#like i know for a fact after being on there for a few years that byler used to be something that came up rarely in the past

[lavenderspence]

Cute, Outraged Genius | S.R.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Content warning: fluff, Spencer being a bit of a technophobe

Word Count: 1.5K

Summary: Spencer comes home only to find you using a kindle…cue, outrage

A/N: This is just a cute little story about Spencer being our little technophobe genius. I actually don’t own a kindle, so don’t know how those work or anything, but physical books are in fact superior, so.

The quote at the end is from “Book Lovers” by Emily Henry

You loved his apartment, sometimes more than you loved yours. Being in his space, surrounded by his things - his books, his clothes, the silly art he indulged in. Being drowned by his scent, meters upon meters of space he’d touched, it soothed you like nothing else could.

The peace you felt whenever you were in his space was unparalleled.

You loved his bedroom, the plushness of his bed, his closed, where you found yourself stealing his shirts and cardigans, never giving them back. 

Your favorite place in apartment 23 was his couch, where he found you often enough, when he returned from a case, curled up with a book. You loved the blanket thrown on the back and the windows that allowed for the whole apartment to light up with the sunlight. 

And then there were his bookshelves, in clear view from said couch. Filled with his favorite books, special editions he held close to his heart, or some that brought him knowledge. The shelves, that now also held some of your favorite books too.

Reading, books, was the thing that had brought you together in the first place, so when he’d made space for your clothes in his closet and your toiletries in the bathroom, he’d also made space for your books to sit beside his own. 

He’d insisted it made the place feel less like it was his own, and more like it was shared, even though you weren’t living together. It warmed your heart to know, that he saw his apartment as a home for both of you.

Seeing your books among his own, made you fall even more in love with him because he knew what they meant to you. So much so, he tumbed through a few, leaving sticky notes with his little thoughts between the pages.

As for your first meeting, it was funny.

You’d met a year ago, at a cafe close to his apartment. Stuck in a long queue, waiting for your turn, your nose had been buried into a book, completely oblivious to your surroundings. Spencer had been standing behind you, and like the nosy dork he is, had been reading along with you, over your shoulder.

When he’d pointed out an inaccuracy in the plot, compared to real life, you’d screamed, slamming the book shut, and successfully making a fool of yourself in front of the whole cafe. 

He’d apologized bashfully, and asked to buy your drink for you, and then lingered for a short conversation before he’d been called away on a case. 

In his hurry to get to the FBI on time, he’d forgotten to take your number. Two weeks later, and after a lot of blaming himself for being a dumbass, he’d seen you again, nose buried into another book, sipping a beverage next to the window of the cafe. 

You hadn’t attached puzzling looks this time, and he’d gotten your number. A year later, you couldn’t be more happy for the fact that your boyfriend sometimes didn’t really get social cues.

You smiled, thinking back on that day. 

You focused on your book again, eyes dancing around the page, following with rapt attention. 

Reading was one of the few things that brought you peace, quieted your brain, and improved your mood. 

Sometimes you envied Spencer’s genius, being able to go through War & Peace at breakfast, without batting an eye. Reading, and reading, and still having the time for other things. If, in your lifetime, you could read as many books as Spencer had read thus far in life, you’d be happy. 

You were giggling, kicking your feet, and enjoying your book, when you heard the telltale sign of Spencer arriving home - his key being inserted into the lock. 

You didn’t move your eyes away from the book, having reached a great part of the book. 

The door opened, and in walked your boyfriend, a peep in his step, happy he’d get to see you and spend time with you after 6 days of being away. 

He left his keys in the bowl next to the door, freed himself of his shoes, and set his messenger bag down. 

He walked further in, noticing the vanilla and chocolate scent in the air - you’d followed tradition, baking a small tray of chocolate chip cookies as a welcome for him. 

He stood behind you, draping his hands around your neck, and leaned over to kiss the side of your head gently, finally diverting your attention away from the book. 

“Hello, sweetheart,” he murmured, warm breath tickling your neck next, as he kissed around your ear and pulse point. 

“Hi there, babe.” you were whispering too, finally happy to be in your own bubble. “How are you? How was the case?” you asked, just like you did every time, just like you did every day. You always wanted to know how he was, you wanted to know about his day, and he’d gotten so used to it and had done it so many times for you too, it had become routine, a way to show each other you cared and loved each other. 

“I’m good, a little tired maybe,” he nuzzled your neck, eyes shut in contentment, “The case was tough, but successfully closed at the end,” he rarely elaborated, only if someone was hurt, or the case had taken a toll on his mental health. Other than that, he didn’t like bringing the gory details of the cases home with him. 

Home was his space with you, where you laughed, and sometimes cried. Where you cuddled and made love, read together, or to each other, where you cooked, where you relaxed. It was no place for the realities of a BAU profiler. 

“What are you doing?” it was a simple question. 

“I’m reading,” and there was an even simpler answer, except if you were Spencer Reid, a doctor with three PhDs, three bachelor’s degrees, an FBI agent, and a complete, and utter technophobe. 

You felt him lift his head before he choked out a high-pitched “You’re what?” and you turned around to see him, shock and betrayal written on his face, his eyes as big as saucers. 

You looked at him like he’d grown two heads, but you knew you should have expected this. 

You’d made the decision to get a kindle last week, and you’d used the time he hadn’t been home to set it up and try it out. 

“What are you even reading on that thing? That’s not a book!” he was outraged, but at the same time, he looked so cute, that you started laughing. You brought a hand to your mouth, in hopes of muffling the sound a little because you were losing it, laughing with everything you had. 

“Stop laughing, it’s not funny. I’m serious.” you just laughed harder, even though you tried to reign it in and stop. 

Around a minute later, your laughter started dying down, and you looked up, only to see him with his arms crossed against his chest, an expression between bewilderment, and those deep brown puppy eyes staring straight into your soul.

“It’s a kindle, Spence, it’s all digital,” you told him

“No, I know that, but you can’t be serious,” your brows furrowed, a bit butt hurt, until he continued, “You know, readers prefer physical books. A recent study found that only 21% prefer e-books, as little as 14% audiobooks, and 65% are physical book readers. Another study found that your brain absorbs less when you read on a kindle than on paper.” You laughed again, loving his brain, and then patted the space next to you, waiting for him to sit down.

“I thought you were pro saving the planet Mr. Three PHD’s.” you joked, waiting for him to sass you back. After all, one of your favorite characteristics of his was how sassy he was. 

“Well, yes I am, but statistically, physical copies are superior. A book needs to be physical, not whatever bullshit that is. Come on, let’s just return this, and I’ll buy you all the books you want,” he went to stand up, and you pulled him back down by the back of his shirt. 

“Aww babe, I know you will!” Spencer loved buying some of your books for you, he loved seeing the smile on your face when he bought a book you’ve wanted for a while. You buried your face into his neck, hugging him to you. 

“Come on, let’s cuddle before dinner, get a cookie, and I’ll read to you for a bit, I just reached a good part,” you whisper into his neck, and he exhales, reaching towards the coffee table to get a cookie before you relax into each other, and you pick up the kindle, reading where you left off. 

“We really are two opposing magnets, incapable of being in the same room without drawing together. I want to scrape my fingers through his hair and kiss him until he forgets where we are, and everything and everyone that ever made him feel like he was a disappointment. And he’s looking at me like I could, like there’s an ache in him only I could soothe.” you read, hand running through his hair, happy to have him back.

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!

[sparklingblu]

Inferior Activities

Lia x M Reader

"How's the salad?"

"Oh, it's great" you answer as you try not to grimace after swallowing the lettuce that taste no different from paper.

"I made few twists to the dressing, you know. A family secret" The bald man winks as he takes another bite of the potato that would have turned to coal if it have been roasted a minute more.

Studying the plates of green laid out all across the table, you make a firm decision never to become a vegan. At least not if your father in law is gonna be your chef. Lia has warned his cooking skills are terrible but you didn't expect it to be this awful. The only tolerable content of the table seems to be the so-called vegan meat and even that's starting to taste lesser and lesser like meat with each bite. No offense to all those animal loving vegans out there but they really are missing out a lot in their life. You wouldn't have lasted a day if you have to survive without meat.

Your eye flicker up to Lia, seated across, to see if she's on the same page with you on the matter. She lazily plops a broccoli into her mouth, her eyes betraying no signs of disappointment. The corner of her lips twitch in a thin smile as if to mock your suffering. She looks contented even.

In the end, you only have yourself to blame. When Lia suggestsled you visits her dad on the weekends, you agreed with a simple nod. Sure, it's your first time meeting her old man but what could go wrong? Right?

Except that everything does. As soon as you enter the house, the first thing the dude asked you was your opinion on wildlife conservation. At first you thought he was joking then you find out he's actually very serious about the matter. Weather talk would have been a good starter. Seriously, who starts a conversation like that?

Then after seeing the dishes he has prepared, you find out making conversation is the least of your worries. He's your father in law and you have respect for him and all but this dude is horrible at being a vegan. If he calls his mushroom soup which tastes more like mushroom-flavored dishwater 'a masterpiece', you might as well consider becoming a chef. Who knows? Maybe you will even get a couple michelin stars.

You are thinking of a way to escape this organic hell and the constant ear rape about how billions of animals are killed per year for human consumption when Lia finally comes to your aid.

"Dad, we are nearly done. Why don't you go make your signature smoothie? I haven't got the chance to taste it since I left for college" she suggests and the old man's eyes twinkle with maddening joy.

"Oh, of course! How could I forget that? It was your mother's favorite" his tone turns solemn at the mention of his late wife but you are too focused on the idea of finally getting some breathing room to care. "Two smoothies. Coming right up! You will absolutely love it" He winks at you again and leaves the table.

You drop your utensils and exhale in relief. "Finally. I was gonna turn into stone if I hear one more second of his animal talk"

Lia chuckles. "I get used to it after living with him for 18 years. He's actually a really sweeet guy. He just tries to focus on something else after my mom passed, I guess"

If the fact is supposed to make you feel sorry, it doesn't work. But you are not gonna tell her that. "How do you survive with this kind of food all these years?"

"It wasn't always that bad" Belle protests. "And sometimes he even cooks meat. But his skills get rusty with old age"

"Yep, I'm never becoming a vegan"

Lia pouts in annoyance. "Oh, come on. It's not that bad"

"Suits yourself"

"You just hate vegetables in general"

You roll your eyes in feigned annoyance. "Look, who's trying to follow her father's steps"

"Whatever" Lia finally gives up, pushing up her glasses from her nose. "I'm still hungry you know...."

"Maybe we can go to McDonald's or something later"

"No, daddy" Lia's voice turns low and sultry. "You know exactly what I want"

You look around in a panic to see if her dad has overheard your conversation. Thankfully, the guy's busy cutting carrots on the kitchen counter.

"Lia, I told you not to call me that in public. Especially not when your literal dad is right here" you warned, though you can't deny the fact that hearing her call you the name get your blood flowing backwards.

"Oh, come on, daddyyyyy" she pushes on, stressing the last word to make it sound even more fervorous. "I know you secretly love it"

"Look, babe. I love the name but this isn't the right place. Seriously, your dad's right there"

"So what?" Lia puts her elbows on the table, propping her chin in her palms. "Don't you enjoy a little risk?"

"Come on, babe. Not right now. I will make it up to you when you come back"

"But I want it now" Lia whines, the pout reforming on her lips. "Need to taste daddy's big cock. Need it shove down my throat"

"Lia...." you hiss, becoming aware of her tone, increasing by the second.

"Daddy pleaseee" she gives you those bambi eyes she knows you can't resist. "Let me suck your huge cock. I need you to fill up my mouth with your hot cum. I have been a good girl, haven't I? I deserve my reward" Lia runs her tongue along her top lips to punctuate her wish.

With the way her words get your asleep mamba waking up, you already know you are fighting a losing battle but you still need to be the one in charge here. "Alright, fine. But-"

"Oops. I drop my spoon" The metal hits the floor with a loud clang and Lia immediately dives down the table. It's an overused trope. You have seen it in hundreds of porn videos and you are no stranger to it. But you have never thought you would be in a similar situation and this time, the risk is very real. Her dad is not a paid actor who would pretend to be oblivious at the scene which would soon unfold.

"Is everything ok?" Lia's dad shouts from the kitchen counter, now washing.....are those eggplants?

"Yes, mister! We are gold!" You replies, hoping he would stay focused on his veggies.

You look down and find Lia already kneeled between your legs, a flicker of amusement in her eyes behind those glasses. Her lips curve into an impish smile. "Just stay still and let me do all the work, daddy" she whispers, her hands already working on your zipper. With one swift pull, she opens it up, revealing your red underwear underneath. "Oh, daddy's wearing my favorite colour today" Lia muses as she grabs your cock over the thin fabric, her thumb tracing slow circles. "Daddy, you are already so hard"

As much as you want to prolong this pornographic session, her dad is not going to be in the kitchen forever and you don't want to give him a heart attack. "Babe, enough teasing. Make it quick" you warn and her thumb rests on your head, pressing down on that sensitive spot she only knows. You let out a half-formed moan, not daring to be loud.

"You know the magic word, daddy. No need to be so formal" she presses again and you grit your teeth.

"Start sucking my cock, you slut" you calls her by her favorite nickname, which intsantly gets her engines revving.

"Yes, daddy" she release her grip, pulling down your underwear. Your rock hard cock springs out in a flash, hitting her spectacles. "Someone's eager" Lia chuckles, placing her brown locks behind her back, preparing for the main course. Her left hand close around your base, pumping it up and down in an agonizingly slow pace. She looks at your cock like it's something glorious, something she should be worshipping. But that's not so far from the truth. If this slut wants to choke on your cock, you are gonna permit it happily.

"Daddy, you are so big" Lia mutters dreamily, her free hand fondling your balls each at a time. The combination gets your mind cloudy, basking in the pleasure you nearly forget the whole point of this.

"I don't see you sucking my cock?" Lia stops her movements at your words and you nearly reget telling her to stop. But that doesn't last long because Lia instantly starts obliging to your command.

"Patience, daddy" With that, her rosy lips seal around your tip, taking you partly into the warmth of her mouth. Meanwhile, her hands grab your shaft, working in unison with each drag of her lips. The twist of her fingers along with her tongue that swirls around your slit gets you throwing your head back, letting out a graon. Then you quickly recompose not to expose yourself.

Lia doesn't seem to be bothered. Getting caught seems to be the last thing on your mind as she slurps on your head with fevorous vigour. Like it's the most delicous lollipop she has ever tasted. Her tongue gathers up any pre cum that leaks from your slit, taking it straight down to her stomach. She would takes anything your cock has to offer.

Every moment or so, you would check on her dad, making sure the guy's still busy brewing his organic potion which contents are starting to get weirder. But as long as he's busy, you don't care what he's putting into that blender. It's the best for him and you. You doubt the old man would be as merciful to you as he is to wildlife if he finds out his daughter is giving you head under his table.

But the task proves to be harder because Lia's dad would throw you ocassional glances and you have to put on this stupid grin everytime, which is not so easy with how Lia's sucking you off. Now she has taken half your cock into her mouth, her cheeks hollowed with unfathomable suction. Her hair sways with every bob of her head, forming silky waves of hazel. All the while, she keeps her eyes on you behind those circular frames, those pools of black seems to be asking if she's doing a good job.

"God, Lia....just like that" you grip the edge of the table to compensate for not being able to rejoice in the bliss of Lia's wet hole freely. Your head darting up and down as you keep watch on her father as well as enjoy the view between your legs.

Your shaft is now ringed with red as Lia leaves tarces of her lipstick mixed with her saliva while her lips glide smoothly along your cock, making it a red wet mess. Not like you mind. She can keeps messing it up all she wants.

Her tongue action doesn't waver either, licking up any available part but escpecially under your tip to tackle your weak spot each time she takes you in. To add icing on the cake, she has her left hand wrapped around your base to pump the lengths unattended by her mouth, not leaving out any throbbing vein.

You are helpless against her attack, the only action from your side to keeps grabbing the tablecloth into an unshapely tangle. And even that's starting to fail at holding back your moans.

A loud whirring sound fills up the place as Lia's dad starts brewing all those green stuffs in the blender. He gives you a thumbs up and you smile back, shammming excitement. The sound of the blender blades reminding you of the disguisting smoothie you will soon have to drink.

However, Lia takes advantage of the noise by taking your whole length down on her throat, the loud gagging sound lost in the echoes of spinning blades. You take the chance to make any audible sound that would let you express your euphoria. A moan. Then two. Then a couple more. It no longer seems to be ending as Lia devour your cock like a hungry animal, hitting the back of her throat each time she deeothroats.

Drops of saliva litters the ground. The evidences of Lia's godly work. Gags after gags escape her mouth in rhythm with your moans. However, escape won't be suitable here with the way your cock is blocking her airway. But that isn't a problem because she would choose your dick over oxygen.

The blender keeps whirring and Lia keeps choking on your cock. Her glasses now tilted at a strange angle from the force of her movement, the temple hanging on one ear only. Currently, her vision isn't as important as the taste of your dick on her tongue.

Lia finally pulls back, trails of saliva running from your tip to her lips. A waterfall of saliva staining her white shirt. Her tongue rolled out and her temples dripping with sweat.

"Daddy....am I...good?" she pants like a bitch in heat, all her lipsticks all gone.

"Very. But you gotta finish what you start my little slut"

"Yes, daddy. Feed me your thick cum. I want it all"

"Then come and take it"

Lia dives back on your cock, immeditaely swallowing your whole length. You groans out at the burst of pleasure, her throat constricted around your shaft. Lia holds her position, her nose pressed to your pelvis for a few moment before pulling back, just to start fucking her throat on your cock again and again.

The sound of the blender stops and you hear the clink of glasses. Turning your head, you find Lia's dad pouring the green liquid into two glasses. It would only be a few minutes before he comes back.

Lia seems to realize to because her lips form an airtight seal around your head and her hands satrt pumping your shaft furiously. Using all your willpower to hold out from finishing earlier leaves no strength left to withstand Lia's final assault. Your cock starts throbbing and soon you are spilling your cum into her mouth. Some reaching her tongue, the other flowing straight down her throat. Lia's fingers keep twisting back and forth and you empty the last drops of your protein rich fluid into her welcoming hole.

You close your eyes, breathing hard. The relief is instant as much as the build up is agonizingly blissful. Lia releases your cock with a pop and lick up the remnants of cum on the tip. You are too lost in the euphporic finale you totally forget the perilous situation you are in. When you realize, it's too late.

