#like is it not obv it s not a het ship

[burning-polaroid]

Woo hoo NBLNB moment <33

Fayi is cute yall are just biphobic

[runaways-withme]

The choices that were made with making harry n audrey get together at the end when harry hasn’t acc seen audrey or talked to her for majority for the movie n ppl were rallying so hard for Harry n Uma since D2 n they were so cute throughout the movie... just say you hate Huma gang

[heeres-suffering]

Be More Alluring: a Personality Swap AU

[pic description and source will be at the bottom of this post, under the read more]

Start of summary:

“You need to be more alluring.”

"... don’t you mean attractive?”

“I do not. Your attractiveness is adequate, Brooke; if you want to mask your apparently latent queerness, you have to make them want you straight. Isn’t that why your step-father defended you?” 

Brooke Lohst is a loser.

But you know what? That was okay.

She always knew she was a weird one. The intensity of her affection for puppies, picture books, and near-constant daydreaming has lasted well-past a normalcy she can’t seem to grasp; when coupled with her inability to befriend anyone (besides the similarly self-identified loser Michael Mell), it’s not a surprise the rest of her peers have left her behind.

However, there were... ah, worse things in her life to worry about then some mild bullying. She liked her passion well enough, and all of her true insecurities went largely unnoticed, so any insults or weird looks rarely lingered in her mind. It’s not like she was a constant target either, which helped a lot. All in all, she just planned to hunker down, wait out the awkwardness of High School like everyone else, and move on to the rest of her life... 

Except.

When Brooke develops a crush on a girl she’s never talked to, after years of avoiding fairy tale romance and trying not to think about the inevitability of marriage (or how finicky her attraction to boys is in the first place), it feels like her whole world is about to cave in. She’d do anything to make sure her parents, especially daddy, never find out... including buying an edible super computer from the loudest, tiniest guy in school.

End of summary.

Alright!

Hi, hello, it’s Mod Seb, and here’s an AU I’ve been rolling around for a few days! You are free to do with this concept whatever you want, but I wanted to introduce it with a good chunk of the info I’ve already worked out in my head.

So. As the CWs are... too numerous, I’m going to go with a blanket “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” label and encourage you not to read the rest of this if you have any big darkfic triggers that could be upset by mere mention; this isn’t a fic tho, so descriptions of anything awful won’t last long. 

Although, I will mention upfront that Brooke isn’t a binary lesbian. I know the description might read like I’m setting her up to be 100% homosexual; she’s bi with a strong preference for girls, and anyone who presents soft enough in gender or appearance. If it wasn’t for the end-game pairings, her unfamiliarity with smaller details/history of the LGBTQ+ community, and general “gay newb” status, she’d likely ID as a bi lesbian!

(ships and everything else under the Read More)

Okay. That out of the way, there’s quite a number of pairings; I’m pretty sure it’s a super polyamorous and sexual AU, though you’re free to change this list as much as you’d like:

[bolded are end-game ships. italics physically hook up at least once. strike-through means they were in a relationship but break-up in some way before the ending. (H) stands for healthy, while (T) is toxic and/or noncon. underlined characters are pining for the other and may never confess their true feelings]

Brooke/Christine (H), Brooke/Rich (H), Brooke/Jenna (H), Brooke/Michael (H), Brooke/Chloe (T), Brooke/her Daddy (T), Brooke/Squip (H), Brooke/Jeremy (soft T at first bc of mirrored canon-compliant manipulation, H later on), Brooke/Squip/Jeremy (H), Brooke/Squip/Jeremy/Rich (H), Rich/Moses (H), [insert every form of Rich/Mo/Squip/Jeremy here] (H), Jeremy/Chloe (T), Jeremy/Michael (H), Michael/Christine (H), Michael/Christine/Mr. Heere (H; no, seriously), Madeline/Brooke (H)

This is, of course, a role swap AU where Brooke and Jeremy trade places based on my personal lore for their home lives. I always have some pretty fucked ideas as I don’t imagine MB is a great place with great adults, and I pick and choose which parts of canons I use and which I don’t. 

There is no definite ending planned in mind as this isn’t an outline; it’s meta (or an imagine or w/e) for an AU that you’re free to do whatever with. 

So,

The big difference is that Brooke was picked by Michael, while Jeremy was picked by Chloe. Jeremy is trans and hadn’t come out yet; if Chloe had known he was a boy, she wouldn’t have grabbed him. In contrast, Michael’s never gave a shit about potential friends genders.

Jer and B’s personalities... are altered some. Not ALL the way, but kiiinda fusing into their roles, kinda tweaked (I'll get back to that).

The main point of this for me was Brooke/Squip/Jeremy, with B/Jer having a MUCH stronger focus than in canon, and a really bad Chloe acting as one of the major villains.

Michael gets roped into Chloe’s shit, even tho he's still generally a good guy here, bc he's worried about B and thinks she can't properly take care of herself.

While B DOES have a strong crush on Christine, she’s the opposite of the Squip’s “goal”; that’s (obvs) masking, or making passably digestible, her queerness.

Her Mom and step-’Daddy’ have reacted to her friendship w/ ‘openly gay moms, also very flamboyant and GNC’ Michael... poorly.

Michael thinks the solution has to be “act as aggressively yourself as you can, and if they reject you, you know me and the mom’s have a space for you”. This works for him bc he’s permanently hyper-visible, what with all of his own marginalized identities. But, not only has she flied under the radar in comparison to him for years, he doesn’t know everything about her life.

In fact, he doesn’t know most of it. She’s very good at hiding things.

Meanwhile, Jeremy, one of the more popular ‘boy... ish’ (we’ll get to this, too) people in school, is mid-psychosis and self-destruction. He actually has schizo-affective disorder--as is the case with all of my versions of Jeremy--which he needs medication for. Combined that with so many bad influences and trauma, he can no longer fully control himself or his life.

The way he handles this (badly) is to ‘whore around’--which, besides being Chloe’s pet, is kinda why he’s so popular. Nobody respects him, but he’s viewed some form of favorably.

Jeremy is in a relationship with Rich, but he won't let him get as close/protective as Rich wants; Mo and Rich were doing their own man-whoring (but healthy, just droppin’ panties and making dudes and chicks swoon--yeah, Rich is out as bisexual, this is a very ‘the Squips are a good thing’ AU) to gain their standard reputation, but in the course of that, they got together with Jeremy and it became... complicated. Both of them are very "nnn" about how bad his life is for Jer.

The way that their personalities are altered is... okay. To explain this, I have to talk about my characterization of canon-Brooke and Jeremy in relation to this, starting with Brooke:

I imagine B as just a liiittle below the line of "all the way there" for sorta-similar reasons to Jeremy here: trauma, and Chloe (which is why that’s what Jeremy gets in this, it’s just WAY worse when compounded by everything else). She’s also--like me, and like almost every character I write as a result--autistic, in a near-permanent state of “not enough accommodations” and over-stimulation. This leads to a lot of dissociation and a very wandering mind, as well as being perceived as a bimbo or dumb blonde or w/e misogynistic bullshit is projected onto her by the boys she dates (she’s also much more down the middle bi outside this AU).

So, going back to how she is for this AU: she's actually not super nerdy, despite the close connection she and Michael have. Honestly, it’s their general neurodivergent weirdness that bring them together, and so she’s mostly adopted her nerdy interests through him, whether directly a thing he likes, or finding a whimsical variant that fits her tastes.

Obviously, unlike Jeremy, she doesn’t mind being called a loser. She does any insinuation she might be queer. This including anyone who calls her gay or a dyke.

She has too much Cis Male Trauma (unlike canon, where it comes from both cis angles) to really entertain the idea of a Traditionally Male Partner. This means she skews HEAVILY towards hard GNC guys at the very least, and generally finds herself most interested in the idea of enbies and women. she's also not super into butches tho, bc her trauma mixing with her sexuality has latched on to Strong Masc People Are A Threat. 

