#like dude your games are a lot more complex now and have a lot more shit happen. why is it less than a year

[doctor-disc0]

Bethesda needs to bring back elder scrolls games taking place over multiple years. I'm sorry, but I genuinely don't think that the Oblivion Crisis and all the Oblivion DLCs happened in 4 months.

And don't get me started on the fact that every event in ESO happens in the same year.

[makncheese12]

Top Shelf

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Jenna Ortega x fem!reader

Masterlist

Summary: being the kid of a well-known book store owner was easy, so was running into famous people. But being book smart doesn’t make everyone people smart.

Warnings: my writing, language(bad words😯), my attempt at being funny, mention of gun shots and head shots, mentions of my favorite book(literally love Ruta Sepetys sm omg.

A/N: part 2? I am going to make you all suffer through the most oblivious slow burn. R if going to be so dumb/oblivious it’ll hurt you all🫶🏻

Word count - 3.6k

Credits: @novmoth (my friend from school who feeds into my delusions and gives me more ideas for this story🫶🏻)

(bare with me English is not my first language🥲 I’m getting help from my friend to edit it)

You were born to it.

The books. The films. The music and video games.

It was your life, literally. With your parents being owners of the infamous establishment called ‘top shelf’, you had no choice but to.

And you wouldn’t ever change.

Books upon books, movie after movie, games old and new and music that could last you weeks. Who would want to change such a life?

Your father was the first to start it.

He was poor man in Washington but had just enough money to buy it from the man who owned the small movie shop before he retired. He slowly started added book shelves and video games to the mix. Getting few customers but enough to survive day to day during the time of his early years

Your mother was a wealthy run away. Wanting something different and new in her life when she met your father. The man was playing on his game boy behind the counter before he saw her.

The poor boy and his run away wife, a classic really.

The rest after that is history.

As soon as they found out your mother was pregnant with you, they used the rest of her money they saved and went to New York where they bought the huge abandoned apartment complex.

They broke all the insides down and built what you now know as your second home. Hundreds of video games, films and music in one section and thousands of books in another.

Thus, Top Shelf was born only two weeks after you.

You met many friends there in the comfort section where students and business people worked as you all goofed off.

Your had also met your small friend group during your younger years, the four of you all never letting your father have the peace he wanted and dragging him all over New York.

With the thousands of books and hundreds of video games and films your parents sold, you had money. Lots of it.

But your mother made sure you never let that get the best of you, never. It went against everything she went for when she ran away.

She would make sure you would work for and earn everything you got, always.

She never let you have too much online activity, in case her family found you and made sure you were both street smart and book smart.

Your neighbors made sure you were street smart more than anything but you still gave her credit for trying.

Though, the book store was beautiful in every season. Winter was a favorite and when it was busiest. It was too your favorite.

Your father lighting the public fire place, your mother setting soft seasonal music, hell even the cheesy Christmas cartoons on the TV’s set the mood for the perfect bookstore vibe.

The lights dim just enough to where it almost felt like dark academy yet the plants that grew down the upstairs railing made the entire place feel more alive.

————

“Bullshit!” You yell out as you throw your head back onto the head rest of your chair, groaning loudly as the photo sound of your death snapped in your ears.

“Man, he’s fucking using cheats!” Dru calls out through the mic before his name pops up above to yours in dark red on the screen as you respawn.

“Of course he is, he’s a pussy.” Mj says, as her name, too, pops up on the screen.

“Oh come on, guys!” Lyle says through his staticky mic. “You all just suck.” He laughs

“Now I know your cheating, dude. Your mic is acting up again, just like last time!” Dru says, the sound of his voice booming louder than needed and you roll my eyes.

“DD, just because you like to replay games without using cheats doesn’t mean the rest of us do.” Lyle says in a matter-of-fact tone.

“It’s multiplayer, stupid! It’s meant to be fair for everyone!” Dru says making you snort. “Says the guy who chases around little kids and steals their horses making them cry.” Mj says making Dru blow into his mic making loud, unnecessary noises.

“Quit that!” You say taking one head phone off your ear. “Tsk tsk tsk,” Lyle starts. “Such a sore loser.”

“I’ll show you sore loser, get on Elden ring and we’ll test your irritation.” Dru says, mic now muffled by his own spit.

“Your tank build is not enough to stop me, comet azur will always save the day.” He says in a sing-song voice.

“And you call me a try hard, yet you’re the one always using a broken spell.” Dru complains. “Theres nothing I have to try hard at when I can just hold a simple button.” The sound of Dru’s groans become louder as his spit clears out from his Mic. “Same thing!”

You laugh once again before picking up your phone and looking at the time.

“Shit!” Your eyes go wide at the sight, 8:48 AM.

You quickly throw the head set off and push yourself out of the chair, opening your closet grabbing a quick pair of jeans and a hoodie before rushing to put it all on.

Your cat skids across the floor, startled by your sudden movements before a crashing in the your pile of books and out the door.

“Shit, shit, shit,” you mumble as you jump up and down to put on your shoes, failing at not falling and race toward the door. “Sorry!” You call to your cat who yells at you next to his food bowl.

You grab your keys and rush out the door before slamming it shut and locking it.

“Ay, y/n!” Your neighbor, Rosa, shouts from beside her door. “Quiet will you! I just put Nona to sleep!” She yells raising her news paper tapping your head with it.

“Sorry! sorry, Señora Rosa.” You whisper yell as you try to push her weaponized hand away. “I’m just a little late.”

“And I just got a moment of peace! Quiet!” She says giving you one last wack making you try and shrink away from her as you rush toward the stairs.

“You got your pepper spray, right?” She calls and you raise your key chain to show her the attached small can. “¡Buena niña!”

You rush down the stairs and push passed the glass door, almost slipping on the ice before running down the street.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket making you quickly take it out.

“Hello?” You ask without knowing who it was.

“Arthur Morgan would be very disappointed at your sudden disappearance from an important mission.” Lyle says before sighing.

“It’s multiplayer, there are no main missions.” You say, trying to avoid the ice on the ground before stopping at the red hand across the street. “Plus, we were in the middle of four way 1v1. He’d be more upset that we were going against each other.”

“Loyalty is everything in such a game,” he says, sarcasm in his voice and you imagine him shaking his head. “Of course he would be upset at my bullet in DD’s head.”

“Why’d you call me exactly?” You ask watching the hand turn into a green man walking before taking off again.

“Well, you just yelled ‘shit!’ Before disappearing on us, had to make sure someone didn’t break in and kill you.” He replies casually as if he knew that weren’t the case. “But after hearing you continue on your ‘shit’ rant and the door slam I figured it was okay, just had to call and make sure, y’know?”

“Ever heard of a text, loser?” You ask, barley missing a man walking and looking down at his phone. “Gross,” he says before making a gagging noise. “why waste such time typing when I can simply just hit one button?”

“You’re so lazy.” You laugh out loud as you run across another street. “Work smarter not harder, Y/N. You should know this with that big brain of yours.”

“What if I want to work both smarter and harder?” You ask, running up to the glass window to see the books lined up. “Well, then your just weird.” You roll your eyes.

“Just kidding. I guess you can do both, I just personally prefer the alternative.” He says as the sound of guns shooting fills the phone. “Yeah, also sorry about leaving.” You say pushing into the store being greeting with the familiar smell of books and the warm smile of my mother.

“I forgot I had to get ready for work.”

“You’re at top shelf?” He ask and you reply with a ‘mhm’. “I might stop by later to say hello actually, I need a new game anyway.” He laughs as the sound of Dru yelling in the back ground becomes more prominent.

“Sounds good, see you loser” You say as you take your sweat shirt off, leaving you in your tank top you hand before leaving. “Later,” you hear him say before hanging up.

“Good morning,” you hear your mother say as you pull the staff sweat shirt over your head and pull up your sleeves. “Mornin’,” you reply before kissing her cheek.

“Wheres dad?” You ask looking around before your eyes setting on the woman stack a pile of books into one pile.

“He’s going to be out of town for a few days,” she says carrying the pile to the check back station. “A vacation, I insisted as I continue your training.” She says making you smile.

“We both know he needs it, he’s getting older.” She says and your smile fades as you nod. “So are you.” You mumble and she, too, nods.

“You know him getting old is different from me getting old.” She states, sighing quietly.

“What’s todays task?” You ask, quickly changing the subject at the sight of her sad frown. She looks at you for a moment before smiling once again.

She moves to storage closet and unlocks it, allowing you to see the boxes upon boxes along with stacks of different other things.

“To be a good store owner, you have to know your customers.” She says returning with a large box that you quickly take from her.

“Just put it on that table — and to know your customers, you must socialize and help them throughout the store.” She finishes as you take the box to the table noticing the label romance written across it.

“That also means having to work while helping the customers, so you’ll be on stock duty as well.” She says with a smile.

Yes.

You mentally say to yourself. Stock duty required work of you finding the places of different books, movies and games which also meant finding new things you didn’t know about before.

“One more thing,” you mother says as she walks behind the counter to finish opening up the store. “No head phones.” Your eyes go wide.

“But ma!” You call out to the lady who switches the sign from closed to open. “What else am I supposed to do when I stock!” You call, holding onto the white cords and swinging them around.

“Help the customers and socialize.” She laughs out making you frown. “I should call CPS.” You mumble carrying the box to the sorted area before hearing the woman’s laugh.

“Sure, call ahead but don’t be disappointed when they decline a twenty year old.”

You roll your eyes before continuing down the aisle.

“And after you sort those, get the others out of the storage closet!” You huff quietly as you glance back with a small playful glare on your face.

“If I wanted to work out, I would have gone to the gym.” You say and she rolls her eyes. “You’ll be just as sore in the morning, trust me.”

————

Hours hand passed, since you last seen the romance box having moved on to the horror section of the films.

You search through their placement areas, looking at all the old cinematic master pieces, the many Dracula films placed neatly next to each other, in order of both year and name.

Horror was one of the favorites when coming here, your father being a collected through his years he had many people couldn’t get their hands on.

Sure you could watch it online now but where’s the fun in that when you have a real copy with the static noises and written voices on screen. Some people still had some class left in them.

You hear a book hit the floor making the library echo as heads turned toward the cause of the sudden interruption of their silence.

“Shit—” You hear someone say quietly, making you roll your eyes as you place the rest of the CD’s in their rightful places before making your way toward the aisle the noise came from.

You subtly make your way toward the aisle while acting like your checking the books before taking a peek around the corner.

You see a rather short girl — shorter than the third shelf — craning her neck to look up at all the books in front of her.

Just to your luck, your mother placed a box for that genre next to the end of the shelf and you picked it up.

You make your way down the aisle and set the box toward the middle before looking up the girl who was already staring, and boy was she something.

Freckles littered across her tan skin, strands of her short hair fell from her half up half down style, her eyes — damn her eyes — they were the prettiest brown you’ve ever seen.

You smile lightly before picking up the first book and reading both the authors name and the title while trying to slow down your racing heart.

Who was this girl? Matter of fact, what was she? She wasn’t a regular, that’s for sure but you always get random people coming in so it didn’t exactly matter.

After putting away a few books, you glance up to see the girl a few feet away and on her tippy toes, reaching for a book on the fifth or sixth shelf.

You snorted quietly catching the girls attention making you quickly look away to keep yourself from laughing.

“You think this is funny?” She asks and you begin shaking in quiet laughter.

After a few moments, you compose yourself and stand shaking your head.

“No, not at all. Would you like some help?” You ask taking step toward her. She narrows her eyes. “Are you making fun of me right now?” She asks, both amusement and annoyance in her voice.

“Why would I do that? It’s poor customer service.” You say with a smile before watching her own smile grow.

“It’s poor customer service to laugh at a customer.” She mumbles before stepping back. “Please.” You walk up and grab the book.

“Look how easy that was.” She says, taking the book you held out for her. “Being six-foot-two does have its perks.” She says looking over the back of the book.

You roll your eyes but your smile only grows. Looking down at the book you nod and raise your eye brows, “that’s a good one, read it a few years back.” You say, making your way back to box of books.

“I’d hope so, for all the work I had to do to try and get it.” She mumbles making you smile and shake your head. “Anything else good?” She asks, looking down to you.

“You’re asking me if there’s anything else good in here when there’s just by the look of it thousands of books here?” You ask, smirking at her when she rubs the back of her neck.

“Yes, there is, I’ve read more than I can count. My recommendation board is up by the front desk if you want to check it out.” You say before placing crave by Tracy Wolff into the slot.

“You must have come here a lot before working then? If you’ve read so many books from here.” She asks, following hot on your trail with the book tucked between her arm. “Oh, for sure,” you say nodding. “The owners and I are real close, we were together a whole nine months before I was born.”

Her eyes widen slightly at the information. “You’re parents own this place?” She asks, gesturing to the entire book store and you nod, smiling.

It felt like you were a teenage boy, flaunting his muscles to a girl he finds attractive.

“Wow,” she says looking around once again. Book still tucked tightly into her arm as she did so. “Just wow. Your parents have taste.”

“More like their people pleasers.” You say shaking your head. The real other reason why horror is so popular in the movie section is because of their request.

Every week they check their request list and buy everything people ask for. New books, new movies, new music and games, there’s always something new. You’re surprised there’s still room, then again the place would be as big you supposed.

“They like having their customers choice their number one priority. It’s good business.” You say looking up to the girl who had a look of wonder in her eyes as she stared down at you but there was also something else. Something you couldn’t quite place.

She stares at you for another moment before speaking again, “do you.. know who I am?” She asks and your furrow your eye brows in question.

“Should I?” You ask tilting your head. She stares for another moment again, eyes scanning your face and it’s features as if searching for something.

Her smile then grows, as she shakes her head. “You shouldn’t, or rather shouldn’t have to. It’s just a surprise.” She says, tucking her hair behind her ear.

You knit your eye brows together in confusion.