Lia's dad is near the table, two glasses of the green smoothie in his hands. His face is a mixture of shock and distress as he stands rooted to the spot, his eyes fixed on her daughter's face a few centimeters away from your spent cock. His mouth opens but before he can speak, Lia chimes in.

"Thanks for the meal daddy. But I don't think I'm going to need the smoothie. I already have dessert"

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

[dnpbeats]

Why I Don’t Think the Secret Project™ Is a Tour—This Time With Facts!

Let me start out by saying I do think they’ve brought up another tour enough that it will happen at some point, I just don’t think it will be this soon! (Also keep in mind Dan did imply there are two things coming up in his Tweet.) That being said, obviously I could be totally wrong. But hey, if they do announce a tour in a couple of weeks, there has to be someone that gets clowned by the announcement, and I’m happy to take the fall <3 Post under cut as it's long (1.3k words 💀)

The main reason I don’t think they’re announcing a tour is timing, but I do also have something to say about the hints they’ve been dropping and why I also don’t think it necessarily points towards a tour. So, to start, let’s look at how long they spent planning TATINOF and II. In “The Making of TABINOF,” Phil says they are releasing the book (on October 8th 2015) after working on it for a year and a half, which would be April 2014. Presumably, this is around the time they started working on TATINOF as well because they were supposed to be companions. TABINOF and TATINOF were announced together on March 26th 2015, so almost exactly a year after they started planning them. Even if you want to guess that TATINOF planning started a few months after TABINOF planning, keep in mind that they originally only planned the UK leg and planned the US tour after that. The UK leg ended November 15 2015 and they announced the US leg February 26 2016. So that’s a little over two months of them planning the US leg alone, when they already had the show itself all sorted.

With II, we know they were actively planning it for about a year. Phil follows that up to say they planned it for “the majority of this year [2018],” so let’s just call it 10-11 months. More so than that, Dan said that they realized they wanted to do a second tour “halfway through” TATINOF, which in my best guess places that decision around summer 2016. This means they seriously considered doing a second tour for ~6 months before they even started planning it. 

Now, if the new project coming up is a tour, they’ve only been working on it for 6 months max. They only brought back the gaming channel 7 months ago, and we know from the end of Dan’s bday live stream that they didn’t start working on this project until they realized how many people still liked their content: “We were so shocked about how much people care about this light entertainment, sat-in-this-chair-ass content. [...] It took us by such surprise, and now we’re like, where is this going. [...] It was supposed to be a ‘let’s just do this for a bit and see what happens.’ [...] So now we find ourselves going, well okay, this channel, this content, the people, the future of it. What else are we gonna do? 'Cause it seems like there's a thing here.” 

So it’s up to you to decide when they realized that, but I think it was probably sometime in November at the absolute earliest, and then they still needed time after that to decide what they’re going to do, and then actually plan it. (And honestly, I doubt they started actively planning anything in December during gamingmas, but you never know!! Also like I said in my original post about this, Dan was still doing WAD stuff up until February and then some book promo stuff after that, so he was busy with that as well.)

So, that’s all to say, I really don’t think they’ve had time to plan an entire tour. At the very least, not a world tour, but I don’t know if they’d announce a UK-only leg and plan the worldwide tour later based on what they said about choosing to plan II all at once, rather than the split up way they did with TATINOF (also keep in mind that Dan announced WAD all at once, like d&p did with II). Idk I just don’t think they’d announce a tour without having it all planned!

Okay, so, besides the random hints that they’re busy planning something, we also have Phil’s comment about saving money in his Cactus Club post. He wrote “I also just wanted to make your cactus a lil more affordable as Dan and I get busy on what is …. next… ??” Now while this seems to imply saving up for something (hence why the membership needs to be affordable), he doesn’t outright say that. Then in his Q&A vid, he answers a question about what he’s cooking that specifically asks, “Should I save my money?” And interestingly, Phil doesn’t address the money part of the question. Now maybe he just couldn’t say anything about saving money, maybe it would've been too on-the-nose. But I’m also sure plenty of other people asked that question without asking about saving, which means he chose to specifically ignore that part. To me, it seems kinda weird to outright exclude that if the project is something people will have to pay a lot of money upfront for (i.e. tour tickets), but again that’s just my opinion.

(Also just a secondary note on Phil’s answer—he actually says, “Look, I can neither confirm nor deny something might happen in the next month.” I find the phrasing he chose really interesting. He didn’t say an announcement was coming, he said something was going to happen. Dan also never explicitly said to look forward to an “announcement,” he just said they’ve been cooking and to give it a couple of weeks. Obviously this could all mean nothing and maybe it is an announcement (whether it be for a tour or something else), but I actually think whatever the project is might be getting released not just announced. But idk!)

A moment of me speculating based on vibes (that also negates the note I just made about this potentially being a release rather than an announcement): part of me thinks this project might be something/similar to something they tried to get off the ground before but then never came to fruition! This gifset by @reunitedinterlude got me thinking about projects that they didn’t get to do for various reasons (namely COVID lol). I think one of these (either one of Phil’s ideas that he’s now brought Dan onto, or something they were trying to do together from the get go) would actually make a lot of sense for what’s getting announced. It would be something that they had already started work on, so it doesn’t take as much planning as something brand new, meaning it could be announced sooner. Additionally, I just feel like they’ve been so vague about what’s coming up, but they’ve also been super excited! They seem really proud about whatever they’ve been cooking. While I obviously think they’d be excited to do another world tour, part of me just feels like they might be this excited because it’s something new that they’ve never done before. Also, if it’s some kind of game show type thing, it would make sense that Dan said the project is a “celebration” of the gaming channel. But again this is just based on vibes lol.

In conclusion, I do think we’ll get a third Dan and Phil tour, I just don’t think it’s what’s getting announced(/released?) in the coming weeks. But I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the next thing they announce after whatever this upcoming thing is! If you think I’m dead wrong and actually other people have planned world tours in <6 months please let me know, I’m happy to be proven wrong bc I would love another tour :)

[garfunklefield]

Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye

18+ viewer discretion is advised

Fem!reader/inmate!Toji Fushiguro Warnings: established relationship, slight angst, mentions of abuse, conjugal visit, breeding, breeding kink, missionary, cream pie, DILF Toji, Toji has a BD ;) Word Count: 3343 DESC: Your last visit until your boyfriend gets out of jail takes a spicy turns AKA idk how conjugal visits work so bear with me

Hi sorry IVE BEEN GONE! I see your requests and I'm getting there I promise!

It had been a year since your boyfriend decided to defend you in public. And a year since his sentence. That whole day was a mess from start to finish, and you wished you could take it all back. It started innocently enough, a family trip with him and his son, Megumi, at the local mall. Megumi clung to your hand more than Toji’s, causing your comments to start. To you, they were all jokes and to Megumi, they were hilarious. Little things like, “Aw, I guess Daddy’s not the favorite anymore!” Or, “Guess you need to put a ring on it sooner, babe.” It was supposed to be sweet fun, but it was getting to him. Maybe it was his rough childhood speaking or his insecurity as a parent, but your snide remarks weren’t helping his soured mood. Now that you looked back on it, it was your fault that he snapped. 

That man did nothing wrong other than come up to you and begin to gently compliment your outfit while you watched Megumi play in the child's play area. He did nothing that warranted your boyfriend coming up and grabbing him by the shirt collar, and socking him dead in the jaw. He did nothing wrong as he fell to his knees, and as your boyfriend kicked him in the gut. The man did nothing as he was viciously assaulted for merely hitting on a woman he didn’t know was taken. You were horrified as you watched your boyfriend send punch after punch his way, deforming his face with his fists. Megumi was terrified to see his dad do such a thing. 

But Toji heard nothing, saw nothing other than the fact a man was threatening his position as your loving boyfriend. And he was loving. Yet, something made him snap. It was a long time coming with his aggressive behavior in general. Especially with men who even looked in your direction. Call it possessiveness, call it love; You felt sick. Your hand covered Megumi’s eyes and slowly you began to walk backward, staring at the man you said you loved. Once he finished his punches, his hands covered in blood, he looked back at you two. He was hollow, a shell of who he was. He always was after his explosive anger attacks. They came and took hold of that man and made him instantly regret ever being alive. He watched the two of you back away in fear, as the security guards detained him. 

You did love him, you couldn’t help it. Even if he punched that man for no reason in your eyes, to him he was about to lose you. Toji was a sad man who came from a traumatic home, but you didn’t know that. He never let you in on why he was the way he was, or why he had that damn scar on the side of his mouth. The man never let you in and told you about how he got it, or why he was so protective of you. In his eyes, any man could take you away and leave him alone with nothing but a bottle in his hand. 

It took you a month before you decided to visit him in jail. You didn’t want to take Megumi because you knew it would take him a while to warm up to the idea of seeing his father after what he witnessed. You were patted down and inspected, told to take off your shoes and all that fun stuff. It felt like a lunch room, rather than what you had seen on TV. You sat at a round table, with a few decks of cards sprawled in the middle. Toji wasn’t there yet, but he was aware you were visiting. And you knew he’d be pissed you hadn’t come sooner. You figured he’d be all cocky and give you the silent treatment like the bitch he was. So you didn’t expect to see him look so … defeated. He walked into the room with two guards beside him, just for security. They motioned to your table and he looked at you. Your boyfriend looked … dead. Bags under his eyes and a hollow expression. The same expression you saw on that day. Regret and remorse for his actions in a way you hadn’t seen before. There was something different in his eyes when he saw you, a glimmer of hope. Maybe all wasn’t lost. Maybe he still had you. 

You stood up and swallowed, watching him come toward you in his tan jumpsuit. Your arms opened involuntarily and he pulled you into a very quick hug, probably protocol. He smelled different, he felt different. There was a stiff movement about his motions as he sat down across from you, his hands on top of the table. Was he … shaking? Like an abused pitbull, he stared at you and waited for you to speak. 

“Toji…” You began, hesitating before resting your hands atop the table as well, “Megumi isn’t ready to see you yet,” he nodded and looked away. 

“You came to see me. I thought you’d never come back after that day,” his eyes met yours again and you felt a wave of sadness. This wasn’t the cocky man you fell in love with. This was a shell of that man. “I’m sorry baby,” he rasped, voice strained against his throat. 

“Why did you do it?” Was all you could ask. If you got some clarity, and some answers, then you’d be able to figure out what to do after that. You’d be able to figure out how to address your relationship. You still loved him, we know this, but was it worth it? Was waiting for him while he rotted worth it? The man was silent for a few moments, staring at the table between your hands. Your hands were atop each other, near his but far enough you two wouldn’t get in trouble. You wanted to touch him as badly as he wanted to touch you, to break the distance and tell him everything would be okay. He needed it, you could tell. 

“When I was a kid, my brothers threw me into a pit of snakes,” he didn’t look up, “And my parents … laughed,” a defeated laugh came out of his lips, “No one treated me like how you do,” then Toji looked up at you, a dry edge taking to his voice. His eyes were like glass, staring at you with his soul naked to yours, “I can’t lose you or ‘Gumi- I can’t lose you,” then he took your hands, just for a second to squeeze them before he let go. The touch was fleeting, and it burned. Your skin ached where he touched it, and you longed to hold him. To tell him it was okay. Never in your relationship had he ever let you see this side of him, the side of him that was about to cry. The side of him that was truly vulnerable. Even with just a few short words you knew there was more to his childhood than he led on, more horrific stories than that one. His skin was all you wanted to feel, as you saw the tears pool up in his eyes. This wasn’t him, this wasn’t the Toji you knew. This was him at his lowest level, begging for help. Begging for … you. 

You weren’t going to let go of him that easily. 

Every weekend, you visited him. Sunday, at noon, you’d come and greet him with a smile. You didn’t understand how much it affected his mental state just to see you. It gave your boyfriend something to wake up for in the morning, it gave him motivation to work out and help out around the jail. He wanted to be with you, touch you, smell your hair, anything. Even if he couldn’t, and even if he could only see you for a few hours, that was all he needed. You saw his improvement slowly but surely, every time you’d come over. His skin brightened and his smirk was wide. Toji was getting his personality back slowly, but surely. Megumi visited him shortly after you began your weekly visits. You let the two of them talk alone, watching from afar. It was heartbreaking to see how your step-son perspective of the world had shifted all from one incident. It was heartbreaking to see him become cautious around the man who had been there since his birth. But Fushiguro knew this all too well, and he understood things would be different until the trust was built. 

There were two months until Toji would be released with parole. You weren’t able to hide how excited you were, just to be able to see him and hold him. That’s all you wanted. Just to taste his mouth and run your hands through his hair, which had gotten shaggier now. Your boyfriend’s physical appearance had definitely changed, in one way or another. Whether that was his muscles or the fact he had a new tattoo he didn’t want to tell you about. You didn’t really notice the changes, since you hadn’t seen him without that bulky jumper off in … a year. You didn’t want to admit how sexually frustrated you had been since that day. Nothing could replace his fingers, or his big cock thrusting into you. Not even a dildo, not even your fingers. No vibrator was as good as his tongue and no pillow was as plush as his thighs. You had to face it, you were desperate for him to leave. Two months were going by too slowly, and it was killing you. 

Until one of your friends had mentioned something offhandedly. A conjugal visit. You weren’t sure what it was until you did a bit of research, then you knew you were on board. A personal, one-on-one visit with just you and your boyfriend. You knew you didn’t have to ask him, of course, he’d agree. Toji was just as pent-up as you, more so in fact. It was hard, to see you in those perfect outfits and to see your perfect fact, and not being able to do anything. He couldn’t hug you, he couldn’t hold you, and he surely couldn’t fuck you. So when one of the guards came to him on a Monday and told him you had scheduled a conjugal visit for that day, he was intrigued, to say the least. Your boyfriend had heard about it from some of his cell friends, but he didn’t think you were that desperate. He thought if anything he would be the one going crazy while you took this like a champ, he had no idea you were lusting as much as he was. 

You were issued a trailer with a bed, a small bathroom, and a nightstand full of condoms and lubricant. It was spacious and quite clean for being used for sex regularly. You found yourself seated on the bed as you waited for Toji to come with an escort. Once that door closed it would just be the two of you, ready to do whatever the hell you wanted for hours upon hours. The door jiggled a few times before you saw him. 

Never had you seen him that excited to see you, as he slammed the door behind him. He peaked around a bit before he saw you on the bed, waiting for him. A genuine smile appeared on his lips, pulling at that scar and making the skin around his eyes crinkle. “I miss you,” he muttered, strolling into the mini bedroom. You looked up and felt the bed dip down under his weight as he flopped down onto his stomach, “And I missed laying on a damn bed.” You laughed and looked down at him, putting your hand in his hair. It was soft and longer than he usually kept it. Your fingers ran through his locks and lightly played with the strands in a way that made him melt. This touch was bliss, utter bliss. And you hadn’t even gotten started yet. He looked over at you and put his hand on your hip, using his thumb to rub a small circle in your skin. It was intimate without even trying. 

“C’mere,” you motioned, leaning back onto the headboard. Your legs were slightly spread as you invited him to lay between them. He didn’t have to be told twice, practically tripping on himself to seat himself on his front and in between your legs. Toji was warm, as he wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his chin on your lower abdomen. 

Your hands tangled into his hair as you let out a small breath, “Two months and you’ll be out… I’m so excited,” you smiled, “And I was thinking, you know, Megumi wants a sister.” That caught his attention from dozing off, from your supple touch. Toji’s head perked up and his eyes trained on your face. He was listening. 

“I think a good present for me, and Megumi, could be giving him a sister,” you continued, looking away with a shy expression. It felt so right, being this close to him. You needed him in so many ways it was starting to burn again. The way his hands lingered on your hips, and as they slowly started to play with the hem of your pants. And how one hand trailed up the small of your back, making you shiver intently. 

“Right now, princess?” A low purr escaped his lips, as he slowly got up from his lying position to sit in front of you. There was an unmistakable lust building in his eyes, in a way you missed. Oh how you missed it, to hear him mutter filthy fucking things in your ear. And how you missed how he’d manhandle you like it was nothing, using you like the whore you were. You bit onto your bottom lip and nodded, letting your boyfriend do the rest of the work. You didn’t have to speak or tell him twice, as his lips found yours. A tightening feeling arose in your chest, along with a warm, arousing fire that was building in your pussy. His lips molded against yours and kissed you like this was the first time in a year, which it was. Sure, you gave him a quick peck every time you’d see him. But it was never enough. Nothing was enough. Not even kissing him would be enough to satiate the yearning that had been building in your body for months. Your hands made a home on his back, digging into his jumpsuit and then moving to ruffle his hair. 

He tasted like smoke, and like home. This was your Toji. The Toji that took hold and took charge, roughing you around and pushing you to your limits. His tongue slid into your mouth and you couldn’t suppress the noise that came along with it. It was pleasurable, how it rolled and explored your own mouth. It ran along your bottom lip and then touched your own tongue, which tried to battle against it. But nothing could win against his dominance. His hands went to work, unzipping the front of your jeans and slowly sliding them off, with help from you lifting your perfect hips. Of course, you were wet. You were easy to please with him. And it didn’t help you had been waiting for this for practically ever. Every moment you touched yourself in your shared bedroom you envisioned this. The first time having sex after Toji had been gone. You pictured how he’d finger fuck you, then how he’d tongue fuck you, before finally forcefully stretching you with his dick. His perfect dick, the dick you could never fully take in your mouth. The best dick you had ever fucked. You could practically feel it then, as he broke away from the kiss to pull down your underwear.

Your hands moved to cup his face, “No…” A pout formed on your lips, “Fuck me.. Please.. I want it .. so bad…” It was all you had to say before he was unzipping his jumper. He was built, more than before. Muscles flexing in his neck from seeing your dripping pussy on display. Toji stood to fully take it off, watching as you began to touch yourself. You couldn’t help it, you were needy for him. Your fingers played with your clit as you watched him, seeing his jaw clench from the small noises you made. 

“You’re a fucking tease, you know that?” He grunted, kicking off his jumpsuit and pulling down his underwear. There it was, the thing you had been waiting for. He was hard and throbbing for you, begging to nestle into your wetness and fuck you until you sobbed. Fushiguro crawled back onto the bed and grabbed your jaw with one of his hands, “Open your mouth.” He whispered, a seductive tone filling his voice. Your whine filled the air as you complied and he spat into your mouth. You missed being used like a little slut and being forced to do whatever he wanted, just for his own pleasure. 

