#like yeah do i still fantasize about kissing him softly at our wedding . sure . do i talk to him like he is a cute little kitty sometimes ?

[whatifwekilledgodandwebothgirls]

The situation drunk texted me 8 dead 5 injured

[messagefromtheveins]

Dirty Little Secret (Who Has To Know?) Part 7

A/N: Look at that. The first Cez/Reader part. I’m excited to hear your opinions on the ending of this chapter 😊

Words: 1.8k

Pairing: Cez/Reader

Your chest was tight and your fingertips trembled as you waited for the elevator to finally reach the lobby. It wasn't that you were claustrophobic, but with your anxiety at its peak tonight you felt like you were suffocating in this tiny space, your heart racing in your chest.

Releasing a sigh of relief as the elevator finally came to a stop, you rushed out as soon as the doors opened only to bump into another person, both of you stumbling for a moment. "Ohmygod, I'm so sorry," you rushed to apologize and looked up to face a pair of very familiar blue eyes. His hands were still on your waist when he had reached out to steady you.

You didn't even notice that your frantic heartbeat had started to slow down as you looked up into his kind eyes. "Woah, hi," he smiled and slowly let go of you again, though just a second later his eyebrows furrowed in worry as he took in your appearance. "Are you okay?" he asked quietly, the panic and anxiety still written in your eyes.

You swallowed heavily and nodded. "Just going for a little walk," you told him and pulled up the zipper of your jacket. Of course, just like always, you got your scarf stuck in the zipper. "I feel like I need some fresh air," you explained and huffed as you harshly pulled on the scarf.

He knew what that meant. He had been on enough of those walks when the day had been too long and the thoughts wouldn't stop racing.

He could see that your hands were trembling, worry settling deep in his chest. Reaching out, he gently tugged your hands back before he untangled your scarf from the zipper with a patience you couldn't muster at the moment. "Deep breaths, darling," he murmured and gave you a calming smile, even taking one of your hands and placing it on his chest so you could feel both his faint heartbeat and the steady rise and fall of his chest.

He patiently waited until your hand stopped trembling and your features started to relax. You gave him a soft smile and nodded slightly, "I'm okay. Thank you."

"Do you mind if I come with you?" he asked and immediately missed your touch on his chest as you pulled your hand back. "I don't like the thought of you walking around all alone at this hour."

The smile you gave him was genuine- he could see that you appreciated his concern. "You're such a daddy."

You only realized how it sounded after the words left your mouth, your eyes widening in shock while his lips curved into an amused grin. "What did you just call me?" he chuckled.

"Fuck, no, I didn't-" you stumbled over your words, your cheeks flushing and making his grin widen, "I didn't mean it like that. Fuck, this is so typical me again." You groaned and raised your hands to hide your face behind them, your heart racing in your chest. "I just-" you took a calming breath and reluctantly removed your hands as he reached for your wrists and tugged gently, "I meant like, you're always trying to take care of everyone and making sure that we're all okay. Like- like-”

"Like the tour dad," he helped you, amusement still written all over his face.

"Yes," you sighed, slowly relaxing as he gave you a calming smile that let you know that he didn’t take it the wrong way. "Exactly like that," you added and ran a hand through your hair. "Can we just- like, go? And forget this ever happened?" you pleaded, your cheeks a bright red.

"Can't promise that I'll ever forget about the moment you called me daddy. And that in public, of all places," he teased with a giggle.

"Ugh, Cez," you groaned in exasperation and received a loud laugh from him. "You know what, I'll be fine on my own," you said and turned on your heel to leave the hotel. He caught up with you in seconds, stepping outside into the chilly night air beside you.

"I'm sorry. I'll stop," He mumbled and offered his arm to you. You hesitated and looked at him with wary eyes, the smile he gave you seeming to convince you that you could trust him. Hooking your arm through his, you grasped his biceps and took the lead as he patiently waited for you to start walking. He wordlessly followed you as you took a left and began your way down the street. Letting you take a moment to gather your thoughts, he noticed how you took a deep breath beside him and held it in your lungs before slowly released it again as he spoke up. "Tell me. What's going on in that brilliant mind of yours?"

–—–—–—–—–—–

"Like, sometimes-" you looked up into the dark sky and took a deep breath, feeling his gaze on you, "I don't know. Lately I just want to grab all my stuff and get on the next best flight to somewhere far away. Start a new life with a basic 9 to 5 job. Maybe find myself a nice guy and get married. Just have a completely normal life like everyone else.”

It felt like you had been walking forever, but it didn't seem like he minded. He kept steering you into different directions- considering that he had been the only one who went to discover the city earlier today he knew some pretty places around the hotel area.

Cez had always been the best listener you had ever known and while you tried to avoid taking advantage of it and unloading all your problems on him, you also couldn't help but feel so much better since you had left the hotel. But the only thing you never mentioned was your growing fear of Shawn possibly falling in love with you.  

Reaching to take your hand into his, he grinned widely at your surprised giggle as he twirled you in a circle before he tugged you closer to him until your chest almost touched his. "So, where are we getting married?"

"Cez," you giggled, but he looked at you with a seriousness in his eyes that almost had you fooled for a moment. But you knew him too well, the playful expression in his blue eyes barely visible. "With you?" you asked and placed a hand on his chest, his features softening, "London. I don't know what your apartment is like, but I'd just move in with you and we'd have a basic but small wedding in some nice church.”

"Okay," he nodded, his arms loosely wrapping around your waist and smiling softly as you leaned your head against his chest. Neither of you seemed to care that you were in the middle of the sidewalk and received glances from everyone walking past. "So, we're living in London," he started fantasizing, his voice a quiet murmur that had you relaxing in his arms, "you find yourself some ordinary job in an office where you're sitting in a cramped cubicle all day long. You're taking the underground every morning and every night. We're always making dinner together as soon as we're both home from our ordinary jobs. And then we're catching up on our latest Netflix obsession before we're going to bed just to start the same old routine every day. Over and over." You had immediately started to understand where he was heading with this. "Does that sound like something you would be happy with for the rest of your life? No more traveling, just the same old town every day. No more tour life, just some shitty job in an office where you're taking calls all day long. No more meeting new people and seeing new faces every day, just the same commuters on the underground every day. And me. Just me."

You lightly nibbled on your bottom lip and thought for a long moment before you looked up to him, his hands gently squeezing your waist. "When you put it like that, the you part is really the only nice thing about it," you mumbled and reached up to fix the collar of his jacket.

He chuckled and leaned in to place a kiss on your cheek before he grasped your hand in his and started to walk again. "If there's one thing I'm absolutely certain about, then it’s that you're not made for a normal life. You need the excitement of always being on the run," he said and looked at you like he needed confirmation of the statement, smiling as you nodded with a defeated sigh. "Hey, I'm not saying this to make you feel bad."

"I know," you responded and shrugged, "but you're right."

"You just-" he sighed heavily and gave your hand a gentle squeeze. "You make it unnecessarily hard on yourself all the time," he told you, the hotel coming back into view down the road. You had lost all sense of orientation a while ago, so the sight came as a surprise. "You got such a great team around you all day long and believe me when I tell you that really everyone loves you and wants you to be okay. And yet you keep pushing everyone away and hide somewhere instead of talking to someone and honestly, it drives me insane,” he told you with a soft chuckle, but you knew that he was serious.

You took a deep breath. "I just don't want to be a burden," you mumbled, but he heard it.

He immediately stopped in his steps and turned you to face him, his hands cupping your cheeks so you had to look at him. "You are not a burden," he told you, his voice firm and eyes full of sincerity, "you hear me? My door is always open for you, darling. Even if it's 4 in the morning. I'm always there to listen and try to help, yeah?”

"Okay," you breathed and nodded, a small smile spreading over your lips, "thank you, Cez."

But he didn't let go of you, instead looked at you with an expression in his eyes that you couldn't quite define- though you could see that something was on his mind. "Can I ask you something?" he murmured, receiving another nod from you. "Well I guess it's more like an offer. A suggestion? No. But offer also doesn't sound right-"

"Cez," you interrupted him with a giggle and reached a hand up to curl it around his wrist, "what is it?"

Taking a deep breath, he concentrated on the way your thumb brushed over the inside of his wrist while you looked up to him with curious and amused eyes. "Just- keep in mind that I mean this in the most platonic way ever, okay? No intentions behind it. I just feel like it might be a nice change for your mental health."

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion while you tried to figure out what the hell he was talking about.

"Do you want to come back to England with me during the short break?"

S.Mendes+Team Taglist: @justanotherfangurl272 @alone-in-madness @waitonmedarling @shawnase @rechema

DLS Taglist: @someoneunimportantxx @shawn-mendes-thirst @hi-my-name-is-cass @havethetimeeofyourlifee @onmyshawn @ourboyshawn @beingmadisntalwaysbad @perfectywrong @liliane106 @selenesybill @aargyy (tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you 2, sorry :/) 

(feel free to message me if you want to be moved/removed)

[lg-bts-cenarios]

BTS Jungkook’s date with his boyfriend interrupted by a fan (mlm imagine)

thank you @kpopchangedmylifesstuff for the request ! I hope this is what you wanted :)

-i added the ‘read more’ option,, but sometimes it doesn’t work, so sorry if you’re trying to scroll past n it’s a lot? :\

⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

The store is fairly small, filled with overpriced trinkets and a smell that’s oddly comfortable and familiar, but that might just be the candle burning by the cashier register.

The employee is an old woman, she seems about sixty-five, but her smile when she greeted you was bright and youthful. Even so, you’re glad she went to the back for her lunch break, it allows you and Jungkook to have the illusion of privacy while you search around the store for unique items.

Jungkook lets go of your hand, reaching out for the small jewelry display and pulling out a pair of matching bracelets.

Chuckling at the Minnie and Mickey Mouse charms attached to the silver body of the bracelet, he looks up at you, “Should we get couple bracelets- or is that too cheesy?”

“You have similar ones with the members, don’t you?”

He shrugs, “Yeah, but they’re mostly from souvenir shops when we travel-“

He pulls out a pair of ‘gold’ bracelets, the material cheap and already stained, but the design is fairly cute, “Taehyung would have a stroke if he saw me wearing this,”

You snort, imagining the other boy’s distress, “He’d take you to a Gucci store immediately.”

Jungkook scoffs, but nods, knowing Taehyung well enough to agree with you.

He turns around, grabbing a hold of your hands again and whining, “But seriously, hyung- let’s get something cute together.”

You pretend to think, “Let’s look for something other than bracelets, I deserve a special accessory, don’t I?”

“You deserve the world hyung.” His words sound playful, but his smile is sweet and genuine.

You step closer to him, smirking.

He raises an eyebrow, thinking you were just going in for a hug, but gasping when he feels your hands grab at him, the denim of his jeans rough under your hands.

Almost wishing Jin was there to experience your remarkable sense of humor, you whisper into his ear, mockingly seductive “Then I have everything that I deserve right in my hands,” you squeeze, “This is my world.”

Jungkook pushes you away, cheeks red and flustered, but still laughing, “Are you insinuating that I’m your world- or that my ass is?”

“Which one of them is round an insanely big?”

He rolls his eyes, shaking his head in feigned disapproval. Sometimes, it still amazes him how he fell in love with someone so incredibly stupid.

He makes his way around the display stand, spotting another section just for jewelry, “Hmm… how about couple rings?”

You grab the ring closest to you, looking around to make sure the elderly woman is still out of sight.

Then you get down on one knee, dramatically wiping away non-existent tears away from your eyes as you reach out for his hand.

Jungkook flushes, embarrassed even if no one is watching.

“Will you be my lawfully wedded wife- for better, or for worse?”

“Hyung! Don’t joke around about marriage if you’re not planning on making me your husband,” there’s a small pout on his lips as he whines, hands on his hips like a toddler.

You get up from the floor, smiling at him fondly before pecking his lips, “Who says I’m not?”

He mumbles into your lips, and you kiss softly even as he speaks, “Then I hope you ask Taehyung for advice when choosing our engagement ring, because I am not about to say yes to a-“

“Jungkook Oppa!”

Both of you pull apart, quickly, as if an electrical current had passed between you.

“Bangtan Sonyeondan’s maknae Jungkook oppa!”

He cringes at the title, and your skin feels uncomfortably heavy as you groan and slap a hand over your face, tired.

He looks at you apologetically and mouthes something you can’t quite catch, before turning around to approach the fan calling for him.

“Hello! it’s nice to meet you- are you a fan?”

His tone sounds overly enthusiastic, but you think it might not be obvious to someone who doesn’t wake up next to him every morning, someone who’s not familiar with his real voice.

“Of course! I’ve been supporting Bangtan Sonyeondan since you first debuted,” the fan is young, fourteen or fifteen maybe, and you wonder if she’s fantasized about marrying your boyfriend before, “I’ve even been to three of your concerts!”

You step away from Jungkook, surreptitiously, wishing you could disappear into the background.

The fan’s eyes glance over to you, you swallow and pray, please don’t ask about me, please don’t ask about me, please don’t ask about me-

She calls out to you and you can’t help but flinch at the loud volume of her voice, even then, it’s annoyingly sweet and charming.

“Are you one of Jungkook Oppa’s good friends?”

Simultaneously, Jungkook nods and you shake your head.

She tilts her head to the side, suspicious.

“It’s alright, I really won’t tell anyone!”

Jungkook looks back at you for help, scratching the back of his neck and opening his mouth like he means to say something, but the words refuse to come out.

You clear your throat, “Yeah, we’re good friends,” he nods and smiles, it comes off as a small grimace, but his eyes encourage you to continue, “It’s not always safe for him to be honest about his relationships- or friendships, you know...?”

She blinks and seems to think for a minute before sighing and imagining what that must be like, trying to sympathize.

“Ah, I understand,” she bows apologetically, “I’ll get going then, it must already be hard enough to spend time together, I don’t want to intrude...”

Jungkook quickly jumps in, waving her off and insisting it’s fine, “Oh, don’t worry, you’re alright, it’s always great to meet army,” a selfish part of you almost wishes it wasn’t the case, but you know he’s telling the truth, “do you want- I mean, would you like a picture or-“

“Aren’t you not allowed to take pictures with fans just out and about?”

Jungkook shrinks into himself as he remembers, “Ah, that’s right, sorry- how about an autograph?”

The fan nods, pulling out a small notepad and pen out of her purse, she seems like the type to be prepared at all times.

They chat for a few of minutes as you stand there in the back, avoiding listening in on their conversation. Regardless of how many times this happens, it’s always awkward and a bit frustrating.

She’s about to walk out of the store, but just as she gets to the entrance, she glances back at you and waves, a knowing smile on her face.

A bit flustered, you only stare, but Jungkook picks up your right hand and brings it up to the air, moving it left and right, forcing you to wave back at her.

When she’s gone, Jungkook settles himself in your arms, head resting on to your chest.

He mumbles something, his voice too gentle for you to understand what he says, so you ask him to repeat himself.

“She asked me if I was happy.”

You ask him what he said.

He pulls his arms tighter around your waist, “I said I was- because, I am. I’m happy.”

The rings on the counter stare at you, mockingly, and you hum, resting your chin on the crown of his head

“Then she told me she saw us kissing,” you posture becomes tense, mind filling up with a thousand scenarios, all equally dreadful.

You make a move to try and pull away from him, he holds on to you even tighter, and maybe it’s just your imagination, but you can feel him shake, “She promised me that she wouldn’t tell anyone.”

You don’t trust her, she’s going to tell, you’re sure of it.

Despite this, you stay quiet, not wanting to overwhelm him further.

He looks up at you, his eyes are glassy, there’s a sad smile on his lips.

“Then she asked me if... if you made me happy.”

You ask him what he said, again.

He stretches, tilting his head a bit and placing a kiss on your lips, then pulling back to speak, “I told her that you did,” he kisses you again, “I said you made me the happiest I’d ever been.”

He laughs a little, “She told me that then it was alright, because that’s all that matters,” his eyelashes are wet, “She said that- as long as I was happy, then nothing else should matter to me.”

The store clerk comes out, even if you don’t look up, you can feel her eyes looking at the both of you, the warmth her orbs held earlier no longer there.

You kiss Jungkook, slower this time.

“Maybe’s she’s right- nothing else should matter if you’re happy... and aren’t you?”

He laughs softly again, his breath on your lips, voice sincere when he answers, “I really am, hyung,” someone else walks into the store, there’s a small gasp that comes out of them, but neither of you seem to care, “I’m happy.”

[mdelpin]

Things Aren’t Always As They Seem - Chapter 5

Gratsu Bingo 2019 Prompt: Death AO3 | FF.Net | Tumblr: Ch1, Ch2 , Ch3 , Ch4

Chapter 5

The door to the apartment had barely closed when Natsu rushed out of the bedroom dressed in one of Gray’s old t-shirts and shorts.

“Where were you guys?” he grumbled, examining them intently, looking for any clue to their disappearance. When he sensed no hostility between them, he relaxed. “I woke up, and you were all gone.”

“Sorry,” Lyon replied, “I couldn’t sleep, too nervous about today. They went with me to keep me company.”

“Right,” Natsu rolled his eyes at the blatant lie, “It’s nice to see some things never change, you still suck at lying.”

Lyon laughed nervously, “I really do need to start getting ready. I’m going to go take a shower to see if I can wake up some. Can someone make me some coffee, please?”

“I think I can manage that,” Zeref offered, “Maybe even some breakfast, depending on what you have on hand.”

Zeref set himself to the task of putting some food together, wanting to give Natsu and Gray some time to talk.

“Hey Gray, don’t forget Mom is coming over in about an hour.”

Gray cursed inwardly, he’d let himself get so caught up in everything that was happening he’d conveniently forgotten he was still expected to attend the wedding. He glanced over at Natsu, wishing he could just ditch it and spend more time with him but even he wasn’t that much of an asshole.

He’d never do that to Lyon, his brother had always been supportive of him, and it was his turn to do the same for him. Especially since he’d already shown him how nervous he was.

