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I see so many posts abt loving to be a hater but honestly!! I love to be a lover!! it's so fun!! I love loving songs that I don't think are particularly "good", songs that are unpopular in my circles that my friends make fun of me for liking.. I love enjoying the company of people others don't like, even if I know I wouldn't like them if I were rationally making a decision about it.. I think all people are interesting to talk to, and I love that! I love finding things to like in everything. idk man. people see this attitude as dumb or naive, but I'm fully aware of everything bad in the world. I just find life a lot easier to live if I love everything I can
#my parents were always so critical and complained about everything#it was quite miserable to feel i couldnt enjoy anything#im as critical of toxic positivity as anyone#but thats not what this is#i just want to love everythinggggg#like rn im exhausted#havent really rested in ages#having bad sleep nightmares scary things memories coming up#and im pushing myself to go to a musical rn for someone else - not for me - bc they want to go with someone#and it's hot!!! too hot#but im gonna sit here and love these things bc this is what existing is and isnt it beautiful?#sadness is just a way of experiencing the world and im here for it#ed mumbles#and i dont have the energy to be like. no this music is bad i dont like it#it's easy to listen to and fun and nice who cares#same with movies n shows n stuff#be silly forever
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Something cheerful
#Wuk Lamat#ff14#animation#animeeffects#tried to do something a little cheerful because ive been so poor off#i liked the art but not the animation#but it was mostly a test of animeeffects. for a free program its not bad#not super great for a lot of moving parts and complicated movements tho#but free so hey#this took me like two weeks jsut because im crashing hella hard rn#everything hurts and i can't think to save my life and im marrow deep exhausted#i just hope it isn't permanent
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I put some fishnets on!!
Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me
#fishnet friday#I managed to put some fishnets on today and I am very proud of myself.#Happy fishnet Friday to all those who may celebrate ✨#I am so exhausted and worn down rn but at least im a little bit delicious. I put my pjs over this instead of actual clothes#At least until I feel like taking some more pics 😂#satans knitwear#alt pinup#pinup girl#pretty lingerie#fishnet lingerie#cheeky
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…. forced myself to power through the third merguru part and now the fic is sitting at 8k ish ………
#:’)#i’m…. exhausted ……..#it was going good for a while but now i’m like ……….#hhhhhh#gonna try to work on it a little every day this week!!!!!#as long as i can get a rough draft i should be fine :’)#then i can spend some time polishing it and making sure everything is . Good ….#rn i’m mostly worried abt things not . Making sense ……#from a story and character standpoint#im just sitting here with my head in my hands like wahhhh he wouldn’t be that honest with you would he…..#:’))#anyway . goodnight dash!!! i love u!!!!!#ari noises ✩
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idk about yall but im rlly tired of hearing “fiona and lip ended up like frank” when they both are trying to break the very cycle frank never did
#shameless#lip gallagher#fiona gallagher#like watch the last couple seasons I beg#I hope I worded this ok#I’ll probs ramble more about this later im just exhausted rn#cass talks
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A Healer's Hands
poll results came in: team whump, medic is broken down to be made an example of
cw: gore, medic whump, creepy whumper, team dynamics, captivity, torture
The Medic's crew stumbled through the cell door, one after the other.
Captain, with a black eye and a limp, lifted two fingers to their temple in a mock solute. Their clothes were torn and there was blood on their uniform's collar.
Youngest trembled as one of the henchmen shoved them inside the gated door. They looked around, eyes brighter than a deer's in headlights. "H-hey Medic." They wrapped their arms around themself.
"Hey," Medic swallowed down the twisting feeling that rose up. He forced his voice to soften, to not carry any of the sharp panic he felt. "Where are you hurt?"
"We're fine," Captain cut in, gesturing behind Medic's shoulder. "It's--"
Medic had already whirled around.
Lieutenant.
The Lieutenant held onto the cell wall with a shaking grip. Where he touched it, blood trickled down the stones in a steady faucet run.
Drip.
Drip.
"Lieutenant?"
He glanced up. His nose was gushing red. It stained his uniform, bright and electric in the dull light.
"Turns out those fuckers can throw a punch after all," said Lieutenant with a hoarse laugh. Still unceremoniously reckless.