An expansion on her interests, in canon and otherwise: animals, ASMR/sensual service work (including massages and stuff), spending hours just sorta sitting by herself and letting her imagination wander, fairy tales, and YA-and-under fantasy books.

(Here, she tries to avoid het or f/f romance... except that, this past year or two, she’s started really like m/m stuff--esp after getting REALLY into drag shows, which she could enjoy safely since girls like Chloe have gotten into them too; in canon, she’s a romance fanatic)

Now... this is one of the really darkfic element; she's fucking her step-dad. 

She does this so that he doesn't walk out on her, her mom, and her little sister*. Her mom has a good-enough job as a standard office woman, but he makes enough to pay the rent on their nice townhouse and all the bills she can’t. So, after he expressed interest in Brooke and then casually mentioned he could always just leave if she wasn’t comfortable, she reluctantly entered a relationship with him

(* = her sister is currently know as her brother; he’s like 12 or 13, and started showing signs of trans/queerness which have been Heavily Discouraged. Brooke worries about him a lot)

((I didn’t use she/her pronouns bc I’m not entirely sure he would change them? This is an OC Oli created at the beginning of our interest in BMC, and we haven’t worked on him at all since, so how his characterization will be is up in the air))

Canonically, Brooke's "in love" with her daddy, which is a self-imposed delusion; if she actually addressed it, she’d says she’s well aware that’s not true, but it's so much easier to pretend when you’re cornered like that. Brooke’s life blows.

She’s a lot more honest to herself about hating him here; still, she tries to be as polite and generally-friendly as she can, doing what he says whenever he wants.

OKAY, THAT’S BROOKE. If any of that is badly described or potentially-offensive, it’s just bc I glossed over SO MUCH DETAIL, even in that amount of it!

So. Jeremy.

I don’t have to go over him much and we’re all mostly aware of how I feel about him and also I don’t have the energy to do this again--

(just... read my fics The Devil at your Door or hello yesterday or something... eyyy actually do that, my ao3 username is Sedusa, blah blah blah ANYWAY)

--but basically: He's still very nerdy, like, he’s super into film as well as video games (which is another constant for me), but after being largely ignored in elementary, he's been trailing behind Chloe at her orders since they were in 6th grade. As a result he isn't very open about... any of his interests.

In 7th grade, he came out as trans to everyone. Chloe was furious, but at the same time, intrigued; this was around the time Chloe gets her own... ah shit I gotta go into that too--

--yet another hc of mine is that Chloe gets a Squip on accident around this time at a party (there was one in a “”candy bowl””), and from there, she claws her way up the ladder. I... will not go into that much, but her Squip was crippled by the drugs and alcohol in her system, and therefore largely at her mercy. She’s used his power to manipulate certain things about herself and to sharpen her focus on popularity to the point she’s full-blown Alpha Bitch.

Man, I’ve had to go on so many tangents, I apologize.

Anyway, she drags Jeremy around as a punching bag. She constantly mocks Jeremy's transness, even though she usually calls him by his correct name and pronouns.

This has made the rest of the school follow her lead, hence why I said “boy-ish”; he’s popular, he’s technically ‘well liked’, but nobody really takes him seriously. This is compounded by Chloe’s refusal to let him dress in 'dorky' casual clothes, and, as he’s both too poor to afford designer clothes and also generally hates popular guy fashion, he has to wear the hyper femme clothing Chloe specifically tells him too/

As such, people call him a boy but largely see him as either an idiot, a slut, an attention seeker, or all of the above.

So of course, in Brooke's place, his neurodivergence is more prominent than ever; every day he slips further into this psychosis and self-infantilization haze, as his his mom leaving, his dad severely depressed, Chloe's sexual violence, and other repressed trauma (see: my fic hello yesterday on ao3) all weighing on him. This makes him INCREDIBLY regressed, like, all the time by Junior year.

And then Brooke's Squip (IE: canon Squip) falls in love with Jeremy extremely fucking hard. He pushes her to date him as a way to compromise on her queer desires, since Jeremy is technically a boy, and certainly a few other straight-ish girls have hooked up with him in the past.

WHEW. That is a fucking lot. To wrap this up, lemme go over the interpersonal relationships not already mentioned, and what directions I think it takes.

First off, Madeline has a more prominent role, as I quite like her tbh; she’s a sex worker, she has her own Squip, she’s one of Chloe’s most hated enemies, and she gravitates towards both Brooke and Jeremy. She’s also Actually French, Chloe’s just weird.

(Anyway she prolly sees through Brooke’s straight act and asks her why she’s pretending to be a good little cishet. It rattles Brooke.)

Chloe is scum. This bears repeating. She DEFINITELY rapes Brooke at the Halloween party, and becomes obsessed with her, along with already being obsessed with Jeremy and Jake. 

Jake, by the way, has a lot of regressive behavior and impulsiveness bc he’s been in an abusive relationship off and on with Chloe for years now.

Speaking of Jake, moving on to his best bro: Rich doesn’t set himself on fire. He’s having a good time with his Squip.

But.

He IS set on fire at the Halloween party.

Instead of the Smartphone Hour being about Rich's instability, it's actually about the mystery of Someone Did It To Him But No One Saw Who It Was, They Were Disguised.

The answer relates to the fact that Rich and Brooke are ALSO hooking up, after she’s already with Jeremy, bc he Properly introduces her to him and the three of them hit it off really well.

(She initially wasn’t interested, but while Rich is loud and still kinda abrasive, his Squip doesn’t drive him to act like a bully--and in private, his nerdiness is really obvious and he’s extremely gentle with her and Jeremy. Add to that that he’s bi and trans*, when Brooke connects best w/ queer men over cishet one, and it off-sets his masc-ness enough to make him an Exception.

* = I always imagine him as trans. See: all of Vanceypants fics.)

Sooo... the culprit is actually Brooke's daddy, who sees her with this obvious heartthrob and Cannot let that be.

Chloe convinces Michael that the Squips are Very Very Bad and has him team up with her to force Brooke into drinking Red, with the intention to convince him to kill himself after to get him out of the way, bc she’s really going nuts at this point.

Eventually, he snaps out of it when he and Christine get together (he’s thought he was Full Homo all of his life, but Christine’s prolly genderqueer-ness makes him realize “oh shit, I’m bisexual”) and she starts to question why he’s acting the way he is towards Christine.

He also definitely has a crush on Jeremy and during his time with Chloe he kinda tried to flirt a little but couldn’t really... he’s not up for dating someone as sexually active and a push-over as Jeremy is in this.

However, when he snaps out of Chloe’s manipulation, he and Christine approach Mr. Heere to convince him to straighten up and help Jeremy and also bc they really need an adult to successfully fight Chloe.

This requires a month+ of Christine getting him to see her psychiatrist (the one who prescribes her ADHD meds). Jeremy spends the majority of his time staying with Chloe, and very rarely comes home to gather things or to make sure his dad is eating/still alive, as much as he can remember to in his own haze of mental illness. Anyway, point is, he doesn’t know Christine and Michael are there often... not that, in the course of growing close to Mr. H, they both fall for him hard and it becomes one of my stranger OT3s.

(God, Jeremy goes through a lot of shit in this, tho.)

Pre-Squip, Jenna was kinda-sorta Brooke’s friend--or, well, friendly. However, she’s actually full blown “oh my God she’s wonderful” in love with Brooke.

Brooke isn't aware of that, esp since Jenna tries her not to be around her a lot. She's also trying to hide her own queerness, bc she’s a trans woman and she knows Chloe finding that out would be extremely dangerous.

Eventually, Chloe succeeds in making Brooke take the Red months after canon usually ends, w/o Michael’s help. If you’re curious, Red doesn’t affect her normal Squip bc she’s had him too long and a lot of his receptors and stuff are damaged, so it’s the second one she gets in canon that turns off.

This plan backfires, however, as Brooke’s Squip comes back with a physical body w/ help from Rich and also-bodied-now Moses.

