#like saf and stuff

[mvanqsh]

give me anything starkid to draw, i’ve got spare time tomorrow and i want to draw it all!!! put it in my inbox

[ricky-mortis]

Curtwen Week Day 4: Haunted

[kamaluhkhan]

I CAN STILL CHANGE THE END (spider-woman!vi x spider-woman!reader)

LET'S DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY THIS TIME....her name is violet lanes. she was bitten by a radioactive spider and for the past 10 years, she's been the one and only ghost-spider spider-woman ! she joined a band, saved the city, fell in love, saved the city again, graduated college, argued with her sister (teenagers are the worst), moved in with her girlfriend in hopes of saving their relationship, got into grad school, broke her leg (do not text and swing, regardless of how late you are for an anniversary dinner), saved the city some more, maybe too much, but couldn't save the love of her life.

no matter how many hits she takes, no matter how much guilt she carries, vi always, always, gets back up, even if it's hard to keep fighting when she's lost so much.

and.....she's not the only one.

(spoiler alert: you're the one and only spider-woman until an alternate version of your dead ex-girlfriend crashes a double date and introduces you to the chaos of the multiverse.... and maybe reintroduces the possibility of a happy ending, however doomed it may be.)

i. mercury in retrograde — violet lanes adjusts to a different reality; a new team of supervillains wreaks havoc around new york; and you just really need a nap, honestly, but you have a thesis to write, a city to protect, and a ghost-spider to deal with.

ii. agent of chaos, angel of death — you and vi start to appreciate not having to shoulder the responsibility of spider-woman alone. hoping to find her a way back home, the two of you visit oscorp and make some sinister discoveries; mj agrees to let vi fill in as the band’s drummer, but your show is cut short by unwanted guests; and you’re once again faced with the reality that you can’t save everyone.

iii. in the web that is our own, we begin again — in every other universe, violet lanes falls for spider-woman. it never ends well. but, there’s a first time for everything, right? you and vi indulge in fantasies of what your lives would have been if you met under different circumstances; the two of you save the multiverse before harry osborn can make his daddy issues everyone’s problem; and an inevitable goodbye isn’t as final as it may seem.

[uhhhitsme]

[if-we-are-free-tell-me-why]

every time I hear someone say "oh you have to listen to Dear Evan Hansen it has such good mental health representation" I cry in Next to Normal

[writingwiring]

Nonacearoweek 2025 prompt 1: experienced aro helps out questioning aro

Hemlock kicked its feet, perched comfortably on the railing while playing on its phone, which buzzed as a new text came through. It scowled, exiting the game to check who wanted its attention. Swiping through, it pulled up messages with CONTRACTOR (IMPORTANT), where an unread message sat.

Busy?

Scrunching up its face, Hemlock leaned back, resting its back along the top of the railing and facing the sky. Unusual for Eric to reach out unless he needed something work-related, but Saturdays were his day off, so that wasn’t likely.

Hemlock tapped out a question mark before flipping through pages of poorly-organized apps. However, within seconds, the phone buzzed again.

Lunch, im paying

That caught Hemlock’s attention, and it sat up, then hopped down from the railing onto the ground.

PARK TRUCK 15 MIN OMW

Pocketing its phone, Hemlock darted towards the doorway and skipped down the stairs beyond, ignoring the other complex residents in pursuit of reaching the bottom floor as quickly as possible. Shoes slapping against the stained concrete as it jumped the last step, it hummed cheerfully, pleased at the prospect of free sliders.

It quickly tied back its messy hair in an attempt to look somewhat presentable before entering the park, head swiveling around for its contractor. After a few minutes of searching, Hemlock spotted Eric standing under a tree, scrolling on his phone. As quietly as possible, it approached him, sneaking around to see what he was doing. Peering at his screen, Hemlock skimmed a wall of text. Based on the results of this survey, mages under the research and development departments perceive a higher sense of autonomy and independence compared to the…

“Ughhh, I don’t understand why you bother to read those things.” Hemlock scrunched its face and shook its head. “Their periodic surveys and press releases are so boring.”

Eric sighed, clicking the power button. “Snoop.”

