#like. cant look at him for more than 5 minutes without feeling like ill blow up into pieces.

[prettyboykatsuki]

BABYCAKES!!! ive never seen u this down bad for someone like u are with sir wyll and u have me SO intrigued im legit gonna buy the game now. u gave me the final push fr

hes really not usually my type hes such a prince but he's also just the slightest bit smug and he's so good and he makes me feel so crazy... he's the least popular of the male cast which BREAKS MY HEART bc i love him terribly. hes just so. he moves me idkkkk

[dullahandyke]

final part of trial 4 liveblog ^_^ finished it tonight yay. ill probs start on case 5 tomorrow but i wont finish it before going back to college 4 the week

ok took another break now we're back! not that it makes a difference to you cunts lol

i do enjoy how the text scrawl sfx are basically the same as ever. so cahrming

also enjoying the polyphony of the music again... mfw melodies

i can also vividly imagine patricia beat's instagram and it's horrific. homemeade meals for her hubby and god bless our boys in blye

ok new theory, stabing did happen on garrideb side of the road, green picked up a brning book and the knife fell on her

NOT PAT PULLING THE MISOGYNY CARD

'there's no one straighter than my husband' that wasn't being disputed, patsy

... the judge says 'good golly'? surely it's 'goodness gracious', golly is So fuckin american

i keep waiting for roly to have a breakdown sprite and he never does. cross between dissatisfying and novel

ah there he goes

WE'RE LETTING ROLY GET AWAY WITH THIS???? nah fuck that i hate cops and i hate romance and i hate cops x2

god i wish we weren't dealing w joan garrideb. the fat jokes r lethal. bring back plum kitaki if u needed a fat lady capable of murder. i miss the kitakis

can we get john a chair or something???

i understand why, but the lack of period-typical misogyny is v glaring. i feel ike something could have been done w joan's husband taking the stand with her + having him be seen as the reliable man. wouldn't have said anything but they made patsy play the misogyny card earlier in a way u were supposed to think ridiculous when this is what, mary poppins time? sufragette movement hasn't resolved (or maybe even started) idk mary poppins is my sole reference for british history

hate to agree w bvz but 'hell on earth' is right

the mythical invention of fingerprints... fingerprints are the fingerpints of the fingers <3

... is the ass of garrideb's housecoat burned off???? srsly can we get him a chair

olive green is a lesser known waifu she's cute

not garrideb calling his wife old bean :sob:

omg natsume hi it's been a minute

if u gave natsume a tumblr i think he'd thrive. one third mediaposting one third 'guys i'm scared' one third public breakdown and one thrid poetry. he's so good at tumblring that he unlocks another third

amazed by the fact that we've not had any multi-day trials yet. i see what ppl say abt the pacing

SHOLMES!!!

don't guilt natsume for running, sholmes, cant u see hes the most ancious man in thr world?

YES SUSATO PROTECT HIM... no cops at pride just susato and her tosses

wait hold on i just remembered that shamspeare showed up this case. why tf did shamspeare show up

'what it lacks in windows, it more than makes up for with a floor, a ceiling, AND walls' natsume...

wait the evil spirit that suffocates him in his sleep is the cat innit

finished this case on its canon date! pog

sholmes without the coat... he's practically shirtless

IRIIIIIIIS HI AGAIN!!!! :3

loved it when ryuu said 'cant wait to see what The Great Ace Attorney Adventures are awaiting us;

if sholmes were a butch lesbian i would be bewitched body and soul

listening to the music section n the alternative mesage displays r rlly cool. the unused themes also . susatos unused theme fucks

also i feel the need to point out that the ace attorney sfx head is named 'sando'. ace attorney name

istg asougi's va is familiar... future me go look it up

^ ETA HES FUCKING NOZAKI ? FROM HIT ANIME GEKKOU SHOUJO NOZAKI KUN? my god. autism handshake between nozaki and asougi

now i'm in the gallery... sholmes's crest represents him (gear) protecting iris (flower)? wahhhhhhh

the way nuri describes asougi's hachimaki like 'the winds of change are sure to be blowing whereever he is' compared to how foggy and unmoving the london air is... game 2 moment

[backtobackbakubabe]

Baby its Cold Outside (PART 10)

Bakugo x Reader

Barefoot in the Kitchen

Words: 2406

PART 1 HERE, PART 2 HERE, PART 3 HERE PART 4 HERE PART 5 HERE , PART 6 HERE PART 7 HERE PART 8 HERE PART 9 HERE PART 10 HERE PART 11 HERE PART 12 HERE PART 13 HERE PART 14 HERE

*****************************************************************************************************

Moving was awful. You hated packing. You hated unpacking. You hated the weather. It was too damn hot. You hated everything. It didn't help that you were still feeling sick. You had gone to see a doctor after Bakugo practically forced you to, and they had run some test. You were expecting a call any minute now to discuss the results.

