#literally hung Garland up to dry

[a-constant-vibration]

Is Tommy McGrath always a piece of work? I can’t stand this man. What a Hefty sack of dryer sheets. Respect for Chief Garland?? Try again, dude.

[jeonggukkiepabo]

LONELY CHRISTMAS [MIN YOONGI] | FAMILY GATHERINGS

SUMMARY: Christmas has always been your second favorite holiday of the year, especially since you and your boyfriend Yoongi were literally inseperatable. Well, usually you were. But BTS gets more and more famous - world tours, award shows and other idol priorities making it almost impossible to spend this year’s Christmas with your second family. 

WARNINGS: so much fluff, but also the dirty kind of smut. fingering, oral (male and female receiving), choking, spitting, raw sex (i dont need to say anything, do i?), switch!yoongi, switch!reader, fighting for dominance, Yoongi being meow meow but also rawr.

QUOTES USED: 2. “That’s the eggnog talking. I’m cutting you off.” 4.  “Don’t be such a Scrooge.” 6. “It’s snowing.” 7. “Open it.” 9. “I’m just happy you’re here.” 24.  “Is this the part where we kiss?” 31.  “Help me decorate.” 

Now; Merry (early) Christmas, celebrate well & enjoy this filthy ride to hell.

Also, a big thanks to @holyfluffly​, who spent her precious time reading through this & checking for any mistakes. ♥

Since December started to come around – and you finally decided that it was time to stop binging on your favorite Halloween movies -, your house changed from spoopy graveyard to Rudolph’s shed. Fairy lights and beautiful garlands were hung up everywhere and once you plugged all your Christmas lights in, your house was lighter than “Son Goku in his final form”. At least that’s what Jungkook used to describe it when he first stepped into your winter wonderland. It was a tradition your boys always teased you with, but it was a tradition you brought with you from your home country that you wouldn’t want to miss. Your mother used to hang up lights everywhere, different Christmas shapes (you once had this weird reindeer light that looked more like a stabbed donkey, but… well) on every window and your balcony while she said “No matter how far apart we are, your light shines on me” – and 2 years after her death, was your most favorite thing to do once the calendar hit December. That, and ordering a shit ton of products from the LUSH and Bath and Body Works Christmas range. Jimin really loved the welcoming smell of cotton candy and gingerbread men, but Jin would sneeze when you sprayed all their pillows with the Snow Fairy body spray.

Usually, it was Taehyung’s favorite task to pick out a Christmas tree with you, decorating it with the entire family (that obviously consisted of all his band mates, their dogs and you), but this time it was just you, Tannie and Holly  walking around the tree field and picking a random one, much smaller than what  you’d usually get. There won’t be any presents underneath it anyway. Decorating wasn’t any fun, your Christmas playlist wasn’t helping, the smell of cotton candy wasn’t sweet enough. You made way too many Christmas cookies that wouldn’t be eaten. Your favorite pair of fuzzy socks had a huge hole in them and, oh well, your boyfriend wouldn’t be there for this year’s Christmas.

“Don’t be such a Scrooge, Y/N! It’s festive season!”, Jungkook yelled from somewhere behind Yoongi, energetic as always. “I wouldn’t be a Scrooge if my boyfriend and my friends would be here, celebrating the fest of love with me.” You mumbled quietly, a heavy sigh leaving your chest. It was currently the 17th of December, the first snow has fallen over Seoul, your fireplace crackling softly in the background. Yet, you were freezing. “Jagi, come on. It’s just another day of the year, we’ll be fine. We have New Year’s together, what’s the deal?” Your boyfriend didn’t care that much about festive traditions, hating the thought of Valentine’s Day or Halloween, not even speaking about the stress he always has around the Christmas season. For them, worldwide superstars, it was just another workday.

“You’re just happy you don’t need to wear one of our Christmas sweaters, huh?”, you scolded him, knowing his hate for the scratchy sweaters with the ugly patterns that you always made him and the boys wear for photos and your Christmas dinner at home. “Yeah, I won’t even start talking about those Rudolph ears you bought for our photo last year…”, Yoongi smirked. “I loved those!”, you vaguely heard the voice of Jimin in the background, Taehyung agreeing him on that. “I still wear those whenever I wash my face, thank you Y/N!” Sighing, you wished you were right there, with your loud and energetic boys, instead you were suffering on your own, the pout never leaving your lips.

“Boys, you’ve got 10 Minutes left!”, their tour manager interrupted your sulking, Yoongi nodding at him. “We’ll be right there.” He smiles at your pout, sticking out his bottom lip as well. “I’ll call you after the show, okay? Will you be still awake?” BTS was currently on world tour, playing somewhere in Europe and the time differences made it rougher than ever to talk to your boyfriend every day. You shrug, shivering under the thought of another sleepless night without your love, without the sounds of Taehyung and Jungkook fighting over some videogame and without the thought of Jin’s delicious breakfast to wake up to. “I guess I will, see you later, Yoongs. Bye Tae, bye Jungkook, bye Jiminie!”, you wave to the boys you considered family before smiling sadly at Yoongi. “Good luck, I’m sure you guys will rock that country! I love you.” “I love you too, Jagi. I’ll text you before I’m going to call you, okay? Try and rest.” “Bye, Noona!” Then the screen went black, all you could see was your own sad appearance in one of Yoongi’s oversized Hoodies.

Days went by, you didn’t have the chance to talk very much to Yoongi because of yours and their working schedule, they were currently in the States to record another hit song with some famous American singer that would explode on the Charts the second it comes out. Sure, you loved your boy’s music, you could listen to them sing and rap for hours, they worked hard and deserved all their success – but you didn’t wonder that all of them weren’t in a relationship. Tour life was hard, not only for their girlfriends but for them, too. A simple picture from across the world with a random girl could ruin relationships, just because of a misunderstanding. When you and Yoongi started dating a couple of years ago, Jin had a long-distance relationship – which already sucks for ‘normal’ human beings, but for worldwide superstars? A catastrophe because you couldn’t just come home to your significant other. It was over for them after a few months because she met a nice guy from her apartment complex, because he was there while Jin wasn’t. It was sad, especially for the Maknaes, because they needed affection, they needed their experience, they needed love. Instead, they had to have One Night Stands, making sure that those girls wouldn’t talk about their “night with BTS”. Truth be told it was too much work to find a girl to get laid, so they’d simply refuse, giving into their frustration and suffer from loneliness.

With Yoongi, things were easy. He didn’t get jealous whenever you hung out with other guys, but he also didn’t give you any reason to be jealous as well. People always describe him as “cold”, “depressed” or “weird guy that’s always quiet”, but once he warmed up to you, he was even funnier than Jin, his dry humor and loving gestures winning over your heart immediately. He was a family person, loving to be in a cozy home surrounded by his bandmates and you, even if he’d never say that out loud, all of them knew it. Yoongi was a loving person, whether he was showing it or not.

The 20th December rolled around quicker than you thought, last minute presents were bought, the house completely decorated and one Christmas movie after the other was playing on TV – but you were still sulking. “You didn’t even help me decorate! I had to do all of that by myself!”, you switched your phone camera so you could show Jimin how beautiful the living room looked, smiling at his little pout. “Noona!”, he whined, “Don’t be angry, okay? I promise you I’ll decorate for New Year’s all by myself.” “Don’t worry, Jiminie, it’s not your fault you can’t be here. Where’s Hobi? I’m watching his favorite Christmas movie, but I can’t get in the mood without my sunshine.” Jimin looks around, his lips twitching, but he remained quiet. “Jimin?” “He’s… uhhhh… He’s doing stuff with Yoongi and Tae?” You raise an eyebrow at him, taking another sip of the creamy eggnog you ordered online because it was nowhere to be found in Seoul. “Are you lying, Jiminie?” “No, but… Oh, Jungkook calls for me, bye Noona!” Sighing, you dropped your phone aside, head tilting towards the window while a soft smile appeared on your lips. It’s snowing.

On the 24th December, the boys had their last official concert of the year – in Australia. A 13-hour flight away, plus the two-hour time difference that made your heart sink, because whenever you were ready to call Yoongi, he was already too tired because of the concert and travel exhaustion. As one of the idol’s girlfriend, it was basically your job to watch their performances, you streamed all of them, no matter what time it was in your time zone, but it wasn’t as good as it would be when you were there. You loved going to their concerts, not standing backstage to watch the show, no. You preferred going into the crowd, singing and dancing along with ARMYs from around the world and watching your family from down there, enjoying their glow and sensual performances from a fan’s perspective. But today, it was just you and your laptop, watching the stream in your bed, a cup of your favorite tea beside you, Tannie on your lap and Holly somewhere besides you under the blanket, asleep like always. A smile was plastered on your face as you saw that all of them were wearing those “stupid Rudolph ears” – even if Yoongi looked grumpier than ever. You were fascinated as always – how could those cute little boys turn into Korean gods within two seconds? Of course, the Maknaes were the center of attention, fans chanting for them, dancing and screaming – you couldn’t deny the fact that they looked great, but exhaustion was plastered on all of their faces. Your eyes were plastered on the smol bean that caught your heart and as if he knew, he smiled into the camera, giving it a finger heart.

The 25th December was rough, you didn’t even want to get out of bed, staying under the covers for several hours after waking up. There was no reason so get up if there wasn’t anyone to give presents to. You didn’t use your phone, watching The Nightmare before Christmas again because if you acted like it was still Halloween, you wouldn’t be as sad that you were alone on your second favorite holiday of the year. It was around 12pm when the two dogs came into your room, whimpering because you didn’t take them out yet. “Ugh, fine, fine. Let me grab my shoes and we’ll go out”, you mumbled groggily while heaving your tired body out of bed. Pulling your slippers over your cold toes as you tied your hair out of your face. You didn’t plan to go out for too long, so you didn’t even try to make yourself look good. Humming the movie’s soundtrack, you made your way downstairs, surprised by the warm scent of cinnamon and vanilla that filled the house. “Huh, did I leave my candles on?” With furrowed eyebrows you  check the living room, not wanting to burn the entire house down on Christmas, but you stood still in shock when you realized why it smelled just the way it did.

Jimin and Jin were busy in the kitchen, baking cookies and cooking up your Christmas dinner. Jungkook and Taehyung were building a giant gingerbread house while Namjoon sat besides them, frustrated over his own ruined house laying in broken pieces. Hobi placing all of the presents underneath the Christmas tree while Yoongi sat on the couch, Holly on his lap and a loving smile on his face as he saw you in your sleepy state with a frown on your face. “Merry Christmas, babe.”

Suddenly, seven pairs of eyes were on you, smiles beaming across the entire room and seconds later you were caught in a warm, cozy group hug. “Surprise, Noona!”, Jungkook beamed as he pressed a kiss on your cheek, receiving a flip against his forehead from Yoongi. “Lips away, you can kiss Taehyung, not my girl.” Taehyung’s cheeks burned a bright red, Jungkook looked away while biting his lips and Jimin just smirked but pressed you tight against his body. “We’re glad to be back.” Jin groaned, pulling you out of the hug. “Let that poor girl alone, she needs to collect her thoughts first. Look at her”, he pointed towards your face, shock still written across it as you looked into each of your boys’ faces. “You… I mean, how… You were… Australia?” Your boyfriend laughed, now pulling you into a tight hug while burying his nose in your hair, inhaling the familiar scent that always calmed him down. “We’re here, that’s all that matters.” “We took the first plane back home, but we’ve been waiting for you to get up since 9AM, what did you do? It’s Christmas, usually you’d set an alarm at 6AM to run and check your presents”, Hobi pouted, pointing towards the tree.

