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He’s cunty I fear
#the cigarette???#like you’re fucking joking at that point#like how am I meant to cope???#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE LAUGH LOVE IN THESE CONDITIONS#matty healy#the 1975
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Me, realizing how I use ISAT to cope because I relate to Siffrin a little too much because I too can't remember jack and I have horrible memory, but then there's Bonnie who I also relate to:
IM DYING OVER HERE
#in stars and time#isat#finding healthy ways to cope#i mean- healthier than just rotting in bed all day#i haven't felt real#yet i have#i dont feel like myself#yet i do#and how am i meant to cope when im stuck between the two#stuck between feeling real and not#stuck between feeling like I AM myself but not beings myself#if that makes sense
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Sorry im not focusing on anything else in the sider order trailer we have motherfucking ahato god damn mizuta as a reap tsngible character who will speak to us for an extended amount of time. I asked nintendo for a crumb and they gave me an entire thanksgiving dinner what am i meant to do with this
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hey uh just as a reminder if you’re polyamorous/non-monogamous and you don’t allow your very monogamous partner the chance to leave the relationship if they find it doesn’t work for them and they’re not okay with the relationship dynamic then you’re a shit human being
#ari announces#long story but there’s this overarching Tension going on in this server i’m in and god. the way that monog partner is manipulated makes me#feel fucking sick. how selfish do you have to be to make someone just be okay with your relationship style#it’s all crocodile tears in there so often that i can’t even feel bad. they’re so horrible about it#and i’m just trying to find the right words to say ‘hey uh. why is no one else confused that the monog partner can’t leave’#wow! how strange!! i’ve never met two ppl more selfish in my life doing a relationship style meant to dissolve that#i just. god. if ur partner isn’t satisfying u or if ur not happy with where the relationship is going u should be allowed to leave. no ifs#ands or buts. and honestly while we’de at it don’t force ur monog partner to therapy bc u think she needs it to cope w u doing whatever u#want. and ignoring her needs. it’s fucking moronic. and then they’re SHOCKED when they run into issues and problems#like am i an idiot??? am i just not seeing smth i should be??? i feel insane abt this like genuinely#no one else fucking says anything and i’m going to when the time comes. if smth comes up again. i’ve had enough of seeing this#selfish awful behavior of not wanting to let someone go if they want to leave. it’s fucking gross
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victor hugo writes pretty good exr fanfic. did u guys know this . i wld def suggest checking out some of his stuff
#i mean ive def read better soo#like war exists ykw so vicky cld try harder… but yeah he does ok i guess#no but fr guys how am i meant to cope after learning the ‘enjolras disdains me’ context AND THE FULL LINES HELLO#lucy reads the brick#on my own.#exr#les mis
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#everything about how 1d meant the most to liam#they all said he was the one out of any of them who was actually a professional#he cared so much and it was his dream to be a famous musician since he was a kid#kinda a cruel twist of fate that he ended up being the least favorite of the 5 of them#and his solo career was the least successful by far…….#i can see how seeking fame and external validation is dangerous#because it’s so fickle.#idk I just think in comparison to someone like Harry who despite his crazy levels of fame seems more grounded#because he has a good support system. Like I think of Anne and Gemma#(not saying that Harry doesn’t struggle with fame and I’m sure his life is darker than we see)#but yeah#like the fact that Liam’s parents and especially his dad wanted this lifestyle for him too#it just seems like so much pressure and then for it not to be going well for him at all#for his record label to drop him#etc etc#who wouldn’t be messed up from that?#like I personally am the queen of unhealthy coping so maybe I can empathize more idk.#nothing excuses his abusive behavior but you can see how it all spiraled out of control#once you start misusing drugs and alcohol your life can get out of hand so quickly#and even the thing about his PR rep dropping him within the past few weeks#it seems like he had NO ONE looking out for him#and that is so scary.#liam payne
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WHO MADE THIS BOT
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what’s the difference between anxiety and like actual legitimate social anxiety. bc the immediate overwhelm amongst large groups of people that makes my vision blurry and my brain shut down so I’m so sleepy it’s like I’ll pass out seems like a Bit Much if I’m being fr
#‘oh no! too much to handle!! knock em out!!’ like this is not normal coping#or it is but it makes the situation Worse. how am I meant to pretend to be normal when I can’t even keep my eyes open#pho.posts#is it the immediate energy drain from 100 to 0 or. what is this#has anyone heard of this…
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It's amazing how oft times healing doesn't change who you are, but helps you like who are better.
