#literally grow up that is such a narrow worldview that is so sad. do you talk to anyone in real life at all ever. do you have a grip on the

[carcinized]

fuck the internet honest to god

[munmunx5]

Thoughts on Sex Ed S3

It’s been over a week since Season 3 of Sex Education and here are some of my thoughts since it’s not considered as “spoilery” now.

I don’t think I’ve ever cried as much as I did on the show than when I was watching Episode 3x08. They hit the feels in all the right directions. I am not the biggest fan of Adam but bravo on the writers for making him so vulnerable this season that I couldn’t help but emphasize with him.

I’m all for seeing the Adam/Rahim dynamic developing more next season. Adam’s surprising Rahim time and time again this season, proving him wrong in his preconceived prejudices towards him. So much potential there. I also knew Adam/Eric weren’t going to work (sorry!). They were/are on different wavelengths. Let’s not forget that Adam bullied Eric for years... it’s just not a healthy set-up for a end-game relationship. I’ll talk more about that later.

The theme of this season? ACCEPTANCE.

- Hope’s lack of acceptance into her situation and narrow-mindedness worldview made her into an unhappy and ruthless Headmaster

- Moordale Secondary finally embracing and accepting their sexuality

- Eric finally completely accepting who he is and what he wants.

- Maureen and Aimee accepting that it is okay to be alone and that is what they need right now.

S3 was also about seeing these teenagers grow up and learn to accept the harsh realities of life.

I think people forget that these characters are only 17 years old (Maeve literally said it multiple times this season, the writers’ reminder to the viewers perhaps?!). I get so peeved when I see people saying anti-Otis, anti-Maeve sentiments. Teenagers make mistakes, they do stupid things, they regret doing these said stupid things, they break up with each other, they mend, and they fall IN LOVE (constantly). If you’ve been a teenager, you know... the angst is real. What makes this show so fun to watch is that we get to follow the lives of very flawed teenagers portrayed in a realistic and emotional way, without being overtly bashing, stereotypical or corny (like most teen dramas).

A big majority of the fandom are talking about Ruby/Otis being so amazing and end-game. That’s bullocks. It was clearly set up to be a one-time thing. It was a growing up moment for the both of them. Otis is finally embracing his own sexuality. Ruby is now finally learning how to love someone else besides her parents and herself. She was a complete arsehole and bully to everyone in Season 1 (even to her own friends). You can’t give her a free pass for all her misgivings just because she looks good with Otis or because she takes care of her sick father (btw, wouldn’t we all?). She was ashamed of her home life. She was ashamed of Otis. She was trying to control everything about Otis when they were together, to the point where he couldn’t chew his food in front of her. TOXIC relationship at it’s best. It’s real sad to me that people are obsessed with them. It just doesn’t make sense. Also, I didn’t see the chemistry. It was just teenage lust, and that was how Asa played it. There was no love on Otis’ part. Why ship a one-sided relationship?

Now, on to the foundation of the show: Otis and Maeve.

Everything falls back on them. Two words. SEX CLINIC.

They are the main reason Moordale turned into the “sex school” and the basis of the show (Eric clearly acknowledged this.) They have literally brought out the best in each other. Meave made Otis realize that he has a knack for talking to people and helping them (btw, his scene with Hope was beautiful, and I cried when I saw Jean listening on). Maeve brought him out of his shy “wallflower” bubble and into a person that people are drawn towards for advice. (Otis and Maeve both speaking up to everyone during the new SRE lectures and respectively getting kicked out was brilliant to see). Otis constantly encouraged Maeve to be the best that she could be academically and helped her to acknowledge her own brilliance (trophy from S1, anyone?). Yes, they have been selfish and have let jealously get the best of them (house party speech in S2, Maeve telling Ola that Otis is a virgin in S1...) . But that’s only human, isn’t it? Also, like most things in real life, they experienced a-many missed opportunities and bad timing with each other.

And their last scene with each other (fitting that it’s the final scene of S3):

“We have to see where we’re at when I get back.”

“So this is goodbye?”

“No, no... it’s see you soon.”

It’s left open-ended and there is no finality for the viewers. But we all know that they are meant to be. It is not yet the right timing yet for them to be together, but Maeve is emotionally strong enough to accept that, and now so is Otis.

Nothing screams endgame on the show than Otis and Maeve. The show revolves around them. I would’ve liked to see more scenes between Asa and Emma together because they have incredible chemistry but I think the writers wanted to focus on their other relationships more (and also a lot more time were spent with side characters this season). The writers also never forgot about them. We always saw the longing glances, the almost text messages/phone calls, and the conversations they have with other people about each other. Their romantic scenes were thoughtfully crafted. They made Eric (his speechlessness when Otis told him they kissed was PRICELESS) and Aimee their biggest shippers ever, which makes complete sense since they are the two people that know Otis and Maeve the best. 

Judging by Emma’s latest interview about wanting to have a scene with Gillian next season (if it happens), we know there’s a chance she’s coming back on for Season 4.

One final comment, I absolutely LOVE Miss Sands. 

[disgruntledspacedad]

in defense of Din’s subdued reaction to losing the kid...

gif by @quantam-widow

I know we were all thinking it. We got a 2 second reaction shot to the destruction of the Razor Crest (may she forever rest in peace), but then, Grogu gets taken, and... nothing?

What the fuck, Din? we all protest. That’s your baby on that ship! Don’t you care? Scream, curse, kick a rock, cry, make a fist, something!!

I will acknowledge that so far, the show has been excellent with giving us emotional payoff, am I right? I mean, just today we got Din laughing, twice. Twice in a row. I honestly never thought we’d see that. There have been so many excellent, precious soft!Din moments this season, and they all feel deliciously earned.

So, from a meta POV, I guess I’m saying that I have faith in the writers to get it right, and in Pedro to deliver. Duh.

In universe, though, I think it’s fair to point out the obvious - that Din is a pretty reserved guy. He’s much more of a thinker than a feeler. He’s used to keeping things bottled up, and I would even argue that his life often depends on his ability to dissociate from his emotions. Din’s entire journey so far has been about how one little baby yodito shakes his worldview to its very foundations. He’s getting there, but it’s a slow process. 

And also, consider this - we haven’t seen Din alone yet, not since Grogu was taken. For a guy who lives a guarded life literally encased in fucking armor, any display of emotion is going to be carefully protected until he’s in private.

But anyway, Din is detached, rational, a little emotionally constipated, and definitely comfortable in a stressful situation. A true ISTP if you ask me (yeah, I know you didn’t, but whatever). Often, it seems that these cool headed, logical types who have never ruffled a feather over anything in their lives are the least adept at handling genuine fear. In other words, when panic does strike, it strikes them hard. 

And guys, Din was definitely panicking during this episode. 