She walks out of the aisle and you catch the light smile on her face as she does.

What the hell? You wonder to yourself as you place the last few books away.

You were pretty sure that was the last section, unless your mother put out some more stuff you didn’t notice. You’d just check out the to-do list.

Your mother and father always had one for both you and their own sake. Adding things so no one would forget.

As you made your way to check out, you see the girl walking in the general distraction as well.

“All set?” You ask, placing the box inside the others, moving past the small door attached to the low counter.

“Yep,” she says once again staring at you.

You take the book you got for her earlier along with another you recognize almost immediately. “Between shades of gray?” You ask, looking at her as if she were serious.

“Your description seemed trust worthy enough to make me interested.” You glance over to see your board clearly flipped through before nodding.

You scan both books. “Careful, it’s sad, dark and traumatic. It’s one of my favorites though.” You say looking up at her, she pauses for a moment, staring at you once again and just smiles and shakes her head.

“I think I can deal with a few of those.”

“Bartering or buying?” You ask. “Bartering,” she replies and you nod. “Good, I need to get a review on what you think.” You say with a smirk and you see a glint of something in her eyes.

“Name?” You ask and she looks at you a little confused. “We have to know whose using our books, how else do you think we send emails threatening to charge or get them back?” You snort.

“Oh, your totally right.” she says quietly before taking out her credit card.

“Jenna Ortega..” she says and you nod, typing in the name before reaching for the credit. Her grip on the card tightens at your lack of response.

You pull the card gently but her grip is to hard for you to take.

“Can I… get the card?” You ask, looking around slightly uncomfortably with the stone like stare she was giving you.

“Are you sure you don’t know who I am?” She asks letting go allowing you to swipe the card.

“Again, should I?”

You both stare at each other, both confused and entrapped by the other.

You find is strange how she thinks you know who she is or why you don’t know her.

Maybe she was some big deal somewhere off and you still have yet to hear about her.

Her name did ring a bell but you weren’t sure. Was she a person you knew from your child hood? An old friend trying to reconnect? Maybe some relative on your moms sent by the older ones to investigate if it was really you.

“Miss Ortega?” You’re both broken out of your thoughts as two large men stand behind her. “Time to go.” he says gesturing to a few people who were standing and staring in your general direction.

One grabs the bag off the counter before quickly walking towards the door.

“Looks like I gotta go,” she says, smile now suddenly shy with others watching. “Don’t worry, I’ll return your book Y/N.” She says before walking toward the door, one of the men right behind her.

“Yeah, you bet-“ you pause after the the realization hits you. “Wait, how’d you-?” You begin to ask before watching her gesture to her chest.

You knit your eyebrows together, you look down to see the name tag right under the library symbol.

She was strange.. cute.. but strange

Read next sort here!

A/N : Some parts once again rushed🧍🏽‍♀️This is just an introduction I suppose, the details will get better I tried my hardest🥲

[anonzentimes]

i find it honestly kind of insane how misunderstood komaeda is online like maybe its because i did his ftes on my own playtrough but just from playing dr2 once to me he never felt like a "uwu hope boy" or a "hope obsessed male junko", he just felt like his own guy with his own reasons that have nuance and arent bound to black and white good or bad mentalities, and because i got all of that from 1 playtrough i honestly thought nagito was not that hard to understand and now i see people boxing him on one or the other and i just sit there like did we play the same game ???????

im also someone that overthinks a lot and wants my interpretations of characters to line up with canon as much as i can and i dont dare to talk on the internet about characters i dont fully grasp so its bonkers to me how many people are so openly completely missing the entire point of nagitos character........

It really is annoying how some people completely miss his character or think he has to be stuffed in specific categories, part of what makes his character so great is that he cares so much and is so sweet but is morally gray when it comes to his absolute beliefs/obsessive coping mechanism but even in the end his moral grayness doesn't have ill intentions. He's messed up by the circumstances of his life and the diagnosis also impacts things, he's still a really sweet boy who cares a lot and all of that is a MIX. Nagito is basically the moral grayness added to Danganronpa 2 that makes its messages more impactful and interesting. Nagito is practically a parallel to both Makoto and Hajime, and with his own sweetness and personality, problematic coping mechanisms from circumstances/luck cycle, and appearance it creates somebody completely new and wonderful. Somebody who's Super LOVABLE!!! In fact Nagito is so easy to misinterpret that the Wiki actually says "He's revealed to be a psychopath," which kind of undermines everything about him as well as isn't actually correct to the definition of a psychopath >:(

also the male Junko thing is inherently wrong because his mindset is completely different and Junko is also well written in her own way, the crazy eyes make people think of it or make jokes about it but it's just completely wrong Lol. Nagito loves Hope and believes despair is absolutely NECESSARY for Hope. Again, more of a parallel to Makoto, Not Junko. And then for the whole "uwu" boy it's like, c'mon dude. I know you didn't say these and are indeed agreeing with annoyance with these statements but I get annoyed too so I wanted to add a mini ramble about it too HAHA!

Anyways, I guess overall I just wish people could enjoy him with completely understanding him more, It feels really good for me at least. Probably because he's the biggest special interest i've ever had in my life and mere mentioning him gives me happiness, but I digress I think he doesn't have to be put into specific boxes. Good people can do bad things, he's a complex character with a lot of depth. In a weird way his character is definitely over the top fantasy from the franchise being that way, but what Danganronpa does is make that feel real. In that aspect Nagito feels realistic with how he isn't just black or white.

thanks for your ask and thank you for letting me ramble on my birthday <3 :D!!!!!

[laundrybiscuits]

“Who’s Eddie?”

Darren doesn’t sound jealous or anything. It’d be a little hypocritical of him, considering he’s got a boyfriend and all. But Darren’s stayed the night a few times, more than anyone else Steve’s been sleeping with lately, and Steve thinks they’re getting to be pretty good friends at this point, and Steve’s been trying this thing lately where he’s more honest with his friends.

“Why do you ask?” Steve’s stalling, and he knows he’s stalling.

“You say Eddie sometimes in your sleep. Just wondering. He an ex or something?”

“No. Not an ex. Just a guy I—just a guy I liked, when I was a teenager.” It’s not completely true, he doesn’t think. But it’s close enough.

“Never got up the courage for a sweet little farmboy fumble?” Darren’s a city boy, and he likes to tease Steve about his supposedly agrarian roots even though Steve keeps telling him he’s never even been on a farm. (Aside from harvest festivals, and apple picking, and 4-H fairs, and his grandpa’s—okay, Darren has a little bit of a point. Not much.)

“He’s dead. He died,” Steve says. They’re just words. They can’t hurt anymore.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” says Darren, because Darren is not actually an asshole. He’s looking carefully at whatever Steve’s face is doing. Steve doesn’t know. Tentatively, he asks, “Was it because…?”

“No,” says Steve. Then he backtracks. “Maybe. Partly.”

Hunt the freak, right?

It wasn’t Jason Carver’s teeth in Eddie’s guts, but if things had broken a little differently, if they hadn’t had to worry about the human monsters in Hawkins…Steve thinks a lot about how it might have gone. Sometimes he hates Eddie for not being just a little bit more normal, and then he hates himself for thinking like that.

Steve has never said yes to a guy named Jason. It’s so fucking stupid and pointless. Maybe he’s missed out on the love of his life by turning down Jason Jones or whoever, and it's not even like Jason was the only one responsible. But he just can’t. He can’t.

He thinks it’s probably not even about Eddie himself, like as a real person. Eddie was just some guy, some kid, who was funny and handsome and sweet and wild, who loved the things he loved as if nobody had ever told him not to. 

A lot of people had told him not to. 

Eddie died because of ravening nightmare beasts and one superpowered evil dude with a god complex.

Eddie died because he liked playing a game about stories and magic.

Eddie died because some people, the people who raised Steve, the people who Steve used to love and look up to—those people couldn’t understand him, and thought that gave them the right to take away his life.

Growing up, Steve had always thought of himself as a lifelong Hawkinsite, the kind of guy who sticks around and puts down roots. But when Robin had asked him to go with her to New York, near the tail end of '86, it had been so easy to say yes. Leaving Hawkins behind had felt like escaping the jaws of a trap, even if it meant leaving a limb behind. They’ve been to Paris and London and LA, staying in filthy student hostels and drinking cheap wine, living the kind of life that had once seemed as make-believe and impossible to Steve as the kids’ wizard games. 

Steve dates men, now. He thinks that would have seemed even more impossible than Paris to his sixteen-year-old self. 

He still dates women sometimes. He’s had a couple girlfriends. Mostly, though, he’s not looking for anything too slow or serious, and that’s easier to get with men once you know where to look. He’s got Robin, he’s got the kids to see on Thanksgivings and Christmases, what else does he need? 

They’d moved out of New York around '91. Rent got to be too much, and Dustin had just bought a place in Oak Park with his then-girlfriend because the kid U-Hauls faster than a lesbian. 

So now, they share an apartment on the north side of Chicago, close to the lake. It’s pretty nice. Steve’s pushing 30, bartending six nights a week, and Robin answers phones at a fancy dentist’s office in the Loop. It’s been a lifetime since they’ve run from anything with too many teeth under the wrong sky. 

“Tell me about Eddie,” Darren says into the silence that's been stretching out too long.  

Steve closes his eyes.

“He was brave,” says Steve. “Every single day of his life, he was brave.”

(Now with follow-up!)

[justmeinadaze]

We're a Family Part 4 (Steddie X You)

A/N: Sorry this took me awhile. I've been so obsessed with I'm in Control I hadn't really had any ideas for these 3. But alas...I bear you this. <3

Warnings: Steddie relationship and all that that implies ( I regret nothing!), as we know by now reader is pregnant but it's still early. Reader mentions missing her dad <3, smut of course (because Im always horny for these two).

Word Count: 3335

“Oh ma god.” Your sister danced around excitedly with the ultrasound in her hand. “I’m going to be aunt.”

“Hey!”, Dylan pouts from his place near the hood of her car.

“You know what I mean!” Kierra grins at him before hug tackling you. 

“Yeah, you’re not going to be anything if you blow up”, Eddie cleans his hands as he turns around. “Kierra, how long has it been since you did any kind of maintenance on this car?”

“Define ‘maintenance’.”

He laughs as he sighs. “I can get it running but you may really want to consider looking into getting a new mode of transportation.”

“Hey Kierra.” Steve greets your sister as he exits the house. “Hey, should you be that close to the car when your pregnant?” A small smile paints your face as your sibling giggles. “I mean with all the fumes and stuff.”

“Yeah, usually I would make fun of him to but with this vehicle threatening to send us to all to hell…” Dylan covers his mouth as he laughs at Eddie’s comment. 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just be careful.” He places a quick peck on your lips as he runs to his car.

“Is he off to work?”, Kierra asks.

“No, he’s been spending every Wednesday with Robin. I think it helps clear his head with everything going on.”

“Speaking of everything, I haven’t heard anything from douchebag. No rumors of court dates or anything like that.”

“Eh, let’s take one stressful situation at a time.” You smile at her as the engine roars to life.

“Ah, Mr. Munson, you are my hero!”

####################

“Eddie! Baby! Get down here!”, Steve hollered from downstairs. 

“Jesus, dad. We’re coming!”, Eddie playfully whines as he stomps down the stairs. 

“Here you go little dude.” 

“Thank you, Steve.”

You and Eddie freeze in the kitchen doorway as you look around. Steve had made a pretty complex dinner that smelled amazing. He had set the table that your son was currently sitting at with a huge grin on his face. Now it wasn’t uncommon for him to cook or make dinner but usually it was something quick that you could throw in the oven or took at most ten minutes to prepare. He had clearly put in a lot of effort with this meal. 

“Ok, I think he may have upped his game and is now kidnapping us both. If the food tastes sour or like it’s been poisoned spit it out.”, the metalhead whispers loud enough for everyone to hear. 

“Calm down. I just wanted to do something nice especially after being a jerk a couple of weeks ago. Baby, I know you’ve been craving pasta so,” he gestures towards the table.

“I really have. It was the same with weirdo.” You point at Dylan as you take a seat. “That and Neapolitan ice cream. I’m not sure why but all the flavors mixed together just hit right.”

You four enjoy your dinner with your son asking a lot more questions about what you were like when you were pregnant with him and how he was when he was baby. After a while he asked if he could watch tv before running into the living room. 

“Steve, thank you for this. It was delicious.” He smiles at your compliment, reaching over to intertwine your fingers with his. 

“So, what’s going on, bud?”, Eddie asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I’ve known you for a long time and while I do think this was an apology dinner…I also think you want to talk about something.”

Steve’s brown eyes meet yours as you nod, agreeing with the metalhead. “I didn’t want to push you. I figured you’d bring it up later when we were upstairs.”

“Can’t hide anything from either of you.”, he chuckles. “Okay, yeah, I’ve been keeping something a secret but I want to talk about it now.” Your thumb caresses his skin, comforting him. “I haven’t been hanging out with Robin every Wednesday. I’ve actually been going to a therapist in town.”

“Huh. That explains some things.” Eddie leans back in his chair, waiting for the other man to continue. 

“I don’t like the way I lashed out at both of you but especially you, Y/N. I promised you before we moved, you’d never have to worry about me making you feel unappreciated or worthless. You deserve better. You, Eds, Dylan, and that baby. I want to be better.”

“Honey, I’m proud of you for doing that. I don’t blame you for the way you reacted—”

“I do. It was unfair of me to put that all on you. And Eddie, I regret everything I said to you. I know I panicked but that’s no excuse.”

“I forgive you, man. The news shook us all. I’d be lying if I didn’t say there is a part of me that’s afraid I’ll fuck up and become my dad to but Wayne said that Y/N would sooner kill me then let that happen.”

“I mean, he’s not wrong.”, you laugh. “Steve, why didn’t you tell us when you started going?”

