#like i’ve had girls i’ve loved with my whole fucking heart and would lay down my life for them and i didn’t even make their top 5.

[jiniretracha]

Unfair - Hwang Hyunjin

Pairing: Hyunjin x fem!reader

Warnings: fluff, smut, teeny tiny bit of angst (if you squint), hyunjin being a softie and a romantic little shit!

Summary: After getting friendzoned, you rant to your best friend, Hyunjin, about how pathetic you are for not getting a date for Valentine’s Day. Hyunjin would never let the girl he secretly loves so much think so little of herself.

Word Count: 5.2k

MASTERLIST

“Ugh! I’m so pathetic!” you cried as you busted inside your best friend’s room. “Like, so pathetic”

Hyunjin was laying on the sofa, lazily sketching something on his notebook when he heard your cries, making his head lift up to look at you. “What happened this time?” he asked with a knowing smirk.

You sat down on the couch with a huff and crossed your legs under your butt. “I thought he was the one. And he obviously was not” you grumbled.

“Who?”

“Soobin! I can’t believe it” you face-palmed yourself. “I- God! I thought he was into me. Like, he was flirty all the time. We’d go out to eat, which I mistook as dinner dates. He’d take me to the funfair. Shit, he even gifted me that giraffe plushie which I’m obviously stabbing him til the fucking insides are laying all over my floor” you snapped.

Hyunjin was pressing his lips together to contain his smile. Not because you were miserable, no. Because you looked so freaking cute when you were angry.

“Stop smiling, Hyunjin. I feel like shit”

Hyunjin chuckled. “You’re so cute when you’re mad” he said.

“Not helping here”

“Sorry, sorry” he said, placing his hands in the air in defense. “I’m sorry that happened to you, sweetheart. Come here” he cooed, extending his arms, making you sigh and crawl towards him as he wrapped his arms around your body.

“I’m so pathetic” you whispered, feeling your eyes stinging with tears.

“What? No” he shook his head. “Do you think you’re the only girl in the world that got her heartbroken or got her hopes up over a stupid boy that couldn’t see what was in front of him this whole time?” Hyunjin rambled on. “That’s bullshit”

You felt your heart melt at his words. “Thank you for saying that, Hyunjinnie. Really, but I think this time I’m accurately depicting myself. I’m a pathetic loser”

He just chuckled against your hair. “You’re being mean to yourself”

“I deserve it”

“No, you don’t. So what if Soobin doesn’t like you like that? There are tons of other guys who aren’t blind as him” he said.

“Yeah, where are they?” you asked angrily.

Right here, Hyunjin wanted to say. “You just gotta keep looking” Hyunjin said.

You nuzzled your head into his chest, inhaling his scent. You wondered what it would be like to be with him. You obviously did. It had been three years since you met Hyunjin, and you couldn’t get over the fact that you loved him. It wasn’t every day that you make yourself a friend who’s an idol, and every single person on the planet wants and longs to be with him, so you weren’t stupid. Your chances of being with him were slim to none. You got your dose of liquid luck that got you there with him, being his friend.

“I know. But I’m just so tired of missing and missing the target over and over again” you rambled on.

“I get that. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have to keep trying, Y/N” he whispered.

You nodded. “I’ve got no date for Valentine’s. Can you believe that?” you asked, almost to yourself. “That’s what’s pathetic”

Hyunjin chuckled. “I don’t have a date for Valentine’s either”

“Yeah, but you’ll be on tour. Besides, you got seven dates”

“No, ew” Hyunjin shook his head. “I love them, don’t get me wrong. But no, I’ll pass” he said, making you giggle. The sound made his heart clench painfully in his chest. You don’t know I’d give my life for you to continue giggling like that forever, he thought. “I’m sorry I’ll be away. I was gonna offer you to be my date. Figured we could finish watching the last episodes of Daisy Jones”

You sighed. “It’s fine. You gotta be a superstar, duty calls” you giggled. “I wish I could go with you, though”

“Yeah, me too” he nodded. “Why don’t you come, though? I’ll pay for your tickets”

“I got work, Jinnie. I know you’d pay for them. You did that the two times I went overseas to watch you guys in concert. Best experience of my goddamn life, by the way” you said, making him laugh. “But, no, this time I’ll painfully pass. I love my little shop”

You had your own art supply shop, where you sold canvases, acrylic paints and all sorts of stuff that any artist in Seoul would need. Hyunjin stumbled across your shop three years ago and he loved it. He always found everything he needed for his artworks. But the best thing he stumbled across in your shop was the cute vendor that was smiling at him, asking if that was everything he’d need, if he needed assistance or the way you smiled whenever he’d talk.

The attraction he felt was so real and so scary to him, but he loved it. He felt he found the one. And that feeling didn’t change. It probably won’t. Ever.

“I know you love it. I love it” Hyunjin praised.

You lifted your head up slightly to look at him. “Really?” you asked in a small voice.

He smiled and nodded. “Yeah”

You giggled, pressing your head into his chest once again. You let out a content sigh and then closed your eyes, feeling exhausted after crying the whole way back to his apartment and putting up with your feelings for the boy your were laying on.

<>

“You’ll stay here with Y/N, okay Kkami?” Hyunjin told his little four-legged friend that was sitting on the comforter. “You’ll be good to her, aren’t you? You like her more than you like me, anyways”

The comment made you giggle and pet Kkami’s hair. “He’s a good boy, Hyunjinnie. He’ll be okay here with me” you said.

“Yeah?”

You pressed your lips into a smile and nodded. “Absolutely”

“Great” he sighed with relief. “If you need anything, I wouldn’t say ‘call me’ because I don’t trust myself to be with my phone if you needed me, so I’ll just tell the guys downstairs that whatever you need, you can ask them. You can help yourself out with ev-“

“Jinnie” you stopped him with a laugh. “I do this everytime you go away for more than a week” you reminded him. “It is not my first rodeo”

“Okay, yeah, you’re right” he nodded. “You’ll be okay?”

“I’ll be fine. Now go! You’ll be late” you scolded him, pushing him out of his room.

He chuckled and turned around, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Love you!” he called as he made his way out.

“Love you! Have fun!”

“Thank you!”

You shut the door and then looked at Kkami who was comfortably sitting on the bed. “You’re gonna be my date for Valentine’s, Kkami” you sighed.

Kkami barked at you, making you chuckle.

“Yeah, I know. Me too” you said, pressing your fingers into your eyelids. “I miss him too. And he just left”

<>

ONE WEEK LATER…

Hyunjinnie: everything ok over there?

You smiled as soon as you heard your phone chiming with the personalized tone that Hyunjin had chosen for himself.

You quickly typed your answer back.

You: everything’s ok!! u?

Hyunjinnie: everything’s cool. i’m having so much fun, i missed touring honestly. but i miss u as well :(

Your heart literally melted.

You: you sweet little ferret. i’ll tell the kids.

Hyunjinnie: NO! please i’ll never hear the end of it if they know i’m a softie for you

You giggled.

You: for me and Felix, isn’t it?

Hyunjinnie: Yeah, you and Yongbokkie are the only ones i’m soft for.

You smiled and left your phone next to you when you heard someone coming inside the store. As the client finished their purchase and left, you heard your phone vibrating against the counter a few more times.

After the customer left, you quickly grabbed your phone.

Hyunjinnie: so, there’s only five days left for valentine’s day

Hyunjinnie: have you found a date?

Hyunjinnie: i’m sorry i’m sending so many texts. we’re currently having a mini break from sound check

You quickly typed your response, hoping he didn’t go back to sound check.

You: yes, i actually have

Hyunjinnie: oh…

The three dots appeared and then disappeared. Your eyebrows furrowed.

Hyunjinnie: who’s the lucky guy?

You: it’s actually someone you know pretty well

You: he’s been keeping me company these days. he’s lovely

Hyunjinnie: oh

You felt weird watching him reply to you. Wasn’t he getting it?

Hyunjinnie: what’s his name?

You: His name is Kkami. a charming little man ;)

Hyunjin didn’t reply for a solid 30 seconds, the longest thirty seconds of your entire life.

Hyunjinnie: oh lol. i really thought you got a date with someone real

Hyunjinnie: tell Kkami thanks for keeping my girl company

Hold up.

My girl?

Your heart clenched. And so did your core. But you weren’t going to admit that to anyone.

You: i’ll tell him

Hyunjinnie: y/n i gotta go :(

You: nooooo!!

Hyunjinnie: i don’t want to go. but i have to. i’ll text you later, promise!!

You: okay :)

Hyunjinnie: love you! tell kkami i love him too

You: we love you and miss u too hyune!!

You sighed putting your phone down.

My girl.

Yeah, you were not going to let that go.

<>

TWO DAYS LATER…

Hyunjin sat in his dressing room, exhausted after performing for thirty thousand people for 2 hours straight, holding his portable fan in one hand and in the other, his phone. He scrolled his Instagram feed and smiled when he saw that you had uploaded an Instagram story to your close friends.

He clicked on it and his smile got even bigger. It was a selfie that you had taken with Kkami, with a text that said: My favourite cuddle buddy ❤️.

He swiped up, quickly sending you a direct message, reacting to your instagram story.

@hynjinnnn: you two are the cutest!!

@y/n.jpg: thank u <3 we miss u jinnie

His heart melted reading those words.

He instantly clicked on your profile and started stalking your photos. It was unreal the effect you had on him. How every single time he looked at you, or thought about you, his heart would clench inside his chest. Hyunjin was so in love with you, he didn’t know what to do with it.

He clicked on a certain picture, one that did things to him. It was one that you took on a night out with your friends, wearing a short dress that made your chest pop up nicely. He licked his lips and sighed. How is it possible that a woman like you didn’t have a date for Valentine’s? Are men really that blind?

His mind instantly went to Soobin. He knew the guy. He was nice, but Hyunjin really thought the guy was dumb. Did he actually see what was in front of him? Didn’t he notice all of the things Hyunjin sees in you? How perfect you are?

Hyunjin shook his head.

He was going to do something about this. He wasn’t going to let anything stop him from you having at least a little something for Valentine’s. He’d be damned.

<>

VALENTINE’S DAY

You woke up from your slumber and immediately put a hand on your forehead, groaning as you sat up.

“Here goes my pathetically alone Valentine’s day” you said, hopping off the bed. You opened your closet and found the dress you had bought back when you thought you were going to spend Valentine’s with Soobin. “Yeah, you suck” you sighed, grabbing it and chucking it on the floor.

Kkami watched you with curious eyes and it made you chuckle.

“I guess I’m not that alone” you said, grabbing him and taking him with you to the living room.

You put the TV on, clicking on Netflix.

“Twilight it is then” you grumbled, and clicked on it.

As you got through the middle of the second movie, someone knocked on your door.

Your eyebrows instantly furrowed. Who was it?

You peeped through the peephole and saw the delivery guy holding a huge bouquet of red roses.

What the hell?

Slowly, you opened the door and smiled slightly at the delivery man.

“Hello”

“Hi, I’ve got a delivery for… Y/N Y/L/N? Is that correct?” he said.

Your eyes widened. “Yeah, it’s- that’s me. Who are those from?” you asked.

He checked the list and shrugged. “It… doesn’t say” he said, pressing his lips together. “I’m sorry”

“No, no, that’s okay. Do I sign?”

“Yeah, here-“ he said, handing you the paper and you scribbled your sign on it. “Thank you, have a great day”

“Thanks, you too” you said, as you took the flowers from

him and closed the door behind you. “Okay, what the hell?” you said loudly.

You placed them on the counter and saw that it had a card. You quickly grabbed it and gasped.

My muse,

Someone as beautiful and amazing as you doesn’t deserve to be alone on Valentine’s day.

I hope this makes you smile.

Hopelessly in love with you,

Hyunjin.

Your eyes started to water.

‘My muse’

‘Hopelessly in love with you’

Since when?

What does it mean?

Why would he tell you like this?

There was only one way to know that.

You quickly grabbed your phone and clicked on his contact.

You: what the hell???

You: the flowers? the note? what does it all even mean, hyunjin?

You patiently waited for him to answer, and about twenty minutes later, you got your answer.

Hyunjinnie: everything.

Hyunjinnie: it means everything.

Hyunjinnie: you mean everything.

You felt your cheeks getting wet by the stream of tears leaking from your eyes.

Hyunjinnie: i wasn’t going to let my girl be alone on valentine’s day. and as i can’t be there, at least i’ll give you a bouquet of red roses.

You smiled, biting your lip.

You: this is so unfair

You weren’t going to confess to him via text. No. You weren’t going to let that happen.

Hyunjinnie: what’s unfair?

You heard your phone chiming but you weren’t paying attention to it. You were too busy opening your laptop and typing on the airplane ticket website.

Hyunjinnie: Y/N???

<>

ONE DAY LATER…

Hyunjin’s day off was supposed to be relaxing.

But it was the complete opposite of that. He had spent the entire day sitting on the couch next to the window of the hotel room, his leg bouncing up and down and checking his phone every ten seconds to see if he had a message from you.

He had confessed his love for you.

And you said it was unfair.

What did that even mean? Unfair?

He sighed, brushing his hands over his hair, over and over again.

Hyunjin jumped when he heard a loud knock on the door.

“Who is it?” he asked.

“It’s Jisung, open up” he heard his friend on the other side of the door.

He got up with a groan and opened the door. “What?”

“Well, hello to you to, brother. I’m fine, thank you for asking” he said with a sarcastic smile, walking inside his friend’s hotel room.

“What’s that?” he asked, noticing Jisung had something in his hands.

“You didn’t come downstairs for breakfast or lunch, so I figured you’d be hungry” he said, extending his hand and offering him a bowl of raw ramen.

Hyunjin smiled and grabbed it. “Thank you, Ji”

“You’re welcome”

Hyunjin clicked on the electric kettle and poured the hot water on the bowl.

“What’s on your mind, Hyung?” Jisung asked.

Hyunjin sighed. “I sent Y/N a bouquet of roses for Valentine’s” he said and then looked down. “And I haven’t received an answer yet”

“Oh man” Jisung sighed. “I’m sorry”

“It’s okay” Hyunjin shrugged. “I mean, it’s not, but we’ll see” he said, grabbing his ramen and eating a little.

Jisung sat on the bed. “I’m sure she doesn’t want to do anything with you being so far away” he said. “I mean, as far as I know, that girl is obsessed with you. She’s always smiling at you. Whenever we talk about you with her, her face lights up. Even an idiot can see that”

“You’d know that, don’t you?” Hyunjin tried to light up the mood.

Jisung snorted and flipped him the finger. “Ha-ha, so funny” he humorlessly said. “But seriously, I know everything will be fine. Don’t torture yourself with the what-ifs”

Hyunjin nodded, biting on his food. “Thank you, Jisung”

Han smiled. “No problem, Hyung”

He got up from the bed and patted Hyunjin’s shoulder. He got out of the hotel room and as he turned around to walk down the hall, he saw you running towards him panting heavily.

“Ji- Jisung, hi!” you whispered.

“Y/N?” Jisung asked confusedly. “What are you doing here?”

“It- it’s a long story. Where’s Hyunjin?” you asked.

“That’s his room, 806” He pointed at the door on the left.

“Thank you” you sighed.

“No problem” he said, getting inside his own room. “See ya”

You waved and then nervously walked towards Hyunjin’s room. You let out a shaky sigh and knocked on the door.

Hyunjin got up from the hotel room couch, leaving his ramen on the table. Did Jisung forget something?, he asked himself, looking around his room.

He walked towards the door, without checking who it was and his stomach dropped when he saw you standing there, panting.

“Y/N?” he stammered. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

His thoughts were cut short when he felt you tug his head down with your hand by the nape of his neck down to crash your lips against his. His brain short circuited, but quickly put his hands around your waist, pulling you against his chest. You pushed him backwards, inside his room and he kicked the door shut with a thud.

His tongue ran over your bottom lip, bringing you back to reality. You needed him to know.

“Jinnie-“ you said, breaking apart from the kiss.

Hyunjin looked at you and then back at your mouth. “What?” he asked, before pressing his lips against yours.

You smiled, pulling away, and held up the card that was delivered with the bouquet he had gifted you. “This…” you whispered. You saw his eyes flickering with anxiety. “I’m in love with you, Hyunjin. I just… I never ever thought you’d love me back” you chuckled.

He smiled and pressed a loving kiss on your lips. “Of course I am. I’m crazy for you” he smiled against your lips. “You’d think I’d let a friend sleep in my bed, with my dog, and lend them my clothes, and let them cuddle with me?” he asked.

Well, no. Now that you thought about it, the signs were clear.

“Oh…” you said, realizing it. “I’m an idiot”

“Hey. Stop talking about yourself like that, Y/N. You’re amazing. Perfect, even. And so, so, so ethereally beautiful” he mused.

You pressed your lips together, looking down at your shoes with shyness.

Hyunjin brought a hand over to your cheek, caressing it. “I love you, Y/N”

You smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips, a long one. “I love you, my Hyunjinnie” you said against his lips. “So much”

After he brought your bag inside his room, you kept staring at him with lovey dovey eyes. He then turned around and you blushed, his stare making you nervous.

As he kissed you once again, his arms came around you, turning you around and walking you towards the bed with him. He carefully dropped you on the bed while devouring your mouth, which you could barely keep up. He was everywhere. His hands were roaming every single inch of skin he could find while he drowned himself into your drugging lips.

Before dropping himself on top of you, he grabbed the neck of his shirt from the back and pulled it over his head. His toned stomach made you gasp, as you’ve never seen Hyunjin shirtless. He smirked as he noticed your reaction, and he crawled towards you, pushing his face close to yours, in an intimidating manner.

“What is, hm?” he murmured against your mouth before pressing a kiss to your lips.

You licked your lips and raked your nails over his toned stomach. “You’re so beautiful, Hyunjin” you whispered.

“Says you” he chuckled.

“Yeah?”

You felt a surprising amount of courage that made you sit up and pull your own shirt over your head, leaving yourself sitting on the bed wearing your skirt and your pretty white lace bra that you chose for the occasion in case you were to get lucky.

His eyes visibly darkened and dropped to your chest. His mouth pressing against yours with passion made you gasp against his mouth. He pressed you back against the mattress and his hands came up to grope your tits, making your back arch in pleasure.

“You don’t even know the things I’ve been wanting to do to you ever since we met” he whispered against your mouth. He then pulled away and continued his trail of kisses down your neck. “Fuck, you’re so perfect”

His words made your stomach flutter with warmth and you carded your hands through his hair.

“Hyunjin” you whispered into the air.

“What?” his voice came all muffled by your skin.

“Touch me, please” you sighed.

Your voice made his knees buckle. His hands went towards your jeans, undoing them and almost ripping them down your legs. He smirked slightly, watching you from above as you laid on the bed only in a matching set of white underwear.

His tongue came to lick his lips and then pressed a wet, long kiss on the skin of your stomach, making you gasp a little. His mouth started to trail down the kisses down your navel, and onto the band of your panties. He tugged the band with his teeth and let it snap back against your skin. His long fingers grabbed the hem of your panties and dragged them down your legs.

His gaze immediately fell on your core, and it made you self-conscious. You didn’t know why. This was Hyunjin, someone who never made you feel bad about anything. A true gentleman.

Your thoughts vanished when you felt his palms on your thighs, pushing them apart so he could get a good view of your core. He bit his lips and sighed.

“You’re dripping, princess” he murmured, his fingers scooping up some of your wetness and he pressed them on his tongue, licking them clean. “Fuck, I need to taste you”

You didn’t even have time to think, because he was pouncing on you, and started devouring your pussy like it was the last meal of his life. You couldn’t even moan properly, your breath hitching on your throat as you processed what was going on.

His nose bumped with your clit, while his tongue kept pushing in and out of your entrance. Your hands went straight to his hair, pulling every once in a while, making him moan against you.

“Hyun- Hyunjinnie” you moaned, arching your back. “Fuck”

“God, I love it when you say my name like that” he said, pulling away from you and slapping your core, making you yelp. “Say it again”

He then dove right back into business, making your eyes roll back into the back of your head, while your toenails kept digging into his back.

“Hyune” you sighed, as you felt your orgasm closer and closer. “Hyune, I’m gonna come”

“Come, baby. Come all over my face” he whispered, continuing his ministrations.

Your head violently pressed against the mattress as your back naturally arched while your orgasm hit you like a truck. Hyunjin moaned at the taste of your orgasm, lapping up every single drop and not letting anything go to waste.

With uncontrollable gasps, you opened your eyes to find Hyunjin on top of you, his face wet from your orgasm. He kept licking his lips and staring at you with the most enamored gaze ever.

“What?” you asked, with a little smile.

He pressed a kiss onto your lips and then bit your bottom lip. “Nothing. I just was admiring my girl” he said against your lips.

You smiled and your hands went down to his jeans, unbuckling his belt and trying to stick your hand inside his pants, noticing his hard rock erection against the fabric.

His hand stopped your movements. “I wanna come with you, inside of you” he whispered, making you blush.

“Then what are you waiting for?” you asked, arching an eyebrow as you found a slight ounce of courage.

He smirked, his hands going over your back and unclipping your bra, carelessly throwing it away behind his shoulder. He could only stare.

He couldn’t comprehend how beautiful you were.

You felt nervous, and you grasped onto one of his hands, moving it towards one of your breasts, making him squeeze it and brush his thumb over a nipple, making you moan slightly.

His other hand joined as well, and then his mouth. He sucked at one of your tits, while the other one was being assaulted by his hand.

“Jinnie, fuck me, please” you whispered into the air.

“I will, baby, I swear I will” he muttered against your chest, moving onto the other one. “Your tits are fucking amazing, I swear”

You bit your lip to contain a smile.

He lifted his head from your chest and pulled down his jeans along with his boxers, making his cock slap against his stomach. Hyunjin was big, you weren’t going to lie. And most definitely, what you were expecting.

His hands went to the pocket of his jeans, pulling out his wallet. He took a condom from there and quickly ripped it open, putting it on.

“I can’t believe I’m here” you said out loud.

Hyunjin finished putting the condom on and crawled back on top of you. “Believe it, baby” he smiled and pressed a long, loving kiss on your lips. “It’s happening”

You felt him nudge against your entrance and you bit your lip, holding onto his shoulders. He pushed his cock in and you gasped, arching your back.

“Fuck me, you’re tight” he whispered against your neck. “So, so tight, baby”

“You’re big, Hyunjinnie” you whispered.

“You okay?” he asked, lifting his head and letting his hands brush your hair away from your forehead, the action made your heart flutter. “Am I hurting you?”

You quickly shook your head. “No, no, I swear”

He smiled and continued with his movements, his hips kissing your pelvic bone with each thrust. You could only moan against his neck and hold on to him.

“Harder, please” you pleaded. “I know you want to, give it to me like you want to” you repeated over and over.

Suddenly, he pulled out and grabbed your hips, turning you into a face down position. He slapped both your ass cheeks and grabbed your hips, so your knees were resting on the bed with your chest flat on it. He pushed his length inside of you from behind and thrusted into you so hard it made your vision cloud with white spots.

“Yeah, fuck!” you moaned against the sheets.

“Yeah, you like that, baby?” he asked, sweat dripping from his body. You couldn’t answer, really. You couldn’t even form a proper sentence due to his erratic thrusting. Hyunjin slapped your ass again and it made you yelp. “Answer me, Y/N”

“God, yes, I love it” you moaned.

“Good” he groaned, grabbing your hair roughly and pulling you into his chest. His hands went around you, one on your neck and the other one around your stomach, holding you tightly. “I love you, God, I love you” he whispered against your neck.

Your hands carded through his hair and you held onto him. “I love you, Hyune” you moaned as he kept hitting your sweet spot, over and over. “Fuck, I’m gonna come”

“Good, come around me. I wanna feel you” he groaned.

Your back arched as he kept kissing your neck, while his hands gripped onto your tits. With a long moan, you orgasmed around him, without any help from his hands.

He gently laid your body down, on your stomach, while he kept thrusting in and out of you, searching for his own orgasm. Hyunjin gripped your hips as he felt himself getting closer to the edge.

“Fuck, fuck, baby” he kept whispering as he thrusted one, twice and then emptied himself into the condom. Once he had finished, he carefully laid next to you after taking out the condom and throwing it away inside the trash, his hand going to brush your hair away from your face, so he could stare at you. “How are you feeling?”

“Fucking amazing” you sighed with a smile.

He chuckled, caressing your cheek.

You stared at him while biting your lip. “I love you, Hyunjin. So much”

He smiled and pressed a kiss to your lips. “I love you, my muse”

<>

ONE YEAR LATER - VALENTINE’S DAY

You opened your eyes slightly, shifting under the sheets and immediately groaning at the pain that you felt in between your legs.

It was all his fault.

He had bought you a new set of underwear and he had ripped it away from you as soon as he saw you in it. And he was the one to blame for the soreness inside your thighs.

You heard soft pattering coming from the hallway and you sat up to see your boyfriend coming inside your shared room, holding a tray with breakfast. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, only a pair of boxers, which made you bite your lip at the sight.

“Hello, my muse. Good morning” he smiled putting the tray on the bed and crawling on the bed to sit next to you. “Happy valentine’s day” he whispered before kissing your lips.

“Happy valentine’s day, my sweet boy” you kissed him again and again, not able to get enough from him. “I love you. And thank you for this”

“I love you. And you deserve it” Hyunjin told you, grabbing his cup of coffee and taking a sip.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve this. All of you. But I’m so thankful I have this. You” you told him, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“God, me too” Hyunjin sighed.

You smiled, feeling so content with the life you had.

Kkami took you both by surprise by jumping on the bed, making you giggle. “Hey, little man” you smiled at the pet, who wagged his little tail and then barked.

“You wanna know what he said?”

“Oh, God. What?” you asked laughing.

“He just said, happy valentine’s day, mommy”

“Mommy? I’m his mommy?” you asked him.

“Of course” he nodded, kissing your lips. “I wouldn’t want anyone else”

[mellifiedprincess]

anotha one😝 this fic is pure crack honestly, it’s not my best work and i was sleep deprived and wrote this in like 20 minutes, soooo keep that in mind. i also imagined the reader being super short in this, because i may have a wee bit of a size kink (don’t tell anyone🤭) but like how cute would ethan look with a partner that’s like 4’11 compared to his 6’1 ass. AGHHH I CANT

Ethan Landry x Reader

Nap time

Everyone who knew you, knew that there was only one thing in this world that could rival your love for Ethan. And that was napping. You couldn’t help that you were a sleepy girl. You were lucky enough too, that you could nap anywhere. Whether it be your head resting on a hard countertop, the lap of one of your friends, you were even found asleep on the stairs in your parents home once.

