#like even if i didn’t already hate cops implicitly. that is so clearly NOT what he needs???

[skywitchmaja]

so stiles manslaughters someone in self defense, has a a private nervous breakdown about it, and when he finally does tell his dad, he’s like “yep, that kinda think happens in a dangerous line of work like being the sheriff of supernatural horror town. you’ll never regain your innocence but you can even the scales by saving someone’s life”, so stiles saves several peoples lives and he’s like “yeah that felt really good but i need to do it again” and his dad says. ahem!! *clown voice* “WeLcOme to YouR NeW CarEEr in Law EnForCemEnT”

ILL be over here be MELTING STEEL BEAMS with my new LASER VISION ABOUT IT THANK YOUUUUUUU

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Death Note

I’m watching this show specifically because of that text post that said, “Watch how quickly this one guy decides to be the worst person ever” and he has killed two people in the first ten minutes

Though 2 be fair he’s killing people to save people so it’s a trolley problem kind of thing for now

“In fact I’ve been waiting for you... Ryuk” ok weird flex Light but u do u

“You’re the first one to use to this extent in five days” WAIT DID HE MURDER ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN FIVE DAYS I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST LOOKING AT A LIST OH MY GOD??

“So there isn’t a price to using Death Note?” said Light, as if killing people is just a normal thing that we all do

Fhkjfhfkjb Ryuk really went ‘u used the book so we’re friends now’ 

I was wondering why the book was in English, and I guess that makes sense British and American imperialism really Did That

“I can write down the names of criminals, and slowly reduce the number of evil people” uhhhh doesn’t u being a Book Murderer also make you a criminal Light

“Human lives shouldn’t be taken so lightly” bah dum tss

Also I guess that revelation lasted about thirty seconds for you huh

Update from 15 seconds later: Even less than that

“I would create a world of earnest, kind humans” really because I don’t think places that allow the death penalty are generally nicer societies 

It’s interesting that they use English in the classes and the notebook but the conversation at Interpol takes place in Japanese (despite the implied internationality and Ryuk’s aforementioned claim about English being most common) 

Huh I won’t lie I do think it’s confusing that the main characters are L and Light, which also starts with L

“I am justice” I mean if anything this show just proves that no one should be allowed to use the death penalty on apprehended suspects in criminal justice cases ever 

OH SHIT PLOT TWIST HIS DAD’S A COP (IT WAS IN THE TEXT POST I THINK BUT I FORGOT)

Wow this show is full of mind games already I guess I can see why like, crime show fans would dig it

“But I’m going to say this as your roommate” OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES KJHRGKJHKJHG

Interesting that someone is following Light specifically already

I mean not to poke too many holes in your plan Light but wouldn’t it clash with your plan to become God if you die at like 35 or smth 

“You’re already much more of a shinigami than they are” Ryuk said my friends are BORING I want to hang out with this MURDER TEEN

“I may not look it, but I’m pretty popular” Light is exactly the kind of guy who ends up in a true crime special where a bunch of people say he seemed like a nice, charismatic young man

Man this poor girl that Light brought on this date is going to be straight traumatized after this

I mean isn’t it MORE suspicious if someone dies around someone with direct ties to the police even if it’s not a heart attack

“You were indeed a brilliant FBI agent once, but now you’re my fiancée” kjhfkjhg WHAT FBI AGENTS CAN’T BE MARRIED 

“Once we have a family, you’ll be so busy that you’ll forget that you were an agent” I’m not a fan of Raye Penber 

What’s the point in killing Raye at all???? He told you he was part of a special investigation so clearly he’s not that suspicious of you

Light sure is bold to announce his Killing People Experiments in the middle of a busy sidewalk 

Incredible that consistently no one notices Light’s increasingly threatening declarations????

