#like help I forgot how bad the aftermath of tattoos are like getting it is fine but oh dear god

[b0wieblue]

Did I travel by boat for 3 hours, then drive for another 2 hours, then stay a few days away from home just to get a Megatron tattoo? Why yes, yes I did :]

[otptings]

Reunited

✖︎Idol: Park Jisung

✖︎Genre: Fluffffy

✖︎Word Count: 1237

✖︎Synopsis: Tours are hard, but being reunited is all you could ask for

✖︎A/n: edited, the original goes by the name of tour. requests are open for enhypen, treasure, and svt. if you enjoyed this please like, reblog, or donate to my ko-fi in my bio thank you so much

“I miss you.” You held back your laughter at the sight of Jisung puffing out his cheeks in an obvious pout.

“Only two more weeks, then you’ll be back in my arms.”

“That’s boring, why can’t I just teleport there now? Or better yet you teleport here?” Shaking your head at his childishness you couldn’t help but feel the same. There have been more than enough lonely nights to last you for the rest of your days. Nights that were spent looking at all of the various photos and videos that Jisung - tried to-  regularly send you, along with scouring the Dreamies Youtube channel for any videos he forgot to tell you about.

You were more than grateful he was able to experience the tour, especially now that his knee was fully healed, but a miniscule part of you wanted him to be here, wrapped around you like a koala, your favorite habit of his. You’d give anything to be suffocating because of the immense warmth he constantly radiated, your head laying on his chest to listen to his heart beat. The moment when you’d look up at him only to see him already staring back, a sweet smile on his face as he leant down to place a kiss on your temple. Moments you wished you hadn’t taken for granted.

“I miss you more than you know, but I’ve seen all of your performances. You make me so proud everytime I watch them.” A dark blush spread of Jisung’s cheeks. He was weak to compliments. A mumbled ‘he’s on the phone’ was heard before the dressing room dorm burst open, the rest of the Dreamies making an appearance. The boys rushed to the camera, the sound of their screams and greetings making you giggle.

“Don’t think I forgot about you guys, I miss you too.” A mix of Korean and English could be heard, but due to their overexcitement actually understanding was out of the question. Jisung muttered a quick ‘bye’ before the phone beeped, signaling that he hung up. You laughed at his panicked expression before realizing he didn’t end the call with an I love you. Or the next time you’d talk.

Touring makes it hard to schedule things, having an estimated time when you two could talk did help. Giving you something to look forward to between his performances and your school schedule. You had started to get deep into your thoughts when your phone dinged.

Jisungie🐹

I love you ❤️i’ll try and call you tomorrow before practice

A smile spread across your face at his text. Jisung wasn’t forgetful, you don’t even know why you were so worried. Laying back against your pillows you grabbed your stuffed bear, a present Jisung had given you on your 6 month anniversary, hugging it close to your chest, attempting to ignore the empty sensation in your chest that had been steadily growing since he boarded the plane.

Three weeks can’t pass quickly enough.

Stuffing your hands in your pocket you huffed impatiently. You were waiting, just standing there waiting for the aircraft to deplane and the door to open revealing the purple hair boy, for the aching in your chest to finally be alleviated when he held you in his arms for the first time in months.

You felt your breath hitch when the gate doors opened without warning. 6 months, 26 weeks, and 4380 hours without Jisung, he’s finally back. People slowly started to trickle out, and your impatience only grew when none of them were your boys. After what felt like hours - approximately 5 minutes - Mark’s bright blue hair came into view. A mixture of relief and elation rushed through you at the sight of Jisung, his eyes moving rapidly before meeting yours, the same emotions flooding through them.

What you did was stupid, giving the company free ammunition to be mad at you. In your defense NCTzens already knew about your relationship, after 1 year together the company released a statement before Dispatch had the pleasure of creating a scandal. So what if you gave them a few couple pictures to leak.

Jisung met you halfway, his neck pillow laying discarded on the ground, arms wrapping around your waist tightly, as if he was scared you’d leave. That wasn’t a problem, your arms draped over his shoulders, holding him just if not more close. In your brain you could make out the Dreamies cooing over you too, but your attention was mainly on the feeling of your chest finally being full for the first time in 6 months, your other half was back.

You hadn’t realized just how much you missed the feeling of his arms around you, feeling protected in the way he seemed to fully wrap around you. You pulled away only long enough to look up at Jisung, frowning at his watery eyes.

“You’re crying.” Jisung’s hand came to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing away the tear you hadn’t realized you were shedding. Giggling, you buried your face back into Jisung’s chest. You refused to let go.

