#like okay girl we're all in the toilet at least you get to stay in the netherlands i have to go back to my toilet country

[yugocar]

meeting other slavs abroad is simultaneously the best and worst experience

[larabiatasstuff]

I get bullied in school a lot and my teacher has been acting totally indifferent towards my problem, when I was trying to reach out for help 😮‍💨

I just wish there were people that were more compassionate. Could you imagine older Terry as a PE teacher? Being more understanding and approaching the bully or giving me a pep talk to build up my self esteem?

🥲

Oh anon I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't know why people feel the urge to turn others down. And what shocks me the most is that your teacher doesn't take this seriously, bullying can destroy people. I desperately hope that you have at least a few people you can count on when you need them. I'm more than happy to write a PE Terry for you. I'm sending hugs and much love to you anon 🖤 Stay strong 💪

AU PE teacher Terry Silver (CK)

I was shaking while walking to the gym. It was Monday and that meant PE was on the schedule and I hated it. The only thing that was good was our teacher Mr Silver, he was always kind and nice and always listening to the problems of his students. I took my time cause I hoped that Trina and her girl gang got already changed. I don't know why they didn't like me or why they always made fun of me bullying me day after day. I tried to reach out for help from our principal but he didn't take me seriously, nobody did. When I arrived in the locker room I looked around, none of them was seen. I decided to go to the toilet before changing and as soon as I stepped inside, the door slammed shut and locked. I heard laughing from the other side of the door. "Trina please open the door." I said trying to keep my voice steady. "Trina please open the door." she mocked. I felt tears welling in my eyes, that wasn't fair. Suddenly Mr Silvers voice was heard "Ladies what takes you so long, I want to start. Wait where's Y/N?" again laughter. "Oh they have some serious business in the restrooms." "Okay you three get out of here I'll join you in a minute." I heard the door close and then a soft knock on the bathroom door. "Y/N, it's me I'll open the door now okay?" "Okay." the key turned in the lock and the door opened. "Hey Y/N are you alright? Are you hurt?" I shook my head. "No it's just... they're just being mean again and I don't know how long I can take it anymore . I never did something to them. I'm just myself. Well yes I dress different, I like different things but that doesn't make me a bad person." "How long do they do that to you?" he asked with a worried look on his face. "For months. I tried to tell the principal but he didn't take me seriously." "You know, when I was younger I was like you. I got picked on because of my ponytail or the things I was into and it really turned me down. Then I discovered karate and got my self esteem back. I finally had the mindset to ignore all those idiots. You're a good student and a very nice person. How about that we go outside and try to have fun and later I'll accompany you to the principals office okay? I'm by your side the whole time and maybe we find something that helps you to get your self esteem back. " I gave him a small smile. As soon as we got into the gym Trina started mocking me again" Ooohh do you smell that? It seems our lovely Y/N here made a big number two in the bathroom."" Enough!!! Trina you and your little friends will visit the principals office after class. Please have a little warm up we're playing dodgeball today except for you three you will run a few rounds around the building. " " What? How many? " Trina asked" Till I say it's enough so hop hop. " she stomped angrily" That's not fair, just because we had a little fun? I will talk with my father about this. " she said " Oh that's great I wanted to call him anyway. And also if the other person isn't in on the joke it isn't a joke. You talk about fairness? Is it fair to constantly hurt and bully someone just because they're different? We will have a serious talk about this,with your parents and the principal, now go I gave you an exercise " with a loud groan the three girls made their way outside. " Alright, we need two team captains, how about Y/N and yeah Sara choose your team members. " Mr Silver said and after a long time I actually had fun in PE class.

[pbandjesse]

It was a beautiful day. I had a really nice time. It was not what we expected but it was still very nice.

I didn't work. James had to go further background before they went to their meeting up with museum and I miss very happy because they made me biscuits so I got dressed and packed my lunch and headed to the car. It was a nice drive out to camp and I got there around 9:00. And as I was driving Elizabeth texted us because camp did not have any power. Which if you remember from the summer is not good because not only do we not have lights we also don't have water. So that was going to be interesting today and we were supposed to have 50 kids and a bunch of adults.

But it did not work out that way. Instead we got there at 9:00 and the power guy came by and asked me how many buildings we had when I told him 20 he was very upset and was like oh man that's going to take forever. But he found the down the wire pretty quickly. And then Heather and Sarah and Max were there and we kind of figured out who was going to do what and went to set up.

Me and Heather want to set up the hacienda because we figured it would be the best place to put them for bathrooms and we would get water so you could do a gravity flush but that ended up not working out because those two toilets don't have reserve tanks so we had to use one of the Alaskan cabins but at least they could have their lunch at those tables that we set up. So we worked on that and me and Heather talked and it was a good time.

Soon the bus was coming and we expected all the kids but then only 15 kids got off the bus and five adults. So instead of us each leading one program four times we just stayed together as one group and we each led one program. So we had a very easy day.

I went first with ground elements and I think it was really good though the adults they had did the same thing that there's adults did the other week and just wouldn't stop talking and giving instructions. When the kids while they were yelling at each other we're doing a good job doing teamwork. And eventually one of the teachers jumped in for a program later in the day and said they couldn't lead anymore because they couldn't handle it. Which I felt defeated a lot of the purpose of the trip but fine. It's your kids.

Two of the boys that were older, 5th graders, really stepped up to be leaders and that was really great but they would get very frustrated when the little kids weren't listening to them. Which I totally understand but it was a little hard when they were like on the verge of screaming. At one point the boy goes to his adult, now I understand why you get so upset with us. And that was very funny.

Max took the second program and his games went okay. I don't think we had like a really good program breakdown but I think they still had fun at least. Though they were cheating in the blindfold game. Me and Sarah helped with that a little bit but mostly we just sat in the grass and enjoyed the nice day.

I walked them to the hacienda for lunch. They had ordered pizza. And they shared it with us which was so nice of them. And I enjoyed my egg salad sandwich a lot but it was also nice having a pizza snack after.

They took a long lunch because they were just taking a while and then we did our last two programs. Sarah led the other ground elements and then me and Max and Sarah all work together for our low ropes program at the end of the day. And while they struggled to spot each other they did a pretty good job and nobody got hurt. I did feel bad I had to have a couple of the boys sit out because they would not stop touching the lines and the one little boy started freaking out because I made him sit down and start kicking a tree. And I'm just looking at the other teachers and being like hey you stepped in every other time why did you not step in this time? But it's fine. We handled it and honestly it was a good guy they were good kids.

On the walk back to their bus I was talking to two of the girls and one of them asks me what the length is of my wingspan And so I reach my arms out and she went in for a hug. And I'm like you could have just asked! I love hugs! And then I got a couple more hugs and it was very nice.

The kids stayed for a couple extra minutes to have a snack and we cleaned up. They helped us pack all the chairs away which was very kind of them and Elizabeth said I could leave whenever I wanted. I stayed for an extra couple minutes to help finish up getting the kids out and then it was time for me to go.

I was going to go straight home but I decided to go to Goodwill instead. I meant to go to a different Goodwill but it took me to the one in Towson and while I don't normally like that one because it's pretty slim pickings. They almost always have one or two excellent things. And that's exactly what happened this time.

Almost immediately I walk in I look at the bags and I find an LL Bean backpack suitcase that is basically brand new and is in great condition and is $15. And while James was going to use my old suitcase for our trip this might be a better option and it is so nice. And then I walk around the corner and I find a pair of Teva slippers. Something me and Jess have both been looking for that are like $80 normally for 10 bucks and while they're too big for me I'm going to bring them to just this weekend and maybe she can have them and it was a very exciting find. So I enjoyed walking around and looking at more stuff but I didn't buy anything else. I was just having a good time it was a good day.

I did go home after that and I felt a little weird. A little overtired. But I got back in one piece and James was here and I was very happy to see them. I got all of my stuff from the car and showed James the backpack and they seemed really excited about it. And then I got my knitting and we got in bed to sit for a few minutes. James was going to go to the grocery store and then they told me that tomorrow we should go walk at fort McHenry so we can see the cherry blossoms that are down there before they all blow away in the wind. But then I would have to backtrack to get my materials for with heart and I got really upset for a few minutes but I asked James if we could just sit for a little while and then I would go to the grocery store with them and we could get dinner and we could stop and get my materials today since Anna said that they were ready.

And honestly that was another thing that upset me today because I apparently was not supposed to do the portrait painting on Sunday that was supposed to be for the next class but we're not having class this weekend because of Easter so I'm a little confused about that so I'm not sure which one of us was wrong and honestly I don't even remember if I was the one that grabbed those bags or Naomi did or where they were there was a lot happening. And nothing was missing from the bags so I don't know what happened. Either way it was fine. It's just hard for me to feel like I keep doing stuff wrong at this job and I haven't figured out a great groove yet because there are so many moving parts but so many people with different opinions about how things are done. Whatever.

While we and James were just chilling for a few minutes while I did one row for my blanket to follow up with Amtrak about our crew stuff and we got someone on the phone almost right away which was pretty cool and they said we should be getting the tickets and stuff in the mail this week and we don't have to really worry about anything so I feel good about that. They said it's usually between 45 and 30 days out from the cruise and we're right in that window so hopefully soon but he said if we don't get something in the next week to call again. And I just feel very excited about our trip because it's really coming up very soon and that's exciting but also scary.

We went to art with a heart first And James came inside with me so I could show them how I pick up all the materials just in case they ever have to do it for me. Which shouldn't happen very often but just in case. And then we went to Hamden to have an early dinner at goldenwest.

It was a good dinner. The thing that James was originally came to order they were all out of and I got a spicy vegan chicken sandwich that was a little too spicy for me but was good. I only eat some of the actual spicy part I really enjoyed my fries and the bun and the avocado a little. And I saved the rest tomorrow probably make a sandwich with that tomorrow. Really was just nice to sit with James and we talked about stuff and it was a good time.

James was being fake bullying towards me because on the walk from the car to the restaurant we found a set of TV trays that were wood and a little messed up but I'm pretty good condition and I insisted on James taking them back to the car. And then after we ate I found a IKEA bookshelf that I insisted that we take. And James is like all of this is not going to fit in the car and I was like yes it will. And did and I am very happy. Even if James was bullying me and I told them this was literally in your vowels that you liked this about me so you cannot complain about it now.

Then we went to the grocery store. And while they didn't have everything we needed but still a good time and it wasn't as depressing that was last week. It was still bad but it wasn't as bad I feel like. And then we went home.

I brought everything inside and James brought the front of her upstairs. I would clean out all of our kitchen storage stuff so that I could reorganize that use the new shows to spread out everything and I think it looks great. So much cleaner. And I organized all of our drawers that we have suggested given us because I felt like they weren't being utilized well and then I reorganized the counter. And doing that I went to wipe everything down and got sapped because there was exposed copper wire in the plug for the French. And I noticed that there was a little bit of scorching on the fridge itself so that made me very nervous so I called James because they had gone down to do laundry and then take a little walk around the block and I was very upset about this. So when James came back upstairs we unplugged the fridge and they held the cord while I put electrical tape on it but that's very much not good I'm not sure why it would happen. Maybe it was rubbing against the counter? I'm not really sure but it did upset me and that was not cool. I called my dad and asked if the electrical tape would be okay and he said yes. And he kept telling me how proud he was of me. I love my parents.

After I got off that call I finished cleaning up the kitchen and putting everything away. I did the dishes and then I went to go work on another small project I had. Which was a pocket pharmacy.

I saw a TikTok recently, I think maybe Jess had sent it to me, about these pill containers that people are using as pocket pharmacies. Instead of using it as just a boxed old pills they put a little picture of what the pills are and it just looks very cute. And I thought it would be good for our trip. So I worked on that for a while and I think it looks really good. I left one open so that we have somewhere to put seasickness medication later. And then I went to go take a shower and get ready for bed.

And that's what I am doing now. Let's get on my hands hearts really bad right now so I'm going to go put some medication on it and hopefully it feels a little better tomorrow. Thankfully for most of the today it wasn't too bad. I found a new salve that seems to be working very well the daytime. So let's hope that it continues to do so.

Tomorrow. And I have a pretty good schedule. Miss on the line of tour and then I'm watching a cannery. And then me and James are hoping to go walk around the fort. They do have a meeting later in the day but hopefully it will end earlier than they think it will. Either way it will be a nice day. And it's supposed to be very warm. So fingers crossed that everything is great and the kids I have work with are wonderful. I hope you will have a great night. Sleep well. Stay safe.

[bechloeislegit]

Is This Real Life (Or Is This Just Fantasy?)

Chapter 1 - Chloe Walks Away

Author’s Prompt: Two years ago while recovering from a stroke I had several moments where I didn’t know if what was happening was real or just something I imagined. This story kind of touches on that. I hope it doesn’t confuse the reader too much; although if it does, you’ll know exactly what I went through. This is set during the time of PP2.

“This place is sweet!” Stacie said as she followed Beca and Chloe off the Bellas’ bus.

“It's nice, right?” Chloe asked.

“I need to find somewhere to charge my laptop,” Beca said, looking around. “How'd you hear about this place anyway?”

“From yours truly,” a voice said from their left. “Hello, Bellas.”

“Aubrey!” the girls squealed, rushing to hug the former Captain.

“Okay, girls,” Aubrey said, pulling back from the group hug.

Emily remained standing in front of Aubrey with a big smile on her face, shivering with excitement.

“Hi!” Aubrey said. “You must be Emily. Chloe told me about you.”

“Hey, hi,” Emily said.

Aubrey smiled and looked at the Bellas. “Welcome to the Lodge at Fallen Leaves, where Fortune 500 companies send their employees to build their teamworking skills.”

“You run this whole place?” Stacie asked. “Impressive.”

“Thanks!” Aubrey replied. “I realized I had a knack for barking orders and bending people's will. So I made a career out of it. Which reminds me,” Aubrey’s smile fell and she started yelling, “Fall in line, Bellas!”

“She ain't changed,” Cynthia Rose mumbled.

“No slouching! No straggling!” Aubrey continued. “I see you, Jessica.”

Jessica slumped her shoulders and hurriedly joined her Bella sisters in line.

“It is with great sorrow and regret that I had to watch our once proud organization become a national disgrace!” Aubrey walked down the line and glared at each girl, stopping at Fat Amy.

“Can I have the keys to the minibar?” Fat Amy asked.

“Zip it,” Aubrey told her. “The Worlds signifies a shot at redemption. You don't have a chance at winning until you find your sound again. You have totally lost your harmony! So, for the next two days, you will be doing everything together until you regain it. Ladies, get ready to be transformed. You are surrounded by the strength of your fellow Bellas and the support of a proud female tradition. And a few dozen bear traps. So don't stray too far from the marked paths.”

The Bellas look at Aubrey and then each other.

“Okay, great, let's go!” Aubrey yelled.

“All right,” Chloe said with a bit too much enthusiasm.

“Well, maybe I'll just go to my room for a hot shower,” Fat Amy said. “Maybe get a little foot rub.”

“Fat Amy, there are no guest rooms for you,” Aubrey said.

“Then where are we staying?” Fat Amy asked.

Aubrey smiled and had them follow her to a clearing, where there were two tents.

“You’ll need to put up your tents,” Aubrey said. “You’ll be camping out.”

After spending a few hours putting both tents up, the girls stood back admiring their handiwork. Suddenly, they heard a cracking sound and jumped when a tree fell onto one of the tents, destroying it.

“Now what do we do?” Ashley asked.

“You’ll have to all share one tent,” Aubrey said. “I suggest laying head to foot so you’ll have room for all of you.”

Later the girls are in the tent, ready for their first night of camping.

“I don't understand camping,” Flo said. “We're voluntarily living like dogs.”

“This is the worst,” Beca grumbled. “The air we're breathing right now is at least 90% fart.”

“That reminds me,” Fat Amy said, rolling over to stand up. “I need to see a man about a horse. Did anyone happen to pack a spare roll of toilet paper?”

Fat Amy is at the flap of the tent and looks back at the girls.

“Or a moist towelette?”

“Nope,” Jessica said.

“Anyone have a T-shirt,” Fat Amy inquired. “Size extra-small? No? Okay, side of the tent it is.”

Fat Amy leaves and Beca rolls over to face Chloe.

“What are we doing here?”

“We're bonding,” Chloe responded as she reached up and pushed a stray piece of hair off Beca’s forehead. “You seem so tense. Do you need a back rub?”

“Several body parts are rubbing my back right now, thank you,” Beca deadpanned.

“You know, Beca,” Chloe whispered. “We're very close, but I feel like this retreat is really gonna let us discover everything about each other.”

“Is that right?”

“You know,” Chloe continued. “One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't do enough experimenting in college.”

“You're so weird,” Beca said.

“Thanks,” Chloe said with a big smile.

“I wanna go home,” Beca said, rolling over so her back was to Chloe.

The Bellas were still trying to get comfortable and kept shifting around.

“Were you touching my goodies?” Stacie asked, pulling up her eye mask to look at Cynthia Rose.

“Yes,” Cynthia Rose responded.

Fat Amy’s voice came from outside the tent. “Guys, I just need some help. Can you sing something? The pipes are a bit blocked.”

Chloe started singing Natalie Imbruglia’s Torn; the other Bellas sans Beca joined in.

“What kind of white shit is this?” Cynthia Rose asked, looking around the tent.

“Thanks, Chloe,” Fat Amy called from outside the tent.

~~ Is This Real Life? ~~

Early the next morning, the girls were awakened by Aubrey yelling, “Up and at 'em, Bellas! Come on! Let's go! Let's go! Let's wake up! Let's do this! Come on!”

The girls slowly rose and made their way out of the tent. “Pick up the pace, girls! Come on!”

Once all the Bellas were out of the tent, they got in a line and looked at Aubrey.

“Today we are going back to the basics,” Aubrey began, “to re-learn how to sing as a group, while also enduring death-defying team-building trust exercises.”

“What a great idea!” Chloe exclaimed, earning a glare from Beca.

“Okay, so let's begin,” Aubrey said and led the girls to their first exercise.

~~ Is This Real Life? ~~

A few hours, and several team-building exercises later, the girls were harmonizing and singing Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy.

When they finished Aubrey clapped her hands and said, “Great. Okay, that was two steps away from being almost fine.”

“Sorry, but what are we doing?” Beca asked, looking at Chloe.

“We're rediscovering our sound,” Chloe responded.

“Are we?” Beca asked. “'Cause it feels like we're just singing songs that would never go in our set.”

“Beca, come on,” Chloe said.

“No,” Beca said. “None of us know how to beat Das Sound Machine, but I know it's not gonna be by doing this.”

“This is just an exercise in finding harmony, Beca,” Aubrey said. “Sometimes you have to break things down before you can build them back up again.”

“I've got more important things to do!” Beca exclaimed.

“What could be more important than this?” Chloe asked.

“Nothing,” Beca said. “Forget it.”

“No,” Chloe countered. “You don't think that we haven't all noticed you've been a little checked-out lately?”

“Come on, Beca,” Fat Amy said. “Just tell her.”

“I heard that,” Chloe said, glaring at Beca. “Tell me what?”

“You misunderstood me,” Fat Amy said. “I clearly said rumpcheckapersmellin.”

Chloe threw a confused look at Fat Amy.

“Listen,” Fat Amy said. “I don't want you guys to fight. You're Beca and Chloe. Together you're ‘Bloe.’ And everyone loves a good bloe. So...”

“Okay, you really want to know?” Beca said, turning to face Chloe. “I've been interning at a recording studio and a legit music producer wants to hear my work. God forbid I have something going on outside this group.”

“Okay,” Chloe said. “So why would you keep something like that from us?”

“Because you're obsessed!” Beca yelled. “You all are. We're graduating, and the only person thinking about life after the Bellas is me.”

“What is so wrong with being focused on the Bellas?” Chloe asked. “The Bellas have been my family for seven years.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you're too scared to leave!” Beca shouted. “Sack up, dude!”

“Girl fight!” Cynthia Rose yelled out.

“Okay, so you've been lying to us for the entire year,” Chloe said, her face red with anger. “And now you're just gonna flake out on us? When the Worlds is right around the corner?”

“My God!” Beca yelled. “Enough about the Worlds! I can’t...I'm out of here.”

Beca turned and started walking away from Chloe.

“Okay, so you're just gonna leave now?”

Beca looked over her shoulder at Chloe as she yelled, “We all have to, eventually, Chloe!” Beca started walking away again. “It might as well be now!”

“Beca, wait!” Emily called out.

“If you all knew what was good for you, you'd follow me,” Beca told the Bellas as she continued walking.

“Beca, the signs!” Emily yelled.

Suddenly, Beca was jerked up into the air and was now hanging in one of the traps Aubrey had warned them about.

“Oh, my gosh!” Emily called out.

“No, Beca!” Fat Amy screamed, running to stand under Beca. “Beca!”

“What the hell?” Beca cried out. “I'm stuck! I'm stuck! I'm seeing spots! I'm seeing spots!”

“Well, well, well,” Chloe said, looking up at Beca with her arms crossed over her chest. “Look who needs our help.”

“Not cool, guys!” Beca yelled down at her.

“No,” Chloe yelled, dropping her arms to her sides with her fists clenched. ��What's not cool is you taking out your frustrations on us!”

“Really?” Beca said. “That's what you're gonna say to me right now?” The net shifted downward, causing Beca to yelp, and scream, “Help me! I'm dying! I'm dying!”

“We need to get her down!” Stacie yelled.

“We need a ladder!” Fat Amy said, looking at Aubrey.

“No,” Aubrey said. “We don't believe in ladders.”

“What?” Fat Amy asked.

“They suggest a corporate hierarchy that is counter-productive to my team-building program,” Aubrey explained.

“What kind of operation are you running here?” Fat Amy asked. “Seriously, this whole place is, like, full of booby traps! And guess what? Boobs should never be trapped! Unless it's for support if you have lower back issues.”

“Okay!” Beca called out. “If I'm about to die, I'm sorry! I didn't mean any of that stuff I said. Chloe, I love, um, all of you! I love all of you awesome nerds, and I love being a Bella. I'm just so stressed out right now.”

“She can’t even tell me how she feels with her so-called dying declaration,” Chloe thought to herself. “I’m done!”

She had enough so Chloe turned and walked off in the opposite direction, not bothering to wait around to make sure Beca was saved from the trap.

“Chloe?” Beca called out to the redhead; Chloe didn’t even slow down. Beca then said, “I’m sorry.” As she watched Chloe continue to walk away from her and the Bellas, she whispered, “I love you.”

Beca felt tears come to her eyes and wiped them with her hand.

“Don't worry, Beca,” Stacie called up to her. “We're gonna get you down! Come on girls, get into formation. We can do this.”

“Let’s do this,” Flo said.

“Fat Amy,” Stacie called out. “Come on!”

“Yes!” Fat Amy said. “Let's focus. Work together as a team.”

“Don't worry, Beca,” Stacie said. “We got…”

Beca suddenly screamed as she fell to the ground, knocking Fat Amy, Stacie, and Emily to the ground with her.

“Oh, thank God,” Beca said, laying where she landed.

“She's alive,” Fat Amy said.

Beca and the girls stared up at where Beca had been hanging to see Lily putting a knife in her waistband.

“I sleep upside down like a bat,” Lily said.

Beca suddenly jumped up and limped over to Aubrey.

“Did you see where Chloe went?”

“She went in that direction,” Aubrey said, pointing towards the woods.

“I have to find her,” Beca said.

Beca started to limp off in the direction Aubrey pointed.

“Beca, wait,” Stacie called out, causing Beca to stop and look back at her. “You’re hurt. You need to get checked out.”

“I have to find Chloe,” Beca said, falling as she took a step to continue going after Chloe.

“Beca!” Stacie yelled as she ran over and dropped to her knees next to Beca.

“You won’t get far on that ankle,” Aubrey said, kneeling next to Stacie. “Let us take you to the camp nurse and have her check you out. When she’s done with you, we’ll all go looking for Chloe. Okay?”

“Yeah, Beca,” Emily said, standing behind Aubrey with the rest of the Bellas. “We’ll all help find Chloe.”

Beca looked off in the direction Chloe had walked and then looked back at the Bellas.

“You’re right,” Beca said, her shoulder slumping. “But, we need to find Chloe and fast. I don’t want her out there all night.”

“We will,” Aubrey said. “I promise.”

“Thank you,” Beca said.

“She’s my best friend, too,” Aubrey said quietly.

“She’s so much more than that to me,” Beca said, as tears stung her eyes. “I just have to tell her.”

~~ Is This Real Life? ~~

Chloe had continued walking, not even looking back when she heard Beca scream. She walked to the outskirts of the woods and followed a trail she saw. She doesn’t know how long she walked when she realized she had no idea where the trail led, and it was getting darker as she went further into the woods.

Chloe stopped and looked around; she realized she was lost.

“I’ll just turn around and go back the way I came,” Chloe thought.

Chloe turned and started walking back. She again walked for quite a while but was still in the woods. She stopped again and looked around. It was getting darker and she was suddenly frightened.

“Help!” Chloe yelled. “Somebody! Anybody! Help!”

Chloe started walking again. She hadn’t gone very far when she tripped over a large tree root and fell to the ground and rolled down a small hill. She had the wind knocked out of her and remained on the ground.

Chloe must have blacked out and when she came to, she wasn’t sure how long she laid there. She sat up and looked around to get her bearings. She saw a large looming shadow off to her right and decided to walk toward it. She was becoming more and more uneasy as the wind had picked up and she could hear thunder in the distance. She quickened her pace.

As she got closer, she realized the thing she saw was a cabin. She rushed to the door and it opened as soon as she turned the knob.

“Not a moment too soon,” Chloe mumbled as heavy rain started to fall.

Chloe closed the door and jumped when thunder boomed outside. A lightning flash lit up the cabin and Chloe looked around.

“This must be one of the cabins that belong to Brey’s lodge,” Chloe thought.

Chloe pulled out her phone but found she had no service. She tapped her flashlight app and turned it on. She noticed a light switch by the door and flipped it a couple of times, but nothing happened.

Chloe searched the cabin and found a food pantry stocked with canned goods. She also saw a wood-burning stove in the corner of the kitchen; next to it was a stack of wood.

Before she did anything else, she checked to see if the cabin had running water. It did and she let out a squeal of excitement. She washed the dirt off her hands, wincing when the soap got into the scratches she received from the fall she took.

Chloe continued to be startled every time the thunder boomed. After cleaning her hands and her scraped knees, Chloe continued to search around the kitchen, finding a small pot, some soup, and a can opener.

“I guess it’s soup for dinner,” Chloe thought. “That’s if I can find a way to light the stove.”

Chloe rummaged through the drawers and found a grill lighter; she flicked the switch and lit the flame to make sure it worked. She then managed to get the stove fire going and placed the pot of soup on to heat.

While she waited for her dinner to be ready, she lit a fire in the fireplace. Once it was going, she stood and warmed herself by the fire. After a few minutes, she went into the kitchen to search for a bowl and spoon and found some candles. She lit a few and placed them around the cabin.

The fireplace gave off a bit more light than Chloe had expected, so she sat on the small sofa and ate her soup.

Chloe’s thoughts were on Beca and she wondered if she was okay. She felt bad for walking away when Beca was in danger, but she needed to remove herself from the situation because she was angry at Beca and didn’t want to unload all her frustration toward Beca on her; especially in front of the girls.

Chloe was hurt that Beca didn’t tell her about her internship. Fat Amy knew about it, why didn’t Beca tell her? They were supposed to be best friends.

Beca had been so enamored with Kommissar, the leader of DSM, that Chloe’s competitive nature got the best of her. She knows she’s been a bit over the top with getting ready for Worlds, but the Bellas’ very existence was at stake. She couldn’t let them be disbanded and not do something to stop it.

But now, in a moment of honesty with herself, she knew she was competing with the DSM woman for Beca’s attention, more than she was trying to keep the Bellas together.

Chloe wiped a tear from her cheek. She almost fell back down on the sofa when she stood. Her body ached; she took the empty soup bowl into the kitchen. She then grabbed a candle and made her way slowly down the hall toward the two doors she had noticed earlier. She opened the first door to find a bathroom. She left the door open and used the candle to search the medicine chest.

“Perfect,” Chloe cried out when she found a bottle of pain pills.

She checked the second room and saw it was a bedroom with a set of bunk beds. She also noticed it was chilly, so she grabbed the blankets and a pillow from the bed, carrying them back to the main room with her.

She laid the bedding on the sofa and checked the time on her phone.

“Nine o’clock,” Chloe exclaimed. “I wandered around in the woods longer than I thought. I wonder if anyone is looking for me? I’m sure Brey will send out a search party for me in the morning.”

Chloe noticed the rain had quieted down. “I guess I should get some sleep,” she muttered.

Once Chloe got settled in her makeshift bed, she lay there staring into the fire. Her thoughts were of Beca and why she was so upset with the way Beca acted around Kommissar. She was Beca’s best friend and she was worried about her. That’s all it was, right?

“No, it’s not,” Chloe muttered.

Chloe turned over and then thought about Beca keeping her internship from her. Why did Beca tell Fat Amy, but not her? That part hurt almost as much as the way Beca acted around Kommissar.

“I guess that’s what happens when you fall in love with your best friend,” Chloe thought and wiped a tear from her eye. “God, I just wish I could tell her.”

Chloe sighed and turned to stare into the fire again. The flames dancing around hypnotized Chloe and she was soon asleep.

[rogermyreligion]

Your period

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Female Reader.

Summary: You just have your period and you boyfriend Roger tries to make you feel better. Thats it.

Warnings: None really, menstruation and some sexual innuendo but mostly domestic fluffy things.

Word count: 2,8k

It was 11 am, Roger had gotten up earlier because he had to go to record something with the band, so you were alone, stretching yourself under the velvet covers. You began to feel an extremely pain in your lower stomach, you got up to go to the bathroom, when you went to the bathroom and sat on the toilet you realized that you had your period.

Fuck.

You hated when your period came, body aches, mood swings, discomfort with everything, food cravings, tense muscles. Just a torture.

You came back from the bathroom and took a pill to kill the pain, you threw yourself on the bed, wrapping yourself in the sheets, changing position every 5 minutes thanks to the uncomfortable pain of your period.

After 2 hours (what you felt like forever) you heard the door open, followed by an "i'm home darling" from Roger. It seemed strange to him that you didn't go running to greet him like you always used to do so he looked for you all over the house.

He went up to the room and found you wrapping on the bed like a bug, he leaned to kiss you on the forehead, he thought you were just sleepy.

"How is my princess today? How is my little doll?" he said smiling and squeezing your inner thigh.

That squeeze most of the time ended with Roger's face between your legs or you riding him. But clearly you don't want any of that at this point. Not today Rog.

He noticed your death face, "Wow, we're pretty serious right here uh?" He giggled while kissing your neck, finding a spot near your ear, "Whats the matter?" He hummed.

"Im on my fucking period," you gave him a non-very-content look.

"You have to be kidding," he fussed.

Just as you, Roger hated when your period came, not only because of the fact that you couldn't have sex of course, but because he also hated those mood swings, he hated watching you suffer from pain, he always tries to make you feel good, but sometimes it was very hard to him to please you.

"Well at least we know that you're not pregnant wo-ho!" he said doing jazz hands and smirking.

Your gaze was still serious as you writhed and growled in pain.

Roger placed himself down next to you and hugged you, "My poor baby is in pain, is my girl suffering?" he cooed, looking at you and stroking your hair gently.

You nodded in agreement.

"What do you think about me making you a hot bath while I go to the supermarket for some things for lunch," he said giving you a kiss on the head.

"Okay," you said with a sigh. You just wanted to die on the bed because of the unbereable pain.

Roger got up and rushed to prepare your hot bath, he lit some scented candles he knows you love, he even prepare clean clothes to wear and a robe.

Roger went to the supermarket and you stayed in the shower for about 1 hour at least, you were so tired because of the pain and the hot water was helping a lot to remove it and the smell of the candles generated a lot of satisfaction, Roger clearly knew how to take care of you.

You got out of the shower, Roger had already arrived a few minutes ago but he stayed downstairs arranging the things he brought from the supermarket.

"Rog!" you yelled from the bathroom.

He didn't hear you.

"ROGER!" you yelled again with frustration.

"Coming babe, im coming!" he said running upstairs, his steps getting nearer, "What happened?" he said as he peered through the door.

"Can you get me a tampon? They are on the nightstand," you said while sitting on the toilet half dressed.

"Of course," he said with a smile and rushed to get a tampon and gave it to you. You thanked him but he didn't leave you alone.

"What do you want?" you said with confusion.

He smirked at you, "Do you need help to put it on?" he said in a mischievous tone.

You laughed at his comment, "No Rog, im fine, i don't need your help,"

He shot you a giggle, "Just joking, call me if you need something else, love" he said as he closed the door and went downstairs again.

You finished changing and you went down to the living room to see Roger in the kitchen making some lunch, and for your surprise, it smells pretty good.

In the last few days Brian was teaching him how to cook without lighting the kitchen on fire, and you could tell he was making progress. When you met Roger some years ago, he didn't even know how to make a toast without burning it, but he used to see how his bandmates would prepare food for their girls, and he wanted to do the same with you, such a cutie.

When you got closer you saw a bag that was full of chocolates, Roger flashed you a smile when he saw your happy face, you loved chocolates and more in this cycle of the month, where you could basically eat chocolate without stopping.

"I brought your favorites," he said while hugging you around the waist, his head resting on your shoulder.

"I love you Rog, I don't deserve you," you turned around and gave him a long kiss, giggling in the middle because his fingers were tickling your hips.

"You deserve this and more" he said giving you a kiss on the nose, "C'mon lets have some lunch, i made bacon,"

-

You were currently lying on the couch watching a stupid movie that was being shown on TV, almost to the point of falling asleep. Roger had the brilliant idea of ​​practicing with his drums in the garage, normally you weren't bothered by the noise at all, but today, TODAY, everything bothered you twice as much.

You went to where Roger was playing, the noise getting louder as you walked.

"Roger can you shut the fuck up?" you said while rubbing your forehead.

He stopped everything he was doing, "Oh i'm sorry Y/N," he chuckled as he got up from his seat behind the drums, "I was just practicing something that I came up with," he came over to give you a kiss, but you ran your face away.

"It seems like you are doing it on purpose, you know it bothers me, you are such a dick sometimes," you ran his hands from your waist, "And brush your teeth, for the love of god you smell disgusting," you said with a ugly face as you walked to the living room again, huffing in the process.

Roger could have answered you like the immature he is but he knew what was happening to you and he knew that in a matter of minutes your mood was going to change. He was prepared for everything, if you throw a chair to his head, he will probably just ignore it.

You returned to your position on the couch but now with Roger behind you.

'what the hell he wants' you thought.

Roger put a hand on your shoulder, massaging it a little, "Do you want some massage? I feel you tense," he said in a very low tone.

Your mood changed automatically as you heard those words, you loved Roger's massages, he knew your body so much that he knew exactly how to loosen all your muscles.

"Yes, please" you said with a sweet tone, as if a few seconds ago you had not said 'you are such a dick' but he wasn't complaining though.

He smiled at himself and began to massage your back and shoulders, you were so tense that each movement he did was a relief for your body.

"Aaah yeah, just right there, oh god," you moaned in relief.

He keeps massaging the same place with a little more force.

"Fuck, it feels so good," you said biting your bottom lip pressing your hand with his to guide him.

Roger kept massaging that spot on your shoulder, trying not to pay attention to your moans that were clearly turning him on without realizing it.

"You feel better uh? My bird just needed some massages?" His hands now massaging the back of your neck.

You sighed, "mmhm, much bett- AUCH" you twisted your back in pain.

He giggled, "Sorry babe, you had a big knot there, so sorry," he said while leaving kisses on your shoulder.

-

"I HATE MY FUCKING LIFE!" you said sitting on the bed with a hand mirror.

Roger was taking a nap next to you but your scream woke him up startled.

"WHAT THE HELL!" he yelled worried, but he calmed down instantly when he saw you sitting next to him, looking at yourself in the mirror.

"I HAVE A FUCKING PIMPLE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY FUCKING FOREHEAD" you said while you touched your pimple and looked in the mirror, "I'm so ugly, look at me" you were almost with tears in your eyes.

"Oh, baby that's not true," he was amused as he sat down and leaned his head on the back of the bed, looking at your frustation.

"You are the most beautiful woman I saw in my whole life, the pimples are natural, it will go away in a matter of days, come here," he said panting his chest.

You snuggled into his chest and you were both silent for a while.

"Rog?" you whispered, checking if he was asleep.

"Mmhm?" He hummed.

"You would still love me even if I have pimples?" you said in a low tone and playing with the pocket of his shirt.

"Are you joking?" He laughed, "I would still love you even if you lack a leg"

"I don't know, I feel ugly, I don't know what's wrong with me," you said as you rubbed your eyes with the heels of your hands.

"Darling, you drive me wild every day i see you, you are like a doll, or maybe, more perfect than a doll actually, just look at you for a second, you have perfect legs, warm and soft," he said running his fingertips down your leg.

"An amazing ass," he smirked as he grabbed your ass softly giving it a gently squeeze.

"Perfect waist," he said tickling you a little.

You laughed.

"Oh and I can't forget about these," he said as he ran your hair from your chest to admire your breasts.

"The perfect size," he said as he did the 'chef kiss'

"And last but not least," he said putting a finger on your chin, "Your. Incredible. And. Beautiful. Freaking. Face" he said between kisses.

You just laughed and pressed your lips to him. Roger was too charmer, he knew how to make you laugh. While you were laughing you got lost in those blue eyes, he was literally the man of your life and you couldn't be happier.

He saw you in your worst moments, in your worst moods where you used to yell at him even when he breathed, but then he was there, taking care of you, caressing you and raising your spirits every day. That's why you love him so much since the beginning.

