#like they're soooo uncomfortable is hard to watch

[chirpsythismorning]

Reading reddit bro theories can actually be fun and educational if it's just speculation about the supernatural happenings and the lore surrounding everything going on, completely seperate from byler. Now I wouldn't say this about all of them or the posts on there, but a select few do get input in the comments from people that are smart.

And this is because a lot of them are nerds. Like they know about weird shit most people don't. I remember reading something a while back about the significance of shadows in the story and someone went into grave detail about how it made sense for the revelation of the UD and everything to be tied to the meaning behind this repetition of shadows being talked about throughout the series. And it's like, they're so close. The only problem is they completely ignore a big lens of how to look at the show, so it's not like you can take everything they say as gospel or anything.

But still, it does help to get a different perspective. What happens often with people with differing interpretations is that you'll both tend to miss/pick up on things that others don't! And so there are pros to getting some brainstorming about theories over there... but then there's also the con of homophobia so its like, I'd rather not.

[neoraso]

riize when they're jealous

shotaro

is a little oblivious at first- for example: tries to make friends with the guy

then as the conversation drags on and taro realizes this guy is barely acknowledging him,, and is literally only talking to you he gets pretty uncomfortable

you are also getting uncomfortable and shotaro notices so he finds a way to quickly end the conversation (pretending you had somewhere else to be or smth)

he doesn't get too down about if afterwards and definitely doesn't blame you for anything he just tries to make jokes about how attractive you are "people just can't stay away from you! you're like the flower to a bee （⌒▽⌒）”

but honestly, it still irks him a bit. pls make sure to give him at least one kiss and remind him he's ur shining star

eunseok

def not the type to be worried about you around his friends or your male friends.. but random guys actually hitting on you in real.

he would never admit to being jealous, he tries to tell himself he's just annoyed with the guy or like.. worried for your safety which- um ok wtv

that being said ,, when he does get this way he goes completely cold. hard frown, glaring eyes, clenched jaw etc. etc.

he's very confident in your relationship but something about the highly unrealistic possibility that you could be swayed to leave him ruffles his feathers to say the least

i hope no one would be bold enough to try to hit on you WHILE you're with him because he'd immediately get in front of you and confront the guy "who even are you? what do you need to talk to her for?"

sungchan

oh dear lord.... it's not good. like he wont hurt anyone but sometimes wants to. like,,,

ok it depends if you were far away talking to a guy he would immediately come over and wrap his arm around you and goes "who's this." and ur like PLS don’t do anything embarrassing 😳

it’s to the point he does not want to hear about your past relationships (unless it was like a serious conversation) bc it makes his skin crawl thinking about another person touching his girl

he trusts his friends but it will take a bit of convincing to trust your friends. not bc he doesn’t have faith in you he would just get pissed at other people thinking they had a chance

i’m making him sound like a freak but he’s very open and vocal about how he feels and wants to work on it with you - but he’s always gonna be protective like a guard dog

wonbin

he’s like ., quiet possessive (?) he's just like " ur only my baby right?" wants you all to himself, near him as much as possible

jokingly says you can’t watch other groups but is like ..half joking he lowkey doesn’t want you thinking other guys are cooler than him

it really just comes down to the fact that he doesn't want to lose you.

if there was a real situation where someone was like actually flirting with you, he would get soooo sulky. - like comes over to you and puts his hand on your back, smiling at you like everything is fine 🙂( 😐)

but when he hears you say "yes, this is my boyfriend i was telling you about." his chest puffs up and he’s like jumping for joy inside T_T needs extra kisses too afterwards

seunghan

you are his baby and is very clear about it in public . always has his hands on you so it would be insane for someone to hit on you but if he walked away and someone approached u…

hhhhh lowkey gets an attitude … mostly with the other guy like tongue in cheek “is this guy serious…”

honestly kind of confrontational “can i help you? what do you need from my girlfriend?” can be intimidating when he wants to and makes sure people know he is NOT playing around

first makes sure you’re ok and then he’s like “wtf.. do i have to give you an ‘i ♡ my bf’ shirt or smth”

with his and your friends he doesn’t have a problem he trusts you all the way he just gets offended when people don’t get the hint that you’re taken

sohee

surprisingly, gets more jealous than you’d expect like sometimes ur like ???

he really just wants all your attention and if other guys try to take it he’s like . abt to start barking

that being said he trusts you 100% but when you notice his smile is like 10% less bright than usual and you ask what’s wrong he’s like “OHHH nothing -_- i just can’t believe i’m up against the whole city bc you’re so pretty. what am i to do ?”

ur just like 😭my sweet boy !! give him a kiss he’ll be cured and recovers pretty quickly

kind of is one that doesn’t really like you having male friends but he doesn’t want to control you so he’s doing deep breathing exercises if you’re really involved in a conversation with someone that isn’t him.

anton

ohhh sweet sweet anton. honestly ! doesn’t get too jealous

like he gives u your space if you’re talking to another guy but if they start subtly hitting on you he’s like ?

will bring it up to you later when you’re sitting with him like stroking your arm and he’s like “sooooo that guy ..” and ur like oh 🙄that was so annoying. did it upset you? :( and he’s like “um . i mean… well not really it was just weird ..”

will appreciate your reassurance more than he shows you

might be one to be insecure with you around the members just because you would get so close to them he’s like ha…. what if they got even closer … but then he remembers none of you would ever do that then he just hugs you a little tighter

[daenystheedreamer]

faith dashboard simulator

💙 maidenlover Follow

its actually so faithphobic that so called "friends of rhaena" have appropriated maiden devotion... it sexualises a very personal relationship with a real facet of the seven that many of us have ACTUALLY DEVOTED OUR LIVES TO

⚢ rhaelissatruther

girl you forgot to private your likes you're one of us

💎 mothermaidenhoe

🕯️traedwyfe Follow

🎶 red orange yellow green blue indigo purples in the sky

summer's in the air and baby, seven heavens' in your eyes 🎶

#the rainbow faith #rainbow not rhaena #laena of dell rae AKA the lady bard #dollaette #coqaette #faithofthesevenedit #please i'm a star #septa urge #lady manipulator #light acaedaemia

⚔️ knightofthefaith

FUCK they're sending me to be the septon of the night's watch... girl you know what they do to sexy slender wide eyed septons like myself!!!

#PRAYING theyre sexy murderers not uggo ones... manifesting

⭐️ brideofhugor Follow

No. You know what? F*** Y'ALL.

As many of you know I have recently been assigned to a certain castle in the stormlands and have been aiding the maester in reorganising the large library.

I just found several illuminated manuscript of an er*tic nature detailing s*xual acts of septas and septons. Including one of Hugor (blessed he be) Himself.

I don't expect much of you SINNERS (we all know of the recent poll circulating...) but sexualising those who devote themselves to loving only the gods... and crucially making the choice to remain celibate in this mission... the audacity. Enjoy the Seven Hells!

🫦 swordinyourstar

im gonna go to a septry fuck all those bald brothers so hard the hair in their tonsures grow back cos my seed is THAT strong

#why are they called holy brothers if im not supposed to fuck their holes

🔘 old-friends-senior-seven-septry-deactivated-101AC

I just want to get dicked down again =/

🌠 faith-struggle-posts

official faith struggle post

🌟 starrysepta

i do finally feel at home finally out of my noviciate and as a full septa of the faith but they do NAWT tell you how catty your sisters will be... they sent me to a motherhouse in the WESTERLANDS just outside of lannisport 💀 if another one of these fake bitches tries currying favour with house lannister im gonna get myself sent to the silent sisters.