“Are they really crying? Oh my god we’re gonna be here all day.” You couldn’t see the aftermath of Haechan’s dramatic yelling, but you did hear the soft thud of someone smacking his arm - later you found out it was Renjun due to Haechan's whining about how unfair it was.

“It’s young love, they missed each other let them be.” Jaemin began to scold them, protecting his two babies as he always does.

Come on guys, let’s head to baggage claim. Sooner we get there, sooner we can go home.” Jeno’s voice broke through and you finally pulled away, not before he wrapped around your shoulders, keeping you tightly pressed to his side as you walked.

In a total of 37 minutes all 7 of the boys got their bags - including Haechan’s extra bag for souvenirs - loaded them into the van with the help of their manager, and returned back to the dorms, where you were currently curled into Jisung’s side as the other boys were spread out around the dorm, minus Chenle, Mark, and Haechan who were at their respective residences.

Jisung’s head laid on your chest while your fingers ran through his hair, massaging his scalp and listening to the soft sighs that left his mouth, his own hand playing with the bottom of your shirt, fingers threatening to touch the smooth skin underneath.

“I really missed you” Tilting his head up Jisung looked at, relief still evident in his eyes, “It’s hard being so far away from you, I can’t sleep in those different hotel rooms. Of course I have my members, but it’s not the same as having you beside me.”

“You’re back now, and you can’t act as if the tour was all bad. How was it anyway?”

Jisung recounted the tour days for you, making sure to spare no detail of how they convinced Renjun to reenact his voice crack on the stage during the encore, or when they woke Mark on his birthday by pouring water on him and how Haechan was the one to take all of the blame, or when they all decided to gave themselves temporary tattoos with a sharpie and how the makeup artists lectured them for hours while trying to get rid of the black ink - except for Mark who use blue because it was his favorite color.

Tours are rough on both of you, but being reunited is all you could ever ask for.

[somestansomewhere]

Frank’s Dementia in 11a

Points to discuss:

Moments where Frank forgot.

Things he might be able to remember.

Other characters finding out.

Aftermath...

So to start of, I made a list of every instance in SEASON ELEVEN A, where Frank’s memory seemed a bit off, I’m not gonna analyze the whole series for this but I’m sure there’s more there. Now:

Moments Where Frank Forgot

11x01

1. Frank’s History of Chicago

While this does appear to imply just the opening monologue, there are actually several moments throughout the episode where Frank is talking about the Gallagher’s running Chicago to Alan. And while this seems like typical “Frank being drunk nonsense”, plus a spectacular opening to the season... I now see it in a different light especially after:

2. Frank’s Memory Elixir

Frank LITERALLY has a line asking for “memory elixir”, meaning booze, which Alan hands him. Ironic since he has ALCOHOLIC DEMENTIA. You can’t tell me that wasn’t intentional!

3. He Forgot Bars Were Closed

Now, I may be reaching here... BUT when Frank enters The Alibi for the first time this season (what a grand enterence btw) he says “I heard somewhere all bars were open again”. V responds by saying something along the lines of “three weeks ago maybe” and that the mayor shut them down again. Frank says “Well who the hell can keep track”. And okay, yeah maybe Frank genuinely didn’t know... but this is the bar he goes to EVERYDAY. Not to mention if they shut down less than THREE WEEKS AGO, Frank should know... idk this one might not count but I added it anyway. Kermit is unaware of bars being open/shut down in 11x03 so moving on:

11x02

4. The Alibi’s Secret Enterence

Okay, again REACHING! However, when Frank entered The Alibi through the Keg Zone door he forgot to use the “secret knock” and Kev had to remind him about it. Now in 11x01 he used the front door (and I’m not sure he knew to use the other door in that ep) but still at least he remembered to use the correct door in 11x02.

11x03

This is where it got noticeable.. strap in, here we go:

5. Taking Franny to School

He took her to the wrong school. This is the same person that knows the Southside perhaps better than his kids (lol), like the back of his hand! He not only took her to the wrong school but a middle/grade school. Franny is in elementary/preschool school. You can see in WHM’s face here that Frank was confused...

6. Uncle V and Aunt Kev

Maybe just a comedic slip up, but Frank calls Kev and V “Uncle V and Aunt Kev” as opposed to what they really are. Maybe he forgot? I’m reaching LOL.

7. Debbie Is Not Fiona

Frank talks about one of his favorite MEMORIES with Franny’s mom: Debbie, but “oh no, maybe that was Fiona”. Small moment, typical Frank but... nonetheless, poor memory. The writers are smart by mentioning Fiona in this scene... it’s “a Fiona mention”, we’re going to remember this, and that’s probably why they did it.