He’s clearly unsettled from the jump - that outburst of “dank farrik!” in the cockpit sells it, and his distress only becomes more obvious from there. Talking out loud, trying to convince himself that the best thing for Grogu is for him to be trained as a Jedi. Reminding himself of the creed. His overt caution as they approach the seeing stone. His impatience, “Are you seeing anything??”

Then there’s the effects of long term stress. Sure, a bounty hunter in the outer rim doesn’t exactly live an easy life, but Din is definitely used to the drama being on his terms. Compare Din’s body language in the opening scene of season one to when Boba confronts him in chapter fourteen. You can just feel the anxiety, the weariness, the frustration. Din has been on the run for months now, constantly looking over his shoulder, sleeping with one eye open. Notice how he even startles at Fennec’s voice? Season one Din would never have given that much away, regardless of the situation. Long term stress has clearly taken a toll on him.

So we have unsettled, stressed out Din in an emotionally charged situation. He’s exhausted, he’s scared, he’s desperate. This scenario is a recipe for even the most level-headed of adrenaline junkies to loose their cool, and that’s exactly what happens to Din. He panics, and he makes some pretty big fuckups because of it. Leaving Grogu unprotected, twice. Trying three different times to break through that “force field,” even when he knew he couldn’t. Dropping that jetpack and then just forgetting about it (I know we were all screaming about that one, or at least, I was).

So, fear is a positive feedback loop. Those neurotransmitters that do us good in a bad situation - raising heart rate, narrowing focus, shunting blood to the muscles - can also be detrimental if we get too high of a dose - tachypnea and tachycardia, inability to think critically and see the big picture, lack of blood and oxygen to the brain. Epinephrine, in particular, even inhibits the laying down of new memory pathways. In other words, stress leads to poor performance, and poor performance leads to more stress, which leads to... you get the idea.

Then, in the middle of all this chaos, they fucking blast the Razor Crest.

More epinephrine, more cortisol, more stress. 

By the end of it all, Din is a fucking shitstorm of stress hormones and pent up emotions. Notice how he seems to be on autopilot in the immediate aftermath, robotically scanning the ashes of the Crest for anything that might be left intact. Notice how empty his voice is when he says, “the child is gone.” This is a dead man walking. Din has nothing left. His whole life has just gone up in smoke, and he can do nothing about it. 

Guys, Din is holding onto his sanity by a fucking thread in this scene. “The child is gone,” he says, like he’s reminding himself, grounding himself in his shitty reality. He’s stunned. 

And helpless. There’s literally nothing he can do for Grogu. He has no ship, no credits, no resources, nothing to bargain with, nothing to offer. Din literally cannot allow himself the luxury of feelings right now. He’s just got to focus on surviving this very shitty day.

Then, Boba Fett upholds his end of the deal, and suddenly, Din has something to hold onto. An ally, a badass friend, some hope. I don’t think Boba shows Din that chain code in order to verify his claim on the armor - he’s already wearing it, for godssake. I think Boba shows him the code in order to catch Din’s attention - hey friend, I know you’re hurting, but I’m a man of my word. When I make a vow, I keep it. Let’s regroup and go find your kid.

And Din would totally latch onto that. A fighting chance? Din fucking leaps at it. There’s a job to do. A kid to save. All of those stress hormones are going to keep on stewing, because Din has never really come down from his adrenaline high. 

It’s like this in real life, too. There isn’t time to be afraid. There isn’t time to be sad, or second-guess, or say, oh how terrible, or wonder what if it doesn’t work? There’s just you and the job, and if you are the only thing standing between life and death, you will put everything else aside and do what you have to do, for as long as you have to do it.

And that’s where Din is at this moment. He’s running on the fumes of his adrenaline, all tempered focus, all strategy and no bullshit.

Emotional shock, my therapist buddy calls it. Apparently, it’s normal. Expected, even.

But guys, the fallout of this kind of crazy ass adrenaline high is insanely intense. I’m talking collapse to the floor, legs won't hold you, trembling, crying so hard you sling snot, shuddering breaths, stare dead-eyed and spent at the ceiling because you’re just too wiped out to even sleep kind of intense. 

And then, after the breakdown comes the angst. The detailed thinking. The oh god, what if this had happened, or, should I have done that instead? It seems like every emotion that gets put on the back burner in the moment comes back to bite you with twofold intensity when all is said and done. 

In other words, Din is definitely going to feels some things .A lot of very intense things. A reckoning is coming, my dudes. Trust me. It’s just not quite here yet.

That being said, here’s what I can expect from Din going forward:

Just like he’s is slow to acknowledge his growing parental feelings for Grogu, I think Din’s going to be slow at processing his grief at Grogu’s loss. In the next episode, he’s got plenty to distract him - getting together his hit team to take back the kid and coordinating an attack on the empire. 

However, I do think we’ll get a slow moment with Din, probably sometime at the beginning of next week’s episode if the pattern holds. I doubt it’s the full-blown breakdown that we’re all needing, but I’m willing to bet money that we’ll see Din grappling with the fact that his kid is gone. I also think that badass beskar murder machine Din from chapter three will resurface. Stress and desperation make us do irrational things, and anger is one of the stages of grief that Din will inevitably have to work through (I think he’s flickering between denial and bargaining for now).

But then, after Din gets Grogu back? I think that’s we’ll have our big, dearly earned emotional payoff. 

For one thing, Din won’t be able to deny his feelings anymore. He wants to keep this kid, it’s so very obvious. Losing him just forces it all to the forefront. 

And then the relief/joy/regret/guilt that Din is going to feel once he’s got Grogu back? Not to mention the physical exhaustion? All of the fear/terror/angst/grief that he ignored in favor of just going pedal to the metal, guns blazing, get the kid or die trying? That shit’s going to crash into him with all the subtly of a fucking tsunami. I guarantee you, we’re going to get some sort of confession, or adoption vow, or face revel, or other sort of profound softness from Dad!Din in the falling action of this season (At least, I hope we get it at the end this season but I wouldn’t put it past them to kick it into the premier of season three, just for pacing reasons, but then again, I obviously have trust issues).

Personally, I would love to see Din grappling with the long-term fallout of losing Grogu - night terrors, guilt, paranoia, etc. That’s probably the stuff of fanfiction - mandalorians don't have nightmares on screen, surely - but still, some lingering effects Grogu’s kidnapping would be realistic, and I would absolutely live for it.

[desparikon]

Murdoc/Mac + s4 distress

I really like the idea of The Merchant, Murdoc, and Helman all trapped in the black site together, but the lack of Murdoc’s screeching of ‘BFF Angus Visiting Someone Other Than Me?!?!’ was disappointing, so maybe Murdoc just...got bored and escaped.

