#like i was SO worried that his fight with emma would get him eliminated which would have been AWFUL

[courtney-deserved-better]

i will say again and again how DELIGHTED i am that priya won. but i am also delighted that she and bowie made it to the finale together. about halfway through my initial watch of the season i just kinda went “oh it has to be them in the final two. it HAS to be” and for once in my life total drama agreed!! because it couldn’t be anyone else it HAD to be them!! and it was!!

[greenygreenland]

Dream A Little Dream of Me: Norman x Reader (part four)

-part four because I couldn’t fit everything in part three-i went overboard, I’m sorry

-please enjoy I worked a month on getting this out, haha. it is a labour of tears and love.

---->PREVIOUS PART <-----

Summary: You need your memories back. But how will you get them?

Gracefield House

Not a single soul moved for what felt like centuries. The moment Ray, Gilda and Don arrived at the scene, it was clear that nothing else could be done. Mama smiled at her children viciously. She wasn’t here to play nice any longer. Today, she was the hunter and her children the prey.

“It was a clean break. She will recover smoothly,” Mama curtly announced. “And Norman?” You didn’t like the way she looked at him, or the way her grip seemed to tighten on your limp arms. Her gaze dangerously narrowed and she said, “Your shipment date has been set.”

Your heart stopped. Norman’s shipment date had been set? No, that couldn’t be. Your plan required at least another week until everything fell into place. Norman was the core of it all. Without him, what would you do?

And speaking of which, he was going to die. Die. Die. Die. He was going to die.

You squirmed in Mama’s grasp, hoping--praying that you could maneuver around this. Norman wasn’t going to die. You wouldn’t let him.

“Let me--let me go!”

It was reckless and it was stupid to think he’d be able to evade Mama’s sight just like that, but you had to try.  Didn’t Emma say you’d all leave here together?

“Norman--!”

He blinked as if he’d woken up from a long dream. He forced himself to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. Don’t struggle.

Don’t struggle? How did he expect you to sit around and do nothing? If anyone should be shipped out first, it should be you. Why? Because you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you let any of your family go.

Mama glared down at you with a cold smile. “You can’t fight me more than you can stop the sun from setting,” she said, heaving you higher off the ground. Your leg hit Mama’s arm and a cry escaped your lips. Norman flinched and Emma stood frozen in place.

You were always the strong one, not Emma, not Ray, and not Norman. Because you were one of the eldest, it was your responsibility to be the shoulder to cry on and to stand when no one else could. To see you holding back tears and gritting your teeth tight enough to make your gums bleed made Norman’s little heart break.

He didn’t care about his shipment date. All he wanted was to see you safe.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of faces, voices and regrets. The sharp pain in your leg long faded, leaving only a dull throb that stayed as a reminder of your failure. Yes, that was what you were, right? You couldn’t complete the plan even with Don, Gilda and Ray distracting Mama. You were pathetic. A waste of space.

The door creaked open and you sat up a little straighter. You smiled at the trio as they entered the room. “Hey guys.”

“How are you feeling?” inquired Norman. He took a seat by your bedside and gave your hand a gentle squeeze. Ray pulled up another chair. He hid his face behind his fringe to conceal his grim frown. It didn’t work though, and you merely smiled at him. He huffed irritably, as if he didn’t want you to know he worried so much.

“I didn’t think she’d go that far.” Ray quietly muttered. You knitted your brows together with a absentminded shrug. “And to think I was that close to getting her watch.”

Emma’s shoulders sagged. “I wish I had--”

“It’s fine Emma.” you said with a warm smile. “Broken bones heal, it’s not permanent.” She wrapped you in a tight embrace and you rubbed her back comfortingly. It was hard to look her in the eye anyway. The sadness she tried so hard to force down only added to your guilt, and you weren’t sure if you could think straight with all the regret.

“I’m sorry this happened.” you began. “Now that I’m hurt, you’re worrying for me.”

Emma pulled away as Norman gave a firm shake of his head. “None of this is anyone’s fault.” he stated. "None of us saw that coming, and even if we did, I’m not sure we’d be any good outwitting Mama on the spot like that.” He offered a gentle smile that made you feel just a little bit better.

-----

(University name), DAY TWO

Class went by rather quickly today, and maybe that was because you were sure you’d seen similar material before. Each answer came easily along with each mark on your paper like a memory from long ago. You’ve answered harder questions, much more difficult tests that held more weight than a simple grade.

“I was impressed by your extensive knowledge on world history,” said Mr. Baker. He was the world history teacher. Unlike the others, he was young, perhaps in his mid twenties. In the hour you’ve gotten to know him and the class, you’ve come to realise he’s a class favourite. For good reason, too. His jokes were phenomenal, the material entertaining, and the atmosphere, friendly.

It was like having a conversation between friends rather than teacher to student.

“Do you know what school you went to before you came here?” he inquired. You shook your head. “No. I don’t think I went to any school before this actually...but I’m not sure. I wish I knew, sorry Mr. Baker.” He offered a warm smile. “Maybe my jokes will remind you of something. In the mean time, don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’ll remember eventually.”

Eventually. You didn’t want to remember ‘eventually’. Living a life of ignorance was difficult as it was, why should you continue it? You adjusted your grip on a notebook and said, “See you tomorrow Mr. Baker.”

“Same to you, Letha.”

The cafeteria wasn’t hard to find. Students crowded in the hallways, pushing and shoving as they stuck close to hurry towards for their meals. You didn’t care much for the food. There wasn’t any way it could measure up to your, or Gramps’s, cooking anyway.

“Letha!”

You spun around as much as you could in the congested hall. Flanna raised a hand above her head and waved. She didn’t even try to hide the fact that she was looking for you. “Letha, you comin’?” There was no way out of avoiding the red-head. She had too much energy, and an eerily observant eye hidden under her smile.

“Hello to you too, Flanna.” you said, matching her step. Flanna grinned brightly. “Are you excited for lunch? My first day here, I thought it’d taste terrible. You’d be surprised how good it is, but maybe that’s because the school’s expensive.” She let out a snort that was lost to the chatter of the crowd.

The cafe wasn’t all too big. Despite the long tables stretching out across the floor, and the high ceilings and tall windows, it felt small. Crowded. The sheer amount of teens gathered in one area was daunting, scary even. It made your head spin, and your stomach lurch in disgust.

Was this what everyone dealt with every single day? How could they do it? This was madness.

Flanna patted your shoulder and led you towards the lunch line. “You get used to it after a while. Can’t say I have, but it’s not so bad.” She handed you a cup of fruit from a large cooler. You watched as she did the same and instructed the lunch lady on exactly what she wanted.

You copied her. It was all you could do to prevent embarrassing yourself.

Once you found a table, a long sigh left your lips. “That was actually...a bit stressful.” Flanna chuckled good-naturedly. “Oh, I get it, you’re shy, aren’t you? I had a friend like that back in ninth grade when I still lived in the countryside. Couldn’t even go in line without help from me.”

“What happened to that friend?”

“Moved away. Lots of people do. They like the city because it’s “full of opportunity”.” Flanna rolled her eyes. “I think it depends on what you want. I’d prefer a quiet life where all I have to do is take care of a farm. You know, sheep, chicken, cows. It’s easy because the only person who’s your boss is you.”

Flanna clearly didn’t favour modern life as much as her peers. She went on about the difficulties of technology and how they were “nothin’ but trouble” for simple folk. You couldn’t say much about that, but you wish you understood.

The rest of the day went by in a flash. It turned out, your last three classes were with Flanna. She didn’t talk as much in class, but she asked you a lot of questions about why you knew so much. Of course, you couldn't remember, but she didn’t know that. She didn’t know who you truly were.

FIVE MONTHS LATER

The setting sun illuminated the sides of your face as you glared at the frosty grass below your winter boots. You stood outside, wrapped tightly in your thick, fur coat. It was Gramps’s daughter’s before yours, so it smelled like him. The forest. A cosy fireplace. Hot chocolate. It did little to comfort your aching heart, and maybe that was because a part of it was still missing.

Standing in the last rays of sun reminded you of that boy with light hair and kind eyes. It reminded you of his touch that refused to leave your mind. He was scorched there like an emblem on wood.

“So why can’t I remember you?” Your words were lost to the harsh, frosty breezes. “Who are you to me?” He wasn’t family, that much you knew, nor a friend either. He was much more. Much closer to your heart than either of those.

-----

This wasn't a massacre. It was the shambles of a bloody war.

The remnants of limbs and broken bones lay strewn across the throne room, where pools of crimson stained the tile flooring with its iron stench. Part of you wished you hadn’t opened the door, and another said it was your fault for letting everything get this far.

Would you have been able to stop Norman if you ran faster? If you had stopped him earlier?

Your stomach flopped and turned. The smirk painted on Norman’s lips wasn’t right. It wasn’t him. He was satisfied, not with the massacre, but with how perfectly his plan had been executed. It played out like a game of chess. Each pawn he sent out had been eliminated, leaving only the most powerful pieces on the checkered board.

“I’m sorry,” Norman said. “It’s too late (Y/n).”

He wasn’t sorry and he sure didn’t feel an ounce of guilt for lying to you. Or at least, that was what you wanted to believe. Every fibre in your body screamed at you to run at him, slap him to the moon and back, or beat him to a pulp for lying and cheating you all. Yet you couldn’t do it. Not with the way he kept his eyes to the floor.

“I’m so glad you made it back safely,” he added. “It’s a shame you were a little too late.” Your gaze lingered on his for a moment longer before you cast it to Ray and Emma. They stood strong with you, yet you had a feeling they wanted to waver just as much as you.

Emma stared at the sticky crimson under her boot, eyes wide in disbelief. “They’ve...they’ve all been...?”

“Killed.” Norman plainly finished. “They killed each other and they’re all dead now. The Queen, the nobles, the Giran clan. All of them.” Despite the pleasant way he spoke, you had a feeling he didn’t mean it. The Norman you grew up with--no--the Norman you knew wasn’t like this. He was kind. Gentle. Sweet. He cared for everyone and everything, which was why he chose to be shipped out in the first place.

And why he always chose to be the sacrifice.

You heaved in a deep breath. If this were the reality of your situation, you had to accept it. Ignoring Norman for who he was and what he did wouldn’t do a thing.

“I reforged the Promise.” You made your way across the room, eyes straight and head held high. The smug glint in Norman’s eyes vanished.

“Everybody can escape to the human world and no one needs to fight. You don’t have to kill anymore, it’s over.” That was what you wanted to believe with every fibre of your being. But was it really all over? Could you escape to the human world and leave this place after what’s happened?

Norman shook his head, as if he knew exactly what you were thinking.

“It’s too late for that.” he plainly said. “No, it’s impossible. A monarchy that has lasted thousands of years has collapsed. Governance for the demons is impossible now. So is peace.” He glanced at the lifeless body behind him. “Iverk was the last one, and I killed him myself.”

You stiffened.

“We’ve put a lethal fissure in the demon society. A fissure that can’t be mended. All that’s left to do is,” he threw out a careless hand, “shatter it. All of the demons will die out. There’s just one more factor left. We can’t go back now. We have no choice but to wipe them out.” He straightened and it was like you were staring at a different person. There was no kindness in his eyes, or that light that you’ve relied on to keep you waking up every morning. “Don’t get in the way.”

You clenched a fist. “No.” Your voice came out strong, reassuring. “What is the point in wiping out a whole race just because we can’t see eye-to-eye? There’s hope and I’ve finally grasped it! For thousands of years, there’s been a cycle of slaughter and war that we have to break. I don’t plan on standing back, and I don’t plan on letting you become more of a murderer!”

Norman’s eyes were dark from under his cloak. “(Y/n)...”

You stood your ground. Defying him was the only way you could stay strong, the only way you could convince him. “We’ll find a way together! It’s not going to be easy, but I know we can do it!”

“(Y/n)...!”

“I’m not letting you sacrifice yourself again and I’m not letting you do this alone!”

Norman’s tight expression relaxed into an uncomfortably serene smile. “What are you talking about?” he lightly inquired. “Didn’t I tell you? I’m not going anywhere.”

You heaved in a sharp breath because he stopped telling you the whole truth ages ago. He stopped relying on you because he thought he had to do everything alone. “I can’t trust you. You’re a liar! You think you can fool me? I know something’s wrong with you, you’re just trying to hide it! Don’t underestimate the family you grew up with, stupid Norman. We can see through all your lies and tricks!”

You thought back to the day you walked into his office alone.

I know you Norman, don’t forget that.

It had been too long since you’d seen him and thought him dead. Too long since you were able to hold his hands in yours.

And because I love you, I don’t want to see you destroy yourself.  

It was nice to see him again, yet there was something off about him. He hadn’t changed much besides growing as tall as a tree.

I admit, I don’t know why you act like you’re going to leave again...

The only difference was the hesitance in his stance. As if he were trying to hide something very painful in his chest.

...but I’ll do everything in my power to stop you.  

Then he left your words open-ended, as if he knew he couldn’t possibly lie to your face like that. He knew you saw through him from the start. It was only a matter of time before he acknowledged it.

“Doesn’t it hurt?” you slowly inquired. “Because you’re so smart, you chose the reliable path. Because you’re so kind, you shoulder all the burden. I know you Norman, didn’t I tell you? You don’t want to slaughter the demons! And you don’t want to wipe them out either!”

That was the truth that shone in your heart. You wanted to believe in Norman because he always believed in you. If he didn’t then he wouldn’t have allowed you to go the Seven Walls. If he didn’t, then he wouldn’t have allowed you to walk without him.

“You shouldn’t lie to yourself,” you added. “What are you hiding? What are you so afraid of?” He raised a brow challengingly. “Afraid?” Norman wanted to laugh. “I’m not...”

“The Norman in front of me looks like a scared child.” You said it like it was fact, and judging by the way Norman’s gaze unfocused, you were right. He wasn’t just scared, he was terrified. Of the consequences, of how you would look at him again, of how the blood would never, ever wash off.

But it was okay, right? He was strong. Just a little longer and it would all be over.

You took a step forward. Norman firmly held out a hand. “Don’t come any closer.” His voice was void of any emotion, cold even. “I’ve come this far. I have no intention of turning back now.”

“Well that’s too bad!” you exclaimed. “Because neither do I! I’m not letting you go this time!” You grasped his hands in yours, giving it a firm squeeze.

“Yes, you’re strong, yes you’re smart and you’re amazing and all those great things, but you’re stupid too! And arrogant! Can’t you see that you aren’t alone? Don’t be afraid to believe in us! We’re here to share everything. The tough, the burden, the painful things and the scary!”

Emma nodded in agreement. “Yeah, we’ve done that since day one. It’s what we’re here for!” Ray locked gazes with Norman. He wasn’t about to be left out of this, not after Norman’s little stunt back in Grace Field. “Don’t be so reserved either,” he added. “Just spill it!”

You squeezed his hands tighter and stood a little closer. “You don’t need to protect us anymore! We want to walk with you, not behind you!” Answers were simple, but the journey was everlasting and dangerous. You understood what it took to get here even if you weren’t walking in Norman’s shoes. It was difficult. Terrifying. But with all the accomplishments under your belt?

It was time to reunite with him.

“Your family and siblings are your friends.” added Ray. “We don’t want a future where you end up suffering no matter what the result is. And you? What do you want? What do you want to do, Norman?”

He pulled away and the warmth left your hands. “No, it’s no good.” he stated. “You’re already too late. I’m...I’m in a place where I just can’t go back. You can’t walk alongside me--”

“We know.” you interjected. Emma nodded. “About the poison, Mujika and Sonju...”

“And the experiment in the basement.” added Ray. A hopeful smile inched itself onto your lips. “See? We’re not too late. It’s okay to be vulnerable. If you’re the real Norman, then let’s lose our way together. Let’s struggle too, and laugh.” You held out a hand and Emma and Ray joined you.

“Let’s live together.”

Norman didn’t struggle to keep his cool. You re-called the look in his eyes, the same one you saw that night he was told his shipment date. He cried, not just because he chose to get shipped out, but because he was scared. For you. For himself. For his family.

That stifling look of serenity washed off his face. His lips trembled, his shoulders shook, and his eyes watered. You all wrapped each other in a tight embrace. No one deserved to face all the ages of time on their own, no matter what it was, and more than anything, you’d do that for him.

“But...” Norman’s voice trembled. “It’s too late. It's pointless because of the drugs we were forced to take. We don’t have much longer left to live--we can’t live on.” He collapsed to his knees in a heap. “Help me... (Y/n), Emma, Ray... Please...”

That was when all the puzzles finally fit. After laying in wonder for so long with thoughts that kept you awake until the sun rose, you understood. The hesitance in his walk. The way he tried to hide his sluggish step. The way he acted like he was running out of time.

“You’re dying.” The words left your lips before you could even stop them. “It’s...the drugs from Lambda, right?” Norman tried to suppress a sob, but it came out in a way that sounded like he was chocking on his own lies and tears. You took a knee, gently placing a hand on his cheek. “Oh, Norman.”

He couldn’t stand the soft look in your eyes, or the tone in your voice that was like a warm summer breeze. You should have yelled at him. Should have stamped your foot against the ground and growled and slapped him. Yet you knelt in front of him, caressing his dampened cheeks with a touch that said it would all be okay.

Norman wouldn’t look at you--no--he refused to because he was just as you said: a liar. Why were you so kind to him when all he did was lie? He said he’d let you go to the Seven Walls. He said he’d wait for you. He said he wasn’t going anywhere and that he’d live, laugh and do everything to be there with you, for you.

Norman wondered what a murderer like him ever did to deserve you.

-----

The grass crunched under your feet. Towards the brick walls you walked, following the sun as it lowered deeper and deeper towards the ground. You had to keep reaching for it. You had to see it.

In times of trouble, it was your beacon of hope, the last bit of your old life you were sure you could recall. No matter where you were, it was always the first thing you followed. Towards the light. Towards that ray of hope.

You came to a stop at the edge of the school grounds, right where the gates separated you from the outside world bustling with life. The occasional car zoomed through the streets, interrupting the quiet air with its incessant honking and screeching.

The sun disappeared over the horizon, bathing the skies in navy blue and purple.

“Excuse me.”

The voice was light, warm, polite.

“You should really hurry home. It’s not safe out here at this time, especially since we’re students.”

You stuffed your cold hands in your pockets. “I really appreciate your concern,” --you turned to face him-- “but I’m fine. Thank you.”

A boy with light hair and kind eyes met your gaze. Something about him reminded you of something--no--someone. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but the boy did. He’d never forget you, no matter how many lifetimes he lived.

“(Y/n)?” He was breathless, frozen in time as you awkwardly knitted your brows together. (Y/n) wasn’t your name. It was Letha, the name Gramps gave to you because you couldn’t remember your own.

Your confused frown made the boy’s eyes well with tears. You stared, watching as he slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle a pained sob. He was a student here just like you, sporting the traditional sweater vest, white button-up with a tie, and black slacks to match. You’ve never seen him before, yet he looked so...familiar.

Gosh, why couldn’t you remember?

“It’s been over a year and,” he chocked, “I’ve looked everywhere. How could you--how could you do all that for us? You promised we’d live together, but you reforged the Promise and--and...”

The boy's knees wobbled, and out of instinct, you threw out your arms. He fell into you, right at the crook of your neck. You couldn’t see his face, but you knew his tears must have been frozen by now. It was cold out here.

“Are you okay?” Your voice was small, fearful almost. It made the boy cry harder. “I don’t know you, but why don’t we go inside? There should be a cafe down there, and they’re open late, so...”

“I’m sorry.”

You paused.

“I’m so sorry.” he echoed. “I wish I was there. I wish--I wish it were me--but instead...”

You patted his back as if you’d known him for a lifetime. Maybe you felt bad and that was why you hadn’t shoved him off, or maybe, it was because having him in your arms felt so right. Familiar in a way you couldn’t put into words.

Your gentle touch made the boy’s sobs relapse. He curled into you, wrapping his arms around your middle like you’d run away. Like you’d disappear. There was something so nostalgic about this hug and the way you both had your arms around each other.

It had happened before.

“The Promise,” the boy muttered, “you made it in exchange for--”

------

Bright, blue sky stretched out as far as the eye could see. It was beautiful, and oddly calm. Perhaps a little too calm. After running through a maze of illusions and riddles you struggled to solve, you arrived in this place. Alone. The ground was like water, and with each step you took, it rippled and fanned out.

Someone sat in the middle of this endless sky and water, hovering over it serenely.

“What is it you seek?” the demon inquired. You stepped forward. “I want to reforge the Promise.” The demon’s single eye gazed straight through you, as if you were nothing more than a sheet of paper held to the light. “Sure, (Y/n).”

You pursed your lips together. He was unnervingly calm, child-like even, and you had a feeling it had to do with his ‘reward’ after the promise.

“So what is it you seek?” questioned the demon. “You must give me a reward as well.”

Yes, that was the catch. But what could it be? This demon was a being higher than anyone in the land, a god that once split the world in two. He transcended time, yet remained relatively simple-minded and difficult to read.

“The reward,” the demon fiddled with an orb in his hands, “hmmm... It would have to be something important. Ambition. Desire. What someone longs for. What I would want is something important to the other party. Will you make a wish despite that?”

This was for more than your family and Norman. You had people relying on this one choice, this one Promise.