Bakugo had been so irritable the past few days. He hated moving just as much as you did. He wanted everything to be put away in its proper place as soon as possible and you were just slowing everything down. He had to go behind you and fix everything because he liked everything a certain way. He was trying not to yell at you because he knew you weren't feeling well, but then he would just get even more frustrated because he knew you were ill and he didn't know how to make it better. So he was grumpy and you were cranky and you both just needed a break.

After your apartment was compromised you both had decided it was time to move into a house. You were pro heros, you could afford it, so you moved into a nice gated community. It was a lot farther from work than you would have liked, but weirdly enough it was kind of close to UA. Maybe you’d go pay Aizawa a visit soon.  

You were in the middle of putting the dishes away (which you knew was pointless because Bakugo was just going to rearrange them anyways) when your phone rang. Giving you an excuse to take a break.

“Hello?”

“Hello is this Y/n Y/L/N?”

“Yes. Can I ask who is calling?”

“This is Dr. Jeong. You came into my clinic yesterday. I’m calling with your test results.”

You sighed in relief, “Oh thank god. What’s wrong with me doc and how do I fix it.”

He cleared his throat sounding a bit uncomfortable, “Well I wouldn’t necessarily say anything is wrong with you. And as for how you fix it... well I would say you should be fine in about eight months.”

You froze.

“Y/N you are pregnant. Congratulations.”

“I’m.. what? I’m Pregnant?”

“I take it by your tone you were not expecting this. But yes, you are pregnant about four to five weeks along I’d say. If you would like to set a follow up appointment I would be glad to refer you to an excellent colleague of mine who is an OBGYN.”

It took a while before you realized he was waiting for you to respond, “Oh.. uh yeah. That would be great. Would you mind emailing it to me. I’m in the middle of moving and I don’t have anything to write it down.”

“Of course. I’ll have someone send that over to you right away. In the meantime I would hold back on overusing your quirk. All that exertion isn’t good for the baby and is likely what is making you so sick. It’s your bodies way of trying to get you to slow down. Do you understand?”

You felt like a child be scolded for something you didn't even know you did, “Oh yeah of course! Had I known I wouldn't have been pushing myself so hard to begin with!”

“Well that’s all I have for you now. Have a great day and congratulations again.”

You sat there suspended in time for a while. You didn't know how to feel. On one hand you were really excited. You’ve always wanted kids, and you cant imagine doing it with anyone other than Bakugo. On the other hand. You’ve only been together for a little over six months and you don’t even know if he wants kids. You hadn't had that talk yet. Sure Zuko grew on him, but Zuko is not a human baby.

“Oi, what gives? You’ve been staring at that box of dishes for like five minutes.”

Your cheeks flushed, “Oh uh nothing! I was just trying to figure out where I should put the coffee mugs.”

He squinted his eyes at you like he didn't believe you, but he didn't push you, “Probably in the cabinet above the coffee pot... You know like most normal people.”

“Pfffft why didn't I think of that. Thanks Honey. What would I do without you!”

He kept looking at you like you had lost your mind, “Look I’m going to the store to pick up some stuff, is there anything you need while I'm there? And no, Ice cream is not an option... You’ve literally been eating it everyday and someone has to be the adult. You need real food.”

You bit your lip as you realized how dad like that statement was. “Okay Dad...” You giggled at your stupid little inside joke. Oh you'd be getting that ice cream. “I’m fine just hurry back,”

He kissed your cheek, “Try not to break anything while I’m gone okay.”

As soon you heard the door click closed you ran to the bedroom. You shuffled through boxes of clothes until you found a plain white t shirt. You knew Bakugo would get mad but you didn't care. He’d only be mad for a minute... you hope.

You took out a sharpie and wrote Big Brother on it.

