#like literally i was in chat and i suddenly felt motivation to write after 2 months of radio silence thats how good she is

[youaremysunshine-court]

Started following a dom on twitch and I am learning some truths about myself

[cobaltusami]

Tropical Vacation pt. 1

Hey hi hello! So I'm going to be starting to post the 50 follower special over the course of this week, I have proof read 10,000 words worth of writing so hopefully by the time I have all the parts already written posted, I'll have the rest of it done or almost done!

There aren't any real tickles In this part because I was setting up for the rest of the story, but there's a close encounter near the end. Next part will have lots of tickles!

Characters In this part: Makoto, Leon, Mondo, Chihiro, Taka, Sakura, Hina, Hiro, Celeste, Kyoko

Words: 1,944

PT 1: [You are here.], PT 2: [Click here.]

It was a normal day In Hope’s peak academy-- If there was ever such a thing. The students were gathered In the dining hall eating breakfast as they normally do and chatting amongst themselves.

The energy was pretty calm today, Hiro cheerfully pointed out upon arriving, only to be told not to jinx them.

But alas, all good things must come to an end.

“Hey, do you hear something?” Makoto asked hesitantly. Kyoko nodded and closed her eyes momentarily, focusing on the odd sound.

“It sounds like… Ocean waves.” She concluded, her lavender eyes scanning the room curiously.

“Ocean waves? Why would we be hearing the ocean?” Makoto pondered aloud.

“Hina, Is that not what It sounds like to you?” Kyoko asked the swimmer, who had perked up at the mention of the ocean.

“You’re totally right! I hear It too!” She agreed.

Leon looked to his left where a speaker was attached to a support beam. “It’s coming from over here. Don’t tell me, Monokuma…” he trailed off with a heavy sigh.

As if he were Beetlejuice and his name had been mentioned 3 times, a wild Monokuma appeared from out of seemingly nowhere. “I thought you students might benefit from a change in scenery! I wouldn’t want you getting TOO depressed, You might get too depressed to kill anyone!”

The whole room heaved a collective sigh. “For the last fuckin’ time, We aren’t going to kill one another! So you can go fuck yourself!” Mondo snapped.

“But Robots don’t have the right parts for that!” Monokuma retorted, looking dejected. “How could you be so cruel? Pointing out my insecurities like that…”

“Yeah yeah, This Is great banter and all but--” Leon wasn’t about to sit through another hour of Mondo and Monokuma going back and forth, not after the last time. “What the hell do you mean, ‘Change of scenery’?”

“Good question, Kirishima!” Monokuma responded. “Oh, Whoops, Wrong series!”

“Has Monokuma finally lost it?” Hiro whispered. “What’s he talking about? Series?”

“I dunno... Did Monokuma ever have It to begin with, Man?” Leon whispered back.

“Anyway!” Monokuma cleared his nonexistent throat. “I thought I would liven your surroundings up with some ambience for a while, What do you think? Pretty realistic huh? You can practically feel the ocean breeze right?”

Makoto exchanged glances with Kyoko, not trusting this little shit for a second. “That’s It?”

“What? Were you expecting more?” Monokuma asked, tilting his head.

“There’s not going to be like a shark In the pool or anything… Right? This is it?” Hina asked hesitantly.

“Don’t give him ideas.” Makoto said, exasperated.

“Eh? Why would I do that? I want you to kill each other, Not become shark bait!” The bear retorted. “If you don’t believe me, go check around the school. I don’t have time to explain my feng shui to you, I have places to be!”

As abruptly as he appeared, He disappeared In an annoyed huff. Leaving the dining hall confused.

“So, Does everyone else think he’s using paranoia as a motive again or Is It just me?” Leon asked in a deadpan tone, a few students nodded in agreement.

“I for one would welcome a change in pace! Perhaps he is legitimately concerned for our mental health!” Taka spoke up. “We should absolutely check out the school after breakfast to see what’s changed!”

“T-Taka… Bro…” Mondo sighed. “Monokuma don’t give a shit about us, This Is obviously a trick.”

“What did he mean by that?” Chihiro asked quietly. “He has places to be?”

“He was probably just bullshitting us as usual.” Leon replied.

Kyoko hummed quietly, skeptical. She had also caught that unusual dialog line.

“Let us finish breakfast and then go look around.” Celeste suggested, taking a sip of her tea.

Everyone agreed and the energy of the room returned to It’s previous lightheartedness.

Upon exiting the room afterwards, the students noticed inflatable palm trees and random piles of sand scattered across the common area.

Makoto stared at the ‘decor’ In awkward silence, there’s no way it could be this harmless… right?

“It appears as though Monokuma really did do some redecorating…” Kyoko hummed thoughtfully, though not fully convinced of the remodel either.

“It’s…” Hina trailed off, an inflatable Monokuma wearing a grass skirt catching her eye.

“Tacky?” Leon suggested, kicking one of the Monokuma decorations out of his way.

She eyed a giant inflatable flamingo as she replied. “Kind of cute? I mean, At least It’s different.”

“Different, It certainly Is…” Sakura mumbled, sticking by Hina’s side just in case any of these inflatable beach toys decided to spring to life like Monokuma and try to attack the Swimmer.

“I think It looks fuckin’ stupid!” Mondo scoffed.

“Not just that, Monokuma has completely made a mess with all of this sand everywhere!” Taka seemed more outraged about the mess than the ominous looming threat.

“Sakura-- Look at that!” Hina pointed excitedly at a massive flamingo floaty. You could literally fit multiple people on it. “It’s so cute! I’m so gonna put this in the pool!”

“Hina, What do you need an inflatable this large for?” Sakura sighed. “You don’t even use them.”

“So that we can both chill on it together and pretend we’re at the beach, Duh!” Hina giggled, The martial artist couldn’t help but smile and shake her head at that.

She was about to say something in response but felt something light land on her head, She instinctively grabbed it and inspected it. It was a pink lei. “What the… Where did this come from?”

“The fuck?” Mondo grabbed a blue lei off of his shoulder.

Hina perked up as a yellow lei landed in her hands. She looked up in the direction It came from to see Chihiro standing atop a massive duck floaty that was similar in size to the flamingo. In their hands they had several more lei’s.

“Chihiro, where did you find those? These are so cute!” Hina squealed, happily putting the lei on.

Chihiro giggled. “I found them sitting in a box next to the door.” They replied, smiling.

Sakura and Mondo both looked up at Chihiro in silence for a moment as they both processed what they were looking at. But once they did…

“CHI!” Mondo yelled, alarmed.

“Chihiro!” Sakura gasped.

“Y-Yeah?” Chihiro asked meekly, startled by the unusual reaction from their friends.

“What are you doing up there??”

“Get down from there right now before ya fall and hurt yourself!”

“What are they now, Chihiro’s parents?” Leon asked, exasperated.

“I mean, If I had to pick anyone here to be my parents, I’d pick these two.” Makoto chuckled quietly.

Chihiro frowned and went to climb off of the duck’s head but they stumbled and squeaked as they went crashing towards the floor.

Mondo dove for the small programmer but Sakura had already seen they were gonna fall so she had taken off in their direction.

Sakura managed to catch them in her arms but didn’t anticipate Mondo also diving for them, she figured Mondo would have seen she was already on it but evidently not.

Mondo ended up colliding with Sakura and the two went tumbling to the floor, luckily Chihiro hadn’t been collateral because Sakura had just put them down.

“OW FUCK!”

“Ugh…”

Leon and Hiro both cracked up laughing at the two, but quickly stopped when Taka and Hina sent them death glares.

Mondo laid there, winded. His upper half was draped across Sakura, She had tried to catch him to break his fall but underestimated how much momentum he’d built up and they both ended up hitting the floor a few times whilst they tumbled.

“Oh no! Are you guys okay?!” Chihiro gasped, rushing over to them with teary eyes. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t think anyone would get hurt!”

“Hurt? Who says... we’re hurt?” Mondo tried to put the programmer at ease, mustering up a lopsided grin. “I’m fine, what about you Sakura?”

She was silent for a moment, Most likely also winded from hitting the floor so hard.

“Sakura?” Mondo repeated, pushing himself up off of her, his hand brushing against her side. Her eyes snapped open, suddenly very alert as she jerked upwards into a sitting position.

“Y-Yes. I’m fine too.” She blushed, her arms wrapping around herself self consciously.

Mondo made a confused face. “What’s wrong? Ya hit your head?”

“No, I… Nevermind.”

Chihiro’s face scrunched with confusion too as they replayed what had just happened in their head. Then they realized. “Ohh! I think I know!”

“What Is It?” The Biker asked, turning his head to look at the small student.

“I-It’s nothing. I suppose I’m just a little bit winded from you landing on me.” She said calmly, her face unreadable.

“Well… That could be too…” They mumbled, thinking over It more carefully.

Suddenly, Hina began laughing, as she had apparently figured out what happened. “Oh my god! Mondo! Dude she--”

“Hina!” Sakura interjected quickly, sensing danger. “Don’t even think about It!”

“Will someone just tell me what the fuck is going on!?” Mondo snapped.

“I can’t say It, Because Sakura might kill me If I do.” Hina snickered.

Chihiro sat down next to the Martial artist. “Are you hurt…?” they asked quietly, putting their hand carefully on her side.

She flinched visibly and looked at the small student, blushing. “N-No. I’m fine, Really.” she tried to reassure them. Because she was too busy worrying about Chihiro, she didn’t catch the look of realization across Mondo’s face. Ohhh and the evil grin that followed…

“Sakura, Don’t tell me…” Mondo grinned as the white haired student looked back at him. “Are you ticklish?”

She recognized the almost predatory look in his eyes, and quickly put distance between them by backing up then rising to her feet. “No.” she responded In a serious tone.

Mondo stood up and was slowly advancing towards the slightly nervous woman. “I think you’re lying~”

“Taka!” Sakura said suddenly. “I think Mondo’s bleeding.”

“What!?” Taka was quickly in front of his Kyoudai, checking him for injuries, also effectively standing in his way.

“Wh-what? No-- Taka I’m fine! She’s tricking you!” Mondo stammered, incredulous that Taka would fall for such an obvious trick.

“Trick or not, I need to make sure you’re okay!”

This gave Sakura a chance to get away from the biker, sneaking past back to the safety of her room.

Once Taka was sure that Mondo wasn’t bleeding, he backed off. “Ogami! This isn’t fuckin’ over!” He called down the hall in vain.

“I believe It Is!” She called back, Hina was nearly on the floor laughing her ass off.

“S-Sorry Kyoudai…” Taka meekly apologized.

Mondo sighed. “It’s fine. You were just worried.”

Taka was about to say something else but felt a lei being placed around his neck, he looked down at it in surprise. It was red to match his eyes. “Ch-Chihiro?” he stammered, turning around to face the Programmer.

“I saved the red one for you, there was only one in the box and I thought it would look the best on you.” They smiled.

Taka teared up at the kind gesture. “Th-Thank you! I shall treasure this for as long as I shall live!”

Chihiro giggled as they hugged the strict student, making him even more teary as he returned the hug.

“Using Taka against Mondo to escape Is really smart…” Leon said quietly to Makoto and Hiro.

“Yeah, How come we never thought of that?” Hiro replied.

“That would require you all to have a functioning brain in your heads.” Celeste smiled as they gave her pointed looks.

Kyoko smirked at this, apparently agreeing with Celeste’s sentiment.

[factual-fantasy]

Got 20 more asks, with some art this time! :}

Thank you! I’m very glad you like the way I draw them!