#I went to therapy today#and my therapist was congratulating how much progress I've made#and I was thinking#'Yeah I am doing so much better but sometimes it doesn't feel like it because I still feel the same'#and I'm kind of realizing#that's because I am the same#I'm the same person who started this journey I'm just better at coping with my emotions and anxiety#like I always had this ideal version of me#I think everyone does#this person who is always right and brave and never upset or lets other people get to her#this person that is perfect and worthy of love#and like#I thought healing meant becoming that person#and I won't speak for everyone's journey#but at least for me#healing is not becoming that person#but realizing the flawed person you are right now#is a already worthy of love and happiness#and learning how to love them and seek happiness#and least that is part of the journey#and I'm glad I'm making it
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looking at the scar on my arm everyday feels like a reminder im never going to be ok, im never going to be human i ruined it after all the years i held myself back i finally severed the line i had at any chance of one day belonging
#ill never be able to roll up my sleeve i have to be extra on guard 24/7 i just make everything worse n worse n worse#i feel grosser everyday#i am more consumed by rot everyday#there will be nothing left#i cant sleep im just stuck laying here and Thinking#i feel like im filled with sticky gravel and nothing else#i am so deeply unclean no matter what i do ill never be clean#i will never have a place#i will never be safe#i can only hide i will never be able to exist like i yearn to#i wonder if i ever did have a chance#i never could even as a kid#even as a toddler i was always scared i was always miserable#i dont think i was meant 2 live#i keep thinking i can but its too much#im too tired#its too scary its too much energy#i dont know how#even if i got the job from that email id just get worse id just feel worse#i cant exist socially i dont know how#id just be a boring mute mess everyone hates and id feel awful n get worse like i always have#how i always end up isolating instead because i dont know how to exist#i dont know how to be a person#and it feels awful#it hurts#i have always just told myself if only i can get thin enough maybe ill be easier to deal with as a cope#maybe ill take up less space n be less of an annoyance to everyone#if i have nothing to offer maybe i can just. vanish#maybe people would like me#maybe i could belong
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hi happy pride 🏳️🌈 (dc fan pride month starts a day early because we are cool 👍). i look away for like a month and the miguel o'hara spider-man tag turns into 90% reader fanfiction posts. What is happening dude
#quack quack#how am i meant to brave the mines now#MAAAAN. maybe when the movie releases (coping)#be warned im back on my bs with him and MAYBE moon knight#(just ordered the lemire mk collection and preordered 2099 dark genesis tpb)#also i picked up the dc pride stuff today thumbs up#apparently nobody at my comic shop preordered the oscar vega cover w jules. Okay it's fine.#i want to draw pride art but this class is kicking my health's ass#so we'll see#i already have something thumbnailed but shrug#it's for nightwing#if i can only draw one thing this month i'd like it to be tim or kon but#i do reaaally wanna draw my nightwing thing#I don't know. Help
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you think you're fine going to the doctor then BOOM that evening you remember every dubious thing that's ever happened to you
#clyde.txt#plus that ''do you get compliments'' poll already had me reeling like No i barely get compliments unless i ask#yet it's clear people feel entitled to me and are not afraid to take advantage and i wish i could kill people. esp doctors i hate doctors.#ppl do this to anyone bc they're addicted to hurting ppl but my brain rationalizes it as my beauty is what gets me put in these positions#but i know that's just not true or only how that works but it's just like i don't ever even know how to feel about myself#or what to do with myself 😭😭😭😭#i cope by going miq kinnie moment. i am also (kind of) blonde and look too young and ppl are weird to me.#sorry i did not meant to vent this much but this is my diary i need to post this for 3 hours then delete it. my therapy
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So after that 3 hour examination I had Ive now gotta wait until early may to get results and I’m just expected to be chill about it and live my life like normal as if I’m not waiting for potentially the most important news of my life
#obviously I can’t tell what it is but it’s literally like#if the result is positive it’s literally life changing#how am I meant to just go about my day like this!!!! for two fucking weeks!!!!#so far I’ve been coping by being in a sort of art frenzy today
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I shouldnt be surprised that youre a chuuya fan 💔💔💔 /j
you’re right. you should not be surprised
#i love you nakahara chuuya you’re the whole reason i started bsd. you’re the reason i like it still.#i don’t know what the plot is but i do know that chuuya shows up sometimes and that is reason enough#my friend asked me how i managed to get through the slow parts of the show and that was the only answer i had#i said “the characters”. but what i meant was ch💥💥💥#anyway.#why are you in my walls 💔#the wig came today#it looks good now i spent like all day styling it 🗣️🗣️🗣️#i will put together the whole outfit . eventually. but i am lazy and tired right now#and i can’t find my waistcoat 😭 or my choker 😭#soon….. soon………. gnawing at the bars of my cage#If Chuuya has a million fans then I am one of them. If Chuuya has ten fans then I am one of them.#If Chuuya has only one fan then that is me.#If Chuuya has no fans then that means I am no longer on earth. If the world is against Chuuya then I am against the world.#i love short people 🤞🤞🤞 (coping)#IM LOSINH IT#pleas…..
