#listen i just think akutagawa brings out the absolute worst in him

[inkykeiji]

okay but you can't tell me daddy dazai isn't GREAT at aftercare. he can take you apart and put you back together again and he loves to spoil and coddle you too. <3

with you, yes, absolutely 100%!!!! he would be the fucking sweetest and he’d already have multiple potential care plans in place before you even begin the scene, each tailored to a specific outcome—the ways he thinks you’re most likely to react by the time the scene is over, with a few of them branching out into sub-plans based on what turns the scene may take as it develops. each aftercare plan is attuned to what he knows your specific set of needs will be by the end of him fucking you into the prettiest shattered shards of yourself. if the session ends up being purely psychological torture then you can bet your ass he’s got a whole novels-worth of words of affirmation written on the walls of his skull, just waiting to be spoken to you. if the session is more physical in nature then he’s prepared with your favourite nutritious snack + a bottle of water + first aid materials. if it’s any combination of both he’s prepared with whatever percentage of each he believes must be met; various aftercare blends each customized to that particular result.

afterwards, after he’s sure your initial, instinctive and most immediate needs have been throughly dealt with and resolved, it’s whatever you further need—your favourite comfort film, or cozy cuddles beneath fluffy blankets with him and your most cherished stuffy, or tender kisses scattered across your marred skin and mangled limbs, gentle lips so healing, so loving as they skim across your body, each stamp of them against your flesh leaving a soft, small blossom of warmth in its wake; whatever it is, whatever you want, he is more than ready and willing to give it.

i genuinely believe that like, 97% of the time this man is fucking brutal and sincerely, severely sadistic in the bedroom; loves teasing you to the point of tears and then far beyond that, staining his name into your skin through deep indents beneath all 32 of his teeth and splats of broken blood vessels beneath his fingertips, can be downright fucking cruel when he wants to be, when the mood strikes him (and takes genuine delight and pleasure in it all)—and as such, being a god at aftercare is a must, when it concerns you, anyway.

with akutagawa tho?????? eeeeeee probably not

[hatsukeii]

 Yikes I thought of something BUT

Here’s a big trigger warning. This post will contain mentions of the blue whale game, forced self harm, forced suicide, etc. Please proceed with caution.

Anyways since the blue whale game is being talked about again (Although it started in 2013 and I learned about it when I was like what 11) I thought of something to sort of raise the awareness (??) all while sticking w the whole writing blog theme.

So,

Here’s something for ya.

*gif is not mine:)

The Blue Whale // Akutagawa Ryunosuke x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k+

Trigger warnings: cursing, mentions of death, mentions of suicide, forced self harm, the blue whale game, blood

Summary: No one should have blood in their room, but Akutagawa woke up to smell it all over you.

Tears flowed freely from your eyes as you frantically tried to scrub off the sticky, crimson liquid that stained Akutagawa’s desk. Next to the pool of blood, lay a pocket knife, the blade tainted red. The wet kitchen towels in your hand soaked up the blood, leaving the table squeaky clean. Discarding the mountain of kitchen towels, you scrambled for your phone, snapping a photo of your arm, before sending it to your curator.

Are you happy now? Is this enough for you?

Trying your best not to wake your partner up, you tiptoed to the bathroom, grabbing a roll of bandages from the cupboard. You bit your lip as you ran your cut arm under the ice cold tap water, suppressing a few pained groans. Pulling the bandages out, you began to wrap your arm up, the blood staining the white fabric as you winced in pain. The metallic stench of blood was enough to make you puke as you made your way back to the bed. From next to you, you could feel Akutagawa stir in his sleep, before he groggily forced his eyes open.

“Why the fuck are you awake again?”

“Sorry, nightmare.”

Seeing Akutagawa’s figure relaxing, you heaved a sigh, slipping in bed with him. Accidentally putting pressure on your arm, you winced, hissing silently as you flinched. He responded with a light snore, signalling that he was fast asleep. You inched closer to his body, burying your head into the crook of his neck, hoping that subtle action could give you even the tiniest sense of security in this situation.