“I’ll be ready,” Gray gave his brother a reassuring smile before grabbing Natsu’s hand and leading him back into his bedroom, closing the door behind them, wondering if it was too soon to try to kiss him. He settled for pulling him into a hug.

Natsu let him hold him tightly against him without complaining, “You know, I don’t remember you being this touchy-feely before.”

“Does it bother you?” Gray released him, gazing at Natsu’s expression, wondering if he was pushing him away already.

“Not exactly, it’s just different,” Natsu rubbed his forehead, a nervous gesture Gray remembered well, “It’s just I spent two years thinking you hated me.”

“If I’m honest, I might have for a day or two, but then I got my head out of my ass,” Gray admitted before lowering his head sadly, “Why didn’t you ever try to get in touch me?”

He was still a bit upset that Natsu had never replied to any of his messages.

“I lost my phone on the boat. I was really sick during the trip, and it fell overboard at some point,” Natsu explained sheepishly, “I haven’t had a phone in almost two years. I did think about writing to you once I realized I was going to be gone a lot longer than I’d thought, but we were never really in town or cities.”

“I would have gone with you,” Gray murmured softly, and he found himself grabbing hold of Natsu’s hand. It was getting embarrassing, he couldn’t seem to stop himself from touching him, but he felt the need to continually reassure himself that Natsu was really there.

“I know you would have, but I had no idea what I was getting into, and I would have never forgiven myself if I put you in danger.”

Natsu smiled at all the unexpected affection. It was unusual for Gray to be so needy, but Natsu knew he’d scared him by disappearing and he didn’t mind.

He’d come back for this after all, determined to try to make a go at a relationship. It had torn him up inside to have to deny Gray at that party, but his mind had already been made up, and he’d hoped he could fix things when he returned.

“I’m not going anywhere, Ice Block,” Natsu insisted while squeezing Gray’s hand, ”I promise.”

Hearing him talk about his time away reminded Gray that he still didn’t know anything about what had happened. It also made him think about what Zeref had told them. Igneel was dead.

It hurt to think about it. Gray had loved Igneel, the man had been a father figure to him and Lyon when they’d desperately needed one. He remembered how the two of them would fantasize that Igneel would fall deeply in love with their mother and marry her and they would all be one big happy family like one of those cheesy shows on TV.

But it never happened, although Ur and Igneel liked each other well enough, they seemed to be content being single parents, helping each other out whenever they could. And now Gray thought he understood why.

Gray knew the grief he felt was only a fraction of what Natsu would feel, and although he understood it would only get worse the longer they postponed it, Zeref had to be the one to tell him. Not just because Gray didn’t want to be the one to destroy his hopes, but because he knew Zeref would see it as part of his penance. He would never feel worthy of telling Natsu who he was until he got this off his chest.

That just made him want to hold on tighter, for he had a feeling the next time he saw Natsu, he would be irrevocably changed. He really hoped Zeref didn’t fuck this up.

“So, uh did you date anyone else besides Juvia?”

“Can we please not talk about this now?” The last thing Gray wanted to get into in his current mood was all the stupid shit he’d done while Natsu was gone. He regretted all of it.

“Oh,” Natsu looked down at Gray’s carpet, not wanting him to see his disappointment.

“I — I thought you left because I kissed you, and then you never returned my calls. I was upset and disgusted with myself, and I thought I’d fucked up our friendship,” Gray tried to explain, but it sounded lame even to him.

“I had it all planned out,” Natsu said wistfully, “I was going to come out to you, and give you some time to get used to it, maybe have you see me the way I saw you. And then, then I was going to tell you how I felt.”

Natsu snorted, “I never expected you to be the one to kiss me. God, I wanted to kiss you back so much, but that would’ve been unfair. I already knew I was leaving. I thought I was only going to be gone for the summer, I figured we could pick things up when I came back.”

“Let’s just pretend none of that happened, and start over, yeah?” Gray’s eyes softened, he let go of Natsu’s hand to trace his finger on the other’s cheek. “I like you Natsu, I have for so so long.”

“I like you too, Princess,” Natsu grinned happily, using the nickname he’d coined because of how long it took Gray to do anything, the last of his worries floating away with Gray’s words. He placed his arm around Gray’s waist and tugged him towards him, their mouths inching ever closer, breath intermingling as lips almost touched only to be interrupted by the loud sound of urgent knocking.

Gray, irritated by the interruption, looked down at his watch, and with a long-suffering sigh, ran to open the door. The wedding craziness had begun.

“Don’t tell me you’re not even dressed yet?” A disgruntled voice scolded Gray in dismay as she entered the apartment before turning to yell. “Lyon, where are you?”

“In my room!” Lyon called out in a muffled voice, “I’m getting ready.”

“You’re early, “ Gray complained to his mother.

“Nice to see you too, Sunshine,” Ur retorted, giving her son a peck on the cheek, “I was going crazy at the house, and Juvia’s mother has been calling nonstop, it made me anxious.”

Gray waited for what he knew would immediately happen, feeling a bit badly for his poor mother who already had a lot on her plate. Today was probably not the best day to dump all this on her.

“Natsu?” Ur experienced a myriad of emotions at seeing the boy she considered as her other son, but for the moment relief prevailed, “Oh my God! Baby, is that really you?”

Natsu gave her a warm smile, even though he knew for a fact he was about to get his ass handed to him in a few minutes. “Hey Ur, I’m back!”

She lunged at him, giving him a hug that quite possibly removed a few years from his life, but it was well worth it. This woman was the only mother he’d ever known, and he loved her deeply, despite her occasional emotional outbursts. He flinched when he felt the tears wet his shoulders. Shit! He’d made her cry.

Once she’d gotten the hug out of the way, she laid into him, “Where the hell have you been? We were all worried sick about you.”

“He went looking for Igneel,” Gray informed her, trying to get some of her attention away from his boyfriend.

Ur’s eyes widened, and she was about to say something when she caught a strange look on Gray’s face that confused her. She decided to back off until she could figure out what it meant. “Well, of course he did, and I can’t wait to hear all about it once this wedding is over. Gray, have you even taken a shower yet?”

“No, Mom, I was talking to Natsu.”

“Well I need help getting stuff in the car, and neither of you is ready to go,” Ur complained.

“Zeref and I can help,” Natsu assured her.

“Who’s Zeref?” Ur asked, her nose wrinkling as she thought about all of her sons’ friends.

“He’s my brother,” Natsu grinned, knowing that information would shock her.

“Your what?!” Ur squealed, “Okay now I really can’t wait to hear about what happened to you.”

Natsu laughed, “Let me get some shoes on.” He went to Gray’s room to look for his shoes and change back into his jeans. After some brief introductions, he and Zeref were recruited to be her slaves while she waited for the twins to get ready.

The twins were finished by the time Zeref and Natsu were done lugging boxes and other random items down to Ur’s car. They all sat down together to eat the food Zeref had made.

“Lyon, you look like shit, your pictures are going to come out terrible,” Ur groaned, already thinking of Juvia’s mother, “Did you even sleep?”

Gray waited until Lyon and his mom were bickering before he leaned over to whisper to Natsu.

“Are you sure I can’t talk you into coming to the wedding with me?”

Natsu seemed to consider it, but he shook his head, “Today should be about Lyon and Juvia. If I show up, people are going to flip out. I don’t want to take away from them, and in all honesty, I don’t think I’m ready to face everyone yet.”

Gray knew Natsu was right, but it pained him to leave him, it was stupid he knew, but he’d just gotten him back.

“I promise I’ll be here when you get back.”

“Alright,” Gray agreed, placing his hand over Natsu’s underneath the table and smiling when Natsu laced their fingers together.

After a lot of hectic goodbyes and Ur extracting a promise from Natsu that he and his brother would have dinner with her and Gray that evening, the Fullbusters were off.

Gray and Lyon had agreed not to tell Ur about Igneel’s death until after the wedding knowing it would be a shock to her and it would ruin her enjoyment of the ceremony.

“Are you ready for this?” Ur asked Lyon seriously as they made their way to the car, both boys holding on to garment bags containing their formalwear for the wedding.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Lyon deadpanned, causing Ur to whack him on the head and Gray to laugh.

“Everything’s going to be just fine,” Gray assured him before adding with a smirk, “At least it’s not me marrying Juvia.”

Lyon rose to the bait, and the two happily bickered all the way to the church with Ur yelling at them to shut the hell up.

O-o

Natsu waited for a few minutes to make sure they were really gone before laying into Zeref, “So you wanna tell me what that little stroll was all about?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Zeref hedged as he set about clearing up the plates from the table and putting them in the sink. He’d no idea how to work the machine, he’d always had servants for that sort of thing. The only reason he knew how to cook anything was that he’d liked to spoil Sona sometimes by making her breakfast in bed.

He was terrified, he didn’t want to lose his son after just getting him back, but Zeref knew that was a distinct possibility, just as he knew it would be no one’s fault but his own. There was a lot he hadn’t told Natsu yet.

Like the fact that he’d been the one to write that letter. Or that Acnologia wanted Natsu dead since he was the legitimate heir to the Empire of Alvarez.

“Please,” Natsu scoffed, fixing his gaze on his brother, “I’ve known those two most of my life, it was obvious they were upset about something, and I sort of doubt it had anything to do with the wedding. What did you tell them?”

“You didn’t tell them about the time we got captured?!” Natsu panicked briefly. Gray would flip his lid if he ever learned of that. Then again, if Gray knew about it, Natsu would probably already be sporting a black eye.

“No, nothing like that,” Zeref assured him, “I didn’t tell them anything about our time in Alvarez.”

“Then what? What could you possibly say that would upset them?” Natsu pushed, narrowing his eyes as a thought occurred to him. “You don’t have a problem with me being gay all of a sudden, do you? Because I’m not giving Gray up!”

Zeref had to laugh at that, out of all the fathers in the world, he was probably the most relieved to learn his son was gay. It wasn’t a guarantee that Natsu would never father any children, but it certainly improved his odds of being able to die in one lifetime. “No, Natsu. I’m quite happy that things seem to be going well with Gray. I like him.”

He watched Natsu continue to worry and worked his courage up. Gray and Lyon were right, Natsu needed closure so that he could begin the grieving process that should have started years ago.

“Could you sit down? I need to tell you something important.”

Natsu did as he was told, staring up at Zeref with trusting eyes that hurt more than he thought possible.

“It’s about Igneel,” Zeref had barely managed to get the name out when Natsu jumped out of his seat and rushed towards him, grabbing his shoulders excitedly.

“You know where he is? Is he in Magnolia? Why didn’t you tell me before? Can we go see him?”

Zeref couldn’t bear to look at the wild hope in Natsu’s eyes, his hands tightened into fists as he willed himself to destroy that hope forever. He’d never felt crueler in his life.

“No Natsu, I’m afraid we can’t. You see, Igneel died many years ago,” Zeref managed to get the words out somehow, and when he witnessed Natsu’s despair he learned that although he might not be able to die physically there were many ways to die, and he’d just discovered one. He felt wretched.

“You can’t know that!” Natsu protested. His eyes had begun to tear up, and he sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than Zeref. His voice was getting increasingly louder as he fought off the words he didn’t want to accept.

“He’s out there, I know he is, and I’ll find him! You’ll see.”

“No, Natsu, you need to listen to me,” Zeref kept his voice as low as he could, hoping Natsu would get himself under control. “Igneel died in Alvarez, eight years ago.” He gulped before adding, “I was there, I saw it happen.”

“You...you WHAT?!” Natsu screeched, “Why didn’t you save him?” he grabbed Zeref’s shoulders again, shaking him roughly, and Zeref let him, knowing Natsu needed to get some of his grief out.

“He was a prisoner just like I was, there was nothing I could do.”

Natsu stopped hitting him, satisfied for the moment. He studied him intently, and Zeref could tell he was thinking hard.

“Why?! Why did they kill him, what did he even do? Why did he go to Alvarez in the first place?”

Zeref sighed, he’d been hoping Natsu wouldn’t ask that question, but now that he had Zeref wouldn’t lie. Natsu deserved to hear the truth, but before he could say a word, Natsu had already figured it out.

“He went there because of you, didn’t he? DIDN’T HE?”

“Yes, he did,” Zeref couldn’t interpret Natsu’s expression, and it was beginning to worry him until it finally settled into one he was very used to seeing.

Hatred.

And as much as it hurt, Zeref found he couldn’t fault him for it.

Natsu dissolved into sobs, looking more like a child than Zeref had ever seen him and he wanted to do something, anything to make his son stop crying like that, but all he could manage was an apology. “I’m so sorry, Natsu. I wish they’d killed me instead.”

“Me too,” Natsu spat out, and ran out of the apartment. He couldn’t stand to look at Zeref any longer.

Zeref watched him leave, trying very hard not to let those words get to him. He knew Natsu was upset and he probably didn’t mean them. It had gone about as badly as he’d expected.

Zeref was convinced that Natsu would never be able to accept him as his father, hell he’d be lucky if the boy ever wanted to have anything to do with him ever again.

Even so, he needed to make sure Natsu was alright. He decided to chase after him, but by the time he’d made it downstairs, Natsu was nowhere to be found.

To make matters worse, Zeref realized he had no keys to get back into the apartment. He’d never been to Magnolia before, and he’d no idea where anything was so he sat down on the building’s front steps to wait for Gray to return home. Hoping he would have an idea where Natsu might have gone.

“I’m sorry Igneel, I handled that poorly,” Zeref muttered before placing his head in his hand and letting himself cry for the first time since being forced to witness Igneel’s execution.

[xladyxfatex]

Little Dove (Chapter Six)

To be honest it had taken Norman so long to find Nicole after she left set, not because he wasn't worried but because he needed to find the ring he'd use to propose tomorrow night. He knew she had big, over the top pieces, and that white gold was her favorite. With that in mind, he went to the jewelries. He saw saw three pieces but it was the fourth he knew she'd love. It was white gold, with a small princess cut diamond, on either side was one other diamond, bringing the total to three. When he told the jeweler that that was the ring he wanted he simply smiled and boxed it.

When he got back to the hotel he saw Nicole's car knowing she was back he rushed to his room to put the ring away before going down the hall to her room. Now he was holding her close, trailing his fingers down her side and just simply enjoying their time together. This, moments like this was what he wanted most, to just feel loved for who he is not what people see him as. He knew he was making the right decision to ask her to marry him. She loved him even through all the bullshit, flaws and shortcomings. She stood beside him, raised him up when he was down and never once told him he couldn't follow his dreams. She gave him strength to believe in himself, and he knew he did the same for her.

This life they were going to build, it would be done with honesty, communication, trust, and love. While he was busy fantasizing about the life they'd have Nicole was slowly falling asleep.  She felt safe, wanted, loved, and warm. Norman had always been there ...well except for that one time in high school, but they made up months later, and hadn't had an issue like that since. 

"Hey Nicole, you still awake?" Norman asked a very sleepy Nicole.

"Mmhmm, what's up hun?" She looked up with tired eyes, that found to be so adorable.

"Do you remember senior year in high school? When the life teacher had is imagine our perfect wedding?' Nicole couldn't help the fit of laughter that came from her. Oh she remembered alright.

"Haha I believe you dear Norman said your ideal wedding would take place in a bar with all you could eat wings and all you could drink beer." She broke out into another fit of laughter. 

"But what was yours? And is it still your perfect wedding idea?" Norman sort of remembered hers but he wasn't sure if was still the same. Nicole gave a sigh.

"Yeah it's still my dream wedding…" She trailed off as she sat up fidgeting with her fingers before she spoke. "...ideal it would take place in a pumpkin patch, with Jack o lantern surrounding the path. It would be on Halloween night and all the guests would be in costumes. My hope is that I would dress as Sally and my Groom as Jack. After the ceremony we'd have a huge Halloween style party rather than a traditional gathering. To me that's simply perfect." Nicole smiled and her eyes sparkled. It was something she had always dreamed of ever since they first watched Nightmare Before Christmas. To be honest he loved her idea of the perfect wedding, it fit them both so perfectly. Norman smiled and kiss her softly. 

"That sounds like a wonderful dream wedding." They continued to talk about random things for the next hour or so before parting ways for the night to get some sleep. Of course before he left he reminded her of their date tomorrow night to which she giggled and said she wouldn't forget.

Morning came faster than either would have liked. Nicole had a simple breakfast of fruit then headed to the gym. She knew she wouldn't be able to work out this evening since Norman had, had something planned. The rest of day was a whirl wind and blurry. After working she went to set, had to sign a non disclosure agreement, but unlike the first one, this was more detailed since she'd be more privy to the workings on set, and future setups. 

Once that was completed she had to go to wardrobe for her fittings. Something she really was not enjoying. Finally she went to the make up/ special effects department, they were going to need to see how certain things looked on her in order to get her ready for filming. All these things had taken hours, she was already tired and not in the mood to do anything. But then she remembered the brief conversation she had with Andrew during lunch.

"So I heard Norman has something special planned for tonight? Any idea where he's taking you?" The glint in Andrew's eyes were clear as day he knew something but Nicole knew she'd never get it out of him. Tapping her chin she simply looked at him and said " Not a single clue just that I can dress as my normal self, no need for fancy clothes."

Andrew knew exactly what the plan was, and where Norman was taking Nicole. He had helped him plan this whole thing over a week ago when Norman first brought up the idea of proposing. "I'm sure where ever he takes you will be great. You've practically known each other your whole lives." He patted Nicole on the shoulder and left.

Yup, whatever tonight was there was no getting out of it. Finally returning to her suite, Nicole flopped on the couch. She had gotten a text telling her to be ready by 7:30pm for the outing, well it was only 3:23pm and since she didn't need to get all fancy, she was taking a nap. She set the alarm for 90 minutes and happily passed out.

Norman had left set and gone to the lake with Andrew to start setting things up. This lake was the first place Norman had brought Nicole the first time she came out to visit. Andrew grabbed the supplies from the trunk and began setting up all the while Norman looked to be in trance.