🌟 starrysepta

beheading myself omg another suspiciously blonde-haired green-eyed hill surname haver has joined the noviciate please mother above get me reassigned to the vale id rather risk getting stolen by a mountain clansmen over having to deal with this whore

#girl he's not gonna legitimise you #and she's having an affair with the laybrother too but like whatever im not a lickspittle

🪽 rivermaiden

the mother of my motherhouse 100% got dicked by our local lord back in the day maybe now too and its ruining my life. she keeps speaking in metaphors about the warrior entering the maiden and its making everyone soooo uncomfortable. AND he's the lord of a certain castle in the riverlands stars with h ends in arrenhal and i swear he's bringing the fucking demons into our sept everytime he visits

#cryyyyingggg i survived the riverlands for one-and-twenty years only to die of blood curse cos knights love chasing septa pusswah omg cant have shit in the riverlands

🌈 septa-septon-suggestions Follow

forever hoping that the light of the seven will one day shine over all westeros ✨

🍁 hearttreehugger Follow

don't go near any weirwoods bitch im watching you 👁️

[babyjakes]

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | kinkmas 2023

prompt | harness

pairing | daddy!dom!ari levinson x little!sub!reader

warnings | ddlg and dom/sub dynamics (daddy dom!ari and little sub!reader.) me not knowing anything about handiwork lol. reader struggles to ride. size kink. minimal foreplay (pussy rubbing, nipple play.) reference to rope play. p in v sex, protection unspecified. riding (with help lol.) safeword reminder. mostly sweet praise and encouragement, a little bit of mocking/humiliation tho (he calls reader a whore once.) they come together :D!!! orgasm from penetration. he comes inside. soft sweet reassurance/beginning of aftercare at the end.

word count | 1,284

an | kind of scared that people might not like this one, but i've had this fantasy for soooo long lol i just had to finally put it out there. something about a big beefy daddy laying back and casually tugging at a rope (WITH BIG ARM BC. I LOVE ARM) as he pleases to fuck his pretty little baby up and down along his cock, ,, it gets to me 🤤 also if you're confused by the logistics of the harness, i made diagrams 😭

thinking about daddy dom ari with his sweet little subby baby who has a hard time riding him (understandably!!)

you're such a good girl, you try so so hard but it's just too much 🥺 you get up there and he's soo huge you can barely take all of him. and even if you do manage to lower yourself all the way down onto his massive length, then you have to find some way to move yourself up and down along him?? poor baby, it's just too difficult 😔

so daddy comes up with a brilliant idea, he's gonna install some very special hardware in the bedroom to help with your little problem

he makes an entire day of it. mapping out the blueprint in a notebook, checking to make sure there's a sturdy ceiling beam overhead, researching the best parts to buy on his laptop as you lay comfortably at his side, snuggling into him

the harness itself he orders online, custom-made for your measurements. you're curious and ask to see, but he wants it to be a surprise. he makes a list of the rest of the parts and takes you with him to the hardware store. you get to ride in the cart as he's picking everything out 🥺

"you excited, baby?" he asks on the way home as you hum along softly to the radio. he's smiling as you nod sweetly, reaching over to brush back your hair. "gonna make sure everything's right for my little girl," he promises. "just gotta be a little patient when we get home, sweetheart. you can watch daddy work if you want"

you're a little intimidated when you see it starting to come together. he installs the eye hook as the system's anchor in the ceiling and puts together the pulley system with the sturdy rope he bought. he sees your wide eyes and comes over to kiss your forehead, promising, "don't worry, baby. it'll all be safe. daddy's making sure of it"

a few days later, the harness arrives in the mail. he brings you to the bedroom and has you undress, helping you into it. it's not too bulky or uncomfortable, but sturdy enough to be safe. your heart melts as you see the baby pink and white accents he chose. "so pretty, daddy!" you cheer as he undresses himself and climbs up to lay in the center of your shared bed

he gets you sitting up on his thighs, facing him. your poor pussy leaks excitedly as your legs are spread by the wide straps wrapped around your upper thighs. "you wanna play with daddy a little, baby?" he prompts as he softly begins to run his fingers over your bare mound

you take his big cock in your hands, teasing gently at it as he works your clit in circles for a bit with his thumb to warm you up. with the other hand, he's adjusting the ropes to make sure they're all untangled and ready for when he wants to strap you in for your first ride 🤠

his dick and your cunt are both twitching in anticipation. ari can see you eyeing the contraption a bit warily. "you're okay, baby," he hums as he brings a hand up to pinch and tweak at one of your nipples, making you whimper. the harness is conveniently designed similarly to a lot of your daddy's rope work, tightening around the breasts and thighs to keep you prone and in place

he waits for some of the apprehension to leave your face. finally asking, "you ready, sweetheart? you gonna let daddy setb you up in your pretty new harness?" your eager nodding is all the convincing it takes

he buckles you in with the safety-grade carabiners, giving the rope a gentle tug as a test. it jerks you up slightly, bouncing you on his legs. he gives you a wide, nearly greedy smile "okay baby, let's get you up on daddy's dick"

he tugs again, helping you up a bit into the air (though your legs are still resting some on the bed below) and moves you over with the other hand to position you over his hardened length. all you have to do is sit in the pretty gear and let your daddy do as he pleases. he positions his tip at your dripping entrance, gently easing you down onto him as he loosens the tension on the rope little by little. you let out such a sweet moan as you're filled to the brim, your eyes rolling back slightly in delight 😍

"shit, princess," ari takes a moment to adjust to your tiny little pussy swallowing him up. he tightens his grip on the rope, his voice low and rumbly, "you gonna be a good girl and let daddy fuck you now? that's it baby, just let daddy do the work"

he tries to go easy to start but part of him can't help it; he's been waiting for this moment for so long. he gives you a few pumps up and down on him at a gentle pace, but the feeling of you bouncing like that so effortlessly and the sight of your mouth falling open as your sweet little cries intensify quickly cause him to start acting with abandon

the system works so well, it looks like it's straight out of a porno. ari lays back, groaning deeply as he jerks at the rope at whatever pace he pleases. the way his arm looks when he flexes is so 😮‍💨each tug bounces your perfect form against him, your poor insides aching in pleasure as he rams right up against your ceiling

"d-... d-... daddy!" you sob, your little hands flailing a bit as you grow increasingly overwhelmed by his forceful pace

his eyes flash with a hint of satisfaction at your adorable undoing. "c'mon baby, you can take it. remember your word," he reminds you as he uses his free hand to gather both of your wrists and secure them tightly behind your back. you're left completely helpless, nothing but a living, breathing toy for your daddy to use

"d-daddy, it's s-so much... 'm gonna..." he's grinning wider as he sees your impending orgasm; it's rare for you to come from penetration alone

"oh are you, sweetheart? are you gonna be a good little whore and come for daddy? such a dirty girl, getting off on daddy fucking you like this"

"mmmhhh.... d-daddy!!" you're squealing as you squeeze down on his slippery cock. the sight of you coming like this nearly sends him over the edge, he quickens his pace, tugging more forcefully at the rope to bounce your poor little pussy over him faster

"fuck, baby. daddy's gonna come," he growls, tightening his grip on your wrists as his face contorts with concentration. "you want me to fill you up, princess? want daddy to come in that sweet baby cunt of yours?"

"y-yes please, daddy! please, please fill me up! please, want your come!!"

he lets go of the rope just in time, letting you slam down against him as he hits his peak. he grabs your waist to hold you firmly in place as his seed shoots up into you, your walls fluttering in sync with his dick's throbbing

when you both start to come down, you slump forward onto your big daddy bear 😮‍💨he's rubbing your back, whispering so sweetly in your ear, "good girl, so good for me, baby. so proud'a you, did so well. i'm here, sweet girl. daddy's here"

hmmm yeah i don't even care if no one else is into this, this is MY dream scenario let me have it 😭😭

[ticklishfiend]

FEEL FREE TO USE THIS PROMPT WITH WHOEVER YOU WANT. WHATEVER YOU WANT. IF YOU WANT TO USE IT. it's horribly evil and i trust you with it:

character a wanting tickles in some way, and character b (who knows about their deal and is totally being evil) picking up on it and character b somehow "forgets" what tickling is and how to do it and needs a little memory boost, convincing character A to explain it to them and tell them exactly what to do in order to get what they want 😌

"where do i put my hands?" / "now what?" / "where else should i try?"