“I didn’t have a reason to be up, so I watched The Nightmare before Christmas. But now, I’m just happy you’re here”, you smiled fondly at all of them, “Open your presents. Especially you, Babe. Open it!” You clap your hands excitedly, jumping up and down as you hand them their presents: a big, soft blanket for Jimin, so he can roll himself up in it and be cozy the entire holidays. A new Japanese knife for Jin, because Namjoon broke his favorite knife when he tried to cut through a book – don’t ask, nobody knows why he did that. Namjoon got a new KAWs figure he didn’t have the chance to buy yet while Hoseok got a new Palm Angels hoodie. Taehyung and Jungkook got some games for their PlayStation and a set of new controllers, because… well, Jungkook tends to destroy them when he’s in a rage. Yoongi’s present was hard to find because he basically has everything he wants and you weren’t too familiar with all those high end music technologies that you could give him, so you decided on a spa weekend over the holidays, just the two of you in a fancy wellness resort. Exactly what he needed after that tour. “Y/N, you must be poor by now! I should have gotten you a gift card or something”, Taehyung pouted, “You spent way too much on our presents!” You smiled, shaking your head and pressed a soft kiss on his cheeks. “Everything for my family. You’re all that I have left.”

The day went by way too fast; a fabulous Christmas buffet was set up by Jin, eggnog and wine handpicked by the youngest Maknae and Christmas movies of Jimin’s choice made up for all the days you spent sulking in your room. “I love you guys so much. I can’t believe you surprised me like that! Ugh, I really thought I had to spend Christmas with just the dogs.” You placed your head on Yoongi’s shoulder, cuddling deeper into the soft material of his hoodie while he rubbed your shoulder. “That’s the eggnog talking, love. You’re the anchor of our little family, we couldn’t be apart from you over the holidays, Jungkook would’ve driven us crazy and Namjoon would set the hotel on fire while trying to light a Christmas candle”, Yoongi mumbled. “A Christmas wonder! Yoongi confessed his feelings! Tweet that, Namjoon!”, Hoseok yelled while earning a slap on the back of his head from Jimin. “Don’t scare him, he’s like a deer right now, if we just ignore it, maybe he’ll say something nice about us too!” Yoongi just rolled his eyes, pulling you closer toward his small frame while mumbling “Idiots”.

It was past  midnight, your tummies filled with delicious snacks and desserts, brain fogged because of the amount of alcohol all of you drank that day – and you were just happy to finally be in bed with your boyfriend again. “You know how lonely the nights were without you? Not just you, but also the boys. I even missed Jungkook’s animal imitations”, you sighed, “I missed breakfast, without Jin all I ate was toast and cucumbers. I’m lucky to be part of your family.” Yoongi smiled, a precious, rare smile that showed all his love for you.

“I had time to think on tour, you know. It’s rough, you not being there with me, I saw all those places, cities and famous buildings, but didn’t have you to share those moments with. I had dinner with Taehyung right in front of the Eiffel Tower, I shared a Pizza in Venice with Jungkook, had beer with Hoseok in Berlin, but I wish I had all those moments with you, love. So, I’m bad at this stuff, you know that. The entire world knows that, but you also know that I love you. And I wish you could be the person by my side on tour, on every tour. I wish you could be my +1 at events, dinner parties or during award shows. I even talked to our management, because an ‘official girlfriend’ is dangerous for all of us. But I didn’t want the world to meet you as my girlfriend, Y/N. I want them to finally meet you as my wife, the woman that won’t ever leave my side. This is probably trashy and I could use better opportunities for that, but… Y/N, my love, my flower, my angel, would you marry me?” Yoongi, the smooth guy he was, pulled out a simple yet beautiful rosé gold ring – without a box – from the pocket of his sweats, sitting in front of you on your bed, crossed legs and a nervous smile on his face. You couldn’t hide the pout on your face, lips quivering and tears dwelling in your eyes while you looked at the beautiful man in front of you, the beautiful ring in his hands and outside, snowflakes fall from the sky. Everything was perfect. “Yoongi… Yes! Fuck, of course!”, you jumped into his lap, not caring about the pling your engagement ring made when it fell to the floor, because right now, your fiancé was more important. You showered his face in kisses, not caring the slightest about the grumpy noises he made – even if they were fake, because he was just as happy as you were. His smile was beautiful, something you didn’t see that much because he seldom smiled so brightly even his bottom teeth were showing. “Is that the part where we kiss?”

You didn’t hesitate to press your lips onto his, soft and loving, sweet and tender. “Min Yoongi, is that the part where you turn into the sweet little kitten your fandom thinks you are?” Smirking, Yoongi growls at you, showing you his teeth once more. “Oh baby, I’m going to show you that nothing on my body is little.” His lips were back on yours, his hands buried in your hair as he made his way between your legs, almost crushing you with the comfortable weight of his body on yours. Whatever loving, sweet innocent kiss you shared before, this one was completely different. It gave way to heated passion as you both continue the lustful, erotic exchange. Yoongi’s shaking but skilled hands started to peel off your ugly Christmas sweater and the rest of your clothes, falling to the floor forgotten, before he gently bites along your jaw and the nape of your neck, leaving a trail of love bites on the way down there. Your moans fill the room that still smells like cinnamon and cotton candy, combined with Yoongi’s musky scent and the sweet scent of a heated make-out session. With his lips still attached to your soft skin, you take the opportunity to catch him off guard and flip both your bodies into a new position; you now straddling his slim waist. Yoongi’s lips widened in shock, then turned into a bright smirk. “Someone’s feisty.” You just smile at him sweetly, cutting off his words as you wrap your hands around his beautiful throat, leaning your face towards his ear. “I wouldn’t speak  like that in such a position, Babe.”

Yoongi’s voice hitched, “Y/N”, he whined. The same hand that restricted his airways comes up to slightly slap his scruffed cheek, but it had still enough force to leave a sting that reminded him not to speak up anymore. “Aren’t you going to be a good boy? Or should I call you a good little kitten? Would you like that?” He shakes his head quickly, baring his teeth once more. “Shut that, love. You won’t be able to tame a lion. I’m not a small kitten.” He knows he could switch positions any time, hell, you knew that too. But you also knew that he enjoyed that position  too much to change anything now. Shaking your head in displeasure, you crawl down the bed to be at eye level with his beautiful cock. The cock  that had you limping almost every night, that never fails to give you pleasure, that already sends tingles to your core. Your hands were cold against the prominent vine that ran from his shaft to his leaking tip, red and sensitive as you licked your finger to circle around it. Tiny moans – mewls – left his mouth, causing you to giggle. You knew it. His balls were tight, full and hurting. He was away for so long, having almost no time to pleasure himself. You cooed, the other hand coming up to gently play with them, rolling them around as you kept applying pressure to his tip. Yoongi’s groans got louder and louder once your mouth was finally working its magic on him, his hands buried inside the loose strands of your hair, trying to shove you down deeper. Much to your displeasure.

You hissed, letting go of his length as you crawled up to sit on his toned chest. Smiling, you slid your fingers through your soaked folds, holding them in front of his sweaty face. “Suck.” Oh, and how he sucks. His tongue working circles around your digit, collecting your sweet juices as he hums happily. “You’re my toy. A fucking toy, do you understand that? You don’t get to make rules here, Yoongi. If I want to suck your cock, I’ll do it how I want, not how you want it. Or did I miss something?” You made sure his eyes never left yours, fingers still inside his  mouth – and you just decided to shove them down a bit deeper, making him gag around them just like he wants you to gag around his cock. “I asked you something, pretty babe. Mind answering?” Yoongi hums again, not able to speak with your fingers down his throat, but it was good enough of a try for you. It wasn’t every day you got the chance to dominate Min Yoongi, you were sure to getting everything out of it. You pulled your now wet digits out of his mouth, wiping away his spit somewhere in his mint colored hair, as you turned around to sit on his face, just like he loves you to do. By now, his only problem was holding back his load, eating your pussy wouldn’t help with that though. “Now, are you going to cum for me, precious? While devouring my pussy? I bet you’d like that, huh?” Yoongi hums again, his hands already on your ass to spread your cheeks, allowing him to dive deep into your pussy, drinking your juices, slurping them down like a fine, ripe wine. Teasingly, you continued to jerk him off, enjoying the tension in his body, his concentration on your pussy rather than his own orgasm. “Mh, wait. I changed my mind. Hold it, you don’t have my permission just yet”, you laughed as you squeezed his balls – but he wasn’t able to control it or hold it back. His cock twitched uncontrollably, one small rope of cum leaving the tip. “Ugh, look at that”, you sighed while shaking your head, sitting down deeper on his face – your ass now flat against his forehead as his tongue, the oh so famous rapper tongue, worked its wonders.

If Yoongi was frustrated, he didn’t show it. He knew better. Even though it was his first real orgasm in weeks, his first ruined orgasm in weeks, he stood up the man he was and continued what he was here for. Pleasuring his fiancé. Just before your orgasm arrived, you crawled down again, collecting the small puddle of cum with your tongue and fed it to your soon to be husband. You let him taste himself, he swallowed greedily. “Such a good boy”, you purr while wiping the sweat from his forehead. “Now, I hope you know who you belong to.” Yoongi just nods, licking his lips to still taste you. “Tell me who you belong to, Yoongi”, you command.

“You, babe. Only you. I belong to you”, Yoongi moans out as you started to grind against his smooth thigh, picking up your desired pace as you used him to satisfy your own desire. His hands were on your hips, guiding you and helping you to speed up, but just before your orgasm reached his peak, just one little rock of your hips missing, he turned you around, leaving you with a ruined orgasm as well. “Fucking son of a bi-“, your frustration interrupted by Yoongi’s teeth biting into your nipple, his hand smacking your other tit. “Oh, that’s not a nice word, baby”, he pouts while pinching both of your erect buds with a bit too much force. A sharp stinging sensation radiating through your body. “Fuck, Yoongi”, you moaned, desperate for release. “Now, now”, he tzed as he looked down at your trembling body. “Sucks to be played with, huh?” Elegant fingers started to rub circles into your swollen nub, your body rising from the mattress just to be pushed back by your fiancé. “Still”, he orders, plunging two of his long, delicate fingers into your dripping hole. Yet, you needed more. “Yoongi”, you whined. “Are you going to be a good girl now? Instead of a fucking brat?” “Yes!”, you cried out, tears running down your cheeks, hoping he’d just do something. “Good, because bad girls disgust me”, he spoke through clenched teeth as he pulled out his fingers and shoved his cock inside you within seconds. “Fuck fuck fuck, yes!”

“Shut up! Or do you want the boys to come in and join you, huh? You want our little Maknae see how stuffed you are?” Yoongi always knew about your affection for Jungkook, the way his doe eyes always make your heart jump, leaving it impossible to deny whatever he wanted from you while addressing you as his ‘favorite Noona’. You were weak for him, but you wouldn’t want him to see you in such a situation. Shaking your head in shame, you pout as you dig your heels into his ass to get him to move faster. “Make me cum, please. I love you”, you whine, word for word leaving your lips as he thrusts deep and powerful into your clenching hole. Just before another beg could leave your lips, Yoongi’s index finger slipped past them, your chin securely trapped between his thumb and middle finger. His other hand slowly found its place on your neck. “Look at you”, he smiles. “Such a good girl, knowing how to beg like a big girl.” You whimper again, squeezing around him as he slowed his pace with a devilish smirk. Your lips played with the tip of his finger while the thumb of his other hand came down to circle your clit painfully slow, spitting onto it and watching his finger mixing it with your arousal. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, both of your hands gripping the wrist that was choking you. “Tighter, please”, you gasped out, enjoying the feeling of almost no air coming to your lungs. Oh, how Yoongi loved to see you struggle for air, just as much as you loved to be on the receiving end. “You gonna come for me, angel?”, he growled as he tightened his grip, already feeling his own orgasm approaching. “Going to cum around my thick cock, huh?” You nod, already seeing spots in your vision, your orgasm shooting through your body just like a firework as soon as Yoongi released you, allowing the blood to shoot back into your head. You couldn’t control your body anymore, gushing against him as you rode out your high with closed eyes. That alone triggered Yoongi’s orgasm, a loud scream leaving his lips as he finally released inside you. “Fuck, you squirted all over me”, he groaned while looking at the mess you made, his stomach glistering in your juices. “I don’t care, I want to snuggle my Grinch now”, you pouted with grabby hands, smiling happily as Yoongi obeyed.