It didn’t. 

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to forget about the game for even a second, but the gruesome images of the horror movies you’ve had to watch, the mutilated images you were sent, the blue whale carved deep into your arm, all those horrifying things came rushing back to your mind like a flood. You couldn’t forget them. Even as you nuzzled yourself closer to Akutagawa, a shiver made its way down your spine, despite the warmth his body gave off. It was the sense of uneasiness that really did the job. Who was this “whale?” What did they want with you? How did they find Akutagawa’s address? What would they do if you refused to complete your daily mission? You were on day thirty five with no way out. They have already forced you to make a choice of where and how you were going to kill yourself. No one knew of the dangerous situation you were put in, you were all alone. Eventually, you dozed off out of exhaustion, gripping tightly onto Akutagawa’s sweater.

You stood in the middle of your shared bedroom, too petrified to even move. it felt like you were drowning. Just drowning in a deep void of water, with nothing to grip at. Blood was smeared everywhere, not an inch of space left empty. The floor, the walls, the ceiling, the bed, everything was stained and tattered. To your absolute horror, from the curtain pole, hung Akutagawa, his eyes lifeless and dead. You tried to scream, but it was as if your lungs gave out. You were suffocating. This was too much to handle. Forcing your eyes shut, you take a few deep breaths, before making the terrible decision of opening them again. All over your room, eerily detailed drawings were stuck everywhere. Whether it be a knife, a wound, or even a noose. Bringing your hand up to cover your mouth, you stagger out of the room, horrified to see the rest of the apartment. Nothing struck you as abnormal, except for the final painting you found.

It was a painting of a blue whale, stabbed into your front door.

You let out an inhumane scream, tears staining your face as Akutagawa woke up from his slumber. Your knuckles were white from gripping his sweater so hard, the fabric now crinkled. Seeing your visible distress, the black haired man didn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around you, drawing small circles into your back as you grabbed your chest, heaving uncontrollably. Akutagawa scrunched his nose, sniffing the air. 

“Blood?”

Hearing the click of a lamp switch, along with the light that turned on after that, you grabbed onto the sleeve of his sweater, trying to pull him back to bed.

“It’s fine! Really, just deal with it later in the day, it’s like three in the morning right now.”

His expression was full of worry as he softly pulled your hand away from the fabric.

“You woke up screaming at three in the morning and I smell blood in this room, I’m gonna check it out and be right back.”

Refusing to let go, your heart raced as you tugged harder, making him fall back, the mattress dipping as he fell onto your wounded arm. A loud hiss sounded from your mouth as you groaned in pain, cradling your arm as you heaved heavily. Akutagawa’s eyes widened in concern. Turning around to face you, he gently took your arm in his hand, poking on it. You flinched at the sensation, feeling every nerve in your arm tingle with pain.

“(Y/n), lift up your sleeve.”

“No, it’s really fine-”

Without listening to you, Akutagawa pulled your sleeve up to reveal the bandages wrapped around your arm, now stained a reddish brown from the dried up blood. You felt your throat close up as you started to wheeze and choke, panic overtaking your senses. Sweat gathered around your forehead, tears threatening to spill from your heavy eyelids as you fought the urge to pass out. From the corner of your eyes, you could barely make out the image of Akutagawa with the tears blurring your sight and the blinding light that was the lamp. Your mind raced, only just realising the worst case scenario had come true. He was at risk now. You should’ve just held the screams back and shut the fuck up but instead you put him in a dire situation along with yourself. What if he got hurt because of you? What if the whale found him and made your nightmare a reality? You would never be able to live it down knowing you were the cause of pain or suffering for your loved one. He cared for you so, so much, and what did he get in return from you? Danger. You were guilty. Terribly guilty. Akutagawa has been through enough already, he shouldn’t have to put up with your shit as well. You stayed silent about the game, hoping to just get it over with and figure everything out yourself so you wouldn’t be a burden to anyone, but of course that didn’t work out and here you were.

Akutagawa’s eyes softened as he let out a tiny exhale.

“Oh no, what the fuck happened love?”