- 🍓

i never finished this and im soooo sorry dude, i fell out of my hyperfixation and the motivation just floated out of my body bruh. anyways, here's the unfinished drabble, i hope u like it anyways!!

-

Aziraphale shifted in his seat. Crossed his legs, then uncrossed them immediately because it felt wrong. He rubbed his forearms against the couch arms uncomfortably, nails picking at the fabric. 

Aziraphale knew why he felt so off. But admitting it feels so improper. 

Instead, his eyes stayed fixed on Crowley lounging about on his designated couch spot. Aziraphale waited anxiously for him to notice how off he was acting. 

Crowley continued picking at his nails, not even bothering to look up at him. The one time Aziraphale wouldn’t mind a little teasing behavior from Crowley and he’s looking at his hand. 

Fine. Fine. He’ll say something, something small to get Crowley jump started. It never takes much to get him going anyways, so Aziraphale will have him in no time. 

“Ahem,” Aziraphale fake-coughed, a little obvious but if it works it works. Crowley looked up, brows furrowing at Aziraphale’s tense form, noticing his finger tapping impatiently at the arm. 

“You alright?”

Aziraphale gave a small shy smile, not looking Crowley in the eyes. His own nails seemed of more interest all of a sudden. “Just feeling…a bit antsy, is all, dear.”

“Oh,” Crowley squinted his eyes, suspicious and curious. “Any particular reason you’re so jittery? Got ants in your pants, angel?”

“Nothing of the sort.”

They were both quiet for a moment. A staring contest. Well, Crowley stared him down at least. Azirphale actually did everything but stare. 

Crowley hummed, going back to his hand. 

Are you actually joking.

Aziraphale huffed. Okay fine. Again. Maybe Crowley’s just a bit slow today. Yeah, that’s it. He needs a more obvious push. It’s more embarrassing, sure, but the metaphorical ants in his pants feel like they're crawling around faster now and he’s gonna need some relief soon. 

So Aziraphale took a big, long stretch. His arms raised above him, a satisfying groan just to call Crowley’s attention to his very exposed and vulnerable torso. And, of course, this did catch Crowley’s eye. 

He chuckled. Bingo. 

“Can’t keep still today, can ya?” Crowley sat on the edge of his seat, elbow propped on his knee to rest his chin in his hand. He watched Aziraphale settle back into his chair with a grin. “Anything I can do for you? Anything at all?”

Aziraphale felt himself will back a blush. “Oh, well, I…I’m not sure. Anything you’d like, I’m sure I’d appreciate.”

“Mm…” Crowley hummed with a smile, eyes trailing Aziraphale up and down. Aziraphale was having a really hard time looking at him right now, it was very cute. “Seriously, angel, I’m not sure how to help you here. I cooould…make you some tea? Maybe grab some cakes by the coffee shop?” Crowley really couldn’t keep that cheeky grin off his face for a second, could he? “But maybe you can throw some suggestions out since my mind is drawing quite the blank.”

Aziraphale truly couldn’t tell if he was being serious. Was that smile devious or just him offering a nice gesture? Crowley had his sweet moments, if anyone would know it’d be Aziraphale, but was this that?? It didn’t really feel like it, but he didn’t want to flub. 

“Maybe we could figure something out easier if I…sat next to you?” 

“Brilliant idea,” Crowley sat back against the cushion, patting the spot next to him. “Make yourself comfy.” 

Aziraphale threw a tight smile his way as he got up, feeling very peculiar about this whole thing. Usually Crowley jumped right into this, eager to get his hands on him and make Aziraphale cackle. Now Crowley’s acting like he’s never tickled him a day in his life. 

Aziraphale hopes his brain is just working slower today than usual. The alternative is something he’s becoming very wary over. 

Finally seated, Aziraphale sat up straight as a board. He knew exactly what he was doing, too. If he looks too tense or stiff, Crowley always finds the excuse to tickle him into relaxing. Really, Aziraphale can be quite the schemer when he wants to be. 

Crowley just watched him for a moment, taking notice each time Aziraphale nervously glanced his way. Crowley reached and gave Aziraphale a soothing rub up and down his back, not stopping when Aziraphale tried flinching away. 

“Wow, you’re tense. Really, I’d love to help, but you are funny about your massages,” Crowley purred, giving Aziraphale a pat on the back before leaning back. 

Aziraphale ringed his hands. “Ah, yes well, that’s only sometimes,” he bluffed, trying to find any excuse to get Crowley’s dexterous fingers on him right this second. “I don’t think a massage sounds so bad right now, actually.”

Crowley chuckled, “Really? Usually you get all huffy when I offer you one of my famous massages,” he squeezed Aziraphale’s shoulder, which would’ve felt affirming if not for the teasy tone lacing Crowley’s voice right now. What a devil. 

Aziraphale did get huffy at that. “Well that’s because you always…” he waved his hand about in the air as if it would jog Crowley’s memory of all the very tickly massages he’s given Aziraphale in the past. Innocent rubs and firm presses to start, but eventually Crowley always trailed a little too close to Aziraphale’s sides, a little too gently, everything was always a little too much. Admittedly, Aziraphale thought that sounded perfect for his current mood. 

But Crowley just quirked his head, like a confused puppy. “What are you on about?” he pressed, before physically adjusting Aziraphale to lay down on the couch, back up. Crowley straddled his waist, “I always what?”

Aziraphale’s face felt like it could burn through the pillow he hid himself in. “You do know. Stop messing about.”

“Angel, if I knew what you were talking about…” Crowley leaned his face close into Aziraphale’s exposed ear, giving a hard press into his shoulder blades. His breath tickled as he whispered, “…don’t you think I’d be doing it right now?”

Oh for heaven's sake. Aziraphale felt he could bust through the seams with how on edge he was at the moment. He felt squirmier, hands pressing into spots in an extremely un-ticklish manner that made him want to whine. This is so unfair. Crowley knows exactly what he’s doing, he’s figured out a way to make Aziraphale squirm more than usual and he is not taking it for granted.  

Aziraphale’s not sure whether to be excited and thankful, or hit him over the head with his pillow. 

“You’re being cruel,” Aziraphale muttered into his pillow, fingers squeezing the cushion in anticipation. Maybe he’d start when Aziraphale least expected? Maybe Crowley’s getting impatient too? But he couldn’t know any of this for sure, so he had to wait, and isn’t that just the most internally ticklish feeling there was?

“Cruel? I’m giving you a massage, for Satan’s sake. I think if anyone is being cruel it’s you. I know you’ve got something you won’t tell me. I can hear those cogs turning in that pretty little head of yours,” Crowley gave his scalp a quick scratch, chuckling at the flinch that came with it. “Jumpy, are we?”

“Yes, okay? Just get on with it, please. I don’t think I can take much more of this. I’ve gone red, Crowley,” he whined like Crowley had made his body malfunction. He was getting a little desperate now. If his very obvious advances won’t work, asking must do this trick. It had to. 

But Crowley hummed again. And Aziraphale knew he wasn’t finished with his little tricks. 

“Gonna need you to be a little more specific. I’m a bit lost, you see,” Crowley’s hands trailed to hold Aziraphale’s sides firmly. Bastard.  

Aziraphale exhaled deeply into the pillow, close to pulling his hair out. “I would like you to…tickle me. Please.”

There was a hesitant silence, like Crowley was pondering his next move and Aziraphale was waiting with bated breath for it. 

Then Crowley spoke. And Azirphale almost wished he hadn’t of. 

“What’s tickling, dear?”