“Yeah?” Hemlock paused. “Wait, you’re not taking back buying lunch or anything, right? Because I totally didn’t bring my wallet.”

“No, I said I would.” Eric hesitated, then tipped his head towards the truck. “What do you want? You find somewhere to sit.”

“Sure,” it chirped, “I want cheese! And fries and a milkshake!”

“Got it.” Eric started off towards the food truck, leaving Hemlock to scout out a suitable place.

Hemlock immediately set off towards the pavilion, which housed a selection of picnic benches. The area only had a few people, leaving most of the seats empty, so Hemlock picked the furthest spot from any visitors that remained under shade. Sliding onto the warm metal bench, it drummed its fingers impatiently on the table, idly looking over the park guests until Eric returned, lunch in hand.

He set the food down carefully, sorting out the separate orders, before sitting across from Hemlock, who eagerly popped open its Styrofoam containers and began wolfing down fries. Eric instead sipped on his drink before absently picking through his fries.

“Hemlock, can I ask you something?” Suddenly, Eric set his cup aside, staring at the shapeshifter.

Midbite, Hemlock chewed rapidly and took a sip from its strawberry milkshake, swallowing with a head bob. “You want me to kill someone?”

Ignoring its comment, Eric pressed ahead, his usual apathetic demeanor replaced with a slight jitteriness. “I’ve been,” he sighed, then pressed his fingertips together lightly, “Leah and I broke up. And my parents are pretty upset about it. But I think that I just… don’t want that. Any of it.”

Hemlock finished off the last few bites of its slider, unnaturally sharp teeth closing with finality. “Leah didn’t like me anyway.”

“You asked if she was going to eat her pet rabbit!”

“They taste good! How was I supposed to know she was going to be that mad about it?”

Eric sighed again, giving up on the detour. “It turned into a big fight. With everyone, except Mark. But I just couldn’t do it anymore. I know Leah wanted this… beautiful future together and none of it felt right.”

“Yeah, that kind of stuff is…” Hemlock stuck out its tongue, disgusted “…mundane. Empty. I’d rather be stuck as a research subject forever instead.”

“I just… I don’t think I want that. I don’t know what I want, really, but not that.” He tapped his fingers along the side of the cup, eyes staring down at his partially-eaten meal.

Hemlock looked over its contractor before shifting awkwardly and slowly reaching its hand into Eric’s field of vision, getting his attention. “So you came to me? And not Mark? Why the hell?”

“I know he wouldn’t think anything of it, but…” Eric looked over to Hemlock before breaking eye contact. “I’m different than Mark is. Mark doesn’t want anything from people. Outside of samples, at least. Whereas the hard part with Leah wasn’t her, it was more her expectations of me. I even liked spending time with her.”

Hemlock tipped its head slightly, with lightly narrowed eyes. “Still there’s something…” It paused, then grinned and dragged its tongue across the bottom of its teeth in amused contemplation.  “Ohhh, I see. You came to me because I like sex. Especially with none of those pesky attachments from people.”

“I like some of the attachment,” Eric immediately jumped in defensively.

“No, you don’t.” Hemlock replied smoothly and slid his uneaten food over to its side. “The only people you even talk to regularly are me, Mark, and Leah. And that’s sometimes even out of obligation.” It gestured a fry at Eric before popping it into its mouth. “You barely like people and find most of them boring. I’m surprised you even made it two years with Leah.”

 “That’s not…” Eric’s face twisted in a rare expression of pain before he continued. “That shouldn’t be true.”

“Why? People aren’t worth it most of the time anyway.”

“Because!” Eric floundered around, before staring at Hemlock, “That’s not…”

“Nice? Right? Fair? None of that really means anything.” It shrugged, taking a long sip from the remainder of its milkshake. “If you cared about that kind of stuff, you wouldn’t have paired with me anyway. Just throw away convention and life gets a lot easier.”

“That’s easier said than done.” Eric lightly bounced his palms quietly against the tabletop, for visual effect. “Or what, am I supposed to be like you? You’re…” He stopped.

Hemlock arched an eyebrow. “I’m what? Honest? Shameless? Go on.”

