#SORRY THIS IS SO MEAN IM JSUT. GOD ITS SO STUPID.

[carcinized]

fuck the internet honest to god

[gayspock]

ehr

its also crazy how i manage to suck at everything sometimes i think every time i try i jsut get worse and ifeel just like dogshit because it seems to be everything, no matter what i do. and i think its funny when ppl say you just need to keep at it, or they try to help me and then they see me =actually making a god honest attempt at something for like even for 10 seconds and theres this instant burning anger, annoyance and frustration at how much im cocking it all up. and if i mention this will happen to them,apparently im stupid and overdramatic and insane andyet every single time it happens without fail. smiley emoji. i wish i could just do something and its not like i have to be anything brilliant i wish i could do something and just get some satisfaction or some feel some kind of relief or like wow i did a good job for once but i dont have enjoyment for anyhting any more and even if i can manage to feel some of it i jsut get overwhelmed with frustration and upset or someone brings me back down to reality and its jsut mortifying and humiliating all at once . and i wish it didnt have to be like that and again and again its one of those things "youre being too sensitive you're being x y z you have to fail at first" its like i feel myself fucking start to just lose it because god!!! god do i FUCKING. KNOW. THAT. whatever like okay i wont get mad whatever its like i know that i fucking know that i have to keep trying ive been told that for the past 20 fucking years or whatever just itsjsut too much to fucking get through any more. when its everything, all the fucking time, over and over and voer again. no matter how hard i try. and its always just a game of diminishing return, where its just activelyt making me so fucking miseranle and its just when everything else in life is so fucking lacking and youre so fucking alone. i feel so fucking pathetic at it that i keep having towork so much harder and spend so much more time and energy just to fucking find myself in mediocrity and have to consider that a win and. like i cant fucking find the strength of conviction or whateer to have to repeatedly eat dogshit and i keep thinking abouthow thats even worse to everyone that i am the failure the giver upper does anytone feel a bit nuts sometimes. forgive the childishnessbut i fuckgin hate being alive so fucking much i fucking hate havingto do it all and do i t all alone and cry alone and be msierable alone and the second you cant take it any mroe youre just a fucking loser and a failure and a quitter and theres this just fucking feeling of jsut like. youre so not fucking worth it. do youknow what i mean. i keep thinking abotu how you just have to keep doing it for fuckingforever and not have anyone fucking there and to do what to do fucking what to prove whatto people who dont reallycare when the reality is if i fucking end it nwo im going to be so fukcing happy finally and like even if i didnt . i dont fucking know man you know that fucking disco elysium quote . sorry THIS is cringe . "but i dont want to getmy shit together" (any more) (because i cant fucking do it and i dont have it in me any more to keep trying to do it because it gwets me nowhere and theres no one to care etc. etc. like) "and then the world will leave you behind" and i jsut feel like crying because i feel like i was left behindso much fucking longer ago even when i did try and i dont know what difference its ever going to make when theonly help you ever get is deadends thrown at you and ineffective services that dont work and at the end oftheday even when you give it everything you have its never enough and noobyd wants you still and you still go into the Real World and nobodys ever going to have patience orlove for you or care and youre still so miserable and fucking even more exhausted haivng achieved fucking what . i dont fucking know any mre . IS ANYONE CRAZY.

[foxc0ven]

The audacity 🦷

[reveriecorridor]

Heh. Now it’s YOUR turn to talk about the yoshizawa twins

oh man this is going to be funny because. despite everything. i still have not finished p5r.

describe their canon relationship/dynamic

auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. i know it. they both care deeply about the other. kasumi even more so as the Big Sister:tm: theyre each others closest friend but it hurts that sumire doesnt have the confidence in herself to... confide in her sister. its not bc she doesnt trust kasumi. its not bc kasumis a bad sister. sumire just doesnt feel like her troubles are worth kasumis time, and unfortunately for all kasumi loves her, her taking the lead just contributes to her lack of confidence. the twins make me feel everything.

your ideal/headcanon version of it? how does it differ from how it is in canon & why is this your favorite version? any other alternate versions of it you enjoy?

oughahhghg okay this is going here bc again i havent finished so im like spitballing here so you and crow have to correct me but. as far as i know the yoshizawa mom just... isnt in the equation at all. jsut their dad. so i subconsciously just picture kasumi taking the lead as the Big Sister bc. thats just what big siblings should do, but also making up for the lack of a mother figure to keep them in line. if p5r has mentioned the yoshizawa mom and i just somehow dont know about it completely disregard me being an idiot btw <3

what do you like about their relationship, why is it interesting or enjoyable to you?

ithink i already answered this in point 1 help me. but god. god........... i love it when family is dysfunctional but not outright Abusive and Bad, you know? the problems between the yoshizawa twins stem mostly from sumire's lack of self confidence but. its not inherently all a Bad thing bc... kasumis actions all come from a place of love and belief that her sister is just as good as she is. Thats what gets me the most. sumire subconsciously wants to become her sister, because sumire will never be as good or as perfect as kasumi. kasumi thought her sister saw the sheer unconditional love she had, and pride she had towards her, to have her sister stand by her side as equals. but this just serves to unfortunately make sumires issues Worse.

what about the individual characters involved? what does this relationship mean to them, what makes it unique among their relationships?

See above. jesus christ.

kasumi's love unfortunately twisting sumire and setting her down the path of "i Need to become kasumi, because sumire will never amount to anything" makes me feel extremely freaking normal. WAIT I. sorry im having a realization does sumi just. keep living the lie that she Is kasumi for all of maruki's realities. does sh. does the. jesus christ. sumire is so normal she is absolutely processing hthe death of her sister and her 97 mental illnesses absolutely perfectly.

favorite interaction they have in canon

this is going to be so fucked up while i love "its my right as the elder sister" i think if i had to pick a favorite from that its kasumi desperately calling out for sumire. im sorry thats what my answer for this is i jsut *grips my desk so hard* It gets me everytime okay.

favorite interaction they have in your head/a situation you want to put them in

,melting intoa puddle of slime. can i please get them jsut being happy........... please..................................... let me see them be stupid teens!!! let me see them be HAPPY

[danishmiilk]

if your moots were fanfics, what would they be? :p

ANON! i’ve been wanting to do this for the lONgest time (two days) so i’m soooo happy to have received this LMAO even though,,, this may NOT be accurate but im just gonig to do this randomly to the best of my ability

it’s very long, so more under the cut

@lebrookestore || taeyong + bookshop!au. so basically taeyong works at this bookshop and shes always going in to flip through books and such because she can’t afford to buy them and taeyong’s supposed to chase her away but just doesn’t have the heart to and one day she really just goes up and thanks him and hes like no problem and its usually quite empty so the next times she goes to said bookshop taeyong will go and sit with her to read the books and they talk and like wow they like the same shit! so then they Fall In Love wow

@hannie-dul-set || jaemin + definitely fluff. so basically her best friend (me! IM SORRY ALLEX BYE) and her best friend’s boyfriend (SICHENG! IM NOT SORRY ALLEX BYE) decided that their best friends weren’t getting like enough DATES so then they dragged them out on a double date (only for her and jaemin it was a bLIND date). it was at the dog cafe and the moment me and sicheng got there we just left them and ran away and theyd already bought like food so they decided to just stay and it was awkward for a bit but then like, jaemin was so good with dogs and hot damn. then yall exchange numbers and by the time yall get out of the cafe you see me and sicheng across the street using binoculars to spy on yall.

@seeing-dreams || chenle + def fluff, highschool!au. i feel like it’d be the secret admirer letter thing, which i think you already know what i mean? like chenle’s your crush bc (tbh he’e everyone’s) hes so hot and hes part of the basketball team and he also sits with you in bio and also at the same time you’ve been getting notes taped to the underside of your table in bio, and its like 10 or so letters before you get the last one asking you on a date (and leaving their number!! so if you want to date then call!!) and so youve alr fallen for this guy’s diction and you call the number and chenle’s phone rings. he winKS at you and youre like oH MY GOD

@floweringtheflowers || mark + YO IM SORRY BUT ISN’T YOUR WRITING ACC LIKE NEOSCULPTURES A SMUT BLOG I VAGUELY REMEMBER YOU SAYING THAT OR SUMN SO + pwp LMAO IM SORRY- and like obviously i don’t read those but like yeah take it take it away you just give me very strong pwp vibes bye

@moonlightjeno || jeno + arranged marriage!au, royalty!au, one sided etl!au. MHM SO BASICALLY YOURE A PRINCESS AND JENO IS A PRINCE AND THE KING AND QUEEN OF JENO’S COUNTRY (cough doyoung and his wife) dECIDE THAT OK TREATY so then you and jeno have to get married and like bc were such nice people we decide that okay, yall get married for oNE YEAR if really cannot then like fine,, yall can divorce. so yall just like try to tide it out for a year right but you need to fake in the eyes of the public and you hate jeno but hes just trying to make this more bearable for the two of you and one day yall have an argument and jeno goes like “I JUST REALLY wANT TO KISS YOU, OKAY?” *squeal* and youre like whatthefuck and then, like, you know what? you jsut pretend that didn’t happen but you eventually agree to just be cordial and friendly and become friends, and you know jeno’s in love with you but you try to not make it awkward and somewhere along the way you fall in love *clasps hands together with a huge sigh* deserve.

@sehunniepot || (i want to write this alr) yuta + hogwarts!au, etl!au, HOUSE RIVALRY!AU BC THOSE ARE SUPERIOR. yuta’s definitely a gryffindor so you can be a slytherin since you never tOLD me. so so anyway youve hated each other from day one because of some stupid misunderstanding of him purposely tripping you in the train and then youre sorted into slytherin and him in gryffindor and the next four years are pranks and sneers and insults and glares. then the yule ball comes up, and because the hogwarts teachers are so JUMPY you have a dancing lesson with randomly assigned partners and you get yuta and AAAA “boys, put your hand on the girl’s waist.” and youre glaring daggers but yuta does it anyway with that cocky grin and you hold hands and your hand’s on his shoulder and are his ears red, or is that just your imagination?? then yall just tease each other the entire dancing lesson and when you get back to your dorm best friend!doyoung’s all like “why was nakamoto blushing-” and you’re like “nothing.” then then YOU REALISE YOU CANT STOP THINKING OF HIS HAND ON YOUR WAIST AND DURING THE NEXT DANCE LESSON YOU NATURALLY GRAVITATE TOWARD EACH OTHER AND DOYOUNG’S LIKE ?? OKAY THEN ILL JUST GO DANCE QITH SOMEONE ELSE?? then the teachers (who know of your stupid rivalry) are like: okay then miss l/n and mr nakamoto if you’ve already paired up. OH THEN A FEW WEEKS LATER HE ASKS YOU TO THE BALL UNDER THE GUISE THAT “YOU ACTUALYL DANCE WELL” AND YOURE LIKE “YOURE NOT TOO BAD YOURSELF” but its all, ofc, a pretense and then at the ball you all (having alr realised you like each other), confess, and promptly kiss under the shining ice stalactites magically hung from the trees in the grounds of hogwarts. (OH MY GOD FUCK IM WRITING THIS)

@doyounged || doyoung + fluff, def + i think high school sweethearts!au so this is the really fluffy oneshots where like youre super shy!! like its pretyt obvious you have crushes on each other but like first relationship or wtv and you jsut brush fingers and BLUSH and put your arm around each other and BLUSH and cheek kiss and BLUSH and you get my point? yeah yeah that’s the whole au

@moonbeamsung || jisung + fluff af + best freinds to lovers!au the only thing i can think of is like cute sleepovers and the sleeptalking thing, i’ve written something like that for you i thiNK?? 