But he let Medic hold a makeshift bandage--ripped from Medic's shirt-- to his nose.
As Lieutenant sat down, Medic crouched beside him, correcting how he was holding the bandage. "Don't tilt your head up."
Lieutenant winced when Medic readjusted the bandage.
Medic drew away and reevaluated the situation. "It's broken," he said.
"It’s just a new look I’m trying out – call it avant-garde." Lieutenant tried to laugh but ended up grimacing. He waved Medic away. "I'll survive."
Medic shook his head. "Wiseass." But he smiled. Then. "Are you hurt anywhere else?"
Lieutenant tilted his head against the wall, pieces of choppy hair falling away to reveal a swollen eye and pulsing bruises. He closed his eyes. Through a clenched jaw, he managed, "I think they broke my ribs."
Medic swallowed down a wave of helplessness. "Just stay still."
Lieutenant kept his eyes closed, breathing shallowly. "My pleasure."
Medic turned to Captain and Youngest. "So, you and you, where are you injured?" He only asked to make conversation. He had already identified that Youngest's arm was dislocated, hanging loosely at their side. And on Captain's right thigh was a raw-edged wound, seeping and damaged.
Medic took off his jacket, ready to tear it into makeshift bandages and a sling.
But neither looked at him.
Youngest was staring at something over Medic's shoulder. They pressed back into the wall, shaking.
"No," they whispered. "No. Not again."
Captain put a comforting hand on their shoulder, mouth set in a thin line.
Electric fear whispered a spider-like path down Medic's spine. They turned just as the cell door opened.
Whumper entered with two henchmen strolling behind them. Whumper grinned, teeth canine-sharp. His blood-red hair was tied back, accentuating fox-like features. He didn't look quite human-- too tall, too much of a bounce in his walk.
And he wouldn't stop smiling.
He swung a crowbar.
Even Lieutenant flinched.
Oh.
Oh.
Whumper arched an eyebrow when Medic stood his ground. "You're Medic?"
Medic glanced at Lieutenant-- saw panic and web-woven fear-- then back at Whumper. "Yes."
Whumper flicked the crowbar side to side. He kept talking, a paper mache smile at the corner of his mouth. "I don't appreciate you wrecking what I'm trying to build here."
Medic failed to understand. "I'm a medic. I have to provide care," he said automatically.
His head buzzed. He couldn't-- couldn't think clearly.
Whumper appeared to consider this. He tilted his head to the side. "I see. Well, I have to do things too, I get it."
"Yeah. Wait. No, what?"
The henchmen grabbed Medic. One kicked him in the back of the knees, forcing him to kneel.
Medic struggled, lashing out like a trapped animal.
A henchman brought the edge of their gun over Medic's head and Medic slumped forward.
His vision suddenly doubled.
The short-wired tension burst into flame.
Captain lunged forward. "Leave him alone!"
It took two henchmen to restrain Captain, pinning their arms behind them, and another to kick Lieutenant in the ribs, so he doubled over coughing. Incapacitated.
Whumper leaned over Medic, tilting his chin up to look him in the eye. "You should have left well enough alone," he whispered.
Medic snarled something unintelligible. A curse. A plea. He didn't know.
Whumpr straightened. To the others, he said, "You all break as easily as his hands will. And if you don't believe me? Watch."
There was a sharp intake of breath. Realization hit with a dull, sick thud. "No!" Lieutenant cried out, "No! No-- don't!"
But the henchmen had dragged Medic's hand out and splayed it on the tiles, kicking him when he tried to pull it away.
Whumper lifted the crowbar.
Medic's eyes widened in horror.
"No-- no, nonono! Please--" His voice arched into a desperate cry, more animal than human.
Crack.
A splintering sound.
All Medic could see was white. Electric pain filled every nerve, spilled into every bone, coating his teeth and burning-- burning, burning, burning.
A terrible sound ripped itself out of his throat.
And then again--
Crack.
His left hand.
Medic screamed.
Maybe he had screamed before.
Had always screamed.
Maybe he would scream forever.
Darkness filled the corners of his vision, blurring the sharp flashes of red of white--
Electric, pulsing red.
Burning, vicious white.
