#literally just a swamp but 10/10 anyway

[brianskangs]

also happy belated 10th anniversary to the birth of brianskangs askjdfhkasjd

[probablybadrpgideas]

I feel like this is the right place to share the story of Post Apocalyptic Macho Man Randy Savage, the one time where my bad idea was telling a player "Hey, that might be a bad idea for this campaign"

Maybe 10 years ago I dusted off d20 modern for a Fallout-inspired post apocalyptic two-shot, a lot of what I'd DMed to that point was your typical D&D and I wanted to start trying different settings. I'd imagined this to be a pretty gun-heavy few games, so when my buddy decided that he wanted to make a grappler, I told him that I didn't think that was a great idea. My buddy took that shit personally.

Now, I was used to silliness at my table. I encouraged it, in fact! This campaign also had characters based on Squidward, Shrek and the Sanik meme (to anyone that knows Fallout lore, imagine Sonic hooked on Jet), so when my friend came to me with Macho Man Randy Savage I tutted a bit, but didn't bat an eye. What I hadn't realized was that my friend had spent the three days in between our conversation and the actual game building the perfect character to make me eat my words. The Post Apocalyptic Macho Man could grapple, he could evade and he could talk his ass off and that's it, but with these three ingredients- plus the bounty of the Dice Gods- this character derailed everything I'd had planned.

Band of raiders that have a caravan held up? Suplexed into each other before they could even get their guns. Super mutant? Nothing that can't be solved by suplexing a propane tank into the mutant (plus a well timed shot from Sanik). Mirelurk? More-a graps! Wave of bullets flying towards him? That's okay, just do the trademark Randy Savage tippy-toe walk to the nearest cover, then wait for the earliest opportunity to throw cocaine in their eyes and suplex the son of a bitch that thought they could snuff out the Madness (Oh, I forgot to mention that he spent literally all his starting money on cocaine, which he used in much the same way that Dale Gribble used sand). I really go out of my way to stop one character from becoming the capital-P Protagonist of the game, but my other players quickly figured out what was happening and they leaned into Macho Man's bullshit HARD, so they'd started setting up bad guys to get suplexed! By the end of the evening, my friend sat me down, flashed me the most shit-eating grin I'd ever seen to this day, and asked "So is the grappler still a bad idea?"

To tl;dr the rest, I furiously re-wrote the plot for the second night (again, two-shot) to make the bad guy Hulk Hogan, and the final encounter boiled down to a wrestling match between the two with the other players electing to "sit in the crowd and boo the Hulkster", before ultimately the two settled their differences and decided that the easiest way to rebuild society (and get decent blow again) was to reform the WWF and found a city called WrestleMania. Sanik was on board for the blow, Squidward was convinced to join them when he was told that the wrestlers would need entrance music and, so long as they kept away from his swamp, Shrek promised to help them find a suitable place to build Wrestlemania (though it totally ended up in his swamp). Anyway, that's how I learned to never tell a player that their idea for a grappler won't work, a grappler will work in any setting if you've got enough spite in your heart

­

[calp0sa]

Favorite Headcanons for airy?

i have like 10 million headcanons for him but i’ll list as many as i can from the top of my head

-hes autistic LIKE ME!!! and is specifically very autistic about music (like meee) i like to think he had a huge collection of vinyls cds cassettes etc and its all stuff from the 60s to the early 90s. no doubt he had a bunch of posters for his favorite bands and musicians too. and hes awesome on the guitar, great rhythm guitarist… its a shame he couldn’t make his talent a profession like he once dreamed of doing. oh well, at least the number 1 perk of trucking is that its peaceful and you dont really have to interact with many people! plus trucks have radios, and cd players, so airy would often bring along a few albums to listen to as he drove those long days and nights.