Fjkfkfhk these five cops finding out their Hail Mary is this strange little goblin man,,,, wow

This woman has really pushed Light to the brink just by giving a fake name, I admire her tenacity

Cops wearing fake IDs really did not age well oh boy

SERIOUSLY HOW DOES NO ONE EVER HEAR LIGHT SAYING SUSPICIOUS THINGS IN PUBLIC THOROUGHFARES HE LITERALLY JUST SAID “I AM KIRA” AS A DETECTIVE WALKED BY, WHILE HE WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE HE KILLED IMMEDIATELY AFTER

Wow it really took only eight episodes for L to track Light as close as one of two families

“You have a wife and daughter, right?” “I know!” I mean..... not 2 be that guy but... cops

 “To me, apples are like... Well, like cigarettes and liquor to humans” Vcvhcjhj every once in a while Ryuk says something that really tickles me

I know the word sociopath is kind of outdated but man does Light have actual interests outside of school or does he just do stuff to fill the void of his lack of interests (outside of murder)

JKHGKJHGKJHKJHG I cannot believe that this has turned into a fake classmate situation first of all 1) are you going to become friends and 2) How old are you Ryuzaki/L?

“Where is that rich kid from? And he’s even at the top of his class? What a jerk” honestly a mood

I DESPERATELY want Light’s mother or sister to overhear his evil cackling will someone finally eavesdrop on this god complex

“If I sit normally, my reasoning skills drop by 40%” weird flex but same 

Sidenote: I can’t believe how many episodes of this show I already have watched

Ngl I was VERY shook that Mr. Yagami had a heart attack. Also does Light care if his family lives or dies or is he kind of neutral on the subject? 

“If Kira is an ordinary person who gained this power, then he is a very unlucky person” Dad and L said ‘if u ARE Kira could you please stop murdering thank you <3′ 

Light really underestimated how much cops hate anyone who has killed a cop oops

OH SO IT’S NOT LIGHT I WAS WONDERING WHY HE HAD NOT MADE AN APPEARANCE THIS WHOLE EPISODE U MEAN THERE ARE TWO GUYS WITH THIS EXACT SAME IDEOLOGY AND PLAN? INCREDIBLE

Update from ten seconds later: Two people, I guess

Well this explains the girl in the short dress which serves as the Netflix thumbnail of this show I was wondering when she would show up 

Also she sounds like she’s very young? Clearly Shinigami don’t have a minimum age of informed consent when it comes to their Murder Eyes Contract 

Hahah I bet Light didn’t imagine that his petty and fucked up apple joke would bite him so quickly in the ass

Dhkjdhdkjhd Misa is so bold dropping her Death God deets in a video for anyone to see 

“The way to kill a Shinigami, is to make them fall in love with a human” does this mean that Ryuk is going to fall in love with Light or Misa? Both would make me uncomfortable

Oh wild guess Misa became a Death Note Wielder through the Power of Unreciprocated Voyeuristic Love

“Yeah, I have a girlfriend now,” said Light, after a girl contacted him through a series of anonymous video tapes implicitly vowing to be his disciple 

“No one could tell who he’s attached to if I’m with this many people” [20 seconds pass] “Found him!” HAHAHA the funniest part of this show is consistently watch Light going “got ‘em” before it immediately is revealed that he doesn’t got ‘em 

Why is Light so incredibly searchable??? I think the only way people people could find my height online is if I happened to answer it for one of those Facebook note memes in 2007 lmaoooo

“There are many places that will go and sell your personal records” ah, data breaches; a problem that has not gotten any better in the last 15 years since this anime came out

HKJHFHKJFHF Light immediately jumping into fake-dating his weird disciple in front of his mom... what is this show

“Please make me your girlfriend” OH MY GOOOOOD

This is one of the weirdest romantic dynamics I’ve seen in recent memory but you know what? Whatever, at least it’s not Anxiety and Murder

“Does that mean I’ll have to deal with her until she dies?” Light is truly exuding some Ladybird Book of Dating Energy rn: 

The fact that to kill L all Light had to do was get an obsessive girlfriend... astounding

Beautiful that it took Misa less than a week of knowing Light to ruin his whole 15 episode game plan and also life

“I think I may be Kira” Well this show keeps taking one escalation after another this is exhausting why can’t Light just be a normal person who found it, tried it out of interest in the occult, discovered he’d committed a horrible atrocity and then went to therapy for the rest of his life only to confess to Magical Murder on his deathbed while his family goes, ‘Wow, Grandpa’s crazy’

Does L not think that keeping three different people imprisoned for days on end will lead to some psychological repercussions for him

FOR WEEKS ON END????? OH MY GOD???? The fuck L, I know two of these people are murderers but there are some minimum conditions of correctional facilities and this seems a little Stanford PE