-

It was 1 am, you were sleeping peacefully until a noise made you crack your eyes open, everything was dark until you turned on the lamp on the bedside table, now with the slightly light you could see better, it was Roger, eating one of your chocolates that he had bought for you earlier.

He was only eating a little bit but it was enough to make you mad, NO ONE could eat your chocolates, not even your boyfriend.

"Roger are you eating my chocolates? if it is, I'm going to split your face in two," you said seriously, not a drop of humor left your mouth.

He laughed a little, thinking you were joking, "it's just one baby, you have so much more," he said with chocolate in his mouth.

"It's MINE" you took the chocolate out of his hand abruptly.

Roger chuckled at your expressions, "I just wanted some sweet, please Y/N, just a bite, i'll buy you more if you want to," he said making puppy's eyes while running his hand over your belly.

You thought about it with great concentration, Roger deserved to eat one of your chocolates?

"Well, you can eat it, but I want half of it," you broke the chocolate in half and started to eat your part.

Roger grabbed the other half and began to eat too, "You are like a little child" he giggled, "You just get whatever you want and whenever you want,"

"Of course I get whatever I want" you said proudly, now happy with your chocolate, very focused on eating it.

"You have something on your face love, let me help you," he approached and ran his tongue over your lips collecting the chocolate from your lips.

You laughed while sucking your fingers, "You're naughty Rog, such a naughty boy,"

"Why? just because I get whatever I want? A kiss of my pretty girl?" he laughed as he kissed you passionately.

You cut the kiss after a few seconds "Don't go overboard with me Meddows or I'll never give you my chocolates again, understand?" You giggled, poking his tummy.

"BUT I BOUGHT THOSE CHOCOLATES" he made a face of injustice, but then he smirked, "But well, whatever you say is fine," he hugged you before both of you fall asleep minutes later.

-

'Fuck im so horny' you thought to yourself.

There was a day of your period in which you turn you on a little more than normal, you needed some touch, some relief, you needed Roger.

Roger was on the couch in the living room, he was putting on his shoes, he had a meeting with Freddie in the studio to record a couple of things, so you took the moment to tease him a little, maybe he could stay with you.

You went down the stairs doing tiptoe and walking slowly towards where Roger was, you positioned yourself behind passing a hand over his shoulder, reaching his chest while putting your face on the crook of his neck.

"Hi babe," he said with a warm smile.

You hummed in response.

"I've made you breakfast, it's in the kitchen, I'm going to see Fred, he called me a few minutes ago," he said, caressing your hand.

You just ignored what he has just said, "Roggie you are very pretty today," you said playing with the button on his shirt, "I always loved this shirt, it makes you so sexy, y'know" you kissed a spot on his neck.

He hummed contently, "Babe what is wrong with you, last night you hit me on the back because I accidentally wrapped myself completely in the sheets and you were cold," he laughed remembering the scene of last night, "And now this?"

"Well that wasn't that bad after all," you said refering at the incident with the sheets as you climbed on the couch, now you were on his lap, "Did I tell you that you are the sexiest man alive?" you stuck to his body.

Roger could feel your breasts almost on his face, you knew it drove him crazy, you were playing a good card.

"You are horny, I know you very well," he laughed as he stroked your lower back, grinding you back and forth.

"Maybe... or maybe I just need you to touch me," you said in a seductive tone as you brought one of Roger's hands to one of your breasts and the other to your butt.

"Love, you know i gotta go right now," he said with a nervous laugh.

You started sucking that sensitive spot on his neck, trying to make him fall for your game.

"Fuck woman," he almost moaned while gently squeezing your breast.

"Stay please, stay with me, you don't need to go, Fred will understand," you said whispering.

Roger hummed as he closed his eyes, caressing your butt. Your hips rolling on top of his, tempting.

"We could tell him that your poor girl was horny and she needed a bit of help," you cooed as you keep your work on his neck, lacing your fingers with his blonde hair.

He shook his head, "Nope, I'm not going to fall into your trap," he said pulling you off and throwing you on the couch, "I gotta go or Fred is gonna kill me," he said walking towards the door.

You got up from the couch with a frustrated face and approached him before he left, Roger took your hand and put it in the bulge of his pants.

"You're going to have to fix this when I get back," he said biting his lip.

You could perfectly feel his erection, Roger gave you a kiss and got into his car in a hurry, he was running late, a smile formed on your face thinking about what you were going to do when he returned. You won.

Masterlist

[mintwithchoco]

loonathesmut: Tease

LOOΠΔ Kim Lip x Male Reader

Word Count: 7100 words

Categories: smut, oral, facefucking, facial, subtsundere! kim lip

note; finally after weeks of writing, i'm back with another story! this is a continuation to my first smut, so i suggest you read it first to understand the story a bit better.

this story is also dedicated to one of my favorite writer, @nsfwtwicecatcher ! since he likes giving kimberly lippington a facial, this is gift for him :3 happy belated birthday! (hopefully i'm not too late oof)

special thanks to @arrivalatdawn for helping me out with the story.

again, happy new year and enjoy! ;)

aff link

"That's all for today. Remember to read chapter 7 and 8 for our next class!" The lecturer said before everyone stood up to leave the lecture room. 

You pack your notes and laptop into your bag hastily, rushing for your next event for the day. 

"Hello, baby brother? Can I ask you for a little bit of help? I'm gonna be busy this Wednesday and we haven't finished packing up stuff for our move to the new dorm. Since half of us will be staying at the dorm to finish packing, I figured that they would need some...extra hand. Hopefully you can help out!"

You walked through the crowd of students while keeping a safe distance from them. You looked at the watch on your wrist. 12:14 p.m. You gasped silently and started to run, eventually reaching your car at the parking lot after almost hitting on a bunch of people on your way. Getting inside your car and taking a couple of deep breaths, you calmed the adrenaline rush in your body. After a few minutes, you start the engine, turn on the radio and drive off to loonathedorm.

20 minutes later, you finally arrive at the building where your stepsister's dorm was.  You parked your car at a nearby parking lot, grabbing your stuff and a few bags of snacks that you purchased from a nearby convenience store. You make your way into the building and take the elevator up to the level where the dorm was at. As the elevator reaches the designated level, the door opened, revealing two people that you are all too familiar with.

"Oh, hi oppa!" "Hello oppa!" Both Heejin and Hyunjin greeted you.

"Hey! Where are you guys going?" You asked them as you got out of the elevator.

"We're gonna get some more boxes! We have too much stuff…" Heejin said while pouting. Hyunjin just stares at the plastic bags that you were holding.

"Oh, alright then. I bought some snacks, so be quick before the others finish it. And don't worry Hyunjin, I bought bread as well." You said, making Hyunjin smile.

"Thanks oppa!" Hyunjin responded.

"We'll be right back!" Heejin said and grabbed Hyunjin's hand as they went inside the elevator. You wave at them goodbye and head towards the dorm.

You arrive at the door within seconds. A nervous feeling suddenly came over you as this is the second time you are visiting the dorm. The first time was around a month ago, when Jinsoul invited you to Yeojin's birthday party. You haven't gotten closer to Jinsoul's other bandmates besides Heejin, Yerim and Jiwoo. You got close to them during their debut concert when you visited Jinsoul backstage. You pressed the doorbell followed with a nervous sigh. A few seconds was all it needed for the door to be opened by Chuu.

"Oppa! Come on in, we just started packing!" Jiwoo said in a happy tone.

"Perfect, right on time!" You said and went inside the dorm. Jiwoo goes back to her room to continue her work while you take off your jacket and shoes in the doorway. You hang up your jacket and put your shoes on an empty spot at the shoe rack. As you walk to the living room with the bags of snacks in hand, you look around the surrounding of the dorm.

The dorm was pretty clean but full of boxes scattered around containing the girls' stuff. It was a pretty small dorm for 12 people to live in, so you were happy that they are finally moving out after 3 years. You put the bags of snacks on the living room's table. Yerim suddenly appears in front of you , carrying a box that looked far too heavy for her. You quickly went to her and grabbed the box as her hands were getting shaky. 

"Phew! Thanks oppa! You can put it there," Yerim said as she points to a stack of boxes beside the couch.

"No problem. This is really heavy, are there rocks inside?" You joked.

"It's just some clothes!" Yerim chuckled at your joke.

"Well, surely you have a lot of them. There you go." You put down the box carefully on top of a bigger box.

"Thanks oppa!" Yerim beams a cute smile at you.

"You're welcome. Have you guys eaten yet?" You asked her.

"No, we were too busy packing…" 

"Well, I bought some snacks so-" You sit down on the couch and take out the snacks inside the plastic bags that you brought.

"Let's take a break!" 

"Yeay! Thanks oppa!" Yerim sits on the couch and immediately opens up a bag of Cheetos.

"I'll get the others real quick." You stand up and head towards Jiwoo's room while Yerim munches down on the Cheetos. As you arrive there, Jiwoo is taping up a box while Jungeun is cleaning the windows. 

"Hey guys! Are you done with your work yet?" You asked.

"Uhh, just a bit more oppa. I just have to tape up that box and I'm done!" Jiwoo replied.

"Alright then. Jungeun?" 

"Can’t you see that I'm still cleaning?" Jungeun replied in a cold tone.

Kim Jungeun, a.k.a Kim Lip. Presumably, the sexiest member in LOONA. While her face emits the vibe of a charismatic woman, her personality is completely different. She has a great sense of humor as most of the memes in the LOONA fanbase are about her. She's also a caring and liable person. Jinsol once told you that she is one of the members that usually cooks for the others and she always loves cleaning around the house.

But, for some reason, she always seemed angry at you, keeping her words to a minimum and striking you with harsh facts sometimes. You asked Jinsol why she was acting that way and she simply replied with, "I don't know, maybe she's interested in you." You simply disagreed with her as there was no way you would fall in love with Jungeun since you have Jinsol embedded deep in your heart.

"Jungeun! That's not how you talk to oppa!" Jiwoo scolded Jungeun.

"It's fine. I just wanna say that the snacks are waiting for you guys and it won't take long before Yerim finishes it all,” You said and left the room to join Yerim back at the couch in the living room.

"Oh my god, you annihilated a bag of Cheetos already?!" You hold up the empty bag of Cheetos on the table. 

"Hehe, sorry oppa! Can't help it," Yerim said while drinking her Coke.

"Is there any bread left?" Hyunjin bashed through the front door followed by Heejin who was holding a bunch of folded boxes. Both you and Yerim jumped in shock because of the sudden interruption. Hyunjin quickly sits beside Yerim and searches for her precious bread. Heejin puts the folded boxes at the hallway leading to the living room and joins the rest on the couch.

"Mmm~! Ish bwead ish sho fwuffy!” Hyunjin said as her mouth was already stuffed with bread.

“Yah, don’t talk when your mouth is full! Especially when oppa’s around,” Heejin said as she grabbed a pack of candies from one of the plastic bags.

“It’s fine, it was cute anyways,” Hyunjin choked and spat out her drink as she heard your compliment. Heejin and Yerim just laughed at her as she was coughing pretty badly.

Eventually, Jiwoo and Jungeun joined in after a few minutes. The room was quickly filled with conversations, the girls talked about their successful comeback while you talked about how you almost burned your house down when learning how to make macarons.

Whenever you talk, you realize that Jungeun will always focus on you, even though she was keeping a straight face. She spoke the least out of the six of you and will constantly nod or shake her head to a question. At one point, you made eye contact with her and in a split second, she turned her face away from you, hiding her shyness. 

‘What's up with her?’ you thought. 

But the conversation that was happening was too interesting for you to think about it furthermore.

2:15 p.m. All of you start packing the girls’ room items. Your job was mainly to pick up the boxes or lift some furniture since you are the only male there. Sounded easy, right? That was your thought before Kim Jungeun caught your attention with her outfit. She was wearing a black tank top that didn't do well on covering up her black bra underneath and black tight shorts that were showing off her beautiful legs. 

You wondered why she picked that outfit for the day as it was clearly uncomfortable for her. Her top was always slipping down everytime she moved, allowing you to see her cleavage. You tried to avoid looking at her but she keeps coming into your sight as if it was intentional. Your lower region was starting to get warm and it was definitely not the right time to get a hard-on. You kept thinking about gross things that can help your boner to calm down but the moment when Jungeun bent down to pick up some stuff right in front of you, it was game over. You immediately go to the toilet to cover up your raging boner before any of the girls notices it.

About two hours later, Heejin taped up the final box, officially ending all of the work. All of you sit down on the couch and let out a sigh of relief. You were grateful that no one notices your bulge throughout all of that, otherwise you would be dying because of embarrassment. 

“Hey guys! Sooyoung unnie just texted me that they are at the arcade nearby, should we join them?” Jiwoo asked while looking at her phone.

“Heck yeah!” Heejin excitedly replies.

“Oppa, are you going too?” Yerim asked you.

“Nah, you guys go ahead, I’ll just wait for noona here.” 

“Lip unnie?” Hyunjin asked Jungeun.

“I’m too lazy…” Jungeun said and slowly laid down on the couch.

“Okay then, let’s get ready!” Jiwoo said and went to her room, followed by Heejin, Hyunjin and Yerim. 

“Don’t bother me unless it’s something important.” Jungeun said to you before going back into her own room. You just shrugged off what she said and played around with your phone. After seeing the girls leave, you turn on the TV and watched a drama to kill time. You thought that Jungeun had already fallen asleep since she is tired and you didn’t hear any sounds from her room.

An hour passes by and your stomach starts to grumble. The snacks earlier didn’t really fill up your stomach, so you decided to cook some ramen. Before going into the kitchen, you remember about Jungeun and decide to ask her if she wants some. You walk up to her room’s door and knock gently.

“Hey, I’m gonna cook some ramen, do you want some?” You asked through the door.

“Ugh..hah,” You hear Jungeun’s voice through the door. It sounds like she is struggling, you thought. You knock on the door again.

“Are you okay in there?” No answer. 

“Do you need help?” Still no answer.

Worried about her, you swiftly open the door. Your eyes search for Jungeun who was fixing the window curtains while tip-toeing on a chair to help her reach it. She didn’t notice your presence at all and was struggling with the curtains as it was stuck on the curtain rod. Before you can ask her anything, your attention suddenly diverts to her back that is facing you. You slowly eye her from head to toe a few times before locking your eyes onto her ass. Heck, you know it was wrong, but who can resist closing their eyes to this perfect and handful butt? You were hypnotized, dirty thoughts were already generated in your brain as you stared at them longer.

Suddenly, Jungeun loses her balance as her right foot slips on the chair and makes her fall. Luckily, you were there and reacted quickly enough to catch her from falling. Jungeun was shocked to see you catch her. Not to mention, she perfectly landed onto your arms and you both were in an awkward position of a bridal carry. Time stops for you as your eyes land onto hers, seeing another side of Kim Jungeun who was always giving you cold glares. You feel her body getting warmer on your arms and her cheeks turn red.

“Are you okay?” You asked her.

“Y-Yeah..you can put me down now..” Jungeun spoke in a soft tone for the first time with you, making you also blush at how cute she sounds. You gently put her feet first on the floor and removed your arms from her legs and her back. The air around the both of you was getting awkward and after a few seconds of silence, Jungeun finally speaks.

“Why did you come into my room, pervert?” Jungeun was back to her cold self but her shyness still remains visible on her cheeks.

“Chill out, I was just asking you if you wanted some ramen or not. And, if I didn’t barge into your room, you could end up with a back pain.” You answered back, making Jungeun sigh.

“You got a point. I am feeling hungry right now so why not. I’ll cook though, I don’t trust you in the kitchen.” Jungeun said before heading to the kitchen followed by you.

“The bags of ramen are on the right cabinet. If you wanna add in some more stuff, look in the fridge.” Jungeun said while washing her hands. You simply nod and open the cabinet that Jungeun pointed out. You grabbed three bags of spicy chicken flavored ramen and placed them on the kitchen counter. As you are about to check out the fridge for some ingredients, you saw that Jungeun is struggling once again, this time with getting a pot on the top of the cabinet.

“You know that it’s easy to ask for help, right?” You said and went behind her to reach the pot. Jungeun’s eyes widened as both of your bodies are closer to each other once again. She looks at your face that is focusing on the pot. Seeing how much you like to help her out makes her feel something funny. As she thinks about it longer, she starts to blush madly and her heart pounds fast until she realizes that you had grabbed the pot and saw her blushing.

“Here.” You said while giving her the pot, ignoring the fact that she is blushing.

“Thanks..” Jungeun replied, feeling relieved that you didn’t ask further.

After the little sweet moment, both of you start on making the ramen. You mostly prepared the ingredients while Jungeun does the mixing and cooking. 25 minutes later, Jungeun places the pot of hot ramen that is ready to be served on the dining table, which you have already cleaned and prepared with bowls and chopsticks. The savory aroma of the ramen fills the air, making you drool even more. Both of you sat down at the dining table, facing each other and started to dig in. You scooped a spoonful of the ramen with the ladle and put it in your bowl. You lifted up some of the ramen noodles with your chopsticks, gently blowing onto it to cool it down before putting it in your mouth.

"Mmm! So Jinsol noona was telling the truth about your cooking," You complimented her as the ramen you tasted was very delicious.

"Of course she would tell the truth. But I feel like I've added too much spice.." Jungeun said before taking a sip on her drink to reduce the heat on her tongue.

"I can handle the spice though, you're not that big of a spicy fan eh?" You said, continuing to slurp on the noodles.

“Shut up.” 

A few minutes passed by and the pot was already empty. You both are still eating the last bits of the noodles in your bowls. Jungeun is fanning her clothes, feeling hot because of the spiciness of the ramen. This allows you to have a great view of her cleavage under her tank top once more, which almost made you spat out the noodles in your mouth. Even though the air conditioner was turned on, sweat formed on her forehead and her neck and your eyes focused on the beads of her sweat that was dripping down her cleavage. You gulped. Jinsol would probably kill you right now as your cock started to grow hard again.

“I feel so hot…” Jungeun said as she kept fanning her clothes that were drenched.

“You really are hot, Kim Jungeun.” You say softly, not wanting to be called out as a pervert by Jungeun again. You both finished up the food eventually and you offered to wash the dishes since she helped to cook the food. It was also a way for you to cover your bulge that is sticking out. You cleaned up the dining table and brought the dishes to the kitchen sink to wash them while Jungeun went back to her room.

You dry off your hand with a cloth near the sink after washing all of the dishes. You walked back to the living room and saw Jungeun doing yoga in front of the TV. She was still wearing the tank top from earlier, but has changed her shorts into leggings which hugged her thighs and her cute butt perfectly. She is doing a position where her feet and her hands are on the ground while her hips and her torso are kept high, like a certain sex position. You were stunned at your place, completely seduced by her sensual aura that is making you hard for the third time. You watch every part of her body like a hawk, gradually increasing your arousal level as you already think about how to take her down. You quickly put that thought away once Jungeun realizes that you are looking at her.

“W-Why are you doing yoga at this time?” You ask her before she could say anything in hope that she won’t call you out.

“I wanna work off the ramen that we just ate.” Jungeun said before moving into another position. This time, she lays down her body flat onto the yoga mat and lifts only her torso up with her hands, allowing her butt to clench and showing you how perfect it looks. You bit your lips at the sight, thinking how easily you could rip her leggings off and fuck her ass right at that moment. But you surely don’t want to be killed by Jungeun for suddenly invading her privacy so you have to keep your cool. 

You slowly walk towards the couch and sat there while Jungeun is focusing on the TV that is playing a yoga guide show. You pull out your phone from your pocket and play around with it to distract yourself from staring at her body. As she wasn't looking at you, you fixed up your pants to hide your boner. You scroll through your phone, opening up apps that you never really open while burning the image of you fucking Jungeun in your head. After a while with a few more position changes, the yoga guide show is almost at the end as there is one more position to do. Jungeun lays down on her back and raises up her legs while bending her knees. She places her knees around her shoulder area and her arms on her feet to exert some pressure on it. 

The position is called Happy Baby as said on the TV, but to you, it just looks like she was ready to receive a cock in her pussy. Because she is on the floor, her crotch area is exposed to you and your imagination of stripping her naked in that position is starting to flow. Your dick was painfully hard at this point, and your patience is starting to run out. Eventually, you stand up, planning to let out your desires in the toilet until Jungeun stops you.

"Giving up already?" Jungeun said in a teasing manner.

"I'm sorry?" You pretended to be confused.

"Hm, still want to defend yourself eh? I know you're having a boner right now." Jungeun releases herself from the position earlier, stands up and gets closer to you. Your eyes widen as you are getting exposed by her.

"I've noticed that you've been eyeing my body, especially my ass." Jungeun gives you a little smirk while crossing her arms.

"I-I'm sorry, I-"

"Shh...There's no need for that. I'll forgive you, but with one condition..." Jungeun gently pushes you back to the couch and straddles your lap. She brought her lips to your right ear and blew hot breath onto it, making you squirm under her body.

"Please me, just like how you did to Jinsol unnie." 

The gentleman switch inside your body was turned off once you hear those alluring words. You wrapped her legs around your hips and lifted her up to carry her to somewhere comfortable. You made your way to her bedroom and pinned her down to the bed, not caring to close the door since there is no one else that can witness this sinful act.

"You are going to regret saying that, Miss Kim Jungeun." You leaned your head closer to her and pressed your lips against hers. The taste of her cherry lips makes its way into your taste buds while she reciprocates by moaning into your mouth. You feel her body is getting warmer with each passing second and her kisses are getting a bit more rough. Her tongue asks for entrance in your mouth, so you part your lips and both of your tongues dance while exchanging saliva into each other's mouth. Your hands makes their way down to her thick thighs, the culprit that has made your dick feel pain throughout the three times you got hard for her. You moved your hand up and down, caressing it to show your affection. As you continue to explore each other’s mouth, both of your breaths are decreasing overtime so Jungeun pushes you away from her lips and pants heavily.

“Jinsol unnie was right, you are a great kisser.” Jungeun says and wraps her arms around your neck. You looked deep into her brown eyes and admired her facial features. You gotta admit, she is one of the most beautiful women that you have ever seen, alongside Jinsoul of course. Her gaze that was filled with lust enamored your heart, making it beat faster than normal. 

“Do you want me to suck your cock?” Jungeun asks you and you unhesitantly nodded to her question.

“Eat my pussy out until I cum, then I’ll let you fuck my face.” Jungeun moves her body back to the headboard of the bed, inviting you to strip her naked. Like a cat, you crawl towards her and tower over her body. You grab the bottom hem of her tank top and pull it upwards. Jungeun raises her arms to allow you to remove it from her slim body and throw it away somewhere in the room. Even though Jungeun is not as thick as Hyejoo or as curvy as Jinsol, her body is still a killer, packed with a sexy ribcage, a small waist and of course, beautiful legs.

Your lips instantly latched on her neck, giving her a few kisses here and there to increase the tension between you both. The sweet scent of her perfume was still there despite her being sweaty because of the spiciness of the ramen and the yoga that she did earlier. Jungeun moaned softly at your kisses but tries to silence herself to keep her cold act. Feeling a bit bolder now, your hands slowly reach behind her and unhook her black bra. You heard the hooks come off one by one, eventually letting her bra fall down by itself. A sigh of relief was also heard by you as Jungeun felt the tension on her chest was released. Her perky breasts were finally revealed to you - Jinsol is bigger than her, but you can say that they are pretty handful.

“Fuck, you’re so hot Jungeun.” You say before planting a quick peck on her lips.

Unable to contain your lust for her anymore, you forcefully grab onto her leggings and rip them open, earning a screech from Jungeun that you always hear in the LOONA memes compilation videos on YouTube. “Hey! Calm your hormones down! Thank god that this is already ripped, otherwise I will be chopping your dick off.” Jungeun was slightly mad at you for destroying her leggings but thankfully, she was okay with it.

You continue to strip her naked by peeling off the ripped leggings off her legs. As you throw away her bra and her leggings off the bed, you are slightly shocked to see Jungeun wasn’t wearing any panties underneath her leggings and is now fully naked right in front of you. Fully mesmerized by the sight, your cock was begging to be released from its confines. But, you already had a deal with her - make her cum and you’ll get a facefuck. Easy. 

“Are you gonna eat me out or-ahh..” Jungeun let out a soft moan as you drive your hands towards her clit that is already wet with her juices. You traced her clit with your fingers as you watch Jungeun’s face gradually easing into the pleasure. Jungeun closes her eyes and leans back while you smirk, thinking that she is now under your control. As you continue to move your fingers on her clit, Jungeun spreads her legs and throws her head back, giving you the approval to taste her.

Your hands have moved itself to her thighs to keep her in place while you eat her pussy out. Steadily moving your head down to her glistening clit, you stick out your tongue and lick the juices on her clit, making Jungeun squirm slightly. She tastes sweet and you are addicted to it right away. Not wasting anymore time, you capture her clit with your lips and swirl your tongue, making small circles around it. Jungeun’s hands made it to your hair, gripping onto it tightly as you keep giving her clit the attention that it wants. You feel the burning sensation on your scalp but nothing matters at this point. The only focus that you have at this point is to give Jungeun what she desires.

No progress will be made if you keep using your mouth, so you start moving your hands to her clit and use your fingers to stimulate it. Jungeun's pussy continues to flow out more nectar and her eyes roll back in satisfaction. You pull your lips away from her clit and teased her splayed lips using two fingers before pushing them into her warm and tight cavern. Jungeun reacted with an erotic moan once your fingers enter her body. Moving the joints of your two fingers inside her pussy causes her to flinch around and breathe heavily. She equips herself with a pillow nearby to muffle her moans in reason to keep her tsundere character alive.

You pull your fingers away from her clit slowly and thrust it back inside her deeper than before. You repeat this action several times and eventually find a perfect rhythm. Jungeun was not expecting you to be this good as her moans were getting louder each time you thrust into her. After a few more thrusts, you felt a certain type of flesh inside her pussy has made contact with the tip of your fingers. Jungeun immediately reacts by pulling your hair harder and bucking her hips onto your face even more.

“F-Fuck yeah, that’s the spot...keep doing that,” 

Upping the pace of your thrusts into her, you continue to hit her g-spot. Your lips latch onto her clit once again, this time with your tongue assisting your fingers to thrust into her pussy better. Jungeun has lost control over her body, shaking violently and constantly screaming out curse words into the pillow she is holding. 

Suddenly, Jungeun lets out the loudest scream into the pillow. Her thighs spontaneously wrap itself around your head, locking you in as she climaxes. You feel her juices flowing into your mouth like a waterfall and drenching your palm at the same time. Her orgasm was really big as you failed to keep all of her juices in your mouth. When you feel that her thighs have weakened its grip on your head, marking the end of her orgasm, you pull out your fingers from her pussy and lapped up the excess juice on her folds. You gulp down on her sweet cum and with a big sigh, you move your face away from her thighs.

There is no other sight that can beat the sight that you have now right in front of you. Jungeun’s face was flushed with satisfaction, her legs were still spread open and her chest was heaving up and down as she was still in a daze after her strong climax just now. You smiled, admiring how much of a mess that she has made.

“Hah..v-very well then, you have impressed me. Now, for your reward.” Jungeun said before moving herself away and pushed you to the headboard, replacing her spot earlier.

She straddles your lap once again and smashes her lips onto yours, tasting herself in your mouth that was filled with her cum just now. In the meantime, her hands find the hem of your pants, reaches inside and drags it off your legs. Pulling her lips away from you after several minutes, Jungeun’s face makes its way down to your crotch that shows off your prominent bulge under your boxers. You squirmed as Jungeun cups your bulge and blows a hot breath onto it. She licks the tip of your penis through the thin fabric of your boxers before pulling it down to uncover your penis. You felt the cold air around the room on your shaft, making it throb and twitch harder. 

“Hmm, not as big as I thought, but surely this is enough.” You felt a bullet was shot through your heart.

Jungeun places her hand on the base of your cock, causing it to leak out precum from your slit. She licks her lips before painting a strip of saliva along the underside of your shaft and stopping on the tip. You moaned as Jungeun spits all over your cock and starts sucking on your tip. Her tongue collects all of your precum while her hand spreads her saliva all over your cock, not leaving any parts of it dry. Your cock continued to throb in her small hand alongside your moans that are beginning to increase in volume. 

You can’t believe that the cold Kim Jungeun is now on your cock, giving you the fantasy that you desired. Spitting more saliva onto your cock, her hand glides up and down you with no resistance. Her lips detached itself from your tip, giving her fingers access to it to trace your slit and releasing more of your liquid. Jungeun giggles at the expressions that you were making.

“You really are a pervert…” Jungeun said before indulging your cock into her mouth.

Your body weakens once you feel the insides of her mouth with your cock. Jungeun began to bob her head up and down while still grabbing a hold on the base of your shaft. You brought your hand to her head, running your fingers through the soft blonde strands of hair. As she looked up at you, you realized that she looks gorgeous with a cock in her mouth, a sight that will surely make any man happy. Her mouth continued to fill itself with your length until you felt your tip reach the back of her mouth, causing her to gag loudly. Your hands automatically hold her head as the warmness of her mouth and the lustful gag that she lets out is driving you into maximum pleasure.

Jungeun taps on your thigh after a while as she was losing some oxygen. You quickly removed your hand from the back of her head and Jungeun releases her mouth from your cock with a pop, leaving strings of saliva along the way. She takes this time to breath properly to prepare herself for the next act.

“Get off the bed and fuck my mouth.” 

You got off the bed quickly while Jungeun gets on her knees. After you remove the last piece of your clothing, she parts her lips, ready to receive your cock again. You hold onto both sides of her head and push a few inches of your cock into her mouth. You start your thrusting with a slow rhythm to make her feel comfortable. As she looks up to you with a gaze filled with lust, you push your shaft even more, causing saliva to escape from the sides of her mouth. When your shaft hits the back of her mouth, she gags on your cock, followed by teardrops on her eyes as she is on cloud nine on how well you are using your reward. 

Developing a faster rhythm as time goes by, Jungeun’s face is starting to get messy with her tears and her saliva. You didn’t care about it since you were chasing on your own desires. Sweat formed on your forehead as you fuck her mouth harder. An idea suddenly popped into your mind and after one final deep thrust, you withdrew your cock out of her mouth. Jungeun hyperventilates once you release your grip on her head and wipes off the excessive saliva on her face with her hand.

“Impressive...considering that you haven’t cum yet, you are allowed to fu-” Jungeun was cut off by you grabbing her arms and pinning her to the bed.

“I’m done with you being in charge, now let me take over.” You said sternly, emphasizing on the words, ‘take over’.

Your lust for her was unstoppable at this point. Turning her body around, her face was now buried into the bed. You forcefully grabbed her hips and bent her knees, allowing her hips to stay up. Raising her head slightly to look at you, Jungeun was stunned at your changed behavior. She found it rather attractive, how your eyes were burning with lust and how rough your actions were getting. 

As your hands were still on her hips, you moved them to her butt and gently squeezed her cheeks, causing Jungeun to squirm under your touch. Seems like your idea is starting to work out. Using your right hand to stroke your hard cock a few times, you line it up with the pink lips of her pussy that was radiating with heat. Jungeun feels your tip nudging at her entrance and bites her lip once you push it in further. With a satisfied grunt, a few inches of your cock is finally in her cunt. Her walls were suffocating your cock with its tightness but you ignored the pain that you were feeling. Your hips begin to move, thrusting your shaft into her in a slow manner. Her juices were smearing your length, allowing it to slide in and out of her pussy with ease. Jungeun buries her face into the bed to silence her moans, not wanting to show herself falling into your dominance.

You realize what she was doing and you definitely didn’t like it. So, you grab a handful of her long blonde hair and pull it towards you, raising her head so that you can hear her lewd moans. Jungeun stayed strong however, holding her breath a few times and biting her lips harder to resist herself from moaning. Increasing the rhythm of your thrust into her tight cavern, your goal is to make her moan and give up on her tsundere character. Her body shakes in your arms as your thrusts get more aggressive, considering how you are gritting your teeth while pounding her. You lean your body onto her back and rest your head on her shoulder, giving kisses on her neck right after. 

“I know that you’re enjoying this, so drop the tough act already,” You gave her butt a harsh slap before bringing your lips closer to her ears.

“And moan for me.” 

Like a spark ignited in her body, Jungeun finally lets out her beautiful moans. You smirked, delighted at the fact that Jungeun is now under your spell, which is the pleasure that you are giving her. You continue to thrust into her warm walls even further, increasing the volume of her moans before putting an end to your rhythm and pulling out your cock out of her body, earning a whine from Jungeun.

“Tell me how much you love my cock.” You grab her by the neck and gently squeeze it to force out an answer from her.

“I love your cock so much oppa! Please keep fucking this slut until she cums!” Jungeun screamed.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” You said and gave her ass two hard slaps.

“Ahh! I-I’m sorry oppa…” 

“Lay down on the bed. Now.” Your cold tone sent shivers down Jungeun’s spine and quickly enough, she laid back down on the bed and waited for your actions.

You climb back on the bed and move towards her, putting her under your body. You gave her a quick peck on her lips before spreading her legs apart and lining up your cock with her damp pussy once again. 

“You can’t cum until I say so. If you cum, I won’t hesitate to punish you.” You said and immediately inserted your cock back into her pussy, making Jungeun scream with ecstasy.

The intensity between you both was at its limit as Jungeun leaked out more and more of her juices from her pussy and your cock throbs harder inside the tight grip of her pussy. Your head leans closer to hers, intently gazing into her heavenly brown eyes that filled with passion and desire. At that moment, Jinsol was completely lost in your mind as you have fallen in love with the woman right in front of you named Kim Jungeun. The rhythm of your pounding never slowed down, instead it keeps going faster and harder. Although your back is starting to emit sweat, your lust for her powers your body to keep going. 

No other sounds were heard in the room except for the squelching of her wet and warm walls receiving your shaft, the squeaking of the bed because of your hard thrusts and the symphony of moans from the both of you. Challenging Jungeun’s endurance, your hands land on her perky breasts and begin to knead it gently, aiming to stimulate her into her orgasm. Her pink nipples erect once you use your fingers on them, pinching and pulling it until you replace it with your lips. Gently sucking on her right nipple, a persistent flow of high-pitched moans escapes Jungeun’s lips as the pleasure was too much for her.

“Oppa…please...” Jungeun begged you.

“Giving up already?” You said with a smirk, referencing her words earlier.

Without giving a care to her words, you keep penetrating her hot flesh while teasing her tits. The tip of your cock came into contact with her g-spot and Jungeun screams out your name. You were in euphoria, the pleasure that you were getting was a lot for a man to have. The knot in your stomach is starting to build itself, signaling your upcoming orgasm. 

"Do you want to cum baby?"

"Yes please! I want to cum all over your cock pleease!" 

"Then, cum. Cover my cock with your cum." You demanded.

Jungeun came instantly. You feel as the walls of her vagina gripped onto your shaft. Her juices gushed out everywhere, mainly coating your cock and your balls. Some leaked out and landed on her bed. Her orgasm was bigger than the first one, acknowledging how you have successfully raised her senses. 

"B-Baby..I'm close..." You alerted her.

"O-Outside…" Jungeun weakly replied.

Hearing her words made your brain come up with one decision. You fuck her in a relentless pace as the knot in your stomach grew tighter. Feeling your cock is twitching inside her, you immediately pull out from her tight pussy and straddle her torso, aiming your cock right in front of her face. Jungeun was still weak from her orgasm just now and didn't realize what you were doing. You stroke your cock with a fast motion, easily sliding in and out of your hand because of her juices lubricating it. Eventually, with a big groan, streaks of white and thick semen burst out of your tip, painting Jungeun's enticingly beautiful face. She closes her eyes as she comes back to her senses with more ropes of cum landing on her cheeks and her forehead.

After the last streak of your cum lands on her nose, her gorgeous face is fully covered. You sighed and admired the mess that you had made, the cum that was dripping down and the satisfied expression pictured on Jungeun’s face. Jungeun slowly opened her eyes to be greeted with your sweet smile and your cock that was still throbbing. She was lost in your eyes for a brief moment but suddenly, she pushes you away from her.

“Goddamnit, now I have to clean your filth off, ugh...” Jungeun said and went to the bathroom to wash her face.

“Jungeun I-” You sighed as she closed the bathroom door. 

Jungeun looked at herself in the mirror from head to toe. Her thighs were stained with her own cum, her nipples were still erect due to your teasing and of course, her face was coated with your semen. She smiled. Licking a bit of your creamy semen on her lips, she squealed at how she finally tasted a part of you. Worried that you might leave soon as she has another plan set up with you, she quickly washed her face at the sink and got out of the bathroom. You didn’t realize that Jungeun was already out of the bathroom and were about to wear your clothes before a hand stopped you from doing so.

“Shower with me?”

[hoodharlow]

Stuck with Nowhere to Go

El Novio Quarantine Edition: Part 1

AN: This is part one of El Novio week and I'm gonna be posting a new part for this mini series everyday until April 17. Thank you to everyone that has been supporting me and following Cal and Claudia's story. I love y'all so mucha nd hope y'all enjoy this.

Requested?

Warnings: smut, brief quarantine talk, a small arguement. and overall Claudia being h word for Cal

Word Count: 3.1 k

Calum gently pushed Claudia against the mattress, getting in a more comfortable position as they devoured each other. With one hand balancing himself, so he wouldn't squish Claudia, he used the other to unbutton the flannel she wore. He slid his hand inside her shirt and gave her breast soft squeeze before sliding down to her soaked-through panties.

Frustrated with his teasing touches, Claudia tried to roll him onto the mattress. But he wouldn't budge.

"Cal," She whined against his lips, jutting her hips against his to feel some sort of relief.

"Pretty girl, I know, but your parents are across the hall." Calum mumbled before kissing down her neck.