He didn’t put you on your stomach as you thought he would, instead opting for a very close missionary. It was nice, to see his face as he slid into your warmth. Toji could’ve come then and there from it. How you were tight and how you were dripping for him. All after some kissing? You were so desperate it hurt. Your skin was on fire as he pressed his body against you and rested his face into the crook of your neck. Your boyfriend’s mouth wandered, biting the skin and sucking to leave you with a mark you could show off for days. Toji thrust into you, letting out a noise you hadn’t heard before. It was … a whimper. He was so horny for you that he was at the point of whimpering, how pathetic. 

“M… mm.. I’m gonna.. F-ffuck.. Make you a mommy, a pretty.. mm fuck.. A pretty little mo-mommy,” he groaned, beginning to thrust into your pussy at a good pace. You bit your lip and tried not to make too much noise, but it was hard when he was hitting that perfect spot. It was hot, how he fucked into you like he was in heat. You felt so good it was hard not to just fuck you until he came … and that’s what he was doing. You wanted Toji to make you a mommy and fill you up with his seed until you were bulging in your tummy. You wanted him to make you a pretty little mommy, a whore just for him. And you were. You would do anything for him if he asked.

“Pl-please,” you whined, hands wrapped around his shoulders as he humped into your cunt, “H…harder .. mm.. Sh-shitt..” It was hard not to cum when he was abusing your pretty little spot. You were almost there, and hearing him whimper from each squelch was making it harder not to unravel. You had never heard Toji make such desperate sounds until he was balls deep into your warmth and taking it all in. Then you did cum, gasping and grunting at the sensation. Your walls clenched as you felt the pleasure wash over your cunt a few times before filling the rest of your body in orgasmic waves of bliss. That was enough for him, crying out before letting his cum paint your pretty walls white. Ropes of cum covered your insides and filled you up, making it almost hard to breathe. 

It wasn’t uncomfortable, it was all you wanted. You loved that man and you wanted his kids. Even if he had some baggage, everyone did. You made a vow to love him and you were going to keep it. And so was he. Toji wasn’t going to lose you no matter what.

[meanbossart]

Okay but I would love to hear your thoughts on the other spawn

Twirling my hair shifty-eyeing to the side OKAAAYYYYY WELL IF YOU INSIST 🛀

(This is a continuation of this post where I go into some detail about my thoughts on Dalyria, Violet, and Leon ((or "Leonard" as I apparently dubbed him as by mistake))

Let me start with the one I love the most after my sweet well-meaning-child-murdering-doctor Dalyria: Pale Petras.

First of all, just look at this fucking guy. What a goober.

I pretty explicitly go off-canon when it comes to my theories about Petras. According to him, he has been with Cazador for a hundred years - I find that very, very difficult to believe. Whether I would scrap that line entirely or just tack it as hyperbole is irrelevant - though he does seem to have a knack for the dramatics, or at least he tries to.

Petras immediately strikes me as a newcomer in the group. He's the most lively out of the spawn we chat with and seems to still retain what is a pretty strong, bold personality. He's antagonizing towards Astarion and pretty much sides with Cazador up until his life is on the line - and, most interestingly to me, his immediate reaction after being freed if you instruct them to lead the spawn into the Underdark seems to be one of fear and reluctance, unlike Dalyria who almost immediately takes the responsibility upon herself and seems warm towards Astarion and the player for what they've done.

Abusive relationships don't start abusive. If you've ever been friends with someone who's hooked up with a known serial abuser, chances are that you have had to sit through their attempts at justifying their behavior as foretold by previous partners - "oh, they just weren't a good match", "they both enabled abuse towards each other", "his ex was just crazy, man." This honeymoon period can last anywhere from a few weeks, to several years - until said friend inevitably finds themselves in the exact same cycle that said ex escaped from.

That's Petras. Petras is fresh meat. He's compliant. He's gullible. As a human in a world where you're surrounded by races that live up to several hundreds of years, he's attributed power to longevity - he loves being a spawn. He loves knowing that he will never lose his youthful looks and that his newly-acquired "curse" makes him desirable in it's own, odd way. He thinks this gig is easy - go out, get laid, get fed, rinse and repeat. Sure, sometimes there's a misunderstanding and he gets his joints broken or nails ripped out, but whatever! They grow back! To a vampire with powers of regeneration, dismemberment and scalping might as well be equivalent to ten belt-smacks to the backside just like his father used to give him as a child. Plus, it's never really his fault - If Master knew the truth, he would never set his goons on him at all!

And Oh, he adores Cazador. Not as a friend, a lover, or even a family member - but an aspiration. He sincerely believes that through hard work and resilience he can one day also have his status and fortune. And it shouldn't even be hard to stand out among this angsty little crew - what are they so bent out of shape about, anyway If they spent less time moping and more time working, maybe they wouldn't have such a tough time. Especially -

Astarion.

While it is likely incidental, I find it very ironic that Petras was put in Astarion's early-access outfit. And much less accidental than that: his mannerism and word-choice are a blatant imitation of Astarion's behavior. The flair, the flirting, the flattering and the abrasiveness; I've heard it theorized that this must be how all of the spawn act - I disagree. Petras is the only one we see exhibit that type of demeanor. I think he actively models himself after Astarion because as thick as he might be, he did catch onto the fact that his master has a particular interest in the white-haired elf.

And, of course, Petras hates Astarion for it. He sees him as someone who could have had it all, but gave up on it in favor of being bitter, angry, and naively wistful over his lost life. He has the looks, he has the charm, he had his master's favor, they go out and Petras watches men and women alike swoon over him and laugh at his shitty jokes, to then return home with a long-faced, bratty little shit-head of a toddler-man who would never even understand what the paralyzing loom of mortality is like in the first place - an ungrateful, nepotistic bastard whose had it all handed over to him by daddy, who was loved and fed and given a well-paid job fresh off his teens - but now he has to put a little work in. Now he has to do things that he might find unpleasant. And all he fucking does is whine about it.

Astarion is the personification of everything Petras ever wanted to be before being turned into a spawn, and he accidentally wears it on his sleeve day in and day out. I have no doubt that Astarion is blatantly aware of that fact and it makes his skin crawl - but Dalyria tells him that Petras is too young. Too new. Cut him some slack.

And frankly, I don't think he's evil, either. He strikes me as naive and star-striken. I don't know how long he's been with the Szarrs for, but certainly the light in his eyes would eventually fade over time and he would have had all the zest beaten out of him, same as the others. But, for now - he just doesn't know his own luck.

Admittedly, I have much less to say about Yousen and Aurelia. We don't hear as much as a word out of Yousen, but I've chosen to read the silence of and about his character as indicative that, maybe, he was able to hold onto his sanity and honor the best out of all of them. He had to do what he had to do to survive, but he did it while attempting to withhold any standards allowed to him for his own peace of mind - I like to imagine he had a lot of sincere empathy for all of the spawn, and, while they were never close, him and Astarion exchanged sincere words about their situation a few times during their stay at the palace; just enough to remind the elf that he wasn't alone, but never so much that Yousen would intrude into his space, or add strain to his already fragile state of mind.

And Aurelia... She strikes me as so young and already so beaten. I'd wager that what was once a sweet tiefling girl is now a terrified animal who does absolutely whatever she can to avoid pain and punishment - the snitch of the group, the reluctant ass-kisser, the one who desperately clings to any relief in whatever form it may come - be her master's approval or the shoulder of a sibling she has damned to the kennel more than once out of fear for her own life. Everybody has been hurt, betrayed, and irritated by her - but she's just so god damn pitiful that they can't push her away forever. While she would live, I believe she would have the hardest time adapting to freedom after Violet - just completely dependent on others and burdened by what she's had to do.

[lilypadthaii]

idiot | suna rintarō

suna rintaro x reader :3 wc: 2.7k

tropes: unrequited love, childhood friends to lovers, kinda oblivious reader a/n: sunas probably ooc, i cant write nonchalant men srry. also NOT proofread so sorry if there r mistakes :p

you first met suna when you were both just 7 years old. you were introduced to him by the twins, who happened to be your neighbors at the time. 

the interaction didn’t feel like it was anything out of the ordinary, but looking back on it, maybe it was the start of it all. 

“hi! my name’s y/n l/n! i’ve heard a lot about you from tsumu and samu! let’s be good friends from now on, ‘kay?” 

what could he possibly do but accept? there was no way he could reject you, not with the toothy grin you flashed at him and the tight hug you enveloped him in right after. 

that was how he first got pulled into your orbit. 

from that point on, you, him, and the twins were practically inseparable. you went on adventures together everyday, catching bugs, riding your bikes, playing pranks on your parents, etc. 

while most of the time, it seemed as though he was just being dragged along, he couldn’t deny that he had fun. 

even though the twins were as annoying as ever, he didn’t actually mind you. he didn’t mind getting sneak attacked by your snowballs when it snowed in the winter, and he didn’t mind listening to you sing loudly and out of tune into the fan during the summer. 

to say the least, he found you bearable. 

he began noticing a change when he was 13, at the start of a new school year. the four of you hung out frequently, almost everyday during school hours and afterschool. yet, something had changed about the dynamic of this friend group that he couldn’t quite place.

maybe it was the way your gaze would linger on atsumu’s for longer than usual. maybe it was the way atsumu would trip over his words when you showed up. maybe it was the way it seemed like you and atsumu were slowly drifting away from him and osamu into you two’s own little world. maybe, just maybe, it was the way what used to be plans that were shared by the four of you became one on one hangouts between you and atsumu.

perhaps that’s why it didn’t shock him when you two announced that you were dating just a few weeks later. 

he couldn’t blame you for falling for him. after all, atsumu was charming, funny, talented, and treated you well. why wouldn’t you?

unfortunately, this fact didn’t stop the uneasy feeling that settled in his chest for weeks after. 

he passed it off as a side effect of the summer heat. 

when you were 15, you were arguing with atsumu almost everyday. most of the time it was just stupid stuff, like him being late to a date or leaving you on read. when he got more invested in volleyball, however, he began spending less and less time with you.

the arguments only got worse and worse. at some point, suna was sure you two were going to break up, but you never did.

one summer night, you two were eating ice cream at local convenience store. it was like any other conversation of you two’s at the time: you complaining about atsumu and him quietly listening. 

“what should i do, rin? he’s so frustrating… it doesn’t even seem like he’s wants to be with me anymore! all he ever talks about volleyball… i mean, does he even like ME anymore? maybe he’s just too busy for a relationship.”

he stared at the moon as he listened to you ramble. it was strangely beautiful tonight. he wanted to take out his phone and snap a picture, but he knew you’d get upset. 

“why don’t you just break up with him?”

he had interrupted you abruptly, so he expected you to reprimand him. instead, you went completely silent.

he turned to look at you, expecting an answer, but was surprised by what he saw. 

you were covering your face with your hands, but there was no way he could mistake the tears welling up in your eyes for anything else.

“i know, i mean, i’ve considered it so many times. i’m an idiot, i know, but i,” you blubbered, hiccupping as you spoke, “i don’t want to leave him.”

it was silent for a few seconds, and when you looked up at him, he was watching you carefully. 

“why?”

you looked down again and swallowed before replying. “because i love him, suna. i love him so much, i can’t imagine being without him. i know it might just be because i’m young and stupid, but i don’t want to give up on us.”

you were slightly startled by the comforting touch of his head on your head, patting you as if you were a pet. 

“things will work out. atsumu loves you too, he’s just an idiot. don’t doubt yourself, dumbass.”

you choked out a laugh as you wiped your tears. 

“thanks, rin. i’m so glad you’re my best friend.”

you gave him your signature toothy grin, and his heart did the thing, just as it always did when you smiled at him, and just as he always would, he’d brush it off as him being sick. man, he really needed to get this heart problem checked out.

even as you continued your rant about your incompetent boyfriend, suna wondered how, even with your puffy eyes and red nose, you managed to look like that. how the moonlight perfectly traced your features, as if gently kissing every aspect of your face.  

perhaps he’d known it for a while, but was in denial, that he felt something for you that a best friend shouldn’t. but what could he do? 

you were in love with atsumu, and this was an absolute. a fact of life, just like how humans needed air to live and the sky was blue. 

when you were 17, your relationship had gotten past the arguing stage and was relatively stable. you went every game of inarizaki’s that you could, cheering for them from the sidelines.

there was one particular game that stuck with suna. it was a victory in a difficult game against karasuno. 

after the game, he saw you running up to him, and spread his arms, ready to receive your hug. 

but it wasn’t him you were running to. it was atsumu. it wasn’t his hug to receive. it was atsumu’s. you ran past him, jumping into atsumu’s arms, and he spun you around as you congratulated him with kisses. 

he’d remember that moment forever, because it’d serve as a reminder that it would never be him, and that he shouldn’t ever get his hopes up.

when he was 18, he received a text from you that would end your 11 year friendship. you two had been distant for a while, so it shouldn’t have been too surprising. 

“hey, suna. we’ve been friends for so long, and it breaks my heart to do this to us, but i don’t think we should be friends anymore. atsumu doesn’t want me being too close to any guys, which is understandable, so i think it’s only right of me to do this. i’m sorry, and i wish you the best. i hope you’ll remember me as your best best friend :)”

he considered calling you, but stopped himself. what did he want from you? an explanation? you’d already given him one. there wasn’t anything he could do. 

he buried himself in volleyball to force himself to forget you, what you two had, or rather, what he had for you. it worked, for a while, until he received a sudden call from an unknown number on his 22nd birthday. 

he was out with his team, getting drinks at a bar. he probably would’ve declined, if not for the gut feeling that rose in his stomach when he saw the number. so he stepped out and answered.

“hello? ri- oops, suna, is that you?”

he swore he felt his heart rate accelerate as soon as he heard your voice through the speaker. 

“yeah, it’s me. is this y/n?” you’d gotten a new number, he noted. 

“yes, i know, this is sudden and weird, and i don’t want to intrude, but i know it’s your birthday, so i just wanted to say happy birthday. i hope you’re doing well. i know it’s not my place to say this, so i’m sorry-“

you were rambling, just as you always did when you were stressed or nervous. it made him a little happy, knowing you hadn’t changed.

“it’s okay,” he interrupted, “thank you for that. i’m doing well. how are you?”

he’d spend the next hour on the phone with you, catching up on your lives, until one of his teammates popped his head out of the restaurant and asked if he was coming back in.

“i’m definitely ruining your birthday night huh? i’m so sorry, i’ll let you get back to that. but, if it’s okay, would you like to meet up sometime? i’ll text you, if it’s okay?”

“yeah, sure.”

“happy birthday, rin!” was all he heard before you hung up. the nickname gave him a rush of nostalgia, one that warmed his insides.

he went back inside the bar with a stupid grin on his face that he couldn’t wipe off, one that would get him teased by his teammates for the rest of the night.

a week later, he finds himself in a cozy cafe near his house that he never knew existed, pretending to browse the weather app on his phone as he waits. 

he’s so nervous he doesn’t even notice you until you sit down directly in front of him, setting down your bag with dozens of clinking keychains attached. 

you laugh as you see him visibly startle. “it’s just me, suna. sorry i’m a little late. how long’ve you been waiting for?”

“just a few minutes, don’t worry.”

he pauses to take in your appearance. you’re as beautiful as ever. you seem more mature now (how stupid, you’re both adults now after all), but he can still see glimpses of your much younger self in the smile you give him. 

he snaps himself out of his trance when you speak up, “i know all i’ve been doing since we started talking again is apologizing, but i’m genuinely sorry, suna. i shouldn’t have done that to you. i threw away our friendship like it was nothing. i told myself it was for the better, that atsumu needed me, and i wanted to be the best girlfriend for him. but i’ve since realized how naive i was.” you pause, thinking back to your nearly ten year relationship. he sees something in your eyes he didn’t when you two were together, and suna can’t stop himself from asking. 

“are you two… still together?” 

you can almost laugh at how hesitant he sounds, like he’s trying not to step on a landmine. 

“no, we’re not. we broke up a year ago, and i’ve realized it was for the better.” when you see his questioning gaze, you continue, “i feel like most of our relationship, i was basically living for him. i centered my life around him. i lost friends and hobbies all for a guy who i know now cares more about volleyball than he could about anybody. i’m the biggest idiot in the world.” 

you feel the tears coming back to you, but you force them down. you’re here to apologize, not to make an even bigger fool of yourself.

“you’re not an idiot, y/n. you found something great, and you just wanted to treasure it. it’s his fault he couldn’t appreciate that.”

as he says this, he gives you an adoring smile, as if saying he thinks you’ve hung the moon and stars, and you feel your heart swoon a little at the sight. 

“do you.. accept my apology? i know we might not be able to go back to the way we were before, but can we at least be friends again? as selfish as this may seem, i miss what we had, suna.”

“i’m sorry, i don’t think i can do that, y/n.”

a feeling of dejection washes you, but you do your best to quickly brush it off. 

“i understand. again, i’m sorry. i’m glad we had the chance to catch up, though. i should leave now-“

“you misunderstood. i can’t be just friends with you. the reason i wanted to catch up with you wasn’t so we could just be friends.”

the next words he says are the exact ones you never thought he’d say, let alone to you.

“i like you. no, i’m in love with you. it took a while to come to terms with, but i’ve been in love with you since we first became best friends. i thought i’d be able to act normal after seeing you again, that the feeling would fade, but it hasn’t. in fact, it’s only gotten stronger.”

suna thought he’d have trouble saying it, but as soon as it started, the words came out naturally, likely because the feelings he felt for you came just as naturally to him.

“now, if we’re going to be friends, i want it to be with the intention of becoming lovers in the future. i know you’re still getting over him, and you’re not ready, but if you ever think you are and you want to give me a chance, i’m right here.”

“i always have been,” he adds.

you’re speechless, and you swear you feel like your heart is pumping at 200 mph. you’d be lying if you said before you began dating atsumu, you’d never seen him as a potential partner, but that was so long ago and you were just a kid.

“oh. i’m- what? sorry, i’m just really surprised. i don’t know what to say, suna.”

