#like just say you're a band that tours when you need some money

[demibats]

been thinking about richbuisnessman!eddie and how he would spoil you with gifts and jewels and different types of jewelry and clothes and accessories until one day he decides to get you an anklet with his initials on it and you surprise him one day buy putting on the lingerie he bought you a few weeks ago and putting the anklet on and everytime he hears it jingle while he’s thrusting into you he gets harder and rougher until youre both wore out 🤭🤭been thinking about doing a short fic on this but i would die to see your spin on it 👻👻

MY MIND IS REELING HOLY HELL. so i def took some creative liberties with this one because i wanted to stay true to eddie’s character, so in regards to him being a rich business man, i changed it just a bit 🤭 this has also been sitting in my ask box for probably near a year, but here ya go!!! changed it juuuuust slightly bc i believe that eddie munson is an absolute munch and eats pussy for his won pleasure. enjoy!

content warnings; smut (if you're under 18, do not interact!), fem terms and anatomy used, oral (f!receiving), eddie eating pussy because he loooooves it (and yes this needs it own tag), slight dom/sub dynamics, use of 'sir' as an honorific toward eddie

Eddie Munson is a modest man. With a wallet and dick that fat, you're surprised. Most men would be shouting from the rooftops of their penthouses that they're loaded, throwing hundreds at the dozen strippers they order every other friday night, just because they can.

But Eddie Munson isn't like that at all.

He doesn't live in some monstrous mansion or picturesque penthouse, he doesn't own six cars or a private jet. He isn't the kind of man to have a different girl in his bed every night, ones that really are only interested in him for his money. He's always been a gentleman and shot them down politely, but still met with a drink being thrown in his face or some uncalled for insult.

When you met him, he didn't give any indication that he had money. He wore a faded Dio shirt tucked into a pair of black slacks and a matching suit jacket. His thick fingers had scuffed silver rings, one for almost each of them. He had the most unruly curls you'd ever seen on a man. He flashed you a smile from your spot behind the bar, a toothpick hanging from the side of his mouth as he raised his glass in your direction, the men around him making comments about his boldness. From that moment forward, you were mesmerized.

The most difficult part about being romantically involved with him, was the gifts you'd receive from him. Eddie was very straight-foward with his wealth, he told you on your first date, to the exact same bar you tended. He told you he had toured with local bands from his hometown as an instrument and audio visual engineer. He made calls to different tour and musician managers to see if he would be able join their road crew. After a few years of life on the road, he managed to open up his own music shop. That's when the big bucks started flowing.

Despite knowing that he has more than enough money to spoil you with, you're still bashful and hesitant about accepting them. Hell, when he asked you to move in with him, you declined it almost immediately, not wanting to seem like you were financially leaning on him in any way. Even after you began living together, you maintained a 40-hour work week at the bar for some time.

The first gift, more like gifts, were beautiful bouquets of flowers he'd bring home to you. You'd be at home, curled up into the couch cushions with a paperback folded in your hands and in comes your darling boyfriend, ringed fingers curled around the green stems of another bouquet. Every Monday, he comes home from work with a fresh bouquet to replace your old ones. "To cure your Monday Blues, dollface," he'd say.

Then came the clothes. Every weekend he offered to take you shopping, saying something along the lines of, "Maybe we'll find something from one of those magazines you seem to actually read." Within the first month of living together, your portion of your shared closet took up the most space, at least a 3/4 ratio.

You feel beyond special, never taking his gifts for granted, especially since you're more than aware he knows he doesn't have to. He always tries to play it off, explaining how gift giving is just his love language. You might actually believe him, considering he gets his friends outrageous gifts as well, but it's different with you. There's a dark glimmer in his eyes when you tear back the paper encasing your newest present from your beloved.

Behind a deep maroon wrapping paper, lies a small white box. The name across the top of the box in golden script is of a jewelry shop you recognize. And it's not a cheap shop either. Lifting the lid off the box, your eyes flick up to meet Eddie, who's smirking, arms folded over his chest while a hand cradles his chin.

Once the gift has been revealed, a small gasp escapes from parted lips. It's a dainty anklet, sterling silver. As you lift the jewelry up by careful fingers, you notice the hanging letters. A less-than-subtle 'EM' charm hanging from it. It's also in a script font, making the 'E' look like a backwards '3'. A small gemstone sets between the initials, a beautiful cut ruby.

To say it's beautiful is an understatement. It's gorgeous, only something that Eddie Munson himself would think to be a perfect fit for his sweetheart. "Whaddya think?" He asks, though he already knows how you feel, more than confident at his gift-giving abilities.

"Eds, I love it. It's perfect, thank you," you chide, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips as another form of 'thank you.'

It isn't until Eddie decides that the two of you are going on vacation in Santorini that you ever really wear it. It's too ornate for every day wear, and a small part of you fears that it'll somehow slip or snap off and you'll have lost it.

Laid out on a reclining beach chair, you're soaking up the midday Grecian sun, shades perched atop the bridge of your nose and a mimosa in hand. The rental Eddie snagged for your two-week excursion was straight from a resort advertisement. The modern advancements made were stunning, but the architecture was true the city. You'd never imagined being sprawled out in front of a heated pool overlooking the beautiful seaside.

Aside from one of the many bikinis you packed for the trip and your sunglasses, you only had on the dainty anklet purchased by your lover. It settled against your skin and caught the sun's rays, making it shine.

"Look at you," you hear Eddie from over your shoulder. You hadn't heard him come outside, but the soft breath against the side of your neck made you jump, "spoiled rotten."

You can't help but snicker at his comment. He had made you this way with his expensive gifts, how could he judge? You decide to lean into this role of the 'spoiled rotten brat' he so lovingly teased you with, "What could you possibly want that's more important than me enjoying the sun?"

He knows better than to take the comment seriously, a small smirk tugging at his lips as he stands up from his crouched position, stepping to stand in front of the sun, "Wanna run that by me again, sweetheart?"

You see him now, in all his glory. Long curls pulled back into a bun, strands creeping out from either movement or humidity, you aren't sure. A pair of black swim trunks hang off his hips and a Metallica muscle tank has been pulled over his tattooed torso, the ink etched into his arms still exposed. Good enough to eat.

Pushing your shades up on top of your head, you roll eyes at him once they're visible, "Ugh, you're blocking the sun, Eddie."

The metalhead raises his hands in defeat, a small smile on his features as he steps to the side, allowing the sun to once again be soaked up into your pores, "Alright, alright. No need to get feisty. Come inside for a while, I made lunch."

Even though you felt assured you'd won whatever playful battle was at hand, you weren't sure you were ready to drop the facade. Though, you were getting hungry, and if Eddie cooked? Your mouth watered at the thought.

"Fine. But because I'm hungry, not because you asked." You taunt as you swing your legs off the chair's recline, sliding your feet into your sandals.

Following him inside, he opens the sliding glass door for you, like the perfect gentleman he's always been, before following you through the threshold, sliding it shut behind him.

As the two of you enter the kitchen, your eyes land on the empty stove and countertops, eyebrows knit together in confusion, "Eddie, you said you-"

You're cut off by Eddie's fingers digging into your hip, backing you up against the marble counter top. Lifting your gaze up to his, the breath is nearly sucked out of you at his imposing stance in front of you, "I might've told a white lie," he mumbles, eyes glued to where his hand meets your flesh. His fingers slide underneath the thin band to your bottoms before allowing it to snap against your skin, "but then again, your attitude needs an adjustment."

Even with his tone bordering on mean, he leans in and catches your lips in a passionate kiss, taking his time. He can taste the freshly squeezed orange juice on your tongue. A firm, tattooed hand stays at your hip, holding you in place as your arms slink around his neck. With both his kiss and touch still relatively gentle, the thoughts that you're able to process are that he'll remain stern with you, but not unreasonable.

The brunette brings his kiss to your neck, down to your collarbone, traveling lower and lower until he reaches your navel. Glossy brown orbs lock onto yours as he slides the bottoms of your swimsuit down your legs.

"Don't cum until I say so," he states, his tone brokering no room for argument, "Got it?"

You nod, hands already white-knuckling against the edge of the counter, "yes..."

"Yes what?" he questions as he brings your ankles out of the fabric, eye catching that gorgeous anklet.

"Yes sir," you breathe, head lulling back, shoulders slumping already at the thought of his face buried between your thighs.

He carefully brings your thigh over his shoulder, one hand gripping the flesh there while the other has a determined hold on your opposite hip. Before another word can be passed between the two of you, his face is pressed to your core, tongue flattening out to lick a slow stripe between your folds. Although he's taking his time, listening intently to every sound you make, no matter how quiet, he's relentless. Tongue dipping into your weeping hole, his nose catching on your clit every so often. He's tuned in with your body, it's subtle movements, the noises you make and what the different sounds mean. You couldn't derail his focus if you tried.

Your fingers weave through his umber tresses even with it being tied back with an elastic, "Oh fuck..."

He devours you, laps at the liquid arousal trickling out, the noises caused by his actions utterly obscene. Wet, slurping and sucking noises mixed with your combined moans were a perfect melody to him. Something he'd listen to every day in his headphones, on repeat, without pausing. He shifts his eyes up, his gaze burning the image of your shallow breath matched with the swift rise and fall of your chest to memory.

The grip you have on his hair only spurs him on, especially when you tighten it. Calloused hands drag down your thighs, keeping them settled at both sides of his head like a pair of noise-cancelling headphones. He feels the soft bite of cold metal against his back, then remembers the anklet. Popping off of your dripping cunt, his chin glistening in your arousal, he brings his your thigh off of his shoulder and brings his hand down to your ankle, fingers delicately tracing over the thin metal chain.

You offer a soft whimper at the loss of contact, half-lidded eyes locked onto his figure, "Wha.. Why'd you stop?"

Cocking his head to the side, he taps the pad of his index finger against the jewelry dangling off your ankle, "Just... admiring the leash you so willingly wear." He coos, the words filled with lust.

He dives back in, bringing both thighs onto his shoulders, face snugly between them. He doesn't relent until you're arching your back, shuddering with every flick of his tongue. Even then, he's still not satisfied, and neither of you. You're on the cusp of your orgasm, trying to let Eddie know, but he just gives three gentle taps to your hip and a disapproving grunt. His words ring in your ears, Don't cum until I say so ... Got it?

Just as you're sure you can't hold out on him any longer, he mumbles 'you can cum, sweetheart,' against your mound, then goes right back to his assault on your clit. You spasm, thighs clenched around his head to the point you're sure he can't breathe, orgasm tearing through your body like a ripcord. He slowly brings the aggressive flicks of his tongue to a stop once you're whimpering, out of breath, sensitivity having taken a strong hold on you.

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, staying knelt between your legs as you catch your breath and return from the astral plane and back into your body. Though, he can't help but sneak glances at the silver anklet, and the 'EM" charm hanging off of it.

thank you for reading xx.

[apomaro-mellow]

Every Baby Needs a Daddy 10

Part 9

EDDIE MUNSON'S NEW HOT PIECE?

The lead guitarist of acclaimed band Corroded Coffin is never far from a pretty face. What's the scoop on the newest one hanging off his arm? While their latest album Darkest Knights is climbing the charts is it possible that he's climbing into the sheets with a mystery man?

Steve scrolled through the article, expecting to find some highly invasive information from a sneaky journalist. But most of the writing was just telling readers who Eddie was and a couple of people he had publicly dated in the past. Probably because it was a mainstream publication and they didn't expect their usual viewers to know anything about a metal band.

The picture they used was of when they got to the venue the night of the concert. Eddie had walked Steve in with an arm around his waist. He went in search for any other information or reactions to this news. He wasn't an idiot. Fans could get pretty possessive over their idols. He was ever thankful that he wasn't very active online. At least not to the point where people could easily find and harass him.

Steve had always cautioned against reading too many comments on things. Online communities could quickly turn negative. But he had to see what they were saying about him and Eddie if he had any chance of defense.