(The Merchant is supposed to be in the black site, right? Because when Mac breaks Scarlett out, her cell looked the same, but it was in the Phoenix building. So just a case of reusing sets?)

Tonight wasn't going to be a good night.

Mac stared at the beer in his fridge. Was he really doing this? Riley and Desi had left maybe 15 minutes ago. Starting to drink now wasn’t an admission of fear of being alone with his thoughts; it was just taking advantage of the alone time.

No. No. Get involved with something else.

He shut the fridge and sighed, plodding back across the room, and up the stairs to the veranda. His many projects scattered about, in various stages of completion, mocked him. None of them were currently appealing, despite his fingers’ itch for activity. Why was he so often bored, yet could never focus long enough to see one through?

No time for idlness. The world needs saving.

Codex, the impending apocalypse, his aunt. He wanted to hate what they stood for, but deep down, admitted there was some logic to it. And he wanted the familial connection to have a solid place in the world. His dad, his mom’s good memory, his chance at any normal family members, gone. Jack, MIA. His friends wouldn’t be far behind, thanks to his growing indecisiveness and unreliability. Being alone hurt, but it was better to push them away before he burdened them with his feelings, his existence. Any deaths due to his failures already ate at him. Having any one of their deaths on him would literally kill him.

It was too heavy. His life was shattering into a million pieces, and all he could do was watch as the shards slipped through his fingers. He wanted to go back. Back to when every little thing didn't lead to catastrophe. Repairing one shard, at the expense of all the others. It was exhausting.

He couldn't fight the darkness. Not tonight. He was going to lock himself in his room, and drink as much of his hidden stash as possible. Since his brain insisted on lacking an off switch, he’d shut it down by force.

The exciting prospect of hard alcohol, and the warm, blanketing buzz it’d bring, lifted his mood. The fuzziness would come quick, and it’d be his little secret. No awkwardness. No prying. No ‘Mac, there were a dozen beers--’

The force from plowing into an unexpected obstacle jolted him into a backwards stumble.

“Attacking me already! I haven’t even done anything yet!”

“Murdoc.” His sudden appearance stunned Mac. All the time that’d passed without incident since Murdoc had escaped had left him secretly saddened that Murdoc had grown bored of him. Ironically, at a time when their worldviews were becoming closer aligned.

“Do you have to sound so disappointed?”

“I’m not disappointed, just...surprised. Thought you’d finally gotten tired of me.”

“Tired of you?” His slightly narrowed eyes and suspicious expression warned Mac that his indifferent front was failing. Murdoc was picking up on something.

Dammit! He had to be careful, and get this perfect; any sign of weakness, and Murdoc would discover everything (if he hadn’t already), and use that knowledge to give the one, final tap to destroy him.

What a waste of their cat and mouse games.

“I could never get tired of you, MacGyver. I—actually, more so you—have been busy.”

Mac retreated to the kitchen sink, hoping to find dishes, empty cans, anything, to distract him from Murdoc’s interpretation of the chaos his life had fallen into, but Murdoc followed, settling himself onto the counter.

“The Phoenix shutting down, forcing you into an ordinary life. Your genius being wasted on low-level teaching gigs. Painful. It’s a shame I wasn’t around to help.”

“I...survived.”

“As you do. But wait! From the ashes, Phoenix gets bought and reopened, returning to its former glory under new management! I love that! It’s beautiful. Gets you right here.” Murdoc patted a fist over his heart.

“You always manage to keep track of me.”

“I pride myself on being informed about your life.”

Mac rubbed the back of his neck, and shrugged his shoulders to prevent them from locking up further. Murdoc said all that so casually, like the whole time hadn’t been miserable, but most noticeable was the lack of mention about Codex or his dad’s death. Surely Murdoc still had enough connections to know of them, but maybe he didn’t realize Mac’s personal stake.

That’s what he needed. Someone who wasn’t involved in this whole train wreck. Murdoc had liked him when he’d been blinded by idealism. Maybe he’d like the new, damaged Mac. Even if he hadn’t been the cause.

“We’re besties, and I consider you and Team Phoenix to be my pet project. Speaking of, your new boss is interesting, kinda strange fit for The Phoenix, don’t you think? Can’t imagine him and Matilda get along too well. Now don’t get jealous, but I think I’d like to meet him.”

“Russ would just love that, as I’m sure the views through the cameras weren’t enough.”

“I know, I know. Everyone loves me, but I’m more impressive in person.” Murdoc directed an offended glare in his direction, “Don’t snort, Angus. You know it’s true.”

His confidence was undeterred by Mac’s knowing smile. “Also noticed that the newbie stuck around. Since she’s going to stay awhile, I think new introductions are in order.”

“Her fist to your face?”

“And Bozer made a movie! Good for him! I need to congratulate him. At his new place, since you have New Roomie Riley now. She’s too good for some tech shop. All of you. Too good for an ordinary life.”

“You’re full of compliments tonight.”

“While I wish they’d be used for better purposes, I’ve always appreciated the skills each of you have. ‘Cept when they’re being used to hunt me.”

Murdoc’s playful grin was infectious, almost making him forget that Murdoc could choose to be a threat whenever he got bored. Ugh, so cute. It was embarrassing how attractive he found Murdoc, even just physically.

“By the way, when’s she moving to Desiree’s? Seriously. Took them forever to leave. I was starting to think I’d have to sneak in through the rooftop portal in your room.”

Typical Murdoc, pleased to talk about stalking, and breaking and entering. The eagerness to talk to Mac hadn’t changed, and it made him smile, even as guilt began creeping in. He’d said terrible things to Murdoc, personal attacks that weren’t necessary, and at times when it’d been uncalled for. How long had he railed Murdoc when they’d gone to Colombia? And how could he forget how the viciousness he’d directed at Murdoc, even after he’d already surrendered to Phoenix’s custody? After everything, why did Murdoc still like him so much?

“When’s it my turn to be nosy?”

“You want to know more about me?! Ohmygosh, this is-- I’m going to cry.” Murdoc fake sniffled, his eyes gleaming with excitement.

“Two things?”  

“Shoot.”

“OK, how’d you escape?”

“A magician never reveals his secrets.”

Mac mirrored Murdoc’s smirk. “C’mon. Never? Even if it’d impress the audience?”

Murdoc smiled, despite a huff. “Is it more impressive that I didn’t plan it? Saw the opportunity, and took it. Improvised. Y’know, I think you’ve been a bigger influence on me than I realized.”

“Can you really call it an opportunity, though? Since you had to kill every other person in the building.”

“Oh, I can’t take credit for all that. Just Helman.”

“What? How…? You were the only survivor.”

