#like oh yeah. i wrote that one smut. huh. it has 100+ hits. huh. 100+ people have read my extremely kinky president smut. huh.--

[fdrsamericanflagduckfloaty]

just realized that the only thing i've fuckijng contributed to ao3 is a bunch of presidential fanfiction and a first couple tag bc their tag didn't exist

[jbbuckybarnes]

Drabbles for Friends - Samantha

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Warnings: Smut, 18+ A/N: This one is for @sassy-pelican​ and I wrote it in my notes app a while back after we talked about a situation like this. I had so much fun writing it and I’m glad I have someone that’s equally as gaga as me to share it with. And with that...here’s the MASTERLIST and a server OG:

Corrupted

You heard a knock at your door, not unusual in the evenings. Instead of the usual post-dinner ice cream heist you had Bucky with his Macbook on him in front of you. "Yeah?" "Can I come in?" "Sure." You closed the door behind him. "So, I have some questions about...sex nowadays." he mumbled a little shy. "Oh, yeah, sure." "Well, I don't know if you're aware but in the 40s you usually waited till you were married." he looked up. "Yeah, nothing wrong with being 100 and a virgin." you shrugged and sat down next to him. "So I've been online and..." "... watched porn?" He nodded. "Half of it is not realistic, just to take the shock away." you put your hands on his shoulder and he opened the laptop. "Do people really do this?" On the screen you saw BDSM porn, "Some people do. Definitely not from the beginning and most of them not this intense. Some people just like pain I guess. But it's not common to do it this intense." He scrolled down, "That's unrealistic." Another scroll & autoplay, "That's not how the average woman orgasms." End of the page, "Those aren't average dicks." He went silent, questioning internally if he should ask how many you've seen in your life. You took a sip from your goodnight tea before he mumbled, "Um, mine's...bigger." Resulting in you spiting out the tea you just drank, looking at him wide eyed. "Ho boy, you have to learn a lot about female anatomy and sex if you don't wanna hurt a woman then." You said, still a little surprised. "It's not as weird as I thought to talk about this with you." He sent another shy smile.