Twitter was full of people giving their two cents either in their own posts or under other articles that were all saying the same thing. #CorrodedCoffin and Eddie Munson were both trending.

Quite a few weren't happy at the idea of Eddie shacking up with someone they had never seen before. Add to that the changed tour schedule and they were extra upset.

ro @ alittleunsteady i can't believe a random omega is taking care of eddie he's probably some money hungry whore

Right out the gate with that one. But Steve supposed it made sense from the outside, what with him being a nobody in the industry. And he was definitely benefitting off Eddie's money.

Star @ estrellamy who’s that wannabe? He even looks like a poser, look at his outfit, no way that’s real.

B @ bipanicroom replied: he's cute and I totally get Eddie wanting him for his rut but he definitely doesn't look the part for a long term omega I mean look at that polo shirt, our metal alpha needs some grunge

Okay, Steve laughed a little at those because, well, he stuck out next to Eddie. He'd mentioned perhaps changing his look to blend in with the crowd and Eddie had immediately vetoed it.

"Those bright ass jeans are like a lighthouse to this weary vessel", he had said. To which, Steve reminded him you're supposed to steer away from lighthouses.

"Whatcha laughin' at?", Eddie asked as he came back into the bedroom, carrying a tray of food.

Steve contemplated telling him about the cat being out of the bag, but it wasn't like they were keeping it a secret. It was just...something they didn't need to announce. He sat up, letting the blanket pool at his hips. They could keep the outside world outside just a little longer.

"Just some memes", then he took a deep breath as Eddie opened the curtain of their den. "Smells good."

Eddie put the tray across Steve's lap. "Pesto grilled cheese. With sun dried tomatoes."

"Fuck, that sounds good." Steve's stomach growled in agreement.

He and Eddie ate in bed, thankfully only getting a minimal amount of crumbs on it and cuddled. Eddie was the big spoon while Steve looked at some more comments. There were a few in a thread trying to figure out who he was and what his deal was. It seemed for as many as there were decrying Steve's fashion sense and how he was probably a gold digger, even twice as many were either in support or neutral.

He went to one of Eddie's fan pages which had a good amount of followers for their thoughts.

stream cc's darkestknights @ yourlove Omg y’all are so dumb, he is a literal rockstar why are you guys asking for explanations? That could be his boyfriend or just some rando, as long as I get good music who cares? Get a life atp really💀

Maple @ maplehazelnusse replied: right??? calm down he wasn't get with you either way

Steve felt Eddie's teeth grazing his skin, not even really sinking in, just squeezing lightly across his shoulders. He put his phone under the pillow, deciding that it all could well and truly wait. Eddie needed his full attention right now, even if he wasn't outright whining for it anymore.

While they spent another day wrapped up in each other, the media was having its usual field day. Eddie's unexpected rut would have made news on its own with it disrupting a tour. But add to it an omega that most of the world had never seen and it was a whole circus.

There were plenty who had actual concern over Eddie because sudden hormonal changes weren't fun. A youtuber posted a video summarizing the events of the past couple of days and under their video was an entire conversation regarding this.

@ thegenericcookie 2 days ago shout out to eddie Munson repping all of us off cycle bitches I had to postpone SUBMITTING MY THESIS because a stupid rut was 10 days early for no goddamn reason😞

@ fastimesatfasttimes 2 days ago OMG same! Its so embarrassing like "yo prof i gotta take of and go fuck myself for a week" >.<

@ grapesofyass 3 days ago is now a gud time to mention some places give rut leave but not heat leave?

Of course, when things of this nature came up, many voiced their opinions of the relationship, simply unable to help themselves. Especially since neither party were at all forthcoming about it. Photos surfacing of the two of them at the club and the sushi restaurant added fuel to the fire.

Sappy @ crazytipper67 eddie munson seen with RaNdoM OmeGA like we havent seen him all over his new bf for nearly a month now 😒 🥱 let not forget Eddie doesnt need to explain shit to us fr

GareBear @ garethsstressball like for real not to be a stalker but anyone whos been payin attention knows these two have been goin out a while

tigger @ corrodedcoughin12 he literally took him on tour i wouldn't be surprised if eddie was like actually courting him old fashioned style hes that type

mya @ amerikanscy Since when has Eddie been one to keep an Omega for this long? I bet as soon as his rut is over he'll just move on to the next like he always does. Who cares if he's been seen with Eddie more than once--if they were really anything to each other then they wouldn't be hiding it.

kas @ neveroncelostbutfound I mean, go off ig 🫤 jeff is not taken tho, right? RIGHT?

helix @ judyjetsuuuun replied: bestie.... image.jpeg

Attached was a very clear photo of Steve dancing with Jeff the night of the club and the resurgence of those pictures sparked all new conversations as Steve was seen dancing with everyone except Eddie.

jill @ jeffsnumbuh1 i just think its funny how when i posted pics of jeff that nite they got a lukewarm response but when the same pics show up with the guy i cropped out (out of respect for his privacy) somehow those got hundreds of shares

Everyone online was having a time. But for some, it was an unfortunate time. As was the case for those that Steve had known back home. Dustin was only a few years younger than Steve. He was pretty much an adult now. But it didn't make it any easier to see a section of the internet thirsting after his old babysitter. Some comments were tame and some were not.

countess @ dollarsandstars omg yay eddie's in love, boo its not me but yay him

estrella @ starsnstripes4never daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry.

bips @eddiemunsons2ndhusband EDDIE MUNSON IS TAKEN IM SOBBING HIS OMEGA IS SO PRETTY THO

Mark @ marklyblakemore Are we going to get news about a baby Munson soon🫣

fangs @ dusterjacketsarecool can you guys not? the dude literally drove me to middle school and made me go to sleep AT curfew when he watched me

When Dustin left that comment, he had a split second where he wondered if he should delete it. There weren't a ton of pictures of him online but the internet was full of super sleuths who would be able to dig up a lot on Steve if they were able to find a connection and get his name. Dustin hadn't even known he and Eddie were a thing until the tabloids picked it up.

But when replies came, they all shared a similar sentiment. 'Lying for clout is still lying'. Most didn't believe he knew Eddie's new arm candy in real life. And maybe it was better that way. But still, he could talk to the rest of the gang about it because holy shit Steve was dating a celebrity. The texting in their group chat (the one without their older siblings because they didn't want any lectures) had been going crazy since the news broke.

Dustin: How long until we can start posting embarrassing photos of Steve for maximum impact?

Lucas: We gotta wait until they publish his name

Mike: You think Eddie's really gonna announce theyre dating?

Dustin: Only if he's gonna make an honest man out of Steve

Will: But what if it's just a fling? Did Steve tell anyone about this?

Max: Betcha he told robin

El: I'm going to post the one from when he took us to Comic Con.

Lucas: That's not an embarrassing pic

Will: Yeah it was objectively awesome

El: I know. That is why I want to post it :)

--------------------

Eddie could tell when he himself was done with his rut. He wasn't filled with an all consuming need to impregnate Steve. The thought was still attractive, but he could allot some brain power to other things now. Like the madhouse surrounding his love life that was going on. Eddie had never really announced it when he was dating. Then again, the last couple of times it had been with fellow famous people.

Media outlets knew them well and were able to craft their stories easily. He got asked about them during interviews but most of it was public knowledge already. This was the first time since making it big that he'd been seen with someone like Steve. The next time he made an appearance he was going to be asked about him. And there was no way he could just say 'he's my sugar baby, we fuck and then I buy him things'. Even if that was true on paper, it wasn't how Eddie really felt.

Steve was sitting on the couch, gazing intensely on his phone and Eddie was sure it was some discourse about him but when he ventured to look over his shoulder has saw that he was watching a stop motion lego video.

"Interesting entertainment?", he asked, coming around to sit next to him.

"They just make it so smooth, I don't understand", Steve said in awe.

"I was wondering if we could talk about the-", Eddie cleared his throat, "about the, you know, what people are saying."

"Yeah sure", Steve paused the video and put his phone down.

"So, we're gonna move the tour soon", Eddie started. "And at some point, like in the next week, I'll probably be expected to make some kind of statement."

Steve nodded, eyes full of sincerity and understanding and Eddie couldn't take that pointed at him. He shot up and began pacing around.

"Okay, here was the deal. You're my sugar baby, right?"

"Right", Steve answered with another nod.

"But like, and correct me if I'm wrong, we don't really do the things people normally do in this sort of relationship."

"It's not that we don't do them", Steve watched Eddie move back and forth like a caged animal. "We don't-you don't treat me like a sugar baby."

Eddie froze. "Have I been doing this wrong?"

Steve shook his head. "Eddie you've been fine, great even." He stood up and grabbed Eddie's hands. "I couldn't have asked for anyone better. 'Cause like, from what I've seen, a more, let's say experienced sugar daddy would have just assumed I'd assist with a rut. You assumed I wouldn't."

"I couldn't just put that on you. I know what I'm like during a rut", Eddie looked away sheepishly. "But you can't pin this aaaallll on me sweetheart. You haven't been acting very sugar babyish."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Like you're the expert?"

"I've seen a couple! I know that they're very keen on pointing to whatever catches their fancy and saying 'daddy buy me this'. And I know you have good taste in things. You could also stand to drape yourself over me much more in public. I'm frankly appalled that too many of my fans don't see you as someone important."

Steve blushed at all Eddie was describing and tried to hide behind his hands but since Eddie had them, he kept him from doing so.

"That sounds like...a lot. Are you okay with me being a lot?"

"You're asking a musician that?", Eddie raised a brow.

"I mean like, when I get really...involved with someone", Steve was avoiding the word 'dating', "I can get clingy, and like, really hungry for attention."

"Baby, I just spent a week with my face attached to your pussy. Which, for the record, I would have done even I wasn't under hormonal persuasion." Eddie kissed his knuckles and then breathed in deep. Steve still carried so much of him, even after a shower, and would for a while. In about a week, his scent wouldn't cling to him the way it was now, but for a moment, he could imagine Steve was wholly his.

"When I go out in front of cameras, I..." He wanted to tell them Steve was his omega, that he was officially courting and if the fates saw fit, would make him his mate.

"What?"

"What should I tell them?", Eddie asked.

Steve thought about what people already thought was going on. The world already assumed they were fucking. They didn't really announce that. The only real question was how permanent Steve was. Was he a fling or an actual boyfriend?

"What do you want me to be?", Steve asked in return.

Eddie's heart thumped in his chest. The false answer hung from his lips, ready to go. To keep them in this limbo for as long as he could. But that was no guarantee either. Besides, Eddie really wanted to make a proper den for Steve to make a proper nest. He wanted to take Steve back to his actual home. He wanted to meet this enigmatic Robin.

"I want you to be mine. And I wanna tell the world about it." Eddie knew that was the right response from the way Steve lit up.

Corroded Coffin ☑️@corrodedcoffinitsafishyall

The official Twitter of Corroded Coffin. Stream our new album Darkest Knights. And to the owner of the corrodedcoffinofficial handle, come outside we just wanna talk

corrodedcoffinband.com

150 Following 529k Followers

5 minutes ago Changed the password account again bc some knot-heads never heard of PR - Grant

8 minutes ago Btw his name is Steve and he's my sweetheart

10 minutes ago Post-rut clarity call that seein with my third eye

Eddie Munson ☑️ @ edmunsoncc

This is where I go when they kick me off the band account :(

1 minute ago they took my Stevie D:<

2 minutes ago They can take away my account privileges but they cant take away my Stevie

And the world knows his name! And the tour continues! What will happen as they travel down the east coast!? Stay tuned!