You bit your lip, tears now sliding down your hot cheek as you squeezed your eyes shut. Love? You didn’t deserve to be called that, especially when you’ve just put your partner’s life in danger.

“I told you... it’s okay, don’t worry about me.”

Hearing your voice crack, Akutagawa felt his heart ache as he reached out, pulling you into his chest. Don’t worry? How was he supposed to not worry? It would be plain wrong for him to not give a fuck about your struggles and go on with his life. When he fell in love with you he swore to himself that he would protect you with every ounce of his life, even if it meant putting himself in danger. Seeing you so vulnerable and hurt, it made him want to cry. It made him want to beat himself up for not noticing it earlier. For not noticing anything wrong with the way you woke up at ungodly hours, searching for your phone. For not even suspecting the way you jumped at the tiniest noises at night. He had to hold his tears back. He was going to stay strong for your sake. Planting a gentle kiss on your forehead, he rested his head on top of yours, not even thinking of letting you go. He was going to keep you in his embrace for as long as it took to make you finally feel safe and at ease again.

“Please, just let me change out the bandages for you, okay?”

Feeling you nod under his chin, Akutagawa gently released you from his hug, before slowly grabbing your arm. Eyeing the bandages, he winced, imagining the pain you must be in. Carefully, he peeled the stained fabric off your arm, trying not to inflict any pain on you. His breath was caught in his throat when he saw what was carved onto your arm. As if it was on instinct, you shoved your head back into his chest, sobbing uncontrollably.

“(Y/n), don’t tell me...”

His sentence may have stayed unfinished, but he knew exactly what was going on in his head. Your tears stained his sweater as you continued to cry, but not out of sadness. He knew the feeling all too well. You were scared. Terrified. But could he blame you? The game had two mafia members murdered in the past week, any normal human being would be petrified.

“The blue whale game?”

You gripped his sweater even tighter, your fingers hurting as you nodded into the fabric.

“How long has it been?”

“Thirty five days.”

Before you could comprehend the situation, Akutagawa was carrying you to the bathroom, his arms hooked underneath your legs and back, dirtied bandages in one hand. Setting you down on his lap, he threw out the stained fabric, grabbing the roll of bandages. Gently, he wrapped them around your arm, making sure not to put too much pressure on the wound. He didn’t want to see you in pain again. Not tonight. Not ever.

“I’m sorry.”

His hands froze at your words.

“For what?”

Your eyes were empty, holding close to no emotion. They were dead, as if you were nothing but a talking corpse. 

“You should stay away from me. It’s too dangerous for me to stay now.”

“If I stay away, then who’s going to keep you safe, idiot?”

His words may have been harsh, but it was clear as day the concern that was laced in his voice. The air was thick, the two of you silent as he continued to bandage your arm up. Securing the fabric, he gave your arm a tiny squeeze, his hands warm even through the bandages. Carrying you back to the bedroom, he gently laid you down, before getting in bed himself, draping the blanket over the two of you. He then proceeded to pull you into his arms, his hair tickling your forehead as he stroked yours in return. Your arms shakily wrapped around his torso, taking in his scent. It was comforting to a certain degree, but you shook at the thought of the nightmare. Feeling you shake, Akutagawa started to whisper sweet nothings in your ear, hoping that would comfort you.

“Shh, I’m right here, don’t worry. You’re safe, come closer. You can squeeze me as tight as you want, don’t worry. We can sort all this out tomorrow. For now, just get some rest. Careful about your arm too.”

Hearing that, you tightened your grip on him, pulling yourself into his chest as he wheezed slightly.

“Well that’s quite tight.”

Continuing his calming strokes on your hair, Akutagawa littered your head with soft kisses, each and every single one of them filled with emotion as he held onto you. You were so fragile in his arms, seconds away from breaking completely. Hearing your soft snores, he smiled to himself, starting to drift to sleep himself.

“Never, ever, be sorry for something like this. I’m willing to put my life on the line if it means you’re protected.”

Yikers this seems underwhelming now that I’m done w it-

But still hope you enjoy it!!