THE DRAMA OF THIS EPISODE I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE A BLANK BUT HOW FUCKED UP TO PUT EVERYONE THROUGH THIS L I THINK YOU NEED THERAPY!!!!!!! I MEAN LIGHT AND MISA ARE MURDERERS BUT FORCING A MAN TO HOLD HIS SON AT GUNPOINT AFTER IMPRISONING THEM FOR OVER A MONTH IS REALLY A REFLECTION OF A COMPLETE LACK OF EMPATHY (especially when you think that this version of Misa and Light don’t know anything!!! Oh my god!! The fuck)

“I will make arrangements so you and I are together 24 hours a day” call me crazy but I would not want to spend 24/7 with the man who imprisoned me for over a month while playing cruel psychological games all the while

“I’m one of those people who’ll accept Kira, I’d think of ways I could help him” Misa said Bimbo Rights

“I could never toy with a woman’s emotions like that” Light’s dating life and personality has gotten a LOT funnier since he forgot he was a murderer I kind of wish THIS could be the whole show 

Also: Nice to know Light USED to have standards of how to treat women

Honestly fair play to both L and Light they both deserved to be punched and it’s funny to see eighteen episodes of mind games culminate in punching and kicking each other in the face

“Matsuda’s being an idiot again” “Well, Matsuda is a natural at that” wghkjhgkj what has Matsuda done to any of you

"He’s punishing criminals as a front, and killing people for the benefit of this company” is Light unknowingly going to solve the murder chain he himself started... inspiring

“I was testing you” this is why Light is your only friend, L, Aizawa has kids and it’s a dick move to ask him to put his convictions before them

Poor Matsuda realizing he’s got the least to offer to their team... me in high school science labs 

I understand Aizawa’s moral crisis but why do NONE of these cops care about their wives or daughters they’re just kind of like, ‘I will provide for you but I have no interest in or fulfillment from being part of your life’ (ACAB)

Matsuda is truly about to die for being dumb and eager to help 😔 Rest in Pieces

“We must not allow Yotsuba to figure out that we are investigating them,” said L, just after it cut from Matsuda being obvious about investigating them. Oh Matsuda 😔 you’re so bad at your job 😔

MATSUDAAAAAAAA oh thank goodness; Bimbo Rights save the day

“I can’t go along with your idea, it’s wrong!” said Light, despite the fact it took him 15 seconds to get over murder the first couple of times he did it 

Staaaaaaaaay Good Light, I don’t want ur Deathnotesona I want this young man with moral convictions!!

The level of hubris it takes to answer a phone call during your secret Murder Meeting while people continue to talk about their Murder Plans is just out of this world

“If I die, you could probably become the successor to the ‘L‘ name,” said L, to the person he has been trying to catch for twenty episodes 

“I won’t say anything under any kind of torture” “Yes that’s true” Which he knows because he tortured her for six weeks!! You see that that’s fucked up, L, right? RIGHT??? RIIIIIIIIGHT? (LIIIIIIIGHT???)

Seriously not to beat a dead Shinigami but Light is so much better like this. He doesn’t want to throw people’s lives away for the investigation! He wants to protect Misa! He thinks Kira is wrong! Why does he have to be a murderer!!! Why can’t this show be about a nice young man!!!!

“Hey Ryuzaki, that’s messed up!” THANK YOU LIGHT AGAIN I KNOW YOU BOTH HAVE KILLED PEOPLE BUT YOU DON’T KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW SO FOR ALL MISA KNOWS HE’S JUST A GUY WHO TORTURES HER AND TELLS HER CRUSH WILL DIE IF SHE DOESN’T HELP

Wow Rem is so ride or die for Misa protecting Misa from creepy Higuchi, giving her info and telling her to trust Light, that’s love bitch

Props to Misa for getting a confession out of Higuchi after one (1) car ride 

Why do I feel like L is going to be responsible for reawakening Bad Light is it because he psychologically tortured him for six weeks? Had his dad hold him at gunpoint? Forced Misa to investigate on his behalf? Constantly and unerringly presses him on what Kira would be thinking as he’s handcuffed to him 24 hours a day? Maybe!! This is like Build-a-Bear but he’s customizing his Teen Murder Friend 