"If you need any advice or literally anything, just come to me. I won't make it weird, promise." You smiled, "The awkward facts are out of the way." "I mean, you could teach me if it's not that weird for you." He scratched his neck. "Like...friends with benefits or like a-" "-relationship. Yeah, if you don't mind, I mean this is a weird q-" He was interrupted by your sudden move onto his lap. "You've kissed before though." "Yeah." He grinned up at you before you craddled his face and kissed him. It turned a little bit more passionate than he expected, "This is usually the point where you-" Your hips were grabbed and pushed towards his center. "Lesson number one. Other than consent obviously. You can kiss me anywhere unless I tell you not to. You can undress me if I don't stop you. You're allowed to adventure my body and reactions, alright?" His left hand wandered under your shirt on your back, making you shiver. Teeth carefully biting your bottom lip. The hand wandered to the front, no bra since you were in your sleepwear, slowly massaging your boobs. Another shiver. "Good. Lesson two, you might need 10-20 minutes of this and similar things to get a woman wet enough for you. Although, I'd have to judge based on how big you are, you might have to do more." You bit your lip seductively and saw his jaw tick. "You like the talking aspect or should I shut up?" "Go on." he grumbled deep. "Hmm, your instincts kicking in, huh?" You smirked before your head was grabbed closer for a hungry kiss. "Damn." You reoriented yourself for a second, "Do you mind if I?" You tugged on his shirt, "No, darling." You uncovered a body that has been through a lot but still looked so untouched. "You don't necessarily want sex today, right? I could just tell you a bit more, show you what I can do." "You're taking the lead. Whatever you want, doll." Your hands wandered down on him, his eyes constantly looking at your amazed expression. "Give me your hand." He held out his right hand and you guided it between your legs. You pushed your shorts aside and let him brush over your damp underwear. "Darlin'!" he went wideeyed and heard you giggle. "You're doing this to me, you know? You make me wet." You said softspoken and saw him swallow. "Do I make you hard?" You whispered and watched him close his eyes in pleasure, trying to not moan. "Show me how hard I make you." You murmured, pulling on his sweatpants and hearing him groan softly. "Relax, I gotchu, honey." you whispered again as you got rid of the last layer, uncovering the true extend of 'Mine is bigger'. "Wow." You couldn't hold that comment back. "What?" he blushed a bit shy again. "I hoped you were joking but, wow. You'd need to eat a woman out before having fun with her." You thought out loud. "Eating out?" He dipped his head. "You know, put your head between her thighs and..." "I assume that's a lesson soon." He smirked with a dark undertone, oh, that man was willing to drive a woman crazy. "You bet it will be." you grinned as you reached down to put your hand around his length. "Fuck!" His head fell back. "Relax and enjoy, okay? This will feel good. I promise." you whispered as you started pumping him under hums and groans. "Lay back." You softly pushed him back before going onto your knees on the floor in front of the bed. "What are you- Fuuuck." Your mouth found its way around his cock. "Holy shit, darling." His hands grabbed onto your fitted sheets, slowly undoing them from the mattress. "Don't stop doing that." he murmured. The hand not around his base went to cup his balls and with the sound of your fitted sheet ripping you felt him shoot spurts of white into your mouth with a deep growl. "Fuck," he whispered out of breath. "Did that feel good?" you grinned climbing back on top of him. "That was...amazing. Damn, darling." He grabbed you down for a kiss. "You wanna feel how wet that made me?" You whispered and saw him shiver. "Put your hand into my panties and be very gentle, alright?" You watched him slowly do as he was told and look up at you to gauge a reaction, "You're doing good." His finger went over your clit and you hummed, "Oh, I learned that women like this a lot." "Most women can only come from this." His eyes went wide, "Only 25% of women orgasm because of a dick inside of them. Which is why porn is so misleading." "But you still want me to explore, right." He smirked and went further, closer to your wet channel. "Put two fingers inside of me." He looked up at you with a reluctant expression before doing it. "Is it supposed to be so..." "Tight?" "Yeah." "That's normal. That's why women need to be incredibly wet for men like you to...you know." "Okay, okay..." "Now curl the fingers towards you- Fuck." You closed your eyes. "Woah, women DO have an on-button." He murmured. "Well, some women won't feel shit when you do that. Others will. All women react differently. It's so important to ask them what they like." You opened your eyes again. "And what do you like?" He smirked. "A mouth on my clit and two fingers inside of me." You whispered and watched him bite his lip. "Sounds like something I should learn." "You want to watch me get off?" You asked softly as his fingers left you. "Do you have...um." "Yes, I have sex toys. Should I show you and use them?" "Oh, so that's common?" "Mostly, yeah." You opened the bedside drawer and got out a little bag. "What does this do?" "You put it over or around your clit. Feels amazing." "And this?" "Oh, that goes inside." "Do these feel better than...men?" "Mostly. But I like sex cause I'm close to someone. You know?" "Yeah." "Which one?" "That one." "Uh, that'll make me come fast. You wanna watch up close or get off too? I don't mind either." "You're not an object, darling." "I know. Answer the question, baby." "Umm." "Pull off my pants." Another jaw tick and he carefully removed what you were wearing. "Push my legs apart." You murmured and he did with a bite of his lip. "Woah, that's all from what we just did?" "What can I say, you turn me on quite a bit." A cheeky smile was interchanged. You placed the vibrator with the two ends around your clit, having it push open his view even more. "Touch yourself, for me, okay?" You bit your lip, got a distracted nod back and pushed the button. When you started to moan you saw him move his hand around his dick, when you started whimpering you saw him look you up and down before fixing his eyes onto your center. When you started to tense and shake with groans and moans he encouraged you, stroked your legs. When your chest quickly rose up and you put your free hand over your mouth he watched white cream leave your body. His too, but he didn't pay attention to that. You were still panting and shaking when he crawled over you, "That looked like it felt awesome." A dumb smirk was on his face, "God, you can't just lay over me like that." "Yes, I can. Didn't you say it might be easier to fuck you if you you already came?" He grinned and you felt his cock growing hard again. "We can try." you whispered a little surprised by his eagerness. "Guide me." "Let your instinct guide you...and maybe your softne- fuck yes." He slowly pushed into you. "God, so tight." He groaned. "So big." You whimpered back. "Gosh, darling. You feel so-" he growled into your ear. "Fuck, you hit that spot so good." The moment he bottomed out he groaned and looked down at you with a smile, "I understand the whole deal now." "You can just manhandle me however you need me. Want you to have a good time." "I'll take you up on that offer." He murmured before drawing back and pushing back into you, making you moan out. "Faster, Bucky, please!" You panted. "Alright, doll." He drove into you faster and faster, getting moan after moan after moan out of you. "Darling, want you to come with me." he whispered into your ear, your face grabbed by his other hand, driving into your body so deep. "Yesyesyes. Bucky, I'm gonna-" He felt you squeeze around his dick and felt a new level of bliss. "Fuck, darling, that feels amazing." "You like how nice I squeeze around your cock?" You bit your lip. "I like how you just say what you want and get so fucking dirty. Holy shit." he panted on top of you before falling down onto the bed next to you. "I corrupted you, huh?" You chuckled cuddling up to him. "I want you to keep corrupting me if that's what corruption feels like." he grumbled before pressing a kiss into your hair.