With a body, and shenanigans, Mo and Squip take out Brooke’s daddy too. His life insurance more than makes up for the loss of his income, as it’s a sizable amount. Now that Brooke feels more empowered and strong, she overrides her mother’s neglectfulness and takes control of the household w/ her boyfriends*, comes out as queer, helps her sister transition, and begin to heal from all of this trauma.

(* = Rich and Mo move in, as does Jeremy eventually, after graduation; Jeremy gets a psychiatrist and a therapist and prolly has to go through some intense outpatient care and possibly a stay in the hospital, before finally making major breakthroughs and looking like himself again. The five of them are now happy and in love.)

Chloe, after her arm gets twisted by the Squip’s protective presence so thoroughly, gives up on Jeremy and Brooke to focus on Jake. This too gets abandoned when Rich and Mo help him cut her off, and so she stays in her own popularity bubble, bitter, until graduating and going to a community college in a different state.

All in all, things work out well in the end, but getting there is a long, difficult process. This AU fascinates me immensely and feels like a great way to examine some of my really dark headcanons about MB, as I think it’s a town similar to Derry in Stephen King’s IT--as in, just chronically The Worst Place Ever, with this, like, miasma of low-key despair around it. People adjust and don’t question it, which is why so much of BMC is this flippant dark humor in the face of some highly questionable shit.

I’m so sorry this post is so long (I’ll be uploading it to AU under my usual Sedusa account, as metas like this are more than allowed), but I really adore these characters and the way they can be twisted around, so I had a lot to say!

Thank you for reading <3

-mod Seb

image description: virtual-like stairs pointed forward and bathed in neon yellow and blue to represent Brook and Jeremy, which I’ve modified from the original blue-only design.

source: x (link description: a free Wallpaper Flare image that I found off Google Image’s “filtered by ‘labeled and reuse with modification” feature) 

[full-course-identity]

gonna split this between canon character ships and oc-sprinkled ships. we'll start with canon (i also know most of these answer but eh): jeremy/rich, mr. heere/mr. reyes, michael/chloe, jake/rich, squip/michael, squip/brooke, brooke/madeline (STILL COUNTS, SHE'S TECHNICALLY A CANON CHARACTER), squip/rich's squip (in general fanon 'rich's squip isn't mo' situations--i'mma ask about OUR r!squip in the next ask)

HI SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG

Warning: Some of this goes into darkfic territory, and is lightly NSFW/NSFT.

Jeremy/Rich

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell (when this option is italized, it means OTP feelings, not Shipping Them As Problematique)

THIS IS MY FAVORITE ALWAYS-FLUFFY (or the comfort portion of hurt/comfort, or tragic lovers, etc) SHIP. It makes me SO VERY INCREDIBLY happy; Rich and Jeremy have this magnetic chemistry in the musical and in fandom--Hell, I even genuinely enjoy most fanon interpretations of the ship, which is really rare for me (still don’t read much fanfiction besides yours though... >u>; )

Also? Hot. Very hot.

... that was not meant to be a pun but I think it probably is...

Mr. Heere/Mr. Reyes

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell (bolding this one means it is/can be Problematique, obvs)

Platonic H/R? Nahhh. I think portraying both of them as queer is a good idea (Reyes gay and aro, Heere bisexual with a strong preference for women and femme enbys), but it just feels like Mr. Heere would want something else tbh. I mean, Mr. Reyes is pretty openly anti-children during the play, and Mr. Heere really loves his son and his son’s friend. I just can’t imagine they’d have much chemistry if they tried dating

Oh but what if... they were predators bonding over their mutual love of abusing the vulnerable people in their lives... haha jk... unless?

Michael/Chloe

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

This... is fascinating. I’m getting more into bisexual Michael for the sake of variety, and this would be... a very fun ship, actually. Especially if it was the two of them targetting Jeremy together... or, oh, actually, this would be a FANTASTIC companion to a Jeremy/Brooke story, w/ Michael and Chloe playing the villains... hm...

(I just really like playing around w/ evil Michael)

Jake/Rich

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

I’m so torn on this one. I really dislike most Jake/Rich in large, large part to just... the fandom around it... but I can also picture it being really fucking good in NSFW art, portrayed in particular ways (especially if it doesn’t act as a companion to boyfs), or like, if you did it? IT COULD GENUINELY WORK, but I haven’t seen it done in a way I particularly enjoyed.

Evil!Jake on good!Rich is fun, though I’m not suuuuuper into it--it’s a VERY nice change of pace with us, I like it in AUs, but I prefer Jake to just not be involved or else a small blip/one-off mention... or as the metaphorical sugar daddy to shenanigans gfnbhjvgfdfvdjnjvhfk

Squip/Michael

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

... I’m sorry friends, I’m just not interested. I see why it’s intriguing, I can see that it has what-if potential, but I just can’t care. Not even in an OT3 with Jeremy (though Jeremy being in a relationship with both of them separately would actually be pretty cool). 

tbh, if I have to ship the Squip with a human that isn’t Jeremy, I reaaaaaally like your growing interest in his and Rich’s relationship. 

Oh, and...

Squip/Brooke

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

Much as I think Squip is generally boy and nb masc-attracted attracted, Squip/Brooke would be genuinely, extremely, incredibly fucking adorable. I wouldn’t do much with it personally, but this is the sorta thing I’d love to see shippy art and/or an ask blog for if that makes sense?

Fuck dude, Jeremy watching his Squip come back in a body just to fuck his ex is the funniest shit ever tho, he’d be so disgruntled.

Brooke/Madeline

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

[insert heart eyes emoji]

Even though we’ve generally portrayed Mads as het-but-fools-around-a-little, this is probably my other Really Good Brooke Endgame Ship right next to Brooke/Jenna. I just feel that like... their chemistry, both how we portray it plus the canon stuff (“implied sluttiness” and the way Brooke thinks she’s so cool and tries to model herself off her) is. Mmm. Mmmmmm. 

Plus, not to be all My Autism Makes Me Hyperfocus On Other Character’s Autism, but like... their autistic peculiarities would line up fantastically? Imagine them cuddling and like... touching each other to stim...

squip/rich's squip

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell / additional category: I’m genuinely unsure because I’ve only seen hints of how other people portray Rich’s Squip

So the thing about Rich’s Squip in the fandom is that like... outside the occasional character design making a brief appearance in larger prints, nobody really talks about them?

I mean. Okay, granted, I haven’t read enough fanfic yet (... God I really want to eventually, I’d just like a Handy Guide for Who Is And Isn’t An Anti and also I keep going “okay but x character would never be like that” even though that’s wroooong and I don’t seem to have that issue in visual media and....... you get the picture), but after... 2017? After the fandom’s first explosion died down, people rarely talked about R!S. 

I think this was a direct reaction of the Anti movement finally making the solid change to fandom landscape it’d wanted to, unfortunately; this found a swift and sudden tidal wave of backlash to most Squip (primarily shipping) related anything, seemingly killing ALL Squip content that was not sufficiently “briefly used for boyfs or JakeRich angst” enough for a good long while.

Eventually, the growing rise of a sub-fandom around Squip thirsting and Squip redemptions (attempting to be ~untainted by gross shippers~, usually) started around the time badlydrawnBMC started to really pick up steam along with a few selfshippers, inspiring people to Squip-ship in an “acceptable manner”.

The problem is, none of this has affected Rich’s Squip--at least, not yet. The kinda people scared of (or that are) antis have “no good reason” to redeem Rich’s, since “she” (he/they at the beginning of BMC fanon, widely-used she now) did or caused stuff way more egregious, IE the fire, making Rich a bully, and stifling his bisexuality. As a result, there’s a very subtle, unspoken pressure not to really... use her much. 

Jokes are... mostly okay, but there’s a huge preference for Kermit!Rich!Squip if you do.

Anyway.