"It's been three weeks. Please," She sighed. "I'll be quiet."

"Fine, but you have to be quiet. For our sake." She eagerly nodded at him before he continued. "I'm only going to eat you out okay?"

"But—"

"Later okay? When we get to our house, you can have your way with me. I promise." He held out his pinky to her.

"Okay." She pouted, wrapping her pinky around his.

Calum sat on his knees and slipped off his shirt. He tossed it to the side before towering over her once more. A giggle escaped Claudia when he sponged kisses all over her face.

Having enough of his teasing, she pulled his lips back to hers. She wrapped her leg over his waist, helping her stay balanced as she grinded herself against him. Claudia was basking in having the upper hand that she didn't feel Calum's fingers slip in her panties.

He skillfully slipped his ring and middle fingers in her, causing her to loudly gasp and stop all her moments.

"What's wrong, pretty girl?" He whispered in her ear, making her whine. “Want these off?” Calum asked her, toying with the waistband of her panties.

“Please.” She nodded eagerly. He gently patted her ass so she could lift her hips up.

Once Calum slipped her panties off, he situated himself in front of her core. “All this for me pretty girl?” Calum asked. He placed soft kisses on the insides of her thighs. She squirmed at the feeling of his lips. They got closer and closer to where she needed him the most.

She let out an inaudible gasp of pleasure when Calum licked her. She tried closing her legs, but Calum’s grip on them kept her in place. He softly moaned at her taste and savored her, taking his time with his tongue. He pushed one of her legs to her chest, giving him better access to her.

He inserted another while he pressed his thumb on her clit. Claudia felt something build up in her. She felt pleasantly overwhelmed with Calum’s fingers and tongue. Calum felt it too. He sped up his fingers and circled his thumb on her clit roughly.

She moaned out, not caring who heard her, but he grabbed a pillow and covered her face. Calum lapped up her release. He dropped her legs down and laid next to her.

“Happy album release day,” Claudia whispered excitedly after catching her breath.

He grumbled his response, making her giggle. He rolled to his side and traced his thumb under her bottom lip, giving her a quick peck. He got up to the bathroom to finish himself off, but Claudia had other ideas.

“No, let me,” Claudia said. She sat up and pulled him back by the waistband of his boxers. She brightly up at him, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Se me antoja un chorizo.”

“The kitchen is downstairs, Claudia.” He told her prying her hands off him.

“Cal, please let me suck your dick.” She fake cried.

“No, go get ready. We were supposed to be on the road by now. But someone doesn’t know how to keep her hands to herself.” He said before closing her bathroom door. He popped his head out once more. “You better be ready when I’m done.”

***

Calum watched Claudia skip down the steps of Ashton's house when it finally hit him. The last he saw her wear the dress she currently wore was when they went to Coachella the year before. It was probably his favorite dress on her, even if he's only seen her in it once.

"That's the last of them." Claudia said sliding onto the passenger seat. She has baked 'CALM' cakes for the guys in their favorite flavors along with sugar cookies shaped in their initials and in their instruments.

She took off her mask and reached for her now watered down iced coffee. She made a face and set it down in the cup holder. "This is nasty. I fucking hate almondmilk." she mumbled before taking another sip.

"Why are you still drinking it?"

"I have to finish it. It was like five bucks."

Calum shook his head, hiding his smile. He reached for his army green Hydro Flask and took a long sip of water. He capped it and started the car. Pulling the car into reverse, he gripped Claudia's head rest a little tighter as he felt her gaze on him. As he got out of the spot, he watched Claudia shift around in her seat.

"You really have a parallel parking kink." Calum laughed as they left Ashton's neighborhood.

"I do not." Claudia scoffed, crossing her arms.

"Keep telling yourself that. Your tits don't lie." He said, pinching one of her nipples. She smacked his hand away as he checked that there weren't any cars before turning into the main road.

"The AC isn't even on so can't say you're cold."

"Whatever."

Calum shook his head and drove to the nearest Target. When they got there, Claudia grabbed a homemade disinfectant wipe from her bag and cleaned their cart. They went straight to the electronics section so Calum could get a record player for the live stream later in the evening. The needle broke in the one he had and since Ashton demanded that they play the album in vinyls, he had to get a new record player.

Claudia took the cart after he placed the record player in the shopping cart. She still felt awkward shopping for pads in front of him. They agreed to meet in the alcohol aisle after she hopefully found some pads. Tampons weren't an option. Pandemic or not, the only thing she was having inside of her was Calum.

“They may not have toilet paper but least they have White Claws.” Calum told Claudia as two boxes, one of only black cherry flavor and the other variety pack because Claudia only drank tangerine flavor.

"I managed to get one thing of pads, so it's something." She told him, covering the pads with the other groceries. "I'm just lucky my period ended last week. I have a month to worry about getting more. You have dog food right? Because there's none in the aisles."

"Yeah, bought some when we got back from Medelyn's baby shower, water and toilet paper too." He nodded his head over to the shopping cart. "Is that everything? And what your parents needed too?"

Claudia looked over their shopping cart. It wasn't much but it was enough since the stores set limits on how much to buy because of the lack of ability to restock.

"I think we're good. If we need something we can drive back and steal from Ashton's garden." she joked.

While they waited in line, Claudia thought about how quick her life changed in less than two weeks. Her landlord practically kicked her, Dulce and Sara out and wanted them out by the time spring break started because of mandatory stay at home orders. She was lucky though. Calum took her in and for the meantime she was going to live with him. Though just last week Diego told her to come home. It took her a lot of convincing, but Calum ended up going with her too.

"Your total is $132.76." the cashier told them.

Claudia was barely pulling out her card as Calum scanned his phone in front of the pin pad. He thanked them and nodded Claudia to keep up.

"We agreed that I was going to pay groceries since you don't let me pay for anything else." She told him as he put the groceries in his car.

"I didn't agree to shit." He furrowed an eyebrow.

"Yuh-huh you nodded and waved me off."

He stayed silent, trying to remember if he did. Then it hit him. "Was it when we ordered Mikko's? Because I thought you meant you were paying for that."

"Of course you did, your cheap ass doesn't pay for sushi." she mumbled to herself. "Well I'm paying for groceries from now on."

"I don't like it when you spend money for us when I can pay for them. Especially now that we're both basically jobless. You need that money for school, Claudia." Calum said as they pulled up to the In-N-Out drive thru across the street from Target.

"And I don't like you paying for things that I can afford too." She argued back, but Calum ignored her since he was ordering their lunch.

He had his card ready to pay so there was no way that he was going to let her pay. When he reached the window the computer crashed and they were only accepting cash. Claudia pulled out a twenty, knowing that Calum never carries cash on him unless they're outside of California. He begrudgingly took it and gave it to the cashier.

***

Claudia considered herself a patient person. An elderly person taking their time in front of the ATM, no problem. Her getting cut in line at Starbucks because she was answering a text from Calum and not paying attention to the line, not an issue. Where she did lose her patience was when she would get stuck in traffic.

“The San Ysidro border is faster than this.” Claudia groaned, dropping in her seat after poking her head out of the sun roof.

“Well we would have avoided traffic if someone didn’t need to go back our place to get a fucking coloring book.” Calum muttered under his breath.

He had enough of her complaining. Ever since he got on the I5, that’s all she’s been doing. They’ve been stuck for over four hours and it was just her mumbling over and over how she would rather be waiting to cross the border than be stuck in the freeway. Even Claudia during her period was less irritable than this. Before she could get a word in, he turned up the volume on the true crime podcast they were listening to.

Ironically it was about a couple where the girlfriend murdered her boyfriend and disposed of his body by a lake in the very same freeway they were on.

Calum glanced over to Claudia. She was curled up, leaning against the window playing tetris on her phone. He rotated his neck and hands in hopes that he loosened up, but nothing worked. He knew he shouldn't have said that to her. It wasn't her fault that there was traffic.

"Cal…" Claudia said quietly, reaching down to lower the volume.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be getting all irritated when I was the one who suggested that you take me back to your house. Because of me we're stuck in traffic and—"

"Claudia, you have nothing to apologize for. You're not the one who caused the traffic. If someone should be apologizing, it should be me. I'm just stressed out because of the album dropping tonight and I'm taking my nerves out on you. So I'm sorry for being a fucking cunt."

"Apology accepted." she giggled.

Claudia leaned over the center console and kissed his cheek. Slowly, she descended down to his neck And sucked under his jaw, making him jerk the car.

"Ashton needs me alive for at least tonight." Calum said, gently prying her off of him. He adjusted his shorts and looked toward the road.

Not even five minutes later, Claudia was toying with a loose string on Calum's shorts. Her hand occasionally bumped into his crotch. Wordlessly she unbuckled her seatbelt and tried reaching for her purse in the backseat. It gave Calum a great view of the nude lace panties she wore.

Before he tried anything, she sat back down and pulled out some nail clippers. Claudia bent over the center console once more and clipped the string with them. She rubbed his thigh and laid her head in the console. Her fingertips deftly smoothed down his leg hairs.

"What are your thoughts on road head?" Claudia asked. She tiptoed her fingers up his thigh, slowly inching to semi hard on.

"I don't know, never thought about it." He answered her, swallowing hard with his gaze glued on the road.

"Really? Like you never thought of me choking on your dick while you're driving?" She pushed herself up from the console and sat criss-cross applesauce. "I have. The thought of you guiding my mouth over your dick surrounded by other cars, clueless to what we're doing. All I have to say is thank fuck for your tinted windows."

He watched from the corner of his eye. She had pulled down her dress, exposing her breasts and her panties were on the dash. One of her hands disappeared under her dress while the other was tweaking her nipples. She whimpered Calum's name loudly as her fingers sped up.

Calum pulled her hand away and licked her fingers cleaned. He slipped his and continued where she left off. With one hand on the steering wheel he brought her to her orgasm. Her hips chased his fingers as he stopped thrusting them in her and only rubbed her clit. Once her high relaxed, he slipped his fingers out of her and licked them.

He pumped a quarter size amount of hand sanitizer in his hand, cleaning his hands, and kept driving.

He looked over to Claudia and smirked. "Thank fuck for tinted windows, huh Claudia."

***

Claudia was bundled up in her room so she wouldn’t disrupt Calum during the livestream. She went downstairs to get her water and a snack after hearing 'Not in the Same Way.' She bumped into Calum in the kitchen, who was getting another White Claw.

"Hey," she said kissing his cheek.

"Miss you." Calum said in between kisses.

Before she said anything, Michael's yelling that he was a pickle echoed through the kitchen. Calum gave her a look and went back to the living room. Duke tried getting on the couch but failed.

"I leave for a fucking second and you're a fucking pickle." Calum said, trying his best not to laugh.

He picked up Duke and sat him in his lap. Panchito wandered over and hopped on the couch and used Duke's bed as a pillow.

"Uh… this is Panchito. He's the Santos' family dog." Calum said introducing the blue heeler puppy to the 40 thousand people watching. "He's about four months old and just sleeps all day with Duke."

The livestream went on until Michael's phone died and Calum continued with Luke. But just before Michael signed off, he thanked Claudia for making the CALM cakes and cookies. Calum struggled a bit to get Luke connected, but he managed once Claudia hopped in and showed him how. He gave her a sheepish thank you and watched her curl up on the opposite end of the couch.

At some point during Calum and Luke's segment, they strayed off their music and discussed cake flavors. When Claudia heard Luke say that he's not a big fan of red velvet cake, she bit back her comment about Luke eating a few slices of red velvet cake at Calum's birthday party the year before. If Claudia knew how to do one thing, that's bake a good red velvet cake.

By the time Calum finished the livestream and his phone call with Luke, Claudia had fallen asleep. He signaled the dogs to follow him outside so they can do their nightly business before going to bed. He guided them back to their respective kennels and secured the doors, so they couldn't escape to go ruin Soni's plants.

"Claudia," Calum said softly. He gently nudged her awake. "Let's go upstairs."

"Fuck, did I fall asleep?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Yeah, surprisingly since you took about four naps today." he teased her.

"Oh shush." she grumbled, folding the blanket she covered herself with.

They quietly went to the guest room where Calum was sleeping to watch a movie. Not even fifteen minutes into the movie, Claudia and Calum were devouring each other. Her hand lazily stroked his length through his sweats as Calum's hands ran over her thighs and ass.

"We should get on the floor, the bed squeaks too much." Claudia said when pulled away from Calum to take off her hoodie.

She got off from the bed and grabbed a duvet from the closet and laid it on the floor. She grabbed some of the decorative pillows and arranged them neatly so they could lay on them. Calum followed suit and shedded off his sweater and sweatpants. He laid back on the duvet and took in Claudia. She sat in his lap in nothing but a light grey bralette and matching panties she got at Aerie. It wasn't an overall sexy set, but it still sent him spiralling.

She leaned down and captured Calum's lips with hers. He let out an incoherent grumble as Claudia rocked her hips against his cock. He slowly inched his hands up her thighs, feeling his way around until he found her ass. He roughly gripped her ass and began guiding her along his clothed cock.

“Can you fucking wait?” Claudia giggled, pulling away from his lips. She sat back up on his lap and took off her bralette. “I wanna take care of you.”

“I don’t want you to.” He said.

“You better remember that the next time you get a stomach ache for eating too many chilaquiles.”

Claudia drummed his chest and got up from the floor. She reached for Calum’s hoodie and tied her hair in a bun.

“Where are you going?” Calum asked her confused.

“You don’t want my help, so I don’t see what I’m doing here.” She shrugged.

She grabbed her phone from the nightstand and gave him a small salute before leaving his room. She waited outside, knowing he was going to go after her. A few seconds later he opened the door and pulled her inside.

“I’m kidding, I need you.” Calum said peppering kisses all over her face.

“That’s what I thought.” She said, triumphantly. She got down on her knees and tugged down Calum’s sweats. She licked her lips and looked up at him. “Now let me show you how proud I am of your album.”

“What would you rank it?”

“Definitely one of your top four.”

Taglist: @f-mu @another-lonely-heart​ @sunshinebabycal-deactivated2021​   @calumscalm​ @karajaynetoday​ @cherryxwildflower​ @myloverboyash​  @idontneedanyone​ @findingliam-o​ @5-secondsofcolor​ @spicylftv​ @sexgodashton​ @fckingpernico​ @2fangirl4u​ @calpops

[rebelcap]

We are not just friends — Part 19

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she’s brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy.

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally.

Series masterlist

Sofía had definitely closed up, she became a recluse in her own apartment and the only thing she did was go to work and back. She felt mostly okay, she wasn't crying her eyes out or seeing a random photo of Chris and crying. 

She was hurt, deeply hurt but all she did was avoid thinking about him. This wasn't like the first time they broke up, this felt different. Like, this was it.

She loses one of her most precious friends and gains another failed relationship, another ex that probably will end up resenting her because they couldn't reach her and when she opens up she gets shot down. 

After Chris…

Sofia was sure that she was meant to be alone and she was mostly okay with it.

On the other hand, Christopher was devastated—he honestly thought she was the one, he felt it in his gut, his heart, his whole being made him feel that she was the one. She just kept pushing him away in all the ways that she could find and he took it, until he couldn't anymore and that alone made him feel like he was failing her, he didn't know how to help her and she won't let him. 

They were so far away from each other—it was exhausting and the fact that he had just started talking with Jenny again made him feel insecure about his relationship. 

But he love her with all his fucking heart that it hurt his whole body knowing that she might ever be able to love him back the way he does. 

"I miss him," Sofia said, putting her eyeliner on. She was going out as Amanda was very pregnant to even move. 

"He does too." She said rubbing her belly. "It's been, how much time now?," 

"Four months , so he's dating Jenny. That's what I heard…" Sofia tried not to get emotional about it but… Fuck. 

"Yeah, Luke told me about it… but it's  going anywhere and he knows. Not sure about her though." 

"He always gets back with all his exes. Got us on rotation, fucking idiot. He wants to commit but he can't actually commit with anyone. Then in the one with commitment issues," Sofia shook her head and let out a groan. "I love him, I swear to you I love him, he's a good friend but he's a terrible boyfriend."

"Right back at you," Amanda laughed and Sofia had to, because she was absolutely right about her too. 

"I don't go back with all my exes, though" 

"Mostly don't, Chris it's the exception." 

"Because I thought it was going to be okay for once." She made a face and began putting the make up back on her little make up bag. "I can't believe he's back with Jenny, she's funny and intelligent and great—but God, I don't fucking like her." Sofia said, throwing the make-up bag on her bag and pout. "I don't want to go out now. More because I know he's here in Boston and it's not leaving until next year and I'm seeing his brother today."

"You don't wanna run into him?," 

"Of course I wanna run into him, I miss him so much but I'm totally not over him yet." Sofia explained sitting on the toilet seat looking at Amanda that was leaning in the door frame. "I don't know if I'm ever going to be over Chris."

"I'm sad now, you're make me feel sad and my boy too—

"I'm sorry—

"Don't be, I'm feeling sad because I can't go out with you and drag Chris's name all over Boston even though he's great but he left you."

Sofia smiled looking down and felt Amanda's hand running through her hair and she sighed deeply. 

-

Sofía was vibing or at least trying, the place was comfy and she knew almost all the people that were there—witch where all of fucking Christopher closest friends and some random girls that the guys bring from somewhere.

Apparently he wasn't coming, which Sofia didn't know if she was actually relieved or not. 

"Jesus fucking christ." She murmured to herself tried of her own fucking mind noise. She stood up and walked to the little bar area and started pouring a drink, straight whiskey and downed it all and poured herself a second and then a third walking away with the drink on her hand.

He saw her first, saw her leaning on a wall, talking with some dude —younger than her, brunette and with a fucking man bun, he was built, lean and tall. She laughed, at whatever fucking thing he said she laughed and looked at him with the little fucking straw on her lips. Oh, boy he was mad. 

Chris rubbed his face and went about to hang up with his friends and mingle a little bit. But he couldn't stop looking at their direction every fucking second. 

"They sure look cozy," Luke said and Chris looked at him. "Did you talk to her yet?" 

"I can't talk to her, man." Chris muttered and downed the warm beer on his hand and his friend handed him another. "What I'm supposed to say?, hey, long time remember when I dump you because I'm a fucking imbecile and i cant fucking wait." He said dropping sarcasm on every word. 

"That's a good opening," Luke laughed and Chris just stared at him, murdering eyes directed at his very own best friend. 

"Who the fuck is that?" he asked referring to the guy she was talking with. 

"A friend of Ryan's cousin." 

Chris made a face and rolled his eyes. "The fuck he doing here?" 

"It's Ryan's house, dude," Luke said and was a little amazed at Chris, he definitely hasn't seen him like this in a really long long time. "Man. .." Luke said, kind of amazed. "You're still head over heels in love with her, don't you?" 

"I wonder what gave it away," Chris said, drinking his beer and rubbing his face. "imma talk to her,"

"Ah—don't think it's-uh," Luke was looking at them and saw them share a kiss, it was quick and he kinda went for it. 

"What?," Chris said turning around and saw them just breaking the kiss and that's the moment Sofia saw him. 

And her stomach dropped, her whole ass body dropped—

"Oh, woow. Are you okay?," Alex, asked her when her knees buckled and he caught her. 

"Ah, yeah, yes. Just," She smiled at him and looked at her empty glass. "Little drunk, imma get more—" Sofia made an attempt to leave but Alex, bless his fucking kind heart, offered her to get her those drinks and something to eat. 

As soon he leaves that was a cue to Chris, who literally strutted to the wall she was leaning and Slfia just… started.

"Hi," He said, hands on his pockets as Sofia kept looking at him. "How-how are you?" 

Sofoa kept quiet and simply walked away from him, ahe couldn't possibly do the whole small talk bullshit they alwaus did and it emeded up al fucking badly. Chris looked at her go and he was the one that stormed after her. 

"Sofia, come on," Chris said and walked besides her. "Sof, it's going to be like this?" 

"I can't talk with you Chris, like…" She sighed and sat down on a bench, they weren't completely away from the people and there were some girls sitting on a couch messing around with their phones and minding their business.

"Why not?," He asked, looking at her. He just wanted to reach out and hug her, he missed her. 

Sofía finally looked up at him and asked him, "How's things with Jenny?," Chris looked away and rubbed his beard and stayed quiet at her question for a moment. 

"We're not together anymore," He said and Sofia made a face and sigh. "What about you?" 

"What about me?" 

"Are you seeing someone?" He asked looking at the bar where the dude was talking with Ryan, probably giving him the talk. 

"Look, Sofia is off limits."

"What?, why? She told me she's single." Alex asked and looked back at where she was supposed to be and found Chris looking back at him with that death stare he did when he was annoyed. 

"Yes, she is. But it's also Chris ex and they still didn't figure it out and he's my friend, so kid. Off limits," 

"Do you care,?" She asked, sassy. 

"If I didn't I wouldn't be asking, wouldn't I?," He asked right back at her, also sassy. 

"Last time I tried that, it didn't go well," Sofia said, rolling her eyes at him. "And the one before that, worse." She said at their obvious relationship and Chris just grunted. But couldn't blame her, it was a mess… 

"Yeah," He murmured and dug into his pockets and fished out a packet of cigarettes. "want one?" He offered her and she took it. 

"Thanks, we should smoke outside though." Sofia said walking out to the backyard where the other guys were doing the grilling. 

They waved at them but kept their distance, not Scott though because it was Scott. 

"So…" He said walking up to them and putting a hand on each shoulder. "You two are actually talking," 

"Not really," Sofia rolled her eyes and Chris grunted again. 

"Sof," He said, putting those little blue eyes to work on him and it worked, of course it will work. 

"Okay, okay…" She agreed and lit up the cigarette giving Chris a look. Thinking that the moment she found him unattractive was when she stopped looking at men all together and dedicated herself to pussy forever. 

He was so fucking attractive, jesus fuck. 

"Either way, is there a point here?," She asked looking at both of them. "We're good, I guess," She shrugged. 

"Are we really good?," Chris asked. 

"I don't know, you left me." Sofia took a drag and Scott made a face.

"And that's my cue to leave, I love you both." He said and Sofia laughed. 

"And I do too." She wink at him and Chris was staring at her, waiting for Scott to leave. 

"I shouldn't have done that—

"Chris, don't." She waves a hand at him. "You seriously need a new woman on your life, this thing about getting back with all your exes ia getting old as fuck."

"Ouch," He said and actually smile and so did she. "I do miss you, you know that." 

"I miss you too, come on. We were really good friends for a moment there," 

"Yeah," He smiled and bit his bottom lip, shaking his head. "We fucked up, don't we?" 

"Yeah, and I told you so."

"You did. Guess I didn't listen," 

"You never listen, stubborn Gemini man." She said punching him on the arm. 

"Yeah, you're right but I don't regret it though."

"Me neither," She smiled and sigh, just thinking for a moment. "So, there's a wedding coming?" 

"You mean ours?," He joked and Sofia barked a laugh. 

"I mean our better halves, idiot. Besides, we will be divorced in the first four months."

"What?, come on I gave us at least… a year," Chris saif and Sofia made a face, disagreeing. 

"Six months, tops." She said and put her hand on his month. "The thought of me being a wife, ew."

Chris laughed out loud. "You look pretty in white," 

"I look pretty in everything because I'm pretty," She rolled her eyes with a smile. "But, jokes aside. Do you see yourself married?" 

"I like the idea of marriage but… Honestly, I don't know."

"I preferred to have a kid before marriage, it's just a fucking paper in the end. You can divorce, I think I'll know when I have a kid, if I have a kid."

"We never had this talk before," Chris said and pointed at a little bench for them to sit. "About us," 

"Did you think about it?" Sofia asked as she sat down beside him. Chris was holding his beer between his legs and looking forward. 

"Yeah, I mean…" He looked at her. "I have never been this in love with someone like I am with you, so yeah. I did, a couple of times actually."

Sofia was dumbfounded at what he said, and she did toyed with the idea a couple of times… 

"I almost propose to you, actually…" He laughed and Sofias head snapped so hard to look at him. "After you met my mom, I bought that ring you liked. I thought that maybe someday…" He shrugged and Sofia's eyes watered up and just stared forward. 

"Chris, I…" She whispered and he looked at her. 

"What's wrong?," He asked, frowning. 

"What's wrong!?," She said, wiping her tears. "Dude, are you hearing what you are saying to me?."

Chris realized it at that moment, what he did. Bomb after bomb he just dropped on her. 

"Sorry, I got carried away." He muttered slouching on the bench and drank the rest of his beer. 

"You'll find someone, Chris…" Sofia said in a small voice. 

"Already found her," He muttered and stood up and walked away. 

[writingforyourpleasure]

WE'RE NOT BEST FRIENDS.

Relationship : Remington Leith x reader

A/N : Sorry I know, not what you expected. It's be complicated lately and I wanted something shorter then "ON THE ROAD AGAIN" and on someone else. But next will be either a new chapter of OTRA or a short fix either on Gerard Way or Frank iero.

Warnings : None 

You were just in front of your best friend’s door trying to calm your nerves. Before you could even process it the front door opened and a smiling Emerson was facing you warping you quickly in a warm hug. This bastard truly gave the best hugs, maybe it was the reason why you hang out more with him. It was a sunny afternoon and Emerson was dressed very fashionable as always, he always stood out from the other kids even before finding his own style. You entered and soon enough his mother Stephanie was hugging you lovingly. Staphanie and your mom were best friends since college and that how you meet the boys, you were six month older than Emerson, you grew up with him basically. First off when you were four until Sebastian got to middle school you and the boys were having sleepovers at least 3 times per weeks and were inseparable, then when Sebastian did go to middle school he started to pass more time by himself and his new friends since he thought playing with you three was not of his age anymore. But you, Emerson and Remington didn’t mind all that much since you still got each other to play with, some things were more difficult though, since you were now a trio there was some kind of imbalance inside your group and disputes tend to happen more than before but nothing alarming since it was always for stupids reasons and when Remington got through adolescence the arguments got bigger and next thing you knew it was just you and Emerson. But everyone was still close to each other It’s just that you had now a certain routine with Emerson and got comfortable in it. You also didn’t want to bother the guys by asking if they wanted to join. Also Emerson seemed happy to have you for himself and have a little time with someone else then his brothers, sort of. Emerson had friends beside you of course but you didn’t talk much to those, they were nice but you weren’t one to party, you considerably preferred to stay at home watching a movie, TV show or play video games or some else worthless.

« Well A/N, the boys must say their hello wait I’m gonna call them downstairs. » Said Emerson’s mom, it was something she always said and did when you were there.

« Really there’s no need. I’m sure they’re occupied and busy, you know. I don’t wish to disturb anyone Stephanie as sweet as it is. »

« You’re way to polite hon’, don’t worry I think they can move their legs once in a while. BOYS COME SAY HELLO A/N’S HERE ! »

Emerson was puffing behind his mom’s back, you on the other side just stood there awkwardly. While you heard stumping upstairs, you took in the delicate features of Emerson.

He had a dark navy blue beret which was quite rare and a white shirt open widely on the collarbone and to his chest it was a lightly transparent, he wore around his neck maybe dozens of necklaces which you bought him for the most part and a simple black skinny Jean. You often wished you had the same wardrobe than him.

The stumping was now very loud and close which meant the guys were in the staircase so you turned your head around just in time to see Seb coming to you and putting your head in his arm and ruffling your hair to annoy you. Well for sur now you’ll be walking around for all evening with wild hair but hey what’s new ?

« Let the poor girl be would you, Sebastian ? »

« Well she’s used to being annoyed since she comes here to see Em, anyway. » Said Seb with a dickhead grin splattered on his face.

« Well fuck you, I happen to be very interesting mind you ! »

Em wasn’t one for a reading. You sighed rolling your eyes to the sky, done with thoses two, while their mom was repremending them, mostly Em since he swore.

« If she ever gets bored it’ll be by you two arguing dummies. » Said Remington arriving at the bottom of the stairs. His eyes then falled on you and a huge smile stretched itself on his lips, soon enough he had you in his arms.

« God Y/N what have you done of my boys ? »

Rem was still hugging you, yeah he tend to do that quite a lot and you never got used to it since it was a little bit awkward with everyone around you. The first hundreds of times Seb always teased him, while Remington was complaining. But you guessed that it had became like a ritual now.

« Well I wouldn’t pride myself in this since I honestly don’t think they need me around to act like that. » You joked once Remington decided to let go.

« Guess will never know since they won’t without you in our house for less than one week. » Laughed Stefanie.

« More like , Emerson, won’t let her be for less week. » Said Remington. Making his mother smile and Sebastian laugh.

« Whatever, c’mon Y/N. »Emerson took you by the end to go upstairs to his room.

You popped down on his bed looking at the fluorescent pink stickers up his ceiling. While he unplugged his Drum speaker.

« How was rehearsal ?

« It was okay we didn’t do much to be honest. »

« But didn’t you told me that you’d finished the album already ? »

« Well we just need one more song and then it’ll be finished. »

« Well don’t worry about it I’m sure it’ll be a great one. » You said cuddling him from behind making him fall into the bed with you.

« Putting pressure on me much ? »

The two of you laughed at that still cuddling on the bed.

« But I’ve got to say I’m not hyped not to hang out with you guys once you’ll go on tour. » You’re best friend held you more strongly than before at your words. Silence filled the room.

« Maybe you could come and visit us ? » Asked Emerson in a small voice.

« Could I ?! » You said looking up at your friend.

« I mean I don’t see why not ? »

You got off the bed starting to dance excitedly and fist bumping happily into the air while Emerson was laughing from the bed.

« But…. Wait a minute ? Isn’t it girlfriends that are allowed to visit you ? » You asked stopping right away fearing it wasn’t gonna happen.

« Well usually, yes it is, but I think I can play it off. Plus if you do think about it we already are an actual old married couple. » You all laughed your ass off at this knowing very well how you to were looking while argumenting.

Not long after that Emerson had to go to the toilets and you took advantage of it to go ask Stefanie if she needed help with dinner. Emerson find It’s way into the kitchen not long after that.

That how you found yourselves peeling potatoes while joking around.

Hearing you laughing Remington join you guys down hoping up the counter, not helping whatsoever.

« You guys are so loud I can’t even hear myself think anymore. »He said with a devilish grin.

« Silly you of course you can’t Rem ! You never thought about something with that beautiful brains of yours, since you don’t have one ! » He glanced at me with a deathly look while Emerson was coughing his laugh away.

« But you’re saying nonetheless that I’m beautiful right ? » Emerson rolled his eyes while Remington winked at you.

« Well looks gotta make up for that stupidity of yours I guess. «

« But you admit that I’m beautiful ? »

« God Remington I never knew you’d suffered from so much lack of love during you’re childhood hon. »You said looking at your potato with a wide grin, with Emerson discretely laughing in front of you still peeling off the skin of his potato.

« But that does make me Belle and you the beast. So I win. »

« Well if you want to lie to yourself love go on, I won’t stop you, but remember that I ‘ll be Beast who’s got a big brain. »

Emerson made a face of disgust at the nickname. You got up and went near the counter, on which was seated Remington, to wash your peeled potatoes.

« Yeah But I’ll be Belle who’s got a big - »

« REMINGTON !!! »Yelled Stephanie making Emerson explode in laughter and pride was taking over your features.

« Since you seem to be quite a talker today go peel the rest of the potatoes of your brother, while you Emerson’ll put on the table in the dinning room please. »

« What does this have to do with peeling potatoes anyway ? » Whined Remington still going over his brother ‘s place getting to work.

« Young man don’t dig yourself deeper, I’m warning you. Now less talking and more peeling. »

You hide your laughing while you returned to the table where was Remington to cut the vegetables.

He glance you a glance that you supposed was meant to be scary but didn’t work out.

« I’m hate to say but Belle wouldn’t be the scariest psychopath for an horror franchise. »

« Wish I could dig YOU deeper. » He muttered between his theets.

« And I wish I could dig you. » you Whispered to yourself, blushing instantly realizing what you said and looking over to meet a blushing Remington.

Safe to say you cutted the rest of your vegetables are in silence as Remington did the same with the peeling.

Soon enough you all were dinning around the table that put on Emerson. You were sitting by Emerson side on his right, while Remington was in front of you and on his right was Seb asking if he could go to a party tonight at his mother who was seated in the end of the table. He excitedly thanked his mom when she agreed.

« By the way could Y/N come visit us on tour ? » Interrupted Em looking at his two older brothers.

A silence took place during several seconds as both of Seb and Rem eyebrows shoot to the roof looking really surprised, you didn’t really understood why before Seb started talking with a huge smile.

« FINALLY ! You guys I was starting to think it’ll never happen you know ? »

What ?

You were really confused right now, was he still talking about you visiting ?

If it was the case why did Remington seemed so hurt ? And even if he was talking about something else why would Rem be hurt anyway ?

« Huh well It’s only if you guys wants me to be there of course ? » Even to yourself you sounded pretty unsure.

« When did that happened anyway ? » Asked Remington pretty coldly.

« What ? » You ask really confused now.

« When what happened ? » asked Emerson apparently as confused as you were.

« Ho c’mon you guys ! Don’t be shy ! I always knew it’ll happen it really was about time. »

What. The. Hell

« Huh well Emerson asked me when we were up in his room a few hours earlier ? » You responded truly still very unsure about this, but figuring they were asking about when did Em bringed up the idea ?

« Ho so It’s really recent still ? » Said Seb.

« Huh well that’s why were asking if it’ll be cool with you two ? » Answered Em fidgeting at the end of his shirt.

« Unless you’re not comfortable with it Rem ? » Everyone’s eyes landed on him waiting for his answer.

« Why would you hit on me if you’re with my little brother exactly ? »

A huge silence landed across the table and your eyes almost blew out of your skull.

« What ? »You asked in a small voice a little embarrassed of him telling everyone what happened earlier.

« If he trust you enough to be his girlfriend don’t try to hit on his fucking brother just a few hours after it ! » He said getting up in one second before just hurriedly walking up the stairs at a fast pace. While you just stood there your mouth hanging.

What did just happened and… wait were they thinking you and Emerson were a couple ? HO they were, well shit.

« Huh… just to put it out there me and y/N are Friends, nothing more. »Said Emerson looking at his mom and older brother.

But He did not looked at you.

« Ho well… shit. Sorry about that Y/N It’s me who directly started to think you two were together, I mean I though so because the people that usually visit us are our girlfriends or boyfriends. I see that I was wrong now, I’m really sorry. »

« It’s okay Seb we don’t mind. » You said sadly and deeply humiliated, you were guilt tripping for something you didn’t do. How sick was that ?

You exited the table without a word to go upstairs, walking til you were facing Rem’s door. You were hesitant, you needed to tell him but maybe It’s more up to Emerson after all ? And why would he listens to you of all people you must be the one he wished could go away probably now.

You took a deep breath before knocking on the wood with precaution.

«What ? » Said a weak voice on the other end of the door. Ho no was he crying ? What the fuck did you put yourself into ?

« Can I come in ? »

« Go away. Maybe you still got your chance with Sebastian ? »

Ouch.

« Mister Remington you may not slut shaming me. » You responded trying to be funny but as the silence took place between you you figured it wasn’t.

« Look, Rem, I think it is all just a misunderstanding, please let me in so we can talk ? »

You waited two long minutes fixing the wood of his door before this one moved to revel a red eyes looking Rem, the sight really guilt tripping you.

« How could you do that ? To your childhood best friend ? »

All of it was giving you an headache.

« Are we still talking about Em ? Or is it about you ? » You asked raising an eyebrow.

« forget about it. » He said moving to re-entering the room and closing the door, but you stopped him taking his left arm in your hand.

« Wait. I really do think It’s just a big misunderstanding, I am NOT em’s girlfriend. » You said the fastest you could.

The big frown on Remington’s face was wash over by a surprised look.

« But you guys said- »,

« we didn’t say anything because you didn’t even let us say more than 1 word. Sebastian assumed and I guess you then assumed that we were. But you’re both wrong. »

Remington’s brain seemed to be runned a mile per minute.

« But Emerson was talking about you visiting on tour.... »

« Yeah as friends dumbass, I ‘m not obligated to fuck someone on it to be on it am I ? »

Your arms crossed on your chest you waited in front of the tall man.

« I-I-I am so very sor-rr-ry…. I… I mean if you want to scream at me you’ve got every right to do so… » he said with a sorrowful expression.

« Don’t worry if I’ll ever feel like screaming at you, I won’t bother asking your permission love. In all seriousness now, maybe just go apologize to Emerson later okay ? »

« Ho fuck ! Everyone heard me right ? Ho what have I done It’s embarrassing as fuck. »

« Yeah from the looks on their faces I’m pretty convinced that they all heard you pretty well. »

«…. That means that I’ve just told everyone that you hit on me when you actually did it as a joke and for no reasons… » Blood was leaving his face at a fast spead and he was becoming more livid by the second.

«Yeah you did. But if that can make you feel better I didn’t do it as a joke. But please next time wait til we do take it to your room to tell everyone. Never guessed you as a kiss and tell but meh we learn something new every day ! »

« You didn’t… ? »

« No I wouldn’t hit on Rem big brother as a joke that’d be a lack of humor to do something so awkward. If I ever wanted to hit on one of you as a joke I’ll choose Em I’ve much more material on him anyway. »

« I….But last year at Seb’s birthday party when I finally muster up the courage to ask if I could kiss you, you said no… ? » Both of you were now a little closer to each other at the point where your chests were almost touching.

« Yeah well pardon me to have refused to kiss you when you were completely drunk AND in front of your two brothers looking at us. Poor souls They’ll still be on medication now if it happened. »

« But then why would you it on me now -»

« Can I kiss you ? » You asked to the tall bleached hair guy. He was blushing so much you were scared that the poor fool was about to explode.