8. The Paper Store

Yeah, this was the first red flag for me and if I can recall, the moment EVERYONE knew something seemed off. Frank, walks out of the paper store with Franny and cannot remember where he is, or where they are headed. Once he is reminded of their “goals” for the day (by Franny, a five year old) he proceeds to head to the paper store... Franny once again let’s him know that they already went there and Frank notices the paper already in his (Franny’s) backpack. Ouch.

11x04

9. The Nation of Islam

Ooo this one hurt! After Frank suggests to visit The Nation of Islam in an attempt to get their help to get rid of the Milkoviches, him, Kev, and Liam do. We SEE them go there. It’s a whole scene, so later in the episode when Frank suggests to go ask them for help AGAIN as if it were a completely new idea, we as an audience know they already did that. As Kevin says they “JUST did that”. Frank forgot. Shit.

11x05

10. Mrs.McCurdy

Frank discusses with Kev about murdering Mrs.McCurdy, later he tries to murder her. We see it, we remember it becaue she grabbed Frank’s dick. It was funny, the scene evoked laughter, it forces the audience to remember it. Frank mindlessly walks into The Alibi and Kev asks Frank if he “did the thing”. Now at first Frank is confused. They were using “quotation talk” earlier so yeah I get it, but then when Kevin is more direct with Frank, Frank thinks Kev is implying that he had sex with Mrs.McCurdy... Frank is clearly confused. Only then does Kev point out that he meant MURDER. Frank takes a second, again if you watch he does not know what Kev is talking about, but then it hits him, and he remembers. Thus continuing the convo like nothing.

11x06

11. Monica

Now this one REALLY hurt. Frank’s first scene of the episode is a sex scene between him and Letty. She’s blonde, and Frank calls her Monica. He truly believes he is sleeping with Monica, only Monica is dead, she been since season seven. When Letty mentions that she isn’t Monica (thinking Frank calling her that was only a sex thing), we see WHM’s brilliant preformence once again. Frank doesn’t know what Letty means, he thinks she’s Monica. Then when he realizes she isn’t, he gets this lost dejected look on his face. He’s confused and knows that he keeps getting confused.

Frank says “I gotta get to work”. Letty asks him where he works and Frank is left bewildered.

12. Seven

Okay so remember Frank and Franny’s adventure in 11x03? Frank visits a dry cleaners to get some weed. They make a point of Franny saying that Frank will pay SEVEN for the weed. No offer is made and Frank must get it somewhere else. Throughout the episode Frank refterences SEVEN to Kev & V as the asking price to sell. We as an audience are forced to remember SEVEN. Also in 11x03, as Debbie frantically looks for Frank/Franny, she visits the dry cleaners where they were (retracing their steps). We as an audience have been there twice.

Now, in 11x06 Frank goes to pick up an order but like, we already saw him go there episodes ago. When the woman behind the counter literally tells him she has nothing for him and he argues with her, WE KNOW she is right. Once again, Frank forgot. I’m so sad. Not only that but Kev and V don’t have Frank going on runs anymore. Ian & Mickey are doing it... Frank is legit lost and forgot that he’s not doing that anymore, Kev tells him he’s not in 11x04.

Ms.G even says to Frank that she doesn’t need to write anything down to remember it because the “Mind’s a steel trap”. She doesn’t owe him... she can use her mind to remember where Frank cannot. The irony.

13. Pedestrian, Blue, Handlebar (abc)

a) Frank getting hit in the head results in him having a visit to the hospital where a nurse discovers that Frank has no clue how he got there and more specifically, how he got hit in the first place.

b) The saddest part, when asked his name he remembers FRANK. But has to look down at her sheet to know his last name is GALLAGHER. This is the man who walks around saying “It’s up to Frank Gallagher to save the neighborhood”. He forgot his last name.

c) The scene goes on, the nurse asks him to remember three words: pedestrian, blue, and handlebar. They discuss other things, then she asks him to tell her those words. It’s so abundantly clear that Frank just cannot. He doesn’t remember. He was told like 30sec ago and gets, for the first time ASHAMED. He’s the most shameless person ever (hence the title of the show) but now the tides have turned. He “doesn’t wanna play this game anymore”. Frank can recognize AGAIN that he is confused, only now he is forced to face it. The nurse noticed, she runs some tests and Frank learns that he has early stages of alcoholic dementia. This isn’t his liver, he can’t get a new one, this is his brain.

14. + 15. Letty & Terry

Just two bonuses, Frank wanders aimlessly into the Alibi again (like in 11x05) because it’s routine for him. Letty calls him over. Frank forgot they were supposed to meet there. :(

Frank and Terry on the porch: Maybe it’s just bad writing or they were trying to make a point but like a “Gallagher-Milkovich War” never happened??? We watched the show for 11 seasons... Also are the Milkoviches actually from Poland Frank? I’ll excuse that one cuz Ian mentioned it too, but I thought they wer Ukrainian. These seem like writing mistakes tho so oops.