Unfortunately though, as of lately, you haven’t been able to sleep that well. And you knew exactly what the cause of this was from, well more of WHO the cause of this was from. Ethan fucking Landry. The boy with the loveliest doe eyes, the boy with the sweetest smile, the boy that stole your heart all those months ago and has told you he was never giving it back.

But he didn’t just steal your heart, no, he stole your ability of napping anywhere your little heart desired.

You couldn’t nap without him anymore.

Of course it wasn’t all his fault, you were the one to snuggle up to him, thinking you were only going to ‘rest’ your eyes for a few seconds. Those few seconds turned into two hours. You couldn’t help it. He was just so warm and smelled so good. It certainly didn’t help that he was running his fingers through your hair while softly humming in your ear. Anyone would have fallen under his spell and drifted off in minutes, if they had been in the position you were in. At least that’s what yoy keep telling yourself.

You had also, by now, convinced yourself he did all of it on purpose.

Which is why you’ve been glaring at him for the past seven minutes. You were sleepy, and all you wanted was to lay your sweet little head down and take a nap. But when your head hits the soft pillow on Ethan’s bed, you find yourself not able to fall asleep. You knew in your head all you needed to do was ask Ethan to come lay down with you, and he would. He would do absolutely anything you asked of him. But you were furious with him. Furious that his conspiracy against you has worked.

“Baby, we’ve talked about how you have to tell me when I’ve upset you, otherwise I won’t know how to fix it.” He wasn’t even looking at you, he had his back towards you while he worked at his desk. “I can quite literally feel the heat from your eyes, angel.” “Well my eyes would be closed and I would be fast asleep, taking my much needed nap if you wouldn’t have ruined them for me.” You grumble out, arms crossed, brows furrowed, adorable pout present.

He drops his pencil at that, confusion wasn’t a strong enough word to describe what Ethan felt. “How did I ruin your nap?” His voice raises an octave higher out of disbelief, and he finally turns to look at you. “I’ve been quiet this whole time and you have quite literally fallen asleep at frat parties before, where it was much more chaotic. I had to nearly tackle someone to stop them from sitting on you.”

“Don’t act like you don’t know what you did!” You yell as you jump up, standing on Ethan’s bed and pointing an accusing finger at him. His brown eyes widen, not sure if you’re just having one of your ‘moments’ as he likes to call them, or if you’ve actually lost your mind. “I don’t though, that’s why I asked you to tell me.” At his remark, you ball your fists up, throwing them down at your side, all while making the cutest grumbling sound.

Ethan stands from his chair, coming to stand in front of you at his bed. Since you’re standing on his bed, you’re looking down at him. His hands grab yours, unballing your “threatening” fists, and he’s pleading with his eyes. “Tell me what I did so I can make up for it.” After a few seconds you throw your head back with a loud groan, before dramatically falling forward to be caught by Ethan, wrapping your arms and legs around him completely. “I can’t nap without you.” You all but cry out, still holding a menacing stare as your forehead touches his.

He laughs. He laughs right in your face. “Stop laughing at me!” You push his face away from yours, squirming in his arms trying but failing to get away from him. “Awe, I’m sorry baby. What can I do to help?” To anyone else, he would sound patronizing, but you knew he genuinely was sorry and wanted to make you feel better.

“Don’t you need to finish your homework?” Your eyes glance over at the anatomy worksheet, and then back to Ethan. “Yeah, well I think my baby needs me more. So, I’m not worried about that right now.” You grin at his words, placing a sweet kiss to his lips, before pulling away pretending to look deep in thought. He already knows what you need, he also knows you’re just too scared to ask. All because you got in your own head about how dependent you’ve become of him. He loved it. He loved that you needed him just for the smallest of things like taking a nap.

“Do you want me to lay down with you while you nap? I’ll even hold your hand the entire time, if you want.” You giggle at that, already feeling much more relaxed. “What if I want to wrap myself around you like a koala? Would you let me do that?”

“You’re already the size of one, so why not?”

“Ethan!”

You’re pouting again, and he could only smile because you were just too fucking cute. “Okay! Okay! I’m done.” He pushes a few strands of hair out of your face, and grabs your chin, placing a few kisses to your pouted lips.

“Can we lay down now? You’ve been standing here holding me for like 10 minutes now, your arms have to hurt by now.”

“Baby.” He says with disbelief. “I’ve held you for way longer than 10 minutes, while we were doing something a lot more physically demanding.” Your cheeks immediately flush red at his words. Hiding your face in his neck. “Don’t get all shy on me now. You were just yelling at me 10 minutes ago about ruining your naps.” He couldn’t help but tease you, it was just too easy.

“Ethan, stop it.” You mumble out. He laughs again, but finally moves to sit you back down on his bed. You climb to the top, and wait for Ethan to join you. He goes to slip under the blanket with you, but you stop him. “No! You have to take your clothes off!” He holds his hands out in front of him, in a defensive manner. “Someone’s not so shy now. You need me to tire you out or something?”

You roll your eyes at your dumb boyfriend, and watch as he removes his tshirt and jeans. “I meant so I could sleep on you more comfortably, you perv!” “You’re calling me a perv, after asking me to strip and defile you?”

You open and close your mouth “I didn’t ask-“ You stop, exhaling sharply through your nose. “Please, E, just get in the damn bed.” “I’m coming, jeez!” Finally, he lays down beside you, and before you could move, he turns and wraps his arms around your body, an innocent grin on his pretty lips. And you can already feel your eyes grow heavy, as his fingers begin to trail up and down your spine and he presses soft kisses to your temple.

“Get some rest, sweet girl, because I will be defiling you when you wake up.” His tone is light and playful.

“Ethannn, can you stop being such a horny teenage boy for two seconds?” Your tone is annoyed. “Yeah, as long as you’re around, that’s not happening.”

“You’re such a whore.” Ethan laughs at your remark, squeezing you even closer, if possible, to his body. He’s finally quiet after that, besides the soft humming coming from his lips.

And he would never admit this to you, but he was having trouble sleeping without you by his side too. He loved the weight of you on his chest, the way your hair smelled. He especially loved when you would take his hand in yours, all while still sleeping, and hold it to your chest. You would hold it so tight sometimes he would lose feeling in his fingers.

He didn’t care though. Because he loved you and all of those things produced a warm, comfortable feeling he never received as a child.

So, he would lay there for hours, and watch the rise and fall of your chest, and listen to the soft snores leave your mouth. All without a single complaint.

[lovingmattysposts]

can you pls do a story where chris and yn get into an argument. and chris thought yn was "cheating". then yn is hurt that he would accuse her of anything like that. so then chris finds out she wasn't cheating then he makes it up to her by buying her fav things. and can you pls make it like, really sad. thank you :)

It wasn’t her?

pairing: y/n and chris sturniolo

summary: Chris sees a photo that was sent to him by someone and it's you all over another guy. But he won't listen to you when you plead with him that it wasn't you.

warnings: mentions of cheating, cursing

quick one

xoxo autumn

I practically skipped through the door of my boyfriends house. Fuck, I was so excited to see him. Still to this day I don’t know how I pulled him. We started off a friends but it quickly escalated to something more one night at the rooftop of some party downtown.

After the first few months, I knew I wanted to marry him. There wasn’t going to be anyone else for me other than him. He was perfect, he was kind, sassy, hilarious, and best of all just him. I’ve never been in love before so the feeling of falling made my heart spin. Made my mind spin. Just seeing him made my stomach fill up with butterflies like I was still some new girl in town trying to talk to the blue eyed boy across the room and we’ve been dating almost a year now.

I walked into the kitchen to see Chris leaning over the counter, opening a soda. I smiled wildly as I walked over to my boyfriend. I stood next to him leaning my head on his shoulder.

“Hey babe” I mumbled as he looked down at his phone. He didn’t look at me as he continued to scroll through his phone. He must just be focused. I sighed and stepped back before lifting up a bag I brought and set it on the counter.

“So I know how you’ve been looking for that one specific vintage shirt and I called the place down in Texas that you loved and they had one left in stock, so I got it for you” I explained pulling out the short of the bag and laying it on the the counter.

He still didn’t look up.

“The packaging it came it was so cool Chris, I almost thought about keeping it in the bag, but I wanted make sure it was the right size and everything” I smiled looking up at him. He looked down at me with a gaze so cold I could feel it in my chest. My smile faded as I looked at him and he turned back to his phone.

I swallowed looking down feeling the shift in energy. “Do you not like it? Was it not the right one? I could have sworn it was the one you showed me, but-“ I leaned looking at him, but he refused to look at me. I just stood there looking at him.

“Are you okay?” I whispered placing my hand on his shoulder. He shook my hand off violently and turned to walk out of the kitchen. I just turned as I watched him walk out.

“Chris?” I asked quietly. He didn’t turn around from my voice as I spoke. I sighed walking after him. “Hey” I said grabbing his arm. He turned looking at me with a hard expression. I let go of his arm and stood back slightly, as I scanned his face.

“What’s the matter?” I whispered. He clenched his jaw as he turned to the side. I just watched him clueless.

“What did you do on Friday night y/n?” He asked looking down at me. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at his face, trying to understand where he was going with this. Why he was so upset. He raised his eyebrows waiting for my response, but I was too stunned to speak.

"Wha-What?" I asked looking at him. "Friday night y/n. Where were you?" He spat at me. I let out a breath, shaking my head. "I-I was out with Sarah, It was her birthday-" I stated quickly remembering. "We went out, I was texting you the whole night" I shook my head. He licked his lips and looked down at me.

"I'm confused" I stated looking in his eyes begging for some kind of answer on what he was going on about. He scoffed and shook his head. "Keep the shirt and keep your fucking story" He shook his head starting to turn away, but I grabbed him pulling him back to me.

"I was! I have picture on my phone I'm not lying!" I yelled looking at him. He ripped his arm away from me. "Oh you've got pictures?" He asked looking down at me. Just the look in his eyes alone made my eyes water. Why was he yelling at me? I nodded.

"Yeah well, I've got some pictures too Y/n. Pictures of you with some other guy" He yelled down at me. I blinked at him. "What?" I asked shaking my head. He looked at me as he pulled up his phone opening it and scrolling through it. I looked down at his phone wondering what he could possibly be talking about.

He flipped it showing me a picture of a dark club of some brunnette/blonde pressed up against some guy kissing them. I smiled and shook my head feeling the anxiety come off my chest. "Chris, that's not me" I said looking up at him, my smile faded as his expression was cold and sad.

"Chris, that is not me" I said louder shaking my head. He rolled his eyes shaking his head, putting his phone back into his pocket. I shook my head. No. No. He cannot think that is me.

"Chris please, you can't think that's me!" I said stepping forward and placing his hands on his face to get him to look at me. He grabbed my wrists pushing my hands off of him.

"I know what you were wearing Y/n" He said looking down at me. I shook my head. "We-we're both wearing a black top and that suddenly makes the picture me? Chris you can't even see her face." I asked, feeling tears weld in my eyes.

He bit his lip and shook his head. "Jules was there Y/n. She said she saw you there all over some dude the entire night" He stated. My heart dropped at the mention of her name. The girl that was absoutley friend-zoned by Chris a week before we started dating. My mouth physically dropped.

"Jules? Chris are you serious?" I scoffed shaking my head, not understanding why he would believe a word that come from that girl's mouth. He shook his head.

"How many guys was it huh y/n?" He asked as I blinked up at him. "Were their multiple before someone actually caught you? Have you been cheating on me the entire year? How many were there? One? Two? Three different guys?" He asked harshly down at me. I shook my head feeling the tears fall.

"Chris stop" I cried stepping back.

"God Y/n, just admit it okay? After almost a year of being together? You owe me to just admit that you got too drunk and kissed another guy" He said glaring down at me. I opened my mouth but closed it not knowing what to say. How was I going to get him to believe me?

"But I didn't" I whispered a tear falling from my eyes. He just breathed hard looking down at me with pursed lips. "I-I can get Sarah and Alicia and-and Chloe to talk to you- I was with them the w-whole night-" I shook my head. He closed his eyes and shook his head.

"It's one thing to cheat on me y/n. But it's another to completely lie to my face about it." He said crossing his arm and looking away. "You're just like every other LA girl" He said turning and walking down the hall, leaving me stunned. I stepped forward shaking my head.

"No. Chris. No" I said hardening my face. "Don't-" My voice broke. "Don't walk away from me" I whispered. He stopped turning around. "You're gonna believe some bitch over your own girlfriend?" I asked shaking my head. He looked at me dead in the face.

"You're not my girlfriend anymore" He mumbled before turning on his heels and walking into his room slamming the door. I stood there stunned. Unable to move. I swallowed as I looked down, pressing my hands against my face.

I heard the front door open. I turned to see Nick and Matt walking in but they stopped as they saw me. I just looked at them as they stared at me like they didn't even know me.

"It wasn't fucking me" I said shaking my head as they looked at me like that. They glanced at each other and then back to me, not knowing what to say. I bit my lip and shook my head, as I grabbed my keys and walked past them out of the door.

-

chris pov

"Get up" Matt said from above me. I just glanced from him back to my phone. He reached down, ripping the phone out of my hands. I sat up, reaching for my phone.

"Matt, fuck off" I spat glaring at him. He threw the phone on my bed and rolled his eyes. I just scoffed and shook my head. "You're gonna die in this bed if you stay in it any longer" He said crossing his arms over his chest.

I just looked down at my lap. I didn't have the motivation to do anything. Let alone get out of bed. "Your girlfriend cheated on you big deal, we live in LA" Matt shrugged making me look up at him angrily.

"We live in LA? That's your fucking rebuttle Matt? My heart is fucking shattered. I thought I was going to marry her." I yelled up at him. He sighed looking down. He sat down beside me as I glared at him.

"Are you sure it was her?" He asked softly. I shook my head looking away from him. "I think I know what my girlfriend looks like" I mumbled, before shaking my head. "My ex-girlfriend I mean" I sighed correcting myself.

He glanced over to me. "There's a party tonight" He stated. I didn't look at him. He's never gone through a breakup like this. He doesn't understand. No one does. I'm fucking destroyed. I can't even think about anything else.

"Could be good for you to get out there, meet some new people" He shrugged. I sighed laying down and pushing my face into my pillow. "They aren't her" I mumbled through my pillow. Matt sighed.

"Dude, do you just want to forgive her then?" He asked annoyed. I sat up looking at him. "You can't come back from cheating Matt, even if she was drunk. It doesn't make a difference" I sighed. He bit his lip and looked down. He reached over patting my leg.

"Then get up, were going out" He said without another word from me and walking out of the room.

-

I simply have no idea how they got me out of the house. I sat in the car, scrolling through my phone not speaking to either of them as we drove to some bum ass party. I pretended to be so focused on my phone but I was only thinking of her.

It was kind of fucked to still be so in love and infatuated with someone who can treat you like you didn't matter. Every time she crossed my mind, my heart clenched. How could she do this to me? That's not the y/n I knew. At least it's not the Y/n she ever showed me.

It is even possible to pretend to be so in love with someone, when they aren't around be someone completely different? Was she even in love with me? What's the point of pretending? The only thing that circuluated through my mind when I first saw that picture was the way another guy was gripping what was mine. Is that insane?

My girlfriend was cheating on me, and the first thing I thought about was ripping that dude's arm off. I shook my head at myself. I wish we had never met. It would have been easier, but now that I know her. It's hard to forget someone like her.

I think i'll be ruined forever because of her.

"Chris"

I looked up and saw Matt looking at me. "Are you coming?" He asked as he opened his door. I hadn't realized we had made it here already. I nodded before getting out and walking to the front door.

Most of the party, I stood by Nick and Matt while they spoke to other people. Just silently nodding and looking around. It might have been weird to other people around us seeing I was the most outgoing one of us and I was just standing there in silence.

I glanced around the room before I saw Jules, standing and laughing with a few people around her. I furrowed my eyebrows before turning to Matt. "Hey, I'll be right back" I said and he nodded as I made my way across the room.

Jules's eyes caught mine as I walked over to her. She looked over to the people she was standing with, waving them off before smiling and meeting me half way.

"Hey Jules" I breathed looking down at her. "Christopher, caught me across the room did you?" She smiled up at me. I furrowed my eyebrows, shaking my head. "Yeah I guess" I sighed looking down at her.

"Word on the street is that you're newly single?" She asked looking up at me slightly batting her eyelashes. I hated when girls did that. One thing I hated most was the desperation that came from most females. Y/n never did that.

"Uh yeah" I breathed. "How did you know that?" I asked not knowing that was made aware to people. She rolled her eyes. "Christopher Sturniolo being single doesn't take long to travel through" She said smiling at me. I closed my eyes, feeling my body cringe from her words.

"How are you taking the breakup, are you feeling okay?" She asked placing her hand on my arm. I looked down at her hand and then back to her eyes, blinking at her. "Yeah I-" I started to say but she cut me off.

"You know if you need to talk about it, I'm always here for you" She said shaking her head, as she slid her hand down my arm. I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest. "We could go upstairs if you wanted to talk to someone about it" She said motioning to the stairs. I looked towards the stairs, feeling my heart beat. I glanced back down at her.

"No Jules, I really just came over here to talk to you about the picture" I sighed shaking my head. She pursed her lips. "Listen your ex girlfriend was a bitch and I'm sorry" She shrugged. My face hardened. She can't talk about her like that.

"I would have treated you better than that" She said shrugging. "Yeah, whatever" I shook my head at her. "Do you remember anything about that night? What you saw?" I asked despreate for some clarity. She sighed before running her hands up my chest slowly.

"Listen, the night was blurry. Sounds like you're not over it" She said leaning up and whispering in my ear. I stepped back and pushed her hands off me. "Jules I'm serious" I stated down at her.

She sighed and crossed her arms. "I don't know" She shook her head. "She was like-stumbling all over the place" She said looking down. My eyebrows furrowed. She was texting me pretty cohertently throughout the night.

"She was like talking to every guy in the damn place" She said, making my bit my lip picturing it. "And that god awful mini skirt it was like she was asking for it" She mumbled looking away. I shook my head holding my hands out.

"She wasn't wearing a mini skirt" I stated looking at her. She glanced up at me, guilt plastered on her face. I stepped forward. "What are you not telling me Jules?" I asked glaring down at her as she stepped back.

"Were you even there?" I asked. She opened her mouth and closed it. "I-I my friends were" She breathed. I bit my lip. "And they said it was Y/n?" I asked she blinked at me slightly stuttering. "Jules" I stated through gritted teeth.

"Okay Okay, It wasn't her" She sighed closing her eyes. My eyes went wide as my heart dropped. "It was just someone who kinda looked like her" She said looking down at her feet. I let out a breath as I stepped back running my hands through my hair.

"What?" I asked looking at her as she stared at me.

I can't hit a girl. I can't hit a girl.

I turned on my feet and pushed through everyone in my way as I ran back up to Matt. His eyes went wide as I ran up to him, breathing heavily. "Chris are you-"

"Keys. Give me the keys" I said holding out my hand, looking at him. He just stared at me. "Why? Is everything-" He started to ask. "Matt give me the fucking keys!" I yelled looking at him. His eyes went wide as he reached into his pocket.

"Here, gosh" He breathed as I ripped them out of his hands and sprinted through the front door.

y/n pov

"Are you doing okayyy?" My roommate Sarah asked peeking her head through the door. I glanced from her back to the ceiling, not responding. She sighed stepping through the door and jumping onto my bed.

"You can't be sad forever. I'm gonna need my roommate back eventually" She sighed. I reached over handing her my phone, showing her a video that's been on replay for the past 10 minutes in my hand.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she picked up the phone looking down it. It was a video of a friend's party that I intentionally didn't attend in fear of running into Chris. It was a video of a few people shotgunning some beer, but in the back of it, it showed Chris and Jules talking to each other as she smiled up at him.

Sarah closed her eyes sighing. "I'm sorry" She whispered. I turned my head to look at her. "I guess she got what she wanted" I stated emotionless. Sarah turned the phone off throwing it to the side.

"It shocks me that he didn't believe you" She said. I shrugged. I rolled over hugging my pillow and closing my eyes not even wanting to think about what Chris might possibly be doing right now seeing that video was posted almost 20 minutes ago.

I felt Sarah's arms come around me. "I know you loved him I'm sorry" She whispered as I squeezed my eyes shut to keep the tears from coming, but I couldn't help it letting a sob escape from my throat as I shook. Sarah's hand came over my hair as she ran her hand through my locks. I couldn't stop crying.

It's hard to get over someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, over some stupid photo that wasn't even you. I wiped my eyes and sighed. "Fuck" I cried squeezing my eyes.

I didn't think it was possible to feel like this. Completely broken, tore apart. Not feeling like you could go on. They say that it was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, but those people haven't ever felt half the pain I was going through right now.

It's not fair. It's not fair to meet someone like Chris Sturniolo and then have him ripped away from you. It wasn't fair. The worst part was he thought I was the worst person ever. Probably questioning if any of our relationship was real. But it was so real. So real.

"I'm gonna run you a bath" She whispered before releasing her arms around me and standing up walking into my bathroom. I didn't reply as I stared at the wall. I'm never getting on my phone again. I bit my lip.

I heard a knock at the front door. I slightly turned my head before looking back at wall. Whoever it was, I wasn't getting it. The knock came again stronger. I looked towards the bathroom, seeing if Sarah heard it and was going to get it, but she didn't walk out.

I sighed as I kept hearing the knocking and ripped the sheets off of my body and standing up, wiping my face as I walked to the door. I sighed before turning the nob and opening the door.

i froze.

Chris.

He stood there in front of me, out of breath, dishelved and eyes puffy and red. My mouth hung open as I looked at him. I opened my mouth but closed it. He swallowed looking at me, before physically dropping to his knees and wrapping his arms around my back pulling his head against my torso.

He squeezed me tightly as I looked down at him in shock.

"I am so sorry" He cried against me. I let out a breath not believing my eyes at the moment. I shook my head. "Chris" I breathed. "I'm s-so sorry I didn't believe you. I love you so much, please, please forgive me." He choked. I swallowed as i looked down at him. I dropped to my knees before taking his face in my hands, tears glistened across hi face.

"I wanna marry you, I want to have kids, with a stupid house and a stupid fence. I want it all" He shook his head. I smiled and felt tears come back to my eyes. "And I hate myself for not believing you" He whispered. I closed my eyes and sighed leaning my head against his shoulder.

He wrapped his arms around my neck and squeezed me so tightly like I was going to dissapear if he let go.

"What happened?" I asked looking at him. He shook his head. "I was an idiot and believed someone over my own girlfriend" He said softly. I smiled. "Your girlfriend?" I asked. He smiled. "Please be my girlfriend again" He asked softly. I smiled pecking his lips softly. He smiled against me as he pulled me deeper into the kiss.

I pulled back, before hitting his chest with my hand. He leaned back his eyes wide holding a hand against his chest.

"Why would you do that to me?" I asked glaring at him. He sighed looking down standing and helping me up and wrapping me back into a hug, standing.

I sighed into his chest as I hugged him back. "I'm sorry y/n. I'm an idiot" He whispered. "Yeah you are" I mumbled. He chuckled slightly as Sarah walked into the room and her eyes went wide. She glared at us before picking up a shoe and throwing it at his head, making us both duck. I pulled back.

"Sarah!" I said shaking my head. Chris stood back up looking at the shoe that was now on the ground. "Oh! sorry! Were you guys making up? My bad" He smiled leaning against the counter. Chris looked back at me with wide eyes.

He leaned down kissing my forehead. "The bitch in the photo wasn't even as hot as you, I should have known" He smiled as I shook my head smiling, just happy to have my boyfriend back.

-

The rest of the week, Chris wouldn't leave my side. Even going as far to follow me to the bathroom. He would just sit against the wall, scrolling through his phone while I peed. I shook my head at him.

When we were text to each other, his arms were around me telling me how much he loved me, how much he cared for me. He blocked that girl on everything without me even saying anything, which I appresiated deeply.

He also suprised me with a dozen roses, a long ass note, and a starbucks coffee randomly one day. I smiled up at him, kissing him.

"I should cheat on you more often" I giggled jokingly. He shook his head, wrapping me in a huge squeezing me tighten making me fight his grip, laughing.

"That wasn't funny" He smiled against me as he picked me up and wrapped my legs around him as he kissed me softly.

eh I didnt really love this one but

tag list @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @miastromboli @secret-sturniolo @sturnsclutter @sturniolodreamz @paper-crab @chrisolivia4l @mwah0mwah @recklesssturniolo @ejswift @kitaysworld @meg-sturniolo @nickmillersn1gf @fr3shl0ve @adrianaturnedpretty @jjslovely @noelknowsnothing @frankdelrayy @oversturn @ghostgurlswrld @flowerxbunnie @ilytrinsworld @lustfulslxt

[stxrsberkshire]

GET HIM BACK!

Theodore Nott x Reader

I’ve never really given relationships a chance. This is because I know how it ends, you’ll always end up hurt and broken hearted. You meet this “amazing” guy, he takes you on a date, he cracks up a bunch of jokes, and like any typical romcom movie you guys will kiss on the first date, you start to hang out with him a lot, he sets up this picnic near a gorgeous view and that’s when he asks you to be his girlfriend, you say yes, you fall inlove with him and plan your whole future with him in your head because you think he’s the one.

Then he’ll break up with you, give you some bullshit reason like “I want to focus on myself first” or “It’s not you, it’s me”

This has always been my mindset when it comes to relationships, but then I met Theodore Nott.

That’s when I realized that I was fucking right.

“I want to kill myself Hermione” I say while laying on her bed as she studies on her desk, she turns around to look at me “Don’t joke about things like that!” she exclaims, “Oh don’t worry I’m not joking.” I say with a hint of sarcasm in my tone.

“I don’t get why it’s such a big deal” she shrugs, “What?” I sit back up, “I said I don’t get the big deal, I mean no offense but Theodore Nott is not all that” she says, “It’s not that, the reason I’m so mad is because of how foolish I was, his reason for breaking up is that he needs to focus on himself but then I saw him making out with some girl the following day, this is all my fault! I have literally been warning myself about this whole relationship thingy, but one cheesy pickup line from that beautiful bastard and suddenly all my principles disappeared into thin air!”

“That’s the kind of effect love has on some people” she says “What?!” I frown, “What now?” she sighs, obviously so tired of my complaining. “I did not fall inlove with him, I liked him but I did not fall inlove with him!” she just raises her eyebrows at me “I’m not lying okay!” I say as I plop down on her bed, “Alright” she says as she gets back to studying.