« Why-hy no-ow ? » He asked lowering his voice looking at you expectingly.

« Because I feel like fucking my brother’s best friend. No more seriously I just… ‘I’ m not really talented for all of this but I really like you and I do have a crush on you since several months. Like each time you hug me It’s like I become numb and every problems since to find a solution to itself. »

Remington wrapped his hands, sweetly, around your neck, looking at you with tenderness.

Both of you closed the distance between your lips, it wasn’t sweet or hungry but just a little spark fading as soon as his tongue and lips left yours.

« Y/N… I-I have a crush on you since years but you never noticed me, Emerson always fought to be alone with you and to be the one closest to you. I… never told him because I really thinked you’ll never see me like you do with him. »

« You’ll never take the place of Em. He’s my best friend. But you can take the vacant place of boyfriend. But if you’re jealous of Emerson It’s not gonna do it for me babe. »

« What no ! I’m not…. I… ‘I swear just I wanted to let you know that I was struggling to find a way to get your attention. »

« You don’t need to, coz’ you already have it, you were just to blind to see. »

« ….Y/N.. I love you…. »

« I’m pretty sure that I ‘ll be able to say so in just a few weeks. » You kissed him one last time before going to Emerson’s room and getting in bed with your friend even if you wished to cuddle someone else tonight you didn’t want to seem impolite to your friend.

Emerson vaguely waked up from his sleep to whisper to you once you made yourself comfy between his arms.

« Did you tell him ? Did you guys made up ? »

« yes we did don’t you worry Em. » you said with a happy smile on your face, of course he didn’t meant it like you did but this discussion is left for tomorrow this time.

[80s-roger]

Not On My Watch (pt 8:finale)

Pairing: Dad!Roger x Mum!Reader

summary: you’re divorced with queen’s roger taylor due to constant cheating and irrational behaviour towards you. but u have one person in common: your daughter, Laura aka your favourite human on earth. Your marriage with Roger had its ups and downs but Laura was the happiness in it. Now that she’s 8 and starts to realise how your terms with roger are, you finally tell her that you’re seeing another man except her father and she took it really warmly. She seemed excited to meet the new man unlikely your ex husband who accidentally learns about it by Laura, the weekend you would leave her at his place: on weekends you had some cute getaways with R/N because the court decided that Laura could stay or visit her dad on weekends and stay with him for five days each Christmas and easter vacations. Roger now, fights to get Laura and you back. R/N isn't as it seems and Roger helps you to keep him away from you.

catch up: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

masterlist //dialogue prompts

taglist: @madeinheavxn @namelesslosers @stacymaytaylor @drwse @cherries-n-rocknroll

words: 3.505

warnings: FLUFF IM GONNA CRY

You were on your car, following Roger for about a quarter until the paps lost you. It was a crazy moment you don't want to relive again. As you parked outside the pub, he opened the door for you to walk in. Always a gentleman. You noticed his bandmates' figures from a corner and walked closer with Roger behind you.

"Oh hello Y/n!" Brian greeted you and made some space for you to sit.

"Hi Brian, Fred, John." You smiled at them and waited for Roger to bring an extra chair to sit next to you.

"We didn't expect you here, how are you, darling?" Freddie asked.

"I'm a little upset." You were straightforward, Roger was aware and he placed his hand on your thigh, trying to calm you down. Brian noticed his move and understood something was wrong.

"You want to talk about it?" Brian asked.

"The man she was seeing appeared at her work and embarrassed her to death. I was there at half of the scene and intervened." Roger started.

"Oh, fuck." Freddie gasped.

"I'm afraid he saw us last night." You turned to Roger, referring to him fucking you at his cabinet.

"Yeah, you're right. Well, at least he's staying at the police's cell tonight. He was acting irrationally in public. He caused trouble." Roger spoke to his bandmates too.

The waiter came to your place, took yours and Roger's order and left. "Y/n, where did you find this man? He's such a troublemaker!" Freddie said.

"It doesn't matter where I met him, he just won't accept the fact I want to get back with Rog." You admitted and felt your heart beating fast. Roger wrapped his arm around you, feeling extremely happy of your declaration.

"So, you also want to get back with him?" Freddie asked surprised.

"I'd give it one more chance..." you sighed and stared at Roger, wishing he'd be different this time.

"Wow, that's big news!" Freddie said.

"What are you going to do with R/N? He won't give up this easy." Roger asked.

"I have no idea. I'll come up with something." You sighed.

The beers arrived and so on, you spent these couple of hours with the Queen members, drinking and having fun. They always liked your company but most of them, Roger. He enjoyed watching you having fun with his bandmates. He liked seeing you laughing and joking around. Later, you drove off to your own apartment, knowing it's safe to walk in to get more clothes and personal stuff including your daughter's. You were about to move out soon and didn't want to tire Laura anymore with all these movings and rides. You had to talk with your landlord about moving out so you didn't waste time.

Time passed fast and you drove at Roger's place again, with your suitcase hanging on your hand. He saw you coming closer to his door and there he was, standing happy at your presence.

"Hi." He smiled and leaned in to kiss your lips. "Come on in." He made way for you to walk in and suddenly Laura's cheering voice echoed to your ears.

"Mummy!" She cajoled.

"Hello, my little baby!" You knelt down to kiss her. "How was your day? I missed you!"

"I got an A in maths!" She jumped showing her excitement.

"Wow, that's amazing sweetheart! Well done!" You praised your blonde little girl and kissed her again.

"Women of my life," Roger started and Laura and you turned your gazes to him. "I have an announcement to make," he cleared his throat trying to make it funny for Laura.

"What is it, dad?" She asked.

"Tonight we are going out, the three of us. Diner at nine, how's it?" He asked waiting to hear your affirm.

"That's great!" You said with a huge smile on your face.

"Wow, dad! Yes! I'm so happy! I'm just gonna rush to my room and finish my homework!" She was as excited as you and maybe a little more because she barely remembers Roger and you being lovebirds.

"Don't rush it, love, your answers might be wrong! I'll come and check you!" He joked and laughed. He then came closer to you. "You brought a suitcase?" He asked as he checked it.

"Yes, I talked with the landlord, he has no issue with me moving out. I can leave at any moment. Are you surely okay about it?" You asked him trying to hide any possible doubts turning around your heads.

"I'm more than sure about it. To get things straight, I was never okay with the divorce-" he started.

"Me neither, it was your behaviour towards me." You stopped him.

"Let me finish." He gestured his hands on you and let him speak. "I know, I was unfaithful and an asshole, but this time I do want to settle down with you.". His eyes spoke the truth to you and wanted to believe him. You were questioning again what if he becomes what he was like before? What if he cheats on you again?

"Okay." You nodded with your eyes on the floor and then you looked at him again. "This is the last chance. You know it didn't work back then." You whispered and he agreed with you. But now, he wants to fight to gain your trust back.

"What about the rest of your clothes and stuff back at the flat?" He asked.

"I called the furniture mover company. They are willing to move our stuff here on Friday." You answered.

"Oh the sooner the better. Can't wait to live with you again." He pulled you in arms, hugging you tight. "Oh," he pulled away for a second.

"What is it?" You asked confused.

"I didn't have the time to tell you how sexy you look on this tight shirt, did I?" He winked, trying to flirt with you.

"No, you didn't." You laughed at his compliment. "Guess it's your kink?" You asked.

"You are my kink." He winked and kissed you softly. "Now go to my bedroom. Tonight, I want you to wear that dress hanging on my closet." He bit his lip and that feeling again got you again. He always bought you dresses you never asked for. But you gotta admit, this man has taste. In everything.

"You didn't have to, Rog." You said with a soft smile on your lips.

"I chose it for you. I want you to wear it. It's a gift." He said back, trying to not hear any other discourage from you.

"Thank you..." your eyes sparkled and kissed him again before going upstairs to see it. He was spoiling you and he liked that.

Later-----

You dressed in the dress Roger bought you: a blue sapphire satin dress, with a smooth cut on your leg, and your torso. It was flattering your waist, your visible leg and your breasts. It fit you like it was made just for you. Roger knew you really well, he knew your body size and type. He could choose the ideal dress for you without worrying if it's not your colour or the fabric that could flatter you less. You couldn't stop looking yourself at the mirror, it was a dreamy dress, one of the best you've ever worn.

A gentle knock on the door awakened your daydreaming. "May I come in?" It was Roger who obviously wanted to get into his bedroom.

"Sure." You coughed after stepping back from the mirror.

"Holy shit." Roger gasped when he walked in the room. His eyes couldn't be taken away from you. "You are stunning." He came closer to you, checking the dress out. "It looks more beautiful on you than I thought." He smiled at you and twisted you around with his hand.

"You think so?" You asked with a giggle.

"I'm certain." He stared at you for a few seconds before returning back to reality. "So, I dressed Laura for tonight, she's ready. I just have to wear my suit and fix my hair a bit and we're leaving." He walked through his closet to grab one of his thousand ironed tuxedos.

You carefully sat on his desk's chair, crossing your legs and actually noticing you have no shoes to wear. You only had the heels you wear at work. They don't match your dress. "Uh, Roger?" You asked.

"Yes?" He replied while he was taking his clothes off to wear his black tuxedo.

"I, um, only have one pair of shoes here. You know, the heels I wore today." You stood up going closer to him, helping him with buttoning his suit after he wore the pair of trousers. He was carefully watching your movements and then your exposed torso, he was absorbed by your hands and then your pink lips.

"I have a surprise for you Cinderella." He joked around and grabbed his blue tie, ready to wear it around his neck.

"Again?" You looked surprised. "At least let me fix your tie." You tied the tiny fabric carefully as if it was made of porcelain. Moments such as, remind you of some award shows he occasionally took you with. It felt nice fixing each other's clothes and details. It was all so magical, even your thoughts travelled together.

"Y/n?" He asked.

"Mmm?" You absentmindedly returned.

"Remember when we went to the Brits nine years ago? I think it was the first time I asked you to attend an award show with me." He smiled.

"Yes, of course, I do. I was at my first trimester at the time, I was throwing up at the toilet." You laughed.

"You did?" He was shocked at your confession as if he doesn't remember.

"Don't you remember? I was leaving our table all the time." You reminded him.

"I guess I was too focused on winning the best single. I'm sorry in delay." He laughed and his hands found your waist, hugging you warmly.

"Apology accepted. But it didn't matter, I was so happy for you. You were winning the one award after the other, you impregnated me..." you giggled after remembering that night.

"It was planned though." He joked. And now that his tie is fixed, he wore his black suit jacket around and made you sit on the chair you were before. "You think I didn't think of your shoes, Cinderella?" His fingertips teased your leg, after grabbing a box from the drawer.

"Oh don't tell me!" You awed.

He opened the box and inside of it, there was a beautiful pair of black heels, special for a night out. He gently wore the pair on your feet and helped you stand up on your feet. They were really comfortable and easy-to-walk heels. "Thank you!" You kissed him.

"Your welcome." He approached the door and waited for you to go downstairs.

You walked down the stairs and Laura was taken aback by your total figure, she hasn't seen you glowing in happiness. "Wow mum, you're beautiful!" She gasped.

"Thank you! Shall we go?" You asked her and she came closer to you, grabbing your hand.

"Wait for me at my car outside, I'm coming," Roger stated and you did as he said.

-----------------

The car drive was silent, not awkward though. You could feel Roger feeling apprehensive about the diner. He was trying to change all this time. You just didn't let him, until the last two days when you saw him trying to reach you for real and R/N showed red flag signs. Laura knew nothing about him but she'd obviously prefer her father than him.

"Here we are..." Roger broke the long-lasting silence and reduced speed when the fancy restaurant was right opposite you. Flashing lights hurt your eyes when paps noticed Roger's car slowing speed. At least, the windows were non-transparent so Laura couldn't get too distracted.

"Baby, don't look at the flash, it's cameras everywhere." Roger turned to Laura to warn her about the paps. She is aware of having a dad celebrity but thankfully never talks about it to her classmates, let alone brag. "Let me park the car and we're getting out. I'll keep you on my arms until we get at the foyer." He drove a little closer to the parking before you were ready to get out. You haven't felt yourself be taken photos for a long time. It frustrated Roger and you but mostly him because he disliked being papped at his personal moments, let alone when his child is with him. Many were the times when Roger and Laura were papped whenever he was with her on weekends or vacations. "Y/N, cover your eyes as you walk to the entrance door." He advised and then you both opened the car's doors to walk inside. You started walking to get some paps with you so Laura and Roger could walk with ease to the restaurant.

"Y/N, are you getting back with Roger?" Paps started questioning you but you knew you had to stay silent. You never spoke to them. You let Roger do the negotiations. He's the public figure, not you. "What are your statements about today's event at the place you work?" Of course, they'd reported it.

You reached the entrance door and waited for Roger to come to you. He carried Laura on his arms and her face was buried on his neck, trying to not be seen by the cameras. He looked at you with the are you okay look and you nodded until the receptionist opened the glass door for you.

"Have you made a reservation, sir?" The receptionist asked checking the list.

"Yes, it's Taylor." He put Laura down and you all patiently waited.

"Nice, table for three, follow me." He smiled and followed him to the table the reservation was. Next to the window, great. Paps could see you now so you told Laura to sit behind the window so her face couldn't be seen.

"That was crazy out there." He sighed as you all sat down.

"Yes, I internally panicked. Laura are you okay?" You asked your kid when she drank some of the water, the waiter served her.

"Yes, I am." She assured with a smile.

"What will you drink sir?" The waiter turned to Roger.

"A bottle of Chardonnay, we'll need it." He laughed and checked on you.

"Right away, sir." He left and now all three of you started talking.

"So Laura what do you think of tonight's diner?" Roger asked her.

"I didn't expect that. I thought you weren't together anymore..." She declared. "Mum, didn't we expect R/N for diner tonight? What happened," she asked confused.

"Laura um.." You cleared your throat before starting to talk. "I talked with your dad and we thought we should get back together." You started. "How does that sound to you?" You hoped she would be positive about it.

"Really?" She asked and looked both at Roger and you. "Mum, dad, that's wonderful!" She gasped.

"You think so?" Roger asked.

"Yes! I was sad when you were arguing all this time. I just hope it won't be the same anymore. It's lovely when we are under the same roof, I feel we're a family but when you argue, I can't stand it..." She admitted and a wave of guilt took you over. She was witnessing your Homeric arguments all this time, neither said a word, nor burst out crying. She was silent and never complained regardless of how much she missed her dad.

"This time's, going to be alright. We discussed it with your mum and it feels right to be back again. Because hands-off, but we missed each other. That's a fact we can't argue over." Roger laughed at Laura and she was happy to hear it.

"So mum, we're leaving our home?" She asked.

"Yes, we're going to dad's." You smiled at her.

You drank and ate like a proper family. It was a worthy diner and definitely full of surprises. You had no idea. Roger excused himself and stood up from his chair and got down on his knees next to you. Laura lost it at the sight of her dad kneeling to you. Your mouth was wide opened at his body position. People around the restaurant were looking at you now. They probably knew who Roger was and they were all awed at the sight of the hot drummer of Queen getting on knees for you. "Roger, what are you doing?" You gasped with your hands on your mouth.

"Y/N..." He started and took out from his pocket a small red box. You were ready to tear. Laura came closer to you, she had to enjoy the scene. "You're the love of my life." He added and that sent you to heaven and back. "When we were apart, I couldn't find love." His eyes found yours. He was honest and that blue colour of his irises sent you shivers. "That divorce awakened my love for you; I was unfaithful, I know. I was dishonest, I know that too. What I didn't know was that I couldn't live without you. So..." He took a deep breath and revealed a platinum ring with three diamonds on heart shapes. It was beautiful but not as beautiful as Roger's statement. "Y/N, will you marry me again?" His eyes were glowing as his fingers carefully grabbed the ring and wore it around your fourth finger. You stared at him as if he was the most special thing in the world. You then looked at Laura who was crying from happiness.

"Yes, I'll marry you again." You tore as you accepted his proposal and now he let out a relieving smile. Roger stood on his feet again and picked you up, asking for a loving kiss. "I love you." You whispered in his ear, not letting go of his hug.

"I love you too." His hand hugged your entire body, your back was covered by his arms and hands. His eyes caught Laura's who was the happiest kid on earth. She has the chance to see her parents getting married. Again. "I promise I won't be the asshole I was." He confessed to your ear. People at the restaurant couldn't stop applauding and congratulating you two. It was a delirious moment.

3 MONTHS LATER

You and Roger got married two weeks after his proposal at the city's town hall with Freddie and John being witnesses. A little later, The Magic Tour started and your husband had the bright idea to take Laura and you on tour since she was done with school priorities due to summer break. You were hanging out with Queen members and the two other wives. It was a great experience, probably the greatest tour of the band. Laura was the happiest you've ever seen her. You all had some spare time to explore the cities, enjoy each other's company and so on. Needless to say that Roger and you had sex at the early dates of the tour and now you have your period delay for a couple of months. In this time, you vomited a lot and felt dizzy, so a pregnancy test was the answer to all your symptoms. And yes, you were pregnant again on Roger's kid. You felt extremely happy about it and now that you know about your pregnancy, you wanted to share it with him, with your husband.

You were at your hotel room, in Madrid, eating at the balcony some junk food you bought earlier. You heard Roger entering the room, probably alone because Laura was with the other Queen kids.

"Y/N?" He searched for your figure until you answered from out there. "Oh, there you are." He smiled and leaned closer to kiss you. "I thought you were at the pool."

"Well, yeah, I was hungry." You smiled and took another bite.

"Again?" He smirked because he was suspicious about your condition. He has noticed your irregular sleeping and eating schedules and definitely saw you feeling disgusted. "Is there something you want to tell me?" He asked and sat next to you.

"Like what?" You raised your brow, playing around

"Well, I don't know," he moved his shoulders in confusion. "Something personal?" He tried to check you out but you couldn't be seen behind the table you were sitting.

"Come with me." You stood up and caught his hand to follow you inside.

You removed your robe and stayed at your bikini, letting him notice anything different on you. He was way too focused at your belly, trying to notice the tiniest.

"I'm pregnant!" You announced with a huge smile on your face and Roger needed a few seconds to process it.

"P-pregnant?" He asked ready to explode from happiness. "Oh God, I'm gonna be a dad again?" He tore and ran to you hugging you and kissing you.

"Yes! It's been two months, already..." You tore with him and felt happier than ever.

-----1987-----

And somehow, Roger and you stayed together after getting married again. Nine months later, you'd give birth to another blonde baby girl and now that Roger focused on his solo projects, he had more spare time to spend it with his beloved family.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Sixty-Eight

A/N: Okay, firstly I cannot apologize enough for the delay. I'm sorry for not posting when I planned on, I have no idea how I feel about this chapter, it's all over the place and I've honestly thought of erasing it and starting back over but that'd take even longer and I don't want to make you guys wait any more. I'm sorry for falling through on my assurance I'd post by Friday.

Timeline in case anyone is wondering, this chapter starts around the 18th of September (flashback is last couple days in July) and ends at the end of September.

I hope you guys like it, perfectly understandable if y'all don't and I will be trying harder next time. Thank you🖤

P.S.--I haven't forgotten about the "D" Viv gets tattooed on her, it's being mentioned in the next chapter.

Words: 4.4K

Warning(s): Explicit language, violence, mentions of drug abuse, mentions of sexual abuse, insensitive implication of suicide.

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I'm taking another bite of eggs, before an issue of Playboy is plopped down in front of me, into my food. 

I was expecting the cover to hit stands sooner, rather than later. We went back on tour the first of September, and the issue wasn't out until September 16, a couple days after getting back on tour from a separate break that took place a week and a half after our first break at the end of July did.

I'm on the cover, naked, and I hesitantly run my eyes up Doc's body to his eyes, giving an uneasy smile, knowing I'm in trouble. 

I swallow my food and he glares at me. 

Within ten minutes, he's got all of us back into another meeting. 

"Playboy?!" He's pacing the floor, throwing his hands up. "Y-You…" he trails off, the vein popping out on his forehead. 

I look around and notice everybody--Ross, Fred, Tommy, Vince, Mick, Rich--has got a copy of it, flipping through, including Nikki, and I feel my face heat up, slowly sliding down in my seat. 

"...Playboy!" Doc gets out again, before he starts laughing. 

"Was a staff meeting really necessary for this?" I ask him. 

"I mean, it could be worse." Fred tries to take up for me as my question is ignored. 

"Yeah, she could've went behind our backs and shot a porno." Vince adds, glancing at me. "...or did you do that, too?" 

Apparently I don't deny that quick enough because Doc is looking at me with an even more severe look. 

"Did you?!" He asks. 

"No?!" I argue, starting to get pissed. "I posed for Playboy, what's the big deal?" 

Doc starts laughing again. 

"What's the big deal? What's the big deal? What's the bi--what's the big deal?!" He pulls at his hair. "I am about to have a heart attack. I am about to have a heart attack. You--" he lets out a loud yell of frustration and we all look at each other. "--Are you trying to kill me, Viv?! 'Cause I feel like you are!"

"From a photography perspective, they're quite beautiful photos." Ross says positively.

"Yes, I for one want to express my gratitude and admiration for Saint Viv's--well, Dirty Stripper Viv's--contribution to the livelihood of many a jerking offs." Vince states. "Also would like to note," he looks at a particular picture of me before adding, "I've only imagined her doing this position but now that it's here on paper, I'd like her to demonstrate--slowly, in detail--exactly how she twisted hersel--"

"--Dude, shut up!" Tommy snaps, his hands over his eyes, his head back, and Vince grins at me, making me roll my eyes. 

It kind of scares me how quiet Nikki is as he calmly thumbs through his. 

"Okay." Doc takes a deep breath. "When did this happen?" He asks me.

"I got an offer in the mail, and took them up on it, and when we were in Chicago I went by their studio." I explain. "I still don't know what the big deal is. I thought it was the idea for rockstars and Playboy models to be together." 

Doc looks at me with flared nostrils before flipping through his magazine.

"Whose is this?" He asks, turning the magazine around to show me, his finger on Duff's bass. 

I just look at him, not knowing what to say. 

"I know what every bass of Nikki's looks like and it's got too many personalized ticks on it for it to be a random prop they tossed at you." He adds. 

The room is quiet for a moment.

"It's Duff's." Nikki says and Doc raises his brows. 

"The fuck is that?" He questions me. 

"Guns N' Roses bassist." Nikki informs him, his tone neutral.

I'm afraid to look at him, knowing it's gonna break my heart. 

"The band that you've been in my ear about bringing on the tour?"

Nikki let's out a confirming sigh and Doc looks at me. 

"So this kid's gonna bring this bass to play on tour, and everybody's gonna recognize it when they flip through your little stunt here," he waves the magazine, "and it's all gonna come together and they're gonna realize a few days after Vanity allegedly dropped a bombshell about her and Nikki supposedly having an affair--which is said to be bullshit--his wife comes out humping another man's fuckin' bass." He tells me and I roll my eyes. "You roll your eyes all you want. Vanity fucking fried all of us, and then you decided to toss us into the fucking fire. Not that I expect anything different from a goddamn Sixx at this point. You both know how to make shit worse than it already is." 

"I highly doubt they'll notice, Doc." Tommy cuts in again. 

"You stay out of this." Doc snaps at him. 

Another beat of silence goes by.

"Nikki? Your thoughts? You're her fucking husband. You helped kickstart this snowball of shit that just keeps getting bigger and bigger. What's your fucking opinion on her doing this? Am I gonna have to worry about you bending another girl over on stage and going to town in retaliation or what?" Doc sarcastically throws out there. "I mean nothing will fucking surprise my anymore. I just need to know what I need to prepare to clean up next." 

My heart pounds as I look at Nikki, liner smudged, tired eyes, glancing at me as he lets out a defeated sigh. 

"She's a grown woman, Doc." He surprisingly says and I widen my eyes in shock, as everyone else looks worried that Nikki's not screaming at me for it right now. 

Not yet, at least.

"That's it?" Doc asks him, raising his brows. "She didn't say a word about it, didn't give a warning, a heads up, nothing, and she comes out like this and you have absolutely nothing to fucking say?" 

Nikki just shrugs. 

"She just does whatever the hell she wants to do. Doesn't matter how I'd feel before, why does it matter what I feel like, now? Like I said, she's grown. Whatever she wants to do, she can do." He finishes, standing up to leave. 

"Nikki, are you fucking me right now?!" Doc complains as Nikki heads to the door. "You flip your shit over tiny stuff but your own wife does this without even telling you about it and you just brush it off?!"

"Just because she calls me 'daddy' doesn't mean I can act like her fucking father, Doc." Nikki sternly says and my face heats up. "We're not even together so why the fuck would I care what she does or who she does it with?" 

His bark was "I don't give a fuck" and "she can do whatever she wants", but a couple months later his bite was "you aren't worth a fucking thing which is why you had to get naked in a magazine to get validation in the first place" then proceeded to bare his teeth down further into my heart by adding, "just another pussy to unload in and get on to the next attention-humping slut." 

The next thing I knew, Duff was knocking him to the ground and the two of them started ripping into each other like dogs.

Once the meeting is over, after another hour of going back and forth, feeling like I was going to vomit from impending guilt, I'm getting back to my room and making a beeline for the toilet. 

I take a deep breath once I'm done, wiping the few tears from my cheeks. 

I don't feel bad for posing…the entire meeting it took everything not to confess that me posing naked with Duff's bass should be the least of their worries, compared to what other activities  I've gotten up to with him the last time the band had a couple days off and we went back to L.A. 

The sound of my room phone ringing pulls me out of my head

“Hello?” I answer.

“H-Hey.” I hear Tansy’s voice on the other end and I perk up.

“Hey, Tans, how’re you feeling?” I ask her, nervously.

“Good, um…” She lets out a soft sigh. “...I relapsed.”

I close my eyes for a moment, exactly like I did last week, and the week before, and the week before, and so on.

After Sparkie did his damage, Tansy promised to swear the bastard off. But within two weeks of her incident, she was back with him, only because her babysitters--Slash and Steven--left her unattended and she ran off to find him.

They’d find her, threaten Sparkler, bring her back home and the second they turned around long enough, she was gone again. 

Nikki had ordered them that she wasn't supposed to be around Sparkie because he had "accidentally" taken it too far while they were messing around…

Skylar squeals as tickle at her stomach, shampoo sticking her blonde hair straight up while Sharise runs a wash cloth over Sky's back.

When she's done, she's wringing the water out of it. 

"Sky, we gotta wash the shampoo out of your hair." I tell her.

"Nuh." She protests, shaking her head. 

"Skylar, we gotta get the shampoo out so we can get conditioner in your hair and get the tangles out."

"Nuh." She states, looking at us like we're crazy. 

"Don't be a diva like daddy." Sharise tell her, raising her brows. 

"Da-da?" 

"Da-da's golfing." She replies.

Skylar looks between us. 

"Nuh." She argues. "Beebee." She points at me. 

Sharise looks at me and hands me the little plastic cup she uses to rinse Sky's hair. 

"I'm gonna grab a towel from the couch." Sharise tells me. "Let Veevee rinse your hair." 

Skylar's cooperative, letting me get the shampoo from her hair and letting me put conditioner in and rinsing it out. 

When we're done, Sharise is picking Skylar up from the bath and wrapping her in her towel. 

The phone starts ringing and I dry hands off and stand up. 

"I'll get it." I assure Sharise.

"Alright, it could be Vince. He said he'd call before he headed home."

"Okay."

I go to the living room and pick the phone up.

"Hello?"

"I'm coming by to pick you up." It's Nikki, and I furrow my brows and look at the time. 

"What're you doing up before two o'clock?" 

"I got a call from a hospital in Malibu. Tansy's in surgery right now."

My blood runs cold and I can't get my thoughts together. 

"Just be ready when I get there." He adds. "I'm leaving the house, now."

"O-Okay." 

He hangs up and I head to Skylar's room where Sharise is helping her pick out some clothes. 

"That was Nikki." I inform her and she looks at me. "Tansy's at the hospital in the middle of a surgery."

"Oh my God, is she okay?" 

"I don't know."

"Is she having more heart problems or--"

"--I have no idea, Sharise. Nikki didn't explain."

Despite her body being pumped full of varying drugs, none of them caused her to be sent to the ER. Something else entirely, did though.

"She's more susceptible to complications during surgery due to her previous heart problems and her drug use. She did decide to sign a DNR--"

"--I'm sorry, what's been signed?" Nikki raises his brows at the nurse. 

"A do-not resuscitate order. Meaning if she were to code, we can not perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation." 

"So you just fucking let her die?!" 

"Nikki, they had to explain to her what it meant, and she still agreed--" I'm cut short.

“--You know how much fucking heroin she fucking shoots on a daily basis?! I'm not even sure she could fucking see to sign her God damn in the first place, let alone comprehend you motherfuckers selling her death!" Nikki barks and the nurse sighs.

“Nikki, she’ll be fine.” I try to tell him.

"Fuck that!" He screams, fear in his eyes.

"Nikki, that's only if something goes wrong, alright? So far everything is going okay." I try to reassure him, my eyes drifting to her nurse. "Right?"

The surgery itself was going smoothly. One thing Tansy didn't tell us, however, was one of her kidneys was shot from her drug and alcohol abuse, and she asked her doctor to go ahead and take the thing out.

"She's in good hands." Is all the nurse says, before adding, "she should be out in a couple more hours." 

She walks away and Nikki shakes his head and lets out a heavy breath. 

"It'll be okay." I say to him.

“You gonna fucking pray about it or something?” He sneers at me.

“Yes.”

“Right, imaginary friends solve all of the world’s problems.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me doing something that brings me some peace.” I argue.

“You’ve been praying for me for the past six years. Feel any fucking peace, yet?” He snaps.

Believe it or not, no. I hadn’t felt any fucking peace.

It doesn’t take Tansy much longer to get out of surgery, and Nikki and I are horrified when her doctor explains what exactly he was repairing, being that the nurse wouldn’t tell us.

“Like...a shooter sized bottle--”

“--Pint.” He says to us and Nikki and I look at eachother.

“They tried to fit a pint sized bottle of Jack into her…?” I trail off.

“Well, they made it fit, it just didn’t stay intact.” He replies.

“The bottle of her vagina?” I question.

“I had to stitch up her vaginal wall extensively, and made sure to remove every piece of glass, including micrograins. Her left fallopian tube would have been compromised if the piece of glass that completely punctured through her vaginal wall, would have moved 0.004mm, which is about the thickness of a single strand of hair.” He states. “She’s very lucky her uterus or ovaries weren’t compromised. That wouldn’t have been as easy of a fix.”

“A--A bottle?” I’m stll stuck on them fitting a fucking bottle into her, my face twisted in horror as my stomach drops and my skin crawls.

He holds up a small container and rattles it around, the sound of glass swishing around making me cringe.

“Jesus fucking christ.” Nikki lets out.

“I’m going to tell her when she wakes, but please reiterate after me, that the next time she and her partner wish to add some heat to their sex life, maybe try not to be so blatantly reckless.” He suggests and Nikki and I nod, still speechless.

In a couple more hours, Nikki and I’s ears perk when she groans a little, our eyes shifting to look at her in her hospital bed.

Her bright blue eyes blink open, her brows furrowed in confusion, and it seems everything slowly falls into place for her.

“Tans?” Nikki says and she looks straight at him, just blinking.

“Where’s Sparkie?” She asks and we look at each other.

“We haven’t seen him.” I explain.

“Oh.” She quietly mumbles, closing her eyes again for a moment.

“Tansy, what the hell happened?” Nikki starts, a sharp tone in his voice.

She looks at me, carefully, before speaking.

“We were just trying to spice things up.” She says softly.

“With a fucking Jack Daniel’s bottle that clearly wouldn’t naturally fit inside of you?” He lets out.

She doesn’t say a word back, I almost think she doesn’t hear him, until she says:

“I’m not fighting right now.”

“Let’s just let her rest, okay?” I suggest. “She’s exhausted and she doesn’t need to be stressed out right now.”

Nikki sighs, but keeps his mouth shut.

After a few more minutes, I’m wanting a snack.

“You have any cash?”

He looks at me and I give him my best smile, making him exhale softly, digging in his back pocket for his wallet.

“How much?” He asks, clearing his throat.

“Like, a couple bucks.” I shrug and he hands it to me. “Thank you.”

I go to the vending machines past the waiting area, to see Sparkie sitting by the window, eating his food, and I glare at him as I walk by.

He doesn’t see me, unfortunately, and I just keep going to the Pepsi Cola machine calling my name.

I want to go curse him out, but Tansy doesn’t need the stress, and being they were both high as a kite, I can’t solely put the blame on him and only him.

She should have just left him years ago. All he’s been is trouble that she doesn’t need.

I get my Pepsi and a pack of M&Ms, walking around a little to stretch my legs since I’ve been sitting for hours.

I let out a heavy breath when I remember I’m nearly out of Nardil, being I flushed a majority of my bottle down the toilet in an angry effort.

I’ll make sure to call in some more before we leave for the next leg of the tour.

As I start on my way back to the room, I’m interrupted by the sight of Nikki and Sparkie standing face to face in the waiting room, and I drop my Pepsi and food when Nikki slams Sparkie’s head into the wall without a single word beforehand.

“Sir!” The receptionist yells, standing up as I go to them as fast as I can to get Nikki off of him as he grabs his shirt and punches the shitfire out of Sparkie, one of his teeth crumbling to the floor.

“I’m gonna fucking kill you!” He promises as he punches him two more times, not taking a breath in between with no signs of stopping his assault until Sparkie’s brain is bursting from his skull, but I’m managing to get Nikki off of him, making him drop Sparkie to the floor, his nose and mouth busted up as security comes in.

We were escorted out, and when we got home I called Steven and informed him what happened to Tansy, leaving out what actually happened because I didn’t need anyone else possibly being sued for trying to kill Sparkie, and he went to keep an eye on her.

“Anyone else you want to beat the shit out of while we’re home?” I snap as we get to the car.   “First Vanity, now Sparkie--”

"--What, you wanna go back in there and coddle him the way you did Vanity?" He hisses and I roll my jaw. 

"You know exactly why I 'coddled' her."

"Oh, right, because men aren't suppose to hit women so I'm an evil bastard for knocking the shit out of her even though she was punching and hitting at me."

"I've punched and hit at you and you've never--"

"--She came into our house, attacked me, and punched you, too, Vivian! I had a reason to bust her face up a little bit!"

"I can handle shit myself, Nikki, there was no need for you to hit her like that!" 

"It's called 'equal rights'! All you women want is to be seen equally and shit! You fucking punch me like you're a man, I'm gonna fucking punch you back, like you're a fucking man! Don't hit me like you've got bigger balls than I do and then scream and cry and whine and plead 'frail, innocent, victimized, dainty, woman' when you get treated equally!" 

"I don't do that!" 

"No, but you sure as hell were all about feeding the cracked out beast when she fucking did!" 

"That's it. I'm walking home." 

"Walking home? We're forty minutes away from L.A., Viv." 

"I'll hitch a ride! I'd rather be in a car with a sketchy stranger than be trapped with you for the next hour!"

"You've been trapped with me the past four years!" He barks. 

"Not for much longer, thank God!" I bite out and his face slowly falls. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Pretty sure going our separate ways is just inevitable for us at this point, Viv, so it's fine." He brushes it off and my heart hurts at the thought. "And I'm sorry for going after Sparkie in public. But I'm not apologizing for defending Tansy. I'm not ever gonna be sorry for defending any of my friends."

“What happened, Nikki?” I ask him. “What the hell made you go after him like that? You were fine when I left.”

He lets out a breath, his nostrils flaring, his knuckles gripping tightly to the wheel as he closes his eyes and forces himself to calm down, before saying:

“Nothing. I just really thought about it and it got to me.”

I didn’t find out what happened until Tansy told me months down the road, and nobody else knows that’s actually what happened.

If Stevie and Slash knew what really occurred to put Tansy in that shape to begin with, they would’ve killed Sparkie the second Tansy first went back and "relapsed" on him.

"Tansy, he hurt you." I remind her. "And I know it was an accident but it doesn't matter. He could've seriously messed you up more than he did."

"I know, but I love him, Viv." She argues. 

"Tansy--"

"--Nikki shot you. And you're still with him." 

"Because Nikki was high out of his mind and didn't realize he actually was shooting at me. He thought I was someone after him." 

"Sparkie was fucked up and didn't know he was hurting me."

"Who the hell shoves a pint-sized glass bottle up their cunt to begin with, Tansy?" I raise my voice, getting aggravated with her.

"I'm gonna go." She tells me, calmly, after a moment of being quiet. "And I saw your Playboy issue--Steven got it. You look very beautiful." She genuinely says and I let out a defeated breath.

"Thanks."

"I'll talk to you later, Viv, okay?"

"Got it."

"I love you, bye."

"I love you, too, bye-bye." 

I hang up and fall back on the bed, groaning loudly in frustration. 

"How the hell can someone be as passively suicidal as she is?" I let out.

I'd find out soon enough.

In the last ten days of September, "Girls, Girls, Girls" is certified double-platinum, a $5000 lawsuit is filed against the band after a mother had apparently suffered "severe hearing dysfunction and mental anguish" at a recent concert. 

I wish I could sew these bastards for hearing dysfunction and mental anguish because God himself sure as shit knows I've had my fair share of it due to them, too.

By the end of the month, Nikki has Doc convinced to bring Guns N Roses on tour for the south leg, starting at the end of October…and I don't know how to feel about it. 

"Are you not excited about it?" Fred asks me after Doc leaves his hotel room after coming in to tell me the news. "Thought they were your buddies." He adds and I look at him from where I'm eating a fry from the fast food bag that he'd gone and got for us.

"They are." I confirm, nodding. "I'm excited." 