“Only Mr. Matsuda can do [the mission to lure out Higuchi!Kira]” Death Note really said the Himbos, Herbos and Thembos shall inherit the Earth 

They keep saying they don’t know how he kills but it seems pretty obvious that he writes down their names to kill, they literally saw him do it

I really don’t want any of the investigation team to die but things are not looking hot :(

“Ryuzaki, I never knew you could fly a helicopter” “It’s just intuition” what does that MEAN

“Those aren’t allowed in Japan,” said Light, about a gun, as if he had not killed probably thousands of people without one 

In spite of this fact I really do want Good Light to stay 😔 Why! Can’t! This! Show! Be! About! A! Nice! Young! Man!

Also they really are playing into this father-and-son duo I will be very sad when the dad inevitably dies as I’m sure he will 

Family side note: I’ve been wondering this since the prison ep but where do Light’s mom and sister think he IS now that he’s dropped out of first year uni to be a teen criminal investigator handcuffed to a maladjusted homebody private eye

AIZAWAAA and also the other two guys I guess there was a plot relevant reason for him to rejoin the police huh

Well what a clean ending to this Kira arc. No one died and the killer was caught! Yikes that the next ep is called ‘Revival’ tho 😔 Rest in pieces Good Light

Also a new and very threatening intro???? What happened to the Twilight Apple Hands 

BOOOO I knew Light would get his memory back but I was hoping it would at least fuck him up for a while he sorted out his two personas but I guess all roads eventually lead to Bad Light 

Full disclosure I stopped watching for a few days just after Light got his memory back and let me tell u coming back later hasn’t made it any more tolerable I am truly not built for this EUGH

“Do you really want to halve your life a second time” “Well, that can’t be helped” REALLY???? CAN’T IT BE HELPED MISA??? WHY ARE YOU AND LIGHT SO CRAZY

Oh I guess we’re back to Light saying incredibly suspicious things right near the investigators lmao what if those cameras secretly had audio or you know, L simply knew how to read lips 

“Misa, let’s make a new world together” Remember a bunch of episodes ago when Good Light was all ‘I could never toy with a woman’s emotions’?? What was the reason!!!

“Have you ever told the truth at any point in your entire life” L cutting straight to the core lmao (also the answer is obviously ‘no’)

This show has taken a jarring tonal shift why are they having a post-rain-confrontation massage and towelling each other off this is a level of intimacy I was not prepared for I NEED PEOPLE TOOK LOOK AT THIS:

OKAY OKAY OKAY I KNOW THAT IT WAS PROBABLY NOT THEIR INTENTION BUT THE ONLY WAY I CAN READ THIS SCENE IS AS “Don’t kill me Light~ 🥰 I’ll fuck you~ 🥰” 

I guess L knew he was forcing Rem’s hand to kill him if he disproved the rules written in the book?? But to what end omg how does this help anyone 

“In April 2012, Light Yagami, age 23, joins the National Police Agency” should’ve known we’d land here eventually (ACAB)

Ah, I see another person who doesn’t know how to sit, clearly they will inherit the L title next lmao

Update from the first few mins of the next ep: “Near should succeed L” told you

“There’s no way I’m letting Sayu marry a detective” ahjfkhkjf he’s a little old for her I think but it wouldn’t be the worst thing this show has done romantically lmao; maybe Sayu would get to investigate her brother

“I might’ve considered going out with you, if you were a little younger” HA GOOD FOR HER

“[...] the Japanese police are unreliable. In order to solve this case, we want you to hand over the notebook to our country.” Of all the Japanese-speaking Americans in this show, this is the most accurate jkhfkhf the US government really is Like That 

Ah, so that’s where Mello’s gone, oh how the turn tables 

Also way to sell your subordinates out immediately, NPA Director, will you give them the Kira task force’s home addresses too

The real question is if Light actually cares about his sister enough to prioritize her over the notebook

“Call me... N” Oh my good L... M(ello)... N(ear)... Oooooooooooooooo

It’s my saving grace that I only need to get through 9 more eps but as always I must wonder where this is going will Light just die and end up in Shinigami purgatory while the people who knew him after the fact go, ‘hey, that guy was fucked up’

“If things get bad, I’ll have to kill Sayu” well I guess that answers that question, my expectations of Light are so low and yet he continues to find new ways to be awful