Blood trickled down his arms, bright and throbbing with a cinching pain.
Whumper wiped the gory crowbar on Medic's shirt.
His henchmen let the unconscious medic slump to the floor, little more than a bundle of clothes. They released Captain, who sank to the cell floor, unable to look away from Medic.
Whumper bent down by Lieutenant, whose breaths were coming in sharp drags. He wiped a tear off of Liutenant's face. "Crying?"
"No." His voice shook.
Whumper smiled generously. "Oh, no." He stood. "Tomorrow, one of you will offer up the information on your base. I do not make idle threats."
The door locked on the blood-soaked cell.
Lieutenant muffled a sob.
"We...we can't," said Captain. Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry.
They didn't know if they were apologizing to the unconscious Medic or to what remained of his hands.
tagging the people who interacted with the poll: @acer-gaysimpstuff, @yet-another-heathen, @another-whump-sideblog
#sorry for the tagg if this wasn't the poll result you voted for#im so tired#no edits we die like men#uhh yeah idk#im exhausted#this post might be incoherant oops#i am apologizing rn. for any blatant errors#whump#whump writing#whumpblr#whump prompt#whump community#whump ideas#whump scenario#team whump#cw gore#broken hands#more like smahsed hands#they're literally just#gone#creepy whumper#lets break down the one very important member of the team#its medic#and then lets take the one thing that he needs to actually perform his job#>:)
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for Ninjago people who work does anyone else imagine their favorite characters doing the job that they do bc I think it would be hilarious if Garmadon became an amusement park grounds night crew worker
and then Lloyd working at Wendy's and he can't snap at the customers for being idiotic and instead he has to say "as I've stated before—"
#ninjago#lego ninjago#garmadon#lord garmadon#like im so mentally and physically exhausted rn from work but hey garmadon will suffer the same fate with me#ugh#lloyd garmadon#ninjago lloyd#rossrambling
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Futurama slop
#guys im so fucking exhausted#i spent all weekend doing my swim instructors course#like im pretty sure i spent more of thise 72 hours at the pool than i did at my own house#anyways sorry for complaining lifes just been like. waht the fuck.#so this is kinda all i have for you guys rn. i promise im working on more GF stuff theyre still circulatinf ng brain#and ive also been planning some more stuff surrounding that TOH pirate/mermaid au cause people really seemed to like that#im trying i swear chat its a matter of finding time rn#futurama#futurama fanart#philip j fry#turanga leela#freela#amy wong#planet express#artists on tumblr#traditional art#kenny's art:3
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a friendly giant tries to gently approach tiny me but they don’t know i accidentally lapsed on my antidepressants for a week and i just start biting the shit out of their hand the second its in reach like fucking shredding that thing im like a two inch bundle of knives and claws and i know a rage only held by people who realize they’re acting unmedicated but cannot restrain it. bc of the being unmedicated. get bit idiot.
#im not tagging this lmfao#im okay!! i will be okay. when i had that cvs flare a week or two ago i couldnt take my meds the whole time#and i am back on my meds!!!!!!! HOWEVER. THEY HAVENT KICKED IN YET#its so fast to detox from these bitches but it takes a month or two of taking them to feel the full effect#so like. i know ill be okay! but my brain is a bag of cats rn. idk how i used to live like this. just rawdogging life#girl the mental illness is mental illnessing#also like. my brain meds help my fibro. so ive been exhausted and my joint pains been soooo way worse#and im having weird back pain that could be the fibro or could be the kidney stones coming back!!#again i am okay and medicated and talking w my doctors. ill be fine#BUT ALSO GOTDAM. WHAT A TIME IN MY BODY RN.
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smartwatermagic posting at an ungodly hour to say that alabaster is a volatile combination of both percy and annabeth’s fatal flaws. despite the paltry length of his story, he demonstrates just how dangerous unflinching, unquestioning personal loyalty is and how hubris, while fueling his drive to live and take vengeance and get better at his craft, only feeds into this blind faith—to his own detriment and that of everyone else who orbits him. and he not only suffers to a severe degree, he suffers in a way specifically painful for someone with those fatal flaws: the people he fights for all killed; his influence stripped and demonized.