“I don’t know. I think I just wanted to test it out first and see if it would even do any good. Plus, I didn’t want you two to worry.”

“Why are you telling us now?”

“She suggested I should. I told her I wanted to make this apology dinner and she thought it would be the perfect opportunity to tell you I had been coming to see her.”

“I’m proud of you to, man.” Eddie gets up grabbing your plate along with his and takes it to the sink. 

###############

Steve sits along the edge of the porcelain tub in his boxers with his legs on either side behind you. His fingers glide under your chin and tenderly tip your head back. You sigh when you feel the warm water run down your hair. The sound of the plastic cup echoes through the bathroom as he places it to the side and reaches for your shampoo. Your eyes flutter closed as his hands firmly but gently massage the product into your scalp. 

Eddie leans against the other side across from you, a small smile on his lips as he watches your face. “So, when am I supposed to start rubbing your feet and all that.”

“Over a year ago when we started dating.”, you giggle as you lean back and kiss the other man’s knee. “That feels really good, Steve.”

“I saw it in a movie once a long time ago in school. Always wanted to try it.”

“I don’t remember us watching a movie like that in school.”

“Oh well you see, Eds, you would have actually had to show up.” Steve chuckles as Eddie splashes water at him. 

As the other boy reaches for the cup, he glances towards his friend and realizes he’s making an odd face towards you. Their eyes meet and the metalhead gestures with them at your face. Steve’s fingers tip your head back again just intime to see you blink back into reality. 

“Where did you go just then, honey?”

“Nowhere. I was just thinking.”

“About?”, Eddie asks.

“No, it’s fine. It’s not a big deal.” You smile as the fingers under your chin dip you further back so Steve can place a soft kiss on your lips. 

“Tell us, baby. Please.”

You let out a small sigh as he releases you and continues washing the shampoo out of your hair. “Have, um, have you two told anyone yet?”

The hands behind you stop for a moment before continuing their task. 

“I told Robin. I’d be lying if I said I know how to tell my parents.”

“I called Wayne after… after Harrington walked out that day. He’s excited.”, Eddie laughs. “He’s the only one I wanted to tell, honestly.”

Steve stands up and slides off his underwear before climbing into the tub, wrapping his arms around you. 

“What’s going on, baby?”, he whispers.

“I just… I want to tell my mom but…I know she doesn’t agree which makes me miss my dad…which…” You feel the tears threaten to fall as you force them back. 

Eddie leans forward and caresses your cheek with his thumb. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I know it’s not the same but you know you always have us, Dylan, your sister, Wayne, Robin…fucking so many people that are here and behind you on this. You’re not alone.”

You breathily laugh as you lay back against Steve’s chest. “Thank you for saying that. I think it’s just…the hormones making me feel things.” 

“Are they making you feel anything else?” Eddie’s eyes shimmered with mischief. 

“Eddie, what ever could you mean?” He chuckled at your sarcasm, guiding you from Steve’s lap onto his own with your back now against him. His lips gently trailed along your shoulder up to your neck. 

“What do you think, princess? Do you think, Harrington has made it up to you with the dinner and the bath?”

Your eyes narrowed at Steve as his zeroed in on his friends. “Ok, now I’m genuinely asking. What do you mean?”, you giggle.

“What I’m asking you is do you think Stevie here has earned the right to cum tonight? Or do you think he needs to be punished a bit longer.”

“Eddie Munson, we are not punishing Steve. He apologized and has more than made up for what happened.”

“No, no honey. He’s right. I hurt you both and it seems Munson here thinks I haven’t repented enough.” Steve’s tone was light and you didn’t need to turn around to know they were both smirking at each other. 

“You wouldn’t last, Harrington. I bet you ten bucks when we’re done you will be begging to cum.”

“Seriously? Do I get a say in this?”, you giggle. “Because I bet twenty.”

“Oh ok. I see how it is.”

Eddie rose to his feet, pulling you up with him. “Stevie, can you dry her off and get her comfortable on the bed. I’ll be right back. No touching!”

You grin at Steve as he smiles down at you, drying off your wet skin. Quickly, he checks behind him before sneaking a light kiss on your lips. “I love you.”

“I love you to. You know I do forgive you, right?”

“I know, baby. Let the adorable idiot have his fun.”

“Excuse me! I don’t see a beautiful woman on our bed!”, Eddie calls making Steve jokingly rolls his eyes as he lifts you in his arms and carries you to the mattress. The metalhead pats a chair he had brought in from one of the other rooms. “Sit, please.”

“Can I at least put on boxers or…?”

“I’ll allow it.” You smile at Eddie’s tone as he messes with Steve. You’ve heard it before when he plays D & D with his friends or reads a story with Dylan before bed. 

The other boy sits in the chair presented to him placing his elbows on the armrests as he claps his fingers together in front of him. “I can’t wait to get my thirty bucks.”

“He’s so cocky.” 

“I know. It’s that asshole King Steve version of him that still resides under that sexy head of hair.” Eddie smirks as he sits beside you on the edge of the bed and pushes some hair behind your ear. “How are you feeling right now, sweetheart? You okay?”

You respond by cupping his face in your hands and pulling his lips to your own. He smiles into your kiss before lifting you on to his lap with your back once again to his chest. His fingers roam your warm skin as his mouth presses against your shoulder. 

“So beautiful, baby. Isn’t she beautiful, Stevie?”

“Of course.” Steve’s eyes meet your own as he grins. 

Eddie’s palms glide between your thighs, lifting you slightly as he places your legs on either side of his own displaying your sex to the boy in front of him. 

“Keep your eyes on his for as long as you can, princess. I can do the rest.”, he whispers in your ear so only you can hear. “He won’t last long.” You keen into his voice, finding his lips as your tongue grazes his. 

“Fuck…”, you whimper as his fingers press against your clit, rubbing slow circles as you roll your hips, silently begging for more. Eddie chuckles against your skin, swallowing down his own moans as your ass grinds against his cock. “Eddie, please…”

His lips find the shell of your ear as he talks to you in husky, lust driven tone. “Beg him, Y/N. Look in those gorgeous amber orbs and ask him to help you.”

“Steve,” you whine. “Please, make him… make touch me.”

“He is touching you, honey.” Steve tried to sound like he was in control of his emotions and need but you could see in his eyes he was struggling. 

“Please… I want... his fingers inside of me. Please, Stevie.”

“Eddie…Eddie, stop messing with her. Give her what… what she’s asking for.”

The metalhead’s chin rested on your shoulder as his knees open your legs wider and he pushed two of his fingers slowly inside of you. “Is she asking? Or is it you?”

Steve smirks as he shakes his head, licking his lips. “You suck, Munson.”

“Oh, come on, Harrington. You know you want to see her cum just as much as I do. I also know you are dying to feel how fucking wet she is. Jesus, she’s just dripping.” You moan as you lean your head back and he gradually quickens his pace. 

“I’m so fucking lucky that after I make her cum, I get to feel her tight pussy squeeze around my dick till she cums again.” Your whimpers are soon accompanied by some light groans from the boy across from you. “And that’s just the dirty stuff.”, Eddie smiles. “You won’t get to feel her lips or her touch on your chest. The way her nails run down your back or the way she moans and begs that moment right before…”

His fingers thrust into you quicker and you feel both sets of eyes on you as your back arches and the coil snaps. “Well, you’ll get to hear it but it won’t be because of you.” Eddie grips your cheek and turns your face to bring your lips to his. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you to. I feel bad for Steve.”

“Aw, baby. Why? Look at him. He’s just fine.” You both look at the boy and notice his cock standing at attention as he strokes it slowly with his palm.

“Hey. You said I couldn’t cum. You—mmm—you didn’t say I couldn’t touch myself.”

“Yeah, good luck with that.”, Eddie cackles. You lean over and whisper something in the man’s ear causing a huge grin to spread over his features as he kisses your cheek. 

Rising from his lap, you walk over till your right in front of Steve as he tilts his head up to look at you with a big grin. Your hair floats over your shoulder as you turn to glance at Eddie. “May I at least kiss him, your highness?”, you inquire with a sarcastic tone. 

“Madam, I am a dungeon master. Be correct. And yes, I’ll allow it.”

“Oh, ok.” You roll your eyes as you lean down to kiss the man’s lips. As you start to pull away, his free hand tries to keep you there.

“Hey, hey! I said kiss.” You giggle as Eddie tugs on your arm bringing your back against his chest. “Then again, Harrington. You know what you have to say…”, he sings.

“No. I’m fine. You two have your fun.” Steve gestures towards the bed as you both grin down at him. 

The other man brushes your hair over to one side before descending his palms down your body, pausing as he grips your hips. The cool air of the room hits your skin as his upper half leans back to watch what he’s doing as he guides his cock into your entrance. 

You mewl at the feeling, one of his hands drifting up to hold your stomach. Eddie’s hips steadily grind against yours allow you to get used to the position and feeling as he pushes deeper inside of you. 

“That’s not fair.” Steve’s breathy whine causes you and Eddie smile in triumph. 

You feel yourself start to tip forward and the metalhead hastily tightens his grip around you as one of his arms wraps around your chest lifting you both up to a more standing posture. 

“I’ve got you, baby. It’s ok.”, he whispers. As you turn to kiss his lips, both hands take hold of your biceps as he begins thrusting at a faster pace.

Moaning, you break away to lean your upper body towards Steve as Eddie holds on to you tightly. “God, that feels so good.” A palm suddenly touched your face and your eyes opened to meet the boy in front of you. 

“Do you remember that first night the three of us were together?”

“On the couch.” You bite your bottom lip as you smile at the memory. 

“This reminds me of that. Eddie was fucking you like this and—mmm—I was stroking my cock watching you two.”

“Fuck.” Your eyes squeezed shut as Eddie pumped into you harder, clinging to your wrists as you leaned farther forward. 

“You were so beautiful. Moaning about how deep he was and whispering to me about how good he felt. You’re still gorgeous, honey. The way—fuck—the way your eyes roll back and the way you fucking taste.” Steve groaned as he stroked himself faster.

Eddie grunted behind you as you felt his hips sputter and he pulled you back against him as he came. While thrusting his spend into you, he quickly reached around your front and aggressively circled your nub with his fingers. Your body folded into his as you fell over the edge and your pussy clenched around him. He hissed between his teeth as his arms held you tightly to him, both of you panting as you came down. 

“Fucking hell.”

You opened eyes to see Steve’s own flutter shut as his muscled tensed. He was about to cum and there was no going back now for him. You sank to your knees and crawled closer him, moving his hand and wrapping your mouth around his cock. 

His palm held the back of your head as he pumped rope after rope of his seed down your throat, swallowing everything he gave you. 

You grinned as you sat your butt flat on the floor, leaning against his leg. Eddie extended his hand for you to take and helped you up before twirling you towards the bed. As he cleaned between your legs, Steve came to lay by your side.

You pleasantly sighed as his fingers traced down your chest towards your stomach. 

“Do you think she thinks I was mad at her?” Your eyebrows came together as you turn to look at him. “Don’t laugh at me. While I wait in the lobby for my appointments, I’ve been reading this book about babies. It said she can kind of feel when you touch your stomach but, like, can she hear me yet?”

“I don’t think so because if she could I imagine HE would be annoyed you call him she.” Eddie jumps into bed on your other side as Steve jokingly scowls at him. 

“They’re still too little to really hear anything but I imagine even if they could they would know you love them.” You smile as you reach up to caress him cheek. 

“Good. Good.” He nods as he scoots down to lay his head on your tummy. “Because I do love you and just so you know I don’t care if you’re a boy or girl. I’m just happy you’ll finally be here.”

############

@adequate-superstar @kalinaselennespeaks @luna-munson83

@manda-panda-monium @decadentwombatmiracle

@katie-tibo @marsupiooo @local-stoner-bitch @steamystrangerfics

@lunatictardis @actuallyspencerreid @moviefreak1205

@waylandmorgernsternherondal-blog @kik51199

@strngrlytn @idkidknemore @damon-loves-pie @k-k0129

@micheledawn1975 @eddie86baby

@justmeandmymeanderingthoughts @3rriberri @sashaphantomhive

@chelebelletx @big-ope-vibes @munsonzzgf

[suffarustuffaru]

What are your least favorite ships? Not counting Subaru x one of the minors (i sadly have seen some around)

whew...... least favorite ships..... now thats a bold question HAH and i may have some. ah. Bold answers hah.

im generally pretty open to most ships, its just a matter of like. either i already liked the ship / was really into the ship or im more neutral about it and you just gotta convince me why i should at least give it a shot or be like "this could be good in certain circumstances". i dont usually care if a ship is toxic or "problematic" per say bc 1. this is rezero and sooo so many ships in this show arent 100% healthy lbr and 2. i will like a ship if its like. complex, and if theres problematic stuff, then its done for a reason - like it's not just there willy nilly. but thats just my personal feelings on it yep!! :o fiction is different from real life and all that.

more under the cut!!

that being said like. you know, kinda like you said - the obvious answers would be like subaru x any minors and just any sort of incest ships bc like. i do not see the point of it. that and you know, like a lot of people, i tend to avoid these sorts of ships with 99.999% of fandoms im in. i aint here for incest or shipping adults with minors. and i know theres like fandoms like game of thrones where this sort of thing IS relevant in the story, but with rezero - like it just is not relevant here and adds nothing unless youre into that. i do get that fictional stuff is different from real life and its not necessarily an indication of someone's character. i also definitely know this bc ive cowritten a gluttony if selfcest fic for this fandom as a very extreme crack treated seriously story hahh. but yeah like. ships between family and adult x minor are Not For Me in this fandom. i dont feel like it adds anything to the story and its also like Really out of character.

granted, i cant really say much on that bc ive written and posted selfcest for this fandom but like. in my defense, i did way too much research for that fic (..............i researched a lot of psychology stuff) and also gluttonybaru is Canonically Not Normal about subaru. the more you think about gluttonybaru the worse he gets HAH. like. dude has canonically kissed subaru via emilia's book of the dead....................