Part 11

Tag Team CLOSED

@awkotaco24 @lingeringmirth @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @tartarusknight @velocitytimes2 @mrsjellymunson @trashcanniballecter @paintsplatteredandimperfect @a-little-unsteddie  @sllooney  @starman-jpg  @oxidantdreamboat  @xxbottlecapx   @newtstabber @tiny-enthusiast  @desidrarry-wolfstarshipper @y4r3luv @hello-fellow-nerds  @anonymousbandgirl @alyelf @potato-of-the-lord  @beckkthewreck  @croatoan-like-its-hot @pluto-pepsi @abstractnaturaldisaster @ellietheasexylibrarian @eyesofshinigami @dragonmama76 @greatwerewolfbeliever @chaosgremlinmunson @blackpanzy @millseyes-world @batxsignalsx @lilpomelito @goosesister @libraryofgage @aresthelostboy @royjaimie4eva @silenzioperso @she-collects-smut @lost-wondering-souls @eddielives1986 @marklee-blackmore

[artdcnaldson]

some gross nasty here for u (hope ur feeling ok btw, lmk if theres anything i can do)

dom art. and i dont mean like, sweet dom art, im talking ab mean art! like it's a mutually destrictive situation - he's married, you're his fucking babysitter for fuckssake - but tashis cheated on him again, and he’s pent-up and hes angry and hes stressed. and right now, the only place he has any semblance of control over his own life is the bedroom. his own dirty little secret. and you're drowning in college debt and more than stressed, yourself, and it feels so, so good to give up and give someone else the reins for a while, to throw up your hands and say, im off. just you and art. well, his cock, anyway. and if he slides you a little more money here and there to help with the bills, well, it's not like him or his wife will miss it !

art manages to keep it secret from tashi. somehow. in fact, when you're alone with him in the hotel, cross-legged on the floor watching 'encanto' for the hundredth time with lily and singing along, he can almost pretend it's you he's married to, you he wakes up to in the morning, you who raises his baby girl. but that's ridiculous, because try as he might to feel anything other than lust for you, he can't. his heart belongs to tashi, belongs to the heavy metal band on his finger. and all those sweet domestic fantasies inevitably give way to his true desires - you he bends over the kitchen counter, you who kneels before him after practice, you who he fills up with hot cum whenever he needs. and he knows you don't feel anything remotely sweet for him, either, because sometimes you're unavailable because you're on a date, and because to you, art donaldson is a risque fantasy, a way to get your rocks off, and a fat check.

and that was fine. its was totally okay.

until fucking patrick came back. and suddenly, after new rochelle, patrick's swinging around all the time and you two can't just sneak off like you used to because while tashi can be preoccupied with brand deals and press tours and media circuts, patrick has nothing better to do than to follow art around all day. you don’t care, you're just salty about the loss of your dick appointment and the pay.

once, you get close to catching them. you can hear it - patricks short, staccato breaths, the low rumble of his groans, and art. art, unlike anything you've ever heard before, art, undone in a way you didn't totally suspect was possible. art, whining into his pillows, practically begging for it-- you pull away from the door. take your hand off the knob. step away, and send a stray toy of lily's rolling. clattering. you freeze. the sounds stop.

then, art, cool as ever, the commanding tone you're painfully familiar with, "come on in, baby, i know you're out there."

it's how you end up between them. it's how patrick finds out about arts dominant streak (he thinks it's hot, even if hes much more of a brat than you are, and art enjoys knocking him down a peg). more accurately, it's how you end up beneath them, begging for them to just take you both. art orchestrating the whole thing, telling patrick when to put his dick in you, where and when patrick is allowed to cum, that he can't finish until you have, at least twice. on his face/fingers, then on his dick. patrick has to wear a condom though. even if it doesn't mean much, you're still art's.

-kit ♡♡♡

You ate <3 Soemthing is soooo yummy about being used by Art and using him back <3 Nothing more than a paycheck and a dick for you to play with <3

You’re so sexually pent up by the time you walk in on them that you’d have gotten on your knees and begged to join if Art hadn’t instructed you to. It’s annoying, how domineering and commanding he can still be while taking Patrick Zweig’s dick in his ass.

That first time, you’re beneath Art— you let him bury himself in your pussy. Each time Patrick thrusts, it sends Art pushing deeper into you. It’s heavy and hot beneath Art’s body weight, and you just lay there and take it. Watching Patrick from over Art’s shoulder, smirking at him as he reduces Art to fucked-out moans and whimpers as he gets closer and closer. You think it’s crazy— you never get Art like that, you get Art all possessive and intense, not malleable and needy.

When Art cums, you have to finish yourself off— it was more about him than you. Patrick watches your fingers move between your thighs, rubbing at your clit as he continues to fuck into Art and chase his finish. You cum first, and you look so fucking pretty that he can’t help it.

Patrick likes you. Art likes you. Art likes Patrick. Patrick likes Art. But Art isn’t going to let you and Patrick be together alone. He’s no crazy, you’re his plaything, his employee. So he directs Patrick’s fingers, mouth, cock, all with the express purpose of pleasuring you.

There are no secret whispers, no chemistry he can’t see. Just Patrick listening to Art’s commands and you falling apart on the brunet’s tongue, on his cock. When you finish, you go and curl up against Art and thank him like he’d done it. You tell him you’ve missed him and he smiles affectionately, like he would smile at a cute pet doing a trick for him.

@gamesetart

[chemicallady]

I WANNA FEEL LOVE AGAIN

Part 1 ; Part 2 ;

Couple: Noah Sebastian x Fem!Reader

Content Warning: I made a little homage to three fanfiction I really love! I leave you to find the references ;)

Taglist: @ada-clarence , @badalmondzzzz , my wifey @starsomens , @raventherockstarhippie @blacksoul-27 , @somewhere-diamond

Summary:  This is just cute. I swear.

But you never promised me to be wiser of better.

Time flies.

Two years passed by so fast that you almost didn't notice. At first, your job was not demanding at all, compared with the rest of the crew. You have to accompaning Noah or any other member of the band to attend the interviews, most of them for radio stations. Taking notes for integrations on their website. Keep an eye on publicize enough any tourdates or merch drop, find sponsor for bigger venues and check at the end of the day if the guys need something for the day after.

You had to spend a lot of your time on the band socials, especially instagram and twitter, which you have always shared credentials with your brother and the rest of the band. You also create their TikTok and take care about the creation of fun contents.

It was way easy before the release of Death of Peace of Mind. After the beginning of 2022, you were on the road more than at home. A lot of famous hosters started to ask for an interview with Noah. All the lights switched on the future promise of rock music when Just Pretend became one of the most used/listened songs on TikTok.

And now, in the middle of the summer of 2023, the band is still rising. More money bring more responsabilities, the necessity of arranged a better shows, bigger interviews, more publicity, more interaction through the socials.

Everyone has to work the double, you included. Speaking with radio manager and small magazine specialized in all metal subgenders was a thing.

But now the band is too huge to stop at this level. And you werent trained enough for all this pressure, but it started to grow on you month after month, tour after tour. You are the guardian of Noah's schedule. You are not charming enough to compete with others PR, but since the crew is more similar to family meeting than a serious ansemble of professionals, you became competitive.

Hard work got big results like the european tour with Bring Me the Horizon. Oli wanted Bad Omens to open for him but you were the one who put all her soul and time on the project. On the papers. Because behing any tour there is a mountain of burocracy, sponsor phone calls and publicity. You had to team up with Matt, Miles and Davis so many times that at some point, that it's like having more than just one older brother.

From june 4th, the last day on tour, you are on vacation. You have nothing to do with music creation or audio/video sound checks. You just need a laptop, a lot of patience every time you scroll your emails, and the fantastic mojito your neighbour Brianna makes. A good reason to work on your balcony, along with the sound of the ocean, is her company. You don't have many friends but she is amazing. She moved from Minnesota after the shutdown, and she is an actress. Small roles, but as she always says, small roles bring bigger ones.

《 and it would have been ever better if my prick boyfriend didn't show up and basically assaulted the casting director》

You have heard this story at least ten times, but it's still amazing how boys can be idiots. 《 Why are you still with him? He's a bomb ready to detonate, Bri》 , you know that your concern will not help her in resonate, but you can't shut up.

《 I can't afford either the apartment or the car and you know that, y/n. Also, he is not that bad when he's sorber.》

《 But he never is! 》 you place the now empty glass on the outdoor table, disappointed in seeing her almost offended expression. It's a fortune that Matt isn't around. He has to deal with Jim at least twice a week. 《 You're my friend, Bri. The only one unrelated to my job..... I can't sleep over this situation anymore. I can help you. Move in with me and Matt, take care of my plant and Lucifurr for me while we are on tour. We don't want you to help with the rent. You just need to tell that dick to fuck off.》

《.... but he drives me to every casting》

《 and he's the reason no one is picking you in a very first place. This relationship is too toxic》

《 y/n I think you're crossing the line.》

《 He's gonna kill you one of these days!》

You both muted for a couple of seconds, the now tense air between the two of you being thick as a wall. Yeah, you cross the line but like Matt, you're no good in resonate with people who don't want any help. And like Matt you can't stand injustice, not at this rate.

But you know that you have to excuse yourself, simply it's hard to find the right words. You are not going to apologise for speaking your mind, but just about the way you did it.

《 y/n? Are you ready?》

A raspy voice catch you off guard. It's already seven??

《 Shit, Noah. I'm outside》, you yell in response, before turning again towards Brianna. She already reached the empty glass and without a word, and she comes back to her apartment. 《 C'mon Brianna. I'm sorry, just-for the fuck sake.》

Noah is standing right next to you when Brianna shut the door loudly.

All you can do is sigh out loud - a bad habit you inherit from the tall man on your side - before bringing your hands to cover your face in frustration.

《 What's going on, here?》 He asks , munching a candy.

《 I don't understand women.》

He gives you a funny look. 《 Damn, that's the real deal, man. Not the chicken/egg question, or what's our purpose on earth.... but why you girls act so weird. 》

《 Shut the fuck up, Noah. Not now.》

Your relationship with Noah also changed drastically in the last two years. It required some time and a ton of patience, but he open up to you and from thenon, you became a sort of confident of him. In return, he is the one you call when things are not going well. It was a bit embarrassing, the first months, but your friendship now is stronger than youve ever immagined. You feel like you can tell everything to Noah without being judged. Sometimes he laughs at you, of course, but he knows when a situation has to be manged seriously.

He cares about you with all his heart.

He doesn't aspect nothing in return, but he is dear to you on a level than only your brother have always been.

And he knows you deeply, that's why it is so easy for him to detect how worried you are.

《 Do you think he beats her? I mean, Steve is a scumbag, but I can't figure him being actually that violent. He is always too high to have some form of coordination.》

Since his arrival - Noah has the keys of the apartment so he can come and go as he pleased, especially when both you and matt are not in town and someone has to take care of Luci- Noah asked you questions on Brianna's situation.

He knows you're concerned and he also can't pretend he is fine with your neighbors yelling at each others on daily basis.

《 I don't know but he is getting more and more jealous. She told me he's sabotaging her auditions, now.》

Noah takes a sip of the iced tea you offer him, before grab your hand on the surface of the counter. 《 Start to call the police on them, when they argue. Maybe you're right. He is not beating her yet. But he could start.》 You nod slowly, thanking him with a soft smile. 《 By the way, do you feel okay? Wanna postpone our date?》

He loves to joke around with you, because he knows how this helps in rising your moral.

You pretend to get offended. 《 I would never, ever decline a date with you. Let me change in a more adequate outfit.》

《 take your time, the limo's driver can wait downstairs.》

You giggle, before leaving him in the kitchen, reaching your room for a quick change. In five minutes you're ready: a ponytail, red joggers and a tank top.

《 Ready to run, pretty boy?》

《 I'm always ready, chicken butt.》

Noah has never told you the real reason why he has taken the work out so seriously, but you're glad he did, because you joined him on his program and honestly, you feel at your top right now. It's not a matter of aesthetics, but you feel healthy. You are less tired at the end of the day, and you can endure the - at least- 15 working hours while Touring. Back at home, it became a habit of the two of you going out for a run daily during the sunsets since Noah is not an early bird and you'd rather work in the morning.