@orange-nimon-cross || cai xukun + angst. just pure angst. im not even kidding the angst is so bad oh my god- probably hurt-comfort. like xukun’s your emotional rock and hes jsut so,,, ROCK AND HES ALW THERE FOR YOU AND KAJOFSDF A HUG SOLVES ALL and something like that you get my point, yes??

@rouiyan || hyuck + uhm, ice hockey player hyuck. like i think you did one with jeno or something but like idk why does the concept suit your vibe so muCH?? this one bc hyuck is playful it’d be like you’re dragged to the matches bc jeno’s your best friend but you couldnt give a flying fuck about ice hockey and his annoying teammate (hyuck.) keeps flirting with you and like one day you ask him straight up why are you flirting with me and hyuck’s immediately apologetic like shit did it make you uncomfy ill stop and youre like hes,,, a nice guy and then yall bond over like post-match meals which jeno starts dragging yall all to and then yeah sicheng and ten (same hockey team) help hyuck plan a confession and he confesses at the pizza shop.

@radiorenjun || renjun + angst, but with a happy ending if i feel like it- oh hold on maybe not angst ill save you the heartbreak. def artist!renjun, not even going to think about it, and kind of supernatural/soulmate? like he has dreams of a mystery girl every night and that’s the inspo for all his paintings, and he tries selling them to an art gallery and youre the curator of said art gallery adn youre liek “thats so beautiful, but why is it always the back view of the girl?” and renjun looks up from his paintings to explain and he sees you and literally screams because he’s never seen the mystery girl’s face but HE KNOWS its you. it HAS to be. so the two of you try figuring out the stupid phenomenon and who knows, maybe it’s just fate’s way of letting the two of you come together! yall become a thing YAY

--- once again, thank you anon for this ask! i really enjoyed doing this and like you know what?? i may write some of these aus someday. definitely the yuta one. someday.

[tillman]

top ten worst arthurian takes GO

god how can you limit me to only ten. almost everything everyone says is just so dumb in some way and god the main thing? i wouldnt give a shit i really wouldnt if people didnt constantly act like theyre talking about the REAL legends <3 and then source toafk.

and like. okay! i dont expect people to have read everything. thats fucking impossible. who is going to have read 1000 years worth of literature. but to then either claim superiority cus u like one branch over another or cus you think youre too cool to just.. admit u dont know something? it makes me very angry and i am legally allowed to bully you.

anyways under a cut cus well .... anyways im going to be mean i dont give a shit. 

10) this is a catch all one but literally everything to do with lancelot. every single fucking thing. none of you people are normal.  the idea hes some sort of awful parent, the idea hes a “later addition” to the legends (just ... not true?????? the vulgate alone which solidified his existence is ..... 13th century..... thats.... so early in terms of arthuriana......), the general conception he fits into this “bimbo” type archetype (specifically that) in see him being characterized as a slutty and stupid vapid person whos only with guenevere to get closer to arthur, THE IDEA HES EVEN VAGUELY CLOSE TO ARTHUR? thats a huge plot point in a lot of the vulgate lancelot doesnt give a SHIT about arthur, th white, making him into the stereotypical full of himself man, bro its literally all fucking bad. whatever have your own takes on the character but hes . fucking hell just stop talking about lancelot if you cant be normal.

9) th white. i dont care anymore i dont think anyone should be looking at his work anymore it has nothing worthy of any attention. it truly has no value. 

8) jesus fuck uhm theres a lot i could say about how the general fandom and books themselves treat women but the treatment of morgause is just abhorrent. she isnt a fucking r*****. lot is literally worse than her in terms of parenting and being a human being yet shes the only one demonized ever. and like. okay! you can write her as an abusive mother and be uncomfortable with how she is written in the text but modern texts making HER the one to initiate the thing w arthur .... usually against his will for some reason. well. fuck you.  also not a huge thing but portraying guenevere as an abuser is rooted in so much misogyny. this is not the place to have a serious discussion about that but just be aware of how u are thinking about characters. 

7) everything to do with galahad and mordred LOL not even just galadred but bro they are substanceless characters theyre not that fucking deep. 

6) uhhh also everything to do with arthur/guenevere/lancelot <3 the power and age dynamic at play here literally physically makes me sick and also its glorified so heavily i just dont think you people should be allowed to touch these characters. it doesnt even have any hold in text you people just read th white and some other nonsense and were like wow <3 polycules solve all issues <3 and like they do but not this one LOL

5) stop combining elaine of astolat and elaine of corbenic this isnt a complaint this is a fucking PLEA I AM BEGGING you people. aslo please treat elaine of astolat right i love her so so much she means the world to me

4) i think you people are fucking weird around kay. ohhh booohooo the french were meaaan to himmmmmm. okay. stop pointing at the prehistories for reasons kay is actually sooo cool and soooo competent. ohhh hes soooo cool in the welsh texts. thats cool for the welsh texts and doesnt have anything to do with how hes characterized in literally everything else. he doesnt haev to be this competant killing machine to be a really cool character. also hes not. he. hes not thor? 

3) here this is a complaint for the original texts but villainizing gawain? cool thats hot. doing that by making him into a sexual abuser? i hate you. i hate you. prose tristan author and the post vulgate author who took it from them im going to litearlly fucking twist your head off your body.  oh here ill tie this back to the general fandom. gawain isnt some fucking “cinnamon roll” being “uwu slandered by the evil dutch texts fans...” gawains a shitty person and thats cool. hes mean and devious and smarmy and uses the image of the perfect knight to get thorugh loopholes. SGATGK isnt the only text in existance. its also not... an “early text” its pretty late. its. its the 14th century thats after lancelot was introduced to the . hes. its late okay.

2) if i have to see one more fucking take that isolde gave tristan the potion knowingly i literally might snap this is a threat. i cant fucking do it where are you people getting this from its jsut so fucking insane and so . wrong ? disgusting ? like i get it no ones read anything tristan and isolde related besides misreading le morte but jesus fucking CHRIST where are you even getting this one why do i have to KEEP seeing it.

1) STOP. making characters cishet.  stop it. stop. i fucking see you cishets. STOP thinking the arthurian stories are for you. they arent. shut the fuck up. 

anwyays thats all i. this was mean sorry im being mean right now but god <3 you people are fucking insane.

the thing i want to note is hey. its okay to not know things. arthuriana spans a thousand years of texts. if you only like the modern stuff cool good for you i hope you have fun. i do truly hope my friends and i are starting to create a space that people are comfortable admitting you dont know something or to ask questions or just simply not want to know. like thats cool and fine of you! do that! 

just stop fucking making weird arthurian takes and making me look at them. thank u. 

[patheticfrogarchive]

anyway tw for me talking abt my asshole 

ANYWAY update on my anxious breakdown re: my colon and asshole. my ass is bleeding like its BLEEDING for about a month now every 2-7 days ill go to either pee or poop, wipe, and then wipe again, and theres a tiny lil spot of blood. and i kNOW its not from my uterus bc 1) im not on my period every day of my life 2) i specifically like. pat my hole to see. like it was a TINY amount to begin with i mean i wouldnt even have noticed it if i wasnt specifically looking for it and it was always just one dot and thats it. never mixed in w my pee or poop that i could see, never randomly throughout the day, always jsut one lil dot

BUT OF COURSE im paranoid so i fucking ordered an at home lab test colon cancer screen so i shat in a box and mailed it in and SURPRISE they found no blood in my shit nothing wrong with me and youd THINK that combined w my 100% normal bloodwork would finally calm me down but NO im still worried

i dont actually know the human body anatomically but i remembver reading something that was like “ur colon is on ur left” so magically  a few weeks ago i started feeling like. a vague ache/twinge/whatever in my left side like up near my chest and like of course i go “fuck its my colon im dying” even tho my dad was like “you stupid thats not where ur colon is”. amazing that i only started feeling something after expecting to feel soemthing

anyway my parents are convinced its a hemorrhoid and my mom has a LOT of experience with those so like, she would know. anyway yesterday my asshole like, felt itchy and bad and uncomf and i felt like there was something like... slipping out of it??? anyway my mom says thats a hemorrhoid and sure whatever but im still freaked out. anyway today at work i went to drop a turd and my ass bled that little dot and i was like ‘ok thats a little more than usual’ and i patted AGAIN and there was more blood. and more. and like, ok it wasn’t actually a lot like its not like i was bleeding out  and it wasnt gushing or anything but compared to the previous times it was more, but also im finishing up my period so ??? but also i specifically only patted my butthole. and it happened every single time i went to the bathroom at work, even if i just pissed. and my asshole felt like, scraped raw and it was itchy and uncomf and i hated it. 

so during my lunch break i called my doctor and made an appointment to get examined in like 2 weeks which. im obviuously GONNA do it bc while this is prob just a combo of shitty retail rough toilet paper, me rubbing too hard, and me giving myself a hemorrhoid by straining too hard a month ago, id rather be safe than sorry. but also i am NOT looking forward to having a FUCKING FINGER up my ASSHOLE i barely managed to get thru my first vaginal exam a few months ago idk how im gonna get thru a fucking finger up my goddamn ass

and also when i got home i was like ‘ok im gonna check my asshole in the mirror and its gonna bleed i bet but at least ill see it’ fufcking nothing. no bleeding, magically not itchy and raw anymore, i even got some toilet paper and rubbed at it but??? nothing??? and like idk what an asshole is supposed to feel like but everything seems completely normal lmfao. tho sometimes it feels like. not liek my ass is gonna fall out but like. like theres a tiny thing in my ass thats ABOUT to come out but when i go to try and poop it out nothing will come and i dont actually feel like i need to do a whole poop. its like somethings stuck in my hole but there isnt anything??? anyway that feeling comes and goes like i had it a month ago and then it went away afte rlike 3 days but its back  now and ugh

anyway my current hypothesis is that its just shitty target sandpaper toilet paper ripping my asshole to shreds and also a hemorrhoid that i gave myself. but also i cant help but worry bc im fucking bleeding from my asshole and im terrified im gonna die at the ripe age of 23 of colon and/or asshole cancer.

i also have had like. not a headache not dizzyness but SLIGHT ever so slight like. lightheadedness? idk i feel off headwise so of course im like “oh my god im anemic bc im bleeding internally” even tho my bloodtests from like a month ago showed that if anything ihave MORE red blood cells compared to last time i got tested and im not in fact anemic. but also idk anything medical and so of course im like “BUT WHAT IF THINGS HAVE CHANGED” anyway in an ideal world i would probably be getting a blood test every week bc im fucking paranoid.

 i have also been sleeping horribly due to anxiety lately so im prob just tired but bASICALLY IM STRESSED LMFAO 

if anyone read all this. sorry. 

[cawcawpeasants]

Hi it's me I'm new but can you do one we're asta joins the Dark triad and how whould they treat him I know it's stupid but I couldn't think of any thing else

Hey there love. Thank you for all your kind messages, they really made me happym so I wanted to return your kindness by getting my butt out of this slump!! And sorry for the wait, I was on an excavation, but now I have Internet again and I had a long time to think about this.

So, this could be a relly great Idea for a kickass AU work. Like, what if Asta met the dark triad early on in the story, lets say even before the magic knights entrance exam. Canonically he met Fanzel around that time, too, so we’re even going to place this happening before all that. 