Things He Might Be Able To Remember

Frank has his and Franny’s name tattooed on his body... he literally forgot his last name at the hospital. And if he forgets a bunch in 11b then that’ll be the payoff for the tattoo... he might not know why the tattoo is there or who the people are listed on his arm, or even what it means exactly, but he will know that Frank loves Franny.

Where he lives. Frank never threw out the paper with his diagnosis. He might remember his home, however the conflict comes in the fact that the Gallaghers might be selling it. He needs to be around people/places that are familiar to him. This could jeopardize his memory.

The Alibi is where Frank seems to just walk to or go to whenever he has no clue where he is or going but it’s subtle. I could see him getting lost and no one knowing where he is and Frank just being at the Alibi beacuse idk muscle memory? He’s on autopilot.

Early stages of ALCOHOLIC Dementia can improve. Like if maybe Frank were to tell someone and if he wasn’t removed from the Gallagher house, and oh I don’t know if Frank STOPPED DRINKING, he could remember. But I don’t think we’re heading in that direction, especially if the house is sold, and let’s face it... it looks that way.

Fiona? Will he forget her... this all feels reminiscent of 4x11.

Other Characters Finding Out

Franny, Kevin, and Liam, are the only people who have REALLY been subject to the possibility of noticing... but think about it. Franny is too young to notice anything, Kevin is not the brightest bulb, he doesn’t seem to realize it either, and Liam was exposed to it once, but at that time he was so scared about the Milkoviches that he didn’t notice it. Maybe if he saw it again, he would. Liam is smart enough.

I wonder if the Gallaghers will just find out the hard way (,like those stills from 11x08 are making me think,) or if anyone will begin to seriously pick up on it. I intially thought they would show Frank forgetting in front of each character until someone was able to notice but scratch that. They seem to be setting Lip up on the “alcoholic path” this season, (and I may go more into depth about that one another time, it’s another big post if I do get into it). But what will the Gallagher’s reactions/feelings be towards Frank’s diagnosis? Mickey and Ian had many Terry/Frank discussions in 11x06 literally setting up for it. It hurt when they all kept dismissing Frank because yup, they don’t know yet. They would have to help him in order to keep his memory maintained, but that’s the thing... Frank’s pride. He might deny their help even if they actually were to give it to him... Either way, I’m “looking forward” to see how this all unravels and how everyone finds out and what their reactions will be, which brings me to my final topic:

Aftermath...

So what happens? Will they sell the house, potentially causing Frank to forget? Will he not know his kids, his history? Will he die? Will Frank finally stop drinking... yeah I doubt that... So what WILL happen? Will the Gallaghers be left to take care of Frank? Will they even do that? Will he remember them?

What if in 1x01 Frank’s narration IS his memory? We see him talking about his kids to someone? It circles back? I don’t know, but either way I expect this whole thing to pull on our heartstrings. When the rest of the regulars find out... it’s gonna get real, and rough.

Interesting stuff coming up in 11b I’m sure. Let’s see how this plays out for our Protagonist and Patriarch: Frank Gallagher.

Omg, if you read through this, you are so cool and I really really appreciate you! Please send me an ask or write a note, I would love to get your take on the matter. 💙

Hope you enjoyed this analysis and I hope it didn’t go on too long.

[mcyslarb]

CHARACTER INTRODUCTION

THE BASICS

NAME/NICKNAMES: May Parker

ALIAS: “Aunt May”

AGE: 50

PREFERRED PRONOUNS: She/Her

AFFILIATION: #teamspiderman (or, at this point #teamspiderpeople)

FACECLAIM: Paget Brewster

THE DETAILS

FAMILY: Her parents are deceased, she doesn’t have any siblings (that she knows of) and they lost Ben circa pre-Civil War, I believe. All in all, it’s mostly always just been her and Peter. What’s more of a dream team, anyways?

THREE FAVORITE THINGS: Thai food, denim jackets and her #1 nephew.

EDUCATION: A college graduate who spent more time looking cool than studying but she got by, thank you very much.

SKILLS: Being a kickass aunt is a skill. She can also get wine stains out of white dresses, knows pretty much all of Stevie Nicks’ discography, once tied a cherry stem with her tongue and was a two-time ‘if you can get it all, it’s free’ champion at some local diner.

WEAPONS: Just her lowkey fists of fury, huh.

ABILITIES: N/A (the stellar BS detector isn’t universally recognized, unfortunately)

THE QUESTIONNAIRE

IN THE LAST YEAR SINCE THANOS WAS DEFEATED, WHAT HAS YOUR CHARACTER BEEN DOING?