From the little bit we hear of her in actual canon, Rich’s own words and her brief voice and stuff... I could see her being much colder, possibly meaner then Jeremy’s Squip, probably. They probably have a dom!bottom/sub!top abusive slave relationship. She makes Rich fuck her while mocking everything he does, and then seduces him and promises a little bit of love when he tries to refuse. He would be hopelessly devoted to her, desperate for her approval, and she’d string him step by step. By the time he realizes how well and truly fucked he is, it’s too late; the last stand happens, they fight in front of everyone, and it all goes up in smoke.

Thanks for the question! Hopefully the next doesn’t take this long @_@

[aximili]

X, Q, E

oooo i didn’t think i had any ocs starting with x but i remembered one from ages ago actually..... i had a story called After Life abt a kid trying to redeem his soul after he gets sent to hell, it was a bit all over the place tho and i scrapped it. although recently saw there’s a netflix show of the same name w ricky gervais and still managed to be annoyed

Full Name: Xanthe (if she had a surname it’s gone from my memory omg)

Nicknames, If Any: Xan

Hogwarts House: slytherin

Gender: female

Sexuality: bi

A Song I Associate With Them: hmmmm.... That Man by caro emerald

3 Important Relationships: WELL i only remember 2 other characters she knew, tbh this world was never well-developed

-ransom, he’s her very officious & stuffy angel rival who she ends up having a weird hate-fling with

-there was the main kid whose guardian demon she is (oh yea she’s like a guardian angel but the opposite. encourages u to be bad.) but for the life of me i don’t remember his name lol. once i had developed RanXan as concepts i got distracted by their s*xy little rivalry. yes it’s all terminally het, i was like 14

2 Fears: she’s been (well, not alive, but around) for a long time so she’snot scared of much. she’s a very cocky person and embraces being the bad influence, especially to annoy ransom, bc on the surface she’s like, well this whole heaven/hell divide is bullshit, people aren’t just one thing. but i think deep down she’s afraid of the idea that she really is bad. and afraid of what happens once she fades into irrelevance in hell and stops getting assignments but still has to carry on existing

1 Element of their backstory: i think she was alive way back in Biblical Times - obv she wasn’t called xanthe then but chose her own name. she was a serial liar and said that god was talking to her in order to get things she wanted. but she died young, like everyone did

Q - oo i DO have one Q oc! he’s from adrift, my pirate novel that i will one day finish

Full Name: Queryn Smousk

Nicknames, If Any: idk if anyone calls him a nickname. they mostly just don’t refer to him. 

Hogwarts House: hufflepuff

Gender: male ? hm

Sexuality: gay

A Song I Associate With Them:  bottom of the river by delta rae

3 Important Relationships:

-rictor avis: queryn is a generic sailor on the pirate ship, rictor is the surgeon/carpenter for the crew, he’s a huge tall crow man, and is equally or perhaps more creepy than queryn. they hang around together and give everyone weird vibes. rictor is mute & queryn isn’t, but he says very little out of choice (he doesn’t speak the main language, idk common or whatever, very well) but they like to sit in the crows nest together in silence most hours of the day when theyre not working. everyone even their crewmates thinks they might be up to some weird shit. their dark secret? theyre just a cute couple.... they just like to hang out. they bonded with quiet, intense looks when queryn was first rescued dying in the swamp and brought on board and rictor mended his wounds. it was tender. absolutely nobody else knows theyre a couple even tho they don’t keep it a secret. theyre just chill

-garran korrash: garran is the bosun and is a literal/figurative grizzly old bear, and as well as being queryn’s manager he’s one of the only people who he’s really chill with. garran was the one who insisted they stop n help him out, and queryn’s been grateful ever since. he doesn’t say it bc he hardly says anything, but he shows it in hard work

-sonya perlace: like almost all of her crew, queryn would die for captain sonya. he comes from a pretty harsh society where the strong survive, and even tho he never quite fit in there, he really respects sonya’s strength & leadership.

2 Fears: even tho he’s a pirate his biggest fear is drowning since he nearly drowned before. he has a lot of nightmares about it. he’s also creeped out by elliot. cause what the fuck even IS that?

1 Element of their backstory: p much the only backstory he has is that he was part of this society of amphibian/lizard people in the deep swampy area of the continent that’s cut off from the rest. he was out hunting but got badly gored by a huge aninal (idk what, like a Bigger Lizard.. theres always a bigger lizard) and couldnt make it home. he started sinking into the bog but couldn’t pull himself free, then the area began to flood with torrential rainwater and he cried for help. luckily sonya & garran happened to be trekkin through the jungle and heard him

E - has to be elliot, the little bastard supreme. i played him as a dnd character with an altered backstory but i’ll use the adrift version

Full Name: elliot (no known surname)

Nicknames, If Any: nope

Hogwarts House: slytherin

Gender: male

Sexuality: probably bi? he only a teen though and being surrounded by furries hasn’t had much chance to develop any feelings on the matter

A Song I Associate With Them:  mariner’s revenge song by the decemberists

3 Important Relationships:

lol 2 of the 3 are fully hatred relationships because this young man has iiiiisssuuuuuues

-sonya perlace: he acts the begrudging deckhand who’s resigned himself to his life, but he is 100% devoted to eventually killing her. she killed his mama and he has been waiting for his moment ever since, he’s even had opportunities to leave the crew but has stayed so he can keep close to her. it’s fully like, would have a picture of her with daggers & darts in it, if he had such resources

-niphea perlace: niph is the captain’s daughter, the first mate, and the reason elliot’s still alive - she persuaded sonya not to throw him off the ship along with his mum. he has understandably mixed feelings abt this, and he rarely shows it, but she’s always been an advocate for him and treated him fairly so he does like niph more than anyone, despite himself. also she’s his closest in age on a ship full of adults. he.... tries not to think abt the fact he plans on killing her mother in return cause that’s a bit awkward isnt it

-aidan moss: quartermaster aidan doesn’t like things he doesn’t understand, and he doesn’t understand what elliot is, so he goes out of his way to be awful to him, tending to delegate his own jobs to elliot at every chance he can get & generally insulting him. elliot tolerates it bc he has to. but make no mistake this dude is no2 on the kill list

2 Fears: i don’t think he has a lot of fears because he’s already been through some of the worst things imaginable. i don’t even think he precisely fears drowning/dying at sea, because he’s been focused on the image of how his mother died for so long, & imagining doing the same to sonya, that it kinda no longer affects him?  but he also saw his dad die over a long period from wound infection and i think that must have made a traumatic impression on him, so i imagine he’s probably at least repulsed by decay/rot

1 Element of their backstory: so elliot is the only human character in a world of animals basically... i mean this is major novel spoilers but when tf am i ever gonna finish that.  he comes from a very remote island of remaining humans, descendants of the few who survived nuclear disaster a long time ago. when he was small he and his parents were exiled from the island for breaking its rules (yea, as tends to happen w small isolated communities, things got over the top cult-y) and sent out in a tiny boat to fend for themselves. his dad died slowly while they drifted in the ocean, and he and his mum were near death when they were picked up by sonya’s crew, who were like what the fuck are those??? they kept them in the hold to discuss what to do w them, but elliot’s mum, thalia, tried to break free, attacking niph when she came with food. as punishment sonya made her walk the plank, and that’s where it all went wrong yknow. woops this isn’t 1 element is it. oh well 

[jamlocked]

I need to rant about Fleabag because it’s genius. First, Claire, because ;sdlfkj. And then THAT MOMENT between the Priest and Fleabag at the end of 2x03.

Spoilers below the cut.

Okay, so Claire...honestly, is it just me who finds her painful to watch? I mean that in a good way. The acting’s stellar, the writing’s stellar (no surprise there), and I just want to...I don’t even know. Shake her, and tell her it really can be okay if she just unwinds a bit. Or get her really pissed and remind her that she cannot always have been so uptight. That bit in 2x03 where, standing in her enormous office in the midst of her obviously successful career, she angrily lets it slip that she’s envious of Fleabag having a cafe and being able to do what she wants...augh, honestly, it’s painful. Someone who ‘has it all’ (but omg, her husband is the worst, and even the creepy stepson knows she should leave him), and gives speeches about how being happy is something you have to really work at...I just feel so sorry for her, it hurts. It’s a masterclass of someone desperate to be happy and thinking they can have that by ticking all the right boxes, and actually knowing that they’re locked in a cage they’ve created for themselves. The only times she’s human are those occasional moments she connects with her sister and is honest with her...and then she immediatly shoves her away in fear of it. Just... please relax, Claire. Please. And leave your husband. And for the love of God, shag the Finnish dude because you need it.