but obviously ofc i do not condone any of this ^^^^ in real life.

anyway on a lighter note!! im not a huge fan of most ships between subaru and *insert a female side character here*. like im not a big fan of like. subaru x anastasia, subaru x priscilla, subaru x elsa, subaru x yorna, subaru x pandora, like... the list can get kinda long bc people in this fandom in certain english spaces like to ship him with like any girl ever, it feels like sometimes. it gets to the point where sometimes i feel like subaru is just the self-insert to be shipped with women that people have the hots for.

like with most content about these sorts of ships, its hard for me to see much point to it - and there IS potential there. there is almost always potential in so many different tropes and ships, and theres some cool fanart in this fandom with these ships!! but you know, i hear about people suggesting ideas with these ships or writing fic about these ships and its just not my cup of tea bc it really sacrifices the characterization of all these women. and elsa is like already sexualized enough okay and its almost never nuanced and taking into account her backstory :( like i could be convinced to ship these ships with like idk 20k to 200k words of relationship and character development, but as it stands i personally really dont like them hah ;-;;; and also priscilla is clearly more into women okay (she canonically talks about how men are only allowed to fantasize about her and nothing more or she'll cut off their heads!!) and anastasia seems more into like julius and priscilla so like. HAH.

subaru x crusch is not something im a big fan of but im pretty open to it hah, i just havent seen much fancontent about them that really piques my interest :,)

anyway i also just. dont like the idea of taking a gay subaru ship and genderbending only one of them due to homophobia. and ill emphasize and underline that last part - due to homophobia - bc ive seen really good genderbend subaru content in this fandom where subarus afab and shipped with like julius or reinhard or something and there was clear effort and passion put into it!! and i do think its interesting thinking about how genderbend aus would affect this sort of thing for sure <3 i really really enjoy seeing the well made genderbend aus in this fandom!!

but i see other people suggesting fic ideas or making fics sometimes where its like fem subaru x male side character or like now-fem side character x subaru but it like its only clearly done bc some people just cant ship a gay ship, they gotta make it straight and then not put effort into thinking how this would change more things. and the female character in the duo now is Especially terribly out of character :(( the homophobia is just so so irritating to me. i go on the fic reddit thread sometimes and i see stuff like. i think once i saw a thread about someone requesting ottosuba and someone else immediately went "oh, with femotto right!!" like. ...... please. they are a gay ship :,,,))))))) let them be gay Sometimes at least!! maybe we can genderbend both of them sometimes??? :,)))

also on a less serious note HAH ok like..... ok hear me out, dont kill me for saying this either, but - fredotto. frederica and otto. and - ok dont get me wrong, i think theyd be really really interesting for multiple reasons, right. and ive seen some cute fancontent on them that i liked a lot!! so i really do think they have lots of potential!! like theres the obvious "otto had a crush on a cat as a child and frederica's a cat demihuman", then theres the other obvious fact of otto and frederica being connected via garfiel being their brother/brother figure, and also like personality/temperament wise they could bounce off of each other in interesting ways but like.

the thing with fredotto is that i feel like in english fandom its treated as the "more likely" otto ship to happen, at times. which is Absurd to me after studying otto's lore way too hard bc not only is this dude just way too obsessed with subaru (like regardless of whether you view it as platonic or romantic or not, ottos like Down Bad either way LMAO i just dont see him having eyes for anyone else at this rate)... but also otto OPENLY ADMITS that he'd be bad in a relationship with a woman. like im really sorry but frederica would probably be Too Good for him. and he would Know That.

otto………. can you specify what “the most important thing” is. like do you mean ONLY your career or—

anyway so its like. you want me to believe that otto "i could never be in a relationship with a woman as i am now" suwen. could date a woman????? right now???? i dont think so LMAOO. like i would feel BAD shipping a woman with otto bc barely anyone deserves otto, ok. idk you might be going "suffaru arent you kinda mean to otto" but like being an otto fan also means being his biggest hater and dude is just super super cringe. and even if he had a crush, the chances of him voicing it is Probably Low.

like ships like fredotto, again, need like idk maybe like a few thousand words of development At Least on both ends, bc frederica?? we barely know anything about her at the moment, so its Really hard to approach a ship like this in an in-depth manner right now. like id love to explore fredotto!! id love to learn more about frederica!! id love to go crazy with this ship!! but yeah its definitely kinda hard bc we barely know anything on frederica :< :( and yeah once again. i think shes too good for otto. i think almost every woman is too good for otto. if youre shipping a woman especially with otto you gotta jump through hoops to Really convince me on this HAH. bc i think shipping him with men is just gonna lead to two different possibilities (codependency. and/or otto trying to femme fatale his way through life 👍)

yeah anyway jokes aside. fredotto at worst feels like just a case of pairing the spares and like Clearly they must only be in a straight ship or something HAH.... like i would love to read/write extensive relationship development on them though ;-;;; they got good potential, youd just have to put in the work for me to Believe that they could happen ;-;;;; but most fredotto english fic content atm is just them already being a Thing in the background like ;-;;; this would Not Happen from either of them without development!!!

also i have some fredotto tumblr posts floating around with what i Think would be fun to do with their dynamic…. idk where they are rn hah but yep i think they got potential :,) !!

anyway HAH i hope you did not mind reading about my least favorite ships in this fandom bc this is everything thats coming to my mind now 👍

[oceansprompts]

marvel's midnight suns | misc quotes 1

I will not be howling at the moon any time soon.

Have to say, for a haunted Transian Castle raised on the cursed grounds of Old Salem it's pretty cozy.

I really should up my homeowner's insurance.

You smell... wrong.

You know what they say. All work and no play... is how we ended up with Ultron.

We invented stealth.

I don't actually care, but they need to stop moping. So. Can they play with your dog?

Admit what? That I feel a sense of admiration and respect for a fellow teammate?

Yeah, I didn't figure someone so great and powerful would be into a book club.

You're hung up on the were-roosters... Alright, let's hear what you got.

Is this visit business or pleasure?

How’s your mental health? A good portion of this “darkness hunting” game is mental health and processing intense situations.

But, hell on Earth isn’t a garden stroll.

I’ve spent decades experimenting and putting it together. Any of ’em interest you?

I’m telling you. I don’t know what’s coming next, but I do know when the shit hits the fan with Chthon...

You’re acting like I did it for fun...

Comfortable? I’ll never be comfortable around that monster. . .

You’re turning out to be one of my favorite people. . .

Why do you think? They take vicious killers and present them as tragic and misunderstood.

It’s just... Off, somehow. I swear, the moonlight on a clear evening is too dim for this time of year...

Was your first thought about killing me?

What I’m asking is, if I lost control, would you stop me?

Let’s talk about how your mother just turned one of my best friends against us.

These people look to me for guidance, but it feels like I’m stumbling around in the dark.

Just the fact that you are willing to learn means you’re on the right track.

So how do I tell him I’m totally cool with being best pals without scaring him off...

It wouldn’t take many guards to secure the building. So the question is: What else are they doing in there?

It’s not big enough to swim laps. Its only real purpose is for lounging and soaking up the sun.

It figures she’d send you. Did she tell you I want nothing to do with it? Because I still don’t.

Every time I think I’ve got my mind wrapped around this conflict, I get thrown a curveball.

But right now? I want to let you know how proud I am to be serving alongside you and watching your leadership.

Maybe this is what we’re supposed to be doing, fighting an endless war.

What do you make of our chances to get out of this mess in one piece?

That’s an easy question with a complex answer. Tell me this–what type of leader would you follow?

I always did what I thought was right. No more, no less.

Well, not so much fish as that ginormous, invulnerable sewer monster that swallowed the Sanctum.

I’m told I can be rather persuasive when I need to be.

It’s all just starting to blur into one big giant green gamma mess…

I’m having it right now and-wait. I think… oh no. Did I feed my cat before I left?

Would you have been able to take the shot? Because I don’t think I could’ve.

I’m going to be up all night trying to make sense of it, see if it helps us find our way back into the Sanctum.

But the more I see him in action, the more I think he might be an okay dude.

I’m telling you if I have to spend one more hour scanning digital maps…

All you have to do is be ready to fight for what you care about when the time comes.

Yeah, I know. Nasty artifacts like that aren’t known for their safety features…

I have to admit, I don’t think you’d be such a formidable poker player. Yet another reason to respect you.

This is the life, licking it with the legendary Hero, and kicking said legendary Hero’s ass at a fighting game.

Believe it or not, I don’t have a lot peeps I can call friends, not close ones at least.

I feel like you get how just how heavy all that extra baggage…

Sadly, the sense of wonder eventually wears off like most things.

… Sorry if I’m ruining any romantic notions of space travel.

I’m not just my powers. Sometimes I like to take it slow…

I’ve tried blindfolds, facing away from the board, and one-finger throws. Perfect score, every time.

The forbidden nap, if you will. Mercenary work is a grab bag of awful stuff…

Because looking at it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I can play nice all day when we’re out there kicking bad guy booty…

Uh, haven’t you listened to anything I’ve said? Money!

I forgot. You aren’t as self-aware as I am…

Well, your friends have been avoiding me like the plague…

He waved goodbye and peaced out to live a life of solitude…

[kenonade]

for the ask game—3, 5, 18, and 25 for peter wiggin?

THE GUY!!!!!!!!!

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

It’s hard to say because, and I say this with shame—I haven’t read the books in a long, long time. Off the top of my head though, I didn’t like that part in Ender’s Stocking where he became weirdly misogynistic. That was weird. I’m not and have never been a genius teen boy with a younger sister who got rejected by a girl at high school so I can’t say if the interplay between those specific factors would create that outcome—but I sure can say, I didn’t like it.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Ether Strike - Akira Complex. It’s hard to explain because it’s a rhythm game song (hello Arcaea fans) whose lyrics consists of like 4 unique lines but I’ll try. “An intense dissatisfaction with the world / And a compulsion to do something about it / Heaven and Earth / My guiding star” It is a compulsion, right? The way he decided he’d be the one to be in charge of it all. Fueled by a sense of desperation for any amount of validation and the guilt that came with. “My guiding star” reminds me of the conversation he had with Ender at the end of Shadow of the Giant where he said that he’d always think, what would Ender do? It helps that I hear a lot of grief, longing, and determination in the drop, too. Honorable mentions to All You Had To Do Was Stay by TS and Mirror Man by Jack Stauber.

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

Admire is a weirdly specific word in this context. There’s Bean, Petra, his parents, Graff, Achilles, Ender, Val whom I can see him having notable relationships with. Honestly, none of them are quite admirable? These relationships are interesting and complex and I like reading about them but I wouldn’t say that I look up to them for guidance on what to do with my own social life? The only exception is his relationship with Petra. He gave her space to grieve and a cushion to fall back on. He learned to love and they learned to trust.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Dude, the first time I read Ender’s Game I was 12 years old. I don’t even remember how I felt towards the book overall. If I had to guess, I probably didn’t like him. At that stage in my life I would’ve related more to Ender. I do, however, remember the first time I picked EG up for a reread. I fell in love IMMEDIATELY. From the moment the book underlined his hatred with how he felt he wasn’t good enough, I knew he was THE standout character. The scene where he apologizes to Ender thinking that Ender’s asleep… HEARTWRENCHING. His heart-to-heart with Val… MY HEART BROKE. Meanwhile he was also so silly and goofy… literally the most crass character, always saying some wild out of pocket thing that made me go “hang on, we read this in sixth grade??!??” Now, with the part of the Enderverse that pertains to him completely in my pocket, it’s hard to pin down how I feel about him. From a personal perspective, he’s still by far my favorite character. His struggles and triumphs are vivid in a way that the other character’s just don’t live up to, and his failures are incredibly real. Viewing the books from a more critical view, Peter’s existence is interesting in and of itself because he occupies a lot of gray areas in the narrative. He’s a major antagonist in EG, and the only one that changes from an antagonist to a protagonist. He’s meant to be untrustworthy while being likable, making him rather unserious. In a narrative that usually frames characters as People We Should Listen To and People We Shouldn’t Listen To, Peter is the only character that we sorta kinda maybe should listen to depending on how much despair he’s experiencing. He’s explicitly allowed to make terribly embarrassing mistakes that threaten to debase his entire character, but he’s allowed to be helped. He’s allowed to crack jokes; the narrative is allowed to crack jokes about him. There’s an inherent levity to any scene he’s in. He can’t take the moral high ground in any argument—we’ve all seen him at his worst—yet he’s also working towards putting more good in the world. He’s a character filled to the brim with contradictions and even more determination to work through them. As a result, his viewpoints have a nebulous, fluid quality that made it impossible for OSC to use him as a personal megaphone, since, though the reader encouraged to challenge Peter’s assumptions, at the end of the day we’re still on Peter’s side—we want him to succeed, but we know that he WILL fumble doing it. He’s personable. And vivid. Which makes him a poor tool and a fabulous icon. A role that sort of echos his treatment in the novels themselves. Anyway. I think he’s neat.

[darkmagyk]

Ask game: 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21

choose violence ask game (send me more pls!)

the character everyone gets wrong

Annabeth, Annabeth, Annabeth. In SO MANY ways. Right down to her name, where people decide randomly that Annabeth is a nickname for Anna Elizabeth.

But mostly it's the school thing. Annabeth is always going to be the smartest person in the room, but she would (literally) rather die then demean herself to prove it. She also has ADHD, Dyslexia, and missed grades 2-6. I don't know how you can read about her being unwilling to play the Sphinxes game and then think that she'd be a good sport about school? I don't necessarily think she'd do badly. She is 100% in the "smart enough to coast" category. But she's not going to study, she's not going to apply herself. And I suspect when she finds herself disagreeing, she's not going to be open to listening to most teachers. She'll talk back, she'll argue, she'll get detention. She reads books in greek, she probably doesn't have special affection for her school libraries full of books she can't read. Free yourself from the Hermione Industrial Complex and embrace smart girl characters who's only life goal isn't getting As on tests.