All in all, rebuilding her life and attempting to keep some semblance of normality and stability in Peter's life. The usual stuff, y'know. A roof, a curfew(ish), at least three meals a day that include some sorta vegetable. A lot of pretending that she knows what she's doing in the face of the world literally crumbling and then spitting everyone back out like it was nothing. No big, just another manic Monday in NYC. May's always been pretty good at rolling with the punches. Before Peter's parents died, she was more than settled on being the Cool AuntTM to the absolute max. She was going to sneak Peter his first beer, let him drive her car, not embarrass him when he brought a date around for family dinner but things changed, obviously.

So she rolled with it. Being so suddenly in the know and in the center of things though, she definitely felt a big need to actually do something. Be proactive. Help people; it’s what Peter did, it's what Ben would have done. Despite the lack of super-juju, she did her part where she could helping those whose lives were totally messed up by the ole snap-a-roo.

May absolutely insisted on knowing all the information she could afterwards too. I mean, remember when her kid literally went to space without calling? Yeah, samesies.

WHAT HAS YOUR CHARACTER LEARNED IN THE AFTERMATH OF THANOS, HIS SNAP AND EVENTUAL DEFEAT?

May already had her fair share of experience when it came to grief. She'd known loss, she already knew that permanence wasn't real and you could do every little thing right and still end up heart broken. You never know what the day is going to bring. But this was...a lot. In a way she was weirdly grateful that she'd at least dusted too because being left behind knowing that Peter was gone? That would have been one loss too much. Knowing that she was supposed to have protected him and that she had, undeniably, failed in that? It would have been heartbreaking.

Actually, it still kinda was. Even though they all came back, even though the heroes won and the bad guy was defeated, she still felt as if she had failed. You want the best for your loved ones, you want to keep them safe but what was she was meant to do in the face of something like that? I mean, sure, if she had been there... She definitely would have taken a swing at Thanos for even looking at Peter wrong but that's just the point: she wasn't there and that stuck with her. She was probably a lot more overprotective, insisted on almost constant communication and may have had a small, minor cry over a burnt lasagne (but, like, it wasn't about the lasagne).

Still, there is hope, isn't there? Even in the face of what, for her, was the literal end of the world... There was hope. There had been some wild solution to fix everything, even if it had come at a price. Despite the worst of odds, they still got saved. That was something at least, you know?

THE SAVAGE LANDS IS A NEW AND DANGEROUS PLACE, HOW IS YOUR CHARACTER COPING WITH THE NEW ENVIRONMENT?

Nope. Nope, nope, nope--- no, thank you. She's been a city gal her whole life, hasn't even been on a camping trip so there's no way she's happy about being landed in...wherever the hell this is. Knowing her luck, this will definitely be more Jurassic Park than Land Before Time, you know? If she can make it through the literally day without being eaten, then we can talk.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Headcanons;

May was the leather pants clad, motorcycle riding, tattoo her parents never found out about having kinda gal who you never would have imagined Ben Parker to end up marrying. Mostly because, well, she'd said on multiple occasions she wasn't the marrying type- unless there was some kinda Elvis impersonator involved. They were best friends since high school though, even went to the same college and just when she thought she couldn't handle having another bad boyfriend (or girlfriend), he finally fessed up about his F-E-E-L-I-N-G-S. The rest was, as they say, history.

Definitely felt too young to be a mom. Well, guardian. Aunt with responsibility. May had never considered kids before and she was scared to death when they first took Peter in. Ben was perfect as always and yes, she'd literally loved that little kiddo since the day he'd been born but it was still scary. What if she forgot to pick him up from school and he joined a biker gang? What did kids even eat? Did she really have to say things like 'do your homework' and 'eat your larb' outloud? Needless to say it all worked out in the end but despite faking it 'til she made it, she was 100% freaking out, lowkey, at the time.

Never dated for a long time after Ben. She showed up to a few dates (online dating... Way scarier stuff than raising a kid) but often ended up bailing or ghosting before they could even show up. Even now it still feels kinda off. Sure, she'll flirt and she has a beating heart but as for epic, true, soulmate, matching tattoo love? She feels like she had it. Done, dusted (poor wording) and that's just...how it is. No big.

Read a ton of blogs about how to handle raising a teenage boy and felt very confident in all she had to say, however ridiculous. Lucky she and Peter have always had a really open and honest relationship. She's always wanted him to feel like he could talk to her about anything. They were a team and it'd always be them against the world, no matter how weird things got.

Loves a two-tone double denim look! Loves some high-waisted jeans. Absolutely adores literally anything with stripes and she shan't be stopped. Always looks great, let's be honest.