“Come here Zuko! Come here buddy!” You slipped the shirt over him with little fuss. “Oh daddy’s in for a surprise when he gets home huh? Oh yeah we’re going to freak him out aren't we buddy?” You rubbed Zuko's head before going to your stomach. Oh this is so weird. Theres something growing inside of you. Like a little human is in there right now! A little Bakugo... oh shit, “Baby please don’t blow mommy up okay?”

You sat your pregnant ass down on the couch, deciding you are done with unpacking for the day. And no one can tell you shit because you’re pregnant and that’s just how it goes.

Bakugo retuned home and went straight to the kitchen to put away the groceries, “Y/N! Did you not do a single thing while I was gone? You literally asked me where to put the coffee mugs and then you just left them on the counter...”

You stood in the doorway to the kitchen, “Daddy’s home!”

He rolled his eyes, “I swear are you on something I don’t know about? You’re acting so weird. Since when do you call me daddy? We’re kinky but we’re not that kinky y/n.”

Just then Zuko ran in excited to see Bakugo, “And what the fuck is this?! That’s my shirt women. You cant go putting my clothes on the fucking dog! Have you fucking lost it?”

You went over and started putting the coffee mugs away while he leaned down to try and take the shirt off Zuko.

“Big brother? Fuck Y/N did you get another dog? We just finished training Zuko we dont have time...” You froze as you let him put the pieces together.

“Get the fuck out of here? Are you pregnant?”

You were too scared to see his reaction so you just nodded, continuing to put away coffee mugs. You leaned over to pick up a box of cutlery.

“PUT IT DOWN! Are you trying to kill me! You tell me you’re pregnant and then immediately attempt to pick up a heavy box. Put it the fuck down!”

You finally turned around to see Bakugo with tears threatening to spill out. He took your face in his hands, “You’re really pregnant?”

You nodded again, a tear slipping down your cheek. “Yes, I got the call today..” His lips crashed to yours.

You pulled back to look him in the eye, “So I take it you’re okay with that?”

He dropped to his knees and kissed your still flat belly, “Okay with it? I’m so fucking excited! Y/N we get to have a little mini you!”

You laughed, “Or a mini you. I’d be okay with a little Katsuki.”

He scoffed,  “I was a little asshole.”

You quirked an eyebrow, “Was?”

He slapped your ass, “Just because you’re pregnant doesn't mean you can get sassy with me now.”

You ran your fingers through his hair, “Oh that’s exactly what it means. Now let’s go get that Ice cream you told me I wasn't aloud to have.”

He stood back up and kissed your forehead, “I dont know. Now that I know you're pregnant I feel like I should be cooking even healthier food. Only the best for my baby.”

“Katsu-”

“I’m kidding! Besides... I already got you ice cream.”

You kissed his nose, “You’re the best!”

He picked you up and placed you on the counter, “Is it weird that knowing you’re pregnant makes me want to take you right here?”

You bit your lip, “Is it weird that I want you too?”

Your sweatpants were practically torn off and within seconds he was pushing inside you. “Of fuck babe!” You didn't know if it was the pregnancy hormones or what but you could have came right then and there. You were so sensitive.

He was so gentle which was so unlike him. He pressed his forehead against yours, one hand on your hip the other one cradling your neck. He left soft kisses all over your face and chest. It was so sweet. He took one of your breasts in his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze which had you moaning, “I can’t wait for these to get even bigger.”

You huffed, “They're not the only thing that’s going to get bigger... I’m going to blow up like a balloon.”

He took you chin in his hand and gave you a fierce kid. “That just gives me more of you to love. You’ll always be the sexiest woman in the room to me.”

So that’s how you christened the kitchen. And then the living room. And then you tried to clean up and take a shower, and damn if you didn't fuck there too.

Now you were both laying in bed, completely naked, spooning and watching something on netflix. Katsuki’s hand rubbed lazy circles on your stomach, “You think I’m going to be a good dad?”

You took took his hand in yours and intertwined your fingers, “I think you’re going to be a great dad.”

When he didn't respond you elaborated, “I think you’re going to love our kid with a passion thats unmatched by anyone. Just like the way you love me. I think you’ll teach them to be smart enough to know the difference between right and wrong, and I think you’ll teach them to be strong enough to choose right every time no matter hard that might be. You’ll teach them to be brave and hardworking just like you.”