"...You just acted like Doc told you we were going to a funeral." He chuckles, sipping his drink and I lick my lips a little. 

"No, it's great, I'm just a little stressed out." I shrug. "But I'm fine." 

"Viv, what's going on?" He's not buying it and Iet out a soft breath, nervously picking the skin from the instead of my cheek with my teeth. 

"There's just a slight complication." I tell him and he raises his brows. 

"I'm all ears." He offers and I exhale, shaking my head a little, before opting for a way to confess my sins to him without him knowing I'm the one that needs forgiveness. 

"Well, you know how Sparkie and Tansy have been together for a long time?"

"Yeah." He nods. 

"She's really good friends with Axl, too, and her and Sparkie have been having some problems and might even break up so Tansy's been anxious and panicking a little, and, well…" I think for a moment. "...over this past break, Tansy slept with Axl." I say and his brows raise. "Who's the singer for Guns, and they've kinda been having a weird relationship situation thing happening ever since, but she's still with Sparkie, and being that she and Sparkie are along for the tour, Axl's gonna be around and she doesn't want Sparkie to find out what's been happening." 

"Why won't Tansy just break things off with Sparkie?"

"She doesn't want to hurt him."

"He's a piece of shit to her, are you kidding me? I'd tell that motherfucker he could go blow his fucking brains out over it." He scoffs, chewing his burger and I feel my heart sink, apparently he reads the look on my face. "Sorry, I forget women are wired a different way than guys are." He apologizes, swallowing his food before saying:

"Does Axl make her happier, you think?" 

"Sparkie's just exhausting her at this point. I think she really loves him, she's just tired of fighting and she hasn't had any peace in years, you know? She's just really tired. But when she's with Axl, she feels like everything isn't falling apart. She's at peace." 

"I think she's gotta tell Sparkie they just aren't working anymore. And be honest about how she feels instead of trying to brush over it and find ways to escape from it. I've seen her do some questionable shit, and I know it's because she's in pain and just doesn't want to deal with what's hurting her. I think this fling she's got with this dude is another way of crying for a way out, but she feels like she's too trapped to actually leave Sparkie." He explains. 

I nod slowly, tearing up a little. 

"I'm just worried about it, is all."

"Don't be." He shakes his head. "Just tell her what I just told you, and maybe she'll be done with Sparkie before Guns comes on a month from now." 

I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a moment.

"I doubt it." I say so quietly he doesn't even hear it.

I felt like I'd gotten a little bit of my guilt off my chest--aside from the fact that I was leaving out a minor detail:

"Sparkie" = Nikki, "Tansy" = Vivian, and, "Axl" = Duff.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Boxing Day Extravaganza boop Jimmy: Okay so we know they're taking the train Jimmy: which appaz only takes like 35 mins so that's nice, not to have to entertain the kids for an age Jimmy: cos everywhere would be busy and hellish given that it's boxing day Janis: nice lil' journey, no one has time to get antsy, probably only need to do one hellish train toilet moment per child lol Jimmy: we can all get arty because Jimothy promised to keep doing the bae daily masterpieces Janis: get a table seat, love that for yous Jimmy: Cass just on her phone 🎧 being antisocial the whole time, love you gal, but the rest of us are living our best lives Jimmy: having hot chocolate and all the left over gingerbread and other festive snacks like 😁 Janis: you'll end up having an alright time in your own tween way don't worry Janis: the plethora of christmas toys that you've simply had to bring Jimmy: maybe you can have a Lisa beach friends moment Janis: that'd be cute, some kids at the arcade or something Jimmy: much more British and chill because we haven't stolen Ian's car for you to cover with 🐚s sadly Janis: I used to make friends on hols, live laugh love with whatever kids have also been dragged to Skerries lol Jimmy: I did not which tells you everything you need to know about how shy I was and how much my sister didn't want us to have other friends when we were kids Janis: gatekeeper trace so rude Janis: okay, so we're getting there, what do we wanna hit, obviously all the beachy cliches we can and also some festive ones Jimmy: gonna have a dip in the sea even though it's freezing af even if you only put your feet in lads Jimmy: the awkward moment when you think you only have a day here so you're gonna cram it all in and then be like oh Janis: don't be babies you can do it Janis: not the actual babies though, you will die Jimmy: stay with Cass even though I'm certain Libi will wanna do it Janis: she will be tryna run lmao Jimmy: soz for that Cass Jimmy: you'll be able to go off with your mates when you meet them, just give jj the chance to be competitive in the sea for a sec Jimmy: obvs gotta win something piss easy in the arcade and then lowkey bankrupt yourself trying to get the same thing for the other kid as always happened to my dad LOL Janis: hohaha yes Janis: also last time we went to an arcade you could get gross sour sweets with the tickets so the kids will be pinging Jimmy: love that Jimmy: Jimothy see how many you can fit in your mouth/eat because I would Janis: changing money into all the 2ps for the penny falls and having the cup for the money fun Jimmy: I bloody love an arcade tbh all that good stuff and beach fun and snow fun because it has to snow more for the trains to stop running since you got there okay Janis: when you realize it's coming down fast hun Janis: and I oop Jimmy: should've tried to leave as soon as the snow started but we're not because we don't wanna Jimmy: even though that phone call to Ian to tell him you aren't coming back will be lovely and put you in a great mood Janis: like you LOVE spending time with your kids ok sir Janis: everyone gonna be lowkey pissed soz weather happens lads Jimmy: we're with all our fave peeps we'll soon cheer up and live our best lives Jimmy: we definitely need there to be some board games in this caravan Jimmy: crack out the uno Janis: its not like you're without shelter and warmth, everyone will be fine, we're all buzzing lbr Janis: yes, all the board games, there'll at least be a telly to watch festive shit on Jimmy: Jimothy will make so much tea, we'll be cosy Janis: you should also eat comfort food like beans on toast ty Jimmy: make a little soft world/den for the bubs Janis: campout in the lounge 'cos you're not gonna wanna share a room alone but also don't wanna be separated so enjoy the double moment Cass Jimmy: winning her over with that Janis: at least that's an excuse if we want to message 'cos no privacy whilst they're out here snuggling Jimmy: true that's a good idea Jimmy: and won't wanna wake them by talking out loud when they're eventually asleep which would probably take forever cos buzzing Janis: my thoughts exactly, and it means we can ref a bit without literally sitting here listing every possible thing ourselves Jimmy: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jimmy: 👍? Janis: can't really accuse you of making it snow Janis: but my foot does feel in danger again 🪓💘 Jimmy: just do 🌧 me Janis: next doodle sorted Janis: get loads of likes Jimmy: blank page would an' all long as I do a #goals caption Janis: show off Janis: not much chance of me giving you #goals muse inspo in day old clothes so you'll have to rely on that clout Jimmy: LITERALLY the opposite, about the muse not my 🎨 Jimmy: and there's every chance if you don't wear any clothes, duh Janis: you still have to think up the words Janis: and 🔥 emoji usage 🙌😩 Jimmy: nowt challenging about that Jimmy: 😍💕or 🤤 Janis: how much chance do you reckon there is of no clothes Janis: meant to be 🥶 to death here Jimmy: depends how 🔥 you reckon I am Janis: 💯 Janis: obviously Jimmy: but I get it, any excuse for a shopping trip, girl Janis: 🤑🛍😍 Janis: you know me so well Jimmy: meant to be working tomorrow, take your chance while there's still 💰 to be after Janis: bummer Janis: it should clear soon, can't have you pining for it too hard, like Jimmy: 🥺☕💔🎻😭 Jimmy: @ my manager before he has chance to miss me Janis: *replace you Janis: 😬😶 Jimmy: 😱😱 Janis: literally who said that, omg Janis: so rude! Jimmy: brb gotta 👻 there to serve some lattes Janis: yeah, you'll need to wife it before you try and leave me with 3 kids Jimmy: weren't no 💍 in the grabbers, looks like we're going shopping after all, babe Janis: missed a trick there, honestly Janis: probably had a ring pop if we'd looked harder Jimmy: Libi'd have that right off you, mate Jimmy: don't even have to jilt you Jimmy: replaced mid-proposal Janis: true Janis: and she needs no more sugar ever again Janis: ❌ Janis: you'll have to just stay put, soz Jimmy: were gonna get you one of them mood rings but it'd give the game away by saying you weren't ALWAYS 😍 Jimmy: only need the one fan 👀 Janis: how dare you doubt my acting abilities Janis: ALWAYS on and ready for my close up Jimmy: that ain't acting it's 🔮 OBVS Janis: magic, talent Janis: all the same to me 🥇👑 Jimmy: alright bighead, go on Janis: go on what? Jimmy: always on, you said Jimmy: impress me with one of your talents Janis: here and now? Jimmy: might be on for a bit weren't what you said Janis: Libi's already seen you partially clothed once Janis: not trying to traumatize them permanently Jimmy: what you bringing me into it for? it's your talent Janis: already shown you how to juggle too Jimmy: there's nowt else? Janis: rude Janis: you made me sing to you as well, if you recall Jimmy: tah for the reminder to send that to Pete Jimmy: he's looking for a lead 🎤 so I've heard Janis: I'd literally kill you Jimmy: shouldn't have to beg you Jimmy: you know that's all I want Janis: 😤 Janis: obviously all I want it to have an ill-fated romance with Pete but you stagemomming me was not part of the dream Jimmy: you look SO cute when you're fuming Jimmy: what's your plan then? Janis: find a totally natural way to drop hints that I'm dead talented over my lattes, duh Janis: writing lyrics in a notebook, being SO cute 🤔 Jimmy: he's got a girlfriend with a normal sized head, but I think he can read so you're probably on to something there with the last bit Janis: normal? Janis: how...exciting Jimmy: you'll find a natural way to drop hints you're after a threesome an' all I'm sure Janis: sounds like a 🥈 move Janis: if I can't get her chucked what is the point Jimmy: perfect for you, that Janis: in no world am I runner-up Janis: fake or otherwise Jimmy: not to her, just to me Janis: you don't do co-workers, you're disqualified Jimmy: you reckon you could get her chucked but I couldn't get him sacked Janis: 😱 Janis: then comfort him, that's evil Janis: okay 💀👑 Jimmy: 😈 Jimmy: haven't seen her for ages, bit of normality for you, that Janis: me? Janis: she's your favourite customer Janis: clearly spend loads of time chatting and plotting Jimmy: that's Tammy, how dare you Jimmy: she orders loads Janis: she needs the energy for her tiktok dances Janis: don't call her fat Jimmy: that were you Jimmy: I would NEVER Janis: nah, 'course not Janis: she's your bestie Jimmy: #BFF Jimmy: but that's you an' all so Jimmy: 💔 for her Janis: I'm not sharing Jimmy: I'm not making you Janis: you know she'd take a bigger piece Jimmy: she'd try but you'd 🥊 her Janis: you want me to fight for you Jimmy: if she's after me, you're gonna have to protect me Janis: alright Janis: guess I don't wanna see you squashed to death Jimmy: get these bandages off first before I need another set Janis: you can go have an ice bath Janis: if you wanna Jimmy: why would I want that? Jimmy: sounds fucking horrible Janis: not because you're being too 🥵 idiot Janis: to help with the swelling Jimmy: 🙄 I got that Janis: you went in the sea Janis: you just have to sit for a bit longer Jimmy: you didn't wanna be left with 3 kids a bit ago Jimmy: make up your mind, Jeanette Janis: later then Janis: just don't scream and wake them up Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: we'll 👀 Jimmy: yeah and you won't hear nowt Janis: 😏 Janis: did it hurt less today Jimmy: [throws a cushion at her for the 😏 and to distract from having to answer that because probably hurt more if anything all the fun and games they've done today] Janis: [inadvertantly start a pillow fight here which you need to then calm back down] Janis: don't think I didn't notice Jimmy: ? Janis: you didn't answer Jimmy: you reckon I never do Janis: it speaks volumes Janis: you're alright Jimmy: there you go then Janis: if you're alright with it being inferred, yeah Jimmy: dunno about your 🤓🗨 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: I'm alright, leave it out Janis: fine Janis: no hot chocolate for you Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: you're SO rude Janis: yep Janis: that's what you get Jimmy: but Jimmy: we're best mates Janis: maybe Janis: but Bobbys nicer to me so he's getting extra marshmallows Jimmy: it were you going on about how you were gonna be nice to me Jimmy: should've known it were bollocks Janis: you threw the first pillow, mate Jimmy: you chucked out a pisstakey 😏 before that Jimmy: weren't me who started it Janis: not my fault you're known for being well loud Jimmy: isn't it? Jimmy: I'd say it were your fault Janis: don't make me 😏 again Jimmy: alright I'll make you 😳 Janis: I'll blame the ☕s Jimmy: you want a hand? Janis: [throw a LOOK from your kitchen area] Jimmy: [come on over boy and be giving her a LOOK back the entire time obvs] Janis: [do the thing where the kitchen is too small so you're lowkey just in each other's way the whole time in a #mood of a moment like so much more of a hindrance than a help] Jimmy: [and also the thing where you kiss only to break apart as if nothing happened if anyone notices] Janis: [Bobby would be used to you having a gf about as the last one moved herself in but Libi is not so she'd be the kind of kid to be like UMMMMMMM] Jimmy: [Oh Libi you are such an icon] Janis: [just like why you kissing are you boyfriend and girlfriend, Janis like shh bitch] Jimmy: [Jimothy's turn to be 😏 irl] Janis: [when you can't be like NO 'cos how confusing for the kids but you're like not gonna confess my love gal, hush, Libi is so gonna try and smooch Bobby watch out boy] Jimmy: [so here for that adorableness tbh] Janis: [when lil kids are like this is my boyfriend lmao] Janis: you've been replaced now Janis: how does it feel 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻😭😭😭 Janis: that's what you get Janis: dumping me mid proposal Jimmy: you keep saying that Jimmy: but from here I ain't proposed yet Janis: don't let on Janis: she'll be raging Jimmy: I'll take her with me tomorrow when I go pick the 💍 Jimmy: get her back on side Janis: got a plan for everything, you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: wait until its later in the year and I'm jonesing for more 🎁 again Jimmy: no need, you can have owt you want whenever you want it Jimmy: there's the plan, like Janis: well goals 😍😍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: if nothing else Janis: plenty of 🌨 to play with tomorrow Jimmy: I do take requests Jimmy: have a 💭 what ⛄ you want Janis: well you are pretty skilled Janis: have to think of something challenging Jimmy: you've got all night Janis: if they ever go to sleep Jimmy: you'll have to read them a long boring story Janis: ❌ voices ❌ personal cameos for you kids Jimmy: get Bill's 👻 in Jimmy: owt of his'll get the job done Janis: 😱😱 so true but you didn't have to go there, babe Jimmy: he can't be fuming that I want you to stay with me, it's his whole brand Janis: 🤞 he don't get too carried away with your 💀 scene now or they'll be having nightmares and then there'll be no time for ⛄ Jimmy: they'll be able to hack it Janis: hack you up into lots of pieces Jimmy: don't matter about me, long as no 🐕s are 💀💀💀 Janis: if nothing he knows his audience Jimmy: I get it, you wanna marry him Janis: pretty sure he's married Janis: bet he's got more than 3 kids as well Jimmy: and what you're gonna let that stop you? doubt that Janis: rude Janis: breaking up Pete and his groupie is one thing Janis: homewrecking is another Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you're 👌 at me now Jimmy: I just did do Jimmy: you'll be chuffed to know I had a look and he has got 3 kids Jimmy: one of them was a twin called Judith, so you might be his daughter Janis: like he had twins or one survived Janis: I'll take being the 💀 one if that's the option Jimmy: the dead one was a lad Janis: ugh Janis: great Janis: more lesbian jokes Jimmy: we've 💀💀💀 them, you're alright Janis: had no idea Judith was such an old name Jimmy: can't say I ain't taught you owt 🤓 Jimmy: know my audience an' all Janis: can't help yourself 🤓 Janis: I reckon Jimmy: you can't help nerd flirting with me, more like Jimmy: about to crack the chess set out, you Janis: chequers, maybe Jimmy: dunno never played Janis: just chess for thick people Janis: less 🤔🤓 more 🥴🤯 Jimmy: still too northern 💔 what were I gonna do make the bits out of 🥔 Janis: don't reckon we've got it in so you're safe Jimmy: what do you wanna do instead? Janis: that's the question Jimmy: answer it then Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: [😳] Janis: it's not obvious? Jimmy: might be but it should be just as obvious that I wanna hear it Janis: how badly I want some alone time with you just increased Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: worth a go Jimmy: [do your best to try and escape lads] Janis: [probably enough into our hot chocolate/festive film to give you a few minutes here] Jimmy: [take your chance and leg it] Janis: [lord knows you need the moment Jimmy: [it's deserved you didn't know you'd still be here with all these kids and no privacy whatsoever] Janis: [what a time, at least you don't have to go home and separate 'cos heaven forbid] Jimmy: [that would suck, the time between boxing day and nye is weird enough if you like your fam and aren't a highkey teen in love so] Janis: [hence 'I missed you' like you've not spent forever together at this point and barely been apart] Jimmy: [hence the most genuine smile ever like an adorable nerd because whatever he was expecting her to say was not that but we're here for it] Janis: [when you go to nudge him like shut up but it's more of a feelsy lean and we all know it 'sorry about missing work' 'cos we feel bad even if there's fuck all we can or could do about it] Jimmy: [always gotta give that feelsy lean back regardless of how much it hurts us which gets him thinking about how much work would suck being this injured so we're 😒 which makes it seem like we're really annoyed about missing work even though we know he'd rather be here, hence the shrug he does when he snaps out of said thoughts 'you're my fave job any road, said it before' stop calling her a job sir even if you said that in a more feelsy tone than the words suggest] Janis: ['charming as the first time' and a 🙄 we're probably playing off as more jokey than it is] Jimmy: ['nowt I'd wanna be doing more than pissing about here with you, what could be more charming than that?' maybe if you'd said that in the first place boy instead of calling her a job again] Janis: ['I'm against serving coffee to ungrateful dickheads, it's not much to brag about, like' but a shrug and 😏 'cos we're not fuming over it] Jimmy: ['loads else you could if you wanted to' just telling her she's 🥇 basically there 'but I'll do it if not' casual hypeman is how that sounds but we're just 😍] Jimmy: [when I was asleep a little list of things he likes about her/she could brag about came to me so I'll try and recreate it from memory for us now, first he was obvious and just wrote fit on her arm or wherever but then did a camera and painting mime to emphasise that and tell her she was a good muse before adding mysterious where he wrote fit but then it started getting cute cos he drew little vampire teeth in the air above her smile and a sun on her face which he added the 😁 grin to obvs and then because we were in that general area he wrote nerd in caps on her neck across the biggest lovebite because not only is she such a one but to include nerd flirting then we moved to her throat and he did 🗨 because he likes talking to her and added a 🎵 inside because she's genuinely a good singer then wrote fun before adding the ny as well cos she's also a laugh then he went down to where her abs are and wrote athlete also in caps because DUH and finally on her ribs did the ✔ again because she's been taking care of him and is so kind and nice etc and while he was there got carried away just drawing an elaborate and massive rose for all the love and feels we can't currently express] Jimmy: [there might have been others I'm forgetting but those were definitely the main ones] Janis: [I'm dying boo, we're going to have to be physical because if we aren't speechless then things will be said but it's going to be the most intense and loving ever so we know] Jimmy: [not letting that be interrupted, soz children fend for yourselves for a minute please] Janis: [it's not like we've gone far, you're fine and we need this so we don't die] Jimmy: [my half asleep day dream has killed us all I am soz] Janis: [we're not soz at all, y'all living your best life] Jimmy: [the feels have never been higher] Janis: [are gonna have to force you back in eventually] Jimmy: [if only so y'all don't declare your love in words as well] Janis: [smack on that window children because it's too damn soon hush] Jimmy: [Libi 👀 to see if you're kissing] Janis: [she's gonna tell everyone lmao, tiniest shipper] Jimmy: [I love her with my whole heart] Janis: [mcvickers getting that lowdown they did not ask for when we're back, accidental snitching, at least we're being good-ish lmao] Jimmy: [Fearghal gonna be so amused, Tess will not LOL but yeah you've taken good care of this bub so you win points for that lads] Janis: [can't say fairer than that] Jimmy: [gonna be so heartbreaking when you're not allowed to stay there and see Libi, I could cry] Janis: [we have to make things go so downhill in a sec in a lot of ways, sad times] Jimmy: [winnie will love the drama, but for now go inside and try and get these kids to fall asleep] Janis: [threaten them with separation if they don't start to chill, that'll work] Jimmy: [try not to lol at how horrified they are at the prospect] Janis: 😱💔💀 Jimmy: #relatable for you, that Janis: you wish Jimmy: 🎂 Jimmy: ain't even Jesus' birthday no more Jimmy: can't piggyback off that Janis: sound like a right parent Janis: over before it's even started Jimmy: none of the fans know when mine is, might just have it so you have to get me more 🎁🎁🎁 Janis: that's not fair Janis: you'll get whatevers left in the grabber and that'll be that Janis: you'll have to pretend you won it for me and all or it's not very #goals Jimmy: told you loads of times I don't play fair, Jules 🏆 and that's that Jimmy: spoil me on my fake birthday or you ain't very #goals Janis: well used to bdays not being fair 🎻🎻 Janis: 15 years too late for that to sting Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: hang on, I'll knock you up your own 🎂 Jimmy: [genuinely goes to make her a mug cake in secret, look away children there's none for you bye] Janis: such a 🤓 Janis: [like we're not 😍] Jimmy: So you don't want it? Alright Jimmy: [we know she do] Janis: never said that Janis: [grabby hands like gimme] Jimmy: [🤫 which he always looks hot doing like okay cover me so you don't have to share this with the children] Janis: [🤐 like I got this] Jimmy: [cleaning the kitchen but also sneaky doing this and when it's done gesturing for her to come here so they can swap places and she can sneakily eat it, just know he has 1000% put a little candle it in and lit it with the best lighter ever because every mum has a drawer of shit like that it's simply facts] Janis: [obviously taking a picture of this] Janis: why are you Jimmy: 'cause you're Jimmy: and I just Janis: you're Janis: too nice Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: to me Jimmy: I'm as nice as I wanna be to you Janis: I ain't earnt it Jimmy: when have I said that? Janis: you haven't but it's still true Jimmy: up to me is what it is Janis: you hand out the 🏆 Jimmy: take yours Jimmy: you've been nice to me for ages Jimmy: what were it I said the other day, you'd be telling me to piss off by the end of this one Jimmy: worth a 🏆 that you've not Janis: just in it for the cake Janis: obviously Jimmy: you've done alright then Janis: it's not hard Janis: being nice to you Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say to make a cake Janis: [irl 😏 from the kitchen trying not to lol] Jimmy: didn't know I were fake dating a dickhead like Paul Hollywood Janis: again, you wish Jimmy: no denying that 👴💕 Jimmy: but I'll have to make do with a  🤝 off you for now Janis: [obviously come back over and do said handshake like a nerd and like it's not dangerous to be anywhere near each other rn] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna run his thumb across her lip whether there's any chocolate there or not because the mood we're in and we can pretend it's because it's so secret like can't let the children see the evidence] Janis: [thank god for the solid excuse to snuggle like we're going sleep now come on] Jimmy: [just 👀 at these kids all the damn time like are you asleep yet] Janis: [finally] Janis: I think she's asleep Janis: he's 50/50 Jimmy: [chucks something at him, softly obvs] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that was a risk Jimmy: [😏 because we love a risk like that] Jimmy: didn't reckon on you as 🙀🙀 Janis: you reckoned right then Janis: good for you Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: don't get carried away Janis: I'm the one that's not scared Jimmy: prove it Janis: [a look that's half well how would you like me to do that and half, I'm thinkin'] Jimmy: [just a LOOK like] Janis: [I like to think you two are at least in the middle 'cos Libi and Bobby wouldn't stop chatting so you had to make a human barrier lol, so that makes it less hard to kiss him now and give him a new quick love bite but also harder to just stop there] Jimmy: [you know you're getting one back for literally no reason whatsoever gal] Janis: [casually trying have a makeout sesh in total silence rn] Jimmy: [we know how impossible that is for either of you so good luck] Janis: [gonna have to stop and pretend you're just being like, see, not scared] Jimmy: [gonna have to go for that ice bath for all the reasons now boy lol] Janis: they're definitely asleep Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I would've woke up Jimmy: you don't sleep 🧛 Janis: you want me to? Janis: [turning our back like night then] Jimmy: [you know we're rolling you back to face us girl even if it hurts us because have to be hot about everything] Janis: [a noise we're 🤞 just sounds like a sleepy sound 'cos there was no helping it] Jimmy: [kiss her so you don't make any of your own thank you sir, don't need to tempt fate and risk waking these kids up that soon] Janis: [can't even go to another room really 'cos doubt Cass is asleep] Jimmy: [she definitely isn't, soz lads for this struggle] Janis: 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 😳 🥵 Janis: just so you know Jimmy: I did but now it's in writing I've gotta do something about it Janis: 👻 rules or? Jimmy: the only 👻 rule is no touching, don't reckon that'll sort it Janis: remind me why we invited them Jimmy: Ian's a twat, that were mostly it Janis: right Janis: that sounds about right Jimmy: least the 🐕's not here an' all Janis: 🌦 Jimmy: give us a bit more ☀ Janis: that's me and you though Jimmy: what kind of dickhead am I pushing in front of you like that? SO rude Janis: I'm so shy Janis: understated, honestly Jimmy: [when you're trying to stop yourself from loling] Janis: [fake punch him like oi] Janis: about to call you chivalrous but you can forget it now Jimmy: soz you can't have the 🙊 it's a bit too risky for me to use Janis: such an idiot Janis: why'd I invite you again Jimmy: Dunno Jimmy: @ me when you've worked it out Janis: you're too busy to show me? Jimmy: ❌ Jimmy: too something though Jimmy: 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 😳 🥵 Janis: you needed an ice bath anyway Janis: see how far we get without freezing? Janis: [getting up carefully to find 🚬s or a lighter like ?] Jimmy: [doing a help me up style gesture] Janis: [do, do not drop him now and do a throwback by kissing him against the door as you go out] Jimmy: [we love a throwback in this house honey] Janis: [thank god for cigarette breaks even though it will be very cold, we're extra] Jimmy: [your extraness will help keep you warm] Jimmy: [literally reminds me of when Baze had just got together and went on a caravan hol with the fam] Janis: [yes, very that energy, the sneaking is less high stakes but still] Jimmy: [you can go in harder than they could out there because less likely to be caught and less of a problem if you are so you're welcome for that] Janis: [literally we just don't want to wake the kids and make them cranky or cringe Cass out so you're fine lads, go nuts, who is at this caravan park in December, barely anyone] Jimmy: [fill your boots, you're very in love rn] Janis: [lowkey something is gonna get said during we're gonna have to pretend we do not hear lmao] Jimmy: [walking such a tightrope at all times, god bless] Janis: [go pretend to sleep lol] Jimmy: [the amount of things he would have to stop himself from saying when they are, you hush your mouth I swear down] Janis: [hence you ain't allowed, commit to this act please and ty, no more chit chatting] Jimmy: [he's not even allowed to say her name at this point so literally shhhhhh] Janis: [made that rod for your back boo lmao] Jimmy: [no regrets, it will HIT when he does] Jimmy: [you know he's not asleep though cos you know he can't get comfortable thanks for that Ian you dick] Janis: you should go get in a bed to yourself Janis: if he wakes up, I can tell him where you are Jimmy: I'm alright Janis: alright Jimmy: [just being fussy though so clearly isn't] Janis: you're never going to be able to sleep though Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: you're keeping me awake Jimmy: it's you 🗨 Janis: you're 😫😤 Jimmy: but not 😭😭 Janis: I can still hear you Janis: and you keep moving about because you can't get comfortable Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: I'm not Janis: go get comfortable and I'll keep an eye on them both, that's nice Jimmy: how's chucking me out nice? Janis: for the aforementioned reasons Jimmy: for you that I won't be doing your head in Janis: no, so you aren't in as much fucking pain, idiot Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [angrily stomp off for a wee hen] Jimmy: [do your own to that 🛏 when she gets back] Janis: [oh the drama] Janis: thanks Jimmy: there's nowt to stop you 😴 Jimmy: crack on Janis: hardly Janis: there's two small, wriggly children Janis: don't need to be moody about it Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: don't need to go on at me now you've got what you want Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: or 🙄 at me either Janis: alright, shut up then Jimmy: you Janis: it's not my fault Jimmy: never said it were Janis: then stop taking it out on me Janis: do something about it that's actually gonna help you feel better Jimmy: I've not, I've said nowt about it Jimmy: you're the one who can't leave it out Janis: you're in a mood Jimmy: not with you, dickhead Janis: I know that Jimmy: 💭 what it were like when you fucked your ankle up Jimmy: this actually were my own fault Janis: no it ain't Janis: and I'm meant to just ignore it then, alright Janis: won't be doing that, sorry Jimmy: Bollocks, you can't go about being a massive dickhead and expect no pushback Jimmy: but it weren't this bad before Janis: it's too far Janis: you could literally be in hospital and it wouldn't be an overreaction Janis: there's no call for that Jimmy: it ain't you who decides where the line is Jimmy: or where I'll end up Janis: it's a pretty widely agreed upon line Janis: he could ask garda if he wanted to do something about you taking the car Jimmy: we've been mates for a minute, what do you know? Janis: that doesn't have nothing to do with being able to tell he took it too far this time Jimmy: you don't know fuck all about me or what he has or hasn't done Janis: I've seen the state of you, for fuck's sake Janis: I'm not saying shit about previous or implying that it means anything but you can barely breathe right now Jimmy: the state of me is right, what bit of this has owt to do with you? Janis: I'm not going to piss about with you doing stupid shit if you aren't handling your actual Janis: that's what Jimmy: piss off Janis: you Jimmy: who the fuck are you giving me ifs and buts Jimmy: you piss about with me whenever it suits you Janis: fuck this Jimmy: yeah Janis: [hear that door go] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'll be back when I need to be Jimmy: for all you know you've woke every dickhead up and that's now Jimmy: but alright, keep giving it out like you're so bothered about the state of me and the bollocks I can't do while you leave me here on my own Jimmy: not fake at all Janis: I know it ain't Janis: and if you're gonna leave a 4 year old kid to freak out that'd be on you Janis: I don't have to stay and listen to you, who the fuck are you Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I didn't slam the door, they're asleep Jimmy: that's alright then Jimmy: forget I said owt Jimmy: top reaction Janis: yeah 'cos you've got fuck all room to talk Janis: be better for you if I did Jimmy: I don't wanna do this Jimmy: talk about it Jimmy: have to fucking handle it or whatever it were that you said Janis: then don't talk about it Janis: it's the bare fucking minimum to not expect me to ignore that you're in pain Jimmy: and what, you think I don't know that? Jimmy: that I wouldn't do a better job of this if I could Janis: apparently, I've got no right so Jimmy: you shouldn't have to hack this an' all Janis: I don't Janis: all I was doing was saying go sleep on a proper bed Jimmy: it's just Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: weird Janis: how is it Jimmy: I said I dunno Jimmy: it's been ages since anyone bothered to say owt worth listening to like that Janis: well Janis: why fuck yourself up more Janis: that's it, it's no deeper than that Jimmy: Why not? Jimmy: that's been the question up to now Janis: if you're gonna self-harm Janis: don't do it in front of me Jimmy: you get to hold the 🔪 my dear, and when you do it'll be a pisstake if you don't go harder than that Janis: I'm not playing right now Jimmy: nor me Jimmy: what I meant were, it don't matter to me what happens to me if it only happens to me Jimmy: very catholic of me, I know Janis: i'm not interested in having no more blood on my hands Jimmy: not bleeding out as of now Jimmy: you're welcome to piss off again if I ever am Janis: 👍 Jimmy: is it? Janis: yep Jimmy: what kind of answer is that? Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: and what kind of question is that an' all? Janis: I'm not in the mood Janis: to talk to you or do this Janis: I'll be back to do my share and then we'll go back as soon as we can Jimmy: just come back now Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: I'm fine Jimmy: I won't be if I have to piss about looking for you Janis: don't Janis: I know where I am, it's not your concern Jimmy: don't make me Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: is right Jimmy: come back and ignore me from here Janis: don't tell me what to do Janis: I'll come back when I'm ready Jimmy: don't be a twat Jimmy: then I won't have to Janis: how far do you reckon I've got in this time Janis: I'm basically outside Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 you Jimmy: might've 🏃 anywhere Janis: it's snowing Janis: in case you'd forgotten Jimmy: that'll be why I want you to come inside Jimmy: tah for recognising it Janis: don't come near me then Jimmy: alright Janis: [show up a few minutes later] Jimmy: [we do be giving her space like she requested thankfully but we have made her a tea because it's our love language and it is cold af out there no lie] Janis: [act like you're not gonna take it for as long as you can but clearly do] Jimmy: [go to your bed sir and give it a while before you come at her again] Jimmy: What did you mean? Janis: about what? Jimmy: you said you don't wanna do this, which bit? Janis: I was talking about tonight Janis: not permanent plans Jimmy: weren't how it sounded Jimmy: you had a plan and it were to piss off back there as soon as Janis: both gotta work Janis: both got kids that don't belong to us Janis: just the obvious next step, really Jimmy: if you wanna pretend that's why, go on, obviously Janis: I'm not pretending shit Jimmy: you don't have to be a massive dickhead to keep it going just 'cause I already were Janis: obviously I don't want to spend no more time with you too Janis: why would I Jimmy: no idea Janis: there you go then Jimmy: alright then Janis: she'll be gutted Jimmy: ? Janis: Libi Jimmy: already spent ages longer here than we were going to Janis: true Jimmy: and she don't need to know that you're #overit and me Janis: makes playdates a bit awkward Jimmy: what's a bit more faking? nowt we haven't done before Janis: right Jimmy: she's less thick than most of our audience but still only a kid Janis: no need to break them up Jimmy: agreed Janis: sorted Jimmy: ✔ Janis: anything else we need to? Jimmy: like what? Janis: dunno Janis: why I asked Jimmy: it's your question, weren't me who asked it Janis: I don't ask questions I know the answer to Janis: as a rule Jimmy: if you had something in mind, say it Janis: there's loads of shit Janis: potentially Janis: mainly how we're finishing this if we are Jimmy: up to you that Jimmy: it's you who wants to Janis: no it isn't Jimmy: weren't me who said I wanna go back or that I dunno why you're worth spending time with Janis: like you've not said shit tonight Janis: and neither of those is saying I want to finish it, anyway Jimmy: what else does not wanting to spend any more time with someone mean? Janis: we've been mates for what, a minute? Janis: we were doing it before then Jimmy: so you just don't wanna be mates? Janis: not worked out so great thus far Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: it were going alright Jimmy: you don't need to chuck it all Jimmy: not for something that weren't about you Janis: you bighead is really showing Jimmy: how is it? Janis: 'chuck it all' Janis: I was fine before you came about, tah Jimmy: you know what I mean Janis: how you say shit matters Jimmy: how I say loads of bollocks Jimmy: you get most of it Janis: I'm dickhead lingual, I guess Jimmy: I'm sorry, alright Jimmy: for what I said when I was in pain, that load of bollocks Janis: if you never phrase it like that again Janis: alright Janis: forget about it Jimmy: deliberately will ALWAYS phrase it like that now, each time Janis: if you could not make a habit of it, be appreciated Jimmy: being a MASSIVE dickhead? bit late for that Janis: I can handle that Janis: taking shit back that you've said Janis: leave off that Jimmy: not a habit I want Jimmy: only fancy the ones that'll 💀💀💀 me which that ain't gonna if it makes you piss off out of it Janis: a deal then? Janis: deal back on, actually Jimmy: if we shake on it Janis: okay Janis: come out then Jimmy: come here then Jimmy: meant to take your advice and stay put like a good lad here 🛏 me Janis: you're awkward how and when it suits you Janis: [but does, obviously] Jimmy: [will shake your hand and pull you into a hug gal] Janis: [the most dramatic hug, definitely forgetting to be careful here soz] Jimmy: [not caring that much because we care more about the bae knowing how soz we are and how many feels we have] Janis: [likewise, the tension got too much and went wrong, as it does, and we're #shooketh] Jimmy: [straight up asking her to stay for a bit because we're in our emotions so we're just saying what we wanna say without thinking about it] Janis: [just nodding 'cos that's all we can do] Jimmy: [making room for her as if this isn't a single bed lol] Janis: [at least you'll remember to be careful again and not hug him so hard, but then you're like oh, 'cos don't want to make it a Thing™ again so 'sorry, if you think I was making it all about me'] Jimmy: [a noise like no that is not what we think because 1. the strength of how much we don't think that 2. what are words and just hugging her for the emphasis] Janis: [shrugs like it's okay but we're not gonna keep going like we don't believe him even if we lowkey don't] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ! 'I think it's more of a headfuck than you signed up for, nowt else'] Janis: [just looking like how do I even explain that that's not your fault and literally the last thing either of us should be concerned about because it does not matter, just shaking our head like nah] Jimmy: [playing with her hair cos it would've had snow on it recently because there is too much we wanna say about our feels and so much we feel like we can't say about our family situation] Janis: ['I CAN handle it' like trust me] Jimmy: ['me an' all' like same even though you lowkey can't] Janis: [soft kiss] Jimmy: [you can have some little kisses too gal like my boo loves] Janis: [just being the most soft] Jimmy: [you gotta] Janis: ['we're alright, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a nod because the emotions are still too high rn and I'm not letting you say shit thank you] Janis: [sigh of relief] Jimmy: [hugging you again cos we don't want you to leave] Janis: [you can stay here lads, the bubs will be alright and you'll hear if they ain't] Jimmy: [snuggle it's what you both need] Janis: [let 'em be for a hot sec] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [what shall we do in the AM?] Jimmy: [make breakfast together for these bubs obvs because all the domestic bliss needed] Janis: [might have to trek to the shop to get supplies, that'll be an adventure] Jimmy: [maybe you can make them some kind of sledge because you're both crafty art hoes] Janis: [I bet there's some kind of tings in a caravan that would work, cannot think what exactly but we know the vibes, get creative] Jimmy: [I wouldn't have the first clue but you two would figure it out and you can get Cass to help she'd be into that] Janis: [as well as snowball fight and snowman making competition, which are 2 points we wanted to hit too] Jimmy: [love that and you can also make snow dogs for these bubs] Jimmy: [the question is should we let them have another night here before we send them back or is that too dangerous] Janis: [I think we should for the danger of it/to prove we can lol] Jimmy: [I'm down, just don't have another argument please] Janis: [hohaha, be good] Jimmy: [I have faith in you] Janis: [the only thing I've said you've done is baking/crafts so apart from that enjoy your snow/beach funtimes, you should also get chips for dinner, obvs] Jimmy: [yeah I'm trying to think if there's anything else they should do] Janis: [there's potential the kids have said more? because this is a whole long weekend and they don't know/care not to so, that's potentially something we need to know] Jimmy: [oh that's a good idea, is there any tea you want spilled] Janis: [hmm, she'd probably just KEEP talking about her parents like all the things she's been told about Edie specifically, so all that tea, just more than we've got out so far] Jimmy: [likewise can picture Bobby really driving home the point that he doesn't have a mum and like what he remembers about her being basically nothing so it'd be obvious they haven't seen her for ages not just since they moved] Janis: [poor babs, just bonding and JJ are here like and I OOP] Jimmy: [I hope Cass isn't around when you're spilling that tea bub cos she will be fuming] Janis: [that is potentially a thing unless he knows better by now lol] Jimmy: [this boy living his best life with his new bff deal with it Cass] Janis: [soz hen, you'll be hanging with your new mates as much as you can so we're probably fine] Jimmy: [getting all that arcade swag] Janis: [love that we're pretending we don't hear any of this clear drama lmao ly babes] Jimmy: [poor Jimothy having to just sign all this back and forth like] Janis: [I do think for a bit Libi would keep shouting like he'll hear her eventually 'cos she's only little so that'll be amusing/a time just screeching everything lowkey] Jimmy: [that's really pure babe I do stan you] Janis: [people like that's a loud child lollollol] Jimmy: [I hope you're not still shouting when you go home hun, hilarious as that would be] Janis: [mcvickers like lawd, she'll be showing them how to sign what she's learnt like just in case bobby comes round] Jimmy: [which he definitely will at some point, all the playdates forever] Janis: [fully gonna just try and take herself to Jimmy's all the time like no gal] Jimmy: [shows up at his door because they literally live that close to each other everyone like !!!???] Janis: [troublemaker baby] Jimmy: [do so love the edition of her to this lil family unit JJ are making here though, she really does add to it] Janis: [agreed, it's very cute, she'd probably have told him about how Astrid is technically her auntie but like a year younger 'cos that's wild to kids, so gonna get a sense of how messy this fam is lol] Jimmy: [and she doesn't talk either so Libi would be used to having to find ways to communicate with her too even though we know Ro be pretending there's no issue rn] Janis: [exactly dr phil, we all been knew and trying to work around it apart from ro lmao, just giving a lowdown on every auntie she has which would be amusing and probably a lowkey drag for some of y'all ladies, we know Janis and Billie are her faves] Jimmy: [I can wholeheartedly support those faves gal, Billie would always be doing the most for her and Astrid, fuck you Ro you dusty bitch, Bobby would love all this cos they lowkey have no fam] Janis: [take 'em for rides on your fancy wheelz, they'd love that, just like you can come meet them when we get back like okay JJ, all this is happening regardless, soz] Jimmy: [if she was here you'd have a bomb sledge hens she's probably built Libi and Astrid all kinds of things, Bobby will love all of Ali's animals and shit she has too, casual farm moment] Janis: [probably telling you every cats name too, poor Jimothy is gonna need a break lol] Jimmy: [unrelated but related do you think Ali would have space for any horses because I have all that Cass horse content] Janis: [I think it makes sense, I too have some gay horse content, like it wouldn't be a working farm but I think she'd have various farmyard animals just for the household] Jimmy: [yeah it made sense to me too, like your auntie vibes] Janis: [mhmm, and it could've been just land when we inherited it but she's swagged it up now she has more time/the kids aren't bubs etc] Jimmy: [Bobby just asking if they can have a kitten, Jimothy like NO] Janis: [I'm cackling, 'cos Libi like YEAH] Jimmy: [just like okay can we have a chicken/pony/donkey whatever else creatures there are, Jimothy like lawd] Janis: [just shoving the whole barn into your rental home, god bless you tiny fools] Jimmy: [and then Bobby obvs wants to phone Twix and Jimothy is just trying to distract him because we don't wanna phone Ian and he won't play along with this thank you] Janis: [distract y'all with an activity fast] Jimmy: [they could make dog treats, it's not very difficult] Janis: ]that's a good idea boo] Jimmy: [casual gift to these pups] Janis: [they'll enjoy that, kids and dogs, also can have a tea party for the toy pups lol] Jimmy: [so CUTE gonna say that Jimothy draws you a little comic strip or something about these pups kids] Jimmy: [I don't know what daily doodle you're getting today Janis, but something loved up for sure] Janis: [frankly, we're all living today hun] Jimmy: [do you wanna do this night like we did the one before with them chatting again or are we just saying it's a chill loved up vibe?] Janis: [hmm hmm hmm, let's do it, maybe we can be cute] Jimmy: [you start it then gal cos I did before] Janis: [on it sonic] Janis: 🥇🏆💪 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: come on, we bossed it Jimmy: no need to sound surprised Jimmy: just that kind of team Janis: not going to disagree Janis: 🤐 'til they 😴 aside Jimmy: don't wanna fight with you either, you're alright Janis: really? Janis: 🍀 night Jimmy: unless you desperately wanna 🥊 with me, obvs Jimmy: can't turn you down then Janis: I'm gutted, obviously Janis: but I think I'll survive Jimmy: good Jimmy: 💀💀💀 ain't happening til they're 😴 either Janis: that's a promise? Jimmy: depends Janis: ? Jimmy: do you want me to break it or keep it? Jimmy: 'cause they might not be asleep for ages Janis: 😒 Janis: should've laced the hot chocolates, you're right Jimmy: we'll have to go properly on the run if either of them 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I'm in Janis: knew you would be Janis: you can break your promise then Jimmy: round 2 ☕ coming up Janis: 😏 Janis: warn me next time you plan on being so 😍 yeah Jimmy: be loads of warnings Jimmy: never shut me up Janis: just say you aren't up to it, babe Janis: 😶 Jimmy: Why would I lie to you, girl? Janis: well you don't need to shut up on my account Jimmy: I get it, you need 🔊 Janis: needs a big word Jimmy: is it? Janis: don't you think? Jimmy: that's not an answer Janis: I know what I want Janis: you'll have to convince me on need Jimmy: alright Janis: not mad about it if you aren't Jimmy: Why wouldn't I be? Janis: it's been a pretty knackering day being the 😎 brother and translator Jimmy: *standard Jimmy: nowt if not used to all that Janis: alright, show-off Janis: you're 🥇 we get it Jimmy: you've done alright an' all, don't be 💔 Janis: don't worry Janis: not a title I'm after, I know I'm not that good Jimmy: how do you? Janis: I don't do half as much with Libi Janis: or for her Jimmy: she still reckons you're 🥇 I had to translate her going on and on about it Janis: don't act like it was a chore 😘 Jimmy: you just said it were Jimmy: make up your mind, Jules Janis: no I never Jimmy: knackering, I think it were Janis: that's looking after this lot Janis: not hyping me up Janis: that's a privilege, DUH Jimmy: so funny, you Janis: oi Jimmy: what? Jimmy: you wanted a compliment Janis: say it like you mean it, boy Jimmy: [writes it on her how he did the other day] Janis: [try not to lol 'cos we know you ticklish and 😳] Jimmy: [go over it again like look how much I mean this, soz gal] Janis: [just wriggling away like staph] Janis: you're such a pisstake Jimmy: what, you still don't believe me? Janis: I believe you Janis: don't tickle me again or I will have to get you back Janis: been warned Jimmy: [obviously does by writing how? as in how will you get me back?] Janis: ['scuse us for our lols children, I hope you're sleepy enough that this doesn't devolve into an entire group tickle fight lmao] Janis: [but the LOOK will speak for us regardless] Jimmy: [always gonna give you a LOOK back] Janis: [smile at him too, like we can't even help it] Jimmy: [of course you're getting one back too because that kind of thing is infectious but also 😍 because her smile is always cute] Janis: you're fit Jimmy: you Janis: you x2 Jimmy: you 🏆🏆🏆 Janis: you're being very giving with the 🏆s lately Jimmy: and what? Janis: maybe I think I should do more to earn 'em Jimmy: I might reckon you have Janis: I can do better Jimmy: go on then Janis: wait Jimmy: but Janis: blame them Janis: [pisstakey evils at the children] Jimmy: [just mime killing them in all the ways boy] Janis: when we get back Janis: you'll give me some alone time before you go Jimmy: that a question or an order? Janis: a ? would be polite, I guess Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Janis: cheek Jimmy: I'll give you owt you want, since you asked Janis: *nicely Jimmy: you could do better Janis: ['please' in his ear 'cos deserved after the tickling] Jimmy: [bite your lip please sir because we all know that affected you very much but the children don't need to] Janis: [pleased with ourselves dot com] Janis: better? Jimmy: it'll do for now Janis: gutted they're too young to leave in the arcade as well Jimmy: or chuck out in the snow Janis: it is melting a bit Janis: can go back tomorrow Jimmy: 💔 Janis: not saying it to 💔 now Jimmy: 🤞 I ain't gonna start 😭😭 now Janis: you'd never Janis: too 😎 Jimmy: too northern Janis: same Jimmy: SO much in common, us Janis: Does that mean we ain't star-crossed enough? 😱 Jimmy: it'll mean the #haters have to work harder at it Jimmy: Bill's gonna be chuffed to bits with that Janis: true enough Janis: if you're still here when school starts, Lucas is ready and waiting Jimmy: do you reckon he got any new ties for christmas? Janis: from who? the ex Janis: unlikely, that bitch Jimmy: 🎅 DUH Jimmy: bound to be best mates Jimmy: both into having kids on their laps Janis: ugh Janis: 🎅 gonna have snitched about us Jimmy: be about right Jimmy: fucking dickhead Janis: 💔 Janis: no presents no more lift offers Jimmy: only the full orchestra following you round Jimmy: poor baby Janis: tell me about it Janis: gonna be depressing as fuck Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: you're my ☀ Janis: 🔫 the 🥁 for me Jimmy: what? Janis: don't orchestras have drummers? Janis: 🎹🎻 then Jimmy: bit weird that you went right for him 🎯 Janis: so #notlikeothergirls of me Jimmy: not knowing if he exists Jimmy: might be a copout of you Janis: just meant he ain't the lead singer but yeah Janis: ask Pete Jimmy: can't be, that's you Janis: well I am my own favourite person but no need to spread that about Jimmy: can't do that either, your fav's meant to be me Janis: hang on Janis: I'll post something to that effect Janis: [do] Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [have a little socials flirting sesh to further ramp up the tension that's always there] Janis: [you're always about that kids] Jimmy: ☕? Janis: if you mean tea Janis: I'll 🤮 if I have another hot chocolate Janis: and the gals aren't here to impress Jimmy: 🐕🍪? Janis: fuck off 😏 Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: [just checking him out whilst he makes tea so casually] Jimmy: [will do the lingering touch when he gives it to her cos we're in a rom com] Janis: I get it, you miss work SO much Jimmy: nowt to do with missing you Janis: don't be silly Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: insensitive to suggest we deafen her too? 🤷 Jimmy: she has done every other dickhead Janis: 😂 Janis: only fair Jimmy: [mime some ways you can deafen this poor bub] Janis: [trying not to IRL 😂] Jimmy: [trying not to be 😍 af because she's the cutest] Janis: face'll get stuck like that Jimmy: already stuck as 😒 Janis: exactly Janis: don't ruin it Jimmy: know how much you're into 🥺 though Jimmy: [does it] Janis: [pinching his bottom lip between her finger and thumb like she's so 😒🙄 but there's no hiding the truth hen] Jimmy: [once again running his thumb across her bottom lip because we don't need a reason] Janis: [holding his hand but squeezing it first 'cos must] Jimmy: [drawing a ! on her hand because we get it] Janis: you're Jimmy: [drawing a really slow ? as we give her a LOOK] Janis: [shaking our head, like I can't] Jimmy: [draw a 🗨 like tell me] Janis: all things considered Janis: this has been alright Jimmy: yeah Janis: I mean it Jimmy: me an' all Janis: [looking away 'cos we're so overwhelmed and 🥰] Jimmy: [kiss her because likewise] Janis: [don't hate children] Jimmy: [we know you ship it] Janis: [reminds me, Libi probably saying something so embarrassing about 'when they get married' like gal shut up but never do] Jimmy: [about to sob because they will and you can be a bridesmaid gal even though you'll be a teen by then] Janis: [so nice, 'cos Edie wouldn't have been old enough for a proper one which is sad, at least she'd start going on about hers and Bobby's so y'all don't need to feel too awks lol] Jimmy: [break my heart boo cos yeah they would've been engaged but she was but a child still so no actual wedding for y'all] Janis: [she was only 16 for like 2 months so even if Ali had agreed] Janis: [omg hang on] Janis: [what if she did 'cos like, end of the day, make your own mistakes etc and who is she to say no 'cos Cali lmao but technically Drew could be considered to have 'parental responsibility' if he's been paying which let's say he has, it seems wishy-washy but if he was like NO, 'cos just show up to do the least last minute is such a vibe for him, I think it'd count 'cos you need both parents if you have 2] Jimmy: [I love that and we must because it was like OG Cali vibes to have an underage teen wedding moment] Janis: [like so sorry do not need to be creating drama last minute in your life but also it makes sense, because as much as it's like who tf are you, it'd be conflicting because she's only wanted a dad and for him to care this whole time so] Jimmy: [soz not soz about how happy this makes me and Libi will have that wedding video to go with all the others she has] Janis: [it just makes sense that they'd try, obviously, that Ali would say yes even if she's got the reservations she has, so yeah, anyway, that's not to do with y'all lmao I just had a thought] Jimmy: [gutted this isn't Ali's caravan cos there would've been a whole dressing up box for you bubs if it were] Janis: [you can have a fake wedding when you are home lol] Jimmy: [for now make some paper doll bride and grooms that'll keep you busy] Janis: [burn that evidence, Tess is gonna be horrified, like what's this about ANOTHER teen wedding] Jimmy: [honestly this fam do make me cackle] Janis: [not enough time has passed since ruster getting married at 18 we're all triggered lmao] Jimmy: [would Edie's be before theirs or after? I get so confused] Janis: [hmm, let me think, theirs would be about 34...which is when Libi is born, so yeah, Edie is about 15 so it's the year before, 'cos obviously they get married like RIGHT before they die in 35] Janis: [talk about a YEAR for the fam, hi I'm having a baby @ 14 and hi I'm getting married to my cousin @ 18 oh and I'm also going to get pregnant] Jimmy: [we are so wild I love us] Janis: [if anyone's kids would, it is Alison's but omg, we're shooketh, not to mention we cripple Billie, then the Junior baby drama...no one getting out unscathed] Jimmy: [and now we've got jj triggering everyone and Grace out here about to also think she's a teen mum for a hot sec] Janis: [this is why everyone chats shit about y'all, but imagine the lowkey weird guilt 'cos nothing does happen to the twins really, aside from the obvious, but it's bad enough this all happens in your fam and then everyone won't shut up about it like] Janis: [also Nancy and Ava by that extension 'cos Buster embroils himself in it all and the Chloe and James of it] Jimmy: [that's why Grace is how she is guys, this fam and shit nan ruining her life lowkey] Janis: [when you can't complain 'cos it's like um well Edie's dead and Billie is crippled for life so bye, hence Janis just does as she pleases and is a bitch to everyone 'cos call her a troublemaker and whatever then, like fine, it's better than trying to deal and act like you're #grateful and #blessed] Janis: [and that's all the drama that's yet to come out, oh guys] Jimmy: [I'm gonna go re-read what I said about Jimothy's ex on the school trip because only time she's been mentioned and maybe tone that situation down depending what I've committed to because the cali fam is a LOT] Janis: [I remember the basic vibe was pregnant and with her dad's friend but yeah, go look] Jimmy: [yeah but hopefully I haven't gone in mentioning that so far and we can be like ❌] Janis: [yeah, even if it was just a lad her own age-ish and preggo now, 'cos it may have even been 2 kids and they're only 15 now so] Jimmy: [I think we've got away with implying she's a very messy bitch who has now changed her ways at least somewhat so that's fine because I don't think I've mentioned her in any of the festive convos] Janis: [we'll let you live gal] Jimmy: [anyway we've been derailed] Janis: [truly, y'all want to settle these children down again tah] Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: [get in your little den bubs] Jimmy: *🥱🥱 Jimmy: 🤞🤞 Janis: Ideal Janis: just saying, not going to their wedding Jimmy: we'll be long 💀💀💀 mate, don't worry Janis: not if she makes herself a loo roll veil and has done with it Janis: poor Bobby has had no say in the matter Jimmy: ain't seen him shake his head Janis: such a romantic Jimmy: Dunno where either of 'em get that from Janis: dread to think Jimmy: no need to 💭 about owt that isn't #goals, you're alright Janis: 🤵👰💀🤢 Jimmy: don't fancy the look of your new scale much Janis: 😏 Janis: not a question I'd even fake pop, don't be 😱 Jimmy: not even if every dickhead but me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺?! Jimmy: so 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: even if I had fuck all, you wouldn't be getting half of it Jimmy: keep your 🐕🏃💰🔐 I get it Janis: you don't whore for those tips for nothing, yeah Jimmy: in the job description, that Janis: why else would you apply Jimmy: my ☕🎨 going unappreciated in this lifetime is an #ultimatekink Janis: of course Janis: 💔 fuels your craft Jimmy: 🖋✎🖌🔪🔧🔨🪓 Janis: 🥱 to 🤤 Jimmy: massive scale that one Janis: one time speed is impressive Janis: have it Jimmy: if you ain't bringing up either of us being 🥇 at driving Janis: that aside Janis: 🏃 too Janis: not where my 🧠 was obvs Jimmy: tah for not wanting to piss off Jimmy: mine's not on 🎨 at this very minute so I ain't after the 💔 Janis: 💀💀 Jimmy: ? or ! Janis: bit of both Janis: request and an order Jimmy: come here then Janis: [a look like dare I/do I but also a LOOK obvs] Jimmy: [giving a LOOK back always] Janis: [get snuggled in this den moment best you can without disturbing the kiddos] Jimmy: [being as sneaky as we can cos don't need these kids getting extra about your rom com life again but pulling her into his lap, injury be damned because we miss it] Janis: [missed it too and our expression would say as much] Jimmy: [it's been forever like literally pub crawl was the last time] Janis: [upsetting and rude, frankly] Jimmy: [it really is, excuse you Ian] Janis: [thank god she's skinny if tall, not gonna kill you] Jimmy: [gotta do what we gotta do cos shameless fave thing ever] Janis: [just drawing doodles all over his arm with her finger] Jimmy: [playing with her hair while she does] Janis: [we're happy and that always scares us ah] Jimmy: [likewise, oh lads] Janis: [go on your phone and see about the NYE party you aren't gonna get to go to and show him like] Jimmy: [ooh good idea boo] Janis: [are we saying it's at Mia's or did I imagine that] Jimmy: [I think we did to make it more of a thing that they don't go, because we all know Mia literally never hosts a function like it's only this all year] Janis: [so it would be such a to-do for the flat whites 'cos lord knows you've not got the reps you think you have ladies] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and we know her and Pablo are over/on the rocks so she'd be even more extra about it] Janis: [thankful we miss it tbh] Jimmy: [hard same and not just cos I love the drama] Janis: [its all the drama mick, we know it'll be a terrible party but yes, rn you can plan how you're gonna slay it if you wanna] Jimmy: Go on, how are we topping 🎄 with them? Janis: already done 😇 Janis: so it'll have to be 🌟 Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say 😈 Janis: also a possibility Janis: this party is one of the only way she has of winning + at this point Janis: how do we really ruin it for - Jimmy: where's her dad? be real hell for him, this Janis: some beach in the Caribbean Janis: he couldn't miss that to continue her punishment Janis: 💔 he don't care as much as you thought, babe Jimmy: still probably won't take much to get him back Jimmy: that lass ain't had another go at a party since we fucked up hers Janis: he is with her mother so fuck knows how he manages to have a good time Janis: assumedly it's one giant swingers convention or whatever Janis: true, I wanna do it worse though Janis: more personal, just need to 💭 how Jimmy: what I'm hearing is you want me to 💀💀💀 them for you Janis: like the sound of that Jimmy: so say it and I'll do it Janis: that's how it works, yeah Jimmy: you can have owt you're after from me, you know it works like that Janis: only if we post it Jimmy: you've got my permission to hold my 📷 while I've got the 🔪 Janis: 😍 Janis: can't promise quality Jimmy: what are you promising? Janis: you know what Jimmy: don't get more top quality than 🥇 Janis: whatever you want Janis: that's what I'll give you Jimmy: I just want Janis: go on Jimmy: [kiss her