“You’re…” Eric deflated. “You’re right. But it’s not like you’re happy either.”

Huffing airly, Hemlock closed the empty containers. “Well, that’s thanks to the shackles more than anything else. I’m sure I would be happier free, but that isn’t happening.” Flashing a pointed grin, it continued. “Yet.”

Eric groaned and dropped his head onto his hands, pressed against the table. “I can’t be you, though.”

“I am one of a kind!”

“Thank god, but that doesn’t help me out.”

Hemlock snorted. “I don’t exactly do helpful.” Looking over its contractor, it chewed the inside of its cheek before lightly knocking a knuckle on Eric’s head. “I’ll make an exception for you, but you owe me.” Drawing back, it rested its chin on its palm, eyes fixed on the park walking path. “Look, there’s a lot of different kinds of relationships out there and you don’t need to follow a ruleset on how to build one. We’re both adverse to managing the hard stuff and it’s possible to find people who are fine with that. Most people won’t be, but whatever.”

Eric lifted his head, grumbling slightly. “It seems like everyone just wants everything. Love, moving in, marriage, all of it! And it’s just stressful.” After a slow sigh, he sat up fully, leaning back. “Leah and I started arguing because I didn’t want to move in together. And then it escalated and she… said some things about me. It was accurate, but it hurt to hear anyway. Stuff about me skipping dates and avoiding her family… that sort of thing.”

“Yeah, ‘cause doing that stuff sucks?”

“It’s not supposed to, though. I think.”

“But it does.”

“I know that! Remembering stuff like which flowers she liked and all was exhausting! I think her older brother is annoying! I…”

Hemlock hummed in acknowledgement, eyes back towards Eric, who listed off his frustrations with his now ex-girlfriend. Eventually, Eric’s annoyance burned out into exhaustion. Hemlock had thrown away the trash of their spontaneous lunch during his rambling, leaving their space neat. Hemlock yawned and its fingers habitually opened its current game, tapping through the daily missions as Eric wound down.

“…Thanks, Hemlock. You can be useful sometimes, I guess.”

“Don’t make a habit of it… Dammit!!!  I really wanted that SSR! I saved all week for it…” Hemlock whined, showing Eric its phone screen.

“They all kind of look the same to me.”

“Ughhh, you just don’t get it.”

“Absolutely not. I don’t want to. Also, I have to head out; I’m supposed to pick Mark up from school in a bit and should probably clear out my car to make room.”

“Sure thing,” Hemlock waggled its fingers at Eric, who was starting to get up from his seat. “I’ll see you later this week anyway. Apparently, Ross found something weird and wants us to check on it but is waiting for the official request to finish going through. So look forward to that.”

“Terrible. See you later.” Eric headed towards his car, leaving the shapeshifter slouched on the table, complaining at its phone over the draw rates.

Hemlock spun through its game a few more times before turning the screen off. It had made a good choice in partner, it thought, someone who was similar. Humans who are alike were rare, but perhaps if he made it past a human lifespan, he would turn out like it as well.

[ghostieblotts]

So many projects I want to work on, so much planning to do for fun trips, so much holiday fun imminent, and not enough time

[tame-a-messenger]

Omg I can’t believe I forgot to talk about the first episode of sword af?? It was so good! I’m still kinda mad that there’s no visuals because I miss seeing them interact but the characters and story are still incredible! Also that ending was insane!?! I hate how I’m attracted to that true neutral character (did they say his name? I don’t remember lol) like I hate him but something about the way Damien voiced him still got me giggling and kicking my feet lmao

I KNOW! I WAS ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT!!

I’m still really saddened that there aren’t any visuals (you can literally HEAR DAMIEN CALLING OUT DICE ROLLS BEFORE PEOPLE SAY WHAT THEY ROLLED)(it sounds like they recorded it at the usual table as well.. So they did it in person? this is going into my pile of WHY TF IS IT AUDIO ONLY WHEN THEY CLEARLY RECORDED IT ON SET?).

(SPOILER-ISH)

I KNOW BRO! I was SHOOK. Getting to know more Ferny lore? YES PLEASE.