“that’s alright. i’m not expecting anything right now, but in the future, if you’re looking for something, let me be the first option, yeah?”

that night, he feels like a heavy weight has been lifted off his heart. he goes to sleep thinking about how pretty you looked in the cafe.

a couple months later, you two go on your first ever date. it’s a picnic by the river near your house, and it just so happens to be on the day of a lantern festival. you both make wishes as you light your lanterns and set them into the water. he makes a quick wish that your wish will come true, and after he watches as you intently make yours. you look so cute, he can’t help but snap a picture. he should make that his lock screen, he decides.

he asks you out officially just a few months later. it happens during a romantic, candlelit dinner at his house. you’re a little drunk from the wine, so you start crying about how considerate he is and how much you like him, pulling him into a tight hug. he can’t wipe the stupid smile off his face as he comforts you.

one unsuspecting weekend, suna announces that he’ll be flying you out to one of his official volleyball games. it’s sudden, but you want to support him, so you don’t put up a fight. you’re sitting on the bleachers before the game begins, and it’s so crowded you can barely hear, but there’s no mistaking the way the announcer calls your name. you look at suna questioningly, and he gestures for you to come down. when you finally make it down onto the court, all his teammates are standing off to the side. as you get closer to suna, he smiles, and it’s so bright that you can’t help but smile back. 

he then gets down on one knee, and you swear your heart almost explodes on the spot. before he can finish his question, you jump on him, enveloping him in a hug that ends up with you on top of him on the ground. as the tears well up in your eyes, you watch as he slides the ring on your finger intently, and you realize you must have been an idiot to not notice him all this time.

divider source: cafekitsune!!

[kerink]

putting aside my issues with continuity (because i know there's a debate about what "continuity" means in wtnv) and putting aside my personal preferences, i'd like to talk about what's made me unhappy the last two seasons:

i think the story telling is bad

that's not to say brinknor aren't creative people and good writers, they are. that's why i listen to and enjoy the show. i've also read their more stand-alone and self-contained works, i know they are talented. this is not a dig on them or their abilities. if i didn't like them or their work i wouldn't bother with it

the main issue, for me, is that i think the last two seasons have been trying to cram in more ideas than the season length has air for, so we're not seeing the complete story. i think too much is being left intentionally vague for fans to play with in a way that doesn't work

year 10 ends with carlos becoming a night vale citizen and him reflecting on whether or not he's okay with that, whether or not he feels like he actually belongs here, despite that having been his main struggle while he was trapped in the dow. we saw that although carlos has committed to and prioritized night vale, and that was ostensibly enough for him to be accepted, he did not actually accept night vale back. we assumed that carlos' commitment to cecil over his work was him finally finding his place, but all it was was him finding his priorities. maybe it wasn't that night vale had rejected him, maybe it was that night vale was attempt to protect its voice, and only allowed carlos back once he agreed to love cecil like the town does

and then janet shows up. at the end of year 11, janet said that her primary motive for coming to night vale was to get back at carlos. we saw blake bullying carlos for having abandoned the university and how he's viewed as a disgrace. we saw the university staff threaten cecil. janet ruins the town that got carlos' name on the map. all of these events are congruous with the above struggle: does carlos belong in night vale or does he belong in the real world? is carlos a citizen or an interloper?

but that isn't the main struggle that plays out. other than what was stated above, and janet making a few backhanded remarks about carlos' bad science, there is zero evidence that janet's primary motive was to hurt carlos until she says so at the very end. in fact, at the beginning of the season, she stated that he primary motive was to make night vale normal. that's in line with her actions far more than hurting carlos is. hurting carlos feels like a bonus to what janet actually wants: to be in control and in charge. the majority of the season is spent antagonizing dana (which was narratively unsatisfying because it was a bland rehash of the a matter of blood arc, but i digress). carlos is not a participant in this story, he hides and he lets the city protect itself, he lets cecil take the heat for him

and when we step back and look at y11 in the context of the primary theme of y10's finale we learn the answer: carlos is an interloper

as soon as science becomes threatening again the town turns on him. they reject him, they strip him of his power, they judge cecil for being with him. the town did not accept carlos, they had a truce with him formed out of his marriage to cecil

y11 left a lot of questions unanswered: how long has carlos actually been gone? what contact did he have with the university after y1? who is still looking for him? what role does dr. kayyali and her search party have in this? was the glow cloud (all hail) the only perma-death?why did janet's explanation of the glow cloud (all hail) not kill its child too? why did the university have such a large staff? why did the entire staff turn on janet so easily and so quickly?

and narratively it feels unsatisfying because janet's stated motives were not in congruence with her actions. which fine. people lie. maybe janet was lying about what she wanted to prevent carlos from meddling. maybe she did want to ruin night vale for him but got distracted by the whole doubles thing so picked that up as a side project. maybe we only heard so much about what janet was doing to dana because cecil cares about dana and carlos asked cecil not to talk about the plan he was forming to defeat janet. i can accept all of that, i just wish we'd gotten a whiff of it instead of having it entirely being left to interpretation

so we leave y11 with questions about what the point of it all was when a) there was only 1 permanent consequence that we're aware of and b) it didn't provide us any new information. we got the most about carlos' backstory we've ever gotten, but that was really the only thing you could say came out of y11. and even learning that about carlos felt violating, felt inappropriate, furthered our question of who is carlos and what role does he have in town

and it seems like carlos felt it too, because he decides to go back to the dow. when he was there he gained wisdom about himself and who he was and what he wanted from life. he figured himself out and found his place in the night vale. after a year of having his status as professor robles of the university of what it is questioned and derided by janet and her team, and having his status as carlos the scientist hero of night vale scorned and rejected by the town, he wanted to return and gain clarity on how he picks up the pieces of himself

but that's not what happens either!

the boy shows up and the story becomes about him. we don't learn where the boy came from, how he appeared in night vale, why he's in night vale instead of desert bluffs, how the timeline supports there being two kevins when back in e106 and e209 the timeline made sure to kill the duplicate cecil. how did no one see that the boy looked like cecil? it could have been a fun reveal if everyone thought it was another little cecil (also playing into all the palmer childhood lore this season) only to bait and switch it being a young kevin. we don't learn why tamika specifically took over raising him or how carlos instinctively knew to keep the boy away from his family. we don't learn how the boy was rapidly aging while in night vale or what age he wound up stopping at when kevin took him away. we don't learn why mother lauren absorbed him instead of killing him outright, since she seemed more than happy to try to get rid of kevin. what happened to the boy's desire to be his own person and create his own timeline away from kevin's fate? isn't the finale a tragedy and not a happy ending? what did this season matter if everything he learned about himself and the world was erased? the boy does not get a full story because too much air was given to lauren and kevin

with lauren we don't learn how she re-made a name for herself in desert bluffs too, how she got in the smiling god's good graces, how she manifested the power she presented with in night vale, how her rise to power impacted kevin's control over dbt, what the state of dbt is after lauren left for night vale, what was her motivation for even coming to night vale, what did the night vale chapter of the joyous congregation think about this, did carlos' killing the centipede matter at all and does anyone care? lauren does not get a full story because too much air was given to kevin and the boy

with kevin we don't learn what becomes of his theocracy, what becomes of his control of the church, what did his speech on changing even mean and how does it impact things when he's choosing to create a time loop? when kevin said he was going to bring someone back with him, who was he talking about? where are charles and donovan and what do they think? why do kevin and carlos not interact even a single time? does the night vale chapter of the joyous congregation care that their prophet has returned and what does kevin's defending of night vale mean for their beliefs? kevin does not get a full story because too much air was given to the boy and lauren

some of these questions are nitpicks, some are good things to leave vague and up to the audience. the main issue here is that: 1) the boy does not get a beginning to his story, the middle of his story ultimately didn't matter because mother lauren erased it, and he has no true ending because we already know what that looks like and in its being a time loop it will never end; 2) lauren does not get a beginning or a middle to her story; and 3) kevin's motives are totally all over the place. does he want to change or is he still so afraid of losing control that being able to control his own terrible future brings him some kind of closure? why is the best he can offer the boy the same horrific life he's spent the last century trying to recover from?

and carlos does not get a story at all. none of this mattered. carlos wanted to go back to the dow but he never did, he never got the chance, we never saw what he did with the time that he had. is carlos doomed to living in this space of not knowing who he is or what his role is because he quite literally had to pull the plug on the one place that offered him a safe haven to explore himself?

in trying to tell the stories of 4 people, no one got a story at all

and that's what's really frustrating, it's just felt like the last two season's haven't mattered, moved along the primary story, or evolved any of the characters in satisfying ways

y1 carlos decided to stay in night vale; y2 strexcorp was defeated; y3 cecil freed himself from lot 37 and carlos confirmed his decision to stay in night vale; y4 night vale freed itself from the beagle puppy and hiram mcdaniels was brought to justice; y5 night vale fell apart and had to find a way to anchor itself in reality; y6 focused on resting after y5 and had the 2 and 3 parters, diving deeper into specific characters; y7 was about fixing time and the consequences of doing so; y8 was about the delta flight; y9 was about frank chen; y10 was another character-focused rest season concluding in carlos becoming a citizen; y11 was the university of what it is; and y12 was about the boy

other than y11 and y12, all the previous seasons had lasting consequences on the story at large. they had domino effects into how future seasons would be focused. the outcomes of those seasons had permanent changes on the town and its people. everything janet did was erased by carlos. everything the boy went through was erased by mother lauren. janet's season should have led carlos down a path of continued self-discovery and reinvention. the boy's season should have led kevin to further growth and change, and could have paralleled the palmer family story by showing how kevin was trying to overcome his own trauma and build a family with charles. maybe it's just too soon. frank chen was murdered in y1 and it wasn't until y9 that his story was resolved. maybe i'm just hyper critical and impatient

but i feel like a lot of people are noticing this trend and are speaking up about it. i was active in the fandom from 2012-2015, and then picked it up again in 2021. it wasn't until y11 that i felt that a season wasn't finished. other seasons had left me with questions, had left some loose ends, but i always felt satisfied with where we were at once the summer hiatus hit. i don't feel that way with y11 and y12, i've walked away from both now going "okay now what? so what? huh?"

i don't know. i'm kind of running out of steam for this post. the point i wanted to make is this: y11 and y12 have not had character motives that have strongly correlated to their subsequent actions; i don't feel like characters are being given complete stories with beginnings, middles, and ends; and they've both left me feeling like none of it ultimately mattered

anyway. that's my two cents.

[angellesword]

BAGGAGE | JJK (07)

Summary: Drowning in debt and blood, Jeon Jungkook knows he's better off alone, lest he brings people down with him.

But one drunken night changes everything.

In a blink of an eye, Jungkook found himself drowning not only in debt and blood, but also in dirty diapers and judgmental stares from you, a.k.a his long-lost love and the guardian of the son he didn't even know existed.

Genre and warnings: best friends to lovers, co-parenting, idiots in love, mutual pining, angst, fluff, implied smut, kissing, minor character death, slight getting back together, drama, OC cusses excessively so watch out, blood, pregnancy, discussion of abortion, giving birth

Pairing: dad! Jungkook x adoptive mom!Reader

Word Count: 6.1k

← Previous Chapter (06) | Next Chapter (08) →

****

Six Years Ago, 2017:

France was not all that you expected. One would think people pursuing their doctorate degrees would be busier with their academic lives, but it looked like French people cared more about their social lives.

"Come on, just a few more steps!" Elyna, your classmate, chuckled while dragging your warm, sweaty body across the street. She almost tasted victory when she got a glimpse of the façade of your apartment.

Admittedly, Elyna still gets jealous whenever she remembers your apartment being nicer than hers. Talk about favoritism, huh? You were both scholars of Sorbonne University pursuing your doctorate degrees, but Professor Verlaine liked you the most.

"There you go! You can look after yourself, right? Bye, cutie." Elyna kissed your cheek before practically throwing you in your front door.

You were smaller in stature compared to your French classmates, making it easier for them to push and pull you around. You groaned when your back hit the door.

You were too drunk to cuss your classmate, so you could only suck it up and push yourself to enter your apartment. After what felt like forever, you finally stumbled inside, puffing out a breath and debating whether to just sleep on the floor.

Hours of clubbing with your classmates messed you up. You shouldn't have gone with them, but those shitty French didn't really give you a choice. Even Verlaine encouraged you to go out, going as far as postponing the submission of your business paper so you could have a fun Friday night.

Verlaine's exact words were, "Have fun. You've been in France for months already. You're the only international student who hasn't gone clubbing here."

You did not care for clubs. In fact, you hated them. You only attended your graduation parties and some quiet bars with Jungkook.

"Hah! Stupid pompous freak!" You cussed your traitor of a best friend, wanting nothing but to beat yourself for thinking about that bastard. You had done so well suppressing thoughts about Jungkook for the whole day. It's ten minutes before midnight. How could you fail so miserably?

You struggled to fish your phone out of your pocket, vision doubling, but that did not stop you from sending chains of messages to Jungkook.

To: Jungkook-shit I fucking hate you traitor

To: Jungkook-shit yoi betrayed me freak,. i hope you rot in hell

To: Jungkook-shit fucker

To: Jungkook-shit i hate you so mcuch pleas fo me a favor snd die

To: Jungkook-shit i will ndcevef dorgive you digshfit 

To: Jungkook-shit dick 

To: Jungkook-shit duck you

To: Jungkook-shit ny heart hirts

To: Jungkook-shitcan we go back?

The last message remained unsent as your intoxication finally caught up to you. You dropped your phone on the floor, face hitting the cold tiles as darkness clouded your vision.

You fell asleep.

***

That night, you had a long dream, which you were pretty sure had happened in real life—back when you were still very small, probably at five years old.

If you thought about it, you'd say the dream slash memory was triggered by going to a club with Elyna and the others. Your dream started off in a club, too.

Your Jisoo-unnie told you to hide in the closet and never make a sound, no matter who tried calling your name. You were an obedient child, only trusting your older sister. But it didn't mean your mother was as kind as Jisoo. Your mom would boss you around as she entertained guests. You basically served as an errand girl at a young age, forced to keep your mouth shut even when you saw your mother and the other girls get violently beaten up by rogue men.

"Where is my sister!?"

You were lighting heavy scented candles for your mother and client when you heard your sister's voice.

Your ears involuntarily perked up. You threw the matchbox aside and immediately ran out of the club's private room.

"Jisoo-unnie?" You blinked innocently.

Your sister was standing there, looking as if she was going to smack your mother. But Jisoo stopped when she heard you call for her.

"Don't take her away!" Your mother screeched and tried to pull Jisoo's hair.

Jisoo dodged, immediately running toward you and hugging your frail body. She covered your ears. "I will take her away! Please. Stop it! She’s just a kid!"

"Bah!" Your mother spat. "She earns me money, unlike a brat like you!"

"I will take her place." Jisoo did not even hesitate. She hugged you tighter. "Let me be your errand girl or whatever you want me to do. I will do it. Just leave her alone."

You couldn't properly hear what the adults were talking about. Jisoo covered your ear tighter to ensure you heard nothing. It took a while before your mother spat on the ground for the second time, but she relented and let Jisoo take you away.

Your memories were pretty vague. All you remembered was that Jisoo had brought you into a tiny apartment; it was cramped and dark and smelled like dead rats. But it was better than those heavy-scented rooms at the club. At least in here, Jisoo cared for you and did not try to beat you up.

It didn't mean all your trauma would go away instantly, though. There were many moments when you would wake up in the middle of the night, silently crying because of a nightmare. You usually dreamt about your mother's client beating up girls and throwing profanities at everyone, including you.

"It's okay, my little one. Your Jisoo-unnie is here, I'll protect you." You weren't sure if you were recalling memories of the past or if it was just part of your drunken dream. All you knew was that Jisoo's warm embrace was palpable. She used to cradle your little body in her arms.

You were a docile kid, wings clipped by those men at the club. They used to threaten to beat you up if you so much as made a small noise or a mistake. For a long time, you carried that pain and refused to talk to your Jisoo-unnie, or anyone else, for that matter. At school, kids made fun of you for acting all meek and weak.

There was a time when Jisoo was called by your teacher, asking if there was something wrong at home for you to act so distantly. You were seven years old around at this time, and you still didn't understand adult words. You just recalled your teacher telling Jisoo that you needed therapy or whatever that was.

Jisoo was barely of legal age. Your mother had a cut whenever Jisoo took in clients at the club. She spent more than half her money to feed you and ensure you could attend class.

Your Jisoo-unnie only had one reminder: "Study well, my dear. That's all I ask. You can get anything you want if you're smart and have lots of money."

You still didn't speak much but diligently followed whatever your sister said. Things took a turn after your teacher talked to Jisoo. The latter took the teacher's advice to heart, but she didn't have enough money to bring you to a professional. She could simply improvise.

"My dear, there's nothing to be scared of anymore, okay? I won't ever hurt you the way they did. Here," Jisoo offered her cheek to you. "You can slap me and tell me all the bad things those men did to you, I won't ever fight back."

You shook your head rapidly, cowering. Memories of those nasty men came like a tidal wave, sweeping you off your feet until you felt nauseated.

"Sshh, my dear. It's okay. Just try, okay...You're okay."

It took a lot of conviction before you relented. Every day, Jisoo would coax you to act like a regular kid who was not frightened of acting difficult and throwing tantrums. She made you feel like it was okay to be mean and that whatever you did or said, you would still be loved—this was the beginning of you having a sharp mouth that couldn't go one statement with profanities leaving your mouth.

You got away with so many things because of Jisoo.

That had been your setup for many years, but your life slowly progressed. You worked hard in school while Jisoo did all the jobs available to her. You got out of that tiny apartment and were able to move to a new house. You were initially reluctant to leave, afraid you would lose connection with the first friend you made in the neighborhood—Jungkook.

You didn't talk to Jungkook before, either. You two would casually sit beside each other and be in your own world.

"You don't have an adult at home? Cool, me too." That was the first thing Jungkook told you. You weren't bothered by his presence before, but Jungkook had become insufferable over time, teasing you here and there until you had to snarl at him.

Despite your banter, you had grown attached to Jungkook and even begged Jisoo not to separate you. Jisoo smiled at you, ruffling your hair and explaining that you would only move to a nicer home, but it was still around the area.

You felt relief flood your veins. Things were going well. You slowly healed from your traumatic childhood as you stayed close to Jungkook and your Jisso-unnie. Your sister kept her promise, never once leaving you.

Every day, Jisoo would go home to you. You gingerly waited for your sister to arrive; you'd set aside your homework and other stuff to open your front door and greet Jisoo with a simple "Welcome home!"

You couldn't maintain your happy façade as Jisoo smiled faintly at you, coughing and smelling like smoke. There were bags under her eyes, too exhausted at her work at the club.

You were getting older. You thought you could apply for a part-time job and help your sibling with the expenses, but Jisoo wanted you to focus on your studies. She brushed your concern off, saying, "It's just secondhand smoke. You know those men at the club, they can't live without cigarettes. Don't worry."

As usual, you blindly followed your sister's request. You hid your verbal concerns and could only welcome her home with hot water with honey. You did your best to care for your Jisoo-unnie until you moved to the university dorm and got busier with school. As time passed, your time with Jisoo lessened until it reached a point where Jisoo would not contact you. She even went as far as betraying you.