Looks like a cinnamon, really is a cinnamon roll...until you try and mess with her spidernephew.

[lighthouseofthewanderess]

Music

In talking about how to relive a moment, I forgot the most obvious and influential element in my life. Music. Now, I know people have spoken a lot about it, written, and composed songs on it. So I won’t bore you with what I feel about it. I’ll just show you how I look at it. To me, Music is a person -- a constant companion in my good times and the bad. Sometimes, Music is the reason I snap out of certain phases in my life. An angel, in my mom’s words. The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto is a book that helped me grasp music better. Before that I just was in awe of it. I got another tattoo that read out the word inspire, designed in musical notes. When people see it, they ask me if I am musically inclined. I appreciate it, no I don’t play anything. I have tried the piano, the flute, choir singing, and lyric writing. That’s not a gift that I’ve been blessed with. I go about telling people that painting, writing, dancing and other forms are art all fall short in front of music. In my eyes, you have to be truly gifted to have music flow through your veins. The rest of the world can just hope to hear every random tune ever made because each one is story in itself. And the ones who hear the most and explores the most, are the richest.

Why do I say that? Because the emotion a song brings is one of the few things that money can’t fetch you. You have a voice, a string of words, and a melody -- all that you may and may not like. But when you do, it sticks with you. It comes to you when you’re riding along a busy street, when you’re facing a power cut in the shower. Or when someone has just told you something harsh and walked away. Words surface from tunes you’ve heard and you can’t help but seek refuge in it. It swallows you, holds you, rocks you calm, and puts you back on your feet. That’s why when I meet someone I’m so eager to know what kind of music they listen too. When I see a long list on iTunes, I go ‘Woah, he’s rich.’ And the quality of each tune, further adds to how I respect or distant myself from that person. I’m not talking about 150 songs that I can tap onto by listening to AT40 with Ryan. I’m talking about the ones you find when you venture out on YouTube and Spotify, exchange music on the train, and create groups to share links. Here are a couple of songs that have managed to discover, in different phases in life, for their own reasons.

Gasoline, Halsey  --  We’ve heard Halsey pair up with G-Eazy and Chainsmokers. And they’re all brilliant. But if I had to pick one favorite it would be Gasoline. It called to me because with every line, I went ‘oh that’s me’. The music, peaking and teasing to accentuate her voice. In fact my blog, The Wanderess, is inspired by her other song Hurricane, and what it captures. There’s a verse in it that goes: ‘I'm a wanderess I'm a one night stand Don't belong to no city Don't belong to no man.’ I just had to borrow from that and do my own Halsey-thing on the side. I listen to her music when I’m fixing my bike, doing things that need extra strength or when I need to work majorly on my self-esteem. No need to pay 2k for therapy, Halsey is enough for me.

Anachronism, Crywolf -- the words are just about 4 paras long. And they are hella relatable, yes. It talks of how people aren’t perfect and everyone’s ghosts are real. And the artist sends a plea to whoever loves him to accept the wrath that he brings. Speaking of wrath, the music is just so intense and overpowers the voice and lyrics. It is unpredictable and haunting at the same time. It builds up and crashes when you least expect it and suddenly comes alive when your heart has said goodbye. I listen to this when I need to zone out, and focus on one thing at a time. I cannot plug this one in and work. It screams for attention and with good reason.

Akhiyaan Nu Rehn De, Quratulain Balouch -- There’s something about not knowing the meaning of what you’re listening to. If you have the superpower of imagination like me, then you find a narrative in those lost tunes in your head. It is definitely emotive and some part of that has to do with the fact that it is vernacular. It has the drums in the back as well, a beautiful addition to the morose emotion oozing out of her strained yet confident voice. And this song is mostly catharsis for me. It is short yet intense and through the song I manage to seek out my pent-up feelings and let them go when the music ends abruptly.

Babe I’m Yours, Whilk and Misky -- I almost scrapped this song in the first few seconds because it started off-key. But then the beats fell right in and I was transported to a cowboy tavern where a drunk lover is saying all the things that one wants to hear. “But I want cream in my coffee I want springs in my steps I want gin in my tonic And I want all that I can get.” I listen to this more because I relate to the guy rather than the girl. I underestimate the power of love and just like him, I surrender once I realize. So when I need to get going on a Friday or Monday morning, here’s my jam.

Librarian, Laura Jane Scott -- Very fittingly, it opens like a story with easy beats. Mellow music and no unexpected turns. It puts you in a dream and has all the happy words weaved in, although what the artist is saying is that she wants to conquer the books she looks over. She wants to be with the fairies and the pirates instead of this normal world. So you obviously know I’m listening to this when I’m making a run from reality.

Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You, Cigarettes After Sex -- If I wasn’t a sucker for deep voices, this won’t be on my list. Purely love it because of the voice and the calming effect it has on my mood. Especially if I’m breaking down, I plug this one. It is tender and cautious, inching closer and closer to your heart to make you feel whole again. There is no clear narrative, just the aftermath of the experience. Still, Daughter -- This breaks down a beautiful yet dying relationship. Similar to ‘Dancing in a Burning Room’. I’ll just let her words do the talking: “It's spiraling down Biting words like a wolf howling Hate is spitting out each others mouths But we're still sleeping like we're lovers.” And yet when you listen to it, it’s not a sad tune. The chorus is weirdly upbeat and gives you the feeling that when you’re stuck at a fork there’s still half a chance at happiness.

Goodbye, Feder -- Vengeful is the world. It seethes in her voice and the music is suspenseful. You might hear it at a club, a remixed version but the original is good enough. The story unfolds one line at a time and whenever I hear it I can half imagine the artist sitting next to me at the bar and narrating the way her love affair went down and what she wants to tell the guy. “Then, you ran away Are you thinking of me when you f her? Does she know you were supposed to love me 'Til you die? Almost, kill me”

Land of all, Woodkid -- Again, on the list because of the voice. It is beautiful, haunting, and tragic. The composition here just has to be given special mention. When it starts you have no idea what’s coming. In terms of the music, the lyrics, or the tone. It just peaks out of nowhere.The chorus is layer and layer of chaos that builds louder into a self-revealing moment. I mean, it just makes you feel like the artist is putting all the important parts into the chorus without words and you just have to get it.

Formidable, Stromae -- This is probably a favorite because I have personal respect for Paul Haver. The voice that comes of his bony frame, his versatility, and in large a single component that occupy all his music. The bouncing beat at the back always makes you want to shake a leg and even though I don’t understand French, I am pretty sure of the vibe he’s putting out there. Mostly all his songs end on my list.

Of course, it’s was very hard to put together this list. There was a song for each phase. Ruins by Ryder through my small yet full-blown goth phase. Yamaha by Delta Spirit whenever I’m on my way home from Pune. We were in love by Ta-Ku when I’m angry with the world around me. I know some of these aren’t that rare at all, but it’s a good mix of my go to songs. I have Sweater Weather from NBHD, Olivia from Mayer, and Born to Die from Lana constantly on my favorites. Like speed dial. And that’s how music literally saves my soul some days. I hope some of this will save you too.

[killingmebtob]

Ballerina // Minkwang

Author: @killingmebtob // Sara

Title: Ballerina

Character: Eunkwang and Minhyuk

Sequel to: Thumbelina

Summary: Another episode in the life of a florist and his tattoo artist neighbor.

---

Ever since that faithful day when his heart stirred at the feel of Minhyuk’s arms catching him, Eunkwang couldn’t help but let his gaze wander to the tattoo shop situated next to his humble flower shop. The florist would shake his head whenever he caught himself trying to see what the tattoo artist was trying to do in his dingy shop. Still, Eunkwang would continue glancing in between his work hours.

That was another thing the florist added to the few things he hated or at least, disliked. The man’s act of “heroism” during the bug incident did merit Minhyuk some points but the aftermath quickly erased that. It annoyed him greatly that he became even more curious of the tattoo artist.

Eunkwang quickly snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the bell on his door ring, signaling a new customer. His welcoming smile quickly formed on his lips at the sight of a returning customer.

“Hi, are you getting flowers for your girlfriend again?” Eunkwang greeted but the customer shook his head.

“No,” he smiled. “I’m getting for my mom this time. No special occasion though. I just wanted to give her flowers. Do you have anything you can recommend?”

Eunkwang thought hard about it. “Can you tell me some things about her?”

A fond look fell over the customer’s eyes as he thought about his mom. “She’s poised and really polite to other people. She may seem the quiet type of person but she’s always full of surprises,”

“I have the perfect bouquet in mind. Please wait a moment,”

The florist quickly went around his shop as he picked out flowers for the arrangement. Once he was done, Eunkwang proudly handed the bouquet which was primarily built around the flower Alstroemeria.

“The Alstroemeria basically represents the personality of your mom. I added other flowers too to highlight the Alstroemeria,”

The customer beamed when he reached for the bouquet. “It does look somehow like my mom’s personality,” he chuckled.

Eunkwang waved as the customer left, a light feeling in his heart once again.