(You get a cookie if you understand the two pics in this post)

[dancing-the-hellfire-rumba]

Promises We Can’t Keep

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Implied smut, a bit of cursing( I don’t know if I should tag that) Challenge: Bailey’s Birthday Challnge by @jayankles Prompt: 9x08 - Between a Rock and a Hard Place Word Count: 2.117 A/N: I had no internet and couldn’t wach the episode so this fic is based on the Supernatural Wiki page and transcripts so sorrynotsorry if stuff is not 100% accurate, I kinda had to guess their reactions but I think I did okay. Thanks to Bailey for letting me participate in this awesome challenge. Reminded me a lot of the oldschool fanfiction I used to write (it’s still out there. 50 chapters of absolute horror) Also huge hanks for the bilionth time to @queen-fierfly Enjoy :D

“We hope you enjoyed the tour!” Bonnie smiled brightly “Any questions before we get you guys registered?” The two, humongous –if I said so myself- men looked at each other. The taller one, long hair reaching bellow his ears, grazing his jawline, cleared his throat.

“Uh, yeah, uh, look, um, Ms. Futchko-“Boy, was he awkward.

“Oh please,” Bonnie smiled again “Bonnie will do just fine” Ugh, I hated her.

Who would’ve known I’d have ended up in a church, trying to figure out what the hell was going on in a town where random people disappeared and instead of actually interrogating witnesses, took a friggin tour. The two poor bastards that were supposedly interested in the tour, two mountain-tall men with beautiful eyes, didn’t know what they had coming to them if they became part of that church.

“Bonnie. Okay, uhm, we… we love the church. We do, but… Well, we heard that a few members have gone missing, and, to be honest… that kinda scares us” I held back a snort. ‘Kinda scares us,’ puh-lease, don’t make me laugh. You’re 50 feet tall and more built than the majority of America’s population, who are you kidding dude.

The slightly shorter man, clad in flannel, just like the Tall one who was either his brother or… boyfriend –it would be a shame, really-, shot me a look, eyebrow raised. His bright eyes searched mine for an indication of… something. He didn’t find it. In response, I chewed my mint gum obnoxiously and shrugged in a ‘me? I didn’t say anything.’ manner. He smiled knowingly.

“Let me assure you, with our increased security, ‘Good Faith’, has never been safer.” She tried to be reassuring, but you could see her almost panic that she’d lose us. She reminded me of those horrible infomercials that lasted 10 minutes and made you want to break the tv “And those people who have gone missing, well, they are front and center in our prayers.”

“Amen,” I feigned relief and smiled as hopefully as I could muster. The Short one nodded in agreement.

“What a relief. Now, you must’ve been, uh, close to them” Something smelled fishy with these two.

“Well, we do share the A.P.U. bond.”

“The what now?” I butted in.

“Our chastity group, “Abstinence Purifies Us” “

Oh boy.

“Oh.” The Tall one said “W-wow. You mind if we sit in on that, maybe see if it’s for us?” He asked kindly.

“Oh, I want in too! Sounds like fun.” Everyone glanced at me. I shrunk back a little.

“I’m afraid it’s members only. I’m sorry, it can get pretty personal.” Her lips pursed and her orange curls bounced a little.

“Then count us in”

“Me too” I grinned. This time my grin was partially true. I realized what was up with the two men.

They were hunters.

How did I not realize earlier?! Built, fading scars on every part of skin that saw the light of day, jumpy and wary, scanning the area as if something would jump them any second now. Jeez, I was oblivious.

“Well, I’ll be a squirrel in a skirt, I’ll be back in a jiff with the papers” Bonnie grinned and ran out the office, pulling papers from a large filing cabinet.