He nuzzled his head into your shoulder, “I don’t deserve you. You’re so sweet, and loving and.. and just genuinely kind. I know that’s what you’ll teach our kids. You’ll teach them empathy, compassion, and selflessness. I may teach them how to fight but you’re definitely going to be the one to teach them when to walk away. You’ll teach them to see the best in others and how to express their feelings in a positive way.”

“Sounds like a pretty damn good kid if you ask me.”

You didn’t have to see him to know he was smiling, “Well they’re our kid, of course they’re going to be awesome. Can you imagine if they go one our quirks? Or shit maybe some weird combination of the two? Unstoppable. Future number one hero material!”

You rubbed your stomach, “I’m just glad kids don't develop quirks until after they're born and a little older. Can you imagine a vanishing baby?! Or having to worry about the little nugget setting off explosions while they’re still in the womb?!”

He chuckled, “I remember my mom duck taping fire retardant gloves on my hands when I was little to keep me from setting things on fire. Little did she know she was just making it worse because my hands sweat so much worse in the gloves and made me explosion so much bigger.”

“Yeah you joke all the time about putting a bell on me but my dad actually would do that! Of course when I was little I could only go a couple feet but still, he was losing me constantly!” Bakugo was full on laughing now, “Well at least we’re not our parents right? We’ll be able to help them out a little no matter what their quirk is.”

His laughter stopped and you could tell there was something bothering him. “What if they’re quirkless?” You could hear the sadness in his voice. No doubt remembering all the years he bullied Izuku for being quirkless.

“So what? We’ll love them anyways. And when they get older we’ll tell them the story about uncle Izuku and how he wanted to be a hero so bad he practically made it happen.”

“What if they hate me? The way I hated my mom...?”

You turned around to see the worry etched into his face, “None of that now. They will love you! It’s hard not to.” You gave him a soft smile.

“Oh shit what if it’s a girl?!”

You giggled, “What do you mean? Just an hour ago you were hoping it was a little mini me.”

He ran a hand over his face, “Yeah well that was when I was imaging a little baby, maybe even a toddler. I’d love to have a daddy’s girl. But shit what about when she gets older? You’re beautiful! If she looks anything like you I’ll have to beat the boys off with a stick!”

“Or girls. You don’t know what she’s into...”

“FUCK! I’ll have to worry about everyone! I’ll never be able to sleep at night!”

You laughed, “Ah you’ll be fine. Maybe you’ll luck out and we’ll have a boy first. A little mamma’s boy”

He smirked, “I like how you say first. Insinuating that there will be more kids after this one. We’ll have our own little hero family...”

You gave his lips a quick peck, “Sounds like a great idea to me. After all we are pretty good at the whole baby making process by now”

He gave you a devilish grin, “Oh yeah, all this talk about baby making... makes me want to you know practice.”

[chimcharstar]

ANSWER 1 THROUGH 65 HO

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

WPOOOOO LETS GO 

Y E E T

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

nnnnooooooo. its called holding onto my last marble.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

1. sometimes i can freak myself out going to the bathroom at night but bro. i take walks at like 11pm or whenever the hell i please. and i LIKE IT.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

i would not care to meet dick face

4. What is your favorite word?

worm

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

well darn i dont really knowwww!!!!!!! the big jungle one from minecraft. but i love weeping willows of course.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

i didnt think

7. What shirt are you wearing?

my pyjama shirt from new vegas. las vegas. oh my god. not that i went there. my friend did. ive been wearing it for 3 days now. because its fine.

8. What do you label yourself as?

androgynouOOUUSSSSSSS i heard it described the most accurately for me as “in between blue and pink, purple is a blend while not being either of them.” yes this SPECIFICALLY. i could never be feminine while female presenting, but now that im usually read as masculine i go around seeming gay as fuck. and even though this sounds like heresy considering how i instinctively want to throat punch people who feminize me, i have comfortably considered myself a woman lately ONLYYYYYYYY BY being as butch as a butch can possibly butch. maybe without the cars. i would NEVER go by she/her NEVER NEVER NEVER. like there literally are butch women who go on T and use he/him pronouns. that brings me euphoria too and i find people reallllyyyyyy get mind-bent at this point. i really also get irritated at the idea that identifying with both lessens one or the other... thats why i like the purple thing so much. like im 100% of the thing. i was watching on queer eye, once, there was this part where all these women met up and one of them who was really masculine was saying how “a woman can look like this too” and i was like “i am probably crying for an important reason right now” and sometimes i feel attraction to women that is nOT of the ManTM just... i can do what i want. 

but my point is it’s like im only happy if i have a blend. theres even a particular quality of it i can put my finger on, like a rugged, handsome feel... and then a flamboyant, passionate feel... mix em all up... 