The place you chose is on the street that runs alongside the beach in Malibù. One of reason why you got used to LA is also the precious view of the ocean while the sun sinks in it and paints the sky in gold.

There is a small beach, hidden in the stunning nature of the Pacific Coast, that has become your spot. Every day you reach that beach, stretch a little and then go back to your apartment when usually Noah showers before leaving.

Today is a Saturday and even if you don't have big plans, Noah sometimes takes his chances on a Saturday night. Even God took a day off on Sunday, right?

《 It's the red hair?》

You ear him chuckles while you bend, grabbing the tip of your toes to stretch your back.

《 No red hair as far as I can recall》

《 So... the girl you helped at that dive bar?》 You rise again, bringing your arms to the sky 《The one who broke up with her cheating boyfriend? Or maybe your neighbour? I like her. I remember you told me she was so happy when you sent her our merch.》

Noah pushes you a little, making you loosing your balance while a giggle leaves your lips. 《 You're making me look like a fuckboy!》

《you are a fuckboy, always surrounded by beautiful women. And don't look at me like that! I know you like it that way!》

Noah is young and awesome. You got a crush on him in the beginning of your partnership. It's more than obvious that he has a significant number of choices when he wants to spend a night out.

This used to hurt you a bit, but the feeling of jealousy or envy - you still don't know what it was - disappeared in the moment you realised what you have.

All this girls can have noah for a night or two.

You can have him fully, you can call him in the middle of the night if a guy screws on you and Noah will bring you to buy ice-cream to McDonald's. You two can talk for hours about the absolute nothing or regarding the most difficult life choices.

You can mocking him, make him laugh in the golden light of the dying sun, in this very moment.

And that's more than enough.

Maybe you and Noah are not meant to be lovers, but he is your person and you are his. Like twin Flames, that doesn't matter how far they are.

They always burn bright.

《 I don't know, I was thinking for something casual. Like Netflix and chill.》

Lucifurr jumps off the sofa in the moment he hears Noah entering in your apartment. Your cat totally ignores you and starts to purr to the tall man that interrupts everything to kneel and cuddle the black ball of furr.

Satanic animal...

《 Then you should text the neighbor. She is the sweetest of yours hooks up.》

《 Then I can simply ring the door on my way back.》

《 Call her, Noah. Don't be a prick. The world doesn't revolve around you. Maybe she is planning to go out.》

You can hear him sigh in his annoying way. 《Can I shower here, anyway? I smell bad.》

《 You always smell bad.》

《 Am I???》

You exchange a glaze with him and immidiatly know its time to run. In the moment he leaves Luci alone, he is following you around the house while you yell for help. But matt isn't back yet, so you're on your own. As soon as noah reaches you (very soon, his legs are longer than yours), he huggs you tight, trying to put your head under his armpit.

《 NOAH STOP IS DISGUSTING!》 , you try to defend yourself hitting him on his back and between his legs with small slaps.

《Ei! Low blow! Don't slap my nutts!》

《 Don't sweat on me, you piece of-》

A yell interrupted the both of you, follow by a long cry and some smashed dishes. Noah realise the grip on you and sighs deeply looking at the wall that divides your apartment from Briannas one.

《 Is it always like this?》

《 almost every day, now.》

And there is something that broke in your cracking voice that completely shattered Noahs heart.

《 let's call the cops》, he says with a soft voice, hugging your shoulders. 《 I'll stay. We can watch a movie togheter.》

You look at him in surprise while he is reaching his phone. 《 and your date?》

《 you're my date》 , is the cheeky replay. The both of you smile, and you need a second. Not only because you're worried about brianna, but also because these small situations make you feel.... weird on your feelings towards noah.

You don't want to admit it, but a real date would be all you desire.

....but at what cost?

[reysdriver]

Rockstar!Sirius

headcanons of Sirius as a rockstar/musician — rockstar!sirius x fem!reader

warnings: some sexual headcanons so minors dni cus it's not for you

words: 0.4k

a/n: I will be writing more of this AU, I just realized I hadn't done anything for rockstar!sirius so I had to do some quick hcs

- The band is The Marauders of course (I've said this for every rockstar headcanon list so far lol)

- Sirius is 100% the lead singer; he loves being the center of attention and this is the best way for him to get that

- He does play some instruments like guitar or keyboards if the band needs, but his main role is vocals

- Glam rock aesthetic, like he LOVES the makeup, the jewelry, the flashy outfits, everything 

- I could see him in a classic rock 'n' roll look, but for the band's peak, he's wearing those platform boots and glittery clothes

- Remus writes most of the songs for the band, but Sirius writes some too

- And most (if not all) of the songs he writes are about you, and I'd say about half of them are sexual

- Insists that you're his 'muse', says he can't be a star without you there

- So he'll bring you on all the band's tours, and dedicates every concert to you because 'without you, I'd be nothing'

- You'll even have your own little something in the band's contracts (like your favourite candy in the dressing rooms or just anything like that) because Sirius insists you be treated like part of the band

- And speaking of 'part of the band', he takes you on shopping sprees to buy matching outfits with him so that the entire world knows who you are because he just wants to show you off in the best clothes his rockstar money can buy

- Wants you to star in the band's music videos and be on their album art

- The entire fanbase knows about you (how could they not? do you really expect Sirius to keep you a secret) and they love you 

- He will talk about you in every interview he does

- I picture him super tattooed (like he was after azkaban but like in a good way)

- Honestly just rockstar!sirius is Damiano David like literally same exact person

- If it's modern, he'll post pictures on social media like Jennifer Lopez using Ben Affleck's cropped nudes for a father's day pic

- Or like post-sex selfies like his smug face after eating you out that you equally find so embarrassing and flattering 

- And when you tell him (only partially seriously) to keep those pictures private, he just teases and says 'how else will the world know how much I love you if I don't show them?'

[babyhedonistt]

Too Close To Touch // TWO

Warnings : Smut, Mental despair,

"Good going." Jolly scoffs, nearly hitting his nose on the door when you slammed it shut. Jolly has always been protective of you, so the fact Noah just made you storm out and quit the tour really boiled his blood to say the least.

Ruffilo pinched the bridge of his nose sighing deeply, and Noah seemed almost unphased. His mouth was pushed into a straight line and his jaw clenched with regret when the reality of not having a drummer set in his stomach.

"We need a fucking drummer, Noah." Ruffilo whispers. Noah doesn't say anything and pulls his phone from his back pocket. "No." Jolly plucks Noah's phone from his hand. "Hey-"

"You aren't texting your way out of this one. You haven't respected Y/N since she temporarily joined this band, and it blows my mind considering how close you two used to be." Jolly scolds him and struck a nerve.

Noah's adam's apple bobbed before he took a deep breath. "Just drop it and I'll go talk to her."

"She's probably outside smoking. An uber can't come this fast and the tour bus won't take just her without the rest of us." Ruffilo chimed in.

Jolly handed Noah back his phone and made a mental note as Noah left the dressing room, of the news article he had accidentally opened from your text conversation with Noah when he snatched the phone of his hand.

"You know I'll beat some sense into him if he's still bothering you Y/N." Folio voice states, coming out of your phone.

"Respectfully, I think the only thing stopping you from doing that is your height dude." You chuckle, flicking some of the ash off the butt of your cigarette.

"Ha ha. You're hilarious. I'm trying to get better as fast as I can. You did great up there tonight though." He compliments. Your lip quivered as tears began to well in your eyes. "Really?"

"Yeah. Don't give me a run for my money though." He chuckles. "I'll talk to you soon, okay? I love you" Folio assures you. You nod into the receiver before putting out your cigarette with your boot. "Love you too."

The line goes dead before you wipe your eyes and sniffle back the sadness you had pent up all day before the closing of the outside door causes you to jump and grab your chest.

"No, I'm not hearing him out Jol--"

He stood there. His tall frame towering over you as he stood in gym shorts, slides and his infamous black hoodie. This version of him looked a little more normal. More like the Noah you remember. This version of him almost had a calming effect on you.

It always does until he opens his damn mouth.

"Looks like you couldn't stay away." He sighs, cracking his neck.

"You have literally three seconds before I punch you square in your jaw."

He holds his large hands up, shaking his hands before taking a few steps towards me. You take an equivalent number of steps back before his eyebrows crease. "Don't do that."

"Do what?" You ask, keeping your eyes trained on him, only being able to see his features by the dimness of the alley light above the both of you. "Acting like you're nervous around me." He says

"Oh. I wish it was acting." You reply, pulling your phone out of your pocket, prepping it to call Jolly on speed dial.

"You can't still be mad about--"

"Don't even bring that up right now Noah. Hearing those words come out of your mouth right now is the last thing I want to relive right now. " You felt your eyes well with water again as you smother the confidence to stand in his presence alone and on this topic.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." He speaks. He feels confident enough to take another step towards you, and this time you let him approach you. Usually, when it came to Noah Sebastian, you could tell when he was lying. His hands would be locked together, the top of his foot would be tucked behind his ankle, and he would avoid eye contact at all costs.

This time, his eyes were drilling holes into your skull, and just like the last time he made this type of eye contact with you, you were beneath him, naked.

You felt your breath catch in your chest as he continued to apologize. "We need you on this tour, without Folio, it's been really hard and I'm just not used to having someone in his place. Let alone his sister."

He stuck his hands in the pockets of his shorts as he attempted to read you for any sort of reaction. You wanted to yell at him. His lame attempt of trying to pass you off as ' Folio's Sister ' was absolutely pathetic. But what can you expect coming from him?

"Why don't we make a deal?" You spit and you could visibly see his ears perk up and his eyebrows reach his hairline. He slightly nods in acknowledgement. You take a step closer to him, with your arms folded across your chest, looking up at him, the back of your head almost touching the base of your neck.

"I'm listening." He mumbles, his eyes slowly moving from your eyes,

to your neck.

to your chest..

your stomach....

all the way down your body.

"You give me no more grief on this tour, and I'll promise that you won't have to see me ever again after it's over."

Your eyes squinted up at him. This man was so good at hiding his facial expressions, he would pass any lie detector test.

You hold out your hand for him to shake. He doesn't move his head, but his gaze looks down at your hand. "And if I disagree?" He inquires, a tilt of a smirk tugging at his lips as you felt the familiar nausea settle at the base of your stomach.

"You don't get to, just like I didn't get to." You force his hand into yours to shake, and he takes your hand, spinning you around so your back was against his front, and he wraps his arms around you, locking you in, his face falling next to yours, his lips grazing your ear.

"You're much more than his sister. You and I both know that, and I'm sorry it has to be this way." He whispers, before placing an airy kiss on the cartilage of your ear, and letting you go before going back inside out of the cold night.

You hurl your phone at the door before squatting down and hugging your legs, shaking from a combination of the cold and the images deciphering in your memory.

You hate him

You hated him so much.

To be continued............ hehe

[octuscle]

Hey there, Support for this Chronivac thingy? I have no idea what this is but my flatmate keeps talking about it on the phone with his bandmates , saying weird stuff like needing a new drummer and using it on me or smth? Him and I don't get along? Ive had to work hard doing medicine and he just rode on this music scolarship and gets to laze around and hook up and be a buff menace with his friends (lucky bastards).....They're this mean punk metal thingy and i can barely stand them being so loud and stuff practicing after the gym, whatever they're planning can't be good. Looking it up only led me here.....Any advice?

I am unsure now… There is a Chronivac account with a transformation going on…. Licensee is you. And the licence is also paid for with your credit card. It all looks fine to me…

During the lunch break in the canteen of the university hospital you catch yourself drumming with the cutlery on the edge of the table. Must be some song by your flatmates' band. Cool beat. Gets into your blood. And it's catchy… You don't usually listen to music while you study, but you search YouTube for videos of the band. Yeah, you're jealous. It just looks like a lot of fun. More fun than you're having in the library. And more fun than you'll have in the lectures. Fuck, maybe you should just skip pathology class today. And meet up with your flatmate and his band at the outdoor gym on the sports campus.