Murdoc waved a dismissive hand at Mac’s bewilderedness, “I didn’t waste my time on the guards; they weren’t in my way. Everyone was too busy shooting each other, even before lights went out, or the “critical system failure”. This could come back to bite me, but you might want to tell your new boss to be a little more careful about who he hires in the future.”

Power failure? Infighting?

Codex. Could they have orchestrated Murdoc’s escape? Why? They’d never successfully recruit him, even if they demanded him to repaid a debt. And despite his thrill for violence, he wouldn’t be a good fit. He doesn’t get along with people, and definitely wouldn’t care for saving the world, or complying with a shadowy leader’s orders. Too chaotic, cynical, independent--

“What’s the second thing? Hopefully, something more interesting like, ‘The next time we team up…’”

“Why haven’t you taken Cassian?”

Murdoc’s hands curled around the edge of the counter, his knuckles paling from the force. “I don’t know where he is. With Matilda’s knack for hiding things, and your dad’s connections, it’s difficult. But it’s only a matter of time.”

“No.”

“Don’t worry, I know you don’t know. They bring him to you. Smart.”

“Lie! You’re lying! And at this point. You think I don’t – This is important! Murdoc!”

Mac didn’t bother to hide his aggravation. He’d speculated, and come to a conclusion that hit hard, especially now that he was dealing with the loss of his own dad. He needed to hear it from Murdoc, even if it was a confirmation.

“You should be happy! You said yourself that the best thing I could ever do was get away from him! What, you think I wasn’t listening?! To any of that?? You didn’t give me much choice.”

“I know!” Murdoc’s eyelids did that twitch of sadness that absolutely killed him. “I know.” Mac blinked against the tears welling up.

He couldn’t take it back, couldn’t take back the fact that he’d gone along with the punishment of taking away Cassian’s visits, effectively leading to the destruction of the only good thing in Murdoc’s life. And he’d taken Murdoc away from Cassian, who still loved his dad, had good memories of him, and happily talked about him.

Mac understood now, that he’d ruined everything.

“It wasn’t just what you said...I saw how happy he was, and realized that I’ll have to be happy with watching from afar.”

“For the rest of his life?”

“People like me don’t get a happy ending. I’ll always be running, hiding in the shadows, until the day I die. I did that. I trapped myself, and I’m not going to destroy Cassian’s life too.”

“But he needs you. You’re a part of him.”

“Does it make you feel better to have your dad back in your life after all this time? Because it doesn’t seem like it, judging by your rocky relationship. Is it worth it to have to say goodbye twice? Three times? Every single time it doesn’t work out?”

A few tears escaped down Mac’s face. "Every effort counts. Every minute counts! Even if you think he’ll hate you. Even if he says he hates you!! It. Doesn’t. Matter. You can’t get time back. Show him you care! Tell him the truth if he asks! Maybe he’ll say he wants nothing to do with you, but at least then, when you die, maybe he’ll have less questions and regrets. Don’t abandon him! Don’t leave him to wonder what--”

Mac fought to keep his voice steady around the lump in his throat. "—what would’ve happened if you’d come back sooner." He clapped a hand over his mouth to hide his quivering lip.

Don’t cry in front of Murdoc. Don’t cry in front of Murdoc. Don’t cry--

Mac hugged Murdoc, burying his face into Murdoc's shoulder to stifle his sobs. He couldn’t handle seeing Murdoc’s disappointment at his intellectual equal, his foil, his desired companion, broken and weak, and hanging all over him. Pathetic.

Murdoc’s arms hesitantly wrapped around him, and in the most sincere tone Mac had ever heard him use, whispered, “I’m sorry.”

[smokeybrand]

Aioli

You ever just hear your white friends say some sh*t and just straight up embarrassed? Like, their naive entitlement just let’s some woefully ignorant bullsh*t, diarrhea from their mouths? A friend of mine used to occasionally do that sh*t when we were at work and, being the ethnically diverse ass group we were, Mexican, Thai, White, Black, Brazilian, Indian, Hmong, with completely different class backgrounds and life experiences, we were able to educate this dude with different perspective. It was a proper debate that, i think, helped him grow as a person. Then my dude moved to Idaho where ninety percent of the people there, look like him and have Mormon money. Dude has no buffer and has been sounding off about the most superficial, Caucasian, ass narratives, being spewed by the Fox propaganda machine.

Admittedly, dude as a pretty Gun-ho America, Hoorah, kind of a guy. HE served in the army and actually enjoyed that lifestyle. He reveres his grandfather sh he admitted was a violent bigot so there might be underlying prejudices there. Even so, dude loves a fat butt, the NBA, and is pretty open to having his mind changed with proper debate. That’s why i like him. Dude understands he comes from a place of privilege and actively works to better understand those who didn’t have that advantage. Since his move, however, cat is stuck in a bleached out echo chamber and is slowly transforming into one of those people. Idaho is a red state, one of the reddest in the union. A lot of that, i think, has to do with the Mormon influence. That sh*t is basically Utah jr. There are certain things in that “religion” which lend itself to the backwards nature of conservative ideology. This isn’t me sh*tting on conservatives, like, the ones with sense. I don’t understand how we can move forward, if we’re constantly looking back. The past four years has shown me that the looking back means literally dismantling every social progression we’ve made thus far, returning to a “White is Right” mentality here. Again, not every conservative acts this way but there are enough who believe this racist, ignorant, bullsh*t to shuffled 45 into office and Idaho helped with that.

That’s the world my dude lives in now. He was already easily influenced by his pops, who had some rather racist views, himself, but my guy had the wherewithal to get other, more melanated perspectives before he made up his mind. Dude doesn’t have that option in Idaho anymore. I think this is what radicalization looks like in real-time and it’s sad because all he needs to do is listen. Slow, methodical, bombardment of narrow worldviews and Idaho life is one of the narrowest. Idaho is the sixth whitest state in the union. All you’ll hear is that very eggshell colored perspective. Hard to diversify your opinion when you don’t have any diversity in the entire state. I honestly believe, in order to have a well-rounded opinion about anything, you must listen to as many sources as possible and approach everything with a healthy dose of skepticism. You take that berth of information and whittle it down to something that makes sense to you. More than anything, you need to be informed in your convictions. That was never his strength, though. He put way too much stock in the word of his pops but we were there to diversify that one opinion and give him several from which to build a consensus. I imagine that’s not really happening in Idaho with just his ma and step-pops. There’s no more melting pot, just a big ass bowl of lily white mayonnaise.

[meganforfreedom]

Dear Christians,

We avoid our feelings, and it’s killing us!

It has taken me the last 6 years of my life but I’ve noticed something -- something distressing about the way I have been taught to view emotions as a Christian. It has also taken me 6 years to adequately process what I have been taught and how it has impacted my life. What you are about to read is just a sliver of my own journey that I now feel ready to share. It contains some of what I’ve observed, what I’ve been resistant to, what I’ve tried, and where it has all brought me now 6 years later. It is my hope to provoke deeper thinking and exploration for any who happen to read this.