Damien’s voices are always a joy to listen to, I love when he uses his deeper register! it’s so soothing 😊

HOLD ON A FUCKING MINUTE. 

I just went to see if they mentioned the guys name- and the length of the Podcast is 15 minutes shorter? I distinctly remember it being 1hr 13mins because I noticed it was the longest episode, AND NOW ITS 58:43???? and it cuts off really weirdly?? WTF? Can they gut my baby anymore?? 

[smytherines]

I just think it would be so much fun if Curt Mega played a puppet. One of the true delights of collecting screenshots for SAF is that he makes just... some of the best, funniest, most heartbreaking faces in that show. Assuming the puppetry is done in the same style as Starship, that would be so much fun!

[lazarus-harp]

I think A LOT about what the survivors do post-season. would nikita try and pretend that nothings happened? would mat watch the videos the dead made to humanize those who had to die for him to survive?

you're the survivor connoisseur, what do you think?

for one, i'm very flattered to be seen as the 'survivor connoisseur'! so thank you immensely for the kind words. and secondly, oh boy, this question couldn't of come at a better time ... considering how much post canon mat & nikita have been pingponging around my head! i'll try to be as coherent as possible, but if a lot of this is pure word vomit then i do apologize. it is merely the passion taking over haha.

nikita is someone who fascinates me greatly in the aftermath, because there's a level of realism within her that's lacking in mat. but it's cynicism mixed with denial! she doesn't believe they can bring everyone back i don't think, or at least that's what she tells herself over and over again. a mantra. a safety net. she is so scared to hope and she's even more scared of what might come after that ; there's a sense of shame inherent in her when faced with colleen's bitter coldness. unlike mat, she is all too aware of her horrible actions and what might follow. an awful nightmare of, even if i saved them, would they forgive me? would they want me around? would things be the same? and nikita knows the answer, or at least thinks she does. so much of her post everlock is trapped inside this in-between, which naturally makes her come off as wishy washy and contradictory. a perfect fit for her bizarre behavior in s4. she's willing to go through with the rescue mission because her desire aligns with mat's, yet she staunchly refuses to wallow in grief. she accepts people have died ( in her memorial to manny and roi, via the tear tattoos ) and has made progress in finding a life outside the death games, via bretman. she nurses her new best friend close and yet mostly keeps him separate from everything everlock has touched and tarnished. i like to imagine bretman is her secret and crutch for moving forward, into a future that won't ever have manny again. he acts almost like a replacement in her heart. makes that loss hurt a little less. and i also think matthew can tell that's what it's about, naturally causing some resentment on his end ... because to him, manny can't be replaced. nobody can. it's why we have to do this, nikita! in lots of ways, he views her more 'healthy' behavior as her giving up on this, on them, and he loathes it.

but, obviously, nikita's behavior isnt healthy and mat ( in typical him fashion, where it concerns her ) is completely misreading her actions. nikita isn't acting callously, she's just scared. it's not about forgetting or pretending, it's a matter of selfish safety she's more hellbent on having than ever before. putting her heart out there only for it to be crushed beneath the grim world she now knows they're apart of? putting hope out there, indulging in wishful thinking and fantasy, just for those dreams to be taken from her, again? it's staggering losses she's nervous to take, and she's already made this mistake with manny ; believing he could live despite the odds, trusting in a faulty system, seeing a light at the end of the tunnel that would have them stepping out into the morning together ... but she was wrong. manny surviving all those challenges, even ones he shouldn't have, was nothing more than being lucky. a fluke, if she could be that cruel and discredit his skills so easily. in the end, he was still ripped away, in a way so horrible, nikita might secretly wish he would've just died beforehand. hope and optimism are soiled for her, reality is all that's left. you see this no nonsense attitude from her a lot in s3 to begin with! she's keenly aware of their time limit and keeps their group moving onward, sparing little theatrics on the dead bodies of innocents paving their way. vocally acknowledges that whoever was chosen to be brought back could arrive pissed and vengeful, openly calling attention to the fact it's likely for vendettas to breed when the game they're playing isn't blameless. really, the troublemaker is more calculated and clever than most fans give her credit for, in my opinion. these are traits normally passed over to mat instead, despite his intense emotions getting the best of him multiple times in the show! he is prone to listen to his heart and his grievances, weaponizing grudges when he deems it fitting while nikita is forced to swallow them, and really let them go because emotions hinder her determination and path forward. it's no different here ... except isn't it? just a little bit? nikita falters under her own desires for things to be as they were and she can't fully fight the need to see manny again, or to save the day when she feels responsible for so much pain that night.