9. Bright room or dark room?

BRIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT 

GUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

transition juice, or fucking around with cs paint with some gentle existential dread

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this one, because my life is not hell, and i know a few basics about adulting now

12. Who told you they loved you last?

the sister. i said it for damage control because she had blown a fuse the other day. i was being very fake on purpose because i’m not being vulnerable with someone who will blow up. when she says it all i feel is pain. like cold paralyzing needles in my soul. i cant say i love you to her and mean it, even if i want to. honestly i wish people would say this to me. the most i love yous i remember are from family members putting band aids on the wreckage of our relationships, so i can feel a little twang of guilt and longing for what could have been and should have been. and feel like i should be doing something more. and feeling awkward because you both know they fucked up and it’s the elephant in the room. and i can feel their confusion and sickness causing them pain, feeling that pain for them. 

13. Your worst enemy?

hmmm. anyone who made me feel like less than i am. anyone 

14. What is your current desktop picture?

cherry blossoms and a city at night that i stole off the internet

15. Do you like someone?

like like crushes right? i fucking wish. i am so god damn sick of myself. i dont feel fuck or shit for anyone. its a fucking wasteland. yes im on T so i want to fuck anything that moves. and yet? can i please have some feelings? please may i have some feelings? not aesthetic appreciation. not moral, personality appreciation. or even just a deep respect and compassion. these are all fine things of course. but cant someone just drive me crazy? cant i have that extra spice of life? cant i just have a little bit of happy crazy? i will know a perfectly lovely person and ill WANT to have feelings for them. but i FUCKEN DONT. I DONT!!!! SHIT!!!!! WHAT IS THE MEANIGN?!?!??!??!?!1 i have fucking YET to meet anyone im more obsessed with than some really gay ocs. come on universe!!!! bring it!!! poor oscar. poor fucking oscar. whatever wavelength im vibing on man you are not on it. i wish you were on it. i wish you were on it oscar. you are hot you are hot with your bike oscar. and the rose quartz i gave you. the rose quartz you wanted. but i feel no authentic electric connection to you. i feel like all i just see is how your brain works with a coolheaded certainty. all i do is analyze what you are wearing so i can be as hot as you. maybe id like to draw you. and girls from work. you are so beautiful and amazing. i see you in bikinis on instagram. and im like oh beauty standards. look at you go, adhering to them. my heart rate goes right along at the same old pace. dont tell me this is principles. does someone have to smell bad? like edward cullen?? CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST SEDUCE ME?!!!?? ID LOVE SOME EXTRA WILL TO LIVE! THEN MY STORIES WILL BE BETTER!!!! see this is the whole problem

16. The last song you listened to?

what am i to you by finn the human or actually that asgore fight song that i do not know the context of and dont want to until i play the game for myself

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

i would save this button for a karen.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

jk rowling. every time i see her face in a news article about why her bland new transphobia anvil book is pretty bland without addressing the raging transphobia in it and around it, i take a minute and contemplate shoving a pie in her face, and agonizing that i cannot do it from this distance.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

a... slave? is this a kink thing? im fucking laughing this is going to be so honest. probably a toxic person from my past i have unresolved sexual tension with, especially since i was in my abused kid shell and was a huge doormat so now im all vengeful with issues. since this is totally something i am open to considering right now i would like to browse this concept’s menu

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

yknow what? yknow what? i am just going to say all of me. i am feeling very body positive right now. i often feel isolated as fuck because of trans stuff and male body standards, but thats Also What Makes Me Special :) i like me, i like my face, i think i am very cool and unique, and i can walk fast.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

GOD DAMN IT THIS FUCKING QUESTION AGAIN

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

yes. but it’s a secret.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

deep sea creatures. idk. even if its small and not even ugly. i just lose my fucking mind. i jump out of my chair. i get the heebies and the jeebies.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

okay. chicken. cheese. something spicy so it wont be boring. a fuck ton of veggies so i can be healthy. and some olives, fuck olive haters.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