Other things, Annabeth did live in Virginia some as a child. But given that it was in Richmond, her father is from Boston, and they moved at least a little (in TLT her family lives in New York State), the idea that her upbringing would be particularly southern, or that she'd have a southern accent is silly.

Also, she thinks Percy is funny. She enjoys his company. They have a lot of similarities. And she knows he's not as smart at she is (no one is) but she doesn't think he's the dumbest person alive. She doesn't hate him. About 80% of all PJO Incorrect quotes can be summed up as Percy: says something dumb, Annabeth: You're an idiot, and I hate you. And that's just...not what's going on with them.

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

It's a sexual position they don't enjoy? Let us not confuse sexual positions with gender or rolls in power dynamics.

Now, if you want to discuss power dynamics, Annabeth is a sub and Percy is a dom. Because Annabeth has a long history of feeling unloved, unwanted, and abandoned and wants to feel desired. And Percy has been dismissed and untrusted and wants to feel competent and trustworthy.

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

Recently saw a post that said Frederick had fucked Athena. You know, Athena, the famously virgin goddess.

(The funniest part was that it was part of a very anti-Frederick post, and yet...by saying Athena, the goddess of wisdom, broke her millennia long, life defining desire to not sleep with men, to sleep with Frederick Chase, they were saying he was a giant Chad and extra extra special. And that Athena saw so much in him, loved him so much, she developed sexual feelings for him and was willing to throw away one of her defining characteristics for him. And that...that was kind of hilarious)

5. worst discord server and why

Um, the Taylor Swift one I joined to trade tips for my show is really pretty bad. Everyone is so mean and bitchy and, I say this as someone who is weird about how much I love Taylor Swift, Swifties are the worst.

Otherwise, I can't keep up with servers, or really any chat with more then like 3 people them. So I can't really tell if they are good or bad.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

See previous comments about Annabeth. But, also, Jesus Christ Frederick Chase. Who is super interesting, and also dealt a bad hand he then played badly. Dude is a Norse Legacy who fell in love with a Hellenic Goddess. He went out of town and his wife ran off his daughter while he was gone. He can see through the mist. He dive bombed a Titan to save said daughter. He's a Red Sox fan and has a daughter who's a Yankees fan. He managed to enchant Athena. Favorite minor character.

Also, everyone is wrong about Poseidon. He's an ass, he's a bad dad (Hades is the best big three dad. And possibly the best godly parents. And that's being graded on the scale that calculates that time he told Nico he wished he'd died and bianca hadn't. That's how bad everyone else is.) And Sally has moved on to bigger and better things.

Combining those two things: Fredthena > PoSally. Fredthena is more interesting, and during the canon of the stories, it's actually still interesting instead of Poseidon just being Sally's loser ex.

Other things: in fic, Luke is Annabeth's looser older brother, not abusive ex. Annabeth is the punk and Percy is the good boy, Jercy wants what Frankercy has.

13. worst blorboficiation

Connor Stoll. He's literally just half a character. And that's fine.

Also Octavian. Who is allowed to just be power mad.

Also...I love Nico a lot, but the way fandom acts about him is...so much.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

Nico. I love Nico, I think he's an awesome character and have written multiple fics about him. But people are so weird about him. And there is an extent to which I get it. He's one of the first incidentally queer characters in middle grade literature (as opposed to a character who is gay in a book all about being gay). He's got the emo vibes we love. And he definitely went through it.

But everyone is kind of going through it. And yet, people will unironically make posts about how Percy promised to protect Bianca and then let her die when...When Bianca set off a monster and Percy literally was like "I have a plan to get rid of it" and then Bianca said "I'll do it" and Percy was like "No, I will" and then Bianca just did it anyway. That isn't on Percy. Similarly "Percy choked Nico, its inexcusable." You know, that time that Nico helped his father trap Percy in a room in the underworld with no ways out or windows or anything. Nico didn't know, and he felt bad and tried to make it right, but it wasn't unreasonable for Percy to be pissed and attack the dude who behaved like an enemy.

[atmilliways]

Wrong On The Money (40)

part 40 of ?? | 1108 words | Teen+

Blackmail fic on Ao3 | on tumblr

Summary:

When Steve gets back from dropping off the kids, Eddie is waiting for him on the front porch.

40.

When Steve gets back from dropping off the kids, Eddie is waiting for him on the front porch. 

No, not waiting for him. He happens to be there, smoking with the porch light off, sprawled on the near end of the couch he and Wayne had salvaged from their trailer. His has his socked feet propped up on the bottom rung of the porch railing. but he gives a little wave as Steve walks up and drops them, an invitation to pass by and sit if he wants.

“So, how was your first foray into Dungeons & Dragons?” Eddie asks. He booms the name of the game in a low, dramatic voice that makes Steve have to smother a laugh. 

“Oh, uh,” Steve says a few beats too late, remembering that he’s supposed to answer. “Yeah, it was . . . kinda confusing? But also, uh, interesting.”

Eddie spins slowly to look at him, eyebrows reaching up towards his bangs. “Confusing . . . yet interesting. That’s some complex feedback, Harrington. Care to elaborate?”

“I don’t. . . .” Steve frowns. He feels like Eddie is making fun of him, big dumb jock who couldn’t get into college—except that doesn’t make sense coming from a three-times high school senior.

But also, Steve isn’t sure what elaborate means. Is it like explain?

He’s just going to try and blow past it. First step: slumping onto the empty end of the couch and putting up a hand, palm up. Second step: “Whatever. Can I bum one? I’ll pay you back.”

Eddie tsks around his cigarette. “What did we decide about owing, dude?” He knocks a stick out of a beat-up pack into Steve’s hand though, and offers his lighter. “I’ve got weed, too, if you’d rather have some of that. No charge. Because,” he continues before Steve can get a word in edgeways, “it’s more practical this way. You make lunch, I share smokes. . . . The barter system is a hell of a lot simpler than quantifying every little thing into cold hard currency.”

“Oh.” That does sound simpler. Steve blinks, takes the lighter, then hesitates. “I . . . kinda would, then. Long day, you know?”

Just like that, the cigarette and lighter are whisked away again. Eddie thumps his feet down onto the porch and leans forward, a tin in one hand now and rolling papers in the other. “Cool. You mind sharing? Don’t think there’s enough in here to roll two.”

“S-sure.” Luckily it’s dark enough to hide whatever Steve’s face is doing—he knows it’s something, probably something embarrassing. And now he’s watching and thinking way too much about Eddie’s lips, the way they purse around the last of his cigarette while he rolls the joint. The joint that he’ll touch to those same lips, then hand to Steve to do the same.

Jesus, he’d never had this problem while smoking with Tommy. Or smoking with pretty girls, for that matter, but that was different. He could’ve kissed those girls anywhere. With Eddie, he can only let himself look for rationed amounts of time, not wanting to be too obvious or get too . . . invested. Steve knows himself, knows he has a tendency to go all way too fast, and doesn’t have a good sense of where that line is. 

Maybe he shouldn’t be doing this, actually. Getting high with Eddie could be a bad idea, put him too far out there and offering too much of himself like he always does.

It’s already happening though. 

When the joint is ready, instead of handing it to him, Eddie glances up and cocks his head to one side. 

“Hey, you’ve got. . . .” He reaches, and just as Steve is about ready to demand if there’s a bug on him or something, Eddie pulls the joint out of his ear. “Tada!”

Surprised, Steve laughs and takes the joint when Eddie offers it to him with a flourish. “How did you do that?” (Again, he thanks the darkness for hiding the fact that both of his ears are now burning.)

“Picked up some sleight of hand as a kid,” Eddie says with a grin and a shrug, holding up his lighter but this time flicking it on for Steve to lean towards the flame. “For legal reasons I have to tell you that I wanted to be a magician when I grew up. Got a little more into that side of it after I moved in with Wayne, but only as a hobby. Now it's just something to entertain the kiddies with when I’m old and gray.”

It’s not just the lungful of smoke that’s making Steve feel warm on the inside, though that helps. Hanging out with Eddie, talking like they’re actually friends, feels. . . . 

It feels nice.

A while later, when the high’s had time to settle in, Eddie asks, “You did have a good time, though, right?”

Steve blinks at him. His eyes have had plenty of time to adjust to the dark, and he can actually see Eddie pretty well, he thinks. The long line of his neck and the faintly gleaming shapes of his rings for sure. “Yeah. It was. . . . Well, too nerdy to be cool. But I had more fun than I expected to.”

“Good.” Eddie stretches, and Steve doesn’t even notice his own head lolling to better follow the motion. “‘Specially since you did it for Will. I’m glad you got something out of it for yourself, too.”

The words make his head snap up. “Uh. Will?”

With a shrug, Eddie explains that oh yeah, kid’d walked in shy as hell and Steve had done nothing but build his confidence up all afternoon. Like it’s nothing, like it doesn’t completely floor Steve that he’d noticed. Why would Eddie notice? That was quick, adding Will to his collection of ‘sheepies’ already. 

Not that Steve is one to talk. He’d come out as bisexual to the kid not twelve hours ago, and that was something he’d only ever said out loud to Robin before. 

But Eddie is smiling at him, and that warm feeling is back, only it’s bigger now. Thick and syrupy and welling up and up and up, like the panic when he’d found Dustin cradling Eddie in the Upside Down only good, and. . . .Oh. He recognizes this feeling from the weeks before he’d first kissed Nancy, not quite in love yet but hopeful, always thinking maybe. Out of self preservation, he hasn’t let himself do that this time. He’d tried to clamp down on it hard, as though if he could starve it of oxygen the embers would die out—forgetting that love isn’t a fire, it’s a battlefield, and Eddie has been sneaking up behind him this entire time.

[chirpsythismorning]

Your post about Mike's guilt complex was AMAZING. I can't wait to read what you put out in the future about later seasons.

I just had a thought inspired by that. Do you think part of Mike's anger towards Lucas' desire to join the basketball team to alleviate some of the social ostracism the party faced in school may be a projection of his own shame?

To expand, Mike's own internal discontent with himself is valuing his identity in the party-- a group of 'freaks' and outcasts'-- but Mike knows that by trying to conform to something he is not (hetero), he is causing pain to himself and his loved ones. So clearly Lucas must not be conforming for good reasons either, in his mind. We know Lucas has different motivations for playing BB and genuinely enjoys it, but I think Mike is clouded by his own feelings here and doesn't see that at all.

Yes, but I think he knows it (deep down at least).

The look Mike gives Lucas at the end of the pep-rally, goes from this offended sort of annoyance, but then shifts to something a little more sad, only to go back to a less severe case of annoyed offense. And I think this is because the tables have turned and he's aware of it.

Because isn't it ironic that last summer Mike was going to Lucas for advice about his girl problems, what he looked at as 'growing up', and so that behavior arguably could have continued in s4? Mike's arc in s4 could have easily involved him trying to fit in with one of the more accepted cliques amongst the student body, with him and Lucas at least being closer based on their social circles overlapping.

But that didn't happen.

Instead what we get is a total flip in s4, where instead of Will trying to convince Lucas and Mike to play, it's now Dustin and Mike trying to convince Lucas to play.

Another part of this I can't help but think about, is how leading up to the rain fight in s3, yes Mike was focused on trying to fit into this box of what a boyfriend should be, and so he was compensating a lot to do just that. But in doing so, he got so caught up in the persona, that he didn't realize he was hurting Will in the process. And Lucas too. It's like their mutual attempts at pretending to be these mature dudes with girlfriends fed off of each other, and turned into something a little too mocky and toxic, only for it to backfire and for Will to storm out. And suddenly that's when Mike is saying that they're just 'not in the mood' and it's like.?.. What? Like, just imagine trying to use that as an excuse for bailing on a DND game to Mike in s4... Dude would have gasped in disgust. And so Mike's attempt at trying to be honest with Will in s3, by telling him that the real reason they don't want to play is because they're just 'not in the mood', is a crock of shit, seeing as Mike himself wouldn't have even been willing to take that as an excuse less than a year later.

Honestly, I think in that moment at the pep-rally, Mike was thinking something along the lines how Lucas was ruining the party for being more interested in being popular (aka growing up) than he was in playing d&d anymore (games), which is reflected in their costumes, with Lucas rocking the bball jersey throughout the day followed by sitting with the team at lunch, in contrast to Dustin and Mike sitting at the table with the club in their hellfire shirts. So in thinking that, Mike's instantly being reminded that he's not all that different from Will, and so now he's wondering why he feels the way Will did, only to push it down and put back on his face of annoyance. What this back and forth shift tells me is that Mike is stubborn (not new) and is evidently not willing to face what him switching up in such a short time, and under these specific circumstances (Will and El being gone), could possibly mean.

I do think that Lucas likes basketball. I mean it's not like he's going to hate it in s5 just because of his experience with Jason. It's likely it's going to be a sort of bittersweet thing, where he wants to appreciate the moments he enjoyed, but feels like he can't because it's been spoiled by everything that went down. Maybe he'll even feel like he's sort of betraying the party by wanting to keep playing in some capacity or something.

Which would be kind of stupid tbh, because we all know that a person should be able to have other interests outside of what they specialize in with their core friend group.

I would like for Dustin and/or Mike to have a conversation about the whole thing, like how despite everything that happened they shouldn't have blown off Lucas' game like that. Like he literally made the winning shot. That's something to be proud of. That's the kind of thing you want your close friends to experience with you.

I do think that despite the show's message of going against conformity, there's also an aspect of it that they need to explore, which is that there is a happy medium.

Yes, you should be able to enjoy what you like and how often times that might look like embracing being seen as an outcast/different, but you should also be able to enjoy things that are seen as overrated/cliche/normal without it being the end of the world.