“Yes, I will make a wish despite that.”

It all meant more than the world to you. You had to liberate your family, the children who were raised like livestock and mass-produced like wild animals. And the mamas who fought to survive--you had to think about them too.

“I wish for all the cattle children to cross over...”

They didn’t choose that life of suffering. None of you did.  

“And after that, for it to be completely impossible to pass between the two worlds.”

The demon continued to stare. You stood strong and proud with the weight of all humans in this Neverland on your shoulders. If he granted your wish, then the tide would turn and you’d be able to save everyone and everything.

“I will grant that wish,” he said. “And the reward I want are your---”

----

“Memories?” The words fell from your lips in a hasty breath. More than anything, you valued finding them. It was the only missing piece in your heart. The last portion of the unsolved mystery.

This boy--whoever he was--talked about you like he knew you. Held you like you meant something. Said that name, (Y/n), like it were his life line. He pulled away with a sniffle, settling his hands on your shoulders with a loving touch.

“You don’t remember me.” He lifted a hand and raised it to place on your cheek. But he couldn’t touch you like he used to. Not when you looked at him like he was far away and out of your reach.

“You don’t remember me.” the boy quietly repeated. He began to pull away, but you grasped his hand in yours. It was warm, soft. “No, I...I’ve seen you before.” There was a pained look on the boy’s face, as if he thought you were lying to him.

“Haven’t we been through this before (Y/n)?”

No, said your mind. Yes, said your heart.

“You shouldn’t lie to yourself.”

Your grip tightened around his hand, but not enough to hurt him. “I...I do know you. You’re...” You shouldn’t lie to yourself. You shouldn’t lie to yourself. You shouldn’t lie to yourself. But you did know this boy, and all this time, you yearned to see him.

Remember.

Remember.

Who was he to you?

Who were you to him?

Remember.

Remember!

“I can’t remember your name,” your eyes welled up with cold tears, “but I know I’ve missed you all this time.” You pulled his hand to your cheek as he brought you close. The scent of parchment, aged books, and the woods. Yes, that was nostalgic, so much that it felt right. The final piece, fragmented and broken, began connecting again. It brought the dots and the gaps you tried so hard to fill together.

But something else was still missing.

The boy pulled your head to the crook of his neck and rocked you from side to side in the moonlight. Even the hazy streetlights were drowned out by the stars. You liked to think it was because this part of the city was quiet, isolated, from the rest of the world. And the rest of your worries.

“Norman.” he said.

You looked up at him.

“My name is Norman.”

“And mine is...(Y/n)?”

“Yes,” he said with a bittersweet smile. “I think the day I fell in love with you was when you got excited about something Ray told you. Ray is our family if you’re wondering, and so is Emma, and Gilda, Don...” He told you about people you once knew, and the life you once lived. Some parts he left out, and others he kept.

But you wouldn’t have known. Not when your memory laid in fragments.

“...And so we looked for you. I didn’t think you’d be here, but I’m glad you were.” He laid his chin on the top of your head. “You used to joke that I’d never be taller than you, but now I am.” A sad chuckle left his lips. “I wish things could be different and that you--”

Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted a flash of red hair. Your head began to pound and you nuzzled closer into Norman.

“What’s wrong?”

“My head hurts.”

He ran a hand through your locks, arms folded close around you as he hummed a sweet tune. It was sad, melancholy, and the only one you’d ever known your whole life. “I know that song.” you mumbled. Norman smiled softly. “Mama used to sing it to us all the time. When Ray had nightmares, she put him to sleep with this song.”

The pounding in your head increased and you squeezed your eyes shut. “I did too. I sang...to you.” Norman’s lips parted, but he settled on a nod and smiled instead. “You remember?”

“I think so.” The memory was hazy, as if someone were trying to make you forget for good. But you fought that urge, held on to the image of a room with white sheets and bed lined up side by side. “You were...talking to me...about a...I don’t know...”

“Go on.”

“You were crying late at night...so I...I sang to you.”

Norman kissed the top of your head. When he was in Lambda, locking in that room all alone running through test after test, he held fast to that memory. It kept him from giving up on what he fought for, and kicking the bucket for good.

“I missed you so much.” he wistfully whispered. “You can’t leave me again, or else you’ll break my heart for good.” You looked up to meet his watery eyes. “Why would I leave?” Norman shook his head. “It was in the Promise, wasn’t it? You can’t break it.”

The pounding began to fade. You tiredly smiled, but it was warm and thankful and happy. “That won’t stop me, Norman. I don’t think I could live without you.” He warmly chuckled, intertwining his hands with yours. “Me too.”

And it was then that you began to feel a little more complete, a little more you from then. You were sure you wouldn’t have to dream another little dream of your wodeerful Norman any longer, for he would be right by your side, where you both belonged.

You released his hands and cupped his cheek. It was a natural act you didn’t even have to think twice about. When you were you, you had done this more than a thousand times. Your lips connected in a sweet kiss. He tasted like coffee and tea rolled into one, and you had a feeling it was because he couldn’t choose which was better.

“I love you.” you said. He warmly smiled, but underneath, it was almost sly. “I love you too. Why don’t we do some catching up?”

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[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 110

~*~Emma~*~

I was very nervous about Sebastian's birthday. I wasn't at all sure about what he'd want to do, but I wanted to have plans. Luckily, Will was more than willing to help me out.

Toby telling Sebastian the nights' plans pissed me off. I had been trying very hard not to take his behavior personally. Some comments and the tone of his teasing were suspect. It felt a little like he was making fun of me for my fear of The Wall. It's hard to know if this is about me or he's just kind of an asshole. I leaned heavily toward asshole when he blew the surprise.

I tried to cover my anger with sarcasm. Me going off on Toby wouldn't help anything. It would make things worse. I used the bathroom break to take a moment alone to rant to myself then take a few deep breaths. Chace was trying to look like he wasn't waiting for me at the end of the decking. Unsuccessfully.

Chace slung his arm around my shoulder. "How angry are you?"

I held onto his waist, "Am I doing a shit job covering?" Fuck.

"No, you're good. It was a fucked up thing to do. I thought I'd give you a minute to bitch and cover you."

"Aren't you sweet." I was going to take him up on his offer. "I want to punch the asshole in his nuts. I get it if he doesn’t like me, but the surprise was about Sebastian. No reason to ruin it for him. I'm mad as a wet hen."

Chace laughed, "That's what my grama would say."

"Mine too."

"Ok, I know the key to calming you down. You ready?"

"Maybe?" He grabbed me from behind and half carried, half drug me across the sand toward the water. Instead of fighting to get away, I laughed. This was awesome. He hauled me into the ocean and tossed me away from him.

He stood there with his hands on his hips looking at me, "How you doing, Em?" He held out his hand.

I took his offered hand. "Good. Thank you."

Present time was anxiety producing too. First vacation with friends. First time meeting all but three of his friends. First birthday together. First presents. I feel like I know Sebastian very well. I know what scares him, what's hard for him, what makes him happy, what he likes to eat, how he runs, where he likes to sit to read and watch a movie, and which side of the bed is his. But I don't, I didn't, know what he'd want for and to do on his birthday. Will helped with plans, but not presents. I was on my own for that.

I don't know if I had him open them in increasing level of intensity for him or to give me time to prepare. I knew for certain the coupon for “Yes Day” would be fun and go over well. Ethan was right, it's not always about sex. It's a day to do exactly what you want without regard for anyone else. Being the one to choose often comes with worrying about others not actually agreeing or enjoying the activity. Yes Day eliminates the concern. I wasn't sure if after a day of Yes, when all of us went to bed, Jill and Ed had their own private Yes time. Now that I think about it, it seems likely.

The book wasn't high risk either. There was no question in my mind that he'd enjoy the quotes and would make connections to the actual story. We'd have great conversations. I was excited for him to read my thoughts. Some were very private and some were things he wouldn't know about me. It would be fun to learn more about each other.

The key fob. The gift I was most excited and most anxious about. At the time I'd thought only how sad he'd seemed with the damage and I could take the sad away. At Lily's workshop, I'd been a little leery of stamping it with my fingerprint, which is why I didn't want it colored and made sure it could be buffed out. Now with him about to open it, to see what I'd done, I'm 85% excited and 15% nervous.

At first, he seemed confused. It wasn't until he picked it up that he understood. I guess it felt right in his hand. He asked and I explained, biting the side of my lip while he processed.

Sebastian ran his thumb over my thumbprint and said, "So... I'm feeling you?"

The look on his face and the quiet of his voice made my nervousness evaporate. He put his hand on the back of my neck, pulling me closer, and said, "I fucking love you" before kissing me. My heart skipped a beat. I was so happy my gift had touched him. From his explanation of the looks his friends were exchanging, my nervousness was appropriate to the previous version of Sebastian, but not the new and improved one.

And there was Toby asking how my Seb felt about it. With no hesitation, he said, "I love it." He looked back at the item and ran his finger over the part of me on it. I felt his emotions shift. He had back what he thought he'd lost and it was better than it had been. He pulled me up with him and enclosed me in his arms. I knew, even without words, that whatever was going on was good. He held on tight, but not desperate. His body was relaxed and molded to mine. I spread my fingers out to hold on to more of his back. I turned my face toward the center of his chest where he laid his cheek against me. I have no idea how long we stayed holding each other. Long enough that I lost track of where I began and he ended.

We went out to the dock to watch the sunset. I love the way he absent-mindedly plays in my hair. When he started speaking, I brought my attention to his blue eyes.

“I never expected to fall in love like this. I never knew I could be this happy and relaxed in a relationship. Comfortable. I know part of that is being comfortable in my own skin, but a big part of it is you. It’s the hundreds of little things you do that are just you. Like how you picked where we’d go to dinner the night we met and considered what clothes I would have at mom’s and had another outfit in case you needed to change. And going out tonight first so my friends wouldn’t be left out. Big things are easy, but you do those little everyday things that matter most. For me anyway. That you went to the trouble of not just fixing my key fob, but keeping everything possible to keep it mine.” He shook his head with a little smile. “The hole in it. I didn’t know what was missing. I couldn’t remember. You filled it with the future, which is exactly what it needed. Me too. You know how you have those times when everything fits together and for that moment, your life is perfect?” He didn’t wait for me to answer, “I’m having a perfect moment. This is the best birthday since the one where I was born. Thank you for that and thank you for being the kind of person who talks to homeless drug addicts in the grocery store. I don’t know how to tell you how much I love you, but I hope like hell you can feel it."

Wow. That was unexpected. I don't know why you'd expect such a thing or how you'd prepare for it. He didn't know the words? Everything he'd said made his feelings more than clear. Nothing I didn't know, but I would never tire of hearing. His voice, his words, both as soft as a caress and as warm as an embrace.

The rest of his birthday had been fun. Sebastian loved the beach party. We danced and laughed all night. Although, I must admit Sebastian's idea of dancing is quite original. It might be he doesn't think he's a good dancer so he goes over the top. Most importantly he was having fun. We continued back at the Villa. I don't think he had any idea how loudly he was singing while we danced. At least not until the morning when Will showed him.

Those of us who valued shopping over hangover recovery went to the shops. We were walking between shops when my notification went off. I mumbled, "Oh shit" when I saw my face clear as day posted on Sebastian's Instagram. Chace, Mina, and Alissa converged on me and looked.

Chace looked at me warily. "You didn't know about this?"

I gave him a one-shouldered shrug, "Kind of. After the live with fans asking to see me, he said he wanted to. I didn't know now." I knew the real question by the way they were looking at me. "He's worried about negative stuff. I'm not. Except for how it affects him."

Chace draped his arm around me," Anything awful isn't about you. It's about you not being them. I promise you're not an ugly, fat, clout-chasing troll. Not because he wouldn't date one. He would." He put a hand on his chest, "I wouldn't and let's not forget I hit on you first."

Alissa shoved him, "Don’t ever say that in front of anyone but us. That will make them hate her even more."

"I'm sure something will hit a nerve sometime." I looked at Chace. "You'll help?"

He nodded, "It's up in the air how he'll react, but of course."

~*~*~

Karaoke night was a hoot. Their version of Bohemian Rhapsody was appropriately campy. Again, it was a group of friends having fun. My long-gone anxiousness at meeting them and feeling a part of the group, while understandable was also unwarranted. I’m not a huge karaoke person and had never done "I'm Your Man", but it is in my playlist of fun songs. You know, great for ass shaking and house cleaning. Also, great for boyfriend teasing.

I don't remember anything of the night terror Sebastian awakened me from, but I must not have slept well. When I woke up it was very bright and I was alone. A quick peek outside showed me almost everyone was out on the lawn. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, threw on my bikini, and headed downstairs.

The curtains on the patio doors from the kitchen were pulled, which is how those around the table didn’t see me. I'd veered off from my path to the lawn to grab some fruit. I stopped when I heard my name in Toby's voice.

"What's the deal with Emma? It's like she's some fanfic Mary Sue. I get that he thinks he's in love and she's perfect, but I don't get why everyone else does."

"Maybe because she's a genuinely nice person." Charles' voice.

"I don't buy it. I don't know what her endgame is, but something’s not right with him."

"Toby, you may want to notice that Seb is happy. Not how he usually is with a girlfriend happy, but how he is with us happy. You don't have to buy anything, but you're wrong."

I'd heard enough. I walked to the living room patio doors and made sure to make noise. I didn't look in their direction, acting as if I didn't know they were there, focusing on the group on the lawn. I walked behind him, reaching out to put my hands on his shoulder. Sebastian looked up and smiled, “Good morning.”

I leaned over to kiss him, “Good morning.”

“You extra tired?” Ethan smirked.

He was probably going to feel awkward. “Had a night terror.”

Ethan cringed, “Sorry.”

I laughed and walked around to sit beside Sebastian.  “How would you know?”

Mina leaned forward, “Emma, your boobs look great.” She looked at her chest. “I’m jealous.”

I put my hands on my boobs, “Thank you. I wish I had your thighs.” I looked at Alissa and started to speak but was interrupted by Sebastian, Will, Chace, and Ethan, jumping up and running toward the patio. The four of us laughed and I scooted back onto the cushion still warm from Sebastian's body. "They're funny."

"They recognized a conversation they shouldn't be in."

We continued our mutual admiration for a while longer. We each had beautiful but very different bodies. No matter how much weight I lost I would never have the model bodies of Mina or Kelli, and the only way they were getting mine or Alissa's boobs was with surgery. We decided the day the guys went out on their jeep safari we were going to a spa.

Chace strode into our group, "I was sacrificed, I mean asked, to come remind you the boat will be here soon."

Mani handed him her phone, "Take a picture of us."

"Are you going to photoshop your favorite body parts together? Your boyfriends, fiancée, and husband don't want to be part of that, but I will gladly help."

"You're a little bit of a pig."

Chace clicked his tongue, "Oh dear sweet Emma, we're all pigs. Some of us are just better house trained."

It was another beautiful day out on the water. I love going fast, bouncing over waves. Our boat had two decks. Shade below and loungers up top. There was even a diving board and a water slide. Oh and a bar. Plus a bathroom. Our crew was fantastic. They obviously enjoyed their job (who wouldn’t), they told stories and sang songs as we went along. Where we anchored was about forty feet deep. Plenty deep enough to dive and slide safely. While we screamed and had contests the crew dove for our lunch. We'd had a lot of fun so far, but for me this was the best. Jet skis, kayaks, and diving all take energy. Today was just ride around and have fun.

Back at the Villa I was surprised to see a guitar case sitting in a chair. I didn't notice I was dragging Sebastian by the hand until I was close and turned to find him. A smile lit up his face and my world. He leaned closer to kiss me, "You need to practice."

I nodded, "I love you."

Pulling me closer and holding our joined hands at the base of my spine he whispered in my ear, "I got you, baby." His lips pressed to my neck and his tongue left a warm wet spot.

"Does practice mean practice or before dinner entertainment?"

Others responded to Alissa's question with "Yes, please".

I looked around at them, "I'll play if you all sing."

Mina yelled, "Deal!"

Will headed toward the kitchen, "I'll get drinks while you warm up."

Chace clapped his hands then rubbed them together, "Drunk before dinner it is."

Sebastian grabbed the case, "You don't have your iPad."

I knew what he meant. I didn't have music. "You can put the app on your laptop."

"Perfect." He handed the case off to me and jogged up the stairs to our room.

I headed outside around the fire pit, under the umbrella. It was a very nice guitar. Well used and taken care of. Best guess is our concierge found someone willing to loan us one. There was a small envelope with a variety of pics. I flexed them to find the thickness I preferred and went to work warming up.

Despite my efforts, I was feeling self-conscious. Toby's "I’m not buying it" had me not wanting to call attention to myself and checking myself. Given the company I'm keeping, I'm far from the special one.  Models, actors, podcasters with pizza-making families. I can play guitar because my dad’s in a rock band. I'm new so it's natural for there to be more curiosity about me. Kelli is new too, but she isn't comfortable. I don't like this over-aware feeling. Charles' response leads me to believe this is Toby's issue and not the others.

Sebastian sat beside me and I directed him to the app and my sign-in information. He laughed with joy, "There's a whole section called Sing Along."

Everyone sat around the table, Will putting a line of tequila shots in front of me. I sighed, "My friend" and we shared a laugh.

Kelli spoke tentatively, "What did Seb mean, you need to practice?"

We both started to speak. I backed off to let him answer. "I meditate. She plays guitar. I thought it might help her restless sleep."

I slid my leg to where I was touching him, while Alissa said, "You're very sweet, Seb."

He shrugged off the compliment, "I pay attention.”

As agreed, I played and they sang. This felt like nights in Hawaii on the beach around a bonfire, only there, dad was in charge of playing. It was a nice connection between his family and mine. As if he knew, my phone rang with dad's ringtone. "Hey, I was thinking about..." my voice trailed off when I noticed his surroundings. "Why are you in a hospital?"

Sebastian took the guitar and leaned closer to see and put his hand on my leg.

Dad rubbed his hand over his beard, "Everyone is fine. Mostly anyway. Olivia went on a group date to one of those trampoline places and broke her thumb." He was smiling, almost laughing, which told me she was fine.

Harper jumped into view, "Her thumb was pointing the wrong direction. It was so gross, Sissy."

"I bet it was. Did they fix it?"

"Not yet." Olivia yelled from behind them. Dad took the phone over and sat beside her. "It is pointing in the right direction." Olivia held up her hand wrapped in ice. "He's never going to let me date now. I'll be Seb's age, a virgin, and have a deformed thumb."

Dad, Sebastian, and everyone here laughed. I fought it with just a smile, "Aw Livvie, nothing quite so desperate. I promise you won't be a forty-year-old virgin."

From beside me came, "I'm not fucking forty."

That made Olivia laugh, "You're so cute, Sebastian." She scrunched up her nose.

"Thanks, Livvie."

She snickered, "He called me Livvie."

Dad rolled his eyes and stood up, "That's enough."

I snorted a laugh, "How high is she?"

"Very, it was pretty fucking gross. It's like a skiing injury. You can see part of the bone separated. It may heal on its own, but if it doesn’t the fix isn’t as successful. They’re going to do surgery in the morning. Put a couple of screws in, then we'll take her home."

Sebastian cringed and looked at me, "Adding trampoline park to the list of things our kids aren't allowed to do."

"Make sure dating is number one. Boys are nothing but trouble." Dad grinned. "I'll call you tomorrow when it’s over."

"I love you two." Olivia yelled.

Dad held the phone toward her. I said, "We love you too."

Sebastian blew her a kiss.

Dad turned the camera back to him, "Keep her busy. Don't let her worry too much, Seb."

"No problem." Them teaming up was cute.

I rolled my eyes at them, "Give her a hug and the rest of you. Love you all."

"Love you too, Emma."

Sebastian took his hand from my leg and put it around me. He brought me closer, kissing my temple, "If you want to go home, I’ll book us flights."

I shook my head, "No. It's a broken thumb. We'll send her cookies from that place you use. She'll love them. Thank you though."

Kelli spoke up, "I did that to my thumb. Skiing. Mine was pointing the wrong direction too. It's not a painful surgery. My thumb was stiff after the cast came off, but a couple of weeks of PT and it was back to normal."

"Great, thanks.” That solidified that hauling ass to Seattle was overkill.

After dinner Sebastian brought out the card game he'd received for his birthday. "We figured out how to make this a drinking game. The way you're supposed to play is one person asks the question and everyone answers with the reader picking who won. Our way, the worst answer and if you don't answer drinks. Maybe the best answer drinks too. We'll see how it goes.”

Toby glared at him, “So grudge fuck drinking game.”

Will and Sebastian nodded like puppies.

[whatusernameshouldieven]

✧･ﾟ:* You and I  *:･ﾟ✧*

Genre: fiancé au, fluff

Pairing: Fiancé!Choi San x Foreigner!Reader ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⇰ Chapter 3: Dinner

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★ ・・・・・・・

“This is not what it seems like.”

“I-I can explain--”

“EXPLAIN? HOW WOULD YOU EXPLAIN WHAT I SEE RIGHT NOW?!”

Choi Emma stood there at the most awkward sight she saw in her entire life. With the muscular arms of her own topless brother wrapped around your waist, his body directly against his as you both were sitting up from the bed. You both had the expressions of troublesome teens getting caught red-handed by the teacher, which alarmed Emma down to her soul’s core. You smacked San at the chest, a strong signal for him to move his arm away.