Good for Mr. Yagami and Sayu for getting out of that alive I guess but hoo boy I think this is going to have some psychological repercussions for both of them 

Uh oh this episode is called ‘Father’ I’ve been dreading this one bc I think that means Mr. Yagami is about to die 😭😭😭

“It was an institution for brilliant children, to raise them to become L‘s successor” okay calm down Professor Xatari that’s not what children are for lmao 

Well I guess it’s a lot easier to track down info about these two guys than it was to figure out L lmao

HAHAHA Sidoh haunting Ryuk to ask for his stuff is a fun addition to this madness  

“He’s scary for a human” jkhhfjh how unhinged does Mello have to be to threaten a literal Shinigami 

I truly don’t understand the logistics of how they revealed Ryuk to the police force isn’t the second Kira notebook supposed to belong to Actual Kira, in the police force’s eyes????? I do not understand how Light can just turn up with another notebook and everyone’s like ‘sure cool’ did I miss something 

Mr. Yagami killed for being unable to take human life ugh this is the worst 

“You’re not Kira. I’m really glad.” WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO SAD MR. YAGAMI NOOOOOOOOOO THAT’S WHY HE RENOUNCED OWNERSHIP OF THE NOTEBOOK 

Neither Mello nor Near seem overly concerned with the lives of people around them does being a Super Genius Investigator also mean you have to be a dick (is this Benadryl Coddleswab Sherlock syndrome)

Lmaooo genuinely love how it’s constantly apparent that Light is the least smart of all of the smart people Light spent five years working on his reputation and it took Near one (1) phone call to destroy it 

Ghjkhgkhgkgjh Light outsmarted by Near yet again never think people will prioritize principles over money

Lol yeah Aizawa needn’t have given a name after he said the “Deputy Director Yagami would kill Kira and then himself” thing, you don’t do that just for anyone who was he fooling 

How does Light keep track of all the renunciations and notebooks bc I certainly can’t 

Ffhkfjhfj Mikami truly looks like the son of L and Light it’s like Light missed him and was like, “Miss u boo :( (even tho I kinda killed u) I’ll adopt An Evil 27-year-old in ur honour :)”

Is Mikami’s story really, ‘I got bullied in high school and have mommy issues so now I think people I don’t like should die’ ok Shonen Snape 

“I just want you to meet with me and hear me out” Light really proving to Aizawa that he can lie AND manipulate people’s feelings 

“The truth is, she’s not smart enough to be my partner” first of all Light I think this show has proven you’re not that smart, and Misa’s Herbo Energy is effervescent and will outlast you, and third of all go to jail

“He’ll look suspicious if he doesn’t say something soon” “Ide, have you ever been in love” Matsuda continues to be the only good part of this show

“You’re the only man I’ve ever respected and admired in my life” GET SOME THERAPY KIYOMI

“You’re going to be the goddess of the new world” so it’s not enough for Light to be a murderer he must also be a cheater

Lmao Near’s powers of perception do seem a little B/BC S/herlock because L tried for literally months to work out the possibilities and Near is just like ‘I KNOW IT NOW’

“The only thing I can deduce from this is that Light Yagami is popular with the ladies” HEAVEN KNOWS WHY (PUN NOT INTENDED)

Every moment Aizawa gets closer to proving Light is Kira is another step closer to death 😔

“This is definitely Mikami’s handwriting” Not to be a know-it-all, Near, but handwriting analysis has been proven faulty many times in multiple courts of law

This truly is a game of Cat and Cat. All these hidden plans give me a headache fkjhkfjh call me Misa-Misa and spin me sideways I don’t have the braincells to spare

Well this is definitely some kind of s*xual assault absolutely fucking hate it wow this show truly just drains the life out of you 

“Matt, I never thought you would be killed” why wouldn’t you think that at this point anyone who comes close to this investigation eventually dies (also wjkhkjhgk why is Matt special didn’t you kill all those thugs you had before -- Mello said ‘the lives of my allies are only important if they are drawn in handsome protag style’) 

As of yet I haven’t really talked about Near’s wild toymaking but hoo boy is that L finger puppet something to observe

“Everyone who knows about the existence of the notebook will die” I’m still pulling for their survival, particularly Matsuda (himbo rights!!!)