Like, you don't need to be Eddie, insisting that you're against conformity at all levels, to the point where you assume anyone that merely enjoys things that fall in line with being seen as 'normal' means that they're against you or something.

And you also don't need to be so scared of stepping out of the line of normal, to the point where you live an inauthentic life out of fear of not fitting in.

There is a balance.

Dustin and Mike didn't have to get along with the popular crowd if they didn't want to or maybe they could have at least tried at first to see how it went. Or they could have just gone to Lucas' game and cheered him on anyways as his friends. If Lucas wants to have other friends and still hang out with the og party too, then he should be able to.

I feel like a lot of us go through that when we're really young, where it takes time to let go of those expectations and constraints we put on ourselves growing up and we eventually just let all of that go by the end of high school.

And I do think some people find themselves craving one side more than the other because this is usually after years of being stuck on the opposite side as a result of pressure put onto you (or maybe because it wasn't even in your control to begin with).

This also kind of reminds me of the difference between El vs. Will (or Mike) and how being different makes them feel.

El doesn't want to be known for being different aka being a superhero and that's because she's spent her whole life living and breathing that experience only, against her will, while Will (and Mike) have been so used to trying to be as normal as possible their whole lives, they want someone to tell them it's okay to be different.

El should be capable of embracing her powers, while also wanting to explore a life that entails normal everyday things she missed out on. Will (and Mike) should be able to embrace aspects of themselves they'd been hiding for so long (their queerness), while also accepting that normal for them doesn't have to always mean being less of who you are.

I think in order for Mike to evolve, he needs to accept that him blocking out the truth is causing him to behave in ways that go against what we've seen is his true self. We saw him go from trying to be someone he's not in s3, back to his true self in s4, only to, in that same season, revert back to being someone he's not. And we know why. So it's going to take him acknowledging that and accepting it and also realizing that accepting it doesn't necessarily mean having to overcompensate by rejecting anything and everything that on the surface seems like a threat to what makes him different. It's really just about accepting himself and being sure of who he is so that he has the confidence to live a life that is authentically him. Because when he does that, then it wont matter what anyone else is doing or what they think.

I think in order for Lucas to evolve, he needs genuine support from others around him, which will require work on their part, in a way that acknowledges why Lucas felt pressure to be more accepted (we all have our reasons, some more than others). Unlike Mike, I think Lucas playing along with treating d&d like a joke in s3, then being followed by a continuation in s4 of him again putting d&d on the back-burner, is showing that he is consistently striving for this idea something outside of a life of otherness. Does that mean he doesn't like d&d anymore? I don't think so. It means that there needs to be clarity on things from his side, and why his situation was much different from the others. Do I think Lucas' experience as a Black kid in a small town in the 80's is going to be something explored thoroughly in s5? No, probably not. I also wouldn't want that to be the main focus of his arc at the end of the story though either because the whole point of his arc is that he doesn't want what has always defined his otherness to get in the way of every aspect of his life. His arc does feel like someone who has been trapped in his otherness in a way that is outside of his control. And so having the ability to live life in the way he wants, in some cases to manage what comes with experiencing racism, but in more ways that embrace who he is regardless of the world around him, is something that I think is important for him to close off his arc in a way that is satisfying.

And I do think that given the message of the show, they have a responsibility to explore what accepting yourself looks like for all of these characters. And that includes Lucas and Max and Dustin and all of the other main characters that weren't mentioned in that David interview referring to the OGs getting their happy endings. With a 2 1/2 hour finale and apparently a 30 minute ending sequence covering all of those endings, I'm expecting something vaguely along those lines.

[ahappydnp]

here is a collection of unorganized thoughts i had about the ian interview with anthony in relation to dnp’s working relationship

smosh talking about being best friends who ended up being business partners and then roommates and how bad it was and how they were passive aggressive with each other because they couldn’t fight bc they had to be best friends for youtube 

at first i immediately got sad hearing it but also i do think there’s a slight difference in how smosh interacted, especially them saying they never ever talked about feelings or emotions and their relationship was always surface level anyway

as opposed to dnp who’s dynamic/relationship is inherently more emotion based and vulnerable so talking about what’s upsetting them is going to come more naturally when it comes to the business side

but obviously that kind of relationship in any context is going to be INTENSE and hard to maintain when your lives are that intertwined

anthony talking about growing up individually and then feeling like they had to regress back into their 17 year old selves when they did hang out (“all we did when we hung out was play mario kart and talk about what we were doing”) 

also something that made me slightly sad for a second, especially remembering dan’s whole thing about phil pulling him back and the jokes about regressing bc he’s back on youtube blah blah blah it’s not refined or representative of his growth (which i hope he’s dealing with that whole mindset please dear god) 

but also dnp have grown individually and as a duo and i think they’ve given each other the space to do so while also having the front row seat to that growth that smosh didn’t? 

them saying the new content is NOT going to be nostalgia base and they’re not going to revert back to their old personas is actually really interesting and i wonder what that’s going to look like.

it makes me think about how dan and phil would approach consistent joint content again pcou, especially given the ~vibe~ of the last few videos together (mostly thinking about the 2022 texting video that felt...off a bit? which is so rare for dnp). it’s gotta be hard to not slip back into those old roles especially when being on camera together again is still novel 

ian and anthony talking about how the audience shaped their friendship in their peak and how they tried to play into the characters the fans made for them and it caused resentment/ anthony said being the ‘hot one’ and ian being the ‘funny one’ upset him a lot because it made him question his value. i find that whole section fascinating because i think that’s one thing dnp held onto? like they didn’t let the audience decide their dynamic or personalities 

but dnp also had the added element of more intimate outlets like liveshows where we got to see natural dynamics or even gaming channel stuff while smosh only really did scripted sketch stuff, so the audience got to see a more well rounded version of dnp and not just like....TATINOF stage personas

also and idk how to say this articulately....dnp also were actively hiding a part of themselves and working against audience perspective so they’re less susceptible to succumb to being their personas off camera with each other (especially going back to the first point of their relationship being more complex emotionally than the 2 cishet dudes who said they didn’t share feelings for the first 20 years of their friendship)

smosh talking about their work styles and creative processes and how they mesh well together which i would LOVE to hear more about that from dnp in how they come up with ideas or the details of their process together ESPECIALLY now 

tbh i was never a smosh fan for a variety of reasons and i’ve never been fond of anthony but i appreciate what smosh meant to a lot of people and how big of a win this is for youtube creators in general. it is interesting to hear them talk about this new era and how excited they are for the future of the channel 

maybe other people will have a chat about what a revamped version of a beloved channel that was also a fun project for them could look like, especially without the pressure of making money off of it

please dnp i will buy yet another fucking channel membership off you 

[klein3ngl]

Hello :D do you have any p1 Dude headcanons?

hi hi.

oh boy, I thought I had a few, but after I sat down to write them just realized I might have a bit too much more than what I’ve expected, haha.

POSTAL 1 DUDE; headcanons

first of all! some headcanons make reference of how he was before the first game, so trying to apply them to the guy who’s terrified, sitting on the floor while hugging his gun would be pretty useless

also, if instead of a hyphen there’s a star it’s to address DID in Dude (I don’t have DID myself and I’m not close to somebody who has DID, all I know is from research I’ve done myself, so if there’s something wrong please tell me.

if you’re not into the DID idea just ignore the stars.

anyway, here we go:

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

— Before what happened in 1997 I think he was still a disaster, but a bit more functional.

I’m not gonna dig a lot into how he was while growing up, but he’s an only child that comes from a christian yet dysfunctional family, so after he finally had enough saved money and the legal age he moved to another city (not Paradise) to start again and never looked back, probably with a bit of help coming from Uncle Dave, the only family member that cared about him.

★ P2’s been with him since he was a kid/pre-teen. P1 doesn’t really knows who or what P2 is and at first is pretty much afraid, thinking he’s a demon of some kind. But after a while and seeing how he stands up for him (when he’s unable to defend himself, make friends, etc) and he’s not really trying to harm him he relaxes for a bit.

— He’s always been pretty much a loner, but not to the point to isolate himself completely. He had a tiny group of friends who were also as “weird” as he was who were also into the alternative/goth subculture. Those were probably the best years of his life.

But still, following the last point, I also think he’s one of those people that when they feel bad they isolate themselves for some time and then come back like nothing happened. It usually worked, until it didn’t.

— I have no idea of where I readed I don’t know if it was the Wiki, TV Tropes, in a reddit comment or somewhere else but I think that during the development of “Postal” the Postal Dude was around 27 years old. I don’t know if it’s true, but I’ll go with that.

And, to add some more flavor, I don’t remember if it was Tumblr or Reddit, but somebody had the headcanon that the 14 of November, the day the first game begins, it’s also the Postal Dude’s birthday.

I can’t remember who had such a good idea but I love it way too much, I love angst with all my heart so now it’s my headcanon too.

(if I see the original headcanon again I’ll give credits to the person)

— [ tw // mentions of drugs ] Definitely smokes both cigarettes and weed, but the last one just from time to time. Has tried acid or mushrooms but rather stick to weed.

He hasn’t done crack or anything too heavy, not before 1997.

— He has little to no idea of how to cook. He can do some basic stuff to survive, and he has tried following a recipe in the past, but it’s definitely not his best . Not like he enjoys it either.

— His body: pretty tall. He has a bit of a complex with his height, finding clothes of his size can be complicated and it’s a bit awkward too.

His body is a bit built (he does some work out because of the idea that somebody can attack him at any moment is enough to make him try to learn some self defense alone in his room). Compared to P2 he's has more corporal mass, but not as much as P3 would have. He's an in between. Not skinny but not fat either.

He’s also pretty pale. Not because he can’t get tanned or anything, but because he would rather go out when the sun is already setting or during night or, in general, prefers to stay at his house.

In general he’s one of those people you see on the street and catch your attention: it’s not always that you see a really tall guy with long ginger hair.

— He doesn’t cut his hair because he likes how it looks on him but also because he’s too lazy (and anxious) to go to a hairdresser. He sometimes cuts it himself, and since he has no idea there have been times it ends up disastrous, but since I think his hair is a bit wavy it doesn’t look really bad.

He also doesn’t maintains it really well, he only uses shampoo and, maybe, one of those 3 in one bottles and that’s all. If it’s really cold he dries it with the hairdryer, but rarely does so.

— His handwriting is HORRIBLE. Not like if it’s like hieroglyphics, you can read it, but it’s just really ugly (the diary/war journal entries is how he writes, but since he was pretty stressed and scared it’s a bit more agitated). Also makes too much pressure, not to the point of ripping of the paper but you can feel it on the other face of the sheet surface if you brush it with your hand.

Likes to write for himself, it’s therapeutic and the best way to cope, the less harmful to himself too.

— Following the last point he also likes to make some doodles, especially when bored. Nothing too serious though, the typical thing you do when you’re in class bored and you only have a pen in hand and a paper. You’ll see plenty of them that decorate his notes and diaries. They’re a bit chaotic, his traces being a bit messy.

— If he was accepted in RWS he might have some knowledge about the videogame industry or related. Not sure of what, probably graduated in some studies about it. Maybe a programmer? I dunno.

— Definitely neurodivergent. Either autistic or ADHD. Or both.

His main interests being weapons, movies and videogames. Predilect genres? Terror and horror. He’s not much of a reader though.

On a side note, easily overwhelmed with people he’s not close with touching him (or in general, he’s not opposed to it but would rather if the other person asked for permission) and large crowds, and the main reason he wears he started wearing sunglasses it’s because sensitivity to bright lights.

Still, he’s undiagnosed so he has no clue why he’s like that and why can’t he be normal, sometimes thinking he’s a bit dramatic. His group of friends also had other neurodivergent people who he could rely on so he didn’t feel that bad after all.

— He hated going to clubs for that same reason, even the more alt ones. Too much noise and people. He probably went there because of his friends and enjoyed it for a little while, but would’ve rather been doing anything else.

★ P2 liked it more than him, so when they made plans with their friends he was the one who was in control most part of the time.

— He’s the kind of person that I think would listen to pretty much everything, but definitely his favorite genre is hard rock and metal and its sub-genres: goth metal, black metal, grunge, industrial, you name it. Maybe nu metal it’s not really his thing.

Still, he jams pretty much everything so you could catch him singing a Spicegirls song and he would deny it with his life.

★ It’s in fact P2 who prefers nu metal and wouldn’t care what he’s listening to. Would probably tease P1 about it though.

P2: “You’re listening to Madonna? I thought you didn’t liked pop”

P1: “...shut it”

p2: “Whatever you say edgelord… "LIKE A VIRGIN JUST, LIKE THE VERY FIRST TIME- ♪"”

— He’s bisexual, but still in the closet and pretty deep in there. He has done a few things with other guys but nothing too serious or further than making out probably. Partly because he has some internalized homophobia from the family he comes from (in himself! would never judge or care is one of his close ones was in the queer community) and because generally he sucks at dating.

★ Again, P2 is more open about it than him, and probably the one who had those interactions with other guys, but since P1 was not really uncomfortable with the subject he never went too far.

P2 tried to talk to him about it, but P1 just refuses.

— Also, how did I forgot to mention this? Religious trauma.

Now, he has a weird relationship with his christianity and beliefs, his morals, and how he views himself since he was teached to be a good christian, and he kinda wants to be good at the eyes of God, but at the same time he’s into too many stuff his parents told him they were satanic and bad. He has mixed emotions about it, it’s like he wants to let it go, but he’s unable to do so.

To him the cross he carries around his neck is not for the aesthetic, but he’s not because he’s a good christian either. And when he’s feeling at his worst? It’s like a dog collar, reminding him how all the trauma his family beliefs have harmed him, but at the same time he cannot let it go for some reason. It’s like an abusive relationship both with himself and with his religion, if he even believes in it. It’s complicated to understand? He’s just as confused as you are.