“I have an idea” I say as I stand up and make my way over to her desk, “what?” she says, not taking her eyes off her book. “I’ll get revenge” she looks up at me “What? that seems kind of petty now does it?”, “Yeah that’s my goal.” she sighs, “Don’t you think it would be better to just take the high road?” I frown “Hermione, when have I ever taken the high road?” she stops to think for a moment, “Good point.” she says, “Mione, I gave up my principles for him!” I exclaim, “Yeah, now you’re giving up your morals as well.” she says “Never had them in the first place.” I joke and she just sighs once again, “Alright. I won’t help you with this, but as your friend I guess I have nothing else to do besides support you.” I smile at her.

Oh Nott, the things I have planned for you.

Hey guys, I hope yall don’t judge me for this. I’m terrible at writing, but I’m hoping to improve so any tips would help. Btw I might consider making this fic a series if yall end up liking this first part so yeah that’s it, hope yall like it🫰🏼

[thebadboyfanclub]

Queen Of My Life (Aegon x Reader)

“I will be queen and write history like my ancestor (y/n) Targaryen”

“The story of (y/n) was your brother Rhaegars Favourite, she was known as “the miracle queen”

“The miracle? Why?I’ve only known a few scattered parts of her”

“She is known as the last good leader along with her husband king Aegon, they were the first and only couple that ruled United and seemed to listen to the worries of their subjects”

“She cared for the small folk?”

“The didn’t call her “our sun” for nothing”

-

(Y/n) was not supposed to be born, a child created after the night Rhaenyra laid with Ser Criston Cole, it might sound evil but as her belly grew Rhaenyra wished for the babe to die, to get rid of it.

The babe came out quickly and earlier than expected, a healthy girl that wailed loudly as she fussed and screamed to get away from her mothers grasp, it was almost like the babe had heard every thought her mother had, the hostility that was created as she was growing inside a womb that it’s owner wished she was dead.

The only person that (y/n) truly loved was Laenor, he adored his daughter and spoiled her to no ends, she had everything laid beneath her feet with one click of her fathers fingers, before her dragon hatched Laenor would take her up in the sky just to hear the little girls sequels of bliss.

“You did it!”

(Y/n) bursted in the room with a dagger in her hand, her fathers dagger that she had just lost. Rhaenyra was quick to restrain her daughter from cutting through her chest, the whole room erupted with chaos as the boiling pot that was her daughter temper seemed to have blown up and was ready to burn everyone.

“How dare you blame me?”

“How dare I? You killed my father just to marry your fucking knight in shinning armour”

The scariest part was not (y/n)s tone nor the raised tone that pierced through eardrums, it was that there was no emotion in her eyes, just plain darkness, Rhaenyra was truly backed against the wall to fight for her life.

Criston Cole was the one to thankfully be brave enough to pull (y/n) away, unfortunately due to her erratic movements the princess had managed to cut herself, earning a deep clean cut from bicep to wrist, her cry of pain was deafening as her blood spilled down to the floor, Criston wanted to throw up at the sight of his daughters blood intertwining with mourning for another man she called “father”.

“Take the princess back to her chamber Ser Criston”

The queen commanded him to which he heartedly agreed. Swiftly he lifted her up to hold her in her arms, she was just a kid, a kid that attempted to not only kill her mother, to also strike down the future heir and accuse her of murder, the queen had followed the two with her eyes as the knight exited the room, leaving all of them in despair over the event.

“We should call a maester for the princess”

Alicent suggested mostly to herself as she spoke to a hushed tone, the queen sped to the princesses room to find her laying in her bed while Ser Criston had torn off his cape to stop the bleeding, Criston was a tormented father that had his hands tied when it came to the matter of his daughter, when she was born he knew it in his heart that the babe was his kin, how could a father stand watching his only daughter lay wounded?

On the morrow Rhaenyras family departed for dragon stone, except (y/n) who had requested to stay behind and become the queens lady in waiting, queen Alicent always felt for the young girl who had inherited Cristons eyes, she could somewhat understand why Rhaenyra had a certain grudge against (y/n), to gaze upon your own daughter and see a man you hate.

One of the few times (y/n) was seen smiling was at her wedding with Aegon, Aegon fell for the princess ever since they were young, he had a very special gift from her that started from his thigh down to his knee, (y/n) and Aegon were extremely competitive so one time during training (y/n) requested real swords, Aegon being the arrogant prick he could be lazily swung his swords while (y/n) bend down and landed a nasty cut.

“How does it feel to be my lady wife?”

“Nothing has really changed, except the fact that tonight we have to land a small little cut on you”

(Y/n) and Aegon were drawn to one another long before their wedding, Alicent had betrothed them to shut the rumours of the princesses moans coming from Aegons room, while partially to quickly hide the fact that (y/n) had not bled for two moons.

Aegon giggled at the comment as he took her hand to place a kiss on her knuckles, after that his other hand caressed her still flat belly lovingly, his babe was safely growing inside the woman he loved.

“It’s a boy”

“I did not know I was marrying a witch”

“Heleana saw it, we will name him Saeror”

“Saeror?! What type of name is that?”

“Saeror the future king… has a nice ring to it”

Aegon surprised them all, he became a wonderful lord husband and stood honourably by his wives side through good times and bad times.

Aegon was present when Saeror was born, he had pushed the maester away to hold his babe, he would have never thought that he would take one look at a bloody little thing that resembled a small kitten would make him so happy, Aegon laughed loudly as Saeror wailed his way into the world.

“Saeror, You will be our legacy little one”

Reluctantly he passed the babe to the wet nurses so they can take care of the newborn, carelessly he wiped his hands to his clothes before kneeling in front of his glowing wife who sheepishly smiled at him, content with bringing the future heir to the world without any complications.

Aegon caressed her hair while his other hand held hers tightly, she had blessed him with a new family, (y/n) shed light in his life like the beacon of old town, how wife was the fire that burned him so sweetly.

“A lot of women say they do not wish for their husbands to be in the room while giving birth, it is said men do not look at their wives as women any more”

“I do not view you as a woman, I worship you as a goddess”

“I did good”

“You did wonderful, queen of my life”

-

Rhaenyra had been absent to every important event, the wedding, the birth of (y/n)s first born, any feast that was held for (y/n)s honour Rhaenyra had an excuse to not make an appearance, sending only a letter as a “congratulations”, the bitterness within (y/n) took over her brain towards her mother in a quick pace.

Quite the contrary with her good mother queen Alicent, she had stepped up to take great care of (y/n) and showed her the way to be a queen, Alicent was determined to be the mother she did not have, she was aware of what life was like without that maternal figure and would hate herself if she allowed that curse to be casted upon another woman.

(Y/n) had proven to be restless, giving birth to three sons one after the other. Saeror, Zenea and little Aemond in honour of her good brother who hugged (y/n) tightly and whispered a subtle “thank you” in her ear when they announced the babes name to the court.

“(y/n) and Aegon the generous” where known within kings landing due to visiting orphanages often to take care of the children as well as funding maesters to visit anyone in need of medical care from the small folk, adored by the public was an extremely brilliant move against the heir Rhaenyra who had fled the capital and lived her life hiding away instead of building her claim.

(Y/n) and Aegon were seen with their children and Ser Criston Cole along with Ser Erryk to kings landing, listening to the small folks worries and strolling through paths like common folk, another clever move was throwing feasts for the children’s namedays were everyone was welcomed, the masses were fed and give their blessing to the princes, Lords from all of Westeros would travel to make alliances with the Targaryens, to offer their daughters for the princes.

“Push my love”

“I cannot, I am tired”

“Come on sweetling this is your fourth time in this bed, you are strong”

(Y/n) pushed with all her might while Alicent and Aegon held her hands to support her and pass their strength to her, (y/n) grunted and breathed heavily to push a new life out of her. She fell in her husbands arms once she felt the relief of the babe releasing from her womb, the sound of a newborn weeping would never get old to the couple, Aegon engulfed her with his arms to bring his sweaty mess of a wife in his arms to kiss her temple.

“Praise the mother, my queen you did well”

“Is our boy healthy?”

“A strong boy sweet one”

Alicent reassured the princess as she followed the wet nurses who did the usual routine for the babe before bringing it to the mother. (Y/n) held her new babe in her arms while she was still being held by her husband, tears that were shed from his eyes hit her shoulder.

“What will we name him?”

“I was thinking Naemor”

“Welcome to the family Naemor”

Aegon cooed at the babe who had started to calm down in his mothers arms. Aegon gave another kiss to his wives head, she deserved all the gold in the world for the sacrifices she had made, to create a home for him in her arms and create a human from his seed, she was his miracle.

“Your grace, your presence is requested to the throne room”

“Oh seven hells I completely forgot of the hearing”

“Is that today? We must get ready”

“My love, you are to remain abed”

“No, I will not give her that satisfaction of missing this, help me please or I’ll do this without you”

Aegon had no choice but to comply to his wives wishes and offer his hands for support to get her up on her feet. Ser Criston watched silently for a moment until he mastered the courage to take a few steps to stand next to the princess.

“A boy?”

“Indeed, here”

Carefully (y/n) laid her newborn babe in the knights arms, Criston could not believe his eyes, a fourth grandchild was presented to him, he was as perfect as the rest of them, they were times that he had cursed himself for what he had done, to fall for Rhaenyras act and entertain it to the point that he risked the highest honour and toyed with his life, this is the moment that gave his life meaning, to see your daughter prevail and become the strongest Targaryen of the entire kingdom.

Once the wet nurses were excused and (y/n) dressed in her gown with the assistance of her husband Criston stayed in the room to rock the babe for as long as he could, away from the prude eyes of the servants.

“You have a beautiful family… princess”

“Aegon could you please take the babe?”

Aegon gladly reached for the babe to cradle him in his arms, the newborn had drifted off to slumber as he was safely rocked by his grandfather.

(Y/n) froze in her spot for a moment as she eyeballed the knight who also did not move a muscle, it was her that fell in his arms for a tight hug. She was not dim witted, the stories had reached her ears ever since she was a toddler, Criston was there for every step of her life, protecting his kin from the shadows.

“I will take revenge for you, do not worry… father”

Criston only caressed her long dirty blonde hair, it was very few times that (y/n) could truly show affection to her biological father, after such an emotional event of giving birth Criston was one of the closest people she had, her true father that was there for her more than her mother had ever been.

“You mustn’t walk in your condition, I’ll carry you there”

“No I-“

“Hush now princess I’ll let you down before the doors agape”

It was pointless to put on a fuss, her father had her off her feet in a blink of an eye while her husband Aegon was on their side with the newborn babe. Soon enough they reached the throne room doors and Criston Cole kept his promising by allowing the princess to stand by herself.

“Princess (y/n) and prince Aegon of house Targaryen”

As the doors unlatched to reveal the couple (y/n) felt like her “family” threw daggers from their eyes to the princess, a part of her wanted to know what was it that she had done that cause such hatred, the other part was quite content with her own family.

“I apologise for the interruption your grace, we happily announce the birth of our newborn son Naemor”

“A fourth son… let me see”

“Allow me my moon”

(Y/n) mumbled to Aegon as asked for their son to take him up to the stairs to the frail grandsire. (Y/n) was in agony the minute she took a step in the room, labour was one of the most excruciating pains she had experienced, however no one could see her pain, the prideful princess smiled as she bend the knee to let the king gaze upon the child.

“A strong son from the most beloved couple of the realm”

“You honour me your grace”

“I believe we need to circle back to the reason we are all gathered here”

“I can understand it might bring a certain uneasiness to you that you are not the centre of attention, still do allow your own daughter to present her son-your fourth grandson- to the king -our father-“

Aegon snapped at his half sister, (y/n) smirked at the sharp jab her husband had landed. Aegon would go to war for his family, he had grown to be a man because of the influence (y/n) had on him, she made him stronger, sharper, a proper king and a protector of the realm.

(Y/n) was proud of the man she had married, she had to admit that when she was to be wed to him she feared for her future, what if Aegons passion for her burned out? What if his taste for wine got the best of him?

Questions that clouded her judgement had kept her up until the dawn of her wedding day, now there he was, not an ounce of quiver as he went toe to toe with Rhaenyra to defend his queen.

“We have decided as a union that our presence is important since we would officially want to announce that we side with prince Jacaerys when it comes to the claim of driftmark”

“What?”

“My brother is the second born of our family, our… late father Laenor had wished for him to inherit it, the power of the ocean runs through our veins”

“What do you know of Velaryon blood princess? I could cut my wrists and you would still not recognise it”

“ I only recognise the blood of a man like Laenor, a knight that fought to defend the realm against the common foe, I do not wish to witness the blood of a villainous brother that stops at nothing to gain power”

(Y/n) had stepped down from the throne that her grandsire was occupying, Aegon paced quickly to her to take their son from her with one hand while the other snaked it’s way around her waist for support, he was observant enough to pick up on the slight trembling of her hands, she was growing tired and the argument of Ser Vaemond was not helping.

“Enough!”

The king declared as loud as he could with the combination of stomping his cane to the ground for a louder pause to the heated conversation. (Y/n) and Aegon turned their backs on Ser Vaemond in order to face the king out of respect, (y/n) even leaned her head to Aegons shoulder to get closer to him, his musk scent was a familiar thing she could focus as she was feeling her knees fighting to keep her up.

“I have heard enough, it is a day to celebrate not to kill each other. I hereby reaffirm Prince Jacaerys of house Velaryon as the future heir of lord of the tides, I should also announce that prince Aegon with his lady wife princess (y/n) of house Targaryen will be declared as my… heirs to the throne… after me”

“It cannot be”

“Aegon and (y/n) have proved themselves worthy of the throne… Rhaenyra, my sweet daughter… you will inherit the… Step-ahhh”

“Call the maesters!”

Aegon felt his wife tense at the scene that was playing in front of them, the time she had always been waiting for was happening, her grandsire was announcing her as his heir instead of Rhaenyra.

The grunts of agony that shook the room from her grandsire caused the small babe to start fussing, wails erupting from her new born son while Aegon started to lightly bounce the babe in his arms.

“Hush little one, you father is here”

“We must go, come my moon”

(Y/n) took Aegons hand to lead him out of the throne room while everyone was preoccupied with tending to her grandsire the king, her pain however caused a flinch while a hiss was uttered from her causing her to come to a halt.

“You need to rest”

“We do not have time for that”

“I do not care what you say, the throne will be there after you take a bath and sleep for a few hours, Ser Criston take my wife in our chambers, I will handle the rest”

-

“So the king died right after he declared a new heir?”

“Correct”

“If he had announced it to the court as you say, why did war ensue?”

“Princess Rhaenyra fled to dragon stone with her family to call banners for support to her claim, the king had passed before the official ceremony could take place”

“And what of queen (y/n)?”

“Her and king Aegon were crowned before the masses at dawn, the small folk cheered at the announcement of that the couple were crowned as king and queen of the realm, men offered to be trained as knights to protect the new queen against princess Rhaenyra”

“So a mother and a daughter went to war”

“Queen (y/n) was known for one phrase”

“The blood in the veins is thicker than the water in the womb”

“The Beloved queen was an intriguing character, a powerful woman with endless potential, her story is the second most astonishing one after Aegon the conqueror”

Requests are open!

[lovingchrissposts]

Jawline

.💖😽

warnings: making out, use of y/n, slight touching, name calling, sweet, soft, short!

I’ve always had some obsession with Chris’s jawline. It was just so.. hot. I know most girls don’t like admitting it, add me to the list. But what I would kill to have a jaw line as sharp as his is priceless.

It’s around 11:34 at night and I’m in Chris’s bed. I’m wearing one of his white “Ransom” t-shirts and my black Nike pros. I have my phone in my hand scrolling on instagram liking and commenting my friends posts. I let out a soft sigh.

“Chrissy.” I whine softly putting my phone down on my chest. He glances over at me noticing my body language. He chuckles softly and clicks a few keys on his keyboard. He grips the arm rests standing up. I smile as he does. He clicks the power button on his pc.

God from this angle he looked so good. I stared at his jawline getting shivers down my spine just thinking about kissing it.

“I’m comin’ ma.” He states before walking over to his bed I’m in. He gets to me and sees my phone on my chest. I glance down at it and he grabs it sliding it into his hands. He places it on the Nightstand next to the bed.

“What’s goin’ on y/n?” Chris asks me before crawling over me to lay next to me on the bed. I roll over so we are both facing each other.

“I just want attention.” I admit glancing down at his jawline, his knife sharp jaw.. god how was i so lucky to land on him. He chuckles softly at my response and drags his hand with the silver bracelet onto my waist. I smile at him and he smiles back. “You have cute dimples.” He whispers poking my cheek making me giggle.

“Chriss!” I whin softly giggling before grabbing his wrist. He glances at our hands and stops poking me. We never have really held hands. I mean sure sometimes but not just like, out of the blue. Like this. I also glance up at our hands which makes me and I blush softly. Chris looks down at me and he softly presses our lips together before he pulls away making a little sound. We both realize we want more.

Chris chuckles and snakes his hand back down to my waist. Shit, shit, shit. I can feel my face immediately going red.

“Relax ma,” Chris whispers into my ear, making his jaw and neck right next to my face. Oh my god it’s right there. I feel my heart flutter. He kisses the side of my face. I grab onto one of the thick straps from his tank top.

He feels me grab his shirt and he starts to kiss my jaw softly. “Oh.” I whisper causing him to softly chuckle against my jaw. I giggle with my mouth closed softly scared he’s gonna stop. He rolls over on top of me pulling away from my jaw.

“Hey,” he whispers in his super hot, low, gruffly voice. God he makes me fucking crazy.

“hi.” I whisper feeling a little shy. He just chuckles making me giggle back. He kneels over me, his knees on either side of my hips/waist. He pulls away slightly and takes my hands in his. He can obviously tell I’m super shy, (if it wasn’t obvious to him already.)

“You doing okay there?” He asks me and I nod my head, he sighs softly and puts a finger under my chin making me look at him straight in the eyes. “Can you use your pretty little words?” I open my mouth to talk.

“Yes, I’m doing okay, just a little ner-“ I start to say but he cuts me off by pressing his lips against mine. Oh my god, every time he kisses me I feel something in my stomach fluttering around. I kiss his soft, plush, pink lips back.

My hands find their way to his jawline. I loved kissing him. It was perfect. He never rushed me through it, he always guided my hands everywhere but.. I wanted to do it by myself. I didn’t need him telling me what to do, don’t get me wrong i absolutely love Chris with my whole heart but I think we’ve kissed enough that I’ve got it down.

“ Chris?” I ask softly pulling back and he also pulls back and looks me in the eyes.

“Yeah?” He asks his lips still wet, his hair slightly messy from his headset. I Shake my head telling him ‘never mind.’ He gives me the look To tell him either way. I sigh softly but give in.

“You don’t need to tell me what to d..doo…” my voice trails off as his lips cling onto my neck. He just softly mumbles against it something inaudible but I just nod softly and bite my lower lip, I exhale focusing on the small nips and kisses against my neck. “Chris don’t stop please.” I whine softly and he nods against my neck.

Once he’s obviously left his mark on my neck he pulls back making me whine softly and he just chuckles softly. “Baby, I gave you what you wanted.” He comments and I look up at him nodding. “I know, I just love you- WAIT-“ shit, shit, shit, why did I say that?!? he chuckles and presses his lips against mine again before pulling back softly. “I love you too y/n, never forget that.”

Ok um, so I got this idea in the shower and I was OH EM GEEEE so I wrote it down and I’m so sorry it took so long to make, but like I can’t even be in the wrong here, Chris’s jawline is like 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻 LIKE DAYUMMMM. Anywhozle I hope u enjoyed and I’m so sorry it took fucking forever to come out. 😜 #schoolsucksass

[fictionalwhores]

Dating JJ would include...

-JJ’s love language is physical affection and you can not tell me otherwise (maybe with a mix of words of affirmation) 

-He holds your hands, traces shapes on your bare skin, hugs you from behind while  on the boat and the breeze blows against you lightly, attempts to braid your hair as Kie instructs him, if one of you guys are sitting next to each other but can’t hold hands he’ll keep your guys’ knees close so he can still feel your touch  

-JJ is a cheeky man and part of that physical affection includes slapping your ass whenever you walk in front of him 

-Hear me out, JJ is the best and the worst with pet names. All day long he can roll out baby girl,sweetheart, and babe (proceeded with a very strung out and pouting “Babeeeeeee”) 

-”Awww, come here, babygirl”

-”Sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere, I promise” 

-”Damn, babe, looking good in my clothes” 

-But do not think he won’t also call you bro, dude, or man at any given point two seconds after calling you a cute name 

-”Seriously, man?” 

-”Bro, stop touching me! Your hands are cold as fuck” 

-”Dude, you will never believe what I saw today” 

-speaking of which, JJ owns the phrase “THAT’S MY GIRL” 

-late-night talks in the hammock admiring the starlit sky 

-if anyone even breathes wrong in your direction its ON SIGHT For this protective boy 

-JJ would 100% start little arguments just to see you get riled up and defend your stance 

-Followed with him kissing you and telling you to relax, he was just messing with you because he thinks it’s hot when you get worked up 

-When things are bad with his dad, he would leave for a few days at a time, which leaves you worried sick because JJ sucks at texting back 

-But he doesn’t want you to see him like that so he says he just needs some space 

-when he finally does come back you give him all the love in the world and he doesn’t try to fight any of it 

-okay I’ve never smoked but I really want JJ to teach me so imagine him rolling a blunt for you and instructing you through the whole process and making sure to stop you before you do too much or hyping you up when you finally don’t cough while taking a drag 

-Seeing who can ride out a wave the longest when surfing 

-Playing on opposite sides of beer pong because you two are competitive against each other 

-Although you and JJ usually get drunk together, on the rare occasion that he doesn’t get drunk and you do, he is right there next to you to help you get home and in bed clean and safe. 

-JJ trusts you around guys, it’s the guys he doesn’t trust and we know he wouldn’t let it slide if  a guy were hitting on you 

-imagine Kie teaching him how to make string bracelets and him making matching ones for the two of you and he plays it off as a joke but he’s so relieved when you actually love and wear it

-one time you two had a date on a boat but you both ended up cuddling and falling asleep almost all day and when John B found you two near the marsh you two were BURNT 

-speaking of dates, can we just imagine sitting on the beach together with feets close to where the waves are coming up and you finding a seashell wash up and then 10 minutes later you guys are both on a hunt to find the most shells and then laying them all out on the beach to make a big heart 

-JJ is a top but is always down to be the little spoon

[pikapeppa]

Karlach/Dammon: Burning Blue

A wish fulfillment fic to answer the question: what if Dammon was the lucky guy to break Karlach's ten-year celibacy streak?

NSFW smut, ~7500 words, from Karlach's precious POV. This takes place the same night that Dammon makes Karlach very touchable again. 🥰 Read here on AO3 instead.

*****************

I’m nervous. Gods, I’m fucking nervous. No, no, don’t be nervous, Big K, you’ve got this. It’s nothing you haven’t done before! It’s just a good old-fashioned come-on, that’s all. Just a good old-fashioned invitation for Dammon to do the beast with two backs with you. No sweat, nothing to worry about, no reason to feel like your engine’s gonna thrum its way right out of your chest.

Ugh, fine, I’m nervous. I’ll admit it, all right? I’m nervous. But how can you blame me? It’s been a decade since I laid a finger on another living soul. One who wasn’t a hellspawn or trying to kill me, I should say. Yeah, the Avernus kind of laying-a-finger-on-someone is really not what I have in mind right now.

All right, there he is. I mean, of course he’s there, it’s his smithy setup in the barn, where the fuck else would be be? Shit, I’m so nervous. What if he says no? What if he doesn’t want to hit the bedroll with me? I might just crumble up into a pile of ash on the spot if he turns me down…

Ohhh, no you don’t. No more doubt. Not another negative word, you hear me? We’re doing this. Come on, soldier, shape up, be confident, all right? Just be your usual big beautiful bold badass self, just like Brynn said. Back straight, head high, tail-barb up: come on, girl, you can do this.

“Dammon! Hi! How’s the hammering going?” Nice, good start. Solid greeting, nothing weird about that.

“Karlach!” he says. “You’re back. I thought you were off to camp for the night.”

He’s smiling at me. Gods, does he ever have a nice smile. It’s like his whole face gets lit up with sunshine. And those eyes? Phwoar. I wonder if anyone’s ever told him how pretty his eyes are. Like two big blue jewels. Or like lightning turned into jewels. Wait, what’s all this nonsense I’m saying? I think I’ve been spending too much time with Gale. Ha, saying something would be a good idea right about now, wouldn’t it?

“Yeah, I’m back. I was wondering, do you — are you done for the day?” It looks like he’s done for the day. His forge is still hot, but it’s just coals now rather than a big old fire. Gods, I hope he’s done for the day.

“Yes, I’m just finishing up,” he says (yay!). “Did you need something repaired? I can rekindle the fire, it’s no problem—”

“No, no, all good. Everything’s tip-top, thanks to you. Listen, I was wondering: d’you want to have a drink with me?”

His whole face lights up, and my gods, I swear: if I had a heart, it would’ve done a fluttery thing like something from a romance book. “That sounds great. Let’s go on inside.” He hangs up his apron, and then we’re heading to the inn.

Yes! First step done, we’re off to a cracking good start! Here we go, inside the inn for a drink, just me and Dammon. How great is this? I mean, not that it’s not wonderful being with Brynn and Wyll and all the rest of those adorable little dumplings, but there’s something special to be said about being alone with just you and the person you’ve got mad horns for.

Here we are, at the door to the inn — and Dammon touches my shoulder. “Go ahead.”

He’s touching my shoulder. His hand, that strong callused hand on my shoulder. He’s touching me, he can touch me, and it’s all thanks to him. Gods, I want to ride him until the sun comes up.

Keep it together, Karlach. Stay cool until you find out if he wants this too. Ha, stay cool! I can sort of almost do that now! Enough for touching, at least, which is all I want in the world right now, and Dammon is touching my shoulder, and… and I should probably get inside the inn now.

I step inside — quick little rub of Darkmaw’s paw for luck. Ooh, Jaheira is still awake, I love her, she’s so damned cool!

Dammon leads me to one of the tables near the bar. “What can I get you? Wine? Beer? The beer is even cold, thanks to Jaheira—”

“Cold beer? Sign me the fuck up!”

He smiles — ugh, swoon! — and off he goes to the bar to find some beer. And here I am, sitting at this table, happier than the happiest clam that ever lived in the sandy banks of the Chionthar. Ha, that was a funny line! I mean, I think it was funny. I bet Wyll will, too. I’ll have to tell him about it — maybe he can add it to one of his stories!