These words are addressed to those of you who would consider themselves “Christians.” It may challenge what you believe or how you go about living a transformed Christian life. I do intend to probe some of the principles with which we may feel both familiar and comfortable to uncover different ideas about how we pursue emotional wholeness in the pursuit of Christ-likeness.

Here’s what I’ve heard - A LOT

This may not match your experience of Christian teaching but here is what I have observed from my own Westernized, privileged, American experience of Christianity. We have a particular ethos as to what the Jesus’ followin’ life is to look like. I have heard it expressed in ways like this:

We are supposed to look like Jesus on the earth. We should be the best version of ourselves. We are to love. We are to live the empowered life in which Jesus has given us access. We are to maximize our potential. We are to advance God’s Kingdom. We are to live out the fullest expression of God’s purpose for our lives. We must live for Him and not for ourselves. We must surrender. We must be obedient. Each one of us would choose our own language, but what I typically hear sounds something like one of these statements. [Other thoughts on the goal of the Christian life from a non-Westernized, non-privileged, non-American point of view is entirely different blog post. I realize my VERY limited and narrow perspective here]

These are the kinds of things we say that we are after. Also, we really do the best we know how to actualize these intentions and desires with the knowledge, the tools, and the awareness that we have. We focus our teaching on what scripture says about being rooted in an identity in Christ and God’s promises for us. The beliefs and approaches that I hear emphasized most often as to HOW we go about this include things like this:

Surrender your will to God (Luke 22:42)

Take your thoughts captive (II Corinthians 10:5)

Renew the mind (Romans 12:2)

Look forward and not backward, forget the past (Philippians 3:13-14)

Get yourself out of the way (Romans 13:!4) (in other words sometimes, it’s selfish to consider your own needs)

Put off the old, take on the new (Ephesians 4:22)

Exchange lies for the truth, if you know the truth, you will grow and change (Romans 1:25)

There may be others you might add ...

These are the strategies to “a powerful Christian life” which hold the Sunday platform and the morning devotional. Don’t get me wrong, there are beautiful truths and practices here which are A PART of the transformation journey. They can lead us into growth, experiences of freedom and joy. But our methods to activate these scriptural truths are typically reductionistic at best. They are important but incomplete. We make our best attempts to apply these truths in pursuit of the transformed Christian life and our results are behavior modification at best. We can try and try and try, in our own strength, with a very incomplete process, and be left (1) exhausted and (2) very frustrated to experience same issues over and over again, no changes. This can ultimately lead to a cycle of despair in the way we view ourselves, the church, God, etc. when these efforts don’t lead anywhere. I’ve been there myself plenty of times.

Time Out

There is something else I have noticed that plays a big role in this conversation, or lack thereof. That is how we are taught to view emotions. The teaching I hear encourages us to engage in the transformed life which Christ has freely given to us by His death and resurrection (the gospel) but often discourages us from considering our emotional life or needs in that process. Do we realize that when we do this, we are overlooking an integral part of the spiritual life altogether? Do we not see that this is a big problem?  

I love studying growth and transformation. I consider myself somewhat of transformation junkie. I’ve spent the last 10 years reading and listening to anything I can get my hands on regarding spiritual growth, character development, spiritual wholeness, and the psychology of how people change. I’ve been involved in inner healing, deliverance ministry, and providing spiritual direction. I have seen beautiful things and troublesome things in some of these schools of thought. There is powerful material from all kinds of different philosophies about how this all works, but as I’ve scoured the modern Christian materials and listen to the typical Sunday sermon, I see this recurring theme emphasized over and over again: You cannot live by your emotions.

Here is a brief listing of the kinds of ideas used to further substantiate this:

Our emotions change from one minute to the next, we cannot trust them more than God or the Bible.

We are not supposed to live by our emotions, we are supposed to live by faith!

Put no confidence in the flesh (Phil 3:3)

If we are not fixed in God’s truth, our emotions will cause us to fall for anything.

Gosh, when we put it like this, it sounds like we really have no value for our emotions! When in reality, our emotional life is actually a huge part of who we are. So when the majority of what we are taught from a Christian worldview regarding the emotional life sounds like these statements, it is no wonder that we (1) develop a very negative view of emotions, (2) have no awareness of our emotional state of being, and (3) do not develop a healthy process of what to do with our emotions or how to involve them in our life with God. If a random person were to study the majority of content of Christian teaching today, they would probably conclude that emotions are misleading, they get in the way, they betray us and we cannot trust them. They pull us away from God. Furthermore, we label emotions as positive or negative and break them up into a binary construct of the ones God wants us to feel and the ones he doesn’t. Emotions like joy, peace, love, gratitude, and confidence are the positive ones that we should feel. Emotions like anger, sadness, pain, disappointment, despair, doubt, hopelessness, these are the bad emotions that we are not supposed to feel.

We further substantiate some of this ideology with thoughts like this:

Why would I ever talk about the pain of my past when I am a new creation?

Pain, anger, sorrow – none of these exist in heaven so why should they exist on earth?

Whatever is lovely, think upon these things … (Phil 4:8)

Satan oppresses us with negative emotions. 

What are we saying? What aren’t we saying?

Essentially when this is the extent of what we are taught about our emotional lives, there is a significant part of the human self that we are excluding from the conversation about the transformation journey and that we are ultimately devaluing. Furthermore, this part of the human self for which we show a general lack of value, is one that God created and I’m certain he values it greatly.

As a part of the larger conversation about Christianity and the emotional life, what I do not hear much teaching about is how we DO understand the purpose of our emotions that God gave to us. I don’t hear about how emotional health and wholeness are a part of our pursuit of Christ-likeness, how they connect to the gospel, and how they are essential to lasting transformation.  

What does this lead to?  

This leads to stunted Christian lives which are very based in cognitive transformation, in other words: “I know what is true and I know how to get there. All I need to do is change my thinking and my behavior will change. I just need to do better, I just need to try harder.  No matter what anxiety, fear, defeat, insecurity I experience in what I’m working towards, I must simply renounce those feelings and keep pressing on.” The power of the human will becomes the device we use to fight this battle. Guess what? These devices will at some point fail us. All of them! They are just not that strong or lasting. Furthermore, emotions don’t work this way. When we think we are putting our emotions off, we are actually repressing them. This means that they still exist but they are getting “stowed away” in some deep recess that will eventually find a voice. When it does, it is oftentimes to the detriment of ourselves or others. Pain always speaks. Always! Then we find ourselves surprised about the things that leak out of us and where they come from when we had no awareness all along of the cues we should have been paying attention to. Our lack of awareness prevents us from having the opportunity to process things in healthier ways and to also include God in this process.