San gave an apologetic smile, “You see-- um… we were just… sleeping! I know it’s hard to believe, but really that is what we were doing!” Emma was having none of it. 

“Y/N... why is my own best friend sleeping on the same bed as my brother?”, Emma had her arms crossed. Your eyes met with Emma’s black ones, seeing a hint of disappointment flash in her once soft and kind eyes. “Emma…”, Y/N let out, “The truth is…” 

Should you tell? Would Emma be disappointment? After all, it was her brother after all. Oh god! I’m not good at things like this!, You yelled in frustration inside your mind. Letting out a deep breath of anxiety, you began, “San and I are engaged.” You immediately clenched your fists, eyes shut tightly, embracing for the storm to hit you.

What followed was a silence. A long dreadful silence which was unreadable. 

“Engaged?” You felt a metaphoric bullet pierce your heart with the sound of Emma’s voice getting dangerously low. Nevertheless, you nodded in response. San gulped, “Emma--”

“OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! DOES THAT MEAN YOU WILL BE MY SISTER-IN-LAW?!” Emma squealed loudly. 

You opened her eyes, confusion present in your face. San sighed in relief, breaking into a smile soon enough. “You’re not mad?”, You asked, sounding like a kid trying to get clarity. 

Emma rolled her playfully, “Why would I be? It’s a good news for me. Like-- I would totally want my best friend to be my sister-in-law rather than some random girl.” Emma puffed her cheeks in excitement, hopping in the same place, all giddy. “I'm so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I wonder how the wedding will look like… Oh~ I WILL have to pick the dress for you!”

You giggled at your best friend’s cuteness, “Of course. You have a better style than me.” Emma let out a excited yelp, “Yes!”

“Wedding…”, San lets out.

Now all the attention was turned to San’s worn out expression. The atmosphere was quick to change from relief and happiness to confusion and worry. Emma placed her hands on her hips, tilting her body in a sassy stance, “Duh, you will have to marry at the end… right?” 

“I haven’t told my parents yet…”

“WHAT?!”, You and Emma said in unison. You raised an eyebrow, “What, why not?” Emma scoffed, “What do you expect? My brother is a pussy in front of our dad.” 

San was quick to go on defensive mood, “I’m not! It’s just… I don’t want to upset them.” Emma face-palmed, “Right…” 

You frowned. What had you expected? They both will surely be upset to know that such a well man was marrying a commoner. They had probably picked someone suitable for their son. Comparing a suitable candidate to a average one? Everyone would be a glorious and far better candidate. 

“Why do you look sad, Y/N?”, Emma concerned voice made you snap out of your negative thoughts. Letting out a fake giggle, you rubbed the side of your neck, “Oh nothing, I was just thinking about my work.” A lie. Emma bit her lip, it was so obvious when you lied. Every emotion was so present in your face, as if everything was glass.

“Oh god! I just remembered--”, San turned to you, offering his usual polite smiled filled with gentleness. “Get dressed up… my parents are coming over to have a meeting with the partnership company. It’ll be a good time to introduce you to them.”

“Oh, alright.”, you replied, nonchalantly. 

The craving for San’s warmth hits you in just a matter of milliseconds, as his arms are taken away from your waist. He stands tall on the ground, extending his arms in the air to give his body a good stretch. The glimmering sunlight against his skin made him glow like the sun himself. You couldn’t help but stare, but you knew you couldn’t fall in the trap any deeper than you already had. 

Emma pursued her lips, her eyes concentrating hard on your expressions. Worry, that was all she had in her mind right now. She was concerned for her best friend. 

San walks towards his closet in the middle of the room, “Emma, can you get Y/N dressed up? I’m sure you have fitting clothes.”

Emma quickly turned to San’s back, “Sure!”

______________________________________________________________

It was hard to describe the feeling in the air right now. It was not suffocating but not exactly relieving either. You stood behind your best friend with both of your hands kept together in the front, feeling small in a sense. Your head dug low on the ground, as your eyes scanned through the pink carpet placed on the floor.

The room was extremely glamorous and girly for your liking. The curtains, mat, bedsheet, almost everything was decorated pink. The walls were white to add some difference. There was a pink small chandelier lit up on the ceiling, which you had never seen before in your life. You had to admit, the color did not look bad on a chandelier. 

Emma scanned through her closet, scanning through all the dresses she owned to find the absolute ‘perfect’ fit. “You know you could give me anything…”, your voice came out small, feeling sorry to cause trouble to your best friend. 

“Absolutely not! You need to look beautiful so my stupid brother would open his eyes!”, Emma slightly yelled out causing you to startle. You were confused, was your best friend mad at you? “Oh…”, you broke into a hopeless smile, “I guess...I’m not perfect after all…” 

Emma’s scanning hands stop dead in the air. She did a harsh turn as her shocked expression was met with your absolute weak one. “Do you…”, her voice almost cracks, “Do you actually think that?” You giggled nervously, “I mean… I’m just a commoner aren’t I?”

Emma had enough of this bullshit. “You know, you’re absolutely perfect. Actually more than that! You just need to face this like a lion!” Emma roared, using her hands as a paw, “A lion!” You couldn’t help but laugh loudly at your best friend’s behavior. All the tension in your body flew away like a light feather. You were truly blessed to have a friend like Emma.

Emma turns back to her closet, eliminating many of her choices of the dresses. Her eyes fall onto one of her dresses in the further most corner. A short dress shone through her heart, the dress would be probably would fall slightly around your knees. With the white essence of purity shown through the dress, the shoulders would be likely fully exposed. You let out a nervous laughter seeing the dress, “Oh… um… is that the least exposing dress you own?”

Emma nodded, “Yeah, and this would be perfect on you!” You hoped that would be true. Emma takes the dress out of her closet and holds it in front of her with a excited smile, “Wear it! We have no time~” She wiggled her eyebrows, teasing you as you blushed slightly.

Emma shoved the dress to you, as she turned around to give you privacy. You swallowed all the worrisome feeling inside as you begin to strip your clothes. As your clothes fell on the floor like leafs, you unzipped the dress. Your eyes caught the beautiful details of the dress. How beautiful gems and pearls were placed on the flowery design of the dress. You slipped into the dress, beginning to feel the dress hugging your waist tightly. A contrast to San’s oversized shirt you wore a few seconds ago. “You can look now.”

Emma turned around, her eyes lighting up and her mouth falling agape. You shook your head as you blushed slightly in embarrassment, “Stop it… you’re being dramatic.” You leaned down to pick up San’s shirt, his smell lingering from it. Perhaps you were thinking of keeping it secretly. “Oh my god, girl! You look like a goddess? I didn’t know you could look like this.” You shook your head in denial, “No way, I don’t believe you.” 

“Whatever.”, Emma rolled her eyes, “You’ll probably believe when your San tells you respectfully-- OW!” Emma rubbed her arm where you had struck your hand. “He doesn’t see me like that.” 

“So you know.”, Emma let go of her arm and now faced you head on with no teasing. 

You sighed, “Just zip my dress, please.” You turned around, taking your hair out of the way. Soon enough, you felt Emma’s soft fingers brush against your bare skin, as she zipped the back of your dress up with enough care. You also heard a concerned sigh leave Emma’s lips.

“What?”, You asked. 

“I’m just worried, Y/N…”, Emma spoke with a dreadful voice, “You know you’re important to me, right? San can be an idiot sometimes… and extreme. What exactly happened?”

You slightly touched your exposed shoulders, preparing yourself for the exposure, “He asked me to marry him because he didn’t want to get married to some daughter of a huge CEO, I think? I don’t exactly remember his words… but he was really desperate and--”

“You accepted a ridiculous favor.” Emma’s stern eyes was enough to shush you from proceeding even further into your explanation. Emma shook her  head, “You’re only going to get hurt. You know he doesn’t love you like you love him.”

“That’s not true!” You surprised Emma every second. Your passionate eyes clashed against Emma’s concerned ones. “San...he’s very considerate of me. He takes care of me. If that is not him liking me, then I don’t know what is.” Emma bit her lip, at this point, she couldn’t get her point across.  Tilting her head, she tried to reason with you, “Y/N… he’s probably just being kind.”

“Just do my hair, Emma.”, you tried to change the subject. You really didn’t have the energy to fight with your best friend in the morning, right before something so important as meeting San’s parents. It was going to affect your mood whether you could control it or not. 

“Whatever you say…”

______________________________________________________________

>>>>>>7:29 P.M

You fiddled with your hands as you sat on the chair with pearl white plate placed in front of you. Three different ranges of spoons and forks were place at the side of the plate, confusing you with the purpose of the sizes. The table was decorated with a beautiful white tablecloth, as you sat on red cushion like chairs. Your hair was styled into curls as some of it was brought to the front to hide your exposed neck a little. 

To your side, sat Emma. Emma wore a long black dress, a total contrast to what you wore. Together they looked like an angel and a devil. Emma dress showed her cleavage and her flawless body-line due to the tightness of the dress. Lucky for her, she was confident in her body.

The door opened wide, causing both Emma and you to turn your heads towards the opening of the door. Much to your surprise, you saw a group of people step in, San being one of them. Two elder looking woman, with one young looking beauty with two elder looking men, with one handsome young man. You panicked at the sight of unfamiliar faces. 

Standing quickly straight along with Emma beside you, you both did a quick bow to everyone as you both greeted them politely. 

“Please sit, San told me a lot about you.”, one of the elder man said as he sat in front, some seats away from you. You did as the man asked, you sat down respectfully, not trying to seem ‘odd’. Right in front of you sat a beautiful young women, she had straight black hair as they were styled at the sides, exposing her small face fully. She had a perfect nose and small pink lips, round eyes which gave her an appearance of a doll. Gosh, she looked like an actress. Is this how rich people look?

You scanned her outfit, it was red. A good choice, it made her stand out. Wearing a long red wrap dress gave her an sexy appearance. How in the world did San not marry someone like her?

You mentally sighed in relief as San took a seat next to you. It made you feel like you had two of knights in shining armor right beside both of your sides, to save you from every awkward situation possible. 

An elderly woman sat next to the previous elder man who had spoken, as she was fairly elegant looking, resembling San in a way. Next to the girl in front of you, sat a handsome looking male. He had all of his black hair slicked backwards, as his sticking features were on the view. He had fuller lips than San, and a mole under his eye stood out. 

San and him were wearing matching outfits. A white shirt tucked in black pants, with a black tie on their collar. You side glanced towards San, who also had his hair slicked backwards, however, a strand of it fell on the front which made him look handsome as ever. You couldn’t help but admire his manly features on sight, he truly looked like a man you could depend on.

The other pair of married couple sat next to the unfamiliar young faces in front of you.

“Let’s begin with introductions.”, San cleared his throat, “This is Y/N.” You forced a polite smile to everyone, slightly bowing at the place, “Hello.” 

“Hello, Y/N. I’m San’s father, I believe we haven’t met.”, San’s father, was the man who first spoke to you when he entered. The woman beside him takes her turn, “And I am his mother, you can call me mom.” She offered a gentle smile. San had taken his smile from his mother, you thought.

You smiled back, “It’s nice to meet you.”

San’s father glanced towards the other married couple, signaling for them to introduce themselves. The woman spoke first, “Hello, My name is Jung Jieun. You can call me, Mrs. Jung.” The man nodded as he smiled when his eyes met yours, “I’m Jung Min-Jun”. Mrs. Jung turned towards the young female and male in front of you, “This is my daughter, Minhee and my son, Wooyoung.” You shyly met faced both of them, exchanging smiles. 

Mrs. Jung continued, all giddy, “I can’t believe my young daughter has finally found a perfect match to spend her rest of her life with! This is beneficial for both of us isn’t it Mrs. Choi?” Mrs. Choi eyes Mrs. Jung, “Ah yes. We are very delighted to extend our business dreams further.”

You awkwardly smiled. A forced one. Emma beside you, saw all of your expressions well. Her heart ached at the sight of her best friend feeling small at a dinner. If she could, she would smack her brother back into his senses right now.

“Everyone.”, everyone’s attention was driven towards San, “I have an announcement to make.”

Mr. Choi smiled, “What is it, son?”

San did not hesitate. “I cannot marry Minhee.”

Your eyes went wide in shock while Emma hid her smirk. Gasps could be heard from the Jung family as San’s parents were fallen speechless from their son’s statement. “Tell me the reason behind that, son.”, Mr. Choi spoke, remaining calm and collected.

“I… I already have an partner I am engaged to.”, San turned towards you, meeting your eyes. His eyes softened up, seeing your flustered form as he comforted you through them, “I asked Y/N to marry me, and she happily accepted.”

“Oh my god…”, Mrs. Jung held her mouth in shock, “This is… I can't believe this.” Her shocked expression soon turns in a angry one, “Mr. Choi, do you have an explanation for this?!”

“As you heard.”, Mr. Choi spoke, “My son already has a partner he wants to marry. I cannot force him to spend his life with someone he does not want to… no matter what.” San facelifts up as he raises his head to stare at his father’s reassuring expression. 

“What about my daughter?”, Mrs. Jung spoke, “What would happen to her?” 

Mrs. Choi speaks in defense, “Your daughter is to find someone else, Mrs. Jung...I am very sorry for the inconvenience.” 

Mr. Jung shrugs, “Well, kids are kids. Let them be, Jiuen. I am very happy with the partnership I have formed with Mr. Choi, I would like to keep it that way. It would be very saddening if a promise ruined it.” Mr. Choi smiles in return, “Thank you for understanding.” “No problem.”, Mr. Jung replied.

“Now where were we?”, Mr. Choi spoke as the elders began to talk their business matters. 

[saharamae21]

Unrequited Love (Chapter 4) - Topper Fanfic

HEY GUY! Here’s chapter 4 of Unrequited Love! I am absolutely in love with this story! 

Authors: @sguymon21​ and @outerbongs​ (Follow her!! and Read chapter 3 here)

Word Count: 1.3k

WARNING: Mentions of abuse and language

Masterlist

Emma’s Masterlist

Get Added To The Tag List!

______________________________________________

I sat uncomfortably in his car. I was so furious. I was angry at Rafe and angry at how this stupid Pogues vs Kooks feud existed. He could’ve killed me. I leaned my head back and tried to relax my exhausted body. I tried to push the anger away, but under it was confusion. I replayed Topper’s face in my mind. I glanced over at him while he drove and it was so different from what I had seen at the beach. He looked at me with genuine concern. When was the last time someone looked at me like that?

I tensed up as we neared my house. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and tried to hide my fear. I knew what waited for me inside. I knew it wasn’t good. I had come back empty handed when I promised to refill the fridge. Dad was going to hate me. He was going to be so mad. He was going to hit me again.

We pulled into the driveway and my entire body tensed. I fidgeted a little bit, trying to find anything to say in order to stall me getting out. My mind couldn’t think of anything though. It was racing with all of the things that could happen when I opened that door. It thought about the copious amounts of alcohol dad had probably consumed already and it thought about the abuse I was about to receive.

Then, I felt something on my thigh. I looked down at Topper’s hand. My heart pounded at the small gesture. I felt stinging in my eyes, which could only mean one thing, I was on the verge of tears. I turned to look at him, tears filling my eyes.

“If you don’t want to go in, you can stay at my house,” he said. He was looking at me with that look of concern and my heart was aching. Why did he care so much about me? He barely knew me. I worried that if he got to know me, he would stop caring about me like everyone else in my life. However, having him like this, even for a moment, was enough for me. I nodded and he gave me a small smile. He was trying to reassure me that I would be safe with him. He shifted the car back into drive and drove us to the north side of the island, never taking his hand off my  thigh.

As soon as we pulled up to his house, I knew I had made a mistake. His house was probably three times bigger than mine. I didn’t belong here. I think he could sense my anxiety and moved his hand from my thigh in order to take my hand in his. He gave it a squeeze to assure me that everything was going to be fine. I got out and he opened up the front door for me. Everything was shiny and new. It was everything I ever dreamed of. He snuck with me up the staircase, guiding me with his hand. Then, at the top of the steps, he pulled me into a room, making sure no one noticed me.

His room wasn’t like what I had expected. It was clean and organized. The walls were grey and there was a navy blue comforter on the queen sized bed. I looked around and contemplated where to sit. He plopped down on his bed and patted a spot next to him. I was hesitant to lay down, but he looked so comfortable that I couldn’t resist. It was the softest bed I’ve ever laid on. I felt my body sink into it comfortably. I laid on my back and stared up at the stick on, glow in the dark stars that decorated his ceiling.

“So, are you going to tell me what happened?” he asked. He had turned on his side to look at me. I glanced over and asked him what he meant. “Why don’t you want to go home?”

“Where do I start?” I asked with a small chuckle. He told me to start with today. “I-I was cleaning up the kitchen. There was a mess and dishes were everywhere. I opened the fridge and half the contents inside weren’t good anymore. I-I started to throw things out. I couldn’t keep living like that, but dad… Luke-he… he didn’t like that I didn’t ask first. He yelled at me. H-he-”

I felt tears well up in my eyes as I realized I’ve never said it aloud before. None of the Pogues ever addressed it. I knew they were aware of it, but still we never spoke of it. Maybe it’s because JJ hates talking about it. He hates when they get emotional towards him. But still, it hurt that they never once asked me if I was okay. Topper pulled me into him as I broke down a little bit. One arm tightened around my back and the other held my head to his chest. I breathed in the scent of sea salt and cologne as he held me.

“Shhh…” he cooed into my ear. “Don’t cry. You’re so much prettier when you aren’t crying.”

“You think I’m pretty?” I mumbled into him. He chuckled and told me that he couldn’t understand me. I pried my face out of his chest and looked up at him. His hands moved from my back to my face. He cupped my checks and wiped tears from my eyes with his thumbs. “You think I’m pretty?”

He chuckled again and nodded. I felt my heart beat out of my chest. I stared up at him and at that moment I knew. I was fighting a losing battle. I found myself silently hoping for him to lean down and kiss me. I wanted to feel his lips on mine, but I was too nervous to eliminate the space between us. I was falling in love with him and there was nothing I could do about it.

“It all started when my mom left,” I said. He never took his eyes off of me. He held me close to him and listened to every word I said. “After she left, it became really hard for JJ and I. I stopped going by Aspen. Dad began to hit us. He drank every night and he- he began to blame us for her leaving. As I grew up, he hated me more and more for looking like her. I have her dirty blonde hair. I have her hazel, brown eyes. I look just like her and I hate it.”

“So does this happen often?” he asked as he tucked my hair behind my ear. His fingers brushed over my bruised cheek and I flinched a bit. I hoped he knew I wasn’t flinching from him. I nodded and looked away from him. He let out a small sigh and then began talking.

“I don’t think I’ll ever meet my mom’s expectations,” he said, opening up to me. I turned back and looked at the bittersweet expression on his face. “I do everything she says and still it’s wrong or it’s not good enough.”

Now it was my turn to comfort him. I knew how he felt. I reached up and placed my hand over his. He turned it over so our palms were touching. He laced our fingers together, intertwining them. My hand felt so small in his. Before we knew it, the sun was coming up. We had spent the entire night talking and laughing. Every time he made me laugh, his hand shot up to cover my mouth. I don’t know what would have happened if we woke up his parents. I wondered how disappointed his mom would be if she saw him with me. I knew that a future with him was nearly impossible, yet here I was, catching feelings. The morning light filtered into the room as I laid in his arms. A huge yawn left my mouth and he chuckled. He played with my hair as we talked about childhood memories. He was telling me a story from when he was a kid as I drifted off in his arms.

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Tag List : @briandaflores19 @sexualparkour @yungbludz

[imlaxdris71]

OUAT Shadowhunters AU

Okay so this is a bit of a beast and I’m so sorry for how long it is. But this is the basic outlines of each character I thought of, although I may not include all of them in the story. I’m also still tweaking some ideas, but here’s how I kinda sorted everyone out. I want to work on a snippet, but it is very late so this is what I have! I hope you guys enjoy my late night rambling. @teamhook @kmomof4 @ultraluckycatnd @stahlop @therealstartraveller776

Shadowhunters

Killian Jones: Fae/Shadowhunter (26)

Killian is the second son of Alycia of the Fae Court and Brennan Jones, making him a Fae/Shadowhunter hybrid. He is extremely skilled with seraph blades and throwing daggers. His two most prominent runes are Calm Anger and Courage in Combat. Killian’s fae heritage means that he is seen as less than other Shadowhunters and has had to work twice as hard as other Shadowhunters to prove his worth. However, he is disturbed by the discrimination that downworlders face and often finds himself among downworld company. His best friend was David Nolan, but when they were nineteen, David was bitten by a werewolf and exiled from Misthaven. Killian was dating the werewolf Milah, but she was killed in a raid a few years previously and Killian has been investigating her death ever since.

Liam Jones: Fae/Shadowhunter (30)

Liam is the oldest of the Jones brothers and also a hybrid like his brother. Liam’s choice of weapon is a seraph blade, but he is also quite skilled with the stave, making him deadly at both range and up-close. His most prominent rune is the Angelic Power rune because, unlike his brother, Liam cleaves closer to his angelic heritage than his fae heritage. He works hard to make himself the perfect Shadowhunter so that the Clave doesn’t doubt his loyalty. He worries incessantly after his younger brothers and is slow to believe Killian’s theory that there is something rotten in the Clave. He is not overly fond of Emma at first, but is very interested in her young Warlock friend, Elsa.

