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#like ive been thinking abt this for a few days now nonstop
lovecrazedpup · 5 months
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do you ever find yourself over analysing a comment he made off handedly
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dayurno · 2 years
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okay so listen. about my taylor angst kandreil au. this isn't posted anywhere? i literally only write this for my friend and then we scream about each other's writing in our whatsapp chat. also, and that might be the more pressing issue, it's entirely in german cause, you know, i am german. i only started writing in english when i started writing smut cause ew, can't do that in german, but taylor came before that so. there's that. i am sorry, i would definitely let you read it!!
ALSO thank you SOSOSOSOSO much for those new years day snippets i am going to COMBUST????? this is. so them i wanna SCREAM AND DESTROY SOMETHING preferably myself
on reputation kandrew: i just wrote an entire thing about king of my heart kandrew cause
your love is a secret i'm hoping dreaming dying to keep???
the end of all the endings, my broken bones are mending???
i totally agree on your dress agenda, i have been listening to it nonstop these past few days and this is SO kandrew. may i offer you call it what you want kandrew as well? because:
my castle crumbled over night, i brought a knife to a gunfight, they took the crown but it's alright
loves me like i'm brand new
he built a fire just to keep me warm
all the jokers dressing up as kings, they fade to nothing when i look at him
OKAY this ask got way too long already, so i am stopping now, but i think you get what i mean. my kandrew brainrot is bad, and i adore it.
(one last thing.
my reputation's never been worse so you must like me for me)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, time to learn german i guess ........... even though i am fundamentally against european languages on every aspect. "dont you speak portuguese" yes, BRAZILIAN portuguese, do not compete where u cant compare!
REPUTATION IS SOOOOOOSOOOSOOOO KANDREW ESP PRE-CANON ive been playing with the idea of a pre-canon long fic for a while now and i was just thinking abt how much reputation would Fit. i feel like it has such a slow romantic pace and has all that tension of liking someone a Lot but not it just being a very chaotic moment all around............ call it what you want specifically imo is just. LIKE IT DESCRIBES KEVINS FALL FROM GRACE SO WELL.. my castle crumbled overnight / i brought a knife to a gun fight / they took the crown but its alright? AND LIKE. AND!!! and i dont know maybe i just got issues but i have a thing about kevin praising andrew. i feel like he is a person whos as quick to scold as he is to praise (seen in: everything he does with neil) but with andrew specifically, when kevin thinks hes done good, andrew will know bc kevin isnt shy about it! so when she says shit like "my baby's fit like a daydream" its like. I DONT KNOWWW HONESTLY but something just clicks in my brain at the thought of kevin feeling that way abt andrew
also i know i know i know..... I want to wear his initial / On a chain round my neck, chain round my neck is not the most healthy thing to say about a man but. i think something i hold dearest to me is the idea that under deals and promises, after all is said and done, what andrew most wants is that the people he puts so much effort into choose to stay with him Willingly u know? not because of coercion or fear or necessity but because they really want to stay w him. and i feel like, for kandrew specifically............... isnt that the biggest thing? kevin being his because he really really really wants to be, and not bc he needs to be. (nicki minaj voice) i got issues yeah bitch i got issues
anyway hehe ahem. my apologies for the just as wordy reply
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necromycologist · 4 months
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rating 'fantasies' songs by their tlt vibes
recently i got really into this album and ive been listening to it nonstop and i got the urge to make this post so behold.
Help I'm Alive
we open with a BANGER. the whole heart motif beauty of existence thing is very tlt in general but "if we're still alive my regrets are few/if my life is mine what shouldnt i do" feels like it could be ntn cam+pal perhaps. 6/10 for general vibes not really going anywhere specific tho.