We can do this all we want, knowing so much about how to live the Christian life but still have addictions, have secrets, do things to numb out from life, hide from each other, live out of codependency, gossip, bully others, avoid confrontation, refuse to listen, manipulate others, shut down or lash out when conversations get too hard, etc. These are all typically symptoms of underlying issues which need to be more fully addressed to find healing, health, and transformation. When we experience emotional reactions, we learn to disregard them, to shut them down, to avoid them, to hide them, and to be ashamed of them. When we do this, we literally dislocate and dissociate ourselves from a major part of how we are designed to live. It kills us! We don’t look very Christ-like because of this. We go on to pursue powerful Christian lives and unknowingly remain emotional toddlers.  

My Story

Back to my 6 year saga...I have spent this time asking all of these questions and also “doing a journey inward” to explore my own emotional life more deeply. I have had to acknowledge the ways that I have disengaged from my own emotional life, how I have devalued this part of who I am, and the damage it has done to my life as a whole person, to my relationships, and to my spiritual life with God. I have been challenged to open myself up and to engage with my own heart in much deeper, more vulnerable ways. I have been pressed to express all that I have discovered on my way before God and others in my life. I painfully deconstructed what I have been taught and what I have believed. I have been very resistant to this process and it has moved slowly for me. I have also had to face what I have taught others to do as a spiritual leader to follow in my unhealthy example. It has been messy and even excruciating at times to endure this process of exploration, but I believe that I have taken steps forward to integrate a healthier sense of self-awareness, emotional honesty, and well-being into my pursuit of freedom in Christ. My spiritual life feels so much richer, fuller, and freer than it has ever felt before. Most of the changes I have experienced as a person came when finally began to allow God and others into every part of who I am. Is this not what we were really created for? -- intimacy and union with God.

What else?

I have to admit that I do agree that our emotional life makes up just one facet of who we are. We cannot live healthy, whole lives when we operate out of one facet of ourselves without the other facets also being involved. Cognitive and behavioral efforts are important too. Emotions can be consuming and pull us into unhealthy places. They need to be acknowledged, named, experienced, processed, and informed by other parts of the human self. And God holds his place at the center of this for sure!

But the way we address this now has got to change! Our intentions may be good but I believe what we hope to prevent in our efforts actually violates God’s design for us. Our emotions (all of them) are not at war with God, they are a primary component of how we are designed. Scripture is even wrought with descriptions of the emotions God feels. They are a gift to us. The very darkest place of what we believe and what we feel are exactly where we need God and each other the most. Our transformation is found as we enter into those places with honesty and courage.  

Furthermore, I also believe that the byproduct of devaluing our emotional selves is playing out in our society and in the world in destructive ways. There is so much more to be said about this that I won’t tackle at this time. But this is also a big part of why I feel the need to voice my thoughts here. I truly believe that recovering a healthy practice of self-awareness and integration of emotional wholeness into your lives is vital to our progress as a human race. Our perspective of spirituality and transformation needs to address this. Bear in mind that any human person’s journey of emotional health is impacted by man other things besides religious teaching. Our family of origin experiences, cultural experiences, socioeconomic experiences, medical/health factors, and so many more variables all play a role together, but the church can often reinforce dysfunctional views and behaviors that we learned already somewhere else. This is a whole other can of worms.

What are we supposed to do then?  

Some of you may be thinking, Megan, you’re spouting off all of these opinions about what is wrong but you’re not offering any solutions! I hear you. The purpose of this is to start a conversation, to address a problem, and provoke us to rethink what we’ve been taught so that we can look at this in a new way. The truth is, I think that the Christian world does not do a strong job of this because we don’t know how. We can’t teach what we don’t know. We don’t even have language for it and this has to change. My hope is to continue to develop more content which addresses where we can go from here and to be a voice for what the integrated life can really be. One of my biggest passions in life is to contribute towards ways that we integrate emotional health into spirituality. There were times in history of Christianity were we didn’t see so much of a dissociation between these two worlds and I want to be a part of how we recover that in our modern age.

More to come!

Thanks for reading

[entamewitchlulu]

On the Essence of Recovery: The Necessity of Arc V’s Unsatisfactory Ending

So, lately, I've been rewatching Penguindrum.  I've also been reading a lot of analyses of Penguindrum, and in turn I've been looking up analyses of some of my other favorite surrealist anime, mostly Ikuhara's work.  And remembering how Penguindrum ended, I found myself thinking about how almost all of Ikuhara's main works end sort of...bittersweet.  Progress has been made, but something huge has been lost as well, leaving the end feeling almost unsatisfactory.

And that's gotten me to thinking about analyzing shows that have similar endings, that aren't necessarily made to be...well, as dense as that particular brand of anime.  Specifically, I've been thinking about Arc V, and again about the ending that left a lot of people upset.  I was and still am to a point one of those people who was disappointed with how it ended, but looking back at it in hindsight, and especially through the lens of the previously mentioned anime, I wondered if maybe there was something more to the decision than first appeared.

Now before I start the actual meat of this post, let me disclaim that I would be among the first to admit that it's probably “not that deep.” But there's the distinct possibility that it is, and regardless of whether my conclusions were intended conclusions, the act of analyzing fiction against one's own individual interpretation is an important final step in the process of any creative endeavor.

Without spoilers, let me briefly talk about the anime I mentioned up above. Penguindrum is at its surface level a hilariously silly and ridiculous anime.  The main characters are followed around by odd penguins and their sister is possessed by a penguin hat.  But it is also an intensely deep anime, about family, fate, sacrifice, and unconditional love, which culminates to a sad, but ultimately inevitable end.  The sacrifices that are made at the end are hard, upsetting, and honestly upon my first watch through I was quite upset about it.  It didn't seem fair. I experienced similar reactions to the endings of Ikuhara's other works, as well as Arc V.  

But for Ikuhara's works, the unsatisfactory endings where something was lost in exchange for something gained, there was a thematic importance to the decision to make those endings, and I think Arc V is the same.  But to understand that thematic importance, first we must examine what the major theme of Arc V is.

In my humble opinion and in light of the ending, I think the theme of Arc V is recovery.

Certainly there are other themes, both major and minor.  The title theme of “take a step forward with courage,” is one, the idea of spreading smiles is another.  But I believe both of these and many of the other threads tie into the major, overarching and unspoken theme of “recovery.”

Yuya is introduced to us right away as a depressed child.  I don’t think there’s any way you can get around this, it’s just shy of them telling us straight out in canon.  He’s been bullied, he’s suffered terribly from the mysterious loss of his father, he’s been ostracized and held up against his dad since he was nine.  His mother says that he’s “put on the mask of a clown,” laughing at himself before others can as a self-defense mechanism.