As to how I draw their glasses or any tips I have.. I just draw them exactly the way the show draws them, except they’re more square than rectangle.

Some tips?

Eyebrows go over the glasses, always. The little line coming down in the center of the glasses touches where the eyes connect. The bottom of the lenses go right about to the middle of the nose. Don’t make them too big, leave room for the eyebrows and the forehead. Make sure the glasses peek over the edge of the face, but don’t make them too wide, leave room for the sideburns and skin by the glasses arms. The glasses arms go right above where the ear connects to the head.

I would suggest looking up some references, from both the show and from other artists. My way of drawing glasses aren't perfect, but clearly they’re decent because you wanted to know how I draw them XD

Just do some research, look up some screen shots and try to redraw them. Heck, even trace them. Eventually you’ll find a way of drawing them that you like, like I did. :}

Oh! Thank you!.. But uh.. polite pass. I don’t drink coffee.. ●﹏●;

Thank you, for everything you’ve said.

I don’t think I’m okay anymore. I’ve been trying so hard to get my old self back, but its just not working. My energy, my motivation, my smile, everything, its just all gone. I’m so overwhelmed with all this doubt and uncertainty that I just don’t now how to function anymore.

Drawing is the only thing in my life I work towards and care about, and I am not exaggerating. But I’m loosing it. I don’t know how to do it anymore. I feel like pieces of my brain are slowly rotting away or something. I just fell awful and escaping to my little imaginary world isn’t working anymore.

Its like all the life is just getting sucked out of me. Although my new job is helping, I don't know if that’s going to be the cure. Peoples opinion of me weighs down so heavily on my shoulders that I hide my true self away in shame. I’m so afraid of being hated or upsetting anyone that you don't even know my real name.

I don't know what to do anymore. My memory is certainly getting worse and I have absolutely no drive to do anything other than drawing what so ever, and even THAT is starting to fail. I must be broken, like a shattered mirror, but I’m missing some pieces and don't even have a way to glue them back together if I somehow find them again anyway, so why even bother looking for them?

I just don’t know what to do anymore. Getting this job better fix it.

Of course! ♡ඩᴗඩ♡

Except for Big Blue. He’s “that guy is huge and can literally kick me to the moon” sized.

My Decepticons? In my brain soup currently. I haven’t found the energy or the motivation to draw them yet. 

In the story? They’re all aboard the nemesis as far as I have decided.

I actually don’t drink any hot beverages.. I don’t drink coffee, I’ve never had tea and hot chocolate makes my stomach queasy. I don’t even really drink milk. or sodas or anything else. I just drink water, only water. That’s enough for me.

As for the characters though? Well let me think... let me split it onto categories.

Tea drinkers:

Brown Suburban

Ranger 

Coffee drinkers:

Honda

A.T.Dragster

Hot chocolate drinkers:

Jeepy

White Truck

Miata

Beluga

U.M.Dragster

Both tea and coffee drinkers:

Escort

Suburban

Vega

Volvo

Green Truck

All of the above:

Beluga

None of the above:

Red Van

Hot Apple cider vinegar:

Bash Buggy

The primary reason why Bash Buggy was freaking out is because he was just scooped up off the ground out of no where.

He’s basically legally blind, so he didn’t instantly go, “Oh this is fine its just Brown Suburban.” He just went

Not that I can remember.. But I have made some AUs and I made a little brown puppy a part of one of them, does that count?

I have never played any of them myself.. but I have watched others play them and I have always liked watching them freak out over FNAF 2.

I also like FNAF 2 because it has almost all of my favorite characters in it. :} 

I believe Ratchet would’ve had to inject the Synthetic Energon into himself when Volvo wasn’t around, because Volvo certainly would’ve stopped him if he was there. Even if it meant wrestling Ratchet to the ground to get that stuff out of his hand.

But sadly, Ratchet would have been completely infected by the time Volvo would have been around. He would’ve probably found Ratchet on the floor when Raf was trying to wake him up.

At first he’d think that he was hurt, or had that same “heart attack” thing like Escort did. He would panic and try to wake him. Ratchet would stir and groan about them being so noisy or something. When Ratchet sits up and looks Volvo in the eyes is when he’d see it.

Volvo’s entire demeanor would change, and he’d just look devastated.

“Ratchet... y.. you didn’t...“ Raf would look up and ask, “Didn’t.. what?”

Volvo would be so overwhelmed with the realization of what Ratchet had done, that he couldn’t even really respond to Raf.

I cant remember the episode very well.. but I believe as the episode progressed, Volvo would be constantly following Ratchet around. He knows that this stuff very dangerous because its incomplete, but he doesn’t know what its going to do to Ratchet.

He would try to get Ratchet to chill out when ever he’s about to do something stupid, and would’ve been there to try and reason with him when he wanted to fight Bulkhead.

He would’ve been there when Optimus and the gang confronted them. Ratchet might’ve shot some nasty comment Volvo’s way and Volvo would’ve been hurt, but he also would’ve gotten a lot more worried about Ratchet too. Getting that nasty comment really just confirmed to Volvo that Ratchet’s lost it. The Synthetic Energon has taken over and he worries about what might happen next.

When he heard about Ratchet getting hurt and bleeding out, he freaked out of course. Him and the other medics would’ve patched him up and Volvo would watch over him. He’d hover around nearby and check his vitals more often than is necessary.

After Ratchet woke up and had that chat with Optimus that I think I remember him having.. I feel like he would make a point to find Volvo and talk to him about it.

Volvo may be a younger medic, but he’s still tough. Thing’s don’t get to him as easily.. well, not normally.

But when Ratchet first woke up? The look on Volvo’s face spoke volumes. The way Volvo acted out of character and practically became glued to Ratchet was concerning. He wasn't reacting to the situation in the way Ratchet believed he would.

When he asked, Volvo would respond with something along the lines of,

“When I saw the color of your optics, I knew exactly what you had done. And it.. it frightened me.“ Volvo would begin to look saddened.

“I didn’t know what was going to happen and I.. I just.. I didn’t know how to help you..“ Volvo would look hurt, and like a child honestly. This tough little medic was genuinely struggling to cope with the situation. 

“I now realize that.. I didn’t truly understand just how dire our situation is.. “

Volvo would fiddle with his hands nervously for a second. 

“I understand why you took that risk, but still it hurts to know that you felt the need to walk into something that dangerous for the slight chance it might make things a little better..“

Essentially, Volvo didn't really fully know just how bad their situation is. And seeing his friend risk his life like that really got the point across like a kick to the gut.

They’d talk it over and get through it at the end of the day, but now Volvo has a new perspective of this situation, and of Ratchet.

Glad to hear I’m not alone in this! :}

Despite its controversy and my personal saltiness towards certain aspects of this series, I overall genuinely really did enjoy watching the Bayverse movies. All of them.

The Bumblebee movie was fantastic, and I like Transformers: Prime. But that’s it, just those three. :/

Thank you for all the compliments!! :> I will do my best to keep these things up!.. Even though its becoming rather difficult..

Thank you! I worked very hard on it! ♡(இ﹏இ`｡)♡.

SPEAKING OF VEGAS DESIGN!!--

As I am writing this, all 16 transformer ocs are getting a make over. (mostly Jeepy) So keep and eye on this post! Because if someone wants to use them for references, the post could suddenly change and the old designs will be outdated! 

Don’t be so shy! XD These asks are fun! :}

Now Bash Buggy.. he wouldn’t actually register what you just did if you kissed him on the cheek.

The protective plating on his face has been peeled back so if you kissed him on the cheek, you would sting him a little and you would get a little bit of Energon on your lips.

He’d wince and look at you like?? What was that?? He cant see the Energon on your lips so he wouldn’t put 2 and 2 together.

But if you told him that you just kissed him on the cheek, he’d then get so confused and flustered. Like, “I?? Wh-.. but-.. thanks?? Uh??”

[dear-selena]

Omg, if you’re feeling it could you make a Caught Web Handed part two? I loved part one sm!

Caught Web Handed (Pt. 2)

Peter Parker x Reader

Request: “Omg, if you’re feeling it could you make a Caught Web Handed part two? I loved part one sm!”

Summary: When a new Tumblr blogger who claims to be Spider-Man starts reblogging a ton of Spider-Man fanfiction, including yours, the community goes into a frenzy and you confront the boy who promised not to say anything. 

Warnings: Some swearing, this is literally so meta be warned

A/N: I would like to thank the anon who requested this two months ago! I’m sorry it took me so long to write this out! I genuinely didn’t know how to continue this story until recently. If you want me to continue this, please let me know! I could possibly write one more part to this, but only if you guys want it. 

Words: 1971

REQUESTS ARE OPEN 

Part 1

—————-

You love that Tumblr started the group chat feature, but damn, you wish you got notifications from it.

Yawning, you cover your mouth and suddenly crave your bed. Last night, you stayed up messaging a ton of bloggers in a new group chat someone created for your favorite web-slinging hero and didn’t even realize how late it was when the conversation whined down. 

The group chat is called “Them Spider-Man OCs 😩😍🕸🕷❤️💙” and is filled with a bunch of your mutuals. The entire night was spent complimenting one another on each other’s fanfictions, and sharing anything and everything about everyone’s OC’s. You couldn’t help the giddiness you felt when people told you how much they loved Trevor Trenton, your Spider-Man OC. 

Because Tumblr mobile refuses to send notifications when you get new messages, you stayed on the app for hours to make sure you were as involved in the conversation as possible. You knew you could have left the conversation at any moment, but you were just way too excited to finally bond with all your mutuals at once. 

Walking down the halls of Midtown High, you lazily stroll to your first class as if you had all the time in the world to get there. You hadn’t seen your friends yet this morning, making time go especially slow. Not knowing what else to do, you decide to open the Tumblr mobile app and check for new notifications in your group chat. To your surprise, a green circle appeared on the group chat photo someone edited of Spider-Man swinging through Queens with heart emojis all around him. 

You open the chat, and your heart jumps immediately. 

(Your Favorite Spider-Man Blog): Guys did TheOfficialSpiderMan account reblog your work too or is it just me?!?!

Suddenly frozen in place, you reread (Favorite Spider-Man Blog)’s message. With your heart bouncing in your chest, full of uncomfortable adrenaline, you quickly leave the chat and check messages and had to stop yourself from screaming. 

An account called TheOfficialSpiderMan had indeed reblogged your latest update on your Trevor Trenton fanfiction. 

Tapping on the blogger’s icon, you start investigating if this was truly the “Official” Spider-Man. The first thing you do is read the bio: 

“Yes, I’m the real Spider-Man XD. Still trying to figure out how to use this site so bear with me.

Queens, NY | Avenger | Science Nerd”

Looking at the blog’s avatar, you see that it’s a selfie that the hero took while swinging in the air. You’ve never seen a photo of Spider-Man like this before, but you couldn’t tell if it was edited or not. If this is a fake account, this person must be really good at photoshop… 

Scrolling through the blog, you notice that this person’s not only reblogged your fanfiction but almost all your mutuals too. You recognized some of the stories as one’s you’ve read prior and almost all of them were from people who were in the Spider-Man group chat with you. Eventually, however, you scrolled to the bottom of the blog and found a simple text post. 