Gods, this inn is nice: all candle-lit and quiet since it’s nighttime, real cozy-like. Perfect for telling a certain smith that he’s one of the kindest, warmest, most wonderful people you’ve ever met and that you fancy his pants off — literally, if he wants it that way. Ohh, I’m getting nervous again. It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s going to be fine.

Dammon comes back and sets down two steins. “Are you all right?”

“I’m better than all right. I’m fantastic.” I lift my stein. “Cheers to you, Dammon. For everything. I really mean that.”

Another killer smile. “Cheers back to you, Karlach.” He taps his stein to mine, then brings it to his mouth, and I do the same — ohhh, beer. Cold beer, my gods, I’d forgotten exactly how good this was! I take another swallow and another — okay, honestly, I am so thirsty. And now I’m out of beer, and Dammon is smiling at me, and no, no, I can’t throw myself at him across the table, I can’t.

He chuckles and puts down his stein. “Can I get you another?”

“Naw, I’m good,” I laugh. “This was great, thanks.”

He nods and rests his elbows on the table (hellooo, rolled-up sleeves and forearms). “So what did you want to talk about? Do you have questions about your engine?”

“No, it’s not that.” No fucking way am I thinking about that right now. “I wanted to ask if, um…” Don’t be nervous, girl. You’ve got this. “You said before that I was — that I’m… touchable. Very touchable.”

Oh no, his smile’s fading. “Yeah, I did. I’m…” He rubs the back of his neck. “I’m sorry about that. Maybe I crossed a line…? This is a big — a huge deal for you, I know it must be overwhelming, the last thing you need—”

Wait wait wait! “Hang on, slow down. You think you crossed a line?”

“I… didn’t I? That’s not what you wanted to say?”

“Hells, no!” Woah, voice down, there are people sleeping in the room next door. “Are you kidding?” I say (quietly). “If that’s what you call crossing the line, I want you to cross all the lines.”

He looks gobsmacked now, which is really fucking cute. “You do?”

“Yeah, I do. I really, really do. If you want to, I mean. I don’t — I mean, I know I’m a lot of heat to handle, but I…” Fuck, my engine feels like it’s roaring. Please, gods, let him want this too. “I want to be with you, Dammon. I… It’s been so long since I was with anyone, and — and now that I can be with someone, I… I want it to be you.”

He doesn’t say anything. He’s staring at me like a fish, actually. Oh fuck, am I totally off base here? Noooo. “No pressure, though! No — I mean, if you’re not into… If I’m jumping the hatchet here, that’s totally fine, it’s not a problem—”

“No!” he blurts. “It’s not that. Believe me, Karlach, it’s not that I don’t want to. I mean — what I mean is that I…” He’s smiling again, thank all the fucking gods. “I would love to be with you, actually. I just… I can’t believe it’s me you want.”

I would love to be with you. I would love to be with you. He said that, right? Those were the words he said? Dammon the amazing smith with the amazing sinew-y hands said that to me, right? Oh shit, he’s still talking.

He gestures at me. “I mean, look at you. You’re Karlach. The Karlach, the destroyer of demons and devilspawn. You’re a hero.”

Oh my gods. Is that really what he thinks? “Wha—? Oh come on! It’s not like that.”

“It is like that,” he insists. “Haven’t you spoken to the kids? Mattis and Ide and them? I mean, I know you have, but you know they worship you, right? You’re like a goddess to them.” He looks around like he’s checking for spies, then lowers his voice. “Honestly? I think you’re better for them than a goddess, because you’re real to them. You mean something to them, Karlach. You’ve given them someone to look up to. That’s no small thing for a group of tiefling kids with no parents to look up to anymore.”

Fuck, I’m gonna cry. He doesn’t even know about Mum and Dad, and he hit the nail right on the fucking head.

He touches my hand — oh fuck, he’s not just touching my hand, but holding my hand. Turning my hand over on the table, his fingers sliding over my palm, his fingers curling into mine like he did right after he fixed me… Gods, my entire throat is full of fucking tears.

“I would love to be with you, Karlach,” he says in the softest voice. “If you’re sure this is what you want.”

Oh, hells. He’s going to make me weep. Swallow it down, soldier, gulp those tears down! “Let’s get outta here. Will you come back to my camp?”

“Actually…” Ooh, what’s this cheeky look on his face? Cute! “Would you be interested in a bed?”

What? No way! “A bed? You’ve got a claim on one of the beds here?”

“Sort of. Me and the other grown-ups have a rotation with one of the rooms upstairs. Taking turns having a little peace and privacy for a night.”

“You and the grown-ups?”

“Yeah — well, we offered to the kids, too, but they want to stay together on the main floor, where the Harpers are. Can’t really blame them, either. But anyway, um, what I was trying to say is, um.” He clears his throat. “If you’d rather use a bed than a bedroll, there’s—”

I’m already on my feet. “Bed. You and me. Now.”

He smiles — gods, that brilliant smile. And he’s on his feet too now, we’re heading for the stairs — oh my gods, he’s holding my hand again. Dammon is holding my hand, his fingers are between my fingers, how fucking nice is this? How long have I been thinking about this — no, dreaming about this? Easy, Karlach, keep those tears in your eyes.

He gives me a little smile as we walk up the stairs. “Fair warning that it was Rolan’s turn in the bed last night, so it might smell a little magical.”

What! Is that a thing? Gale and Brynn never said that was a thing! “Really? What does magic smell like?”

“Oh, no, I — I’m just joking.” Dammon smiles and rubs the back of his neck. “It was a bad joke. Sorry. Pretend you didn’t—”

I kiss him. How could I not kiss him? He’s so — oh, gods, he’s kissing me. His lips, my lips, his hands in mine, we’re — we’re kissing, we’re kissing! Dammon the smith is kissing me, and he’s… Would it be naff as all the hells if I said he was dreamy? Fuck it, who cares if it’s naff? He is gods-damned dreamy. As much as his hands are callused, his lips are so fucking soft, and I’m… I am melting. I swear, I’m melting, he’s making my lips melt apart like a hot knife in butter, he’s touching his tongue to mine… Gods, his hands though? How he uses them? This is fucking magic. His thumbs are sliding over my wrists, his palms skimming up my arms, over my shoulders, oh gods, oh gods oh gods…!

His hands cradle my neck, and his tongue slides into my mouth, and I’m — I’m… I can’t think. I can’t think, I can’t — I can just feel. I feel him: his lips his tongue his hands — how close he is, the nearness of his body to mine, I feel… fuck, I feel everything, every touch of his fingers and every stroke of his tongue, and I — he — shit, was that me? That little kitten-y sound: was that actually me? I’ve never made a sound like that in my life.

He breaks the kiss, presses his horns to mine. “Are you all right?”

I’m a puddle. I can’t talk. I just nod.

He smiles (arghhh, as if I’m not melted enough already!). “You’re burning blue,” he whispers.

Huh? “Huh?”

“You’re burning blue.” He rests his palm on my chest — oh shit, I really am burning blue. I… I’m burning blue but — but I’m not burning him!

“You’re…” My hand’s fucking shaking as I press it over his. “You don’t feel that? Not even a little singe?”

“Not even a little singe.” His eyebrows do that little mischief-quirky thing. “I told you, I’m good.”

I laugh. I can’t help it: I’m as giddy as a kid on her birthday. “Oh ho-ho, boy, you don’t know what you’re doing by saying things like that in a voice like that.” I step closer to him.

His gorgeous smile gets even bigger. “Or maybe I know exactly what I’m doing,” he says, still in that voice — oh, gods yes, his hands are on my neck again, so callused and so fucking gentle—

“Ahem.”

Fuck, Jaheira’s right behind us! “J-Jaheira! I mean, uh, ma’am!” Shit, should I bow to her? What should I do? She’s looking at me!

She smiles — the Jaheira is smiling at me! — then tilts her head. “Karlach, is it?”

She remembers my name! Snap to attention, soldier! “Yes ma’am, that’s me.”

She nods to Dammon too. “Dammon. Good evening. Let it be known that no one begrudges you your fun, but perhaps you should have it elsewhere that isn’t right at the top of the stairs. The only stairs that leads to the upper floor…?”

All right, now I’m going to melt from embarrassment. “Of course! Right! Uh, right! Uh—”

Dammon cuts me off, thank fuck. “Sorry, Jaheira,” he says. “We’ll get out of your way. Out of the way, I mean.” He takes my hand again, and I’m following him down the hall to one of the rooms: a simple little room with a nice cushy-looking double bed.

He leads me inside and closes the door. We look at each other. And we just crack up, we just totally — we’re both laughing like loons, just laughing so hard I can hardly fucking breathe. Augh, my ribs are starting to hurt, I’m laughing so hard!

“Here, sit down,” Dammon chuckles. He leads me over to the bed, and I let him guide me there.

Then I push him down and straddle him.

His gorgeous eyes get big. “Oh! Are you—”

I kiss him again — gods, he’s so delicious. Soft lips, hot tongue, strong hands: oh, I could just die for the touch of his hands. They’re circling my waist, they’re gripping my hips, they’re curling around my thighs… Fuuuck, gods, I’m sparking. Feels like everything’s sparking, like everywhere he touches is shooting with sparks, and I can’t… I can’t wait. I can’t wait anymore. I need more, I need his fucking hands, I need his hands on my skin.

I rip off my top and chuck it on the floor, and his baby-blues drop to my tits. “W-wow. I—”

I grab his collar and I shove my tongue into his mouth — fuck, his tongue tangling with mine: mm, just imagine feeling that sweet tongue in other places… Hellfire take me, I need this man more than I need air.

I climb off of him and start unbuttoning the ol’ trousers, and he grabs my hands. “Hey, hey. Easy, Karlach. Slow down. You don’t need to rush.”

Easy? Slow down? He’s kidding, right? It’s like I’ve never known the meaning of the word. “I…” Fuck, I’m breathing hard, I’m breathing so hard, and every breath feels like it’s making me hotter. Easy, Karlach, slow it down for him.

I gulp down a breath. “I hear you, soldier. But I have to tell you, I… Sometimes it feels like I’ve only got two modes: off, and on-on-on. I don’t…” Damn it, Karlach, breathe. “You might need to show me how to do this slowing-down thing.”

He smiles, and I swear, something inside of me absolutely melts. He’s got this way about him when he smiles, like his smile makes his face softer even when he’s showing his teeth, and it just… It’s such a special smile, you know? Like the way it feels when your mum watches you eating your favourite meal that she made? That’s how Dammon’s smile feels, and I swear on my life, if I still had a heart, it would be swelling up to five times its normal size.

He shifts off of the bed. “I’m happy to show you,” he says, and gods save me, he’s using that voice again. “Maybe I can start with…?” He gestures at my trousers and gives me a can-I? kind of look.

“Yes,” I say loudly. “Fuck yes.”

A big brilliant smile, and then he’s — ah, fuck yes, he’s undoing the buttons on my pants. He’s popping the buttons one by one, not even touching me as he does it, but I swear to all the gods, watching him do this is making me hotter than I’ve ever been in my life. And that includes when Zariel first put this fucking engine in my chest. No, don’t think about Zariel, forget about her.

Dammon pops the last button, then looks at me. “Can I take them off?”

“Please. Rip them off for all I care!”

He grins — gods, he’s a stupidly beautiful man. He’s pulling down my shabby trousers now, finally, pulling the damn things down over my hips and my ass and — oh. Oh my gods, oh my gods he’s kneeling in front of me this is not a drill!.

He sighs. “Karlach, you’re… really beautiful, you know that?”

He’s kneeling in front of me. Dammon is kneeling in front of me. He’s looking at me, his hand is curled around my ankle, and — oh, fuck me, his tail-barb is tracing my calf, his tail is coiling around my calf. His tail, his hand, his — even just his beautiful blue eyes on my skin: he’s seeing me, all of me, my bare fucking skin that nobody’s seen for ten fucking years.

“Are you all right?” His tail-barb strokes my knee, his hand squeezes my calf — fuck, I can’t cope with this.

I grab his shirt and pull. “Please, I — please, Dammon!”

He stands up. “What’s wrong? What can I do?”

I kiss him again. I know, I know, I keep fucking doing it, I keep sticking my tongue down his throat, but he’s so… I… Fuck, his hands are on my hips, on my back, he’s — shit, he’s stroking my shoulder blades. His fingers are tracing over my vents like it’s the most normal thing in the world to touch a woman with fucking vents in her skin, and I’m… I feel so… It’s like I’m full, my chest, my tummy, it’s like I’m so, so full — but it just reminds me of how empty I’ve been for so long. And I need him to… I need more. I have to have more. I need him to remind me of how good it is to feel this fucking full.

I grip his collar. “I need you naked. Right now.”

He laughs: argh, that laugh, how soft it is, how sweet! “I thought you wanted me to show you ‘slow’.”

“You can show me slow with your kit off.” I know what I sound like, I sound desperate as all the hells, but I do not fucking care. A river of blue heat is running through my veins, and my skin is fucking vibrating for more: more of him, more of his skin touching mine — gods, I want to slide against him like we’ve both been fucking greased.

“All right,” he chuckles. “You talked me into it.” He takes off his scarf, then starts taking off his vest, and I start working on his belt. I’m just helping, right? Just being a good old helper, that’s me. Ha, his belt is off, his vest is off, just a pesky shirt and trousers now — oh-ho, he’s a fast one with the shirt, we love a man who can strip like a fast-changer at the circus! It’s just the trousers left now. I grab for his laces —

Oh yes, he’s kissing me. His hands on my neck, his tongue so fucking sweet and slow in my mouth — gods alive, kissing is fantastic, so fucking fantastic it’s unreal. He’s pulling me close, his hands on my hips and his chest — fuuuck me Dammon, his sternal ridges are rubbing my nipples.

I can’t fucking cope. I can’t fucking cope, I can’t think, it feels so fucking good, I’m making that noise again like a hungry kitten begging for milk…

He peels his lips from mine. “See? I knew you could do it.”

“Do what?” I whimper. Yes, I whimpered like a kitten, all right? Whatever, shut up about it.

“You’re going slow,” he says in that voice. “You’re doing it right now.”

I’ve not a clue what he’s talking about. I’ve never felt less slow in my whole fucking life. “What do you mean?”

“My trousers,” he says. “You stopped trying to take them off.”

I burst out laughing. (It’s mostly hysteria, I’m fucking telling you.) “It’s not ‘cause I want to stop! I just can’t, uh…” Oh gods oh gods: his tail. His tail-barb is caressing my butt and giving me shivers — gods, what a life! When was the last time I got a shiver about anything? — oh my fucking gods, his tail is twining around my thigh.

I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I’m alive with desire, I’m so fucking alive, and all he’s doing is curling his tail around my upper thigh. But his tail is so close — he’s so close, the smooth heat of his tail curling so fucking close to where I’m burning so hot…

That kitten noise squeaks out of me again. “Dammon, please…” I stroke his chest — my palms on his chest, my fingers on the ridges of his ribs, I’m touching him. I’m pressed against him from thigh to chest, I’m pulling him closer with my tail, I’m petting the ridges of his back and his shoulder blades — ooh, he’s got wingtips!

“You have wingtips!” I gasp. “Aw, how lucky are you? My mum always said these were good luck!”

He laughs that precious little laugh. “My grandmother said the same. Said it means I’ll be able to fly in my next life.”

“Aww, I love that. Makes me extra-wish I had a pair myself.” I trace the sharp little hooks with my fingers, then keep running my hands over the ridges of his back. Damn, skin is amazing. It’s really an amazing, amazing thing, and nobody even bothers to think about how amazing it is. Skin and muscles, too, like these nice wiry ropes of muscles in his upper back and his arms… Phwoar, his arms are bloody fit. I mean, of course they are, he’s a fucking smith, but still: I didn’t realize just how damn fit he was under his clothes. And these veins in his forearms? The way they pop, and the burn scars on his forearms and his hands? He might even have more scars on his arms and hands than I do, which is saying a hell of a lot.

Hellfire fucking take me, he is gods-damned beautiful. The scars, the ridges of his spine and his sternum, the wiry muscle of his smithy’s bod — not just his body, either, but his jaw, his nose, that heart-melting jewel-eyed smile…

Oops. Embarrassing. I went totally silent while I was touching him. “Sorry. Went into my own little world for a minute there.”

Another soft laugh. “Don’t even think about being sorry,” he says, and he lifts his hand… Ohhh, he’s touching my cheek. He’s holding my cheek in his palm, just cradling my cheek like it’s a baby bird… How long has it been since I’ve had a hand on my cheek? A nice hand, mind you, not a blood-covered clawed hand trying to gouge my eyes out. Too fucking long, that’s how: too fucking long with no caring hands to touch me or hold me or hug me when things got fucking rough. But that’s all over now, thanks to Dammon. I can touch and be touched, I can kiss and be kissed, I can climb this rip-roaringly gorgeous man in front of me, and I swear to every god that’s listening that that’s what I’m going to do all night long.

I kiss him and pull him close with my hands and tail. I stroke his spine with my tail-barb, I lick his tongue like it’s the sweetest thing in all the realms, I rub myself against him like I’m some pent-up kid who doesn’t know what they’re doing yet, and it all feels fucking fantastic. And he’s touching me too, his claws scratching my neck so super-gently while we kiss, his hands on my back, my hips — wowee, his hands on my ass! I want that, yes more—!

He palms my backside and pulls me tight to his body — fuck, he’s hard. He’s hard he’s hard he’s hard, I can feel him rubbing against my ladybits through his trousers — augh he’s still wearing trousers, fuck my life upside down!

I break from his kiss. “Take your trousers off,” I beg. “Just take them off already, all right? I need them off, I can’t — I really really want them off!”

“I’ll take them off. It’s all right,” he says in this dreamy calm-soothing voice, and his tail starts uncurling from around my thigh—

Fuck fuck fuck oh my gods yes his tail is sliding between my legs. It’s — fuck, his tail, he’s petting my cunt with his tail, it’s sliding between my legs and stroking me as it unwinds from my thigh and oh my gods it feels so good, how am I supposed to survive—? “Mm ah fuck!”

His tail is gone. His arms are around me. “Was that okay?”

I am fucking gasping. “You tease,” I choke out.

He laughs, his lips close to mine. “Not a tease. I’m going to carry through, I promise.” Mmm, he’s kissing me again, he’s so fucking yummy, and he’s untying his trousers and I’m vibrating and I can hardly keep fucking still—

He pushes his trousers down and his cock is out. His cock, it’s hard, he’s hard — oh my god his cock. It’s gorgeous. I mean, it’s a cock, cocks are always a little funny-looking, I don’t know how folks who’ve got ‘em can cope with them, but Dammon’s is out and it’s gorgeous — fuck me yes he’s stroking it I want to do that.

I push his hand away, replace it with mine, and he gasps. “Ah—”

I kiss him. I’m stroking him, I’m walking him back toward the bed, he falls onto the bed and I’m climbing onto him and gasping into his mouth and stroking this thick pretty cock of his—

His hands are in my hair. “Karlach, slow down,” he gasps. “Slow down for a minute, all right?”

Fuuuck, fuck fuck, I can’t. No, I have to, I have to slow down for him. “Help me,” I beg. “I don’t know how.”

“It’s all right,” he pants, and he presses his horns to mine. “Just breathe with me for a second, okay?”

I nod. Breathe, I can do that, that’s totally something I can do. Just breathe. I close my eyes, I feel the sweet ridges of his horns against mine, I feel his breath tickling my lips because he’s breathing too, I feel — woah yes, that’s his tail. His tail-barb is tracing my lower spine, tracing lower still — eep he poked my bum!

I burst out a laugh. “You rotter!”

He laughs, too: fuck me, I adore his laugh. He’s laughing against my lips, his tail-barb is gliding down over my bum… oh fuck, it’s moving down to my thigh, around my thigh, drifting between my legs, is he going to—? Oh gods Dammon please yes!

“Yes!” I gasp — fuck, his tail, he’s petting my cunt with his tail oh my gods I’m going to explode.

“Easy, Karlach,” he whispers. His hands cradle my neck, perfect callused hands, fuck his tail is petting me, caressing me, touching parts of me that I’ve been dreaming of being touched for years — ah yes that’s the fucking spot right there, right there fuck right there yes!

“Dammon,” I mewl — yes, I fucking mewled like a cat, I’m mewling and my back is arching like I’m a bitch in heat, but really? That’s exactly what I am. I’m in fucking heat for this man. I’m burning for him, burning for more of this, burning alive with his tail petting that red-hot little button of love. Dammon’s breathing hard, too, his fingers gripping my hair and his hips moving under me while his tail-barb does its work between my legs. It’s like he’s getting desperate too, so desperate that he can’t keep still while his tail is petting me, and I love that he’s getting desperate. I want him to unravel just like I’m doing now. I want to hear him moaning, I want to see him bucking his hips for more, I want — I want him so badly, I want this so much, it’s happening right now and I still want it like it’s out of my reach. How does that make any sense? Why am I longing for something while it’s happening right now, right here, with this insanely beautiful man I’ve been fantasizing about since I first clapped eyes on him?

Oh fuck, why am I getting emotional?

He strokes my hair. “Hey, are you okay?”

Oh gods, there’s a moan to his voice already. He’s breathing hard like he’s the one being touched, like he’s the one who’s getting tail-fucked more perfectly than even my best fantasies — ah, fuck me, his touch, the way his tail is rubbing my clit just right, it’s so — he’s so, so fucking perfect, he feels so right, this feels so right: Dammon’s hands in my hair, his body under mine, his tail petting my cunt and his lips breathing into mine… My gods, I’m so… he’s so, this is, I’m… fuck, I’m so close, I’m getting closer, I’m going to fucking blow I’m going to—

Yes. Yes yes yesyesyesfuckmeican’tbreatheohmygods kiss me Dammon fucking kiss me—

His tongue in my mouth. Moaning, is that me or him? No idea, who cares, I’m a fucking inferno. Everything sparking, like lightning under my skin and scorching my throat in the best fucking way, all because of him.

His lips leave mine. His voice, husky and soft. “You all right?”

I whimper. Still vibrating. No words, can’t talk. Need him to fuck me.

He strokes my broken horn, strokes my cheek. “You’re burning blue, Karlach.”

I sure fucking am. Burning blue, burning alive in ways that I didn’t think I ever would again, and it’s all because of him. It’s all him, it’s Dammon — his sunshine smile, his jewel-pretty eyes the colour of a summer sky: I’m burning blue, all because of him.

I nuzzle his ear. “I’m going to ride you until you see stars, soldier.”

He laugh-moans. “Yes please. I’m all for that.”

He’d better be, because I can’t hold back now. I can’t do slow now. I am on, on-on-on like I’ve never been before, and I’m sitting upright on his lap and I’m stroking his cock while he grips my thighs — gods I want to taste him, I want his come in my mouth, no no I’ll save that for later, I need him inside of me right fucking now—

Fuck yes he’s inside me fuck yes. Dammon is inside of me, and he feels like fucking heaven.

He groans, and it’s the prettiest sound I’ve ever heard. “Gods, Karlach!”

I take it back: hearing my name like that is the prettiest sound I’ve ever heard. I stroke his chest — beautiful chest, beautiful ridges of his ribs — then I brace myself on his abs and start fucking him hard.

He groans, arches his neck in a way that makes me want to bite him (ha, don’t tell Astarion!): oh, my sweet fucking gods, he feels amazing. His cock is driving into me so hard, so sweet and hard that I’m making noise with every stroke, and he’s making noise too and gripping my thighs — ah, his tail, it’s coiling around my forearm in a way that makes my tummy flutter, and his eyelids are fluttering too like he’s really letting loose, which I love to see. I love seeing him like this, I love seeing him looking as good as he makes me feel, and fuck does he ever make me feel good. His thick fucking cock, the hot driving punch of it reaching so deep… Holy fucking hells, I missed this, I missed it so fucking much, and it’s so much better than I remembered. Dammon’s solid body under mine, his strong smithy’s hands on my hips and thighs, his tail squeezing my arm like the way he holds my hand, and those eyes: his beautiful eyes, the way he’s watching me under his half-lidded eyes while I ride him like my life hinges on his cock… Fuck me, did it ever really feel like this? Was it ever really this good?

Wait, wait a second: was sex ever this fucking good before?

I’m staring at Dammon now. Just staring at this kind and gorgeous man who’s filling me up within an inch of my life, and I… I don’t know that it’s ever been like this. I don’t know that it ever has been this good before. Sex is always great, don’t get me wrong, but it’s never… My gods, it’s never been like this. It’s never felt so… so close. So right. Fuck, it’s never felt as right as it does right now with him — how fucking weird is that? We’re in an abandoned inn in a place that’s been cursed to the shadows for a hundred years, and it’s somehow the most right that I’ve ever felt while being naked with another soul.

Wait, though: it gets even weirder. I’m with Dammon, an infernal smith who I might never have even spoken to if it wasn’t for the engine in my chest — the engine that’s slowly burning me alive. If I didn’t have this damned thing in my chest, I wouldn’t be here with him. We wouldn’t be here together doing this.

I’m having the time of my fucking life right now with the most wonderful man I’ve ever met because of something that’s going to kill me.

No, no no no, stop it brain, don’t think about it—

“Hey.” He’s sitting up on one elbow — no, he’s pushing himself upright and reaching for my cheek. “Hey, hey now, are you okay—”

I kiss him. I shove my tongue into his mouth and grip his neck, and I fuck him like there’s no tomorrow. I fuck him like this is it, like this is the only chance we’ll have and I have to show him how much this means, how good this is and how good it is because of him, because it’s him, Dammon: it’s Dammon’s body under mine, and his hand and his tail holding me, it’s all him, and I need him to know that there’s nothing I wanted more in this world than to be with him.

He breaks from my lips with the most incredible groan. “Ah, Karlach—”

I nuzzle his ear. “I want you so bad, Dammon. I want you more than anything.”

He groans again — gods, if only you could bottle a noise and keep it for later. “I’m all yours. I promise.”

My gods, what a promise. What a thing to say, what a thing to hear from someone who’s so fucking good. And now I don’t know what to say, my tongue’s a knot, my throat’s getting thick — gods, just fuck him already, just wring the pleasure out of him like he did for you.

I fuck him. I’m riding him hard. I’m bouncing on his beautiful cock and staring at his beautiful face while it crinkles up with pleasure — come for me, Dammon, I want you to. I really want him to, I want his come more than anything in the world, I want him to let it all go inside of me — oh yes, good boy, he’s getting even harder, he’s getting harder inside of me oh my gods fuck I know he’s going to come—

“A-ah, please, y-yes—!” He kisses me, Dammon is kissing me, his tongue thrusting into my mouth and his hand firm at the back of my neck, he’s shuddering and pulsing deep inside — yes, I can feel him giving me his come, and I want it all. I’m fucking hungry for it, for every last drop of him, every little bit of proof that this was me and him together: Dammon and Karlach, Karlach and Dammon, two hells-touched tieflings finding our little place of light among the shadows.