William “Lee” Jones (Liam 2.0) (20)

Lee is the youngest of the Jones brothers and the result of his father’s second marriage Anne Whitlock. He is a full Shadowhunter, but still very much aware of the shadow that hangs over his older brothers. Lee is very talented with the crossbow and prefers to be able to analyze a fight before getting involved. However, he is as hot-headed as his brothers and his most prominent rune is Accuracy. He works alongside his brothers to stop whatever Gold is planning.

Will Scarlet (25)

Will is a good friend of the Jones brothers and parabatai to Robin Locksley. He prefers seraph daggers and his most prominent rune is Stealth. Will enjoys hanging around downworld bars and his quickly falling head over heels for the head of the vampire coven, Belle French.

Robin Locksley (30)

Robin and Liam are best friends, but Robin chose to form a parabatai bond with the young Will Scarlet because for all Will’s recklessness, he’s a good, passionate fighter and he needs someone with Robin’s head to watch out for him. Robin prefers the bow and his most prominent rune is Flexibility. Robin is in love with fellow Shadowhunter Regina, but Cora doesn’t think Robin has the right background to marry her daughter. 

Regina Mills (28)

Regina is a particularly talented Shadowhunter that prefers the electrum whip and her most prominent rune is her Angelic Power rune. She believes that she is superior, mostly because of the way Cora raised her. Born to one of the “original” families, Regina doesn’t think much of the discrimination that downworlders face, but agrees to investigate what is happening in the hopes that her mother will allow her to marry Robin. 

Robert Gold (52)

Gold is the Inquisitor and is known for doling out harsh punishments to downworlders and Shadowhunter sympathizers. He has been attempting to ruin Killian for years and sees downworlders as scum to be eliminated. Gold has teamed up with Cora Mills and Peter Pan to destroy the downworld and raise a new, pure order from the ashes. Gold orchestrates many of the murders and tries to pass laws that would place stricter regulations on downworlders. They would also forbid the Jones brothers from being Shadowhunters. His most prominent rune is the Power rune.

Cora Mills (50)

Cora is a skilled Shadowhunter that specializes in the electrum whip like her daughter. However, she also has impressive rune work with her most prominent rune being her Voyance rune. Cora believes downworlders to be a scourge and is working to eradicate them along with Gold and Pan. Cora had a daughter at 18 when she slept with a demon for fun. She cast Zelena aside and instead married into the high-class Mills family through Henry Mills. She has raised Regina to follow in her footsteps and does not approve of the lowly Robin.

Warlocks

Emma Swan (200+)

Emma is the High Warlock of Misthaven and takes great pride in protecting her downworld community from threats, both from demons and from the Clave. She is extremely skilled in defensive magic and her warlock mark comes in the form of white, shining stripes and glowing eyes. Emma is the current ward for a young warlock Henry and they have a mother-son relationship, especially since they share the same demonic parent. Emma first comes across Killian in the club she owns that he frequent, but their first official meeting comes when a young warlock is murdered and Killian comes to ask her about him. From then on, the two of them work closely together to solve the murders and they begin to develop feelings for each other. 

Henry Swan (12)

A young Warlock who was taken in by Emma when his birth mother abandoned him, Henry and Emma share the same demonic parent. Henry has similar stripes to Emma, although his are red, and he has small fangs. Henry is an excitable kid that doesn’t quite understand the discrimination the downworld faces. Emma is extremely protective of him. 

Zelena West (32)

A young Warlock, Zelena is the illegitimate child of Cora Mills, who had an affair with a demon, but cast the child off. Zelena’s angelic heritage makes her particularly powerful, but her bitterness at Shadowhunters makes her a nasty opponent. She works with Pan and Arthur in the hopes that they will double-cross Gold and take over. Her warlock mark is her green skin and she specializes in potions.

Elsa and Anna Fross (182, 178)

Elsa and Anna Fross are sisters born to the same mother. Their mother was part of a brooding den that was broken up by Shadowhunters. They saw the horrible things their mother experienced and hold kinder feelings than most Warlocks towards Shadowhunters. Elsa has a particular talent for water and ice magic and her warlock mark is her white hair and two horns. Elsa has begun to fall in love with Liam Jones and worries about what that might mean. Anna has less magical talent than her sister, but can also manipulate water, although she uses it for healing mostly. Anna’s warlock mark is the same horns as her sister, but she also has a white tail instead of white hair.

Werewolves

Snow White (30)

Snow is the Alpha of the Misthaven pack, along with her mate, David. Snow is a born werewolf and her wolf form has white fur, which is what earned her her name. She is well-respected among the downworld community and rules with a fair and firm hand. Her acceptance of David was much contested at the time, but he quickly proved to be an asset. She and David have a son named Leo, who is still a little puppy. She and Emma are good friends.

David Nolan (26)

David was once a shadowhunter who was bitten by a rogue werewolf during a mission gone wrong. He was close with the Jones family and didn’t much mind their half-fae heritage, especially since he was mocked for being from a lower-class Shadowhunter family. David met Snow’s pack after he turned and fell in love with the Alpha. David still keeps in contact with Killian, but it is sometimes difficult as Killian is closely monitored. David’s wolf form is russet and sandy-brown. His most prominent rune was Fortitude.

Ruby and Granny Lucas (29, 80)

Ruby and Granny Lucas are both born werewolves that run in Snow’s pack. Ruby is Snow’s Beta and Granny often advises Snow on difficult political matters. They two women are incredibly loyal, but have a severe distrust of Shadowhunters, especially since Ruby’s mother was killed by Shadowhunters when they declared her rogue. Ruby is a dark brown and black wolf while Granny is silver. They are both trained fighters, although Granny usually runs the restaurant, Lupus Diner, which is a front for the werewolves. 

Graham Humbert (31)

Graham was a human cop who was bitten by a werewolf and joined Snow’s pack. He is mated to Ruby Lucas and still works as a police officer. He is in charge of investigating the human connections to the Shadow World murders. He doesn’t really trust Shadowhunters, but doesn’t have quite the same hate for them as others. He is a brown and gray wolf.

Milah Auro (33)

Milah was a werewolf in the Misthaven pack and dating Killian, although their relationship was kept secret for obvious reasons. However, she was murdered by Pan and it was made to look like a Shadowhunter attack on a rogue werewolf. Milah’s death prompts Killian to pull away from the Clave and begin investigating Gold. Milah was a pretty black wolf.

Vampires

Belle French (124)

Belle French is the leader of the Misthaven coven of vampires and an old friend of Emma’s. The two aren’t incredibly close, but they respect each other and will come to each other’s aid. Belle keeps her coven on a tight leash and does not wish to give Shadowhunters an inch when it comes to coven business. She has worked hard to change the vampiric image and the recent killings disturb her. Belle’s true love is her library, but the snarky Will Scarlet is beginning to turn her head, something that hasn’t happened in decades. She and Snow have a fairly amicable agreement between the vampires and werewolves.

Arthur Pendragon (600+)

Arthur is a very old vampire that remembers the times when downworlders weren’t beholden to the Accords and wishes to return to that time. He is working with Pan and Zelena to double-cross Gold and bring down the Clave, restoring downworlders to their place as predators. 

Victor Whale (107)

Whale is a vampire that was turned during World War II when he was serving as a doctor in Europe. Whale is in charge of getting blood shipments for Belle’s coven and mostly just wants to keep practicing medicine. He has found a few effective treatments for wounds dealt by Shadowhunter weapons or demon ichor.

Archie Hopper (300+)

An old vampire that often gives counsel to younger vampires and coven leaders. He is an oddly peaceful vampire who works as a therapist on the side. He is good friends with Emma and Belle.

Fair Folk

Tinkerbelle (Unknown)

A member of the Faerie Queen’s court, Tinkerbelle is a scout that often works with the Shadowhunters to bring murderers to justice. She is also the one who brings Pan’s plans to the attention of the Shadowhunters, but she doesn’t really trust them. She works mostly with Killian because Alycia was her friend and she trusts her sons. Tink is particularly deadly with a dagger.

Alycia (Unknown)

Alycia is a handmaiden to the Queen and a particularly trusted scout. She fell in love with Brennan and had two sons with him, but was forced to return to Court. She has little contact with her sons, but tries to let them know how much she loves them and how proud of them she is. Alycia has a son, Jefferson, from a previous relationship with a human.

Ashla, Aurora, and Philip (Unknown)

Fae knights that want to unite the Shadow World so they work with Jefferson and the Jones brothers.

Jefferson (73)

Jefferson is a relatively young Fae who chose to leave the human world behind and accept the immortality offered by the Fae Court. He serves as diplomat and knight to the Queen and wishes to get to know his younger brothers better. 

Peter Pan (Unknown)

Pan wants to rid the world of Shadowhunter influence and teams up with Gold to bring the Shadow World to the brink of war. He murders Milah and organizes the murder of both Shadowhunter and downworlder alike so that he can double-cross Gold and overthrow the Clave. 

So Gold wants to destroy all downworlders; he enlists the help of Peter Pan to sow discord in the downworld and Cora to spread hate rhetoric. He particularly targets the Jones brothers, and Killian because he has friends in the downworld, his supposed to be parabatai was turned, and he has a wolf lover. Pan kills Milah, but makes it look like a Shadowhunter attack. While investigating her death, Killian comes across several cases of what looks like shadowhunter-on-downworlder crime and downworlder-on-shadowhunter crime. Tensions are rising and the brothers are in the middle. They team up with the downworld and work to bring Gold’s horrible plans to light.

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE TEN

“One hour to go until I find out if people are actually keeping me, or if they're all just being assholes and wanting to blindside me.” - jev

HOH: Brianna NOMINEES: Jev & Kiki POV: Nathan FINAL NOMINEES: Jev & Kiki EVICTED: Kiki (4-0)

JEV

I feel this could be the end for me this week, considering I named Brianna as renom last week and she has nominated me previously it's not looking good for me. However, last week after naming her renom, I did send her screenshots from Nathan of him throwing her and Aria under the bus to me just incase she stayed, so I purposefully threw him under the bus for this exact reason and I'm just hoping the move will pay off and there's even a slight chance she'll nominate him and keep me off the block. I'm also hoping she'll recognise that I didn't consider her as one of my initial noms and only named her as replacement because I was put into a shitty predicament last week by Nathan and his veto win, but who knows. I'm extremely proud of the game I've played but it'd suck to leave at F7 after getting this far.

BRIANNA

https://youtu.be/z8bOEMq9gh8

ARIA

So....its been a bit huh,...sorry about that yall pls just take this anaylsis of everyone left k thanks <3

NATHAN

Looking at the whole of his game this man has been targeted since prejury yet his social connections and physical prowess has kept him safe this long- typically this would lend itself to a very strong underdog story but at the same time his attitude this game has been very rocky as he's threatened to quit or just give up multiple times before which may decrease the amount of respect the jury has for him. At this moment in time he can be categorized as a big player due to his numerous fights which could gain jury respect because it does show that he wants to play but im unsure if its enough. In terms of social connections he presents himself as having limited connections with others as he doesnt talk with kiki or jev but has a mutual understanding between him and joshua as they are both big threats/targets leading them to want to keep each other safe. This does bring up complications when trying to eliminate joshua from this game but thats for another analysis. He's constantly threatened the status quo of the house and if it wasn't for his attitude (and maybe the lack of connections to people like kiki and jev) he could be a shoe-in to win. It should also be considered that he has constant correspondence with emma and somewhat of a connections with bri. It should also be highlighted that hes very good at mending bridges considering hes working with someone he previously attempted to nominate (brianna) and had a fight with (joshua) Honestly he's playing a great game and the bitterness visible from kiki/jev does not reflect the jury- its more likely that he can beat me at the end. 

Leaving: f3/4/

Threat: Big/Physical

Winning Chance: 4/5

KIKI

So most players still left in the game perceive kiki to just be coasting along and honestly their win chances are minimal. I think their social game has been slacking as well as they're typically very hesitant to be honest with their game thoughts so they've failed to secure the connections that they need to get them to the end of this game. Their view on the game is also very confusing as they pretended to not know sides to me and no matter what the truth was it was a very bad look on their part. Also on a more personal note they showed that they're willing to snap as seen yesterday in bri's dms and in the live competition channel. In terms of this vote I have hardly any connection to them and if they won hoh next week i know that i would not be safe unlike jev who i've formed a more honest relationship with. I am slightly worried that im taking out someone with no win chance but my first priority will always be house dynamics and to appease the bb gods, they need to leave.

Leaving: f7

Threat: None, likeability

Winning chance: 1/5

JOSHUA

Literally just hand the kid the winning title and pots at this point his control over the game is incredible. He has deals and connections with EVERY single person in this game and I truly feel like he can make the end if we dont take him out here but I can't control nathan at this point. I think he's formed connections to me and nathan through all of us being "big threats" while he has connections to Jev/Emma/Kiki as they were all on the original side and he's somehow escaped the block on someones hoh who he previously put up...this guy is unstoppable wtf. However the entire game IS aware of his skill and its very likely that he gets taken out soon because of this unless he goes on a comp run. I also find it very likely that the jury is rooting for him as he remained respectful with every evictee and had justifications for every eviction beyond just house dynamics and his game has been straighforward with his noms and bold with his connections. Im unsure of how exactly to get rid of him but I believe he thinks we're close (f2 tingz) and I find it unlikely he takes me out although i think hes notices that ive been a bit more closed off this week which is worrying for future endeavors.

Leaving: f6/f5

Threat: Big/Phyiscal/Social

Winning Chance: 5/5!!!!

JEV

Out of everyone left I find it very difficult to think of how Jev is playing, I think he's either playing the most straight forward game I've ever seen or his game has a lot of hidden depths. I mean how I view his game as another player is that he came into this game very unconnected but managed to wiggle his way into stable sides and form good connections where they've kept him safe when possible. Once he gained a side he stuck to it and just played an overall loyal game minus the yelling at nathan when he lied to him. I dont think the jury is very bitter at him but I also don't believe that they're super high on him in comparison to people like joshua. In terms of our own connection I think I might be higher on his trust list due to me being very proactive about using veto on him and voting to keep him- i dont think ill be in danger if he wins hoh but nathan sure will :nicolequeen: There is a chance he can beat me at the end just due to not fucking over all of the jury but the chance we make f2 is very small, he represents the utr social player that joshua might be scared of winning 

Leaving: f6/f5

Threat: Balance/Middle

Winning Chance: 4/5

EMMA

Emma's game is very interesting because its similar to kiki in the fact that she's been coasting or just sticking to her side but she's aware of her flawed gameplay and wants to do better and make moves. However the end is closing end and I doubt she has the time to really make a move although she has been very smart about how she presents herself to others this entire game showing high sense of strategy. I think we're fairly close in a personal and game sense (unless shes just buttering me up for the slaughter as her own big move) so I would love to take her very far in this game. Im unsure of how the jury view her at this point in time but i cant imagine it being very high at this time unless shes manipulating things behind the scenes. At the end shes probably one of the only people I can beat because the jury might want a "big" player to win so she's def an ideal f2 choice at THIS time.

Leaving: f3/f2

Threat: Strategic

Winning Chance: 2/5

BRIANNA

First off I love her so much personally she's seriously the kindest person I've met and i absolutely adore her but also her game has been fairly impressive so far. Her actions have been the catalyst for sides to form and big moves being made- however i can say that I had a hand in a series of these moves but received no blowback (or recognition) for them yet and I'm unsure how the jury will view us as a duo or who can lay claim to the moves made. I think some of the jury may be bitter such as Josh c and Nick but at the same time she'll have fans such as joey and jacob so its a very mixed bad and I think we'll be trying for the same votes which is worrying. She's also fairly good at comps and socializing putting her on a similar stage as nathan and joshua although for some reason she never gets the credit :/ Im unsure whether I want her at the end or not but there is a possibility ill cut her...

Leaving: ???

Threat: Social/Comp

Winning: ???

And i think i dont stand a chance tbh, my jury management has been ass but im gonna do my best <3 also sorry if this was mean fsabhfds

JEV

So Brianna has let me know that she is more than likely going to put me up as one of her initial nominees, meaning I've had to plead my case to her and severely downplay my game thus far in the hopes that she'll hear me out and by some miracle will spare me from the block this week, I'll insert the plea I sent to her at the end of this DR. I just hope she realises that there are bigger fish to fry cough Nathan cough and maybe even Joshua, although I respect him as an ally too much to even consider throwing his name out to Brianna like that. Worst comes to worst I'll just have to gun super hard for veto and take myself down, then work out the play from there if one of the other hot girls are put up in my place, but I hope Brianna isn't dumb and recognises that there isn't a drop of loyalty inside of Nathan and that she'd be stupid to keep him around another week.

JEV

So I asked Joshua if he'd save me if he won the veto, and he straight up said he'd use it on Kiki because he'd "feel bad" since he used it on me the last time me and Kiki were on the block together. It's made me feel kinda shitty because it's kinda solidifying to me that he considers me at least 3rd in our alliance, and that he and Kiki are quite likely a duo together. I have to try my hardest for this veto because I for sure leave over Kiki or the renom.

JEV

So... there is a chance, albeit a slim chance, that Nathan may use the power of veto on me. I've tried to butter him up by playing up to his kind of wildcard playstyle by saying that nobody would see it coming and it'd be the gag to end all gags, but who knows what he might do. He said he's considering it and will keep me in the loop just so I know what to expect. If I stay on the block, I know I hopefully have Aria & Emma's votes to keep me on lock, which means I'd only have to convince Joshua or Nathan to keep me, OR sway Brianna to keep me in the event of a tie, which I think is the most unlikely of the 3. Prior to tonights veto, I would've thought I'd have Joshua's vote to stay, but now I think its clear that Kiki/Joshua are a duo and Me/Emma are a duo, so I don't think I'd be able to sway him to save me unfortunately. However the rest of this week plays out, I have a lot of ass kissing to do which I hate but hopefully I can work a miracle

JEV

So... considering Nathan has promised safety to me this week I didn't quite expect him to go off on me like that in his veto speech but... I'm just gonna take the high road and not even acknowledge the video in house chat, as much as it sucks I just have to let Kiki run their mouth so hopefully people remain inclined to keep them around over me.

JEV

One hour to go until I find out if people are actually keeping me, or if they're all just being assholes and wanting to blindside me. As it stands, it should be 4-0 since all four of them have promised me their vote, but I'm lowkey suspicious about Nathan and Joshua, there's just something in the back of my mind telling me to be wary, I hope I'm just overthinking though

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29822U0WqVk&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=11&t=0s

[teoriasemserie-blog]

OPERATION MIXTAPE

The music in  ouat and in the SQ’s eps. The music actually entered the plot significantly in season 5, when Emma was in darkness. The darkness represents the closed mind, which refuses to accept its feelings and fight for what it wants, as a result the mind begins to get sick with the person, and we can say that about Emma, ​​she has totally lost herself, and seems really sick, even after supposedly leaving the darkness, because her mind goes in darkness, she continues to refuse to admit what she feels. The song appeared in The Price, in the Camelot dance, with the song "Only you", while Emma and Regina dance with their respective partners, the music plays and Regina looks at Emma exactly at the moment that says "Only You." For a person out of the darkness she needs love, a kiss of love, we saw Emma come out of the darkness through the pain, which means that she did not really come out of the darkness, she goes in the dark, and she needs love to leave , in this ep they show us that the song will help Emma to heal, and she will come through Regina. Facts that support this:

- The lyrics of Only You talk about it "all I needed was the love you gave me, all I needed for another day";

- "At the end of the ep The Price, the darkness speaks to Emma about what has always prevented the Dark Ones, and darkness places Regina as the magic capable of undoing the deeds of them, we have seen light magic does not overcome the Dark Ones, there is only one magic capable of this, the magic of true love;

- Regina was paralleled to Bella, she is the light of Emma, she is the love that Emma refuses to accept;

- All SQ eps since season 5 finale have song names;

- Henry created an operation to prevent the magic from separating his mothers and put the name of Operation Mixtape, which has to do with a collection of songs;

List of songs:

- Only you - ep 5x22

- Jessie's girl - ep 5x23

- I'll be your mirror - ep 6x8

- Colors - ep 6x8

- In my dreams - ep 6x8

- I wish you were here - 6x10

- Some day my prince will come - 6x10

- Tougher than the rest - 6x11

- Mother’s little helper

- The Song in your heart

Emma is being cured by the love of Regina and Henry and music, so let's talk about what music means to the mind, and how music can help in healing. "When you dream of a song but can not remember the lyrics it is a sign that you have the chance to find happiness in your hands. This, however, will depend solely on you and your dedication to happiness. Fight against everything that goes against your success, but without going over anyone. Allow yourself to live happiness without guilt. "

"When you dream that you are singing a song, this indicates that you will soon feel very happy to the point of expressing this happiness so that everyone knows and can feel this moment with you. When you sing, you waste happiness without fear, so the dream is also a way of saying that you should be happy without fear."