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Another a Posteriori Language lmao
Okay so I now have another conlanging project on the go - it's an East Germanic language spoken in North Africa, set in a timeline where the Vandals never left the area and became heavily influenced by both Arabic and the Amazigh languages (primarily Chaouïa and Kabyle). The language is called Endels Luha. Here is a section of the Bible in Endels Luha and the only other largely attested East Germanic language, Gothic, for comparison. Enjoy! (btw I'm not Christian just the only complete Gothic texts we have are Bible verses)
Matthew 16:33
English: These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
Endels Luha: (وندلس لغة) þa-þa esus ruðða, þa jūs en mes salām maġeð habā. En þam ālame, agluns bīs habā, oc fsu þrafste; ec onn þan ālam.
/θa θa ˈɛ.sus ˈruð.ða , θa jus ɛn mɛs saˈlam ˈma.d͡ʒɛð̥ (h)aˈba . ɛn θam ˈa.la.mɛ , ˈag.luns bis (h)aˈba , ɔk fsu ˈθraf.stɛ ; ɛk ɔn θan ˈa.lam/ ثث اسس ردد، ث ي ان مس سلام مجد هبا. ان ثم عالم، اجلنس بيس هبا، وک فسو ثرفست؛ ك ون ثن عالم
Gothic: þata rodida izwis, þei in mis gawairþi aigeiþ. in þamma fairƕau aglons habaid; akei þrafsteiþ izwis, ik gajiukaida þana fairƕu. /θa.ta roː.di.da iz.wis , θiː in mis ga.wɛr.θi ɛ.giːθ . in θam.ma fɛr.ʍɔ ag.loːns ha.bɛd ; a.kiː θraf.stiːθ iz.wis , ik ga.jiu.kɛ.da θa.a fɛr.ʍu/ 𐌸𐌰𐍄𐌰 𐍂��𐌳𐌹𐌳𐌰 𐌹𐌶𐍅𐌹𐍃, 𐌸𐌴𐌹 𐌹𐌽 𐌼𐌹𐍃 𐌲𐌰𐍅𐌰𐌹𐍂𐌸𐌹 𐌰𐌹𐌲𐌴𐌹𐌸. 𐌹𐌽 𐌸𐌰𐌼𐌼𐌰 𐍆𐌰𐌹𐍂𐍈𐌰𐌿 𐌰𐌲𐌻𐍉𐌽𐍃 𐌷𐌰𐌱𐌰𐌹𐌳; 𐌰𐌺𐌴𐌹 𐌸𐍂𐌰𐍆𐍃𐍄𐌴𐌹𐌸 𐌹𐌶𐍅𐌹𐍃, 𐌹𐌺 𐌲𐌰𐌾𐌹𐌿𐌺𐌰𐌹𐌳𐌰 𐌸𐌰𐌽𐌰 𐍆𐌰𐌹𐍂𐍈𐌿.
#i literally have no idea#if i transcribed the gothic vowels correctly#how am i meant to tell if it's ai or ái or aí like bro#idk how tolkien coped tbh#constructed language#conlang#worldbuilding#translation#language#gospel of matthew#langblr#gothic#gothic language#linguistics#germanic#germanic languages
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today i've rediscovered the fact that spencer reid is 24 (in the first season of criminal minds) and i am NO okay
#WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN I'M THE SAME AGE AS HIM NOW????#this feels so wrong. someone please stop the passage of time#i can't remember when i started watching cm but it had to be like 10 years ago#what do you *mean* i'm suddenly *the same age as the protagonists*?????#(or at least one special protagonist)#IN A YEAR I WILL BE OLDER THAN REID IN S1#HOW AM I MEANT TO COPE WITH HIS#[lies of floor & cries]#own#the sergeant speaks#criminal minds
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