Imagine if they just shot Light Yagami on sight how ironic would that conclusion to all these mind games be 

“I’m waiting, for the one who will solve everything, to arrive” Lmao if it turns out L is alive I’ll pee laughing this show is so fucking stupid 

Take a shot every time there is a Humpty-Dumpty-in-Puss-in-Boots style explanation about how everything actually happened

“I’ve won, Near” I bet/hope what gets Light caught is his inability to hold in his hubris for one (1) minute

Although the last episode is called New World, in which case maybe he wins in a very weird ending to a very weird show

Sjkfhkjhfkhfkjhf well I guess what gets Light caught is that the person he invited to be his murderous disciple keeps calling him God

“A second ago, you said ‘I win.’ That’s as good a confession as any” HA hubris strikes again also bold of Aizawa to clap Light on the shoulder knowing he is a mass murderer

Ohhh Matsuda he’s so nice and believed the best of Light :((((((((((((

Watching Light become increasingly desperate and crazed is very uncomfortable give it up dude u’ve been beat (though I suppose there is time for everyone here to be murdered still lmao)

LMAO LIGHT SAID “IF YOU CAN’T BEAT ‘EM, CONVERT ‘EM”

Yeah I figured if one of them was gonna shoot it would be Matsuda :( :( Good for him for not killing Light tho!!

Huh I guess that’s the end of the show I thought Light would die but I did think we’d at least get to see him in Shinigami Purgatory or smth... what a wild ride. This certainly was a show.

[freekicks]

6, 12, 18. we'll cover the rest on the honeymoon.

(my flight from berlin to paris didn’t get in until 1 am last night, and then there was a fire emergency in the hotel so we all had to evacuate and stand on the street until 3am, so i’m lounging in bed until late checkout and just refusing to do anything more productive than go through my inbox... so i’m  going to try to re-create the answer I wrote for you last week that the mobile app ate!

18 was already answered, so here are my embarrassingly long takes on 6 and 12.

6. favorite band | oh man, this was a really tough one to answer last week as well! in the last few years, i’ve sort of gotten out of the habit of listening to new music, but back when i still lived in NYC, i was a rabid music consumer. i can’t tell if it’s just getting older that’s changed my listening patterns — i hope not. i honestly think it’s more to do with grad school; so much of my mental energy is taken up by reading that it’s much easier for me to come back to music i know well and have already internalized. which means that i listen to lots of the same bands over and over: vampire weekend, bright eyes (whom i’ve seen in concert maybe twenty-five times in the last decade and a half?), the kinks, haim, the hold steady, etc. 

but if i have to choose, it’s got to be bloc party. however cheesy it sounds, their first album really changed my life — i can really clearly remember pressing “play” and being just, fucking, annihilated by those guitars on the very first track. between 2005 and 2012, i probably saw them in concert a dozen times? and unlike a lot of critics, i really appreciated how their sound developed over their first three albums, and the way that they tried to work against some of the clichés of mid-00s rock. 

and “i still remember”  is still the fucking best, purest tribute to young queer love that i can imagine.

they’ve changed their lineup recently, and i haven’t had a chance to listen to their newest album yet. but i just trust kele okereke implicitly, in all the choices he makes.

...oh and did i mention that i met him once in berlin? (but that’s another story.)

12. ideas of a perfect date |  so when i first answered this ask last week, i went into this whole ramble about how i don’t date much these days, what with the almost constant dislocation and travel. (i did the math a few days ago: since january first, the total mileage of my flights in these five months is a little more than 1/4 of the circumference of the earth.) like, i do meet people, but i’m  usually not around long enough or consistently enough to form a lasting connection with them, and so i usually don’t even bother going on first dates, because those tend to have a high chance of just being awful. 

but really -- i mean, everyone hates first dates. a perfect first date for me is someone i already know well enough to skip the whole ‘sibling listing, job explaining’ rigamarole. so instead of using that as a cop-out, here are some great dates (all later than first) that i’ve been on:

 sneaking into a closed exhibition wing of the metropolitan museum of art, and making out next to a statue of a babylonian god

a road trip to south of the border, a racist, mexican-themed kitsch palace on the nc/sc border.

eating meatball parm subs in an abandoned boxcar on a stretch of rusted railroad tracks in a forest

going to a house party where everyone had to wear gimmicky slippers

really, anything that involves costumes or themed dress of any kind

dancing on a rooftop in view of the tv tower until dawn

[homelandstuff]

Great Disorientations

by Shebaloo at HLS LJ (Discussion here)

Hey, crybabies (myself included!):

Alright, the worst happened. Our ship sunk 100 times faster than the Titanic, and our beloved Quinn, like Jack, sacrificed himself so that the woman he loved could sit upon that metaphorical life raft door that clearly could have fit two people (yep, still salty). We are sad, we are outraged, we are confused, and we need some relief.