Shit, the band members are all well trained. Not a gram of fat on their wiry, muscular bodies. And they're all having fun. Of course they have a boombox with them on which they play their own songs. You have to admit, a great motivation for training. You haven't worked out like this in a long time. And yet you feel fitter than ever after the training. Fuck, you really neglected your body, that felt really good!

Normally you would go home now, tidy up, study a bit. But the boys have a gig at a big club. Wouldn't you like to come along? You feel a bit uncomfortable. The guys are all wearing leather jeans and black tank tops with band logos on them. Apart from your sports shorts, you only have the white jeans and the white polo shirt from the hospital. You are also sweaty from training. You shouldn't worry. Everyone at the concert is sweaty. And when it really gets going, you'll be partying bare-chested like everyone else there anyway. Okay, it's one night. Tomorrow, Friday, there's not much going on at the university anyway. And you're only young once. So let's get into the hustle and bustle.

You party wildly and exuberantly with your friends. Where your tank top has gone, the devil knows. All this time it was still tucked into your leopard print jeans. But at some point during the pogo you lost it. You pull your wallet with the heavy chain out of your trousers and get beer for the boys with the last of your money. You have already drunk a few today. You've had just as many as a beer shower. Your hair is soaking wet from beer and sweat. But the evening is amazing! The main act of the evening is announced to the cheers of the masses. Your buddies push their way towards the stage. You ask where they want to go, they pull you along. As if in a trance, you let yourself be wired up. And then you take your beloved sticks and set the beat for the highlight of the evening.

The tour starts next week. If it goes badly, you have to make up a semester. If it goes well, the university will never see you again!

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon (Modern AU) - Game Night

Jaskier loves music. It is his career, and he spends the majority of his days listening to it, creating it, and sharing it. It's an important part of his life that he is very passionate about.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't have other interests or things that he obsesses over. He likes games in particular. He'll sit down with Geralt and the other Witchers and play some video games, a card game, or a few rounds of pool. Sometimes he'll play a board game with Geralt, Yennefer, and Ciri.

But there is one game he gets really excited about playing. He is a huge fan of D&D. He has a custom D&D table, and has made a few diroamas. And he is obsessed with collecting dice. He follows several custom dice makers on tiktok, and is constantly showing the ones that catch his eye to Geralt, but he very rarely buys any.

Everytime he goes on a tour with his band, or goes on the Path with Geralt, he always keeps an eye out for places that might sell dice. He almost always comes back empty-handed.

He could easily buy anything he wanted, being a sucessful bard, and a Viscount, but he rarely buys anything for himself. He prefers to use his money for more sensible things, like taking care of his family, and making sure his band has what it needs. And making sure he is more fashionably dressed than Valdo Marx, because f**k him!

Yennefer doesn't understand Jaskeir's obsession with the dice. The closest she can compare it to is a magpie's obsession with shiny things.

He had been so excited when Eskel had brought him a custom made set of dice that looked like they contained small galaxies. He had hugged the Witcher, then run off, doing this weird little excited goblin run. The dice had been placed in a display box, on a special shelf in his room. He would occassionally bring them out to use for special game nights.

And he doesn't just use the dice for his games. He uses them when he and Geralt can't agree on something, or to make a decision.

Yennefer cannot acurately the describe the feeling of utter dread/panic/suspicion, or Impeding Doom that twisted up her stomach every time Jaskier hands her a die and says "Yen, quick! Roll this for me!"

Yennefer: *reluctantly rolls die*

Jaskier: "20!? Thanks, Yen!" *runs to the kitchen excitedly shouting* "Geralt! Geralt, 20!"

Yennefer *sits there internally panicking* 20 what? What was the number for? Was it 20 kittens? Was it number 20 on a list of options for snacks? Was it a destination? Was it the number of grapes Jaskier was going to try to shove up his a**??? She doesn't know. All she knows is that if Geralt starts laughing, it's going to be something cringey, stupid, dangerous, or possibly all three.

She hears them giggling in the bathroom later, and someone whispering "Stop laughing, you're making them fall out!"

Yennefer bangs on the door. "Jaskier! You better not be shoving grapes up your a**!"

"I'm not!"

*muffled giggling*

Yennefer: You better not be shoving grapes up Geralt's a**!

Geralt: *muffled giggling*

Jaskier: *disappointed whine* "Awww-! D*mn it, Geralt! Now we have to start all over!"

Yennefer decides she doesn't want to know.

She doesn't really have a great deal of interest in D&D itself, but she knows just about everything there is to know about it, thanks to the weekly game nights.

She was excited at first, listening to them talk about their campaigns the following day, but when she actually sat in on a game, she found it...tedious. Their characters,on the other hand, were interesting and creative.

For example, Jaskier's character (a Bard, of course) was just a pair of hands that (at first) communicated in a combination of sign language and rude gestures, played the lute, and made sex jokes.

His character later gained the ablity to speak by making a 'talking' motion with the hands. And proceeded to talk and argue with himself, carry on an almost non-stop Statler and Waldorf running commentary, sing, and make rude/inappropriate gestures. And try to randomly poke his companions in the a**.

His favorite spell was 'Mega B*tch Slap', which he'd made up, they'd argued about, but had ended up allowing it because 'why not?'.

The world itself was interesting, but the actual quests/adventures took forever. This was mostly because they spent the majority of their time rolling to end a parade of arguments. Most of the game was spent rolling to see if one of them would be allowed to do something.

They spent an hour at an Inn, rolling to see who the barmaid liked best.

They rolled to see who the horses liked better.

They rolled to see if Lambert could start the campaign completely hammered.

They rolled to see if one of them could fight a battle bucka** nekkid

They rolled for d*ck length.

They rolled to see if Geralt was allowed to turn himself into a horse.

They rolled for Horse Geralt's d*ck length.

Yennefer discovered that there was barely a serious moment in any of their campaigns. All manner of improbable and impractical things happened. Dead Cow Balloons, Dead Elf Boogie Board, Crab Tornado, Exploding Chickens, Bag of Singing D*cks... and the she couldn't forget the most powerful weapon ever forged. The Jabbing Stick of Instant Death. It was literally just a stick with a pointy end, but one jab and it was all over.

Yennefer did find all the absurdity and unpredictability amusing, but she just didn't have the patience for all the rolling.

Which is why she volunteered to be in charge of cooking for game night. That and she was appalled when she found out what they were eating during their gaming sessions.

Yennefer had walked into the game room with some drinks, "What the h*ll are you eating?"

"Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and Tomato Soup?" Jaskier had said, casually stirring his soup.

"That's not-! Those are cheese puffs floating in, in tomato sauce!"

"I put some of that chicken powder stuff in it,"

"That's not tomato soup! Or grilled cheese!"

"But it's like tomato soup and grilled cheese." Jaskier replied.

Yennefer turned at the sound of a plastic water bottle crinkling, and saw Geralt squeeze a mushy white substance into his mouth, then follow it up with a handful of shredded cheese straight from the bag. "Geralt! What the-!"

"Baked potato," Eskel explained, shaking some instant mashed potato flakes into his water bottle, letting Geralt heat the water in it with Igni, then shaking it.

Lambert glared at her, daring her to say anything about the bowl of pizza rolls covered in so much ranch dressing that he was eating them with a spoon.

There was a soft scrape of a plastic spoon against metal. Coen was eating Spaghetii-O's right out of the can.

"You all eat like f***ing stoners!!! I'm going to make you some real food!"

From then on, Yennefer cooked for them on game nights. It was simple fare, mostly things that made her feel like she was feeding a pack of children.

Dinosaur chicken nuggets, macaroni, and cheese, hotdogs, etc. But they never complained about it. In fact, they seemed excited about the food. Especailly one dish that she discovered was their favorite.

Jaskier had walked into the kitchen for some drinks, saw the cans and the hotdogs on the counter, and gone bolting back to the game room, with an excited whoop of, "F**K YEAH, BEANIE WEENIES!!!"

Sometimes, if Jaskier hadn't been too aggravating that week, Yennefer would make tavern food for them, to kind of fit the theme of their game.

Yennefer would leave them to their game and go about her evening, then curl up with her old cat plush, Sammy, and go to sleep. Sometimes she would have to make a trip to the game room to yell at them to be quiet.

And in the morning, she was woken up by The Ritual of The Most Holy Burrito. Every morning following a game night, five grown-a** men would microwave breakfast burritos, hold them over their heads, and dance through the living room while singing every verse of the sacred hymn "Yum Yum Breakfast Burritos".

She started leaving blankets and pillows on the couch after she'd gone in one morning after a game night and found them all sleeping scattered around the room and using various items as blankets.

Lambert was using a week-old pizza box someone had forgot to throw away.

Coen was under the gaming table.

Geralt and Jaskier were using Eskel.

Yennefer had started a collection of Game Night Aftermath photos that she regularly shared with Madeleine when they would go out on their Girls Only Days.

Unless the photo was so extraordinarily humorous or adorable that she would text it to her immediately.

Like the photo of Jaskier using Eskel's a** as a pillow.

Or the picture of Geralt passed out on the game table with his tits out.

And the assorted photos of shirtless Witchers in cuddle piles

Yennefer decides that game nights aren't so bad after all.

[astoriawritings]

"Will you marry me?"

Monte(The Linguini Incident) x Reader Headcanon

Warning: None

Cross-posted on Wattpad, Ao3 and FFN.

Thank you for reading!

You met Monte at the restaurant where you both worked. 

His first words were "Hello. Do you want to marry me?"

You thought he was flirting so you snorted and said "Sure".

He clasped his hands, smirked and told you to meet him at the registry office.

Realising what he said wasn't a joke, you tried to back out but he didn't wish to let go and distracted you with a small talk.

To begin with, your job at the restaurant was only temporary and you didn't like gossip, opting to not socialise with the other staff. You knew nothing about what the staff was talking about Monte and what he had told them.

He straightforwardly explained that he needed a green card and had to marry someone for about a year. Just the marriage, nothing else, no relationship. You refused again and went on to do your duties.

Outside the restaurant, he caught up to you and tried to woo you with a dinner invitation and promise to buy you a fancy ring a few months after you marry if that's what you wanted. He had clearly changed tactics.

The last words he said before you shut the door of the old van you could borrow every Friday were, "You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen. Honestly." He was smiling softly and his mismatched eyes were shining.

The following day you had a concert with your band in some old bar. You've been in the band for four years but the other two members were your childhood friends. You've been trying to get a record deal since you formed.

As always, the people at the bar were drunk which scared you, keeping in my mind how close they were to you.

Whilst on the stage, all you could see were unknown faces until your eyes met a pair of mismatched ones. Monte! You stuttered but quickly recollected yourself and continued playing the guitar and singing.

Overall, you were nervous for the rest of the "concert" but thought the band did well.

"This wasn't so bad, was it?" you thought as you bowed with the other two members.

But they didn't think the same. "We need to talk," your drummer had said, backstage-the bar's storage. 

"I'm sick of this shit. We aren't teenagers anymore. We're wasting our lives, goddammit! We need to split. I can't do this shit anymore!" your bassist had said, tears in their eyes.

Twenty minutes later, Monte found you crying in the bathroom. He insisted on you getting a drink with him.

He said that he came to the bar on accident, having no idea you were performing (which you didn't believe although you didn't know how he found out you were performing) and got worried when you didn't go on stage to take your guitar which was now resting on your lap.

You weren't sure if it was because of the alcohol or the band's break up but you told Monte everything about it.

He helped you get home. You realised that maybe he wasn't that bad after all and you had a lot in common.

You offered him to come into your apartment if he wished.

He agreed. You both drank more, you tried to teach him how to play the guitar, then played some of your songs and cried some more.

The next day you found him passed out on your couch.

On Tuesday you got a letter saying that a record company really liked your last performance!