“I think we lost the ring somewhere between our clothes”, Yoongi mumbles with his sleepy voice, “I hope Taehyung won’t find it, he was the one that chose it – ‘If Y/N says no, I’ll wear that one happily’.” Suddenly you’re wide awake, knees on the floor and digging through your clothes to find the symbol of your love. “Got it!”, you yelled as you threw it to Yoongi, holding your left hand in front of his face. “You’ve got the honor, babe.” Smiling, he slid the ring over your finger. The black diamonds sparkling in the dim light of your room, the rosé gold complimenting your skin tone perfectly, just like the man in front of you does. Your fiancé, soon to be husband, the love of your life. “Merry Christmas, love.”

[mythandlaur]

A Change in the Weather

[AO3]

Fandom: Terraria Pairing: Guide/Dryad Rating: Gen WC: 2945

Description: Another cycle has come and gone, but in the interim, a friend appears to offer comfort and show the Guide something that may indicate change is near. (References to 1.4 spoilers.)

With a twang of his bowstring, another flying fish fell from the sky, its remains quickly absorbed back into the earth leaving nothing but a few scattered coins behind.

A brief scan of the sky revealed no more of the creatures in the immediate vicinity, and the Guide turned to continue walking down the hill, not bothering to retrieve his arrow--he’d always have more when he needed them, anyway. One of the few perks.

It was times like these that he wished he had something more to do in the cycle’s dull periods than idle target practice. He didn’t mind the aimless wandering, of course, and it wasn’t like he wasn’t used to it after all this time, but he tended to get restless after a cycle’s end, especially an end like this one. He couldn’t ever be sure how much of that restlessness was his.

The rain was beginning to come down harder, now, the wind picking up, forcing Guide to take refuge under a tree. Perhaps not the best idea, if the thunder in the distance was any indication, but the worst that could happen would be him getting fried by lightning, which would be more of a nice change of pace than anything else. His shirt clung to his skin, his drenched hair fell in his face, and he had no doubt that the pitiful ring of flowers on his head was rapidly disintegrating--but even so, the rain didn’t bother him. It was a bit of a comfort, even.

Things didn’t burn as easily in the rain.

And besides, Guide was quite used to being out in the thick of it without a refuge, whether that was due to his own wanderings or a particularly mean-spirited hero who would either never give him anywhere to live or fill his entire living quarters with a thin layer of lava (really, he knew--or at least hoped--it was a coincidence, but it was one he’d prefer not to deal with more than he already had to, given the apparent love of hackey-sack he could only assume by now that most demons possessed.)

He let himself slide down the trunk of the tree until he was sitting in the mud, casting his bow off beside him and pulling off his glasses in a pitiful attempt to clean them on his soaked shirt. While the rain wasn’t a problem, the thunder in the distance and the growing wind was a bit of a concern--he hadn’t seen it storming like this in quite some time. He could try and head back the way he came, towards the little village he’d just departed, but he wasn’t certain if getting caught in a thunderstorm was better or worse than the looks he’d get and the amount of questions he’d have to give half-baked answers to.

No, on second thought, the thunderstorm was by far the better option.

Guide closed his eyes and prepared to settle in for the afternoon--not to sleep, of course, but to enjoy the sound of the rain from the refuge of the tree, the moisture under his hands, the sweet smell of life in the air. There was a comforting familiarity to it that brought to mind fonder memories, and he idly reached up a hand, almost afraid to touch the garland that sat there for fear it had dissolved.

To his surprise, not only was the garland still there, but as he touched it, the stem of one of the flowers messily sticking out from it spontaneously curled around his finger.

Guide blinked his eyes open, squinting through the rain and standing up, one hand still on the garland. A rustling sounded from above him, and his gaze turned upwards, though the top of the tree was just an indistinct blob of green with his wet glasses still in his other hand.

“If you’re gonna attack me, be my guest,” he said to the leaves, opening his arms to his sides with a bemused smirk.

More rustling, and then--a mass of lighter green seemed to practically melt out of the leaves, forming a humanoid figure that landed in a crouch on the earth with the grace of a cat. Guide slipped his glasses back on as the figure stood, and even through the raindrop trails on the lenses, he could see green hair and clothes of leaves and vines.

Most dryads looked the same, but the even brighter green eyes of this one and the style of her hair and clothes left her unmistakable.

A wry smile replaced the smirk, and he held out his arms wider. “Offer’s still open, you know.”

Alalia scoffed, though a smile as light as a spring breeze touched the corners of her lips as she shook her head. “No, no. We’ve already been through that, remember?”

“Listen, I’ve got a lot of things on my mind. You expect me to remember one dryad trying to kill me--oh, wait.” A hand went playfully to his chin, and Alalia laughed. As soft as it was, the sound alone seemed to cause all the weight and tension to drop out of his shoulders, and he couldn’t help but laugh in turn.

“Should you be out in this weather?” Alalia asked, once she’d collected herself. A tone of amusement still sang under her words. “I spoke to my sister from your hero’s village--she said you were faring well. Shouldn’t you…”

She trailed off, likely noticing all of the mirth fall off of his face. “Yeah, about that…” Guide’s gaze pointedly dropped to the ground, and he could see Alalia cringe out of the corner of his eye. He let out a heavy sigh. “Last night. Even managed to warn this one, but, you know...summoners.” The unspoken truth hung in the air for a few moments, even the sound of the rain gaining a more solemn edge. Guide glanced up and tried to force a signature smirk. “Couldn’t have waited a few more hours, huh? Inconsiderate.”

Alalia’s brows knit in concern. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine, I guess.” At her reproachful gaze, he relented. “Been better. This one died quick, at least.”

“Yes...at least…”

She trailed off. The thick, humid air between them was suddenly much less comforting, seeming to collect in his mouth to choke him as he avoided her gaze. He hated this. He hated having to keep telling her this. He hated having to go through cycle after cycle with nothing changing, always ending the same way, and him always stupidly having some spark of hope that things would be different this time around.

Honestly, he was surprised that it hadn’t squashed all the hope and humanity he had left out of him yet.

Alalia’s gentle touch to his wrist brought him out of his spiraling thoughts, and Guide looked up. Her eyes were full of concern. “Do you want to stay out here in the rain?”

Guide opened his mouth to wave off her concerns, probably with a cheeky quip, but a flicker of lightning and the low rumble of thunder immediately after made him reconsider. “...You know what, actually, nah, I’d rather not go back to being dead so fast.”

“Good.” The tight edges of her expression softened ever so slightly as her hand gripped his. “I had something to show you, anyway. You will be interested.”

The little cave entrance was as good a shelter as any, and truthfully, Guide felt a lot safer with a spirit of Terraria itself guarding him from whatever wayward creatures might appear at the opening. He sat with his back against the wall, Alalia beside him, the flickering light of a torch he’d affixed to the dirt above illuminating their refuge even as the clouds outside made it nearly dark as night.

“...Can’t remember the last time it stormed this bad,” Guide observed, still trying ineffectively to dry off his glasses. “I mean, can’t say I pay a whole lot of attention to the rain, anymore, but…”

“No, you’re right.” Alalia was turned away from him, knees curled up to her chest as she stared intently out of the cave. For a while, she didn’t elaborate, letting her statement be punctuated only by the now near-constant grumble of the sky. “...There has been a change.”

“A change?” Guide puts his glasses back on and sits up straighter. “I--we would’ve noticed something.”

“Not a large one. Not one that would have affected...it, much less you. But the world is always shifting, however slightly.” Alalia turns back to him. “Or perhaps this shift did affect it. I wanted you to take a look at something.”

“Looking at things is, quite literally, my job.”

She gave a quiet snort, and pulled out, seemingly from nowhere, a small glass jar, holding it out towards him without another word. He leaned in for a better look at the contents, squinting through the raindrops still stubbornly resting on his glasses. A leaf from a jungle tree, still budding with moisture, had been placed carefully on the bottom of the jar. On top of that was sprinkled a few blades of what he recognized as wilted Hallowed grass, and on top of that…He didn’t immediately recognize the creature. It would be easy to mistake for a common butterfly, were it not for the brilliant, vivid colors that still shone along its body and pearlescent wings, seeming to glow with a multicolored light of its own even though the creature was clearly dead.

Alalia nudged the jar closer to him, and he reached out to rest a hand against it. His eyebrows shot up as the world’s knowledge flowed through him. “A prismatic lacewing…”

“As I thought.” Alalia gave the jar and the creature within a sad smile. “The fae queen’s favorite.”

“But how?” Guide took his hand from the jar, turning his gaze back to Alalia. “No one’s seen one of these things in...well.”

“One of my sisters told me. A very small patch of Hallow reappeared at the edge of one of the jungles, clearly trying to regrow. We are not sure why. Errant souls, perhaps?” She closed her eyes and sighed. “It...did not last long, of course. It was only a few pixies and this poor creature. It died when the Hallow faded. I wanted you to see it before I returned it to the earth, since…”

She trailed off, but the implication was a heavy weight in the air. If the Hallow were to ever exist again, it would be in a world where he was well and truly dead.

“...It’s beautiful,” he managed. “I wish I could’ve seen it alive.”

“I do, too.”

Alalia offered him the jar again, and he took it in both hands, setting it in his lap and peering down at it. There was a certain roiling that grew in the pit of his stomach upon looking at a Hallowed creature, something he desperately swallowed down because he knew the feeling wasn’t his. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, made a concerted effort to relax and force the feeling back down his throat.

The creature was beautiful, regardless of its origins. He would stand by that. It was his opinion, and his alone that mattered.

Guide opened his eyes again, only to see Alalia staring at the ground with an air of melancholy about her. He glanced over in her direction, waiting for her to say something. If she wanted to, she would.

“...Do you know anything about the fae queen,” she asked, eventually. “I was very young when the Hallow vanished.”

“The Empress.” He pursed his lips, wracking his brain. “...You know I don’t remember a whole lot about...before.” Before the seal. Before the cycles. Before his role. Before it. Even his name from back then had been long lost. Perhaps that was for the best. “But I have read some things. They say she was a tyrant…”

“You know how they speak of all things Hallowed.”

“It wasn’t good, Layli. I mean--it was good. But it was too much.” His shoulders slumped, and his gaze dropped back to the butterfly. “You know about the things in the dark, but...too much light can blind a person. There’s gotta be balance.”

“I know. I just...suppose I wish that were not the way of things, at times.”

“I wish I could pretend sometimes, too. I’d be over the moon--” A brief grimace of pain crossed his face. “--okay, poor choice of words. I’d be thrilled if the world didn’t have any dark in it. Of course I would. But…”

“...it is not something someone in your position can choose to ignore,” Alalia finished.

Guide nodded. “I don’t know why they did it. Sealed the whole thing away. But...I’ve gotta believe there was a reason. I can’t not believe there was a reason.”

Alalia bit her lip, crossing her legs under her. Guide just watched the butterfly, as if it would start moving again if he stared at it long enough. They were quickly swallowed by the sound of the rain and thunder, seeming to wrap around them in a thick blanket.

“...Do you think she is...alive? The Empress? That she has not been...consumed?”

“I don’t want to ask.”

“Then don’t ask.” She watched him with a sudden, acute intensity that never failed to bring a warmth to his face. “What do you think?”

“...I think…” It took him a moment. “...I think if it couldn’t get rid of the dark souls, it couldn’t get rid of the light ones, either. From what I know, she wouldn’t go down without a fight. Maybe you’ll see her again.” And hopefully you won’t regret it.

“Yes, perhaps…” There was a slight sadness to her tone that eluded him, and she turned to stare out the cave entrance again. Another silence. Another slow, languid roll of thunder. And then; “Since when did you make flower crowns?”

Guide jolted, a bit taken aback as his hand flew to his head. He’d nearly forgotten about that. “I--uh--there’ve been a lot more flowers around lately. I needed something to do, and it, uh…” He ducked his head, suddenly unable to look directly at her. “...it made me feel better. About the whole thing.” Because it made me think of you.

When he dared to glance up, she was smiling gently at him, though there was a look in her eyes all the knowledge of the world can’t help him place. “It is a mess,” she chuckled.

“Not all of us can just grow them,” he pouted.

She reached over and plucked the garland off his head, ignoring his whine of protest and setting it down on the ground in front of them. It did look rough, now that he could see it. “I will help you make another once the storm is through.”

“I’d like that.”

