#like. i do tend to look at my headmates who deal with this much better and how they do it. but that's just because i see them from an

[schadenfreudich]

My existence is a trauma response and I think that shows

[multiplicity-positivity]

is there any way i can get someone in my system to help me ?

i have a slightly dangerous thing i do and i need help (tho im looking into fixing it myself i hope my sys can help me too..)

can i like. get someone to take up a system role ? or switch roles? despite my system most likely being created to protect me we suckkkk at that :/ i just mostly need someone to stop me from doing anything dangerous but our main protector only fronts during abuse or situations that remind us of it ,, and i forgot if we have anyone else like him

(yes, i am working on it, dont worry. im trying to help myself. )

hey. it sounds like you’re in a pretty rough situation - we’re sorry you’re going through this!

in general, we think it’s a bad idea to ask or expect your headmates to do things for you that they may not want to do or be able to do, for that matter. still, we know that having support from other members within a system can be immensely beneficial.

have you tried communicating with your headmates about this activity, your concerns, and how they may be willing to help put a stop to it while detailing what actions you currently are taking to change? ultimately it will be your responsibility to commit to positive change, but having a headmate who supports your efforts can make a world of difference. be ready to respect their choices though, and understand if they’re unwilling or unable to help you with this! they may have their own problems to deal with, be physically incapable of intervening, or have some other reason for not helping you commit to changing your actions.

it also may be a good idea for you to seek some outside help from a loved one, therapist, or close friend. they may be willing to let you reach out to them when you feel like doing something dangerous, to help distract you and give you a chance to calm down. we think something like this could be even more beneficial than relying on a headmate inside to keep you from doing dangerous things.

if you tend to act dangerously when feeling overwhelmed… we’ve found that dialectical behavioral therapy skills are incredibly useful for learning how to effectively manage overwhelming emotions. you can get the dbt workbook we use for like $15 usd on amazon:

and here’s a post we made discussing the dbt skill, rest (an acronym for relax, evaluate, set an intention, and take action) which really helps us when we’re feeling overwhelmed:

other than this, though, i’m afraid there’s not much else we can offer besides wishing you the best of luck with this.

we know you said you’re working on it and trying to help yourself. we also know committing to positive change can be ridiculously difficult and exhausting. sometimes it may seem hopeless... but please remember that there’s always hope! we believe in you, and we know that with the right tools and enough support you can do what it takes to help yourself change for the better! you got this!!

🐢 kip and 💫 parker

[darksou07]

Otherlink vs Otherkin

I know what it looks like, but that's not what this post is about. I actually want to try to start to stablish the differences between otherkin and otherlink with focus on the origins instead of what can or can't be done. Meaning, this will be a post about whether your nonhumanity/fictional identity is voluntary or involuntary.

While I do not consider myself to be an expert on otherkinity and my own experiences with otherlinking might be or not be the norm, I still believe I could be able to help with some of my observations within the alterhuman community. The thing is, otherlinkers don't truly have a specific narrative and while this could be problematic if it results in elitism, it also means that nobody knows how a typical otherlinking experience is. Thanks to that, it is normal for many inside and outside this group to not know how it is "supposed to be like".

However, this isn't what this post is about. Instead, I will discuss about what it means to have a voluntary and an involuntary alterhuman identity.

Before I go for the actual topic, I will talk about another part of the alterhuman community that I used to be part of: plurals. The reason why I'm doing this is because plurals have those that were born or had traumatic experiences that resulted in them becoming more than one person inside their body whether they liked it or not. This can and usually does cause many issues for these types of systems, but with a lot of work they can become more functional and able to have a good relationship between them. These are usually called endogenic and traumagenic systems.

Then, we have those who cause their own plurality usually by roleplaying, creating stories, acting and sometimes because they truly wanted to have another person sharing their brain for whatever reason. While it is very possible for them to acquire toxic relationships inside them, this is far more uncommon because they tend to be prepared for their new headmate and actually want them to be there with them. They're called the parogenic systems.

As you can see, having the presence of voluntary/involuntary alterhuman experiences is nothing new and it doesn't make any of these experiences invalid. The headmates within traumagenic systems are as real as the ones in endogenic systems and also as much of living beings as the people living in the parogenic systems. All of them are alive and must be respected as people with thoughts, feelings, dreams, history... No matter how or why they came to exist.

Similarly, otherlinkers and otherkin/fictionkin must acknowledge who they are as real. How they came to be is irrelevant in this aspect, except for the kinds of help their communities will be able to provide.