“Hey Everyone! It’s me, Spider-Man. I’m just here to interact with you guys cause I’ve heard that I have fans on this site. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for supporting me. Love you all

The post, although wholehearted and sweet, immediately fills you with worry. If this truly was Spider-Man, that means your favorite hero, the hero you’ve been fantasizing about through your writing, was reading your stuff. He was reading this personified version of himself that you created for your silly romantic pleasure, and that scares you shitless. A part of you feels exposed in a way you never thought possible, and even though your Tumblr username doesn’t quite give away your identity, you still feel extremely vulnerable. The thought of the man behind the mask seeing your work makes you feel quite uneasy, especially because you don’t know who the man behind the mask is. 

Suddenly, the bell for first-period rings, and you’re brought back to reality. As peers shuffle through the halls around you, you shove your phone in your pocket and pick up the pace to get to your first class. While walking, you couldn’t help but wonder Why Spider-Man chose to solely reblog fanfiction. There are plenty of Spider-Man Tumblr posts consisting of gif-sets, fan edits, and general news about him, so why fanfiction? 

It was as if Spider-Man has some sort of motivated intentions. 

——————

Peter Parker hits the reblog button on yet another well-written story about him. 

Well, better yet, him as a superhero. 

Ever since he found out that you write fanfiction about Spider-Man a couple of months back, Peter couldn’t stop wondering what else was written about him. After a self-debate for whether or not it’d be a good idea to actually make a Tumblr account and find your work, he decided to go for it. After all, he was pretty bored last night, and what better way to interact with fans that through a popular fandom website? 

So he created “TheOfficialSpiderMan” and immediately started reading fanfiction. 

He has to say, he was quite amazed at how talented his fans were. A lot of the stories and characters they created were so unique, and the plots they wrote up were quite clever! He instantly picked up on some tropes people would write about, including ones where the reader was Iron Man’s child (he has to admit, he found those stories quite meta). 

And after a ton of scrolling and reblogging, he came across a story about a version of Spider-Man named Trevor Trenton. He immediately knew that this story was yours, and took notice of your Tumblr name, (Your Tumblr blog name). He wanted to follow you but figured he should lay low right now. ‘I shouldn’t be giving certain fans special attention… especially if this certain fan is a good friend of his and possibly his crus-.’ 

“Hey, Peter!” 

Peter turns around to see Ned with his usual smile on his face. 

“Oh, Ned! Guess what?” Peter proceeds to shove his phone in his best friend’s hand. “I found (Y/N)’s Tumblr account!” 

Ned’s eyes go wide as he examines Peter’s phone, seeing a post with your blog name on it. “Oh my god, Peter,” Ned starts to laugh. “You did not just join Tumblr to find her fanfiction.” 

“Of course not,” Peter protests, going to show the blog account. “Spider-Man did.” 

Ned looks up at Peter with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. “Damn Peter,” Ned says sarcastically. “Didn’t think you’d be one to join fandom culture.” 

Peter rolls his eyes as the bell rings, indicating that second-period was about to start. Saying a quick goodbye to Ned, Peter quickly makes his way to his robotics class, a class that you just so happen to share with him. As Peter enters the room, he scans it and instantly spots you at one of the workshop tables, head buried in your phone, and wide-eyed. 

Peter smirks. He knows exactly what’s going on. 

He makes his way over you, and plops down in the seat next to you, causing you to look up at him in surprise. “Oh, hey Peter.” you squeak out, completely caught off-guard. 

Peter couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. The last time he saw you this flustered was when MJ caught you writing Spider-Man fanfiction back at his place, and he had to admit, you looked pretty cute. “Hey, (Y/N). What are you looking at?” 

You look back at your phone and quickly snooze the screen, shoving your phone in your pocket. “Oh, i-it’s nothing…” You say unconfidently, a blush appearing on your face. “Just a stupid Tumblr update.” 

“Oh?” Peter asks, knowing what you meant by ‘update’. “Does it have to do with Spider-Man?” He couldn’t help but push the conversation on you. He was too excited to see your reaction. 

“Actually, yeah.” You finally admit after a moment. “My mutuals and I are kinda freaking out cause a blog that claims to be Spider-Man is reblogging our stories. It’s weird.” 

“Really, weird?” He questions. “What makes that so weird?” 

“Why would a superhero go online just to read fanfiction. Superheroes shouldn’t even know about this kinda stuff. They should be focused on, I don’t know… saving the world or something. It’s just weird that he’s only reblogging fanfiction and-.” You cut yourself off when you look up at Peter and see he’s just sitting there, head propped up against his hand, leaning on the table with his elbow, sporting a knowing smirk of some sort. Confused at why he was looking at you like that, you almost question him. But that was when you started to connect the dots. 

It feels like Spider-Man has some motivated intentions. Peter Parker is intentionally talking about this with you. 

You squint your eyes at the boy in front of you. “Peter, did you tell Spider-Man about fanfiction?” 

Peter blinks, his smirk off his face. “W-what? No, I didn’t.” 

Your glare intensifies, and Peter sits up straight. “Are you lying to me? You just had your ‘I-know-something-you-don’t face on.” 

Peter swallows, suddenly nervous. He didn’t think you’d react like this. “I’m not lying, (Y/N). I did not tell Spider-Man about fanfiction.” 

You did… a couple of months ago… 

You look away, now glaring at the table. “Then explain how Spider-Man knows about fanfiction and why he only reblogs it?” 

Peter starts to sweat. “Uh, I-I don’t know. Maybe he likes to read?” 

“Or someone told him to find it?” You look back up at Peter, whose clearly uncomfortable, making it easier for you to believe that he’s lying. “Maybe while they were at their Stark Internship or something?” 

Peter mentally facepalms. He’s not getting out of this, is he? 

“(Y/N), please.” Peter pleads. “I promise I didn’t say anything to S-Spider-Man. And even if I did, why is it so bad? Why is it bad that he’s reading fanfiction?” 

“Because!” You shout, catching the attention of some of your classmates. Embarrassed, you force Peter to crouch down close to you so you can whisper. “The stories on Tumblr can get a bit uncanny. What if he finds smut about himself?” 

Peter raises an eyebrow. “What’s a smut?” 

You roll your eyes. “Exactly, and I’m NOT going into that right now.” You shudder, realizing what could happen if your favorite hero finds stories like… that.

Nevertheless, you push those thoughts out of your head and continue on. “But seriously Peter. You told me you wouldn’t tell him about this stuff, and how he’s reading a ton of it? Something doesn’t add up.” 

Peter wants to argue back, but he honestly doesn’t know what to say. He can’t assure you that your writing is good and that he’s enjoying seeing his fans’ creativity because he’d have to reveal his secret to you, and that’s the last thing he wants to do. Especially now. 

Before he knows it, your packing your stuff back up, getting out of your seat and slinging your backpack over your shoulder. “Find me when you can tell me the truth.” With that, you walk to the other side of the room and sit at a new table, just in time for the teacher to walk in and discuss the new project. 

Peter couldn’t help but mentally beat himself up. Was doing all this a mistake? He genuinely just wanted to find your work and actually interact with his fans. He never expected it to backfire like this. Now he has to find a way to assure you he wasn’t technically lying, all while keeping his identity a secret. With all the thoughts racing through his mind, there was one that stood out: 

He fucked up.

————–

-Peter Parker Tag List-

@sweetcoffeeblandtea // @house-arya // @jovialpeanut // @bookstoreblossom // @jackiehollanderr

-Marvel Tag List-

@sammghgecko

-Permanent Tag List-  

@mindset-jupiter // @romance-geek // @imcharishope // @fakindob // @cutiekoa // @wowursofunny // @cals-cigarette // @supernerdycookietrashblr // @delicately-important-trash // @unlikelygalaxygive

[ayankun]

AoS S2 Rewatch: Thoughts I Forgot

The premise of me, as a human, is

that I love this show so much I rewatch it from the beginning so I’m all caught up to binge the new season when it comes to Netflix or wherever, and

Season 1 was so off-putting, this annual rewatch always starts with Season 2

Because what happens in S1 that’s so important, anyway?  If it was important, then I’d remember it/pick it up through inference.  It saves a lot of time and who needs to wade through old garbage to root around for gems that may not even be there?

So I rewatched S1 for the second time in my life last week, and completely heel-turned my stance on its quality and worth-watchingness.

Here’s a short list of things that makes S2 WORSE because S1 details are fresh in the mind, lolololol

Raina gets completely rewritten.

This is a “worse” in the sense that, always starting from S2, my vague S1 memories is that she’s beautiful and mysterious and self-serving and just generally The Best, and the her vs Skye for magical alien powers battle is an epic one, and she gets what she deserves by having her beautiful outsides and ugly insides get reversed

ok but none of this is set up in S1 and most of it is invented in S2

we never know ANYTHING about her from her S1 actions, other than that she’s loyal to no one but herself.  So, now she’s canonically recognized as a con artist, okay.  But where did she get the man-eater “reputation” she evidently has by 2x5?

Did I miss all the parts in S1 where she hit on the Centipede doctor and Scorch and Edison Po and the Clairvoyant (/Garrett) and Ward to convince them to let her join them?  iirc, she just packages their desires and aspirations and frames herself as someone who can get them there.  Garrett didn’t even meet her in person before he started having her do his dirty work for him so .....it must have been her devilish feminine wiles that did it.  Yep. 

Also the whole con-artist thing in such specificity also comes from this new S2 narrative for her, in that she was a street kid living off her wiles until the Crazy Random Happenstance that she meets Cal.

Which makes her presence in S1 all the wackier.  I mean, everyone’s presense in that season revolves around wanting to stay close to Coulson after Project T.A.H.I.T.I. ... except for Skye, the literal variable in the equation who is just there on accident.  Come the tag scene of S1 into S2, Raina, who all this time has been after the Clairvoyant who has been after Coulson suddenly ALSO has life-changing, Coulson-agnostic ties to Skye of all people ...

Ultimately it’s forgivable because Destiny is also at work here, and Daisy was always going to end up Daisy and here’s the thread of events that causes it to be so.  ... but if I hadn’t have watched S1, it wouldn’t have felt like such an obvious, mercenary re-write.

Because also then S2 Ward is like “I’ve always wanted to tell you about your father.” and it’s like BRUH.  Even if you’re explaining it away as Raina told you when you both worked with Garrett ... you and Raina had about thirty minutes together last season and you didn’t particularly get along.  When, exactly, did she find time to chat you up about the intimate details of your mutual crush frenemy?

Poor Trip.  He has about a full season of episodes under his belt across S1 and S2 and it’s obvious they were just biding their time with him until they could figure out how to write him off.

Especially in S2 where the Team expands to include Mack and Bobbi and Hunter, and all these peeps get personalities and motivations and, like, plots, and Trip just stands there in the back making jokes about how the Koenigs are LMDs.

Watching only S2, it really feels like they needed somebody around to be sacrificed, to make the transition to the Inhuman storyline personal for everybody, but that they didn’t want to give up anyone super critical (just critical enough for everyone to be shocked and sad).

But also -- did they?  Imagine if Trip had just, not joined Team Coulson at the end of S1, we never saw him again, and nobody had to be sacrificed in the caverns ... I mean, Coulson could have been the one to pull the timing pins and fend off Mack and still not make it into the transformation chamber in time ......

we already had Hartley and several civilians to tell us what the Diviner does to non-Inhumans .... I feel like they’re trying to get us to believe that the stakes are This High but they’re really just hiding their need to get rid of a dead-weight character under a veneer of Gravitas.