He breaks our kiss and presses his horns to mine again. “Gods,” he pants. “Gods alive. You are… incredible.” He laughs, this husky I’m-out-of-breath-because-I’ve-been-fucking kind of laugh, and I swear I’d give my unbroken horn to be able to hear that laugh every day for the rest of my life, no matter how long or short it is.

He leans away a little and strokes my hair. “How are you feeling?”

Gods, look at him: he’s perfect. He said I was burning blue, but I swear on my life, his eyes are incandescent. They’re the brightest, most electric blue I’ve ever seen in my life, and it’s like they’re scorching my soul, branding this amazing moment deep into me so that it’ll never be forgotten, no matter what comes next.

Fuck, I feel so full. I’m so… my chest, my throat, my entire fucking soul feels full. Oh no, my eyes feel full too, oh no — don’t do this, Karlach, don’t you dare.

“I—” Oh fuck, I’m sobbing. I’m sobbing? Why now, why?

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Come here, it’s okay.” He’s tucking my head against his neck — oh my gods, I’m falling apart. He’s hugging me, his tail is stroking my back like he’s comforting a child, which is funny ‘cause I’m weeping like a baby. No, not weeping: I’m fucking bawling. That’s fantastic, Karlach, that’s just great, let’s just bawl all over the gorgeous smith while his cock is still in me.

Okay, that’s kind of funny, but… Fuck, I can’t stop crying. It’s all just coming out now, everything, all the stuff that’s been going on: the tadpole, my engine, the shadow curse and how fucking awful it is here, Lae’zel almost dying at the crèche and Mizora being a fucking bitch to Wyll and Astarion making his snarky little jokes like he’s not dead-scared of Cazador. I’m just fucking sobbing, I’m howling for me and them and everything, and more stuff keeps coming out: Gortash, Zariel, Avernus, Mum and Dad — everything, it’s just fucking everything, it’s all the things, so much shit I haven’t cried about for years, and it’s all coming out on poor Dammon because he’s hugging me.

Dammon is hugging me. He’s just hugging me while I cry all over him, hugging me tight like I haven’t been hugged in fucking years, and I don’t know if I can stop.

I do stop, eventually, when it feels like every tear in my body is on his neck instead of in my eyes. When I finally stop crying, he speaks. “Are you all right?”

Gods be damned, his soft voice, his hand petting my back… He’s going to make me cry again. “I’m okay,” I say. “Stuffy, but okay.” I lift my head — eurgh, yep, lots of tears and snot on his neck. Real attractive, Karlach, really sexy stuff.

“Sorry.” I wipe my face real quick and start wiping his neck. “Sorry. That’s gross. I’m so sorry—”

“Don’t be sorry,” he says. “You needed that. There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Oh hells, now he’s wiping my cheeks… Did someone make this man on purpose to turn me into the world’s meltiest puddle? He’s wiping my cheeks and looking at me in that so-soft way with his beautiful soft eyes… Oh boy, I’m a goner. If I wasn’t already all fluttery for him, I’m a total loss now.

He strokes my shoulder. “Do you have to head back to your camp?”

No way. I don’t want to go back. I want to stay here with him and make this night last forever. Don’t say that, though, you’ll sound like a limpet. “I can stay for a while,” I say, all casual-like. “If you want, I mean. I — unless you have to sleep? You probably have to get up early for the forge—”

“No, no,” he says quickly. “I can get up whenever, that doesn’t matter. Either way, if you — if you don’t have to get back, maybe…” He clears his throat — aw, he’s looking shy! Why is he looking shy? “Maybe you’d like to stay the night? With me, I mean?”

He wants me to stay? He wants me to stay! “Yes! I mean—” Oh gods, I’m laughing now. “Yes. I’d love to stay with you.”

He smiles — oh gods, that killer smile. He’s going to destroy me with that smile before the night is through, I swear. “Great! That’s — that’s really great. Okay.” He laughs a little and strokes my arm. “Maybe I can take my trousers off, if that’s okay with you?”

“Your—?” I twist around on his lap to look — ha, oh shit, his trousers are down around his calves, and he’s still wearing his boots!

I laugh and climb off of him. “You didn’t take them off? Bit eager, are we?”

“Me? You didn’t give me a chance! So much for slowing down.” He’s grinning now as he pulls off his boots, and he’s so damned pretty that all I can do is smile back at him. Gods, I really am a goner.

He drops his boots on the floor. He’s totally naked now, naked and warm and perfect, and I don’t want to waste another second not touching all of that perfect naked skin.

I straddle him and wrap my arms around his neck, and he smiles and strokes my hip. “Back for a second round already? I’m game, but I’ll need a little more time.”

I press my horns to his. “Dammon, I…” No, Karlach, don’t say it. Don’t tell him what you’re feeling, it’s way too soon. It is too soon, right? It’s too soon to know if this is just lust or if it’s something more, right? Something so much more, so much bigger that it feels like it’s filling my entire damn body… I can’t know yet for sure that this is what I think it is, can I? Fuck, I’m breathing all shaky. Stop it, K, don’t cry again, just don’t.

He strokes my neck — gods, his magical hands on my skin, I can’t get enough. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “Take your time. Talk when you’re ready.”

I nod, and I kiss him. For the dozenth time tonight, I’m kissing Dammon, melting under his soft lips and tasting his tongue and feeling every inch of my skin coming to life under his hands, and I can’t be fucking bothered with talking. Who cares about words or talking or even thinking when there’s this, when there’s him? Not me, that’s for sure. All that matters is being here with Dammon, skin-to-skin with him like all my hottest dreams, and I don’t give a shit about anything else.

Tonight, I’m burning blue for him. And that’s all that fucking matters.

[simpforfandoms]

head canons for dating billy hargrove

IM GLAD SOMEONE ASKED BOY DO I HAVE A LOT

masterlist

- at the beginning of the relationship he would be so reserved. he would hardly open up and he was so angry all the time not at you though

- 2 months in he finally kinda opened up about his dad

- well he didn’t really, you walked into his house as his dad was ‘yelling’ at him

- he was mad at first but once he realized you didn’t judge him, he felt comfortable about opening up

- you let him come over to your house whenever he needed to

- he just lays in bed with you. you guys end up cuddling having deep conversations

- “Im going to move back to California away from this hellhole”

- “alright California sounds good to me, I always wanted to go to beach and learn how to surf”

- “really? You’d go with me”

- “I mean of course, what kinda of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t”

- “I love you”

- “I love you too”

- that’s how your first ‘I love you’ happened

- billy didn’t mean for it to come out like that. he said it without thinking. Really. It was only 5 months into the relationship he was worried that if he said ‘I love you’ it would ruin the relationship.

- when you said it back without hesitation, you could feel him let out a breathe he had been holding. You didn’t mention it though and just said ‘goodnight’ and fell asleep in his arms

- you and billy first met at a party

- you’ve heard of him and his playboy ways so when he walked over to you, you weren’ surprised by his flirty behavior

- when you rejected his offer to ‘head upstairs’, he visibly frowned

- no girl had ever rejected him

- “sweetheart are you sure? I can really show you a good time”

- “no, I can show you a good time” with that you grabbed his arm and dragged him upstairs

- he was so ready to bang you because he’s never been with a girl that takes charge

- but instead you brought out a Nintendo console, he was shocked

- “it just came out and I’ve been dying to have someone to play it with me”

- billy raised his eyebrows at you

- you just begged him to play with you

- he eventually did

- honestly it was the best time he’s had in a while

- he asked you to go on date after playing for a while

- yes, the Billy Hargrove asked you to go on a date. He didn’t know what came over him but he had such a good time with you.

- “yes, but only if you promise to finish this game with me”

- “I promise”

- and thus the greatest relationship was made

- you always went to his basketball games

- one time you missed it because your dog had died

- billy immediately noticed you missing from the stands

- he told the coach he was leaving and left quickly

- he went to your house only for your mother to answer the door

- “hello is y/n here?”

- “yes she’s upstairs, but her dog died, I think she might just want to be alone”

- screw that

- he ran pass your mom and into your room

- he saw you crying on your bed

- your face was all wet and snot was running down your nose, yet somehow he still thought you looked beautiful

- honestly seeing you cry made his heart break

- he rushed over to you and comforted you

- “you shouldn’t have come you have your championship game”

- oh I forgot to mention it was his championship game

- “y/n I don’t care about that, your all that matters to me. Well you and my car”

- you laughed at him

- he was so happy to see you smile

- you always tried to make him into a better man

- when the whole max thing happened you tried your best to calm him down.

- you told him to stay in the car as you got her

- max liked you, you were like the older sibling she never had. She liked that because of you Billy was getting nicer

- when you brought her to the care with her Billy lashed out on her

- You tried to get him to stop but that just made him mad at you

- “Oh my god Y/N do you ever know when to shut the fuck up”

- you weren’t having it. Max was crying and you were done with it. Billy was going 80 in a 50

- “Billy pull over”

- “No.”

- “I’m going to jump out of this car if you don’t”

- “you wouldn’t”

- with that you unbuckled and opened the car door. Max screamed when you did that and Billy grabbed onto your arm and slammed in the breaks and pulled over

- “What the fuck were you thinking?”

- you simply didn’t respond and mouthed an ‘I’m sorry’ to Max and walked out of the car

- Billy followed you

- “Y/n you can’t just walk away, why the fuck did you do that!”

- arguing with Billy while he was furious was a dangerous thing to do

- “you need to come to your senses”

- with that he just looked at you with the most sad look on his face

- he walked up to you and just hugged you tight. He started to cry

- “I’m sorry. I can’t loose you. I love you. I’m sorry”

- “Billy you don’t need to apologize to me you need to apologize to max”

- with that you and Billy walked back into the car with a crying max

- the rest of the ride to Billy’s house was silence

- when you got his street billy pulled a U turn

- “what the fuck are you doing?!?” Max yelled

- “we’re going to y/n’s for the night”

- “what? Why?”

- “look max I’m sorry for tonight and I know if I go back to that house with my dad he’ll be ducking furious at me. If I just stay the night at y/n’s he’ll have time to cool off”

- “GIRLS NIGHT” you screamed

- and with that started the girls night + billy

- you and max put face masks on billy and braided his hair

- “Max I swear to god if you tell anyone about this”

- “I know I know” she giggles

- “your lucky I like you”

- you whisper to max “that his way of saying he loves you”

- “Y/n quit filling my little sisters head with lies”

- “what it’s true you love her”

- “shut up”

- then you two start chasing each other around the house while max laughs and watches movies

- while that day was the biggest argument of your relationship it was also the day that max and billy rebuilt their relationship

- the next day Max explained everything to Billy’s dad, that why he couldn’t get mad at Billy

- “It was all my fault I didn’t tell billy where I was and I hid from him when he tried to find me

- after you guys graduate you move to California

- he never pressures you into doing things

-like if you didn't want to be sexually active he wouldn't pressure you

-he proposes to you once you've lived in California for a year

-by then I guess you wouldn't be dating

- you love him and he loves you

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 21:

I had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting…

Masterlist - Previous - Next

"You’ll be driving?" Charles voice sounded muffled "From Neuburg to Spielberg?"

"Yeah, it’s not just me, Felix as well. We’ll do a little road trip, maybe we put cameras in the car, conversations between a team principal and his driver." I chuckled a little, searching for my socks in my suitcase.

"I know your road trips. It’s just old music and you singing along. Or Taylor Swift and you singing along." he panted and then I heard a loud bang "Fuck."

"What are you doing? Are you okay?" I asked sitting down on the bed, putting the phone on speaker, laying it next to me, to pull on the socks.

"I’m dressing up. I overslept and now I’m late." Charles said "And I have your socks."

"I noticed, because I have yours… I don’t like them." I mumbled grabbing my sneakers, slipping in.

"I don’t like yours! They’re so thin! And too small." he said and I chuckled.

"Well and yours are too thick! And too big!" I said and he laughed.

"Whatever. So. Spielberg. You’re driving with Felix. Tomorrow, early in the morning?" Charles said.

"Yup. And just so you know, we’ll be listening to good old Classic Rock! Singing along. Dancing." I said and got up, walking over to the mirror to cover up my jaw.

"You definitely need a camera in there!" Charles laughed "Oh, and talking of cameras, Netflix will be with Ferrari this weekend."

"Ooouuuh! Sorry Mr. Drive to Survive." I said.

"Ha-ha. Very funny. It’s a little sad that they weren’t with you last weekend! That would’ve been an amazing episode!" Charles sighed and I packed my make-up away.

"I mean… they filmed me once or twice before. They just never were officially in our garage? Audi is not fancy or prestigious or successful enough I guess. Although Julie told me they want a special episode or something just with me, but I said we’re a team, so that’s not gonna happen!" I plopped down on the bed.

"Hmm. It could be interesting, an episode about you? To give some insights of the life of a female F1 driver? Maybe talk about how hard it was as a girl? Maybe that attention would help girls in motorsport?" Charles retorted.

"Great. Now I feel bad that I turned them down." I sighed and he chuckled.

"I’m sure Julie could talk with them, I mean if you really want to!" he said and I shrugged my shoulders.

"If it’s focussing on girls in motorsports and how tough it was to make it into F1? I’m in. Everything to help promote girls in motorsports!" I should had to talk to Julie.

"That’s the spirit!" I heard a car door slam shut "Wait a second, I won’t hear you when I start the engine and my phone connects to the car… can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear!" I got up and grabbed my bag, leaving the hotel room "You’re having a meeting with Mattia first, you said?"

"Yeah, Mattia and Laurent as far as I know… I kinda know what it’s about…" he said hesitantly.

"It’s about us, right? About what Laurent saw?" I almost whispered.

"I guess so, he didn’t say anything the whole weekend, so I guess he told Mattia and now we’re having the talk." Charles sighed a little and I felt bad.

"I’m sorry… if we wouldn’t keep this a secret you wouldn’t have to have this meeting now.” I said as I left the hotel.

"Stop it. I’ve seen what they write about you… us! Us as friends… I get it, okay?" he said immediately and I got in the car "But I’m here now…"

"Okay, then- umm… good luck? I don’t know what to say, to be honest!" I leaned my head back, closing my eyes.

"You don’t have to say anything, cara mia. I’ll call you later, okay? I love you! Bye for now!" and with that he hung up.

"I love you too." I whispered and started the engine, driving off the parking lot to the Audi facilities.

When I arrived at the gates I was surprised to see a little group of fans waiting for me and my heart warmed. One of the securities was trying to wave me through but I stopped the car and got out.

"Hi guys! What are you doing here?!" I asked them and they began to cheer.

"We’re here for you! You won! Congratulations!" a young girl screamed and the rest of the little crowd cheered even louder.

"We were hoping that you come here today!" a guy said and I smiled at them.

"You guys are awesome!" I honestly didn’t expect this.

"Can we take a picture with you?" another girl asked an I nodded.

"Of course! I would love to!" I stood next to her and posed for a selfie with her.

I took a lot more selfies, signed shirts, caps, poster and flags. I talked with every single person and didn’t wanted to make anyone feel left out. All while holding back tears. Of course I saw some fans at the races here and there, even knew about some fan accounts on Instagram, but I never expected fans waiting outside our factory for me. Almost like the Tifosi wait for Charles in Maranello. And I received a whole bunch of new bracelets, a scrapbook and even a doll, that looked like me. I was overwhelmed with their outpour of love and support.

"Okay you guys, huddle together I want a picture with all of you guys!" I said and the little crowd all squeezed together, I handed the security guard my phone and he took a picture "Thank you all so much! This means the world to me! I love guys! Have a safe trip back home, okay?!" I said and got back in my car.

"Kick some asses in Austria! Have a good race weekend!" they all screamed and I smiled at them.

"I will do my best! See you guys!" I waved one last time and drove through the gate, parking right next to where Felix was waiting for me.

"Lizzie! You’re late!" he opened my door for me and I smiled sheepishly at him.

"I’m sorry! I kinda lost all sense of time there…" I grabbed my phone and got out of the car.

"So you saw your little mob of fans waiting for you?" he said and closed the door of my car. I smiled and nodded.

"Yeah! How cute was that? God I love them! How long have they been waiting?"

"I have no idea. A while? But now come on in, we’re really late and have a lot to discuss!"

"Okay?" I said hesitantly, following him through the faculty, he unlocked a large door with his keycard and as soon as it opened a whole bunch of people applauded, Marcus being one of them.

"What is going on here?" I asked surprised.

"Well we wanted to give our race winner a very warm welcome!" Julius Seebach, CEO of Audi Motorsports smiled at me, shaking my hand "We’re all very proud of you, Lizzie! You and Valtteri have been representing us so very well! Right now we’re in P4 in the constructors! Only 8 points behind Mercedes! As a new team! Great job!"

"It wasn’t just me, or Valtteri, it’s this whole team! Every single one here! This is our win!"

"I don’t like sprint races…" I mumbled and Charles laughed.

"I’m not the biggest fan either, but it’s like this."

"Quali on a Friday feels weird." we walked towards the pits as someone shouted my name.

"Lizzie! Oi! Wait for me!" I turned around and Paul came running up to us "Hi! I thought we could walk back together?"

"Umm? Sure?" I said a little confused and Paul smiled at me, looking at Charles.

"I think we haven‘t met yet? I’m Paul. And you are…" he extended his hand towards Charles who shook it once "I’m just kidding! Of course I know who you are, Carlos!"

Charles clenched his jaw and opened his mouth to answer "I’m just messing with you, Charles." Paul laughed and slapped Charles on the shoulder.

"Very funny." Charles pressed out then turned to me "See you after quali? Good luck out there!" he pinched my side gently and I smiled at him.

"She won’t need luck! You Ferrari boys need it!" Paul laughed even louder and Charles looked at him and I thought he was contemplating what he should answer, but he just nodded and walked away.

"What was that?" I looked at Paul who just shrugged his shoulders.

"I’m just messing around. I didn’t know that he was so… so uptight?" Paul laughed and started walking.

"He’s not uptight."

"Okay. Noted. Carlos is the funny one out of the Ferrari guys!"

"What?"

"I had a laugh earlier with Carlos… Charles maybe is just not getting my type of humour…" he held up his hands.

"Well, yeah I didn’t get it either then." I said and walked away.

"Lizzie! Wait!" he grabbed my arm "I’m sorry, okay? I was really just joking! I’ll go and apologise to him?"

"No, it’s okay. But keep this kind of humour to yourself maybe from now on?" I said firmly.

"Promise!" he said and I nodded, walking to JK.

"Can we warm up a little?" I said and walked past him.

"Sure?" JK followed me back outside "What’s going on?"

"Nothing." I grumbled and JK adjusted the rubber bands around my head "All is good."

"Alright. I won’t say anything. But you know…"

"I can talk to you if needed. I know. Thanks."

Qualifying went good, really good, setting the second fastest time in Q1 and the third fastest in Q2. But then came Q3. Or rather the, according to Paul, funny one out of the Ferrari boys.

"Did he just overtake me in the fucking pit lane?"

"Yeah. He did."

"What the fuck? Did he never hear of the Gentleman’s agreement?"

"Apparently not. No."

I drove out on the track, starting my out lap, warming my tyres when Carlos began to drive slower in front. Then accelerated again just to brake again.

"What is he doing? I can’t warm my tyres like that?"

"Just keep going."

"Is someone coming from behind?"

"Hamilton, Max, Perez. Fast laps."

"How far away?"

"Don’t overtake him."

"But…"

"Lizzie. Hamilton behind. Closely followed by Max and then Perez. You can’t overtake before they all passed you."

"Yeah but then I’ll be almost in the last corner. Do I have time for a second out lap?"

"Negative."

"FUCK. Verdammte Scheisse! Sorry!"

"It’s okay."

It wasn’t okay. Far away from okay. Because of Carlos I couldn’t get enough temperature in my tyres and now I had to try and set up the fastest lap with only half warmed tyres. I watched as Carlos in front accelerated again and did the same. Pushing as much as possible as soon as I crossed the line and started my last attempt on a good grid position.

"And that’s P5."

"Ok."

"P1 Max. P2 Charles."

"P3 and 4?"

"Perez and Sainz."

"Awesome." I laughed. What else could I do. At least I wouldn’t have to start on the same side of the track. I could try to overtake him right at the start, before he could try to pull some shit again. I drove back into the pits. Climbed out of my car, congratulated Max, Charles and Checo, then did my weighing. I saw Carlos behind, joking with Lando and gritted my teeth.

"Walk off." Jo Bauer said in German and I looked up "Just walk it off." I nodded and he smiled a little, before the almost stoic look on his face returned. I did what he said and walked back into my garage, where my team waited for me.

"We will talk to the stewards. I’ve never seen a driver impeding another driver during their out lap. But still." Felix said but I shook my head.

"Don’t. I’m not whining and bitching about everything, like he does. It’s okay. I’ll do the talking on track."

"Are you sure?"

"100%."

"Hey Lizzie. You’re starting from P5 in tomorrow’s sprint race. Not the result you hoped for, after a strong Q1 and Q2?" ESPN Spain.

"Yeah. I mean, I had a certain red car in front of me, making my life not the easiest. But it’s okay. P5 is not too bad."

"There was a little squabble between you and Carlos, what happened?"

"What happened was that there is an agreement and someone decided to not give a fuck. And then someone decided to deliberately slow me down during my out lap, so yeah warming the tyres didn’t work out as planned."

"Carlos said it’s a gentleman’s agreement, so it applies only to gentleman’s."

"What?" I was 100% that I misheard it. I had more downs than ups with Carlos. But this? This was a low blow. I swallowed. "I mean, I thought it was an agreement between all drivers. Regardless of their gender."

"What is in for you tomorrow?"

"I don’t know. But as long as I’m in front of car number 55, I’m considering it a win." I shouldn’t have said that. I should not have said that. But fuck it I was furious.

"Are you out of your mind?" Julie groaned as soon as we left the media pen "Goddamnit Lizzie! You’re giving me a big fat headache and it’s only Friday! For fucks sake!"

"I want to see his interview after our meeting." was the only thing I said and walked off.

I kinda felt like it was a set up. Like the interviewer wanted to rile me up. Carlos wouldn’t say something like that in front of the cameras, right? Except that he indeed said it. I replayed the interview over and over.

"You didn't follow the gentleman's agreement there with Lizzie?"

"Yeah because it's an agreement between gentleman's…" emphasis on the man. And he laughed. Laughed.

"You’re kidding me, right? You did not say that! In front of a camera! You’re not that stupid!" Dad walked into my driver room, looking livid "Lizzie Doetterer! You know that if you just breathe into his direction tomorrow he will whine about it and use this interview against you!"

"Uh-huh… I know. It was a trap. And I was too blind to see it. ESPN Spain. How stupid can someone be?" I groaned and leaned back "I just know that there is a shit storm brewing up on social media."

"Then don’t read it! You have to be careful in the race tomorrow! He’s starting in front of you! Don’t let him make you do anything stupid! Stay calm! Leave him enough space! You know that he’s the first to complain!" Dad sighed and sat down next to me.

"Do you think we can leave? Or does Felix want to have a word with me alone? He was pretty calm and collected during the strategy meeting…" I looked at him and he chuckled.

"No, he said it’s fine. Well not fine. But it’s okay. We can leave." Dad got up and I grabbed my bag "

I turned on the shower and got in, sat down on the floor, hugging my knees up to my chest and laid my head down. The warm water cascading over me. I was tired. Exhausted. But more from the games the media still tried to play with me, than with anything else. The Spanish press has set their target on me. The questions on Thursday. Then today. And I played right into it.

"Good fucking job." I groaned.

"Lizzie?" Charles walked in and looked around, before he spotted me on the floor of the shower "Shit! Are you okay? Did you slip?" he opened the shower door and stepped in.

"I’m okay! I’m just sitting here! I didn’t slip, or trip or fall! I just sat down!" I assured him and Charles nodded.

"Okay! Good." he got up, his clothes soaked.

"Take them off and come in." I smiled up at him and he didn’t need to be asked twice. In an instant he closed the shower door and sat down next to me, lifting me into his lap.

"Hi." he kissed my shoulder, pushing some wet strands of hair out of my face "Why are we sitting in the shower?"

"I was too lazy to stand? I just wanted to sit under the water and relax a little? I know, I know. What a waste of water…" I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck. He chuckled a little and I felt the vibration in his chest.

"We’re saving some water by me taking this shower with you instead of us doing it separately!" Charles stretched his arm out and grabbed my shampoo and conditioner in one go. Before he reached out for my shower gel "Here, let me…" he carefully carded his hands through my hair, entangling them, then squirted some shampoo in his hand and began to gently massage it into my scalp. He worked the shampoo down my lengths and then kissed my forehead before he tried to rinse out the suds "Can you grab the shower head? The stream from the rain shower isn’t strong enough. Perfect. Head back. There you go." He continued his ministrations until all the shampoo was gone, then he worked some conditioner in my hair and bundled them together at the nape of my neck, reading the back of the conditioner bottle "90 seconds… okay. I didn’t see you after quali?"

"Yeah I tried to leave quietly…" I mumbled.

"Hmm. It was a dick move from him. From overtaking in the pit lane, to slowing you down and then saying that shit in his interview…"

"I still shouldn’t have said that! It was a trap! He wanted to get a reaction out of me! And stupid me did just that!"

"You’re not stupid! It was in the heat of the moment and that reporter took full advantage of that!"

"Yeah and I played right into his cards…" I sighed and Charles grabbed my chin, tilting my head up, to look at him.

"Guess what? You’re human? You have emotions and sometimes they’re getting the better of you… don’t worry about it! Please?" he smiled at me, pouting a little and I nodded "Merci, mon amour." he kissed my cheek and grabbed the shower head again, washing the conditioner out.

"You’re next!" I said and grabbed my shampoo, massaging it into Charles’ hair and scalp.

"Mhhh I’ll smell like you." he whispered and his warm breath fanned over my ear, making me shudder. He chuckled a little but let me finish washing his hair, then I used only a couple of drops of conditioner and worked it in his hair "My hair will be just as fluffy and shiny as yours! People will start to wonder why my hair looks this amazing tomorrow!"

"They will ask you what products you’re using." I joked and he laughed.

"My girlfriends… and then they all go crazy, because I’m using women stuff!"