-hes also got a knack for aquatic creatures (LIKE ME) of course, being a literal fish monster himself (cool fact my airy design is like actually a fish monster he can breathe underwater and everything and his limbs are covered in fish scales) airy loves fish both as friends and food. hes particularly fond of freshwater fish, which makes sense considering the fact he grew up around the swamps of louisiana (yes im making him louisianan Like Me shaddap) hes also fond of those fucked up looking deep sea creatures, just so fascinating. i think airy liked to do a little fishing in his spare time. And hes awesome at cooking em but fair warning for those with a low spice tolerance… he loves spicy food btw (like meeeee)

-when airy was in the forest, he kept a log of his thoughts on the computer, in an attempt to hopefully give himself whatever clarity he could. the notes ranged from all brief, to desperate, to hopeless, to spiraling, to borderline dadaist poetry? to insanity, to denial, to whatever, really i think his mind was obviously all over the place on a daily basis. things must have been pretty loud for him, that cassette player was probably one of the only things keeping him together, before he numbed himself n all, which is around the time he ceased writing these notes as he saw no point in doing so.

-ok enough about him suffering we’ll get back to that later Airy’s favorite drink is ginger ale i mean look at that guy and tell me he doesnt fw ginger ale or dr pepper are you kidding me. he can have dr pepper as a little treat (too much soda is bad for anyone especially if youre an old feller like airy) speaking of little treats i like to think he has an insatiable sweet tooth LIKE MEEEE and his favorite treaaats are pumpkin pie, macarons and practically anything chocolate he loves chocolate (im like allergic to not projecting onto my favorite characters if you couldnt tell) maybe airy knows how to bake a little bit i mean he is an object show host after all

-this is oddly specific but airy is a chronic pain warrior #JUSTLIKEME so when he was in the forest he’d make like home made heating pads by wetting a glob of moss and putting it against his face while he had his flame on (he sometimes put it on a plank over a bonfire if he felt like it) this was a bit tricky when he broke his face but im sure he managed he always manages (kinda) (relatively speaking)

-well anyway we’re back to the forest and i just mentioned his broken face So you know how he disappeared for seven months after he did that lol well what if it was because the pain and shock from that incident evoked the long lost clarity he’d been so stubbornly avoiding in order to cling on to his meaningless, fallacious escapism which triggered him and sent him into a state of agonizing self consciousness, reminding him of his earthly death, how he used to be Someone, and how he essentially let himself rot into what is now an empty shell of who he once was. after so many years, the first reflection he saw of himself was seen in something broken; shards of glass, of which he couldn’t stand to look at… as there is nothing comparable to the pain of revelation, the burden of truth after having been so lost and festered into the stagnant waters that surround you. he felt he had no choice, he disposed of the shards into the nearby stream. those seven months were not just a matter of physically healing, but as a means to losing himself all over again.

-Aaaanyway i think airy had a cat at some point in his life i think we can all agree hes a cat person right!!! he had a tortoiseshell kitty named goose and he loved her very much. idk why he named her goose he probably just thought it was funny to name an animal after a different animal.

-OH YEAH lemme bring amelia into this listen i am such a huge fan of the theory of airy being related to amelia so i like to think hes her uncle!! when amelia was little she’d stay over at airy’s house while her parents were away and he’d teach her stuff like how to fish, how to ward off snakes, how to kayak, all that jazz cuz he was an awesome uncle. she was kinda like an actual daughter to him. and amelia was so fond of sunny weather as a child, one dayy at airy’s house she had to stay inside because it was too rainy, so she occupied herself by drawing a little picture of the way she wished earth was; always sunny, sky always blue, grass always green, huh! the way she drew that grass as individual little triangles is all too familiar is it not…

OK I HAVE SOMEWHERE 2 GO now i’ll probablt add more later But thank u so much for asking this i love love love infodumping about anything airy related i heart airy

[zaimta]

彡A VS. B

paring: laxus dreyar x reader

zai says: the ova was so funny but the fan service was certainly something, anyways laxus fic bc it's all i can write for the 10 other fairy tail stans on here this is for you

suggestive!! i’m pushing 18 let me live

it was the aftermath of the grand magic games, fairy tail won like they said they would but the little wager they made didn’t get forgotten. since the two split teams were forced to join as one, neither team could uphold the agreement. so as a tiebreaker makarov decided on an old-fashioned rock-paper-scissors to determine the victor.

erza stepped up to face laxus in the match “you got this erza! wipe the floor with em!” you cheered on your friend along with the rest of team ‘a’. erza nodded and raised her hand, laxus took up the same motion, when erza dropped her hand she had scissors while laxus had rock.

your jaw dropped and you felt your eye twitch “you got to be kidding me.” a chorus of groans and complaints came from the ‘a’ team, it was going to be a long day for all of you.

the ‘b’ team wasted no time, as soon as they won they got straight to business. laxus pulled out a map and presented it to the ‘a’ team “go to this forest to get a magic stone.”