Remember my now-debunked theory that Quarrie would totally happen this season? I’m revising it to give you the real reasons why the writers chose the story they did. Warning: this is a pungent trash post.

How could they kill Quinn again before this ship even sailed?

You may not have heard anyone say this yet, but Homeland is Prescient. Postmodern. Prestigious. Iconic. Did I miss any three-syllable-words that are synonyms for pretentious? They couldn’t exactly end on a positive note in season 6 after the ultimate big baddie—the Orangehead-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (no, not Brody)—was elected IRL. Remember the wave of wonderful people who died in 2016, before the inauguration? The writers realized that Quinn was one of those good people who could not live to see the inauguration of a dictatorial POTUS. He made the last, ultimate sacrifice for democracy. But, hate and insecurity still won. Can’t you see that this show is dripping with the gritty realism we want right now?

Why put us through that “Will they?/Won’t they?” dilemma for FIVE seasons, if this was going to be the outcome?

As HYH has pointed out, the writers revised the script considerably after Trump was elected. Gansa and co. heard Trump’s team play this after his victory speech and at the end of all of his rallies (seriously), and the wheels started turning.

Why did they end Quinn’s arc with him at his lowest point—thinking he was a “mutant” killing machine who could never be loved?

Don’t you know that tragedy is ahhht, my dahhhling? Homeland decided to make your favorite action hero a little more emo and tragic. Admit it, you enjoyed watching him writhing in pain, you little masochists! Right? The writers definitely thought you would. Why throw in a moment of happiness or tenderness when they were the conductors of a successful, fully functioning pain train? If would have been completely out-of-character and strange if Quinn’s pain suddenly stopped. They pulled through for you by allowing the pain to steadily mount until the bitter end.

Why didn’t Carrie ever tell Quinn that she loved him?

She totally did, in a “Homelandian” way. She said “It was never about the mission,” and then her chin wobbled. Isn’t that even better than an “I love you”? Think about it: all of the direct “I love you’s” on Homeland are lies: Carrie said it to Brody and Aayan when she was working them as her assets. She said it to Quinn on the phone when she was grateful that he (and all of the new PTSD) had agreed to come to Islamabad. Dar said it to Quinn so that he wouldn’t get shot in the face. If Carrie had told Quinn she loved him, or if Quinn had told her he loved her directly (not indirectly through the letter), then the love would have been a lie! Bottom line: Homelandian love is unspoken and indirect, while a direct “I love you” is Homelandian for “do what I say.” And, yes, Quinn’s “Do what I say” in 6.12 also meant “I love you.” Private message me if you would like a Homelandian translation of any dialogue.

What happened to the sexy season promise?

Didn’t you get the memo? NOT showing sex on a premium cable network is totally edgy and sexy now.

The opening credits end with the dialogue from the 6.02 ”Why?" scene and the embrace from the 6.03 “Hug” scene. Wasn’t this supposed to foreshadow something about the Quarrie relationship?

See the train running through their hug? That was the pain train I was telling you about! Totally symbolic and foreshadowing. They are glued together with blood and pain!

Hello, we were promised that the letter would be addressed?

The letter? What letter? Ohh, you mean that plot device? Sorry, they ran out of time. But it was implicitly revisited: he was never allowed a real life or a real love, and he kept chasing the darkness. Can’t say they didn’t warn you about this bleak goodness! But, hey, if you wanted something more concrete, you could make it work. In your fanfics, you may imagine that she pulls it out of the other drawer and reads it again after the looks at the photo of herself. Then Carrie makes a little scrapbook of all of the confirmation receipts indicating that Quinn loved her.

What kind of message is this show trying to send to veterans?