"I think they would go crazy because you dropped the bomb that you’re not single anymore."

"Possible… but nope I think it’s the hair products."

"Idiot."

"Hey!" Charles pinched my side and began to tickle me, holding me tight with his other arm to his body, no matter how hard I tried to wriggle out of his lap "Okay stop…" he let out a breathy groan and I grinned, feeling exactly what was bothering him "Stop looking at me like that!"

"Like what?" I pouted a little and he groaned again, grabbing my waist, holding me down to stop me from moving. I felt his hard length press into my thigh and grinned "Seems like you’re having a little problem."

"Little?" he scoffed.

"Big? Huge? Gigantic?"

"Better."

"If it helps you sleep better at night…" I teased but regretted it instantly, his hand dipped in between my legs, my breathing hitched.

"Seems like I’m not the only one who has a little problem, no?" his eyes darkened as I quickly shook my head, trying to gather myself when his next move elicited a soft moan from deep within me. I pulled his face closer, breathing ragged. "Say it." My eyes widened with every flick of his fingers. "Just admit it…"

"You’re not the- the only one…" I breathed out.

"That’s what I thought…"

"Charles…"

"Hmm?"

"Please…"

"I got you, pretty girl."

"Not at all creepy." Charles groaned as he opened his eyes and I chuckled.

"What? In romance books and movies it’s always cute, watching your boyfriend sleep."

"Yeah no. It’s not. So stop."

"So you never watched me sleep?"

"I did."

"And?"

"You’re adorable. Always having a cute smile on your lips, then that smile turns into a thrown and you scrunch up your nose and eyebrows, just to smile again… and your cute, little snores. Adorable!"

"I’m NOT snoring!" I tried to slap his arm but he caught my hand mid flight and pulled me onto him in one swift move.

"Yes you do, just every now and then. And so adorable! It’s the cutest!"

"So, you watch me sleep and it’s adorable? I watch you sleep and it’s creepy?"

"Uh-huh! You got it!" he kissed my cheek, working his way down my jaw before he stopped, eyes widened "Fuck! Lizzie!" he sat us both up, switching the light on "Fuck! Why didn’t you say something?"

"What are you talking about?" I was confused.

"Your jaw! Fuck! I was too rough, I’m so, so sorry!" he looked ashamed and it dawned on me "I grabbed your jaw way too tight! It’s bruising already! Why didn’t you say that I hurt you?"

"Because you didn’t! Okay? Look at me, Charles. That wasn’t you! It’s all good! Look closely! It’s already healing, they’re not fresh! Look here, my wrist as well…" I showed him my wrist and his eyes widened.

"Who did this to you?" his voice dripped with anger and worry.

"Two little monsters… when we were having a tickle fight… sometimes they underestimate their strength a little and the fact that I bruise pretty fast didn’t help! You know how my thighs and arms used to be sprinkled with little bruises from Liam? Him grabbing my arms, or trying to stand in my lap? When he was a little munchkin?" I laughed and Charles took a deep breath.

"Did it hurt?" he tilted my head up a little to look at my jaw "How did that even happen? Were they holding you in a chokehold?"

"No, it didn’t hurt and it was more me grabbing Liam trying to do a wrestling move and him just grabbing onto something to not fall… nothing bad at all, no pain, no nothing!" I reassured him as best as I could.

"Why didn’t I see the bruises before?"

"Make-up? And my wrist? I don’t know?" I shrugged my shoulders and got up.

"Okay… but I think I have to have a word with these little rascals…" he laid back, checking his phone.

"Please don’t, they will feel bad and I really don’t want that! Nothing happened, it didn’t hurt, so we just should keep it like that…"

"You’re right… but Lizzie? If I ever hurt you or be too rough? You’ll say it, right?" he looked at me intently.

"Of course… but I like it… you know…" I smiled suggestively at him and disappeared into the bathroom.

As soon as the door was closed I took a deep breath. Blaming Liam and Benji was so wrong and I felt bad. But it was the only lie I could come up with fast enough and Charles seemed to believe it. At least now I didn’t have to cover it up first things first in the morning. I sighed and began my morning routine, getting ready for the day, when Charles walked in.

"Look at my hair, from now on I’m only using your stuff, cara mia." Charles carded through his fluffy locks and I smiled.

"You look just like a dream, pretty boy. My stuff is your stuff. And now hurry up, we have an eventful day ahead of us!" one last kiss on his cheek and I walked out.

After the free practice I grabbed myself an apple and a bottle of water and met up with Charles to watch Arthur’s sprint race.

"He’s starting from P9?" I asked Charles as we watched the cars line up again after the formation lap.

"Yes. I really hope he has a good race!" Charles said and I nodded along.

"I have a good feeling!"

"Then I trust your feelings!"

We watched with anticipation the race start and how Arthur overtook 2 cars right at the start.

"Good job!" I cheered and Charles next to me clapped excitedly, as we saw the yellow flag being waved, both checking the huge screen in front of us "What happened?"

"There at turn 3, a car stopped… oh safety car." Charles pointed at the screen.

"Oh, as long as it’s not Arthur…" I mumbled and I could see Charles smiling a little.

As soon as the safety car was ending and the race started again we watched how Arthur fought his way to the front lap after lap.

"He’s in P5 now! He can do it! He can make it on the podium!" I jumped up and down.

"Yeah if he stays focused like this!" Charles leaned forward as Arthur breezed past us. He fought hard with his teammate, Bearman, and another driver, Maloney, and the three of them went wide, at the corner exit of turn 3 Bearman and Maloney touched which resulted in the latter to retire and brought out another safety car.

"This race is stressing me out more than our races!" I looked at the screen again, that showed a replay of the incident, Charles pulled me to his side nudging my shoulder a little.

"Don’t stress too much, you have a race of your own later." he chucked as we watched how the safety car came back to the pits.

With 7 more laps to go and Arthur now in P4, his fight with Colapinto for P3 was on. IT was a back and forth but in the final lap Arthur had passed him and due to a lock up from Colapinto managed to gain a little space between them, making him taking the checkered flag in P3. Charles and I jumped excitedly up and down, hugging each other.

"He did it!" we both screamed and we happily made our way to the barriers where Arthur would park his car any moment. Rene Rosin and some of the PREMA crew stood there, waiting for Arthur.

"Lizzie! Charles! Good to see you two!" he hugged as both happily "He did an amazing job! Fantastic! You can be proud of him!"

"He was amazing! What a race!" I said and watched how Arthur parked his car, jumping out, pumping his fists back and forth. As soon as he spotted us at the barriers he ran up to us and Charles hugged him close.

"Amazing race, Arthur!" he said and patted his back before he released him and I hugged him tight.

"Fantastic job, Arthi! We’re so proud of you!"

"Thanks guys!" Arthur said, his voice muffled through his helmet. I let go of him and he hugged his team.

We watched how Arthur got his trophy and cheered the loudest as a reporter from Sky walked up to us.

"Charles, Lizzie. A word to the race and your brother’s result?" he asked.

"It was an exciting race, for sure and we’re proud of Arthur, finishing in P3." Charles smiled wide.

"He did an amazing job, a good race from him. It always feels special watching the F3 and F2 races, knowing that’s where we were a couple of years ago ourselves." I smiled.

"It gives these young drivers maybe even a little hope, seeing F1 drivers watching their race?"

"I mean, if we made it, they can make it as well!" I said and Charles nodded.

"Thank you guys! And good luck in your own sprint race later on!"

We smiled and left, making our way back to the paddock.

Charles POV:

"Charles? Hey?" Andrea pinched my arm and I flinched "Ready to warm up?"

"Yeah…" I watched how JK and Lizzie warmed up for the sprint race, Paul sitting on a table watching them. The way he eyed Lizzie’s every movement. Undressing her practically with his eyes. I hated him.

"Well then?" Andrea sighed and sat down "What is going on with you?"

"What?" I asked, eyes still trained on Paul, who now stood next to Lizzie, his hand on her arm, laughing. Why was he always touching her? Andrea followed my look and chuckled a little.

"You know that she loves you more than anything? You don’t need to be worried!"

"It’s not her I’m worried about… it’s him! I hate him." I groaned and Andrea got up and patted my back.

"Trust her. That’s all you can do. And now come on!"

"Yeah, yeah. You’re right." I sighed, one last look at Lizzie and Paul. Lizzie looked up as if she felt my eyes on her and she smiled at me, that smile that was only meant for me, her eyes sparkling, cheeks slightly pink. God I loved that smile. Loved her.

"Charles? A word?" Mattia waved me over and I put down my helmet.

"Yes?"

"About the race… no more about Lizzie."

"What’s with her?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"You heard what she said yesterday?"

"You heard what Carlos said? Saw what he did?"

"That’s not the point." he rolled his eyes.

"It kinda is." I retorted.

"Charles, she’s mad and we both now her good enough that she can be reckless. So if Carlos manages to overtake Perez and Lizzie manages that as well and is behind Carlos again, we want you to switch positions. To protect Carlos."

"You’re kidding? Right? Lizzie might be reckless, but she’s not stupid? She wouldn’t do something that could potentially end her race as well! And why do I have to give up my position? I’m fighting with Max! I can’t focus on what’s going on behind me!"

"You focus on Max, of course! But if we see that you can’t catch him, then we must protect Carlos, you will switch back positions in the last lap."

"And does he know that, too?" I walked away, grabbing my helmet.

Unbelievable. They really thought that Lizzie would be this stupid? And not just that. They wanted me to give up my position to protect Carlos? As if Lizzie was out for his head?

"Charles? Ready?" Alessandro said and I nodded.

But was I really?

"Stay away from Sainz! You hear me? Stay away. Try to overtake him at the start, right away. Don’t get into any stupid fights!" Dad said and I rolled my eyes "Lizzie!"

"Little one you know he’s right! It’s Sainz! You will just be wheel to wheel and he will whine! They have a solid reason to believe that you’re out for his head!" Felix tried to reason with me.

"I got it, okay? I stay as far away from him as possible!" I groaned and grabbed my helmet, nodding to Matt "Don’t worry! I’m not that stupid!"

Until I was.

After I overtook Carlos at the start, he attacked, aggressively. More than once pushing me off the track. But I didn’t retaliate and now he was in front again. After clipping my front wing.

"Lizzie 9 more laps to go."

"How’s the car?"

"It’s okay."

"He pushed me off! I was in front! Way ahead! And he pushed me!"

"We saw that."

"Is it under investigation ?"

"Not as of now."

"He did that move at least 3 times! And I always backed down!"

"We know."

"Fucking hell."

I was furious. I was keeping my calm. Not fighting back because I knew they would bitch about it in no time. But they’re not even having a look into the last laps incident? He didn’t brake at all, clipped my front wing, still not backing down? I accelerated. If he can drive dirty. I could too. Although I had to do it cleverer. I was at his tail. DRS enabled. I got one last gulp of slipstream and pretended to overtake him from the outside. Just like anticipated he wavered onto the outside as well to block my attack and I braked hard to switch sides, going down the inside. The good old switcheroo. As I was almost ahead he steered into me, forcing me into braking. But not this time. I backed down time and time again. This time I wouldn’t. I pushed the throttle fully through and we went wheel to wheel, I pushed hard and felt the contact, felt how I hit the kerbs hard, felt the car tumbling but was able to keep it on track, forcing him to brake to prevent more damage. I was ahead, speeding away. Fuck yes.

"Gap to Sainz?" I radioed but no answer.

"Gap to Sainz?" I repeated.

"1.8"

"Good." Out of DRS range, 6 more laps to go. I will finish ahead and that would be a P4 I could live with.

"Lizzie. You’ve got a 5 seconds penalty for causing a collision."

"Of fucking course."

Actions have consequences. And here they were. Served in the form of a penalty. After being pushed off the track, getting my front wing clipped. Without whining and bitching. Without my team asking the racing director why his attacks weren’t under investigation.

"Gap?"

"2.1, his front wing is damaged."

"How many laps?"

"5"

"Gap now after every lap."

5 more laps for 3 seconds. I did more back in F2. Full focus now. Hitting the apex of every corner perfectly. Late braking. Using the kerbs. It was possible.

"3.5"

4 more laps for 1.5 seconds. Easy. Done.

"3.9. Perez ahead 1.2"

3 more laps for 1.1 seconds. I could maybe even get into the DRS range of Checo.

"4.2. Perez 1."

2 more laps for 0.8 seconds. And I was almost in Checo’s DRS range.

"4.5. DRS Perez."

Bingo. Last lap. I used Checo’s slipstream, pushed as hard as I could. Made it in front of him, taking the checkered flag.

"Gap to Sainz, 5.1 seconds. You did it Lizzie. That’s P4. Wonderful job!"

"FUCK YEAH!"

"5 seconds penalty but still managed to stay ahead of Carlos, good job!" Timo Glock said as I went to have a little talk with Sky Germany after the sprint race.

"Yeah well, I tried my hardest to gain that position." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Why didn’t your team complain earlier to the stewards? He pushed you off 3 times?" Peter Hardenacke asked.

"I don’t need them to sort out my race. And apparently they didn’t want to do it anyways. So why cry about it?"

"Ferrari asked immediately after the fourth contact…"

"Yeah if they need to do that? If their driver can’t pass me without help? Let them. I was backing down 3 freaking times, got pushed off the track, had also a damaged front wing. But I was beating him fair and square. And like you said I managed to make up one position although I had a penalty. Good day in my books."

"Good day indeed! Good luck for tomorrow!" Timo said and I smiled.

"Thanks guys! See you!" I handed them my microphone and walked back into our hospitality.

"I’m proud of you!" Dad sat in the lounge scrolling through his iPad "You didn’t say anything too controversial. Oh what is that look… Lizzie?"

"I might’ve been a little petty when talking to Sky Germany. Nothing too bad. I promise."

"You’re giving me a heart attack one day!"

"Oh come on papa bear! You can handle it!" I laughed as Pete walked in "Quick debrief?"

"No. You’re summoned by the stewards." he said and I stopped laughing immediately.

"What for? They already gave me a penalty during the race?"

"I don’t know. Felix is already waiting."

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." Charles gentle voice coaxed me out of my slumber and I turned around, cuddling into him "I didn’t hear you coming back last night?"

"The meeting took forever and then I…" I stopped and sighed.

"And then you what?" he began to draw figure eights on my waist but I shook my head.

"I sat at the track for a while."

"Alone? At night?"

"Yeah. I wanted to get a clear head."

"Carlos? The FIA?"

"Everything. The last weeks were… a lot. That article. Hans death. Silverstone. Now this."

"We’re almost done with the first half of the season, mon amour. Then we’ll have summer break. Time to relax. Recharge the batteries. Time for us."

"I haven’t even thought about the summer break to be honest."

"But I have. The first week it’s all of the family together. The second week it’s us and our friends and the last week? Time for us. It’s all already planned, you don’t have to worry at all."

"You already planned it all?"

"I hope that’s okay?" he sounded unsure and I tilted my head up, looking at him.

"It’s perfect. You’re perfect." he kissed my head and checked the time.

"As much as I would love to stay here forever like this, we have a race to attend. So come on now, pretty girl. Shower, breakfast and let’s go."

"Lizzie?" Dad peaked inside and I looked up.

"Yeah?" I bent down again, lacing up my sneakers.

"Did Felix already tell you that there are some VIP guests here?" he asked and I sighed a little, getting up and checking myself in the mirror.

"Yup, he did. That’s why I applied make-up as you can see and why I took care that my braids look good… don’t worry, I’ll woo them." I rolled my eyes, grabbing my team hoodie and pulling it over my head, careful not to mess up my hair.

"What?" Dad looked confused.

"I mean, VIP guests? I thought I should look my best, represent Audi the best as possible?" I said and grabbed my phone and sunglasses "So I’m wearing the Audi sneakers, team hoodie, the Audi sunglasses, would there be an Audi jeans, I would wear it."

"Okay… I mean, you don’t look different then on any other race day but… anyways, let’s go." he chuckled a little and I followed him, good to know that all my efforts where for nothing apparently.

As we walked into the garage I saw JK and Sissy talking to a man and a woman, whose backs were facing me, I looked around, but couldn’t see Liam anywhere.

"Pops? Where is Liam?" I asked and he looked around.

"Ahhh! There she is! Lizzie, come over here!" Sissy said and I walked over to her as the two people she was talking to turned around and I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Hi Lizzie! It’s so good to see you again!" Susi Maier smiled at me and her husband, Marco, did the same. I was at a loss of words when someone hugged my waist and I looked down.

"Lizziiiiiieeee!" Luka had the biggest smile on his face and I felt tears stinging in my eyes, I bent down and picked him up. Held him tight to my chest. The images of him shellshocked on the street, the fear in his eyes when I tried to shield him off, his faint whimper when we came to a halt on the grass, the tears streaming down his face when he lifted his head up. It all came back.

"Luka? Wh- what are you doing here?" I asked and watched how his parents, Sissy and JK smiled at us.

"Your Dad called and asked if we want to come here, finally see you race in F1… of course we had to say yes!" Marco said and I nodded slowly.

"This is… the best surprise ever! Thank you guys so much for coming!" I sat Luka down, wiping the tears from my face. My heart was racing and I felt hot. Too hot.

"I thought you could show them around a little? Show them your car? I’m sure Luka would love to have a seat in it, right?" Dad said from behind me.

"Can I really sit in your car?" Luka asked with big eyes and I nodded, still trying to calm myself down a little.

"It’s so cool sitting in there!" Liam said as he walked in with Charles, sporting his all consuming smile, shaking hands with Susi and Marco, introducing himself.

"I’m so happy to meet you!" he said and Susi blushed a little, something her husband acknowledged, and gently put an arm around her waist.

"Is it allowed that a driver of another team enters the garage?" Marco asked, sounding really curious.

"Well, Charles is the only exception!" Felix answered as he walked up to us, patting Charles back. He looked at me intently and I knew that he could sense how overwhelmed I was, although I was trying to hide it. He walked over to me, gently cupping my cheeks and wiping away the last of my tears.

"Are you okay?" he whispered and I nodded slowly "If you need a moment?"

"I’m okay. It’s just… a lot. But a positive lot!" I smiled and he nodded, kissing my forehead "Careful, where not alone."

"I don’t care, not right now." he smiled a little and then stepped aside "If you need me, call, text, scream, whatever. I’ll be here! Okay?"

"Okay… thanks, really!" he only nodded again and walked away, not before ruffling Liams hair when passing him.

"So! Who wants to sit in my car?" I asked and Luka jumped up excitedly.

"Me! Me! Me!" he screeched and Liam tapped his shoulder and they ran off to my car.

I waved to the crowd when the flatbed was making his way around the track, watching how between all the orange here and there a Germany flag was waved. I watched how Charles got interviewed and had to smile at how he was so enthralled in talking about the upcoming race. His passion and love for racing was one of the many things I admired at him. The way his eyes lit up when asked about how he’ll manage to overtake Max and win the race. The way that fire in him brought out his raw competitiveness. I was so engrossed, listening to him that Seb had to wave his hand in front of my face. I blinked confused and looked at him.

"Earth to Lizzie… are you there?" he laughed and I shook my head.

"I’m sorry! I was lost in my thoughts…" I said and he cocked his eyebrows, turning slightly to look at Charles.

"Lost in the pretty boy, you mean…"

"Yeah… I mean look at him? You can’t blame me…" I chuckled and he nodded.

"So, the kid running around with Liam? He’s the one…" Seb began and I nodded "Is it the first time you saw him after?"

"Kinda… they came by when I was in the hospital. But then they moved to Australia, where Marco had a new job. We texted every now and then… then they moved back home and with me racing now in F1, there was just not enough time I guess?" I explained and he scratched his beard.

"Nice that they’re here, supporting you. The kid and Liam seem to get along pretty well?"

"Yeah, which is weird? Liam is… well he’s a bit difficult when it comes to other kids? But him and Luka?" I smiled. It was true. Finding new friends was never easy for Liam. Being way too hyperactive, but also very sensitive, other kids mostly ended up being deemed no friends. Seeing him getting along with Luka that well, really made me happy.

"Pretty girl? What are you thinking of?" Charles whispered into my ear and I flinched a little "Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!"

"It’s okay, I was thinking about Liam and Luka because Seb… where is Seb?" I looked around, Seb now getting interviewed, looking at me and laughing a little.

"You’re a little out of it today? I mean after…" he began and I just nodded "It’s okay. You can’t always have everything under control."

"When do I ever have anything under control?" I sighed and he chuckled.

"Lizzie, another podium today for you, it’s your fifth podium in your eleventh race, you had a pretty good first half of a season for a rookie. How does that feel?"

"Fifth? Umm- okay. How does it feel? Unreal? Unbelievable? I honestly have no words for how amazing this season is going… the team works so hard for Valtteri and me, hours and hours of hard work in the factory. Everyone here at the track from the logistics guys, to the mechanics, engineers, media guys, strategists, god the amazing caterers! Everyone works so incredibly hard! I’m just more than proud to be a part of this team! I will be forever thankful for the opportunity, the trust, Felix and the whole Audi team gave me… so yeah, that’s how it feels. Fucking amazing!" I said and Charles smiled at me, eyes bright, after his fifth win today.

"Matthias Bircher, from Auto, Motor, Sport. Question for Lizzie, you’ve been penalised and fined by the FIA yesterday, once for the collusion with Carlos during the sprint race and then for your interview after quali on Friday. Do you think these punishments were justified? You didn’t seem to care much about it?"

"I honestly think it’s ridiculous. I’m getting fined for being mad about the very sexist comment of another driver, doesn’t matter if he said it as a joke, in that moment it wasn’t one, while he’s not being fined? Then I get a penalty for having the upper hand while overtaking? Whereas he pushed me off track 3 times before, clipping my front wing? Without a penalty? And then reporting back to the stewards that I deliberately crashed into their driver, because I said it beforehand that I would target him? When did I say that? So no, I don’t think any of that was justified, but you were right. I didn’t care much for it."

"Laura Killigan, motosport.se . Question for Charles and Max. What do you think about the penalties? Do you think they were deserved?"

"No. They weren’t deserved. I understand why Lizzie said what she said? Not just that it was a low blow, even if it only was meant as a joke, it was also something that happened at quali. He overtook her in the pit lane and then kinda impeded her on her final out lap. I totally understand that Lizzie was furious! So if you want to fine her, then Carlos should be fined as well. As for the sprint race, I saw the replay and must say I wouldn’t give a penalty for any of the incidents? But if Lizzie get’s one, Carlos again should’ve been penalised as well. They were both fighting hard." Max said and looked at me.

"I think Max said everything there is to be said. Punish both or no one. The way it was handled was unfair." Charles put his microphone down and tilted his head in my direction.

"No more questions? Alright, that’s it. See you all in two weeks at Paul Ricard. Thank you!" Tom Clarkson ended the press conference and I jumped up.

"Will you guys make use of your right to appeal the decisions?" Max asked when we walked back and I shook my head.

"Nope. We’re not doing that. I don’t want this farce going on longer then needed. It’s 10.000,- Euro and 2 penalty points. We accept it and it’s done."

"But it’s unfair. Ca- umm Lizzie! You really should appeal!" Charles said, clearing his throat at his almost slip up.

"I understand you, it’s annoying and takes up time you could use otherwise." Max shrugged his shoulders and I nodded.

"Exactly!" I groaned and Max hugged me as we stopped in front of Red Bull.

"Chin up and don’t care. You let your results speak for yourself." he gave Charles a little pat on the shoulder and was gone.

"I’m sorry that Ferrari were behaving like… well yeah like that." Charles mumbled a little and I bumped my shoulder into his.

"It’s not your fault. I finished ahead of Carlos in both races. That’s a win in my book. Now cheer up a little. We’re having a little celebration tonight." I smiled at him and he nodded, hugging me tight.

"I really can’t wait for tonight… especially if you wear that little, black dress I’ve seen in your suitcase… you’ll look gorgeous!" he whispered in my ear and I blushed a little "See you later, cara mia."

The whole drive from Neuburg back home I only had one thing on my mind: Netflix. A three part mini series. Drive to Survive Originals: The story of Lizzie Doetterer. I honestly had no idea what to think about it. They wanted to highlight my way from karting over Formula Regional, to GP3, F2, then to WSeries and finally into F1. How hard it was as a girl coming this far. The challenges I had to face. But they also wanted to see my private life, past and present. How could I provide that? There was already enough of my private life splattered out for the world to see. What were the boundaries? Did I have a say in what was filmed? What would make the Final Cut? I had the words of the Netflix representative in my head "Think about the money." I never really cared for the money? Why would I now? Mum, Dad and Rita handled all my money related business. I was deep in thoughts when Charles called.

"Hey pretty boy."

"Hi cara mia, you sound exhausted?"

"Tough days. I’m just happy to go home now." I sighed a little.

"Oh I know that sigh. What’s going on?"

"Netflix."

"Netflix?"

"Netflix!"

"Cara mia I need more than that?"

"Drive to Survive Originals: The story of Lizzie Doetterer. A three part mini series."

"Sounds amazing. I would binge it." Charles chuckled.

"The motorsport side of it? Yeah… but the “who is Lizzie Doetterer outside of racing? The person behind the lid?”- side of the story? I don’t know."

"So it’s not entirely about racing?"

"No. They want to show parts of my private life. Show me as an approachable, young woman. Who was oppressed half her life by male competitors. How it affected me as a person. How it affected my family and friends… they even want you and Pierre in it… because of our karting past!"

"Max?"

"He said a long time ago fuck off to them, so I guess no."

"Will you do it?"

"I don’t know. I don’t want to reveal the last remaining private parts of my life to Netflix and therefore the world…"

"Understandable. But the other aspect would be good. For every young girl with a love and passion for motorsport."

"Jeez! Rub salt in the wound…"

"Sorry, cara mia. I just think you maybe have to talk to them? How much of your private life they want to show. And how much power over the content they’ll show in the end you’ll be having?"

"Yeah, maybe you’re right. I’ll have a talk with Julie. Thanks… you really helped me."

"Always. So where are you right now?"

"Around 30 minutes away from home."

"You’ll be going with Liam tomorrow to that father-son-thing?"

"Well as far as I know, yes. He said it’s okay if I want to come. But I don’t have to. When I said I was excited he seemed to be a little happy. But Sissy texted me an hour ago that there were kids laughing at him because he’s taking me, his aunt, not even an uncle, instead of his dad… so yeah. I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to wait and see what’s his mood tomorrow."

"Why are kids so mean?"