IM GOING TO GIVE IT TO MY LANDLORD <3

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

mexico city to see what all my friends are talking about.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

............................................................................

w    h       y

okay. i would go around tasting a bunch of fucking. really fancy old wines. listen i dont really drink okay. but with a very fancy old wine i can go around with a like, glass and look really sophisticated and tell gay things to gay people. hello boys. so id find one that strategically i would like the most for the rest of my life and choose it. and if its expensive i can sell it.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

i would stick a bell in the middle of it and all of us have to go there at six o’clock and throw bread at each other and fuck.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

cunt. i dont really use it ever, but boy it can pack a punch! 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

that means my trees because theyre living things? good. my phone. i need it to function. everything else i have on the clouds and i can just write on a napkin if i really need.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

:( 

i wanna say nothing because the good and the bad made me who i am and all that. and they’re learning experiences and healthy stuff. but some of my sisters abuse that has destroyed my psyche, literally just ruined my life, it would make things easier if that hadnt happened.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

WHAT I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS LIFE STOP TELL ME HOW I GET THERE

Okay i’m moving to... greece and i’m going to study ancient greek everything and live right on the edge of the sea where the water’s lapping the doorsteps. and im gonna learn greek by immersion

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

i am not surprised whatsoever death is a cool entity.

probably someone who died really sadly and too soon in my life (no one close to me thank god) but just as a service to society

34. What was your last dream about?

wolves with bombs were chasing me around a giant university. it was all part of the game. i was trying to protect some people... soldiers were chasing me... i was hiding under the floor... hiding from authorities and war are VERY common dreams for me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

Writer? Yes. am i saying that to sound full of myself? no. i am fighting very hard to maintain some self-confidence. i have done some writing recently and i am proud as fuck of myself. i caught myself thinking, “now that was banging, i know that was banging.” and so i just admitted it to myself.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

nooooot reeeaaaalllyyyyyy. i went in an ambulance for my face swelling up! still dont know if i needed to. still think i was allergic to the person i was talking to at the time. seriously when i stopped talking to them the hives went away. they literally gave me hives sdjfnskjndsjknfkjsfnjskdnfdsjknfjknf

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

yes

38. What is the color of your socks?

they have inuyashas on them

39. What type of music do you like?

dark, longing, aching, angry, raw, disappointed, serious, low songs that get intense as fuck.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises for the concept, sunsets for the looks

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

you know what? i dont really like milkshakes. they dont feel good in my tummy even if it’s not my stomach having a fucking meltdown.

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

the fuck is football

43. Do you have any scars?

yes, most of them are from dermatillomania, two big cool-looking ones on my hands from touching a cookie sheet without an oven mitt and pouring microwaved coffee all over my thumb because literally every inch of the counter had a foot of dishes on it and i didn’t simply heat up the water normally because everything was dirty

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

i want to be a psychologist and an author

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

id like a dong please

46. Are you reliable?

yeeeeeesssssss...... but the adhd wins sometimes

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

future self: even if you’re in a worse off place than where i am right now, don’t regret anything, don’t beat yourself up. sometimes it’s realistic to have hope. you don’t have to be hard on yourself all the time just because it’s familiar and natural to you. so stop thinking “if i see a note from my past self ill be filled with rueful self awareness”

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes. i feel like im saving my soul a little and taking some power back when i am able to say “that hurt, that was wrong, and you don’t get access to me anymore, i don’t have to forgive you” it’s admitting that my own pain is real so i can listen to and protect myself. i wish i was more of a forgiving person but i spent too much time trying to forgive unorganically for the sake of being moral that i just can’t, can’t can’t now. it hurts so existentially and i deserve better. time for me to be mean and hold grudges. a little mean is okay.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a DOG  CAT????????

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

“doesn’t having a human-shaped robot with smoke coming out of it in the corner of your shop scare you late at night?”

“yes, sometimes i see it and jump a little”

51. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i’m dedicated. getting my birth certificate back? oscar worthy

52. How long could you go without talking?

i live like this lmao

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

once upon a time i had bangs. and a bob cut

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

yes bitch

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

yes bitch i can do a convincing british accent but i don’t want to broadcast that fact because being british is cringe and plus my name is gordon and im already trans and interested in cooking and my greatest fear is that people think i am trying to become him when i am deeply offended when people assume i make personal decisions for anyone other than myself. no one has ever actually voiced this theory to me but it haunts me late at night. i can honestly probably do any accent if i listen to it for a little bit. i find it very easy to imitate sounds and like individual speaking styles to the point of stealing them even when i dont want to. like actually this is something that just comes to me easily i think.