Fuck. Fuck. 

“Nooo,” Aziraphale groaned, pressing his palms into his eyes, beyond flustered and frustrated. 

“What? I’m not allowed to ask questions now?”

“It seems like asking questions is all you’re doing, actually…”

“I can’t do what you want if I don’t even know the definition,” Crowley said, and Aziraphale could hear the grin in his voice. Sometimes Aziraphale forgets he chooses to room with an actual, real-life demon. “You gettin’ the picture?”

“Cruel. Cruel, wily serpent. Hell spawn, you are.”

“Yeah, don’t wear it out, angel,” Crowley’s hands squeezed a very non-ticklish squeeze against Aziraphale’s sides, as if just to remind him of where he was above him. “Let's get you flipped over. Can't rightly tell me about this whole tickling thing if your face is smushed into the cushion.”

“Hhhnn,” Aziraphale groaned through a whiny giggle, adjusting under Crowley to lay on his back. Having his flushed face now on display is not helping whatsoever. 

Crowley smiled down at him, and Aziraphale swore he saw a forked tongue peek through his sharp teeth. Evil thing. “Why hello there.”

“Hush.”

“I don’t get a hello back?”

“Not after all this teasing you don’t,” Aziraphale would cross his arms if he could, but a certain someone was blocking him with his knees. 

“Teasing? Me? I think you really have lost your marbles, dear. I would do no such thing,” Crowley lied through his teeth, settling on Aziraphale’s waist. His hands drifted back to Aziraphale’s sides, firm all the same. “Now…about this tickling thing?” 

“You know what tickling is, Crowley. Stop messing with me,” Aziraphale stood his ground, though he found it hard to look Crowley in the eyes right now. Something about those pointed irises and the yellow surrounding them felt truly piercing at the moment. Sharp enough to cut through Aziraphale’s wavering boldness. 

“Really, darling, I haven’t a clue. But I'd love to find out if you’d be so inclined?” Crowley caressed Aziraphale’s sides, seemingly to comfort, but the angel nearly shivered. “Especially since you’re so eager for me to figure it out, hm?”

Aziraphale huffed. He’s been huffy since this whole thing started, but now that he can sense what he really wants is just over the horizon, breathing is becoming something of a manual task. “Is this really what it’s going to take?”

Crowley smiled a wicked smile. “I think you’ll find I’m a very fast learner.” 

Aziraphale rolled his eyes, if only to distract himself from that fluttery feeling in his belly at those words. 

Closing his eyes and taking a sigh, Aziraphale was ready to get this over with. “T-tickling is…it’s, well…we created it together many, many years ago. If you touch certain parts of the body, my body, I’ll laugh. Involuntarily. So…” Aziraphale coughed awkwardly. “So there. That’s tickling.”

Crowley snickered. Azirphale shoved at his face playfully, his own face feeling warmed by the second. “You’re terrible, Crowley.”

“Aren’t I just?” Crowley said, taking Aziraphale’s hand and pushing it down against the cushion. “So…parts of your body, huh? Wanna be more specific about that?”

“Goodness gracious, you are insufferable,” Aziraphale chuckled through a whine, twisting the wrist in Crowley’s hand. “My…well, my sides are pretty sensitive.” 

“Sensitive…you mean…?”

“Ticklish, yes, ticklish! Crowley I swear if you d—dohohoahaha-! C-Crohohowley!” Azirpahale giggled happily when he felt precise fingers finally digging into his sides. 

“I think you deserve a little reward for your knowledge,” Crowley grinned, his pinching endless on Aziraphale’s sides. He basked in those silly giggles, happy his little game is over so he can finally hear his angel sing 

[huntershowl]

SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSES SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?

i don't have one particular otp — big ships change depending on the Era hellhound is in!

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

nothing illegal obviously — other than that, aside from long-lifespan characters whose mental maturation is slower, i generally stay away from with 10+ year age gaps when the younger muse is under 20. just feels like a weird power dynamic i guess?

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

yes! ships on this blog cannot be pre-established — i tend to lose interest fast if they don't build up naturally, either through lots of ooc plotting or through writing. on top of that, seph is ... piiiiicky. she has very specific Types. generally, ships with very gentle, soft, mentally well-adjusted characters are possible, but transient — seph falls out of love after a point, but remains staunchly protective of them.

the long and short of the matter is she's a freak, and you kind of have to match that to be compatible as a long-term partner. but even then they don't always line up perfectly! idk. seph's weird. simultaneously very easy to ship with and very hard to ship with.

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

oh i've got lots of good ones going on right now!! pls forgive me for gushing. focusing on currently heavily-plotted and/or written ones for this bit bc otherwise it will be pages and pages!! if i forgot someone you have full permission to impale me on a pike i am SO SORRY. (aka i'll go back and add u in omg)

@vsagis' villain izuku— i had to put u first bc u kickstarted this shipping renaissance. seph and izuku clicked instantly and started a long-term trajectory that i don't think either of us writers expected. they're just freak enough to match each other, just soft enough to genuinely care. we're really putting these two through the horrors(tm) and watching them fall hopelessly, horribly in love. <3

@spiritcrown's pasha — how could i not mention pasha!! i was so happy to see you back, because pasha and seph's relationship was soooo formative for seph's development wrt romance. seph is absolutely, completely and utterly devoted to pasha. they worship at the altar of her. they would bend heaven and raise hell for her.

@crowshoots' jesper — UAHGHGBBHBH INCOHERENT CRYING NOISES. the first thing seph noticed about jesper was extremely respectable fighting skills, but even then they were definitely uhhhh touch and go for a while there before they started to simmer down and. pin each other down and — one thing led to another and jesper's being antagonized by her antagonists and they're too deeply in love to go back!! i love them. i l

@crowgreeds' kaz — HHHHHHHHH god. hi siri i know ur not around the dash much but idc im writing u into this. kaz and seph both have such a darkness in them that the other recognizes and not only feeds, but when necessary, balances. they're ruthless and violent and mean but at the same time, they have such a softness for each other that they both thought was dead. also, you're the recipient of probably the best rp reply i've ever written (that fucking. hellhound kill description. my GOD im feral for seph protecting him)

@tewwor.... goose is2g we really have the creatures ever. litho — FIRST SHIP!!!! FIRST SHIIIP i still cant believe it took 4 irl years for them to finally admit their stupid feelings. now they're soulmates and there's no turning back. he's the reason seph likes poetry in every verse. the softest snarkiest ship. probably the closest to a true YA-style soulmate seph has. she hasn't forgiven him for all the twilight jokes though tough luck jie & ricochet — the boys... the absolute chaos trio... i never expected seph and jie to fall for each other but honestly i should have. he falls so neatly into her "equally feral" type. ricochet is so calm and seph is kind of intoxicated by that. sheathed claws kind of vibe. just love these three their dynamic balances itself so well

@spungolden's dio — two femmes raised as weapons with deeply suppressed emotions, chillin in a murder alley, five feet apart cause theyre not g— (theyre gay. theyre so gay) these two are so sweet they sometimes make me tear up. they skipped the trauma stage and went straight into lesbian domestic fantasy with only occasional murder.