Norman wasn't doing well after his latest girlfriend had broken up with him. Kirkman needed him on his game and could not find away to make that happen. Andrew however had an idea, it was a risky one seeing as he had only met Norman's best friend once at a cast party back in New York, but fuck it was worth a shot. He'd take Norman's cell phone and tried to local the girls number, of course he didn't have in there by her name no that shit would be top easy. Instead a flood if text messages began coming in under the name  "Little One", thinking back the girl herself sure was short, reading the messages Andrew came to the conclusion that "Little One" had to be Nicole, and by God he was praying he was right.

Pressing call on the name the line only rang once.

"Oh God Norman! Are you okay? Tell me what happened what can I do to help?" The girl sounded frantic and Andrew swallowed hard. 

"Umm is this Nicole? Norman's best friend?" The line was silent seconds seemed like minutes but finally the girl replied. 

"Yes, this is she, may I ask whom you are, why you have Norman's phone, and is he hurt I mean physically?" He could hear the girl choking up on the line. The friendship between these two must be something incredible.

"My name's Andrew Lincoln, I'm-" he was cut of by Nicole speaking 

"Yes I know the name you're a co star with Norman on the show he's been on. It's a pleasure to speak with you, but how's he doing?" 

"Nicole, he's not well we need him to get back to his old self at least while on screen. Can you give us any help?"  Once again the line went silent. A soft sigh left her lips as she gently spoke " what airport is closest to where you guy are filming?"

Andrew gave the information, and Nicole made arrangements to fly out. She'd never gone to set with her best friend even though he always asked, and with this breakup she just hoped showing up would be okay. Andrew met her at the airport, she'd watch the show so she knew whom she was looking for. The drive to lot was a pain because she had been priorly cleared. When Kirkman came over and asked Andrew what the meaning of this was Andrew gently explained saying he was sure you'd be able to help.  You were lead and told to stay in Norman's trailer which you did without question.

Finally showing up, angry with his  performance, hurt by the breakup, Norman hadn't noticed Nicole sitting there analyzing his demeanor. Finally clearing her throat Norman's head shot up, ready to scream, but when he realized who was sitting there his eyes widen and walked towards her. Nicole held close whispering softly that things would be alright and she was her for the remainder for filming, she was here for him. 

Pulling apart he excused himself to get cleaned up. Once finished and changed they decided to grab a bite and aimlessly drive around, since Nicole had never been to Georgia. That's how they discovered the lake. They spent hours there that first night talking about everything, Norman finally releasing all the pent up anger and sadness. Nicole just sat there holding him, rubbing soft circles on his back and stroking his hair. It was then he realized even more that Nicole was always his safe place, he didn't need to be strong or domineeringly, he could truly be himself.

Norman was brought out of the memories when Andrew snapped his fingers. 

"You alright? You spaced out there for awhile." Looking around the place had been set up. A nice picnic blanket on the ground and lights hanging from the willow tree. A smile graced Norman's lips as he looked at everything. This was perfect, tonight would be perfect. 

"Yeah man I'm fine, just remembering the first time I came here with Nicole." He fiddled with the velvet box in his pocket, nervous wasn't even close to what he was feeling.  Andrew nodded and placed both hands on his shoulders.

"This is going to be wonderful, she'll say yes. You know she loves you, and not just what you are, she's been there your entire life, walked beside you, lifted you up, and has been the one unchanging constant. I'm just happy you finally got your head out of your ass to see it." Both men laughed as they went back to the car and to the hotel.

[mydarlingklaus]

Unexpected Bliss

A cute quick thing I wrote for the upcoming 5x11 episode of TO. There’s no direct KC, yet, but still KC and a teenage Hope is in it so don’t complain (: 

Happy reading!

Klaus turned and was immediately star struck as his older sister walked towards him in her wedding dress with flowers in hand. With not much prep time after Freya’s surprise proposal to Keelin Rebekah managed to find, well compel, the couple the perfect outdoor venue not too far from the plantation the family resided in New Orleans. The youngest Mikaelson sister planned practically everything, from colors to seating arraignments, though of course the happy couple had the last word. It was a simple and intimate gathering with the Mikaelson family and some members of Keelin’s wolf pack in attendance. The hybrid genuinely grinned looking at his sister in her white bohemian styled dress, appearing more beautiful than ever with a shy smile on her face. 

“You can stop looking like a proud dad any time now.” Freya teased now standing in front of him. “How about a proud brother instead?” Klaus smirked. “You look beautiful Freya.” Kissing her cheek. “Thank you. You look very handsome.” She complimented his simple all black tux. “I’m still in disbelief that this is happening. I’m really getting married.” Her cheeks reddened and she could feel the tears building in her eyes for the thousandth time that day, determined to ruin her makeup. Rebekah would never forgive her. Klaus’s lip curved into a gentle smile at her overwhelmed state full of bliss and happiness, finally. “You deserve it.” He genuinely declared. She smiled wide, blinking away her tears. “Thank you and also for agreeing to walk me down the aisle. I love Kol and Elijah but this just felt right. Somehow me and you ended up being the closest, who would’ve predicted that?” He softly laughed. “It was nothing, I assure you. I was honored when you asked.” Freya exhaled into a smile. “You’ve sacrificed a lot for this family, for me. A debt that I will never be able to repay.” “Klaus...” He put his hand up. “I’m serious. Everything you’ve done for Hope: being by her side when I couldn’t, practically helping Hayley raise her and being the support system she needed through this tragic transition in her life...” Their family was still coping with the loss of Hayley 2 months ago. Klaus hadn’t stopped feeling guilty or helpless trying to be there for his daughter and Elijah. It took awhile for them all to realize they needed to move forward, no matter how difficult it became and they managed to do so, together. He sighed before continuing. “This has been difficult for all of us, and I don’t know if we would’ve had the strength to suppress it all without you.” She sniffled tightening her hold on the flowers. “Keelin’s good, you two are good together. You deserve to be happy, one of us needs to be.” Klaus half joked. Freya sympathetically smiled at her younger brother who appeared more somber than he probably wanted to express. She pressed her lips together and sniffed her tears back. “That means a great deal coming from you. We’ve been through a lot, you and I. Our relationship did not start off great.” “Understatement.” Klaus corrected with a teasing smirk making them both softly laugh. Now they could laugh at the bad memories from their first encounters. Neither accepting nor trusting one another as family and even wanting each other dead; typical Mikaelson fashion. Yet here they are now, standing together with happy tears and smiles as Klaus prepared to walk her down the aisle for her wedding. It was surreal. “Yeah well we overcame it, we Mikaelsons always do.” Freya claimed, holding more meaning behind it than let on. Klaus simply nodded. “Our family has been through a lot, especially recently. If anything all the tragedy our family has endured only made me realize more than ever how short life truly is, even as an immortal you can agree with me on that.” He silently agreed. “It’s too short to feel like you’re in it alone or holding back from what you really want, and you’re not alone Klaus no matter how much you wish you were.” She sassed. He smirked. “What makes you think I don’t have everything I want? My entire family is finally back together, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for centuries.” “True, but I know you.” She answered. Klaus flinched when Freya grabbed his hand in hers. Affection still a foreign concept for him. She continued. “While family is very important you also need more, you should want more. I know you don’t believe it but you deserve happiness too Klaus.” His jaw tightened. “Our family is an extremely loyal one and I love that but, the short time I’ve been apart of it I’ve seen how easy it is for us to be selfish with each other. Wanting more for ourselves outside of family isn’t going to break us.” Freya began. Klaus furrowed his eyebrows. “We’ve created this notion that if we’re not shackled to each other for life we’ll fall apart not, realizing the negative effects it actually has on our family. We stop each other from being happy and then resent each other after.” “Freya-“ “I will always believe in ‘always and forever’ but family is supposed to be unconditional love, not forced. We can live separate lives and still be as close as ever, we might even be closer being apart.” She happily suggested. “It’s a cycle that’s been around for a thousand years and needs to finally come to an end. I almost lost Keelin for good over it and I don’t want that to happen to any of us again.” Freya claimed. Klaus’s jaw clenched and unclenched. He knew everything she was saying was true, if Rebekah and Elijah lecturing him for over the centuries wasn’t proof enough. “Why are you telling me all this now?” He asked. She laugh-cried. “Because I’m getting married and preparing to start a new life outside of my siblings for the first time in over a decade. I’m happy, really happy. I just want you to know that you need to start looking out for yourself too.” “I don’t need any help in that department, love.” Klaus smugly claimed. Freya rolled her eyes. “Uh huh, well you’ve come a long way since when we first met and even more before that. I’m not the only one who’s noticed, everyone has, especially a certain Mystic Falls headmistress...” She said with a teasing grin. His smirk dropped and a  blush of red instantly rushed to his face at the mention of the baby vampire in Mystic Falls, who he hasn’t seen or spoken to since she was last in New Orleans. The last time Klaus and Caroline were together was 2 months ago when they went on a brief, yet effective, road trip to track down a runaway Hope. Just the few hours being together Klaus was reminded of how much he genuinely missed her. Unfortunately, with everything happening lately with his family, there never seemed like a right time for Klaus to reach out to her. He didn’t even know what to say after receiving her more than generous letter following Hayley’s death. Not that she’s been far from his mind, but he definitely didn’t want to talk about it with one of his sisters. “Freya.” He warned. “Hey, you can’t get mad at the bride on her wedding day.” She smiled with a raised brow. Klaus glared which only amused Freya more. “I met your mysterious ‘friend’ when I visited Hope at school and was well informed your colorful history together.” She said suggestively. His blush grew and he dropped his hand from her hold. “I’m not discussing this with you.” Klaus claimed crossing his arms over his chest. Freya couldn’t help but laugh at Klaus’s embarrassment, like a teenage boy with a crush. “You can be in denial all you want. I just wanted to say she’s nice, pretty and definitely seems like she can handle you.” He subtly grinned knowing she definitely could. “Not to mention your daughter adores her like crazy and Hayley trusted her as well.” - So do I. Klaus wanted to add. Freya stepped closer to Klaus and smiled. “Look I might not know the extent of your story with Caroline and I might not know her as well as everyone else, but she seems like a good person and good for you. You guys have been in each others lives for a long time and she obviously cares about you...you care about her too.” - I more than care about her. His thoughts never ending. It still boggled his mind that Caroline Forbes, the baby vampire who unintentionally stole his undead heart over a decade ago and swore wanted nothing to do with him, cared about him as much as he did her. Klaus frustratingly sighed. “Fine yes I care about her, deeply. What’s your point?” The witch scoffed. “My point is that I want you to be happy and I think Caroline makes you happy, if that blush on your face isn’t proof enough.” He tried, and failed, to hide his small smile. There has been an obvious change in their dynamic since being in Mystic Falls together all those years ago. Caroline was more comfortable and unashamed of her feelings for him now, which was refreshing as much as scary. They hadn’t discussed much where their relationship would go now since re-entering each other’s lives, and frankly Klaus wasn’t sure he wanted to know. If anything, all these years constantly entering and exiting each others lives only proved to him how much they weren’t meant to be. Talking about it only made him dread. He nervously licked his lips, staring down at his feet. “If only it was that simple.” “Why can’t it be?” Freya shrugged. Klaus quickly stared up at his older sister. “You care about her, she cares about you and you both keep coming back in each other’s lives for a reason. Don’t you think you owe it to yourself to see where it could go? Stop making excuses and just go for it!” She persisted. He use to fantasize the possibilities of what could happen if Caroline finally gave him a chance. Yes, he promised to wait for her forever but the fact it might happen sooner than he thought was terrifying. No, no it could never happen. Not even now. The hybrid gulped. “I cant go back to Mystic Falls. I made her a promise-“ “Forget the promise! You’re acting worse than a child!” She joked. The corner of his lips twitched up. “Love, this is your wedding day. Shouldn’t you be focused on your love life instead of mine?” Her teeth scraped over her bottom lip. “Yes, it is my wedding day yet here I am focusing on you instead of the insane butterflies in my stomach ready to burst thinking about walking down that aisle towards the woman I love in a few minutes. I’m doing this because I care about you and love you.” Klaus stiffened but soon relaxed when Freya leaned in to give him a much needed reassuring hug. He awkwardly wrapped his arms around her tight making the witch smile. “Please be happy.” She whispered in his ear before kissing him lightly on his scruffy cheek and pulling away. “Don’t pretend that you aren’t dying to see her either.” Klaus simply rolled his eyes. - If only you knew. Anything Klaus was preparing to say was halted by his 15 year old daughter storming through the doors. The witch and hybrid both stared at the young girl confusingly as she stumbled in closing the doors behind her and approaching the two. “Hey! Sorry for the abrupt entrance but- oh my god, you look so beautiful Auntie Freya.” Hope happily complimented. “Thanks Hope.” Klaus stepped towards his daughter. “Sweetheart what are you doing back here? You’re supposed to keep the guests occupied till we come out.” “I know, I know. Uncle Elijah wanted me to inform you that we’re a little delayed because we only had enough chairs for 20 people and a special guest decided to show up last minute so Marcel had to go find another chair for her-“ “Special guest?” Freya asked. “Her?” Klaus asked at the same time. The younger witch pressed her lips together nervously, trying to avoid her father’s gaze and quickly looked over at her gorgeous auntie. “Did I mention how amazing you look Auntie Freya!” The girl nervously praised. Klaus took another step forward, towering over his daughter when he took in her sudden anxious behavior. “Hope...” She cautiously looked up at him. “Mhmm?” “Might I ask, who this special guest is?” Klaus asked. Hope shrugged. “Just a last minute rsvp.” She confirmed with a nervous smile. “Hope.” He challenged. She gulped, looking between the siblings with fidgety fingers. It’s not that she tried keeping this a secret, well at least till Klaus saw for himself anyway. Sighing in defeat, the young Mikaelson looked up at Klaus. “Fine, I invited her as my plus one but Auntie Freya said I could invite anyone I wanted-“ “Who, Hope?” He pressured. Sighing again, she grabbed his hand and walked him over to the back door. “Maybe you should see for yourself.” She warned Klaus’s eyes lowered as Hope opened the door enough to where it wouldn’t alarm the guests but Klaus would still be able to look through. He poked his head in to see all the guests in their respectable seats. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary until he spotted, her. The hybrid’s heart sank into his throat, stomach in knots and hands felt clammy when he immediately saw who was sitting in the front second row. Her recognizable bouncy blonde curls swung side to side as she looked around, flashing that signature pageant smile at the random guests introducing themselves to her and those wandering blue eyes he always drowned in. - I’m hallucinating. There’s no way she’s here. Klaus thought to himself. Blinking a few times to confirm this was real, that she was really here. The longer he stared the more real it became and anxious he felt.   His breath caught in his throat as he slowly turned his head to glare at his sneaky daughter. “Surprise?” Hope whispered with a nervous smile.

Please leave reviews on the attached link (:

[long-distance-cuckold]

Part 1: The Confession

Nikki and I have been married for five years. We met toward the end of her senior year in college, dated for two years, and then got married. We’ve always had an awesome relationship, and I thought our sex life had always been great too. Nikki is the sweet/innocent type, so it totally took me buy surprise when I discovered what a little firecracker she could be in the bedroom behind closed doors. She did some modeling in college for a lingerie company, and a few times she “modeled” lingerie for me, which was amazingly hot. She said she loved teasing me and watching me get super turned on watching her. Unfortunately as my work got progressively more stressful, our sex life suffered. I could sense her disappointment sometimes when I was too tired, or when I came too soon. I’m also in the Army Reserves, and during my first two-week annual training, I stumbled on a cuckold web site and started fantasizing about watching my Nikki with another guy. I don’t know what sparked the fantasy, probably a combination of being away from Nikki and being turned on by the mental anguish, kind of like BDSM of the mind.

I had confessed my fantasy to Nikki on two occasions. The first time I mentioned it, she got a little upset because she thought I was using it as a ploy to get her to allow me to have sex with someone else. The second time I mentioned it, she seemed curious and asked a bunch of questions. She admitted it sounded kind of hot, maybe a good roleplay sometime, but she insisted she could never really do something like that. Truthfully I could never have imagined her doing it either. Nikki has a high sex drive, but she’s what I’d call a “good girl” - incredibly sweet, a bit shy, innocent, yet very sexy. Things began to get interesting after being apart when I was deployed for a 12 months last year. The first three months we were very busy, and while Nikki and I emailed regularly, we had gone an entire month without actually talking.

Twice, Nikki had emailed me and said she needed to talk and she really wanted to talk face-to-face. I told her how much I would love that because I missed her. Plus I was horny as hell and needed some “stimulation,” I told her teasingly.

“Good, maybe we can Skype,” she suggested without saying much more. “I really need to talk to you.”

That week, things slowed down, so we were able to pick a Skype date

Nikki clicked the camera on and looked into the lens at me to make sure I could see her. She smiled and then walked over to the bed and lay on her stomach facing the camera, barefooted and smiling. (She knows I have a bit of a foot fetish, so I knew she was teasing me a little.) She was wearing the cutest little sheer lingerie thong panties and matching bra. Her toenails were painted bright pink, and the white soles of her feet were soft and clean as always. I assumed she wanted to look good for me since we hadn’t seen each other in a few months.

After some initial chit-chat, and the whole “I miss you so much” type stuff, Nikki sighed, looking down at her hands, “Mike, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you, but I wanted to do it face-to-face, which is why I haven’t told you yet.“

"What’s up sweetie?” I asked, concerned.

“I’m nervous about telling you …  I don’t want you to get upset.” She said nervously.

“It’s ok. You can tell me anything, sweetie.” I said.

She paused for a minute. Her smile faded and she looked more sympathetic. “I know we’ve been having a really tough time … and you and I both know things haven’t been as passionate as they used to be.”

“In the bedroom?” I clarified.

Nikki nodded. “Yeah.”