THAT MOMENT THO. Okay, I have read two interpretations of it on Twitter today, and both differ from my own. (I’m obvs talking about the bit where The Priest notices her breaking the fourth wall and talking to the audience, in case anyone who reads this incoherent mess (you’re very brave) isn’t sure)...ANYWAY.

1. Someone said they thought it was because she was making an actual human connection and therefore was starting to not need her dialogue with us anymore. Which could be valid, seeing as I don’t think there’s anonther season planned (P W-B said she had no intentions to do a second one even), but I don’t think it’s just this because there wasn’t any indication that she was losing the inclination to talk to the audience. 

2. Another person said it was a moment where she realised she was talking to God. Because her asides to us, the audience, are her innermost thoughts and the Priest could tell when they were happening. Which sort of ties in with my interpretation, which was... 

3. I thought it was because he sees her like we see her. He knows her like we know her. She tells the truth to us, and he sees the truth in her -  and it’s impressive really, because we have the benefit of her telling us herself and he just gets it instinctively through the little time they’ve spent together. So maybe it’s just a clever way of showing that he sees her, but I love the layer of her possibly talking to a higher power...which, as a self-proclaimed atheist, means the power she’s talking to could be intepreted as...you know what, I’ve tried to write out my thoughts on that but I can’t make it make sense and it gets convoluted, so I’m just going to leave it. 

But anyway, Fleabag and the Priest have obviously formed this connection and she’s falling for him, and probably him for her even though he says he’s not going to do anything about that physically...but it’s such a lovely thing to see, this friendship even as it is at the moment. Because man, she needs friends. And her...idk, surprise  at how much she likes him and how well they get on, it speaks volumes about how little faith she has in herself and her ability to get on with people at all. Which makes it all the more heartwarming to see her looking for something deeper with the Priest, even if she’s telling herself she just wants to shag him. 

Of course, I fully anticipate the Priest falling to pieces by the end, or something like it. I described him to someone as fragile in the first ep, right from making a ‘joke’ about being ‘really fucking lonely’ - and there’s clearly some issues with his past he’s not talking about. The only times he really seems secure is when he’s actually talking about the priesthood as his rightful place, so on that score, I hope he and Fleabag don’t become a disaster and get it on. At the same time, I’m shipping them harder than I thought I could ship a het couple these days. Augh, they’re just so compelling together. The chemistry. Everything about it. s;dfkj

Okay, that just basically turned into a rant about how much I love Fleabag, but I’m alright with that. As you were.

[rainbowravioli]

!!! I just realized card captors could have made Yue (eventually. Since obvs there’s a decade age gap. But this was also the 90’s and antis didn’t have a foothold) and Sakura get together. So often there’s a het pairing where we have a gay person have an intense, heartbreakinh, unrequited love for a main. They like to dangle the het couple in front of the gay person, often with the (un)spoken implication that its a gays fault for falling for someone str8. And the lesson is for gay (1)

People to just. Not fall in love. And if we do its our fault. But instead CC taught us that some hets will get crushes for gay people and they (*gasp*) have to accept that they wont have their love requited. Yue got to be happy, and with another man. It wasnt some random made just to fulfill having a gay ship. Its something we saw constantly, and it grew. It was refreshing. Thats probably the only time Ive seen a het person have to face the incompatible sexualities deal. And the gay person (2) wasn’t blamed. (3)

I think it’s extra interesting that Clow actually intended that exact scenario of Yue/Yukito and Sakura getting together, possibly since Yue was in love with Clow, he was hoping those feelings with transfer to Sakura as Yue’s new master. But Yukito fell in love with Touya. 

As for Yue and Touya’s feeling for each other, those remain very Clamp style ambiguous and I think also depend a lot on how much do you see Yue and Yukito as separate individuals or as sides of the same coin.

And the whole Sakura >>> Yukito thing is something that I think was handled extremely well in the series and I’m very thankful. Cardcaptor Sakura wasn’t my first media portrayal of a a gay relationship (shout out to Sailor Moon for that) but it was he first to handle such a situation as the Sakura > Yukito > Touya love triangle the way it did (also it showed Syaoran crushing on Yukito too and that was seen as totally normal and I don’t care about the ‘it was magic’ explanation, boy had it bad and is super bi).

[serenagaywaterford]

#5 - been reading your story on AO3, obviously I can’t dissect and analyze it like you and your friend (great read too, btw), but I certainly can appreciate greatness. You are the quite the wordsmith! And, sorry Chuck doesn’t seem to land for you as much as it did for me. But I agree HMT is a far superior show, and Serena has become one of my very favorite characters in just 2 seasons. And

One more stellar season out of her (hope I didn’t just jinx it), she’ll probably overtake Sarah Walker as my all time favorite (I am partial to her, brings me back to simpler times in my life). Btw, who are some of your favorites, I am curious...

-------

NUMBA 5!! :D Howdy! :) Aw, bb, there is absolutely no requirement to dissect and converse about my fic in the way @acosineofmadness and I do. It’s just far more convenient to do it there rather than here (IMO anyway! Tumblr is crap for actual back and forth discussions and I like we both just like the ease of AO3′s comment system.) and please never feel like you --or anybody else for that matter-- has to go that hardcore ;) It means a lot just you leaving me a note here just like this :DDDDDD Thank you so very, very much!! You’re a sweetheart. Oh, Chuck. Here’s the thing about Chuck and me. I’ve now got to 3x03. I am glad I gave it more than just the pilot cos the pilot was... not... good. LOL. I was immediately turned off by the whole “socially awkward nerd boy can’t go to a party” thing. I mean, I’m personally not into geek humour or watching it so I was like “Oh, god, please don’t have the entire show be like this!” And Sarah was like so... Meh. At first. It seemed very het male in tone for me. (It never totally shakes that, but it does seem to fade a bit.)

BUT I will say it gets a little addictive in a sense especially since that whole awkward nerd thing isn’t so prevalent. And I honestly didn’t think I’d ship a het pairing but here I was shipping the shit outta Sarah/Chuck. My biggest hurdles were the action. I’m just not into combat stuff and there is a lot of ...kicking? LOL. And the other thing was it was fun in the sense that it was like every fanfic trope onscreen every episode. I’m not knocking that at all! It’s a fun little thing to see on screen so many of the tropes, and all in one place, episode after episode. You've got spies! Fake dating! Highschool reunion! Stakeout! Sharing a bed! Stuck in jail! Kiss before a bomb! etc etc. In a way it’s campy and clever. And I’ll fully admit some of the humour is spot on. I legit laughed out loud at points.

I basically zone out any time it’s not about Sarah, though. She is clearly and undeniably the best character on the show :D If it’s just the Best Buy guys, I don’t care. Especially if it’s the pervy misogynist guy. I do like the way they dealt with Chuck’s sister and her beefcake doctor boyfriend. I liked how they DIDN’T take it the usual route and he’s actually a decent guy and the sister doesn’t leave him for the “weird best friend”. Kudos to that. 

By the end of S2 however, I was out of patience for the slow burn “will they won’t they they can’t!” Sarah/Chuck thing. I guess I’ve just seen too many TV shows at this point that drag out the UST forever. (AHEM. X-Files.) Just do it or stop. That hotel morning scene was like a HUGE relief. Thank fucking god already. I loved it. 

To me, it just jumped the shark though with the finale of S2 and I can’t quite get back into it. WHY DO I DO THIS?! I can usually make it through a few seasons of a show and then I’m like, “Um. No.” IDGI. Just Chuck being some amazing martial arts spy was... like... I can’t. I also don’t think I can deal with another season of the Will They Won’t They thing. I’m too old, lmao. And I love angst, but I don’t like being purposely teased haha.