It starts with the big What If the Spade people had their Informationnetwork better under control and had way better spies than they appear to have right now (cause yall, how coukd they have missed Asta. He was in the Newspaper for gods sake. How bad a spy do you have to be to miss that? And for a warmongering nation, they really are way too uninformed about strenghts and their enemies. Little pet peeve of mine.) 

BUT! Now, they hear of this kid who got a great and strong grimoire in a place where that doesnt happen. First they hear all about Yuno and are like, yeah, okay, new blimp on the radar, we gotta calculate this new potentially powerful enemy in, and then they get the news of Asta and how he came to have a weird and shady 5 leaf clover grimoire. And now at least Dantes interest is piqued. 

So, they decide to check it out, cause who might that be? Which Demon has found a new host? And how did it happen without them hearing about a big catastrophic event in Clover, which is usually Zagreds, the word demons, preferred method of getting what he wants, 

Things are so interesting that the Zogratis siblings go on a road trip together, to find out more and maybe cause some menace on the way, in case they get bored. Its gonna be prime family bonding time!

They meet Asta under the skull, where he always trains, and they see him basically just lugging this big sword around but...not using either magic or the devils power. Something is weird here. Vanica also comments that the kid is kinda hunky with some nice features, but kinda veery very tiny, and she loses a bit of interest already. Zenon appreciates a dude who knows his workout, but the no magic factor makes him think of Asta as kinda weak, way too weak to be a Devil host, and he tells  Dante that it might be a fluke, that their information was wrong, and that they should just go and find the responsible spy and torture him, for having them come out all this way just to see a kid play at being a knight and yell a lot. 

Dante still has an uneasy feeling, that it might be a little more than just that, but he also has to agree that Asta has not shown any sign of devil powers, so he cant even ask lucifero which Demon slipped past their Network and got stranded in Clover, and this part of clover of all places too. Really, no self respecting lord of hell would do this to themselves, not even Zagred who maybe got a little desperate over the millenia.

Just as they are about to turn and leave, a voice comes up to them, asking them what they are doing. and yes, it comes up to them, cause they are in their usual and very very stealthy and absolutely not suspicious manner flying half a kilometre over the ground, maybe a little to the left, so they are guarded by the shades of the columns, and bickering with each other about first going to torture the spies, or getting something to eat before that. Just ye normal roadtrip talks.

Anyways, Asta heard them or sensed them (my boys instincts are crazy, like damn), and his gut feeling tells him something is off wht the weirdly fancy dressed floating strangers with seemingly cold eyes and spade-symbols and regalia all on them. He might not be the smartest noodle in the pot, but even he knows when he sees people in a place they dont belong.

Yeah, so, from here on out things can go a great many ways, Zenon would probably suggest they get rid of him and also that would make at least for a little amusement for now. Vanica would probably agree, cause at least they would be doing ANYTHing but staying there and doing nothing but watch a little boy. Or they could get some snacks, shes kinda hungry, for the 300th time today. 

Dante tho, he still wants his questions answered. So why not ask? He floats down towards Asta, and is all like, Hello there young man, that is a fine sword youre having there, pray tell where did you get that?

And Asta is like, wow, someone likes my sword? And this little angel boy just happily wants to help people, especially those 3 nobles who seem like they got hella damn lost (and not like they are a nightmare for many captains and Julius, I mean, can you imagine all the work thats gonna have to happen, when they find out that the dark triad can just enter Clover all willy nilly?? Oh, Marx is gonna haunt them with papers for months! And Augustus voice is gonna shriek through all the castle in that unbeliievable high octave about how useless they all are, and yeah, things just aint gonna be great, but Asta doesnt know, this blessed summer child is not the brightest light at times)

Cause sister lily and father Orsi raised him right he shows Dante all about his sword and his grimoire, and Dante sees it and probably goes like !!!. And then he knows that Asta really is a demons host, but he doesnt seem to have realized it himself. How strange. He tries to ask Asta a few questions, but the kiddo just really doesnt know a thing and after a while of talking around the topic, he tries the more direct route

“Say Boy, have you ever heard a Voice inside your head? Telling you things about your magic and what to do?”

“Yeah, Yuno says thats called thinking and that people should do that more often.”

“...right. But was there one besides the regular Voice you hear when you think?”

“No? Was there supposed to be one before I got the grimoire?”

“...Nevermind”

Asta also couldnt remember ever seeing a weird figure, well not specifically because “not before you guys showed up. I think the weirdest figure is probably Yuno, way too damn handsome that jerk!”

Or sensing another Magic mingle with his, “What do you mean this isnt my magic?”

Finally, Dante asks Asta if he ever heard about the Devil, and “Yeah of course, I was raised in a church, and Sister Lily tells us all the best good night stories! Im gonna mary one day and then we tell each other all those every night!!” And then Asta got stuck thinking about his sister Lily,and Dante had to realize that its no use. 

He could now either kidnap Asta and train him under the dark triad, or he could leave him be and keep his tabs on the strange kid with big dreams. Yeah, well, kidnapping Asta is, if the conversation with him was any clue, not gonna be an easy and quiet thing, and its gonna be a political mess, a headache to boot too. Also Zenon and Vanica are probably going to try kill Asta if he gets too much for them anyways, so i would be useless. He sighed, and shook his head, and shot Asta a fake smile

“Thank you for answering all my questions, boy, have a nice training session for whatever it is youre trying o achieve here.”

“Oh, Im training to become a Magic knight in a few months!”

“Ah”

“Im gonna become the Wizard king! (✧ ∇ ✧)”

“...Well, good luck with that, Im going home now”

“Thank you, also your friends left like 20 minutes ago”

Cue unhappy Dante. But at least they learned something...I think? And they went and cleaned up that Information pipe line real quick and then got something to eat.

Yeah so, I tried. Im still not back to peak form, but this was fun! Poor Dante was probably hella frustrated afterwards, but Asta really jsut doesnt know xD and later on, Asta is constantly wih people who are pretty sure to recognize the Spade royalty. I mean, they dont make it particulary hard. And Asta has his goal set, and he takes the most direct route to get there.

im pretty sure, as things are now, Zenon and Vanica are going to be way more interested too, but I really need to know a lot more about Vanica. 

Anyways, hope you enjoyed, and thank you again for sending me those words of encouragement! Have a lovely day!!

[shhhhyoursister]

hi friends this post is gonna be a bit long and sappy so sorry in advance

(im absolutely using this as an excuse to be sappy the way ive been wanting to be for a while) so i woke up today to see that i had over 250 followers and i just wanted to say like,,,, what the fuck?????? like yeah my main blog has a lot of followers but im sure like 80% of them are bots or inactive so the fact that i have that many followers here and that its something ive built up with actual like,,, content and stuff thats????? so wild????? when i started watching druck i never expected to make a tumblr for it, let alone write fanfics and stuff for it???? i know i go off about it all the time but i really did just start watching because i saw david in his binder and i knew i HAD to watch, and that was after waching skam og s3 and knowing that it was gonna be mlm and ive never been more grateful to a random gifset on tumblr like??? i dont know where id be as a person right now if i didnt have druck and this community on here and wow im just really so :,) and yeah like its just a show and all that but finding something that first of all made me more represented than anything else ive ever watched like??? thats amazing, but also a show that has given me actual real friends and a community of people that support me and value the random stuff that i write like??? holy fuck yall im just feeling a lot of things rn and im just so grateful to all of you <3

i also of COURSE need to shout out all of the amazing friends ive made here???? so first like tumblr specific people @rimbaux, @brisingr-iettauthr, and @bagels-and-seagulls like i didnt expect to be friends with yall but im so happy i am???? yall are all just so talented and also super freaking nice and funny and great people and im?? so glad that we all talk now its so great wow im really :,)

gotta shout out all my dungeon gays, like you guys??? i cant even express how much each of you means to me in every way?? like yall know some of the stuff that i deal with when it comes to like,, friends and shit like that so the fact that i always have you guys to scream to is so nice and im gonna actuallly start crying jsut cause i love yall so much and you all mean so much to me oh my GOD so @navollidiot, @davenziabend, @vildelesbianqueen, @sourflorenzi, god i LVOE you all so much <3

i gotta give special shout outs to @chlouais like yon,, youre always putting up with my bullshit whether that be editing my stuff or dealing with me yelling random ideas at you and like i think you were the first druck person i really became close with and im just :,) im just love you SO much yon and i know i say it a lot im just,,, big uwus over here!!!!!! and also of course a shout out to my fucking HUSBAND @theyellowcurtains like harri i feel like even though like 60% of our convos are jsut talking about how much we love eafch other i have to say it here too?? thank you for always listening to me complain and dealing with me when im drunk and stupid and justl letting me say stuff to you without the fear of being judged???? like i know we joke and make fun of each other constantly but ir eally do appreciate having someone i could go to with like,, anything i think so wowi love you and thank you <3

[patricianandclerk]

liveblogging episode 1

hhhh i already love the scrapbook style and the NARRATION, I'm in LOVE

I'm loving how much stuff is just... the same as the book??? like!! guh. remiiiix.

"it starts, as it will end, with a garden"

OHHHHHH

i love that the hem of aziraphale's robe in the beginning is kind of unfinished and fraying it's... a great look.

tue TATTOO i die!!

i can't believe aziraphale is all but screaming "top me" within SECONDS

why is crowley such a fucking HOMO im CRYING

"i don't think you can do the wrong thing..." the "do me" is silent, i think

im dying at aziraphale SHIELDING him. with his wing like he doesn't NEED to!!! and crowley doesn't even ASK! he just sidles. under!!! god im d y i n g

God hastur and ligur... why are they EVEN MKRE MARRIED than aziraphale and crowley? big respect

GOD THE MUFFLED MUSIC FROM THR CAR!! i cry. what a FAG i LOVE him. he's so WEIRD... also why does he need to sashay his HIPS like that

also I'm sorry to sound like I'm prejudiced against posh english cunts, it's just that i am, and crowley sounds fuckin DRUNK the WHOLE TIME

"Glorious tool" jesus WEPT

also why is cumberbend even IN this, jesus, so unnecessary

ALSO OMG AZIRAPHALE BABEY LOVES SUSHI

G A B R EIL

im,,,,, he's so hot

"its sushi... its nice..."

gabriel didn't need to be this homo but im. so grateful

aziraphale is so AWKWARD with gabriel and i diiiie.

THE NUNS!!! AND THEIR SPY MUSIC!!! GOD!!!

THE NAMES. I LOVE

the score is so fucking good?? im love!

i love the CARD thing!!!! god crowley looks so FUCKED i LOVE him... god i REALLY love his... vibe. he's so different to book crowley but IM INTO IT

GOD the dowlings are SO unbearable its LEGIT

aaah i LOVE the lil black and white shot of what the winks mean!!!! this is so CREATIVEly shot and conceived and im. into!!! the whole thing

also mary is so dumb and I'm just like... big respect

Americans are so,,,, "warlocke??? YAAAS" its wild

aziraphale...... u fag.... im crying

"heaven will finally triumph over hell" just say you want to top, you dumb slut

ans crowley oh my god APPEALING to his HEDONISM im. DYING, he's so m e a n

crowley's hair is so pretty and i also just... cry over aziraphale LOVING food and crowley WATCHING him? the whole time?

"for special occasions..."