They lapsed into silence once more. The thunder was growing more distant, the rain less intense, though the sky was still dark, and truthfully, Guide didn’t particularly feel like getting up and heading back out there. Even if he’d just come back to life, he was still utterly exhausted, and the gentler sound of the rain was soothing. He closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the dirt wall. He’d gotten very good at just drifting without actually sleeping. Sleeping was too dangerous. But it was so tempting…

It took him a moment to realize he’d rolled his head to the side so it was resting on Alalia’s shoulder. Guide abruptly sat up straight, scooting away from the dryad down the wall. She immediately turned to stare at him in puzzlement as his face heated up again.

“Guide.” Her voice was stern. “When was the last time you slept.”

“Last night. I was dead.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“You know how it is.” The lord of eternal nightmares was no easy curse to bear. Truthfully, he’d slept a few nights ago, unable to resist the call of a bed this hero had generously given him--and apparently, he’d gotten up in his sleep, walked out the front door, and started mowing down zombies with hellfire arrows, which was concerning on a number of levels. He hadn’t known it could do that.

It was getting stronger. Or perhaps he was finally getting weaker. It had taken long enough, he supposed.

Alalia reached out her arm towards him, the look on her face leaving no room for argument. Face still burning, he moved over to her--and as soon as he was within her reach, she wrapped an arm around his back and pulled him in so his head was resting on her shoulder. She smelled of flowers and earth and the world after rain. He thought he might drown in it.

“Rest,” she insisted, reaching up to pluck his glasses off his face. “You are safe.”

They both knew that wasn’t true. But he appreciated the sentiment.

He closed his eyes and relaxed against her, still clutching the lacewing jar in his hands. His body felt like it weighed a ton, and even though he was reluctant, the pull of sleep was too strong.

His dreams were the same as ever; flickers of fire and rage and screaming, blurry flashes of things that were wrong and awful and not meant for his waking mind to know. But even when primal fear gripped him, its hold and the images that came with it always quickly melted away, into the sound of pattering rain and the smell of petrichor.

[els-writes]

The Last Taint - Chapter 1

(Warning: a nearly 5000 word introduction to The Last Taint that I really ought to post more about because it’s literally complete...

I’m looking to build a tag list for this! So if you want to be tagged in the future, please let me know! )

‘Flower of deception’. That was what Kriesian flowers were called in other countries: a flower that grew more beautiful as it died. One lay on the ground. The grey petals crumpled and dry, purple and yellow veins creeping across them as it decomposed. The dark centre was still perfectly round, and the stalk still a soft green, even as pieces of it had already been shattered onto the pavement.

Seth didn’t notice it. He didn’t notice the lone drying flower that had fallen to rest against his thin sandals. Didn’t notice the space it had left in the garland hanging between the buildings either side of him. He barely even noticed the sting in his thigh from the tight grip of the little boy hiding behind him. Neither of them knew whether to run or simply remain frozen and wait for their fates to be decided by the three figures fighting before their eyes.

The girl still held a mostly eaten apple core in one hand. A single line of juice rolled down her thumb as she threw her body forwards towards the two men she faced. Her free fist collided with the first man’s stomach, and she hopped to the side, wriggling her shoulders in some sort of horribly inappropriate celebratory dance as he double over in pain. Her colourless eyes held a bright glee watching the man coughing, winded. The second man lunged for her. The smile fell from her eyes, and she ducked out of his reach, taking a swift bite of the apple as she moved. Her leg rose, heel kicking out. It slammed into the second man’s hip and he gave a cry of pain, staggering. Fury burned in the man’s eyes, and his head snapped around. His gaze pierced through Seth.

The Eighth Guard would know him now.

Seth was so stupid. All these years spent working and hiding, clinging to his freedom, and he’d gone and thrown it all away to stand up for some boy he didn’t even know. He should have walked away. He should have forgotten it. Curse his morals; they were going to get him killed one day.

And maybe today was that day.

“Hey!”

The sharp voice pulled Seth out of his bitter thoughts. For a brief moment, his eyes locked with the strange girl’s before she was distracted by the men reaching for her again. Seth didn’t understand. Where had she even come from? What sort of lunatic jumped to the aid of two strangers being hauled away by the Eighth Guard?

“Why am I– ojkza!” She stumbled backwards to avoid another grab, smashing into a stone shop wall. She hissed. “Get your ass–” Both men came at her. Her elbow met the first’s jaw. She threw her weight against him to avoid the other man, spinning to meet Seth’s eyes once more. Her tacky violet hair fell over her face. “Go!”

The boy’s fingers dug deeper into his thigh.

And Seth moved.

He grabbed the boy as he turned. He shouted in pain as Seth half carried, half dragged him down the street as fast as his legs could move. Faster. He had to go faster.

The back streets of Xalder were quiet. With the light growing faint, everyone would already be in the palace square, watching the Year’s End ceremony… The ceremony that Seth was definitely late for. He gritted his teeth; he couldn’t even worry about the silent treatment he’d get from Asher,

The Guard had seen his face, seen his uniform, so now there was no more hiding. Only running. The boy had a chance. He was young. He was poor. He was nothing. A nothing could be overlooked. But Seth? The age that he was? The position he held? They’d not let a slip-up like Seth Osklin remain as he was.

Only once his throat burned from gasping in air did Seth stop. He looked around, certain they were clear for now, even if dread still hung-over Seth.

People said the Eighth Guard didn’t go on hunts anymore. The Abbey of the Seven Orders was reformed, had been for nearly two hundred years now, only sending their Guard out to preach or to pick up reported ‘problems’ across the Descodian countries. Perhaps the hunts weren’t what the had been centuries ago: they didn’t break down doors, strip babes bare searching for the spot of unnatural pigmentation of their skin, but hunt they did.

He looked down at the young boy, standing shaking and breathless before Seth. He was stiff, uneasy, but his hand still gripped the belt of Seth’s trousers, still was reassured by the presence of someone like Seth. It was his shorts that had done it – allowed to get too short on a growing lad, until the tiniest hint of a discoloured curl on his knee peeked out beneath the hemline. Most would overlook it, but the Eighth Guard’s eyes searched everywhere for Taints.

Seth rubbed at the spot behind his ear.

The boy looked at him like Seth was his last hope. He was wrong; there was no more hope for people like them.

“Go. Hide.”

It was all Seth could say. The child could only have been seven? Eight maybe? But Tainted children always seemed older – taught young how fragile their freedom was. Born into a world they had to fear. The boy paled, as if reality started to crumble around him, and then turned, running down a back street and disappearing.

The sky was turning pale, and Seth whispered a curse as he turned, hurrying back towards the city centre – even if every inch of him screamed to run as far as possible. He wasn’t a kid anymore: he couldn’t just run and hide. He could have sworn the sands of Friday were starting to fall around him, the timer on his freedom finally nearing its end, but he had a job to do today. The closer he got to the palace square, the more alive Xalder finally became. Garlands of flowers still hung across the streets between buildings – already dying after a mere day out in the desert sun. As Seth’s eyes drifted over them, his fingers brushed the pin on his collar: the image of an aster flower was stamped in gold, a symbol of his position as the Prince’s Hyron. And a symbol that had made him far too recognisable today.

He flattened down the dark olive shirt of his uniform, glad that the sand-marks on his pale trousers wouldn’t raise too much suspicion. Smiles and greetings from those he passed, far too polite for someone of his rank, only served to make him feel more exposed, but as he rounded one last corner into the packed square, he hoped he could just blend into the swarming crowd.

Along the sides of the square stood countless tables and stalls, the rich scent of food filling the air – all covered over for now, protected from the sand in the breeze and the heat of the day by cloths and sheets. Food was for later, after the sunset, when Xalder’s population would remain out in the square all night, waiting for the sun to rise on a new year. The square was surrounded by some of the tallest and most expensive buildings in the city: from windows of inns, shops, and houses, people leaned out to get a good view – waving flags and dropping flowers down onto the crowd below, shouting blessings back and forth. At the front of the square stood the towering stone palace walls, the grand orange stone of the palace a bright and extravagant contrast to the greys and whites of the city. Years End was a rare time in Xalder when faces were no longer all familiar. The country held little else for tourists or visitors to see, and thus this was the only time of year Seth walked through the crowd and didn’t seem like the most foreign face.

The crowd’s attention was focused on the platform in front of the palace walls and the people who stood atop it. Seth looked around, watching as people gestured in pray, muttered or chanted to themselves. There was no point in trying to get any closer. He’d missed the ceremony in its entirety. Heart sinking, Seth dared to shift his gaze to the youngest person on the platform.

Prince Asher may not have been Tainted, but he had an uncanny ability to always spot Seth, no matter how big the crowd. He stood rigid beside his parents – unflinching as the wax of his candle started to drip onto his hands – in the reds of the country’s patron: Saturday. His smile was one all the people knew well, but Seth knew it better, and the one Asher wore today was painfully forced. Tense, stiff, uncertain. Seth mouthed an apology that Asher must have caught, for his mask faltered slightly. The rich golden eyes of the royal bloodline were apparent even from Seth’s distance, as was the disappointment in them. It stung.

Queen Rosalie lifted her hands to silence the crowd, her expression soft and kind as always. “And so, we say goodbye to this year. In my position as head of the Xalderian dynasty, I offer you, our people, the richest food and drink to welcome the New Year. Be happy and together, and my family and I will take on the weight of your prayers tonight, so you may enjoy it to the full. Goodnight.”

The crowd erupted into cheers, and there followed more shouts of blessings and good will upon the royal family as they began to leave – Asher’s eyes lingered on Seth until the last minute, until his father ushered him away, and he shot one more smile to the people. He played the part well for them.

Scratching the spot behind his ear once more, Seth starting to move to the edge of the crowd once again.

“Hey, Tainted Boy.”

His body froze. The words a sharp jab. Eyes wide with fear, he turned, only to find a cold grey gaze staring back at him, the thin face framed by the awful violet hair.

“Wow, okay,” the girl scoffed. “First rule of hiding from the Eighth Guard? Don’t answer to that.”

Seth immediately scanned the people around them, checking for any sort of reaction or a glimpse of pale brown uniforms moving towards him. There were only celebrations to find. It seemed to be of no concern to the girl though, who was more focused on untangling a few strands of her hair.

“I’m not Tainted,” Seth hissed.

“Sure you’re not…” the girl nodded. She prodded Seth in the chest. “How many people do you think stand up against the Abbey and their pet guardsmen? The only people stupid enough to help stupid Tainted kids are stupid Tainted kids.”

Seth flinched. “Is that why you jumped in to help us?”

“Obviously. Well, that and there’s something really satisfying about punching someone who is convinced no one is gutsy enough to punch them.” She sighed wistfully, at ease, as if she hadn’t just admitted to being one of the most hunted humans in the world. It turned Seth’s stomach.

“Thank you for helping the boy, but I have somewhere to be.”

He turned, but each step he took was only followed by the girl, so he stopped again, frowning at her.

“You’re going to the palace, right?” she asked, smile bright. “The outfit gives it away.”

Seth stilled again. He looked over the girl, his stomach twisting at the thought of someone like her knowing even the slightest bit about him. Her clothes said plenty about her as it was: her the hooded cloak around her neck was tattered and filthy, and the shirt and trousers beneath bore strange markings and tears, almost like singes. Clothing and tanned skin alike was covered in dark smudges that Seth couldn’t even begin to guess at. Her complexion wasn’t dark enough to be from Xalder, and the walking boots she wore would never be worn in the flat, sandy streets, and the dead grey colour of her eyes was like nothing Seth had seen in any of the seven Descodian countries.

Her lips quirked upwards, and she stepped closer, slipping her arm through Seth’s. He flinched. “Let go.”

He tried to pull back, but her hold was a lot stronger than her bony limbs implied.

“I will. But I’m gonna walk you home first.”

There was a darkness shadowing her tone that made Seth’s feet move in tandem with hers as she began walking directly through the busy crowd, as opposed to finding a way around it. Her hold was tight. Grip firm. And Seth couldn’t ignore how strangely warm she was. No, not warm. Hot. Maybe she was overheating in her layers, unsuited to the desert sun, because her arm felt like it was radiating heat.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m only hear to clear my conscience so later, when I hear some stupid palace servant has been dragged off to a much-awaited life of pain and torture at the Abbey, I don’t feel guilty.”