While we don't have a clear understanding of what otherlinkers need, we know that this division is very useful for plurals. Traumagenic systems need a lot of help to deal with triggers, life stressors and their own headmates along with many other things I don't even know about. Endogenics might need some of these, but mostly to be acknowledged for who each one of them are. Parogenics actually need help on how to become plurals (which isn't something that traumagenics/endogenics have to do to become plural, they just are) and how to make sure their relationship isn't causing harm for themselves and the new person/people they are creating.

As you can see, even if all of them are composed of headmates that must be respected as real people, their needs are very different. Some of them want help to adjust to their current state of being while others want to experience the change of being singlet to being plural and to do so in a healthy way. They have the expectation that this will be a positive experience for their lives, so it is no wonder some traumagenic systems do get upset over their existence. How could plurality, a source of pain and problems, become something good for someone else?

This issue usually happens because an individual thinks that plurality = DID/OSDD and actively ignore other ways to exist as more than one person in the body which isn't always classifiable as a disorder. Similarly, we see a lot of discussion on otherkinity and about whether one can become nonhuman. The issue I see here is that many alterhumans have the misconception that one can only be nonhuman if they are otherkin. I'm here to say that this isn't true. One can become nonhuman if they are otherlinkers.

Yes, I said it. A person can become nonhuman. That's what it means to be an otherlinker. You become nonhuman.

Now, how do I know if I was always nonhuman or if I decided to become nonhuman? (Also applies to fictional identities.) This one isn't easy to determine and it might not even be too useful for you. I'd recommend going for otherkin communities if your goal is to get to know yourself as nonhuman and to otherlink communities (that actually needs more members) if your plan is to learn how to experience nonhumanity or if you want to become nonhuman.

However, if that still doesn't satisfy you, I will give a few tips on how to determine if you're experiencing something voluntary or involuntary. You are more than welcome to disagree and to give your own advice on the matter.

1. I used to experience lots of shifts in my life, had past life memories that couldn't be fully explained with my lived experiences, I have body dysphoria related to my identity and/or don't identify as human. However, I chose to call myself [insert identity here]. Am I an otherlinker because I could have chosen not to pay attention to all of that?

Alright, so you're telling me that you had been experiencing nonhumanity since way before you started to identify as an otherlinker and you didn't have much of an choice on that matter? I'd suggest spending some time with otherkin and sharing with them your experiences. Whether it is something voluntary or not, I cannot tell you. You're the one experiencing that, but what you described is a very common thing for otherkin and I believe it would be worth checking this out.

2. I used my fond memories of the past and/or induced shifts to deal with my life circumstances. Does that mean I'm a copinglinker?

Maybe. Did you always had these memories and shifts before you needed to cope with that? If you can tell for sure that you did not, there is the possibility that you are otherkin and using a pleasant part of yourself in order to deal with life. However, if you can't, you could very well be a copinglinker. Don't worry, otherlinkers also can experience memories and shifts.

3. I identify as an OC I created. Am I an otherlinker?

It's kind of a chicken or egg situation here. Did you start to identify as this OC after you created them? If so, was it something you decided to do or was it something that happened naturally? Also, what was your inspiration to create this OC? Were you experiencing very vivid images that seemed to belong to a past far away? Have you been feeling disconnected from your body and this OC's appears to match better as to how you were supposed to look? Were you inspired by something external or internal?

Anyway, these examples I stated were some that I have observed and that appeared to be more involuntary than voluntary in my point of view. While I cannot say for sure if they are otherlinkers or not, I can definitely say that they could benefit from otherkin knowledge. This isn't to say otherlinking wouldn't be useful for them, it's just that there are some signs of involuntarity that I believe to be worth checking.

If there are other examples you can think of and your fingers are itching to type about how it isn't that easy to determine if an identity is voluntary or not, then I probably reached where I wanted to go. It isn't easy to figure out if your identity is voluntary or not and it can be useless to do so. Because of that, it is my belief that it would be more useful if you tried to figure out why you want to be part of one or the other community. What are you looking for?

You see, even the parogenic systems have stories about accidental headmate creation and they're still fit for their label because they did become plural due to their own decisions. Why wouldn't there be cases of otherlinkers accidentally creating their own identities? Or why wouldn't some otherkin experience some degree of a choice in how they deal with their own nonhumanity?

It isn't my intention to blur the lines of what it means to be otherkin and otherlinker. I just wanted to let you know of two things: (1) otherkin and otherlinkers are nonhuman. (2) Figuring out what you want to do with your identity is more useful than trying to fit on either community.

I decided to create this post mostly due to some discussion I've seen on whether being otherkin can come from a choice and... Well, this is my opinion. You can be nonhuman and not call yourself otherkin. Simple as that.