“like my mirror years ago”: alabaster is a reflection of percy and annabeth’s worst impulses unacted on. alabaster is the (inadvertent, unintentional) scapegoat towards which the consequences of percy and annabeth’s actions have been redirected: percy gifting the olympians the benefit of the doubt, annabeth shouldering luke’s sins then his salvation
#alabaster torrington#annabeth chase#percy jackson#smartwatermagic#im exhausted af so theres a chance that when i wake up a few hours later this will read like absolute gibberish#but rn this is the best i can make of my smartwatermagic thought spaghetti#my meta#my fic ramblings
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who else is a boy that loves pressing a mysterious button 🙋♂️
#🙋♂️ me !!! i am !!!!!#tgaa#the great ace attorney#dai gyakuten saiban#dgs#obsessed with the way iris generalizes like “no that must be a boy thing bc the two boys i spend the most time w both do it”#shes so fkn funny man.. i lvoe the silly character interactions sm. literally spend so much time exhausting all the dialogue#i will click every little thing and i will do it even if i know theyre just gonna be like “we need to do smth else rn- remember??”#examine button my beloved. giving me so many treats. truly#guys im cooking rn we will see if it survives to see the day of light
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its always so interesting to see with each chapter the different sides of shima. to peel back the layers and see how hes not at all an easy going popular pretty face. hes childish. hes unable to let go of the past. hes unable to reciprocate others' feelings properly. hes unable to express or even feel his own feelings. this latest bit with his mom felt so harsh, but i so so enjoy seeing that side of him and his character. hes fifteen and hes avoided unpacking anything thats happened to him in his past, which includes abuse and the trauma of being involved in a scandal as a child actor. people think hes perfect, and want him to be perfect, and he tries to fit that mold. so seeing these moments where hes being pushed, where his mom tries to be there for him now despite her past abuse, and seeing how he reacts to that. augh. he so clearly doesnt want to think about it. he just wants to take care of everything himself and distance himself from everyone. aughhh shimaaaaaa
#hes just like me for re- *GETS SHOT*#idk this is jumbled bc im exhausted rn#skip and loafer#stl spoilers#mine
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you know what, I actually will talk about this because it's bothering me. The issue with focussing so heavily on syd and carmy's potential for a romantic relationship isn't that there's something inherently unintellectual about romance or whatever, it's that a lot of people seem incapable of doing that without immediately flattening the story and ignoring or intentionally misreading any and all nuance for the sake of that romance. Every scene suddenly becomes about how it impacts their relationship, every analysis is done through a romantic lens, every frame or line of dialogue becomes about finding some easter egg or hint that "proves" these people should start dating. Their dynamic is absolutely a fundamental part of this show, but if you can only see it as a will-they-won't-they, you miss so much of what the story is actually trying to say with these two.
There are good versions of this story where their relationship is romantic and there are good versions of this story where it isn't, but as soon as you decide them being together is "the point," you lose the ability to actually judge the story for what it is, not what you want it to be.