Yuya is a hugely flawed character in the first half of the series, especially in the first season.  He is basically a living embodiment of bad coping mechanisms held together by denial.  He hides himself away when he’s hurt or upset rather than addressing the thing that’s upset him.  He gets defensive and upset when someone else Pendulum Summons, something that he was using as a crutch to make himself feel like he was worth something.  He jokes around and tries to force Entertainment instead of feeling it himself.  He forces himself to laugh to avoid facing the possibility that he is actually not okay.  He tries to force his beliefs on others in order to make himself feel like he and the tenets he clings to are actually worth something.  And very often, his attempts at avoiding his problems backfire.

Throughout the series, these issues are addressed, one thing at a time.  His talk with Shuzo helps him understand that Pendulum Summons themselves aren’t what makes him special, it’s how he continues to move forward in the future and make use of the opportunity that they gave him.  His mother encourages him to not let his anger eat him up and to continue trying to do his best without forgetting who he wants to be.  He realizes through his interactions with Jack that he was trying to force his feelings instead of just relaxing and letting go of his self-inhibitors. His Synchro character arc helps him learn how to see outside himself  and meet others where they’re at instead of seeing through his own narrowed worldview.  He is growing, changing, and healing.  He is moving out of the shadow of his father that he's crunched himself beneath and learning to stand on his own feet again.

In the third season and part of season four, we see that Yuya is, despite his situation, reaching a healthy place mentally.  His long periods of depression interspersed with highs of determination from Synchro are all but gone, leaving him at a fairly steady emotional level.  He stays true to his convictions, remains light and cheerful, and meets people where they’re at instead of viewing them from his own situation.  Yuya is healing.

Then in the tail end of the Fusion arc, we learn the final major twist: that of the existence of Zarc and Ray.  And in that discovery, we realize that this was never just about Yuya's recovery.  

Zarc, who through flashbacks and seeing bits of him in Yuya throughout the series, was just as or even more broken than Yuya ever was.  He was a lonely, desperate young man who wanted what Yuya wanted, to be able to be happy and smile and make everyone else happy with what he was doing, too.  But he was pushed too far, he didn’t have the emotional support network that Yuya did, and he and his dragons simply fed into each other’s anger and distress until they reached a breaking point, until Ray came along and literally broke him into pieces.

And then I think it’s clear enough if you take a watch through the last part of Arc V.  That whole last arc is about Yuya accepting that he is Zarc, but not only that, but accepting his healing.  Zarc was broken—so was Yuya.  Yuya learned how to grow and develop and work with his issues.  Zarc didn’t get the chance, and Yuya’s final arc is his final step for both him and Zarc to heal.  I don’t think it’s any surprise that there are two other important characters in this arc who reach some level of recovery.  Shun finds it in himself to start healing the fractures in his heart that he has harbored all this time (there was another very good post I read once about Shun’s arc following the stages of grief, which I will attempt to find and link here).  Dennis finally finds acceptance and enough security to pull off the mask that he’s kept on for self-preservation for so long.  These are two incredibly powerful writing decisions, and their place in this part of the narrative really implies to me that Arc V is reaching its thematic conclusion on the themes of recovery.

I think it's important to note before we continue that these are not the only characters who experience the need for or the arc of recovery.  Reiji is presented as a very emotionally suppressed young man devastated by the breaking down of his family.  Reira's entire character arc in Synchro is about him healing from the PTSD and loss of identity he experienced from a combination of war and abuse. Sora, and to a lesser extent Selena, are child soldiers recovering slowly from indoctrination through interaction with people outside of their “cult.”  Edo presents a more violent response to the attempt to recover, bucking and fighting against the healing offered to him until the end.  I feel that there are even more characters that we could apply this theme to, and it would easily make sense.

Finally, then, we reach the ultimate end, which spurred this meta in the first place: the contentious ending where Yuya and Yuzu do not split from their other selves, but instead remain a single fused person.  If we continue this analogy that the essence of Arc V is recovery, then…in a strange, bittersweet, and sad way, it makes perfect sense to me.

One of the things I hear a lot about recovery is that, people who have been through horrible mental illnesses or trauma should not expect of themselves to be the person that they were before the illness or trauma occurred.  To search for that is to find yourself trapped, because you can’t go back, and you will ruin yourself in a cycle of trying to retrieve something that can't be again.  That's not necessarily a bad thing, though; you are still you, but you are going to be a new you.  To me, that’s exactly what’s happening in Arc V.

Zarc cannot go back to being Zarc.  What happened to him was literally too shattering.  But he, through Yuya, found healing, and literally mended himself back together.  But he’s not Zarc anymore, now, he’s Yuya.  Yuya and Yuzu are, by word of canon, actually Zarc and Ray, but they are different, now, too.  It's incredibly telling that Yuya's final arc is about him accepting himself as being Zarc, but moving forward into being him, as well.  Recovery and healing doesn’t bring you back to the person you were.  It brings you to the new person that you can be once you’ve accepted what happened to you, and start working on the things that were holding you back.  In this manner, Zarc and Ray can't go back to being themselves, but they have been able to put themselves back together in order to give themselves a second chance as Yuya and Yuzu.

So yes…it is still incredibly sad to me that the girls and boys were not able to separate, but in the themes that I feel Arc V was trying to promote, it makes sense.  Something was lost, yes, and it hurts a lot, but something was gained as well. It's the same feeling I had of the end of Penguindrum: something incredibly precious was lost, and yet there is hope in what was gained.  I feel that the overall gut punch of Arc V was a little more intense, though, as where Penguindrum never exactly pulled away from the fact that their characters were the tools for the fable to tell the story, Arc V never pretended that their characters were anything other than living humans.  My own much heavier emotional entanglement with the Arc V cast made the ending much harder.  (It should be noted, as well, that Arc V is not the first Yu-Gi-Oh iteration to take characters away from us at the end, or end with a bittersweet tone where something was lost in exchange for something gained.)

In conclusion, reading Arc V in this light actually gave me a lot more closure about the ending.  I will quite honestly always be a little sad about it, and I will always wish that there had been a different ending.  I'll always choose to ignore it when writing my own personal canon, haha.  But I also feel in the light of this analysis that Arc V couldn't have ended any other way, or it would not have been the same story.  For the story that they were trying to tell, for the theme that was being presented, it was the ending that needed to be told.

Recovery is not an easy process, and nor is it always a happy one.  There is always something sad about recovering and about realizing what you lost along the way.  But there is hope at the end of it as well, about the new future that you can now reach for.  It's the eternal duality of sadness and joy that comes with the act of living.  “Take a step forward with courage,” is the what the summary says is the theme of Arc V, and that, I think, is the best tagline for recovery I can think of.