She must have known, right? How could she not know that you were hopelessly in love with Jungkook? How could the two most important people in your life betray you like this?

It just didn't make sense.

But then again, nothing made sense—not when feelings were involved. For instance, you flew all the way to Europe so you wouldn't have to deal with the mess back in Incheon. You had cut off connections with Jungkook and Jisoo, but months later, right when you were recovering from your hangover from clubbing too much, was when your doorbell rang.

It's probably Professor Verlaine, you thought. You didn't bother checking the peephole because, for one, you didn't want to see your professor looking prim and proper while you looked like shit. You were still wearing your clothes from last night and you just got up from the floor. Seeing Verlaine at the peephole would make you want to freshen up first; you just didn't have the energy for that.

And for fuck's sake. It's seven in the morning. Seven! Anyone who dared to disturb you at this ungodly hour deserved to see your bed hair, drool on the side of your mouth included.

So you opened the door, fully expecting to grin at your professor, but your smile froze mid-air.

You were still hungover, yet your reflexes were as agile as ever.

You slammed the door shut—no, wait, that's wrong. You swore you were about to slam the door shut. You were not a pushover and didn't intend to talk to your traitor sister.

But you stood there, stiff and unable to shut the door to her face when you heard her cough.

A stupid fucking cough.

Jisoo coughed, and you felt as if you were a child again, excited to open the door and welcome your sister home with hot water mixed with honey from the comb.

***

In hindsight, you should have seen it coming. Jisoo could go a long time without contacting you, though she could never cut you off completely.

Once, she promised to stay with you forever, and until now, that promise still stands.

A promise is a promise.

Jisoo was sitting on your couch. You foolishly let her in, heart still throbbing after hearing your sister's cough. It was just a stupid cough, yet you felt your resolve crumbling.

This can't be. You couldn't possibly still have a soft spot for her.

"Ya having a sidepiece spawn?"—so you attacked her.

Jisoo visibly flinched at the roughness of your tone. You sighed a breath of relief. Her expression would help you sleep at night: Jisoo lowered her eyes, lashes trembling because of your intense look at her stomach. You longed to damage her heart until all she wished to do was run.

Jisoo called your name, choking back a sob. It was hard to say if it was because of the guilt she felt toward you or if it was because of what you called her unborn child.

Yes, Jisoo was heavily pregnant.

It was unfair. Jisoo felt the kick in her belly while you felt like your heart had been stomped.

"It's Jungkook's." There was no room for rebuttal. You said it with finality.

Jisoo didn't deny it, either.

"Of fucking course." You chuckled mercilessly. "How many rounds of 'playing around' did it take before you finally managed to get knocked up?"

"We weren't playing around." Jisoo defended. It was real. The thing they have done, it was real. "But I never dated him."

You scoffed. "But you fucked him." Your jaw slackened. Looking at your sister ignited your anger.

"Once." Jisoo was desperate.

You did not know what to feel anymore. A searing headache hit you. You barked a laugh.

"Tell me, Jisoo-unnie," you said pointedly. You might as well knife her heart. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Crashing defeat settled at the pit of Jisoo's stomach. The baby kicked her tummy aggressively like it was punishing her, too.

Jisoo called your name, trying again. "It was a one-time thing."

"A one-time thing." You repeated. It was probably said to reassure you, but it didn't. If anything, you just found a way to nitpick her excuse. "Not a one-time mistake?"

Jisoo inhaled sharply. For a moment, she looked like she wanted to cup her stomach to calm her baby, but she saw your piercing gaze there, leaving Jisoo no choice but to keep her hands on her side.

"We were both drunk. I admit, it was a moment of weakness."

Cliche. You snarled, feeling acid burn your throat. You wanted to vomit bile. "Still not calling it a mistake?"

"We both wanted it."

"Why!" Millions of questions attacked your head at once. Why did you betray me!? Why did you sleep with him, out of all people!? Was it good!? Was it worth breaking my trust? Why did you want it!?

Jisoo parted her lips, seemingly ready to answer your query, but you raised your hand to shut her up.

Jisoo obediently followed. 

"Don't answer that." You felt your knees buckling. You wanted to crawl and die.

"It is—"

"Please, stop." You were certain your heart had been broken to pieces, and you thought there was no way Jisoo could shatter it more.

But now you weren’t so sure anymore.

You could only storm off to your room, slamming the door and hoping Jisoo would leave you alone.

***

Jisoo did not leave you alone. She was sheepishly sitting on the couch when you emerged from your room.

"You're still here," you observed, no snark in your voice, but exhaustion was there. 

"I will be here," Jisoo responded with a small smile.

You ignored her, but she kept her promise.

She stayed the whole day in your home. The next day, she was still there.

Then the next.

And the next day.

And the next day.

And the next day.

And the next day.

And the next day.

You couldn't keep track anymore.

***

You and Jisoo were certainly not on good terms or talking terms. Fortunately, you learned to cohabitate without tearing each other apart.

Sometimes, you would buy baby clothes for Jisoo's child. You’d leave the shopping bag on the couch where your sister usually sat. However, you wouldn’t wait to see her reaction after checking the clothes.

Once, though, you accidentally saw her hugging the new clothes you had bought.

You caught Jisoo's gaze. Your sister smiled shyly at you.

Unlike before, you didn't immediately look away. In fact, you gazed at her as if asking, "It's white. A pretty neutral color. That should work, right?"

You weren't siblings without a reason. Jisoo picked up the question in your eyes.

She embraced the clothes tighter. "It's a boy. You’re going to have a nephew."

You did not react. You cast your gaze away and wordlessly left your sister alone.

But the next day, you had ten shopping bags in your hand. You left them at the usual spot.

Blue. You brought blue clothes and a bunch of toys.

You also brought pink clothes because assigning colors to gender was stupid.

But also because your nephew would surely look cute in blue, pink, and all other colors.

***

Jisoo was 32 weeks pregnant when you made up your mind to say something to her.

"That's it." You barged into the bathroom, catching your sister on the spot. She was vomiting blood.

Jisoo gave a start; her eyes were glistening with tears when she snapped her head up and met your glare. She hurriedly wiped her mouth.

"Why are you here?" Jisoo felt cornered, so she stepped back like a frightened lamb.

You smacked your lips together, finding this situation ridiculous. Jisoo had already slept with Jungkook; nothing could ever top that betrayal, so why was she acting like you would strangle her for puking blood?

"This is my apartment, in case you forgot."

"That's not what I meant." Jisoo inhaled as she struggled to swallow blood back to her stomach. "You're supposed to be at school."

"Yeah, whatever I skipped." You couldn't bear to see your trembling sister any longer. You helped her sit on the wide edge of the bathtub.

You worried about your Jisoo-unnie. She'd been retching in the bathroom almost daily. She thought she could hide it by turning the faucet on to muffle the sound, but she was wrong.

You planned to put an end to this. Your brow creased. "Enough with your bullshit. You are thirty-two weeks pregnant, and you can't possibly still be experiencing morning sickness. Even if you were, you'd be vomiting vile or that strawberry yogurt you've been eating every day. Not fucking blood."

"It's fine." Jisoo brushed it off, making a move to stand and end this conversation. You two never talked for more than one minute since she arrived, so why were you being loud now?

"You are not getting out of this conversation." You blocked her way out, glaring at her with the storm in your eyes. "I'll ask again. Why are you vomiting blood?"

The silence was deafening.

You wanted to punch the mirror. You cursed your sister; your eyes were turning bloodshot. The betrayal from before was back in full force. The fact that Jisoo wasn't telling you anything made you feel like she was hiding a nasty secret again.

You couldn't handle any more treachery. You might actually die.

"Don't lie to me again—" You cut yourself off, afraid you’d make yourself look pathetic by murmuring a soft please.

Jisoo stubbornly refused to speak. She watched as tears fell into her open palm.

She had done so well hiding this. She didn't want to tell you about her sickness, but every second that passed made Jisoo feel like the distance between you and her was stretching.

In the end, she could only concede. 

"I'm dying." Shallow breath. "I've cancer."

This time, it wasn't the distance that stretched but the silence.

Jisoo dared to peek at your reaction as the silence made her uncomfortable. Only two people knew she was sick: Jungkook and now you.

Jungkook at least hugged her and wiped her hands, telling her it would be all right.

But Jungkook was Jungkook. She hadn't done anything to hurt him.

But you? She shattered and betrayed you, so she should have expected it when she heard your giddy chuckle. However, when Jisoo looked at you, no sign of happiness or sadness could be traced on your face.

It was eerily impassive.

And then she heard you say:

"Good. That's good. I hope you die."

The bathroom door slammed shut, leaving Jisoo with tears in her eyes and kicking unborn child.

***

Jisoo was 33 weeks pregnant when you gave up on radio silence. Your sister was lying on the bed she bought herself. Your apartment only had one bedroom, but Jisoo still squeezed herself in. Seeing her dozing off on the couch was a pain, so one day, you brought brochures where Jisoo could choose a bed of her liking.

Jisoo bought a single bed, putting it close to your bed. You two slept without bothering each other. Tonight, though, you couldn't take it anymore.

You lay on your side, staring directly at Jisoo. Your sister was already looking at you.

She smiled and said hi.

You didn't bother with greetings. You went straight to the point.

"What type of cancer." It was like you were reporting the weather, refusing to ask the question properly. Your monotonous voice made you appear apathetic. No one knew how heavy your heart was.

"Does it matter?" Jisoo cupped her bulging belly. Her baby seemed excited whenever he heard his aunt speaking. He was wildly kicking Jisoo's belly.

"Tsk. Just answer the damn question. Why do you have to make everything difficult?"

This was starting to get on your nerves. Even after everything that happened, you still weren’t used to Jisoo not indulging you.

"It's not difficult. It just doesn't matter. I'm dying, anyway." Just like what you wanted. But Jisoo didn't say the last part. She was not in a position to hold grudges against you.

You hugged your pillow to your chest like you wanted to shield your heart that was about to jump out of your body.

"Just answer."

It was getting harder for you to breathe. Beads of sweat formed on your forehead; you couldn't seem to get the image of Jisoo coughing in your head.

Please don't let it be lung cancer. Please don't let it be lung cancer. Please don't let it be lung cancer. Please don't let it be lung cancer. Please don't let it be lung cancer—

"It's lung cancer."

Your heart missed a beat.

"How much time do you have left?" You dug your nails into the pillow while Jisoo sighed. She was sure you couldn't wait for her to die.

"Not too long. Maybe I'll pass soon after I have my baby."

"But why." Jisoo wasn't sure if she was imagining things, but she thought she heard you whine. "Don't you have a treatment plan? Fucking chemotherapy and stuff?"

"Chemotherapy is harmful for the baby." Jisoo's tone was soft.

"Fuck the baby!"

Even you were surprised by how resentful you were. But it was true, wasn't it? Her baby was the devil's spawn. It was the fruit of betrayal, so why was Jisoo choosing it over herself?

"Why didn't you abort it?" You abruptly sat on the bed, shooting daggers at Jisoo. A whirlpool of abuse danced at the tip of your tongue. You didn't voice it out because Jisoo looked sad.

"Don't be like that to Soobin."

"Who the fuck is Soobin? Why should I care!?"

"It's your nephew's name," Jisoo explained patiently as she caressed her stomach. Soobin had stopped kicking, probably scared of his aunt.

"That's such a basic name. It's so ugly. I hate it. I hate him."

You didn't give your sister a chance to speak. "Forget it." You turned off the lampshade. "I don't want to talk to you anymore. I'm going to sleep."

You laid back down. Darkness enveloped the room. This was better. This way, you couldn't see the sadness in Jisoo’s face.

But you couldn't sleep. You tossed and turned all night, but nothing worked.

It's my fault. You wanted to say. Jisoo got cancer because of you. That club was a rotten place. You should've stopped her from working there.

Lung cancer. What a bullshit thing to have.

"Don't die." A week ago, you were saying the complete opposite. "If you die, I'll chase you to hell. You can't die, Jisoo."

You still have debts to pay. I have not forgiven you yet. You have to suffer my eternal wrath, so do not die before me.

*** In Jisoo's 34th week of pregnancy, you had asked her another question.

"Why did you do it?"

Jisoo didn't need context. She knew exactly what you were talking about, but like before, you cut her off before she could explain.

"Never mind." You covered your face with a blanket and slept.

***

In Jisoo's 35th week of pregnancy, you pestered her again about chemotherapy.

"I told you already. It's harmful for Soobin."

"And I told you already, I don't care about Soobin." You rebutted.

This bedtime routine was tiring Jisoo. She felt like she was arguing with a wall.

"Good night," so she just turned off the lampshade and went to bed.

*** You asked about the betrayal again in Jisoo's 36th week of pregnancy.

"Are you sure you want to know now?" Jisoo's carefulness shot your heart.

You shook your head, your chest heaving.

"No," you admitted. "Never mind it."

***

Jisoo's 37th weeks pregnant when you panicked upon seeing her looking like she was in a lot of pain.

"What's the matter?" Your heart leaped to your throat. You were beside Jisoo at once.

Jisoo bit her lip and wiped the sweat on her forehead. "It's nothing. Your nephew's just being naughty. He keeps kicking my tummy."

Oh.

Your heartbeat returned to normal. And then you snorted and folded your arms across your chest. "Tell that scrub to shut his trap and quit being annoying."

You were about to return to your bed when Jisoo seized your wrist.

You flinched, but you didn't push her away.

It gave Jisoo the courage to push through her suggestion. She cleared her throat, "Why don't you pacify him yourself? He's quite obedient. Here, I'll guide you."

Jisoo slowly led your hand to her tummy. Your hand was stiff at first, almost resisting when you had contact with the skin of Jisoo's belly.

"Sshh, it's okay, dear." Jisoo's voice was like a lullaby. You relaxed at once.

It took you a while before you finally started caressing your sister's stomach without wanting to die.

And then you felt it.

"Oh!" Your eyes grew big. "He kicked me! Your kid kicked me!"

An involuntary chuckle came out of Jisoo. "Yes, he likes his aunt a lot."

"Hmp." You withdrew your hands. "Too bad I don't care about him."

Jisoo didn't react because, deep down, you were fooling no one.

***

You asked about the betrayal again in Jisoo's 38th week of pregnancy. Jisoo had learned her lesson, so she did not speak and pretended to be asleep.

***

You found the courage to be honest in Jisoo's 39th week of pregnancy.

"I take it back." You gripped your blanket. "Soobin isn't so bad. I think his name is cute."

Jisoo gasped, which had you worrying. You thought your sister was in pain again. These days, all she did was vomit blood.

However, Jisoo's gasp was because of plain surprise. She beamed at you, "Soobin just kicked me three times. He means to say he loves you."

"You're an idiot, and you know it." You clicked your tongue in disgust, "Tell your devil spawn I hate him."

Your words were harsh, but Jisoo knew your heart was melting.

Just a few more. Jisoo mused, mentally patting her baby's head. Your aunt’s gonna warm up to you soon, Bin-bin.

***

Jisoo was in her 40th week of pregnancy when she gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

It took a while before you got out of the hospital because of Jisoo's worsening condition. Thankfully, you were there to look after Soobin.

"Welcome home, mon bébé," you secretly whispered when you finally got home.

Soobin cooed at you, and you wanted to cry.

You stopped calling Soobin the devil's spawn.

***

Jisoo's 3 weeks postpartum, and she was delirious.

"Jisoo-unnie, it's time for your medicine." You were sitting in your sister's bed with a glass of water in your hand.

"Honey water again...?" She blinked, eyes unfocused. She was hot to touch. "I don't want honey water. You make them too sweet."

"This is not honey water." You tried to make her drink, but Jisoo was stubborn.

She called your name. “My dear, please. You have to listen to me, alright? Hide in the closet. Don't answer even when mom calls for you. I will..." She cupped your cheek. "I will be back for you, okay?"

Postpartum was foreign to you, but you figured your sister was struggling.

"There's no need to hide. I'm not a five-year-old anymore, Jisoo-unnie."

It was the wrong thing to say because Jisoo scowled. She was unhappy, though she kept caressing your face.

"What are you saying? You'll always be my little girl."

***

Jisoo's 9 weeks postpartum when her mind cleared up. Regrettably, her body became weaker.

"You can't even carry your own baby," you taunted, peering down at your bedridden sister as you gently rocked Soobin in your arms.

Your nephew was so well-behaved.

"It's okay." Jisoo coughed. "Soobin has you."

"I'm not a babysitter." You jutted your chin, annoyed. "Hurry up and get better. I'm getting tired of—oh."

You weren't able to finish whatever you were saying. You couldn't even remember what you were trying to prove. All your thoughts vanished when Soobin wrapped his tiny hand around your pinky.

"Jisoo-unnie! Look! Look! He's holding me!" You stepped closer to Jisoo's bed, crouching down so your sister could see.

Jisoo forced out a smile. But that small action was taxing to her body. She coughed up blood again. She wiped it before you could see it.

"That's good. That's really, really good...."

***

Jisoo was 10 weeks postpartum, and she was still rotting in bed.

"You have to force yourself to get better," you demanded, a deep scowl on your lips. "Just look at your son. He clings to me a lot. Do you want him to recognize me as his mom?"

Your statement was meant to be threatening, but it made Jisoo happier.

"He is yours, dear." Her voice was barely above a whisper. She didn't have the energy to speak louder, but she could still smile. "He is meant to stay by your side."

"Shut up." You rolled your eyes. "I'm not cut out to be a parent. This is your mess. I was not there when you made him." I was against you making him. You hurt me.

Jisoo's forehead creased, though. She didn't agree with you. "But I made him for you."

What?

You couldn't believe your ears. If postpartum was this kind of bitch, then you were willing to fight it. It was making your Jisoo-unnie act crazy. She was full of shit.

"Soobin...stay...you..." And she was blabbering random words.

You touched her forehead. She was burning. Her fever was probably making her crazy.

"Next time, I'm bringing you to an asylum." Soobin slept soundly in his crib, so you had time to care for your sister. You put a wet towel on her forehead. "You're crazy, did you know that? Who would have thought a cute baby like Soobin came from a nasty girl like you?"

Jisoo's scowl deepened. She struggled and weakly caught your wrist. "No. Soobin looks like...me."

You glanced at Soobin's sleeping form. Yeah, right.

"Keep dreaming. It's free."

"No." Jisoo cried. It looked like she took your statement to heart. "He looks like me...he should look like me..."

Suddenly, Jisoo was crying. You were stunned. What was this drama queen crying for!?