56. What do you like on your toast?

fuck toast. i make a grill cheese. cheese and garlic.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

i tried digitally painting a generic girl who ended up looking really simliar to someone i went to school with only i made the eyes way too small and i would show you except it’s too much work

58. What would be you dream car?

vw bug with giant monster wheels, black with flames, big booming stereo. eyelashes in a drag way. ill run pickup trucks off the road

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

i sang in the shower back when i felt free to annoy everyone in the house. oH WAIT IT DOESNT ANNOY PEOPLE WHO ARE KIND TO ME

...........

they taught me i was annoying. ANYWAY. i am too shy to sing in the shower but id love to. i dont really do anything unusual except that i take really long in there but yknow im not actually doing what people think im doing when i take long. im literally just sitting there decomposing, head empty.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yes, of course, i have been telling everyone theres water under mars since day one and now look. now look

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

yes. im a sagittarius and clearly it is needed because CLEARLY theres no other fucking sagittariuses

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

G, because my name starts with that and i’m just great. really, i like... it has a chonk to it. like a reliable chonk to it

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

YKNOW WHAT? im going with dragons because of the fantasy, fire breathing and so on but yknow for my wip i was going to have both dragons and dinosaurs at a reptile like shelter

64. What do you think about babies?

i think they should be loved and nurtured, but they are too much work for me to want for myself at this point of life, and you should definitely read some manuals before having one if you can because people can and do mess this the fuck up

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

you didn’t ask anything here so im just going to tell you something. i am going to tell you that i have always been so hell bent on writing even when i hate it because sometimes when things are going well i feel like i am just so in another world and i feel like im doing something im really really supposed to do. it is such a euphoria and it has an effect on my whole aura. i really wish i had never made myself stop but we can’t change the past so i shall just have to never stop again.

THANKS HOOOOO

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 63 - PHI - Brandon Montour

The Flyers tonight are a really tough pill to swallow. Ugly mascots that end up changing the game aside, overly optimistic Sabres fans such as myself have been looking up in the standings at who these guys can catch, rather frustratingly so as of late. With a Flyers win tonight they surprise the Sabres from behind and hop ahead of them in the standings. Can you imagine that violent, orange cookie monster impersonator surprising you from behind? Want to hear another surprise from behind, no this isn’t a sex joke: Marco Scandella paired with Brandon Montour. OH VETERAN, MY VETERAN! WHATSOEVER WOULD COACH HOUSLEY DO WITHOUT YOU! Housley’s prioritization of veteran minutes is going to be a whole paragraph in the Season Retrospective isn’t it? Yea, THE SEASON RETROSPECTIVE THAT WILL HAPPEN IN APRIL IF HE CAN’T PROPERLY UTILIZE THIS ROSTER! Ok, stop, Andrew. Optimism; remember the optimism with which you started this blog. Ugh, what different days those were. Speaking of not making the playoffs, let’s talk trash about the last team the Sabres played in the playoffs! Philadelphia, the past of this match up it that old ballad about working class cities just smashing their blue-collar lunch pals at each other as hard as possible. The world and the NHL has changed and now a playoff matchup between these two teams looks more like it would be a speed-skill bonanza then any kind of grit-for-grit hockey men party. The Sabres are building something new while the Flyers are copying the Penguins model: yeah, I said Penguins! Sabretooth wasn’t wearing pants when Gritty wasn’t even a sparkle in Jakub Voracek’s eye yet! 2011’s rematch is a going to go for the Sabres in 6, you sloppy copycats. That was fun; too bad it’s going to make this next part harder. This was the night the playoffs died. But no, you’re New Look Sabres, you preach taking a New Look at this team time and time again! How can you say its over!? Well, eight points with twenty games left will do that to you. Luckily, we’re not focusing on that tonight.