"No idea. I just know that if he really doesn’t want to go tomorrow, because I’m a girl, I definitely won’t be mad at him… because that’s what he said to Sissy. He only said yes to me because he didn’t want me to feel bad… and now? I don’t know. I want him to go there tomorrow, head held high. Smile on his face with a proud attitude that he can have fun with everyone. But also I just want to stay at home with him and cuddle him and tell him it’s okay to stay at home if he doesn’t want to go with me, his aunt, a girl, to a field trip with only boys/men…"

"Tough. I’m really sorry. I wish I could do something."

"I think no one of us can."

"That sucks."

"You don’t say?"

"I don’t want to hang up, but Sylvia is giving me her evil look. I think they’ll need me."

"Alright. Call me when you’ve got time. Love you."

"I love you more."

I sat at the kitchen island, waiting for Sissy and Liam, as she walked into the kitchen, sighing.

"He’s definitely not coming out of his room…" she said and sat down next to me.

"What the hell did these kids say to him?" I asked and she shrugged her shoulders.

"I don’t know. He just said he doesn’t want to go anymore…" she looked defeated "I hate him, he doesn’t care for his son! He was suing me, trying to get his name on the birth certificate, Liam having his last name? For what? What if the court would granted him all his demands? He would’ve still fucked everything up and not be here for him! And now Liam refuses to go to this trip because it’s a father and son day! Whose idea was that? How insensitive are they?" I could see the tears prickling in her eyes and hugged her "There will be so many situations where he needs a dad, but he only has me!"

"We’ll manage it. He has all of us." I said and got up "And now I’ll get him so we can all be upset together." I left and walked up into their loft. "Bubba? Can I come in?"

"I’m not going on the trip!" he whispered, his voice hoarse.

"That’s okay, but can you come downstairs? We’re upset, you’re upset, let’s all be upset together? And maybe have some ice cream for breakfast?" I said and he looked up. Jackpot. "Come on, ice cream and movies?"

"Okay…" he nodded and took my hand and together we walked downstairs.

"Hey my baby boy… everything ok now?" Sissy asked him gently and he shrugged his shoulders.

"We’re having ice cream for breakfast!" he said and my sister looked at me with wide eyes "And we’re watching movies!"

"Umm yeah, sure…" she replied and I just grinned apologetically as I heard a car approaching, one look out of the kitchen window and my heart skipped a beat. I heard the car door closing and just a moment later Charles walked into the kitchen.

"Sorry that I’m late, but I had to stop at the petrol station. Ready, Bubba?" he said a little out of breath and Liam jumped into his arms.

"You’re coming with me? Really?" he asked and Charles nodded.

"Of course! Now come on! Get dressed!" he sat Liam down who sprinted away.

"You’re here?" Sissy asked with a thin voice, tears in her eyes.

"I‘m here!" Charles answered smiling at her and Sissy hugged him.

"Thank you, Charles! You have no idea what that means to me! No, what it means to him!" she whispered.

"I will always try to be here for him, no matter what!" he smiled and looked at me and I had to do my best to not cry.

"I’ll help him, we’ll be back in a minute!" Sissy said and followed Liam upstairs.

"Hey, cara mia." he whispered and pulled me into his arms, a gentle kiss on my lips.

"Thank you!" I just whispered and he hugged me tighter.

"Everything for you…" he said and I could hear Liam approaching.

"Did you see how high the platforms are, Charlie? That’s going to be so scary! But so cool!" he was the happiest little kid all of a sudden again, all because of Charles. With one last hug for all of us the two boys left and I waved them goodbye at the door, Charles smiling at me. How could someone be this perfect?

For the next 2 days straight we heard story after story of how great the high ropes course was. Liam was smiling that much, I was almost afraid he would be in pain by now.

"And then at the last platform, it’s the highest of all of them, you can decide if you want to be lowered down, or roping down or, and that’s only for the toughest ones they said, if you want to jump! And then it’s like free fall for a couple of metres before there is some kind of brake at the harness that you’re wearing! And guess what! They were all too scared! No one did it! But Charlie and I we were brave enough!" Liam beamed.

"Oh wow! That sounds so cool! Next time I want to join in!" I said and he nodded.

"We can all go! Maybe Omi and Pops not? They’re a little old…" he whispered the last part and Charles had to laugh.

"I heard that!" Dad shouted from the barbecue and Liam giggled a little.

"Ooopsie!" he jumped out of my lap and disappeared inside.

"You made him the happiest, coming here and going on that field trip with him!" Dad said as he sat down next to us.

"I needed it as well. A little break away from…" Charles began but then shook his head.

"What’s going on at the Scuderia?" Dad asked and I looked up from my book.

"The usual. Nothing to concerning."

"They were giving you a hard time… because of Austria?" I said and he nodded a little.

"They weren’t the happiest that I didn’t had Ferrari’s back when it came to your penalties… but I said that it was unfair what the FIA was doing. They kinda accepted it." he shrugged his shoulder and I sighed.

It hurt that Ferrari was turning into some kind of enemy. They were still the team my heart belonged to, the team that awakened my love for Formula 1. The team I celebrated big triumphs with. But more and more they turned into more than just a competitor. The rivalry between Carlos and I was topic number one in all F1 related blogs, podcasts and so on, over the past week. But it wasn’t just Carlos who agitated me. No it was Ferrari’s treatment of Charles. More so Mattia Binotto’s treatment of Charles. The strategy blunders? The unreliable car. Just too many mistakes, screwing Charles over more than once.

"Lizzie?" Charles threw a grape at me and I looked up "Where were you again?"

"Sansibar." I chuckled and he cocked an eyebrow "I was just thinking about… umm…"

"Netflix?"

"Netflix! I guess I really will have a talk with Julie…"

"What does Netflix want from you?" Dad chimed in and I realised that I forgot to tell my family about it. Charles was happy to fill him and Mum and Sissy who joined us outside in.

"That sounds amazing! Think about the millions of people you could reach? They all will know then how hard it was for you to make it into F1!" Sissy said.

"It would mean a lot to every girl who’s interested in motorsports out there." Mum agreed.

"But they want to film my private life as well? Imagine we’re sitting here. Having a conversation like this and there is a camera crew? It’s like the Kardashian’s thing? Am I supposed to sit here, eat a salad and talk about I don’t know what? While being filmed?" I really wasn’t sure about it.

"I would like to think we’re a little more interesting than the Kardashians…" Dad said and I had to laugh "Whoever they are."

"Funny guy." I groaned as Liam ran out of the house, handing Dad the phone.

"Someone for you. He said he’s a lawyer."

"Okay? Thanks Bubba." Dad got up and walked away.

"A lawyer?" Charles looked at me but I had no idea what’s going on, so I looked at Mum.

"Don’t look at me! I have no idea…" she held her hands up and I watched Dad closely. He talked for another 5 minutes until he hung up and came back.

"What’s going on?" I said as soon as he sat down.

"That was Hans‘ lawyer. The testament was opened and now they’re needing us to accept our share." he said and I gulped "We have an appointment tomorrow."

"Great." was all I could say, Charles took my hand in his and squeezed it gently.

"It’s in the morning, so you guys can leave as planned tomorrow night." Dad said and Charles nodded.

"You’re awfully quiet, cara mia?" Charles asked after we’ve driven for almost 3 hours.

"Hans was a freaking multi millionaire!" I exclaimed and he looked at me "Seriously. He set up trust funds for his two grandkids, really generous ones, then a large amount for his son. And the rest of his private fortune… well I get it. And then of course the karting track and all the business accounts? It’s a freaking lot! I spoke with Dad, we’re not selling the karting track. We keep it and he will take over the academy. Hans had a bunch of new ideas for the track and the academy and Dad will take care of it."

"But that sounds good, no? You don’t seem to be too happy about it?"

"I mean… Dad already sacrificed so much for me, he was only working part time to support me and travel with me. Now the academy? I don’t want him to feel obligated to do it?"

"Did you tell him that?"

"Yeah…"

"And?"

"He said he would quit his job and focus on the karting track 100%. Realise all of Hans’ plans for a complete renovation and modernisation of the track…"

"But that’s a good thing? If he wants to do that?"

"It is. It’s just… he will have all the work, all the pressure, all the stress! And still will try to be at as many races as possible! I’m just afraid it’s getting all too much for him…"

"Hmm. He just loves watching you race. But yeah maybe he should split his time then a little?"

"Can you tell him that? Because when I did, he just rolled his eyes and said he’ll be fine…"

"You want me to tell Pops what to do? Hell no."

"You’re a scaredy-cat!"

"I’m not, I just know that he won’t listen anyway."

"Maybe I could ask Mum to talk to him?"

"Sounds like a plan."

We continued our drive in silence and I slowly drifted off every now and then, although trying my best to stay awake.

"You can sleep, cara mia. I’m fine." Charles chuckled after I flinched again, gently slapping my cheeks to stay awake.

"No! I’m not sleeping when you have to drive! I’m awake!" I mumbled and yawned.

"Driving from Maranello to Ludwigsburg and then all the way back to Monaco really isn’t the best of ideas."

"You did it couple of times before."

"I know. And it was always when I had decided spontaneously to come. I wouldn’t plan it intentionally."

"Me neither."

I connected my phone to the car and Charles groaned a little.

"I want to stay awake and for that I need to sing… so come on, let your inner Swiftie out."

"There is no inner Swiftie."

"Oh please."

The next 2 hours were filled with me singing along to Taylor Swift and Charles driving, with a content smile on his face.

"You know what? I have an inner Swiftie in me, but only for you singing the songs."

"Oh come on."

"No I’m serious, I’ve told you this before and you never believe me. But I really love hearing you sing, anything, not just Taylor Swift."

"Charles, it’s sweet of you, but yeah no, I’m not a good singer."

"Let’s agree that we disagree on that one."

"Whatever." I looked outside, the sun beginning to rise around us "If you need to switch, I could drive for a bit?"

"I’m fine, but thank you."

"Do we have anything planned for today or tomorrow?"

"Nope. Relax, a little work outs here and there. And on Thursday we’re driving to Le Castellet."

"Alrighty. Two days doing nothing? Sounds too good to be true."

"We could take the boat tomorrow? One last little cruise."

"What do you mean?"

"What?"

"You said one last cruise?"

"I did?"

"Don’t try to play it down! What do you mean? Did you sell Monza?"

"Okay, this was supposed to be a surprise… I sold it, wait, and bought a new one. A bigger one… I called it Sedici and it’s currently being customised, it should be done by the end of this month…"

"Wait! When we just out of fun looked through the different interior designs of yachts and you asked about my opinion, that was not just out of fun, was it?"

"I might took in some of your ideas… and by that I mean most of your ideas…"

"Charles! Why a bigger one? Wait? How much bigger?"

"Just a little… and I thought that we could all hang out more together on the water… especially during the summer break…"

"Has this something to do with your mysterious plans for the summer break you’re not telling me about?"

"Maybe."

"Okay, keep your secrets. But yeah. We could take the boat tomorrow, have a little day out on the water, it’s been a while."

"Perfect."

"Hi Lizzie, yesterday in FP1 you had some problems to get the car in the right set up, in FP2 you couldn’t drive. Now P7 in qualifying. Not too bad after the problems you had?" Karun Chandhok from SkyUK asked.

"Yeah FP1 was just not it, im the car felt stiff and oversteery, so yeah it was tough and then we had the issues with our electric in FP2. And yeah FP3 wasn’t much better. But yeah P7 is okay. I can manage I guess."

"What do you think is possible tomorrow?"

"The track is not really suitable for our car, on paper at least, so yeah, we’ll see. But P7 is a good position, to maybe make up one or two positions."

"Carlos will start in P5 in front of you tomorrow, have you guys talked about last weekend? Will we see a fair battle?"

"We haven’t talked, for me there is nothing to say. I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to race, to win. I let my results speak for myself. And I will drive the same way I did last weekend.”

"Thank you Lizzie and good luck!"

"And that’s P6. Good race, little one" Pete radioed and I sighed.

"I tried."

"You did good."

"Valtteri?"

"P4."

"Awesome!"

I drove into the pit lane and parked my car behind Checo and got out of the car. I waited for Pierre and he pulled me into his side, walking towards the weighing.

"He’ll be a mess." Pierre said in hushed French and I nodded.

"I still don’t understand what happened? He lost the rear?"

"Yeah, let’s just hope it was the car…"

"And not his mistake? You’re right. He would be devastated…"

As I got my receipt I congratulated Max, Lewis and George.

"Hey Finnisher! Good race!" I hugged Valtteri and he patted my back.

"You too, little one! Thanks for opening up that door for me…" he chuckled a little and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah we went both a little off there." I shrugged my shoulders.

We walked back into our garage and I passed an awaiting JK my helmet, taking my bottle from him.

"What happened?" I looked at him.

"It wasn’t your fault, I mean you two touched a few times over the course of the race, yeah more or less within the rules, but nothing major. Nothing big. He hit a kerb pretty hard and then had an issue with his floor, that’s why he had to retire. You weren’t involved."

"What? No, not Carlos. Charles?"

"Oh… umm he lost the rear."

"No shit Sherlock! How?"

"Driver error."

"Fuck! Did you see him?"

"Only for a moment. He’s okay…"

"No he’s not. Can you stall Julie for a bit? I just want to see him. Couple of minutes only."

"Stall her? Julie? Stall Julie? How? She’s a menace!"

"I don’t know, flirt with her?"

"She’s married. I have a girlfriend."

"Tell her… tell her I’m having a shit."

"Sure Lizzie Räikkönen!"

"I don’t care what you tell her, just- just stall her okay?

"I’ll try my best…"

"Thanks, you’re the best!"

"Go now!"

I sprinted away, behind the garages, until I was at Ferrari. I couldn’t just walk in obviously, like Charles could into the Audi garage, so I had to wait for someone to come out. One of the mechanics I knew noticed me an I waved him over.

"Hey Lizzie, how are you?" Mauro asked and I smiled my most charming smile.

"I’m good! I just wanted to check on Charles? Can you maybe get him for me?"

"Oh, yeah sure! I’ll go and have a look!"

"Thank you so much!" he smiled and left.

As I stood at the side I saw Carlos Sainz sr. leave the garage, looking at me.

"Hola Señor Sainz." I nodded at him and he gritted his teeth slightly.

"Doetterer." he replied and walked off.

"Nice to see you too." I chuckled a little and looked back into the garage, where Mauro was talking to my favourite red head, who shook her head, walking straight to me.

"Lizzie." Sylvia said, awfully sweet.

"Sylvia." I replied, even sweeter.

"Charles can’t come. We have our debrief now, since both our drivers had to retire, we start a little earlier. You can see him later." her words were final and she left.

"And also nice to see you too." I sighed and walked back to my garage as a mad looking Julie already waited for me.

"Did you see your lover boy? Can we go now?" she chided and I nodded.

"I haven’t seen my lover boy, but yes we can go, my lovely Julie!" I smiled and she grabbed my arm.

"Come on now, and Lizzie? Please! Don’t be petty, or happy or malicious about Carlos' DNF, okay?" she urged me and I nodded.

"Got it."

"Tough race? Some hard battles there with Carlos? Just like yesterday in the Sprint race?"

"Yeah, we raced hard but fair. Touched here and there, but still all within the regulations. It was a fun battle."

"You were able to put some distance between Carlos before you had a little lock-up?"

"Yeah, that was my mistake. I was a little too greedy I guess. He came close again and we had another intense battle."

"But then Carlos went off. Without your input."

"Yeah I didn’t see him going off, he was gone and my race engineer told me then that he’s out."

"Overall a good weekend for you? Yesterday P4. Today P6. You said as long as you’re in front of car 55 it’s a win for you."

"I shouldn’t have said that in the first place, but yeah. Like I said, I let my results speak for myself."

"Any final words after this weekend?"

"I always was a huge fan of karma…" I had to. I couldn’t hold back. With a big smile I left, Julie next to me just shaking her head.

"I hate you." was all she said and I laughed.

"You love me."

As I walked out, I saw Charles leaning against his Pista, eyes hidden behind his Ray Bans, head hung low.

"Hey…" I said and he looked up.

"You ready to go?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

"Yup." I answered and he opened the door for me "Thanks." he smiled faintly, closed the door and walked around the car.

As he got in, he started the engine and drove off of the parking lot, where loads of fans were gathered. Security holding them back, only on the right side the fans could approach the car and as they were all screaming for Charles, he sighed. I opened the window and the screaming got louder, I looked for a sharpie in my bag, grabbed some of the things they were shoving at us and handed them Charles to sign.

"We love you, Charles!"

"You’ll come back stronger!"

"Daghe Charles!"

"We believe in you!"

Nothing of it changed Charles emotionless face, he just signed the stuff and handed it to me, some fans were asking for my signature as well and I happily obliged to them. After 5 minutes the security guys waved at us and Charles nodded, he leaned a bit over and thanked the fans, I waved them goodbye, then he drove off.

The first 30 minutes we sat in silence. Charles right hand on the steering wheel, left arm on the window frame. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Okay, let’s talk about it…" I began, but he shook his head.

"I’d rather not." he said and I looked at him.

"Yeah well, you don’t always get what you want. So, what happened?" I said and Charles gripped the steering wheel with both hands tight "We have more than an hour to drive left and I don’t want this to be a monologue! So? Tell me, what happened?”

"I lost the rear, haven’t you seen it? I pushed too hard, wanted too much, lost the rear and the championship, all because I am stupid…" he said and I waited for more, but Charles stayed silent.

"Okay, so you wanted to win so badly, that you gave it your all, pushed the car too much and then lost the rear?" I asked and Charles groaned but nodded "Okay."

"Okay? That’s all you have to say? Okay?" he asked and looked at me for a second.

"What else do you want me to say?" I looked at him.

"You could say that I’m stupid, that I keep making mistake, after mistake, that I will never be a world champion because I’m not consistent enough, you could say that I’m just not good enough for Formula 1…" he begann but I scoffed "What?"

"No, go on, I’m sure you have a lot of other very nice things to say about yourself…" I looked out the window and we kept on driving in silence, the sky turning darker with every Kilometer that we got closer to Monaco.

"I’m just making too many mistakes, I can’t handle the pressure, Max doesn’t make mistakes like this, he’s consistent…" Charles said after a while.

"Charles, that’s not…" I began but he shook his head.

"No, Lizzie, it’s true, Max doesn’t make mistakes, he…" Charles began.

"But you’re not fucking Max Verstappen! You’re Charles Leclerc, who made a mistake today, a mistake that costed you a lot, but it did not cost you the championship! Goddamnit, Charles! Yes, today was your mistake. 100%. But you own up to it! You know you made a mistake. But the reason why you make these mistakes are not because you’re not good enough, or not consistent enough, or that you can’t handle the pressure. The reason you keep making these mistakes is that for some strange reason you still think that you have to prove yourself, you still think you have to show that you truly deserve your seat and that your good enough and that you think you have to be better to make your dad and Jules proud, and that lack of confidence in your abilities, paired with the insecurities you’re team is giving you by fucking you over every other race… yeah well, we saw what happened." I said and Charles didn’t reply, he just kept driving "You know what is good though? This is something you can change, something you can work on."

"And how? How do I stop making these mistakes?" he asked.

"Really simple, stop thinking too much about all this bullshit. Drive. Focus on what you’re best at. Believe in yourself. Push yourself to the limit but not above. Drive with the passion that brought you here all those years ago. Don’t do it for anyone else but yourself! And for fucks sake, Charles, start to be confident in your own abilities!" I said and he smiled a little. He reached his hand out and laid it on my thigh, gently rubbing it.

"Maybe you’re right, but still. Today was just… god I was so close…" he sighed.

"Oh pretty boy, the season is not over yet!" I smiled.

As we parked the car Charles switched the engine off and looked at me for a moment.

"God, I love you so much!" he said and launched at me, kissing me fiercely, igniting a fire running through my veins.

"Come on now, pretty boy. I’m hungry and tired!" I unbuckled my seat and Charles was already out of the car, opening the door for me, holding out his hand to help me out.

"And they say chivalry is dead."

"Not when it comes to you, mon amour."

Little Note:

Chapter 21 - there’s a rivalry blossoming 😬 (no hate towards Carlos, he just really makes a great antagonist).

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

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Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

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[pontiussy]

JACKASS BF HEADCANNONS!!!

warnings: none, sfw <3

I’ve had these in the drafts for so long but my twitter moot mentioned hcs which inspired me to post these, enjoy!

Chris

goofy ahh

you guys r always giggling about dumb shit

annoying everyone bc you guys do NOT SHUT UP AROUND EACHOTHER ur so giggly all the time

he doesn't care:)

WILL PLAY GUITAR FOR YOU SHSJKSKS

even if he's just messing around you love listening to him

he loves how excited you get when he plays for you, his smile is so cute AAAA <33

late night walks

tackle hugs !!

squeezes you to death and does the lil spinny thing when hugging

always followed by forehead kissies

pinches ur cheeks n shit

just the gigglest relationship ever

he just always smiles around you :)) he can't help it

lets you play with his hair

he loves it

you brush it for him, and braid it sometimes

he is so thankful and makes sure to tell you how pretty his hair looks now

not that it needed your help at ALL

always cuddlin

you love watching him do bits

and he loves having you on set

never seen a man so proud of his s.o. being there to witness his boys do silly things to his ding ding

he comes over to you after every one to see if you thought it was funny or not

just like this :D

assuring him that you did think it was funny

calling him party boy affectionately

and calling him chrissy :))

he calls you 'y/n bug' :"")

also has silly nicknames for you for sure based on inside jokes

would still think you are just as beautiful if you hadn't showered in a month and were wearing a garabge bag

this is so specific but I just picture him to make a lil flower crown for you :")

Bam

known each other since you were kids

always hung out with him and the cky gang growing up

corny friends to lovers bullshit when you get older

being his personal nurse when he wipes out

acts like he hates it in front of the guys

loves it

obvi calling him bammy, bambi, bam bam

calling him brandon occasionally to piss him off

bam is a pouty whiny BITCH

he just wants ur attention!!

will not hesitate to grab your hand in public when someone flirts with you

ur his >:-( !!!

buys you jewelry, clothes, shit whatever ur lil heart desires

going to concerts together

money is not an object when it comes to making you happy

does not appreciate it when the guys mess with you on set

he gets very aggressive

"bam its okay it was funny pls calm down" "no its not okay these dickheads need to leave you alone!!!" all POUTYYY

wearing his clothes

he thinks you're so beautiful when you do and makes sure you know

doing his eyeliner

laying on his chest when you sleep, him scratching your head gently <3

rubs your back when you hug him

calls u "my girl" AAAA

matching tats ofc

matching outfits sometimes too

loves buying you new clothes for you to model for him

he just thinks you're so pretty <3

april and phil just love you

Johnny

he calls you so so many sweet names

I think it's his love language

doll, darlin', punkin, sweetheart, etc

"how was your day, doll?"

he's so flirty with you

he never stopped flirting with you even after you became official

king of romance

would take you to the rodeo or some shit

does that whistle thing when you enter a room lookin all dolled up

"now who's this pretty lil thing?"

loves getting you embarrassed by flirting with you in front of people

loves to hold your waist

prefers that you don't watch his really dangerous stunts, he doesn't want you to be scared :"(

he thinks you're beautiful no matter what, but cannot deny that he LOVES when you wear his favorite dress and do your hair really nice

"you know just what to do to drive a man wild, darlin'"

you love wearing his pink jackass cardigan

I feel like he would really enjoy you wearing red lipstick so he can mess it up later

SITTING IN HIS LAP

in front of the guys too he doesn't give a fuck

he babies you a lot

you are his whole world

singing songs together in the car !!

Ryan

simply the sweetest bf ever

arm around you always

"hun" :")

so many forehead kisses

both of u being adopted by april

I just feel like he'd be very comforting, and the best to have deep, late night convos with

will never judge you for anything (make jokes? oh definitely. never judgemental tho)

cuddly asf

would affectionately do that head rub hair messing up thing?? (there's a word for that i just can't think of it)

always there to calm you when you’re stressed or scared, in any way you need

“shh it’s ok I’m here” “I’m not going anywhere hun” and hugs and forehead kisses and shit awwwww

loves hugs

he’s such a gentle lover, I don’t know how else to put it. He’s just so sweet and caring and soft n shit

he would do anything to put a smile on your face

if one of the guys tried to mess with you? he will punch the shit out of them seriously

you are ry’s world ok!!!!

you and him are absolutely best friends

never the arguing type. if there’s a problem you’re gonna sit down and talk about it. he’s an amazing listener and always understands your side of things. of course lots of huggin and cuddlin after the fact :)

he babies the shit out of you

I picture him to always bring you little gifts/trinkets to show his love. like if he was filming out of town he’d bring you back something cool he found at a thrift store or gift shop, or maybe a cool rock he found on the side of the road.

i also picture him to wanna buy you cute stuff too like necklaces, but random cool items are a staple in this relationship!

always wearing his shirts

I picture him to kiss u a LOT. he’s leaving the room for a sec? gotta kiss that cheek. you’re watching a movie? soft kisses on the forehead. going on a walk? kisses your hand while holding it.

Steve-O

calls u babe

respectful king

shows you off at any opportunity

romantic asf

flower petals in your bedroom n shit type romantic

helping him with his elaborate bullshit ideas

partners in crime honestly

matching fits type cheesy

prank wars with eachother

thinks you are an angelic being and deserve the highest of respect and praise

adopting pets together :)) and being pet parents :))

going on trips and vacations together as often as possible!

I can’t even fathom how he would react if someone disrespected you oh god

it would be so ugly

they are absolutely destroyed

if you’re ever feeling insecure, he ain’t having that bullshit

worship!!!!!!

he’s gonna go on and on and on about how drop dead gorgeous and wonderful you are and kiss the shit out of you

you better not dare say anything negative about yourself in his presence, he will give you an ear full so fast

you are a god to him

he definitely buys you jewelry n shit

and cute lil outfits

and compliments the shit out of you in them obvi

“damnn baby you look so good in that”

HANDSY SO HANDSY

hands to yourself has no meaning to him (obviously unless you told him to stop! he’d never wanna make you uncomfy)

Dave

SO SO SWEET!

calls you things like “love” n “sweetheart”

squishes ur cheeks n shit

hugs from behind !!!!

corny ass dates like going to a diner and having a milkshake with two straws

you both baby eachother

comforting him after gnarly stunts

petting and kissing him

if you ever need comfort he will pet and kiss you too

always has an arm around you

loves being close to you!

he is such a kind and loving bf

would never ever want you to be sad and will do anything it takes to prevent it

ehren third wheeling on trips n shit

you have the best times together when it’s you 3! always giggling

but it’s even better when ehren leaves and it’s just the two of you, sharing sweet loving moments where nothing else matters, just you two together, in warm embrace :)

your chemistry is just so good, that it’s almost like you speak a foreign language sometimes to the other guys. no one gets eachother like you do, even if it may not make sense to others

I think he would love playing with your hair

and just holding you

and doing both at the same time actually

he is just the kindest ever and it’s always so considerate of you.

best listener. you could really rant to him for hours and he’s gonna give you his full undivided attention and comfort.

also great advice too I feel. I think all around he’d be amazing to talk to

never ever ever ever judgemental. ever

loves you to death !!!