I nodded. “I know. I’ve been really bad about that. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

Nikki sighed. “No … it’s not just that.” Nikki looked at me innocently, almost sympathetically. “Remember that little fantasy of yours we talked about a few times?”

I paused, caught slightly off guard by the odd question. “Yeah,” I replied.

Only twice had I told Nikki  about my fantasy of watching her with another guy, but she completely dismissed it, saying she could never cheat on me. So I never brought it up again.

“I was against your little idea at first - I mean, I would never cheat on you … But then with you gone and everything, and our sex life really lacking … I got to thinking… .“

Nikki sighed with uncertainty. "Ugh, this is so hard.  … I’m just going to ask you: If something happened … I mean, for real …  would you like it, or would you be upset?”

I suddenly couldn’t breathe. “What do you mean?” I asked, genuinely confused.

“I just don’t want you to get upset… .”

“I won’t be upset, I promise. You can tell me.”

“So if I … kissed someone … what would you do? Hypothetically.”

After a stunned silence, I said, “I wouldn’t be upset. I think would be ok with that… . Who was it?”

She hesitated. Then looked up innocently, “What if - hypothetically - it was someone you know?”

“Someone I know? Who? I promise won’t be mad.” My mind was racing. Who did I know that would kiss my wife?

“Promise?” She said.

“Promise.” I said, forcing a smile. “I assume this isn’t hypothetical.”

Nikki bit her lip and shook her head slowly, looking up at me innocently.

She sighed. “It was Brandon.”

My heart skipped a beat. Brandon was a good friend of ours. He was a cool guy, a bit conceited, but a good guy. He is in great shape, good-looking, and very confident. A few months before I left we started working out together and hanging out a lot more. I guess he was kind of my best friend in a way. He flirted with Nikki right in front of me at times, but we just dismissed it as part of his personality, so I never guessed anything would happen.  

“No shit?” was all I could say.

“Mike, are you mad?” Nikki asked, genuinely concerned.

“No, baby. Not at all. I didn’t know you were attracted to him.“

Nikki’s cheeks turned a little red, but she just smiled sweetly. “I didn’t mean for it to be with your best friend … it just kind of happened.”

"Tell me what happened,” I said.

“Well, I wanted to tell you before, but we haven’t talked in almost a month. I know you talked about it, but I wasn’t sure if you really would be ok with it. Remember when I emailed you that a friend of mine wanted me to be his ‘date’ to his brother’s wedding in Chicago?”

“Yeah, it was Brandon?”

Nikki nodded, biting her lip. “I would have told you if you had asked… . Anyway, we had a really good time at the wedding.  The girls all got our hair done, and I was wearing a little blue dress with heels and that black lace lingerie you bought for me underneath. I never get dressed up like that anymore, so I felt really sexy. Brandon kept commenting on how sexy I looked, you know how he is. It made me feel good, getting all that attention from a cute guy.���

Nikki continued. “At the reception we were drinking and dancing. Everyone assumed we were a couple because they didn’t know me. We thought it was funny, so we just went with it. We walked around holding hands and stuff, it wasn’t a big deal. Later we went outside to get some air, and …” Nikki paused and sighed.

“What happened?” I asked, hungry for details. I imagined my sweet wife holding hands with Brandon like they were a couple, slow dancing with him, wearing the lingerie I bought for her underneath a sexy dress. It made my heart race. As she continued, I became dizzy with jealousy. Yet, I was extremely turned on.

“We went for a walk, and we were holding hands, which I kind of felt bad about. We were alone and . . He kind of put his arms around me and we … We kissed.”

“Like a peck kiss or a make out kiss?” I asked.

“More like a make out kiss,” She answered hesitantly. “It just kind of happened,” she added.

A thousand questions raced through my mind. “Was he a good kisser?” Was all I could manage to ask, unsure of whether I really wanted to know.

“I mean, yeah, he’s a good kisser… . Are you sure you’re ok with this, Mike?”  Nikki asked.

“It’s so strange, I’m really jealous right now, but it’s actually kind of turning me on.”

Nikki giggled nervously. “Really?”

“Yes!” I said. I could tell by the guilty look on her face there as more. “There’s more, isn’t there,” I asked testing the waters, not really thinking there would be more, so I was stunned when Nikki nodded.

Nodding, Nikki said softly, “Yeah, there’s more.” She sighed. “They put us in the same room.” Nikki looked at me to let that sink in.

I suddenly realized this may have gone beyond kissing.

“Did you …  spend the night in his room?” I asked.

Nikki nodded reluctantly."I kind of didn’t have a choice. It was late and there weren’t any other rooms available.”

Of course I wondered why she couldn’t stay with one of the other girls or one of the other couples. But I didn’t ask.

“Did you do more than kiss?”

Again, Nikki reluctantly nodded.

I suddenly felt lightheaded, like I was having an out-of-body experience. My mouth became terribly dry. “Did you sleep with Brandon?” I heard myself ask.

Nikki hesitated. I reiterated to her I was ok with this.

"I kept thinking about what you said you wanted … how it turns you on, the idea of me with another guy… . You said it was your fantasy,” she explained.

I sat there silent.

Nikki paused, but realized she wasn’t getting out of answering the question. “What if I did?“ She asked sweetly.

"I’d be ok with it. Again, as long as you’re honest… . Did you sleep with Brandon?”

Nikki looked down and sighed. She didn’t answer right away. Then she nodded slowly. “Yes,” she said almost inaudibly.

My head was spinning out of control.

"Are you upset?” She asked.

I somehow gathered my wits, recovering slightly from the initial shock, yet I was still in disbelief. I felt like I was in a hazy dream. "I’m not upset. I just … I just can’t believe this is happening.”

"It is what you wanted … isn’t it?” She asked hopeful I would agree.

“Yes, it’s what I wanted. I’m jealous, even a little hurt, but I’m so turned on. It’s crazy.”

Nikki looked visibly relieved. “Are you sure?”

I nodded.

“This really turns you on?”

I nodded again.

“You are seriously the best husband. And you know I love you and would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship.”

“I know. I just have a lot of questions going through my mind.”  

I had been unconsciously rubbing myself and Nikki noticed with a giggle. “You’re so cute… . you can ask me anything.”

“Can you tell me about it? What was it like?”

“I mean, it was sex …”

“Annnnd?” I said, expecting more.

“What, you want details?” She asked sarcastically.

“Yes,“ I said.

“Seriously?” She said.

“Yes, but you have to tell me the truth, no matter what.” I said.

"Even if it upsets you?” She asked, still skeptical of my reaction.

“Absolutely.”

“Are you sure you can handle that?” She asked, smiling teasingly.

“Definitely.”

“Ok,” she said reluctantly, "Just be careful what you ask me … . What do you want to know?

“Well, did you use a condom?”

“Of course. You know I hate condoms, but yes, I made him wear one.”

I paused, trying to decide which questions to ask.

“So was it good?” I said, not knowing what else to say.

“Well, it was sex, so yeah, I guess it was good,” she said.

“Was it better than with me?”

“Aww, sweetie, don’t ask me that,” Nikki pleaded, putting her hands in her face with embarrassment. “Seriously ….” she said pausing.

Then, realizing I really wanted to know, she said, “Trust me, you don’t want me to answer that.”

“No, I do. I promise it’s ok. You can tell me, I want to know.” I encouraged her.

She looked up. “I don’t know if I’d say better…  it was definitely different.”

“How was it different?” I asked.

“Well, I mean, it was different because it wasn’t with you, so it was different in a lot of ways. Since we’ve been married I’ve only been with you , so maybe it was better with Brandon because it was  someone else, and not you. You know what I mean?”

“I promise, babe, I can handle the truth. This was my fantasy, remember?”

“You really want me to tell you?” she asked.

"Yes,” I said.

Almost immediately Nikki nodded with certainty, “Yes, it was better than with you, okay?“ Nikki said bluntly.

She looked at me as if testing the waters, and then added, "I honestly didn’t expect it to be that good… . but it was pretty amazing, actually … I’m sorry sweetie.” She said sympathetically.

“No it’s okay,” I choked out, trying to maintain my composure despite my heart racing.

I sensed she was testing the waters to see how honest and blunt she could be with me.

“Is he …. bigger than me?” I asked.

Nikki laughed. “Is that all you guys think about?“

I shrugged. “I was just wondering ….”

Realizing I really wanted to know, she answered, "Well if you really want to know … yeah, he’s pretty big.”

My face must have turned instantly red. All I could manage to say was, “Really?”

"Well, I mean I didn’t measure it,” She said. “but he’s definitely bigger than you. Not just longer …. he’s actually really thick, too. I couldn’t even fit my hand around it.”

Nikki noticed I was a little stunned and didn’t know what to say. “Don’t feel bad, it was just sex.”

“Yeah, but now you’ll probably always be comparing … in your mind,” I said.

“He wasn’t the first big dick I’ve had,” she said as if to make me feel better. “I mean, he was definitely the biggest, but it’s not just his size …..”

She paused and looked at me and could tell I wasn’t buying it.

“Even if you were bigger,” she said, “it’s hard to explain … when a guy gets hard …. like REALLY hard …. and you know it’s because of you…. it makes me feel so good knowing it was me who did that to him.”

I nodded silently, waiting for more.

“Plus, he cums really hard, which feels good.”

“I thought you said you made him wear a condom?” I said.

“I did. But you can still tell. He filled up like this much of the condom,” she said parting her fingers about 3 inches, which I’m sure was an exaggeration.

Nikki noticed me squirm.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” she said almost to console me. “Some guys just don’t cum as much …. it’s not your fault. It’s just different, you know what I mean?”

I nodded.

“What else do you want to know?” Nikki asked.  

I gulped, unsure of what to say but wanting to say something so I wouldn’t appear flustered.

Nikki giggled. “You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed. I’m so happy you are ok with all of this. I was so nervous about telling you.“

“It’s ok. I’m just not used to hearing you talk like this … I’m so jealous, but  it turns me on.”

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely,” I said.

“So …  if I told you that wasn’t the only time it happened, you’d be ok with it?”

“Are you serious?” I said sounding more excited than nervous.

“Are you upset?”

“No, not at all. I just want you to be honest. So …. it’s been ongoing?” I asked.

Nikki nodded, far more relaxed now that she saw I was ok with everything. And now that Nikki knew I was truly turned on, she began to tease me, and push my buttons.

“Are you serious right now?” I asked in disbelief.

Nikki nodded emphatically. “Yes… You know I wouldn’t lie to you, especially since I promised to be honest … Yes, I’m totally serious. We both thought it would be just that once, but then it happened again the next night when he dropped me off at our house. I kept telling myself that it was your fantasy so maybe it was ok… . so …” she paused.

“So?” I offered.

“So it’s actually been going on … for over a month now. I was going to tell you sooner, but you’ve been so busy.”

"So more than twice?” I asked.

“Uhmmmmm, yeah, for sure more than twice.” She said.

“Like, how many times?” I asked.

“How many times have we actually done it? I don’t know. I didn’t count … but pretty often.”

“What, like, every day?”

"I mean ….. Probably,” She said a little embarrassed. "Maybe more.”

“Do you stay at his place?”

“Sometimes ….. And sometimes he stays here,” she said. A picture of Nikki cuddling with another guy in our bed flashed in my mind. “We’ve been going to the gym together, and afterward he comes over here. Sometimes we go out.”

“In our bed?” I asked.

“Well where else would we go?” She asked.

“So … it sounds like more than fucking. Seems like you’re spending a lot of time together.”

Nikki bit her lip and nodded slightly.  

“I mean, it almost sounds like you’re dating.”

“I mean …. I wouldn’t say that. We haven’t put labels on anything. But we do go do other stuff, it’s not just sex.”

“What does he think?“

"I mean I’m sure he’d like me to be his girlfriend, but he knows we’re married and that I would never do that without talking to you first.”

“Is that what you’d want? To be his girlfriend? If I said I was okay with that?”

“I mean, I admit, it would kind of be nice to be with someone while you’re gone. Someone to talk to, hang out with, and ….”

“And have sex with.”

“Well yeah …. but without feeling guilty about it or feeling like I have to get your permission …. Plus it is your fantasy, so I’d be kind of doing it for you, too.”

I tried to quickly ponder the potential implication of such a decision.

“Sweetie?” Nikki said softly, interrupting my thought.

“Yeah?”

“Are you giving me permission?” She asked sweetly.

“I am giving you permission to do whatever you are comfortable with. As long as you don’t leave me or anything. I support your decision.”

“Oh my God, I would never leave you! You are the love of my life. This is just something we’ve added to our relationship that will make it even stronger.”

“I hope so. Because I love you.”

Nikki smiled. “You are the best… . I love you so much, Mike.”

“So are you seeing him tonight?” I asked.

Nikki smiled. “Yes … is that okay?”

“You don’t have to ask my permission,” I said.

Nikki looked like an excited school girl who just got permission to have a serious boyfriend.

“I can’t wait to tell him… I’m his girlfriend. …. That sounds so strange to say that …. Is it weird for you? To hear me say that? That your wife has a boyfriend?”

I nodded. "I’m jealous, which totally drives me wild … in a good way.”

“Good .” She said, “Me too.  I kind of like knowing it makes you jealous. It just means that you love me. And you’re so cute when you’re embarrassed. Your face turns all red and you get all flustered,” she giggled.

"What are you two going to do?” I asked.

“We’re going to dinner and then dancing… . then probably back here for a bit.”

“To our place?” I asked.

Nikki nodded, “Yes.”

"Are you wearing that little outfit for him, then?” I asked referring to her bra and panties.

Nikki blushed and smiled. “Do you like it?”

"That’s so hot,” I said.

Just then Nikki got a text. She read it and then said, “Can I call you later?”

“Sure. I want to hear all about it… . and maybe even watch sometime.”

Nikki giggled. “Would you really want to watch?”

“For sure,” I said.

“Oh my God … I don’t know if I could do that with you watching…. I’d be too nervous.”

“The thought of it really turns me on,” I said.

“So … would you just watch, or would you …. like … masturbate or something?” She asked.

“I don’t know,” I said, a bit embarrassed. “Is that stupid?”

“No,” Nikki said. “To be honest, It actually sounds kind of hot. I’m just trying to imagine you sitting there just watching …. while I have sex with your best friend ….. wouldn’t that be kind of humiliating or something?”

“I mean ….. yeah, kind of.”

“But it would still turn you on?” She asked.

“I think so …. I know it sounds weird.”

Nikki paused a moment and then said, “I’d have to think about it.”

I was honestly surprised she seemed to be open to the idea. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but my heart was racing at the possibility.  

Nothing would prepare me for the next time we Skyped.

To be continued.

[katwriting]

Fic: A little warlock TLC

Prompt fill for a prompt I got on AO3 about a week ago:

“  If I may I would like to leave a prompt with you. Something like a sick/injured Alec and an attentive/caring Magnus! If you can't or won't that's perfectly fine, just needing a lift me up with our boys. Thanks!!!“

So, here you go - 3.5 k words of sick Alec, caring Magnus and tons of fluff. You have been warned, now enjoy reading :)

Word count: 3491 | Read on AO3

Dating a shadowhunter was not something Magnus Bane would recommend. At least that was what he said whenever one of his friends – whether shadowhunter or downworlder – asked him. Endless patrols, risky missions and countless work shifts that either started or ended in the middle of the night. Not something to really look forward to – at least as far as relationships with shadowhunters in general were concerned.

However, dating Alexander Lightwood was most definitely one of the best decisions Magnus had ever made – for so many reasons. But most definitely also for the fact that he was the only one who got to witness what an absolutely adorable grump the Head of the New York Institute could be before his first coffee of the day.

This morning was no exception. Magnus had to hide his smirk behind his teacup when he heard the bedroom door open, turned around and saw his boyfriend pad towards the kitchen. Alec was not even trying to hide that he was barely awake yet – his face scrunched up adorably as he tried to get used to the bright light, one hand held up in front of his eyes to keep the sunlight away.

“Morning”, he grumbled when he brushed past Magnus, on his way to the coffee machine.

Magnus chuckled as he watched the shadowhunter work on his first mission of the day – getting some caffeine into his system as soon as possible. “Good morning to you as well, Alexander. What are you doing up already?”

Today Alec was supposed to have one of his rare days off, and on those occasions he usually liked to sleep in. However, when Alec didn’t reply immediately and Magnus realized the tiniest hint of guilt in his sleepy eyes, Magnus knew that there was something up. Actually, he was already pretty certain of what that something was.

Alec sighed, put his mug back onto the counter and walked over to Magus, wrapping his arms around the warlock’s waist as soon as he was close enough. “The Inquisitor called for an impromptu video conference with the new Consul and a couple of other Institute leaders. I fear I can’t miss that if my job means anything to me. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, Alexander. I have an awfully long list of appointments today anyways. It’s just you I’m worried about.” He raised his hand to Alec’s neck and ran his thumb over where Alec’s pale skin met the dark color of his deflect rune.

“This was supposed to be your first day off in weeks. You have barely taken a moment to yourself recently. You need to take better care of yourself. I’m not always around to make sure you get what you need.”

There was a wicked spark in Magnus’ eyes and a sly grin pulling at his mouth when he said those last words, and Alec rolled his eyes, but smiled back nonetheless.

“I know. And I’m trying, it’s just…a lot recently. Next week doesn’t seem so busy, though, maybe I can sneak in a free day then and we can do something together – maybe another day trip? I’m sure there’s a couple of corners in London or Paris or Prague you haven’t yet shown me.”

“Damn right there are”, Magnus agreed and leaned up to softly kiss the shadowhunter. Alec hummed against Magnus’s lips and the warlock’s lips and pouted when he pulled away. “Breakfast?”

Magnus smiled. “Breakfast.”

+++

“I’m going to be back around six, I think. Maybe a bit earlier if I’m lucky. When’s your last appointment done?”, Alec called out from the bathroom when they were done with breakfast.