Sick Muse
i could see this as a convo between gideon and harrow. "pull your little arrows out an let me live my life" she WOULD say that about love... ily harrowhark necro'mancer nonagesimus lyctorway keep sticking your middle finger up at preps. but the main event is "all the blondes are fantasies/we looked at them eleven ways/you said look at me then looked away" like i dont even need to explain this one. YOU SAID LOOK AT ME THEN LOOKED AWAY the orpheus and eurydice the betrayal the hurt why wont you eat me please please consume me why are you saving me sorry one sec. ill shut up about greek myths now. 7.5/10 that one lyric saved it for me
Satellite Mind
this song is so strange and offputting it has to be about our favourite little bone nun <3 its givin htn harrow "i can feel you most when im alone" um the body the body the body "flashback of a feeling/sixth sense of a calling" its the love! that they couldnt take away!! 6/10 because i think that the dreamy freaky what the fuck is happening are suuuuper htn however the actual lyrics arent super close
Gold Guns Girls
i want this song to be about ianthe tridentarius soooooo bad... i want it to be about our favourite perpetually thirdweeling failgirl so much... like ive never wanted anything else ever oh my GOD... "i remember when you were gambling to win/everybody else said better luck next time" underestimated at canaan house anyone? anyone at all? no takers?? no??? 3/10 because despite my deepest wishes this is just a good song thats not about gay catholic homestuck 😔
Gimme Sympathy
slightly ironic gtn griddlehawk at its finest. "get hot/get too close to the flames" oops! now ur her cavalier "wild open space" gideon-gettin-shocked-by-days-on-earth-emotional.png "talk like an open book" not with that vow of silence. idiot. "sign me up!" shes not signed up haha "ill remember someday all the chances we took" not after the lobotomy u wont lol "we're so close to something better left unknown" cough cough LYCTORHOOD. 9/10 manifesting kiriona giving harrow sympathy after all of this is gone in alecto
Collect Call
hiii ntn fans i prommy i didn’t forget abt u! this one goes out to the psychosexual mess of role playing and bad meals enjoyers <3 "i know it's a lie i want it to be true/the rest of the rot is riding on you" oh boy like i said psychosexual mess... pyrra dve my beloved "wishing you could KEEP! ME! CLOSER! IM A LAZY! DANCER! WHEN YOU MOVE! I! MOVE WITH YOUOOOOOOOOO" oh lord nona placing her hand on cam's shoulder like palamedes would. oh lord being so close in one body and yet a second apart. 8/10 should be higher but i started Having Feelings about nona's death again and couldnt finish listening to the song
Front Row
this is a john song if I’ve ever heard one. “burnt out stars they shine so bright… all of us” is def. giving lyctor vibes. (just children playing with reflections thinking they were stars grauauauagh etc etc) plus plus “he’s not perfect/he’s a victim/of his occupation/social insulation/secret intervention” like fuck dude he really is!!! pilot that president around ordinary dude fuck the world up with your good intentions!!! 10/10 this song is the brainrot undying the kindly prince of my lyctor brainrot
Blindness
besties ngl i am INCREDIBLY torn on this one,,, on one hand “what it is and where it stops nobody knows/you gave me a life i never chose/i wanna leave but the world wont let me go” goes crazy hard. like harrowhark ‘cursed to keep living’ nonagesimus? hello is that u? on the other hand the whole opening sequence of this is very blood of eden coded… 5/10 this song has a very Character Energy about it but i think i must accept that that character is probably not a tlt one
Stadium Love
ohohohoo! here she comes!! this song IS about canaan house like the whole thing n nothing will convince me otherwise. "wanna make a deal/angel versus eel" hm im getting gideighth betrayal vibes from this "rabbit versus dove" WHAT DID I SAY colum get back here your government assigned fursona is in the song "owl versus dove" uuuuuh this can be about the sixth being cool basically whenever because sixth -> wisdom -> athena -> owl. idc that they live on mercury fuck off. the blorbos may be smart but i dont have to be. btw camilla hect if you read this im free on thursday night and would like to hang out plz respond and then hang out with me on thursday night when im free. u can bring your necromancer too if yw. "every living thing pushed into the ring" duel time every (necro)man(cer) for himself "guess you thought you could just watch" go on enforce that cohort order judith! it wont backfire at all haha! "NO. ONES. GETTING. OUT" well. uh. none of them are. plus cant you just see the Character Portrait Flashes AMV Moments to the wooowooos?? cant you??? "without STADIUM LOVE" the last time they say this w the beat drop it should be gidedeath cytherea duel epic timez and then the echoing "love love" at the end is harrow waking up and mouthing The Three Syllables TM. 11/10 somebody lend me their animation skills please i would be sooo epic and responsible with them i have a Vison...