The day continued on. Once in a while, he’d look towards the dark shop beside his. Even when he was starting to close his shop for the day, he thought about his neighboring worker. Eunkwang wondered if he’d been too harsh on the tattoo artist. After the incident, he started rethink all the good deeds that Minhyuk was trying to do. Maybe he really was being a nice guy.

‘Maybe I judged him too much because he’s practically the opposite of me,’ Eunkwang thought. ‘His shop is too dim and dark while mine radiates and is open for everyone to see what’s inside. His music preference is too loud for my ears as compared to mine which soothes the soul. He’s too friendly to everyone and he’s not afraid to open conversations with strangers while I find it difficult to interact with just anyone,’

His train of thought was cut off when Eunkwang passed by his shop. The door was open enough for Minhyuk’s loud music to blast through and for Eunkwang to be able to see inside. Annoyance was starting to build up inside the florist the longer he stood there. Once again, the tattoo artist was disturbing the neighborhood with his loud music.

Eunkwang almost rolled his eyes when he heard grunting along with the music. ‘If he was going to do some private sessions, he should close his door and not rely on his loud music to drown out his grunting,’ the florist bitterly thought. Aside from annoyance, there was a bit of jealousy that was bubbling inside him.

Shaking his head, he went on ahead but he still took a peek inside, curiosity fueling his actions. The sight almost made him laugh as all the negative emotions he felt vanished.

Inside, Minhyuk was dancing along to the music. It was a funny sight to watch because it looked like he was just waving his body along with the beat. His grunts seemed to be like low humming instead.

For the first time since their paths crossed, Eunkwang smiled at Minhyuk.

Since then, Eunkwang would be softly chuckling whenever he sees Minhyuk. It confused the tattoo artist greatly but to be honest, he preferred seeing Eunkwang laughing at him instead of his eyebrows furrowing and eyes filling with annoyance. It made the tattoo artist smile as he thought that maybe this was a start for them.

“Good morning,” Minhyuk smiled at Eunkwang as he walked by his flower shop. The florist was carrying a sack of fertilizer and it seemed like he was having a hard time. Of course, Minhyuk immediately volunteered himself and immediately helped carry the sack. The tattoo artist was expecting Eunkwang to brush him off. Instead, all he heard was a stifled laugh.

Eunkwang wanted to tell him off but the image of Minhyuk dancing around stopped him. It took all of his effort to not laugh and drop the sack. The look on Minhyuk’s face made it harder. He appeared so confused but he didn’t look annoyed at all.

“Okay, Thumbelina,” Minhyuk chuckled as he shifted his weight to just one foot. “You’re been laughing at me for almost a week now. What is it?”

The nickname usually threw the florist off but this time, it made him feel happy that it was a name reserved just for him. His heart stirred once again, just like that time when he fell into his arms.

“N-Nothing,” Eunkwang huffed, trying to go back to his previous attitude.

Minhyuk rolled his eyes at the other man’s pretense. “Come on, let’s get this inside your shop,”

“It’s fine, I can do it,” he gently said, unlike in their previous exchanges when he would snap at the artist. It surprised both of them but they kept it to themselves. It was a welcomed change for both the two males.

Eunkwang gestured Minhyuk towards the backdoor that led to the storage.

“I’ll take it,” Minhyuk didn’t offer any room for argument as he shifted all the weight of the sack towards him.

Eunkwang was too surprised to argue. He was in awe that it was possible to do something like that. The florist almost blushed when he realized that he was thinking of how manly Minhyuk is. He shook his head as he let Minhyuk bring the fertilizer while he opened the radio to the local station.

He almost choked on air when the station suddenly played the song Minhyuk was dancing to. Eunkwang forgot that today’s radio program was pop and dance.

“Oh no,” he softly laughed as the image on Minhyuk dancing popped in his mind again. It didn’t help that the said man suddenly appeared in front of him. Not able to take it anymore, the florist finally laughed his heart out.

It took a while but Minhyuk finally realized what was happening. He was dumbfounded but at the same time, he was amused.

“You…,” he shook his head, “You saw me dancing.” It wasn’t even a question anymore and his suspicions were confirmed when the florist laughed harder.

“You’re not as graceful but maybe I should call you Ballerina now,” Eunkwang snickered as he looked at the man in front of him.

Minhyuk couldn’t help but smile brightly as he shook his head while repeating the word ‘ballerina’. It was against his image but if Eunkwang gave him that nickname, who was he to argue? The artist believed that the nickname was a step forward into this friendship or maybe something more in the future.

On the other hand, Eunkwang had to stop laughing because he was taken aback by the smile Minhyuk showed. His heart raced once again. He pursed his lips as he just stared at Minhyuk. There, he started seeing the tiny details in his face.

‘Maybe he’s not so bad after all,’ Eunkwang thought.