Magnus tried to recall his schedule for the day while he put their mugs into the dishwasher. When he remembered how packed it was, he sighed. “Around the same time, I suppose. Don’t remind me of how many appointments I have today.”

Alec walked out of the bedroom, pulling a sweater over one of his countless black t-shirts, sporting that lopsided smile which always made Magnus weak at the knees. “Sorry. Dinner tonight? That new Italian place around the corner seems nice. I think they even deliver.”

“Sounds good.” Magnus turned around and tilted his head up to receive a quick good-bye kiss from his boyfriend and then watched him walk towards the door. He frowned when he saw the shadowhunter walk straight past the couple of wardrobe hooks on the wall in the hallway without even sparing a glance at his jacket.

“Alec? Don’t you want to take your jacket with you?”

The shadowhunter turned around, frowning and looked past Magnus through the windows into the city. It was still sunny outside, but the sky was getting cloudier by the minute.

“No, I don’t think it will rain. Besides, I’ll be in the office all day anyways. And if it really does rain, I know just the guy who can portal me home without getting a single drop of rain onto my clothes.”

Magnus grinned at the reference and shooed Alec out the door. “Get going, you adorable shadowhunter, you. Get to the Institute before I lock you up in here and don’t let you leave all day.”

Alec laughed happily. “Doesn’t sound so bad to me. See you tonight then. I love you!”

“Love you too”, Magnus called out as Alec pulled the door closed behind him and then smiled to himself.

Sometimes he really felt the urge to pat himself on the shoulder for crashing Alec’s wedding all those months ago.  

+++

A few hours later, however, he was on the verge of painfully regretting that decision. More precisely at the moment when a soaking wet Alec knocked at the door of the loft a couple minutes after 6 pm. It had been raining all afternoon, but for the past half hour or so, it had been pouring down as if the weather god wanted to drown entire New York. It was one of those days that Magnus was very grateful good old Henry Branwell and him had started fantasizing about alternative ways of transport after one too many martinis all those years ago. He had gotten home from his final appointment of the day without getting a single thread of his expensive coat wet.

Unfortunately, Alec had not been so lucky, judging from how absolutely miserable he looked standing in front of Magus’ apartment door, his drenched clothes sticking to his body and a couple of soaking wet strands of black hair hanging into his face.

When Magnus had recovered from the worst of his astonishment, he quickly pulled Alec into the apartment and then looked at him one more time from head to feet, hardly able to suppress a smirk. Alec looked just too adorable, like a wet cat who absolutely hated the water.

Catching the warlock’s amused look, Alec sighed. “Spontaneous demon hunting mission. Don’t ask.”

Running his hand over his goatee in a not very successful approach to hide his smirk, Magnus chuckled. “I’m going to ask. What on earth happened?”

He watched amusedly as Alec grabbed the seams of his sweater and tried to pull it over his head, without much success, since the soaking wet fabric was clinging to his body. “Long story short”, Alec explained while his head and arms were still caught in the fabric, “Jace had to go on a mission, Izzy wasn’t home, Clary is sick and I didn’t have anything to do that was important enough for him to accept a no. Couple of shax demons at Brooklyn Bridge, took us longer than we expected, and we got caught in the rain. Now, if you would please help me out of this goddamn sweater before I lose my mind, I would be forever grateful.”

With a giggle, Magnus snapped his fingers once and disposed of the sweatshirt. He walked up to Alec and ran a hand over the cold skin of his face, healing a scratch on his cheek and what he could already feel was going to be a nasty bruise in the process. Alec’s skin was chilly against his fingers. “You should get a shower, Alexander. You’re freezing.”

“Yeah, just give me a second, I need to fix my bow first and there’s something wrong with the strap of my quiver. If you just – “

Alec did not get a chance to finish his sentence, Magnus took care of both of those problems with a flick of his wrist. “There, all good. Now, shower and dry clothes, I don’t want you to be sick tomorrow.”

“Aye, sergeant”, the shadowhunter joked, but with one more telling look from Magnus did as he was asked. He made his way toward the bathroom, hopping on one foot while he was pulling off his sock off the other. “By the way, I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m a shadowhunter. We do stuff like this all the time. I won’t get sick.”

+++

Alec did get sick.

Magnus noticed it right that night, when he was woken up by Alec snoring. And this time, it was not the soft, adorable little snores he’d long gotten used to, but a mix of what sounded like the last couple of breaths of a dying whale and a dozen of jigsaws working their way through a rainforest.

With a deep sigh, Magnus snapped his fingers and made his phone and headphones appear next to him on the mattress, plucking them in and flicking through his playlists to the one that always helped him relax and wind down after a long day – soft classical music seemed to be just the right thing to drown out the noise next to him.

Next thing Magnus knew, he was woken up by the obtrusive beeping of Alec’s alarm and the feeling of Alec shifting beneath him. He cracked open his eyes just as Alec turned around to switch off the alarm. When the obnoxious noise finally stopped, the shadowhunter fell heavily back into his pillows, groaning. Magnus felt worry creep up in his chest as he watched how Alec pressed his eyes together and pressed a hand against his forehead.

“Morning”, Alec croaked out, his voice raspy as if he’d smoke 40 packs of cigarettes every day.

“Good morning”, Magnus replied, turning onto his side and looking worriedly at the shadowhunter. “How are you feeling?”

All he got for an answer was another muffled groan, since his boyfriend had now decided to pull the blanket over his head and hide underneath it.

Magnus chuckled and pulled the blanket away, taking in Alec’s tired features that were even paler than usual, making him look like a ghost. “I take it you didn’t sleep so well, then? Which is odd, because judging from how you snored last night, you should be more well-rested than ever.”

“How often do I have to tell you; I do not snore.”

“Oh, last night tells a different story, my dear. I should have recorded it, for future purposes. Who knows what I may have needed that tape for.”

Alec was shaken by a couple of nasty coughs. “I am not talking to you ever again.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow, sending Alec his most unimpressed glare. “Darling, I highly doubt your voice would last that long anyways.” He reached out and rested the back of his hand on Alec’s forehead for a few seconds, checking his temperature. But Alec pulled away, pushing the covers back and attempting to sit up and get out of bed.

“I need to get to the Institute.”

Magnus shook his head firmly and pulled Alec back onto the mattress. “No way. You are not going anywhere today. Sorry to break it to you, Alexander, but you look like death and – “ He reached out one more time to feel Alec’s temperature, just to be sure, “yup, and you have a fever. You’re staying in bed today.”

Alec shook his head, wincing when the movement caused his headache to get worse. “I can’t. I have an Institute to run, Magnus, there’s- “

Magnus didn’t let him finish his sentence. “Just call Jace or Isabelle and tell them you’re sick. They will manage. The Institute has survived hundreds of years of the world ending, it won’t burn to the ground just because you’re calling in sick for a couple of days.”

“One day.”

“However long it takes you to recover”, Magnus corrected lightly, but with a tone in his voice that didn’t allow being disagreed with.  He liked people who knew what they wanted, but sometimes Alec’s stubbornness could drive him mad. Especially when he was being too proud to accept that even the strongest shadowhunters needed a day off from time to time.  He then pulled the covers back over Alec and smiled softly at his boyfriend.

“Tell you what. If you take the day off, I will as well. We can stay in bed all day, cuddle as much as you want to, and I can cook us some chicken noodle soup if you’re hungry later. Sound good?”

Alec looked at Magnus for a couple more moments, but then surrendered and cuddled into the blankets and Magnus’ open arms. He yawned and then closed his eyes, resting his head on Magnus’ chest. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”

+++

Alec was asleep in no time, which gave Magnus the chance to start on clearing his schedule for the day.  He had a few calls to make and appointments to cancel. Smiling at the fast-asleep shadowhunter next to him, he readjusted the blankets around Alec, so he wouldn’t be cold, dropped a kiss onto his messy dark hair and then got out of bed.  

His usual cup of tea in hand, he sat onto the couch and scrolled through his phone, checking the texts and e-mails he had received over night from clients all over the world. Luckily, he didn’t have all too many appointments that day, and none of them were so pressing that they couldn’t be postponed to a later date. He set to work, getting the most urgent calls out of the way, cancelling appointments and making new ones, answering e-mails and taking up orders for potions.

With Alec being asleep and Magnus caught up in his work, the warlock didn’t realize how fast the time passed. It was already noon when he took a break and was just about to check on Alec, when he already heard him coughing in the bedroom. Magnus cleared up the coffee table, then conjured up two fresh mugs of tea and made his way toward the bedroom. Alec was just calming down from the cough attack and was settling back into the pillows, but held himself up on his elbows when he saw Magnus come in.

“Hey handsome”, Magnus smiled and with a snap of his fingers got rid of the mountain of tissues scattered all over and around Alec’s side of the bed. “Brought you something.” He placed Alec’s mug on the nightstand and then took a sip of his own tea. “How are you feeling?”

“Not like I’m dying anymore? So I guess better. Still not too good, though.” Alec reached for the teacup and took a sip, then looked up at Magnus confusedly as he didn’t recognize the sort of tea. “That one’s new.”

Magnus just shrugged and sat down on the bed. “I got a couple new flavors last week. This one’s Ginger-Mint, it’s supposed to help with colds. Do you like it?”

Alec nodded. “It’s good. A bit sweet maybe, but that’s fine.”

“That’s because I may or may not have put a ton of honey in there, so your voice gets better.”

Alec smiled gently at Magnus and reached out so he could take Magnus’ hand. Magnus put his own mug onto the nightstand and then reached over to feel Alec’s temperature again, brushing a stray strand of hair aside in the process. The shadowhunter’s skin was still warmer than it was supposed to be, but had cooled down a bit. “The fever’s gone down a bit. You’re still not free to leave this apartment, though.”

The shadowhunter just sighed. “As if I would ever dare, High Warlock. Thank you for taking care of me” His gaze then got soft. “I would really like to kiss you right now. But I don’t want you to get sick too.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m an expert in healing magic”, Magnus muttered and then leaned in to softly brush his lips against the shadowhunter’s. “Besides”, he mumbled against Alec’s lips before he pulled him in for a real kiss, “I don’t really care.”

+++

Alec stayed in bed all day, sleeping most of the time. It was already late afternoon and Magnus was in the living room again, updating his list ingredients he needed to get for the potion orders from earlier that day, when the bedroom door opened and Alec shuffled out.

Magnus covered his mouth with his hand to hide his amused grin when he took in his boyfriend’s appearance. Alec was still awfully pale, even though a bit of color had come back to his cheeks, his eyes were glassy and his nose red. And he had the big, fluffy comforter from their bed wrapped around his shoulders like a cape. He made his way over to the couch, dropped down in his usual spot in the corner and cuddled into the pillows.

The sight was so adorable that Magnus finished up what he was doing and dropped onto the couch next to Alec, and let the blanket burrito that was his boyfriend lean into him. “Hey”, he mumbled, softly pecking Alec’s cheek. “I take it you’re feeling well enough to get out of bed? That’s good.”

“Yeah, I think I’ve slept enough for today”, Alec replied, voice still thick with sleep. “Also, I wanted to be with you, not all on my own in the bedroom.”

Magnus’ heart fluttered with how adorable that sentence was. “Well, if I cuddle with you on the couch or in bed doesn’t really matter, I suppose.”

Alec just hummed in approval and shifted closer to Magnus, letting his head rest against the warlock’s chest and putting his arm over his stomach. Magnus could barely keep himself from melting at how absolutely adorable he found that sight, instead reached for the remote and switched on the TV. “Do you mind if I turn on a movie?”

Alec just shrugged. “I don’t care. I can’t watch it anyways; the bright light makes my head hurt even worse.”

Magnus frowned, looking down at his boyfriend. “Still? Why didn’t you say something, I could have helped you!” He lowered his voice when he realized how Alec cringed at the noise. “I’m sorry, darling. Do you want me to help you with the pain?”

Alec looked up at him with tired hazel eyes and nodded. “Yeah. That would be great.”

Magnus hummed and then raised his hand to Alec’s head, running it through his disheveled hair. He closed his eyes for a second to focus and then let light blue waves of magic flow out of his hand, running his hand over Alec’s head, over his temples and forehead, letting the energy linger where he felt the worst of the pain. He kept tracing his hands down the side of Alec’s face, over his neck and down to his shoulders and then back up again, feeling the shadowhunter relax more and more under his touch.

Alec sighed and leaned into his touch, eyes closed. “That feels so good.”

Magnus smiled at him and let the last traces of his magic run out over Alec’s temples, then moved his hand to Alec’s neck. “Do you feel better now?”

He was rewarded with a soft kiss. “Yeah, a lot. Thank you. I’ll remember this for next time I’m sick.”

Magnus let out an unimpressed laugh. “Next time you’ll just take a jacket with you when I tell you to, and you won’t get sick at all. How does that sound, huh?”

Rolling his eyes, Alec straightened up and then settled back into the cushions, unwrapping the blanket and putting it over both of their feet. He then and put one arm around Magnus’ shoulders to pull him close. “I’m not going to comment on that.”

Magnus didn’t either. He just smiled to himself and settled into Alec’s embrace, letting his thoughts drift off and let himself be entertained by the cheap romantic comedy on TV.

Maybe dating a shadowhunter wasn’t a thing he would recommend in general. Maybe Alec’s job sucked, his working hours were a nightmare and he risked getting hurt more often than not. Maybe he was still a bit mad because his shadowhunter had been so carelessly risking getting sick. But when said shadowhunter turned into a cuddly, attention seeking koala when he was sick – who was Magnus to complain?

It wasn’t like he had a problem with it anyways.

[matthewxdavidson]

May I Have This Dance?

Tagging: Matthew Davidson & Mercedes Jones

When: May 18, 2019

Where: Castle Isla in Linlithgow, Scotland

Notes: They share a dance and spend quiet time together in private during Alex and Chloe’s wedding reception.

Matt

Matt been away from everyone for some days, finding solace or something close to it at the cabin he rented with Steve some time back. Now, amongst people again in a place he didn’t expect to see, Matt drank wine and ate food off a plate while he chatted with random people. He didn’t know everyone here but he’d been laughing and having a good time, which attracted people to him. For the most part he seemed like his old self, but there were moments; especially when words were shared about Ellie’s passing, that made it tough. But now he wanted to do his best and enjoy life. And that second glass of wine he just finished definitely help. “Well goddam.” He said as he went up to Mercedes, grinning handsomely. “Hard to keep my eyes off you with a dress like that. You look fucking fantastic.”

Mercy

Being away from Lima, was just what she needed. Scotland was beautiful and she was enjoying everything about this trip. Faith looked like a little Princess and Chloe and Alex looked like they belonged together. The wedding was amazing. beautiful and perfect and now at the reception, Mercedes was just enjoying being among her family and friends. She had just finished dancing with Jackson when she walked over to grab a glass of wine. Hearing someone speak to her she smiled softly seeing Matt. She hadn't spoken to him since he left her hospital room, so she didn't know how he was doing. He seemed okay. His comment made her shake her head. "Compared to the bride I look like a hag."

Matt

“Nope. You don’t. That lady over there.” He said as he leaned in close, almost as if they were conspiring something. “The one with that feather in her hair. I mean. Come on. She has evil stepmother written all over her. That’s more of the hag. I think you look hot. Could also be because I can’t stop thinking about things.” He leaned away and returned his attention to his wine. “How you doing since I last saw you? I saw Jackson’s back to cutting a rug or whatever it is kids do these days.”

Mercy 

When he leaned into her she bust out laughing, shaking her head at his comment. "Oh God stop! She has a resting evil face for sure but still be nice." she said.  "What can't you stop thinking about?" She asked watching him retreat from her. Placing her hair behind her ears she shrugged. "Nothing much, Jack moved in for a few days so I could help him out. Living with him and three dogs, very intersted I won't lie." she said with a sigh. "And yeah hes a good dancer it was fun. How are you doing?"

Matt

“Come on. Really? You must have some idea when it comes to the way my always in the gutter to the point I might as well live with the Ninja Turtles mind works, Mercedes.” Matt pulled something off a passing platter, not sure what it is, and ate it. “How was it like having a full house and playing husband and wife those days?” He sipped and went for another bite. “Eh. Feels good to be around people again. I thought I was going to turn into Tom Hanks in Castaway if I stayed in that cabin an extra day.”

Mercy 

Mercedes shook her head. "So which one of your loves were you fantasizing about since your mind was in the gutter?" She asked. She feared that once he got over Ellie's passing he would go back to sleeping with everything that smiled at him. "It was interesting. I mean I love his dogs. They are so much fun and he really is stubborn but he also let go a little. I dunno still figuring things out." She glanced at him and his outfit. "Well I mean at least you came here very presentable. I am loving the kilt, it suits you."

Matt

Matt eyed her and shook his head slowly before adding, “Guess that’s something I’ll keep to myself.” He thought it was obvious but he knew better than getting right into it in the middle of the reception. “That’s saying something right there. Maybe there’s hope for you and him once you tie the knot.” Matt wanted to sound optimistic but it came out tired instead, thinking about how El told him all of these arrangements are a joke. “Figured when in Scotland. Got a whole new appreciation for women wearing dresses. You feel pretty good in them. But I have to be careful with bending over. I’m pretty sure people want to take a peek.”

Mercy 

Mercedes raised an eyebrow. "Soo you do have your eyes on someone?" She didn't mean to sound jealous or upset, she knew his feelings were far gone but she couldn't help herself. Downing her wine she shrugged. "Who knows right?" She wanted to sound optimistic, but the unknown of everything it hurt her soul. She bent down looking at his legs. "I mean give the world a show, everyone would appreciative of it." A slow song came on and she held out her hand. "Come dance with me, show off those legs."