Her voice was quieter now. She wore an easy expression, smiling as she spoke, appearing to anyone else that she was having a pleasant stroll with a friend perhaps. But her words chilled Seth to the bone. He fixed her with a dull stare.

“I didn’t do anything wrong.”

She raised an eyebrow at his words. It was true though. No matter how much Seth regretted it, he truly didn’t believe he’d done anything wrong in saving that boy. He wasn’t about to let this stranger, who’d done the same thing, tell him otherwise.

“I said you were stupid. I didn’t say you did anything wrong,” the girl said slowly. “The world would be a far better place if more people did what you did. And if more people did, more… ‘acceptable’ people, perhaps I wouldn’t need to be here, confirming that you do in fact know just what you did in putting yourself on their radar.”

Seth looked away, up to the towering palace walls as they grew closer. They were tall and thick, built from stone that had stood the tests of time for centuries. No one in history had ever managed to breach the walls of Xalder’s royal palace. It was no wonder Seth felt so safe behind those walls. No wonder that he’d forgotten he wore a uniform, not armour, and a respected pin, not a crown. A brief moment of madness, of a pathetic crushing moral compass, and he had found himself in the one place he’d promised everyone he’d never end up. On the top of the Eighth Guard’s wanted list.

No one managed to stay hidden for their entire nineteen years of life. The Abbey and their Guard didn’t let that happen. Someone left unnoticed for that long was what they feared the most.

Seth swore he could feel the fear wrapping itself around his throat, and as they reached the gates of the palace, the girl let go of him at last.

“They won’t get me here,” he said, sure of that much. Royalty and leading families were exempt from the Abbey’s reach, so long as they could prove the Taint was harmless and they kept it hidden from the world. Maybe Seth wasn’t royalty himself, but behind those walls, nothing could happen to him. Asher wouldn’t let it. It was the only reason his grandmother had signed away his custody before she died.

“It’ll be harder for them, but not impossible. I knew who you were thanks to that,” She motioned to the aster flower pin on his shirt. “but the Eighth Guard are trained to learn about their targets from just a glance. They’ll know who you are. They’ll know what protections you have. And they’ll already be working to break through them.”

At the gates, Captain Joran peered over at them curiously. This was wasting even more time.

“None of this sounds like a warning,” Seth muttered. “It’s just reiterating what I already know.”

The girl scoffed, shaking her head. “Yet you’re still walking that way, instead of running straight to Willsend?”

Willsend. The God’s Overflow. The place so abandoned by the Siblings, that the Abbey didn’t dare touch. It was the only place Tainted were completely safe from them. How many times had he heard the suggestion?

“We should move to Willsend, love. It’s safer for him.”

“Send him away. He’ll be out of their reach, and out of our hair.”

“Willsend could protect you, Seth. I’d go with you, if you asked. If it would let you sleep at night.”

The two of them held one another’s gazes. The girl seemed to be searching for something, and eventually, she smiled. “You’ll not listen, huh?”

Seth shook his head.

“Fair enough. I’ve done my part. Conscience officially cleared.” Turning on her heel, she wandered back towards the busy crowd, pausing and glancing back with a grin. “At least it’ll take them a while to find your mark. But only if stop scratching it.”

As she tapped behind her right ear, Seth’s blood ran cold. Slowly, he lowered his hand, not having even realised it had been there, scratching away again as if he could remove the sign of the Taint from his skin.

Unable to watch as she laughed, Seth turned quickly, hurrying towards the gate. Most people were leaving the palace, workers and guards who had the evening off, as per tradition. They called out in greeting to Seth, offering him thanks and pats on the back as they passed, though he knew he didn’t deserve it that much. Only the highest ranking men and women remained working during the Year’s End. Captain Joran stood with a knowing smile on his face, which only served to unnerve Seth further.

“His lordship looks hotter than Saturday’s flame, Seth. Better have a good excuse for missing the blessing. And I don’t think seeing a girl counts.” He laughed, smacking Seth on the back as he walked past. Seth could only force a smile.

The gates started to close behind him as the last few stragglers left the palace grounds, and Seth slipped in before they shut, moving swiftly through the fore-garden – the luscious and rich plantation the best possible show of prosperity in Xalder. The grand doors were still ajar, held open by the Headwoman, who tutted impatiently as Seth stepped inside. She locked the doors shut behind him: they’d been waiting.

The main hall of Xalder’s palace was sparse but the space engulfing. Polished deep oak floors shimmered in the candlelight from the three silver chandeliers, but the pale orange stone of the walls were left bare and undecorated aside from an odd wooden frame for rich green climbing plants. In the centre of the main hall, the floors bore a great circular pattern burnt into the wood. An emblem of the sun. Lynt and Verona, heads of staff, and hyrons to the Grand Duke and Queen respectively, were working together to lift the great trap door in the very centre of the emblem, grunting at the weight.

The royals themselves all turned to Seth as he approached. The expressions worn by the Queen and the Duke might have been amused, or maybe expectant, but Seth cared more for what the final royal present was feeling.

The way Asher averted his gaze was enough to tell Seth that the silent treatment had started.

“I’m surprised you got through the square so quickly, Seth,” Duke Jerome started. “You were right at the back when I spotted you.”

“People moved aside pretty quickly for me, Sire,” Seth explained, ignoring the eyerolls and tuts that cascaded around the room at the title. Seth had long stopped reacting to it, and they’d all long stopped trying to remind Seth he didn’t need to use formalities when it was just the six of them. Hyrons and those they served had a bond, they always said, and that bond apparently didn’t have room for bureaucracies.

Verona pulled her hair loose from its clip, only to carefully redo it again. “Seth’s about to pray on their behalf. I’m sure they would have carried him to sunset prayers if necessary.”

“Tone, Verona,” the Queen smiled. “They deserve their break.”

There was a mutter from Verona Seth didn’t quite hear, but it earned her a prod in the ribs from the Queen. Now the six had assembled, and the Headwoman took up position on a small stool she placed by the trap door – for she would be the only one on watch inside tonight – Duke Jerome offered the Queen his arm and they started the descend underground. Lynt and Verona followed, leaving Seth alone with Asher.

Looking over at him, Seth found himself victim to that stare again: a look somewhere between anger and hurt, but worse than either. He didn’t expect Asher to speak yet, not when the Headwoman or the others heading down might overhear, so he wasn’t surprised when Asher turned sharply and began to head down, leaving Seth to trail after him.

The stairs were large and winding, uneven in size, but at least smooth and easy on their thin sandals after hundreds of years of use. The odd candle sat in crevices in the walls, offering the bare minimum of light needed to make the descent into the maze of tunnels and caverns that lay under the oasis city of Xalder. It was deep, in the very lowest of these caverns, that the cities only water reserves lay. Those sacred pools had been the life source of Xalder’s desert people since Saturday had brought the country of fire to creation. The depths of the water was sealed off to all but the most noble and trusted few, but the caves systems that ran in the ground above them were the prayer caverns of Xalder: transformed into places of worship by the first settlers of the country. The first few doors they passed on their way down were bolted shut: passages that led into the shallower gathering caves that the general public used across all of the city. The second layer down was another door, this one open, for the small cavern the palace workers and guards were permitted to use. At the third layer, when the walls at last began to feel a little cooler, a touch damper, hinting at the water below, was a small hollow that held a handful of doors. Doors that Seth and his party came to a stop at.

Traditionally, only members of the royal bloodline were permitted to pray in here, but a few generations ago, the royals invited their hyrons to join them. Lynt said it was an attempt to show just how much trust and understanding there was between the royals and their ‘other halves’: the servants who acted as everything from a shoe-shiner to a best friend.

Hyrons or not, traditions still stood though, and here there was no communal prayer cavern, but smaller, contained hollows. The Queen and Duke moved towards the first door, Lynt and Verona to a second, and Asher to a third. Seth stayed put.

Lynt reminded everyone he would knock when their time was up, and they the four elders moved into their rooms. Asher and Seth stayed still, listening to the bolts sliding across each door, before their eyes met.

It was apparent Asher expected Seth to speak first.

“If you’re still mad, I can join Lynt and Verona,” Seth offered, though he knew it was an empty one – he just needed to get Asher talking.

It worked. Asher’s frown deepened from one of upset to irritation. He scoffed. “Cut it out.”

He turned, heading inside the prayer room, and Seth followed without further question. Asher shut and locked the door behind them.

The cavern was a small one, meant for private prayer, and the only light in the room was the single candle sitting in the niche at the far wall. Beneath if stood a stone altar, the seven markings – one for each Sibling – etched into the surface. On each marking sat a bowl of the corresponding element, and before the entire setup lay a hand-woven straw mat: thin ribbons of gold and red weaving through the pale yellow, as symbolic of the Xalderian royal bloodline.

Before Seth could move to the mat, Asher grabbed his shirt, stopping him.

“You missed the blessing.”

Asher’s voice betrayed him: the pain clear.

“I did,” Seth said. “I’m sorry.”

“You know I wanted you to bless me.” Asher took the golden circlet off his brow and tossed it over the door handle. The sound of metal scraping together as it swung made Seth cringe.

It was traditional for the King or Queen to bless their children until they took the throne, but Seth knew Asher had wanted to lead the change in that: to give more public duties to hyrons. In a way, he was touched by the notion that Asher trusted him that much, but he knew there were other reasons. Ones that weren’t quite as noble. Still, no matter what Seth thought of that, the fact remained he’d hurt Asher.

“I know,” Seth said finally, lowering his gaze. “I let you down. I’m sorry, Asher.”

With a heavy sigh, Asher’s expression softened a little. Being out of the moment and shut away from ever-watching eyes always eased Asher anyway. He huffed once more, shooting Seth one less accusatory glance. “Mum got the ash in my eyes.”

Seth fought back a laugh. “How?”

“She dumped a massive handful on me. Look, it’s probably still in my hair.” Asher stepped forward, bowing his head, and sure enough, amongst the golden hair was a good amount of pale grey ash. Laughing now, Seth tried to brush the worst of it away.

“Next Year’s End, I’ll be sure to be more careful.”

The words did enough by way of smoothing any remaining tension away, and Asher smiled, his focus shifting to the task it should have been on.

The two of them knelt on the mat. Seth waited as Asher took some of the dust from the bowl of Tuesday, sprinkling it over his head before pressing his hands together and falling silent in prayer. Whilst in public blessings like the Year’s End one, Asher had to use Saturday’s ash – since Saturday was the patron of both Xalder and its royal house – in the privacy of the caverns, Asher was able to reach for the Sibling whose name he was actually born under like everyone else.

As for Seth, he reached for the seventh bowl. He took a pinch of Sunday’s chalk and let it fall over his head before he too fell into prayer.

He ran through the usual songs in his head: the Call of the Siblings, Sunday’s Laws, Xalder’s Prayer, until he finally moved onto his private thoughts. In the place where he usually gave thanks for Asher’s friendship, the royals’ kindness, and wishes for his grandparents’ and father’s peaceful rest, Seth found himself begging. Begging that he wouldn’t have to fear the Eighth Guard. Begging that the burning behind his ear would stop.

As always, not for a second did he feel like anyone was listening.

When he at last opened his eyes, hands slumping into his lap. The last pleas drifted from his thoughts, unanswered and probably unheard, and Seth became aware that Asher was looking at him. When he watched him like that, Asher’s golden eyes felt even more unnatural: like they might spy Seth’s innermost thoughts if Seth wasn’t careful. He pushed himself to his feet.

“Sorry, Asher. You should have just said something if you were done. Has Lynt already knocked?”

“Yeah, but you looked like you were praying really hard.”

“Well… we are supposed to be praying on behalf of the whole country. It makes sense to.”

Asher hummed noncommittally, eyes turning to stare at the altar. “You never did explain why you weren’t at the blessing. You looked pale when I saw you…” He looked back up at Seth. “You still do. Like you saw a ghost.”

Not so much a ghost as an omen, Seth decided. His fingers dipped lightly into Sunday’s chalk, rubbing the white specks between his fingers. Even this didn’t feel like it connected him to the Sibling whose name he carried.

Whose Taint he carried.

Word would get around. If the girl with violet hair was right, they’d reach the palace before long. It would upset Asher, any mention of the Abbey and Taints did, but he deserved to have the warning that the Guard would come breaking down the palace gates.