That said, I’m not saying I didn’t like it. I was entertained, especially watching Yvonne. And Zachary Levi is good too (tbh I’d only ever seen him in Alias Grace & Ms. Maisel). It just, for me, as someone who was RIDIC obsessed with The O.C. (so who am I to ever judge anybody else’s tv shows lol) back in the day, it was a little too much like watching Seth Cohen’s wet dream lol--down to the exact same soundtrack. I mean, it’s not surprising considering who the writers and producers are lol. Although, omg, the OC alums made me smile. (2 of my faves from that show!) 

I liked it I just don’t think I can continue for the rest of it. Too much fight, not enough kiss, lmao.

All that said, I can see very much why people love it so much. It’s nice. It’s not to horrible and dark, and it’s not super cheesy, and it’s not super confusing to follow. It’s like a feel good sort of show with good acting.

In terms of favs? On Chuck? Sarah obvs. And I quite like Casey. I’m pretty indifferent to everyone else. Or did you mean fav characters overall in all shows?

I think THT and Chuck are vastly different shows but to me the production design and thematic structure alone in THT surpasses ...well, most everything else on TV. And the acting (save maybe one or two actors) is just miles above. It’s much darker and thicker content to chew on, so it’s not surprising that good actors thrive with that sort of meat in the script. It’s deep, it’s difficult, it’s dark, and they all shine in it. For me, that’s just more my kind of show. And I was actually pretty surprised at how fucking quickly Serena/Yvonne became my favourite considering I’d never seen her in anything other than Dexter (although I barely remembered that. I’d totally forgotten and I was like “Who is this actress? She’s amazing! And a friend was like, “Um, she’s from Dexter, remember?” and I was like, “No...?” LOL (But as they gave a few more details I did remember her character)), and Serena is terrible lol. I just love her more and more, the more time I spend considering the character.

I hope we get a few more seasons out of Serena. KNOCK ON WOOD. I can’t see Yvonne not acting the fuck our of the role, so that’s a safe bet but... as for Serena still being a fascinating character--that’s up to the writers and sometimes I don’t have faith in TV writers lol. I hope they continue to drag Serena down into the shit and have her learn things and suffer and sacrifice her own selfish needs for others and become a better person for it. I just hope they don’t go full-on villain with her. That would be a shame. Big loss of potential. I can’t see my own fascination with the character fading if they keep up the quality and direction they set up in S2, especially. 

[intelsought]

Okay here’s my post-season thoughts. Major salt tw like so many others in the rpc/general fandom. Some of these were written before I started watching due to having spoilers, some are being written as I watched. These are all my thoughts specific to me, not looking to get into arguments with anyone over them. Read my thoughts if you want but don’t @ me over them.

-I don’t like the Allurance that got shoehorned in. Never have, never will, I think it was handled/written/spaced out poorly to say the least and I wish for the sake of Lance and Allura’s characters that they’d left the romance off the table completely. I truly think they did a disservice to what could’ve been even bigger & better growth for both characters to have not ended up together whether Allura’s final sacrifice happened or not. I have so much more I could say about this but I’m leaving it at this summary of ‘thanks dreamworks i hate it’. -I’m extremely sad that the main face to face Sheith interaction was during a group briefing and the Allura celebration dinner, and it lasted all of twelve seconds total. After all the emphasis put on their mutual bond in the Black Paladin’s episode, that’s a letdown whether you ship it or not. -Coran being an Allurance cockblock was hilarious and I would’ve enjoyed that whether I liked Allurance or not. Bless Coran for being best space uncle. -Catch me in the club loving that Colleen & Pidge screentime together seeing them be mother and daughter. -As a Plance shipper I’d be lying through my teeth to say I’m not disappointed by that outcome after a lot of what seemed like solid foreshadowing and hints from VA’s themselves. Allura’s death was not how I wanted to see Pidge have any kind of chance with Lance (no rhyme pun intended). They all deserved better than this, no matter what the reason was for Allura’s sacrifice. Watching Pidge trade her video game that she wanted so badly to get Allura a dress for a date with the boy she liked (idc what anyone says to try and change my mind, I’ve been convinced for far too long that Pidge has harbored feelings for Lance for a long time) absolutely broke my heart. You could see the hesitation and pain in her face before she said ‘just take the game’. -Also bless for some kind of interaction with Lance and Hunk’s family. I love them all even if they’re minor side characters. -Veronica having any romantic interest in Keith is so so random to me and I thank Lance for veto’ing that hardcore. I’m not against het ships at all obv but that one was so out of left field I wanted none of that. -I love all the flashbacks to Lotor’s childhood and early adulthood, even if it’s very late I’m happy to see his backstory get fleshed out and also see more of the backstory with Honerva and Zarkon as a couple. Good story content that I actually did ask for. -I had a heart attack when Cosmo attacked the superweapon. Would’ve been so upset if he’d died. Was sad we literally never saw him again though the entire season. -Pidge’s face the entire time on Olkarion breaks my heart. It truly is a loss that Olkarion was destroyed and Reiner died too but I’m glad we got closure on that if we had to lose them. -BAE BAE SCREENTIME MAKES ME SO FUCKING HAPPY. -Also more backstory on Lance’s family makes me so happy. -I love seeing Axca interact with Garrison members. Also more Iverson screentime he’s still cool in my book. -”Oh what I’d give for a GPS right now” PIDGE I LOVE YOU LMAO -Axca showing more concern for Keith’s well-being than Shiro is again, extremely disappointing. Freaking Veronica did more to save Keith than Shiro did. Again, thanks Dreamworks I hate this. -Hella glad we got another Atlas transformation. I still love the Atlas no matter what anyone says about it. -SAM DEALING WITH SLAV IS HILARIOUS! -Allura crying over Honerva’s blackmailing her for Lance’s safety than when she destroyed Alfor’s memories in Crystal Venom. I smell more bad characterization no matter how she feels about Lance. On screen Allura is not a cryer. -KINKADE SCREENTIME I’M SO ABOUT THIS. -MORE BAE BAE SCREENTIME!! -Nadia in the 47th Day episode is freaking hilarious I love her sm. -All this Bae Bae screentime makes me so damn happy have I mentioned that recently?? -Hunk is a fucking ball of sunshine and I love him sm for going out of his way to try and reach out to the colony Altean’s. -The scenes with the OG Paladins is also wonderful. I’m actually very happy that Zarkon got a mini redemption arc. We didn’t ask for it but I’m not unhappy about it. -I still think that Allurance adds nothing of value to the plot to make it better. After watching 11 episodes I still don’t care for it and seeing the plot get closer to the end I think it doesn’t add any significant importance to the plot. Call me Kanye because I’m shrugging at my lack of change in opinion. -I’m disappointed that Matt played such a minor of minor roles in this whole season. Especially when we got some good Colleen & Pidge content, I wanted to see Matt contributing to the family dynamic. -Baby Lotor rejecting Honerva is the sickest burn that’s happened this entire season and I loved that. -I appreciate the tie-in to 80′s Voltron with Chip and Pidge. Little easter eggs like that I can enjoy. -Literally fuck that ending. Pidge’s is the literal only one I did not despise.