#like so much of their dynamic (esp but not exclusively in S3) has been about showing the ways that carmy's trauma and dysfunctional#attitude in the kitchen impacts other people and how even though he cares about syd and wants their partnership to work he keeps self#sabotaging and setting himself and by extension her and the restaurant up to fail and replicating the same toxic environments that#he grew up and trained in and this is very much consistent with his character and a natural continuation of the conflicts they've been#having since S1 but because him being shitty with her runs contrary to them getting together suddenly its 'ruining the story' and#out of character and only happening bc the writers just hate to see this ship winning and like. if you really think that i genuinely don't#know what show you've been watching bc it sure as shit wasn't this one. like it hurts to see him do this because you know#they could do something genuinely great together and that he's ruining a really good thing but this is also the reality of where he is rn#if he was just a good and supporting business partner and not deeply dysfunctional it would be wildly out of character#the problem w S3 wasn't that it 'ruined' their relationship it's that it had no clear focus overemphasized carmy's arc at the expense#of the other leads deprioritized the supporting cast while failing to give them their own arcs gave more screen time to#unecessary and uninteresting new 'comic relief' characters and let conflicts stagnate without resolving them or#letting them evolve over the course of the season.#this isn't exclusive to the bear this is a general trend ive noticed where as soon as the 'shipper' part of people's brains get activated#it's like they lose the ability to read the story any other way and it stops being about what's good for the narrative and starts being#about whether or not these two people kiss and anything that gets in the way of that is bad and anything that brings it closer is good#and it's usually whatever but it's really frustrating when the story ppl are doing that to is this good#it also makes people fundamentally incapable of treating any 'obstacle' to that romance in a way that isn't wildly meanspirited and#gross (esp bc those characters are usually women) which is exhausting. like no claire isn't evil or a 'pick me' or 'bad' for carmy#or a useless addition to the story or whatever other nonsense you guys have decided must be true to feel okay. she's a perfectly normal#character and their relationship is exploring some of the ways that carmy's inability to deal with or actually address his trauma#impacts the various relationships in his life. she doesn't even have to be a monster or a narrative mistake for him and syd to be#'destined' for each other or whatever. this isn't a middle school wattpad fic.#im definitely gonna get killed in the street for this but ive been looking for a good reason to spend less time on here so might as well#the bear#sydcarmy#sydney adamu#carmy berzatto
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im so glad this show is looking more into Annabeth and Grover's dynamic because it is so important to me
Annabeth: "Grover would you please tell your friend-"
Grover: *clapping aggressively because he doesn't wanna face confrontation*
Grover standing up for Annabeth because he knows how much her mom's gift means to her!!! Grover also not hesitating to call her out on not understanding Percy's feelings in the situation!!!!!
Annabeth: "he gets grouchy when he doesn't get enough sleep"
Grover: "hE gEtS gRoUcHy wHeN hE dOeSn'T gEt EnOuGh sLeEp"
Annabeth: "being on the road with him isn't the same as a froofy boarding school"
Grover: "YOU'RE FROOFY. what's froofy"
Annabeth: "you guys go ahead, I'll buy you time from the Chimera"
Grover: "no, we're all gonna get out of this together" (BECAUSE THALIA!!!!! HE DOESNT WANT A REPEAT OF THALIA!!!!!!!!!!)
gosh I love this trio sm, I love Grover's character in the show in comparison to the books. he's so sassy here
#feel free to rb and add more!#im supposed to be sleeping rn#im like exhausted#but this is important#annabeth chase#leah sava jeffries#grover underwood#aryan simhadri#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo tv show#pjo tv spoilers#isoceratops
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Wanted to do some OC valentines cards for todays wondrous occasion :3
I hope you enjoy :3
#welcome home#welcomehome#welcome home horror project#welcome home puppet show#welcome home ocs#welcome home oc#Enrique Estevez#my art#indigo’s art#indigo’s ocs#art#digital art#valentines day#valentines#mail-in-times day#aughghgh i love eddie so much yall i love eddie and frank oh im so silly im so ill#im so illlllll#I ALSO. KINDA REALLY LIKE HOW THESE CAME OUT. it gave me a pointer in what to do for the future :3#it fixed a problem i didnt even realize i had a problem with until now! yay! :>#yippeee!#happy valentines day!#also. i found an easier way to crosspost from insta to tumblr at the same time. im doing it rn and. thank ghoodddddd.#twas exhausting switching from my phone to my ipad constantly if i wanted to post sth#now i can just do it on my ipad!!! hooray!#okok uhh#valentines cards#welcome home arg#artists on tumblr#Juniper Jimenez
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opened up to my principal about my seasonal affective disorder during our meeting today and she was very sympathetic and clearly wanted to try and offer advice bc she was like "try to keep busy! i find keeping busy helps me when i'm in a slump!!" like thank you queen you are the best boss i've ever had but i don't have the heart to explain to you that keeping busy is not the solution to my I Want To Kill Myself For All Of Winter disorder
#how to tell your boss that in fact work is part of the reason you feel like a shell of yourself rn. with pictures#i mean like ultimately i'm fine. i've been managing with my SAD for years now this is just a particularly rough go of it#it makes my suicide-themed intrusive thoughts more common which is mostly annoying but IS also exhausting#auuuuugh. im going to bring my lightbox to work i think so that i can go lizard mode earlier in the morning
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