@chaoslulled oh boy(s). toji — brutally in love. they saw and embraced each other's monster, refused to shy away, and now they somehow revolve in this strange orbit of violent and incredibly soft with each other. i think he's the first of the current ship lineup that seph has in-thread said the L-word to. this ship was so easy to jump right into, the chemistry was like lightning in a bottle. satoru — one of the most genuinely unexpected slowburn ships i've stumbled into. these two read each other for filth INSTANTLY as lonely motherfuckers who, in some way or another, had loved and lost. they haven't even gotten to the oh-shit moment in the slowburn yet but i'm lookin forward to it yakuza sukuna — THE PAIN. THE SUFFERING. AUHHHGHGGGG HOL YOU'RE FUCKING KILLING MEEEE. these two are mirrors in the worst possible way. they've got their throats stuck under their boss' boot heels; they've been disfigured, they've had their siblings used as leverage, they've been made into muzzled dogs. despite hating each other at the start, they can't not recognize that, and it's led to this fierce protectiveness that isssss whoops evolving into feelings. i'm sure nothing will go wrong

@eraserisms' shota — AHHHHHHH god okay most of this ship has been pure plotting vibes and responses to memes, but i truly cannot wait to get into writing more of them because they own my heart and soul. i think they know each other to the marrow in a way that's not super common for seph, and the gentleness and caution with which they're starting to explore revisiting their care for each other is heartbreaking in the best way

@sasouken BEE!!!! ok chronologically(??): deku — so precious and wholesome from the start. your honor he's just a little guy with a big dumb crush. when i tell uuuuuu some of our plotting has literally made me tear up a little??? the absolute bleeding heart on this boy??? HURTS ME??? one day they'll hold hands casper — slated to be our angstiest dynamic, i just Know it. two motherfuckers who love their siblings, inextricably involved in a tangled web of crime and violence. two people who have lost so much and don't want to lose anyone ever again. i will die i WILL satoru — such... a different vibe than i was expecting in an amazing way?? his dynamic with seph is so fuckin sweet? so much physical touch born of trust and comfort. also again: her first ever fwb (for now), which is truly a wild thing to experience. sukuna — i .. . dont even know what to say about this one. (affectionate). he unlocked an entirely new dimension of freak in seph's psyche and attraction style that i couldn't comprehend before we started writing them but retrospectively makes so much sense. what the fuck is going on with these two i have no idea but i am OBSESSED with it. also writing them getting down nasty has been extremely fun, i'm enjoying it a lot

there are more sort of beginnings/potentials for ships that haven't been explored yet which i haven't included here, but i'm truly excited to see where each and every one of them goes!!!

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

yes absolutely hahaha — at least communicating ooc about it is necessary! i'm much more comfortable shipping with partners i mesh well with as a mun and have an easy time talking to.

ARE YOU SHIP-OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

LOOK I. LISTEN. LISTEN... IM FERAL FOR SHIPS. FERAL. even though seph is picky about them — and i promise it's not personal if it doesnt work, it truly is just her dumb creature ass being unable to normal.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

N/A for this blog, but as a fun trivia fact, i'm deep in satosugu hell rn

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

it's all vibes babey. we just start writing their non-romantic dynamic buildup, and if it clicks (or even if u just think ur character would have a crush!) we talk about it ooc and plot some more, then plot some more and before u know it, the angst hammer looms over ur head

Tagged by: @bearratic (thank youuuu!!)

Tagging: (points) do it

[mylittleredgirl]

i'm having a time of it where i couldn't look at screens very much, so i haven't been watching or posting as much about m*a*s*h, but you'd better believe that has left me even more time to THINK about m*a*s*h!!!

buckle up: update for season four disc one!

(after welcome to korea, that is, which was another post)

headline: LOVE the new characters!!

bj has somehow already committed arson?? hawkeye, you are SUCH a bad example for your little brother

at some point down the line i'm sure i will stop infantilizing this grown ass man but for now literally everything bj does i'm like. that's a Baby.

especially when he participates in a bit where they're going after frank or margaret, who he literally just met

you know when there's like a ten-year-old with a strong opinion about something, like "that [toy, tv show, video game] SUCKS!" with all the rage and feeling in their world-weary heart

... and then one step behind them is the five-year-old who chimes in "yeah that REALLY sucks!" but with this innocent delight in their eyes, like they have no idea what's going on but they're getting a really good grade in Big Kid

that's BJ, is what i'm saying

and colonel potter! he's regular army!! but it's ok: he drinks

it's soooo perfect that he and bj share their first o.r. scene. the sweet calming mentor energy... i'm luv him.

and then HE SHOOTS THE DEAD JEEP. i'm still laughing about that. if colonel potter never does one more funny thing again he's still the funniest man alive.

meanwhile! we join our established characters already in progress

frank and hawkeye's relationship gets genuinely hostile there for a while. uncomfortably so, even.

and during the week i was too dizzy to sit up and make this post i spent a LOT of time thinking about this!!!

each of them are spinning out for their own reasons, which play out all over this season so far. frank gained and lost the power he wanted so badly. hawkeye lost both his besties at the same time, and the support structure and identity that went along with that.

but also trapper's absence on its own radically changed the swamp boys dynamic!!

frank has always been justifiably hateable, but there was a SPORT to it, you know? hawkeye and trapper were tormenting him largely to entertain each other, which means they did it a lot but only to the point where it was funny

and think about the "but there's no real hate, right?" in O.R., like in frank's mind, they torture him but they're all still buddies!!! (and the occasional peek into frank's sad childhood could explain this perception)

it quickly becomes clear in season 4 that trapper was a tempering influence between hawkeye and frank, who end up in a full on BRAWL

LIKE A DRAWN OUT PHYSICAL FIGHT

also hard to watch: frank wrecking margaret's tent. hmm. mm-mmm. don't like this.

on the other hand, i loved the "i'm here but we're not doing anything!" scene in the next episode when they're playing cards in her tent. they're always slapping or kissing or scheming -- i feel like this is the first time we ever see them just hanging out like friends

… with anyone, actually. like this thirty seconds of a card game just unlocked an unseen part of both their personalities

something subtle is shifting in this relationship. by the end of "the kids," even sober-margaret is getting in on the joke that frank sucks. i await future developments.

THE KIIIIIIIIIIDS

oh god it's so sweet and harmless. it's healing. i love it. i want to roll around in that episode.

i hope "frank scams a purple heart and hawkeye steals it" continues to happen every season, like the mail episodes

i learned that alan alda directed this ep, which means that he made the decision both in front of and behind the camera for hawkeye to make this face as bj tells a bedtime story:

hawkeye!!!! don't fall in love with straight boys!!!!!

other things:

I'M STILL GRIEVING BY THE WAY

THEY CROPPED MY BOY OUT OF THE OPENING SEQUENCE

THEY CROPPED HIMMMMMM

henry blake memorial bar we hardly knew ye 😢

the moment when hawkeye is like yeah bj, just to get you up to speed: henry was basically radar's dad

any time they mention henry or trapper i have feelings but ALSO i have feelings whenever i think maybe they could have mentioned them but didn't. mentioned them IN MY HEART.

i'm a little fixated on the choice to replace henry and trapper, notorious philanderers, with characters who are immediately identified as Wife Guys

genuinely if y'all hadn't told me that mclean stevenson and wayne rogers wanted out, i would have assumed the character shakeup happened specifically for that reason!

totally other topic but i'm definitely missing some kind of joke here and it's driving me nuts: every time a british character shows up they're heavily spray-tanned. what does it meeeeaaaan??

and lastly. best part of "the bus" is the knowledge that somewhere off-screen, margaret, klinger, and the nurses are running the camp.

[gabessquishytum]

(the no sex ed au anons are all visionaries)

The belly holding and breast development asks have me thinking about all the physical discomforts Dream goes through.

He is fine with it, sure the breast and hip and back pain and the kicks aren't great, but all of it shows how much his body is working for their baby! He feels so goddamn heavy and big but that is good because their baby is growing so well! And bras are annoying but look at how much milk his body is producing for their baby! There's not a lot of fun in labor, let alone birth, but he knows the pain is due to how big he has been able to grow their baby and how hard his body is working to bring their child into the world. Dream is happy to endure all the discomforts in the world for their baby and he cannot wait to do it again. But Hob had to help him out a lot and the baby is a lot of (loving) work, so Hob surely doesn't want another child for a couple of years...