You phoned the other two band members and told them about it.

That evening, Monte looked at you expectantly. You just knew he was behind all of it but you didn't care. That was what your band had been waiting for years! It was a start and at that point, you didn't care how you got into the music business(however, you regretted telling your band members years later).

You agreed to marry Monte.

You got along pretty well actually.

He wasn't lying when he said he liked you that first evening.

Eventually, he even moved in with you.

In the beginning, when you and your band went touring in the nearby cities, you took him with you, ignoring the budget you were on.

You didn't have a lot of money but he tried his best to make you fancy dinners.

"Will you marry me?" turned into a joke between you two.

It was never boring being around him. He had a lot of things to talk about and his brain always gave birth to weird ideas.

Once the band went big, articles about how you two met flooded the magazines and you both laughed a lot at some of the versions that you found.

[quietzap]

https://www.tumblr.com/wh0re-behavi0r/722846786374565888?source=share

Have you seen this clip yet? Any thoughts? I do get tired of people asking about 1D questions in general but it's interesting nonetheless - Joey/wh0re_behavi0r

Hello! I have yes. Yeah most 1D questions are annoying now lol! Well. This is gonna be a little bit long but please read till the end to understand my point of view. Things are still shady to me. I mean first he left to be a normal 22 years old with Perrie (whom he'd been seen cheating on a couple days before and obviously the sun got the exclusive). Then it was bc of anxiety and he needed time to himself. Then it was coz 1D wasn't for him and the music wasn't his thing and he didn't get along anymore with some of the boys. Now, on top of the boys getting sick of each other, it's mainly bc he wanted to be the first to go solo (implying he knew the end of 1D was coming and/or that at least one of the boys was planning to go solo). He said people didn't want to sign a contract but we all knew the boys weren't signing with syco again. Also the narrative was that H asked for a hiatus, everyone (except Zayn apparently) trusted him it'd only be a break but then he signed with the azoffs whom he'd been close to since like 2013. Also idk if you remember but Zayn actually left on March 19th to go back to the UK to rest bc of stress. So then.. if his plan was actually to leave to go solo, why didn't he leave just then and there? Why make it sound like he was coming back after the Manila and Jakarta shows if he knew he was leaving for good? As you can see, there's been several different versions for him leaving over the years.

But anyway there's still many things I don't understand. First, why had the boys already shot promo adverts etc without Zayn around 5/6 months before he left. If Zayn didn't actually leave bc of anxiety (he didn't mention it as a reason on the podcast) but bc he wanted to go solo first, why didn't he stay for the rest of the Asian shows and then wait after the Dubai show to leave? In interviews and on twitter he'd said he was so excited for these shows and that it meant a lot to him to go there and the Muslim fans were so excited to see him. So why couldn't he do these 3 more shows before leaving? Now you might say, maybe he was so sick of everything that he didn't think he could even perform anymore and felt the urge to get out of there? But then... How come Simon Cowell and his label/team, who are known to make their artists perform while sick, while injured and mentally and physically unwell (as seen with 1D, Little Mix, Rebecca Ferguson etc) and known to give their artists meds and all kinds of things to force them to perform, suddenly decided out of the kindness of his heart to let Zayn go in the middle of a tour esp the last tour before the end of the band? Now people could say Cowell let him go and then sabotaged him later on with a smear campaign and blacklisting but you're telling me... Zayn, who was seemingly the only one to notice what H was doing, didn't realise Cowell would stab him in the back? After all these years being treated horribly? Or that he preferred to sacrifice lots of money (breach of contract) and his public image and his music being sabotaged for god knows how long, bc he couldn't wait a few more months? There were only several months left of tour so why not hang on until then? Why did Zayn have to leave to go solo when he could've still released solo music first once 1D ended? And if he could leave so easily then why didn't Harry leave the band to release music? Why didn't they let Liam leave the band or at least rest for a while when he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown? Also why did Pillowtalk come out under Simco, Simon Cowell's company? Why were the 1DHQ reps with Zayn at the Asian Awards? And why did the narrative with the boys change so much with the boys and Zayn saying they still talked and loved each other, then they didn't and phone numbers were changed, then they made up, then they didn't talk anymore etcetc it was inconsistent for ages!

So yeah anyway there are many things I will never understand when it comes to Zayn leaving. And I've seen my fair share of band members leaving various bands/boybands/girlbands and I've never seen so much shadiness lol.

(Tagging you so you get the notif! @wh0re-behavi0r)

[thwackamabob]

I wrote this after writing a whole angry thing where I got combative over stupid shit on the internet, which isn't useful or fun for anyone involved, so instead i'm just going to be positive: If you only listen to ultra-massive pop stars (taylor swift, harry styles that sorta level. People who only play stadiums. Yes that includes artists who don't sell loads of albums but are massively popular live (which is a whole other thing i'm not getting into here)), try and find other artists who don't. Who play smaller venues for less money, and if they're local, usually way more often. I'm not saying this out of some sort of "grrrr pop is bad" thing, I'm saying this because if you find someone you like, you will have a much better and cheaper time being a fan of them. From a quick google, the restricted seated tickets on Harry's last tour were £62 once you add in all the fees, with things going up from there to around £300 for the most expensive. I am seeing my personal favourite band next year for £40 including fees. That is for standing right near the front of an arena, and it is the single most expensive gig I have been to in the last 5 years. One of my all-time top 3 gigs was £9 in what is basically just a cafe's basement. And that's not 50 years ago pre-inflation or whatever, that was about a month ago. The music industry isn't a meritocracy, you need to be good to ""make it"" (and ""making it"" often means you have time and resources you wouldn't have if you didn't) but it's mostly luck (and the occasional bit of nepotism). I see people say constantly that they wish they were old enough to experience their faves when they were young and relatively underground, and whilst that's not possible, there are artists who you will love and some who will one day be like that for the next generation who are playing in a sweaty bar somewhere. Additionally, if you're of a more leftist persuasion, the money from these gigs isn't going through massive promotors and ticket companies to artists who, quite frankly, could live forever off of what they've already earned, it's going to allowing people to devote a little bit more of their time towards making art instead of scrabbling for survival. If the artist is small enough (let's say below 500 cap venues?) when you buy merch, they'll probably be selling it themselves, so if you want to say hi, you just... can. idk how to end this. basically, support smaller artists? it's better for them and for you?

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Lashton 'Enemies/Friends To Lovers' Masterlist

Enemies to Lovers:

Bleeding heart (ao3) - exhiled_spirit M, 35k

Summary: Time changes. Some would say that all of his wishes came true and in some way they did. That's why he stopped wishing upon the stars like he did when he was a naive child. Because all those wishes led him up to this moment in time. A time where Luke stopped wishing upon a star and instead felt himself become one. Each and every day he felt his mind leaving his body and float away. It's only a matter of time now until he's leaving the atmosphere and becomes a floating rock himself. A rock without its glow, just a cold hard rock that no one sees and cares about. 

Or Luke's past relationship haunts his ever waking moment and everything comes crashing down during the highly anticipated Meet You There Tour.

Fine Print - @daydadahlias​​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) M, 61k

Summary: If Michael says Ashton Irwin will be a good bodyguard then sure, Luke will put his money on Ashton being a good bodyguard. Besides, all Luke needs is a shadow. So what if he doesn’t like him?

Who ever cared about liking their shadow anyway?

or the one where Luke is a heartbroken solo artist who can't sleep and Ashton is his less-than-enthusiastic bodyguard

Honeysuckle - @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) luke/ashton E, 28k

Summary: it's the 1970s, Ashton is a homophobic lead singer and Luke is the new gay roadie on tour with his band.

i feel the wind in my hair, chasing after you (ao3) - hideforalifetime luke/ashton G, 18k

Summary: Luke works more than he should, is paid less than he should be for the amount of hours he works, goofs off at lunch with Calum, goes home to his dog Petunia in the evening and watches whatever’s on HBO. Then he does it all over again. And he’s sick of it. He wants a change. He wants to be the guy he was in college, free of all worries like rent and bills and all that bullshit. Just walking from class to the dorm to the bar, and every weekend, he’d go off on his own, just him and his motorbike. 

Or, the one where workaholic, control freak biker Luke Hemmings meets the most laid back guy he's ever seen. And he's hot, which is a plus.

Le Chatelier's Principle (ao3) - LyricalPary (hoseoky) luke/ashton, michael/calum E, 54k

Summary: Ever since being promoted to head waiter, Luke had had one problem that came in the form of a six foot, curly-headed, hazel eyed demon. And by demon, he meant his frustratingly stubborn, unfairly attractive co-worker, Ashton Irwin.

there’s no need to run and hide (when the world leaves a scar) - (haveufoundwhatyourlookingfor) luke/ashton, michael/calum T, 10k

Summary: Luke is a new intern, and he gets along with pretty much everyone he works with. Well, everyone except for Ashton Irwin. Ashton is cold, and doesn’t give him the time of day. Certain events keep on bringing the two together whether they like it or not, and eventually, Luke finds out why Ashton is so cold.

You'll Be Stuck On It Cause My Love's So Good (ao3) - senioritastyles luke/ashton E, 15k

Summary: Luke and Ashton are football buddies until they're not and then they are again and then they're not and---okay, you get it.

you tell me you're tipsy, i tell you you're pretty (ao3) - orphan_account luke/ashton, michael/calum E, 13k

Summary: Luke and Ashton wake up married during a weekend in Vegas

Friends to Lovers:

'I'm already something, to someone I dont know' (ao3) -Forbiddenmichael G, 5k

Summary: luke has been in love with his best friend for so long, and now the time to tell ashton his feelings has long since past

Snow in Love (ao3) - plushyluke luke/ashton, michael/calum T, 7k

Summary: "in that cold instant, ashton put his hands back on the steering wheel. watching him back out of the parking space was torment. luke felt like there was a beast inside of him, clawing and desperate to be set free. aching to get ashton alone. to spend a second with him uninterrupted."

or ashton takes the 5sos boys on a snowy vacation, and luke is disappointed that it wasn't an opportunity to hook up.

Stage Lights (ao3) - @ashtcnirwin (elivigar) luke/ashton E, 14k

Summary: No, beyond the initial surprise the sting of arousal brought him, Ashton doesn’t worry about his apparent interest in penises and what said interest might mean. Maybe it means nothing at all, maybe it means he’s not as straight as he’s been led to believe up until this point in time. Whether it’s option one, option two or something in between, Ashton doesn’t really care.

But why did the penis that made him question everything have to be Luke’s?

the kids will be alright, eventually (ao3) - wafflelashton T, 45k

Summary: ashton falls in love with his best friend, luke, and is somehow the last to know.

Warm On A Cold Night (ao3) - LyricalPary (hoseoky) T, 6k

Summary: In retrospect, Luke probably shouldn’t have offered to give Ashton a ride. He knows that now, thanks to the awkward silence and the nerves in the pit of his belly. But at the same time, what was he supposed to do? Leave Ashton standing out there in the harsh cold of winter? Of course not. Good people don’t do such things, and Luke likes to think of himself as a fairly good guy.

(Or, Luke and Ashton get stuck during a snow storm. But, maybe it's not as terrible as it seems.)

We're Our OTP (ao3) - felixandtae N/R, 20k

Summary: Where Ashton and Luke make a YouTube channel together and eventually fall in love after they do challenges, tags, and Vlogs.

when did the diamonds leave your bones (ao3) - orphan_account luke/ashton E, 41k

Summary: It should be embarrassing, the way Ashton’s looking at him right now, but it’s much better than the last one he gave him; one of pure hurt, like he could never be forgiven for what he’d done. If Ashton still hates him—if he ever did, and Luke suspects he might have—he’s at the very least not letting it show.

“Do you want—something?” Luke asks, gesturing behind himself towards the kitchen, but he’s not entirely sure if that’s what he’s asking.

“Can I stay here for a few days?”