Oh, haven’t you heard? Homeland is prescient. This season, the writers examined the deaths of two brave soldiers: Elizabeth Keane’s son, and Peter Quinn. The truth is that a lot of soldiers die, and sometimes there are smear campaigns to label them as cowardly or toxic. Homeland gave us a completely necessary reminder of this reality in season 6.

Why did Carrie save Quinn in 5.12 if he was just going to die again?

Carrie was feeling a little bit guilty and a little bit loving. Also she ran out of missions, so he WAS her mission. It was tough to fulfill both her Quinn recovery mission and her POTUS saving mission in the end, so she had to choose one.

Why wasn’t there a memorial for Quinn?

You know, they wanted to include one. But there just wasn’t time. Weren’t you much more concerned about Brett O'Keefe's burps and the resolution of the CPS storyline? Oh, and they had waited until the last minute to include the obligatory Carrie-stares-at-herself-in-the-mirror scene that they revisit each season. Wasn’t it amazing how she put on her makeup, looked herself over, and removed the lipstick? This show was never about Quinn, silly! It’s about Carrie and her self-perception. Carrie had not put on much makeup all season, and it was difficult for her to put on that mask again. This was her way of showing that she is still grieving, folks! Carrie, Ruby Woo was definitely not the right shade for you. Not at that moment.

Why didn’t Carrie properly grieve for Quinn?

She was in total shock when she was in the car. Plus, she couldn’t break down crying in front of the esteemed POTUS. She had already embarrassed herself when she drunk dialed her in the middle of the night, and she probably wouldn’t have received that fake career opportunity of a lifetime if she had shown too many emotions in the car. Oh, and she did grieve! She saw the photo of herself in Quinn’s collection.

How could did Carrie “let him go” in episodes 6.11 and 6.12? What happened to the Carrie who said she couldn’t lose him Islamabad, refused to mercy kill him in Berlin, and spared him from a suicide-by-cop situation at her brownstone?

The therapist wasn’t exactly encouraging of her “intense” relationships, was he? He told her that the most important person in her life should be Franny. What if she risked her life to stop Quinn from driving the car, and Franny lost her mom for good? I predict that we’ll see Carrie further confront her savior complex in the seasons to come.

Why did they make a point to show Quinn bonding with Franny?

Rising action! They let Carrie smile once before their world came crashing down on them. Be grateful that you got one full moment of domesticity from Gansa the edgelord. Remember that pain is power and prescience, people!

How could they tease us with that Hop stuff?

Oops, you got trolled!

Did Carrie even love Quinn?

Um, yes, in a totally Homelandian way! She told him “we could have done more back there” with the Sandy situation, she told him to get over his drama king attitude when he was claiming the CIA was unjustifiably immoral, she defended her decision to sleep with Aayan to him, she told him she wasn’t any good for him, she greatly hesitated before she conceded to allowing Jonas to call an ambulance for him when he was dying for her, she waited 9 days before looking further into his disappearance, she woke him up for information that he didn’t have, she slept with Jonas immediately after thwarting the terror attack that she woke Quinn up for, and she rejected his hug-and-frisk move. Thank you to Rupert Friend for prompting me to think of all of the ways that she showed she was his Homelandian soulmate.

Remember when Otto showed up in episode 1? His whole purpose was to say, "If it's not me...then let it be someone else" and then CUT to Quinn. I thought that was supposed to be foreshadowing!

Red herring alert! Red herring alert! Don’t you see that the writers have wanted Carrie and Otto to be the OTP all along, and the cut to Quinn was either a total coincidence or a total ruse? Weren’t you feeling the angry, sexual tension between Carrie and Otto in that room? She even said “fuck” to him—that’s the word she always used around Quinn and Brody! Honestly, with all of this sexiness going on, I’m surprised she hasn’t started calling him “During.” The writers saw all of your backlash when he made the big proposal in 5.12, but they brought him back to tease this ship again. Did you see that he got a gift for Franny? How cute! You love it when Carrie’s suitors are nice to Franny, right? Plus, Carrie told Otto about Quinn. They can have a little mourning event together at his chateau. And there you have it: my season 7 prediction is that she crashes Otto’s wedding to the rando fiancee he mentioned, and Carrie declares, “You were the one most suitable for me all along!” Golly, be still my beating heart.