First bsd fic DONE LMAOO

Tags:

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[chuuaku-x-dazatsu]

for justanothermultifan

chuuaku - hugs, nightmares, & pre-mission pep talks

hugs

don’t get him wrong, aku loved receiving hugs from chuuya. chuuya knew that his boyfriend was extremely touch starved from his upbringing, and made it his personal goal to always shower aku in affection to show how much he cared. aku would never admit it, but he honestly found it kind of cute.

but when chuuya had him in a death grip when he had plans and needed to leave, the last thing aku would describe chuuya’s affection as would be “cute”.

“chuuya-san, i need to head to the store-“

“but it’s eight in the morning ryu!” chuuya exclaimed dramatically from behind aku. chuuya was the big spoon, so it was easy for him to capture aku and make him unable to get out of bed. “go later! we shouldn’t even be up at this hour on a sunday! plus, you’re warm.” for emphasis, chuuya snuggled into aku’s nape and gave it a small kiss. aku could feel the heat rise to his face at his boyfriend’s actions.

aku squirmed a bit more before sighing in defeat. even if he could wrangle himself out, chuuya would probably chase after him and tackle him to the floor.

aku grumbled, crossing his arms and slightly puffing his cheecks. chuuya called it his “pout face”, something that aku did not believe for one second. he was akutagawa ryunosuke. he did not pout.

“awww,” chuuya cooed, kissing the shell of aku’s ear. he laughed at the squeak noise that followed. “baby’s upset that he couldn’t get away, huh?”

aku turned his head to finally make eye contact with his boyfriend, trying to be intimidating despite his red face. “shut up and go back to sleep.”

chuuya chuckled and placed a kiss on aku’s cheek, putting his head back on the pillow for hours of peaceful sleep.

nightmares

aku’s nightmares are about two things:

one, chuuya leaving him.

and two, dazai.

nightmare chuuya is with a woman, beautiful with a sweet smile that turns devilish when she sees aku. she laughs at him manically, pointing a finger at him like a cliché high school bully. chuuya steps by her side, puts his arm around her waist and joins her, calling aku every insult in the book and says that he would never love someone as disgusting and ugly as aku. chuuya is a god compared to him, sunset orange locks and beautiful ice blue eyes are forever superior to his strange black, white-tipped hair and boring hateful grey eyes. all the insecurities aku tells himself he he shouldn’t have scream at him, nightmare chuuya and his woman laughing away.

the dazai nightmare is always the same. they’re training, aku doing the best he can to impress dazai, to get just the smallest amount of praise, to know that he’s getting stronger. but dazai doesn’t care. he points out aku’s flaws and how his strategies rely too much on brute force and his ability, that he should be smart for once and think of strategies that isn’t just slaughtering enemies left and right.

the chuuya nightmare makes him wake up crying.

the dazai nightmare makes him wake up screaming.

it doesn’t matter which nightmare he has, chuuya is there, right by his side, ready to hold aku in his arms and be okay with either words or silence. chuuya’s there, rubbing comforting circles into his back and doing everything he can to make his boyfriend fall back asleep.

after the chuuya nightmare, aku is gifted his sweet words about how beautiful he is, how chuuya loves the mere sight of him, and how he outshines the sun.

after the dazai nightmare, chuuya talks about all the missions he’s completed and how strong he’s become. chuuya says that he will make dazai pay in the worst way possible for fucking aku up so badly, in a way that he knows that can never be recovered from, aku’s protest falling on deaf ears.

and at the end of both, chuuya cups his cheeks and gives aku a long and deep kiss. when they part, chuuya whispers:

“I love you.”

pre-mission pep talks

“you can say that you’re nervous, ryu.”

“don’t call me that in public. the others might hear you.”

“i’ll listen to you when you start listening to me.”

they had been dating for three years now, so chuuya knew about aku’s habits when expressing emotions. when sad, he would blink and lot and breathe heavily to stop his tears from falling. when happy, his eyes became softer to let his guard down.

when nervous, he paced back and forth and kept his eyes on the ground, so he could mask it has being impatient.

and that’s what aku was doing for the past half hour.

when aku had walked close enough to chuuya, the redhead grabbed his arm and made aku look at him. try as he might, it was clear to chuuya (or clear to anyone, really) that aku was on the verge of a breakdown. his lips were trembling, eyes big and wide, and the longer chuuya held onto his arm, he began to shake more.”