"He looks like me. Please. He should remind me of you. I'm dying, I'm dying. I'm dying--!!"

Your eyes widened. Jisoo was out of control. She was sobbing and kicking her feet, albeit weakly.

"Jisoo-unnie, calm down." You held her hands, giving up. "I believe you, okay? Soobin looks like you."

She was easy to pacify. She stopped crying at once, and then she cupped your cheeks.

"My dear, my little one...I'm sorry, your Jisoo-unnie can't keep her promise to you. I'm going soon. Stay...stay with Soobin, alright?"

Jisoo slowly trailed off. The terrible realization slapped you in the face.

You were shaking, bile crawling to your throat when you connected the dots:

There was a high possibility that Jisoo, your sister, planned on sleeping with Jungkook so she could get pregnant. She wished to get pregnant because, after all this time, she still saw you as a little girl who needed someone by her side.

And since she was dying, she needed someone to...

You stopped thinking. You looked at Soobin's sleeping form and sobbed; your sister's words echoed in your mind:

Stay with Soobin. I made him for you.

Fuck.

***

In Jisoo's twisted way, what she did was for your sake. Unfortunately, you did not ask any of this.

Jisoo was 15 weeks postpartum. She was like a withered flower. No color was left on her face. Death was around the corner.

"Are you there, my dear?"

You did not answer. The question you didn't have an answer to entered your mind. You hadn't asked in a long time. Should you?

"Why did you betray me?" You asked it aloud before you could think properly. You thought Jisoo's too weak to answer, but she forced herself to speak.

"I was lonely. We were both lonely."

In the grand scheme of things, that explanation should have made sense. Lonely people sought comfort. You should be the first to understand that. But you didn't. It only brought you pain.

"I can't make you happy?" But you were her sister and Jungkook...Jungkook was your best friend. How could you not know that the people you loved were suffering? That they were lonely? Were you that...insensitive?

"It's not about you." Jisoo groaned. She was in a lot of pain. "You will never understand our grief. Your life is...a bliss."

The pain was unbearable. You wanted to cover your ears. You regretted asking that question, but you just couldn't stop.

"So you don't trust me? You don't think I'd understand you?" Did Jungkook think so too?

Jisoo didn't give a clear answer. She couldn't breathe. Her chest was stuffy.

Silence prevailed.

You stared blankly at Jisoo.

Jisoo struggled to maintain her breathing. She called your name.

"Have you forgiven me?"

It took you an eternity to respond, but your tone was biting when you did.

"You and Jungkook bonded over something you thought I was too immature to understand, so tell me, Jisoo-unnie, how can I forgive you?"

It meant to hurt. But Jisoo smiled through the pain.

She seemed...happy.

"Good…Good. Don't forgive me. I don't deserve it."

Blood. There was blood everywhere. Jisoo was barely awake.

"But leave Soobin...out of your...anger. That kid will love you. I swear, he will love you."

You had no plans to give Soobin away.

"I know...I am in no position to ask you anything, but...Jungkook...he must know about his son. He deserves that much, no--" She seemed to shake her head. "Soobin deserves that much....Promise me, in three..."

She paused. She was thinking....calculating...

"No four...four years...three years..." It was getting confusing. "Return him home in three years. Ugh."

Jisoo couldn't hold on.

She called your name. “ You and Soobin...you two are my life...I love you...I'll see..." you.

Jisoo didn't get to finish her last statement. She died, eyes clamped shut and blood splattering everywhere.

She died while her son slept, and you wept.

**** A/N: I wrote this for so many hours...this is not edited, I feel like I'm going to vomit if I read this chapter one more time. Imdeadtired.exe.

We will be back in the present in the next chapter.

← Previous Chapter (06) | Next Chapter (08) →

[sleepymoha]

Chilshi death headcannons? Mainly with Senshi’s reaction and coping mechanisms after?

Hmm death headcanons…

Well for starters, we all know by now that Chilchuck is terrible when it comes to expressing and communicating his emotions, but he does exchange letters with Flertom from time to time. I don’t really think this aspect of his character would change after getting together with Senshi, and I think it would be nice of him to ask Marcille to give some of his pre-written letters to Senshi every few years or so.

And well… I honestly don’t really think Senshi would cope particularly well with Chilchuck’s passing, at least in the first few years. He is no stranger to tragedy, but Chilchuck being all old and sickly could remind him of his parents in a way, bedridden and weak and all. But, just like when he was a child, he has a fairly decent sized support group by his side, ready to step in and help out a grieving friend in need.

I think he’d be a honorary member of the small half-foot community on the Island, and an active one at that, especially after Chilchuck’s passing. Having learned and getting first-hand experience of what a half-foot can go through in life thanks to Chilchuck, he’d probably find closure and comfort in trying to make other half-foots’ lives easier.

Lots of ups and downs, good days being washed away by bad ones, seeing Chilchuck’s favorite mug making him smile one day, then pushing him into a deep depression the next. Still, once being offered to move into the castle, or just away from their shared home, he’d adamantly say no. That home is the proof of their love, their past, a life they built together, how could he disrespect it by rejecting it.

I don’t think he’d regret their love, he’d never do that, he’d just mourn the fact they were only given such a short while to spend together.

Despite Chilchuck only being part of his life for such a short while, I think he’d try to live life to the fullest, living for the both of them in a way. Going on adventures to see beautiful places, places they never got to see together because Chilchuck was too busy at his locksmith shop, spending more time with their loved ones - especially after getting reminded once again just how quickly short-lived races’ lives can fly past. He would go on long hikes, discover dungeons when life becomes too mundane to his taste, but he’d never stay away from their home for too long.

I honestly don’t really think he would visit Chilchuck’s grave all too often, but he would probably carry something of Chilchuck’s with him, the way he does with Grillin’s helmet. Maybe Chilchuck’s lockpick tools? They’re small, compact, and full of memories, and despite being in fairly decent shape - he tries to maintain them regularly, even though it isn’t his strongest suit - he’d never dare to use them, in fear of breaking them.

I don’t think his grieving process could turn violent, he respects the order of life too much to do something he might regret later. He has accepted this outcome of Chilchuck dying and him staying for a bit longer when they started their relationship, but it doesn’t mean he was ready to actually experience being alone so soon. Still, living a life full of regrets isn’t a tale worth telling once they reunite, so he aims to live life to the fullest.

[myfairstarlight]

People are mourning the lack of angry or make up sex, but actually I'm glad Colin held back. In part 1, we saw how much emotional intimacy mattered to him along with physical intimacy, he longs for that connection, and he had found it with Penelope but finding out she's been hiding this big secret all along is shattering. He needs to sort through that and trust her again first.

Colin visibly still longs for her but he keeps his distance until his mind is on par with his heart (and other parts of him lol) because he knows she deserves as such. He is angry, he is upset, he is hurting, but he still loves her and she deserves better than a man who is emotionally unavailable at the moment, she deserves better than feeling like he only wants her body now. It is telling, after all, that the one instance he lets himself go outside the modiste is because Penelope just shouted "I love you". It's the emotional outburst that almost makes him throw everything out the window because, oh, how much he loves to hear those words, but he cannot say them again back to her yet. And I mean, he longs for her so much, he resorts to sleeping on the couch, just to make sure he doesn't give in but also to stay close enough in case she needs him. And he doesn't push her away though, he tells her he still wants to marry her, but he is not ready to lay together again.

Nicola and Luke kept saying it during press tour, but I cannot stress it enough, this season is romantic. It was the easy, romcom romance in part 1, and the difficult, angsty romance in part 2 as they truly learn to be fully themselves and choose to be together. And so Colin does not let his lust take over, because Penelope means too much to him. He does not want to lay together only to wake up in a cold bed and still be fighting in the morning. He wants to be hers, body and soul, fully and assuredly, and until he accepts the fact he loves her because of Whistledown and not despite since they are one and the same, then he cannot promise Penelope all of himself either.

Colin's character does truly shine through his empathy, sensitivity, earnestness and kindness, and this is just one of these instances to me.

Also happy pride month to him because this is so demisexual-coded.

I am upset we did not get more scenes of them being happy together after everything was resolved though but it's alright, we'll see them be happy in s4.... in a few years (<- coping)

[bobbiedebruyn]

I've seen a lot of absolutely wild takes in the past few days regarding the change from Michael to Michaela, and I have some thoughts about it. One of the main complaints I've been seeing is about the infertility storyline. But who said it wouldn't be adapted? It's clear that Francesca's season is not next, but we will see her, and she'll still have some kind of storyline/side plot. They can easily make the subplot about her struggling to have a child with John.

We can follow this storyline throughout Season 4. Then she finally gets pregnant, and both she and John are happy. But in the last episode of the season, John suddenly dies. When we move to Francesca's season, unlike in the book, she won't lose the child and will give birth to a son (so now there's an heir to the Kilmartin estate and the earl title). Her storyline could mirror Violet's, showing her struggles as a single parent, dealing with the devastation of losing John, and grappling with the reality that their son will never meet his father or know his love.

Michaela, however, will still struggle with the fact that she's in love with her late cousin's wife. Maybe they can add a bit where Michaela has to run the Kilmartin estate and look after Francesca while she's grieving John. Therefore, Michaela would still feel like an imposter when this responsibility falls on her, because she'd think that she's taking John's place. Maybe Michaela won't go to India out of guilt/no purpose, and we'll see her struggling to cope with everything while being at Francesca's side.

Michael is the perfect candidate for a genderbending storyline. Since Francesca is a widow, she won't have to answer to society anymore, she doesn't have to get remarried. She and Michaela can just live together in Scotland and avoid all the gossip and pressure of the ton.

There are numerous possibilities for them to adapt this book. Honestly, it was clear from the beginning of this TV show adaptation that they would make crucial changes. The books are 20 years old, catered to a predominantly straight audience, and include some pretty outdated tropes and stereotypical writing choices. A lot has changed in the past 20 years in terms of representation, and I think it's beautiful that people now have a chance to see themselves represented on screen and relate to Bridgerton.

And frankly, Julia Quinn thinks the same. She gave her blessing for this storyline and this change. For example, when talking about autistic!Francesca, she said it brings her tremendous joy that with every season, more and more people are able to see themselves in Bridgerton. So even if the creator of the original material understands her books were catered to only one group of readers and is open to changes so that more people feel seen, why can't you?

[w2sology]

harry x hairdresser partner

i love ur writing so much btw

rapunzel, rapunzel, harry lewis.

summary: harry uses the fact that you're a hairdresser much to his advantage, and you love it.

warnings: none

notes: hiiiiiiiii headcanons are back !!! :) i've been so inactive this is insane buttttt i have so many requests to work on so i'll get through those (slowly ofc 😍)

around lockdown, your hairstyling talents really came in clutch for harry

like we all know he was in desperate need to a haircut and not being. able to got out, he finally let you do it for him

he'd always been sceptical of letting you cut his hair not because he didn't trust you, but rather because he'd never actually seen you in your hairstyling habitat

you were really good at what you did, obviously a professional so you had to be, so you didn't panic when harry mentioned getting a haircut

but when he specified that he wanted one from you? that's when all the nerves came in

it was the first time cutting his hair and all you could think of was getting everything wrong, completely disregarding the fact that you've done this thousands of times on random people over a couple of years

the prep to getting him ready for the haircut was more so to get yourself ready, shampooing his hair and feeling yourself relax as he did

"is this meant to be relaxing for me or for you?" he'd ask

"do you want a jagged cut or what?"

throughout the haircut he moans, a LOT. as in asking when it's done, what you're doing, how long it's gonna take, if you know what you're doing...

it's safe to say however, after the final reveal, he's in love

but he won't tell you that

has to keep you humble in some way

so he resorts for a little hi five

at first you roll your eyes, but when you saw a clip of him on a stream talking about how he loves his haircut that you gave him, you knew you made it

and ever since then, he's been your go to for haircuts, even if it's just a quick trim

his friends have defo tried to get you to cut their hair too, but he claims your off limits as your his own personal hairdresser, contrary to the fact that you quite literally manage your own hairdressing business

one day you asked harry if you could trim his beard

and if you thought cutting his hair was a stretch, then this was WAY worse

he'd full on avoid it for a bit, not because you'd mess up or anything, but because he was worried that you'd be worried you'd hurt him

it's come up before in conversations, you telling harry that you'd be scared to shave him with one of them old fashioned razors because you feel like you'd nick him

and bless him, he's taken it literally

it only took you soothing him with a shoulder massage and a few kisses for him to loosen up

and throughout the whole process, he's so relaxed

almost falling asleep as you gently work around the lower area of his face

and it's to say he's looking much neater after that trim

let's not get it wrong, harry loves you making use of your skills on him

but knowing how competitive he is, it's no secret that he tries to one up you

i'm talking doing your hair and telling you to rate it... against a style you did yourself... insane

sometimes you'd tell him he did better than you when he didn't, but he takes it nonetheless

and even though he thinks he could do what you do, harry can admit he'd rather be the one sitting back and relaxing in the chair than doing all the work

and none of your hard work goes unthanked! 😉

[violetasteracademic]

Minor Azriel BC Re-Writes

My lovely Elriel's! I have slowed a bit on my in depth posts and fic writing. I'm not sure I'll be able to get back to my usual pace any time soon, but I got hit with a midday burst of swirling thoughts and creative energy. It began by reflecting on how differently everyone is interpreting the bonus chapter, and I realized I could only put it into words by quite literally putting it into words. So if I were to have read Azriel's bonus chapter and unequivocally believe it was foreshadowing that G/wyn and Azriel are actually mates, here is what I would have liked to see, and I'll go into why:

Adjustment:

Azriel landed in the ring a few feet from where G/wyn practiced in the chill night, her sword glimmering like ice in the moonlight. Sweat beaded on her brow, a faint sheen delicately scenting the air around her. Morning mist and the mixture of steel and flames from a forge. A unique combination. Azriel had always thought so. It wasn't until he saw her again in Valkyrie training that he recalled that unique scent.

Why am I making this adjustment? Because scent is one of the earliest, most prominent indicators SJM uses to indicate mate behavior long before a mate reveal. And yes, even just in a bonus chapter. Cassian has a very intense experience with Nesta's scent in their bonus chapter:

Now, one might argue that bringing up G/wyn's scent would have made it too obvious, and maybe SJM wanted to leave a little mystery. However, scent is not always related to mates. Scenting can occur platonically, as Feyre is the first to notice and describe Azriel's scent. It can occur between family. Feyre, again, experiences and describes the scent of both of her sisters first. In fact, before she is even Fae, experiences Tamlin's rain and earthen scent. So one could argue that scent is not explicitly mate related, but it is connected to closeness, trust, and yes, often sexuality and romance even if it isn't endgame. But it is always relevant in endgame couples, no matter what.

There is no indicator that, after knowing her for years, after finding her in Sangravah, and spending every day training with her, G/wyn smells like anything at all to him. The word scent was not included in the G/wyn and Azriel section of the BC, but it was repeated in Elain's portion, both in terms of him experiencing her scent, him worrying she'd be able to scent his feelings and arousal, and his describing the scent of Elain and L/ucien's mating bond being too much:

So for me personally, I would have loved for Az to have noticed or comment on G/wyn's scent. Even if it was done in a way that could have been interpreted as romantic or platonic to make for a really interesting conversation. Especially in a setting where there is sweat and exercise, areas we know SJM loves to make sexy and scent the air.

Moving on to the next alteration I would have liked to see a little more from:

Adjustment:

He nodded, silence falling. For a heartbeat, their gazes met. He blocked out the bloody memory that flashed, so at odds with the G/wyn he saw before him now. He tamped down the rage at that memory. Tried to push back that cold, unrelenting violence that had taken over him when he saw G/wyn lying there. Azriel had been instructed to keep some of the soldiers alive for questioning. He had never broken those orders before. He tried not to linger on the memory, or question why he had lost control that day.

Mostly I see this as an argument from G/wynriel's- that Azriel showed mate behavior when he slaughtered every soldier in the room ready to SA her. While I don't agree, and I think anyone would have done the same, the reality of the situation is that we already have Azriel's POV reflecting on that moment. Right there. And he didn't think much, if anything, of it. Even one single sentence alluding to some sort of emotion regarding what happened to her, or a small note that he was glad he slaughtered all of those men, and would gladly do it again, though perhaps now G/wyn could handle herself and would not need Azriel to save her today (again, touching on G/wynriel ideas here) would have been nice. But nope. No thoughts at all about that day. No rage or anger, no recollection of feelings he had that day. No indicator that he was supposed to keep some soldiers alive but didn't. Nothing at all to suggest he had a unique or out of character experience that day. It would have been very easy to add something small here without making it too much.

Sarah also loves to use terms like "tried not to think about why" or "didn't ask herself/himself why" ect. to indicate there are obvious feelings or thoughts happening, but the MC simply isn't ready to face them yet.

And again, we have this moment with Nesta and Cassian where Cassian goes into a near feral mate rage at the thought of Nesta being harmed by another man in the past in a bonus chapter years before their book came out:

Cassian knows something happened to her because of the shift in her scent. The death that Cassian's eyes promised was so intense, Nesta wouldn't give up Thomas's name, even thought he assaulted her. She thought no one deserved what Cassian would do. As he later clarified, hunt him down and shatter every bone in his body.

Again, we see this repeatedly with mates. If their mate is in danger, if their mate has been harmed, the men cannot contain their rage. Rhys is happy to let Feyre make her own choice to be with Tamlin, until he realizes she is withering away. Until he realizes she is unhappy. And if she were ever taken against her will, he would tear the world apart to find her.

These two small changes would have made a world of difference in terms of me really questioning Elriel and whether or not their book is next.

In general, I find it so interesting what people do and no not see as chemistry. Obviously I think Azriel being ready to beg on his knees for a taste of Elain, his eyes nearly rolling in the back of his head at her scent (both things that happened in Nessian's bonus chapter) is chemistry. Them being so astronomically down bad for each other that they don't care that their horny scents are filling up the whole house when her mate is literally steps away is chemistry. I think them buying secret presents for each other, and their hands shaking as they exchange them in the dead of night when everyone else is asleep is chemistry. I think them wanting to touch each other, even just the once, because they literally cannot stop themselves around each other is chemistry. I think them facing war and blood duels and the loss of allies because they don't understand why they are not mates is chemistry.

I am not going to spend time assessing whether or not G/wyn and Azriel's banter is romantic chemistry or not, because that is clearly personal and up for interpretation. What I will say is it read the exact same to me as Azriel teaching Feyre how to fly, which was also fun, respectful, full of banter and genuine enjoyment of each others company and Azriel's secret snarky sense of humor. So if SJM wanted to differentiate Feyre and Azriel's flying lessons from G/wyn and Azriel's ribbon cutting lessons, those are the minor adjustments I would have liked to see.