though this goes against some core traits of hers and i think that's where the struggle really lies. i want to see manny, but what if he hates me? would i rather live in a world where he can hate me or would i rather stay in one where he'll never get that chance? very selfish of her, i suppose, to potentially value those things over an entire human life, but it's so realistic and human i can't help but sympathize. especially when she sets aside everything she thinks anyway! the troublemaker goes into purgatory knowing it might fail, and that if it does, it's going to reopen every wound she's haphazardly stuck bandaids over. she knows bretman might see her for who she truly is, a liar and a killer and a betrayer and someone who can't love another enough, and forces him to come because fine, it's the end isn't it? and most importantly nikita goes in thinking she could be turned on and hated and this is exactly the reality she faces with colleen, leaving her frustrated, and angry, and turning her shame into vitriol just like before. post s4, with bretman pissed at her, mat broken, joey gone, and everything destroyed again ... nikita then has little else to do ( in her mind ) except to move on for good this time. here might come the pretending act : shrugging off devastating losses and a world full of horror, settling into strange contentment after everything. a false calm, but one she'd wear perfectly nonetheless. would probably quit the society and go back to mundane things, like shopping sprees and creation. live a quiet life. everlock, purgatory, and the year between nothing more than the teardrops on her face and a man she still can't rid herself of. she can't look colleen or bretman in the eye. little things carry over into her manicured life : a refusal to wear pink despite forever adorning blonde hair, never holding the cool steel of a gun in two hands, doesn't say “i love you,” anymore, and plenty of other burdens. but she tries to ignore these signs as much as possible.

still, nikita seems healthy when compared to mat! at least there's a level of acceptance from her, at least she no longer holds the dead. maybe she's too keen on shoving them away now -- but maybe it's a better alternative, when paired with the detective's obsession with them? so much of mat post s3 or even post s4 to me is about his love and desperation outweighing logic, reality, and whatever else stands in his way. stubborn in all the wrong ways for all the wrong reasons. he is a character who needs to be loved and he found a group ( as imperfect as it was ) who adored him so much they wouldn't even let him stay dead. it's a turning point he can't go back from, because now mat owes these people everything. it doesn't matter to him that, really, only safiya and joey brought him back ... because when he stumbled through that door, everyone was so happy. they smiled and grabbed at him and it's probably the most welcome he's ever felt! it's a warmth he won't ever feel again but is chasing. so unlike nikita he can't play into denial. he can't move on or confront what'll happen if he fails. he can't fail, not again, because mat has to save somebody and he has to make the pain worth it. he was killed by the strongman? well, at least it wasn't manny, at least it wasn't permanent, at least mat came back to nothing but love and affection, and how could he ever trade that for anything? all his friends died because of a game they were forced to play? well, mat's out of everlock, he's free, he doesn't need to play by invisible rules anymore and he can bring everyone back and they can be together, and then the suffering will pale in comparison to the reunion awaiting them, right? it's scary for him to consider death and what it means : being forgotten, having everything you've done amount to nothing, laying in the dark of some terrible night all alone, permeant. so he does whatever he can to rebel against these fears that he believes are universal, but are merely his own. he'll get his hands on everything his group was in ( pictures, videos, articles, ) and he'll religiously consume them to remember. he'll think of them always, as ghosts in the corner of his eye, and will never do a single action without thinking about them in some way, to make them still amount to something beyond the veil. he'll heroically save them from a permanent slumber, like they did for him, so they can lay in the sun or in the comfort of a shared room and they can be permanently alive, at least for now. it's loving and it's devotional and it shows how deeply matthew cares and how big his heart is, but it's selfish too.