I’m thinking forward to Framework!Trip where everyone’s So Happy to see him and even then I’m always like “ ... are you, though?  Feels like you barely knew the guy.  Maybe there was S1 stuff I missed”

spoiler alert: there wasn’t

Last one, the mystery of Who Are Bobbi and Mack Working For isn’t as thrilling after you’ve seen it the once, and now after seeing Fury specifically hand SHIELD to Coulson in person at the end of S1 ... the whole “I’m working for SHIELD and you’re working for Coulson” reveal just sort of doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.

[alpha-imagines]

New Boy (III)- Billy Hargrove

A/N: Sorry i’m spamming you all with this story haha i’m just super motivated to write it so hope no one is complaining! 

Also i’m not promoting the fact that he’s a piece of shit this is just something i wanted to explore

Summary: The rumour mill is well and truly circulating and you are not happy one bit.

Part 1 Part 2

“You slept with Billy Hargrove?!” Amanda whisper yelled at you through gritted teeth as her arm interlinked with yours as you both pushed your way through the schools’ double doors

“What?” You asked with a laugh laced with confusion

“Everyone’s talking about it” She said and you noticed the pairs of eyes that were laid on you as you walked to your locker

“What are you on about Amanda?” You asked, this time deadly serious

“Trish Heeley said she saw Billy leaving your house last night” Amanda elaborated “Why didn’t you tell me Y/N” You could hear the hurt in her voice

You hadn’t had a chance to tell her last night but you had made it your top priority to tell her this morning that was before she beat you to it.

“I was going to tell you this morning” You said sheepishly, hauling your books into your locker

“That you slept with Billy?!” She sounded both shocked and excited as she tightly gripped your arm

“What? No” You clarified “Is that what Trish is telling people?” You brows furrowed in confusion at the whole situation. The rumour mill was really churning up anything you thought to yourself.

“I guess” Amanda shrugged

“I didn’t sleep with him” You said, slamming your locker angrily at the fact Trish was spreading lies “Absolutely nothing happened”

“Where are we going?” Amanda asked as you pushed away from the locker and strode down the hall with a fire in your eyes.

You knew where Trish hung out before class and you had every intention to tell her exactly where she could stick her rumours. She lived in the house opposite you and was known for being one of the biggest gossips in the school, besides Carol and her posse perhaps.

“Princess” You heard as Billy Hargrove swaggered towards you, his signature smirk plastered on his face

“Not now Billy” You huffed and pushed past him. You didn’t mean to come across cold but you knew if you stopped for a chat that would only add fuel to the flames

“What’s got your panties in a twist?” He called out from behind but stayed on the spot until you were out of sight.

“Trish” You called out as her figure came into view “A little birdy told me you can’t keep my name out of your mouth”

You didn’t know where the sudden surge of confidence came from but you could only be thankful for it, something about her sat giggling with her friends made your blood boil.

“Like you couldn’t keep Billy Hargrove out of yours you mean?” You smirked back, that comment earned laughs from her friends and shallow “ooh’s” from the small group of onlookers

“Funny” You deadpanned “But looks like you got the wrong end of the stick, again”

“So that wasn’t Billy’s Camaro parked outside your house last night?” She asked, playing dumb

“We studied” You clarified although you were well aware that it sounded like the most pathetic lie you’d ever told

“Sure” She shrugged

You were just about to tell her to “go fuck herself” if she didn’t believe you but you were quite literally saved by the bell as the loud noise chimed through the halls. The crowd dispersed and you stood there, Amanda at your side, silently fuming. Truthfully you didn’t know whether to punch something or cry, you’d never had a rumour spread about you and suddenly you were very aware of the constant looks and whispers.

“Man I could happily wipe that smug look off of her stupid face” Amanda sighed shaking her head

You smiled meekly at her remark

“I happily will if you want?” She offered, the tone was joking but deep down you knew she was being deadly serious

You shook your head with a laugh as you tightened your grip on your bag strap

“She’s just jealous” Amanda stated as you walked down the now empty corridor towards your shared English classroom “Just because she’s a 5 out of 10 at best”

You laughed at her petty remark, whilst you didn’t necessarily agreed you knew your best friend was trying to cheer you up, even if it made her sound somewhat like a bitch.

 English was uneventful other than some hushed chatter that you pretended was about the book you were studying. You only had to survive the rest of the day you thought to yourself as you packed away your things, by tomorrow it would have died down you assumed.

Lunchtime rolled around and you’d had no run ins with Trish Heeley yet which you were thankful because if you had, you’d be sat in the principal’s office with your parents on their way.

“I’m going to talk to Billy” You said to Amanda as you ate the last crisp in your packet

“What for?” She looked up at you

“So he can try and set the record straight” You clarified

“Is that a good idea?” Amanda asked dubiously

“It’s better than nothing” you shrugged and got up from your seat in the cafeteria

You knew Billy hung around his car at lunch, so you pushed your way outside and the autumn air hit your flustered face. You instantly spotted the blue Camaro and the puffs of smoke in the air from Billy’s cigarette

“Billy” You called out, garnering the attention of him and his friends

“Hey princess” He smirked as he slid off the bonnet of his car

“Can I have a word?” You asked

He walked the few steps closer to you to put distance between him and his friends

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” He asked, he figured you wanted to talk about your geography project

“People are talking about us” You mumbled, for some reason you felt embarrassed to tell him exactly what they were saying

“Right” He said slowly because he didn’t really understand what you were trying to tell him

“People are saying we slept together last night” You announced looking sheepishly up at him through your lashes, bracing yourself for his response

“What?” He laughed out, clearly nowhere near as phased as you were

“Can you like put the record straight?” You asked

Normally he wouldn’t have even bothered to hear you out, the way he saw it was you were lucky for people to think you’d slept together but in this instance he could see the hurt behind your eyes. He nodded slowly

“Sure thing princess” He smiled at you

“So I was thinking maybe we could do this project at yours tonight” You carried on “Seeing Trish Heeley is watching us through her window” You laughed in an attempt to make light of the situation

He let out a huff of air through his nose and swallowed hard. He didn’t want you at his house, he didn’t want you to see how he lived after he’d seen the way you lived- blush coloured curtains and roast beef dinners. But you looked hopefully into his eyes and he caved in.

“Whatever” He shrugged, he came off abrasive and he could tell by the slight flinch you had in response to his tone “It’ll have to be straight after school though, got plans tonight” He suddenly added, he didn’t want you in his house in the first place especially not if his dad was going to be there. So although he’d have to keep an eye on Max he figured you’d be done way before 6 and you could leave before his dad had a chance to rear his head.

“Yeah that’s fine” You said chirpily “Thanks”

“Meet me here” He called out after you as you began walking away, you turned round and smiled at him in acknowledgement.

Tag List: @strngervibes @im-failing-all-my-classes @hedakylo @sarcasticvodka @lilo-1398 @fangirlinganditswonders

[aion-rsa]

Why Kid Cosmic Is About “People, Not Powers”

https://ift.tt/3an0ID5

This feature contains some spoilers for Netflix’s Kid Cosmic.

After exploring the stretches of space, wonder, and imagination in shows like Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends and Wander Over Yonder, Craig McCracken returns to the realm of superheroes with Kid Cosmic, a more direct, comic book-esque take on the genre than his first smash hit show, The Powerpuff Girls. 

The show stars Kid, a young boy who finds a set of superpowered stones, and from there, all heck breaks loose. In the midst of fighting waves upon waves of aliens and creatures from other worlds, however, is an earnest, realistic story about a boy dealing with grief, and the small town that unites behind him through it all.

Den of Geek got a chance to chat with Craig over email about the show, about what it means to be a superhero, and how Netflix allowed for Kid Cosmic to explore that in a more mature, “all ages” way that’s arguably beyond the scope of most animated kids shows.

Den of Geek: Kid Cosmic is about a kid who is so engaged in comic books that when a set of super-powered stones literally lands at his feet, he wants to be a real superhero, arguably at some pretty significant costs and risk. What influenced you to come up with this specific premise? How do you view this, and the serial, thematic nature of it, against the immense number of superhero based media in the world today?

Craig McCracken: I was inspired by the supreme confidence that kids have at that age. I, like a lot of kids, dreamt of being a superhero when I was young, and in my fantasies I was always amazing and really good at it. I had that same confidence with my drawing when I was young. I drew all the time, I studied every cartoon and comic I could get my hands on, and I had the passion to do the job. I couldn’t understand why I had to grow up and go to art school before I could have that career, I was ready for the job at 12! 

The answer was that I wasn’t good enough yet, I had way more to learn (still do!). So I took that personal childhood experience with my drawing and applied it to superpowers instead. The thing that I feel sets Kid Cosmic apart from other hero-based media is that it’s focused less on epic hero mythologies and more on the smaller human stories. In writing the series we always reminded ourselves it’s about the people not the powers. 

Style wise, the show is heavily indebted to the classic comic book/serial look. The framing and storyboarding; the uses of fonts in the credits; the nifty end cards with the characters on fake comic books. One thing I’ve noticed, specifically, is that the movements at points were jumpy, as if frames were missing. Was that a conscious choice? Do you think that adds to the look and feel you’re going for?

A lot of the choices that we made in Kid were based on the fact that these are real people in the real world, they aren’t cartoon characters. So with the animation we avoided overly smooth and flowy actions or lots of squash and stretch, things that you associate with “cartoons.”  If an action felt natural on 3s or 4s we kept it. 

New Mexico as a setting is an inspired choice. There’s something freeing about its wide expanse of desert, but also terrifying in its (from a kids’ perspective) unexplored nothingness. How do you think the setting reflects the themes?

It’s not specifically New Mexico but sort of a generic rural southwest desert vibe. It could be New Mexico, it could be California, it could be Arizona, basically it’s a remote enough place where a spaceship could crash and not a lot of people would know about it. The other thing that is nice about the desert is that it forces you to tell a story about the characters because there is no surrounding environment for the characters to get distracted by, it’s a flat empty stage to play in. It’s also alone in the middle of nowhere, sort of like Earth is in the greater universe. 

This is, relatively speaking, darker than most kids animated shows. It has pretty brutal alien deaths, and while they’re dispatched in unique ways (colorful blood, “de-rezzing” out of existence), they’re still a bit more intense then what’s usually out there. How was Netflix in responding to this? Do you feel there may be a kind of commentary here on how sensitized kids may be to the kind of violence they witness in superhero comics and films?

Again that’s the reality creeping in, even though there is fantastic stuff happening, Kid Cosmic doesn’t take place in a fantasy world. Danger exists, the stakes are high. This just increases Kid’s struggle and makes it more real. At the beginning, Netflix said this isn’t specifically a “kid’s show” it’s an all ages show that can be watched by young viewers, families, animation fans, anybody. So from their perspective, anything that you might see in a big summer superhero movie was fair game. 

I want to talk about the Kid himself, who, to be blunt, is a lot to handle in the first few episodes. The approach seems to be that the Kid needs to learn a lesson about humility and what it means to be a “true hero.” But I’m also fascinated by his tragic backstory. It’s portrayed vaguely, but hints at his motivation. Do you feel that keeping the specifics of what happened to the Kid at arms’ length works to prop up the theme?

I wanted to tell a story about a real kid and kids at that age aren’t perfect. They make mistakes, they may be a bit intense or selfish and are hard to deal with sometimes. It’s part of growing up and maturing. Often heroes for young viewers are portrayed as aspirational. They always do and say the right things. I wanted Kid to be more realistic and relatable. 