“Okay, what’s your deal?” The shorter one turned n his seat to ask me.

“Excuse me?” I feigned shock and hurt.

“Come on, sweetheart, we’re not dumb, drop the act” I ignored the shiver that traveled down my spine when he used the pet-name.

“Fine” I scoffed “we’re all hunters here, and I’m not very happy you’re ruining my investigation by the way, but I’ll let it slide for once and we’ll work together, sound good? Okay” With an eye-roll, I dropped back on my chair not leaving any room for argument. They looked slightly taken back before recomposing themselves.

“Great,” Green-Eyes scoffed.

“I’m Sam” The Tall one offered his hand “That’s my brother, Dean” he motioned with his head to Green-Eyes as I shook his hand. Sam seemed nice, I thought as his huge paw drowned mine. Dean was hot, but something told me he wasn’t particularly excited of me joining them.

“Brothers, huh? I was betting on couple, but what do you know” I shrugged, mirthfully watching Sam and Dean’s eyes widen a fraction “Y/n” I pulled away and sat back down.

“So wait, a chastity group?” Dean decided to ignore my comment.

“Dean, listen, if all the members were in A.P.U., then maybe whatever took them is stalking virgins” Sam’s glance danced from me to his brother.

“And the Slim guy said he saw fire.—“

“You went to that scumbag too? What a prick” Sam shot me a questioning look “He tried to grope my ass” I rolled my eyes. “so, what are you thinking, dragons?”

Dean hummed

“Shh,” Sam hushed upon seeing the stupidly happy redhead enter the office.

“All righty” Bonnie handed us clipboards and pens “You can just sign here and your purification can begin” She leaned against her desk.

“Purity pledge?” I read questioningly

“It’s a commitment to your virginity”, She said seriously.

“Uhh… About that…” I trailed off

“I don’t think we can really un-ring that bell. You know what I mean?” Eloquent, I thought, giving Bonnie that ‘woops’ look. She looked both at Dean and I quite shocked.

“Oh, I see. Well, if you ask for God’s forgiveness for your sins and make a new vow of chastity, well, then you’ll be born again as a virgin in his eyes” She smiled brightly, having found the solution to our problem.

“So, wait, you just hit the virginity “do-over” button and it’s all good with the man upstairs?” Well, how ‘bout that. All my problems are solved. I laughed inwardly

“It’s not a button.” I have a feeling she doesn’t like me very much “And this isn’t just a piece of paper” She gestured at our clipboards “I mean, this is your clean slate, your chance to be a virgin until marriage” Well that certainly won’t happen soon.

“Well, you had me at ‘clean slate’. Let’s do this” Dean smiled charmingly and we all signed our names at the bottom of the page.

“Congratulations guys. You’re all officially virgins”

“Oh boy” I muttered as Sam and Dean ‘ah’-ed lightly as if sharing and inside joke. Something told me Dean wasn’t gonna hold on to his ‘clean slate’ for long. Something told I wasn’t either. His charming smiles and flirting comments indicated he was no short of a womanizer. Either that or he was just really insecure and tried to cover it up but the way I saw him check out Bonnie’s ass as she walked away and ushered us out of the office, I wouldn’t really count on the latter.

“Oh, by the way,” Bonnie said, making us spin around to face her. “the meeting starts in an hour.”

And so the boys and I killed our time over coffee and a snack in the nearest diner, exchanging stories. Dean would often stare at me for longer than what’s considered normal. And either Sam nudged him, to which when he glanced back at me I’d wink or smile or something of the sorts, or he’d just snap out of it.

I found myself really interested in the Winchesters. These, seemingly completely normal, Titan-heighted men had been through hell and back and then through hell again and they were standing in front of me, entirely sane, two damn heroes that had saved humanity’s asses more times than I could count. Of course in the little time we spent at the diner, they didn’t brag about their achievements. I kinda forced it out of them.

Sixty minutes passed quickly and we found ourselves seated in a circle that reminded me a whole lot of the Hollywood version of group therapy.

I was thinking this while everyone in the room prayed. Apart from me and Dean of course. I was looking up from my lashes, inspecting the space and the girls around me, all mid-twenties maybe early thirties. I wondered what pushed them to want to be part of the virgins-till-marriage club.

I saw Sam nudging Dean and motion for him to pretend to pray. Dean rolled his eyes and then closed them. I did the same, waiting for the cue to open them.