Matt

“Jesus Christ, woman. I was talking about you.” He said as he moved closer to her. “I know you keep speaking to me about my feelings and how I feel about you and how I felt that Ellie was the love of my life. I’m not even sure why you so this. If it’s some means to protect yourself after what happened earlier this year. And I’m going to say this again, I loved her. I’m not denying that. But I wasn’t in love with her. But...” he looked at Jackson and sighed as he eventually looked back at her, “I’m not good enough. Not compared to him and I know he can give you something I’m not able to.” After they spoke he laughed. “Do you still want to dance with me after all of that?”

Mercy 

Her hand dropped as he spoke, she didn't want to hear this, not from him. She shook her head walking away from him. "Stop." She said looking at him. "Just." Why was he doing this? "No, nope." She said shaking her head and walked out the reception hall needing to get away from the happy and dancing, needing to breathe. But the place was so big she could easily get lost. He loved Ellie and not her, that was what she told herself to deal, that is what helped her try and let go and this, no she couldn't let it get to her and yet it did. Matt did. He always did.

Matt

Matt, who thoughts she might say something or tell him that he was wrong watched as she hauled ass away. “Fucking hell. Guess she does want that dance now.” He was tipsy and feeling....he wasn’t sure what he was feeling. But he knew he needed to catch up to her somehow because this was just how things went when it came to their relationship. Matt set the glass down next to hers and went in the same direction. He didn’t know where he was exactly but the music wasn’t as loud and he had to act a bloodhound pretty much with trying to pick up the perfume she usually wore. He figured she might have gone up or down some stairs but found her on the other side of the castle where there weren’t too many people around. “Come on, Merce.” He said slowly as he approached her. “Nothing I said then is new information. And it’s not like we can do anything about it. We have the next five years of our lives mapped out by the HC.”

Mercy 

It was easier, not having someone in love with her, not having someone share her feelings it was easier to be focused on Jackson. Yes when he told her he moved on she was devastated but it was easier and now, now she felt like second best. Ellie isn't here so lets go back to Mercedes. When Matt found her she turned to him, she may have had tears in her eyes but she was more angry than anything. "Nothing is new? Its the same cycle Matt. You tell me you love me you want to be with me. I asked you to marry me and you, you told me no. Then we get together but then we stop being together. Then you tell me that you and Ellie want to be together that you love her and want her. and I let go. I let go of the thought of me and you. And then, then you sit there and say you guys weren't together but I saw you!" She wiped her eyes, thankful for her water proof mascara. "Now that she's not here you want to say you love me? I wasn't good enough for you then and I am not now. How am I supposed to believe you actually want me? And you just aren't mourning?"

Matt

This is the scene he wanted to avoid and if it wasn’t for the music then people definitely would have heard it. “I never said no to your proposal because I don’t love you. You keep bringing that up but it’s because we are tied to these damn arrangements. When I got with Ellie it was....” No. she was only gone for two weeks and he didn’t want yo say what had been on his mind every since it happened. “It was because I thought I was doing she right thing. I thought there must be something about Jackson that he can give you that stability and not be all kinds of fucked in the head that I am.” He didn’t move closer to her but he did keep his eyes locked with hers. “Even before El died. Long before she died. I told you this. I’ve told you all of this but you keep acting like I’ve never said a word about it.”

Mercy 

She didn't say anything, she tuned him out on purpose when he said he loved her before because it was hard to trust he wouldn't hurt her again. Excuses, lies and pain, that is what was associated with Matt and love and yet, she still loved him. Still thought about him and a part of her wanted to move over to him and kiss him, hold him and beg him to stay with her, but she couldn't because that would just complicate things, that would confuse things and she didn't want to hurt him or herself. "Matt." was all she could say. She couldn't really say anything else because the next words out her mouth threatened to be how much she missed him and loved him.

Matt

“I know things with us are fucked up because of everything that’s happened. That I do things without thinking through and maybe we couldn’t avoid the complications because of where we live and who our families are. Which sucks. I wish I could have said yes to your proposal and left this place to never see our family and friends again. Because you know they would have fined us so hard and thrown us in jail as an example.” He did get near her now and lowered his hand to take hers. “But we should see this as our chance to just be completely open with each other. You know all of my fears and worries. You know how I thought about killing myself or my plan to kill that worthless piece of shit that comes out of prison in September. You now know that with everything that’s happened you’re not just my first love but the love of my life. And you know that with all of this I will always want you here with me. If not as my love but as my best friend. Because you are.”

Mercy 

She shook her head as he moved closer to her, he took her hand and she looked down to the ground. He was right he was honest with her and she had to be honest with him. "I think i have always known I loved you, but I saw you with all those people how you slept with them and I turned it off, protected my heart. So I just....just believed we were only friends and what I felt for you was friendship. Then the night of the Carnival when we made love, it was the happiest I have ever felt. Because finally I wasn't able to deny it." She wiped her eyes. "So I asked you to marry me and you said no and I felt like you just said things to make me want you. And so I let it go, let go of wanting you and it was fine until you made me love you harder than I ever thought possible. So when you hurt me again I locked those feelings away again. Because I don't ever want to feel that pain again. I can't feel that pain again. I wanted to die Matt. I left Ohio because I wanted to die, and I invited Jackson because he wouldn't ask questions and I couldn't kill myself."

Matt

His hands went up the sides of her body and he cupped her cheeks. This was the first he’s heard of her wanting to die. Not as an expression but to actually die. Matt looked into her soft brown eyes and leaned in but he didn’t kiss her. Instead his arms went around her body and Matt held her against his. “I’m going to ask you this,” he said, his voice strained but in need to get this question out. “Do you want me to leave you alone? I’ll transfer to another station in one of those cities right outside of Lima and get a place there. I’ll figure things out.”

Mercy 

The truth was out and she couldn't take it back, it was her shame that she didn't want anyone to know. His hands went up her body and she shivered at the feel, remembering how things were between them. His strong arms wrapped around her body and he held her. But she didn't know how to answer his question. Didn't know if he should leave or stay. She pulled back to look up to him. "Lima is your home Matt." was all she could say.

Matt

He shook his head, arms still around her. “It’s your home, too. And it’s easier for me to uproot and move.” His lips pinched a moment and soon he looked down. If times were different he would have started to kiss at all of her skin. “I think I must be the worst thing to have happened to you.” To know he caused her that much grief...how could he not be?

Mercy 

Mercedes closed her eyes, tears falling. "You aren't the worst thing to happen to me Matt. Things were just... when you love someone and they hurt you like that it makes you crazy I guess. But at the end of the day, you are my best friend. And that is important to me. You are important to me."

Matt

In the middle of her words Matt brought his forehead to hers and pressed them together. He didn't speak immediatly. Only stood there and felt their breathing eventually sync after some time. "That day at the grocery store. When I had that panic attack. There was a lot going on with me around that time. A fuckton, really. But a giant part of me falling apart is because all my choices kept hurting you. I've always wanted for you and me to have something like what Alex and Chlo got but- but I ruined that for us. And now I know that anything that happens now will be seen with apprehension and distrust. And that's not what makes for a healthy relationship. And I can apologize until I'm blue in the face and mean it every single time but it doesn't erase what's been done." He stopped speaking pulled just enough to look at her. "But you are the most important person in my life, Mercedes Jones."

Mercy 

Looking in his eyes she knew he was being truthful, but that didn't take away from the fact that she was still hurting and that she was scared. What would admitting her feelings do? She was about to marry Jackson and Matt was supposed to marry Bri. They were supposed to both marry at the same time, divorce and then be together but that seemed so far away from where they were now. "I will always love you Matt, nothing will ever change that." Her eyes stared up to his and she leaned him kissing him softly. "Best friends forever."

Matt

As soon as he felt her feather soft lips against his own Matt returned the kiss and held her closer to him as he brought his hand up and laid it against her neck, knowing not to touch her hair because it looked as if she put a lot of work into it. Matt brought her cheek to rest against his chest and he kissed the side of her head a few times. "Most best friends give each other bracelets or those necklaces. Instead I gave you heartache and torment..." He tried to laugh but it was hard. "Do you still want that dance?"

Mercy 

Mercedes sighed, "You make my life enjoyable thats worth something." she said sighing. She nodded. "Yes I would, but can we dance here I kinda like it being just you and me right now." she said holding out her hand to him.

Matt

At sight of her hand he took it and brought it to his lips, taking that moment to kiss the delicate skin of her wrist. "Admit it," he said as he moved himself into a better position for them to dance to a slow song he barley recognized, some 90s R&B song he hadn't heard in years. "you're too embarrassed by my dance moves. That's why you want to keep me hidden."

Mercy 

He kissed her hand and she shuttered at the action. They started dancing and she shook her head. "No that is the other reason I don't want to share you. The main reason is because I am afraid your skirt is gonna fly up and everyone is gonna see all your bits and pieces." she teased, but truthfully she needed a moment with just him where they could be lost in each other.

Matt

"What makes you think I'm not wearing any underwear?" He moved her around the small area, humming along to the slow jam and enjoying how it was only them. There were other stressors, and maybe there'll always be, but for these next however many minutes they had together, it was just them and the song and their playful banter.

Mercy 

She shook her head. "If you are then I am shocked." she said with a smirk. As the music played, her heart raced. Her feelings that she kept bottled up it just started to bubble over and if she was smart she would leave. But she didn't know how much time they had, didn't know when the next time they would be together was and she wanted to enjoy it. She lifted her head up to his face and leaned into him. "You have gotten better at dancing."

Matt

Matt laughed. It was an honest and much needed one and he shook his head. "You know, I guess I must have done a great job when it comes to making people expect the unexpected with me. But nah, I was good and wore actual underwear. There was a part of me that didn't want to but that was only to moon Blaine later. Since I'm clearly an adult." He grinned and stepped back to spin her but instead of spinning her completely he brought Mercedes' back to his chest and Matt held her there. "Have I? Guess I have and didn't notice."

Mercy 

Mercedes sighed in his arms. "Well what is life without some fun Matt times?" She asked. She laid her head on his chest and sighed. "Full disclosure, I am surprised you aren't wearing just the Kilt and nothing else." She sighed heavily, a part of her wanting to reach up and kiss him, but the other part knowing it wasn't right.

Matt

"Now, you know if I were to do that there'd be an absolute sex riot and as wild as Chloe seems to me, I don't think she wants one of those at their wedding." Matt's mouth ghosted along the crook of her neck and he moved them to the music but it wasn't as much as before as he was distracted now. "But you're more than welcome to think of me in only in kilt whenever you fantasize about me again."(edited)

Mercy 

Mercedes laughed. "Yeah Chlo is small but fierce and she might hurt you if you up stage her." His lips ghosted her neck and she swallowed hard, closing her eyes. "Mmmm I might." she said moving against him even slower, holding him closer.

Matt

Here was that territory they could easily slip into. Both knew they were arranged to people they cared for but to be actually married to? Then there was everything that happened with Ellie and all of his and Mercedes' history and how he'd fucked with her head and heart too much. Matt's hand held hers tighter and he pressed his lips to her skin but didn't actually kiss it. This was hard. Fucking hard. "When do you head back home?" lips moved against her neck before he peeled away from it.

Mercy 

Without even realizing it her head moved tot he side, allowing him better access to her neck, she sighed at his question. "Monday. When do you head back?" She asked lightly.

Matt

"Monday." he answered as his chin settled on her shoulder. The song changed, to a fast paced one, but he didn't move from her or keep from the sway which didn't at all go with this current song. "I didn't take a private jet or anything. Came in coach." Matt didn't have as much money as everyone else he knows and he heard that that he'll be getting money from Ellie's estate but that wasn't anything he intended to keep. "Want to get lunch of dinner with me tomorrow? Go explore some of this place?"

Mercy 

Mercedes nodded. "If you want a better ride home, you can always come with us." She said still rocking with him. "We can, just depends on what time, I wanted to check on Mac, this has got to be hard on him."(edited)

Matt

“Not sure time wise. Guess we’ll see just how bad of a hangover I wake up with.” Matt moved from her but took hold of Mercedes’ hand and brought her to a stone bench. “I’m surprised he showed. Same with Quinn. Do you know if she’s here for emotional support? If she’s capable of providing emotional support? Figured with that big bomb about Marcus and Chloe she’d be too uppity to show.”

Mercy 

Following him to the bench she sighed. "Mac is amazing, he loves Chloe so that means that he will always  do what he feels is right, he knew Chloe wouldn't be able to fully stand up there if he wasn't there. As for Quinn, she may be an ice queen but I have seen the kind side of her, and James said she is a big softy too so maybe she really is trying to support things." She intertwined their hands together. "I guess I should get back to my date and you back to all the men and women wanting to be with you huh?"

Matt

He went ahead and bent down to help get her legs onto his lap. Matt pulled a heel off and started to massage. “Nah. I want to be here and talk about how the Quinn Fabray is a softie. I didn’t think such a thing is possible.” Matt worked his magic on the ball of her foot. “Heard she and James had some alone time in the manor. One of my buddies spotted them climbing out a window.”

Mercy 

Mercedes watched as he massaged her foot and leaned back onto the stone bench. "Mmmm that feels oh so good." she moaned slightly closing her eyes. "Hey she and I may have our differences, but she isn't that bad. As for her and James heard he was a hero and she actually let him save her." She said softly. "Why are you always so good to me, even just rubbing my foot like this?"

Matt

Matt chuckled. “I like that part where she let him. It’s hard to help people who don’t want it. A lot of our trainings with people say not to stick around if someone is being difficult. James should get some type of recognition for handing that and getting them both out.” Matt’s rubbing got more into it and he smiled as he looked at her foot. “Oh, you know. This is just me getting my rocks off. Me and my foot fetish and all.” Me pretended he was about to kiss her foot but stopped. “It’s what I want to do. I like having these nice moments with you. Where it feels almost domestic.”

Mercy 

"It is hard, you have your pride, you have your no how and all you want is to make things better for people. But from what he said, it was crazy, he said she first crawled away from him, thats how she cut her hand. Then she tried to leave again. He said she was stubborn the whole way but she let him do it." She laughed at him. "Well enjoy your foot fetish, but know you just can't hit that spot that causes me some...issues." She sat back on the bench just enjoying their moment together.

@heiressmercyjones​

[asthedayisfading]

at the end of the day [ncisla, densi]

When it hits her, it hits her.

----

It doesn’t truly hit her until twelve days, eighteen hours, and thirty-seven minutes after.

They’re in standstill traffic on the 5, waves of heat rippling up from the blacktop as the sun beats down unforgivingly, turning the SoCal interstate into a blistering, sandless desert. The A/C is working overtime, but despite the cold air hitting her square in the face, Kensi can still feel a few flyaway tendrils of sweat-dampened hair sticking to the back of her neck. It’s a typical day for them - chasing bad guys, playing good cop-bad cop in the boatshed, sharing a box of doughnut holes as they get stuck in LA’s rush hour traffic.

And yet, typical flies out the window when she glances over at him after going exactly one mile over the past hour. It’s in that moment, her gaze studying every feature of him from his unruly hair to the scruff she loves so much; from the tight material of his sleeves over his muscular arms to the lips she suddenly feels desperate to kiss - it’s in that moment when everything suddenly becomes real to her. As her fiancé would say - this is happening.

“We’re getting married,” she says quietly, softly flexing the fingers of her left hand, watching as the sunlight reflects from the diamond on her ring finger, scattering the light into a million shimmering sparkles.

Though his reply is playful, the smile that plays at his lips as he glances over at her is genuine, nothing but love. “Well, you know, that is typically what happens after getting engaged.”

Kensi rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean,” she replies, unable to hide her own smile. “It’s just, even though my mom keeps texting me pictures of dresses and cakes, and your mom is already talking about nursery decor, and Mandy has already put the other girls on an insane diet and workout regimen so they’ll look more like stars than bridesmaids, I guess it just hadn’t quite hit me yet.”

“Do you regret saying yes?”

Her answer is immediate. “No. Not even a little bit.”

Deeks breathes a dramatic sigh of relief. “Good, because if you did? It would mean you’re insane. Who wouldn’t want to marry a catch like me? Sexy, funny, smart, a hero with a tragic past who learns to love again, not to mention an exceptionally good lover - I’m the full package, baby.”

Kensi snorts. “Have you been reading my romance novels again?”

Deeks just grins, a hand over his heart. “I knew it was love when you stopped pretending you didn’t adore them. Now I just need to get you to admit that some of the chapters leave you desperately hot and bothered, fantasizing about what I could do to you…”

“I hate you so much.”

“You couldn’t hate me if you tried.”

“God, I try so hard sometimes.”

Kensi can hear the cocky smirk in his response. “You might try, but you know nobody else is capable of making you scream like I did this morning.”

Her cheeks flood scarlet; try as she might to ignore them, the memories play like a filmstrip in her imagination. Heated kisses, her heart pounding as every breath became a gasp, his body hovering above her, skin upon skin as he refused her pleas to speed up instead slowly pushing her to the precipice and leaving her perched precariously on the edge until the desperation became painful, until she was digging her nails into his strong shoulders, rocking her hips with his, his name falling unhindered from her lips until he granted her what she needed to see stars. God, he was good.

Sometimes she wishes he didn’t know that.

It’s several long minutes before he speaks again, allowing her those moments to slow her heart, to draw herself from the memory that had taken over her. “You know,” he begins, his eyes darting briefly to her hand and the ring that encircles her finger, officially making her his. “Technically, we’ve been engaged since you were in the hospital.”

It had taken some time, but finally Deeks is able to return to those long days and longer nights in his memory.

Sometimes, he even smiles, though back then he was certain he’d never smile again. He’d pled with her endlessly, imploring her to wake up; to wake up and marry him; to wake up and say yes. He’d bargained with every higher power he could possibly think of, any higher power that might’ve deemed his prayers worth listening to despite any and all of his transgressions in the past.

(“She makes me better,” he whispered into the dark late one night, his head bowed, both of his palms safely cocooning her left hand. “Please don’t take her from me.”)

All that time by her side, whispering to deities he was never sure existed had, in the end, paid off. She had woken up. And though it’d been almost a year later, eventually she had said yes. And Deeks had never been happier than he’d been in that moment - so much different than how he’d planned it, yet still nothing less than perfection.