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As far as his backstory goes, my father passed away when I was 7 so what motivates Kid to want to be a hero is very close to me. We felt he should have a more sincere motivation in wanting to be a hero other than it would be fun and cool. It had to come from a real place and losing his parents and wanting to stop bad things from happening felt more true. Keeping that part of the story at arms’ length was a way to keep the overall tone of the season balanced. Even though Kid carries this real and heavy weight around with him, we didn’t want it to drag down the overall fun and energetic tone of the series. 

Stuck Chuck is portrayed as the Kid’s conscious – specifically, his self-doubt, his frustrations, his lies. Can you go into more about the conception of this character?

Frank Angones, who I did early Kid development with, and I are both huge Buckaroo Banzai fans and we were talking about a scene that got cut out where after the Lectroid ship was destroyed Buckaroo found some random Red Lectroids left behind who forgot to get on the ship. We thought the idea of having to deal with random aliens was hilarious. So we applied that to Stuck Chuck, and what started out as a joke turned into an absolutely essential character. Chuck is not only a constant threat to Kid’s life but he is a constant threat to his confidence. He’s like an anti-Jiminy Cricket and is one of my favorite characters in the show. 

Later in the season, there’s a big twist in who the real villains are, and in the process, the depiction of superheroic antics are pushed up to a ridiculous degree. It almost feels like a winking satire of the whole “Space Force” thing. Was that intentional? Do you think there’s a tension that exists between the depiction of superheroes and their connection, however tenuous, to a military aggressiveness that merits more discussion?

I get asked that a lot, but I came up with Earth Force Enforcement Force long before Space Force. Aggressiveness is the right word. As a fan of superheros I’m tired of being told dark stories about heroes more focused on fighting and winning wars than actually helping the innocent victims of those conflicts.  I miss good guys that are actually “good guys.”

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The ending, to keep things vague, is a pretty sudden transition from the initial premise. If granted a season 2, what other themes would you explore? Do you think you’ll be able to keep a solid grasp on the true nature of superheroics, if you place them in a new setting where over-the-top superheroics would be necessary?

We want to explore other ideas of what it really means to be a hero. If season 1 was “heroes help” what other aspects are essential to be a hero? So we plan on exploring that idea but through the experience of some of the other characters. Namely how does a teenage waitress from Earth suddenly lead a team of regular people to save the universe? Again it’s about the people, not the powers. 

The post Why Kid Cosmic Is About “People, Not Powers” appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3b7FtUX

[littlemissmitsukihorenake]

Everyone’s freaking out about the lack of an Unknown Route so let’s do a thought exercise and build one up out of thin air.

Inner fan fiction writer is going up again.  Yes, I’m actually going to try and write out an entire Unknown Route within the 11-day time period that’s typical of all the other routes.  Bad Ends may or may not be mentioned here.  I dunno.  Depends on what’s going through my head at the time.  

It’s gonna be a long writeup so I’m throwing it under the [Keep Reading] box.  So if anyone really is curious about a completely made-up fan writing about this, go right ahead and jump in with me.

PROLOGUE: I’m gonna be honest here and say that this prologue is literally copy-paste from the other openings: you’re told by Unknown to go to Rika’s apartment for “reasons” and meet up with the RFA, life goes on as usual.  I tried seeing if we could have the prologue where you meet up with Ray instead like in V’s route, but after a while I hit a wall so I’m leaving it for now.

DAY 2  - 4: Basically, life is going on as usual.  Zen’s being flirty, Jumin gives no craps, Yoosung is cute, Jahee just wants out, Seven is Seven, V’s never around.  Awesome.  Here’s the difference: Unknown is actively talking to you.  You see, he hacked into your phone when you downloaded the messenger app, and talks to you in-between logs.  Half the time he’s Unknown, the other half is Ray, and you’re basically bouncing between these two personalities trying to figure out who exactly you’re talking about, but they both agree that the RFA is evil and must be saved from...something.  The choices are usually either you completely agreeing with him on his weird tirades or not.

BAD END #1: This happens if you completely agree with Unknown/Ray about everything that he mentions about the RFA and believing that they are indeed the bad guys.  Unknown opens up a chatroom, but this time it’s out in the open instead of hidden between code like before.  He says that it’s time for the RFA to be brought to paradise, and basically starts a massive attack on the members.  Yoosung and Zen are kidnapped almost immediately, while Jahee and Jumin are barely able to hide away due to the bodyguards.  Seven is the only one left in that chatroom, and before you all leave, Unknown thanks MC personally for helping him achieve his goals, and says that he will meet you personally to escort you to paradise.  Seven’s last message before logging out is cursing MC for everything.  Maybe we get a nice image of V mourning because this was TOTALLY not what he wanted.

Yes.  The first Bad End is you literally selling out the RFA to Mint Eye.  Told you we’re getting serious.

DAY 5 - 7: I’m not sure which day this part of it should end on, but for now, we’ll keep it at 7.  Here, Zen starts our week with a shocking message: his brother, the one that shunted him away all those years ago, has finally remade contact with him.  He has no idea how in the world to react to this, because this is the man/moment that changed his life forever.  BROTHER BETRAYAL, basically.  So while everyone else is having their personal problems (maybe Yoosung failed another test, that’d be funny), this is the big problem that follows this chunk of time and yes this is going exactly where you think it’s going.

This entire event is hitting a chord in Seven, who keeps going silent every time Zen talks about another attempt by his brother to reconnect.  Everyone can’t help but notice the strange change in mood, and even wonder if Seven just doesn’t like family matters in general.  Here’s the thing: Unknown is recognizing this as well.  He’s increasing his hack attacks, and while doing that, he keeps talking to you behind the code.  This time, instead of convincing you that everyone else is bad (he failed that method the first time, couldn’t you tell?), he’s now trying to convince you that it is SEVEN and V who are bad.  Something about him being a liar and cheat and whatever other insult you wanna throw out.  This time, you can either agree with him or not (Seven is getting oddly defensive and secretive, he surmises).  Ray flirting with you may or may not happen between chats.

However, it becomes apparent that they definitely share some kind of similarity, given that his way of averting the conversation is literally the same as how Seven does it.  While asking about their connection is available, asking about it too soon will severely drop points and make it very likely to get the Bad End.  However, you could start slowly insinuating that not only is Seven a good guy, but that he could just be thinking about family and got triggered and all that good stuff.  That’ll leave him reeling.

BAD END #2: You’ve fully accepted that Seven and V are both bad influences to the RFA, so one day you walk right up to the chat and confront Seven on basically the evasive behavior.  You push him a bit too hard and everyone else starts wondering what the heck is wrong with you, that you weren’t this upfront about these questions before.  But you’re totally convinced that Seven is a bad man and keep declaring it as such, because “he hides secrets”.  Before they know it, Unknown drops in, basically saying the exact same thing.  The scene ends with Unknown just about ready to drop the truth bombs, but it’s implied that the truth broke the RFA apart, no longer trusting the ones who led the organization.

DAY 8: A chat opens between MC and Unknown, hidden from the others.  In true MC fashion, all the conversations they had with each other has shaken Unknown’s core quite a bit, and he thinks that maybe the RFA are fine and should be left alone.  But still, he is venomously believing that Seven is the root of all evil and all that junk.  He still won’t tell you why, but the reason why he’s bringing this up is because even that notion is shaking, and that belief was the only thing keeping him going.  Chat ends before you can ask him anything.

Another chat, good news: Zen has finally decided to respond back to his brother, and so far everything is going rather smooth.  Everyone’s hunky dory, except for, of course, Seven, who isn’t responding to anything this time around.  When finally asks, he breaks down and opens up a bit more about himself: he used to have a brother as well.  He’s not gonna mention names or why they’re separated or all that juicy business, but he does mention that they’ve been apart for a long time and he had spent the majority of his time trying to find him.  Zen reconnecting with his brother has reminded him that he had failed in that mission, and felt like he wasn’t in the place to give advice since he couldn’t even find his own brother.  Everyone is shocked, but they comfort him and say things along the lines of “we’ll help you find him, we swear”.  He may mention his crazy parents without any details, but eh, I think you could get away with it.

That chat room ends, but you don’t leave, because Unknown has reestablished contact with you.  The words that Seven had said had touched him deeply, and now his entire core concept has broken apart.  He will definitely mention that he wouldn’t have believed him before, but after some MC magic (I don’t know how else to mention it), it’s actually causing Unknown to slowly believe him.  He gives a bit about his story and thanks MC for helping him, but will not reveal his name, before dropping the chat.

Cut to Seven, doing his little hacking things, maybe crying a bit because the chat got to him and stuff.  Suddenly, Unknown attacks again, but this time, one of the hacks is hiding a message.  Seven looks into the message and finds something interesting: Unknown just wants to talk.  No malicious intent, no ulterior motive, he just wants to confirm himself on something.  Seven is skeptical, but decides to play along for now, especially when Unknown reveals that he’s not even telling the higher ups about this conversation.

DAY 9: Seven is not on at all, but drops a message saying that the hacking is increasing so he needs to 100% focus on it.  Even Unknown stops talking to you, messages or not.  Meanwhile, the rest are left wondering about Seven’s mysterious brother.  V, unfortunately, is not around as always, and he’s the only one who knows the truth about Seven.  Half of them are convinced that he must be just as crazy as Seven.  But with each comedy chat, we cut back to Seven and Unknown talking to each other between the hacks.  The chats are finally getting to something that’s not akin to name calling, but there’s still some layer of walls between them.

That’s fine, because then Unknown finally contacts you again in a hidden chat.  He doesn’t know what to believe anymore, and you can choose for him to either stick to his old beliefs or reach forward and try this new direction.  Whichever way you choose, Unknown decides to drop the bomb: his name is Saeran.  He is about to reveal this to Seven when he gets a message: the savior of Mint Eye is making the bold move of going after the RFA, starting with MC.  Seven says that the bomb should protect her, but in true fashion, they go through the window and MC is successfully kidnapped.

DAY 10: The day begins in a fancy cage, and they’re ready to indite you into Mint Eye.  When you’re alone, Unknown comes to you, openly talking about bringing you to paradise or something like that.  But you could tell that his heart isn’t as into it as before.  In fact, he whispers to you that he doesn’t believe that you deserve to be here, and says that he will find a way to get you out, even if it ruins any chance for his salvation.  Before going out, he slips you a cell phone, with the RFA messaging app programmed into it.  It was the one that Unknown was using to talk to you before.

After verification, everyone is scrambling to try and find a way to get to you as soon as possible.  Zen and Yoosung are mostly comforting you, while the others are establishing a way to find you.  Seven is trying to reestablish his connection with Unknown but his side of the conversation has been cut.  You can’t talk to him either, because you have his phone.

Near the end of the day, someone drags you out of your prison and into the halls.  Someone wants to talk to you...and it’s Rika.  And she’s PISSED that you “corrupted” the man who had achieved salvation.  V, she had lost faith in, but Saeran?  No no no, this is the first case of someone being dragged back from salvation.  Remember how she loved your darkness in V’s route?  Hell no, she hates it, and she wants it gone.  With Unknown by her side, she officially starts the ritual to get you anointed into Mint Eye.  The way you react to it all gives Unknown massive PTSD, because it’s shot-by-shot the exact same reaction that he had when he first got in.

BAD END #3: He reacts too late, and you drink the medicine to get you into Mint Eye.  Since coordinates never get out, the RFA can never find you, and you basically start acting like Unknown before this route started.  Unknown, however, has had a full change of heart, especially after being reminded of how he got in here, but knows that he was the one that brought her here in the first place.  He decides to be there for her, hiding in the personal hell he dragged her in, as punishment for what he had done.