(or, eighteen months into an indefinite hiatus, Ashton shows up on Luke's doorstep and moves into his spare room.)

you can hear it in the silence (ao3) - fakecharliebrown T, 23k

Summary: Ashton turns to look at Luke then. He doesn’t speak right away, appearing to consider his next words very carefully. He opens and closes his mouth several times, before finally, he says, “Do you think it’ll all work out for us?”

Luke hums softly. His head is angled in such a way that Petunia imagines he’s looking at their intertwined hands behind his dark sunglasses when he admits in a quiet voice, “I think it already has, Ash.”

Ashton squints at him for less than a second before he turns to face forward, closing his eyes against the bright afternoon sun, and says, “Yeah. I think you’re probably right.”

or; Petunia loves her boy more than anything in the world. When the world shuts down, she realizes that she might not be the only one.

[grapenehifics]

Chapter 28, or, Why is this called Solsbury Hill, anyway?

(Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40473339/chapters/106269252#workskin)

Caveat: I have not actually fact-checked this story. This is how it was told to me, and I think most of it is true, but if it has gotten embellished in the retelling, well...I'm not about to let the truth get in the way of a good story, is what I'm saying.

Sometime in the 1970's, there was this prog rock band called Genesis. And, for a prog rock band, they were pretty big, and getting bigger all the time. Eventually they got big enough that they went on a tour of not just the UK (where they were from), but also the US. And while on this US tour, their singer and main songwriter, Peter Gabriel, told the rest of the band that, hey, just FYI, guys, when we get back home I'm going to quit the band.

The rest of his bandmates were like, uh???? What are you talking about, we've never been more popular! We're selling out stadiums, people are buying our albums...this is everything we've worked for our whole lives, and it's finally paying off, and NOW you want to quit? That's insane. What are you even going to do??

And Peter's like, well, my wife back home just had a baby, and I'd like to spend some time with my daughter. Like, not record, and definitely not tour. Just be there with my family. And then, eventually, maybe, I'll go back into the studio and record a solo album. I'm just not feeling fulfilled, musically, with you guys anymore.

(Which his band also didn't understand because, um, he already was writing most of their songs? What more creative control could he possibly need?)

So they finished out the US leg of their tour and Peter returned home and quit the band. Genesis went on without him - their drummer, Phil Collins, replaced him as lead vocalist - and continued on to have a bunch more hits throughout the 80s and even into the 90s, although they were definitely accused of eventually straying from their prog rock roots and leaning a little more pop/soft rock by the end.

After a year or so, Peter did get back into the studio, as he said he would, and he recorded his first solo album, which he just called Peter Gabriel. The second track on that album is called Solsbury Hill.

The lyrics to this song are...really quite blatantly about Peter's experience leaving Genesis. Like, it's not at all subtle. It's a song about having something that is, objectively...fine. It's not great, it's not exactly what you want, but you're getting by, and you feel bad about complaining because there's nothing outright wrong about it.

And everyone you know would think you were nuts for walking away...which in the story was entirely true, the rest of Genesis and a lot of their fans were totally baffled by this decision and thought he was betraying the group and being ungrateful and swore to never support him again.

So walking away would have a lot of negative consequences. The safe play would just be to stay, and suck it up and live with it. Leaving could go really badly, and you could end up worse than you are now. Like, that's a chance you're taking.

But it's also a song about a very un-commercial decision. Maybe going solo would fail. Maybe he'd never sell another album again. But he also chose to quit Genesis so he could spend more time with his family. And not selling any more albums wouldn't change that. It's about choosing people over money - and obviously there's a lot of privilege there, he already had a bunch of Genesis money, it wasn't like he was risking abject poverty - and choosing to be in control of your own destiny, even if no one else shares your vision. Like, okay, maybe no one would want his album, but at least it would be exactly the album he wanted to make.

It didn't end up flopping, by the way. Peter Gabriel has continued to release albums, and tour, ever since. He takes his (now grown) daughters with him when he tours.

So, all of that is a very belabored metaphor for Anakin's decision to walk out on the Olympic trials. It wasn't a decision that made objective sense - it's the biggest event in swimming, and Anakin looked at it and said, nah, no thanks, I know I worked for this and for nothing else but this for years but I don't actually want it, I'm going to go see my friends now. And this is a decision that comes, oh, a third or a fourth of the way through this story. The whole rest of it - the everything after - is about how do you find success in a life where you rejected everything that mainstream society tells you is success. Anakin turned down fame and money and Olympic medals so that he could...what? By this point in the story all he's done is sit in a hospital bed. But that's why he tells that reporter exactly what he does - "I am happier now, in this hospital bed, than I have been at any point in the last three years."

I realize that, in real life, we have to make compromises all the time. I, like most people, work a job that I don't love, but it's fine, so that I can keeping making my rent and putting food on the table. We don't all get the chance to reject something big, because we don't get the opportunity to have anything big to say no to in the first place. And that's fine! But this is the story I wanted to tell. That as we get older, we start to realize the things in our life that truly matter - and therefore, by extension, what things in our lives truly DON'T matter - and become more okay with the fact that this might not match what society or even our friends think should matter.

This isn't a story I would have, or could have, written ten or even five years ago. But it's the story that resonates with me now.

[homebody-nobody]

Can you share someone of your favourite enemies to lovers books? Also I loved the new jiara fic, you never disappoint 👏🏽

omg thank you!! I worked on it in so many fits and starts, I wasn't super satisfied with what I put out, so I really appreciate that!!

ummm.... enemies to lovers books.... so I read fantasy and contemporary romance the most, so I'll demarcate based on genre

(oops this got long so see below the cut)

for fantasy: Fourth Wing, Rebecca Yarros - this book is MAD controversial because so many people were like 'I simply do not get the hype.' Anon, I got it. I agree that the writing and worldbuilding has flaws but also I'm an SJM fan so like, I'm here for dragons and romance, not airtight fantasy worldbuilding and poetic writing. Xaden and Violet have literally the most deliciously toxic relationship and it fills me with much joy.

Divine Rivals - Rebecca Ross when I tell you I *gobble gobble gobble* ATE this book up!! The world is really unique and interesting, the rivals are truly divine, and I loved the fantasy premise -- a soft fantasy/magical realism world where the tech is legend of korra-esque and magic has depleted but still hides in delightful corners. Like, magical typewriters??? phenomenal. The love story is VERY compelling and the plot had me gasping and nearly crying til the end. Once you've read this one, make sure you've got 'Ruthless Vows' (the sequel) ready to go!!

Also, honorable mentions to Guarded Treasure [Mae Lovette] (a The Mummy (1999) inspired potato chip read my sister got my mom for Christmas that I read on Kindle Unlimited and thoroughly enjoyed) and Cities of Smoke and Starlight [Alli Earnest] that I am reading slowly but surely that has a fun world to hang out in but just hasn't held my attention. (The author advertises as a dynamic inspired by anya/demitri in childhood favorite 'Anastasia' and I'm not saying she's wrong but I have yet to see it. But other readers seem to love it!!)

for contemporary romance:

Anything Ali Hazelwood. LISTEN!!! I know. I know, okay! I know she's Sarah Dessen, vol. 2, but she made the jump from fanfiction writer to MASSIVELY successful romance writer so maybe we all have something to learn from her!! Also, she writes enemies to lovers with different characters falling in love in different ways every time, and it's comfortable for my auDHD ass that likes to know how things will end. Yes, I've read all of her books, and here's how I rank them --

Love, Theoretically Elsie, newly graduated PhD fights for a prestigious job at MIT, while her ultimate rival and physics nemesis, Jonathan Smith-Turner sits smugly on the hiring committee. Except, he's a lot hotter than she thought he would be. And he's also the brother of the guy she's been fake-dating for money bc adjunct professors make dick and diabetic physics proteges need insulin and cheese to live. I literally go back and read my favorite pieces of this book when I'm in a reading slump/missing my boyfriend when he's on tour with his band. 10/10. Some catastrophically silly moments but like, we aren't here for the next literary classic.

Bride is it published omegaverse fanfic reminsicent of the self-insert days of livejournal yore? yes. yes it is. It's also a pleasure to read, laugh-out-loud funny and a novel take on supernatural romance, bringing in elements of SJM's Crescent City, Twilight, and a touch of omegaverse. As a treat. Even if you're not into A/B/O dynamics usually, (I'm not), I would still rec this book. It's more supernatural romance and relies on the reader knowing nothing about omegaverse lore -- baby's first omegaverse smut, if you will.

Loathe to Love you this is a MAJOR shoutout to her UNDERAPPRECIATED short story collection!! Ali's niche is Educated Women in STEM ready to destroy asshole STEMlords that want nothing more than seeing them fail, and this anthology has THREE engineers fighting for recognition in a sexist world and falling in love along the way. The last one, 'Below Zero', is my favorite !!

Love on the Brain Another disabled protagonist that really needs to checked for Ehlers-Danlos and POTS but lives undiagnosed after my own heart. Bee, a hopeless romantic with an odd attachment to Marie Curie, has the opportunity of a lifetime with NASA -- except her grad school nemesis is co-leading the project. People criticize the 2014-esque fashion choices of the FMC, forgetting that the book came out DURING that era of fashion, and would have been the HEIGHT of cool, in fact. The love interest in this one is def my fave, and there's a very large, very improbable, and thrilling twist right there on the end.

Check & Mate Ali's foray into YA, about a chess prodigy returning to the world of professional chess after dropping from the public eye in her adolescence rises fast and is a favorite to beat 'the bad boy of chess', who is DEFINITELY an asshole and cold and emotionless... right? Liked it, but I'm just not the target audience for YA anymore and I adore Ali's smut, which she obvs did not write for the two 18 yr old protags. But still good!

The Love Hypothesis. Yes, I've read it. And yes, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But it's still painfully obvious as published reylo fic and also Ali crosses some hideous lines about bio/chem lab safety in this book that I simply cannot forgive her for. Also, since it's her debut, it's just not as good as the rest of her work.

As I've already written probably FAR more than anon was looking for, I'll spit out the rest of my contemporary romance enemies-to-lovers recs and be on my way

It Happened One Summer, Tessa Bailey (the sequel is not EtL but imo is better)

Enemies with Benefits, Roxie Noir (all 5 loveless brothers are excellent potato chip reads, but only the first is EtL)

Icebreaker, Hannah Grace (obviously)

The Hating Game, Sally Thorne (a pioneer, in its own right)

Well Met, Jen DeLuca (again, her whole series is PHENOM - I mean, renaissance faire themed romance series?? what's not to love?? She's a small author that doesn't have NEAR enough hype as she should and I met her in person last year at the MD ren faire. she is SO nice and SO cool so I def rec the entire series, but only Well Met is EtL)

ANYWAY, thank you for your lovely praise, and let me know if you read anything on this list!!

[excusethequality]

My 2023 in Film

Part 5: 201-250

I was nearly done with this section before I remembered that my October movie gauntlet began in this chunk...Which meant I had already written descriptions of the spooky ones for those posts I did in October! I also saw that some of those were better than I ones I had just written, so I went ahead and stole from myself.

Link to Part I

Link to Part II

Link to Part III

Link to Part IV

* = rewatched

[++] = I loved it [+] = I liked it [=] = I am indifferent about it [-] = Not my thing [--] = I hate it

Click on the list number to get a trailer for it.

201.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006) * ---Sports Comedy

A hotshot NASCAR racer must rediscover his passion for racing after a new racer comes to town and knocks him off his pedestal. [++]

202.

Fremont (2023) ---Drama Comedy

Donya is a former translator for the U.S. military in Afghanistan who is now living as a refugee in Fremont, California. Lonely and struggling to come to terms with her new life she decides to try and make a connection. [+]

203.

Brewster's Millions (1985) * ---Comedy

A minor league baseball pitcher named Monty Brewster is a given a bizarre opportunity: a chance at 300 million dollars. But in order to get it he must successfully spend 30 million dollars in 30 days without giving it away, gambling it away, or gaining anything tangible from it. [+]

204.