"The dreams in which you see yourself listening to music are a sign that you will experience many relaxed and adventure-filled moments. Get ready to live a fun you've never seen before, coupled with unique experiences. Enjoy the opportunities that life will give you to live happiness, joy and relaxation, and do not be afraid to take a chance. "

Dreams are made up of symbols and are the language of the unconscious. They communicate to the dreamer everything that is necessary to seek the balance of the psyche as a whole, so the symbols speak as much about questions of the conscience as of the unconscious, that is, of the psychic totality. For this reason, exploring symbols is an essential part of understanding a dream.

WHAT DOES MUSIC SYMBOLIZE?

Music, although it is a mathematical construction, with bars, arrangements and rhythm, evoke the most diverse emotions and are capable of changing the mood of the listener, whether for better or for worse. Such a trait would not be different in a dream.

The kind of music one hears in a dream is fundamental to understanding what the unconscious is exposing to consciousness. A quiet, unsung melody is certainly a rather different symbol of heavy metal with a guttural vocal as well as the feelings each one evokes.

POSSIBLE INTERPRETATIONS

The type of music evidenced in the dream is crucial information when it is the most prominent aspect in the dream scenario as well as the context in which it arises. To make this assessment, it is important to look at the presence or absence of a letter and what it says.

The fast or slow rhythm may indicate the dreamer's own psychic or emotional rhythm. There is no rule, since the feelings evoked are absolutely personal and variable from person to person, but we can make some more general and uncompromising considerations.

Heavy metal can evoke anger, aggression, an active and charged discharge of energy. They can also be melodic and deep. Classical music may evoke greater mental organization, nostalgia, and joy. They can also be chaotic and dissonant.

Sung songs need to have their lyrics analyzed. Romantic letters, sensual letters, letters of protest, religious, disappointed, cheerful, childish ... Each of them should be contextualized in the experience of the dreamer.

Step one: reflect on the context of the dream.

What music does the dream present? Is it known or unknown? What emotions does it evoke? In what context does it appear? Is it information that stands out in the dream or is it just a backdrop to more important events? Is it information that stands out in the dream or is it just a backdrop to more important events?

Step two: reflect on what the unconscious may be signaling

What pace is setting your emotional life? What kind of melody do you emanate from yourself?

So we have eps in which Emma and Regina try to save each other and their son, eps with romantic songs, and songs that talk about jealousy and the possibility of love, what could that mean? Emma and Regina are in love, and this is the path they refuse to take, out of fear and other issues. So we have the curative element, in these eps Emma seems better, more like her, seems more alive, because Regina is helping her to heal.

Music therapy is the proof that sound is intimately connected to emotional states, since music evokes memories, experiences and experiences of the most diverse.

Often tired of current medical treatments, where it is often felt as a mere number on long waiting lists, which comes out, in most cases, with a prescription for these or other pills that cure only the symptoms of a deeper evil , man now turns his gaze back and seeks those therapies of the past, where man was fully man, where his illnesses were considered to have a malfunction of something within the body as a whole (which today we call it the holistic view of man). From this point of view, it is understood that often a disease, before manifesting itself physically, is formed in the invisible planes, to then descend into the material world and become, as an inflammation of the liver, a heart attack or stomach ulcer. This is where the so-called Alternative Medicines have their great field of work and where music therapy in particular also finds its special application, because it works with elements that Orthodox Medicine is often unaware of.

The whole Universe, to the Hindus, is based on sounds, and if we contemplate the world around us, we can perceive that everything corresponds to resonances, to certain wavelengths. Thus, too, the cells of the organism are sensitive to certain wavelengths, and therefore to certain sounds. Therefore, it is understood that, for example, ancient Chinese medicine would have a whole system of correspondences between musical scale notes and organs. The secret of healing was to maintain the balance between the two complementary forces of nature, the "Yin" and "Yang," and in the case of illness, to re-establish the loss of vital energy.

Healing, according to the Chinese mentality, consists mainly in eliminating the obstacles that impede the flow of energy, in re-establishing the balance of man. This can only be achieved through an integral formation of man that allows to achieve a balance between the Yin and Yang and an unimpeded flow of the energy that is in the human being. When this is actually achieved, there will be no such problems of physical and psychic infirmities, and man will be able to establish that inner harmony which enables him to express his true Self.

It's Regina who helps Emma to come back to herself, to be true, Emma's super power only works fully with her, we saw Regina being the one who put the piece of the mirror in the place in the world of mirrors, and we saw how much Regina has helped , worried and tried to save Emma. And they look exactly like yin and yang in all their narrative dynamics, and in the desire ep, "I wish you were here," they hold hands, and form the symbol yin and yang literally, showing that they are beginning to find balance.

ONLY YOU

Okay, I do love this ep, its all about how Emma and Regina can’t be together because they need protect Henry. The magic whats tearing they apart are religious and conservative thoughts, thats why we have a crystal what cames from a God. If they assume what they feel they are going to have to expose Henry to this, and to the judgment of the others, Regina was losing control of her feelings, which in fact are their feelings, the end of this ep that is double is in The untold story, which takes us to Regina taking away Evil, what different than everyone thinks is not the bad part of her, but the feelings that neither Emma nor Regina want to face, this thing with true love having to be reciprocal makes sense in the feelings to be of both. Later in the ep Stranger Case, we see that what the serum takes from people are the feelings they do not want to face, romantic feelings, Rumpel wanted to take away the feelings he had for Bella, but he saw that taking away the feelings did not solve anything because the only way to get rid of feelings is to die. And you know what Evil did when she was free? She spent half a season trying to expose Hook, even alerted Henry that Hook had the scissors and would to use it against Emma, Hook is the dark thing in Emma’s mind, what she holds for dont give in what she really wants. There is no way to be clearer than that. 

I’LL BE YOUR MIRROR

In addition to showing how Emma and Regina are literally the yin and yang of the narrative, because the mirror reflects its opposite, shows the battle of the mind, between what it wants and the balance. What the mind wants is beyond family, is to have a relationship too, Emma wants to have this relationship with Regina, in this ep Henry represents the mind having to decide, between his mothers, or the life of the Dragon, which represents the balance. Sometimes we want something so much, but it's not the time, and force it will make us lose our reason and the good things. In the end Henry tries to keep both balance and relationship, so Emma and Regina come back, but we see Hook threaten Evil, showing that Emma will still keep her feelings contained. She needs wait and put her son first. 

I WISH YOU WERE HERE

This is one of the best eps that ouat did in seasons. And it is very clear about the feelings of Regina and Emma. Regina is the person Emma wants to be there, is the person Emma wants to be in a relationship, and so she is the Emma’s prince, ​​who comes to awaken her mind, and make her come back to herself. At wishland, Emma was a poor version of herself, childish, submissive, who still needs the help of her parents for everything, even as an adult. She makes a wish in a parallel with Emma's first wish in Season 1 which is the gear that moves everything in the plot at the beginning, it's Emma's desire that brings Henry to her, and she wished she was not alone anymore, she wanted a family. And now we see the second part of that desire, it's not just Henry that she wants as a family, that includes Regina as well. And Regina wants to be with her too, so there are two wishes in that ep, which shows that their feelings are reciprocal.

THE SONG IN YOUR HEART

The song in your heart is a biblical reference, about God acting in the life of the person, about living fully and happily, but many people mistaken about what God wants for their lives, the Catholic religion is super conservative, and believes that man has to stay with the woman, and there is no love beyond that, besides believing that the woman should be submissive to the man. 

This ep shows exactly that Emma is stuck in these conventions, and she is not happy but she is trying to do what she was taught to be right. We see the song "Love doesn’t stand a chance," and its sing for Evil what is Emma's ID, her wishes, and her desires are not happy, its being forced to say what it does not want, and sing, and acting like it does not want to, that's the real situation of Emma, while the Charmings, who represent Emma's Superego, are trying to contain their desires, making it acts as they wish. The magic that reaches everyone and makes them sing comes from Blue, who is a nun, and represents the religious inflections.

Now Emma will take a break, but the music keep coming. We have Roni’s name what means song of joy, what is a biblical thing too, this means that Regina is the real song in Emma’s heart, and also Emma looks to think Reginas a gif of god to her. We have more songs, and I can bet, Emma will be back soon, and get what she really wants.

List of the new songs or things linked to music:

- Greenbacks;

- A pirate’s life;

- Wake up call;

- Pretty in blue(whats about a man who loves someone whos dead, a sleeping beauty whats pretty in blue);

- Lucy (what is a reference to Lucy from Beatles, and the song is a reference to Alice through the looking glass);

And, thats all. 

Links: 

http://www.nova-acropole.org.br/…/a-musica-e-seu-poder-cura…

http://www.personare.com.br/o-que-significa-sonhar-com-musi…

https://www.meusonhar.com.br/sonhar-com-musica/

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 24 Week 9: Yep. That Happened

*slow claps* Let’s give it up for this show completely and totally stooping to a new low. Wow. You really needed Simone gone so much that you went through all of that last week to get her down and then backpedaled this week and then had those same judges that were extremely critical of her last week, feign shock and pull out these looks of horror that she actually was eliminated this week. Wow. I’m impressed by how low this was. I didn’t think they could get any lower. But they prove it to me time and time again that they can. Those producers knew what they were doing. That EP was in Tom’s ear and told him to ask Simone why she didn’t look happy. Oh they knew what they were doing. And you can’t tell me that the judges lack so much self awareness that they don’t understand the damage that their comments can do. You can’t tell me that all four of them are that stupid. CAI? Maybe. But the other three? Julianne was a former pro. She knows this game and has been on the other end many times. Her brother and friend were on the other end. You can’t tell me that she doesn’t understand the weight that their comments hold. You cannot get me to believe that this was shocking to them. You just can’t. They wanted a reaction out of Simone last week. They wanted one that would finish her off. That’s why the producer asked that question after the first dance. It wasn’t enough to hear CAI complain about her being too on beat and too perfect and not smiling enough while just saying previously that she was smiling too much. You had to tell your host that she didn’t look happy (meaning ask about it) and ask her why she wasn’t after those “compliments”. And they got the soundbite that they wanted. They got it. Remember when I told you all that racism would play a role in why both Normani and Simone couldn’t make the finals? Well, there it is. That was a nice and healthy dose of misogynoir for ya right there. And it was led by TPTB and the judges. Also remember when I said that Mandy Moore’s stupid comment about emotion was gonna haunt them? Welp, there you go. If you’re wondering how and why Simone got eliminated, there it is. In fact, I’ll bold those few sentences for you all. Now let’s get into the rest of this even though I really don’t want to.

Judges’ Challenge (I really don’t understand why this was a thing)

Normani and Val- Viennese Waltz (Score=36)- So this dance was a perfect example of what not learning the basics can do to you in the later stages of the competition. I think that most of these issues that Normani had could have been sorted out 6 weeks ago, had her pro given her way more content in her ballroom dances and made sure that they did more than two bars in hold for each dance. She was not comfortable at all dancing with Val. Something that Simone, Rashad and David had no difficulty with. All I could do was shake my head. The judges did her a disservice all season long by not properly critiquing them. This Viennese waltz could have been great. But there were a lot of issues with it. That prevented it. I’m surprised they actually scored her the way they should have been all season versus throwing 10s at her for 4 weeks straight.

David and Lindsay- Foxtrot (Score=34)- This was a really good dance. I was surprised at how much David improved from just last week. Up until this point, I thought it was his best dance. Julianne had the right idea by making him focus so much on getting his butt under. Yes, he had some technical issues and his butt still needs to be tucked in a little bit (even though he can’t help that he has a big butt). But it was fun, a major improvement and he did some pretty neat moves.

Simone and Sasha- Jive (Score=40)- I don’t really think Simone did all that much different in terms of emotion or whatever the heck CAI was working on her with. I mean it’s a jive. What kind of depth can you show? Now I will say that maybe Sasha’s choreography was a little better this week, but I don’t think Simone’s performance quality changed all that much. She let loose a little bit more but I think that probably had more to do with her trying to prove herself and being a bit upset than CAI coming in and working with her. Anyway, I thought the dance was great. Simone did a great job and hit everything perfectly. She deserved that perfect score (even though she should have gotten one long before week 9).

Rashad and Emma- Rumba (Score=38)- I am really mad that they cannot seem to get a perfect score. This was perfect. The fact that Len keeps harping on feet problems that aren’t even really a big deal at this point makes me mad. I looked at his feet. They were no worse than other men that he’s given 10s. And I don’t understand why CAI gave him a 9 either. Makes no sense to me. But whatever.

Round Two

Normani and Val- Lindy Hop…I mean Jazz (Score=40)- So many of us predicted that this was gonna be a 40 once we learned that she got it. Regardless of what she did, it was gonna be a 40. And it was a good dance. But I mean that wasn’t a jazz. It was a Lindy hop. See what we mean when we say that jazz is just another way to do a freestyle well before the freestyle round and get a good score. You see why that’s a problem? Especially in a semi-final when everyone else has difficult Latin and ballroom dances with rules that are enforced. With jazz, you can do whatever you want and get a good score just for showing up and looking alert. And look. She’s the only person to get a salsa (very relaxed rules), Argentine tango (lifts are allowed and is typically is a high scoring dance), contemporary and jazz. No one else had that luxury this season.

David and Lindsay- Tango (Score=36)- This was David’s best dance ever. I am not sure where this came from, but he came alive and showed everyone that still had doubts, that he deserved his place in the semis. He had so much attack but he was also very controlled. His posture and frame were great. His technique was good. His butt was under. Everything came together perfectly for this dance. I wish they had been rewarded with at least one 10. Oh and CAI conveniently pulls out the lift police this week even though they were suspiciously silent during Normani’s jive last week.

Simone and Sasha- Rumba (Score=40)- I loved this dance. At first I was a little bit scared because I was thinking Sasha had put too many contemporary-esque moves in and not enough rumba basic steps. But as the dance went on, they really went into the rumba and I enjoyed it. I thought the hip action was there, the connection was great, the performance was great and the technique was, as always, flawless. I’m glad Simone got to go out on a good note. Last week was treacherous and I know this won’t really make up for it. But, at least she didn’t get the same treatment that Bonner did (which I’m still disgusted by). Sad that I have to even worry about stars getting treated like garbage on their way out now.

Rashad and Emma- Quickstep (Score=39)- I want to fight Len. I don’t care if he’s 70. He’s pissed me off all season. I didn’t get a chance to see the critiques for this dance because I had to go take a movie back for my mom and Quantico was on when I got back. I didn’t wanna stop that to finish the show, because I mean Quantico is better. So my question why did he withhold the 10 this time? What was the issue? Was it the fact that they broke hold in the middle of the dance? Because at this point, with the amount of crap they have let one couple slide with this season, that didn’t bother me. Was it his feet again? Something tells me that it was. And I’m so irritated. Whatever. It was one of my favorites of the night.

So that’s it. We all know Simone and Sasha were eliminated. And I’m still mad over that. And I’m even more mad at the judges acting like it’s our fault. Nope. Not at all. This falls all on your shoulders. And I hope they have issues sleeping because of it. I hope they’re haunted by it. I don’t care if that sounds mean. They shouldn’t have ripped a 20 year old apart for stupid things. But the show will look back on this moment in about a year and a half. They’ll realize that this is where they finally shot themselves in the foot. I don’t know how the come back from this season. They’re already having issues casting celebs. And when you have 6 celebs talk about bad experiences on the show, including Simone Biles, I don’t see how that invites people to come on. In fact, all it does is scare people off. So yeah, when you start seeing celebs like one of the guys from LMNT, and one of the stars from Naturally Sadie, remember this season and what happened. That will explain why no one of importance wants to come on. 

[captainswanluver]

CS FF: Say You Won’t Let Go

Summary: Emma struggles to accept Killian abandoned her, as Snow lends her advice and support.  Meanwhile, Killian fights to get back to Emma.   (My version of things.)

Rating: G

Note: So this is how I would write things if I wrote the show.  I fully expect Emma to feel abandoned because of her past issues, but I did not like that second sneak peek.  While drunk Snow might be amusing, that’s not who Emma needs right now and I don’t believe Emma would just try to move on so quickly, no matter how much she was hurting.  So this is pulling bits and pieces of what we know from the promo and sneak peeks.  Also, I have no clue how Jasmine, Aladdin, and Agrabah fit into this story, so I am not even going to address it.  I just wanted to make it so Killian could get home, they could reunite, and work through things.  Hope you enjoy it!  ~Steph

...Say You Won’t Let Go: Part 1/1...

Emma sat in the dark in the living room all night long.  She hoped that he was just out getting some air, doing some thinking, putting a bit of space between them.  She never imagined that he would leave her.  Abandon her like everyone she ever loved who had come before him.  Not him.  He was the one person who would never do that.

Every time she heard even the slightest of sounds, she jumped up from the couch and ran to the door, throwing it open.  And, every time, her heart sank into her stomach at the sight of an empty porch and snow falling before her.

The house seemed so empty without him.  When she had bought this house as the Dark One, the house Killian had chosen for them, she had imagined it filled with her family and with him.  She had even imagined their future children running around it.  She had never imagined being alone in it.

Emma didn't go upstairs until the sun had risen into the sky.  She moved to Killian's chest that sat on the floor in their bedroom.  She opened the top, her heart sinking once more.  A bag and some of his belongings were missing.  

Her worst fear had come true. He had abandoned her.  He had left without saying a word.

Emma reached around her neck and removed the necklace with the ring hanging on it that he had given her.  While he was in the Underworld, she had used it to feel close to him, to feel connected. After all they had been through, how could this be how it ended?

Tears stung her eyes, as she clutched the ring to her heart.  

"Where are you, Killian?  Please come back to me."

...

Killian pounded his fist against the porthole.  

"Bloody hell!  I need to get off this damn vessel!"

Nemo sighed.  "I realize you are frustrated, but abusing my submarine will do you no good."

Killian's eyes flared at his old friend.  "You don't understand.  Emma's going to think I abandoned her.  If I hadn't changed my mind, then I was going to call her to say goodbye. To explain that I would be leaving until I could be the man she deserves.  I knew I couldn't bear to tell her face to face.  I would lose my courage to leave.  But then I spoke to Snow and I knew that leaving was not the answer."

"I'm sorry things happened the way they did."

"Emma is going to think I am just one more person who abandoned her.  I always swore I would never be that man.  And she is in danger.  Gideon won't stop until he has eliminated Emma.  I have to find a way to get back right now!"

"I'm afraid that's not possible.  We need Kraken’s blood to be able to cross realms, of which we have none."

Killian sighed heavily and sank down onto a barrel.  "Every minute I spend down here is killing me.  And I might never see Emma again if Gideon has his way."  He paused and met Nemo’s gaze. “We need to get that Kraken’s blood.”

...

Snow threw open the door to the loft, revealing her daughter.  She immediately knew something was wrong.  Emma's eyes were red rimmed and she looked exhausted.  

"Emma? Are you okay?"

Emma walked right past her into the loft.

"He's gone.  Hook's gone."

Snow's eyes grew wide.  "What? What are you talking about?"

"He never came home last night and some of his things are gone.  I can't find him anywhere."

Snow placed a hand on her arm. "Sweetheart, there must be some kind of explanation.  You just got engaged.  He would never leave you."

Emma dropped her eyes and Snow looked down at her hand.

"Where's your engagement ring?"

"We put that on pause," she replied softly.

"I don't understand. Why? You were so happy the other day."

"There's something I need to tell you and dad, but not right now.  Let's just say that things are strained between us at the moment."

"Okay, so maybe he just needed a little space and time to think then.  Now that I think about it, when I saw him down at the docks last night, he did seem a bit troubled."

"Wait. You saw Killian at the docks last night?"

"Yes. I told him about Regina and how happy I was that you two were getting married. He-...

Snow stopped abruptly.

"What?"

"Well, he did have a bag with him.  He said he was just getting some things from the Jolly Roger."

Emma felt a knot grow in her stomach.

"I need to go down to the docks."

"I'll go with you," Snow said.

...

Killian looked down at Emma's engagement ring in his palm.  

"Please, love, be safe.  I know you can feel me, Emma.  We've always had such a deep connection. Please hear me now.  I would never abandon you. I will do everything in my power to get back to you.  Please don't give up on us, Swan.  Please don't give up on me.  I love you, Emma.  Don't ever forget that."

He squeezed the ring in his hand.

...

Emma and Snow arrived at the docks.

"He was standing right here," her mother said.

Emma looked out at the water, a lump growing in her throat.  

"The Nautilus.  It's gone.  Killian must have left with Nemo."

"Emma, I don't know what happened between you two, but I just don't believe Killian would leave without telling you."

"I told him he wasn’t acting like the man I fell in love with. He kept something from me instead of coming to me so we could work through it together. I told him that when he was ready to do that then we could talk about marriage."

Snow sighed.  "Then maybe he believed some time away would help him find that man again.  He only took some of his belongings and his ship is still here.  He must plan on returning.  But, Emma, you know he would have called you, at the very least left a note, if he believed this is what he needed to do right now.  Something doesn’t seem right."

"I never thought he would abandon me," Emma said in a whisper. "Maybe he's not the man I thought he was."

"That is your pain talking, Emma.  That is your past issues with abandonment rearing their ugly head.  You know how much Hook has changed.  He loves you so much.  There must be some other explanation."  

“I just don’t know what to think right now, Mom.”

Snow put her arm around her daughter’s shoulder.  "Come on, you need a break.  Let's go somewhere to get your mind off everything."

Emma shook her head. "I don't think I'd be very good company right now. I'm just going to go home."