Hell yeah, dramatic irony.  Saeran hated V the most, for being the one who started all this.  So it would be tragic as hell for the last Bad End to turn him exactly into V.

NORMAL END: The PTSD snaps a chord in him, and Unknown basically pushes her away from the medicine, saving her.  Rika is even more pissed, and tells everyone to get him.  Unknown goes full on ballistic and tries to defend himself, while telling MC to run.  MC pulls off something better: in the mayhem, she is able to send the coordinates of their location to the chat room.  The minute the men get in, everyone basically scatters in fear, allowing MC and Unknown to escape.  Once alone, Unknown drops his real name as Saeran and confesses basically everything, while saying that since he was the one who dropped you here in the first place, he should be arrested by Jumin’s police and tried in law.  MC says hell no to that, grabs his arm, and hauls ass out of there.

Sure enough, Seven is outside, and seeing you two bolt out there like a bat out of hell was more than enough for him to cheer up.  You fling yourselves in the back and he hauls out of there back to the hideout.  They plan to hide out there until the mayhem goes down, and then slowly bring Saeran back into society.  He won’t tell MC, but through the chats with Unknown Seven was able to get into the network once they stopped talking, and he was able to figure out that Saeran was here.  He already deleted his name from the records, so Saeran is gonna be fine just going back (I mean, on the run, but unfortunately you’re not getting those details).

Sure enough, Saeran is getting withdrawal from the lack of elixir, and on top of that the original Unknown and Ray are coming out, basically saying that Saeran has a problem after all that stuff that happened to him.  He’s going to have to start mental treatment soon.  But nothing that Jumin can take care of, especially after all those conversations about brotherhood.  Jumin is totally fine with it, especially since he’s kept in the dark about Saeran actually being in Mint Eye and was told that he was only a victim.

He doesn’t show up in this year’s party, and neither does Saeyong, because he’s starting treatment immediately.  However, while the party starts, you get a message from Saeran, now properly assigned in the messenger.  He talks about everything that happened up until then, and says that all of this is completely due to MC.  He then ends with the message “Wait for Me”.

GOOD ENDING: Two years pass, and another party is underway!  And hey, Saeran is here too, the first time the RFA see him in a non-hospital setting!  He’s hiding in the back, too shy to show his outfit, but he wants to show you first.  You actually compliment him, and it causes Saeran to be more confident in standing out in the party.  You two end up sharing a dance together.

[goingbackthroughthelookingglass]

12:00PM - Dose Day

Well. I have to say I’m convinced.

Last night was hard. Not in all of the ways that make things obvious, but rather in the subtle ways that you don’t even know you’re doing/are habits until you’re suddenly without them.

So the microdosing schedule I am on consists of a dose day, an after effects day (the day after), and then a “normal” day, followed by another dose day (today actually). I just took 0.2g of mushrooms (via capsule). This is double what I took Sunday. But before we get into that (and while I wait for my stomach to digest the vegetarian capsules) let me tell you about my night last night.

So last night into today is my “normal” day. This is the day, typically, as you’re finding the right amount for your microdosing, that things should feel normal. The problem was, I wasn’t entirely certain if what I did take was really still affecting me. I woke up, got ready for work, and was productive until 1:30am (when I normally get off the road because of drunks and assholes driving and you just never really know who you’re picking up at that time). My night started out pretty normal; I did hit the snooze a bit, but I got out, deep cleaned my car, and got on the road. Most of the rides were good, and I was able to chit chat easily...but as the night wore on I just found myself...irritated.

Not the last ride before my break, but a few before that I picked up this couple. It was just a couple blocks from my house, and I’m sitting there waiting, and this guy, we’ll call him Jake because I honestly don’t remember his name, comes out and is just like “let me set my drink down.” No big, sure whatever. He walks to the other side of my car, there’s some kind of wait, and then he opens up the passenger door behind me, and is like “I’m just gonna say goodbye really quick” closes the door, and walks back around my car to this dark corner that he came from, that I can’t really see. At this point, I’m feeling irritated and that my time is getting wasted. He finally gets back over, sits behind me, and I put my car into drive to drive off. Suddenly, I get this pounding on the back right door, and this chick is like hitting my car so I stop, and she opens the door and is like “I’m going.”

OK. Whatever. The ride is just to Dirty (a sleezy dance club) that’s maybe 5 minutes away, get in so I can drop you guys off and forget you ever existed. Except I can’t. Because they were horrible. The first 2 minutes was them bickering over this guy named Jason, and who he was to her. (Drama) She then asks if she can smoke in my car, and I say no, so she’s like “Rude.” They then are fighting because she originally wasn’t going to come, but now she is, and he’s pissed for some reason (side-slice maybe??) and honestly they’re disrespectful AF and rude as all shit to each other.

She then makes fun of him for being 30. Fam. I literally thought I was picking up 19 year olds for the way these two fuckers were acting. Needless to say, I drop them off, and 1-star them so I don’t ever have to pick them up again.

NEXT RIDE: I pick up this couple from Scandals (a gay bar). We’ll call the guy Seth, he’s the one that ordered the ride. The two get in my car, and something just reads trans about the woman (tall, deeper voice, but gorgeous af, the guy was meh) so I’m just thinking “aww, cute queer couple.” She wants something to eat before going to Holiday Inn (where I just assume they’re staying). But like...there’s something off about Seth. IDK what it is. But my spider senses are tingling. There happens to be a Jack in the Box across the street from the hotel, but of course I have to go through the drive through because it’s that late. I NEVER do drive through rides. Fucking order UberEats. But I was feeling generous, and the woman and I were chatty so sure, whatever. But on the way there, this guy is like...making these really off color jokes. And not in a good way? Like one of them I’m trying to remember the words, but can’t, but basically it’s him joking that he does it bareback (without a condom). STILL assuming this is just some sweet queer couple, we wait forever in the drive thru line, and he’s still making these jokes...like...it’s when you have that friend that tries to copy your mutual funny friend...but doesn’t quite LAND the joke? So it just feels awkward and a little creepy? He says something about “you better order from the dollar menu” and she’s just like “whatever” and orders what she wants, but makes a comment about how her shoes are $600 and if he doesn’t want to pay for a burrito... That is when I realize she is a sex worker, and they’re going to the hotel...well, I don’t have to finish that sentence. But let me tell you...I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER FUCKING THAT SLEEZE!!! So long as she’s a free agent and sex work is what she wants to do, more power to her, but DAMN. After being in that car with that guy for 10 minutes I NEEDED A SHOWER. Barf.

I gave one more ride before taking my break (uneventful) but like the whole time I’m just...annoyed and irritated. And I have no reason for it. I have snacks, I had a good nap, I’m making bank...but I just can’t shake my mood. I come home, and decide to make some soup and have some rustic bread with it...and then I make the MISTAKE. I convince myself I can just close my eyes for like an hour before being back on the road. WRONG. SO WRONG. Big mistake. Big. I wake up at 6 when I was supposed to be back on the road at 4. And the WHOLE TIME I felt weighted and negative and just exhausted (despite sleeping another 5 hours) and heavy. I didn’t want to do anything, was not motivated, and even procrastinated making this post, even though the last couple days I’ve really enjoyed journaling. My anhedonia was beginning to creep back in.

My morning finished with a phone screening appointment for a therapist that I forgot I had, while I had a woman I had just picked up in the back of my car (her car got a flat) because I couldn’t reschedule. I NEVER take calls when I’m on the road. But...at least the woman found out her driver was not contemplating suicide? Though I’m sure she left with questions about who my abusive ex was, and what family issues I might have (since I mentioned both in the call). OH WELL.

So...rolling back around to the first paragraph in this long post. It made me realize what I was feeling leading up to, and then after my nap is my current “normal.” The easy, breezy covergirl feeling I was having these last two days was the mushrooms. The exhaustion, the lack of motivation, the heaviness in my body...that had been gone for the last couple days allowing me to be more me than I have been in a long time. I was no longer smiling. I didn’t want to talk to people. I just wanted to lie down and do nothing, while the days previously I was writing campaign stuff, cleaning, going about daily tasks as if it cost me no spoons. (if you don’t know about spoon theory, you can find it here)

So, now we’re at 12:24pm. The first dose kicked in about 45 minutes to an hour after taking it. I’ve now doubled my dose from 0.1g to 0.2g. I’m taking the rest of the day off to sit and ponder, but I DO need to go get my breaks done this afternoon.

About the pondering: IDK what you believe or don’t but I do somewhat subscribe into the theory of the Law of Attraction. (That link is to the “documentary” about The Secret.) BUT, I don’t believe that that law is something “mystical” (even though I am, myself, a mystic). Rather, I believe that when you approach things with intention, the outcome is more profound/clear/pronounced because you went in with a goal in mind already. For example: you “attract” more successful people in your life to coach you to become successful not because you thought about it and made it “manifest,” but because you thought about it and looked for the tells of the type of success you wanted to achieve and because that was in the forefront of you mind, you kept your eyes open for those things and recognized when they were in your path. It’s easy to find a bean when you’re looking for a bean.

A lot of the articles and such that I read on microdosing before slowly wading into that pool talked about intent. You can take drugs to feel better, but what really have you learned or what habits have you changed to change your life if you’re not using this opportunity to reflect? The idea behind microdosing is not to take drugs. It’s to use a small amount of a substance that has been known for centuries to heal parts of your brain that’s currently misfiring. I remember what my life was like before I had depression. For a couple days I had glimpses of that back. Microdosing isn’t forever; in fact, most say you should only do it for a month at a time, and many have not had to repeat the dosing, but have shaken their depression (or at least to something highly managable) with only one session (about a month, taking a microdose every 4th day).

So, today while I try this 0.2g (which seems about average for a microdose (they can go between 0.1g - 0.5g) I think that’s what I am going to think on. I know that I want my motivation and creativity back. But what does that look like?

It’s now 12:40PM. I thiiiiiink something is happening, because I’m noticing subtle shifts in light. Nothing crazy, but the blue of my Tumblr dash just looks more...blue-y. More saturated.

If you got this far...I’ll keep you updated. 

[silverwoodj]

witter (ˈwɪtə) vb – (often foll by: on) to chatter or babble pointlessly or at unnecessary length n – pointless chat; chatter

COLLINS ENGLISH DICTIONARY – COMPLETE AND UNABRIDGED, 12TH EDITION 2014 © HARPERCOLLINS PUBLISHERS 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2011, 2014

Welcome back to WWW! We had a bit of a hiatus, as some of y’all may have noticed…or not. I won’t pretend that the world begins and ends here. I’m sure most of you, like me, spent the past few weeks living life. And if you are, indeed, like me, you’ve been picking yourself back up by your bootstraps, dusting off those laptops and writing again.

Let me backtrack by saying this was one hellish summer for me. I spent the first few months utterly stressed and emotionally drained. For my fellow artists, you can attest this doesn’t breed creativity. It’s so easy for creatives to fall into a proverbial black hole (hopefully not literally ;)) This season I’ve tried my best to not fall into the pits of despair. Instead, I found reasons to keep going. I finally finished re-reading Pride & Prejudice. I read a lot of Psalms from the Bible, and I played far too much Dragon Age: Inquisition. I won’t apologize for the last one, either. Sometimes we need to decompress. And since I don’t currently have an art room or giant mural to paint out my frustrations, I took it out on the legions of dark spawn instead.

Finally, there came a day when the weight was gone and I could breathe again. And let this be a roundabout lesson for you, fellow artists. Only after I had let go of the toxic in my life, could I finally write again.