in conclusion thx for listening to my deranged ramblings (if anyone actually does.) please go listen to fantasies its so so good... message me and we can brainrot thru it together xoxo
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dammitjameskirk · 5 years
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my ex bf lived in my house for like 4 yrs (3 yrs past breaking up with me) and this past week he went psychotic and now hes gone and everything feels bad and i dont know how to feel bc most of me is just petrified hes going to come back but another part of me is so... so sad? hes gone? and i feel awful abt it and i miss him (why couldnt he have just been good? why couldnt things have worked out simply or cleanly?). and then another part of me is just... relieved, bc it means its almost done, almost over? like hes gone... which is what ive wanted and needed for years at this point but was too scared to do anything about... but now hes gone and the house feels empty and dead and hes mentally unwell and im worried hes going to wander back somehow and break in trying to get anything he left behind (like his dog, shes... doing her best right now but shes so scared and anxious just like me) and im scared... im petrified and im upset and i dont know how to exist like this yet and i just... want him to be okay but i dont think i will ever be able to talk to him again, safely or realistically, and right now everything makes me think of him like a sour taste in the back of my throat, and a fierce jab of panic.... he broke off of reality and screamed nonstop for three days abt star trek, the matrix, doctor who, nature, the united states, and literally anything else that briefly connected in the weird serpentine mc escher existence of his brain and hearing anyone raise their voice makes my skin crawl, i cant listen to certain music bc he blared it 24/7 for the last few weeks of him being here (especially the last 3 days), and i cant listen to anything that talks abt space or reality or mental health or... or anything, rly, nothing fantastical in any way bc i just get scared (what if he was right? what if there is no coincidence? what if... what if he meant something with his words....) and its so uncomfortable, im so uncomfortable, i want to peel my skin off and i have to keep stopping myself from crying bc i dont feel like its appropriate or fair and i dont know how to exist right now (im so lonely? i dont know how else to describe it) its too quiet, i just wish i could talk to the old john, i want old john back, im just so.. so sorry......
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gumdecay · 6 years
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#had a dream my bf invited me 2 a part w a bunch of his friends but was already there when he invited me & then avoided me the entire time..#we mustve been there 4 hrs or more and i only saw him 4 like 5 minutes in the middle of it & then he said hed b right back n just.. wasnt..#like thank u 4 this brain its exactly what i needed after him ignoring me most of yesterday n not texting me Nything today :')#it was the clearest n most detailed dream ive had in a Long Time n im just :') i woke up thinking 'yeah its time 2 be done w this' like.....#ok ig.. this is fine :') he's been sending me songs every day n when he doesnt send them i ask 4 them bc he was the one who suggested it rig#ht so that shld b ok right? but ive had to ask the last 3 or 4 days n he'll usually send them right after i ask but i asked last night aroun#d 9 and he just.. nvr responded.. n i had texted @ 5 too n he nvr responded 2 that either.. but nyway i feel gross n guilty now 4 asking lik#e evn tho it was his idea i feel like im Making Him Do It n hes probably annoyed abt it :') lol :') n he usually texts gm if he wakes up ear#lier than me but he didnt today and now its 2.30 n we havent talked n like.. i wldnt care except we talk every day at least a little so :')#i feel like he just. doesnt like me anymore. lol :') n like im annoying him n taking up too much of his time lol :') like every time i text#him lately (like the past 2-3 weeks lol) he just responds so short like he just says me too to almost everything i say orjust gives such a#short response n we havent had any.. Actual Convos except one of the songs.. but thats one convo in like 3 weeks other than that we just.#like say gm gn & Maybe a few texts in between but not actually talking and uhhhh its killing me lol :') i feel v unwanted lately and on the#off chance i bring it up he feels bad n says his time is just taken up so much during summer but like.. its the end of september.. and i hav#ent seen him except for 5 minutes in the morning Once last week & before that was just dinner & a quick fuck in my room like.. idek how long#ago.... lol i checked it was aug 12.. was our last date n after he fucked me he like jokingly said i cld convince him 2 do anything n then#he saw my face drop n was like 'no i wanted to tho' like :') if u wanted 2 i wldnt have had 2 convince u :') lol :') n ive felt sick abt tha#t p much nonstop since :') esp bc he hasnt like. sexted me or responded 2 mine At All since then or i think not evn b4 then for like maybe a#week or 2?? which mkes me feel evn more like i pressured him into something he didnt want which is uhhh :') disgusting :') of me :') lol :')#but yeah like. we havent spent the night together since. maybe the beginning of july? if not then it was all the way back in june like :')#its killing me n i asked him the other day like how hes so good @ dealing with it and he said like. 