New Flyer Ryan Hartman set the tone of this game leveling Rasmus Dahlin along the boards early. Zach Bogosian and the old-time hockey alliance came crashing in like you know and instigator penalty, other penalty, whatever-whatever it panned out to nothing. Want to know why contemporary hockey fans don’t give a shit about keeping fighting in the game old boys club? It doesn’t help. At best it gives your team a moderate morale boost at worst it chops years off dudes’ lives. Whatever, it didn’t help the Sabres win this game. If the Sabres weren’t outshot each period they were certainly outplayed. By eight minutes in the Flyers were already up 2-0 on the backs of Oskar Lindblom and Jakub Voracek. Let’s get something out of the way: this loss wasn’t because of Carter Hutton. He was left out to dry and when we look back on this season their will be poetry in that. More and more every year this club is Jack Eichel and friends. Our favorite Patriots fan put this team on his back and made us believe again like Tom Brady! Ok, that was gross to write. I’m sorry you had to read that. I’m going to collect myself now. Jack Eichel did get the puck from Skinner and did toe drag a fucking bullet in there, but the period ended 2-1 and even the grossly optimistic types like me still kind of felt this crap wasn’t going to get much better. Like the cold, cruel march of time closer to death the Sabres would get scored on once they began to give us hope. 15 minutes into the second period James van Riemsdyk redirects a puck in front and gets the orange boys up 3-1. What is that? This is one of those game Casey Mittelstadt flashes the kind of brilliance we’ll get from him on the regular in a year and a half or so? Awesome, New Sabre Brandon Montour gets the play going in the defensive zone that would eventually end in Casey Mittelstadt tapping in a goal via Evan Rodrigues and Conor Sheary. 3-2 Flyers would be the high-water mark of this game for the Sabres as the only positive highlight of the third period would be Travis Sandheim doing his Sabres ten game winning streak impression and crashing the net less then a minute in to get the Flyers their two-goal lead back. Whatever whatever, Claude Giroux, whatever whatever, can you believe they eliminated Caelynn on the Bachelor, whatever whatever; Sabres lose 5-2 in regulation and give up another spot in the standings falling to a full eight points back. The Panthers might still win their game at the posting of this and they can hop over the Blue and Gold too because irony has no bounds in the season of the ten-game winning streak that saw no playoffs.

So yes, it’s not over until the fat lady sings. There is a ridiculous scenario where the Sabres win 65-75% of their remaining games to sneak into the playoffs. As I began saying last night, start cushioning the blow now, fam. Enjoy what’s left of the ride but start thinking about what’s for dinner. I’m letting my soccer side out starting now. Hell, I just posted on my politics blog for the first time in like a month. Let loose, Spring is officially 21 days away even if playoffs aren’t. However, this is not how I’m ending the blog today. No sir: we have a new player to celebrate. Brandon Montour had about as decent a game as you can have in a loosing effort on the road when your new coach insists on putting you with a negative player that is really only in because he’s been in the league for a while. I mentioned Montour being the catalyst of the Mittelstadt goal play earlier, but Montour made some good moves in this game. He broke up a lot of opposition passes in the defensive zone, more than you expected before with this Sabres defense. For all you suburban hockey dads he also laid out a decent hit or two in the third period that feels right in a game against the Flyers. He made his mistakes too, struggling in the offensive zone shortly before the JVR goal. Nonetheless Montour is a clear addition to this team and if shit ever gets better here for a Sabres fan I have a feeling #62 will be a part of it. This one just hurt, and I very much look forward to turning my attention to the Rochester Americans for tomorrow’s Amerks Angle update. I’ll be discussing banners in that one so if you need a palette cleanser check back tomorrow.

In fact, cross-promotion city here because how long can we talk about this dreadful team, if you got an eye for Soccer, I have a whole soccer blog at Rochester Rhinos Outsider if you want to check in on that. I also have a politics blog but let’s keep it in the sports family for right now. Right now: I just want you to like, share and drop a comment on this post. Let’s commiserate together because now, with the deadline past this is the bed we’re sleeping in from now until April 6th, fam. I’d love to hear from you. If you’ve read this far you probably won’t mind a conversation with me either. Reply or @ me on twitter or DM on twitter or Tumblr. If you’re only on this blog because I posted that neat little graph last night, stick around, there’s another one of those coming Saturday! No matter what you’re here for, it’s the Sabres that brought us all together and no matter how ass they maybe they can’t take that from us! Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. In all the busy-ness of the last few days I forgot to mention Kyle Okposo is back already. Evidently his concussion was only slightly worse than Jeff Skinner’s ankle injury and he’s already back! I like to think fan support helped that along.