“How do you figure that?” She asks, her soft voice pulling him gently back to the present. “I couldn’t say yes back then.”

Deeks just grins. “You couldn’t say no, either.”

“Ah. Imprisoned into engagement.”

He looks at her over the rim of his sunglasses, a devilish sparkle in his blue eyes. “Baby, if you were imprisoned, I’d have already had you in handcuffs.”

“Not. Happening.”

“Yeah, that’s what you used to say about marrying me too.”

Despite her oh so predictable punch to his shoulder, Deeks can’t help but flash her a smile. “What happened to being bold with me?” he teases.

“I swear, I’m getting out of this car and walking back to Ops.”

“I’d probably still be sitting here in traffic by the time you got there. In fact, if I miss our wedding, you’ll know exactly where to find me, because I’m pretty sure this car is never moving from this spot.” He smirks. “You’ll have to bring the wedding to me - now there’s a novel idea! You in a white dress, walking toward me down the aisle between the northbound and southbound lanes. I know Eric can hack everyone’s radios, making them all play the wedding march simultaneously. Everyone’s headlights on us, everybody honking as the minister who is six cars down pronounces you as Mrs. Deeks before allowing me to kiss my bride… It’s perfect.”

“Oh my God,” Kensi replies, shaking her head. “That’s worse than your idea of having the entire ceremony literally in the Caribbean, everyone riding on the backs of impeccably well-trained dolphins.”

“I can’t take the credit for that one - I got it out of one of your romance novels.”

“What in the world have I gotten myself into?” She sighs, but can’t quite contain the smile at her lips.

By the time traffic begins to move again, Deeks has gone through about fifteen different wedding scenarios, each one somehow more extravagant and insane than the one preceding it and Kensi thinks she’ll be surprised if he doesn’t manage to work at least one of those scenes into their ceremony.

It’s crazy, but she’s sure she’d go along with it, because at the end of the day, any wedding theme, even the most ridiculously absurd, inevitably ends with her marrying her best friend, settling down with him, promising to stand by him always and forever, for better or for worse. At the end of the day, no matter what, he’ll be hers and she’ll be his.

And that’s all she really wants.

[scullys-right-eyebrow-txf]

The Only Choice - Chapter 5

Multi-chapter, between the scenes story that follows Mulder and Scully through the events of All Things to Existence and beyond. It’s just how I wanted to see things go. Mostly canon with a few noted exceptions.

Set: Seasons 7/Season 8

Rating: M - E

Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4

Chapter 5 – Basic Lawn Maintenance

 Light shone into the bedroom windows, waking Mulder from a deep, dreamless sleep. He buried his face in his pillow, and upon realizing that it smelled like her, immediately remembered where he was, causing a sleepy smile to appear on his face. It was quickly replaced, however, by panic as he realized that he was waking without Scully in his arms for the second day in a row. His panic soon abated when he heard the bathroom door open and saw her walk toward the bed, totally naked. He smiled, realizing what a lucky man he was to get to see her like this: beautiful, free, and uninhibited.

 “I’m sorry if I woke you,” she murmured sleepily, crawling back under the covers with him.

 Mulder just hummed in return, too exhausted for words after their long night of love making, and pulled her close. She snuggled into him, entwining her legs with his and cuddling her face into his neck, placing a soft kiss there.

 “Go back to sleep,” she whispered, closing her eyes and sighing softly. He held her even more tightly and did just that.

Two hours later he awoke again but this time she was there. They had moved away from each other slightly in their sleep, but his hand still rested on the tantalizing curve of her hip. Scully’s head had migrated to her own pillow, but to him it was the perfect view. Opening his eyes to see her sleeping face, free of worry and stress, her tousled hair, feeling her slow breaths on his face. This is what he had wanted for so long. Sure, he had fantasized many times about sleeping with her, but just as often he thought about what it would be like to simply wake up next to her. His heart flooded with more emotions than he could sort out. It felt so much better than he had even imagined.

 Mulder closed his eyes for a moment, his thumb tracing small circles on her hip, willing himself not to cry out of sheer relief and happiness. When he had pulled himself together, he opened his eyes to find her own tired eyes looking back at him. She smiled softly and he felt like his heart would explode from happiness.

 “Hi,” she said softly, reaching out to rest her hand on his neck, her fingers playing softly with the hair on his nape.

 “Hi,” he replied, clutching her hip a little more tightly.

 “What are you thinking about so hard over there?” she asked.

 He smiled before replying, “About what a lucky bastard I am. And that I could get used to this.”                

 Scully let out a low, husky laugh that caused his groin to twitch. It astounded him at how easily she could turn him on. Her mere presence was usually enough, but waking with her naked in his bed, well her bed, was nearly torturous. It also didn’t help when he remembered the night before and how he had made her moan and cry out. How he, Fox Mulder, had made Dana Scully scream. He longed to hear it again. He began rubbing her calf with his foot and caressed her side, coming so close to her breast.

 “What do you say we get this morning started off right?” he asked, his lips a whisper away from hers.

 “Oh, no,” she said, pushing at his chest.

 “Why not?” he asked in shock.

 “Mulder, I went from having no sex in years to having a hell of a lot of sex in the past day and a half!”

 “And?” he asked with a grin.

 “And I’m not going to be able to walk straight!” she exclaimed. “I’m sore and thanks to our escapades against the wall last night, I’m pretty bruised too.”

 “Poor little Dana,” he said, rolling her over to see the bruises in question on her back, hips and thighs, some caused by the wall and some by his tight grip on her. “Should I kiss them all better?”

 Scully sighed appreciatively as she felt his lips begin to brush against the dark spots that peppered her pale skin. After thoroughly kissing each bruise on her back, Mulder pulled himself against her, spooning her tightly.

 “Better?” he asked.

 “Hmmm,” she answered, beginning to think that walking straight was overrated.

 “You know what I think we should do this weekend?” he whispered into her ear.

 “What?” she replied.

 “Stay right here, in this bed, the whole weekend.”              

 “Now that’s an idea that I can get behind,” she said, turning to look at him. “But…”

 “No,” he interrupted her, “no buts. Just you, me, and this bed.

 “That sounds amazing, but” she continued, “I promised my mom that I would help her around the house today. She’s hurt her back so I told her I would mow the lawn. I was supposed to do it last Saturday but you had me on a wild goose chase in Arkansas. I can’t put it off again.”

 “First,” he said, pointing his finger at her, “it was not a wild goose chase. Second, I bet you look pretty sexy mowing. I’ll come along and help if you’ll wear a bikini.”

 “You’re ridiculous,” she said with a smile, shoving his shoulder.

 “Ok, how about this, I’ll do the mowing, but you have to wear shorts. I’ve never seen you in shorts. The shorter the better.”

 “Well it is supposed to be hot out today,” she rationalized.

 “That’s my girl,” he said with a laugh, propping his head up on his hand to look down at her.

 “Your girl, huh?” she asked with a smirk, mirroring his position.

 “Yep,” he said, reaching over to kiss her, “my girl.”

 “If anyone else said that to me, I’d punch them in the face. But your face is just too pretty to punch,” she said, running the back of her fingers down his cheek.

 “Who knew you were so sentimental,” Mulder said with a laugh. “What about your mom? Are you going to tell her about us?”

 “God, no,” she replied. “She would immediately start planning the wedding!”

 He grinned and pushed a stray hair out of her face. “So does this mean that she would approve?”

 “Of course. She loves you Mulder. She’s been trying to get me to admit that there was something going on between us for years.”

 “What made her think there was something going on? This isn’t like the office rumors; this is your mother we’re talking about!”

 “Well I think that between my abduction and my cancer, you pretty much showed your hand. And I’ve probably shown mine from time to time as well,” she said.

 “We were idiots for waiting this long,” he said regretfully, running his hand up and down her side.

 “Yeah,” she agreed, “but maybe our timing was always off for a reason.”

 “That’s very philosophical of you,” he remarked.

 “Maybe I’m just trying to make myself feel better about not having the kind of sex we had last night every night for the past few years.”

 Mulder rolled to his back and pulled Scully on top of him. “Maybe we can start making up for lost time now,” he said, waggling his eyebrows.

 She kissed him deeply before crawling off of him and out of bed with a groan. “Maybe if you’re really helpful today, I’ll show you how much I appreciate it,” she said with a wink, closing the bathroom door behind her.

 Mulder draped his arm over his face and groaned in anticipation. “I’ll show her,” he thought, “I’ll show her how helpful I can be.”

 An hour later, Mulder and Scully pulled in to Margaret Scully’s drive way. “Don’t act weird,” Scully cautioned him.

 “Why would I act weird?” he asked.

 “Well you’ve had that goofy grin on your face all morning. That’s pretty weird,” she replied.

 “I’m just happy,” he said with his palms up in surrender. “Can’t a guy be happy.”

 “You’ve been getting some and it’s written all over your face. So just act normal,” she said, reaching over and kissing him quickly before exiting the car.

 Mulder put on the most normal face that he could manage and followed her to the door, admiring her back side in the shorts that she’d worn just for him. He could feel the grin start to emerge and tried to divert his mind elsewhere. How could he face this sweet woman while thinking about the things he did to her daughter the night before? ‘Think of anything else,’ he told himself, ‘Anything else.’

 The door swung open. “Dana, sweetheart,” Maggie greeted as Scully reached out and hugged her mother.

 Mulder smiled at the exchange but then his eyes accidently drifted to Scully’s thighs and he saw a small bruise peeking out from the hem of her shorts. He was suddenly back in his memories of the night before, his head between her thighs, her hips bucking frantically into his face.  

 “Fox, what a surprise,” Maggie said with a raised eyebrow.

 Mulder shook his head, clearing the images. “Yeah, well Dana here said she was coming by and I thought I could offer a little help.”

 “Uh, huh,” she replied skeptically, before reaching out and pulling him into an embrace as well.

 “It’s good to see you, Mrs. Scully,” he said sincerely after they parted. He was always astounded by her acceptance, and even love, for him after everything that had happened.

 “Stop with the Mrs. Scully. I’ve told you a hundred times to call me Maggie.”

 “Okay,” he agreed with a smile, turning to see Scully gazing at him appreciatively.

 She smiled back. It amazed her how easily he fit in with her family. Well with her mother at least. Bill was a subject for another day, but today she was happy that the three of them could be together.

 Once the greetings were done, Mulder retrieved the push lawn mower from the shed and began work on the slightly overgrown grass. Scully pulled weeds, watered flowers, basically anything her mother directed her to do from her shady seat on the front porch.

 “What else, Mom?” Scully asked after finishing with the flower beds.

“Just come up here and talk to me for a minute,” she replied, patting the chair beside her.

 Scully sat down, glad for the rest. “So…,” Maggie began.

 “Yes,” Scully said with a side eyed glance.

 “So Fox came with you today?”

 “Obviously,” Scully replied cautiously. In response she only got the famous Scully quirked eyebrow. “He is my friend, Mom. Can a friend not help out a little?” she asked, not at all feeling guilty because she had told no lies.

 “Hmm, I just thought it was interesting,” Maggie replied.

 Scully rolled her eyes. “I’m getting back to work.”

 After two hours of strenuous labor, both Mulder and Scully were hot, dirty, and tired, and Maggie had gone inside to prepare them lunch.

 “This is harder work than I signed up for,” Mulder complained, wiping his sweaty brow and collapsing on the porch steps beside Scully. “Please convince your mom to invest in a riding mower.”

 Scully laughed. “I don’t know, you looked pretty sexy pushing that thing around. You should have taken your shirt off, though. It’s stifling out here, you could have got away with it.”

 “Next time,” he said with a laugh of his own, “preferably when your mother isn’t around.”

 She smiled and kissed the side of his mouth quickly. “I’m holding you to that.”

 They quickly moved away from one another when they heard the front door swing open and Maggie emerged with a plate of sandwiches. If she had seen anything, she didn’t let it show.

 After a nice lunch on the front porch, Mulder and Scully left with promises to return and do it all again in a few weeks’ time.

 “We’re disgusting,” Scully said after they removed their shoes and entered her apartment.

 “Well I bet you could get me all clean,” he said with a smirk, steering her toward the bathroom.

 She smiled and let him guide her in and once there let him remove all of her offending clothes. His quickly followed and soon they were in a steaming shower, the water washing off the sweat and dirt. Mulder’s hands began running up and down her slick body, but Scully had other plans.

 “I believe I told you that I would show you how grateful I am for your help today,” she said, taking him into her tight grip.

 Mulder gasped and held her shoulders tightly. “How grateful would that be?” he asked between heavy breaths.

 “Very,” she said, biting her lip, knowing that it drove him crazy.

 He could only growl in response, but it quickly evolved into a loud moan when she dropped down and took him into her mouth. Before he lost all ability of thought, Mulder pondered what else he could do to make Dana Scully grateful.

[anavoliselenu]

Hiched chapter 13

“Years?” I don’t mean to blurt it with such force, but holy hell. Seriously?

She frowns. “Don’t make fun.”

I touch her cheek softly. “I’m not.” Then I lean in for a chaste kiss. “I just want to make this good for you.”

“You will.” She kisses me back. “I have no doubts about that.”

And then her hands are on my dick again, and I couldn’t stop her even if I wanted to. She’s unbuckling my belt, tugging down my zipper, shoving her hands inside my boxers to palm my erection. Her hands are so delicate, so warm, and it’s the first time she’s touched me.

“Christ, Selena.” I grunt, pushing my pants down my hips so she can stroke me freely.

Is marital sex hotter than hookup sex? The answer to that question seems to be a big fucking YES. Because just the thought of banging my wife has me harder than ever before. So hard that my cock is leaking pre-cum from the tip, something Selena seems to have noticed. She rubs her thumb along the head, smearing the warm fluid against my sensitive skin, making me groan.

I look down between us to where Selena’s gaze is glued as well. Her hand moves up and down my shaft with a firm, yet tender grip.

“You’re so big, so sexy,” she murmurs.

“That’s right, baby. Now stroke that big cock.”

I take her mouth in a hungry kiss, our tongues dueling as her hands slide up and down. Oh God, I can’t think, but I need to stop this. Man up and push her off. Tell her what’s on my mind.

Instead, what do I do? I pet her cheek with my thumb and say, “Get down on your knees and put your mouth on me, baby.” I’ve fantasized about Selena’s sassy mouth wrapped around my cock for so long, this is sure to be a dream come true.

Without a trace of the hesitation I expected, she drops to her knees before me and grips my base with both hands.

I don’t ask her to suck it, because unless she’s secretly a blow job expert—or she can unhinge her jaw—I doubt I’ll fit in her mouth. So instead I stroke her hair, and caress her cheek, and watch her lick me like a lollipop and swirl her tongue around the tip. Her efforts are cute. And the languid, wet kiss she leaves on the crown feels incredible. She murmurs little enticing noises as I pet her hair. She fits the tip of me in her mouth and suckles lightly, making me groan.

Hauling her up to her feet, I kiss her one more time. “Let’s take this to the bedroom.”

She nods eagerly and turns to walk ahead of me, swinging her hips in that backless dress.

I can’t believe she’s mine. Can’t believe that she’s about to give herself to me. A flash of pride tinged with guilt whips through me, and I give chase.

In the bedroom, Selena watches me as she lets the straps of her dress fall down her shoulders, until the whole thing is just a puddle of fabric at her feet. Having forgone a bra, she’s left standing in a lacy black thong and her black stiletto heels.

“So fucking sexy.” I groan, stopping in front of her to kiss her lips and then her neck.

My pants are still open in the front, and Selena reaches inside to take me in her hands again.

“Christ, woman.” I’m putty in her hands. Whatever she wants to do, I’m game. But I can’t give her all the control. “On the bed,” I growl, taking a step back.

Selena obeys, stepping out of her heels and moving to lie down in the center of the bed. Our bed. Shit, that’s going to take some getting used to. It should make me nervous that this woman will be here when I wake up, that this isn’t just another one-night stand. If I fuck this up, if things change and get weird after, there will be no escaping Selena.

Strangely, though, that isn’t what’s making me nervous.

It’s the sweetly hopeful way Selena’s wide blue eyes are watching me. She wants this erotic experience with me, wants to experience all the pleasure I can show her. But what if this encounter goes the way it’s supposed to and she ends up pregnant? What then? Are we ready for a baby? Are we even cut out to be parents? Will she hate me?

But the time to talk has passed. I blew all my chances to talk about the heir clause tonight; I’ll just have to tell her tomorrow. Because right now Selena is waiting for me, and I’ve never left a woman in need.

Pushing all those troubling thoughts of babies from my brain, I strip, then lie down beside Selena so we’re facing each other.

“Are you nervous?” I ask her, stroking her cheek, trying to get back into the moment.

She gives me a careful nod. “That’s stupid, right? We’re married now.”

“Nothing you’re feeling is stupid.”

She smiles at me. “It’s just . . . been a while.”

I caress her upper arms, unable to stop touching her. She looks so sexy lying here in just her thong, looking at me like I’m the big bad wolf who’s ready to eat her up.

“We can go slow,” I murmur, my lips on hers.

“Okay.” She nods, kissing me back.

In the moonlit room, we lie side by side, our arms and legs intertwined, kissing for a long time. My tongue explores her mouth and she matches my eager pace, meeting me lick for lick. Her tongue tastes of champagne, and I’m having a hell of a time holding myself back from stripping off her panties and diving between her legs. The taste I had last night wasn’t enough. When it comes to Selena, nothing can ever be enough.

A sound of frustration rises up her throat. “We don’t have to go that slow.”

“No?” I chuckle. Thank fucking God. I peel her thong down her legs and toss it over the side of the bed. “My kind of woman.”

I shift closer and part her legs, sliding her top knee over my hip, so she’s open for me. Then I rub the head of my cock over her clit, coating myself in her warmth and making her moan at the contact.