"Honey, I don't think it's a good idea for you to go home and wallow alone.”

“I am not going to wallow.  I don't wallow,” she replied sharply.

"Emma-..."

But Emma turned on her heel and walked away without another word.

...

Liam sat down beside his brother.

"I realize you're frustrated and worried about Emma, but do you really believe attempting to retrieve Kraken's blood is wise?"

Killian met his brother's eyes. "I don't have a choice. It's the only way to get back to Emma. I don't know if she'll ever be able to forgive me and trust me again, but even if she doesn't, I need to know she's safe. I need to be there to help her defeat Gideon."

"You truly love this woman, don't you?"

Killian nodded slowly. "More than I ever thought possible." He paused, swallowing hard and dropping his gaze. "But I am well aware I don't deserve her. I am well aware I am not deserving of a happy ending with her."

Liam licked at his lips slowly. "Why do you say that?"

Killian's eyes widened as he met his brother's gaze. "You should understand more than anyone, Liam. I killed our father and left you all alone. You became consumed with seeking revenge.  I destroyed lives, families, as a pirate. I cared about no one but myself. I left so many families without their loved ones and I didn't care."

"But you do now. Killian, you've changed. You're a hero now. You've helped so many people."

"It doesn't change the terrible things I did in my past. My past continues to haunt me, as it should. Why should I get to have a happy ending, get to be with the woman I love, have a family, when I stole that very thing from so many others?"

"Are you truly sorry for the things you've done, brother?"

Killian nodded. "Aye, that I am."

"Then I think it's time you stop punishing yourself and try to forgive yourself instead."

"Easier said than done," Killian replied.

Liam nodded. "That it is.  I don't remember much about our father, but I do remember this. He always said anything worth doing shouldn't be easy.  It's in the struggle that we grow and learn. I know Father would want you to live a full, happy life, Killian."

"Thank you, Liam," Killian said. “I appreciate that more than you know.”

…

Hours later, having been tricked into coming to the bar, Emma sat across from her mother and Regina, staring forlornly into her drink.

"How about a game of darts?" Regina suggested, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

Emma glanced at the dartboard, replying softly,  "Killian was playing darts when I asked him out on our first date."

Regina rolled her eyes and picked up her glass, muttering into it, "So you're going to be that person."

Emma shrugged. "I'm sorry, but I warned you I wouldn't be good company.  I can't pretend like I'm not thinking about him.  Two days ago, I was the happiest I had ever been.  I had everything I had ever wanted.  And now it feels like it's all falling apart.  I know what you want me to say.  You want me to say I need to move on, but I can't.  I don't know how."

"Sweetheart, you just need to give yourself some time to process everything.  And, no, I don’t expect you to just move on,” Snow said.

“I do,” Regina chimed in.

“Regina,” Snow said through gritted teeth.  

Regina shrugged and took another swig of her drink.  Snow turned back to Emma.  

“I think assuming this is the end for you and Killian is a mistake.  There is always hope.  I still believe you two will get your happy ending."

"Maybe there really isn't a happy ending for me."

Regina sighed in defeat.  "Your mother is right, Emma.  If the Evil Queen can have a happy ending, then so can you and the pirate."

Emma shook her head.  "But every time something good happens to me, it never lasts.  It all falls apart. For a long time, I ran away from love because I was afraid of getting hurt again, afraid of losing love again.  And then I met Killian.  It took a long time, but he made me believe that love could last.  He helped me realize that I needed to stop running, that this was my home.  He helped me realize that this is where I belong and, in time, I came to believe that I belonged here with him.  I just...I never thought he would end up running."

Snow covered her daughter's hand with her own.  "Killian loves you, Emma.  I know he wants a life, a future, with you.  I am as sure of that as I am of anything.   But maybe he is scared too.  You know what it feels like to be scared to tell the people you love something difficult.  You’ve kept your own secrets.  Killian feels he failed you.  And maybe he just needs some time to prove to you and himself that he is worthy of your love."

Emma took a deep breath.  "I guess I wasn’t exactly fair to him.  I reacted pretty badly.  You’re right, I’ve kept secrets too.  And he’s always been understanding and forgiving with me.”  She paused for a moment.  “But I just don't understand why he thought running was the answer and then left without telling me."

Regina shrugged. "I have to admit that doesn't sound like the pirate."

Emma stood up abruptly, shaking her head, as she blinked back tears.  "I'm sorry, I just really need to go.  I need to be alone right now."

"Emma," Snow said.

"Thank you both for trying to help," she said, before exiting the bar.

...

The Nautilus arrived in the deep, dark waters where the Kraken dwelled.  Killian stood before Nemo, his brother, and the crew.  

“My apologies for forcing you to go near such a dangerous creature.  It was not fair of me.  As you can see, I am desperate to get back to the woman I love.  But it is my risk to take, not yours.”

Nemo shook his head. “My friend, please think this over.  The Kraken is far too dangerous to battle alone.  It would be a suicide mission.”

“I have to try.  I have no other choice.”

“Then let us help,” Liam said.

Killian shook his head. “No, I have destroyed far too many families as it is.  I will not do it anymore.  I was a selfish man as a pirate.  I took what I wanted without a care to the consequences.  I am not that man anymore.  Emma fell in love with a man who put others before his own selfish needs.  That is the man I need to be.  I will go alone.”

Nemo stepped forward, placing his hand on Killian’s shoulder.  “From what you have told me, Emma fell in love with a man who knows that some things must be done together.  That sometimes you must rely on the people in your life who care about you, rather than tackle things on your own.  That is the man you must be for her.”

Killian moved his gaze from Nemo to meet his brother’s eyes.  “Are you sure?”

“Aye,” Liam replied.  

Killian nodded and turned back to Nemo.  “I cannot thank you enough.  But please do not give this as an order to your crew.  Please allow them to decide for themselves if this is a risk they are willing to take.”

“I will, but I know my crew.  They are always on the side of what is right.”

…

Emma returned to the docks, to the spot where Snow had last seen Killian.  The sun was beginning to set as she looked out at the water.

"Why did you leave me?  I miss you," she said, her voice breaking.  

Emma leaned forward on the railing and looked down into the water.  Her brow furrowed as she noticed something lying on a rock jutting up out of the water.  Emma waved her hand and the object flew up onto the dock, landing by her feet.

Her eyes widened at the black bag that was in front of her.  She knelt down beside it.  

"It's Killian's," she breathed.

She unzipped the bag and found the items missing from his chest inside.  

"Why would he leave without his things?  Mom said he had the bag with him when she saw him. What could have happened?"

A moment later, Gideon appeared in front of her.

"I just couldn't bear to watch you cry over your beloved pirate one second more."

Emma stood and shook the bag at him, her eyes flaring. "It was you, wasn’t it?  You made Killian disappear.  What did you do with him?!"

"Don't worry.  He's safe...for now.  I just couldn't have him around. On the bright side, at least you know he didn't abandon you.  He was planning on leaving for just a spell, but changed his mind.  I am sure he would have said goodbye, but I didn't exactly give him a chance."

"Tell me where he is."

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.  I can’t have him here for what I have planned for you.”

Emma’s brow furrowed.  “What are you planning?”

“And ruin the surprise?  I think not.”

He then waved his hand and disappeared.

Emma clutched the bag to her chest.  “I should have known you would never abandon me.  I will find you, Killian.”

…

Once in their diving suits, Killian and the others loaded onto a smaller sub.  They navigated through the murky waters until they could see a huge figure up ahead, tentacles stretching out before them.

Killian pointed.  “Up ahead.  Right there.”

Nemo slowed the boat and then brought it to a stop.  “We must swim the rest of the way.  If we are to succeed, it must not see us coming.”

Killian held up the spears.  “We must attack from all sides.”

“Attack each tentacle,” Nemo added. “Then it will show its head.  Once it does, we attack its head together.”

“Aye,” Killian agreed.  

Nemo opened the door and the men swam out.  They spread out, approaching the beast from all sides.  Killian was the first to attack.  He jabbed his spear into one tentacle.  The other men followed suit.  The Kraken began thrashing its tentacles violently.  It hit Liam and sent him flying to the ocean floor.

“Brother!” Killian yelled, as he looked down at him.

Liam gave him a thumbs up, as he quickly swam back up.

Killian was distracted by his concern for his brother and didn’t see the Kraken raise its tentacle.  It hit him across the face. He went flying backwards, but quickly recovered.  All of the men attacked the tentacles again, causing the creature to reveal his head.  Two huge, glowing eyes appeared before them.

“Now!” Nemo yelled, as he pointed at the head.

The men charged forward, attacking the head with their spears.  The Kraken let out a howl as its tentacles moved about wildly.  The men were relentless, dodging it tentacles as they continued to jab their spears into its head.  Finally, it let out one more long, anguished howl, before the glow of its eyes disappeared and it slowly fell to the ocean floor.   

Killian quickly followed it to the ground, removing the vessel from a pouch hanging around his neck.  The Kraken’s blood was slowly seeping from its many wounds.  Killian pulled the top off the vessel and held it up to one of the wounds.  It quickly filled with the Kraken’s blood.  Killian replaced the top and gave a thumbs up to the men.  

Killian and the others swam back to the small submarine and entered it.  Killian pulled his helmet off.

“We did it. I can’t thank you all enough.”

Nemo patted his shoulder.  “Let’s get you back to your love.  Your happiness is all the thanks we need.”

Killian felt a smile pull at his lips.  He only hoped he wasn’t too late to help save Emma and salvage their relationship.

…

Emma pounded on the loft door.   Snow opened the door a moment later.  

“Emma, what’s wrong?”

Emma came barreling in, as she held up the bag.  “He didn’t abandon me. You were right, Mom. He was thinking about leaving to try to find the man I fell in love with, but I know he would have told me before he left.  He never got the chance.  I found Killian’s bag on the rock in the water and then Gideon showed up.  He told me he sent Killian away.”

Snow’s eyes widened.  “Where?  Why?”

“I don’t know where. He said he didn’t want Killian around for what he has planned for me.”

“That means he must be planning on doing something to you that could be reversed with an act of true love.”

Emma let a small smile pull at her lips.  “He didn’t abandon me,” she said softly.

Snow took Emma’s hand in hers.  “See, I told you there was hope.  You just needed to look for it.”

“But I need to find Killian now, Mom.  There’s no telling where Gideon sent him.  He could be in danger.”

“I don’t see how we can find him.  He could be anywhere and Gideon didn’t give you any clues.”

Emma’s eyes lit up.  “A locator spell.  This bag belonged to him. Regina can use it to do a locator spell.”

Snow nodded.  “Great idea.  But you know it will only work if he’s still in this realm.”

“I have to try,” Emma said, as she turned on her heel and exited the loft.

…

“Hurry, please,” Emma said to Regina.

“Patience, Ms. Swan.  You do realize that if Hook is in a different realm, then this will not work, right?”

“Yes, I know.”

Regina finished doing the spell.  Suddenly, the bag began to float into the air.  

Emma smiled.  “That means he’s in this realm.”

It made its way to the front door, as Emma followed.  “Thank you,” she called over her shoulder.

“Good luck!” Regina replied.

…

Emma followed the bag as it turned onto their street and then made her way down the sidewalk.  The bag stopped in front of their house and then dropped to the ground.  Her heart sank into her stomach.

“Something must have gone wrong,” she said softly, picking up the bag.  “It brought me back to our house.  It must have been going back to one of the last places he was, rather than where he is now.”

Slowly, she made her way down the walk and up the porch stairs.  She went inside, the quiet and emptiness of the house hitting her like a ton of bricks again.   Her mind became flooded with questions.  What if she couldn’t find him?  What if he never came back?  What if Gideon’s plan to eliminate her could only be stopped by Killian and he’s nowhere to be found?

Emma shook her head, as tears stung her eyes.  Her hopes had been dashed again.  She wanted to be optimistic like her mother, but they had been torn apart so many times that it was getting harder and harder to do.  She could only hope that things would seem better in the morning.  

Emma dropped Killian’s bag onto the floor by the door and made her way to the stairs.  All she wanted was a hot shower, her warm bed, and to forget about everything.  But she dreaded that big bed, Killian’s side glaringly empty.  She decided to sleep in the guest bedroom tonight.   Emma entered their bedroom to shower and gather her things before going to bed.  She hadn’t even crossed the threshold when her eyes landed on his figure standing in front of their bed.

“Swan,” he breathed, his heart racing at the sight of her.

Killian didn’t know what kind of reaction to expect from her.  After all, they had parted on bad terms and she thought he abandoned her.

“Killian,” she said, her breath catching in her chest.

Emma stood frozen to her spot for a long moment, before finally gaining the power to move.  She crossed the room in record time, flying into his arms so hard she nearly knocked him down.

Killian’s eyes widened, as she snaked her arms around his neck and he wrapped his around her waist.  It certainly wasn’t the reaction he had been expecting.  Emma buried her face in his neck.  

“I missed you so much,” she whispered, as she finally pulled back and met his eyes.

Killian brought his hand up to caress her cheek. “I missed you too, love.  I’m so glad you’re okay.”  

“I’m glad you’re okay too. I’m so glad you’re here,” she said.

Killian licked at his lips nervously.  “I am so sorry, Emma.  I know you thought I abandoned you, but I would never do that.  I knew I wasn’t the man you needed me to be so I was going to go on the Nautilus to try to find him.  But I swear to you I never would have left without telling you.  After I talked to your mother, I changed my mind about leaving, but then Gideon sent me away.”

Emma took his hand in hers.  “I know.  I was hurt and it made me believe things that I should have known better than to believe.  I know you would never abandon me, Killian.  I’m sorry I ever thought you would.”

Killian swallowed roughly.  “It’s okay, love.  I understand.  After what happened between us, I suppose I gave you good reason to doubt me.”

Emma shook her head. “No.  Listen to me, Killian.  You made a mistake, but I understand why you did it.  You were afraid of hurting me and losing me.  And you were scared of living with the truth.  I know what that’s like.  I wish I had been able to see that and hadn’t reacted the way I did.”

“Emma, please don’t blame yourself for my shortcomings.  I should have told you the truth when I planned to.  I should have come to you so we could deal with it together.  I know I wasn’t the man you need me to be.”

Emma nodded.  “You are the man I need you to be, Killian.  If you weren’t, then you never would have even considered telling me.  You didn’t need to go anywhere to find that man.  Running is never the answer.  Trust me, I should know.  We need to figure things out together, no matter how hard or painful it might be.”

“Aye, love.  No more running.  No more secrets.  No more lies.”

Emma bobbed her head.  “We will go to my parents and tell them the truth and we will deal with the consequences together.”

Killian sucked in a breath.  “Okay.”

She brought her hands up to cup his face.  “I know it’s hard, Killian.  You and I were alone for most of our loves.  We learned to fend for ourselves, to rely on no one.  But we’re not alone anymore. We have family and friends who love us.  We have each other.  I know sometimes it’s easier to revert back to those people who had no one, but easier isn’t always right.”

A smile pulled at Killian’s lips.  “My brother reminded me of something my father used to say.  He always said anything worth doing shouldn't be easy.  It's in the struggle that we grow and learn.”

Emma smiled. “Your father was a wise man.”  She paused and then pressed her lips to his in a kiss.  “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” he whispered.  “Emma, you must know I fought like hell to get back to you.  I knew you were in danger and hurting because you thought I abandoned you.  I knew I would stop at nothing to get back to you as soon as possible.”

“I’m so glad you did.  Once I realized what Gideon had done, I was trying to find you, but the locator spell led me here.  I thought it was a mistake...and then there you were.”

Killian sighed heavily.  “Gideon isn’t going to stop until he eliminates you, Emma.”

Emma’s expression grew serious as she met his gaze.  “I know.  He wanted you out of the way for a reason, Killian.  That means you could be in danger, too.”

“I’m not worried about myself.”

“Well, I am,” she replied.  

Killian squeezed her hand in his.  “Listen to me, love.  We will figure out his plan together and then we will defeat him.  If there’s one thing I vow to never again forget, it’s that we are always stronger together.”

Emma nodded and smiled, as she kissed him again.

...THE END…

Thanks for reading!  I hope you enjoyed it.  I’d appreciate hearing what you thought. ~Steph

[tialovestelevision]