please because I'm not going to let you say something extra right now] Janis: [intense silent kisses ftw rn] Jimmy: [I do hope these children are asleep because silent is not his forte for very long] Janis: [we'll give you that, as Libi has already rinsed you lol] Jimmy: [and keeps spilling all the fam tea] Janis: [gotta let you have something lads or you'll go cray] Jimmy: [and we're ruining it all for you soon] Janis: [ugh shit nan, soz not soz you're getting floored hen] Jimmy: [honestly wish it was worse cos so deserved] Janis: [as if this is the time for you to drag up Caleb's drama, like didn't even mention he had to go and get killed, like ffs] Jimmy: [hopefully Ali will ban you from the gaff because we're all sick of your shit my love] Janis: [we were humouring you to be nice but like, no] Jimmy: [the amount of chances she's already given you through the years, dread to think tbh] Janis: [we all know she gives too many, like she never banned either Caleb or Drew from seeing their kids or being involved, she's not that bitch if she doesn't have to be] Jimmy: [likewise with Joe and Ronnie, nothing if not consistent and I love you gal] Janis: [and ro lbr] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [oh rosaline, this do not be about you though, again, off topic] Jimmy: [I wanna say he's thought of something to ruin this party we don't get to go to because we just wanna give the bae everything she wants but I don't know what] Janis: [we can because as it won't get to come to fruition, we can be vague lol, just kissing him even harder] Jimmy: [how intensely we're doing literally everything rn because the feels are so high] Janis: ['we need to go' when you mean to the bedroom but that just comes out that dramatically lol, obviously we're whispering 'cos if you wake up now lmao] Jimmy: [try not to fall over the obstacle course of all the stuff these children have left everywhere because we all know you're gonna kiss the whole way there because forever a cliche] Janis: [as funny as that would be, one of you is injured and the other has only just recovered so be careful tah] Jimmy: [and you'd be fuming if you got cockblocked rn, we don't need another argument happening between anyone] Janis: [Cass I hope you're out or otherwise entertained 'cos yeah] Jimmy: [maybe you're asleep too tbf because we never get any at home and you've been busy having friends and living your best life] Janis: [let's go with it, we're all content] Jimmy: [hook up to your heart's content lads we'll be sending you back in the morning] Janis: [so you'll be going back 28th, just so we know where we are] Jimmy: [thank god you can work things out properly my boo] Janis: [gives us a few days to do with what we want so that's nice] Jimmy: [is there anything else on the list or have we done it all?] Janis: [the only things we have is Twix being ill and one of Asia's sisters having a bday party, we could do Twix in this period, can't really do a party between xmas and ny even they're not that dumb] Jimmy: [we should do that bday party when she gets back and things are really awkward between them because Bobby can be like I want Libi to come with me because they thing they are in love rn] Janis: [yeah, and they could fuck with Asia and when have they needed much more than a flimsy excuse so] Jimmy: [that was my thought, an excuse to get them back together that isn't just school] Janis: [think that was the plan, we can skip to when they're back if you'd like, don't think this has been that long] Jimmy: [I know we always say that but it shouldn't have actually been that long this time lol] Janis: [we alright, also back home and separated] Janis: everyone's sufficiently sure we haven't permanently damaged the kid here so 🏆 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Ian ain't gonna give me no 🏆 Jimmy: no longer the season Janis: and his nice act was SO convincing Jimmy: IKR Janis: 🙄 if I needed acting lessons Janis: which I don't Jimmy: you're in luck there 'cause my mum'd be the one for it putting up with his bollocks for as long as she bothered Jimmy: but about as likely as him chucking out the welcome wagon for us Janis: Shame Janis: better not tell him about the wedding Janis: 😡 🤬 all 'round Jimmy: the 💰 saver of making it a double might do something about that but with how you feel about sharing Jimmy: it'd be you fuming Janis: look like we'd hired mini-mes Jimmy: bit of a mix up with yours Janis: it happens Janis: get what you pay for 🎻 Jimmy: she's spot on with matching your ☀ personality, babe Jimmy: nowt else matters Janis: low Janis: don't compare me to a toddler 😂 Jimmy: work on her volume 🤏 and no dickhead'll know the difference Janis: you're gonna talk big now I can't do nothing about it Janis: twat Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: doing my bit so you ain't 💔 missing us Janis: very thoughtful Janis: I'll be buzzing to sleep in a proper bed on my own Jimmy: just that kind of twat, me Janis: I know Janis: how many treats he given the dog then? Jimmy: come on, none of us can count that high Jimmy: need you for that Janis: I'll have to come see you then Jimmy: won't let you 😴 heard you about wanting your own bed Janis: it's not that good, honestly Janis: but you know Jimmy: sounded alright to me, might just be the no kid 💭💡 though Janis: yeah Janis: unlucky Janis: least you won't have to make a fort every night Jimmy: depends how 💔😭🎻 he gets missing her Jimmy: might have to do all sorts of bollocks Janis: 😏 Janis: tin can phone might actually work from that distance and with her volume Jimmy: dinner and tonight's crafts ✔ Janis: caravan life makes you so resourceful Jimmy: ⛺️ next? Janis: calm down bear grylls Jimmy: only answer to daddy 🐻 or baby when you INSIST on a compromise Janis: well, baby Janis: imagine the previous 2 nights, in a tent, with no room to hide Jimmy: all of it or just the bits I wanna 💭? Janis: the bits you wanna wouldn't have a lot of hope of repeating, is my point Janis: unless yours is making dog treats was your fave Jimmy: OBVS Janis: dickhead Jimmy: time of my life that were, think about it constant, no room for nowt else but 🐕🍪 Janis: yeah, you do LOVE that dog Janis: fair enough Janis: you two go on your camping holibobs Jimmy: bit rude you're not coming, but alright Janis: no room Jimmy: loads under the ⭐s girl Janis: 🤩 Janis: tents are for pussies Jimmy: it's a yeah now then? Janis: just us? Janis: and the 🐕 Janis: bit unfair to call the kids pussies but probably more unfair to make 'em rough it like that Jimmy: reckon I'll just leave the 🐕 with our kid, so he's not as 💔😭🎻 you reckon he's not 💪😎 Jimmy: it's a 👶 an' all Janis: I never slagged him off Janis: he's alright Janis: just Jimmy: just us Janis: yeah Janis: and all the ⭐s Bill knows the names of Jimmy: he'd have me name them after all the ones I've got for you Janis: why the pricks not invited Jimmy: keep it between us that we're even going Janis: 🗢🔒 Jimmy: til we get there Jimmy: 🗨🔊 then if you want Janis: *need Janis: least we get to christen Mia's bed this party Jimmy: 🤞 we find her diary an' all Janis: can put it on the site Janis: the good bits, anyway Jimmy: trash her room since she was so chuffed the last time Janis: wonder if daddy keeps anything incriminating about the house Jimmy: he'll have an office Jimmy: dickheads who spend every minute at work always do Janis: yeah, I know the sort Janis: and keeping it locked'd be too suspicious Jimmy: piss easy Jimmy: where on the scale'll 💀👑 end up if we christen his desk an' all? Janis: I'd guess 😩 🥺 😢 😭 but we'll see 'cos I know where I am Jimmy: go on Janis: guess first Jimmy: or what? Janis: I won't tell ya Janis: play the game Jimmy: you're 😳 Janis: close Janis: 🤯 you keep having such good ideas Janis: 😣 it ain't tonight Jimmy: might have a 🥇💡 for tonight if you play nicely yourself Janis: how do I do that? Jimmy: do you need me to tell you? Jimmy: done a top job of it without that Janis: might be part of the fun Jimmy: I dunno what fun we're having yet, just that Ian'll have had an easy go of it while we were gone Janis: bet it was well hard for him to act like he gave a shit you was gone for longer Janis: plenty of ways to get to the truth of it Jimmy: can't promise you'll 👀⭐'s but there'll be 🎆🎇 Janis: I'm in Jimmy: we should be out first, dunno why I'm pissing about here when he is to chuck the kids at Janis: there is loads for Bobby to tell him Jimmy: and my sister to go on about an' all Jimmy: and there's this Jimmy: [evidence of whatever carnage Twix has caused] Janis: 🙌 Janis: told you she was on side Jimmy: [evidence of how much she's wilding because they are back and she is lowkey scared of Ian] Jimmy: Dunno about that, doing my head in already, her Janis: n'awh Janis: shut up you 💘 it Jimmy: sounds and feels right fake Janis: then you're used to it Jimmy: you coming out or what? Janis: you reckon that's how Romeo got invited up the balcony mate Jimmy: no hot chocolate included in my invite, what more to do you want, Jules? Jimmy: 🌹? Janis: yeah Janis: love 💀 things Jimmy: chuck me off the balcony then Janis: don't tease me, baby Jimmy: I mean it Janis: where do you wanna meet Jimmy: where are you? Janis: still at my grandparents so Jimmy: Alright, hang on Janis: where do you wanna go Jimmy: where do you? Janis: I don't care Jimmy: it don't matter Janis: yeah Janis: it really don't Jimmy: just don't let Libi see us Janis: I'll come out Janis: she's not taking over again tah Jimmy: I'll warm you up Janis: I'm not scared, remember Jimmy: yeah Janis: but you can Jimmy: if I don't I know what will do Janis: scare me? Jimmy: 🌡 Janis: bighead 😏 Janis: not not true though Jimmy: you and your one track 🧠 sweetheart Janis: Bill ain't invited Janis: don't need to pretend Jimmy: Oi, I've got a 🎁 for you and it ain't just 🍆🎀 Janis: what you done that for Janis: not christmas no more Jimmy: 🎅's for life Jimmy: so's pissing off Ian Janis: oh, go ahead 🍾 Jimmy: [show up boy because she's not far and hand over what you've stolen from Ian's replenished stash and I'm gonna say one of the bottles has a post it stuck to it with today's doodle which is like something to do with them stargazing obvs] Janis: [take the bottle and stick the post it on his head whilst you take a swig 'did he find his car or what' 'cos we left it somewhere then dipped so] Jimmy: [stick it on her back like excuse you it's for you when you take the bottle to take your own swig and then nearly choke cos you're loling because he hasn't because I see no reason why he would have considering where they left it and he knows nothing about Janis or where she lives] Janis: [stick it on the back of your phone or something to keep it safe, shaking our head and smirking because it's funny but also 'what's your long term plan?'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'depends' like it's so casual and we don't think about how much we hate Ian constantly lol] Janis: ['yeah, depends if he takes it to the police' kicking a stone as we walk 'we'd both be seen in it on CCTV' shrugs 'you probably want to return it or make sure someone worse takes it now'] Jimmy: ['he's not that kind of dickhead' because he isn't lbr 'he can have it back before he's in work again, don't need him hanging about having a longer holiday'] Janis: [nods like good 'glad you have a plan' and a look like NEVER had one of them before lollol] Jimmy: [a look like are you because we know we're all thinking about if this plan works and he has to leave] Janis: [shrugging it off 'not getting arrested for you' and quickening our step so we're a beat ahead] Jimmy: [💔 mime before she gets ahead of us and lighting a 🚬 when she is] Janis: ['bit rude' when you're not offered one immediately] Jimmy: [pull her back a step like it was rude of you to walk off and so you can light one for her in a saucy and intimate manner] Janis: [this 😒😣 truly I shan't elaborate] Jimmy: [a look like what even though we know] Janis: [taking the bottle back like that's what] Jimmy: [writes a ? in the condensation on the bottle because we like being annoying] Janis: [rubs it out and uses said condensation to draw a cross on his forehead] Jimmy: [that's cold and ticklish so we gotta retaliate by putting our forehead to hers OBVS even though we literally could have done a million other things] Janis: [the effort of NOT kissing him right now just to prove a point] Jimmy: [when you could just kiss her but you want her to do it so you're just doing the thing where you pull her closer to you even though you're already close af] Janis: [can't even LOOK at him you're that close, just this bottle between 'em] Jimmy: [you can lick your lips though boy and you shall] Janis: [bite your own like how dare you] Jimmy: [pull her hair like how dare YOU and also to bring her even closer] Janis: [noise between a gasp and you know what] Jimmy: [getting one back always] Janis: ['why'd you have to-' but interrupting ourself to kiss him finally] Jimmy: [have an intense makeout sesh for a bit] Janis: [idk where you are randomly in the street tis the season] Jimmy: [they blatantly are and I love that for you] Janis: [always the vibe, always the mood] Jimmy: [trying to think of somewhere you could go even though neither of you actually care] Janis: [oh the places you can't go when you're a teen or lowkey ever, just chillin'] Jimmy: [would love if there was somewhere you could go 'camping' for a little moment but idk] Janis: [there's always the park but yeah literally idk where else] Jimmy: [everywhere else would probably be a trek sadly] Janis: [maybe you can go cali house way, there's ample camping space there but probably not tonight luvs] Jimmy: [put a pin in that dream] Janis: [emotions too high rn] Jimmy: [rn and forever tbh] Janis: [we're not okay but also the best we've been in forever, very confusing lmao] Jimmy: [we know he's in exactly the same boat and that's why you are #fated] Janis: [what a time] Janis: [you should probably have to go properly home at some point tonight gal] Jimmy: [can't avoid it forever we haven't moved you in yet] Janis: [and you have been gone since boxing day so your mother would kinda exist hen] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and you don't hate her as much now she's a sassy single mum so] Janis: [yeah we're not thrilled by it all but we are gonna be running away soon so we'll give you a hot sec fam] Jimmy: [you can't be together always lads it's too dangerous because of all the shit we can't let you say] Janis: [plus Junie hasn't made an appearance this year so you all have to go a bit harder than normal soz] Jimmy: [that whole shitshow is very fresh] Janis: [mhmm, it's very recent lmao, and Caleb and honestly Edie, oh the mess, god sake shit nan why] Jimmy: [we're all struggling, not to mention we said that Carly died around this time of year so Ali really doesn't need this shit nan] Janis: [sad times all round honey] Jimmy: [remind me to decide when Jimothy's mum went missing in terms of that anniversary because I've not] Janis: [noted] Janis: [enjoy that bus gal] Janis: 👋 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🤖 Jimmy: if the driver ain't human, it ain't me you wanna be telling Janis: you with your facebook ma 👍 Janis: the driver is deffo human, can smell him from here Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: might be trying to get a lift to anywhere Janis: not quite the midnight train Jimmy: can't be bothered to wait that long Janis: let me know how anywhere is Jimmy: no need Jimmy: you can have the 👎 now Janis: oh, it is you Janis: 😒 Jimmy: who else were you after? Janis: checking you weren't 🤖 Janis: or 👵 Jimmy: 👴 Jimmy: soz to 💔 you Janis: why would that 💔 me Janis: my type, no Jimmy: you've had to piss off, for a start Janis: I'll survive Janis: have to pick up all the farmyard critters your brother ordered anyway Jimmy: tah for that Janis: you're welcome Janis: 🤠 Jimmy: 🤞 there's no room left for Ian Janis: maybe in the shed Janis: if he's lucky Jimmy: the trampoline's a good shout Janis: 🤔 might be too much fun Jimmy: with his back? Nah mate 🎻🎻 Janis: 😂 Janis: least he doesn't have the 👵 bladder Jimmy: he's welcome that we keep nicking his stash Janis: I appreciated my gift Janis: even if it weren't 🍆🎀 Jimmy: far as street corners go, didn't reckon that one were 💰💰 Janis: I weren't gonna tip you Jimmy: 👵👜💰 Janis: she was not gonna get involved Janis: watch, maybe Jimmy: that's what I said Jimmy: different street maybe Janis: well it's pretty rude you can't perform without a big audience Jimmy: never said that Janis: hmm Jimmy: weren't asking for a review either but alright Janis: not giving one don't worry Jimmy: it's the fans who'll be dead relieved Janis: that we don't hoe it up on street corners? Janis: as they weren't there with 📱s out, probably Jimmy: that and you don't reckon I'm always ready to perform Janis: I'd never say that Jimmy: you did Janis: not to the fans Jimmy: you're alright, not my own biggest one Janis: yeah right Janis: your head is the the only one to maybe rival mine in size Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: dunno which 👵 or 🤖 you're on about Janis: you aren't shy Jimmy: you got a scale for that an' all? Janis: 😶🤐😬🙃😲😁😩🤮 Janis: something like that Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Janis: I know you're 😁 Janis: but I'll 🤐 Jimmy: you Janis: you reckon? Jimmy: duh Janis: pretty nice Janis: could've gone 😲 Jimmy: still time for you to change my mind if you're that 💔 Janis: you like calling me scared, is all Janis: I'd go for 🙃 Janis: very dead in the eyes Jimmy: 👍's a bit strong Janis: yeah, it's an exclusive list Jimmy: obvs your 👀 are on it Janis: just my eyes? Jimmy: you reckon I never answer questions, what makes you think I'll do that one? Janis: miss 100% the shots you don't take, babe Janis: worth one, like Jimmy: I get it, you miss your coach and teammates Janis: coach is a bit much for the PE teacher who oversees all the girl's teams Janis: but whatever fantasy you're having, go off Jimmy: it's your 💭💕 Janis: fuck off is it Jimmy: SUCH a #lad I only know about 🥤 shots Janis: we're pretending you're a jock now Janis: okay, catching up Janis: 📸❌ Jimmy: Bill will be fuming if we start performing Grease Janis: such a snob Janis: loves the limelight way too much, that one Jimmy: you'll have to picture me in short shorts on your own time Janis: when I'm not thinking about my teammates, I'll give it a 💭💕 Jimmy: brb 💭 about the wrestling bit of the montage 🤼💕 Janis: pervert Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Oi, what happened to whatever fantasy I were having, crack on? Janis: I can't help not being a lesbian Janis: you'll have to keep it in your head, won't you Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: you're such a twat Jimmy: SO complimentary today, you Janis: yeah, warn me if you want to screenshot and I'll bother Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Whatever Janis: talk to you later Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: cool Jimmy: is it? Janis: 'course Janis: I've got nothing to say about this bus, you're chatting shit Jimmy: bit rude Janis: is it? Jimmy: how isn't it? Janis: Some things my one track mind ain't interested in Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: just stop taking the piss Jimmy: alright Janis: sorry, I'm not in the mood Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: just Janis: the lesbian shit Janis: I know you were joking but don't Jimmy: It's my homoerotic scene not yours, you're not Danny Zuko, soz girl Janis: alright, foreign exchange student Jimmy: I'm not into firing shots that'll actually wound you Jimmy: blanks are 👴 perks Janis: alright Janis: let you off then Jimmy: 🤞? Jimmy: no point you being fuming if I can't see how fit you look Janis: going home is shit Janis: know you already have Jimmy: I've not Janis: you've not? Jimmy: there's every point Ian being fuming and he won't be if I'm about to 🐕🏃 or babysit Janis: where are you gonna go Janis: for the forseeable Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: Come on Janis: I wouldn't have gone yet Janis: if you'd said Jimmy: that'll be why I didn't Janis: you're going to be bored Janis: and cold Jimmy: I'm northern Janis: now I seem like a total dick, right Jimmy: you went 'cause you had to Janis: least all the pubs are open Jimmy: 🍻 Jimmy: I'll find some 👴 mates Janis: yeah Janis: you will, right Janis: or go church, ALWAYS open, you know Jimmy: Jesus IS my BFF Janis: exactly Janis: keep you warm Jimmy: bit of 🙏'll do that Janis: ah, the homoeroticism strikes again Jimmy: nowt warmer than hell fire, babe Janis: I'll see you there still Janis: loads of ways to get in Jimmy: alright, but I only wanna see you if you recreate your angel outfit Janis: 😈 is a fallen angel Janis: he'll allow it Jimmy: chuffed to bits to know he'll be a fan Jimmy: loads of ours won't make it down Janis: they lack the imagination Janis: 💔 Jimmy: what they lack would be a massive list Jimmy: I'd bother telling you what else I like before I did them bulletpoints Janis: 🥧🍺🥔👀 Janis: I can keep up Jimmy: ain't you who's illiterate Janis: welcome for the pictures Janis: you can give me one more, for being nice Jimmy: 🚬 Janis: copout but fine Janis: add it to the list Jimmy: you never said it had to be one you didn't know Janis: didn't say it was a cheat Janis: just a bit...lazy? rude? idk Jimmy: I dunno what emoji I would do for what you smell like without making it weird 1. 👃? 2. 🐽? Janis: can't believe the emoji library has let you down like this Janis: 🐽 is cuter, less creepy, anyway Jimmy: there you go then Janis: I'll add it to the list Janis: I could just use 🚬 for you, that's what you smell like Jimmy: can't say I don't do owt to give you an easier go of it Janis: bit of a stretch to blame/gift your addiction to me but yeah Jimmy: but more romantic Janis: that is what's important here Janis: what do I smell like, now I'm worried Janis: at least you like it Jimmy: if I could narrow it down I'd have done Jimmy: you're not a vape Janis: nicest thing you've ever said to me? 🤔 Janis: 😍 🥰 😘 Jimmy: 😂 Janis: you really are great at this romance shit Jimmy: tah for not being 🍭🍨🍦🧁🍰🎂 it means loads to me an' all Janis: wouldn't be able to live with myself, tbh Jimmy: wouldn't be able to die with you Janis: 😷😷😷 Janis: ruin the ending, 👻 FUMING Jimmy: I'll tell him to take it up with 🚬 for only fucking your sense of taste Janis: there goes that sponsorship Jimmy: *🤐 Janis: I was doing great work saying how fit of a smell it was Janis: ffs Jimmy: Where? Janis: I put it on my list, duh Jimmy: said you could not that you did Janis: there you go then Jimmy: say it then Janis: I like the way you smell too Janis: and there should be a less creepy way to say it, you're right Jimmy: 🗨 can still stay on the list, not that you've even remembered it Janis: I've not forgotten it Janis: just doubt you like it as much as 🥔 for example Jimmy: what's it that I'm doing now? Jimmy: bit rude to doubt me Janis: I'm not a good conversationalist, not something I've got an ego about Jimmy: it's my list, dickhead, not yours Janis: but you're 🗨 about 🗨 to me Jimmy: and I'm 🗨  I rate it Jimmy: you don't get a say in what I like, we're not 👰💍🤵 Janis: I just don't believe you Janis: but that don't matter Jimmy: why? Janis: s'your list, like you said Jimmy: why don't you believe me? Janis: 'cos I never know what to say, I told you Jimmy: so you manage to say the right things without knowing Jimmy: that's 🏆 Janis: only when they've been written for me Jimmy: it were you who said she's a more boring version of you Jimmy: you know that's not when I mean Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: I like talking to you, I said it ages ago and I'm still going on about it now so there's something in that Jimmy: 💀💀💀🐴 Janis: alright, alright Janis: I'll believe you mean it Jimmy: that's 3 things about you you've had off the list, so I will shut up now, like Janis: I'm not giving your 2 IOUs Janis: not fair Jimmy: so just tell me now Janis: I'm 💭 Jimmy: don't hurt yourself Jimmy: I get it's WELL difficult Janis: Shut up Janis: I don't want you accusing me of copying you, is all Janis: I like your voice, that's different from 🗨 Jimmy: 🥇🎤 me Jimmy: goes without 🗨 the accent is an' all Janis: I'm not 🤤 'cos you're English Janis: make me sound like them Janis: but Janis: I like not loads of other cunts have heard it Jimmy: none of 'em have, my customer service voice isn't how I 🗨  or any other dickhead really does Janis: ✨ so special, me Jimmy: my sister and Ian don't wanna talk to me and our kid can't with 🗨 so you're basically it Jimmy: when Libi ain't shouting over you Jimmy: but don't let your head get too massive, can't have you stuck on that 🚍 Janis: 🎈📌 Janis: promise Jimmy: I'd have to swap uniforms and 🚒🪓 you out Jimmy: what a ball ache Janis: more cliche too Janis: no one actually wants to fuck the police Janis: gotta keep it niche Jimmy: go on then, is that your last ✔? Janis: that's only 2, I'm not adding your real/fake persona, soz 👮 Janis: alright, as you went 👀 I'll go 💋 Jimmy: fuming that you'd make me wanna kiss YOU when giving ME a compliment but alright Janis: we're both well kissable, that's fair to say Janis: ask the fans Jimmy: shh I'm 💭 and I don't want any of them twats popping up Janis: 😶 Janis: oops, defeats the point a bit Jimmy: you're alright, I control the 🔊 in my head, I'll put you on proper loud Janis: I'd add that to my list but then you'd owe me Janis: not very 😇 Jimmy: you'll have to be 😈 Janis: your 🔊 then Jimmy: for a start Janis: I'm not going to put my own on my list Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: there can be crossover Jimmy: I already know you like the 🔊 I can get you to, so don't worry if 🚬 were a copout that is Janis: you can't claim eyes forever Janis: or I'll just list all the good stuff now and you'll be well fucked Jimmy: not that long of a 🚍 ride Janis: contrary to what you reckon Janis: not that hard to think up the shit I like Jimmy: do it then Jimmy: I'm not 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: you might float away Janis: if you're still out Jimmy: got nowt else on or anywhere else to be Jimmy: 🎈 sounds decent enough Janis: 🤡 Jimmy: Dunno if I'm chuffed or gutted you didn't go for 🐘 Janis: trust you Jimmy: well you being a better 🤹 ain't going on the list Jimmy: fuming Janis: you're still good with your hands Janis: just different way Janis: 🖕✌️🤟 Jimmy: I Jimmy: wish you were here sounds like we're still at the 🏖 and I'm 🖋 a postcard but Janis: you can draw me one Janis: wish I had something to do that weren't wistfully staring out of windows but Jimmy: 👴 flirting Janis: they are pretty saucy, you know Jimmy: never heard anyone use saucy since before I ⚰👻 so tah for that, Judith Jimmy: racy is another one I miss 👴💔 Jimmy: #thegoodoldcourtingdays Janis: 🏹 to please Janis: and I know my audience Jimmy: 🎯 Janis: 💘 Jimmy: you had me at getting your MASSIVE ankle out Janis: oi, my ankle is perfectly normal now, don't try and trick me into sending you such a scandalous picture Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: proof's in the 📷 you set yourself up for that Janis: 😱 but my reputation! Jimmy: 🦶 size matters, my dear Janis: [obviously sends a picture with all sorts of pisstakey emojis and bants] Janis: dainty, I think you'll find Jimmy: [obviously sends a 😍 af selfie back which isn't even that pisstakey because we are feeling that rn and always] Janis: You're indecent Jimmy: can be if you like Jimmy: there's nobody else at the park Janis: how long do you want my list to be Jimmy: how long is it now? Janis: embarrassingly long Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: needs to be so long you're past caring about 😳 Janis: what will I do when you fuck of 🎈 Jimmy: come with Janis: alright Janis: we'll work on your list some more and see Jimmy: alright Janis: your ❌🍆s to give thing makes the list easy though Janis: just FYI Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: you probably wanna avoid being that guy at the park though Janis: if I'm there, different vibe Jimmy: you heard there's no 👀 or 👂 Jimmy: you'd have to be the one reporting me Janis: I need you with me too bad to do that Janis: I don't need bars between us as well as distance, like Janis: even Bill didn't go there Jimmy: The antlers are long gone, even if the 🎵's live on in my 🧠 Jimmy: no reindeer games that involve a jailbreak, I promise Janis: Shame Janis: how are you going to top your festive #lewks? Jimmy: 🤔🤔 Jimmy: nowt but full body glitter? Janis: 😏 Janis: sounds itchy Jimmy: 💀👑 not have a pool? 💔🎻🎻 Jimmy: SUCH a letdown Janis: 💡 Janis: have to ask Janis: clog the filters right up Jimmy: hot tub'll do IF IT HAS TO but it don't have the #drama Bill's after Janis: she's definitely got one of them Janis: sti soup that it is 🤢 Jimmy: really painted a picture for me there Jimmy: might just leave the ✨ on so she knows where I've been Janis: imagine how many secretaries have been disappointed in there Janis: not to mention the lads not quite swallowed whole Janis: not going to be unnoticed, I guess Janis: shine on Jimmy: Dunno if I wanna 💭 Jimmy: more tragic than owt Bill's ever written Janis: #bonerkiller Janis: she's 💔🎻🎻 daddy could ever be anything less than 💯 as well Jimmy: 🤞 he sends her a postcard, can't wait to nick that off the fridge Janis: so hot when you're mean Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: not even started yet, baby Jimmy: didn't reckon on being chuffed to bits for her party but Janis: I know Janis: should thank us Janis: no one has ever been this buzzing Jimmy: except those lads when they realised they'd FINALLY 💀💀💀 Janis: you're special, babe Janis: not everyone likes it like you Jimmy: don't put that on your list Jimmy: makes me sound like a twat Janis: if I did it'd make me sound like a psychopath so Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: least we ain't made a list of the other dickheads we want to die Jimmy: length of it would be a nightmare Janis: and we're looking for less attention, not more Janis: school therapist can do one if she wants to chat Jimmy: bit rude she ain't introduced herself to me, been here ages struggling with this bloody paddy language barrier Janis: how dare she not want to start an inappropriate relationship with you Janis: Lucas doing all the heavy lifting for her 😤 Jimmy: am I losing my new boy ✨ or what? 😱 Janis: her cardigan collection means she's either celibate or a massive lesbian so Janis: you're still so ✨ I SWEAR Jimmy: Why not both? #dontlimityourselflove Jimmy: OH THANK GOD Janis: read that as #doityourselflove so, yeah Janis: must be what she's up to in her office, bless Jimmy: Be Lucas in detention an' all Jimmy: will have spent the hol practicing with them new ties so he's ready to go Janis: you better be here Janis: or my trauma is on your hands Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: plays right into the hands of that gay therapist Jimmy: you don't know it weren't her spreading those rumours Janis: make sense Janis: did turn her down last time Janis: doubt she works commission for every fucked up kid she 'helps' Jimmy: I'll be here to save you, Joanne Janis: Ian don't move fast Janis: I've noticed Jimmy: he's got the �� and 👶s to bring him 🍺🥧🥔 when there's no Sharon, no need to move Janis: so what's your next step Jimmy: body in the boot when I bring the car back? Janis: his or john/jane doe Jimmy: Sharons obvs Janis: duh Janis: we're framing him Janis: okay, where's she hang out Jimmy: depends Janis: when she ain't photocopying things Jimmy: she's always photocopying her tits, full time job, that Jimmy: what it depends on is which Sharon you mean Jimmy: but probably find any of them in the hair dye aisle Janis: all of 'em at once Janis: like confused blonde gazelles Janis: *blonde, with bad roots and tell-tell greys 😱 Janis: have to stack 'em up Jimmy: 😂 Janis: not a list, technically Janis: Sharon x ??? Jimmy: be weird seeing their real names in all the papers Janis: for your dad too Janis: can pin them on his cell wall Jimmy: Dunno what he calls 'em Jimmy: @ him Janis: I'm not sure I need to 💭 Jimmy: 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: bit late for the christmas card Jimmy: crack on drafting your new year's text Janis: Dear future father in law Janis: terrified Jimmy: *daddy in law Janis: 😂 Janis: even better Jimmy: do they not make new years cards? 💔 missing something if it's not 🖋🩸 Janis: you send the text before the rush hun Jimmy: oh tah, I'll make sure our kid gets on the tin can 📞 proper early Janis: yeah, little socialite will be well busy Jimmy: got a wedding to plan if nowt else Janis: don't tell him it's her 4th Jimmy: he'd never stop 😭😭 Jimmy: I'll 📞 him now, let Ian sort that Janis: nursery gets wild, what can she say Jimmy: gutted she can't come to the party 💀👑'd never survive her review Janis: 💔 Janis: have to arrange a play date Janis: 💀👑 n #2'd keel over 🤞 Jimmy: I'll stick in it the group chat Janis: make sure you make it clear there'll be kids there Janis: don't want them to die of excitement before we can do it ourselves Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not playing with them Janis: can't make me Jimmy: could but I won't Jimmy: you're my best mate, they ain't having you Janis: 😳 Janis: can I put that on the list Jimmy: do you want to? Janis: yeah Jimmy: so there's your answer Janis: what emoji means BFFs Jimmy: 🤝? 🤗? Janis: 🤝 Janis: I don't know what that other fucker is doing Jimmy: looks like when dickheads mime they're being kissed, do you know what I mean? Janis: well, we aren't THOSE kind of friends Jimmy: what sort are we? Janis: strictly 🤝 professional Janis: don't get any ideas Janis: so friendzoned Jimmy: alright Janis: 😂 Janis: is it? Jimmy: have to be now you've said, won't it? Janis: not necessarily Janis: what kind of friends do you think we are? Jimmy: I weren't planning to stick a post it on your head Janis: might help you remember my name Jimmy: I know your name, Juliet Jimmy: dunno what you're on about Janis: mhmm Janis: my mistake Jimmy: not as thick as I look, remember Janis: I know Janis: mates, remember Jimmy: 🥇🤝 Janis: ✨ Jimmy: you gonna wear them for the party an' all? Janis: couple outfit!!1 Janis: I don't know Janis: it's gonna be all LBDs and sparkles so Janis: got to do better Jimmy: question is, shopping trip or crafting session? Janis: I've had enough crafting for one holiday Jimmy: thought you were gonna say one life Janis: and 😢 you like that? Janis: not very nice Jimmy: being nice I were about to offer to take you 🛍  after work Janis: yeah? Janis: 😇 boy Jimmy: never said I'd 💰 for owt Jimmy: steady on Janis: duh Janis: don't need money Jimmy: 😈 then Janis: we can pretend Janis: you will be sick of using your customer service 🔊😁 Jimmy: already am Janis: I'll come in a bit early Janis: you can talk to me properly Jimmy: you're being too nice now Janis: that a no? Jimmy: it's a what do you want? Janis: 😈 Jimmy: go on Janis: tell me when you're off and you'll see if I turn up early or on time Jimmy: [a time] Janis: sorted Jimmy: what about about now? Janis: what could I possibly do that was 😈 now Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: you're right, no chance of topping the 🦶📷 Janis: that kind of shameless reverse psychology will always work Janis: hold on Jimmy: don't need to be a school therapist Janis: bringing her up ain't gonna get you anything 🔥 Jimmy: if you can't give me owt 🔥 when you're under it from any bollocks going, what kind of muse are you? 💔 Janis: you get what you give, dickhead Jimmy: [gives her something 🔥🔥 obvs] Janis: [more risque pic back than last time, idk the scale but one up from whatever we did before] Jimmy: alright, I take back what I said Janis: you better Jimmy: ❌ Janis: 👍 Jimmy: should've said you were so 🏆 I'd have offered to lend you my 📷 before the killing spree Janis: I prefer when you take them Jimmy: that going on the list? Janis: I don't know if I'm that comfortable with the spotlight Janis: but you make me look alright Jimmy: nowt to do with me Jimmy: how you look Janis: nah, but I don't immediately wanna hide or flip you off so Janis: take it Jimmy: gutted 🖕💕 Janis: [pic of] Janis: anything for you, dearest Jimmy: 😍😍😍😍 Jimmy: there she is Janis: not been mugged by some random slag Jimmy: bit awkward I were so into it if you were Janis: yeah, she'll be fuming if she ever finds out Jimmy: our secret Janis: fuck off Janis: supposed to say I could never get mugged 'cos I'm so 💪 Jimmy: I dunno how many fake muggers there were, mate Janis: don't matter Janis: GOD Jimmy: were he there an' all? bit rude of him not to help you out Jimmy: such a good catholic lass Janis: he helps those whole help themselves Janis: and you might be friends now but known me longer so he'll definitely let me smack you Jimmy: wouldn't stop you myself, how could I when you're THAT 💪🏆🥇 Janis: 😒 Janis: shush Jimmy: walking wounded, me Jimmy: about to turn into a ⛄ Janis: stop it Janis: focus on finding a decent pub Jimmy: without you as my sat nav? Janis: why'd you let me go dickhead Janis: I'm mad Jimmy: why'd you have to? Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: they'd all survive Janis: I don't care Jimmy: I'll live Janis: yeah Jimmy: don't be pissed off at me Jimmy: 🤗🤗🤗 Janis: do what you like, mate Jimmy: *🥺🥺🥺 Janis: you're so annoying, you know Jimmy: I'll go back when you have, it's 🥇🤝 of me or some bollocks Janis: don't go back 'til you want to Janis: just do something that ain't freezing to death, tah Janis: I get why you don't wanna be there Jimmy: never ain't an option Jimmy: and the park's nice, loads of 🏆💭 Janis: okay Janis: that's true Janis: what you can remember Jimmy: that you offering to fill in the gaps or what? Janis: I don't know what you and don't 💭 Jimmy: could just tell me what you do, for a start Janis: could do Jimmy: so? Janis: we first went there after we ruined that bitch's shit party, yeah Jimmy: with half the other dickheads who left Jimmy: for a bit Janis: right, but no one's got any stamina so then it was just us Jimmy: feels like ages ago Jimmy: but all our 🎨's still here Janis: I remember that Janis: and it pissed it down, like school trip Janis: weird how it wasn't long ago at all, actually Jimmy: 🚫🌨 Janis: not festive but Jimmy: you were 🥶🥶 any road, I remember that Jimmy: had to chuck you a jacket Janis: you insisted, I remember Janis: as per Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: don't think you do 💭 Janis: was one of the many other lads I take there, was it? Jimmy: or all them sonnets Bill's got you bothering with Janis: if that's as far as your 💭 goes Jimmy: if that's as far as my memory goes, what? Janis: you don't remember as much as I do Jimmy: never said it were Janis: go on then Jimmy: I said sorry for being 😒 and having my own personal 🌧 over my head the way I would if you were really pissed off with me now Janis: what a nightmare Janis: making you say sorry all the time Jimmy: *not enough of the time Janis: not the kind of mate I'm trying to be Jimmy: why not? Janis: bit naggy Janis: bit more stepmum energy, that Jimmy: that weren't your reaction how I remember it Jimmy: might just be that the Sharons have done a shit job at giving out the right #energy Janis: I know it weren't Janis: weren't that drunk that night, if at all Jimmy: bit busy sorting that lass out for trying to make you look a twat Janis: n trying to hop on your dick, yeah Jimmy: that's every lass Janis: no need to flex, I've heard, like Jimmy: no need to 1. make it about me when it were about you 2. call me a lightweight Janis: 1. everything is about me, far as you're concerned baby 💕 2. clearly not as your 🧠 so clear Jimmy: clearly were saying you dunno what I do or don't remember a bit ago when you reckon you barely drank owt Janis: maybe you've got a shit memory Janis: not gonna assume nothing Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what? Janis: you're being irritating again Janis: what's your point? Jimmy: how am I? Janis: I don't know, just being pedantic and saying shit you know I'm not saying Jimmy: bollocks Janis: this is what I mean Janis: what's wrong, just come out with it Jimmy: nowt's wrong with me, I dunno what you mean Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: rewind then Janis: before you were using emojis solely to chat Jimmy: before we met's a bit far, Judith Janis: well they ain't my idea Janis: 💃💅🛍😘☕🍸💖 Janis: #inspo Jimmy: I get it, you want full verses Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [writes her a decent poem cos just that bitch] Janis: where'd you steal that from Janis: I can't find it on google Jimmy: you won't Jimmy: it's from my 🧠 Janis: just now? Jimmy: sound more surprised, dickhead Jimmy: you chucked me loads of #inspo Janis: I am, sorry, like Janis: how do you do that Jimmy: what? Janis: say such Janis: 🤯 things Jimmy: just pissing about, me Janis: it's a skill Janis: you could use it for evil Janis: if you wanted Jimmy: have used it for 💰 Jimmy: at my school before Janis: yeah? Janis: 👏 Jimmy: no dickhead's gone above 🥔 prints Jimmy: had to do something to make it less grim Janis: you and your 🎨 temperament Janis: should do it here Janis: 💰s a 💰 Jimmy: massive language barrier Jimmy: don't 🗨 paddy Janis: gutted Janis: I'd help but Janis: need emotions and shit for that Jimmy: to proofread? Janis: yeah Janis: ❓❗ me Jimmy: nowt but going over it with a green 🖋 is it? Janis: depends how 💕 these notes are gonna be Jimmy: depends how 💰 they are Janis: so you'll do homework as well, sick notes? Jimmy: homework's a bit far Jimmy: unless it's about Bill obvs Janis: obvs Janis: you should do it Janis: you piss it out easy, evidenced loads of times Jimmy: know how to piss out a website and ads an' all, tah sir Jimmy: it's like he knew Janis: what a babe Janis: guardian 😇 Janis: don't put it on 💀👑 site, be a dead giveaway Jimmy: she'd have me doing 💌 for daddy Jimmy: talk about piss easy 😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: xoxo 👻 boy Janis: keep it professional, babe Janis: she'll never pay if you sound as thirsty as you do Jimmy: she'd never pay Janis: 😏 cold dead hands Jimmy: would need your 💪 Janis: I'd LOVE to fuck her up Jimmy: not just her, any twat who's 💰 shy Janis: you reckon I'll be 😢? Jimmy: *😁 Janis: exactly Janis: ☁team Jimmy: SUCH a ☀ you Jimmy: 💔 you're not here Janis: how cold are you? Jimmy: how northern am I? Janis: stubborn* Janis: pretty damn stubborn Jimmy: *💪 Jimmy: VERY is right Janis: I won't disagree Janis: everyone's 👀 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: it's rude Jimmy: why? Janis: I can't look at you ALL the time Jimmy: can if you want Janis: can't right now Jimmy: 📷 Janis: but then the second problem becomes the first Jimmy: ? Janis: can't touch you Jimmy: you've got your perfect 💭 recall from when you did Janis: have to do Jimmy: I'll 🏃 Jimmy: race the 🚍 back Janis: very classics Janis: bit after Bill's time but he's down Jimmy: are you? Janis: you know I miss you Jimmy: not what I asked Janis: it'd keep you warm Jimmy: not for long if your mum won't have me through the door Janis: she's got loads of kids, won't notice one more Janis: you can come, if you wanna Jimmy: alright Janis: I want you too Jimmy: then I'll be there in a bit Jimmy: he'll be chuffed to have his car again Janis: yeah Janis: wanna take it for one last ride though Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I know Janis: redundant Jimmy: I get it, you just wanna hear it from me Janis: naturally Jimmy: it's a yeah, never not a yeah to you Janis: 💀 me Jimmy: as promised Janis: s'all I want Jimmy: so slowly, so painfully Janis: shit Jimmy: if you can't feel the whole 🔪 we'll just have another go Janis: death by a thousand cuts might seem a bit ambitious Janis: but I've got trust in you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: you are Jimmy: you Janis: but you Jimmy: you heard me Jimmy: you're Janis: you're more Janis: whatever you were going to say Jimmy: that's just you Jimmy: more than I can 🗨 Janis: but you make me feel so Jimmy: I should be fuming that you make me feel owt but there's no room for bollocks like that Janis: yeah Janis: like, I should care, be careful Janis: but I don't and I can't Jimmy: fuck it Jimmy: nowt matters but this Janis: fuck it Janis: if you're alright with it, so am I Jimmy: you're all I want Janis: then I'm yours Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I've got no words for what that felt like Janis: but 👍 not 👎 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: like the twist of a 🔪 Jimmy: 🥇👍 Janis: good Janis: you're welcome Jimmy: I'll never get there if you keep being so Janis: It's hard being quiet when there's so much I could say to make you Janis: but I will Jimmy: it's hard being quiet Janis: you don't have to be, do you? Jimmy: not the one on a packed 🚍 but Janis: I've got loads of practice Jimmy: I'm not putting it on my list but take your 🏆 Janis: you don't have to Janis: when we get to mine, there's places we can be as loud as we want Jimmy: okay Janis: warm, comfortable places Janis: don't worry Jimmy: Oi Janis: I know, you're VERY 💪 and even more Northern Janis: but I want you to feel comfortable before I kill you Jimmy: don't be making out that owt worries me but how fucking far into the middle of nowt you live Janis: I know, it's very inconvenient Janis: miss his car, like Jimmy: why didn't I just come with you? fuck's sake Janis: same reasons I didn't stay with you Jimmy: 🥇💡 us Janis: Don't tell the fans Janis: so disappointed Jimmy: far as they know we're never apart Janis: if only, babes Jimmy: 💭🥺 Janis: I am more bored Janis: when you aren't about Jimmy: that it? Jimmy: the full scale of your feelings Janis: shh Jimmy: you're less 😳 when I'm not about Jimmy: greatest 💔 this town's ever had to go through Janis: if anyone wants to disagree I'll 🥺 at them Jimmy: What kind of dickhead would dare? It's the sort of 🎨 that ain't subjective, soz Janis: you'll have to let 'em know Jimmy: 📢 OI Janis: 😂 just like that Jimmy: know what I'm doing, me Janis: you don't need to tell me Janis: but I am going to need you to show me again, like right fucking now please Jimmy: seeing as you were so polite about it, my dear Jimmy: what can I do for you right fucking now? Janis: just Janis: tell me you feel it too Janis: how much you wish I was there, or you was here Jimmy: I feel it Jimmy: the fans aren't the only dickheads 🤞 we were together all the time Janis: not my fault everyone else is shit Jimmy: 🤏 your fault you're not but Janis: you're not even meant to be here Jimmy: 👻 barely am, it's alright Janis: no it's not Janis: but I don't care Jimmy: it is, we can just Janis: just Jimmy: stick together Janis: yeah Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Janis: makes sense Jimmy: good Jimmy: how much I like having you about is too much of a copout for the list Janis: when you're gone Janis: be more of a test Janis: always about now, like Jimmy: we're going together so ⚰ budge up dickhead Janis: shared enough single beds with you to manage Jimmy: might wanna stretch out a bit for the afterlife Janis: double plot?! 😱🥴 Janis: can only dream Jimmy: 👑 Janis: chuck ourselves off the same bridge, loads of room to swim about Jimmy: 🧜🏽 Janis: know I beat you so bad boxing day but it's okay Janis: can't drown once you're 💀 Jimmy: bollocks did you Jimmy: could've broken all my ribs and I'd still 🏆 Janis: the fact you've brought up your handicap speaks 🔊 Jimmy: of how 💪🥇 I am Janis: 👌 Jimmy: you're done being nice now, I get it Jimmy: 🦈 Janis: you don't like it when I'm nice really Jimmy: don't I? Janis: nah Janis: do you? Jimmy: you reckon you know my ✔ Jimmy: no need to answer Janis: if you wanna be my mate you clearly don't ✔ nice very highly Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: you were talking bollocks when going on about how nice you ALWAYS are to me Janis: by my standards Janis: too nice Janis: but by everyone else's, not winning no 😇🏆 Jimmy: 1. I give out the 🏆 2. no fucker else has any standards around here Janis: what's your verdict then Jimmy: on how nice you are or how much I rate it? Janis: both Jimmy: what's my verdict on you asking questions you know the answer to, more like Janis: 😳 you Jimmy: you Janis: tell me how nice I am, go on 😏 Jimmy: make me Janis: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: it don't work without your 👀 Janis: [🥺 selfie] Jimmy: rude Janis: no, I'm nice Jimmy: it'd be nice if you were here and I could just Janis: what would you do Jimmy: you know what Jimmy: I'm nice Janis: yeah Janis: I can say it Jimmy: might do but you can't take a compliment Janis: psh Jimmy: alright so if I 🗨 nobody's ever been this nice to me, you won't be 😳😳? Janis: maybe a 🤏 but you don't need to know Jimmy: I want to though Jimmy: your 😳 is high on my list Janis: because it makes me look so 🤓 Jimmy: it makes us even Janis: [adorable nerdiness] Jimmy: might not remember when I got on the 🚗 to tell you the story of being a twat but I do and when it happened an' all Jimmy: 😳 before it were 😎 me Jimmy: it's just something you can do, Janet 🏆👏🌹 Jimmy: to be fuming about but I'm not Janis: Then you won't be mad that I do remember Jimmy: 'course you do, you were 🙀 I were gonna fall off Janis: 'scuse me for not wanting to watch you get injured when I could have the pleasure of doing it myself Janis: not Lucas Jimmy: compared to him you're a saint Jimmy: but don't worry I won't let your shit nan know Janis: just not a watch in the cupboard type Janis: I wouldn't bring up the subject, she might assault you or something Jimmy: can't have that or any more time off work 🤐 Janis: 💔 Janis: the world needs it's caffeine and it's eyecandy Janis: can't be selfish like Jimmy: direct your 🎻🎻 @ my manager SO hard done by that I didn't do boxing day he's given me every shite shift going til we're in school Janis: what a prick Janis: what shifts will he be working, I wonder Jimmy: there you go with the questions you know the answers to, girl Jimmy: if it weren't a full time job pissing off Ian, what with him being so easy going and it taking ages to do his head in, I'd add him to the hit list an' all Janis: fair, did do that one for effect, babe Janis: they'll send him off to some over shithole and you'll have a new one in a month, s'what they do with managers, yeah Janis: not worth the 🕖 or 💪 Janis: other* Jimmy: 💔 it ain't what they do with Ian's role within his company Janis: a good sex pest is hard to come by Janis: keeping tight hold, like Jimmy: every other dickhead stopping at stealing 🖋s Jimmy: pisstake Janis: he must be good at whatever the fuck he's actually meant to be doing besides 👀🖐 Janis: try to be selective so we don't have no more famines n shit Jimmy: @iantaylor8 for the Q&A Janis: think I'm 😍 for accounts Janis: no tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're gonna have to offer me something more to pretend to be 😍 for your dad, soz Jimmy: I'm alright for you not fake dating him an' all Janis: good Janis: not seeing how that would EVER make him wanna leave anyway Janis: such a delight Jimmy: when you 💔 him duh Jimmy: but it's still a no tah Janis: think of some way before resorting to that Jimmy: I'd stay before that Janis: I appreciate it Jimmy: me an' all that you don't wanna fuck my dad Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: right Janis: you don't look that alike Jimmy: I'll take that compliment Janis: you can definitely have it Jimmy: that'll be the nicest thing you've ever said to me Jimmy: even if I were about forever Janis: bit sly to challenge me to compliment you loads Janis: 🥰 you Jimmy: 😏 Janis: he's clearly just pissed he's past it, and weren't as 😎 as you to begin with Jimmy: we're all 💔🎻😭 he gave his best years to Debbie when there's loads of Sharons cracking on with doing their roots as we 🗨 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: *😢 I know Janis: yet again, SUCH a shame my ma's a natural blonde Janis: been a widow for ages, give him some tips Jimmy: for her Jimmy: what a bloody catch she's missed out on there Janis: 💔🎻😭 all over again Janis: 'tis the season Jimmy: 🤞 they've taken the mistletoe down in his office Janis: can he hang on 'til NYE Janis: such a lad, it seems unlikely Jimmy: the things that Q&A would be full of if you'd only crack on, girl Janis: I'm naturally curious, don't be rude Jimmy: 💀💀💀😼 Janis: you saw all the fuckers Janis: just more siblings Jimmy: and I had to tell our kid all their names Janis: 😏 Janis: unlucky Jimmy: you gonna stop pissing about and get fluent or what 🤓? Janis: oi Janis: give me a break, it hasn't ACTUALLY been that long, remember Jimmy: I get it, I'm no Mr Lucas 😭😭😭 Janis: who is Janis: 🏆 lifetime achievement best teacher ever Janis: anyway, I like it when you talk, remember Janis: only so much your brother and me need to 🗨 about Jimmy: I were more thinking about you pulling your weight when him and Libi 🗨 but alright Janis: how long did it take to learn it Janis: actually Janis: obviously you didn't before 👶 Jimmy: no different from learning any other, how good's your spanish? Jimmy: it's about how much you bother, have to every day Janis: makes sense, not like it's optional Janis: and my Spanish is pretty shit, Lucas don't teach it 💔 Janis: it's like Portuguese but barely know any of that either, shit nan being predictably shit Jimmy: what about 🍀? Janis: little better Janis: did offer my services in good faith earlier Jimmy: to answer your Q, still get things wrong and he's been about and deaf for ages Jimmy: but it says fluent on the CV, nowt else matters Janis: 👌 Janis: long as you got the basics down, he ain't 💀 any time soon Janis: might try it with my cousin Janis: she don't speak Jimmy: bring her on the playdate long as Libi won't be 💔 Jimmy: our kid could have a teaching 🏆 an' all Janis: her ma probably won't have that Janis: not Libi stealing my phone to come up with the excuses there Jimmy: she the one from church? Janis: 💀 crew's oldest member, yeah Jimmy: next time there's a catholic occasion, we'll steal the kid Jimmy: can't really stop us, her Janis: 🦴 as a weapon? Jimmy: better bring the 🐕 in case Janis: 💡🥇 Janis: alright, I'm down Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: you off that fucking 🚍 yet or what? Janis: how far have you even got Jimmy: if it was real 💕 you'd have got off to 🏃 an' all Jimmy: have met me in the middle Janis: thank god it's fake Janis: don't need us both aimlessly 🏃 about Janis: but I'm basically back now, so I will keep a 👀 out Jimmy: have a 🥃 if you've got owt left from that 🎁 dunno where I am Janis: put your location on so I can santa-track you Janis: know what you and 🐑 are like, you'll get well off track and well distracted Jimmy: nowt to do with your 👀 OBVS Jimmy: [does put his location on] Jimmy: Where am I then? Janis: you can compliment me when you're nearer Janis: well done for being in the right county Janis: 🤔 okay, hang on Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: I'm gonna get your dad's car and come find you Janis: may as well Jimmy: that's how lost I am 😒 Janis: that bus takes long enough Janis: I wanna see you now Jimmy: alright Janis: you didn't fuck up that horrifically Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it's even more classics that you're lost Janis: very goals Janis: really should pick you up on horse but fuck that Jimmy: fake a 🐴 when we tweet it, be alright Janis: as long as you're not feeling let down Jimmy: NEVER Janis: good Janis: so ✨ you Jimmy: I just wanna see you an' all Janis: 👀 at me long as you like Jimmy: very subtle challenge Janis: yeah, 'cos that's all I want Jimmy: need an even longer lens to stalk you from the north Jimmy: make the most of my 😍 dickhead Janis: 😒 Jimmy: what? Janis: nothing 'cept someone just got off at my stop so I might be about to be murdered Jimmy: Oi, I ain't falling for that again Jimmy: you're too 💪🏆🥇 baby, weren't that what you wanted me to say about the mugging? Janis: ugh Janis: so tough being this tough Jimmy: whoever that dickhead is can't 💀💀💀 you Jimmy: not part of the plan Janis: I'll let 'em know you said so Jimmy: 📢 OI Jimmy: my victim, piss off Janis: **fake girlfriend Jimmy: *best mate I've ever had Janis: oi Jimmy: ? Janis: meant to be scaring off weirdos, not being soft Jimmy: just claiming you, Jessica, if you wanted to be pissed on, you should've said Janis: got to draw the line somewhere Jimmy: I'll chuck you a pen Jimmy: can stab that prick with it after Janis: 🧛👅🩸 Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: don't fill up on him Janis: come on Janis: I could never get enough of you Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: Baby Janis: I don't want anyone else Jimmy: control your 🩸 lust for a bit longer, tah very much Jimmy: you can have all mine Janis: you know you've got all of mine Jimmy: hurry up and come here Janis: I am, I swear Jimmy: on what? Janis: my 👀s? Jimmy: both of them? Jimmy: if I have to craft you an eye patch I might as well fucking sign up for Pinterest Jimmy: be that mum Janis: do you have a preference? Janis: bit weird Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: you do not Janis: you're taking the piss now Jimmy: am I? Jimmy: not telling you now, mate Janis: 😣 Jimmy: do you want me to have a favourite one? Janis: that's no sort of answer Jimmy: it's a question for you to answer, so go on Janis: I don't think you do Janis: but I wouldn't be mad if you did Jimmy: it's the one on my left Janis: I'm gonna have to stop to look Janis: and then look at yours when you get here Jimmy: no #hate to the other one Jimmy: it's just Janis: you're just Jimmy: I don't know how to explain Janis: you don't need to Janis: I get it Jimmy: might be able to get your head round it if you have a look Jimmy: no good with words, me Janis: it IS weird but I feel it too Janis: I've 👀 at you enough to have favourites and 👀 things that it feels Janis: 😳 to admit to noticing Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say you'd looked at yourself enough to have a favourite eye Janis: charming 😂 Jimmy: probably don't spread that about, babe Jimmy: I mean, I get it, if I were you'd I'd be in the mirror all the time an' all but Janis: you know what you look like Janis: #bigheadconfirmed Jimmy: I never said I don't look at myself loads in every shiny surface of the CG Jimmy: what else am I gonna 👀 @ the customers?! I'm alright for that Janis: don't blame you Janis: obvs Jimmy: so go on, you said you've got favs Janis: I am not giving you them all Janis: right now Jimmy: one for one Janis: fair enough Janis: your freckles Janis: the ones on your back, especially but all of them Jimmy: you should've said before now, I'd have chucked you a pen for them an' all Jimmy: be a bit rude of me to do it to yours Janis: I can use my hands Janis: not that I scratch with purpose or intent Jimmy: 🎨 Janis: I should 📸 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I won't get a weird close up of your eye or owt though Janis: do what you like Janis: just leave it off the feed if it ain't #goals Jimmy: whatever we do is #goals Janis: just too good Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: alright, I'm getting near, stay still now Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: though that does sound like you're 🙀🙀 of sudden movements Janis: just mean don't keep walking and walk right past me/into the headlights tah Jimmy: not how you wanna 💀💀💀 me Jimmy: I'll leave it out Janis: you'll be glad you did Jimmy: never been a letdown, you Janis: don't need to big me up until I prove it Jimmy: I'm only saying you have, not that you don't have to keep doing it Janis: have to? Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: [turn up] Janis: get in Jimmy: [does obvs but not before opening her car door and kissing her because simply must] Janis: [pulling him into the car on your side so you're both in the driver's seat now, having a moment] Jimmy: [fully support that wherever you are rn] Jimmy: [telling her he's missed her in between kisses when he's capable of forming words that don't just come out as sounds, we've probably had to have a few attempts at it lol] Janis: [she's not going to be any better so don't you worry boy, probably just keep saying 'I' and 'you' and not finishing any sentences here] Jimmy: [it's a mood and we all know it, like he's been drinking from Ian's stash but not enough that we can run away with ourselves, he's already said a lot of feelsy shit here, we see you and your fave eye sir] Janis: [we've said a lot without saying it in a way that seems serious af but we know honey we know] Jimmy: [not even doing it deliberately so it hurts more when she runs away, the feels are just naturally high and things be progressing] Janis: [mhmm, damn you shit nan, why you gotta ruin it] Jimmy: [she can't, you'll get back to this lads and beyond it] Janis: [that's true] Janis: [for now, stay in this car as long as you wanna, then go back to the cali gaff and live your best life some more] Jimmy: [soz fam that they can't bear to be separated] Janis: [its lowkey a good thing anyway, you can take the car to work/back to Ian, at least she's at home, like we all know you'll take that] Jimmy: [we all just want you to be happy hen] Janis: [though we are suspish/triggered by you Jimothy, we're not wilding yet Jimmy: [soz about that Jimothy, Liam really did you dirty] Janis: [oh lads, the fact we'll never really know the truth of that whole situ] Jimmy: [we really did something there, I love us] Janis: [do you think anyone would watch the tapes before Libi? 'cos like Ali would wanna but wouldn't but I could make a case that Ruster MIGHT, which would be drama] Jimmy: [oooh yeah good point, I do like the idea of that drama because I am rude] Janis: ['cos they could still come away from it thinking he was just a stalker or whatever we want] Janis: [but it would potentially give some closure before Libi is old enough to watch and understand 'cos they'd clearly love each other] Jimmy: [yeah agreed, I definitely think there's a lot of potential there with what they could take away from viewing all those vids] Janis: [okay, noted for later honeybuns] Janis: [is there anything we wanna vibe for tonight] Jimmy: [I think we've done a lot and this is probably getting long] Janis: [coolio hun]