Go forward, because there is no going back.  And there is nothing wrong with that.

[nightrainlily]

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DAY TWO: A KILO OF KöRSBäR/SOME THOUGHTS ON IMMIGRATION POLICY

my last trip to Sweden was such a whirlwind, so shocking and alien, that I’m feeling rather empty and dumb here now. I remember having so much to say in my first few blog posts, so full of epiphanies. now, I’m struck by a sense of familiarity, rather than disbelief and wonder. of course, Sweden is no less wonderful; rather, I am accustomed to its beauty, which is both sad and comforting. every single thing was so new and exciting I felt that I could write paragraphs about each one.

which is exactly what I did, but facts aside, the feeling itself of returning to a place you remember as if from another life is like being in a nice dream. when I woke up this morning to the sun rising, I remembered that I slept better here than anywhere else, because there is no sound—I’ve never experienced such perfect silence as that of Nyhamnsläge. the air smelled like the sea and the branches waved good morning from outside the open window. I saw Celia making coffee in the kitchen and knew there was Oatly jordgubb yoghurt waiting for me in the fridge. literally since the moment I woke up, I’ve found myself smiling at the beautiful scenery, at the people I didn’t realize I missed, at the excitement I’m feeling about being in Sweden again.

a motif: someone will start to tell a story, and I’ll say, I remember that, I remember that fact or story or conversation. since coming to Sweden, I’ve been consistently able to recognize the language when it’s being spoken around me, which is rare, but I picked up very little in my time here. the words I do remember are for strawberry (jordgubbe), raspberry (hallon), blueberry (blåbär), wild strawberry (smultron), cherry (körsbär), and ice cream (glass). you can tell where my priorities were, and are.

of course, I can also say “takk” and “varsågod” like any good houseguest, but I don’t think I can count to eight like I used to. even though I basically gave up on learning swedish when I arrived, I still picked up a few words in my time here. I imagine that if I spent a year here, and dedicated myself to understanding and speaking, I might be able to speak passable swedish. Amalia keeps telling me “you’re a native!” when I say “hej” to every passing neighbor. I told Joelle to try it, because it makes you feel really good when someone says “hej hej” back and thinks you’re a Swede for a half second.

we went for a hike up the mountain where we snorkeled last time. the trees were so green and the ocean was so blue. everything here, from the houses to the sky to the people, is just a little more vibrant. I remember being so pleased with the blue-green hues of Sweden on my last trip, and I’m pleased to report that they haven’t faded one bit.

Joelle and I went for a run this morning along the same path that I ran two summers ago. I took a snapchat video at the same tree-lined stretch. Amalia has been gone for a whole year on exchange in Australia and she said nothing changed while she was away. I have to agree; this place seems untouched by the chaos of the changing political, economic, and societal planes. while of course I have a surface-level view of Sweden, from a single small village for a short period of time, I still hope that this observation holds true—that Sweden can hold out against the pressures of racism and bigotry that grip America and other nations around the world.

but I’m told that Sweden, too, is headed for a more harsh policy on immigration and naturalization of refugees. I’m going to try to get this part right, even though I’m obviously not a native and have a limited view of the laws surrounding this issue. I recently read a New York Times article (https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/01/world/europe/denmark-immigrant-ghettos.html) that detailed the proposed new immigration processes for Danish migrants. the most striking facet of the legislation is the required separation of “ghetto children” from their families for education in Danish culture, traditions, and values. many Danish citizens feel that their culture is being diluted by the heavy influx of refugees, most of them Muslim, due to the language barriers and unwillingness of immigrants to assimilate into mainstream Danish society. their systems, and that of other Nordic nations, crafted for small homogeneous populations, have bent and buckled under the weight of immigrant populations, often seeking asylum from war. while they have previously had more liberal immigration policies, many Nordic countries were struggling with loud dissent as early as 2012 from their right-wing parties, who suggested and then implemented the reduction of immigrants’ rights.

Swedish elections are coming up, and it seems likely that their conservative party, with conservative views on border control, will win either the majority or at least a good amount of seats in the government. if a minor comes to Sweden, it is the right of their family to join them, a loophole which is often abused by immigrant families. refugees cannot work until they obtain a visa, a process that, while incomparable to the states’ nearly impossible and nearly infinite own visa procedure, takes a good amount of time. during that purgatory period, they receive welfare and support from the programs put in place to act as a safety net for Swedish citizens. Swedes who pay into these systems are voicing their concerns about immigrants using this welfare to avoid work and maintain housing, etc. they have also had issues with migrant smugglers, who inflict human rights violations on their charges and pocket their welfare benefits in exchange for safe passage into Sweden. because Denmark and other countries have recently narrowed their policies, Sweden has taken on more immigrants than ever, and the problems have worsened in turn.

these nations are among the world’s richest, happiest, and most stable. but they’re quickly becoming divided over issues of refugee policy, and Sweden faces an upcoming fork in the road. are Nordic countries so successful and copacetic because their populations are bound by ethnic and cultural ties? or do their programs simply need to be retrofitted to serve a growing population? are increases in crime, gang violence, and racial tensions due entirely to the refugee crisis, or is it just one cause among many?

the Swedish welfare state is oft cited as a model for success by democratic parties in western countries. but these systems would have to be modified for larger communities, communities which are extremely diverse and come from wildly disparate backgrounds. if they do indeed depend on the sense of community each member feels with another, it’s unclear if they’re scaleable at all. but I applaud the Swedes for attempting to accommodate the victims of war.

some resources:

1. https://www.government.se/491b2f/contentassets/84c1ec8c729f4be384a5ba6dddeb0606/swedens-migration-and-asylum-policy

2. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2015/09/09/when-it-comes-to-refugees-scandinavia-isnt-quite-the-promised-land/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.14d166335a1f

to switch gears entirely: this afternoon Joelle, Amalia, and I picked black cherries from a tree. we didn’t even make a dent, and we brought home two large brown paper bags (I say “brought home” because we ate about as many as we picked). and today on our hike, we ate wild raspberries growing on the side of the road. if you know me, you know that I worship at the alter of fruit, especially berries. cherries at home are so expensive and so often mealy or not sweet that I never counted them as one of my favorite fruits, but these babies are succulent and juicy and syrupy. I can’t describe how overjoyed I feel when I pluck a cherry off a branch and pop it directly into my mouth. it feels so good. so, so good.

dinner is calling, despite the kilo of cherries I just consumed. wish me luck,

amaya

1. Après Moi - Regina Spektor

2. Hello Cruel World - Dent May

3. Outside of Space and Time - David Byrne and St. Vincent

4. Living in America - The Sounds

5. July Jones - The New Pornographers