"brain city, whales" yeah bc u don't have a fucking brain you stupid thot oh my god

they're so DUMB

OH MY GOD THE SOBERINH UP PROCESS IS HIDEOUS IM SCREAMING

lads that's so GROSS why do you have to DO it like that

hastur omg you bastard im love!!

why is crowley so good at pushing all of aziraphale's buttons like he's the gayest fucking accordion ever im DYING... "we'll be godfathers, sort of" and the SOFT SMILE im. CRYING

"its not that bad when you gey used to it"

BROTHER FRANCIS IS FUCKING HIDEOUS CHRIST

utterly Horrible and I Hate It.

also I'm sorry but i absolutely hate the lullaby. not that it isn't well written! not that it isn't CUTE! just that my whole body is EMBARRASSED by how fuckinh extra it is

i do appreciate how they made warlock is a lil tiny tim parody and is equally annoying

I LOVE HELLS Design!!!!

also crowley's stupid man bun thing it's so cute... and also heaven? i also love that design and it's equally creepy and weird

i really love how thr angels have their lil bits of gold and silver!!!

aziraphale's glasses...

PLEASE DO NO T LICK THE WALLS FUCK

hilarious that they gave warlock a fuckin snape hairdo jesus wept

crowley: we could kill him, y/y?

IM SAYING YOU COUDL KILL HIM YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO BLUNT

aziraphale is so soft and upset and im,,,,

god

it's interesting to have this as crowley TEMPTING him bc it's so traditional and it's really interesting that like... crowley is trying to tempt him but aziraphale just wants? jim?

also the magic is SO cute!

aziraphale is SO adorable and im,,,,

also i know WHY a twelve year old didn't call him a faggot but like, to be fair... he is one...

GOD THE CAKE IM WAILING also the slick way crowley just slithers out

idk I'm interested in the way they've put some of thr traits around... not jsut aziraphale reviving the dog, but that killing the boy is crowley's idea originally - it is a more traditional angel /demon split, which makes sense, given that its for tv and these chars are gonna be simpler?

idk i stand by the fact that I'm treating these as diff chars in a separate fandom

esp bc like... idk, brian and wensleydale are... idk, i never imagined brian as a little thin boy lol, so that's a bit of a? wensleydale also looks... cute, rather than being a little weirdo

ALSO...

interesting

"i know what you smell like!" fucking hell

but also like. idk it's interesting that crowley is more... explicitly lying to head office, and thst aziraphale is way more like

oh you must not lie, even to other demons? hm. yes!!!

[oldmyths]

godddd i know i’m talking so much and on one hand i feel really bad about it bc i hate . having feelings but on the other hand if i don’t talk about it i’ll probably die so here we go

this isnt like my #official review of detective pikachu bc like i did like it for what its worth but it just brought things to the surface and along with other stuff it just kind of. hit at an inopportune time

And then after nearly an hour of my sister and i driving around town looking for a gas station thats open with the doors to our house locked bc everyones gone and we don’t have keys on us only for my mom to reply and say she let my nephew in after i sent over a hundred messages bc (a) my mom and my other sister are always on their phone/have their phone nearby (b) when my sister kelly tried to call them nobody picked up (c) we were running out of gas and were at a part of the city we didn’t recognize at nearly 11pm when kelly has to be at work tomorrow at 7:45

So like needless to say i was a little stressed and upset with my mom (so was kelly bc of other things that i’m not too sure of the details on) AND THEN i read on twitter from this astrology account i follow that started tweeting about being raised by virgos when my moms a virgo and how their kids most likely struggle with empathy and comfort from a distance and cant handle other peoples emotions and like thats what i’ve been saying! the entire god damn time!!!

like i know astrology isnt Real Science whatever that fucking means and that zodiac signs arent personality types and yknow all that shit. but that’s literally what i’ve been saying. among other reasons, being raised by my mom alone in an isolated community made me extremely emotionally Fucked Up because she just didnt talk! about her feelings at all! and then she’d get mad at me for something and i never felt like her child i felt like someone she just bossed around and i know i can’t blame her being a fucking Virgo for that bc she was going through shit with my dad that she didnt deserve to go through along with other shit she had to worry about but i don’t remember a time where i was a kid and i felt her love for me. like i don’t know what that feels like. my mom cares about me i guess and sometimes i feel like she loves me but growing up feeling like your own mother doesn’t love you is really fucked up!!!!

that isnt to say shes a bad person entirely bc she had to go through shit i dont think i should post online along with growing up native on a reserve literally across the road from where she and her siblings had to go to a residential school and dealing with my dad. like. i get it. and its not like i, as a kid, could really comprehend the severity of all that but there isnt an excuse for treating your own fucking kid like an accessory, like a soldier that to listen to you or else youd take away the only thing that passed the time inside the house

and it was hard to listen to an ex-friend of mine say how much she loved virgos bc of this and i know Not All Virgos and im not saying every virgo is personally responsible for my shitty childhood but i just cant listen to someone praise without criticism. i feel like an asshole for saying that too and i know its a shitty thing to say bc if someone said Well I Was Raised By A Sagittarius And I Hate You i would feel pretty bad too. but im not saying i hate virgos. im not saying i hate my mom. despite all of this i love her so much and it hurts to admit that

i just idk please dont misinterpret this as me like idk cancelling virgos or whatever i dont mean for it to come across as that way either. idk if i know virgos personally its jsut really not a great time to be reminded about parent stuff right now

not only bc mothers day but like, watching a movie where the main character had a struggling relationship with their parent, for that parent to be the father, and then my mom not replying when it was Kind Of Really Important for her to respond when she could

and im not saying she should be available 24/7 either i know she has a life but she didn’t even message the GC to say where she was or that she locked the door. neither did my other sister. its just a lack of communication that makes me very upset and i dont like it, especially when my other sister isn’t sleeping at our house that often anymore And when my mom and her boyfriend sometimes don’t come back until 1am or something

im just really emotionally spent and exhausted and all of this parent shit stirred up Emotions that i try to keep under wraps bc i know all of this is irrational and that getting this upset about it is kinda stupid but idk how else to process it.

i dont remember my dads birthday so idk what sign he is but the movies whole theme of reconnecting with ur father figure is like...lol....no thanks... also ow.

sigh idk im sorry for this post i dont want my words to get misconstrued but i also dont know how else i can justify how i feel and im tired

[the-mf-bread-babies]

loneliness </\///\|/3

a fic by rocco wulfram north, m.d.

(found that name on hardcore baby names)

–chmapter jop–

before the tríp

It was a normal day for the Skullsmashers: go to somewhere, kill people, be gay, sleep, get brunch. Right now was the first part of their daily routine, and they were getting ready for it.

“holy fuck nova could you hurry the shit up i have to brush my fucking teeth you bitch” Ace hissed, knocking repeatedly on the bathroom door. “Fuck You. I'm Going To Go To Hell Itself” Nova gargled back, mouth full of mouthwash. More banging was heard; the door had seen better days.

Several feet away was Jake, all dressed up and ready to go, waiting for the others to get ready. He sat on the couch gayly in the living room down the hall, scrolling through Apocalypse Twitter. ‘every day i throw down an unpeeled boiled egg from the rooftop to simulate fear and unreadiness’ he read, a tweet from Orc's account. What the fuck. Classic Orc.

“ah fuck !! am i late !!” Jake turned around to see Damon panicking and counting the daggers in his pockets. “no no not at all. i just get ready really quickly to throw everyone into a state of disarray” Jake replied in an honest, monotone voice. “come sit down”

Damon sat down nervously next to his captain, knowing he'll ask him for Bambi on the PS2 now. “look. look at them those dumbshits” Jake uttered, pointing to Ace and Nova arguing. “those little bastards are completely unaware that ive put a fake cockroach puppet in the mirror. watch now” he added, pulling out a cheap remote control and pressing a button.

*sound of glass breaking* Jake sighed. “okay maybe that wasn't really the best idea” Nova screamed, running out of the bathroom and confusing Ace. “Fucking Roach!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she yelled, already too far away from them to be heard clearly. “huh. well okay then!” Ace grinned, going into the bathroom.

“i'll guard. you do your thing okay? :-)” Damon said to Jake, smiling mischievously. Jake's heart skipped a beat as he was suddenly flustered by the killer's action. «oh god, shit's just gonna get more complicated from here» he thought, staring into nothingness.

Damon braced himself against the bathroom door, eager to hear Ace's chaotic screaming. “ready ??” Damon asked, sending Jake back to the real world. “hhuh??????? oh yea right” he mumbled before beginning to control the cockroach with the remote. “this shit cost me like 200 bucks so it better be worth it”

HOLY MOTHER OF

F U C K

JAKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

WHAT THE S H IT DUDE

ace will remember this.

Jake cackled loudly, rolling on the floor and hitting the table with his fist. “LMAOOOOK FUCK YOUUU” he yelled, angering Ace even more. “I WILL GODDAMN SKIN UOUR FUCKIGN ISTINEDSTINES OLD MAN I SWEAR TKC FUCKF” they yelled back, pushing the door repeatedly. “IM GOIND TO FUCKIGN DIR HERE YOU BITCH”

“ah . ace ? could you move a little please ? i'm trying to get in ?” Damon said annoyingly kindly, making Ace jab a fake knife through the space between the door and the doorway. “THIS IS THE BEST FUCKIGN KNIFE I HAVE ON ME RIGT NOW BUT PLEADR JSUT FUCK O F F”

“hm ... i'll have to check in with the blacksmith today to know what this one's worth... possibly rusted here, though.... could also just be dirt tho.....” Damon mumbled, examining the knife. “FUCKING HEL P” Ace yelled in distress, his breath seeping through the door. “ace. brush your fucking teeth that's disgusting.”

“IM FUCKIF D TRYINF THERES JUST A FUCKGIFN ROSCH HEREERF” Ace explained fearfully, trying their best to get some pity from the other. “a what ?? don't think we have those here” “A FUCKIFN COKROSKC” “corrosion ???? how bad” “FUCK YOU A GODDMAND COKCROACH” “girls?? what?? are they milfs??” “HOW THEE DFUCKDB DID YEOU HEAR FTHAY WHATS DUCUNESKRHI”

Jake's hand slapped against Damon's shoulder as a way of saying thanks. “good work out there soldier. us skullsmashers really need someone like you damon” He said confidently, disguising his flirting as a compliment. “cool !! you too man !!” The shorter man replied, completely unaware of the flirting and continuing to yearn for the mutual love between him and Jake. fuckin idiots lmao

“alrighty fuckers, let's move!”

Rachel's voice sent Ace and Nova into a panic, making them scram to look for their weapons and equipment. “Got everything ya need? W'ain't makin' any stops; tryin'a save fuel.” Shaw asked, leaning against the wall at the entrance menacingly. “When the fuck did you even come here.” Dennis asked in surprise, carrying suitcases. “Hmph. Man never tells his secrets, young man.” She replied, tilting her cowboy hat. “What…”

Aaron was sitting peacefully in the trunk of a pickup truck they had, only to be met by a large backpack to the face. “ah!!!!!!!! very sorry!!!!!!! we'll be going in separate vehicles, and trunk space is very much needed!!!!!!!!” Whitney said, apologizing. “Ah. Well. O-okay then.” Aaron stuttered out, holding back tears from the painful impact the backpack had. Pretty sure he'll get a bruise from that.

Henderson and Rachel were waiting in the front seats of yet another pickup truck. To pass the time, they took very cringey pictures of each other pretending to be on Cowboy TikTok™. “Do one where you're pregnant with the truck's baby!” Henderson suggested, making Rachel flip the bird at her but begrudgingly agreeing with her stupid idea. “i literally would skin you alive.” She spat out, putting a pumpkin inside her shirt. “That's… literally so sexy, babe.” Henderson replied back, taking more pictures.