As it stands, Azriel and Elain want each other like no ones business, which is why I want them to be together and anticipate they will carry the next story with all of the stakes and established plot surrounding all of the things that could happen if Elain and Azriel tried to be together. If Azriel and G/wyn are going to be revealed to be mates, I'll need SJM to do a lot of explaining as to why Azriel did not experience anything mate like towards her and also understand why their plot is more powerful and interesting than Elriel's, which as of now simply isn't able to be compared because it doesn't exist yet. Why he continued to lose sleep and stare at a gift from another woman every night for a year when he saw his mate every single day. When he saved his mate, and apparently feels nothing about it now, but who still gets flashes of anger and rage in this very same book when he thinks about Elain being kidnapped.

Regardless of how you feel about his shadows hearing G/wyn's silent music and dancing with it (I'll be doing a post on his shadows later, especially after some bombs dropped in HOFAS, though I can't promise when), whether or not you noticed all of the parallels between Nesta and G/wyn and Azriel and G/wyn (the seven pm bell chime for the evening priestess service, the sense of calm around G/wyn, the hearing a silent song that seems to come from her and calling explicitly to them, the glow surrounding G/wyn's imagery, their powers interacting, feeling a desire to caw about her or see her smile for whatever reason) I simply don't see how Azriel could be years into knowing G/wyn, seeing her and training with her every single day, seeing her harmed and in distress, seeing her kidnapped, and still he has no emotions over the things that have happened to her. No feral male rage. No awareness of her scent. No indicator he is acting in a special way towards her that he doesn't do towards other females.

I could go on, but this seems like a good place to wrap up!

I don't cross tag, and would appreciate sticking to pro elriel tags should you reblog, which I highly encourage and always appreciate! As always, my work is for Elriel's and not intended to start a fight on the internet with strangers who think differently than I do! I don't think any minds will be changed until the book announcement. I will certainly respect whatever direction SJM decides to go, but some directions certainly require a LOT more work than others based on how everything has read to me.

[masonmontz]

heeey, how are you? hope you like this one :)

english is not my first language, i’m sorry if you see something wrong

angst

word count: 3.275k

part 2 SOON

Manchester is your home for years and one of your favorite places in the world, not just because of the beautiful places but all your friends and your favorite people are there too. Your family always come to visit you and finally you don’t feel alone being there.

You were 23 when you move from London to Manchester, you got a place on a cooking course you've been dreaming about for a long time and you had to move.

But you had to leave some things behind.

Or someone.

You met Mason when you were twenty-two and he was eighteen, four years younger but he was your favorite since the day you two met. He was funny and gentle and it was no surprise when you were totally in love with him, even though he's three years younger. In fact, he had a little trouble winning you over since you were reluctant about the age difference.

But how can you not fall in love with Mason Mount?

Things were going very well between you two. You loved his family and they loved you, just as your family loved him too - especially your father and brother, who were true football fans.

But just like everything in life, bad times come and cannot be avoided.

You had already taken some cooking courses and were always studying in search of knowledge, but the one in Manchester was a real dream and you could even have the chance to open your own business when you graduated.

You still remember the conversation with Mason when you decided to move.

6 YEARS AGO

“I passed the course in Manchester.” you say, lying in Mason’s chest. You've been waiting for the results for a few days and yesterday you finally got the answer, but you haven't told Mason anything until now.

“Oh my God, are you serious?” he asks and you agree, smiling at him. “I knew it. I’m so happy for you, love.” He hugs you and leaves a kiss on your forehead, celebrating with you.

“Yeah, I was afraid I wouldn't get a place on the course but I’m happy now” You get out of bed and look for your pj’s that were thrown across the room as soon as Mason arrived at your apartment.

“You didn't believe me when I said you could do it.” He says and sits on your bed, sleepy, after a game against Arsenal in North London and spend some hours in your bed, he was totally tired.

You look at him. He yawns and you look at his beautiful face, with almost no beard because he's young, the messy hair and his body wearing nothing under the sheets. You feel like you might start crying at the beautiful sight, a sight only you see when you two are lost in your own world.

“You’re right.” You say and go to the kitchen just to get a glass of water. Your heart races. You feel Mason approaching before you even see him, he holds you by your waist, leaving a kiss on the back of your neck. “We need to talk, Mase.”

“U-hu.” He agrees and goes to the fridge, looking for something to eat. “About what?”

“About us.” You say and he stares at you. “I’m moving to Manchester.”

“I know babe, but I can drive, you can drive here, there's also the train and I don't have games every day.” You shake your head, knowing this won't work. “What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I don’t think this is gonna work, Mase.”

“Y/N, what?” He looks lost and dropped his food on the counter, sitting on a chair. “We are not breaking up.”

“Yes Mason, we are.” Your voice shakes and you feel a tear run down your face.

Mason doesn't say anything, and neither do you. You walk up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, but he pushes you away, not wanting your touch.

“Mase, please” You speak with a tearful voice.

“Why, Y/N? Why?” He asks, looking at you. Your heart breaks into a million pieces when you see tears falling down his face too. “Are you going to give up on us like this? You'll only be there for a year, for god's sake!”

“Mason, what if I move there permanently? What would we do? See each other just on our vacations?” You shouted at him, making him startle at your tone. “Sorry.”

“We would find a way.” He says and you cry harder, closing your eyes and listening to his cry. “You're not even giving us another chance.”

“Don’t say that, Mase.” You say and he gets up from his chair, walking past you. “You are so young, you have so much to enjoy with your friends, with Chelsea. You won't be able to do this stuck with me.”

“What the fuck, I'm not stuck with you, I'm with you because I love you.” He yells at you, crying.

“You’re just nineteen, you don’t know anything about love.” You know you've crossed the line, but you're not in a position to control the words that come out of your mouth.

“Yeah, right, I'm just a silly boy who liked an older woman. I’m just fun for her.”

“Mason, that’s not true.” You follow him as he goes to your room, picking up his own clothes from the floor and putting them on, completely ignoring you. “Mason, listen to me.”

“No, Y/N.” He says and picks up his backpack from the floor where he brought his clothes. “I feel so stupid. I would never give up on us the same way you are doing now.”

“You don’t understand.” You yell at him once again.

“Cause I’m just nineteen, yeah?” He laughs ironically, but the tears don’t stop falling. “Don't you think I could make you happy?”

“I never said that, Mason.”

“It doesn’t matter now, I’m leaving.” He says and walks to the door, but turns one last time to look at you. “I don’t think I can love another person in the same way I love you. I gave my heart to you and you didn't do it the same way.”

“I’m sorry.” You speak quietly, but you know he heard you. “I love you Mason.”

“I don’t think you do.”

NOW

The course lasted a year and after that one of the professors invited you to work with him. You worked at his restaurant for almost three years until you finally opened your own business. The salary was incredible and you were able to save it until you had enough money to open your cafe, a place where you serve lunch, sandwiches and had the best pastry shop in Manchester - according to your customers.

“So, when are you going to a Manchester United game with me?” Emily, your employee, asks.

“Uh, never.” You answer her. “You know I don’t like football.”

“I know, but Sunday is my birthday and I really want you there with me and my friends.”

“Your teenage friends?”

“Alright, I know you are older but you are really cool and they like you too as much as I do.”

“I mean, I could be your mother.”

“Oh, shut up, you’re just twenty-nine.” She laughs. “Y/N, please, you are always wonderful with me, you are funny and I will really appreciate it if you go.”

“I’m not going to the game, but I promise I’m coming to the party at the club, okay?”

“Perfect.” She turns and goes to a table to serve a customer. You sigh.

You actually like football, but football reminds you of the past, a past that took you a long time to forget. Or to leave aside.

You suffered a lot when things ended between you and Mason, it was very difficult living alone in Manchester in the first few months and most days you just wanted to call him and tell how much you missed him.

A few days after you broke up, Mason removed you from social media and you avoided him everywhere, even his family.

Time passes, wounds heal.

You made real friends in Manchester, you were really happy to have such special people. It wasn't always possible to avoid the news and sometimes you'd see Mason on television at a game, in an interview or on a gossip channel.

Even your friends commented on him, as they didn't know he was your ex-boyfriend. You ignored every time a friend said he was the most handsome player in the Premier League, that they would like to spend a night with him or the times they commented about women he was shagging.

There were many women.

And about a year ago he became a Manchester United player.

You heard all over town that Mason Mount was the team's new midfielder, but you also heard people commenting that he was a traitor, a snake. Luckily, you never saw him around Manchester and you would never go to a game knowing you would see him in person for the first time in years.

“Heey, Y/N. I’m so happy you are here.” Emily say as soon as she sees you. She stumbles and seems more excited than ever. “Wow, you are very beautiful.”

“Thank you, Em.” You say, looking at yourself. You are wearing a short, tight pink dress. Loose hair and heels that will hurt your feet. The result looked great to you in the mirror. Emily hugs you.

“Are you drunk?” You ask and she agrees, laughing. “Oh my God.”

“Let’s have fun, please, don’t be and old lady tonight.”

“I’m sorry. I’m gonna get myself a drink.”

You go to the bar and buy a drink, going back to the place reserved for Emily's party. She invited a lot of people, you recognize most of them, since they always go to see Emily at work. Some of her friends talk to you, but most of the time you just watch the various people dancing on the dance floor while you sip your drink.

“Y/N, how are you?” Lucca, one of her friends, comes closer to you.

“Hi Lucca, I’m fine, and you?” He agrees and you realize he's drunk too.

“I always thought you were pretty, you know?” You take a sip of your drink to keep from laughing at him. “But I don't have the courage to ask you out.”

“I’m sorry Lucca, how old are you?”

“I’m eighteen.”

“Yeah, I’m twenty-nine, nothing will happen.” He grimaces but agrees.

“Oh, everybody stay calm, Manchester United players are here.” Emily appears, celebrating that her team is here. “Oh, they probably have a reserved seat.”

“Hey, don't get upset, enjoy your birthday." You say.

But now you only think about leaving, even without knowing if he's here. You refuse to look at the entrance and see the players. You don't know if you're ready to see Mason again after so many years. You don't even know if he remembers you after so many women in his bed.

You can see Emily and her friends get embarrassed as the players walk past you, showing off to them. You hold your breath as you see those tall men walking past you, but you still turn your back as they pass to the place reserved for them. When Emily turns to face the players who passed by, you sigh when you realize there are none left.

“I'll get another drink.” You say but no one hears you because of the loud music.

As you take two steps to the bar, someone bumps into you hard, making you stumble forward and bump into someone else. A large hand holds your wrist and stops you from falling or tripping again.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you.”

But it was too late to run away.

Because it's Mason in front of you. Holding you. His face is as shocked as yours.

Your heart races seeing the man you loved there in front of you. That's what he is now, a man, no longer a boy.

“Y/N?” He looks confused and lost and you know you have the same expression in your face. “What are you doing here?”

“Mason, hey.” You say, panting. “I didn't expect to see you.”

You can see from the corner of your eyes that Emily is shocked along with her friends, staring at you and Mason.

“Uh, I- I don’t know. Nice to see you.” He says and you can see his cheek turn red. “Can I hug you?”

You look at him for a few seconds, but nod with a shy smile. He comes over and gives you a big hug, holding you by the waist while placing his head on your neck. You feel his hands shaking, but you're just as nervous as he is.

“I can believe you are here.” He lets you go, giving you a smile.

“Yeah, it's my friend's birthday.” You point at Emily and her eyes widen when Mason turns and looks at her, waving at her quickly.

“Nineteen?” He says when he sees the balloons with the numbers.

“Yeah, she's my employee too, that's why I'm here.” You say and see some people surrounding you, probably wanting to take a picture with Mason. “I'll leave you alone, I'm going to the bar to get a drink.”

Mason looks like he wants to say something but someone interrupts him, so you turn your back and walk to the bar.

You need fresh air, to be honest.

The bar was full but you found a place to sit and ask the barman for a drink. It’s hard to know what feelings you are feeling right now, not because of the time you spent apart, but because you were sure you had no feelings for him right now. Totally wrong.

Everything you felt when you broke up came to you like a shot.

When the barman handed you your drink, you thanked him and turned back to Emily. She and her friends were talking very loud about the players and you tried to ignore them, but failed.

“Y/N, can you tell me, please, what Mason was saying to you?” She begged. “Why did he gave you a hug?”

“Cause we know each other.” She doesn't look convinced. “I’m from London.”

“Why didn't you ever tell me you knew him?”

“It’s not a big deal, Em.” She shrugs and takes the drink from your hand.

“Let’s do shots.”

An hour later you could barely see straight. Emily made you take five shots of tequila and you don't know how you'll work tomorrow. You didn't see Mason after you met him the first time and you were relieved about that.

You were happy when Emily's older brother arrived with his girlfriend and you could talk to two older people, but they were drunk as you and the conversations were messed up.

“Why are these players so hot?” Sarah, a friend of Emily, says to you. “I mean, they have those big legs and muscular arms, so, so hot.” She points to a place you hadn’t see yet and your eyes go straight to Mason, who is talking to a beautiful woman and one of the players.

Maybe it's the fact that you're drunk, but he looks so handsome that you can't stop staring at him. He is wearing a white shirt, pants and white sneakers. No one can look this good in simple clothes.

“I agree.” Mason seems to feel your gaze on him and turns his head, his gaze meeting yours and making him smile shyly. You try to hide it and feel your cheek turn red when he sees you. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

The place is full of people and you have a little trouble finding the bathroom, but you do and stay there for a few seconds, a little away from the noise and crowd. You feel dizzy and decide to get water.

But when you leave the bathroom, even with a few people in the small hallway, you can see Mason standing there, leaning against the wall. His face lights up when he sees you walking up to him.

“Hey, I thought you left.” He says, smiling again.

“No, I’m just feeling dizzy after all those drinks.”

“You’re okay?” He looks worried, but you nod and say you're fine.

“Yeah, it’s late and I think I’m going home now.”

“I can take you home, I'm leaving too.”

“No, Mase, it’s not necessary. I’ll call a taxi.”

“Y/N, it’s fine. I didn't drink and I can take you home safe.” He doesn't seem like he's going to give up on the idea and you finally agree.

“Just let me say goodbye to Emily.” He agrees and follows you there. You can perfectly feel his body almost touching yours as you walk towards you friend.

“Em, I’m going home.” You give her a hug and say goodbye to her other friends, but before you leave, she pulls you by the arm.

“What is Mason Mount doing here?” She asks.

“He’s driving me home.”

“I bet you have a lot to tell me tomorrow.”

“That’s a nice place.” Mason says when he finally finishes looking around your apartment. “Feeling better?” You mumble, still lying on the couch.

The ride home was fine until you felt sick from the drinks you had. Mason stopped the car in the middle of the road for you to vomit and it was the most humiliating moment of your life.

“I’m too old for this.” Mason laughs and sits on the couch next to you. Even after he dropped you off at home, you told him he could leave, but he didn't want to leave you alone. How embarrassing is it to throw up in front of your ex boyfriend?

“You’re not old. You've never been a person who can handle a lot of drinks, have you?”

“You’re right.” You close your eyes. “Really Mason, you can go if you want, I’m feeling better.”

“No. I’m staying with you.” He says and you look at him. “I’m happy to see you tonight.”

You smile softly at him, sitting on the couch.

“I really thought I'd never see you again, Y/N.” He sighs and scratches his hair. “I was very sad when we broke up, maybe I said the wrong things but then I understood that it was the best choice for our relationship. It would never work out apart from each other.”

“For a long time I wondered if I had made the right choice.”

“You did, and I thank you for it.” He places a hand on your knee, which is resting close to him. “But I missed you so much at first. Mum didn't know what to do to cheer me up. I took it all out on the field.”

“I’m sorry, Mason.” You say and he looks at you. “I missed you too, so much. I was alone here and had no one to talk.” You start. “But I wouldn't do anything different. I built something and you have an incredible career now, maybe if we were together you wouldn't have any of this.”

“Yeah, but now I think London doesn't like me so much.” He confesses. “Things got bad at Chelsea, I let a lot of people down.”

“I heard something about that.” You approach him, hugging him and laying your head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry for that too.”

“It’s fine, I’m happy here.” He leaves a kiss in your hair and you pull away.

“Things will be fine, Mason, you'll see.”

[thetravelingmaster]

Short Story: Job Interview

One sided conversation point of view - Powers

Model : Mikayla Demaiter

Hello there...

If I'm not mistaken, you're the man that hired us for this party, right?

...

Yeah I thought so!

I'm sorry for springing this on you while the party's still going, but I was talking to one of the other girls hired to huh... Beautify this party...

And huh... Apparently, you host a LOT of parties all year round and if I heard correctly, you are looking to hire a few permanent girls to make sure your parties are always... Beautiful. 

*Winks*

Well if that's true, I'd like to throw my name in the ring, so to speak. I'd LOVE to contract with you for a year of fun parties!

...

Right! Not a problem! But huh… How do I 'test my compatibility', exactly? I'm pretty willing to try anything to secure such a fun job!

...

Just look into your eyes? Huh... Sure... Ok...

But why would...

Oh woooowwww....

You're... Eyes...

Are so...

B... Beauti...fu...llll....

Are… Are th…ey… Sp…a…r…k…l…i…n…g…

...

*Blinks rapidly*

Woah... That felt so weird...

...

No no!!! A good weird I assure you!

Looking into your eyes made me feel all... Warm... You know?

*Steps off the bench and steps closer*

HHmmm... Anyway...

*Casually unties the knot holding her top*

So... Was that the compatibility thing? Did I pass?

*Removes top*

...

Did I notice what?

*Looks down at her topless chest*

Oh wow! I didn't even realize I took it off!

*Looks back up with a smile*

...

*Pushes her chest out proudly, giggling*

Thank you, kind sir!

I’m rather proud of them too, after all, they do get me plenty of jobs in the business.

Although...

*Looks back down at her chest*

Part of me can't help but feel this is pretty strange…

Not that I’m ashamed of my tits or anything, but I usually don’t show them off so… Openly…

Especially to a potential employer!

…

*Looks back up*

What do you mean I should be happy?

Oh! Do you mean to say that it means I’m compatible?

…

That’s awesome!

*Looks back down at her chest, frowning*

Wait…

Like... What... Huh... Exactly… Am I compatible for?

...

Nothing I need to worry about huh?

Yeah... I guess you are right... The important thing I need to focus on is that I AM compatible and that means I'm eligible for the job, right?