“Amen.” A woman with chin-length wavy blonde hair said, I think her name is Suzy, picking her head up. “Now, does anyone have anything that they would like to share?”

“I wrote a new piece of verse!” another girl got up excitedly “It’s called sex is a racket, and God’s ball is in your court” She grinned and took a deep breath, ready to start talking

“Aand we would love to hear that Tammy- later” Tammy sighed and sat back down, slightly disappointed. “Why don’t we hear from our new friends? Sam, what brought you here to reclaim your virginity?” Sam, rendered a bit speechless and not knowing what to say, subconsciously waved his hands around in that questioning I-don’t-know-what-to-say-or-do-in-this-situation-help motion. His mouth opened in an o shape. He reminded me of a fish a little.

“Uh, well, I guess because every woman I’ve… ever… had relations with, uh… it… hasn’t ended well” poor bastard. Something told me it went past ‘didn’t end well’. Everyone nodded along. Dean chuckled.

“He ain’t lyin’” Sam pursed his lips again and bitch faced Dean. His older brother seemed unphased.

“Thank you for being here, Sam. Stay strong, stay pure” Suzy replied and suddenly the entire circle in sync stated “Stay Strong. Stay Pure” like they were chanting a conjuration.

“How about you, Y/n?” Suzy smiled warmly.

“Uh… I have tough parents. Let’s just say they weren’t really happy when they found out I popped my cherry and well… here I am” I shrugged impassively. “And you, Dean?” I smirked. “Tell us your story”

“Yeah, Dean” Suzy encouraged “Tell us why you came here.” She seemed hungry to hear his voice.

Dean shot a small glare at my triumphant smile, before squaring up his shoulders. “Uh, hard to say, exactly. Yeah. Sex has always felt, I don’t know, good, you know? I mean really, really good.” He looked around, realizing who he was talking to. “Uh… But, uh… Sometimes it just makes you feel bad, you know?” I could see the wheels in his head spinning, trying to find a good, believable enough story. A lie. “You’re drunk, you shuck up.” He smiles “Then it’s the whole morning thing. You know, ‘hey that was fun’ and then ‘adios’, you know? Always the ‘adios’” He looked wistful.

“But you know, when you get down to it, what’s the big deal, right?” Then he turned and stared at me, a small ghost of a smirk forming on his lips. “I mean, sure, there’s the touching and the feeling of each other, my hands everywhere, tracing every inch of her body, the two of us moving together, pressing and pulling…” his bright green eyes were so intense, challenging me to say or do anything. “… grinding” All the women started shifting uncomfortably, toying with their papers, watching him, probably trying not to drop their panties on the floor and beg him to take them right then and there. The asshole knew it but continued anyways. He was trying to get a reaction from me. “Then you hit that sweet spot, and everything just builds and builds until it all just-“ Dean made an explosion noise with his mouth and Tammy’s paper being crunched between her hands echoed in the room. That, along with his brother’s bitchface and my smug look, brought Dean back. He cleared his throat

“Yeah, uh… But the whole thing was a little too, uh, sticky. So, uh, I got my V-card back.” He slapped his leg cheerfully “The End!”

Safe to say I got out of there on wobbly legs.

Sam headed to their room –we found out we were staying in neighboring motels-as Dean offered to “escort me” in mine. I laughed at his face and muttered a mocking ‘sure’ to which he pretended to take offence.

“Hey, I can be a gentleman!” He pouted.

“Key word being ‘can’.” I winked, unlocking my door. “Coming in for… tea?” Tea, Y/n?! Seriously?! Dean practically laughed at my face

“Suuure”

And, predictably, three minutes later I found myself pinned against a wall, racing on who could take his clothes off quicker while kissing. The kisses were messy, full of clashing teeth and laughter and awkward angles but, my God, I didn’t give a single fuck about it.

I won.

“Shoulda known not to wear five hundred layers, Winchester” I grinned, under him, hands tightening in his hair, a moan dying on my lips as he sealed them with his.

“We’ll see if you’ll be throwing any more smartass comments in a minute, sweetheart” The mischievous glint in his eyes sparkled.

“We’ll see if you’ll hold out for even a minute, Dean-o”  I arched up to him, lips messily contracting his.

“That a challenge I hear in your voice?” He grinned. I winked

“Only if you prove me wrong”

And holy hell, he did.