Meanwhile, Andre was busy explaining to Cyprus, who was in a small glass jar, that forcibly entering Damon's bloodstream and mutilating his entire body was not very nice, with Orc and Sarah judging. “YES BUT UNLIMITED POWER COULD BE RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ANDRE” “That'd very mean of you to do, and could actually probably kill you too in the process.” he explained to deaf ears. Well, technically no ears. Yet. “CYPRUS I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID BUT YOU COULD LITERALLY DO THE SAME BUT LIKE IN AN ELEPHANTS BODY DUDE” Orc suggested, only to be ignored. “cmon cyprus just pleaaaaase dont kill ppl ok”

Jake looked outside, then back at Damon. “well guess its time to move!” “yea ... but at what cost.” Damon replied confusingly, making a sad face. “did you know today is…” he started, then regretted saying anything. “nvm…” He turned away from the punk, sniffling and walking to Dennis and Aaron.

“damon” “??” Jake asked quietly, craning his neck a little before making the decision to leave the new recruit alone. Instead, he joined Henderson and Rachel in their odd activities.

“hey guys. i fucking miss sans.” Damon confessed, taking a seat next to Dennis. “My nose is bleeding.” Aaron pointed out. “ok. today's sunday. and you Know what That Means… Meant,” The boy continued, facing the ground. “Kanye West he…” Dennis began (begun???? idk). “… liked.” Aaron continued, also affected emotionally by the departure of not only Sans, but Komaeda too.

Jake stared longingly at the family, wishing he was a part of it too. He truly felt Ariel Little Mermaid's desire to become human. Seven Vagánias… that was a risk he was willing to take for him. He would shave his eyebrows off for that man, and he just might do it right now.

“Jake? Don't do that. Please don't fucking do that.” Henderson suddenly interrupted, surprising Jake. “do what” Henderson squinted her eyes, giving Jake a suspicious look. “That's the face you make when you want to do silly things…” She pointed out.

“You had that when you almost electrocuted yourself at that stable, you had that when you threw the dart at Scoran, you had that when you glued Marcus and Reese–” “OKAY OKAY I GET IT IM A DUMMY SILLY LITTLE BITCH BOY OK”

Rachel put the pumpkin back on the ground and went to the two friends, curious to know what the quarrel was about. “what's poppin gayboy!” She loudly asked, slapping Jake's forearm strongly. “i am in peril and shaking and crying” “daddy issues” “yget?” He explained, gesturing towards the Russells.

“ah. please clarify what kind.” Rachel said, knowing Jake has a very questionable taste for fictional middle-aged men, such as Sigma Overwatch and the guy from the cowboy game. “the fuckin. family one rachel” “look at em just vibing and simply being gay”

Rachel and Henderson gave eachother a look that questioned whether Damon and Jake were going to be a thing or not, since Jake's technically still with Andre. “Considering the fact that they adopted Damon, they could probably also adopt you if you wanted to.” Henderson suggested, knowing Jake wouldn't like this and would stupidly unknowingly accidentally confess his love for Damon to them both right then and there.

“what?????” “ew no thatd be fuckin incest or some shit what the fuck” Jake said, being grossed out. “what would be the incestuous part, jacon. we did not say or hint at anything related to incest.” Rachel asked, making Jake's hair stand up in panic. “fuCKIN NOTHING DUH” “BUT LIKE YKNOW I GET CRUSHES REALLY EASILY YEA??????” Jake explained weirdly.

“So there's a new one right now, huh…” Henderson asked… feeling like she was in Ace Attorney. “no!!!! no wait” “well yea– no.. but i–” “fuck You but yes” Jake grumbled. “ah no, we won't tell, obviously. it was just getting way too obvious, so we just wanted to hear it from both sides.” “WH” Rachel said mysteriously, getting into the driver's seat of the pickup truck. “okay guys let's go!!” She yelled out, starting the engine. “THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??????” “BOTH SIDES???”

chapter dos

two four trucks

The journey to god knows fuckin where idk didn't plan i guess a fuckin cabin or smth idk was long and torturous, especially when Rachel said that cryptic-ass thing before going. What the fuck was that supposed to mean, bro.

sudden interlude for seating arrangements !!

truck 1: Henderson, rachel, whitney, CYPRUS

truck 2: jake, damon, marge, Andre, Aaron

truck 3: ace, Nova, Dennis

truck 4: sarah, ORC, Shaw, viper

truck two.

Jake awkwardly patted Marge's head in the backseat of the truck, avoiding eye contact with Damon and Andre. Of course he had to go on a three-day trip in the same car with his ex, his crush, AND his crush's father. God, he was pretty sure this was the lab rats' doing.

“cows.” Damon pointed outside, earning Andre's attention. “Holy– what are those?” He asked, taking his sunglasses off to admire the beautiful little cows. “Cows… we drink their milk and wear their skin as jackets…” Aaron explained, his eyes drifting from the road momentarily. “They can have best friends and stuff. Really nice guys. Also, they're expensive as hell.”

“Y–You do what. Their skin??” Andre asked, his voice a pitch higher than usual. “yeah and we rate them based on which layer it is. also, like their meat, expensive as hell. but still very cool.” Damon said, confusing Andre even more. “they also give us cheese and ice cream and whipped cream and stuff. underrated little babies. they deserve better.” “they also have nose rings which are punk as hell–”

“Wait, why the nose– cheese?! Cheese?! AND ice cream??!” Andre asked again, his mind attempting to comprehend the greatness that cows are. “Oh man, you are not ready to hear about pigs.” Aaron said jokingly. “What the fuck are pigs???” “Sausages, ham slices, bacon, lard, leather too, rotisserie–” “aaron please i'm gonna throw up.” “Oh, right. Sorry,”

Jake sat quietly in his seat, just now realising how much of his world Andre's missing. Sure, his world was much cooler, but do they have sheep? Palm trees? Penguins? Thought not, bitch. “andre do you know what a kangaroo is” He asked, breaking his silence like that one YouTuber.

“A what?” “kangaroo. some of them are buff as shit and they move by hopping. they cant hop backwards and they also keep their babies in little pouches attached to them and their bones and guts are exposed on the inside of said pouch. baby kangaroos are about the size of a jellybean, and the adults can box you”

“They what” “yea they're weird as fuck.” “its from australia so” “That sounds fake.” “oh man. wombats bro. quokkas. fuckin drop bears and flying foxes. PLATYPUSES!!!” “wombats poop in cubes and quokkas are always smiling” “Koala bears hold onto tree branches and eat their mom's shit, which is the leaves of said tree branches.” “Please stop what the fuck” “ohoho fucking GEESE” “GET IM JAKE MY NEIGHBOR HAD FUCKIN THREE OF THOSE BITCHES”

truck three.

The three sat silently, with the exception of Dennis, who was swearing at random times. “You call that a fuckin’ turn, old man?! HUH?!!” Ace's shoulders jumped, the sudden exclamations preventing them from sleeping through the trip. “This Is Probably The Last Time We'll See Each Other Alive.” Nova stated calmly. “i slept for like two minutes last night… didn't even get to wear conditioner today. unrelated but just sharing my struggles with you.” Ace said, shifting into a more comfortable sleeping position.

Dennis overheard the two talking, and opted to stay quiet for the rest of the trip, before stumbling across a strange sight. “FROG!!!” he yelled, waking up the duo. “he said fuck! he said the f” Ace yelled out while rubbing their eyes. “Are We Aliven't” Nova asked, stretching. “Sadly, no, but the good news is, I found a frog!” Dennis excitedly said, opening the car door.

“WHAT” “THAT SHITS GONNA POISON US WHAT THE FUCK” Nova yelled out, unfortunately not loud enough for Dennis to hear it. The man kept walking towards the creature that was technically an alien to them, and picked it up with watery hands. “DENNIS YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING KILL US ALL!!!!!!! DENNIS!!!!!!”

“So, you kids know how to handle a frog?” Dennis asked in a wholesome tone, alerting the two even more. “KILL IT KILL IT FUCKING KILL IT” “Oh, are you guys allergic to this little guy? Sorry, I'll put it in the dashboard instead.” “GET ITBOUT WHAT THE FUCK DENNID JESUS” “… Huh?” “POSIOJ DART FOGR” Nova shouted, hiding behind the passenger seat and being pushed by Ace, who was also going to hide there. “BITCH”

Dennis and the frog stared at them in confusion, hearing their horrified screams. “This is… a wood frog… not a poison dart… that one would probably die in this climate…” he explained plainly, his hands gently cupping the newfound friend. “oh. ok” Ace muttered quietly, while Nova maintained an awkward silence. “You can… pat them very softly if you want.” Dennis suggested. “Or spray the shit outta them. That could work too.”

Nova nervously held out her hand to pat the frog, then smiled in succeeding to do so. “Death Quivers Before Me” She said, proceeding to pat it even more. “can i do the spray thing.” Ace asked, their voice quiet as a whisper. “Yeah, sure. Go right ahead.”

*the frog was going to die so technically they didnt like fuck up the ecosystem or smth. do not attempt this irl.

truck four.

“What jolly tunes d'ya have on this here truck. Fellas.” Shaw asked, observing the radio. “uh, really, i don't think it'll be necessary!!!!!” Viper nervously said, only to be ignored. “NONSENSE! ONE'S TASTE IN SHANTIES PROVES TO BE A WINDOW INTO THEIR LIVES.” Orc said wisely, patting them on the shoulder. “i guess that's good advice, but really–”

TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. MY MUSCLES. MY MUSCLES. INVOLUNTARILY FLEX.

“I SEE. A MATING SONG FOR YOUR SPECIES?” “my truck f### playlist,.,.,.” Viper tried to mute the speaker to no avail as most of the buttons on the control panel were very much broken. “I'm. Very sorry for this, pardner. But this doesn't sound so bad. I could put this in a jukebox…” Shaw consoled, only making them panic more. “im so f#ckig sorry” They said, before smashing the radio with a briefcase.

They all paused for a moment, unsure of what to do. “i have spotify…” Sarah croaked, holding up her phone. “they have lemon demon too, if you want…” She muttered, scrolling through the song choices. “does anyone want to listen to wet a–” “no.” “okay.”

The truck grew even quieter for a while, until Shaw gave a suggestion to pass the time. “Wanna play 20 questions?” “I'll start: how many folks have y'all killed?” Viper gave the assassin a horrified look, confusing her. “I think mine's around 150. No… 145…” She confessed, rubbing her chin. “Wait, or was it 160?”

“like six. do you like girls, and, follow up question, do you also coincidentally like short girls with long hair.” Sarah said without hesitation, stopping Orc from answering the first question. “Yes! I literally have a wife!” Shaw shouted happily, rolling up her sleeves to show Sarah her tattoos. “This one is her setting herself on fire and me getting inspired–” “ah, yes–” “That one was a total cover-up! Previously, it was the names of my exes, all thirteen of them, but now, it's my cat!”

After some time of receiving a bit too much RexShaw lore, Sarah finally got the answer she so desperately needed from Viper. This was the verdict that determines whether she could make a move or not. This answer could change– “i am gay and do not get attracted to women. thank you.” Ah. Back to more hunting. “I am a lesbian! High-five!” Shaw exclaimed.

And finally, the first truck.

truck one.

Loud country music blared in the truck as they drove by the snowy mountains of uhh. Winsnow. Like winter and snow. They had all chosen separate routes in order to cover more land and see if there were any new developments in the area.

“BRANDY!!! FETCH ANOTHER ROUNF!!!!!!” Rachel screeched as she drummed on the dashboard. “AND SHE FJSJS” Henderson kept driving, searching every inch of land for a rest stop to stretch her legs and also listen to something else.