Some of you may be unaware I published another book during all this. Well…a short episode in a larger serialized novel. So let’s call it a novella. The technical book is called Angel Blue and I’m still in the process of publishing Episodes 2 & 3. Did I have to publish three episodes? Not necessarily. But I’ve always wanted to try serialized novels, and this seemed like the perfect story to try an episodic format. After all the hard work I put into Silver Hollow 2018 earlier this year, I wanted to publish something fun and easy to write/read. I’ve been posting teasers here and there you can check out. Or you can just hit up my Angel Blue tab to learn more and see the fun graphics I made 🙂

While publishing Episode 1 of Angel Blue, I realized it was high time to turn my attention back to the next mammoth project in my queue: BOUND BEAUTY. Did you like the All Caps there? I thought it would help impart the weight this book will end up having. Each book in my Wylder Tales series has grown in size (sans Wolfsbane’s Daughter of course). So I have a feeling Bound will be a wee bit of a doorstopper. I definitely have a lot of story to tell, either way. Between bringing Vynasha into her full potential and finally confronting Grendall and the curse. Not to mention her complicated relationships between the village (Baalor, ahem…) and her brother, our girl has a lot to work through.

I was so nervous about starting Bound again. Probably because last year I spent months working on what I thought was Bound, only to end up adding it to the end of an Extended Edition of Scarred Beauty. I’m not complaining of course. I knew Scarred needed a bit more to tidy up that story and character arc. But last winter, as I returned to the drawing board, I had no clue how to bring my characters from Point A to Point B. And while I wrote chapters and found breadcrumbs of inspiration, something felt off.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your story is to take a step back and let yourself grow. Read more, live a little and write other books. I rewrote and expanded Silver Hollow and Angel Blue. In the process, I worked with two new editors and several beta readers. I read a lot of books in my quest for the almighty 100. And I watched shows with brilliant storytelling.

I published the first episode of Angel Blue and then froze in terror at the prospect of Bound.

Who’s to say I’ll know what to do with this, any more than I did last year? the voice in my head whispered.

Then one day, I sat down at my keyboard and started writing. The story flowed out of me so fast and so easily it startled me. Where was the struggle I had been expecting? Well, you’ll recall I spent months sitting on this concept. I spent the past couple of weeks re-reading a lot of passages from Wylder Tales and diving back into these characters and the world. And since this series is a prequel to Silver Hollow, I knew what I wanted to convey. Which lead me to Vynasha’s motive and suddenly I was right there with her in the Forgotten Village with the Iceveins family.

I’ve got about fifty pages written so far. Once the last episode of Angel Blue is published, I’ll begin sharing teasers for Bound with you. But one day at a time, as my dad says. Speaking of, I’d better go write while my kid is asleep. Time for Earl Grey, the Game of Thrones soundtracks and more dark and twisty adventures through the Wylder Mountains. See you soon!

      #WeeklyWriterlyWitterings ~ Catching Up a.k.a - Detoxing via #DragonAge, Pride & Prejudice, oh and lots of #writing witter (ˈwɪtə) vb – (often foll by: on) to chatter or babble pointlessly or at unnecessary length…

[soitendslikethis1606]

Travel journal 2017

I wrote this once on my phone just before we lost our passports and the panic attacked and I forgot to save it so here am I writing this again. I am in the airport, about to fly back to Singapore. We have ended our first long trip together. We have never stopped moving for the past 3 weeks. We walked everyday for at least 6-7 km, taking any walk that google map suggests as below 30mins. In the last unexpected days in Paris, it went up to a lot of 1hour walks because we were just fed up with the crowded and fifthy metros, as well as the nerve cracking mentility we had every time we get on it, worrying that some pickpocketing might happen again- although we had had almost nothing left to be stolen. The walking is partially because we don't drive but also because we see so much more when we walk. Plus, I just enjoyed walking with Anh, we never ran out of things to talk about. One day we walked up to 20km, hiking up to a waterfall in a small town on the other side of the lake from Annecy. Next day, we cycled another 20km around that lake. The craziest hike was from Odda to Trolltunga, up to 1100m attitude, 11km up, 12km down on the next day. 1km extra because I hurt my knee and couldn't take the stiff slope down. We came ill prepared. Not enough warm clothes and water proof materials for our backpacks. It was raining on and off all day on the day we went up. Everything was wet as soon as we reached the iconic 'touge'. Anh fell down several times, some were funny to watch, some just made my heart literally skip a beat. I saw snow for the first time but it's just too cold for me to be excited about it. Cold, slippery, exhausted. We camped overnight on the top. It's scary... but the view was just so breaktaking that we almost forgot how scary it was to hike under the rain in clothes that are suitable for just a lovely sunny day. The most surreal moment was when the fog gradually went away and the sun shone on the rocky side of the mountain. It's lit up, shimmering.. I told Anh it made me almost believe in God. Next day we went down it was the most beautiful sunny day I've ever had. Never before have I so yearn for the sun. I took a fall on the way down, hurt my butt and bruise my arm badly. I think the bruise is just making me look tougher, or making people look at Anh subspiously, thinking there is some kind of domestic abuse going on between us. We talked to Howard- an ex military man and Maika- a professional trainer for outdoor activities and outdoor living - they are two guides leading us up and down the mountain. They are just super human to us. When asked what the highest mountain she has ever climbed, Maika said it's not the highest one that is the toughest, it's the longest one. Hers was a 15day hike continuously, carrying her own clothes and food supplies for the whole journey (for this tour, they carried food, tents and sleeping bags up for us, we only carried our clothes and essentials yet at the 4th or 5th kilometer, and already it felt like rock on my back). People in Norway also speak fluently several languages. Even the girl serves at our hostel restaurant speak fluently 5 languages and is learning another 2. When she spoke to Lucille- a French friend we made staying in the same hostel room in Odda, Lucille said she has perfect french. How amazing is that? We came to realise how physically weak we are compared to people from else where in the world and there are so much more, so many things for us to learn in this life. It motivates me to learn Chinese now as I'm back.. I'm just not sure how long the motivation would last until I need another trip for motivation :P Being on top of Trollunga is one of the proudest things I've ever done and I'm sure Anh feels the same. Definitely best moment of this year and most of all I've got to share it with Anh. ----- I had a mix feeling toward Paris. I'm not going to defense Paris from Anh anymore about how filthy, messy and choastic it is and how rude people are in Paris. Sorry French friends, there always are nice people and rude people anywhere I know that for a fact, but we tried our best talking to people as much as we want to get to know the place and its people. We just didn't get much friendly response, not to mention the increasing crimes in the city. The police just gets used to thef and pickpocketing reports. One policewoman even talked to us as if putting my wallet inside my backpack and had it stolen is entirely and obviously my fault. However, Paris is still charming to me in a way, put aside all those bad experiences. We didn't have anyone else apart from each other to talk to when we were there- maybe that's one of the reason why Paris is less exciting. But we found our way to entertain ourselves. I went to a jazz club and danced it off with Anh for the first time. Believe it or not, 6 years together and I've never been to a club with Anh before. Yet suddenly with jazz, the modern, trendy dance moves became irrelevant. They played in the basement built with bricks walls, low ceiling and not every spacious. The lead saxophone stopped at the end of each song to introduce the name of the next sone with a short description. I like the way he did that- reminds me of the scene in La la land where Seb told Mia that people don't understand jazz because they never really listen to it. Jazz always just music in the background in restaurants or some gatherings. So the way the lead saxophone introduced each song made me feel like each song is beautiful and they mean it everytime they play it, that people actually care, that they were there for the music itself- not something jazzy in the background. We danced to two or three songs, crazy moves. We were the worst dancers.. but who cares haha. The rest of the time we watched people dance. Night fell and we walked a little bit to North Dame, sat in front for a while then went home. It was Anh's birthday that night. It was a successful birthday: we had good Pho, listened to live jazz and walked the city of Paris with endless talking. I was deeply thankful to whoever has the power to arrange for people to meet each other because I met Anh and we stay together, and tomorrow wouldn't be boring even though I had no idea what we were going to do the next day. I knew with Anh we would have fun.. Paris is all about art- that's what people say. Of course we had our own art experience too. We went by the Lourve and saw people ridiculously queued up for, I guess, a kilometer long under the sun just to come in and see the tiny Mona Lisa. I wonder how many of them actually understand those artworks in there. We came back here later after we lost our passports and stuck in Paris. The queue was better and Anh asked if I wanted to come inside for once, since we were already there. But I looked it up online and their paintings are from the renaissaince period- which I'm not very much interested in.. so we didn't come in. Instead, Musee de Orsay just made my dream come true. Monet. Van Gogh. Manet. Renoid. Camille. Gauguin. Bonnard. Even Picasso before he drew abstract and cubism. All of them in one place. I remember finding their paintings when I was a kid looking through dad's magazine cutouts; when I was in school daydreaming on tumblr during school lessons; when I was in my darkest days. And they were just real in front of my eyes. I could see the strokes that they made, how big the paintings are (poor Van Gogh he got the smallest paintings which made my heart sank), how different it is to look closely and look from distance. I could smell the oil paint in the rooms which I think just another trick the museum does to stimulate experience; yet it really got me. I discovered new artists I never heard of before but I love their paintings in there. Anh hadn't really been into art.. but he accompanied me to these place anyway. I love it when he said he loved Monet's the Water lily bond and the House of Parliment London; love that he cared about what I like. Nexy day we went to the Centre Pompiduo. This was where it channelled Anh's inner 9gag boy. We debated for a good hour on whether modern art is really art or just people's way of bullshiting their socalled arts. It was a good talk yet I still couldn't turn him around- at least we shared. We were just hanging around in the campus and watching this performance artist sweeping yellow paddy rice. His exagerating movements made it feel like he was dancing. The way I saw it is that he was making those stroke on the black floor using his random movements and create quiet interesting texture on the floor. After awhile there was another girl came in to continue doing that for him. Anh just hated it, he said they are pretendious and exagerating shit to make it look artistic but it has no meaning. We had another good talk over that until we were hungry and left. That's the only reason he could convince me out of some place I got hooked to. I regreted not coming into the exhibitions. Maybe some good, thought-provoking, meaningful masterpieces in there could convince Anh for me without saying a word. ----- Castellane is soooo lovely. Perfect weather. Sunny but not so burning. We were staying at a BnB not far from the town centre with Leo and Petra. They are the loveliest couple I've ever met hands down. We had long chats with them every morning during our breakfast about so many things- like me and Petra trying to convince Anh to believe in real modern art. One morning Petra rushed to our room calling our names, asking if we want to see a troop of thousand sheeps, donkeys and mountain goats on their journey up to the mountain. We ran to the road, stood by, waiting for them. There were literally thousand of them! 1060 to be exact. They each had a bell on their necks and the whole troop make an oschetra when they walk. It's just amazing.. I've never seen so many sheeps before, nor the way farmers do their work. Petra let us know that they travel up to the higher alpes in the summer for greener grass when it gets too hot and grass on flat land turns brown. We tried to talk to some of the farmers and felt so heartwarming that although their english is really limited, as much as our french, they tried to tell us about their journey. (See Parisians.. they are just farmers and they speak english to us). Up until we met there, they have walked 12km in 10 days. We walked with them for a while then left for out water trekking trip. The water trekking trip almost scared the shit out of us. Gorge de Verdon is so beautiful, so so beautiful, even better seeing from below, just above the water. The water was so fast and strong, it's scary at the same time. We were floating, letting our bodies go with the water flow. There are times I thought my head would hit a big rock. The route also includes some jumping off a high rock onto the water. And I think I would never forget the feeling I had in the moment after I just throw myself in the air and before my body touches water. It's indescriptable. Next morning we felt like seeing the animals again so we went for a hike up, tracing after their poops- yes they poop a lot along the way. But then we lost track, couldn't find them and end up at the lake. I made Anh do some kayaking. While stopping for our lunch, still on the boat, a spider appeared and Anh freaked out- no suprise for me. After we managed to turn away from the burst, the spider out of sight, he said he really wanted to jump down into the water. Apparently he couldn't. He was halfway finishing his bread with pate filling, couldn't risk wasting the food. Yep, that's my boyfriend. Not until were we in Castellane that we had a full course real french dinner. The first dinner was delicious! Just like the restaurant's name: Ô Delicion.. we were the first to be there. The French usually have late dinner, around 8 I guess. We usually get hungry around 6 and always need to wait until 7 when the shops are open. I had terrine for appetiter, Anh had artichoke soup. The soup was really nice and I kept thinking about how beautifully shaped the artichoke is before it's cooked- just a random thought. My main course was devine, tenderly cooked port chop with a kind of mushroom that I had never had before. It went with 2 sides: fish egg and some kind of baked egg with vegetable. Anh was jealous of my main dish because he only had average fish with the same sides for himself. The French are really great at cooking. Even the Vietnamese food is better in French than in anywhere else we've been to. I told Anh to stop comparing them to the British because it's such an insult- do the British really cook anything good? ---- Almost 2 weeks since I'm back. Finally got my sound sleep back last night. I've always been exhausted. So many things to catch up and so many plans to be done. Tonight Ellen didn't take the train home with me, chi G didn't join me for dinner. I have the evening for myself. I feel sad about not having Anh beside me. I remember feeling we were so strong and we could be anything when we were together. Now we are apart- he couldn't fix my computer and I couldn't attend his graduation. Maybe I just miss anh. I think of the good time we had when we were on the trip. Reading the news about Dear Vincent movie remind me of Annecy- a lovely town down south France. I regret we had time but didn't try to ask around if the movie was being screened there because I knew its premier screen had just ended a week before we arrived. Now I need to wait until they screen it in Singapore which would take forever... not many people interested in such movie I suppose. When we were in Annecy it were the sunniest days of the trip. We fell right in love with the airbnb we stayed in as soon as we arrived. Cecile- our host showed us around with phone in her hand, a translate apps open ready. The house is isolated from the touristy madness outside in the market. There is a lovely garden leading to an openning where you can go down to the river running across the town. We spent afternoons sitting there, seeing people above the bridge, waiting for the ducks and swans to swim by and feed them. Anh totally loved that activity, best with an ice cream in hand (ice cream is for him not the ducks).