So, Seth was honest.

“The Eighth Guard are in the city. And they know I’m Tainted.”

The Last Taint is my baby you’ve no idea. This is the work I’m thinking of asking around for some betas for, so I’m leaving this here for people to get a taste! Spoiler alert: This world is everything to me, and as much as I love the lesser men series for their dragons, the kin verse holds a very very special place in my heart, and it’s so in detail, I can literally tell you events than happened in specific years. 

Again, if you want to be tagged, please hit me up! And if you think you would be interested in beta-ing this, please let me know, and I’ll tag you in my beta search post! ^^ 

[red-diamond-lipglass]

🌷 10, 12, 19, 21, 27, 32, 39

Hey sweetheart!~ 💗💗💗 How are you? ☺️

10- holy grail product? Oooo, this is a hard one, but I’d have to say the bareminerals complexion rescue tinted moisturizer is my holy grail makeup product. In the ask I sent you, you mentioned you like this one too! Even though It’s marketed as a tinted moisturizer I find that it has really good sheer to medium coverage, and can be built up nicely without looking cakey. And I love the dewy finish. It has a lot of skin nourishing ingredients as well like squalene, glycerin and sodium hyaluronate so I find that I can wear it everyday without my skin getting irritated like it does with other foundations.

My holy grail skin care product is definitely The Ordinary’s AHA 30% + BHA 2% peeling solution. Oh my gosh this stuff is incredible!!! It’s basically a really intense exfoliating mask, and after I use it my skin feels smooth as a baby’s bottom for days afterwards lol. It gets rid of blackheads/closed comedones too and it’s one of the few products that has really reduced my hyper pigmentation. However, despite how excellent this mask is, be warned it is not for the faint of heart! It burns like a mofo when you first put it on, and I can imagine it would be far too aggravating for really sensitive skin types. I think people with sensitive skin would like The Ordinary Lactic Acid 10% a lot better. It’s a leave on exfoliating serum, and it’s much gentler than the peeling solution.  

12- favorite beauty youtuber?

We actually like a lot of the same youtubers! But I’ll link to their channels anyway lol.

I love Lisa Eldridge (like you said, iconic), Karima mckimmie  (very pretty glam looks), Pony (beautiful, blushy complexion makeup), Dasha Kim (also very pretty complexion makeup), Rosh (super glam), Diana (gorgeous eyeshadow looks), Sonjdra (very glam, and I love her personality), Lucy (incredibly talented drag artist) and Gothamista (very informative skincare enthusiast).  

19- least favorite brand? Hmmm, I don’t have a least favorite makeup brand, but my least favorite skincare brand is Neutrogena for sure. Neutrogena literally wreaked havoc on my skin. Their products are so drying and irritating, I just CAN’T understand how people still use that crap. And the excessive amount of fragrance in their products is just ridiculous. Honestly, I think i’m gonna start a campaign to ban the use of added fragrance in all skin care lmao.  

21- what’s your own secret to successful looking makeup?I’d say exfoliation and hydration are key! Complexion makeup will always look cakey and textured on top of dry, unexfoliated skin. I lightly exfoliate everyday with The Ordinary glycolic acid toning solution, and I always prep my skin with jojoba oil and squalane before I put on my makeup. Also when going for a full coverage look, it will look a lot more flattering to slowly build up the coverage in thin layers than to spackle on a bunch of foundation all in one go. A lot of folks probably have half of their foundation bottle trapped in their beauty blender ‘cause they use too much product! And then I’d say finding colors that suit your undertone is pretty important. Of course people should wear whatever colors they want, but I feel I always look my best when I wear colors that flatter my warm yellow undertones like peach, gold, orange and terra-cotta.

27- favorite foundation?My holy grail product; the bareminerals complexion rescue tinted moisturizer, is my favorite foundation of all time. There are others that I enjoy, like The Ordinary coverage foundation and the L’Oreal pro glow (which I don’t think I’ll repurchase for ethical reasons) but the color match isn’t quite right for those two. I’m very fair but I have strong golden/yellow undertones and most pale foundations are too cool/beige for me. I’m dying to try out the new bareminerals performance wear! 

32- favorite concealer? 

Unfortunately I don’t have one, but I’d love some recommendations! 😉

39- makeup inspiration?

Wow, so many people and so many things. When it comes to my personal, everyday makeup I’m really inspired by Korean style makeup, and artist like Pony. I think it’s such a fresh and flattering approach to beauty. And artist like Pat McGrath, Kevyn Aucoin, Timothy Hung, Serge Lutens, Way Bandy, Inés Aaliyah (bedpartymakeover), and Lucy Garland always astound me with their talent and artistry.    

Thank you so much for the questions! It was a lot of fun answering~💕💞💘

[book-o-scams]

What do you think of the Kanker's presence in Jingle Jingle Jangle? How is it different from their other appearances?

OKAY I FINALLY DID IT!  Step right up and see analysis of the Kankers’ parts of Jingle Jingle Jangle!  Only 3 or 4 weeks late!

First of all, in case I never analyze this special in full, I want to call out that this whole way of connecting the Eds’ A Plot to the Kankers’ B Plot is complete nonsense.... randomly discarded and forgotten flashlight + conveniently placed mirror = reflection of light pointed at the sky = Star of Bethlehem that uses Godlight to deliver sexual harassment to the main characters???  It is a purely visual idea, and what’s worse it seemingly has no meaning....  is it punishment for wasting a battery??  Then what was the point of the special’s other Chekhov’s lightbulb!?

Was that just a spiritual redemption, but not an escape from his punishment?  

Is it punishment for breaking his parents’ trust?  

Is it just to say the Kankers’ lives are sadder and this universe’s god prioritizes them above the Eds or anyone else?

Or is the Snow itself an entity, like the Static?  Both are terms to refer to television fuzz….  

Is Evil Tim in control of the holidays, with all the magical Santas and Elves and Monsters that get to appear in these episodes???  

The Snow is even the first thing to appear, in detailed close-up for one time, before the rest of the universe fades into existence, ushering Plank (and Jonny) into the digital era before the Eds OR the Kankers get to appear at all, and scenes where the snow is coming down are markedly more abstract and focused on the characters being quiet and internalizing their emotions.  

Is supernature itself overwhelming the characters at will and leading them to cruel fates!?  

Is the supersnow meant as a warning of the literal and figurative after-effects bound to invade any show switching to digital!?  

SOMEBODY STOP ME!

The snow even just fades out when Eddy’s light starts glowing.

I’m sorry to begin with a whole silly rant. It’s just that Christmas specials are normally the one episode of any show that can be counted on to let the main characters have a win.  The show was set to end with its stagnant nihilistic 4th season, so it was a miracle to get the holiday specials or digital era at all...  So this Kanker ending stung more than usual.

That said, this special has won me over as an adult!  The series’ first foray into digital animation looks really gorgeous and it’s such a visually driven special, you can’t look away.   The animation is unfortunately a little better than the digital era could make consistent, but it’s close enough to feel like the same show as everything that came before and after it.  Definitely some of the most experimental style choices the show ever made. I’m always so glad the backgrounds are still hand-painted throughout Jingle Jingle Jangle.

I’m fascinated by the way this star is clearly a digital effect, but at the same time it avoids being too high quality for EEnE by mostly looking like a dry brush (like when they do those paint-blurs when the characters move fast), and animating the star as white outlines with no color inside when they could easily do a real light effect is an interesting choice.  It captures the eery prettiness the star’s role demands without betraying the show’s sketchiness.

I really like the music direction this whole special, but this opening to the Kankers’ Christmas is one of my favorite parts.  It is about a minute long and starts 2 and a half minutes into the special.

As we start hearing dialogue from Lee, the camera whips down to the trailer park and the Kankers’ theme music drums in.  This is the one time the show really made me aware the Kankers have a theme so now I always keep an ear out for that music cue.  I know it fills most of their appearances in Big Picture Show.

Inside, the Kankers sit and squabble as always, playing with a box of Krazy Krackers.  Apparently Christmas Crackers are a more popular thing in the UK (the show had a lot of UK influence around this time, with Rachel Connor joining as head writer in the next season), but I think it’s been confirmed to be a Canadian thing too now.

Room analysis!   The Kankers seem to have to make do when it comes to decorations… They have lights on the staircase and around the windows, and a cute wreathe with a red light on top of their TV, but their tree is a lone stick that has 7 branches if it’s lucky, it’s plugged into the wall yet the one light on it isn’t working, and most of the ornaments seem to be recyclables, barbed wire, or orbs that have fallen from the tree.  Oven mitts have been hung from the wall in place of stockings and rather than garland, they’ve trimmed their living room with chains, fishing lures and… are those shower curtain lines?

This is probably the most the show really gets across how big of an economic difference there is between the cul-de-sac and the trailer park.  The kids, even Ed and Eddy (unfortunately we see little of Edd’s family’s Christmas traditions), seem to have very gaudy and extravagant decorations, most of them appear to be expecting family or coworker Christmas parties later in the evening.  The Kankers’ trailer is sparse by comparison.

Marie being the least cheery at Christmas is probably the most punk thing about her..

Focusing Kanker scenes on May is pretty typical of this point in the series, but I like how infallibly nice May is in this one.  Marie tries to blow the Christmas cracker up in May’s face, and yet May barely reacts to the threat level here as anything out of the ordinary.  Then again, this scene likely exaggerates how much these things are like firecrackers.

May calls the cracker a dud, so of course Lee razzes her, “just like you, huh, May?”  This moment has a good undertone of Lee trying to readjust Marie’s negativity to more of a light ribbing, to fit the season.

REALLY COOL DIGITAL DRYBRUSH EXPLOSION EFFECTS…

What’s the deal with this eyepatch on Marie though?  Is this just a “under the bangs” teaser gag like the one frame three-eyed Lee in BPS?  The artists don’t try nearly as hard to hide Marie’s full face as they do Lee’s….  Is it just an unexplained one-episode injury like Jimmy’s?  

so glad even the digital X-mas special gets inverted frames, one of the most interesting visual features of the series’ early episodes

Good honest reactions of concern for May from Marie and Lee..

WHAT IS THIS A HALLOWEEN SPECIAL!?

“Look, Lee, May got a makeover~!”

….how desensitized have they become to slapstick!?  Sarah and Jimmy react to a similar gag with Eddy casually decapitating Ed next season with utter horror and confusion!

Apparently the most important thing here is that Marie wasn’t left out of getting a crown.

5 fingers on her right hand for one pose…

Note that the Kankers have replaced their wall unit’s knick knacks with Christmas cards from their invisible friends and family! 

 “Joy”

 “HAVE A XMAS” 

“From Your Father” (please appreciate this rare acknowledgement of the likelihood of a preferred Kanker dad)

“Ho Ho Ho” 

“Happy Kwanza” (also the one acknowledgment of other winter holidays in this Christmas special and I don’t think it’s even spelled correctly… I thought for sure at least JIMMY would celebrate Hanukkah or something…)

“[doodle of a candy cane]”

“DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE?” 

one of this special’s many references to classic holiday staples, in this case the song, ‘Do You Hear What I Hear?’  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_You_Hear_What_I_Hear%3F

“Something twinkling in the sky!”

This opening scene to their plot starts the Kankers off as unusually innocent and naive, seemingly motivated only by an attraction to light, like moths.  Lee even has to ask “where is it?” to which Marie correctly points out that May already said the star was in the sky.

To be fair, Lee’s hair was blocking her eye, and we finally get to see her eye for the first time since season 1!

I LOVE this little detail of Lee twirling her foot before skipping out of frame.

Marie rises, embarrassed to have been choked and dropped so carelessly.

She tries to save face by telling May to come on.

May’s Christmas cheer will not be defeated!  

She teases Marie by giving Marie the same “come on” command.

Iconic!!  Doesn’t this shot kinda make you think of the night scenes in Disney’s Aladdin?

10 minutes later, we get another minute of Kanker B-plot.  I don’t think any other episode ever gets this close to the super-geometric outline-eradicating Samurai-Jack-esque style Rod Filbrandt uses in concept art for his backgrounds..