“hendy.” Rachel said, getting her girlfriend's attention. “do you wanna buy that slime that cleans cars and stuff?” Henderson stared into the distance, pondering. “Hm. There's always the possibility of the slime disappearing under mysterious circumstances and turning up in the trash can the next day covered in saliva, so.” Whitney looked away, feeling attacked.

“yeah, that's a problem.” Rachel muttered, her hand instinctually moving to Henderson's. “Please don't crash the car.” She begged, looking sadly at her. “is there a domino's nearby. i heard they have that new peanut butter chocolate lava cake.” Rachel asked, cupping Henderson's face gently.

“Rachel. There's fucking mountains.” Henderson pointed out, gesturing towards their surroundings. “That shit will freeze.” Rachel put her head down in disappointment. “yeah. damn.” “MORE FLESH!!! MORE FLESH!!! MORE FUCKING FLESH!!!”

Oh yeah, Cyprus was here the whole time. “why does the metal say fuck?????” And Whitney too! “MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS. FLESH NEEDED!” Cyprus yelled out, resembling a hungry toddler on a road trip.

“do you want like a burger or something......” Whitney asked, judging the spirit. “FLESH” “like are you more of a kfc or a mcdonalds guy” “NEED FLESH” She gave the couple a look, one that was kind of undecipherable due to her lack of normal face details like eyebrows, visible pupils, etc.

“So, three peanut butter lava cakes and one meat lover's… what else?” “ah!!!!!! no lava cake for me, i'm on a diet!!!!!! dirt and dirt only!!!!!!!!!!! also fish bones as a treat” Whitney corrected, her eyes searching for a nearby body of water. “Or, we could get Cyprus the fish meat, and Whitney the bones.” “sounds good to me!!!!!!!!” “FLESH”

…

“welcome to domino's! can i get your order?”

“three peanut butter lava cakes, please. that's all. thank you.” Rachel said, her seat switched with Henderson's, who was too nervous to order. “okay but they each take like three hours to make” “what.” “yea you can stop by like the grocery store up ahead” “fuck you for ordering this” “i–” “fuck off”

the grocewy stowe

The truck stopped by the front of the building, Rachel telling them to go in first while she searches for a good parking spot. Much to Henderson's disappointment.

“My lover…” Henderson said with fear in her voice. “it's okay… go along… i… i have to do this for you…” “for you all… i won't forget the good that you've done to me and everyone i've ever known…” “Rach, please don't go, I lo–” “you all are the kindest people… heaven may wait eagerly for you, but as for me, the ground trembles for its latest meal. fresh from the oven, i will enter the furnace…” “why the fuck would they cook you again” “because i'm TOAST!!” “haha”

“Kill Ronald Reagan while you're at it… I forgot which one he is but I'm pretty sure he's a total bitch…” “i will meet you doomguy” “heeeeeeeh” Rachel whined weakly as she slowly drove over to the spot she wanted.

MOTHERFUCKER.

A silver Honda Civic quickly made its way into there, angering the scientist. “not on my watch, fucker.” Rachel muttered, sliding the pickup truck across the road. She slammed her palm onto the car horn, which terrified even a murder of crows.

“huh wonder who that is” “hm anyway which fish do u like ???? :-)”

A woman who seemed to be in her late 40s exited the Honda Civic, throwing a rather large and flashy boa around her neck. “Jesús, ít's cold in hère,” The lady commented, putting on a pair of expensive-looking sunglasses. “Márie, come along, ma cheghhy!” (i forgot how to spell it)

oh, son of a B I T C H .

it's the french lady who smells weird.

Of course, seeing your enemy in any circumstance that wasn't planned was clearly a little scary and will probably be your last day alive, but bumping into them at a Target was kinda… awkward.

Both the hazelnut and the dolphin were less armed and armoured than usual, and there weren't any bodyguards or security. Usually, if a top leader goes anywhere, the standard protocol was to do thirty separate background checks on the location and have it guarded up somewhere in the three months before their arrival.

So, obviously, someone in Top 50 driving around town in a decades-old car buying groceries isn't very safe, or probably even legal. Hell, she hasn't even seen them wear anything this ridiculous ever. Could this be a distraction? Or is it an opportunity?

Ah, wait, they're both wearing their stupid little marriage bracelets.

It's the middle of October.

This is their anniversary vacation.

Shit.

in the store

Henderson strolled through the aisles with Whitney at her side, hugging Cyprus's jar. She examined the cereal boxes to make sure they didn't contain any food colouring that could potentially kill her.

Whitney, on the other hand, zoomed over to the meat section, licking her lips at the sight of a raw cod. “cyprus…… do you feel that? the need to devour a being???? the uncontrollable desire for energy that it transcends all laws and regulations placed on mankind?????? the growing hunger for power, one that's so strong it controls your every need????

a natural, primal instinct to become such a brutal being that no one, not even you, recognise yourself anymore. you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel like you want to destroy that, to put yourself onto the pedestal you belong on, to wreak havoc on the cosmos of all beings, living and dead, real and mythical, walking and extinct.

you know that you're the only who understands this instinct, the only one who follows it to this distance. everyone else may underestimate you, but in the end, you'll rise above them all. man's natural instinct is to become the ruler of all.”

“What the fuck, Whitney. Anyway, I talked to the deli guy and he said he could pay you to eat up some scraps if you want. You down?” Henderson asked, her trolley already full of snacks. “yea fuck it man” Whitney replied, walking over to the ‘staff only’ door. “im hungy as fuck”

parking lot.

Despite the growing need to kill the woman, Rachel was managing to control herself. Even though this was the perfect opportunity to eliminate one of them, she knows she'll be replaced by someone much crueler. So for now, she'll just stick to watching this lady consider which can of tomato sauce is better than the other.

Rachel parked the truck near the entrance and the Honda Civic. She kept an eye on the couple as she quietly made her way inside through the back door.

“So thàt's when Í saìd, ‘that's not a cactùs, that's a lámp!” Karén playfully said, her hand entwined with her wife's. Rachel was unsure whether to stalk the two or join her friends in shopping.

WELL, FIND THAT OUT IN THE NEXT PART,

B I T C H !! !! !!

[parksfabray-blog]

Stand By Me | Dominer

Who: @dominicjamesjones, @skypucks, & @pfabray

When: Friday, January 12th 2018

Where: Dom’s place

Notes: Parker goes to Dom’s place confronts him on why he has been distant and she gets heartbreaking news.

Triggers: Death, Alcohol.

Skylar knew that today was important for her to be there for her friend. Granted she didn't feel right about being there, like she didn't feel right be there a year ago. She placed the empty bottles on his counter and walked back into the living room where she came from "Im gonna go, I didn't find anyone to cover my shift, but obviously there's water in your fridge." She said as she fixed her hair as she looked at her friend. "Are you going to be okay if I leave? If not, I can text Parker and Im sure she'll be over here in two seconds."

Dom had been drinking a little bit but wasnt completely wasted, at least not like the night before. Today was a hard day and he wished he could just fast forward it all. He didn't want to feel it anymore. That loss the day his grandpa died. He was sitting on the couch and the one person that he called but shouldnt have was Skylar. She was the only one that understood. She was there that night when he got the call from his mother. He didn't even get to say goodbye. "It's fine" he shook his head. "You can go if you want I'll be fine" he stood up and felt dizzy a bit. "I'll walk you out." he said nodded towards the front door of his new house. Dom blinked slowly and he moved towards the door. "Thank you." he spoke. "For being here. I'm sorry I'm a mess."

Skylar slowly nodded. "Alright." She said softly and watched him stood up. "You dont have to, its fine." She followed him towards the door and stopped as she looked at him. "Not a problem, we're friends now right? Nah, no need to apologize. Really, you're allowed to grieve and work through your grief." She gave him a small smile before she gave him a hug. "Now, call that girl of yours." She gave him a knowing look and opened up the door. She started to walk and stopped before she turned to face him. "I mean it Dom. She needs to know."

Dom hugged her back briefly and he walked her outside. "I know I know. I'll tell her." He nodded. Dom paused as they were outside and he leaned over and pulled her into another hug. "Thanks again. I just..needed someone you know." He watched her leave and as he walked back inside he got his phone out to text Parker. -hey, so i need to talk to you about that thing that I told you i wanted to talk to you about. can you come over?- He pressed send and starred at his phone waiting for a response.

Parker was glad that Avery's regular babysitter was able to watch her, since she couldn't help but think about what was going on with Dom. She didn't want Avery to worry about her. She slipped her hands into her dress pockets as she paced back and forth, waiting to hear something from him since he ghosted, kind of anyways. "Fuck it." She grabbed her keys, grabbed her phone and headed over to his new place. She made sure that her door was locked and headed over to his place. Parker felt her heart dropped when she saw Skylar leaving his place and hid some bushes when she saw him outside with her. Was it the thing he wanted to talk to her about? She couldn't believe this was happening, nothing was making any sense. She poked her head above the bush and saw him pulled her into a hug. No, no. This was insane. She felt her phone vibrate a bit later and pulled it out. She stood up once she knew that Skylar was gone and headed up to his front door. -I'm at the front door.- She pressed sent, pocketed her phone and felt her blood boiling.

Dom sat up straight on the couch when Parker texted back so quickly. That was fast. He frowned and then went to the front door. He was a little tipsy but not drunk drunk. Not like she's seem him before. He opened the door and smiled. "Hi" he said. "What did you do run over here?" he asked a little sad chuckle came from his lips. He let her inside. "I'm sorry its still a mess. I havent had the motivation to unpack just yet" Dom wasn't in his usual chipper mood and for good reason. But Parker seemed upset maybe? "Is everything okay?" he asked.

Parker took a couple of breaths as she tried to control her emotions and looked up when she heard him open up the door. "Hi." She said softly and shook her head. "No, I was actually on my way over here." She looked at him, knowing that he was tispy and swallowed hard when she heard the chuckle. She shut the door behind her then moved into the living room, liking the place better than her own and closed her eyes. "No, um. I need to know if Skylar and you are back together because I refuse to be that girl who had high hopes of us getting back together when apparently she's over here and how much have you drink? Because if you're going to be drinking again, then Avery's not going over here until you're sober a.and I wont be with you if you're heavily drinking again and." She rolled her eyes at herself since her nerves got the best of her.

Dom frowned. "What?" he was so confused and Parker seemed so upset. He knew that telling her what he wanted to know was going to break her heart. "Im sorry, I'm sorry" he walked towards he and put his hands on her shoulders. "I'm not with Skylar. I'll explain okay. Just let me explain. I had a couple drinks I know I'm sorry. I just...today is a hard day." he couldn't help it when the tears started to fall from his eyes. He shook his head and sat down on the couch. "I don't want to tell you. Because I don't want you to feel the way I'm feeling right now and how I felt this way last year." he was almost balling now. "You might want to sit down" he said as he looked up at her.

Parker looked at him before she let out a breath and rested her head. "Thank god or I mightve done something stupid. Im sorry, Im sorry." She said. She looked up to see tears rolling down his cheeks, making her on the verge of tears and wiped them from his cheeks. "Baby, what's going on." She sat down next to him and rubbed his back. "Hey, whatever it is, we can work through it together as a team." Her head was spinning in all kinds of different directions now.

Dom shook his head. "I shouldve told you last year. But we werent in a good place and I didn't know how. I didn't want to break your heart again. I just couldnt." he swallowed thickly. "Grandpa passed away last year. Exactly one year ago today." He looked at her and he started to cry again. "Im sorry I didn't tell you. I just couldn't." he shook his head. "Skylar was with me when I found out. We were trying to be friends. Like actual friends and this whole week when the anniversary was coming up I panicked and she came over. We're jsut friends kinda of...not really. It doesnt matter though and I'm just so sorry."