It won’t bother me until later because nothing else really matters right now!

*Smiles seductively*

Like… Now that we know I'm eligible...

Is there anything else you need to check before you consider hiring me?

...

Really? Huh...

Anna didn't mention the job required me to live in your home...

Do you really host THAT many parties?

...

Oh I see... Yeah that tracks... I mean... If most of your parties are last minute affairs... Like... It WOULD be easier to have your hired pretty girls close by to make sure your reputation for having ‘beautiful’ parties remains unsullied...

HHmmm...

Honestly… That's not really the type of gig I was looking for...

...

You want me to look into your eyes again?

Of course! I always want to look into your eyes!

They're so nice to look at...

So... Ca...pt...i...va...t...i...n...g...

...

*Blinks rapidly*

HHmm... That felt super nice...

I'm sorry... I got distracted there... What were we saying?

*Unconsciously pulls down her bottom outfit and panties*

...

Oh that's right!

No no... It makes perfect sense to want your hired girls to live with you. And like... I'd be an idiot not to see the benefits of being lodged while I serve out my contract! Cuts down on my expenses you know?

In fact... I just remembered that I was sort of looking for a job with such awesome benefits so yeah... If you hire me, I'm more than willing to move in while I work for you!

Although...

If I like... Live here... Does that mean that I'm expected to work like... ALL the time?

...

Most of the time huh?

Seems like a lot to sign up for... I mean... Don't get me wrong... Like... The job’s SUPER alluring and all... But it sounds like I won't have that much free time...

I mean... I get that I'd be required to stay close for last minute parties and such...

But if I do stay close... Why would I be required to be IN your home most of the time?

...

*Smiles mischievously as her hand slips down and rubs her clit*

Oh I get it now... I'd be hired to 'beautify' your parties AND your home. Anna should really have mentioned that part from the start, it would have made things a lot clearer! Especially since I wasn’t even aware ‘beautifying’ a rich man’s home was even a thing!

Not as an official job anyway… 

But huh… Now that I think about it…

Why do I get the feeling you're going to expect a little more from me than just admiring my half naked body every day?

...

*Giggles*

No! I’m not saying you're not handsome enough... Because you certainly are… A girl could be tempted to let things drift towards less... Professional activities…

*Winks*

But I'm afraid you'll be disappointed if you think I won't be able to resist your charms! I mean... I'm just not that kind of girl... Not totally at least... I mean I LOVE to flirt as much as the next gal… I mean... Like... Isn't it all part of being a hired party girl?

...

*Frowns*

What do you mean this particular job requires more than what I'm used to as a party girl? Are you telling me that if you hire me, I'll be expected to like... Put out for you?

*Laughs*

Sorry... I think I completely misunderstood the type of job Anna was alluding to. I'm not looking to find a job like THAT! I mean... It sounds a lot like you are looking to hire a call girl or something...

...

HHmm...

Yeah ok... Sure... You make a good point...

After everything is like... Said and done... You ARE hiring sex objects... I get that... But that doesn't mean there's actual sex involved!

I mean... If that's what's expected of me if I'm hired... Then I don't know if I want to apply...

...

What do you mean I'm sending mixed signals?

*Looks down at herself*

Oh god! I didn't realize I was... Wow... I'm sooooo sorry!

...

Well even if you don't mind the show... I mean... I'm not... Like... Masturbating like this on purpose or anything...

Wait... Why can't I stop rubbing myself?

...

Hahaha...

Yeah right... You're handsome and all... But saying you are just too handsome for me to resist touching myself is a bit of a stretch!

Although... I am pretty fucking wet...

When did that happen?

Ok... What's happening to me?

...

What do you mean 'it's just the results of my high compatibility'?

*Eyes grow wide in realization*

Wait... I went topless without noticing too...

...

What? No... I'm pretty sure this isn't normal! I would never just... You know... Like this...

...

Yes... Of course... I always want to look into your eyes...

They're so nice to look at...

Wait... They... Are doing... Some...Thing...

I must... Look away...

I...

I can't...

L...o...o...k... A...w...aaaa...yyy.....

...

*Blinks rapidly*

Hhhmmm... There's just something so soothing about your eyes...

I just can't help looking into them!

*Looks down at her active fingers and smiles*

I can't believe I'm doing this... But you're right, I just can't help myself...

*Looks up and notices the bulge in his pants*

Looks like you can't quite help yourself either...

Even if I'm super comfortable touching myself in front of you, maybe I should stop

so we can both focus on the interview.

After all... It's the only important thing right now... Right?

...

No silly!

What kind of girl would I be if it bothered me to see you this aroused while I masturbated nude in front of you? It's fine I assure you!

Anyway... Have I proven myself enough of a good fit to get the job? Or is there more to this impromptu interview?

…

A talent demonstration? Ok…

I'm huh... Not sure what you expect from me... I mean... You've already seen me at your party tonight... I think I did a pretty good job of 'beautifying' the event...

*Her hips start to sway rhythmically*

Unless... You mean you want to see if I can dance? Like... The party tonight isn't really set up with a dance floor so I couldn't show off my moves.

...

*Giggles*

It's a shame that's not what you need me to demonstrate... But you're right... I'm sure you'll get plenty of opportunities to watch me dance if you hire me.

So if it's not my dance moves you need me to show off, what else can this pretty girl do to prove she deserves to be hired?

...

*Her left eyebrow lifts in surprise while she continues to sway her hips*

Really? You weren't kidding then...

*Her eyes dart down to his crotch*

I mean... Not that I'm against being a little more than eye candy... Like you said before... Why not have fun while I work right?

But...

I feel like asking me to demonstrate my 'oral talents' during my interview means that the main reason you are hiring me is for the sex rather than just being eye candy for you and your guests.

If it is... Then I'm not sure how I feel about that...

...

What was that?

*Looks down and realizes she is still masturbating*

*She looks up with a sheepish smile*

Ok well... I can't really fault you for thinking I would be ok with that... Huh... Request... Seeing as I'm still masturbating even though I thought I stopped...

But like... Earlier... You made it sound like the sex was just a fun part of the job... Not an actual requirement... And... If you need me to prove my talents to get the job… Then… Like... Doesn't that imply that it's the other way around and sex IS the actual job I'm applying for right now?

...

Thought so... Well if that's the case... I'm not sure I'm a good fit for this job...

Don't get me wrong... I'm more than willing to sleep with you during my term when the mood strikes! We are both attractive people... But I'd feel weird... Wrong even... To be like… Hired for the sex I offered...

You know?

...

No... I'm pretty sure I'm not masturbating because I want to be hired as your sexual plaything... That's just... Wrong... Isn't it?

...

Look into your lovely eyes?

Sure... I always want to look into your eyes...

So warm... So familiar...

So captivating... I can't resist them...

Something happ...e...nss...

Wh...en... I look... In...to... your... e...y...e...s…

I… Just… C…a…n't...

L...o...o...k... a...w...aaaa...yyy.....

...

*Blinks rapidly*

HHHHMMMMmmm... Fuck that feels so amazing...

Looking into your eyes is like... I don't know...

Intense...

Makes me feel so fucking good…

Wait... Are we in your bedroom? Weren't we in your backyard?

That's weird... I don't remember coming here at all...

...

No of course... You're right... Why should it bother me?

What I really need to focus on is this interview, nothing else should matter to me right now. Not if I want to get the job and I really want this job!

*Looks down at the bulge in his pants and blushes*

So huh... You really weren't kidding right? You know… When you said the job included... Huh... Sex...

...

No no! Of course I remember! I'm not THAT much of a clueless klutz! It's just... Well... I've never huh... Had a job like that... So... I guess I'm a little nervous...

You know?

...

Oh I know everything will be fine! I completely trust you and your hiring process! That's not the issue per say… I mean… I’m more than willing to show you my oral talents… 

It’s just...

I'm just not sure...

I mean... I’ve never… You know… Had a job like this before… As fun as it sounds… Something tells me that maybe… I’m not the right girl for the job…

...

Yeah ok sure... My high compatibility or whatever… Makes me the perfect girl for the job...

But I don't know...

Besides... What DOES that even mean? You haven't answered that yet. What am I highly compatible with?

...

Your eyes?

Yeah... I know what you mean... It feels so wonderful to look into them...

But... How can being highly compatible with the relaxing effects of your special eyes make me the perfect girl for the job?

…

*Blinks in disbelief*

Wait wait wait... Back up a minute...

What are you saying exactly? That can't be right... You can't just take control of people like that...

...

What?

*Looks down at her fully undressed body*

Ok... I... I'll admit I don't remember getting naked...

Wait... You’re serious… Aren’t you?

Oh god… This can’t be happening… I have to leave!

...

NO! 

I won't relax and... Look into your eyes… I… I mustn’t… 

You’ll take control again…

*Head lifts up and she looks into his eyes*

Oh god... I can't help it... I... I WANT to look into your eyes...

But I can't... You'll... Do... Things...

Fuuckk... Your eyes... They make me... Feel... So nice...

I... Don't... Want... To look... Away...

HHmmm...

So... C...a...p...t...i...v...a...t...i...n...g...

...

*Blinks rapidly*

HHHmmm... DAMN that feels so incredible… Like a massage for my brain…

It gets better and better...

*She kneels down in front of him sitting on the edge of the bed*

Say... If you do hire me... Will you keep looking into my eyes like that?

...

*Giggles*

You’ll do it to me as much as I want huh? Sounds pretty alluring to me…

*Moves forward and unconsciously places his cock between her tits*

Consider me doubly motivated to prove I'm worth it because I just can't get enough of how they make me feel! 

...

Right... I vaguely remember you saying something like that… But like... Why should it bother me if you take control of me with your eyes?

*Her hands come up and pushes her tits around his shaft*

...

Well I can see how some girls wouldn't like that…

But they just don’t know how safe it is to let you take control, that’s all!

*Smiles mischievously*

Besides… I’m sure that if they had a taste of your special control… They’d love how it felt just as much as I do…

*She starts moving her tits up and down his shaft*

...

Ahhh... Makes sense that I only feel this way because I'm highly compatible...

*Giggles*

I'll have to thank my lucky stars then... Not only does it give me a chance to get this amazing job opportunity... But it also allows me to feel the incredible effects of your eyes...

Although...

I'll admit that it's still a little unsettling that you can make me do things without me realizing I'm doing them! 

…

*Looks down at herself and giggles*

Oh my... Now how did THAT get there?

*Licks her lips as she notices the drop of precum on his shaft*

I'll admit, I'm kind of grateful to find myself suddenly stroking your cock like this... It completely bypasses my nervousness from before...

*Looks up and smiles*

I guess we could call it a benefit of being controlled... Right?

...

*Giggles*

Yeah... That was pretty strange to say…

Is that... HHmm... Your doing?

...

Thought as much!

*Giggles*

I guess that means you can control more than just my body! I have to admit... That's equally as frightening as it is fascinating...

*Continues to stroke up and down for a few moments*

So huh... I know I shouldn't be this curious... But since it looks like you'll be sampling my erotic delights regardless of what I would normally decide... May I ask for a favor?

...

It's nothing much... But so far, it feels like you've subtly used your eyes to make me do and think things without really noticing I was doing it… At first anyway…

*Giggles*

I'm not sure if it's even possible... But I'm curious to FEEL your control... I mean... Like... More than what I feel in your eyes… Is… Is that even possible? Or does your strange power only work one way?

...

It is possible? Great!

So all I have to do now is look into your eyes... Right?

*Smiles broadly as she does*

OOOhhh... I think I just... Felt the difference...

HHmmm... Fuck... That... F...ee...ls... SOO much better...

YYYeeesss...

I... Can... F...e...e...l... my...s...e...l...f... Sl...i...pp...ing...

...

*Blinks rapidly before licking her lips*

HHHHMMM.... Fuuccckk...

That was... HHmmm... Wow...

*Drools as she looks down to her chest*

Oh god... Your... Your cock!

That's... Oh yes... That's you isn't it?

Oh fuck... I can't...

I NEED it... Pp...Please?

I... need to suck it...

...

OH GOD thank you... MMMMFFF!

*Her mouth envelops his shaft in one smooth gulp*

*Moans around his girth before lavishing it with attention*

...

*Sucks up his length*

Fuck... Yes... FUCK yes...

*Looks up while her hands keeps stroking*

You're so fucking right... I... I've never felt so... GOOD... Sucking cock before... That's you too... Right?

...

Oh god... This is sooooo amazing... I mean... WOW...

It... It almost feels like I'm fucking!

*Kisses and licks his shaft a few times*

Come to think of it...

I... I didn't even think to resist the urge I felt... Fuck...

You were right...

*Licks and kisses his cock as she stroked*

With my high compatibility to your eyes... HHMMM...

*She shivers as she kisses his cock*

It really does make me perfect for the job… Because it's clear you can make me do… HHmm… Or want... Anything you wish...

*She focuses on licking the underside of his helm, making him moan*

I... I know it's wrong to wish for this...

But... Fuck...

This feels too amazing to pass up...

*She smiles seductively up at him*

...

Yes... Even after I've learned what it means to be hired...

I... I still want you to hire me.

Not that I'd have much of a choice in the matter if you already decided to hire me or not...

After all... I have the sneaking suspicion that you could just as easily fuck my brains out tonight and send me on my way without me finding anything odd or wrong about it.

Right?

*Winks playfully*

...

*Giggles*

I might look like a blonde bimbo... But I'd like to think I'm more clever than the average party girl...

*Sucks around the head for a few moments*

Which also allows me to deduce that your 'job offer' is really just an excuse to find pretty compatible girls to fill up your lovely home with what amounts to an obedient little Harem of girls you fully molded to your liking with special power...

That's what I'm REALLY auditioning for right now... Right?

...

*Giggles*

No... I can't say it bothers me that I’m actually interviewing for a… Well… Harem girl position…

I’ll admit that it’s like… Clearly NOT what I expected when I looked for you tonight, but honestly, I’m not disappointed that I am.

*Kisses his cock head*

Especially not after experiencing how amazing your control feels and how pleasurable it can make my...

*Giggles*

Expected duties…

*Giggles as she resumes sucking*

*Slowly worships his manhood*

...

*Looks up in to his eyes, cock still in her mouth* 

*Her up and down moves slow down*

*Her gaze grows vacant*

...

*Blinks rapidly as shot after shot splashes on her face*

HHmm… OOHHH!!!

Fuck…

*Giggles*

That felt so amazing… And god… Waking up to your sudden release…

Wow… Feels like you just claimed me… Christened me even…

*Wipes a big globe from her cheeks and makes of show of tasting it*

Hhmm… If this means what I think it means… Then I’m looking forward to fully converting to my new object of worship…

*Licks her lips while winking seductively*

You know… Your eyes are really amazing because right now, I’m not afraid to say that they turned me into a new convert that is eager to worship your control and I have great faith that my surrender to your special power will bring me infinite pleasures…

…

*Giggles*

What? No! Why would you pay someone you can completely mind control with your eyes? I already feel like you own me… And… Like… Why would you give a salary to someone you own? It makes no sense. 

Especially since the benefits of said ownership feels so damn incredible…

…

*Smiles brightly*

Thank you! Huh… Sir… I’ll do my very best to live up to your expectation and if I don’t, please feel free to use your eyes on me until I have no choice but to fulfill them.

[agent-calivide]

IEYTD Dates

I’m pretty sure the IEYTD franchise all takes place over the course of like a year, if not a few months, and frankly, I feel so bad for Agent Phoenix. Imagine going through all of that in such a short window of time!

While it’s hard to get exact, precise dates, we can finagle a rough guesstimate out with information in game (my favorite type!)

So, we know that Seat of Power took place on July 30th due to Solaris sending an email basically asking what the everloving fuck was going down on earth that lead to such erratic targeting (it was Phoenix)

And we know that the agent gets on the death engine soon after Seat of Power as Handler is really surprised that the team in decryption already got the intel to them. But we also know there’s a window of a few days between Seat of Power and the Death Engine, as there’s an E-Mail from Professor X-Ray that was sent on August 1st

Now, this would make things messy, as X-Ray is implied to be dead before Seat of Power, but thanks to this being z-mail, we can make an assumption that this was a scheduled email that was written before X-Ray’s death, set up to be sent out when there was a shipment of orange juice to the Death Engine. And, thanks to the juice in the Agent’s shuttle, it’s safe to assume it’s likely August 1st when the Death Engine takes place. It probably isn’t later than that because the orange juice shipment was most likely on the personnel shuttle that was being sent up with Solaris’ assistant. We know she was expecting them because she’s not surprised by their presence, in fact she’s implied to be expecting them in her dialogue.

Then in IEYTD 2, we get a year.

1967.

I’ll be honest, this detail has always bugged me because just because it was carved in that year doesn’t mean it necessarily confirms that’s when IEYTD 2 takes place, but more on that later-

Regardless the year, we get a day confirmation on the clap-board in Safe and Sound, August 22nd

And we know it’s almost certainly the same August thanks to what we know about the EOD.

They don’t have the budget for vacations or real plants or bereavement for the Handlers, so they almost certainly wouldn’t give the agent A YEAR of medical leave. And we also know that there aren’t any missions between the Death Engine and IEYTD 2 because Handler says “we can’t let Zoraxis know you survived your last mission”

Phoenix gets AT MOST 16 days to recover if they arrived at the Death Engine the day that z-mail was sent out on August 1st, and only 15 if it was the 2nd.

Then on to IEYTD 3

Now, the week and day is hard to find, but we do get a license that is implied to be administered at a temporary license in:

1967. The same year as what was written under the desk in Stage Fright in IEYTD 2z

Now, do I have a whole mold math post that basically says it’s 7-15 days on the generous end? Yes. Do I also know that’s shaky evidence? Yes.

BUT, we also have real locations. Many of the locations have set weather that doesn’t have much shifting, but there’s ONE level where the weather shifts greatly from summer to autumn. And that’s in Operation Blindspot!

Reginald says that Prism was lost on the interstate heading across Bering Strait. For those who don’t know (like I didn’t) Bering Strait is in Alaska, where while they have temperate summers, when it gets cold, it gets cold. And fast. On average, Bering Strait’s snowfall starts in September and really takes off in October, so it’s most likely that IEYTD 3 takes place in early to mid September, as while it’s cloudy, there’s no indicators that it’s freezing, something Schell would have put in if they wanted to like in Cold Shoulder.

So the Agent goes from a normal, maybe even rookie agent, to Agent Phoenix, protector of the world and famous EOD agent in the span of approximately 2 months. I do not envy them, that sounds like hell