Ehren

he is baby

you wear the pants in this relationship and that’s cool with him

I picture you two to have met on set. you had been costars for a while. while everyone was making ehren the butt of a joke, you just never participated. If ehren and dave weren’t partnering up for stunts, it was typically you and ehren. you made a great duo, being the underdogs of the jackass crew. you understood eachother and had a great bond. you eventually confessed your feelings to one another one night while you were hanging out at his place.

he was completely shocked

he thought you were far too beautiful and lovely and cool to want someone like him

you assure him he is acting silly

he was so giddy and smiley, and you could practically feel his butterflies secondhand when you leaned in to kiss him

been together ever since

like I said ehren is baby

little spoon energy

he worships the ground you walk on bc he thinks he doesn’t deserve you

you have to reassure him that you absolutely adore him

he loves holding your hand

I picture him to always smile at you the same way he did in the honeymoon phase forever

he’s all yours, he’s such a sucker for you

separation anxiety like a mf

you stay with a friend for a weekend and the second you come home he’s tackling you with hugs, he’s so excited to see you :)))

he would lay his head in your lap and have you scratch his head while watching movies on the couch

he thinks you are the most wonderful person on this planet and will never fail to remind you of how proud he is of you and all you’ve achieved

I picture him to write you little love notes n shit which are so thoughtful and meaningful but with cute little spelling mistakes sprinkled in (how do I spell gorjus headass)

takes anniversaries and v day and all that shit so seriously and WILL go all out

always your choice of food and activities on those days, he lives to please you

a little bit of a jealous type (maybe a lot a bit)

you’ll always reassure him though

sweetest baby ever I love him

[untaemedqueen]

The Deal

Drug Lord!Yoongi x Coffee Shop Owner!Reader

Genre: Strangers to Lovers!AU, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Chapter 30.

Series Warnings (Will Be Updated): Mentions of Drugs and Drug Deals, Blood, Smut, Emotional Damage, Love, Gunshot Wounds

Warnings For This Chapter: Deep Talks, Unprotected Sex, Pregnant Sex, Sir Kink, Begging, Praise, Creampie

It didn't take long to get back to the forest and the whole time Yoongi clung to you like a sloth.

It's almost as if the four months your boyfriend was gone had completely disappeared in the blink of an eye. The way he holds you in sheer silence with his hand pressed snuggly to your stomach makes you almost want to crawl into a hole and die.

You thought you would have so many things to say and so many questions for him but the silence ended up being more comfortable than you could imagine.

No one spoke, really. It was like a gigantic invisible force field was wrapped around the drug lord and nothing could get to him.

Without a word, he scooped you up from the backseat of the trunk once you were both safely home. Now with the both of you sitting at the end of your large bed, he finally speaks.

"I love you."

Your heart wants to shatter and dissipate at the simplicity of his words.

"I love you too," you breathe.

Yoongi pulls you closer, burying his face into your neck with a sigh.

With the silence of the house creeping around you, it feels comfortable.

You feel comfortable for the first time in forever.

"I'm so sorry, baby doll," your boyfriend whispers.

"It's not your fault," you reply.

And you mean that wholeheartedly. It was unfair and unjust what happened to the father of your little girl, he isn't to be blamed at all.

"Taehyung told me some things… about our girl."

You find yourself ashamed, if you're being honest. You haven't wanted to pay attention to your growing bump. It hasn't been an easy road and every hardship along the way has made you resent this unborn baby who's done nothing wrong.

You don't even have the confidence to meet his gaze. You just stare straight ahead, hoping that the conversation would just disappear.

You've gotten so good over the past few months at masking anything and everything you can when you're conflicted. You've had no one to lean on like Yoongi, not even your younger brother who you love so dearly could help ease your pain so you hid it away in a tiny little metal box within your heart.

So you do so now, like all the other times.

"Like what?" you mumble, folding your arms.

Yoongi sits up then, grabbing your wrists gently and prying your locked limbs away from your body. It doesn't take him an ounce of his strength and yet, you still struggle.

"Come on, baby," Yoongi begs, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into the comfort of his hug.

You don't answer him and he takes it upon himself to correct the situation.

"While I was away you turned into me before I got with you. And I get it, believe me I do. It's hard to be angry at the world and keep everything on your shoulders. And you can be angry at me and angry at every-fucking-body because what happened was unfair… but it's not good for the baby."

His words punch you in the gut and you can practically taste bloody iron in your mouth at this moment.

He lays back on the bed, taking you with him and cradling your head against his chest.

"We're in this together, Y/N. You gotta talk to me."

Your sigh is irritated and short but you wrap your arm around him tightly nonetheless. "I'm not mad at you. You didn't do anything wrong."

The drug lord tilts his head to look down at you and he's more relieved than he could have ever imagined. Just hearing those words, hearing that you're still by his side in everything feels so fucking good.

"I'm glad," he whispers, kissing the top of your head.

He's being so calm and understanding that it coaxes more words from you. "I've been pissed at every other mother fucker I could get my hands on these past four months."

Yoongi presses his lips into a hard line hearing just how grated and venomous your voice is. "I know… but I'm home now and you need to focus on our growing girl."

"I can't," you murmur in reply.

Yoongi is fast to sit up and narrow his eyes at you. "We wanted this. We wanted a baby. We tried for her and we're so fucking lucky that we got her. What do you mean "you can't," baby. You have to."

He sounds so hurt that it makes your limbs feel weary.

"She probably hates m-"

"Stop!" Yoongi cuts you off with wide eyes.

Biting the inside of your cheek, you stare up at the ceiling to avoid his harsh gaze.

"Don't. Just don't. This is our baby. She loves you, you're her mother. Please… don't talk that way. We have to show her all the love in the world. Not this… Not this insecurity. You felt guilty and angry while I was gone but baby doll, I'm back. I'm back and I'm not going anywhere. Don't you love her? Don't you love me?"

You answer without hesitation. "Yes."

"Then we show her that love. Do you understand me? You can't keep this anger built up inside of you like this. Please," your boyfriend begs, drifting his hand over your taut skin.

Swallowing the urge to smack his hand away, you can only nod in agreement.

You have been volatile. You have been a wreck. But you need to learn how to lean on the man you love again.

"Yes?" the scarred man prods.

"Yes," you promise.

"Good girl," Yoongi whispers, wrapping you up in his arms once more.

Just to lay in bed with Yoongi all day feels like nothing short of a miracle.

You'd almost forgotten how much you enjoyed this. The softness of his breathing, the rhythmic beat of his heart that sounds like the most cherished of songs, the gentle kisses were almost completely wiped from your memory. But now as you lay under the sheets, watching the setting sun high above the forest canopy… it's all freshly returning to the forefront of your brain, like acrylic paint drying on a canvas.

"God, I fucking missed this," your boyfriend hisses, hugging you tighter.

When your fingers drift below his white tank top, you can feel the ridges of his abs hard and unwavering beneath your touch.

It seems like most of his jail time went to exercising.

Yoongi shivers at the slow almost sensual touch and his head angles towards you with a sly smirk.

"Did you use the prison clause while I was gone?"

You blink at his words, confused at what he's asking. "What's a prison clause?"

He chuckles then, maneuvering onto his side to drift his hand over your skin. "When your significant other is in jail, you can fuck one of the other men in the family if you want."

Your jaw drops at his words and you're completely baffled at the thought. "Ew. God. Why would I do that?"

The drug lord chuckles, leaning down to kiss at the thin skin of your neck. "Well I read a book while I was inside that was about pregnant women. It said that pregnant women's hormones are all fucked up and they're hornier more of the time."

"What? I wanted to crawl in a hole and die, not take a random dick up anywhere."

"That's my good girl," Yoongi preens, nipping at the thin skin until you're writhing beneath him.

You can tell that he has so much pent up frustration within himself that he needs to let loose and with how comfortable you've been all day, you want to let yourself go as well.

"Come here," the drug lord hisses, hooking his hand around the back of your neck and pulling you in close.

Yoongi doesn't care about foreplay at this moment, he only cares about being deep inside of you.

He needs you like he needs air to breathe. It's been too long without you.

"God," he groans, kissing you deeply.

You can taste the missing and the wanting. You can taste the neediness and you're slowly allowing yourself to succumb to everything he wants.

Everyday inside his cell, he begged each and every god to bring him back to you. He needs you in every way and it's been months since he's had anything to do with you.

The drug lord is quick to take off your clothes, not caring about the expensive garments that are torn to shreds in mere seconds.

"Oh my God, look at you," he hisses, running his hands over your sides.

He doesn't care about savoring the moment if he's being honest, he just wants to be balls deep inside of you, chasing a high that he hasn't felt in ages.

Your boyfriend strips out of his clothes in mere moments, not even giving you a chance to appreciate his newly sinewed body.

Your breath gathers in anticipation while he prods the head of his cock to your now weeping cunt.

"I fucking love you," he murmurs, pressing his lips to yours.

He enters you slowly, both of your mouths dropping open at the sheer stretch.

His forehead falters to the valley of your breasts. Whimpering at the small burn as he stretches you, your fingernails graze his muscled, tattooed arms.

"So fucking tight," he groans, suckling at your nipple to distract you.

He lets your pussy adjust around him, his hand cupping your distended stomach.

"God, this feels so fucking good," he whimpers, flicking your nipple with the tip of his tongue.

Pulling his cock almost all the way out, he moans at the way your velvet walls clench around him.

Yoongi kisses you languidly, drifting his fingers along your bump as if he almost can't believe you're carrying his child.

"Tell me how much you missed my cock," he begs, pressing his forehead to yours.

"So much, Sir. It feels so fucking good," you mewl, looking up into his mocha irises.

"That's my good girl," he praises, snapping his hips back to meet yours.

He begins a relentless pace, groaning and moaning as pleasure courses through his bones.

"Fuuuck, you feel fucking incredible," the drug lord hisses, cupping your breasts with his hands.

You can't help the breathless whines and sweet moans that breach past your lips like a prayer.

Your boyfriend continues to lavish you with attention, pulling your ankles up and over his shoulders to deeply fuck you the way you deserve.

"It's been so long," you gasp softly, raking your nails down his inked chest.

"I know baby doll, I can feel your pussy already trembling for it," the drug lord coos.

He begins to develop a thin sheen of sweat, swiping his thumbs sweetly over your stiff peaked nipples and adoring how your body shakes with pleasure.

"God, your little pregnant cunt is amazing," Yoongi praises, moving one hand from your breast to rub fast, hot circles to your throbbing clit.

"S-Sir!" you whinge, feeling your stomach begin to bubble over with euphoric intentions.

"Give it to me, sweetheart. Show me how much you missed me. C'mon," the drug lord mumbles, fucking into you faster and harded until all of your senses solely belong to him.

He can feel your cunt beginning to milk him for all he's worth. "That's it, baby doll. Cum on my cock. Give it to me."

Your breathing becomes shallow and all you can think about is the insane amount of pleasure that you feel as your body tips over the precipice.

You can hear how wet you are, the sound is almost deafening.

"Yes, fuck! Go ahead, baby, let go," Yoongi coos.

As you orgasm, the sharpness of his moan makes you shudder.

"Christ! You're so fucking tight!"

You can feel his cock beginning to thicken and throb within you and you can think of nothing you want more than for him to fill you up.

"Please cum inside me, Sir. I want to feel it," you beg.

His bottom lip tucks between his teeth and he's so close to combusting right then and there at your sweet begging. "Yeah? That's what you want? You want me to cum deep inside you? You want me to make a fucking mess for you?"

You nod incessantly, allowing him to grasp your wrists and haul them over your head in a vice-like grip.

He fucks you faster, allowing all the stress that's become entangled throughout his muscles for months just to diminish slowly.

"You look so beautiful carrying my kid, y'know that?" Yoongi praises, pulling your legs off of him to butterfly them apart.

"Sir," you preen, letting your head loll back as he continues his relentless pace.

"I'm so fucking close," he whimpers, cupping your stomach.

"Cum inside me, please," you whine.

His cock begins to pulse at a rate that seems almost inhuman.

"Who do you belong to, sweetheart? Who owns this pregnant cunt?"

"You, Sir! Only you!"

"Damn fucking straight," he hisses.

His thrusts become harder and uneven and his thighs begin to lock in place.

"Shit! I'm cumming, baby. I'm fucki-"

He groans loudly, burying his face into your neck as he cums deep within you.

It's practically animalistic the way he wraps his arms around you as if to cage you in his embrace to show you where you belong.

You can feel how fast his heart is racing as you place your cheek against his chest.

There's silence for a moment but you're comfortable once more.

"We have a lot of work to do. I'm pulling us out of the business. It's not safe," your boyfriend admits.

Your eyes widen and you look up at him with shock written all over your face. "Seriously?"

Yoongi nods thoughtfully, combing his fingers through your hair. "Yeah. We can't raise our daughter in an environment like this. We need to get out of this forest, create a new, legal business. And we need to start over. We have the money for it."

You never expected this. Not in the least. But you can see how the family needs this.

"Well… where do we begin?" you inquire softly.

"First I need to take care of something…" Yoongi whispers, pulling the sheets over the both of you.

"Like what?" you mumble, getting comfortable on your pillow.

"Reptile exterminating," he hisses, kissing the top of your head.

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The Deal taglist – @jeon-junggoop, @btsarmy9593, @slothykrueger, @jcsmae, @milesjeon11, @cloudyblisss, @borahae-reads, @secretlycrazyhummingbird, @rjsmochii, @sugas-bbygirl, @ggukkieland, @hyungieyoongi, @chxmachxps, @dvalitaes, @vintageroses10, @maerawrrr, @flowerblu00, @veronawrites, @seoqity, @wozwaid, @hisbutton-nose, @sweetempathprunetree, @jinsearthh, @codeinebelle, @serious-addiction, @bt21chim, @rosquilleta, @dunixxd, @rkchmestizangmaldita, @openup-yourmind, @shesaysweirdthings, @marslena, @deathkat657, @yoonlattesworld, @that-funny-alien-28, @clutterfied, @belladaises, @silentkei, @btsnina, @shydestinyyouth, @thefreddieman, @kkklaudiaaa17, @moonchild1, @ronie1974, @jeonghanniehae​, @rinkud, @giselleg7784, @bbkissme99​

[strangerthingsfan-fics]

All a dare gareth emerson x fem!munson reader

Warnings-swearing,crying,kissing,reader has anxiety,mentions of anxiety attack

Gareth couldn’t pull a girl so Dustin Mike and jeff dared him to ask you out obviously your big brother Eddie didn’t want you to get heart broken because you’ve had a crush on gareth for about a year now since you joined hellfire and met him you had a crush on him and what Dustin Mike and jeff said to gareth made his heart break because your eddies little sister you was eddies whole world the least he wanted to happen was you being heart broken over a dare

“Guys you can’t do my sister like that” Eddie says as all the others are chuckling

“What no one here likes her except you” jeff chuckles

Eddie had enough of jeff at this moment he went to go punch him but everyone pulled him away

“She’s been through enough shit seeing her best friend die in our living room than her boyfriend breaking up with her shes been through so much shit and I’m not having anyone break her heart again you know how she was after her ex she was having anxiety attacks and everything if you play her like that your all gonna be dead” Eddie snaps

You was sat by the lockers with your friends laughing until gareth asked to talk to you so you got up and followed him I’ll let you imagine how he asks you out and obviously you said yes eddie felt so bad that in a week his little sister is gonna go through the same as what happend two months ago but Eddie didn’t wanna say because you would just think he’s lying to get his friend back you was always hanging out with gareth until that week came he just kept saying that he had some band stuff to do but he was just sneaking off to Dustin Mike and Jeff to talk about you but when they was talking about you,you was walking past when they mentioned your name you felt nosy but wanted to stick around to hear what they was saying

“So todays the day the dare is over and the money is yours when you break up with Y/N munson and the 10 quid from each of us is yours” Jeff says

“That’s the thing I actually-” he gets cut off by you barging in

“So I was all a dare I fall head over heels for you and I was just a bet I can’t belive this” you say warm tears spilling down your face

You storm off passing eddie when you fling your bag to the ground eddie felt terrible ofc he was your big brother he cared about you so much and to see you in a sobbing mess broke his heart eddie picked your bag up and chased after you with gareth behind him when you sat in the forest at a bench sobbing your eyes you couldn’t belive you’ve me tricked you fall head over heels for the man of your dreams and it turned out to be a bet when gareth and Eddie walk in gareth touches your shoulder

“DONT YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME” you move away from Gareth’s touch

You walked to Eddie and hugged him still sobbing your eyes out

“Yn your don’t understand if you let me finish u would’ve heard me say I’ve actually fell in love with you” he says

You walk out the forest with Eddie not even answering to what gareth said you just couldn’t belive you was a joke a bet that you ment nothing multiple nights you wasn’t sleeping you was laying staring at the roof all you could picture in your head was gareth you never went to anymore hellfire club till eddie bribed you to come all you did was stare at the floor not making eye contact with anyone when you rolled a 20 and killed vecna gareth went to hug but you moved away I think gareth had enough of being ignored and took matters into his own hands and kissed you Eddie didn’t like that but when he saw you kiss him back maybe you was back with gareth maybe you was happy

[fataleefemmee]

friday happened as it always does, it’s our favorite night together. i try to write down everything i can to remember all the sweet memories we have, it was our last busy schedule night until we are able to enjoy the next few days in peace.

i told him i wanted to sleepover on monday night, not giving him an option to say no, not that i thought he would say no. he’s been stressed, very stressed, due to other issues going on in his work life. i’ve been there for him every step of the way and i think he appreciates my input. i find happiness in knowing he finds comfort in being vulnerable with me. i feel like i know him on so many different levels.

i met him at his house on monday night, we had plans to go to a real gym, to which we did. he drove us there, only a few minutes down the street from where he lives. it was his first time in boutique gym like that in a long time. he was so excited and i loved seeing how happy it was making him. for the first time we had a real gym experience, and he switched his split to do back with me. i notice these little things about him which i think makes me fall for him harder. we worked out back together and he was pushing me to go harder and stronger and was uplifting me. we made jokes the whole time that he won the record for most reps. then we went in the sauna together because it’s shared.. he always is going at my pace and my speed, he does what i want and when i want. he’s all about pleasing me..

after the gym we went to publix to grab food. we decided on chicken and potatoes as a side. when it came to choosing the chicken he was feeling up the breasts to see which chicken would be best and we were sitting there cracking up over him fondling the raw chicken packets.

when we got home i started to set up the kitchen for us to cook but he immediately grabbed me and started kissing me.. he put me on top of his couch on the back side and bent me over so i was laying down.. he was so deep inside of me i couldn’t contain myself. he was fucking me so slowly and then fast that i couldn’t keep up. he picked me up and moved me to his kitchen counter where he fucked me there. he picked me up again and brought me to his couch where i rode him until he finished. it wasn’t long but fuck it felt amazing. the best part was, his camera captured the whole thing and of course we watched it.

we jumped in the shower after and then started cooking. he worked on the chicken while i did the potatoes, he told me no girl has ever cooked for him before and that made me feel for him. he deserves someone to cook for him.. he’s such a good person i hate the reputation he has.. he’s so good with me. for once cooking in the kitchen with a man felt right. he let me work in peace, he offered to help, he cleaned as i was cooking, he waited until i was done… and not to compare to my ex, but my ex would yell at me for everything when it came to being in the kitchen together. he showed me such a different side and honestly i feel like i could have said i loved you in that moment because of how happy i was. we ate dinner together and he kissed me and said nice teamwork babe. it truly melted my heart how into cooking with me he was.. we made a good team.

we watched the matt rife comedy show and then theo von, we were cracking up with one another. for dessert we had these sex chocolates that he bought. they were so yummy. we didn’t need them but of course we had to try. 30 minutes later we were having the sweatiest, nastiest sex in his bed, we didn’t stop until after an hour and then we both passed out.

as per usual we cuddled all night long, dripping in sweat but sleeping in each others arms never moving away from one another.

we woke up and once again his face was in between my legs, where it should be. we got ready until he had to go to work but i stayed at his house to clean up.

the night was so perfect it makes me want more nights like that with him.. i’m really falling for him especially when he calls himself my boyfriend

[storiesofmebyme]

08/06/22

I’ve always wondered if you will wake up and know this is the day i'm going to die. The answer is no. If you care enough to listen there are definitely signs but you'll never see them through the tunnel vision of temptation. Not until you wake up and have no choice but to face it. The raw, ugly, bitter truth my addictions just won.

I remember it so vividly for someone who was unconscious (dead) for a majority of the experience. He hit it first, seemed so high but fine, right? I pondered the consequences of fentanyl and what I was doing. Too bad the high is right in my hands and I could never say no. Thanks to my bestie, temptation. I cared about what was going to happen to me but not more than I cared about feeling sweet bliss. So I hit it again. Black.

First, I felt the mask on my face, helping me breathe. I’m barely conscious, not awake enough to open my eyes, or speak, or fight. Just enough to know exactly what was happening. Back to black.

Then it happened, my eyes opened. Surrounded by dozens of paramedics and police. Faces everywhere. My heart sunk, hard. I can't describe the absolute shame that flowed through my body. The first words said, “Megan, you just died.” Talk about heart sinking. I just died? What The Fuck. I’m not sure what i thought overdosing meant but god damn that hit. So there I was, laying on a nasty concrete basement floor covered in sweat and shame. Rock bottom is a mother fucker i can tell you that.

The paramedics said “you just overdosed and died” several times before I had anything to say. Finally, I apologized enough times in 60 seconds to set a record. I asked for my phone to call my mom before i could even get the words out a male police officer says “you’re phone is in evidence.” It was like he was just waiting for me to ask so he could inform me of my first punishment. Finally, they ask if i want to go to the hospital and if i can get up. I asked if i should go, while this answer seems obvious, remember im still disoriented. The paramedics wasted no time making me feel less than “i mean you just died so yeah i would go” Well jesus fuckin christ lets get in the ambulance and go then. So, I leaned forward to get up, all i can say is fuck owowowowowow. My chest feels like a stampede just ran across me. All they had to say is “Is it just your chest that hurts? Thats because we just did cpr to save your life.”

I get that thank you so much, a warning would have been nice regardless. So here i am again surrounded by medics and police officers watching me wince in pain struggling to get up. Finally an absolute angel of a lady reaches out her hand. A hand i really fucking needed. I held her hand the whole way up the stairs. I was scared and so alone. With no way to contact anyone I love.

We got to the top of the stairs and I was completely winded so I stopped and said “I need help.” Something I genuinely never ask for because I know better. A plea that had gone ignored for far too long.. What do you know some stupid fucking male paramedic says “were gonna get you some help.” HA what a fucking epitome of my life. So I picked myself up and carried myself out just like always.

Now we're walking out of the house Grant says “I’m so sorry megan”

I didn't say a word. I just walked down the driveway looking at the ground while neighbors watched. Finally, I climbed into the ambulance. At Least I’m not surrounded by people anymore. Then the paramedic unknowingly in the ambulance asked two of the most awful questions he could come up with. The first “how old are you”

“23”

“arent you a little young to be doing this”

Listen bud, i appreciate it but no it was “too young” when i was 14 addicted to adderall and smoking dope by 15. Then he also had the nerve to ask “did you know other girls have died at this same house” yes. Yes i fucking did] they were my friends. I cant understand why i got a chance that they didnt. Why me? Why.

We get to the hospital and they're rolling me to my room and all i can think is this isnt real. There's no way I am getting wheeled on a bed to a hospital room. Damn i really fucked up this time, bad. We get to the room and they have me switch beds. My chest is on fire btw, some of the worst pain I have ever been through. Lets just say for health care professionals they were less than patient and empathetic. More like judgmental and degrading. The paramedic started telling the nurse what had brought me to the hospital. When the paramedic explained the severity of what had happened. I hear him say “ No she was in cardiac arrest for two minutes. She was did not have a pulse when we arrived.” This BITCH the nurse goes “oh Woooow.” Are you fucking serious? I’m in the

middle of understanding and accepting what has happened - alone- and this bitch says woooow?? Hell no find a new profession this one is not for you.

Unfortunately for me that was my nurse for the visit. Fml the punishment really fuckin showed up from the moment i woke up. So the nurse comes back and puts all these stickers all over me to check my heart. They were all over my chest and back. Knowing how many unwanted people had touched me that day made me sick. To the core. The person who gave me cpr was a man.. A man touched my lifeless body. Gross gross gross.

The rest of my hospital visit was really a blur. I woke up and asked for a blanket and the same bitch nurse says “but you’re sweating.” Alright bitch you really need a new job you’re a nurse thats never heard of cold sweats??? Come on now. Everytime i woke up i would ask to call someone literally anyone. I was so done being alone at this point. I needed to tell my family. I needed to tell everyone i loved so i could start feeling better asap. This wasnt a guilt a was willing to live with and I was ready to face it immediately. I knew i would disappoint so many people with my news but I knew they needed to hear it from me.

After many hours in the hospital I’m able to finally call my mom. At the time this is all I truly wanted. I knew my mom was going to make me feel safe. Of course she immediately burst into tears. Little did I know she was on her way back from Chicago and still hours away. So next best option is my grandma.. Oh god my grandma.

I’ll be honest my grandmother is not a quick person never has been a day in her life. She showed up to that hospital, fast. A blessing and a curse. She brought me comfort but it was immediately gone when she started asking for every detail. With every “She overdosed” “She died” and “She's very lucky” i felt my heart go deeper into my stomach. As I realized this is the beginning of alot of disappointment... How did I let myself get here?

Once my grandma was there I was nice and awake. Feeling every emotion deeply, painfully. Then a nurse half mentioned discharge and every emotion turned to anger and annoyance. I was ready to go. Clearly I was ok at this point I wanted my dogs and my bed. Mostly my dogs - my only real safe space. So they

unhooked me from the IV and went to get the discharge papers. I stood off angrily ripped all those little fucking stickers off of me and left.

The ride to my house was surreal. I called everyone immediately important to me and let the rest wait. My dogs were safe, my work dogs were safe and so far no one absolutely hated me. To me that meant i could finally start making peace with what i had done.

I got home and went to bed. And thats all i did for days. I just slept.

T B Continue..