Parker furrowed her eyebrows again as she rubbed his arm and stopped when she heard that grandpa passed away. "No." She said as she stood up, taking a deep breath and started to cry as she walked away from him. "No, not grandpa. H-How?" She swallowed hard as she tried to focus on him and sat down as she couldnt focus on him anymore. Her grandpa, the one family member who adopted her into the family. The other person she wanted to see while they were in Ohio, was gone. She buried her face in her hands as she bawled, feeling heartbroken and wasn't for sure what to feel. Between hearing that grandpa Jones was gone, the fact that Skylar was with him when he found out and the fact that she had been with him this whole week. She wasn't only grieving one death and heartbroken because of losing grandpa jones, but she was heartbroken to learn that Dom had kept this from her and had his ex there instead of her. The supposed be the love of his life, the mother of his child. "I-I don't care, you should've told me that he was gone, Dominic. I would've been there despite being in a bad place, not her." She looked up at him. "H-He was my grandpa too a..and now he's never going to meet his great granddaughter because of me and how selfish I was when it came to keeping her a secret from you guys." She let out a shaky breath as she rubbed her hands on her shorts and sniffed as she gotten up. "Do you have anymore alcohol?"

Dom hated to see her cry because it made him cry in return. He shook his head. "I know I know I should have. I'm sorry Parks. I'm so sorry" He frowned and shook his head. "You did what you thought was best and I should have told you. I didn't want to hurt you again. I didn't mean for Skylar to be there. I didn't want her to be there but she was and I can't change that. I can't change any of this and I just...I'm sorry." he took a deep breath and looked up at her as she stood. "Yeah in the kitchen." he said.

Parker "No, I didn't. Its obvious I didn't. Between two years ago and now, I didn't make the right choice." Parker said as she looked at him and shook her head before she let out a bitter chuckle. She walked into the kitchen, grabbed whatever she could find and took a swig of it. It had been years since she had straight alcohol, but she needed it. She spotted some whiskey, drank some and put the lid on it as she swallowed it. She could feel herself kind of tispy, but she wanted more. More to numb the pain. She grabbed the bottle, sat down in front of the couch and took the cap off of it before she took a drink from the bottle.

Dom watched her walk off to the kitchen and when she came back he looked over at her. They sat on the couch in silence for a long time. It felt like forever. He reached over to hold her free hand. He said silent not really knowing what to say. What could you say at a moment like this? He already apologized and explain. He felt horrible. He didn't want her to feel the same and here she was drinking on his couch, a place he never thought she would be.

Parker sniffed as she licked the whiskey from her lips and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand that held the bottle to get the rest of it off of her lips. "Was the funeral nice?" She finally asked softly as she looked at him and looked back ahead after she put the cap back onto the bottle. "I take it that she went with you there too?" She shouldnt be like this, but she was distraught, heartbroken and not knowing what else to say.

Dom frowned. "I wouldn't know. I didn't go" he said looking down at his lap and away from her. He couldnt look back at her and see the hurt in her eyes. "This week was the first time I talked to Skylar since last year.. Is that what you are really upset about here? That she was there and not you?" he asked finally looking over at her and shaking his head.

Parker glanced over at him and pulled her hand out of his hand before she placed the cap onto the bottle. "I honestly don't give a damn about Skylar now. I was a little upset at the fact that she was there and not me, but right now Im really upset at the fact that you didn't tell me that grandpa jones passed away when it happened. Im really upset at the fact that you chose to keep that information from me and I get that why, because you're in the grieving process and sure we were in a bad place, but I would've put that to the side to be there for you because I knew how much he meant to you and to your family." She swallowed some as she looked at him. "You didn't want to open up to me right away and wanted to wait to tell me. I get that, I do but dom. We're trying to be a couple again but we can't when one of us closes the other one off." She placed the bottle onto the floor and looked at him. "Your issues are my issues, your problems are mine. Your loses are mine." She swallowed hard as she studied him and shook her head. "We cant be Dom and Parks if we don't tell each other things. If we don't then we're going to end back in the place when we broke up the first time. And I am glad that she was there for you, because at least one of us were and is there for you."

Dom shook his head. “Really because it seems like oh do when you’re passive aggressive with me about her.” Dom stood up. “I told you why I didn’t tell you and yeah maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do but you have no right to blame me for not telling you when you kept a big ass secret from me for two years. It’s just as worse and hypocritical.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to fight with you today parker. Not today. I just can’t. I’m sorry and I’ll say sorry over and over again as much as you want me to but I can’t change it.” He had so much more that he wanted to say but he just couldn’t. It was exhausted and felt like before they broke up when they fought all the time. He looked at the floor. “I’m sorry,” He said quietly with sadness in his voice. He could feel himself starting to cry again.

Parker shook her head when he apologize. "No, don't be. You have a point. Im the one who should be sorry." She whispered after she let everything that he had said settled in and sat away from him. She wasn't for sure what else to say, so she stood up, grabbed the bottle of whiskey and placed it on the counter. She quietly found a box that was marked glasses, grabbed two and filled them with water after she washed them. She placed a glass for him in front of him and sat down where she was at and placed her glass next to her. "I think you should stay with Avery and I, I don't want you staying here by yourself. If you want, that is. Im not going to force you to stay with me though. I'll sleep on the couch and you can sleep in the bed."

Dom took the glass from her and he took a big gulp. He closed his eyes and ran his hand over his head. “Okay.” He agreed. “No it’s okay I don’t want to be alone tonight.” He moved behind the couch and put his hand on her shoulder. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll pack a bag.”

Parker nodded. "Okay." She spoke softly. She closed her eyes when she felt his hand on her shoulder and bit down on her bottom lip as she stopped a sob from escaping. She nodded again as she grabbed her water, took a drink, placed it next to her and pulled her knees close to her chest. She let out a shaky breath as she placed her hands on the back of her neck and rested her forehead against her knees. She knew that they would be back where they were because of her and they didn't that. Especially when there was their daughter now.

Dom went to his bedroom and packed a small bag of clothes. He moved back out to the living room seeing parker crawled up in a little ball. He frowned and moved quickly beside her. “Parks.” He said her name and pulled her into a tight hug. “Come here.” He spoke.

Parker wrapped her arms around him and stuffed her face into the crook of his neck. "Im so sorry." She whispered, knowing that she had a plan to take their family to visit grandpa Jones now.

Dom held her close and rubbed her arm reassuringly. “It’s ok” He whispered. “It’s gonna be okay.” He held her close for a while and pulled away slowly. He looked at her and touched her cheek. “I’m sorry too.”

Parker felt him rubbed her arm and let out a shaky breath. She sniffed as she nodded against him, wiped away some of the tears before she looked at him and shook her head. "You dont have to be sorry." She gave him a small smile and looked at him.

Dom looked down at her and he nodded. "Yeah I do" he kissed her forehead and pulled her closer. "Who's watching Avery right now?" he asked. He didn't want to walk in all crying and stuff with some babysitter he didn't know.

Parker shook her head. "No because you had a point." She whispered as she closed her eyes when he kissed her forehead and rested her head on his shoulder. "Her regular babysitter, Monica that watches her during the week and she's over there at her house." She swallowed some as she let out a breath.

Dom nodded. "You wanna get into bed and just watch movies all night and get a big tub of ice cream?" he asked. "Like we used to? Order pizza then?" he asked. Dom wanted to distract himself from the day. And he knew she probably needed it as well.

Parker sniffed as she nodded and stayed close to him. "Yeah and I'll tell Monica that Avery can stay there tonight. She has a daughter who's Avery's age and I don't want her to see us like this. Not yet." She closed her eyes as she licked her lips and listened to his heartbeat.

Dom nodded. "Yeah me either." he took a break. "You wanna just stay here for a little while then" he said as he kept her in his arms. He didn't want to let go. Ever. He wished he could keep her safe and stop all the hurting she was feeling right now because he knew how it felt. He was feeling it too.

Parker "Yes please." Parker replied as she rubbed his arm the best she could do and closed her eyes. She stayed quiet for a while before she opened up her eyes and looked around the best she could. "By the way, when we do order pizza, you're gonna answer the door."

Dom nodded. "i can do that." he smiled. "Lets go back over to your place yeah?" he asked. Dom stood up and he reached out his hand for her to take. He helped her up and kept her hand in his as he picked up his overnight bag. He walked out the front door with her and they walked down the road hand and hand towards Parker's.

[hyunwoo-archive]

Showhonon! OMG YESS like wonho would drop hints who he likes,really stupidly obvious hints eg.Hes in the swimming club,is the best swimmer etc. And shownu wud be bitter af at his teamates because he thinks wonho likes one of em and he gets v distant w wonho too cuz of it nd wonho is so close to ripping his hair out because HOW ARE U THT OBLIVIOUS? But hes not better cuz shownu wud give hints too but hes bad at it so wonho is like who?? Cuz hed say dumb stuff like he has nice skin. Wth shownu😑

SHOWHONON thats cute omg also im sorry for taking 20 years to reply i saw this ask nd raced 2 my gc nd now we’re all talking abt showho nd McCrying ....

buT goD KGJHAJK THEY’D BOTH B SO DUMB ABT IT ..... they’re both being as obvious as possible (but like . to their Varying degrees) nd there’s so much Whining to their friends afterwards .... wonho to kihyun nd hyungwon nd he’s like “what the Hell im literally spelling it out for him how does he Not Know !!!!!” nd kihyun nd hyungwon are like ???? ur literally crushing on shownu noah fence but what did u Expect . nd wonho’s like hm ur all Right but also die for not being supportive >:(

nd shownu to minhyuk is like ,,,, what do i do ,,,,,,, i’ve literally only ever liked wonho but now im 99% sure he likes someone on my swim team which leaves me with one (1) option nd thats to quit the swim team nd become a hermit nd minhyuk is like Dramatic but mood :/ why dont u just tell him outright nd shownu’s like um wym ,,,,, i’d rather just :/ Not .

nd shownu’s reluctance to actually Communicate w wonho is what drives a wedge between them nd shownu starts avoiding wonho more,,, goes to practice at random times so wonho cant catch him,,,, tells him hes too busy studying to hang out nd like . temporarily lives in the jookyun dorm nd this Breaks wonho’s heart bc hes not sure what he did wrong or why shownu is being so distant nd he corners minhyuk nd minhyuk’s like :-) go ask him urself im not ur messenger so wonho literally camps out in the swimming pool nd at 5am shownu strolls in nd wonho’s like >:( SON HYUNWOO . DOES OUR 14 YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP MEAN NOTHING TO YOU nd shownu’s like oh wormie gotta blast but wonho wont let him nd he’s like talk to me please why are u avoiding me did i do something wrong i’ll fix it i promise i just want us to be friends again nd shownu’s like yikes lol i got Friendzoned nd he starts to feel bitter nd annoyed again bc the object of wonho’s affection isnt Him so he jsut !! shoulders past wonho nd tells him its nothing hes just been really busy lately but wonho isnt having it so he pushes shownu into the pool nd storms off after telling shownu to cool down before finding him nd shownu just . floats on the water nd beats himself up over the fact that he was so Cold 2 his best friend nd the Love of his life

shownu actually goes to look for wonho afterwards but he gets 2 nervous to say anything nd just paces around in front of his dorm until kihyun gets annoyed by the soft thuds nd is like wonho go fucking . talk 2 him . hes gonna wear a hole in front of our door nd wonho’s like >:( i dont wanna >:((((((( but kihyun’s threatening him w an econs textbook nd hes like fine !!! i’ll go !!!!! nd he opens the door nd shownu’s like o fuc . hello . my friend . i have something to say . lets go take a walk 

nd basically shownu just stumbles over everything he wants to say nd it just ends up frustrating wonho more bc why cant !!! he be clear !!!! nd hes just like shownu . take some time to think abt what u want to say to me before he goes back home nd shownu’s left alone nd he just . goes to nearest convenience store 2 sadly eat noodles until minhyuk finds him nd is like :-( u big Stupid . u had one (1) job nd shownu’s like i know :(