Maybe the problem it’s not the religion itself, maybe it was his family and now because of them he can’t really feel comfortable praying (even if he sometimes finds himself doing so on the nights of rough days) or having a normal relationship with his christianity. Whatever it is, he’s traumatized.

★ And P2 doesn't helps either. He just does not cares about it and when he sees P1 having a breakdown about it, knowing how hard the subject is for him, just prefers to not to get involved, because, anyways, what can he do to help him? He just does not know either, it’s something he has to resolve himself. He cannot help him in everything.

P1 sometimes has called P2 a demon during his attacks, and even if he just ignores it it’s true that it can get annoying after all the times he has tried to help him, and every time they had a fight about it P1 ended up worse, so P2 decided to not get involved any more time for that too.

— I think he’s both shy and introverted, but don’t misinterpret me; not shy in a cute bean who gets all nervous and blushy. No. More in the staring at the person like if he was a deer in front of the lights of a car type of shyness, trying not to get too nervous, and after a few seconds he responds to whatever that person said or asked, hoping it wasn’t too cringy or awkward. He usually gets like that when he’s interested in a person (doesn’t matter if it’s platonic or romantic) and doesn’t want them to get weirded out by him

More introverted than shy, that’s for sure.

— If he’s having a good day his neutral face just looks tired, in his worst I doubt anybody would be able to get to see him because in those days he locks himself in his house and refuses to go out, but if it’s the case (probably the clerk of a shop because he ran out of food) it’s a mix of anger and fear (mainly due paranoia and hallucinations, trying to put and angry face to make the others don’t bother him).

— He could be INFJ (Ni Fe Ti Se) or INTJ (Ni Te Fi Se). If that was the case I think it would be due to Se grip.

I could go more into details because I really enjoy MBTI and see how its functions work on fictional characters.

★ Not the same as P2 of course, but that's a story for another day.

— Pretty much stoic, but on the inside? A mess of emotions he does not know how to untangle correctly. He can get emotional when he’s alone, but that’s a part nobody would ever see of him. He’s not going to let anybody see him in such a vulnerable and weak state.

— Now, returning to the main point. I could really go into details of what or why I think it could have happened for him to literally go postal, but I think the main point is that he moved to Paradise trying to escape from his life. And you may ask “but you said those were the happiest years of his life!” yep, completely, but there can be a few things that alone could have been bad but tolerable, but too many of them make them unbearable: maybe he distanced himself from his friends, had to move somewhere cheaper because of money, his mental health going downhill, etc.

The thing is, he moved to Paradise, and it was probably his worst mistake.

Uncle Dave lived there, that’s why he chose that city, but even with that he had almost no contact with him besides the first few days? He was on his own, alone again.

— Ironically, I think he actually worked for a post office. It’s the only job he could find.

— Both his physical and mental state got way worse. He’s never been a really healthy person, but still tried to take care of himself at least a bit. Going out only when heavily necessary and, after a while, not even going to work anymore. That's when he really ran out of money and got the terrifying letter: he got evicted of his “safe place”. Was his house even a safe place at this point? He couldn’t feel safe anywhere anymore.

He could have called Uncle Dave, but at this point? He was just so disconnected with reality he didn’t know what to do.

★ P2 saw him fall and had no idea of what to do at this point. He was tired of trying to help him so he just ignored. P1 felt so bad that, even if he find P2 annoying at times it was the last thing he needed, the last familiar thing he had disappeared hurts him to the core.

— [ tw // mentions of self-harm ] Even if writing in his journal really helped him to calm down during bad days it doesn’t mean he didn’t do other more harmful things to himself when he was at his worst. Before moving to Paradise he handled it better, he was able to tone it down pretty much since he moved from his parent’s house, but after everything got so overwhelming again? He doesn’t know any better. And the worst part of it? Finds it both comforting and thinks that he deserves all this suffering. For everything. For moving away from his parents, maybe they were right after all. For being a bad christian, God, if he hasn’t done it already, would probably turn his back the day he has to pass Heaven's gates. For after being so happy and having friends and thinking he was getting better and how he throwed all out the windows. It’s all his fault, and he knows it, but he can’t bring himself to do anything, not even therapy, and cannot call his friends. Nothing. The world’s still going on without him. He just feels like when he was a kid, but worse.

★ And here’s where he appears: the Other Dude (to me not the same as P3). He’s shows him his most intrusive thoughts, those who make him feel sick. OD slowly persuaded him to do horrible things not to himself, but the others. He’s twisted and manipulated everything, every little hope he had. P1 confused P2 with OD at this point, and was the one who made P1 get out of his house after a really long time, but with a gun in his hand, ready to kill everybody who made him feel so miserable and worthless. At this point he’s just gone.

At first, ironically, P2 tried to get in the middle of it, a bit confused of what or who OD was. Why he was so similar to himself? How long has he been there? But even OD persuaded him at some point.

Both P1 and P2 were tired of the way they were living and feeling. So why not change it?

I’m not sure who’s the one who got out of the house ready to cause a massacre, if P1, P2 or OD, but the thing is they all agreed at some point.

— I know this is going to be a bit weird, but I don’t think the whole game stages are real? It sounds weird, but let me explain: you really think a guy who has been locked inside his house for so long, having horrible hallucinations, almost no sleep (and if he had any, probably full of nightmares), not taking care of himself is really going to go too far? It does not matter how many weapons he may carry, it’s practically impossible.

Maybe the first 2 or 3 stages, but not much more before the police/militars/whoever it was got him at some point. The others only happened in his head, his mind going ahead of him, overthinking, and lately, his guilt getting over him.

By this I’m not saying he’s less of a horrible person, he did what he did and it’s sickening, it does not matter how bad he was feeling, killing people who have nothing to do with you and your problems is not the answer. Even if they were the cause, it’s not the solution.

— Leaving aside that all the “Postal” games are usually a parodies of real life and black humor (asides from the first game and “Postal Redux”) and taking it for something more serious, I don’t think “Postal Dude” it’s the name of the Postal Dude.

It was a nickname given both by the survivors of the massacre and the media.

— Also, after what he did he was everywhere. In the newspapers, in the TV, in the radio. That’s how Uncle Dave and the group of friends he had back in the city he lived before found out. But how could he? He was such a nice, quiet guy… he wouldn’t hurt a fly!

His group of friends, who since he moved without saying anything, didn’t pick up their calls and in general ignored them and decided it was for the best to just let it be.

Uncle Dave, on the other side he was worried. What the hell happened during all those years they were separated? It couldn’t be something he decided overnight, there had to be something more, right?

— He got his hair shaved at the asylum. After that he didn’t had it that long in his whole life.

— He got locked in the asylum, and being locked in there, alone again with his thoughts, it was dead of him. Metaphorically speaking.

★ P1 went dormant, refusing to think of what he has done, or at least accepted to do. He couldn't take all that blame, it was impossible. Every time he remembers it he wants to puke. He now really want to be dead. There’s no way he can redeem himself from that, God definitely has abandoned him. OD also disappeared. He just provoked all of this and now what? He accomplished what he wanted, where is he? He bring out the worst part of P1, was he trying to corrupt him and breaking him was not in the plan or was the plan breaking him from the start?

Whatever it was left P2 alone, also feeling guilty of what he has done. He does not feel as bad as P1 but he also cannot feel happy as OD probably feels. What they’ve done it’s horrible, but how OD manipulated them to do it? Even worse. Even for P2 whose morality is more gray-ish than P1s.

He hates it, he’s locked in there with the hallucinations and barely speaks to P1 because he’s completely broken and refuses to do so. Now it’s the other way around. He’s growing resentful to him too for that, they’re both cupid, can he at least make him some company? Like he did when P1 was a child too? It’s unfair.

He has something clear though: if OD ever shows his ass again he will NOT let get on him like he did. And even if he’s annoyed at P1, not even him.

— After some time Uncle Dave brings himself to visit him. At first it was so grim. Dude felt so horrible for his actions he couldn’t bring himself to even look at him, but after some more visits, therapy and meds he started to light up a really tiny bit. It was something.

★ It was not really him, P1 was pretty much not wanting to know anything from the external world, it was P2 who decided to take the lead. P1 didn’t wanted to live anymore? Fine, he would take his chance then. To live the life he never could since he’s always been on P1 mind, rarely being the one in control.

Maybe he was pretending, or maybe he genuinely wanted to get better, but the thing was: he wanted to get out of there, if there was a chance to do so, he would try it. At first do what the workers said, and if that didn’t work he would escape. He does not care. He wants to try to live.

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

okay I got a bit too carried away- I’m sorry-

hope you liked them! I’m not really skilled nor do I have practice when it comes to creating headcanons about characters even if I have a few ideas.

I’m thinking about posting a few more in a future,, but school work is killing me-

[femmeroi]

You SHOULD talk about Manjoume Jun's queerness, he's an icon and that's an essay I'd love to read

I SHOULD !!! Jun is my (4th) favourite nasty dude hes so hes so hes o so so so. His gender game is so immaculate and he is only maybe a he/they on a good day. He’s playing 5d gender chess in a uno world. He has so many layers even he isn’t ready to pull them all back yet. His he/him pronouns are an unanswered prayer. He pays child support for masculine terms, they're all he has left after the divorce. I think he always has one foot in the closet, I don’t think he ever really got over his brother's abuse, and if he didn't have friends like Fubuki he’d never accept himself. Even when he accepts himself it's in a very limited way. He's flamboyant, he's unapologetic, he's afraid. To ME he is a nonbinary trans woman gay man, he's a faggot woman, and I think that's beautiful. 

GX as a whole can be read in a very queer way when you consider the ties between familial relationships, duel spirit relationships, and personal acceptance. This tie is most obvious in Jun, who has a solid and obvious arc centering these three aspects. Even then, I feel like people often misinterpret or waterdown his. Everything.

Under the read more is a very long breakdown of my thoughts. If something doesn't make sense, sorry, I have divine madness and a fever.

I’m going to start off with his family, everyone knows them, everyone hates them, and everyone misunderstands them. People often fall into the belief that after his duel with Chosaku, Jun obtained some kind of absolute freedom from his family, often even saying he cut them off. I don’t believe this is entirely correct or incorrect, it’s a belief that's in the right direction while missing the nuance of his situation. Jun’s familial arc isn't about severing ties or escaping abusive structures, it’s about easing the pain by gaining respect. Jun still has a role within the Manjoume Group after his duel with Chosaku, the difference is that after their duel he got their trust. It’s with that trust he got a semblance of freedom, and I believe people often conflate that freedom with absolute liberation.

Jun still works for his family, he is still under their influence, they are just more hands off about it now than before. I say this because his role in the Manjoume Group clearly means a lot to Jun, this is seen through his displays of wealth and his insistence to be called “Manjoume” long after everyone is on a first name basis. He's even seen using the Manjoume Groups money and name to renovate facilities within the school, and if you think that's something an estranged family would allow I have. Serious questions. Like what's your estranged parents credit card number. His connection to the Manjoume Group is only reinforced in season four, where his intention isn’t to get away from his family rather it is to prove himself worthy to his family. His role in the Manjoume Group is also recognized by other characters, which shows that even publicly he is affiliated with them.

All that said, Jun’s brothers are still extremely controlling and abusive people. My dearest mutual (also the very person to send the ask. Hi friend <3) Ren Krakenshaped said one of the minor themes of GX is, “[The] negative influences in your childhood [and how they] can affect you liberating yourself from those negative influences.” I absolutely love the way they worded it and I can’t agree more. I’m putting this here not just to hype her up but also to expand on it in relation to Jun. While I believe Jun's familial arc isn't about absolute liberation, he still gets a semblance of freedom as I mentioned before. He's able to use the cards he wants and he has less pressure to be absolutely perfect, but he still acts as a representative for his family.

The pressure he's under is still present, showing itself in a lesser way through his self-deprecating comments, inferiority complex, and his fear of failure. I think it's important for people to recognize the presence and control that the Manjoume Group still has on him even after his moment of “liberation” against Chosaku. Not everyone can and not everyone will escape the negative influences in their life. There's a lot that can be done with the balance Jun has achieved with his family, but he still does have to play by their rules. 

Now that I got the familial situation outlined, it’s time to talk about his duel spirits ! And I promise I WILL bring this all around to his queerness. I prommy. Hold on with me for another couple hundred words. Unlike Johan, Yusuke, and Judai, Jun didn't have some innate connection to duel spirits. His ability to see and interact with the spirits appeared later in life, more specifically during the worst part of his life up to that point. Jun was under pressure to be the perfect child, and then he got demoted from the Obelisk Blue dorms, and then he got stranded at sea, and then his deck got stolen. And at some point in all of that, he started seeing duel spirits.

I think two things were integral to his awakening, the first was his need to grow as a duelist, and the second was isolation. His need for growth comes from him failing to live up to his family's name, but the growth itself happens when his family is absent. After getting stranded at sea, Jun had no line of communication with his brothers, and he didn’t regain communication with them until he went back to the Central Duel Academia campus. On top of that the people in North Academy seem not to know- or care in case of the headmaster- about Jun’s family name. With this Jun is temporarily freed from the expectations his family and peers place onto him- and instead he is able to focus on growing in his own way. It’s at the North Academy Jun is able to solidify his persona, and it’s at the North Academy he is able to start building his own deck instead of using whatever his family provides.

His individualism and desperation leads him to Ojama Yellow, his need to keep his family life and dueling life separate leads him to the other two Ojama brothers, and his first steps in the professional field created the card Pride Shout. His growth as a duelist, and his relationship with his spirit partners, is linked to the distance he has from his family. His communication with duel spirits, while a physical reality in the show, also functions as a device to show Juns road to self actualization as he comes to terms with his own identity.