[janiedean]

I have a question. So it seems that a lot of people in secret like omega verse fanfics, but I have seen a lot bashing it or even hate it. In my personal opinion I find it interesting and like to read it, but why in ur personal opinion a lot of ppl dislike it, and if you don’t like it, why?

errrr I’m in the group that doesn’t like it mostly because

I’m not... into... I mean, I like stuff to be regular. the whole concept of knotting and stuff on HUMANS kind of freaks me out

the consent issue can be... very... well, THERE IS A CONSENT ISSUE and honest there’s nothing in a/b/o that can’t be done in a regular d/s au where the d/s is a biological imperative without going against the laws of physics

a lot of it is mpreg and MPREG IS SO EW TO ME I mean no judging but pregnancy is already a turn off for me when talking about 90% of het stuff around (unless it’s specific ships but pregnancy is not my kink), but a guy getting pregnant is... like... guys if you want your m/m otp to have children can’t they adopt? idk man it’s not my kink at all and I read a few and let me tell you, dirty talk discussing breeding is not what turns me on

also to me it makes no sense because then how does it work with alpha women and omega men? like I know soulmate fics also don’t make sense scientifically and a lot of other things don’t in fanfic but honest if summed with the above it just makes for a picture I don’t care for

also 80% of the time the roles are... kind of straight up, I mean taller more muscled guy is alpha and the tinier guy is omega and... man I actually tend to not ship stuff in those terms I mean the times I’ve had fics where I can’t read the two people in reversed roles from my headcanon for top/bottom the bottom always ends up being the tallest more muscled guy so like... it doesn’t even match my usual dynamic

honestly I think that it’s a mix of people being freaked out at the weird science/buildup, not liking mpreg or how it shoeboxes people into the a/o thing and so on, but it’s not exactly everyone’s cup of tea the way idk fake dating aus could be. *shrug* obv a lot of people deconstruct it and I read ONE that I liked (out of desperation bc it was my cinderella sherlock ship and it was one of the few consistently good writers we had xD) but the rest is utterly meh to me XD it’s not an easy kink I fear XD but I mean no judging if people enjoy it, as long as I don’t have to write it it’s not my problem XD

[bookofmirth]

1, 16, 26 🤓

Hey! Thanks for the ask :D

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get? So this is prob a super unpopular opinion, but I don’t really get still having feysand as an OTP. Like I ship it, but… it’s not the most interesting thing ever? At least not anymore. I also don’t really get lysaedion or manorian. But I don’t dislike them. Just don’t get it.

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change? Oh, so many things. There would be less het ships. The books would be feminist in the sense that the female characters have agency on their own, not agency that they are granted by a male. There would also be a lot less of the hyper-masculine, territorial behavior. (but also the territorial thing I kinda get like I am lowkey like that even with my friends so) And the mating bond, that probably wouldn’t even be a thing.

26. Most shippable character? LUCIEN. LUCIEN NEEDS ALL THE LOVE FROM EVERYONE ALL THE TIME. He is good with everyone. Also, Mor. I ship her with everyone, excepting anyone from the Autumn Court of the CoN, obvs, but she is wholesome and pure and wonderful.

salty ask list

[carolrance]

I saw this thing. I’m answering this thing... even though nobody asked.

So, I saw someone answering this and thought it was sorta cool but I don’t think people will respond anymore so I’m just doing it myself. Self love, ya know.

Talk about the first ship you ever had. Uhhh… I can’t remember which came first Mulder & Scully or Usagi/Mamoru. (The latter being really icky to me now that I’m older, lol.) I think it was Mulder/Scully… I was in primary school for both of these so it’s confusing cos that was a really long time ago.

Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life. Mulder/Scully (The X Files). I honestly don’t really feel like “talking” about them cos I don’t think it’s very interesting. Also, I have no idea where to begin. Naomi/Emily (Skins) – I fucking can’t stand them now, to be completely honest. I actually sorta hate Emily. By they (and Skins in general) did have a rather huge impact on my life. Now, I feel like I should put Dany/Doreah but really I think more importantly in terms of my life, it would be Marissa/Alex from The O.C. Does that sound stupid? Maybe. But that pairing (as shitty as they treated Alex and the whole relationship by the end) had a fairly huge influence on me. I think it was my first femslash ship that I was totally open about. (I totally shipped Jo/Rachel (and Jo/Rachel/Paul) from S Club 7 (DON’T EVEN!) but back then I didn’t even think it was serious…even though I had a whole website about it, lmao.)

What’s your current OTP? Oh my… Dany/Doreah forever & Marg/Sansa (ASOIAF/GoT). Michelle/Naomi (Skins). Carol/Helen (Episodes). Amanda Rollins/Olivia Benson (SVU). (With a bit of Rollins/Lindsay on the side. SVU/Chicago PD). Niska/Astrid (Humans). … So… Like… A lot? A lot of old OTPs are still OTPs now? Bo/Lauren (Lost Girl). Meg/Veronica (Veronica Mars). Katniss/Johanna (THG). Lou/Tess (Lip Service). Quinn/Rachel (Unreal). Jessica Jones/Trish Walker (Jessica Jones). Virginia Johnson/Lillian DePaul (Masters of Sex)………I think even my few het ships I’m still not totally over (Chase/Cameron, Mulder/Scully, Martin/Sam, etc) but I mean, I don’t really care either.

What’s your current NOTP? Any of the above characters paired with men. Simple. I have a lot of nOTPs tbh. Most canon ships are NOTPs lmao. Although… I guess Patsy/Delia is a current NOTP of mine. Don’t shoot! I just don’t care for them. They are boring to me.

Do you have any poly ships? I was sorta into Marissa/Alex/Ryan (The O.C.). I started a fic about them. And the aforementioned Jo/Paul/Rachel.

How do you feel about love triangles? Lazy. The thing is, they’re a real thing. I’ve been a bunch and they’re just uncomfortable. No matter what, somebody gets hurt. I just feel like in TV/films they’re SO LAZY. An easy way to create drama for drama’s sake. And one faction of fandom is always upset. And usually they’re really shoddily designed so it’s like one girl, 2 boring ass boys fighting for her WHO WILL SHE CHOOSE?! BLAH……. Boring. “The triangle’s not a friendly shape, okay? It’s pointy. It’s got edges. Triangles hurt people, man.”

How do you feel about RPF? Nope. I’m a bit of a hypocrite cos I spent a great deal of time in my childhood sorta straddling the very thin line here with the whole S Club 7 thing. And, I’ll admit, I did enjoy this April Pearson/Lily Loveless fic once.

Have you ever shipped yourself with a character? No. Usually my favs feel a little too relatable which is why I’m attached to them, not cos I wanna bone them. Also, way too much drama. I mean, fictional characters are almost always exaggerated people.

Do you have many ships that never got together at all? All? LMAO. Okay, let’s see… Sam/Martin did, briefly (Fuck Without A Trace tbh. What a horrid little show.) Chase/Cameron were together and that ended badly as well. Carol/Helen, also ended horribly (so far). Mulder/Scully… that’s difficult. They’re difficult. Marissa/Alex, ended horribly. Naomi/Emily, technically… hmmm. Well, as of S4 they were back together but I didn’t buy it and I pretty much loathed Emily by that point so fuck em. That ended badly too. It ended horribly if you count S7–which I don’t cos I never watched it. If I didn’t see it, it didn’t happen. Bo/Lauren. Okay, this may be the only bright light in all my ships, lmao. They were together and then not, then together, then not, then END GAME. So, I guess the ones that never got together??? Basically just look above at my OTPs and see all the ones I didn’t mention here ending horribly lol.

Do you ship any characters that have never met? ONLY THE BEST ONE: MICHELLE/NAOMI.

Talk about your favorite first kiss. Like in canon onscreen? Or in my head? Big diff. Chase & Cameron maybe. I loved that episode. Mulder & Scully’s first (onscreen) kiss was a bit weird. I don’t remember Sam/Martin tbh. Hmm… Marissa/Alex was hella stilted and awkward prolly cos it was on FOX and like Mischa Barton is a terrible actress. Bo/Lauren’s first kiss was pretty good. Yeah, I really liked that one. Mostly cos it didn’t fade to black immediately (ahem, Carol/Helen) and it wasn’t set to ‘I Kissed A Girl’ (Naomi/Emily)… Okay, in fairness that was only the American version. The one I saw had Lily Allen playing instead… But still. I loved that episode but it wasn’t the best first kiss I’ve ever seen.

Have you ever been disappointed when your ship finally got together? Yes, when they get together only to end even shittier. Which is basically all of them except Bo/Lauren.