[tillman]

OK, fun knight facts... Dinaden? I headcanon him as ace.

ok i had a bit written out earlier today and then my wifi went down and i lost it and i gave up but im ready. im ready to tackle dinadan again. 

starting out. i need you to know i literally adore dinadan hes one of my favorite knights hes such a good man he truly is one of the good ones. dinadan is one of the smartest knights there is, and one of the absolute kindest. he has the kay thing of hiding this behind snark and layers of assholeness but he cares so much for his friends he literally ends up dying for them. i have so much love in my heart for him i . oh ym god . dinadan . oh my g

theres a lot to cover but ill list the ones i know mostly off the top of my head since hes . honestly an important figure in le morte and some other tales. yes this is because of how close he is iwth lancelot but i think its sweet anyways ok. 

thats a thing. dinadans best friends r tristan and lancelot. he TRULY actually ends up dying for tristan and dies fully in lancelots arms. its . a lot. he loves these two more than he loves anything or anyone else in the entire world. to him they are his world! 

he doesnt give ashit about knightly stuff. he thinks courtly love is stupid. he thinks jousting is a waste of time, and usually ends up making gareth or tristan do it. i honestly think he doesnt even like being a knight, but he loves the comrady of it all. hes not big on passion in general but i thikn the love and dedication he puts into his friendships is just like. genuinely admirable. 

sorry all i can think about is him being a good friend but its just my favortite part about him hes so sweet. he and lancelot share a room for a bit during a tournament, and after lancelot gets so mad at a letter king mark sent and takes one of his usual depression naps, dinadan is instantly like “ok whats the best way to make him feel better. how can i help him feel even a little better about this shitty situation” and puts everythign aside to help lancelot calm down and they end up writing a shitty lay together andsending it to be played in front of mark. double whammy, he also means for it to help tristan feel a bit better as hes out there. its jsut so nice.

i think my favorite dinadan moment is the fact him and tristan bicker. they just constantly are at each others throats and seem like they hate each other but after mark kills tristan, dinadan goes fucking Mad. he gets pissed. he goes straight to mark and tries to kill him himself. hesj ust such a good fucking FRIEND. yes this leads to his death ultimately but he . he tried. he gave his life for his friend and ended up dying in his other bros arms. how fucking . god . oh my god.

anyways uhh him and palamides share a bed in the joyous gard one time because him and tristan were so set on making gareth comfortable. god hes so fucking cute . dinadan and lancelot r gareths fucking DADS. 

and i can see ace dinadan? personally i kinda see him more as just a gay dude whos seen what romance has done to his close friends nad just kinda got disillusioned with it all. i really love the idea of him and lancelot being able to be happy together. dinadan can have little a kiss with his best friend. 

[kaiuhs-blog]

i want them all tick tock

Send “✆” for a MORNING text.

[ junior year of high school, 2011 ] [6:05am] kaia ➝ teagan: hey ur awake right[6:08am] kaia ➝ teagan: TEAGS U BETTER BE AWAKE[6:08am] kaia ➝ teagan: U SAID U WOULD DRIVEM TO SCHOOL TODAY[6:08am] kaia ➝ teagan: TEAGS I DEADASS DON’T HAVE A RIDE ITS TOO LATE FOR ME TO TAKE THE BUS[8:04am] kaia ➝ teagan: fuck u i walked n hitch hiked w a soccer mom on the way .

Send “” for a text that WASN’T SENT.

[ sophomore year of college, 2013 ] [2:14am] kaia ➝ teagan: i know graham is ur boyfriend and all and ur in love but i just miss the days where it was just us and you weren’t busy with him all the time. he’s a nice guy but there are times i can’t help but feel like he’s stealing you away from me [2:15am] kaia ➝ teagan: i just miss it when it was just us two against the world why did stella have to come along and steal u awayERROR! TEXT MESSAGE NOT SENT! REVIEW THE MESSAGE AND TRY AGAIN!

Send “☎” for a RUSHED text.

[11:43pm] kaia ➝ teagan: TEAGSKISDT HEL PME[11:45pm] kaia ➝ teagan: THEYP ULELD ME UPT O THE ROOF[11:46pm] kaia ➝ teagan: TEHEY WANT TO PUSH EMIRNTO THE POOL[11:47pm] kaia ➝ teagan: HELPTEAGS U KNOWI CANTEHANDLE HIEHGTS HELP

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

[3:43am] kaia ➝ teagan: teagan whdy are u stilul my friend aure u srue u aren’t sjust pretending[3:45am] kaia ➝ teagan: we'sre best frmiedns buat sometimehs i feel likhe we’re just irdfting atrap[3:50am] kaia ➝ teagan: i dalways supporlt and deefdn u but whenevre i need yu i feel likce ur never thjere[3:51am] kaia ➝ teagan: i just want ym best firend 

Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text.

[10:57pm] kaia ➝ teagan: why don’t u two should just have an honest fuckign convo like normal people.. i’m always going to be on ur side but it’s been months and i just want u guys to fucking resolve this properly already

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

[2:21am] kaia ➝ teagan: help me graham’s drunk again[2:22am] kaia ➝ teagan: he’s doing such weird things n keeps rambling [2:25am] kaia ➝ teagan: HE’S A FUCKKING MESS HELP ME TEAGS IDK WHAT TO DO[2:27am] kaia ➝ teagan: SHOULD I JUST LEAVE HIM DRUNK ON THE BEACH

Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text.

[ junior year of high school, 2011 ] [9:30am] kaia ➝ teagan: SO IT TURNS OUT I HAD A POP QUIZ THIS MORNING AND I MISSED IT BC I WAS LATE BC SOMEONE!!! OVERSLEPT[9:34am] kaia ➝ teagan: WHY COULDN’T U JUST WAKE UP ON TIME LIKE A NORMAL PERSON [9:35am] kaia ➝ teagan: THE TEACHER WON’T LET ME TAKE THE QUIZ EITHER BC I WAS LATE WHAT TH EFUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO[9:35am] kaia ➝ teagan: I HATE YOU SO MUCH U KNOW U WERE MY ONLY RIDE TO SCHOOL TODAY

Send “@” for a SCARED text.

[5:31pm] kaia ➝ teagan: DUDE TEHRE’S FUCKING FROG NIT HE HOUSE[5:35pm] kaia ➝ teagan: OH YM GODITS JUST HOPPING [5:36pm] kaia ➝ teagan: I SWEAR TO FUKCING GOD IT JUST SMILED AT ME1!!!!

Send “&” for a LOVING text.

[4:03pm] kaia ➝ teagan: hey i just wanted u to know htat i love u[4:06pm] kaia ➝ teagan: thanks for sticking by my side through all these years even though u totally could’ve but i mean u probably stayed for the money or wtvr :/[4:06pm] kaia ➝ teagan: anyways… thank u for being my best friend ig….

Send “%” for a CURIOUS text.

[8:59am] kaia ➝ teagan: hey so like…….where tf did u disappear off to last night[9:00am] kaia ➝ teagan: u were gonna watch that video of jude’s lapdance but u just stood up n walked off are u good were the aliens contacting u again[9:02am] kaia ➝ teagan: is that why u just got up all of a sudden were they trying to telepathically speak to u

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

[1:15am] kaia ➝ teagan: HEY RMEMEBER HOW PEPPY THE HAMSTER DIED???[1:18am] kaia ➝ teagan: BUT PEPPY HAD A DAUGHTER W PENNY THE HAMSTER[1:19am] kaia ➝ teagan: WELL PENNY THE HAMSTER’S DAUGHET JSUT GAVE BIRTH IM A GREAT GRANDMOTHER!!!!!! IM A GREAT GRANDMA!!!! FUCKS YEAH

Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

[1:48pm] kaia ➝ teagan:  According to all known lawsof aviation,  there is no way a beeshould be able to fly.  Its wings are too small to getits fat little body off the ground.  The bee, of course, flies anyway  because bees don’t carewhat humans think is impossible.  Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Yellow, black. Yellow, black.  Ooh, black and yellow!Let’s shake it up a little.  Barry! Breakfast is ready!  Ooming!  Hang on a second.  Hello?  - Barry?- Adam?  - Oan you believe this is happening?- I can’t. I’ll pick you up.  Looking sharp.  Use the stairs. Your fatherpaid good money for those.  Sorry. I’m excited.  Here’s the graduate.We’re very proud of you, son.  A perfect report card, all B’s.  Very proud.  Ma! I got a thing going here.  - You got lint on your fuzz.- Ow! That’s me!  - Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.- Bye!  Barry, I told you,stop flying in the house!  - Hey, Adam.- Hey, Barry.  - Is that fuzz gel?- A little. Special day, graduation.  Never thought I’d make it.  Three days grade school,three days high school.  Those were awkward.  Three days college. I’m glad I tooka day and hitchhiked around the hive.  You did come back different.  - Hi, Barry.- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.  - Hear about Frankie?- Yeah.  - You going to the funeral?- No, I’m not going.  Everybody knows,sting someone, you die.  Don’t waste it on a squirrel.Such a hothead.  I guess he could havejust gotten out of the way.  I love this incorporatingan amusement park into our day.  That’s why we don’t need vacations.  Boy, quite a bit of pomp…under the circumstances.  - Well, Adam, today we are men.- We are!  - Bee-men.- Amen!  Hallelujah!  Students, faculty, distinguished bees,  please welcome Dean Buzzwell.  Welcome, New Hive Oitygraduating class of…  …9:15.  That concludes our ceremonies.  And begins your careerat Honex Industries!  Will we pick ourjob today?  I heard it’s just orientation.  Heads up! Here we go.  Keep your hands and antennasinside the tram at all times.  - Wonder what it’ll be like?- A little scary.[1:50pm] kaia ➝ teagan: why the FUCK DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENIND I JUST WNAN TEXT IN PEACE 

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

[2:24am] kaia ➝ teagan: sometimes i feel like we’re not as close as we used to be when we were younger. i know we’ve been best friends for such a long time and life is bound to do that to people, but i feel like you only hang around me still because of this whole stupid pretending to be the benefactor situation. back in sophomore year, when you were with graham i was completely thrilled for you, of course i was, he made you happy and you’re my fucking best friend! but then you guys started falling deeper and deeper in love, and then suddenly all of our study sessions and nights together trying to cook became coffee runs with him and weekends out in the city with him. suddenly i wasn’t your best friend anymore, but he was. [2:25am] kaia ➝ teagan: and then when you two broke up? i was heartbroken for you guys, how could i not be? he made you so so happy and you guys were so perfect for each other. but then i finally had my best friend back. even though we’ve gotten a lot closer again then before, i still feel like you only come running back to me because it’s what you’re used to. i feel like i’m only your best friend because we’ve been best friends for so long and it’s just something you’re used to, and i don’t want to be someone you rely on just because it’s like a routine.