And then we get to the actual treatment of his duel spirits. It's made clear through the anime that he does like his duel spirits, and that they know it. He has several decks, not because he's some great duelist like Daichi, but because he cares for the spirits attached to them. And if a card has no purpose he will make them one- either through strategy or by making a whole new card out of pure will.

Despite all this, hes a fucking asshole to his duel spirits. He writes on their cards, he yells at them, he hits them, he throws them in the dirt. While a lot of this behavior is easy to write off as “typical tsundere Jun” or as a gag, I can't help but wonder what's so different between Fubuki, for example, and Ojama Yellow. They're both flamboyant, loud, and annoying. Maybe it's because Ojama Yellow is pathetic. Then what's the difference between Fubuki and the Dark Scorpions ? As a duelist, the decks function as an extension of his character, and his fate more often than not relies on their performance. All things considered, he should be treating them with respect.

I think, specifically for his deck, his distaste comes from the fact that they are an extension of him. Not because he has a horrifying inferiority complex, but because the spirits then function as a part of his identity that he can not control. He can choose the cards in his deck, for the most part, but he can not make the cards act in any specific way. And I don't necessarily think he wants to control how the spirits act, instead he happened to meet them during a time he had no semblance of control after spending years of his life curating a very specific image for himself and he had a hard time coping with the fact that everything he worked for may very well disappear soon if he doesnt start acting in a specific way once again. This is also why he starts being nicer to his cards in season four, the moment he gets his identity back, the moment he has a direction in life, he calls Ojama Yellow his ace. Love !

So like. Why did I say all of that ? Well, I feel like outlining how his familial relationship actually works and how he manages things like duel spirits is really important to understanding how he’d approach a queer identity- and thanks to bandit Keith homophobia is ambiguously cannon and I’m going to accept all the baggage that comes with. I see a lot of queer readings of Jun’s journey begin and end with Chosaku’s duel, or be reduced to “well the card's name is Pride Shout.” And that’s. Not it. To me, Jun’s queer journey never did begin. Not on the outside at least. The duality between his flashy attire and self image issues, the contrast between his free going deck and his need to uphold the family name, the lingering control that the Manjoume group has on him through Chosaku and through public perception, it all just feels so closeted to me. I love that Jun was able to find a part of himself, but he was never able to fully embrace it out of shame until the very last duel of his. I love how he holds onto fear even after that moment. I love how much Jun does without actually doing, I love how he found a way to be himself despite living under his family's expectations, I love how genuinely stifling it is for him, I love how he never stops trying anyway. I think his character is best served in the closet, I think he needs to leave his family, but I dont think it's that easy for him. It's really hard to grow past the negative influences in your life when you set them as your goal.

Anyway nonbinary trans woman gay man Manjoume Jun realness !

[storytellering]

if it's okay, would you mind sharing your art process? your style is SO gorgeous dude. keep it up spardacest nation!!!

Thank you so much anon, and of course! I kinda posted about it on twitter a while ago, but for anyone not also on there, here's a paraphrasing of what I said there! (under a cut bc it's gonna get a bit long)

(speedpaint video from procreate mostly bc like I also said in that post, it's one of the few pieces I've done entirely on procreate and thus entirely recorded kdfjhdk I usually don't do the sketching + painting parts on there but every now and then I get lazy and want to get it all done quick in one program lol! It's not as good as it would look if I were using krita to render (which is what I normally use) but it gets the idea across decently of what it is that I do)

The short version of my process is: sketch, clean up sketch for lineart, then flat colors, then paint over the flats (i make the flats my shadows and paint on the light), then a multiply layer for skin details (like lips, eyebags, etc), then an overlay layer for skin transparency details (red over the ears/nose/fingertips etc), then i do hair over the lineart, then a multiply layer with the contact shadows in a light beige/grey/neutral tone on top of everything else, and then i unify layers, paint over the details, and color correct the HELL out of it The longer version is: SO, first of all, I will say, my entire process for a finished/fully redered piece is pretty scattered and uses a lot of different apps, because after many years of trying out different drawing apps I found that I just worked better when I could incorporate the parts I liked best from each individual one rather than having to adapt to another app entirely! In total, what I use is: autodesk sketchbook and procreate for the first half I do on my ipad, then krita and photoshop on my computer when I'm actually rendering (but any photo editing app instead of ps will do, I'm just used to photoshop bc that's what I learned as my first drawing app WAAAY back in the day lol), and then meitu on my phone for color filters (also any phone editing app with filters in it will do), AND also optional just for references: blender and daz3d on computer + magicposer on my phone The actual step by step of what I do: First of all, if I want to do a detailed, well rendered piece I will start by getting my references ready. That means either just grabbing a screenshot from the game if it's like, a simple portrait, or a photo reference, taking a picture of myself in the right pose/lighting, and if it's something more complex I will recreate the scene in Daz3D to simulate a realistic lighting, OR even just blender (i have the game models for the dmc characters downloaded, so I can just pop them in, pose them and change the lighting to get a realistic idea of what shadows their faces will cast in that specific angle/lighting.) Note: references are pretty essential to me, and there's nothing to be ashamed about for using them! Personally I don't struggle a lot with the drawing/sketching part of art, but my tiny little pea brain cannot fathom how to make an object 3D in my mind, and how to visualize shadows realistically... thus the reliance on 3D programs to do that for me, and then all I have to do is draw what I'm seeing lol. My art improved significantly ever since I started making 3D refs so I could get /exactly/ what I needed - there's still a lot of leeway you need to learn though, because as realistic as the lighting will be in a rendering program, you'll never really get a fully natural looking image, as far as stuff like the body stretching/squishing/pulling when it's in movement, facial expressions, folds in clothing/fabric, etc... so really it's more a guide than something meant to be followed 1:1.

Then, once I'm confident I know exactly what I'm gonna draw/have the idea in my head, I start sketching it in sketchbook. Not really getting very in depth, just blocking out rough shapes - I like sketchbook and to be on my ipad for that because it feels very reminiscent of traditional sketching on paper to me, which while I'm not super confident on my traditional art abilities, I do get the most natural/fluid/non-stiff figures out that way. Then when I think I have the general idea ready, I export the sketch layer as a png and import it into procreate - which is where I kinda start picking at the sketch and polishing it like i'm carving it out haha. Lots of liquify tool, flipping the canvas to check if it's even, blending out some of the lineart to help out with the rendering later, and then polishing up what was once the sketch into serviceable lineart. I usually reimport it back into sketchbook at this stage - while I like procreate for drawing I don't love the brushes I can use for lineart there, and so I usually only draw the "base" naked figure in there - when I'm in sketchbook I use a hard pencil to refine the details, then on a separate layer add all the things "on top" like hair, clothing, etc - usually I can get it pretty easily in one go, and once I'm satisfied I erase the naked body under the clothes and unify the lineart layers. Then I will just do the flats with a hard brush, turning the lineart layer into an overlay layer and coloring things in with the shadow colors. At this point, I export the file as a psd and import it on my computer - I give it a once over in photoshop first to see if there needs to be any adjusting (like whether any layer that has an effect needs to have a different effect, if all the colors look right since the ipad screen isn't the most faithful, if i wanna change the background color, etc), and once I think it's ready enough, I open it up in krita, where I do the actual bulk of the painting/rendering (as to why specifically krita: it's because I've gotten very comfortable with the brush/painting brush dynamics there and cannot seem to get as good results anywhere else, it's just the goldilocks spot of a brush for me haha.) If anyone's curious, here's the brushes I usually use for painting:

The one in the middle is my go to painting brush, left one for tinier/more refined details, right one for blending out soft shadows (though I learned the hard way to not overuse it, or it will look like I went ham with an airbrush tool lol). (I don't change any of the settings on these brushes, so if you wanna try out the exact ones I use! Just fresh off how they come out the app haha) I paint on the lights on top of the shadows, and just focus on that for the time being - once I'm done with the basic painting, I'll make a separate multiply layer for details like lip color, eye waterlines, makeup if there is any, eyebags, etc, and then adjust the opacity until it feels right - then I'll make an overlay layer with skin translucency details (like, when you hold your hands in front of a light and see the tips of your fingers become bright orange - many parts of your body are always a bit translucent to the blood underneath, specifically parts where the skin is thin like noses, cheeks, joints, knuckles, etc, and I found it makes the character look a lot more alive to add that subtle coloring in) - then usually I do hair on a separate layer on top of the lineart (because that way I can add small flyaways, more details, etc, and just use the lineart as a guide) After that, I'll usually make a multiply layer on top of everything where I'll add contact shadows in a neutral color (usually pretty pale, it'll be darker anyway since it's multiply), and once I feel like I've rendered everything out properly, I save the psd and re-open it on photoshop.

In photoshop, I'll mess around with the layers a little bit more (changing hue/saturation, opacity, etc), fuck around with the background to make it look pleasing, and once I'm happy with it, I'll unify the layers and start color correcting - usually by duplicating the unified layer and messing with the curve/hsl of the image and then changing the opacity of that edited layer until it's as strong or muted as I want it to be - then I also edit the RGB curves individually and adjust the opacity of that also (because I just really like how it ends up looking if I give a bit of a red/warm tint to the shadows lol), and at that point often I will reimport the finished image into procreate for some finalizing touches! Like, blending out shadows that came out too harshly, painting over anything that came out not the way I wanted it, redefining the lineart if it got messy during painting, and adding any extra small detail that might have gotten lost like catchlights, hair shines, hair flyaways, tears, etc. I also do one last round of flipping the canvas and liquify if needed! At this point, I export the finished image both to my computer and my phone - on my phone I open it up on the photo editing app, and add a bunch of different color filters - I don't hesitate from going completely balls to the walls here, and just kinda applying as many filters as will make an image look pleasing to my eye. Once I think it looks good, I'll export the edited image to my computer - and then open both the version without filters and the one with them on photoshop, and use the filtered version as an opacity layer, and adjust it until it doesn't look as crazy anymore lol. One last step I recently started incorporating was also changing the image to grayscale after I'm done, and doing one last round of curves in greyscale to make sure the values look right, and nothing is getting too lost because the values are too similar (because i know i get a bit swept up in getting repulsed by harsh contrasting lighting and can end up washing out all of rendering if I don't check myself kjdfgk) AND that's it! Yes it's a pretty long and chaotic process, but it's coming from years of trial and error and realizing I can just let myself fo whatever makes me happier with the results, and I don't have to stay constrained to one program if I don't like every tool it has to offer/don't have to accept the final image fresh off the painting app as the "finished" image with no adjustments allowed after, lol. I don't find it takes a lot more time than if I didn't do it this way, but YMMV. Hope this was helpful and sorry for taking so long to explain! I just wanted to give a thorough explanation dfhdkhkx

[quitefair]

From Sea to Shore: A Josephine Montilyet lore/meta project

Start reading here!

Hi, hello. I suppose introductions are in order.  

My name is Meera and I am a fan (derogatory) of Dragon Age. Have been since 2014, the moment my ears heard the Dragon Age Inquisition theme. (I’m a sucker for soundtracks, I can count on my hand the number of interests I’ve dived into solely because of the soundtrack.)

The reason I’m so fascinated with Dragon Age, as with many people on this site and beyond are, is because of the rich and complex lore that is contained within the world of Thedas. Whether it be within the games themselves, or the massive catalogue of supplemental media – books, comics, short stories published online, the massive hardcover bible of The World of Thedas, etc.

I think you can see where I’m going with this.

Dragon Age is known for… well. Not putting shit into their game. Which is arguably, the most important part of Dragon Age. Yknow. The games? Couple this with the fact that the writers are known to retcon things left right and centre… leaving fans with a, if you don’t mind my language, piss poor understanding of anything beyond surface level.

Now I’m not going to argue semantics about topics that I am clearly not qualified to talk about. I’m still learning things. So while I do read some absolutely delightful discussions on the Mage-Templar war, Tranquility, the Dalish, the Qun… I’m not qualified enough to write proper discussions on these serious and interesting topics.

Instead, I’m armed with having read too many books and watched too many shows. So, what I can do is to look at characters within Dragon Age that I have an unhealthy obsession with, and try to make sense of their stories.

And guess who I’ve decided to start talking about first?

[source]

I’m gonna start off by mentioning that I haven’t done anything like this before. My only credentials are having been unhealthily obsessed with this game franchise for coming onto 9 years now, and owning The World of Thedas 2. Which I haven’t read in its entirety. (Bioware please… put your motherfucking lore in your games, im beggin…) But I have been researching a lot of things recently while planning a frankly quite complicated Dragon Age fic, and after reading a lot of very well written meta on tumblr, and also realizing I enjoy writing my own, I thought I’d take a stab at it myself.

One of the main things I’ve been researching is Josephine and her backstory. On a surface level, it is easy to love her. She’s kind and sweet and absolutely adorable. Her romance fuels my entire existence. She is my Wife and I love her character to the ends of the earth.

But as with a lot of the characters newly introduced in Inquisition, she suffers from a scattered plot, a very superficial stance in the political scheme of things (despite being the political ambassador of Inquisition??? hello???), and is often reduced to several one-dimensional tropes that grate on my nerves.

I’m not discrediting people who enjoy her character as it is. Hell, I spent years loving her story as it is. But I am doing this as an aspiring writer and lover of stories, and a lover of complex, nuanced characters. I see Josephine as a character, much like many others in Dragon Age, who has so much potential to be more. I also see her story in the base game as being quite solid in itself, but is presented in a very scattered, messy way, that you as a player character, might not understand the full impact of.

This series is going to be equal parts laying down the lore of Josephine and the Montilyet family, in a way that people can easily understand and build their own meta and headcanons off, and also for me to speculate and build on my own meta that I’ve been working on. I’m not sure how many parts it’s going to be, we’ll take things as they come.

If you’ve made it this far, kudos for listening to this dude ramble for a thousand words. The real shit comes in a bit. Hope you enjoy.

(Josie in this picture is so me coded when I’m ranting in my Word document so I had to leave this here.)