Such background porn…  I’m really unsettled by the weird abandoned signs of life this God Light takes the Kankers to…  It’s like a trail of death leading to the Eds’ bad ending and the Kankers are too desensitized to pick up on that.

Lee gives her sisters a quick glance as they approach.

Lee and May unintentionally shut Marie out and she steps around.

Also, I’ll give them points for the “gold, frankincense and myrrh” = “mold, franks and cents, and fur” rhyme gag, but only because I wasn’t aware of that part of the nativity scene until this special aired.  I was 13 when this came out, which means I’d already done like 8 grades of Catholic school, how did they fail to make any impression on me!?   But honestly, that’s a weird punchline to try and use as a button on this bit.  And as much as I love the art in that montage, it seems like it would’ve worked even better as a mood-setting detail if they found each gift separately between each house Eddy visited.

“What the heck is it?“  Pretty sure her mouth colors are mismatched.

“It’s a sign, stupid.“   Touching.

I love when they all look up in unison.

They look more confused as they walk away.

I’m really interested in how extra moody Marie seems in this montage.  I also noticed that their frostbitten walk through the snow seems to be slightly foreshadowing of the walk Eddy goes on in the climax.  

This is a really iconic shot and camera direction for me too, and it’s the one appearance of the junkyard at night in the whole show (as a setting, there’s at least one episode that shows it from overhead at night).  It’s also one of like 3 uses of the junkyard as a setting in the digital era.  And here you can barely even recognize it under the snow.  Still looks great, though!

They are SO introspective over this star… what are they contemplating?  Should we retroactively assume they’re regretting their situations with the Eds post-Fistful, or accept that this special wasn’t made in chronological order and think of something less specific, like family troubles or… just not thinking anything particular at all???  

Lee and May stare dumbfounded at their lost-in-thought sister.

Very cute Maries.

Love that unoutlined background pipe.

This glow effect seems.. broken.

“weiners and pennies!?“

Wait…  …Are you kidding me?  I just noticed that May and Marie are each wearing one half of the same pair of gloves and the same pair of mittens….

Oooh look at this goregous postcard-ready background of the construction site!  The construction site only has one other night scene I can think of that isn’t just an overhead shot, and it’s only one shot of Ed running there to grab a cement mixer during his fight with Nazz in Boo Haw Haw.

I really love how these gradient-silhouettes with blobby purple outlines look.  Their progression through the show’s locations reminds me of the EEnE video games (mainly Jawbreakers! for the GBA because that was the only game they had at this time)…  I think they also used this silhouette style for the kids on the Scam of the Century DS game cover.

i love EEnE vehiclessssss

I love wondering whose coat this is and why it’s been left here…  Also, do the rust and torn seat imply this construction site is officially abandoned? Or is this one of only a few vehicles that got left behind right before Christmas break and is now being ravaged by the elements?

This frame always makes me yearn for a future where Lee is a construction worker. Or demolition!!!

“It’s a coat.  Come on, we’re getting close.“  Oh sure fine, makes sense to me.

We then cut one street over to Eddy in Plot A, where it isn’t snowing, reinforcing the idea that the Kanker’s story is not chronologically synced up to Eddy’s story.

Anyway, another 10 minutes later, we get a final Kanker scene!

The Snow is strong enough to smack Eddy with a door (UNINTENTIONAL BRO FORESHADOWING?).  Eddy is also not very good at boarding a door, apparently.

On a scale of 1-10, how blasphemous is this shot?

The Snow encroaches upon the Eds

“Could it be!?  Three kings who have traveled afar!?“

How serious is that question, Edd.... why would there be three real-ass monarchs in Rolf’s shed in the middle of an American blizzard???

I feel real weird about Edd being so religious in this episode, it’s too soon after season 4 made such a point of Edd not believing in things that cannot be proven…  

I like that the special is religious.  As agnostic as Catholic school made me, Christmas specials that get sentimental about the Christian traditions get the most nostalgia out of me.  But this special and series clearly revels in sin and hopelessness, so I found it kind of jarring how much of this special lets the Bible references be played straight.  Making Edd super religious just so he can continue to be fanserviced as an angel felt a little cheap, and I feel like it creates an undertone that Eddy is being punished for not being as religious as the others around him.

But take my complaints there with a grain of salt, it’s impossible to understand X-mas Special Logic, where it’s not quite Christianity, just some sort of TV-safe offshoot with elves and magic and a generally more fantastical mythology.

Hey the silhouettes are back!

I already spoiled this joke...

I do really like this shot…  Nice to see Rolf’s animals get a Christmas cameo.

I do entertain the idea that the Kankers really think these gifts will warm the Eds’ hearts and earn their admiration.  But we all know this will be a short lived moment.

“This image certainly has the Christmas spirit…“

And now that there’s been a beat of peace, the Kankers reveal their true intention of pressuring the Eds into gifting them some kisses.  The way they trap them in the shed and suggest it’ll last a whole year is really one of the creepiest approaches to a Kanker ending in the whole show.  Obviously it’s not likely it would really last that long, and imo if it’s just kisses it’s not really new or surprising... but it’s still a pretty damn meanspirited ending for a beautifully-crafted holiday special that very easily could have been scrapped by the show’s season 4 cancellation. 

I do love the fur coat being draped over the cow’s face, though.

And it is honestly important to know the Eds can still do well drawn group scream takes in digital.

May and Ed scaring the animals is a nice touch, but I hate how we hear May going “oink” during this walla.

“WAIT”

“I’M AN ANGEL”

“STOP!!!!”

kiiiinda scary

I hate Eddy almost getting away but kinda love this rare separation of his eyes.

At this point my brain dies and I just go “aw the kids are so cute this is the only thing going on look how cute jonny is and kevin is being so nice and rolf is such a killyjoy i love this i love their group what a great xmas special nothing went wrong everyone is singing”

hope you had a good Kanker appreciation month!

*cries*

[deadlydollies13]

The Potion Master’s Grace Ch. 9

It was midnight of July 8th. Severus watched the clock as the hour hand hit the twelve. He couldn’t fall asleep, not until he wished her a happy birthday. He gently knocked on Grace’s bedroom and opened the door slightly. All he could see was her messy red hair splayed out over her pillow and the tiny black fluff ball that was her cat next to her. He walked in quietly and whispered, “Grace, are you up?”    He heard Grace groan and roll over to turn on her lamp, “Well, I am now.” Her fiery curls went every which way as she sat up. She barely had her eyes open, but he could tell she wasn’t too happy about being woken up.    “Sorry,” Severus had to hold back from laughing at the girl. She did look rather ridiculous. But he was unarmed and was afraid that if he annoyed her anymore, she’d grab her wand and turn him into stone. He sat on the edge of her bed, “I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday.”    Grace looked up at him, her eyes bloodshot from being asleep, and then glanced at the clock on her phone. “Heyyy, it’s my birthday! Aw, thanks, Severus!”    “Well, I know the past week has been pretty tough for you and-“ he was interrupted by the girl pulling him in for a hug.    “Severus you’re really too sweet. Thank you so much,” her voice was low and a bit slurred from sleep. She really had a hard time keeping herself awake, barely enough so that her brain could comprehend what was going on. But when she found comfort once again being held by Severus, she immediately started to drift off to sleep.    Severus felt Grace slowly slipping back into the dream world, “Okay Grace, go back to sleep.” He laid her back down, she mumbled something inaudible. He just rolled his eyes and tucked her back in, glad no one would ever learn that Severus Snape was being domesticated by a teenage girl and losing his sharp, bitter touch, “I’ll see you in a few hours, Grace.”    He made his way to the door,  just as he was about to leave, he caught Grace saying, “Night, dad.” He was stopped completely in his tracks. Perhaps he had heard her wrong, or the domestic bliss was just getting to his head and making him hear things. Still, just hearing her say it made his heart melt. “Goodnight, Gracie,” he whispered back, but she had already gone back to sleep.

- 

   Grace woke up the next morning, but when she opened her eyes, she saw darkness. Well, not complete darkness, more like something was covering her eyes, like a sticky note. She groaned, feeling too tired for silly games, and reached up to snatch the note from her forehead.    The note read, in Luna’s swirly cursive, Happy Birthday, Best Friend!    Grace’s mood was instantly uplifted. This would be the first of Grace’s birthdays that Luna actually got to spend with her. Years before, the Nobles’ had dragged Grace off for summer vacation, not so much as to celebrate Grace’s birthday, but so they could go off and drink and travel. Half of the time, their vacations were actually business trips for Mr. Noble.    Grace looked around her room, where there were tiny objects hung and spread across the ceiling, reflecting the morning sun. When she reached for her glasses, she found another note. Putting them on, she saw that Luna had filled her room with crystals. Crystal garlands, crystal mobiles, crystals everywhere; just like Ravenclaw Tower.    A little home away from home. Or is it, a little home away from home at your home?    Cas was pawing at a dangling crystal and trying to play with it. Grace, afraid he’d break it or make a mess, let him down from the bed. She just didn’t realize the little fur ball sneak out of her room and probably make his way downstairs. She never really told Severus about her cat, but she had a feeling he knew about him. Plus, Luna was downstairs and she’d act as a buffer to make sure Severus didn’t kill Cas.    Grace quickly got dressed, straightened her hair, and did her makeup. Thirty minutes, a new record since she usually took forty-five minutes in her lethargic state that was usually early school mornings at Hogwarts. She made her way day downstairs and she was hit with a strong smell of fruits and… chocolate! She practically tripped over herself running to the kitchen.    “Happy birthday, Gracie!” she was met by Luna pouncing at her, wrapping her arms around her and doing a “happy dance.”    “Ah! Yay, happy birthday to me!” Grace hugged back. It really had been amazing to not have to spend her birthday virtually alone; to have her best friend with her in person instead of texting or calling of Facetiming. And as a big bonus, now she had Severus to spend it with as well, who was now sitting at the table with The Daily Prophet, feeding Cas tiny pieces of banana. Well, thank Merlin he’s not annoyed by the cat.    Luna got her attention back, “So, how’s it feel to be fifteen?” She now had Grace’s Polaroid —must have taken it from her room when she put the crystals in— and was taking candids of Grace.    “Ummm… Well, y’know, I think I feel a wrinkle coming on,” she said jokingly.    Severus snorted, “Oh, don’t even start, Grace.”    As Grace sat down, he put the paper down. Finally realizing that her red curls were flattened down and hung as low as her waist, and her makeup was done, and she looked significantly older. Severus didn’t know why this scared him so much, but it did. He didn’t realize how much a kid could grow up literally overnight, “When did you go from fourteen to nineteen?”    Grace, now used to Severus’ dry sense of humor and knew how to take his words, just laughed. Luna sat across from her and levitated their plates over—which was crepes with Nutella and strawberry and bananas— along with what seemingly looked like orange juice, but once Grace took a sip, realized Luna had spiked it with champagne, “Luna!”    “What? Professor said it was okay!”    “You’re fifteen, and it’s not as if you can get drunk on just one drink. Unless you’re a complete lightweight, and that’s just pitiful,” Severus added with a smirk.    “Oh! Do you know what he did?” Grace said to Luna. “Twelve am this morning, I’m woken up by him!”    Luna gave Severus a strange look, “For what?”    “To be the first to say happy birthday, which was very sweet. But still! When’s your birthday, Severus? January 9th? Oh yeah, just you wait. I’m getting a bugle horn and everything!”