Hob, though, needs some more convincing. He loves their baby more than anything and he's not gonna lie, Dream being pregnant has led to multiple entries on the "sexiest experiences of my life" list. But his poor boyfriend was so uncomfortable throughout and he was definitely struggling towards the end. He wants another kid with Dream, for sure, but there's no way Dream would want that again anytime soon....

They're idiots your honor

I love this soooo much. Like, misunderstandings plus breeding kink plus these two being stupid?? Absolutely ideal.

I'm just. Thinking about Dream watching Hob with their baby, taking on night feeds and cleaning up after blowouts and smelling faintly of baby sick. And Dream has never been so attracted to anyone in his life and he WANTS so desperately (he's so horny, they're trying to keep up a fairly active sex life and Dream has nothing to complain about but God. He wants.) and he can't stop thinking about how much he wants a second pregnancy.

Meanwhile Hob is rocking the baby on his shoulder and looking at pics of Dream when he was pregnant and having A Moment because he's too tired to get hard but. He wants to do that to Dream again. Make his boyfriend round and soft and lovely with another child.

The funniest outcome is that they get so horny they forget to be careful and have another Oops baby. But I like to think that they'd eventually have a sensible conversation about how big their family should get and how they can cater to their needs through roleplay and fantasy.

But they're allowed to be idiots for a bit longer. Just a lil bit.

[ineffable-monster-romancer]

Glass Onion Things 3rd Rewatch

Blanc on the discord call: "The last thing I need is a vacation" Blanc to Miles when he offers him Jared Leto's Hard Kombucha: "Well I AM on vacation"

I'm sorry I know it's old news, but everyone falling about coughing and spluttering with the shot and Blanc's polite "ahem". I would say Whiskey is the most subdued next to Blanc?

"The question isn't why did he invite her, it's why did she show up?" Noooo, I really think the question is why was she sent an invite.

The joke "piceshite" about the docks I don't know if people picked up on it immediately and that was the joke that it went right over their heads but as a Scottish gal Piece eh shite had me absolutely in stitches

Also why would he assume it was a Banksy? Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't Banksy famously very anti-capatalist? Like didn't he have one of his most famous paintings shredded immediately after auction or something?

Someone find that tweet that talks about how rich people are more likely to pursue the arts because they have the liberty of time because they're fuckin rich, and apply that to Miles knowing how to play guitar (or at least a bit of it).

WHY IS THE GUITAR THE ONLY MOMENT WE SEE THE BIRDIE FACADE TRULY DROP? Is it an acting choice? Is it a gag? Also when he drops the guitar that Paul wrote blackbird onto the sand (scratches, bumps, dings omfg) nobody says anything, but when Helen takes that fuck off mace to the piano the first comment is "that belonged to Liberace". Shows they don't care about the origins really, just who does what with it

Watching Claire be soooo uncomfortable with that Miles hug, watching Miles be soooo uncomfortable with that Duke hug, watching Duke be soooo uncomfortable with that Whiskey hug, watching Miles and Lionel both be uncomfortable in their strange 4 millisecond greeting.

Someone said in the tags of one of my other posts that Derol represents Covid and I'm just OBSESSED with that. BUT more obsessed with the thought that Derol is the epitome of lockdown. He's what normal, everyday fuckers like you n me went through. Drinking, smoking, "going through some stuff", being alone. Sometimes we would comment on what the elite were up to, but mostly we were in the background to their extravagant parties. But in the end, when the Glass Onion is exploding, Blanc sits and smokes with him, because they're just two dudes who went through hell in lockdown, watching something funny.

Miles walking away from the bags, shoves between Duke and Whiskey, putting his arm over Dukes shoulders (hilarious because the size difference) and an arm round Whiskey's waist, but Birdie then jumps between Miles and Whiskey and bumps her out of the way

Why when Whiskey is walking along the slats is she purposely walking on the gravel between the wood? Why does she give Duke into trouble for also standing on the wood? Why does Duke then correct his feet to stand on the gravel?

The Chakra that we can see are absolutely wild, like holy shit

Birdie - Sacral - Sexuality and creativity

Whiskey - Heart - Love and healing

Andi - Root - Basic Trust - Survival

Blanc's bumbling Southern gentleman fool act is AMAZING. They all KNOW he's the world's greatest detective. But while he's bumbling up and down "oh my word it's full of stars!" He's being his own Glass Onion! He's hiding directly in plain sight

"Simple Children's Puzzles" MILES FACE babe he's the world's greatest detective

PREDEFINITE DETECTIVE. Prerequisite maybe? But even that doesn't make sense? Prominent?

BIRDIE GIVING IT THE SEXIEST CATWALK OF THE WORLD YES GIRL HOLY SHIT

Lionel and Claire 😏 you know? The fact that he's leaning right over her to see the laptop, and her dressing gown is off her shoulder but as soon as Birdie shows up they're leaving six feet for god

Benoit Blanc's little bathing suit with his little matching ascot and his little moccasins and it HAS POCKETS shut up he's the new Poirot shut up he's the new Sherlock that's fuckin Fred Jones.

PANCAKED. He's the only one to say pancaked, it intentionally sticks in your brain

DONG.

Claire and Lionel are the only "intellects" in the friend group. Like Claire is a politician and Lionel is a scientist, a lot more hangs on their words than Model and Twitch Streamer

Duke leaving his shit in the pool, firing his gun, wearing his speedos and throwing his macho man facade about. It's so gross it's amazing.

You never know when shits gonna go down is such a red herring in dukes relationship to the gun. It immediately made me think DUKE is going to shoot someone, or DUKE is going to be shot. Didn't realise that what Duke really needed was an Epipen

Peg why do you have a switchblade

Whiskey yawning while they talk about Birdie's accomplishments

"SOCCER MOM IN BEIGE" just kill her it's kinder holy shit

It's dangerous to mistake speaking without thought to speaking the truth, don't you think? TATTOO THIS ON MY BODY PLEASE

I'm assuming that Peg has been around for a while, seeing as Claire knows to say hello to her and that this meet up is an annual thing and what not, so the fact that Miles doesn't remember her name is hilarious. Also, THE RED SOLO CUP. Man took one look at Peg and thought "Freshman, beer pong"

SOCCER MOM IN BEIGE DRINKS ROOM TEMP WHITE HOLY SHIT MILES JUST KILL HER ITS KINDER

Benoit has some fucking incredible hand eye coordination, him catching the Klear was some spiderman shit

Blanc is the perfect POV to have the first half of Glass Onion play through. He doesn't have a clue. He's along for the ride, what he sees, we have seen. He asks questions and points out things that we would also want to know, like yeah, what is Klear and do we win a prize and why is the car on the roof?

I fully believe when Blanc left the room with the magazine of Birdie way way back in that scene, THATS when he solved Miles murder mystery.

Also his friends kinda seem to be having a great time watching Benoit fucking decimating Miles good time 😂

"I hired Gillian Flynn to write the whole thing -" "OooOoh she's quite gooood"

THE COIN! HE GOT THE COIN OUT

[strawberrah]

re: the crane wives

I HAVE THE EXACT SAME GRIPE ABOUT A DIFFERENT CRANE WIVES SONG. Whenever people use "The Moon Will Sing" in a romantic context I wanna SHOOT MYSELF!!! IT'S ABOUT ESCAPING AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP!!!!! whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat is with people and misinterpreting the crane wives!!!!

LITERALLY!!

Like I get it, people are allowed to have their own interpretations yadda yadda yadda, but sometimes things, yknow, are made with purpose. and have meaning. It's like the out-of-context quotes phenomenon in music form, everyone wants to take songs with unique and beautifully expressed meanings and grind them down into the same bland slurry of "this is about romance actually" over and over again and its gotten OLD. It's like Mitski's Strawberry Blond (kind of an overused example, but one a lot of people are probably familiar with). It's not just people going "Hey I can feasibly make this about my blorbos!!" That's fine, it's whatever. I can't stop you. It's when people are soooo desperate to be able to align everything they consume with their own lives and experiences and preferences that they don't even entertain the thought of using music to connect with and understand OTHER PEOPLE'S lives and experiences and preferences which they never would have been privy to otherwise. Oh great you've sanded down a song about the pain of being forced to assimilate into white culture so that it's JUST about unrequited love. Glad you didn't have to think too hard about it or any other uncomfortable truths about the world.