mat is preventing himself from pain this way, necessary pain. he's stalling the grieving process by entertaining a world in which they'll all be saved and will be able to move on together. he's leaving his wounds open and prodding at them so they won't ever close because finding a life outside of this is horrifying for him. and reasonably so! he died, and now he's just back? he's supposed to ... what, exist? be his old self? what's the protocol for revival? is he allowed to mourn someone he still is, or is he meant to pretend it's a life continued rather than a brand new one? scary ideas, scary theories, not a single guiding hand in sight. clinging to everlock and who he was then is safe, it's who he is now. except, is it? or is that the identity he's carved for himself because facing this world with brand new eyes makes him want to die? how can he move on from the very place he died in? it doesn't seem fair! or ... right. it's unnatural and mat is confused and he's floundering. clinging is all he can think to do. this also shuts him off from forming new connections or rekindling with old ones and that's safe too, not having to look at someone and think about if they'd survive the vote. if they could make it to the end with him, if it ever happened again. it also doesn't help that mat just has a chronic 'i'm a good guy!' problem and if he can undo everything he won't have to confront the fact he's not as perfect as he thought he was. like, while nikita is scared of hope and what it might do to her, mat is scared to look in the mirror and acknowledge he'd do anything to survive. that he's callous and cruel, that he's someone who would save his own skin rather than sacrifice himself for another. that's not who he is -- was? identity is a huge part of his conflict here!

it's a big bag of worms! there's many complexities at play, butting heads with their new natures and desires ... with each other too, clearly. mat obsessively drowns in the past and only works towards his ideal future ( i don't even think s4's failure would deter him ) and everything else just falls in-between. nikita lives life normally for once and maybe tentatively branches out to find new friends again, just because it's a sign she's making progress and it's something that'll show mat that moving on is possible, thanks. ways of dealing that take them down different roads eventually but they'll never let each other go so there's that new constant at least! and they're both actively hiding all the while, whether they know it or not. tragic!

anyway, i know this is ungodly long and ramble-y but i do hope it somewhat answered your question! i know i mostly talked about their mindsets and inner workings rather than what they specifically do in the aftermath, but! i think you can infer a lot based on their mindsets here. like, oh mat would rather start a scrapbook full of dead people's photos he's lovingly collected versus ... taking up journaling. nikita would rather follow an online course on cooking just because she's bored as fuck versus ... reaching out to the society so she can train with swords again. that kinda thing <3

[ricky-mortis]

Goofy little ACM doodle :)

[caruliaa]

my secret evil hot take is a still rly like tcb but i feel like i def prefer starkids stuff overall to theirs

[uhhhitsme]

do you. do you. do you ever think about the cognitive dissonance owen experienced post fall. missing what he had with curt but also wishing that he'd never gotten so tangled up with him in the first place. hating him and wanting him back all the same. like do you think about owen spasming in pain when he tries to walk for the first time and thinking that curt did this to him, that loving curt did this to him, that if he had never let himself fall for curt he wouldn't be here, but also when a particular song comes on the radio he wishes he could dance with curt one last time. or how the first time he has to patch himself up alone, after, he yearns to be able to let curt take care of it, like all the other thousand times curts taken care of him, but also how every time he sees the scars from the fall he remembers that curt was the reason he got them. do you ever think about how he loves curt, and because of that he was tortured for months on end and his body was changed irreversibly and he was left with bone chilling trauma he could never begin to address. but also that he loves curt, who held him and kissed him and saved his life a hundred different times, who taught him how to live a life that was something so much more than survival.

do you ever think about how owen got to have something warm and lovely and bright, for just a moment. that briefly, owen got to be happy. and because of it, owen lost everything. that the reason he ended up so hurt and alone was because he allowed himself to have something good. or are you like, sane and normal.

[ech0light]

JUST WATCHED THE LAST 2 EPISODES OF PERSONS OF INTEREST SEASON 2 HAS ANYONE ELSE SEEN THIS SHIT PLEASE

[drakkonyan]

I suspect checking on most human interactions I've had in the past day and analyzing if they are apropiate or not and feeling proud when they are and doom when they are not MAYYYYY not be normal and neurotypical behavior, idk

[i-exist-solely-for-fandom]

I’ve spent so much time making gifs lately it’s so bad