“ryu,” chuuya’s voice was soft as he cupped his boyfriend’s cheek. aku automatically leaned into the touch, lowering his head so that they could kiss. the others could only hear them, so the aku didn’t have to worry about them getting caught like before. when they parted, chuuya asked, “you okay with telling me what’s wrong?”

aku bit his lip and looked at the ground. chuuya knew that aku was bad with eye contact, so he didn’t try to turn his boyfriend’s head as aku spoke.

“it’s just...” chuuya was slightly shocked at how vulnerable his boyfriend sounded. “this is the first mission we’ve ever had together, and i.... i don’t want to let you down.”

chuuya swallowed down the small laugh that threatened to escape. he had a non-malicious reason for it, but aku had a habit of jumping to conclusions and would assume that chuuya was laughing at him, and that was something chuuya didn’t want at all. the redhead took aku’s hands in own and gave them a light squeeze. he sighed, looking up at aku’s slightly confused face.

“i’ve helped train you for years now; i’ve seen how you’ve improved. rashomon requires it’s user to use different and unique strategies in combat, something you excel at. you can use it for attacking, defending, and oh!” chuuya stopped himself and snickered. aku had absolutely no idea what was going on in his boyfriend’s head. 

“and you can protect me!”

it took all of chuuya’s willpower not to burst out laughing as aku tore his hands away and a blush exploded onto his face. it was the exact same face he made when chuuya would give him a ton of compliments, and he would try to deny all of them.

“w-wh-what do you mean by that!?” chuuya covered his mouth, desperate to stop his laughter. “you’re much stronger than me! you could crush all of those guys before I could even walk in the room! the only reason black lizard and i are here is because the boss said so! if anything, you should be protecting me from th-”

chuuya tugged on aku’s cravat to bring their faces closer together before sealing the distance completely with a slightly rough kiss. but chuuya developed a habit of being a little too forward when it came to showing aku that he was loved. aku learned quickly that his self-esteem issues was something that chuuya did not allow.

when the two finally broke away for air, chuuya let out a small chuckle.

“let’s protect each other, okay?”

[sensiblysilly]

Can I go for something super super super indulgent with SSKK and ask for 27+74? *_*

Literally 3 months late - but I finally have a little fic for you! Thank you for the prompts - this was fun to do ☺️

(From this prompt list.)

Normally Akutagawa wouldn’t let Atsushi get away with this, but Akutagawa is cold and sick and tired. That’s the only reason why he’s permitting Atsushi to hold him so closely - he swears.

Read below the cut or on AO3:

“Achoo!”

It was just Akutagawa’s luck really. Or his lack of luck, more so. Not only was he suffering from his first full-on case of the flu since he was a child (as opposed to his usually persistent cough and general sore throat), but he’d just had to come down with it smack dab in the middle of Yokohama’s worst winter in a century (or so the radio announcer kept saying). A winter that had the whole port coated in a heavy layer of white snow and a city-wide power outage that left them entirely without electricity or heat to boot.

After Atsushi’d gotten home from the Agency that evening (whose building magically did have power, go figure) - banging his heavy winter boats on the raggedy mat in the genkan and letting a blast of cold air into the stuffy, airtight apartment - they’d managed to make some chicken noodle soup from the can on a small, old camping stove Atsushi had packed away in the bottom of a box in their storage locker. Akutagawa had no clue why Atsushi would even be in possession of such a thing, but he didn’t feel like his meager curiosity on the subject was worth the trouble to go about asking into it.