Idk at the end of the day it's pretty harmless to put an ill-fitting Mother Mother song in a playlist but sometimes it's kind of indicative of how people want the ego-boost of saying they have "diverse tastes" while really all they're doing is crunching everything they watch and listen to into little easily-digestible soundbites and ship prompts and The Office references.

[mcytblrconfessions-but-bad]

i keep thinking your avatar is the crying troll face. Anyway i sent this to another confessions blog before reading their very obvious"don't send controversial topics" rule so I'm sorry to them whoopsiesssss

But I just find it so insane when people get super defensive when you say you're uncomfortable with cwilbur. Like you can like cwilbur fucking fine. But i personally don't like watching known abusers edgy self inset repeatedly show similar behaviour to what he displayed irl. - And this has been a forever hatred because god knows this was common before shelby spoke out - but cwilbur is abusive too. Obviously! he grooms and emotionally manipulates ctommy and soooo many people act like they're so happy ladida and not literally just. extremely toxic

and then KNOWING that tons of William Gold's content was "parodying" abusers snd misogynists in an attempt to separate himself from them. The same way the nice guy trilogy feels super creepy or you can't not feel dirty listening to your boyfriend was right I cannot in good faith engage with any of his art without feeling guilty including his character.

And people calling him just cwils "actor" is insane. He wrote and directed most of the first arc of the dsmp and was very dedicated to his character, you can't remove the influence ccwilbur had from the character.

And I'm not like asking people to never enjoy cwil again I'm literally just saying stop being weird to people who are uncomfortable with him which is such a NORMAL REQUEST. WHY IS THIS HARD TO FOLLOW????

anyway I'm going insane thats my confession. Trigger tag cwilbur.

.

[anthroparis]

no hard feelings was soooo bad no one watch it. for what it is, it is NOT funny or crazy or even heartfelt enough to sell the premise (32 year old woman gets paid by a rich couple to groom their 19 year old son). I think a comedy like that can work, given that the concept is treated as ridiculously as it felt to watch, but the tonal inconsistency is such a killer of anything of substance.

I told wolfgang that it was just confusing. I didn't know what kind of message the writer was trying to convey- did they want us to root for the protagonists? despise them? feel uncomfortable? I'm seeing grown women defending this weird ass movie on the grounds that "well people in the movie SAY the age gap and sexual coercion are bad so it's okay!" like no the fuck it's not lmao. this is some scott pilgrim tier arguing. there's never anything that really indicates that the relationship is odd besides people making jokes that jennifer lawrence is old. it's played for laughs and there's no consequences for it.

there is no balance between the serious aspects and the funny ones, and I really just kind of sat there wondering "what am I supposed to be doing" the entire time. not a single joke landed for me. it was painfully unfunny, which made the experience even more unpleasant.

it teeters right on the line between "wacky immoral out-there comedy" a la adam sandler, and "heartwarming romcom" and these themes do nooooot mix well. it's almost like you can tell they're holding back on the jokes and upping the drama, which, for a movie that is about a 32 year old trying to fuck a teenager, NOT GREAT!

the emotional core to the story left a lot to be desired, too. I liked lawrence's character enough to care about her backstory, which was hardly developed and really kind of rushed in all regards. same with the kid. the pacing was honestly just shot all around, the supporting cast was bland and had nothing to do, and it just kind of felt like a nothing movie. characters are introduced and then are never mentioned again. the jokes feel restrained and watered down. there's zero-sum chemistry between ANY of the actors and the emotional moments are so painfully hamfisted and soulless it was like watching a kleenex commercial. the overall weird pushy sexual coercion wasn't framed in any way outside of uncomfortable. it was hard to watch.

probably one of the worst "comedies" to come out in a few years. 1/10. do not fucking watch this.

[ponysoprano]

Street Fighter but it's roller derby

Explanations & elaborations under the cut ✌️😋

- It is technically a coed league, but there are only two guys on the team. Yang is canonically an inline skater, so he's got the transferrable skills, and Adon is just there to prove some wack ass point to his own ego that no one really gets but he made a huge fuss about it, and he's talented enough, so 🤷‍♀️

- Poison usually fouls out, if she isn't totally ejected, for stuff like egregious back blocking and forearms. She's in the penalty box far too often.

- Minors on the team are in the juniors program (coached by Dudley!)

- Team captains are R. Mika and Manon.

- Kolin's days on the team are numbered; people are already suspicious of her missing practice for 8 weeks at a time, and she doesn't really play nice with anyone else, soooo.

- Luke focuses more on the jammers as a coach, Honda focuses more on the blockers, and Zangief is also there! (He mostly runs practices, he's kinda useless at games.)

- Rose is training Menat to officiate. Rose played for one season, and then switched to reffing because it was hard on her joints.

- Rashid and Karin are usually jam refs, and jammers dread getting Karin as their ref because she's notorious for not paying attention and failing to call lead jammer correctly.

- Birdie will never ref. Most of the NSOs are willing to try it at some point, but he won't put a helmet on.

- Fei Long is also the photographer when he's not needed for NSOing.

- El Fuerte has somehow gotten himself into a situation where he's the penalty box wrangler every single game. He's not upset about that; he just wonders quietly if they're forgetting to write him into the schedule and then sticking him in the last available spot every time.

- Several of the "enthusiastic fans" tier are there because they have friends/family/fellow gang members on the team.

- Mad Gear shows up as hecklers, and it doesn't help that they have Poison fouling out constantly and Abi calling some seriously suspicious penalties as OPR. They have been ejected from the arena on numerous occasions.

- Blanka has no idea what's going on. He's just having fun :)

- Makoto would probably like to play, but she's too busy with karate and can't really afford to take on another contact sport at the moment, so she just drops by sometimes to cheer on her friends instead.

- Seth showed up one single time, watched the first half, claimed that he had everything memorized, and left. It was very weird and made the door volunteers uncomfortable.

- Guile is not impressed when they don't do the national anthem.

- Necro keeps winning 50/50 draws somehow. There's no apparent reason for this. He's only buying one ticket, he's pretty sure?

- Juri used to be part of the team, but she never played safely enough and hurt a lot of people during her time. She also made a lot of enemies with her constant chirping and general poor sportsmanship. She was approached by her captains one day and asked politely but firmly to leave. Sometimes she feels a little bad about it, but she'd never make that known to anyone, or even really acknowledge it herself. :(

[destinyc1020]

Girl I thought about this before and your right. It feels weird to see Tom and Z play characters that are so not like them and why is it sometimes awkward to watch lol like for example when I watched GoT I did not know anyone from that show so I didn’t cringe but I guess when you stan an actor and you know them a bit more it gets a little uncomfortable lol but I mean that’s their job

Lol 👀 😂

Yea....I know what you mean. When you follow actors a little TOO closely offscreen, it can make it hard to turn off what you know of the person vs the role they're playing lol.

That's actually why a lot of actors prefer to "disappear" in btwn roles.

But we follow Tom and Z soooo closely that it can be hard sometimes for fans lol 😆

I totally get it!

But yea, they're actors, so that's their job. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[theoncomingdoo-dah]

Episode 1.4 Aliens of London

so no one cares but I started watching breaking bad today. I have never seen it so this is my first exposure. it's really damn good so far.

ANYWAYS I remember really liking this episode! Let's go!

Nine just cheesing when Rose is walking off to see her mum.