“That feels so good, Justin,” she cries, circling her hips, pushing herself closer.

“Need to make sure you’re ready for me.”

I bury my face against her neck, breathing in her familiar scent while I push one long finger inside her. She’s snug, and I take my time adding another finger before slowly withdrawing.

She reaches up to palm my cheek, feeling the stubble on my jaw. Her eyes never leave mine as I pump my fingers in and out.

“I want you, Justin.”

Her voice is just a whisper, and when I look in her eyes, I see the amount of courage it takes her to admit that. She’s been so strong, so resolute for so long, that sex will only complicate our business arrangement. I have no idea what changed her mind. Okay, so I have some idea—it could have been that orgasm I delivered the other night. There’s plenty more where that came from.

Just do it. “I know, baby. Soon. Nice and easy . . .”

I line myself up, shuddering at how warm and soft her wet opening feels on the tip of my cock. Easing in just an inch, I bite back a groan. Her body grips mine so tightly, it’s perfection.

Everything inside me wants to pump her full of my cum and watch her squirm, breathless as she comes down from the multiple orgasms I know I can give her. Instead my brain is screaming at me to stop this. To tell her the truth.

“Wait,” she says, placing one hand on my chest.

I’m almost relieved when she stops us. “What’s wrong?”

“Don’t we need a condom? I’m not on birth control.”

“I . . .”

My heart is pounding and I feel light-headed, almost dizzy. Whether it’s because I’m desperate to feel her around me, or because I’m not cut out for the deception and devastation that lies ahead, I have no idea.

“I can’t do this,” I bite out.

“What? Why not?” Selena sits up, peering down at me with confusion all over her features.

I look away. “I just can’t,” I repeat uselessly, unable to think of anything else.

“If this is about the condoms, I’ll run down to the drugstore. It’ll take ten minutes. Fifteen tops.” Her voice rises in concern.

I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I’m suddenly not feeling well.”

That’s not a total lie; my stomach is certainly churning. I climb out of bed and grab my boxers from the floor, slipping them on while Selena scowls at me.

“What the hell, Justin?”

I don’t reply; I just grab my pillow from the bed and head to the couch. It’s going to be a long fucking night.

• • •

“So let me get this straight?” Sterling says around a mouthful of pancakes. “You feigned a headache like a bitter old housewife instead of fucking her?”

I jab my fork at my eggs, stabbing the runny yolks, my appetite gone. Of course I wasn’t sick last night. It was an attack of shame and regret.

“I couldn’t do it.”

Sterling shakes his head. “Of course you couldn’t. You need to stop behaving like a grunting caveman and talk with her about the contract. Use your words and have a real conversation about this. Which has been my position since the wedding, I’ll remind you.” He waves his fork at me for emphasis.

“Yeah, yeah. Shut it.” I take a sip of my tea while Sterling continues eating. At least one of us has an appetite.

After a sleepless night spent tossing and turning on the couch, I got up early and asked Sterling out to breakfast before work. We’ve never met up so early before, but he practically jumped at the invitation. He knew from the start that my arranged marriage was going to implode, and I think the bastard just wants a front-row seat.

“I don’t even know if she likes kids, if she wants kids,” I muse out loud.

“Yeah, that’s a problem.”

Damn him for always being the voice of reason. He makes all my conundrums sound so simple and obvious.

What I’m starting to realize is that there’s the spark of something more between Selena and me. I can’t deceive any woman about this, but especially not Selena. She isn’t just a means to an end. We can have the seeds of a real relationship here, and I’m not ready to fuck up that possibility.

At the same time, though . . . the fate of our entire company is still at stake. How do I protect both Selena and Tate & Cane? How do I convince her?

I toss some cash onto the table and stand, unable to stomach any more. “I’ve got to get to the office. Thanks for the chat.”

“Anytime you need a therapy session, I’m here.” Smiling, Sterling gives me a wave before digging back into his pancakes.

When I arrive at work, I go to the one place I know Selena won’t find me.

“Hey, Rosita,” I call, clearing off a countertop in the mailroom and sitting down.

“I’ve missed you, mi amor,” she says, wheeling a cart full of packages over. As she approaches, she makes a tsking sound under her breath. Then she stops in front of me and runs her thumb under my eye. “You don’t look well. These dark circles aren’t normally here.”

I shrug. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Oh?” She gives me a knowing smile.

“No, nothing like that.” I guess I need to preface my statement; otherwise, people are likely to think I was burning up the sheets with my blushing bride. We are newlyweds, after all. “I slept on the couch last night.”

Her expression instantly falls. Frowning, she gives my cheek a pat. Then she lowers herself into the chair across from me. “Tell Mama Rosie all about it.”

“Things between me and Selena are good . . . they’re just kind of complicated.”

“Complicated how?” Rosita raises her eyebrows.

“How did you know you wanted kids?”

From her surprised expression, that’s clearly not the topic she was expecting. “I don’t know. I guess I always just knew from the time I was small that I wanted to be a mother.”

I nod. Makes sense. I think women just know. They have that maternal instinct, that ticking biological clock. Only I don’t know if Selena feels that way.

“Do you want children? Is that what this is about?” Rosita asks in her calm, yet confident voice.

I have always wanted at least one kid, hopefully two. But this situation isn’t about what either of us want. Our know-it-all, matchmaking fathers thought it best that we start a family in order to take over their massive corporation, and now I’m feeling the pressure of putting a bun in Selena’s oven ASAP.

Does Rosita really need all that background information, though?

Deciding to keep this conversation as simple as possible, I just answer, “Yeah. But I don’t know how Selena feels.”

Rosita smiles warmly at me and rises to pat the back of my hand. “You have plenty of time. The ink is barely dry on your marriage certificate. Enjoy life with just the two of you for a few years first. Once kids come, you can never go back. This time is precious.”

The sour feeling in the pit of my stomach intensifies. Great . . . yet another reason why everything in my life is fucked. Not what I need to hear right now. But Rosita doesn’t know that, so I nod and force a smile at her, as if her wise advice perfectly hit the spot.

“Thanks for the talk, Rosie. I better get back to work.”

“Anytime,” she calls after me.

Now I just have to figure out what the fuck I’m supposed to do.

Chapter Eight

Selena

What the hell happened last night? I worked so hard to psych myself up for sex, and Justin was the one who got cold feet? Unbelievable. The man can never stop flirting with me or bragging about how amazing he is in bed, but when the time came to put his money where his mouth was . . . actually, his mouth didn’t go anywhere either.

And I can’t even ask Justin about it, because I can’t find him. I woke up to an empty bed, with no sign of my husband anywhere in the apartment. He wasn’t in his office when I arrived at work either.

All damn day, I’ve been trying to catch him alone. He won’t answer any of my calls or texts or e-mails, and his secretary keeps saying “oh, bad luck, you just missed him” every time I stop by her desk.

Is it really bad luck, though? Is his jam-packed schedule today just an annoying coincidence? Or . . . is he avoiding me on purpose?

I stomp down the little voice in the back of my head that whispers, He’s changed his mind about you. He finally came to his senses, realized what a huge mistake this relationship is. He regrets everything. He doesn’t want to touch you or even talk to you. That poisonous hiss sounds an awful lot like Brad, and I’m done with him for good.

But God, I’m still so confused and frustrated. I was all set to confront my sexual hang-ups, and then our showdown was canceled at the last possible second.

Dammit, I refuse to let my emotional effort go to waste. I’m going to be brave and get laid if it’s the last thing I do. But first, I’m going to find out why Justin suddenly abandoned ship last night. And if I can’t track down the slippery SOB at work, I’ll just corner him tonight. He has to come home sometime, right?

• • •

Just as I’m folding a sheet of office paper into a voodoo doll and preparing to repeatedly stab it in the crotch, Camryn swings by my office.

“Hey, what’s up?” I ask as she slides into the chair in front of my desk.

“Not much.” She shrugs. “I wanted to see if you wanted to grab an early lunch.”

I glance at the clock and see it’s only half past eleven, but yes, getting out of this building and escaping the rejection burning through my veins is exactly what I need. “I would eat dog shit right now if I meant I got an hour’s worth of girl time with you.”

Camryn’s cheery expression falls. “Well, I’m not real keen on eating dog shit, so why don’t you tell me what happened, sweetie?”

I huff out a sigh and rise to my feet. “I’ll tell you all about it over lunch.”

And I do. Over chicken strips and fries (nothing says comfort food like deep-fried anything dipped in generous amounts of ranch dressing), I lay it all out on the table. All my baggage. All the pain and hurt and doubt Justin caused me last night.

“He had me convinced that he wanted me, wooed me, was on his best, most charming behavior, and then bam! Nothing.” I lick the grease from my fingers and take a big gulp of soda to wash down my lunch.

“What a twat,” she grumbles, nodding to encourage me along.

“He slept on the couch and was gone before I got up this morning, so obviously he’s avoiding me like he knows he did something wrong.” I freeze, my straw halfway to my lips.

“What?” Camryn asks.

“Unless I’m the one who did something wrong.”

This earns me a confused look. “Do you think you did something wrong?”

I shrug. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told him that it had been so long.”

“Justin isn’t like that. He wouldn’t care.”

Camryn’s right. I replay the evening in my head. Dinner. Champagne. Dancing. Flirting. Laughing. Groping.

“Maybe I was too aggressive. I had my hand in his pants the second the door closed.” I push my hands into my hair, remembering how I acted, in all my horny glory. “The lock didn’t even click into place and I was all up in his business. I started giving him a blow job in the damn foyer of our apartment.”

“That’s hot,” she commented, taking another bite of her food. “What guy doesn’t want a blow job in the foyer?”

I don’t know. Apparently Justin. But he’s been practically begging to show me his dick . . . I frown, unsure if my actions last night somehow caused him to pull away.

She leans toward me, her eyes full of sweet pity. “Sweetie, if you’re sucking his dick, you can do it anywhere, anytime, and it’s okay. It’s almost a rule.”

The worst part of this whole situation is the growing seed of doubt he left. What’s wrong with me? Why wasn’t I good enough?

“What happened next?” she asks.

“He took me into the bedroom and stripped me down. We were kissing.” God, the kissing. The man can do incredible things with his tongue. “And then he was rubbing his . . . anaconda . . . all over my . . . honey pot, and I mentioned something about a condom.”

“Hmm.” She looks as perplexed as I feel. “Please tell me you didn’t use the word honey pot?”

Shaking my head, I continue. “No. But maybe it was me. Maybe my vagina’s ugly?”

The guy seated next to us whips his head in my direction so fast, I’m surprised he doesn’t get whiplash.

Camryn pats my hand. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with your vagina. I’m sure of it.”

“Then why, Cam? Why? Why would he do that? Because I don’t believe for one second that he was all of a sudden ill.”

She shakes her head. “No, neither do I.” She sets her fork down next to her Cobb salad. “Do you really want to know what I think?”

My stomach tightening, I nod.

She wipes her mouth with her napkin and leans forward. “I think it hit Justin that this unique situation with you isn’t what he’s used to. This isn’t a random hookup, or a booty call that he can duck out on in the morning. Whether you guys like it or not, sex between the two of you is going to mean something.”

I frown and chew on my thumbnail. “In what way?”

“You’re a married couple now.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s a business agreement. An arranged marriage. And I proposed we be fuck buddies since we’re stuck together. It’s not some romantic till-death-do-us-part, lovey-dovey marriage.”

Camryn holds up her palms. “All I’m saying is sex for men isn’t just physical like we sometimes like to believe. And I think something spooked Justin—got into his head.”

“That’s ridiculous.” But is it? Aren’t those some of the same things I was worried about? My whole objection for us having naked fun in the first place?

“Ridiculous or not, I want you to know that his backing out had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with something going on inside his head.”

“So, what do I do now?”

She grins wickedly. “That all depends. Do you still want to bang him?”

Stupid question. Is the value of pi 3.14? Does my husband have a horse cock? Yes to all of the above.

“More than anything.” I grin back at her, my expression equally cheeky.

Camryn cracks up laughing. “Okay, then here’s what you do . . .”

• • •

Later, back at the office, I’m working away when my head snaps up. Walking past my window—was that Justin just now? I jump out of my chair and peek around the doorjamb. Yep . . . I’d recognize that ass anywhere. He turns the corner and I follow him at what I hope is a casual distance. Time to confront him, just like Camryn suggested.

When I reach Justin’s office, his door is shut and locked. But the lights are on and I can see the silhouette of his head through the frosted glass window. It doesn’t look like he’s on the phone or having a private meeting with anyone.

I give his door three loud raps. “Hey, Justin.”

No answer. So he’s being stubborn. Too bad; I can be stubborn too. I knock again and call, “I know you’re in there. I need to talk to you.”

The door flies open. Justin looks irritated. Well, good—I guess that makes two of us.

“Something better be on fire,” he snaps.

I keep my eyes steady on his. “Sorry, but no. And we should talk in private.”

His mouth presses into a firm line, but he steps aside to let me walk into his office.

I shut the door behind me and turn to face him. “So . . . about last night. Care to tell me what happened?”

He folds his arms over his chest. “Weren’t you there? You already know.”

“No, I really don’t.” Straightening my back—I can’t match his height, but I’ll still try—I plant my hands on my hips. “The date, the dancing, the wooing . . . and then the bailing.”

“I told you I wasn’t feeling well.”

“Really? Because you don’t look sick to me right now.” And if he was sick last night, then why sleep on the couch? No way. Not buying it.

Justin throws up his hands. “Maybe it was something I ate at dinner. Maybe I just got a headache. What’s with the damn third degree?”

Then he drops his gaze. It was only for a second, but I saw it, and I know evasive maneuvers when I see them. So I press harder.

“It really seemed to me like you were scared of having sex.”

He blinks, his mouth open, then forces a laugh. “What? We’re still talking about me, right? You’re always sniping at me for . . . how did you put it? Fucking half of New York City?”

“But I’m not your typical conquest. I’m your wife. Correct me if I’m wrong, but your style tends more toward ‘wham, bam, thank you, ma’am’ than ‘until death do us part.’” I pause to raise my eyebrows at him for emphasis. “Last night wasn’t going to be just a casual screw where you forgot my name five minutes later. I think you backed off because you were worried that sex would make things too real between us. You’re scared you might feel something for me.”

For a moment, he just stares at me with a look I can’t read. It’s wry, almost bitter, but at the same time, it almost seems somehow . . . relieved?

When Justin finally replies, his voice is much calmer. “What a bunch of horseshit. You’re reading way too much into this. I already told you why I stopped last night, so quit inventing crazy stories.”

I blink, surprised by how much his words sting. He calls the idea that he might love me . . . a bunch of horseshit?

But what do I care? I don’t love him. Romance was never part of this marriage, and it’s not part of our bedroom experiments either. So why does his vehement denial feel so . . . disappointing? I was just trying to get him to acknowledge what Camry and I discussed, that sex between us might seem like a big deal, but it’s not. We can keep it casual.

Disguising my twinge of hurt, I reply briskly, “Well, if you’re feeling better, then let’s reschedule sex for tonight. I already picked up some condoms at the drugstore on my way here this morning.” I watch his face carefully. “Unless there’s a problem with that?”

He frowns, but says, “Sounds good to me.”

“Great. See you at home.” I open his door and leave, heading back for my own office. Hopefully I can get some work done now that I’ve set my personal life straight again.

Chapter Nine

Justin

The conversation with Selena at work today is still ringing through my ears when I make it home just before five. I skipped out on my last meeting, asking my assistant to cover for me, because I know Selena will be expecting sex tonight. And I know I need to figure out a way to tell her everything. The contract. The bouncing baby we’re supposed to make.

She thought I was scared of having sex because I was worried about feeling something for her. But she’s wrong. I already feel a lot for her. I always have.

She was adamant. Tonight. Sex. Period. Even picked up some condoms. What the fuck am I going to do? Fake a latex allergy? No way in hell will she buy that. It’s such a stupid idea; I can’t even believe I’m thinking it. I’m so rattled, so panicked, all sorts of crazy shit is pouring through my head.

I kick off my shoes and stow them in the small entry closet. Loosening my tie, I head into the bathroom, where I stare at my reflection.

When I signed those papers, it seemed like the right thing to do. Save the company? Check. Get a shot with the woman I’ve always dreamed about? Check. And make a baby? No problem, right? But now that this is all happening, it’s become real, and I’m fucking losing it. Losing my edge.

Just over a week into our marriage and I’m already the world’s worst husband. Rosita was right about the dark circles under my eyes. I look like hell. I splash some cool water on my cheeks, hoping it might help. No such luck. I still look confused and tired and scared.

Well, fuck that. I straighten my shoulders. That’s not me. I’m not some wimpy little boy who’s too afraid to take care of his woman. And that’s what this is, isn’t it? Selena has needs. And I’m supposed to be the one to take care of those needs.

I have two choices when Selena gets home tonight. I can come clean with everything, tell her about the heir clause, show her the section in the contract she missed. Or . . . I can keep my fucking trap shut and go along with what she wants. No-strings sex.

We’re just beginning to click. She’s just beginning to trust me. If I fuck her tonight and she enjoys herself—which I have no doubts she will—that’s a big step toward bringing us closer as a couple. And isn’t that what we need if we really are to parent together? I think that’s what Rosita was trying to say today, that Selena and I need to enjoy ourselves. We’re in our honeymoon stage of marriage, after all. Baby-making can come later. After our relationship is strong enough that the heir discussion won’t bring it crashing down around us.

If safe sex is what she wants, with condoms galore, I’ll do it. If I don’t, I’ll arouse her suspicions. What choice do I have? The only thing I can do for now is buy more time to think. I just need to shut up and do my husbandly duty until I can figure out the best way to broach the topic of babies with her.

Glancing one last time in the mirror, I exhale a deep breath. Just go with it, man. This can be good for both of us. It can be the start of something real. For now, my wife wants to be fuck buddies, and I’m sure as hell not turning my nose up at that opportunity.

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