Little Big League (1994) * ---Children's Sports Comedy

A 12-year-old inherits the Minnesota Twins baseball team and decides to make himself the general manager. [+]

205.

How to Train Your Dragon (2010) * ---Animated Fantasy Adventure

In a land where everyone wants dragons dead, one young man dares to try and befriend one. [+]

206.

Step Brothers (2008) * ---Comedy

Two juvenile grown men who live at home are about to get forced together when their parents get married. [+]

207.

Certified Copy (2010) ---Relationship Drama

While in Tuscany for a book tour a British author takes a drive with a French antique dealer. A look at the nature of relationships, art, authenticity, and how the nature of those things can change over time. [-]

208.

Game Night (2018) *

see #167

209.

Redline (2009) ---Animated Sci-Fi Sports

A racer from the streets attempts to win the biggest underground car race in the galaxy. [=]

210.

Tigers Are Not Afraid (2017) * ---Coming-of-Age Magical-Realism Horror

An urban fairy tale about a group of orphans who band together to try and survive in a city being destroyed by the cartels amidst the Mexican drug war. [++]

211.

Dumplings (2004) ---Horror

An aging movie star hears a rumor of a woman who makes dumplings that can make you look young again. But when she learns how they're made she must decide just how important looks are to her. [+]

212.

You're Next (2011) * ---Home-Invasion Horror

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' anniversary party only to learn that the family has just been targeted by a group of killers. [++]

213.

Skinamarink (2022) ---Experimental Horror

A young brother and sister wake up in the night to find that their parents are gone and all the doors and windows in the house have disappeared. [-]

214.

The Thing from Another World (1951) ---Sci-Fi Creature Horror

A military base at the North Pole discovers a crashed alien spaceship and are subsequently attacked by an alien plant monster. [-]

215.

Dave of the Dead (2020) ---Animated Crime Against Humanity

You don't need to know what this is about, because this is currently in last place on my list ranking everything I've watched this year. Dead last in a group of over 300 movies. And I know that nothing seems to make people want to see a movie than someone saying they think it's a worst of the worst, but I can assure you that it is not fun bad; it is just bad bad. I have no idea why anyone in their right mind would have ever paid real money to create such a thing.

If you don't believe me go ahead and try to watch it (no multi-tasking) and you see how long you can last before your brain starts to atrophy and you regret even attempting it. Then report back to me so I can say, "I told you so." [--]

216.

The She Beast (1966) ---Horror

A long-dead witch possesses the body of a newly married woman who was on a road trip for her honeymoon. [-]

217.

Bell, Book and Candle (1958) ---Fantasy Romance

Just to be petty, a modern-day witch enchants her neighbor to fall in love with her. [=]

218.

Doll Shark (2022) ---Horror Comedy

The ghost of a killer shark goes into the body of shark plushie in order to get revenge and continue its reign of terror. [-]

219.

An American Werewolf in London (1981) * ---Horror Comedy

Two American friends are backpacking in Europe when they are attacked by a werewolf. [+]

220.

Dr Jekyll & Sister Hyde (1971) ---Queer Horror

Dr. Jekyll is investigating a hypothesis that female hormones could be the secret to extending ones life. When testing his theory he learns that this hormone cocktail temporarily transforms him into a woman they name Mrs. Hyde. But while Jekyll wants to continue refining his experiments, Hyde begins to become discontent with being hidden away and she is determined to take over as the dominate personality. [++]

221.

Puppet Shark (2023) ---Anthology Horror Comedy

An anthology film about killer sharks told entirely through puppets. [--]

222.

Son of Dracula (1943) ---Horror Drama

An heiress in Louisiana invites a vampire who may or may not be Count Dracula to town only to learn that he has his own fiendish plans for this new world. [-]

223.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1920) ---Horror Drama

Dr. Jekyll fears the danger of man's evil impulses. To keep himself pure he invents a way to separate someone's good aspects from their bad. However he must soon find a way to reverse it when his evil side starts to get a little too evil. [=]

224.

The Bewitched Inn (1897) ---Spooky Short Film

A weary traveler wants nothing more than to get some rest at an inn, but discovers his room is haunted. [+]

225.

The X-Ray Fiend (1897) ---Spooky Short Film

An x-ray machine gives us a peak at people's insides. [+]

226.

Titane (2021) ---Queer Drama and Body Horror

A dancer with a fetish for cars must pretend to be a missing boy in order to hide from the police. [+]

227.

The Girl from the Other Side (2022) *

See #22

228.

Dr. Terror's House of Horrors (1965) ---Anthology Horror

A fortune teller reads the dark fortunes of the other occupants of his train car. [=]

229.

Werewolf by Night (2022) ---Action Fantasy

A group of monster hunters are gathered for a contest to see who will inherit an artifact of great power. [=]

230.

I Blame Society (2020) ---Comedy Horror

An out-of-work filmmaker wants to prove to everyone that they've been underestimating her by making a movie about how she would plan a perfect murder, but things quickly get out of hand. [++]

231.

Los Reyes (2018) ---Documentary

What began as a documentary about the kids that frequent a skate park in Los Reyes becomes a look into the lives of Chola and Fútbol: two street dogs that make their home there. [++]

232.

Bluebeard (1944) ---Crime Horror

A painter who feels compelled to kill the beautiful women he paints tries to fight these urges by making puppet shows instead. [-]

233.

Escape Room (2017) ---Horror

A group of rich friends go to an exclusive escape room for a birthday party, but soon learn that this one could be deadly. [-]

234.

Prey (2022) * ---Sci-Fi Horror Adventure

In 1917 a Comanche woman sets out on a trial to prove her worth as a warrior by hunting something that's hunting her. But she is soon to discover that her prey is far more dangerous than she could have ever imagined. [++]

235.

Astonishing Tales of Terror: Rocktapussy! (2022) ---Comedy Horror

An investigative journalist, an out of work miner, and assorted others must stop an evil being that was accidentally unleashed during a mining test. [-]

236.

The Demon (1963) ---Horror Drama

In a small Italian village a woman is treated as an outcast and believed to be a witch. But if you're already being mistreated for being a witch, what's to stop you from trying witchcraft? [=]

237.

Sea Fever (2019) ---Horror

An Irish fishing boat becomes stranded at sea when their ship encounters a strange creature. [+]

238.

Maximum Overdrive (1986) ---Horror

When machines start trying to kill people a group of survivors find themselves trapped in gas station by a pack of killer semi trucks. [-]

239.

Atanarjuat: The Fast Runner (2001) ---Fantasy Drama

The ancient Inuit legend of brothers, spirits, revenge, curses, true love, and more. [++]

240.

Rhymes for Young Ghouls (2013) *

See #46

241.

The Witch Who Came from the Sea (1976) ---Drama Horror

An alcoholic woman's trauma from her childhood drives her to act out in increasingly wild and deadly ways. [=]

242.

I Married a Witch (1942) ---Fantasy Romance

A witch and her father are released from their ancient imprisonment and seek to wreck havoc on the world. But things get tricky when a spell goes awry and she falls in love with a human. [=]

243.

The Monster Club (1981) ---Anthology Horror

A horror author saves a starving vampire and is invited back to his favorite club as a gesture of gratitude. [-]

244.

Intruder (1989) * ---Horror

Things go from bad to worse when the overnight crew at the local supermarket finds themselves trapped inside with a murderer. [+]

245.

Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995) * ---Comedy Horror

A Mel Brooks spoof of the story of Dracula. [-]

246.

I Was a Teenage Wereskunk (2016) ---Horror Comedy

An homage to the drive-in horror movies of the 50s about a boy who is bitten by a skunk and starts turning into a murderous wereskunk whenever he gets aroused. [=]

247.

The Devil's Backbone (2001) ---Horror Drama

In the last days of the Spanish Civil War, a young orphan is left at an orphanage that's hanging on by a thread. But he soon learns that evil doesn't just lurk outside the walls when he a discovers a ghostly presence that haunts the halls. [+]

248.

Spirit Halloween: The Movie (2022) ---Kids Horror

A group of kids decide to spend Halloween night in the scariest place they can think of: a Spirit Halloween store! [=]

249.

Arachnophobia (1990) * ---Creature Horror

A rare and deadly spider winds up in a small American town where it proceeds to turn all the spiders in town into its minions. The local doctor better get over his fear of spiders fast if he's going to be able to save anyone. [=]

250.

Tales from the Hood (1995) ---Anthology Horror

A mysterious funeral director tells 4 spooky tales to the group of drug dealers that visit him one night. [+]

[octuscle]

Tim and Tim swap lives

When he started his traineeship at the local newspaper, Tim had rather hoped to report on exhibition openings or opera premieres for the feature section. That was more his world. But his first job was an interview with a heavy-metal singer who had become a bit of a has-been. The singer had made headlines recently for his marital violence and his drug and alcohol excesses. Tim had had a fetish for heavy metal in the past. Sweaty singers in tight leather pants. To the Twisted Sisters video of "We're not gonna take it" he had jerked off more than once. Good suburban boys who become rock stars. That had already been to his liking. But everything he'd researched about his interviewee beforehand indicated that he'd been hot a long time ago. Now his best days were long gone. Oh well, it was a job. And he was just the volunteer. He had probably also been chosen only because the singer's name was also Tim.

For the interview, Tim had picked out some hopefully suitable clothes from his brother. And so he waited in the backstage area to finally be able to conduct the interview. The manager had led him to the dressing room, put a Coke in front of him, and walked out angrily ranting. "Where is that drunken piece of shit again?" heard Tim yelling him. After more than an hour, the door opened and the band's lead singer staggered through the door. He grunted something like a hello and disappeared directly into the restroom. Tim heard his interview partner vomit first. And then snore. Tim carefully opened the door. And the singer was lying in a puddle of vomit and urine, blissfully asleep. Shit, what was he supposed to do now? Wake him up? Seemed inappropriate to him. So Tim did something he should have done an hour ago: He answered his own written questions himself.

Question: They say your career is over. What do you plan to do to get back to your old successes?

Answer: Over? Now it's just getting started. I've been sober for a year, eat healthy and spend every free minute in the gym. I'm far from being at the end.

Energy coursed through Tim's young body. His muscles grew visibly.

Question: But financially you are at the end. Is it true that the private bankruptcy had to file?

Answer: Fuck, I've spent a lot of money on shit in the last few years. The tattoos alone have cost me a fortune. And I've had bad advisors. But with my new manager, things will pick up again. I also have a responsibility for the band, which is my family.

Tim's flawless skin began to discolor in various places. Tattoos formed and began to cover his entire upper body.

Question: Why this late change of heart? You've been in the business for decades, right?

Answer: Decades? Kid, you're exaggerating. I've been living heavy metal body and soul since I was 16. That's not even 20 years.

Tim aged in seconds. He was no longer 22 but 34. His hair had grown into a long mat. His skin definitely showed traces of many excessive parties. But he still radiated a lot of energy and masculinity.

Question: A final private question: What do you say to the accusations of violence against your wife.

Answer: (Loud laughter) Are you kidding me? I married that bitch for the press. Never touched her. For years I've only fucked the asses of hot reporters like you.

Of course Tim couldn't write it like that. No one would believe it. But only snoring continued to come out of the toilet. Tim didn't think he would be able to do the interview. He pressed save and closed his laptop. At that moment, he heard the toilet flush. His young and crisp interview partner came out. "Any more questions, boy?" he asked. "No, thank you very much for this very frank interview. I wish you all the best as you restart your career." replied the lad from the local paper. Tim had needed to get that off his chest. That felt good. Now the tour could go on. But before he went on stage, he desperately needed to relieve some pressure. "All the best to you, too, boy. Now come and get your reward, groupie." Tim unbuttoned his leather jeans. And the other Tim got down on his knees.

The concert was a huge success. A legend was back. But the sensation was the article by a young local editor about the singer's coming out.