Has a ship ever broken your heart? All of them. Canon and otherwise. My heart breaks on a regular basis.

How do you feel about will they/won’t they? Ugh. Useless. Generally, it’s queerbaiting when it’s my femslash OTPs. When it’s het, I’m just like, “As if these two lonely, outrageously attractive co-workers wouldn’t have banged already. Like, give me a break and just do it already. Who believes this shit?”

Have you ever “shipped at first sight”? Lemme think… Probably? I can’t actually recall any specifics however. Not Mulder/Scully, I know that. The first time I saw them, it was New Year’s Eve and I spent the entire show huddled on the sofa in my friend’s basement with her and her cousins, shaking and screaming, lmao. The X-Files really isn’t great TV for easily scared children with big imaginations, lbr.

Talk about a ship you initially disliked. One that I like now that I disliked previously? Erm. None. I don’t flipflop on ships, lbr. It goes like this: I am oblivious/indifferent to ship, depending. I see ship. I ship ship. I love ship. And it’s only then that this can diverge. Either I stay in love forever, or I end up positively hating the show/pairing and I stop shipping it, or it just kinda dies out over time. Normally it’s the first or second, rarely the third.

Talk about a pairing you’ve stopped shipping romantically. And now just ship them only as friends? Or stopped shipping them and dislike them now and don’t want to have anything to do with them? The latter is clearly Sam/Martin. I just hated how the characters were written and the show was fucking awful after S3. The former… Ah, the former. I think this really has to be Naomi/Emily. I am 1457% Naomi/Michelle, no alternatives accepted. Naomily is toxic imo. Like so incredibly nope. I am -100000% Naomily. I stopped shipping them mid-S4, probably during Katie’s episode. I was just like, “Nope, this is pretty gross and not healthy and what the fuck?!” I gave up completely at the finale when it was so fucking stupid. I think by then I’d already had my Michelle/Naomi dream… Anyway. Like, I literally cannot handle Naomi/Emily anymore. At most, I can deal with them as friends. But even then, sometimes I wonder if writing them that way in my fics is pandering in some sense. It’s not intentional pandering to Naomily stans… but, now I look back and wonder? They’re just so awful together romantically. I shudder.

Talk about a moment which made you question an entire ship. Hmmm…. Carol/Helen in Griffith Park in 4x09 when she makes Carol give back her bra. That whole episode was really nasty and really awful and not funny at all. I really dislike the writing there. It was just… Helen was just disgusting really and it made me really uncomfortable about shipping it. I have other examples but it only asked for one.

Have you ever shipped something despite yourself? She-Ra and He-Man. I had no idea they were brother and sister when I was little but I thought they were cute together. Oops. It wasn’t until a few years back when I mentioned them at a party and everyone was like, “Errr, you do know they were twins, yeah?” NO. I DID NOT.

Talk about a ship you feel alone in shipping. Carol/Helen. I feel like the few people that shipped it with me on tumblr here were really turned off by their breakup. And also, it’s been on hiatus forever. Also, I suppose Claire Dearing/Zara Young from Jurassic World, lmao.

Is there a ship you just don’t get, but have nothing against? Most het ones? Like, just… why would you be with that puffy wonderbread boy when you could be with this other hot lady and have 10003x times more chemistry and interestingness? (Like I mean, I’m totally talking about Erin Lindsay and that gay dude she’s fucking, when it would be so much better if she was with Rollins, lmao. You go watch the crossovers episodes and tell me I’m imagining that.) Other het ships, I have definite things against the men.

Which of your ships have the best chemistry? OH GOD. Now, ermmmm…. this depends almost exclusively on my own headcanon/bias so obvs others aren’t likely to agree. Cos, well, Michelle/Naomi have hella chemistry LMAO. Like just look at this photo. Clearly. Okay, seriously… Bo/Lauren. Like hands down, undoubtedly.

Which of your ships deserve better writing? Every single one of them. Especially Dany/Doreah lmao.

Do you mostly ship canon pairings? Clearly not.

Have you ever shipped a pairing before you even started watching the show/movie simply because of gifs and graphics or similar? Skins. Lost Girl. Actually, hmm. I saw gifs of LG but I guess it wasn’t until I saw Zoie Palmer at a film premiere I went to that I was like, “WHO IS THAT?!” And then I realised I had to start watching that programme.

Have you noticed a pattern in your shipping? Is there a romantic dynamic you’re more drawn to? Blonde/Brunette. Like, it’s really obvious. But not 100%. Otherwise, I don’t really see any substantial patterns.

Is there a ship you’ve shipped for most of your life? Mulder/Scully.

Does shipping come easily to you? Neither here nor there. If it clicks, it clicks.

Do you need to ship something to really enjoy a movie/book/tv show/comic? Most of the time. But then sometimes shipping gets in the way of my enjoyment cos it becomes all about the pairing.

Name a couple of fandoms in which you have no ships. Fortitude? Honestly… I don’t even know. I watch a bunch of TV I have no particular interest in shipping anybody. Oh! Here’s one NASHVILLE. I honestly do not care who’s with whom. It’s irrelevant.

Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love. Dany/Doreah – Doreah is alive. That’s it. That’s the headcanon. (And bonus, Dany takes Doreah to Lys and burns down the pleasure house Doreah was sold to as a child.) I have to add that most of my fav headcanons revolve around one half of my OTP still being alive. Which is both sad and really telling. (Like… Doreah, Margaery, Naomi, Meg, Marissa, Lillian… Ouch.)

Share five must-read fics. I’m trying really hard not to rec my own shit cos I just love my headcanons too much. Okay, here: They Will Crown You, They Will Take Your Legs by (Netgirl_y2k); tie your handlebars to the stars (and throw away the map) by (majesdane); my heart is gold and my hands are cold by (quinnking); If you’re gonna shoot me down, do it gently by (aphrodite_mine); I Can’t Get Out Of Love (a love i had a grip on; now it’s gripping me) by (doreah) hahahahahahahahaaaa i will do whatever i want when i want to force this pairing on everyone

Name your favorite fanartist(s). IDK??????????

Share your favorite fanmix for your OTP. Dany/Doreah: actually… oops. my fav fanmix for them is on my ipod and nowhere else lmao. it’s really good hahahah. anyway… um. so i’ll choose one that’s not mine: i’ll send a storm (most of mine are either doreah-specific or based on my fic which is a lot of headcanon and this one has excellent musical choices. that first track is killer.) Meg/Veronica: song of solomon (your poetry in motion) Chase/Cameron: i’m all second chances Michelle/Naomi: can’t get out of love Bo/Lauren:  it’s killing me, it’s killing you, a page from the book of my fantasy

Recommend 1-5 shipper blogs. Pass. I don’t even know any…

Do you create fanmixes/gif sets/fanart/fic/fanvids and so on for you ships? Used to. Obvs.

Do you have a favorite trope and/or AU for your OTP? Half of it not being dead.

Do you like and use ship names? I generally stay away from them unless I to find stuff/want people to find my stuff on tumblr. I find them cloying.

Is there a fictional relationship you’d really want for yourself? Hell no. Real life is difficult enough.

If you could change one thing about your OTP, what would that be? They would all be alive. Sensing a pattern? Also, being canon would be nice.

[permetscore]

1, 4, 27

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

oh most kakashi ships other than kakagai for sure. obv most het ones. uhhh sasuke with anyone but naruto tbh like does he care? no. at least not in any rly serious context. OH i also think shisuita is weird dkjghdfgh

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

oh outside kind of annoying ones like i listed in 1, mostly just like. Problematique ones like kakasaku n shit. age gaps and incest etc etc. OH ALSO IF I HAVE TO SEE JIRAIYA/TSUNADE ONE MORE TIME IM GNNA DIE

27. Least shippable character?

i could say a lot of things but ill go w the obvious jiraiya mostly bc 1. shipping him w women is evil bc no woman deserves that and 2. shipping him w men is homophobic bc hes just. hes not

ty!!