[moonlight-chi77]

|| nct dream // Zhong Chenle // Chewing gum ||

Type: Fluff

Words: 1.361

Warnings: 'E-girl', exclusion

7am and you drew the pink blush on your cheeks and your nose, trying to not let it fall on your black in black Outfit, looking like the E-Girl you always wanted to. You know it scared the others but it was alright, you didn't even wanted anyone to know how your personality really was.

"Y/n breakfast!" your mother screamed friendly and you walked upstairs to the kitchen "Again?" she asked, tired of your strong make up and special outfits "I love you too Mom" you giggled as you sat down, waiting for your little brother and sister, which were twins and 4 years old now. "Good Morning my little sunshines" you smiled and patted both of their hands "Good Morning" they screamed full of life energy you didn't even had left.

The three of you started eating your breakfast before you stud up and packed your water bottle and placed it into your school bag, not eating anything in school but sometimes chewed a gum. "Bye Bye" you shouted, hearing your mom complaining as you closed the door laughing before walking to the train station and driving 20 minutes before getting in the bus for another 10 minutes and then taking the 5 minute walk to your school, you always liked the long way to your school even on the bad days.

"Morning" Seonghwa, your only true friend, said as you walked into the building "Hey, I have math, and you?" he shrugged his shoulders "Yeosang? What subject do we have now?" he asked his friend which always walked with you but never really talked "History" he mumbled and walked to Hongjoong and his other friends "Why does he always walks away? He really doesn't like me" you mumbled in return "Nah, he's just shy and you're intimidating" he laughed and walked away as well "Idiot" you said loudly, scaring some other kids causing you to roll your eyes and walk to class annoyed as always.

In class there were already some students, some annoying and some you actually would like to get close but as already noticed nobody liked you, nobody except Seonghwa who'll graduate soon and then you'll be completely alone. "May you sit down as well?" the teacher asked "May you shut up" you whispered, only a few classmates heard it but not the teacher, who only saw you walking to you place next to a random girl.

*Break*

You all were allowed to stay in all break, just how you did it all the time but the most would buy some food or drinks, the same did Chenle and his friends who came back just now, only like 10 people were in class, including them.

Chenle held some Chewing gums in his hand and everyone of them chewed one, you wanted one too, but as you searched in your bag you found nothing but an empty package "Can I have one?" you asked, kinda cold as you shore up your hands on his table looking directly in his eyes "Oh-ehm..here" he said and handed you the full package, you grabbed one as you rolled your eyes. "Thanks" were your words before you threw them to him, but he couldn't grab them so they hitted his face, making you look like a bully.

The few students looked at you kind of shocked even though they already thought that you were like that, of course you weren't but nobody believed that, no one but Seonghwa of course, who you text this situation. 'That's kinda funny lol' was his only response to that, you threw your phone into your bag making a loud noise before standing up and walking out of class, everyone looked scared as you walked next to them to the toilets.

You hated school, not people. That was everything. But everyone was so damn afraid that they wouldn't notice that, not even that you tried your best in everything. And this annoyed you even more than school, no one knew you but everyone hated you for nothing at all.

*Few days later*

Chenle and his friends were buying stuff in a near convince store once again and this time you were fully alone in class and had gums with you so you decided to lay one on his place, wanting to be friendly like you normally were.

His friends only came back when a few classmates already sat there, looking confused when they saw the gum on Chenle's place but he looked over to you, seeing your smile as he grabbed it and unpacked it. "Thanks" he mouthed for no one but you, his friends still were kinda confused but sat down on their places quickly as they saw you standing up "You kids really should stop being afraid over nothing" Chenle than said smiling at you, you laughed in return and laughed, making everyone shocked before you walked out of class to the restrooms.

*a few days later*

"Wait" Chenle screamed through the whole floor "Could you please at least try to be quiet?" you asked him with a friendly smile but he only shrugged his shoulders "Never tried it" he smiled before the both of you walked out "So we're friends now, or what?" you asked in a cold tone making him slightly scared "Yeah, I would like to know you better so I'm going home with you and stay there for a few hours" he said like it were normal. "You're unbelievable" you laughed before talking once again "But alright" you shrugged your shoulders "That really worked?" he asked kind of impressed "I mean I have no friends, excluding Seonghwa, so why should I be unfriendly? Also we're not in school anymore so my mood is pretty good" you smiled "You just hate school?" he asked shocked but you only nodded "Bruh I thought you wanted to kill everyone because you hate human beings" he laughed high pitched.

*after the long way home*

"I'm home Mom" you said loudly as you opened the door "Y/n" the twins screamed as they ran into your open arms "Hey my sunshines how was kindergarten today?" you asked them in a soft tone, still in the hug, they told you what they did before looking strangely to Chenle "That's a boy out of my class, don't be afraid he doesn't bite" you laughed so they hugged him while you got out of your shoes. "Mom? I'm in my room, a classmate is over, is that alright?" you asked as you kissed her forehead, standing on you tiptoes while she got down a little, making Chenle giggling "It's okay, I'm happy when you're not only with Seonghwa" she smiled making you roll your eyes "I'm not gonna stop meeting him" you showed her your tongue before dragging Chenle in your room "I'm gonna change" you said while getting things out of your closet "Just look around but don't open anything" you laughed before walking to the bathroom.

You came back with no make up and a soft pyjama, not caring what he would think about it but laughing as you saw him smiling widely at you.

"It's really late, I think he should stay here" you mom said at the dinner "Oh no, it's alright" he said immediately "Nah, it's better like that. I'll give you clothes of my older brother and we can talk for another 4 hours" you smiled at him, already having the feeling that you were best friends. "Okay" he gave in smiling at you too, even holding your hand under the table and not that you would ever say that out loud but your crush on him only grew bigger.

*Now*

You smiled as you thought about 'the old times' when you sat on Chenle's lap "Want one?" he asked as he held Chewing Gums in his hand "Of course" you smiled and took one, being happy that you now were best friends. Seonghwa already left the school so Chenle now were your only friend, his friends still tried to run away from you but you got the feeling that all of you will get close soon, so you were more than happy.

[hiyabradley]

“Let’s go back to my place!”

A/N: Saw these gifs on here, then it inspired me to write this imagine. (Not my gifs, creds to thevampsupdate) But this was also requested by @imcalledshannonxoxo

Masterlist|My Wattpad

Warnings? Mild language

Words: 1385

I was on a night out with the girls, we'd all had several rounds of drinks so we were all pretty drunk. Well they was, I wasn't, tipsy? Possibly. But I definitely wasn't drunk.

I looked over at the bar to see how busy it was. I then noticed a very attractive guy sitting on one of the stalls at the bar. He had brown curly hair and brown eyes, if we're putting it lightly he's just my type basically, but I wasn't gonna approach him.

"I'm just gonna go to the toilet!" I told the girls, I stood up then looked back across the bar to where he was sitting. I made my way to the toilet, his gaze followed mine.

******

I had been sat staring at this guy for the past five minutes when one of the girls broke me out of my daze.

"Y/N? Hello?" Brianne said, then waved her hand in front of my face. "Would you stop making eyes at that guy over there?"

"Huh? What?" I snapped out of my daze.

"You've been making eyes at that guy in the blue jacket for most of the night and don't tell me that you haven't cause it's so obvious! He's been making eyes at you as well!"

"No I have -"

"Just go talk to him Y/N!" She cut me off.

"No, I'm not doing that!" I spat.

"Why not? You're the only single one left out of our friendship group now, you deserve to have some fun!"

She was right, I was the only single one left out of our friendship group. They all had boyfriend's and one of them was engaged, but still I wasn't gonna go and talk to the guy.

"I'm not talking to him Brianne!" I told her.

"Just go talk to him, live a little!" She gave me a light push.

I looked over at him, I'm assuming he hadn't took his eyes off of me as he was still looking in my direction. I smiled at him. Was I really going to let a guy this attractive get away? Even if it was just for the night, I suppose it'd be fun.

"Okay fine, I'll go talk to him!" I stood up. "But if I regret this, this is all on you!"

"You're not gonna regret this, trust me! Now go!" Brianne smiled at me.

I made my way over to the where he was sitting at the bar, I ordered myself a drink so it didn't look that obvious that I come to talk to him.

"Um, excuse me, hi!" He spoke, with what sounded like a Birmingham accent.

I turned to look at him. Wow! It was like he was carved by the angels from above, he was perfect. He had the most flawless tanned skin ever, whatever skincare products he uses I need to know cause damn! He had the most prettiest of brown eyes I had ever seen, they had a slight sparkle to them whenever he smiled. He was way out of my league to say the least, but he was honestly the most beautiful man I had seen in my life.

"Oh, hello!" I finally replied to him.

"I couldn't help but notice you sitting over there with your friends!"

"Oh, did you now?" I said a bit more sarcastically than I intended to.

"Sorry, that probably sounded a tad creepy?" He looked away, I instantly felt so bad.

"It's okay, I'm sorry. I couldn't help but notice you either!"

"You did?"

"Yeah!"

We stayed talking to each other for a while, until Brianne came and interrupted us.

"I hate to interrupt but, Y/N we're going home now. You'll be okay here right? It seems like you've found yourself some company!" She looked between me and guy who I'd been speaking to who was called Brad.

"Yeah I should be! Have a safe journey home, text me when you get in!" I pulled her into a hug.

"I will do! Enjoy yourself!" She smiled at me and then left.

I then turned my full attention back to Brad. "Sorry about that!"

"It's okay!" He smiled. "Talking about going home, maybe we should go home?"

"What, like together?"

"Only if you want to?"

"Alright!"

"Let's go back to my place"

We made our way out of the club and went back to his.

******

The next morning I woke up, but I wasn't in my bedroom, I was in somebody else's. I slipped out of the covers to then realise I was naked.

"Shit!" I mumbled to myself and then began to scout the room for my clothes. Once I had found them I went in search of the bathroom to freshen up. It was quite risky walking around naked in a home that wasn't your own, especially when you had no idea where you was going.

Once I had freshened up and put my clothes back on, I made my way out of the bathroom to be met by a fully grown golden retriever.

"Oh my god!" I screamed as she jumped up at me and I instantly fell over. I wasn't used to massive dogs.

"Jesse! Get off her!" I heard a voice speak, I then looked up to see it was Brad. He helped me up. "Are you alright?"

I brushed myself off. "Um, yeah, I'm fine! It's probably best if I leave now though?"

"Um, no. Please don't go!"

"You want me to stay?"

"I want to speak to you about last night! It was -"

"It probably shouldn't of happened!" I cut him off.

"I was thinking -" he paused. "Wait what?"

"Me and you, it probably shouldn't of happened Brad!"

"What are you trying to say?... Wait, do you already have a boyfriend? Oh shit, you have a boyfriend don't you? Now you're feeling guilty about what we done!"

"I don't have a boyfriend!" I laughed.

"Then what is it?"

"It's nothing, I should get going!" I went to make my way down the stairs but he grabbed my wrist.

"Please just wait! Can you at least tell me why you think last night shouldn't of happened?" He looked at me pleadingly.

"You really wanna know?"

"Yes, just tell me Y/N!"

"Okay fine!" I began. "Well for starters you're like way, way, out of my league and secondly you probably just wanted to bring me back here, do what we did and then make me leave! I thought that maybe it'd be different as we were just generally talking!"

"You think I'm out of your league?" He placed his hand on my cheek and I nodded before he continued. "Don't be stupid, I'm not. Also if I was just gonna fuck you and then chuck you, don't you I would've chucked you by now?"

"I suppose so?"

"Exactly! I never intended on this being a one night stand!"

"What?" I looked at him confused. "Then what did you intend on it being?"

"Anything other than just a one night stand. Last night didn't go the way I expected it to, but you can't deny the fact that we didn't enjoy it, cause we did!"

"What do you mean last night didn't go the way you expected?"

"Honestly I just wanted to bring you back here, talk to you some more and get to know you better, but then that happened!"

"So you never wanted this to be just a one time thing?"

"No, but I'm assuming you did? That's probably why you know?"

"But you agreed to it!"

"Yeah, because I wanted to in the end, but like I've been saying, I didn't want this to be a one night stand. So please just stay?"

"So we can do what we did last night?"

"No Y/N! So I can get to know you better. So I can show you how I wanted last night to actually go!"

"Alright, fine I'll stay!"

"C'mon!" We both headed downstairs and sat in the living room where we spent the day talking and getting to know each other even better.

[nobodiesheartlessshitblog45]

5 years ago.

2D was walking down the streets of Miami, as he looked around he saw a small sign that said opened, he shrugged, walk down few concrete steps, opened the door.

It was a small bar, the place was empty say for a few people who were sitting at the edge of the bar.

2D walked over the other of the bar, and took a seat.

Man: Hey there.

2D: (looks at him)

See a Man with dark brown hair with a few gray strands, a little scruff on chin, and light green eyes, giving a friendly smile.

2D: 😳... H-Hello... Can I have a shot of whiskey please?

Man: Certainly. (the man walked away grabbing a shot glass and A bottle of whiskey and pord some in) Here ya go.

2D: Thanks, mate. (downs the glass) Whoa! That's... some strong stuff.

Man: Yep it is. And home made by one of our local breweries.

2D: It's good. Can I 'ave another?

Man: Here ya go. But take it easy. This can stuff can knock ya on ya ass.

2D: Heh. I'm... Stuart.

Man: Kanze. Or Kaz

2D: Kazen? I've never 'read that name before.

Kazen: I think its Greek. At least that's I was told.

2D: It's a nice name.

Kazen: Thank you, Stuart.

2D took a few another shot of whiskey, and then let the alcohol settle in.

A few hours later.

2D: So, Murdoc, fuckin arshole yells at me, and... Y-Ya wanna know I did next...?

Kazen: Um, I'm not sure...

2D: I-I 'it 'im... right in 'is stomach... Then Murdoc started pounding me in the face, and Russ 'ad to pull us apart and that when left...

Kazen: ... Wow. This Murdoc Guy sounds like a real asshole.

2D: Yeah. He is...

Kazen: So, if you don't like the way he treats you, why don't leave?

2D: I tried, twice. And he always kidnaps me.

Kazen: ... 😐... (keeps putting weight glasses)

Just then Russell shows up.

Russell: Stuart! There you are! (walks over)

2D: H-Hello, Russ, H-How's my bestiat... Bestist.. My best m-Mate...Hi~!

Russell:Oh, god... How much did you have to drink?

2D: I donno. Kaz took a the bottle away. ... So, no bloody idea.

Kazen: You took 5 shots. I told you take it easy!

2D: P-Party pooper... Pfff... I said poop~ I'm tweeting that...! (pulls out his phone)

Russell: Give me that! (take the phone) We're trying to stay obscure, you dumbass. And Noodle has been in tears after you stormed off like that, she was worried that you might never come back. So how dear you make for making her worry about your stupid ass.

2D: ... ... (let's down at the floor) Fucking 'ell. Alright alright, I'm a wanker. Okay?

Russell: Damn right. Now your drunk ass in gear and let's get goin'.

2D: Oh, alright, alright. I'm comin'... I'm think about to ... Yeah, gonna be sick... (run to the bathroom)

Kazen: ... Man can't hold his liquor.

Russell: (shakes his head) And he's careless. (looks at Kazen) I'm sorry if 2D, I mean, Stuart has been a problem.

Kazen: Not all. And don't worry, I didn't tell anyone who he really is or you for that matter. And here. (Hands over $300) He... overtip.

Noodle: (Runs) Stuart?! Where is the where is he?! Is Stuart alright?!

Russell: He's fine, baby girl. Have a little bit too much to drink, and he's in the bathroom.

Noodle: Well aren't you in there with him!?

Russell: ... (blushes) He... Ran to the ladies room...

Noodle: ... (Rolls eyes and walks into the women's bathroom)

After a while Noodle walks out with 2D.

2D: I appreciate ya, but that's the men's toilet. You're a girl...

Noodle: Yep sure. C'mon. Let's head home.

Kazen: Enjoy the rest of evening.

2D: (grins at him) Y-You too, mate. (looks at Noodle) A great Chap... And a great ars... Fuckin' sexy ars...

Kazen: ... ... (blushes)

Russell: (Facepalm) Idiot...

Noodle: Okay, this too awkward.

And three of them leave.

Kazen: ... Heheh. Well, they're a very lovely people. I like'em.

[eternalstereksecretsanta]

strike the match now (we're a perfect match)

@candybarrnerd | AO3 | thank you for the prompt love, i hope this is somewhat okay. i tried to incorporate all of your elements in one. merry christmas xo

Stiles and Derek have a tentative, mutually-beneficial sexual arrangement of which it's survival depends on never speaking about it or defining it whatsoever. Or so Stiles thinks, but it's probably too late to ask.

It's fine, Derek isn't staying in Washington forever anyway, so it's not like anything is going to come of it.

It's fine, really.

Overcome with lethargy, Stiles slumps against the firm cushions of the sofa, melting into the soft tunes of the radio. He dangles an empty bottle of beer with his thumb and forefinger and is still tipsy enough that he can’t remember why he’s still holding it. Weird. Beer is so gross. Like fizzy salt water. Like fermented cola. He lifts his heavy head up enough to glance around the room, seeking Derek who is sitting at the kitchen table on his laptop under the dim glow of the overhead lights.

It’s late, closing in to two o’clock in the morning, but he’s not ready for today to end and tomorrow to start, so he’s calculating his chances on convincing the older man of making him a coffee at this hour. He thinks better of it though when he sees Derek smothering a yawn into his fist and rubbing a hand down his face, thinks of telling him to go to bed instead. His own bed or Stiles’, it doesn’t really matter which.

Derek came to Washington three months ago when he was offered a contract create a comprehensive historical record of a local, centuries-old werewolf pack. With the advent of digital transcripts and the ever-destructive nature of the supernatural world, turns out that folks all over the world were looking for ways to make the historical memorandums of their packs a little more enduring. Apparently Derek had the passion and enough business sense to capitalize on a market desperate for a little less mortality.

So the wolf had come to Washington for the indefinite duration of his contract and had gotten in touch with Stiles, who had offered him a place to stay before he came up in his small, two-bedroom apartment.

It wasn’t much, Stiles thought as he roved his eyes over the peeling wall-paper and the perpetually scratched windows, but it was enough. So the heating didn’t work sometimes and the floors creaked like old bones, it was secure. Mostly.

He places the beer bottle on the coffee table and stands. It’s probably bordering late enough that if he doesn’t go to bed now he’ll catch his second wind and won’t sleep at all that night. They have a lot to do tomorrow so he probably should get some rest in.

He makes his way down the thin hallway with a not-quite-sober hand trailing along the wall keeping him steady and strips himself of his shirt, shoes and jeans once he reaches Derek’s make-shift bedroom, not particularly caring where his things land. This used to be Stiles spare room where he had dumped all of his unpacked boxes on top of and around the double-bed the room already had. That changed when Derek came. He didn’t - doesn’t - know how long Derek will be staying, but he figures that after all the murder accusations and the whole grave desecration of his sister thing, the very least he could do was offer a bed instead of his ratty couch.

The beer is making him pleasantly warm and he turns his attention to the window, takes in the cloudless night, the starry sky and the proud half-moon before remembering retrieve his phone from his jeans pocket and placing in onto the bedside table.

The bed is still unmade from this morning, covers kicked down to the bottom. Stiles sleeps in this bed a lot. As he stretches himself along the far side of the mattress and drags the covers back up over his body he hears the sharp footsteps of Dereks’ stride down the hall.

He closes his eyes and pretends to be asleep, hears the bedroom door shut seconds later, hears the sound of Derek shuffling around and removing his own clothes. Hears the rustle of covers being lifted, feels the mattress dip behind him.

In this grey area of intimacy Stiles counts backwards from twenty and wills his heartbeat to slow down and nestles further into the pillow conforming to his head. It’s quiet and oh so early and he knows that the sun will rise through those stupid windows in a couple of hours. Fatigue is already weighing his eyelids down and exhaustion finally blanketing his body.

From behind him Derek wraps an arm around Stiles’ lower stomach, pushes a leg between both of his and presses his nose to the junction where his neck meets his shoulder. When Derek breathes through his nose it warms his skin and his chest hair tickles the skin on Stiles back. It feels nice, like this. When he knows the man has fallen asleep he brings his hand to cover the one Derek has splayed on his stomach and just holds it, comforted by the press of Dereks’ knuckles under his. He falls asleep to the warmth and quiet and the sandmans' grains.

--

Stiles isn’t really sure how to label whatever it is that he and Derek are. They’re not frenemies, they’re not fuckbuddies and they’re sure as hell not boyfriends. Well, he’s pretty sure. They have a lot of enthusiastic sex and they hold hands sometimes when they’re out in public but it’s not like they ever sat down and talked about being exclusive. Stiles doesn’t even know how long Derek will be staying in Washington. It could be a few more weeks or a few more months, there was no real timeline, so it wasn’t really his fault for not asking for labels, he was just enjoying this thing they had while they had it.

It had started one seemingly innocuous night whist Stiles and Derek were sitting side by side on the couch watching late night TV. Well, Stiles had been trying to write a paper that had been haunting him for the better part of three weeks with the TV on as background noise before a steamy scene on the screen had distracted him. He’d looked up to see the beginnings of a heavily muscled man getting fingered and then pounded within an inch of his life by another man in what looked like some softcore porn disguised as an artsy indie flick.

The sounds of skin slapping on skin and breathy moans along with some progressive front-on male nudity had apparently made both Derek and Stiles hot and bothered because one minute their sides were pressed together and the next Stiles was being pressed into the cushions of the couch, kissing Derek Hale.

So they made out a lot and had sex often and ran errands together. So what? They lived together - temporarily - it didn’t make them together together. Stiles was okay with that. The revel of their warm bodies intertwined and skin pressed together, the sound of uncontrolled breath and pleased hums was the most life-affirming moments they’d ever had together.

What was significantly less life-affirming was having the covers ripped unceremoniously away from his half naked body and being shook awake the following morning.

“Get up,” Derek says from somewhere behind him, moving swiftly around the room.

Stiles licks his slack lips, his mind velvety and deliciously unaware. “...You get up.”

He hears Derek huff impatiently. “Now, Stiles - up. I’m making coffee and you said you wanted to shower before we leave.”

Oh yeah. Damn it. He barely resists the urge to groan childishly into the pillow and wonders, half asleep, why he agreed to any of this at all. The pack that Derek was commissioned for, the Townsends, were throwing a fortieth birthday party for their alpha matriarch, a severe looking woman called Gerie.

When she first met and introduced herself to Stiles he had made the mistake of asking if her name was like the Spice Girl or the trashy talk show host. She’d frowned at his attempt at light-heartedness and didn’t answer, walking away to speak to someone else. Needless to say, she didn’t immediately warm up to Stiles. He was lucky he found out early that she wasn’t the joking type on most subjects because he had plenty of geriatric jokes up his sleeve. Get it? He’d nudged Derek, who tried to pretend he didn’t hear him.

“Do I have to get up?” He grumbles into the pillow, rubbing his cheek into the warm spot his head had left. “This is a democracy, we should take a vote.”

“I vote you get your ass out of bed before I drag you out of it.”

Stiles turns over and blinks blearily into the morning light, smirking up at Derek who is standing beside the bed in sweatpants, hair wet and freshly showered. He raises up his arms and wriggles his fingers towards Derek. “Oh yes, I like it rough.”

Derek just rolls his eyes and grabs Stiles outstretched hands, hoisting him upwards until he is standing. He wraps his arms around the man's shoulders and presses a sleepy kiss to his neck. Derek presses a kiss to his hair, tells him to get his ass into gear and leaves his morning wood high and dry. Oh well.

Stiles rubs the sleep from his eyes and stretches slumber heavy limbs. By the time all his joints have cracked loudly in protest, Derek is already out of the room and, by the sound of it, in the kitchen with the radio playing.

The autumn lows make the floors cold under his bare feet it makes his toes curl and the hair on his body arms stand up as he pads along to the bathroom. There is only one clean towel left under the sink luckily, and Stiles relieves himself in the toilet before he hops in, twisting the temperature dials. The water pressure is horrendous in his shower, like a rapid stream alternating with a garden hose, but there's plenty of hot water.

Despite Dereks’ urgency he takes his sweet time washing his hair, soaping his body and then jacking off. It makes him feel slightly devious and lot turned on when he comes against the tiles with a strangled sigh, knowing Derek can hear him. His walls are so thin his eighty year old neighbour can probably hear him but that's not the point.

Once he’s out and towel dried he sets to brushing his teeth, draws a lopsided frowning face in the steam of the bathroom mirror trying to dispel some of the nervousness that has begun creeping up on him. It doesn’t seem to matter what he’s been through or how brave he has had to be in the past, he never truly can be over the jitters a large unfamiliar crowd gives him. He is familiar with the furious beat of butterflies in his torso though so he tries to ignore it best by going about his routine, dressing smart casual in a button down shirt and clean jeans,tries to style his hair into something neat.

Derek is absently chewing what looks like plain buttered toast when Stiles makes his way into the kitchen. The older man seems to flipping through the an old treaty he is working through the transcription of, reading it for what has to be the hundredth time.

“Morning,” Stiles greets, a lot more awake and appreciative of the sight before him.

Derek's skin is hugged in his trademark henley and dark jeans. He takes a moment to finish the line he's reading before looking up at Stiles, walks away from the dining table and gestures for Stiles to follow him into the small kitchen. There's a large cup of coffee and a warm fresh-out-of-the-microwave danish on a plate waiting for him.

The coffee cup is nearly as big as Stiles head, but it’s his favorite one because it's his Mets mug and he’s had it forever. Derek, who is drinking from his own coffee mug is looking at him in a way that is almost shy, void of the usual assertiveness. This is like, thoughtful, Stiles thinks. It's usually only his dad and the McCalls who feed and water him.

Stiles purses his lips so they don’t turn upwards instead, freeing his right arm to wrap around Derek's shoulders. He leans in kisses him on the cheek, coarse stubble pressing against his lips. He's about to pull away when Derek uses two fingers to tilt Stiles' jaw to meet his lips, kissing chastely once, twice, before he's allowed to disentangle himself.

“You look really nice,” Derek says, kissing him once more and squeezing his hip.

Stiles scoffs into his mug and takes a gulp before speaking. “You don’t look too horrible I suppose. Are we planning to stay long?”

Derek empties the remainder of his coffee into the sink before placing the cup in the open dishwasher. “Couple of hours. We just have to make an appearance, I’m not really interested in anything beyond that.”

The knot in Stiles stomach eases a fraction. “We have to stop by the grocery store on the way back.”

“Weren’t we there yesterday?”

“Yeah but we forget the laundry powder and we’re out of clean towels.”

“Again?”

“Again.”

Derek groans. He hates the weekend crowds. “Fine, but I’m driving.”

Stiles rolls his eyes and drinks the last mouthful of his coffee, hoping the warm liquid would adequately blanket the tangled ball of nerves in his stomach. Whilst Derek grabs the keys and retrieves the wrapped present from the hall stand Stiles tries to busy himself with turning on the dishwasher and closing the kitchen window shut.

Once they’re off Stiles makes multiple amendments to the Camaro’s radio station and heat settings, never quite getting a consistent balance between too cold and too stifling. Derek smacks his wrist if he tries to change the station from a song he likes but apart from that he doesn’t seem to mind.

The Townsends live about a half hours drive from Stiles’ apartment in a nice suburban part of town, a typical middle-class area. Nice schools, nice clean parks. The pack is hosting the birthday area in the backyard of their main house, it’s a lunchtime barbeque. At Stiles’ feet there are a few six-packs of beer, a nice bottle of wine and a family packet of Doritos and the birthday present.

He nibbles on his fingernails, jiggles his knees, wonders if he’s violating any sort of secret, invisible werewolf etiquette by not declaring to his own alpha that he is visiting the pack house of another alpha. Before they met on neutral ground when he and Derek bumped into them on a hiking trail. Should he not like, formally submit his whereabouts? He and Derek aren’t technically pack members, more like pack members by proxy, does that blur some kind of line? Will she like the gift?

Not that he actually cares about this pack and their opinions but he doesn’t want to make things more difficult for Derek. He doesn’t want the pack to have a hard time working with Derek because they can’t stop remembering the shitty gift he and his anxious pseud-packmate sexbuddy brought to their esteemed alpha.

“Stop fidgeting,” Derek grumbles, eyeing Stiles ever-moving legs.

“Stop sniffing so loudly,” Stiles shoots back.

“Werewolf,” Derek retorts.

“Annoying.”

“Deal with it.”

Stiles taps out his frustration on the plastic of the arm rest, half-chewed nails clicking loudly on contact. “Youdeal with it.”

“I will,” Derek says nonchalantly, briefly looking out his window before changing lanes. “I have more experience in self control than you.”

Stiles snorts loudly as they turn onto the main street, passing signs for local restaurants and beauty salons. Stiles has an itch to turn back now. “You? Self control?” he asks incredulously, turning in his seat to cast Derek a highly dubious stare, “Is that what that was, when you had so much self control and you didn’t do your own laundry for two weeks and had to resort to wearing my clothes?”

Derek clears his throat, face blank as he turns down off the main road into the denser streets. “I'm still essentially living out of a suitcase, it’s an easy thing to do.”

“Yeah, well, tell that to my hoodie that still smells like wet dog.”

“Crybaby.”

“Stinky.”

“Wow, I'm annoying and stinky,” Derek laughs. “This must be so hard for you.”

Stiles gives a long suffering sigh, adopting a serious expression.

“We all have our cross to bear, Derek,” he says, pressing his hand onto Dereks’ knee and squeezing. “But... you give great, and I do mean great head, so I'll take that cross and bear it hard. ”

Derek takes his eyes off the road for a moment to raise his eyebrows at Stiles just smiles innocently. When Derek looks back to the road, Stiles looks out the window at the moving scenery for something to do, waits for a reaction that never comes, only to feel the welcoming weight of Dereks' fingers linking with his.

Stiles quickly moves to turn the radio up loudly enough to hopefully cover the increased tempo of his pulse.

He snickers when he recognizes the song. “Back when Dad used to drive me to school he would roll down the window and blast ABBA just as we were pulling in. Everyone would turn and stare, it was mortifying,” Stiles remembers fondly. Even the memory of an embarrassed newly-pubescent Stiles made him feel nostalgic, a feather-light warmth floating above his sternum.

“Mamma Mia?”

Stiles snorts. “That too, but Super Trouper was his favorite.”

The corners of Derek's mouth quirk upwards. He moves to the right-most lane and uses their joint hands to turn on the indicator to park on the side street.

“My father used to sing Waterloo every morning while he got ready for work,” Derek says softly, putting the car into park as it comes to a stop. “It was his routine, he'd do the face movements and everything while he was making scrambled eggs.”

Stiles shoots the other man an amused grin, arching his thumb and gently rolling the pad into Derek's knuckle. “Sounds like he was uncool like my dad. But, y’know, looking back, total props for the playlist.”

“Used to make me cringe,” Derek huffs a low laugh. “I miss it now.”

He doesn't know why his heart skips a beat at the admission and neither of them move to unbuckle their seatbelts. “I downloaded the Greatest Hits album,” he tells Derek. “The play count is embarrassing. Dancing Queen is in like, triple digits.”

“Dancing Queen,” Derek says, smiling bashfully, “is on my workout playlist.”

Stiles snorts. “Have you seen Mamma Mia?”

“The one with Meryl Streep? I didn't hate it.” He studies Stiles for a moment, eyes raking down his face. He briefly smirks, pulling Stiles closer with their still linked hands and pressing a kiss into the corner of his mouth. Stiles wraps his free hand around the back of Derek’s neck and deepens the kiss.

“Wanna watch it when we get home later?” He asks breathless a few moments later.

“How could I ever refuse?”

(read the rest on AO3)