He was probably only interested in the oddity because there was nothing else available to stave off the boredom, anyways. Obviously the TV was unusable, and after listening to the same radio show repeat itself for the third time on the wind-up Akutagawa had had to turn it off. He’d contemplated reading, but it was too dark out to see the pages, and they were on their last candle, so he didn’t want to waste the wax unless it was absolutely necessary. They didn’t know how long it would be until the power finally came back on, and it had already been two days. Atsushi, the idiot, hadn’t thought to buy batteries before the storm came crashing in - even though the Weather Network had been warning them about it for a week beforehand - so their flashlights were completely out of commission too.

“Here,” comes Atsushi’s voice, breaking into Akutagawa’s thoughts. He’s much closer than he’d been just a moment before, as he leans over the corner of the tabletop to swipe under Akutagawa’s red and running nose with a tissue. The movement is too fast for Akutagawa’s dimmed perception and slowed reaction-time to defend against. He manages to shove the offending hand away eventually, but at that point Atsushi has already managed to accomplish his goal.

“Jinggo-!” Cries Akutagawa, thankful that the darkness of the room obscured the way his cheeks begin to heat. “Stob doing thab. I’m nob a child.” And then, “Shub up!” when he hears the muffled laughter coming from Atsushi’s side of the kotatsu.

“Ibt’s nob funny.” He all but growls, leveling a glare at Atsushi’s retreating figure as the other man moves to clear off the table and bring their dirty dishes into the kitchen. And while he knows Atsushi can’t see the look per say, he intentionally puts as much Killing Intent into it as he can, hoping that Atsushi can at least feel the eyes throwing knife wounds into his back.

“Never said it was, Ryuu-kun.” Comes Atsushi reply, and goddammit, Akutagawa can hear the smile in his voice.

Akutagawa just lets out a huffed sound at that, crossing his arms over his chest and hunching his body up into a tight ball on the cold floor. All this arguing has warmed him up slightly (what with all the frustration and tension and god-awful embarrassment of all things) and he wiggles his numb fingers and toes as feeling begins to slowly seep back into them.

“C’mere,” murmurs Atsushi, seemingly completely unfazed by Akutagawa’s sour mood as he bundles the futon, stolen from the (currently non-heating) kotatsu, around Akutagawa’s shoulders. Akutagawa freezes as he feels Atsushi slip beneath the warmth of the heavy blanket to wrap his arms around Akutagawa’s middle, chin resting on a shoulder as they sit there, huddled together. Normally Akutagawa wouldn’t let Atsushi get away with this, but Akutagawa is cold and sick and tired. That’s the only reason why he’s permitting Atsushi to hold him so closely - he swears.

It’s then that Akutagawa realizes he’s been shivering this entire time, his shaking body a sharp contrast to the warm, still one wrapped around him. He leans his head against the top of Atsushi’s, who’s still resting his own in the crook of Akutagawa’s neck. And Atsushi responds by squeezing their bodies closer together, Akutagawa’s back pressed tightly against Atsushi’s chest.

“I’m sorry about the batteries.” Whispers Atsushi, his lips now only a hair’s breadth away from Akutagawa’s ear, his cold nose bumping against the shell of it.

“Ibt’s fine.” Sighs Akutagawa eventually - even though he’s still slightly ticked off about the whole thing - wiggling his nose in a futile attempt to clear it somewhat. He breathes out of his mouth in resignation when his efforts do absolutely nothing.

“Hmm,” is the only sound of Atsushi’s reply, as if he knows. But he doesn’t say anything more, and they fall into a (dare he say) peaceful silence as their combined body heat manages to slowly ease the shivering of Akutagawa’s frame underneath the blanket.

Once he’s finally stopped shaking, and sensation starts to return to all his extremities, Akutagawa feels Atsushi’s fingers move to play with the ratty hem of his t-shirt before slipping underneath. “At least this way you can’t ignore me for one of your books like you usually do.“

And Akutagawa thinks he should turn around and snap back a scathing retort at that. But he knows it’s more likely to make Atsushi laugh than anything else, what with the way Akutagawa’s nose is stuffed up right now; so he stays silent instead. The night is still frigid, after all. And Atsushi’s embrace is rather warm. So, Akutagawa decides, it’s better to stay put - just this once anyways. Outside the snow continues to fall.