[cassidy-malta]

June 1: Goodbye & Goodnight

 Our last trip was bittersweet. We took a weekend in Catania, Sicily and didn’t quite have the time to really do all that much, but we did get to explore ruins, shops, and see the military helicopters overhead as the NATO Summit was just forty minutes away. It did, however, feel good to start and end our semester together in Italy. Our first trip was to Rome, our last to Sicily. There was lots of reminiscing to be had!

(I can’t say that I particularly desired to see the local mythical magical elephant, but suddenly I was there and I can confirm that it is probably quite magical)

(me, completely underwhelmed by some breathtaking statues)

(my favorite place in Catania was this little nook with cute little bars and ample succulents! Me and my tropical crop-top felt right at home!)

(say no more, I’m hooked)

(poor Roman statue has had to carry his arm around in a basket for the last 1000 years. Bummer, dude)

(probably a saint or something. This place was even more catholic than the Vatican - if I can say that - as there were shops left and right selling rosaries and pastoral robes. I thought about getting my dad one but then I saw the price tag and decided that I’ll get a job instead)

(art and fun and plants- what more could a girl need? the answer is wine)

(a little Mary-nook)

“Eventually, however, I will have to pack up and go back to the United States. Today in particular I have been pondering what I will bring with me back. Tacky souvenirs, sure, but I will bring back much more valuable intangible souvenirs. I will go back to the United States knowing that through my service learning opportunities, my positive attitude, and participation in university lectures has made Malta a little bit of a better place. I will have gained many new friends both in my Luther peers, my University of Malta peers, and the people I met in every corner of this island. I will be braver, able to conquer new and bigger challenges that I thought possible just a month ago. Hopefully I will be a little smarter and picked up a culinary gift beyond putting a potato in the microwave.

Armed with a newfound confidence and a serious case of the travel bug, the midwest is going to receive a different girl than it sent out into the world. I hope that I never lose the slack jawed-knotted stomach-pounding heart excitement and intrigue I felt on that very first day. I know that I will spend the rest of my life finding those moments and allowing them to chisel and chip away at me; however, despite being chipped away at, I will return bigger, stronger, and with more than I left with.”

-Cassidy Woods, February 2017, Initial Malta Reflection

(look at this scared little college kid trying not to cry as she embarks on the adventure of a lifetime)

Written a mere 114 days ago as a pre-trip reflection, I look back on these two paragraphs and have to stop an absurd little giggle from rising in me. How naive I was! I could pick these two short paragraphs apart sentence by sentence and comment on each aspect, but instead I can sum up all my thoughts in retrospect with the simple sentence: I severely underestimated Malta. The midwest is certainly getting a new woman when my plane lands at four in the afternoon on Saturday. I am a little smarter, a little braver, a little bit more confident, but a helluva lot stronger than I left.

I thought that life at the University of Malta would be parallel to my life at Luther College but I could not have been more wrong. This is the aspect of the culture that was the toughest to navigate. The two hour lectures failed to get my attention and the all-or-nothing final exam is quite possibly the worst thing to ever happen to me. The classmates that I thought would be my new best friends turned out to leave us sitting in the back of the classroom, speak exclusively Maltese, and whisper nearly every time we opened our mouths to contribute. It has given me an insane newfound respect for the international students in America. I was always kind to them, but I had always felt like it was an exclusive group I could not be a part of. Now, however, I know that when you’re international, it is damn near impossible to integrate into the local community of students who have infinitely more in common and many years more than I will ever have with them. I’m really hoping I can bring this new experience back to the states and become a more passionate person. 

I also thought that I would walk out of this experience having had the best time of my life with 13 new friends. Unfortunately, that is not totally the case. Consider this my “tell-all” blog post. Imagine showing up in a very bizarre foreign land with 13 other people with different upbringings, ideas, opinions, priorities, and motivations for being there. None of us had ever lived in an apartment before and very few of us even knew each other before departing. Mix in a couple miscommunications and a sprinkle of gossip and you’ve got a big recipe for disaster. There were days that the group dynamic would cause me to call my mom and dad and literally BEG to come home. A few trips I strategically planned to “get away” from it all. Sometimes, I would make dinner and retreat to my bed for the rest of the night to avoid the others. However, I am not blameless. I admit that I engaged in the pettiness, the back talking, and poor communication. I judged before I knew, and I could be unyielding in my opinion. This has been a semester of growing up. I’ve learned how to take responsibilities for my actions, how to apologize, and also what I will and will not/can and can not tolerate from other people.

(here’s the entire group the first night we arrived! Each one of these people are special and amazing human beings and we all accomplished something spectacular together, even though we don’t all get along)

It’s not all bad though- don’t despair! I’m just trying to be realistic and make sure you all know that this semester hasn’t been all flowers and rainbows. While I’m not leaving with every one of my classmates as a friend, I am leaving with a few new life-long friends. Maddie, in particular, has been my rock and my partner in crime. She’s always been down for whatever adventure I have planned or a late night snuggle, wine, RuPaul’s Drag Race, and whine night. From roommates who unwillingly ended up living together to best friends, she’s been my most constant support. Maddie isn’t the only friend I’ve made- even in these last few weeks I’ve made some new friends- both my classmates and locals. 

(this goofy girl is one in a million)

The midwest is getting back a lot more than it bargained for when it kissed my forehead and sent me out into the world. I can now plan a trip, manage my money, grocery shop, do basic home repairs, and live incredibly independently - things I never really needed to do before. I can be 100% on my own in massive metropolitan areas (London) and non-english nations (Switzerland). I’ve learned loads about my own mental health and surprised myself by my bravery and fortitude. My culinary skills have developed- dare I say, they blossomed- and now I can cook a potato in the microwave AND season it. I’ve chipped at a bucket list and crossed things off I never even fathomed adding, secured a new identity as a WORLD TRAVELER (omg), and I have been forever changed. 

Recently I had a deep chat with my dad (Mike Woods? Deep chat? SHOCKING!) where we mulled over the Apostle Paul (light conversation in the Pastor’s family). According to the book of Acts, in 60 AD, Paul shipwrecked on the little island of Malta on his way to Rome for trial. There is no archeological evidence that Paul was ever here. That being said, I think there is something beautiful and admirable about these island people taking an unconfirmed myth and running with it- integrating it into their entire cultural identity. 

(the biggest feast/holiday of the year in Malta is the Feast of Saint Paul’s Shipwreck- we stumbled upon it our first time in Valletta back in February)

In Acts, Paul writes: “After we were brought safely through, we then learned that the island was called Malta. The native people showed us unusual kindness, for they kindled a fire and welcomed us all, because it had begun to rain and was cold.” (Acts 28: 1-2, ESV)

Paul was shocked by the natives “unusual kindness”- something I have experienced. They trusted him and took him and the other shipwreck survivors under their wings- a remarkable display of compassion and love from a nation that is repeatedly colonised and taken over for strategic gain. Essentially Paul was a refugee and they took him in without fear of attack - something that we can all learn from. I'm a resident, not a tourist or a local. A weird liminitive state between belonging and not. I get to witness and experience both sides of the relationship. The Maltese welcome and display excellent hospitality to the tourist. The tourists, in turn, are eager and excited to learn more about Malta. 

I've been taken in and experienced the same hospitality that Paul experienced. In return, I've tried to honour their culture and respect this crazy little island- living my time here to the fullest. Forever an optimist, Paul vouches that we should engage in, “filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized” (Philippians 4:8-9 MSG). As I look back on this trip, I am going to focus on the moments that were true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious. The best and not the worst. The beautiful and not the ugly. 

(saying goodbye to “Triq Depiro” - the road we’ve called home)

(and saying goodbye to the flat with the red door... heartbreaking stuff, here)

So that’s it. I’m wrapping up this adventure and this blog. I’ve spent the last week in a frantic head spin of unpacking from Sicily, and beginning the process of packing my bags to go home. I’ve taken two finals, written two final research essays, and a handful of reflections. I also know that I am going to be fighting jet lag and stress as I leave Malta on Saturday morning at 6:30AM and arrive in Minneapolis at 4:00PM (I’ve given up on trying to understand how this works). This summer I am interning at Sparkhouse Publishing in Minneapolis, living with my generous Aunt and Uncle in Shoreview- which I move into Sunday afternoon and have my first day of work on Monday. I can’t believe that Sunday morning I’ll be waking up in my own bed, to my puppy’s frantic wiggles, to go to church with my mom to hear my dad preach and see my congregation again (shameless plug to encourage EVERYONE to come see me at Prince of Peace on Sunday morning in La Crescent, MN during service!). I want to send a special thank-you out to the massive list of people who have been following this blog, my special email subscribers, my parents, professors, friends back home, and Luther family. See you all SO SOON. 

Onto the next adventure! 

(from beginning...)

(to end.)