'im not i just have no choice.. my time#is completely taken up lately' which is true bc he works all week n then on the weekends is getting his new house updated n ready 2 move int#o so. ok. i get it. i Understand. but its literally killing me not 2 b able 2 see him or evn rlly talk 2 him nymore like i feel. very hopele#ss abt it n i cant evn ask 4 reassurance bc he doesnt. rlly live up 2 what he says a lot. which like theres always a Reason but uhhhh it sti#ll sucks lol n it makes me feel rlly sick n nauseous n part of me wishes we'd nvr gotten serious n it had just. stayed a paid relationship#lol :') i wrote in my journal a long long time ago like when i first realized that we werent gnna see each othr all the time i said st like#'i hope this doesnt last 4evr bc im gnna start resenting him 4 not giving me his time' and guess what happened!! lol!! like we didnt get 2#spend vday or my birthday 2gether bc he was working n 4 my birthday he said hed make it up 2 me (like w/o my asking. he just said it unpromp#ted) n then brought it up like A Lot in the following weeks but we just. never did anything. n he eventually stopped saying it n then nothin#g evr happened which wldve been fine except He was the one who said hed make it up 2 me?? so like?? n we'd originally had plans 4 the weeken
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galimatios · 4 years
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sci-fi au again but it’s some bastardized blame au feat. my twins
thinking about a bastardized blame au that borrows the setting of blame but with some minor differences, aka humans weren't dead for as long and silicon lifeforms are part of a disease that turns pure humans into half synthetic life, aka go feral go crazy some retain intellect tho, and pure silicon creatures are fully sentient and intelligent but im thinking of a society in which android labor was widespread, but bc humans were wiped by silicon corruption, there's huge populations of androids w/o purpose humans do still exist but they're not pure, most of them have varying levels of silicon corruption as well as varying resistances. it does grant these humans superhuman strength or healing though i kind of. wanna put rey and ray as twins in this au as bounty hunters aka humans who hunt down corrupted humans who've gone too far... but they also do odd delivery jobs and stuff likelihood is that they've been alive for Way longer than humans should be due to their own corruption they remember what life was like before things went to shit ray owned a restaurant and rey owned the bar on top of it as siblings they went thru hell together and back and this was their dream and. well. then shit changed but also aesthetic bc: rey with short hair, tank top, sci-fi ass gear and army boots she's also the Slightly Older twin and holds this to ray all the time they argue. Nonstop. sometimes they cant stand eachother bc dumbasses both have strong aggressive personalities but (and ive been thinking abt rey w a sibling for a while) at the end of the day they trust eachother bc they both had the same shitty mom and survived. they can do anything, they're Them? but the scourge... well. they're always upbeat. they have eachother after all, but sometimes when they're alone, ray gets nostalgic. a little wistful, a little sad "it was nice while it lasted, huh? not even a full ass decade, and everything came tumbling down." legs hanging off a ledge, the smell of cigarette smoke "wonder how dom's doing." rey doesn't want to talk about her. she steals the cig from his mouth and puts it out. "that shit ain't good for you." "the fuck? you smoke too you know." but rey's already leaving. neither of them know if dom survived. ray lost a best friend, rey lost a lover it's been two hundred years, maybe more. if she hadn't shown up, dead or alive, she's probably gone but the thing is, the megastructure is huge. so vastly huge and confusing, anything can happen. ray thinks one day she'll show up. dom is tough. she's out there somewhere. (END PROSE) also i just love the idea of rey being a heavy firearm user and she just has a huge laser cannon strapped to her back at all times ray thinks weird flex but ok he probably uses a device that resembles some sci-fi spear/rapier thing but it channels electricity so on his command he can roast shit and also override / destroy power structures as needed. both of them have mechanical skills, can hotwire stuff, they're too dumb for hacking so they usually just try to physically brute force shit (aka... hitting it until it works) ray... leather jacket and gloves. NOTED THO: organic materials are really rare and are either salvaged or synthetically created instead. so this is like fake ass bioengineered leather from one of the few bastions of semi-human life, a big city within the megastructure that's where rey and ray live... they actually do want to start a restaurant again but. i think they've sworn off it until they find out what happened to dom, bc she's the only person they've ever trusted with their dream so until then, bounty work ok wow i kind of love ray w a fucking. black electric rapier spike thing + black gloves and black jacket, leather fucking pants, DANGER BOY!!! then rey loves firearms but sometimes she JUST PUNCHES SHIT. SHE'S STRONG!!! fingerless gloves for the girl. cries I love my redheads