Also the music starts off so sentimental to just distort and waver down when the 'missing' poster is in shot

And the PANIK in Nines face when he sees the poster.

Also love the face when he says "not 12 hours, it's 12 months. Sorry.' like whoopsie!

BAD WOLF MENTIONED (Like BIG TIME ITS THERE ON THE TARDIS)

Jackie is such a mom. That is a compliment. She's written so believably, like yeah, my mom would go off on me like that too. Holy shit.

And poor Nine. He's just standing there. Soooo awkward. He really just can't do domestics.

The utter offense Rose and Nine get when the officer asks if what's between them is a sexual thing. Not yet dude, they're still figuring things out.

"How old are you then? 40? 45?" Nines face like nope, not even

"STITCH THIS MATE" we stan Jackie Tyler in this house.

Rose's face during this whole thing...she's been here before. Absolutely.

Any scene with Rose and Jackie hits me hard because it reminds me of me and my mom. I'm an only child, just like Rose. I'm my moms baby. At one point, it was just me and her. And honestly I could see my mom acting just like Jackie does in this situation.

"I don't do families." Sure, Jan.

Remember when I said Nine and Rose can't stay mad at each other? Stays true in this interaction. Rose goes from saying "You're so useless..." to Nine to laughing at his jokes.

"Your face!" "It hurts!" "You're so gay!" Just, them. Being them. I love them.

Of course the spaceship hits Big Ben. This is Doctor Who after all.

FANTASTIC

"I'm so glad we got you." 🙄

Another scene that puts Nine waaaaay out of his element. Back at the Tyler's flat with all their friends. He just looks so uncomfortable.

and where's he's wrestling the remote away from the little boy pffft

HARRIET JONES THERE SHE IS

Yes the fart jokes are terrible but I'm also a child and I think they're great and the fact that they actually give a reason for why it happens is pretty great and makes it even funnier

tbh I'd take fart jokes over awkwardly written innuendo any day

"It's just a bit human in there for me." He doesn't even sound disgusted when he speaks, more unnerved? Stressed? Aww.

And the utter JOY he has over the human race actually evolving and changing is wonderful! the fact that he doesn't want to interfere because he wants it to happen naturally!

"TARDIS key." more like "We're moving in together. My home is now your home." Everytime it happens, it's wonderful.

Rose looks all giddy with the key in her hand. 🥹

ELLO E.T

"DOCTAAAAAAAH-!" *CRASH!*

"Damn, you've seen through my cunning plan." The fucking delivery of this line xD

NINE SHUSHING THE SCREWDRIVER. it's such a small scene but I freaking love it

Then walking in on the soliders and smiling at their pointed guns. sirrrrrr

BUT THEN FOLLOW HIM WHEN HE SOUNDS LIKE HE KNOWS WHAT HES TALKING ABOUT

The genuine hurt when they shoot the pig alien. God I love nine. 🥺

"I'm shaking my BOOTY." It's so cheesy and stupid I love it

Seriously, The Slitheen are great. Goofy mother fuckers but when it comes down to brass tacks they are ruthless and terrifying. Those are the best kind of DW baddies.

Honestly, Mickey is justified in how he feels. Accused over and over of killing your girlfriend.

"He's not my boyfriend, Mickey! He's better than that. He's much more important." Yeah I'm completely normal about this line.

"Ricky"

"Think you know your own name, how stupid are you?" NINE CHILL

He's honestly such a twit to Mickey but it's too funny I'm sorry

God you can just see the cracks in Mickey and Rose's relationship. And they weren't caused by the Doctor. They were always there. :(

"I had a wife, mistress and a young farmer." "God I was busy." Jesus Christ.

eeeeyyyy it's UNIT.

"Take me to your leader!"

And then the car ride banter. And him waving at the press!! Sir I just love you so much

"Lloyd George used to drink me under the table." See this is funny because the Doctor really doesn't drink. At all. Each time they've tasted alcohol it makes them gag.

AND HOW INSISTENT HE IS THAT ROSE STAYS WITH HIM GAAAAAH

Look at Rose being all capable without the Doctor around! Looking around for alien technology with Harriet! She's so amazing I love her

"Excuse me, you mind not farting while I'm saving the world?" Iconic.

Maybe I'm immune to bad CG because this isn't even that terrible?

ngl though these costumes are pretty damn sweet.

Conclusion:

Yeah this episode is still a banger. still a big fan of the Slitheen. not my favorite alien in DW (that would probably be the Ood. I miss the Ood...)

I'll be watching WW3 tomorrow probably. Night!

[writingsfromthegrave]

Hi!!! I love your writing! Could I have a HLVRAI matchup please?

I'm Kess, I'm 18, and I love anything art. I'm 5"6 and mad about not being taller lol. I use he/they pronouns, and my hair is really short and close to my head. I've got lots of freckles and spots, and I always have some sort of bandage on because I pick at my skin :(. I'm generally a pretty cozy dresser, lot of sweatpants and sweaters and oversized shirts. I'm a scorpio, and I'm very loud and passionate. I'm a bit nervous around new people, and I think I come off as rude sometimes on accident. But I really just feel uncomfortable in social situations UNLESS I'm with friends. I tell a lot of weird jokes and know way too much about the ocean (I wanna be a marine biologist). I'm also very into art and drawing, and LOVE games like Resident Evil, Minecraft, and Firewatch. I think I spend like, $500 a year on art supplies or new games. I play DND too, though I'm a terrible dm lol. I can't stand seafood, inconsiderate people, and any material made of foam (bad texture).

Hope that's enough :)

gosh nonnie, i'm terribly sorry for the long wait. hope you're okay and enjoy!

I match you with . . .

Tommy Coolatta!

♡ Now hear me out . . . DND with Tommy? DND with Tommy. And BOY, does he LOVE playing with you. Even if you're not too confident in your dm skills, he's enjoying it anyway because you're there !! Will go to you for character-making advice and whatnot. He's a little confused, but he's got the spirit

♡ Definitely counts your freckles randomly. When he's too busy admiring you, he'll just spout it out, making random observations. Adores all your spots and even your bandages. They make you you! Tries to encourage you to not pick at your skin, but understands habits are hard to stop. Decorates you in colorful and patterned Band-Aids. They're FASHIONABLE

♡ Hands you his sweaters and shirts, and will sometimes steal yours in return. That way, when you get them back, you have something to remind you of him! Tommy finds this incredibly adorable and smiles soooo wide when he spots you wearing his clothes

♡ You're loud and passionate? He's loud and passionate with you, too. Willing to listen to you talk about anything you like, he's just happy to be with you. Hypes you up for anything & everything and he's your biggest fan/supporter. You know those people who bring cardboard cutouts spelling someone's name in like sports games and stuff? Yeah that's him but it spells out "K" "E" "S" "S"

♡ Tommy will absolutely do all of the talking and initiating with you, no need to feel awkward when he's around. Encourages you to improve on your social skills, but he has no issue in doing such things for you. Loves the praise and thank you's he gets in return!

♡ Oooh lord, a marine biologist? Well, you've piqued Tommy's interest. If he wasn't listening before, HE SURE IS NOW. God please tell him everything and anything you can, Tommy thinks you're the fucking coolest person alive.

♡ Insists on painting & drawing with you. Loves your hobbies and loves your art, but he loves joining you too! Tommy will either draw Sunkist or you two together, despite it probably being drawn in crayons.

♡ Minecraft is soo fun with Tommy. You two build the most stupidest, most random things. That is... if you don't let Benrey on there. Tommy has begged Benrey multiple times to not fuck your shit up even though it's nothing too fancy, it means a lot to Tommy.

♡ Loves watching you play games too. Adds so much commentary and funny jokes that you're probably not even focused on the gameplay at this point

♡ Tommy loves you to death and will always be there to do anything you need him to do for you. You've always got a shoulder to cry on and someone to go to for ANYTHING. You're so lucky