-

   Halfway through breakfast, Grace’s phone began to ‘ding’ like crazy. She groaned, “Birthday texts.”    She began to open them, replying to a few from those who meant the most to her, not just the ones who talked to her on her birthday or when they needed something. But one text, one with no name, especially caught her attention.    Happy Birthday, Fireball.    “Fireball” was what Grace was known as on the Quidditch pitch, for her fiery red hair and because of how fast she was. But who would call her that in a mysterious text?    Who is this?    She eagerly awaited a reply, her curiosity piqued. Her leg shaking under the table, trying to think of who the mystery person was. Finally, her phone dinged again.    It’s Draco. Surprised you didn’t already have my number when I have yours, little red.    Grace felt like she had been hit with a bludger; she almost dropped her phone, almost screamed, almost fell out of her seat. Instead, she just gasped, “Oh shit!”    Both Luna and Severus went, “What’s wrong?” in a panicked tone.    Grace’s eyes shot up to Luna’s, “Did you give Draco Malfoy my number?!” Now, Grace sounded panicked.    “Uh, yes?”    “Why?”    “Because he asked me!”    “When did he ask you? Why did he ask you?”    “He asked me on the last day of school before we went to the platform!”    “But we hate each other! We butt heads all the time!”    “But you like him, Grace! Look at yourself, your face is all flushed, your pupils are practically dilated from just the sound of his name. And now you have his number, so there’s no excuse not to text him and get to know the real Draco. And, who knows, if he cared enough to say ‘Happy Birthday,’ maybe he actually-“    “Don’t say it, Luna Lovegood!”    “-likes you back,” Luna crossed her arms with a smug look on her face as Grace slouched down in her chair in defeat. She tried to mumble out a final, “I don’t fancy Draco stupid Malfoy,” but it was no use.    Severus really had a hard time not breaking into a fit of laughter, for Grace’s sake. She was already embarrassed enough. Actually, he felt kind of sorry for her, being ousted like that. So, he decided to help her get back at her friend, “Maybe you should follow your own advice, Miss Lovegood, and finally ask out Mr. Scamander?”    Now Luna was the one with the flushed face, “How’d you know?”    “Everyone knows. Just like everyone got the sense that Grace had feelings for Malfoy. And now both of those theories are proven.”    Luna groaned and slouched in her seat, mirroring Grace. Severus smirked, “You girls are ridiculous.”    Both said at the same time, “Oh, shut up.”

-

   After breakfast, Severus used Grace and Luna’s nonstop chattering as a chance to slip into his office to grab Grace’s adoption forms. He didn’t know how to present them to her, or how she’d even react. But, she kept making future plans as if she was going to be around for a long time, so surely that meant that she wanted to stay, right? From the other room, he could hear the girls’ laughter, and he realized that Grace had always been a part of his life ever since coming to Hogwarts. He remembered the first time he had met the tiny Ravenclaw.

-

   The new first years shuffled into the Great Hall in a jumbled line. Their wide eyes scanned every inch of the room in awe. Some knew what to expect, these were Purebloods or Half-bloods that had done their research on Hogwarts or had family and siblings who had come before them. The Muggle-borns were easy to pick out of the crowd; they were the ones who looked like deer in headlights, unable to believe what they were seeing.    Severus, bored of seeing the same routine thing over and over again, made a game of it all. He’d try to determine each child’s house before the Sorting Hat made its choice. Most of the time, just by looking at them, he was right. He was especially good at picking out future snakes.    “Hey, look, it’s ‘Loony’ Lovegood!” Severus’ eyes followed the voice to, of course, a second year Draco Malfoy. Young, but still a tosser. His friends found what he said funny, but he knew all the better what the Lovegood child had been through, and though he would never, ever show it or admit to it, he felt awfully bad for her and her father.    But, Luna didn’t seem to mind at all. The platinum blonde was being distracted by a very tiny redheaded girl. Was this girl actually eleven? She was as tall as Professor Flitwick, well, maybe a bit taller. But her red hair fell down to her waist which exaggerated her tiny physique even more. She reminded him ever so much of a certain childhood friend of his that he cared deeply for, but lost.    The redhead was going a mile-a-minute asking the Lovegood girl questions, and she happily answered all of them. Then, their attention was brought to the head table, where she asked who each person was. When the redhead’s eyes landed on Severus, their eyes met. Luna looked somewhat terrified, but the redhead smiled brightly and waved really quickly before McGonagall started calling names. Severus smiled slightly and gave a curt nod to the girl so to not be noticed by anyone else. Hufflepuff, maybe? Or who knows, maybe Slytherin?    McGonagall called, “Lovegood, Luna,” and the blonde made her way to the stool and the Sorting Hat was plopped on her head. The Hat didn’t take long to finally say, “Ravenclaw!” It was the same house her father and mother had been in, and perhaps it would be good for the child after what she went through. The Ravenclaw table clapped and cheered, but she stopped before going to her seat. Instead, she stood nearby the stool and waited as the redhead girl was called up, “McClivert, Grace!”    The tiniest First year Severus had ever seen, not just in height, but she was awfully skinny as well, a skinny that meant she hadn’t been fed properly. She slowly made her way up to the stool, and even had to give herself a tiny jump-boost to sit.    The Sorting Hat was placed on her head, flattening down her red curls, “Hmmm…You’d do very well in Slytherin. But you’re thinking very fast… Tricky…”    “Don’t put me in Slytherin! Put me in Ravenclaw! I’m smart and value learning and knowledge more than anything else,” Severus was in shock, not only because of such a thick Irish accent coming from such a tiny girl but because he never heard someone argue for Ravenclaw.    She continued to argue with the Hat, using words Severus didn’t think was in an eleven-year old’s vocabulary. Maybe she did belong in Ravenclaw on account of her brains and wit, but the Hat wasn’t wrong, she was being awfully Slytherin-like.    Finally, the Hat said, “Ravenclaw!” and the girl beamed and ran to Luna, taking her hand and walking to the Ravenclaw table together. Though, Severus had to admit he was almost a little disappointed.

   In Potion’s class the next day, Grace had dragged Luna all the way up to the front of the class to sit front-and-center. Severus began with his usual speech he said every year to the new students, just to intimidate them enough so that they wouldn’t act like the dunderheads they were, but it ultimately left no lasting effect. While all of the other students looked scared, Grace was gazing around the room, interested in anything else but whatever Severus was saying.    “Miss McClivert!” Grace’s head snapped toward him, her curls whipping in front of her face.    “Yes, sir?”    “What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?” Sure, Severus knew it was almost impossible for her, a Muggle-born, to know the answer. But after her row with the Sorting Hat the previous day, he wanted to test her knowledge to see if she could at least walk through it.    For a moment, her eyes were wide and just stared at him, but not in fear, not in shock. No, her eyes weren’t even looking at him, they were looking at the board behind him. He glanced over his shoulder, but there was nothing written. But she saw something because her eyes were flicking back and forth as if she were reading. Finally, it was like a lightbulb went off and she threw open her textbook and began flipping through the pages. She scribbled what looked like nonsense on a piece of parchment, but with a pen, totally disregarding the quill, because that would take too long. She was flipping through the textbook pages so quickly, he was surprised she didn’t get a paper cut or tear the page. Severus didn’t know how long it took her, but it was incredibly fast. She held up her paper and flipped it around so Severus could see what she wrote; it was math. She had turned his question into a chemical equation, with properties he didn’t know the two ingredients had. She made something that was supposed to be abstractly learned and memorized into that of which was logical and could be proven using experimental evidence. “Draught of Living Death, sir,” she was so confident in her answer, as she should be.    The other students just stared at her in shock, even Luna looked thoroughly surprised. Severus had a baffled look on his face as well. Slowly, Grace’s confidence began to fade, “It’s… just like chemistry. Right, sir?” He could hear a few students whisper, What’s chemistry?    “Miss McClivert, go up to the board and redo the problem and explain why you did each step,” frankly, Severus was rather intrigued by her method. Should there be a simpler way to understand Potions— to teach it— he wanted to know.    The Ravenclaw made her way up to the board, and standing on her tip-toes, wrote and explained every step. There were even some students who took notes, others just looked at her like she was crazy. But she so eloquently broke apart the potions recipe, and then another, and another, Severus just called out random potions that came to mind, and she managed to figure them all out just by flipping through her textbook pages and her Muggle methods.    Later that day, Severus ran into a few of Grace’s professors and Dumbledore. “So, how was everybody’s first day with the First years?” Dumbledore asked with a twinkle in his eye.    They all replied that things went smoothly, no one had died or got injured at least. Then Severus spoke up, “Miss McClivert, she’s too advanced for First Year Potions class, she needs to be transferred to a more advanced class. It’s only the first day and I feel that she’s already not being challenged enough.”    “But, she’s a Muggle-born, how could she be so advanced in something she only just found out about?” asked Flitwick.    “Chemistry. She used Muggle chemistry equations to put logic behind the potions ingredients. I named off completely random potions, some even that aren’t to be learned until the Third or Fourth year, and she solved them perfectly!” replied Severus.    Dumbledore intervened, “But that is just the thing, my dear boy. There are certain potions, certain charms, certain spells, that are to be taught only to the appropriate age group. Ministry rules. Besides, it is best to keep her surrounded by her fellow First years.”    “But, she’s too clever for that! Within a few years, with extra practice, she could have a Masters in Potion-making before she’s eighteen. Isn’t she that advanced in her other classes?” he looked to his colleagues, but they just shrugged.    “She seemed to be on the same level as the rest of the class; asked plenty of questions as anyone else,” McGonagall said.    “It’s because she’s still just a Muggle-born,” said Lupin, the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. “Potions really doesn’t require magic like Transfiguration or Charms does. Like Severus said, she compares it to chemistry, making it easier for her to learn.”    “Perhaps Severus could give the girl some extra Potions work. She’d still remain in the same class, but would learn a step ahead of everyone,” Minerva said to Dumbledore. He took a moment to contemplate, and then finally agreed.    And since Grace’s second week of her First year, she was doing extra problems, extra essays, staying after to make potions alongside Severus and even help him with his personal potions when she was done her work. He also didn’t know that she had snatched an old copy of Advanced Potions Making from the closet, and he didn’t know that it was his own textbook from when he was a student that he had made notes inside and rewrote instructions and even made up his own spells. And Grace hadn’t known that the Half-Blood Prince whom the book belonged to was actually her favorite professor, the one who believed in her and had big expectations for her and gave her a chance in this new world.

-

   And now, here was Severus again, giving her another chance at a family. Sure, they wouldn’t be a nuclear family, certainly not the Brady Bunch, but it was more than what Grace had now.    “Severus, you didn’t have to get me anything. Really, you’ve given me more than I could ask for,” she held the manilla envelope, playing with the metal clasp that kept it shut.    “Trust me, I haven’t done that much,” he gestured for her to open it, now his nerves were getting to him.    Whatever was inside the envelope, it was light and flat, so obviously paper. But what could it have possibly been? And why is Luna recording me? “Why are you recording me?”    “Oh, trust me, you’re going to want to remember this,” her best friend replied.    “You know what it is?” Luna just nodded.    Grace opened the envelope and pulled the papers out. For a few seconds, nothing registered. It was like she had never seen the word “Adoption” before, or never thought she’d see the word so close to her name. Finally, something clicked, her jaw dropped, and her eyes filled up with tears. She covered her mouth with her free hand and whispered, “Oh my God…” a phrase she only used on special occasions in which she was in so much shock that she forgot she was in the Wizarding World. Severus, of course, knew she crying out of pure happiness only by how her eyes squinted with glee and there was a laugh or two between each “Oh my God.”    He placed a hand on her shoulder, “Grace, are you all right?” Instantly, she was up and had her arms wrapped around Severus. He hugged her back, which only caused more tears and more giggles.    She finally got a hold of herself and looked at Severus with the most sincere look he had ever seen from her, “You have given me…” she choked on her words and while averting her eyes, bit her tongue so she didn’t break out into hysterics again. “Ever since I came here, you’ve given me more than I could ever ask for. And you are so kind to me— overly kind and caring— I’ve just- I’ve never had an adult care so much for me and it scared me! I thought, ‘This is all too good to be true, he’s going to get rid of me at the first chance!’ But now I know you’re not and that’s- you have no idea how grateful I am.”    It was like the last bit of stone chipped away from Severus’ heart and he felt himself melt completely. He even felt a few tears threaten to form in his eyes before he pulled Grace close once more and hold her tight because no, he would not be giving her up. They were stuck with each other now until forever. It didn’t scare Severus anymore that he’d have a daughter. Hell, he wanted to shout it from the rooftops he was so happy! He was honored to be Grace’s father, and how every foster parent before him failed to see that, he’d never know. But in a selfish way, he was sort of glad they did, because if they hadn’t, he would have never gotten to this point.    “I promise, I’m going to be the best daughter ever.”    He couldn’t help it; he grinned and kissed the top of her head, “Gracie, you already are.”    Both had forgotten that Luna was right there, still recording on Grace’s phone, until she sniffled and said, “Awww!”