KEITH PROBABLY. WOULD BE A TRAINEE BOUNTY HUNTER/SCOUT AND PROBABLY HAS A MASSIVE CRUSH ON RAY LMFAO. ray is like lmfao (puts hand on head) u are So Short keith: kkkdjdjsjhdhdhfnfbfbfjgjfjfj rey voice god you have bad taste keith follows ray around like a puppy who wants to be helpful and ray doesnt particularly mind as long as he doesnt get in the way. but its like. this video (youtu.be/TJAqwSmbKJc)
SORRY KEITH HE LIKES HUNKS AND TWUNKS BUT UR TWINKISH TWUNK AT BEST but ray has a soft spot for him once keith proves he's actually super capable at his job puppy gets head pats god i wanna stick all my ocs in this au now jonah would be s service android who used to work for a family he really cherished but they were wiped out. so now he just. kind of drifts. AI technology is self learning so i believe at this point androids have largely gained sentience and semihumans treat them like one of them alister.... heh. fuck. i really want him to be an antagonist actually but a kind of misunderstood one. he's definitely the root of everything. he is probably the progenitor of the scourge and is a human mind implanted into a fully silicon body. who KNOWS how old he is in actuality he was a sick, dying child whose experimental treatment went horribly wrong but this silicon body is stronger, faster, better. he feels no pain anymore. he can walk and run. but he's also immortal. and he can't be with humans bc contact with him is toxic humans with weak resistances died immediately once the plague started. so all the humans left are those who resisted full corruption they went after the source of the plague, intending to kill to stop its spread but even when they did get to alister, they couldnt kill him and boy they tried! took him into labs and did horrible things! some succumbed to the plague from overexposure to him but nothing seemed to stop Alister decided he had enough, killed everyone in a haze, left, then decided to make silicon lifeforms he was lonely! all of them are precious to him and every time a hunter kills one, he mourns semihumans who become fully or mostly corrupted he considers part of his family too GOD I COULD MAKE AND PORT SO MANY OCS cade is about 60-70% corrupted. he's definitely in alister's ranks i gotta think tho bc i do want one pure human with the net terminal gene. probably hidden somewhere in one of those cryosomething freeze tanks idk if i have an oc pure enough to fit the role i gotta check my roster TO EXPLAIN THIS. you need the gene to access the netsphere the netsphere is like an evolved form of the internet that's sort of like heaven and also controls some things in base reality, like the robots that are in charge of automated construction of new structures- these have gone haywire which led to uncontrolled growth this is just canon material but my addition is that once alister went full silicon, he also unintentionally became connected to the netsphere without any real authority to do anything, but the system still detected a breach and it locked Everyone out after alister infected them originally only those of pure genetic pedigrees possessed the net gene haha i love caste systems but now they're all fucking Dead. i imagine life wasn't GREAT before the scourge but it was better than a semi-post-post scarcity environment where some places are uninhabitable so you have silicon life out hunting humans to protect alister, or just for territory, and security systems that have been tripped and now safeguards are running around killing everything that moves safeguards are like antivirus programs but like. in base reality
GOD ALISTER GROWN UP BUT LIKE EVIL AESTHETIC. ALL BLACK EVERYTHING. he definitely has morphing skills, he can connect himself to technology and easily control it bc hes not organic, innocent boy is now twisted and sitting on his throne of black, corrupted human bones truthfully though alister just... wants to successfully turn more humans into silicon so he can make friends and be happy it's sad that they don't usually survive. hundreds of years of loneliness dulled his moral compass the silicon close to him feel like they're not enough they are hideous but fully sentient and intelligent with the same emotions as humans but ig to alister it's not the same. he still loves them but. he truly was human in the past in the end silicon can't truly replace flesh alex... is a high level safeguard with sentience unlike the low level automated ones that attack everything fuck ALEX OF ALL MY OCS TAKES THE PLACE OF KILLY IN CANON THE FUCK he'd probably operate differently tho. way more compassion
"once i find the net terminal gene, most likely the system will begin to purge all impurities. any and all corrupted will likely die. ... but i see no reason to shorten the life of a man already dead." this includes the humans with resistances. people like rey, ray, keith all resistant humans are <50% corrupted. they cannot be allowed to live bc there is a chance exposure to toxic materials or alister will continue the process but i think alex would change his mind and try to find a way to cure it using the net terminal gene he makes friends with the bounty hunting group, aka keith and the twins... and eventually they will find dom and. oh god what if dom is 80+ percent corrupted what if they have to put her down I AM MAKING MYSELF UPSET
BUT FUCK IT WPULD BE A GOOD CATALYST FOR ALEX TO CHANGE HIS MIND ABOUT LETTING ALL THE CORRUPTED DIE AHHHHH also alex in an all black suit with a little cyan neck ribbon I LOVE MY OCS SORRY I ALSO LOVE BLAME AND SCIFI FUCK ME UP anyway i think im done for now but ughghfjgh im thinking about this for days
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