Where the Wild Things Are

I know the premise of this episode, and that means I need to give some background on me. Hello, I’m Tia. I’m a 35-year-old transgender woman from the Deep South. I didn’t realize I was trans until my late 20s, but… well, that’s a story for if I blog something about the nature of gender. What’s a story for now is that, when I wasn’t quite a preteen, my parents converted from “nonpracticing conservative-but-vague Christian” to “hardcore fundamentalist Church of Christ Christian.” My mother, who had introduced me to Asimov and Tolkien and Hawking and Baum and to Meat Loaf and Led Zeppelin and these great, beautiful, PASSIONATE works of television (Star Trek!) and cinema and music and literature eliminated all of that from her life and replaced it, over time, with Bible readings and Carmen and goddamn Veggie Tales and did I mention Carmen? And my father, who’d ecouraged me to learn as much as possible even if he didn’t understand what I was learning, who brought me the Stones and Dylan and protest and war and gotten me my very first computer - a real PC clone! - when nobody else I knew had one because that was the future… he closed off to new information, to the world as a whole. I refused to homeschool even though I was badly bullied because I knew that school would keep me a link to the world. I played their sympathy to study astrophysics over the summer, and learned there to measure the distance to the stars and to see that the universe was far older than my preacher said it was. I was hit. Not as often as some others I knew. What my father did to me would not, under legal definitions, count as child abuse. What he did to my brother, who was far more obedient to what he wanted his children to be but far less able to play the part when he was disobedient, who couldn’t keep his mouth closed to keep himself safe, and who was younger and smaller… that might have. Probably did. But what he did to me still shaped me. The things I heard spoken from that pulpit changed me more, I think. I spent so long being taught the fear of God that it took moving away from faith and wandering through a dozen different belief systems before I could see the wonder of God. This is a story about spirits trapped by fundamentalist Christian abuse and possession. I don’t know how much the nature of that abuse is going to be relevant to what actually happens in the episode, but I think it’s important to know the context I come at this topic from. The author, they say, is dead - what the author intended to say with a work is far less important than what the reader or viewer takes from it - and the reader, the viewer, is very much alive, and comes to everything they read and watch with the context of the life they’ve lived hovering around them. Those are the glasses through which we see our entertainment. With that out of the way… we watch. 1. Previously On gives us a reminder of the romantic relationships so far in the show - Buffy/Riley, Anya/Xander, Willow/Tara. Then we get Buffy and Riley fighting a vampire and a demon. “You get Fang, I’ll get Horny.” Heh. Demon is dead. Vampire is staked. That was a workout. Vampires and demons don’t ever work together, except all the times we’ve seen them do so. But I think Buffy and Riley are going to have sex instead of telling Giles. Yep. . 2. We’re in a house. Is it the frat house? It is. Buffy and Riley are asleep in Riley’s room. Remind me to talk about the Kuzuis at some point - that’s a fascinating story of how the TV industry works. Riley heard a noise… dripping. Creepy music. He’s in the bathroom. His room doesn’t have its own. There’s a leaky faucet. He turned it off. We cut to an ice cream truck in a residential neighborhood. It’s Xander and Anya. Xander wants to go to a party at the frat house, but Anya is worried because the Initiative is there and she used to be a demon. Also, she thinks Xander doesn’t find her attractive because they didn’t have sex last night, which is the third time that’s happened. “I don’t understand. I’m pretty. I’m young. Why didn’t you take advantage of me?” And there are children outside the truck. Xander is very, very fired. 3. Buffy and Riley are talking about the demon and vampire. They think Adam did it, because duh. Giles wants them to see if they find any more odd pairings. Riley speaks Giles’s language when explaining the party, but Giles is going to the Expresso Pump for a meeting of grown-ups that will be of no interest to any of his friends. Buffy can’t keep her hand off of Riley. They’re going off for a quickie before Buffy’s class. 4. Sun’s down and it’s party time, I think. But Buffy and Riley are still having sex. They’re getting yet another condom. Building is unnaturally cold, but that doesn’t seem to be bothering Buffy and Riley. The fireplace just exploded and set an Initiative guy on fire. 5. Spike is trying to rob Anya, but she’s not afraid of him. Looks like the party’s still on even after someone being on fire. Buffy and Riley are at the party. The guy who got burned just lost his eyebrows. Willow and Tara and Xander are there. Buffy keeps staring at Riley and doesn’t hear anything anyone is saying. Anya, meanwhile, is hanging out with Spike. She’s commiserating. They’re both not scary demons any more, and everything is complicated. Love always ends badly. “I’ve seen a thousand relationships. First there’s the love and the sex, then there’s nothing left but the vengeance.” Spike suggested that they do vengeance together… Anya eviscerate Xander, Spike stakes Drusilla. Sounds like a lovely bonding moment. They’re not going to do it, though. 6. Now we get to watch painful minor character flirting. Yay? And one of the minor characters just had an orgasm while standing there and talking to the other. Three orgasms. Xander is talking to a girl. And flirting. He’s going to get eviscerated. So eviscerated. Buffy, meanwhile, wants to go have sex with Riley. The wall is making people have orgasms. Willow is with Tara and talking and they keep staring at each other. Tara loves to ride horses and invited Willow to go with her. Willow tried to touch Tara’s shoulder but Tara was suddenly disgusted. Tara look terrified and ran off to the bathroom. And Spike’s there with Anya. Xander feels all jealous, but Spike shut him up. Spike needs a drink. Anya and Xander fight hilariously. Xander found people playing Spin the Bottle. One is the girl he was flrting with earlier; she invited him to play. 7. Spike is drinking with an Initiative gut. The guy didn’t recognize him, but knows he looks familiar. Xander spun the bottle and it pointed at the girl from earlier. They’re going to kiss. Wow, she’s fairly aggressive with it. Now she’s horrified by what she just did and running away. Xander found the orgasm wall. And someone sobbing in a closet. It’s Julie, cutting her hair off. Willow is trying to find Tara. She went to the bathroom, where she washed her face then heard something from the bathtub. She’s checking it out. One of the guys… no, a ghost. Under the water. Drowning. Now he’s behind her. 8. Riley and Buffy heard Willow scream but aren’t getting up. Willow is searching for Xander and Willow. Found them both. Tara doesn’t like the house because it’s haunted. And now the bottle’s gone mad and exploded and seriously injured someone. They’re going to get Buffy. But Riley’s door just grew a tree that’ll keep them from getting in, and Buffy and Riley are still having sex. In… space? That’s a really long zoom-out shot of their bed. 9. Tara just walked away from the door, and there’s an earthquake. Tara’s on a balcony. The quake is emptying the room, but got strong enough that everybody fell down. And Spike’s strapped to a chair.Graham is possessed by a Fundamentalist spirit that’s preaching to Forrest. Forrest is getting him down to the Initiative, though. Anya’s still in the building and a screaming ghost just ran through her. And the quake is starting again. 10. Spike is trying to break loose of his chair, and Xander got Julie out. She’s mostly bald now. Forrest and Graham are locking the Initiative down. Xander and Spike are going to back inside… well, Spike talked himself out of it, so Xander’s going back in. And got thrown out by a spirit. “Or… it could get Watcher time.” 11. Giles is singing. “Behind Blue Eyes.” With an acoustic guitar. He’s… really good. Xander is creeped out, though. He wants to go back to the haunted house. Giles saw them, but is finishing his song. Willow once had a crush on him, and Anya is staring. Hard. Very hard. 12. Now the tree from Riley’s room has taken over the house, and Buffy and Riley are still having sex. 13. “In the midst of all that, did you really think they were keeping it up?” *awkward silence* “Oh, for a different phrasing.” THAT is writing. 14. Now we learn the backstory of the dorm. It was a house for disadvantaged children and adolescents run by Genevieve Holt. She’s still alive, so they’re going to visit her. “I treated them as if they were my own flesh and blood… gave them hugs and praise when they were good, and punished them when they were dirty.” Oh god, Anya’s face here. 15. Nitpick: I’m watching this with Netflix’s subtitles on so I can get all the dialogue. Netflix’s subtitles for the show miss out on a lot of capitalizations - they never capitalize Slayer, for example. Calling. Things like that. Here, they missed one that’s really important for the cultural context of the story. “Without me, they would have been shut out of the Kingdom.” They didn’t capitalize Kingdom. In Christian writing, you capitalize that when you’re talking about Heaven. 16. Anya’s face here. This is a woman who has committed incredible, often disproportionate, acts of cruelty. Who delighted in it. And listening to this woman describe what she did to children has her utterly disgusted. I think, even if I didn’t know this thing happens, even if I didn’t see the hints of it in my own youth… holy fuck, Emma Caufield, you are amazing here. Head and Brendon are also doing a good job, but wow. It’s Anya’s scene, and it’s almost all in her face, and she’s incredible. 17. The house isn’t haunted by actual ghosts - it’s haunted by the energy of what Holt did to the children there. Intense emotion, pain, sexual energy and repression. The poltergeists are draining Buffy and Riley’s life energy through the sex they’re having, while influencing them to have more sex. 18. Willow, Tara, and Giles are going to bind the spirits long enough for Xander and Anya to get Riley and Buffy out. Anya can sense the haunting, which is a neat talent. Willow and Giles and Tara have called the spirits to Tara’s room, so Xander and Anya really should be going in. Which they’re doing. The tree’s taken over - good thing Xander brought a machete. Wind kicked up when Xander tried to open the door. The spirits threw Tara’s table across the room, and they lost the spirits. Xander got dragged into the bathroom and Anya thrown off the balcony. Xander’s being drowned now. Anya’s up, and the spirits are screaming. She’s going up the stairs… her ankle’s hurt. Her hand got impaled by the tree but she’s tough as all fuck and got Xander out of the tub. Tree’s still attacking them as they head for Riley’s room. They're through the door, and just opened it. The tree’s gone and the house is safe. 19. The last scene was all right and wrapped things up. Overall: Emma Caufield. Anya makes this whole thing work. From the moment she’s having drinks with Spike, this is her episode, and she nails it hard. Seriously, she’s utterly brilliant here. Particularly in her scene at Holt’s house and in the frat house with the tree attacking them… she’s just wonderful. I’m not really sure what to say about the rest of the episode. Fundamentalist sexual repression is incredibly harmful, leaving those subject to it with both serious issues surrounding sex and badly incomplete information about it. That’s deliberate - Fundamentalist Christianity is the Christianity of judgement, or punishment for “sin.” In a world where suffering can leave an impression on a place, certainly that - plus decades of intense physical, emotional, and spiritual abuse of children - would do so. This episode is very triggery. But it’s also worthwhile, because it’s the first real time the writers have given a story to Anya to tell, and good God does she nail it.

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 37

~*~Emma~*~

 Things are running very hot here. I don't mean the sex. Although, the sex is hot. This man. Oh fuck, I don't even know what to think. Thinking isn't the issue anyway. Unless it's that I'm not. Which I don't think is true. It's just that he feels so damn good.

I woke up before my alarm. Sebastian was on his stomach with one arm tucked under the pillow. I noticed a couple of freckles on his back and smiled. He looked completely relaxed and I decided to let him sleep a little longer. I slipped out of bed, tied my robe, and headed downstairs to make breakfast.

 A man-sized version of a rumbled little boy walked into the kitchen about thirty minutes later. He wore only his boxers and that he felt comfortable enough in my house to walk around half-naked made me smile.

 "I woke up alone." He came up behind me at the stove, pulling my hair to the side and kissing the back of my neck.

 Such a simple yet intimate act. I put my hand on his face, "You looked so peaceful. I thought I'd get coffee and breakfast going."

 He looked at the crumbled meat in the pan, "Is that going to be sausage gravy?"

"It is." I could feel him smile against my neck. "Biscuits are in the oven."

"You're so good to me." His arm snaked around my waist, holding me close.

I stroked the back of his head, "I like taking care of people I care for." I turned my head for a kiss. "Why don't you get some coffee and sit down. Breakfast will be another ten minutes."

He kissed my neck again, "I’m starving."  

 Sebastian kept talking while he fixed his coffee, telling me about the food on set and how shitty the biscuits were compared to the restaurant they’d gone to one morning. This led to a general conversation about craft services on set, location, and at concert venues. While it was on a much lesser scale it made for good conversation that I had some knowledge of this stuff. I could share stories and we could laugh together. I think I might feel like a fan if I didn’t have a point of reference and I would imagine that could be uncomfortable for him.

 He hadn’t sat down, preferring to lean in the corner a few feet from where I was stirring. I took my hand from the handle of the pan and motioned for him, “Come here.”

 Sebastian smiled and took the three steps to me, “Yes?”

 I slid my hand from his side around to his back and urged him closer, turning my face up for a kiss. “Will you pour this in the bowl for me, please?”

 “Of course.”

While he did that, I checked the biscuits and pulled them out. He put the pan back on the stove and looked at the biscuits, taking a deep breath. “Smells delicious.”

 “I hope you like it.” I was a little nervous cooking for him.

 He hugged me, putting his hand inside my robe to touch skin, “I’m sure I will.”

 The first bite had him letting out a satisfied groan, “Oh wow.” He took another bite and covered his mouth with his hand, “Seriously, Em, it’s delicious.”

 “Thank you.”

 Sebastian finished chewing, put his hand on the back of my neck, and kissed me, “Thank you.”  When we were finished, he pushed our plates to the other side of the breakfast bar, “You go shower and I’ll clean up.”

 “You sure.”

 He nodded, “Yep, you cooked. I’ll clean up.”

 “Your mom taught you well.” I kissed his bare shoulder and went upstairs.

 I called the Uber to pick us up at ten-thirty. We were downstairs and ready about ten minutes before. Sebastian looked all boy in black basketball shorts, a blue Under Armor shirt, and a baseball cap. I had on an oversized t-shirt over my team tank top and sweat pants with my hair pulled up in a ponytail. The combined excitement of him and the tournament had me keyed up.  Bouncy. Hyperactive even. Unable to sit down, I wandered around while Sebastian sat in the chair scrolling through something on his phone. “You ok there, babe?”

 I was hoping he hadn’t noticed. I jumped up and down a few times, “Nervous energy.”

 He still hadn’t looked up and shook his head, “We should have had sex in the shower.” Now, he looked up with a grin. “Calmed you down.”

 I laughed and walked over, sitting down on his lap when moved his phone out of the way. “Dammit.”

 “Nervous or excited?” He laid his arm over my legs, taking my hand in his.

 “Both.” I fiddled with his fingers. “It’ll go away once the game starts.” I looked up, “Unless it’s all about you.”

 He jerked his head back, “Why are you nervous about me?”

 “The other one. Excited.” I brushed my lips against his softly.

 “Good.”

 I’d told the driver to honk and the noise cut through the moment. “Time to go.”

 I jumped up off his lap, keeping his hand, and grabbing my bag from by the door. It held extra ponytail holders, Advil, tape, a first kit, and cooling rags. We got to the bar way early, a habit of mine. It was good though because I wanted to get Sebastian where he could see. There were four courts with court one in front with seating around two sides. The other three courts were lined up with court four tucked in behind court one with really no seating. The deck along the short side of court one ran the long side of most of court three and all of court two then around the corner of it. Obviously, the better games were going to be on courts one and two.  The deck would be loaded with umbrella-covered tables and a long counter ran along the railing for observing. When the games were over (or any other night) it was just a big outdoor bar. It was a huge complex. Inside was a big open area with a bar that wrapped around two sides. Anything could be going on inside. Karaoke, live band, or a DJ.  

 The Uber dropped us around back and we headed onto the deck. A covered area at the corner of court one was set up for registration and had a board set up with a blown-up bracket. The league coordinator was behind the table and I headed toward him. “Hey, Roger.”

 “Emma. Early as always.” He gathered the paperwork.

 “I want a table by one and two.”

 He looked around for the table signs, “Yep, taken care of. You’ve got your pick.”

 I took our registration papers and the signs with a laugh, “Which is why I’m always early.”

 “And you live five minutes away.”

 “Details.” I waved the papers, took Sebastian’s hand, and headed toward court one, explaining as we walked. “The higher seeded games and the championship will be on one, so we’ll get those tables first. Fingers crossed we play there. We always buy a couple of tables at a tournament because it’s just easier.” I stuck our “Player Reserved Demonic Crickets” sign in the table coils of the table closest to the net of court one then headed back the way we came, to the other side of the complex. “Friends are assured a good view and if we’re out a round we’ve got a place to hang.” I pointed to the other courts, “There are approximate start times for games, but past the first round it’s back to back, so times depends on how fast the games go. Seating for the other games isn’t as easy. Four sucks. Since we’re the three seed we’ll start on court three, but if we win we’ll bump up to court two then one. It’s a double-elimination tournament. The winner’s bracket will be on one and two, losers on three and four.”  I looked between the tables and put the sign up. “You can always go to another table or the railing.” I changed my mind and moved the sign, nodding with my new choice.

 I looked at Sebastian. He was fighting a smile. “This is a new and interesting side to you.”

 I laughed, “You mean the obsessive planner part?”

 “Yeah.”  He wrapped our joined hands behind my back, “Cute and a little annoying.”

 “Also, useful.” I annoyed myself sometimes.

 “I’m sure.” He nodded, kissed my forehead, and let me go.

 I moved to the table and started filling out the form. Standard roster and liability waiver stuff. “Pick your seat, we’ll play here first.”

 “Sure you don’t want to pick for me?”

 A glared playfully at him and went back to the form. Without looking up I pointed to my right, “That one.”

 I could see him suppressing a laugh as he put my bag in the chair I’d pointed to. “Mostly cute.”

 When he’d asked to come, I didn’t even think about him sitting up here with people he didn’t know. I was just excited to see him again. Only when I’d been picking tables did it hit me, I’d be on the court most of the day. “The place won’t fill up until later, closer to dinnertime and the semi-finals.”

 “Don’t worry about me. I’m excited to meet your friends. Do you know where the men's room is?"

I pointed to the end of the building, "Straight through those doors."

"Be right back." He ran his fingers along my lower back as he passed by.

I watched him walk away, twirling the pen against my lip. I stayed lost in my thoughts after he'd gone through the door.

A voice startled me, "Earth to Emma."

 I turned my head, "Right on time."

 Pete gave me a one-armed hug, "You're early so we don't have to be."

All five had walked up together, "Carpool?"

Lindsey shook her head, "No, people kept showing up in the parking lot."

Lindsey's girlfriend Samantha was standing with Pete's husband, Scott. Samantha had a dry almost bitchy sense of humor which I loved, "I’m apparently the designated bar bitch."

 I hugged her, "I brought a bar bitch too. He's in the bathroom." I pointed to the papers, "Sign so we can get them turned in and warm up.”

 Scott looked at Samantha, "Since your bar bitch, I’ll be paperwork bitch."

Where is Sebastian? This conversation would be perfect for an introduction. Everyone signed, Scott took off with the paperwork and the other’s headed to the court, Sam and I sat the table.

 Sam pointed to my bag, "Your date there? "

 I nodded.

 "Will I like him?"

 "Hopefully you'll all like him."

 Sam gave me a look that said she knew I was hedging the question. We’d become friends over her lack of tolerance for bullshit, which is why I answered, "I’m sure you and Pete will get along great with him. Becky’s going to be weird."

 Sam snickered, "Because Becky's weird. Nick and Jeff were dicks last night. Hope their mood is better today."

 I’d skipped out on drinks last night. Glad I missed moody boys, but I wasn't worried, "Maybe they got stoned on the way. Nick plays better stoned anyway." I looked toward the building and thought I could see Sebastian pacing in front of the darkened window. Someone must have called.

 Jeff yelled from the court, “You coming, Emma?”

 Sam turned her back on the court, “See?”

 I rolled my eyes and walked over. I didn’t want to walk around to the end of the courts so I climbed over the railing to get under the netting and landed on our bench.

Scott and Becky had designed out shirts. We all had bright blue tank tops with long armholes. Sports bras were easily visible and I’m pretty sure Becky considered that a feature rather than a bug. Not that I’d protested. I’m very competitive, but there was a social aspect to the game. Looking cute after the game didn’t hurt. Our team name and a graphic of a cricket with demon horns and an evil grin was on the front. Our first names on the back. The three girls had always worn volleyball shorts, but I’d bought us bright orange ones for today.  They were the ones I preferred in college and it’s possible they were a little shorter than what we usually wore.

 I stood up from the bench, tossing my sweats down, and adjusting my shorts. Nick looked at the three of us, “That’s going to distract the other team."

 A voice from behind me called out, "Fuck, that's gonna distract me."

I turned to meet his eyes, "You’re easy."

He leaned forward, "Only for you, baby."

 Nick groaned, "New relationships make me want to vomit."

Jeff added, "Which is why you don’t have one."

Not a one of them looked like they recognized him. I used their banter to give me time to walk over, step on the bench, and touch him through the netting, "Everything ok? You were gone a while."

"Emily called. Best to take it or she’d keep calling. Sorry."

I shook my head and turned back to the team, “Everyone, this is Sebastian." I pointed as I said names, “Pete, Becky, Lindsey, Nick, and Jeff."

The net made handshakes impossible, so he waved, "Nice to meet all of you."

Pete was the first to do the double-take. He pointed to the table, "That’s my husband Scott."

Lindsey repeated his gesture, "My girlfriend Samantha.”

 Sebastian nodded and looked toward the table. “I’m going to go introduce myself and let you guys get ready." He looked at me. “Need anything?"

"Not yet."

He got close to the netting, nodding his head back, "Come here."

 I got closer and kissed him between the netting. He whispered, "Good luck."

 Sebastian was few feet away when Pete did a Ricky Ricardo imitation, “Lucy, you got some ‘splainin to do."

 I glared and pointed a finger at them, “Do not embarrass me.”

 Nick laughed, “Oh, you can be sure that’s going to happen.”

 “He’s our Hall Pass.” Pete smiled dirtily.

 “Both of you?” Jeff shook his head.

 “Definitely. We own more than one copy of Political Animals and Kings.”

 I raised my shoulders and shook my head, “Don’t know what that is.”

 “Your boyfriend kisses boys in both.”

 I cringed, “I wouldn’t use the word boyfriend.”

 Pete grabbed a ball and rolled his eyes, “Whatever. He kisses boys. Hall Pass.”

 I followed behind with Becky and Lindsey, “That’s kinda hot.”

 Jeff passed a ball to me, “Have you not Googled these things?”

 “No, disrespectful. No Googling. We’re just getting to know each other the normal way.”

 Pete passed off to Lindsey, “I’ll send you pictures.”

[briangroth27]

Men in Black: International Review

I had a lot of fun watching this! Men in Black: International isn’t perfect, but certainly doesn’t deserve the disappointing box office and critical drubbing it’s received. I was very happy to see this world again and I hope the final box office tally makes it worth Sony’s time to revisit the MIB again!

Full Spoilers…

Agent M (Tessa Thompson) is everything I wanted from a new MIB agent and from the new face of this franchise! Thompson is excellent in the role, bringing Molly’s lifelong tunnel-vision quest to find the Men in Black after a childhood encounter with them to life in a compelling manner. M’s drive, curiosity, and the way she’s enamored with the science fiction world she discovers was a breath of fresh air that capably matched the energy that Will Smith brought to the franchise as Agent J. The lack of Smith was my biggest worry going into this, since the trailers looked like something was missing without him, but Thompson was excellent and totally brought it. I also liked that she wasn’t just a J clone: while he was shocked but more or less quickly rolled with the weirdness, she was in from day one and loved it. I’d follow her on as many adventures as they want to make and I hope there are many more down the road! M’s love of the MIB world recaptured the magic of the first and third movies and made the setting a hidden place that I’d like to discover and hang out in. I love the uniqueness of her character too: she sought the MIB out and found them. It was also refreshing that she wasn’t just extremely intelligent, but that she could hold her own in a fight too (even if ultimately it’s her compassion that saves her in that instance). They also walked the line of her being legitimately brilliant yet still in over her head, needing to BS some of her skills to get the assignment she wanted within MIB-London, very well. I liked that she got promoted to full Agent status in the end and I hope she gets to discover secrets of the universe in many more sequels!

Chris Hemsworth makes the most out of a few good moments (calling the entire universe a chemical reaction just like love, the respect he gains for M, and trusting his gut that there’s still a good man inside the Hive alien masquerading as his mentor (Liam Neeson)) as Agent H, but ultimately H is washed-up with only slightly-above-average skills, coasting on one big win and unable to back it up. I felt sorry for some of the things that happened to him and Hemsworth was good at playing the realization about who he really is, but I wasn’t rooting for him. The movie comes so close to deconstructing the “roguish screw-up hero dude who’s called perfect anyway” cliché through H that the movie’s biggest letdown was not following through with any real repercussions. H’s greatest accomplishment—giving him acclaim and the ability to coast despite apparently subpar results ever since—turns out to be a complete lie bolstered by his best-bud superior covering for him left and right. The setup to comment on mediocre white men failing upwards and getting second chances they don’t deserve is right there and they even have H accept that he isn’t the guy he thought he was or people see him as. A slam dunk social commentary was within their reach, with a well-liked and charismatic actor in the perfect position to play out that stereotype specifically because he is so charismatic even when he’s being a screw-up. But. Then they go and hand H (probationary) leadership of MIB-London anyway. Agent C (Rafe Spall) was clearly the right man for the job and I feel like H should’ve acknowledged that and turned down the promotion, rather than O (Emma Thompson) saying C’d said H was the guy. That felt wholly incongruous with what we’d seen of H and C’s relationship for the entire movie. H finally finishing the mission he failed years prior shouldn’t have changed anything beyond kicking him into gear to become a productive agent again, not gifted him the leadership of the whole branch. It should be the start of his redemption arc, not the culmination of it. In the end, H really does end up being a mediocre white guy who gets promoted despite not earning it (it’s not like he saved the world or even figured out what was going on by himself). Though an attraction is hinted at, I’m glad they didn’t dig into a full-blown H and M romance and didn’t have her annoyance/revulsion at him transition into love: that felt original and more realistic. A role reversal where H realizes he needs to go back to basics so he re-teams with M might be worthwhile in a future film. Watching him gain perspective that he’s not the best choice as leader would be a great way to grow his character and they’d be able to maintain Thompson/Hemsworth’s friendly chemistry, which is fun.

Pawny (Kumail Nanjiani) was great! He’s my second-favorite alien in this franchise so far, following Griffin from Men in Black 3. His defense of and devotion to M was funny and sweet. His dedication to her as his “queen” was fun and I loved that neither one of them were afraid to call H on his crap. I hope he returns in a sequel! His species’ chess-based social structure (or did humans base chess on them?) was a neat, original idea. It was great to see O again! I loved her in MIB 3 and she was awesome again here (except for thinking H deserved that promotion). Emma Thompson brought a refreshing change of pace to things after Zed’s death in the third film and I was glad that they used her to connect this franchise restart to the original trilogy. She and M built a strong working relationship quickly and I’d like to see that continue.

Liam Neeson was solid as (High) T, though I didn’t buy that T was the most decorated agent in MIB history (which isn’t ultimately a big deal). However, I also didn’t believe the organization would fall because he’d been taken over by the Hive, which hurt the stakes for me. The Agent everyone knew and revered was (essentially) dead, so the actions of this Hive hybrid weren’t on him. I didn’t think about it until after the movie, but I really needed to see more of the nefarious deeds he was committing while pretending to be High T. Instead, it seems like the deception only led to this play for this super-weapon, and that’s…not that bad. There should’ve been bigger consequences to him acting as a mole for several years: what if the course of MIB-London's missions regarding immigration had changed? What if they were mistreating or detaining aliens who didn’t deserve it (they do kill at least two who don’t)? Secretly replacing humans with Hive drones? Stockpiling weapons and technology to arm the other Hive survivors to take over other planets? Keeping his misdeeds at this level didn’t ruin the movie for me, but it does feel like a missed opportunity to do a “dark MIB” story and get explicit about the bigger implications of what damage a mole at that level in the MIB could’ve caused.

I love a good murder mystery and while I figured out most of this one ahead of time (though I thought H was also Hive, even if he didn’t know it, not neuralyzed), it was still an enjoyable ride! It was definitely a smart idea to open the MIB world up beyond New York City and the globe-trotting adventure format gave this movie a fresh, different feel from the others. Introducing the London branch also helped sell the idea that the MIB truly is above the system and outside the bounds of any government (which is a built-in exciting plot if the world’s governments do learn about this secret agency in a sequel…). The darker and seedier alien enterprises we saw here lent themselves well to the murder mystery genre, as well as opening the MIB’s missions up to more than just immigration control and world-ending catastrophes none of us are allowed to know about. Rebecca Ferguson’s arms dealer (who has a third arm, ha!) was a fun part of this world and I liked that she posed a physical threat rather than just leaving fighting to her henchman. It’s a hell of a coincidence that M knew Riza’s bodyguard from her childhood, but there’s a whole “the universe puts you where you need to be” theme going on here, so all right. Usually a coincidence to get characters out of trouble doesn’t work, but this personal connection did. The twin assassins (Les Twins) were very cool and creepy, and I really liked how their abilities to alter the world around them were rendered. Other things like a living beard (Kayvan Novak) and the secret use for the Eiffel Tower were fun touches too!

Men in Black as a franchise is perfectly positioned to talk about real-world immigration issues, so not doing so here was a massive missed opportunity to bring some social relevance into their fantastical world (again, especially with a mole at the top of a major branch, allowing the organization to get dark without irreparably staining it). The Hive absorbing other species while the MIB allow them to live in harmony with humans (even if they’re forced to hide everything about themselves from people) could’ve been an interesting way to examine our own immigration policies and how we treat immigrants once they’re in the country, as well as how we use and monetize their cultures. Perhaps there was an “immigration vs. full cultural assimilation” story that could’ve been more explicitly told about an evil species of aliens that mimicked and eradicated other species by eliminating their uniqueness. Total assimilation was High T’s ultimate objective, but the Hive DNA grinding out everything that made humans and aliens unique to create a nightmarish nothingness from what were once diverse intergalactic cultures could’ve been a bigger, more socially-relevant (and more clearly-stated) deal. Apparently there was a plan to talk about immigration here, but it got nixed in behind-the-scenes struggles over the movie’s direction, and losing that connection to the modern day hurt it. Maybe a sequel could do that instead—it’s not like immigration as a topic would be limited to this film alone—and if the world’s governments found out about the MIB and who they’re letting take up residence here, you’ve got the seeds for a very relevant and high-stakes story.

The film also could’ve taken a minute to gut-check the MIB to see just how differently from the Hive they treat the aliens they disguise as humans every single day, out of the knowledge that people will turn on them in fear (not to mention the fact that they fund their operation through the patents of alien tech sold to humans). Does someone as dedicated to finding out universal truths as M want to stay in that business once she sees the cost, and has H had enough of it now that he’s been lied to about himself? Isn’t M in the perfect position to question what the MIB does, both as an outsider newbie and as someone who watched them erase her parents’ (Marcy Harriell, Inny Clemons), memories? Her brief discussion with O about changing the name from the Men in Black to something less male-centric could’ve continued developing into her asking these kinds of questions about the morals of the agency itself, with O providing the unique perspective of having been in the system, trying to change things but not getting very far. Even if the answer ended up being that it sucks the Men in Black have to help aliens live on Earth in peace by hiding who they really are because humans would be “dumb, panicky, dangerous animals” if they knew the truth about who they were living next to, those kinds of questions are worth asking and would add depth to the series. The realization that it’s us who are the bad guys scaring innocent aliens into not living as their full selves because we’ll react with fear and violence to anyone slightly different is also a sobering message worth emphasizing. I’d never thought about it like that before, but apparently the MIB don’t just protect the Earth from the scum of the universe, they protect aliens from the scum humanity could become if the secret got out.

I thought the humor worked well, especially M’s reactions to things. I laughed a lot, but I don’t know why every MIB movie has to have a fat joke (literally all of them do!). I also did not like that they forced H to sleep with an alien in exchange for a life-saving antidote; that felt gross. The world does seem a little toned down from the zanier and weirder aspects of the franchise for my taste and I hope that’s reversed in any sequels they do (give me truly bizarre things like craving chocolate milk as a symptom of temporal displacement!). It was a bummer to find out they didn’t do an original song for this one like the others (a part of summer blockbuster marketing I miss in general), but I’m glad that they brought back Danny Elfman and the original series’ theme song. I also liked the callback to the first movie via a painting featuring J, K, and Edgar. I’m glad Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones didn’t appear in this, though, as they would’ve overshadowed everything else (and made it even clearer that T shouldn’t be considered the most decorated Agent ever). It was also nice that there were minimal Worm Guys (Thom Fountain, Drew Massey)—I find them much better in small doses—though Frank’s (Tim Blaney) role as an informant from the animated series could’ve come in handy here.

I love this franchise—the first movie is nearly perfect, the second has some solid J/K character development & fun reversals, the third is zany & wonderfully out there, and the animated series did great work expanding the world and proving L never should’ve been dropped by the movies—and it was a big part of my childhood, so I hope that the disappointing box office and reviews for Men in Black: International don’t shut down further installments before they get started. There’s a lot more they could do with this world and these characters: the government finding out about them, digging into the morality of the MIB, discovering actual secrets of the universe, and most relevantly, dealing with our real-world immigration issues (especially since alien immigration is the whole premise and purpose of MIB!). I also think Sony could make a very fun movie out of a MIB/Ghostbusters crossover pretty easily, given the similar tones (the MIB kill an alien criminal who comes back as a ghost; now who’re they gonna call??). It would be fun to see the MIB headline an IDW-Ghostbusters-style comic book someday too.

This could’ve been more socially relevant and a bit more daring in terms of the weirdness of this world (and in the fallout from the truth about H), but that doesn’t keep it from being a good time at the movies. There have been some extremely long breaks between installments in this series—5, 10, and 7 years—and I hope we don’t have to wait that long for the next one.  Check it out!

 Check out more of my reviews, opinions, and original short stories here!  

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Chris' Tv Blog Timeless Episode 16: The Red Scare As always, if you want to comment, just alert everyone of the potential spoilers that you might be dropping. Thanks. Okay, so we need a second season. And one more is fine. It doesn't need to be 9 seasons or 20. Just one more. Because the writers decided that this is the episode they were going to dump everything on us. Are you ready for this? Because here we go. Plot Summary Flynn is taking the final jump. He's going to eliminate Rittenhouse once and for all. Lucy, Wyatt, Rufus, and Jiya all head back to 1954 to try and stop him. Thoughts (Spoilers) The Red Scare is an episode literally designed to set up the next season. Problem is, there hasn't been any confirmation of a second season being green lit. Which would be a shame because the ending left twists that need to be explained. Let's start small, Rufus lives. I know I mentioned his name in the plot summary but yes, he somehow makes it through being shot. How? Well, let's invite Lucy's fiance into the picture. Now I don't recall his name but it's not that important. He was brought into the show at the end of episode one and he was seen in various episodes throughout. He becomes vital for basically one scene and that's saving Rufus. Because he's a doctor. And that's all I really have to say about him. I mean, the show didn't care too have him around so I don't care to really talk about him. Oh and Lucy dismisses him. She lets him go. So now we don't have to worry about him anymore. Next on the list, Lucy's grandpa was/is gay. Now, obviously he hid it from everyone throughout the years but Lucy meets up with Ethan at a "Man's" club and sees him eyeing up the other men. I don't want to come off as insensitive, because I'm all for gay rights and you should be who you are, but I just don't know what to call the place Ethan was at. Other than that, that was an interesting tidbit that the writers threw in. I'm glad the times have changed and that being gay is becoming more acceptable. It's about time for America to step up and be a leading nation in acceptance. Now Ethan becomes important because he's a part of Rittenhouse. Lucy asks Ethan to become a double agent and get her all the information they need to prosecute Rittenhouse in court. Lucy then shows Ethan that time travel is real and he goes about the years digging up dirt on the organization. Lucy arrives 60 years later and meets with Ethan. He gives her a note of the location where all of the documents are and she goes to obtain it. Which brings us to our first plot twist. Alright, let's start with the first plot twist of sorts, Flynn gets arrested. Lucy meets Flynn at a location and she hands him a flash drive with the names of the people who killed his family. Flynn says that he will go back, finish the mission, and destroy the time machine. Lucy basically says she doesn't care what he does just as long as everything goes back to normal. As they're talking, Agent Christopher has a team surround them and they take Flynn into custody. Lucy says she didn't know and Flynn is mad but he didn't seem to pissed. Okay, before the two were surrounded, Flynn handed Lucy the diary that she wrote. When Lucy asks "How did you get this?" He replies "You give it to me." That's mind blowing because I sort of said, in one of my earlier speculations, that Flynn might be from the future. Now whether or not this proves my theory is still left unanswered but that just makes it even more interesting. The next twist is Jiya seems to have an issue. What exactly? I don't know. But I'll try an explain it. The time machine is supposed to only hold three people. When the trio left, Rufus wasn't in any condition to fly the machine himself. So Jiya jumps in to help. As they land in 1954, Jiya has a blood shot eye and eventually has a seizure. When they get back to the present, Jiya is recovering but she has a lapse where she quickly sees the Golden Gate bridge being built in the 30's. Obviously we don't know what this means but maybe she has time travel powers of her own? Or maybe she is a pyschic of sorts that will play a huge part in the possible upcoming season? I can only speculate but that is an interesting plot thread. Next is that Mason is a good guy. There was a point that showed that he might be with Rittenhouse but I'll be honest, I never thought he was. Mason is looking out for Rufus in every way that he can. So it makes sense that he would do what he could to get on the good side of Rittenhouse as much as he could to protect Rufus and his creation. Is it possible that Mason is still a bad guy? Yes but I don't think that's the case. So if we get a season two, Lucy and Wyatt are probably going to be a thing. And I'm okay with that now. Early on, I was against it because it was too soon and there is nothing wrong with them being just friends. Now that Wyatt is starting to see the light more, he sees it's time to move on from Jessica. And that's where Lucy comes in. The two have a moment before the final few minutes of the episode and they hint around to liking each other and so on. Also, I forgot to mention, when Lucy dismisses her doctor fiance, he points out Wyatt as a possible love interest and Lucy just kind of stuttered in saying no. Again, do I think Wyatt and Lucy will work? Eh. I see that there's some of a connection but I'm still not sure if they would work entirely. Okay, so here's the big twist. The reason season two has to happen. Lucy's mom knows about Rittenhouse. All throughout the show, Lucy's mom has been sort of a mystery. She has been in the shadows for the most part. So this is a bombshell of sorts when she drops the ball on Lucy. It all started when Lucy went home to tell her mom about the time machine and that there was a sister, named Amy, and that she was going to get get back. Lucy's mom goes to hug her and says, "Rittenhouse would never let you get Amy back." Lucy's mom goes on to further explain that Rittenhouse has a secret agent already stealing the mother ship to go back and fix everything. And that agent is Emma. It's okay, my mind was like "What the fuck?" As well. By all indications, we need a season two. There aren't enough answers to go around. But here's some theories for ya in the meantime. Earlier I mentioned Flynn didn't seem that angry about being captured. I may need to watch the scene again to make sure but when he hands Lucy the diary, he says that he doesn't need it anymore. This leads me to thinking of two things. One, Flynn knew he was going to get captured. Because, come on. They met in an open place. Anyone could've seen them. It wasn't like he was trying to hide. And two, Flynn knows it's up to Lucy to take down Rittenhouse and diary has all of the answers. I have to imagine that is why Flynn gave it up so easily. I also have to imagine that Flynn knew that Lucy was going to find out about her mother at some point and Lucy is going to need everything she can get to win this fight. Again, this is just a speculating what I think might happen. I feel that Flynn could be done as a character as well. Because he seems done trying to chase down people through time just as much as everyone else is but I don't know if they would axe one of their better characters like that. He's just so interesting. I hope the writers don't mess with him any. Lastly, if we don't get a second season, I'm okay with this ending. Look, it's not perfect and there are questions that need to be answered but the writers knew they needed to take a risk with the last episode. But they also played it safe. The episode ends with a "What's going to happen next?" But you could also ignore that slightly. And the reason why is because the overall tone of the episode is a feel good sensation. The writers knew there wasn't a certainty that they were coming back so they ended it with some good vibes and one last punch to grab those final ratings too push NBC for a renewal. The final question is, "Will it work?" And the answer to that is "Only time will tell." Next Season/Overall (End Of Spoilers) As a whole, this first season has been a rollercoaster ride that had a lot of flat spots and all of the twists and turns were saved for the very end. The series held its punches and threw a flurry in the final round of the boxing match. But it might have been too little, too late. Now if you, or a friend of yours, haven't been watching any of the show up to this point and you were to ask me "Is Timeless worth watching?" I wouldn't know how to exactly answer that. My issues with the show have been stated very clearly from the start. As we got past episode 12, the show really did pick up but the overall feel felt like the writers were cramming together a 50 page paper that was due the next day. Just a bunch of meandering to fill up the word count till you got to the end and you did your best to make the professor forget that the rest of paper was mediocre. I think the best way to put it is give Timeless a 3 episode try. If you like where it's going, you'll probably enjoy the show. If not, then you really didn't waste that much of your time. Plus, it's time travel. You can't really go wrong with that. If I had to rate this episode, I'd go with a 10/10 (Excellent). It did everything it needed to do and hopefully there is enough uproar for the series to continue. Thank you guys for sticking with me through this. I know it was rough but hopefully you had fun for the most part. As usual, thanks for reading!

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 24 Week 6: This Theme Was Crap

I hate doing stuff like this but here we go. I told y’all this week was gonna be a trainwreck. I just knew that none of these songs were going to actually work well with any of the styles (we were lucky that four of the 8 weren’t bad). It was also incredibly corny. And let me just say that this was probably the worst batch of team dances ever. And I think we have enough evidence to make a case to get the show to get rid of them. We haven’t seen a really good team dance since Team Foxing Awesome. Nick Carter was a guest judge as Julianne is somewhere in the country doing Move Beyond. And also he was in a boy band and was on the show, so why not. With all of that said, let me just try and fight my way through this. This is gonna be a tough one. So pray that I don’t throw my laptop against a wall during this recap.

Simone and Sasha- Samba (Score=35)- So I was kinda iffy on this dance. It was not great, but it was not bad. And I thought it was overscored slightly. I think technically, Simone was nearly perfect. Unfortunately, the song choice really affected the actual performance. It just wasn’t a samba song. And it really just didn’t work out. I’m surprised Sasha came up with what he did for that. Because it was rough. With all of that said, I actually think this was one of the better dances of the night. And that’s not a really good thing.

Bonner and Sharna- Rumba (Score=30)- I never realized how corny I Want It That Way was until it got separated from my childhood tonight and thrown onto this dance. I was cringing at those lyrics. Eek. I guess performance wise, Bonner did a good job. Technique and dancewise? Nope. And again, the song also didn’t really fit too well. It fit better than Survivor did for a samba, but that’s not saying much.

Nancy and Artem- Paso Doble (Score=33)- Well, this dance had the potential to be great. And it almost was. The big issue here was Nancy’s nerves. I think she put so much pressure on herself to do well because this song, Free Your Mind, kinda belongs to Mel and Maks’s paso. Those are big shoes to fill. But yeah, she got in her head and the first half of the dance really fell flat. She lost some control, her shaping wasn’t as precise as it needed to be and she was tense. I also thought the cage part was way longer than necessary. Once the second half of the dance rolled around, Nancy seemed to be more at ease, got into the character and really killed it. I thought it was good, she just psyched herself out too much.

Nick and Peta- Jive (Score=28)- To be honest, I missed about half of this dance. At this point in the show, I was over it and forgot it was still on. What I did catch was not that great. Nick was confident and he performed well, but I don’t think his technique was that good at all. I do think he probably should have gotten the same score as Bonner (or really a point or two higher than him as I thought Bonner was overscored).

Normani and Val- Salsa (Score=38)- This was an absolutely awful salsa song. Just dreadful. Just as dreadful as a samba to Survivor. But I don’t think this was actually very good at all. Because the song was so wrong, the energy was way too low for a salsa. I think Normani did everything that she was given, really well. however, she was not given much. There was such a lack of content, that it pissed me off. Val has given her content lite dances more often than not. And when Len calls him out for it and rightfully so, Val talks back? No. Shut up. This dance was full of spins and a few lifts and some arm passes. There were a few other salsa steps thrown in, but they were half assed, so I don’t count those. Normani is doing great with what she’s been given. Val is just phoning this season in and not really challenging her. This was also way overscored and should have been no more than a 35.

David and Lindsay- Argentine Tango (Score=29)- The judges were way too harsh on David. I thought that this was his best performance to date. Both in terms of technique and performance. Lindsay choreographed a great routine that David could execute well. The biggest issue was that lift that he had trouble with. I think he was nervous and never really got his footing right, which made him unsteady. But he kept Lindsay safe, and that’s all you can ask for at that point. Yeah, I enjoyed it, and it should have been straight 8s.

Rashad and Emma- Tango (Score=37)- This was amazing. I really loved this and it was the one dance that sort of saved the night for me. I think the music worked perfectly with the dance. I loved the intro and the staging. It was unfortunate that Rashad did lose a little bit of control because he went after it so much. He also lost his frame a bit. But otherwise, this was my favorite dance of the night. It deserved the score that it got, for sure.

Heather and Maks- Rumba (Score=40)- Well. I will say that this was the type of dancing that I was looking for from Heather all season long. I think this was her best dance of the season. Unfortunately, because of Heather’s background and the fact that I already was so over the night by the time she was up, I didn’t really get to appreciate the way I probably would have without the circumstances. Somewhere down the line, I might look at it again and really enjoy it. But for now, it was good and it was the best dance of the night. PS CAI conveniently missed a lift...

Team Dances

Team Boy Band (Score=33) vs. Team Girl Group (Score=34)- These dances were terrible. Now, I think Team Boy Band was way more fun and enjoyable than Team Girl Group. And they did WAY MORE DANCING. It was clear they all had a good time, even though it was far from perfect. I really enjoyed it and thought they embraced the theme of the dance and the night incredibly well. They really were like a boy band that you see at your 8 year old chlid’s elementary school. You know the boy band that performs at the talent show and everyone claps but it’s clear that only one of them knows what they’re doing? Yeah, like that. As for Team Girl Group, I was so disappointed. They had all of that talent on that team and did the least amount of dancing that I’ve ever seen done in a team dance. I was like “Wtf is this” the whole time. It was a waste of their time, my time, the show’s time and the nation’s time. I can’t even really critique it because they didn’t do much but sit and whip their hair. Maybe do a few lifts and some jive steps and that’s it. It was terrible.

Anyway, all of Team Girl Group was in jeopardy. As soon as they said that and I saw what everyone said Heather got on her rumba, her running order and the fact that she had a lift, I knew she was a goner. And she was. In a “shocking elimination” or whatever. I been telling y’all since the season started that it was going to be her though. She had “SHOCKING ELIMINATION” written all over her from the time the cast was announced. So I wasn’t shocked and was actually expecting it.

Next week, is our immunity challenge/dance off bull. I’m so excited about that. Is next week A Night at the Movies too? Idk. I just know the immunity thing. Bonner and Nick still need to be worried. I would also throw in Nancy and Normani at this point. Now that we’ve started the “shocking eliminations” we don’t know how many we’re gonna get before the finals. And I definitely see one more happening before the season ends. That’s it. Let me know your thoughts on how much this night sucked (or if you enjoyed it) and I will talk to you all soon.