“magic stone?” wendy asked curiously

“the forest is called ‘las puertas del infierno’.”

you blinked at him “let me get this straight you want us to go to some forest that is literally called the doors of hell, for a rock…yeah i’m not going.”

he laughed and smirked at you “that’s cute but you don’t have a choice here babe, you have till noon.”

“please i barely wanna look for some stupid rock so why would i-” mid-sentence you let yourself think, you caught the smirk he sent your way so he was sending you along with the exploration team on purpose. he knew you, and searching through a swamp for a rock was the last thing you wanted to do.

“you sick son of a bitch you are good.” you glared at him, he knew you well and you hated it, he had just what he needed to get the upper hand in the punishment game.

you slowly trudged through the swamp, disgusted by all its inhabitants and the murky water you were walking in “guys i wanna go home.”

gray looked at you from the corners of his eyes with a sigh “you’ve been saying that for the past ten minutes y/n.”

you sucked your teeth at him and rolled your eyes “that doesn’t make it any less true. let’s just find that stupid rock go we could get out of here, i mean lucy over here covered head to toe in leeches.”

“what?!” she shrieked while running around in circles “get them off me! get them off!”

“i would put im not touching those” you pointed to the leeches on her thighs “besides i just got my nails done these weren’t cheap you know.”

nastu fired a flame attack to help lucy with the leeches, while peeling off the remaining creatures he spoke to you over his shoulder “when did you find time to get those we just, got back from the grand magic games, and how did you pay for them last time i checked you’re dirt broke like the rest of us.”

lucy slapped his head “speak for yourself!” lucy had rent to pay so she could be anything she wanted but dirt broke, she's been taking jobs back to back just to pay her rent.

you shrugged "you have your strengths and i have mine, and i happen to have a bottomless wallet on my side."

happy snickered behind his paws “yeah a bottomless wallet who’s in loveee”

you whipped your neck around and yelled at happy “can it cat!” unfortunately for you he continued giggling floating off to be by natsu.

after walking through the swamp for what felt like hours, when it reality it was a long hour and thirty minutes you finally found the stone. thanks to gray and his unfortunate set of circumstances.

when you finally returned to the guild and returned the stone just for it to be used for a makeshift jacuzzi, you and lucy shared a single glance that spoke volumes.

your eyes took in laxus' chiseled body going lower and lower until your eyes rested on his happy trail, you were no stranger to this sight but it still did the job for you every time, too busy admiring his body you didn’t notice him looking at you with a lazy grin on his face “my eyes are up here y/n.”

his voice snapped you out of your daze “hm? oh yeah sure whatever.” you looked away from him ignoring the snickers coming from the remainder of the b team.

it came time for the b team to pick members from the a team. cana took wendy, mira took erza, gajeel took lucy, and unsurprisingly juvia took gray. you, elfman and natsu unfortunately got stuck with laxus.

you were stuck tending to laxus and the thunder legion by the jacuzzi while he sent natsu and elfman on a while goose chase for milk and bread, you rose a brow as they ran out of the guild for the items.

“y/n.” he smirked at you as he spoke, he pointed to his shoulder with his thumb “i want you to give me a massage if you don’t mind.”

you resisted the urge to roll your eyes ‘if you don’t mind’ he says, like you had a choice in the first place.

you flashed him a fake smile “gee i would have too but i don’t have a swimsuit! what if i fell in? we wouldn’t want that now would we?” you knew there was no proper way to get out of this, but even if you could stall a little you would be fine.

“i could get you a swimsuit y/n.” evergreen chipped in with a smile

you immediately turned around to face her “say what now?”

laxus smirked at you and nodded towards the guild doors "evergreen go take y/n to get a swimsuit." you couldn't protest even if you wanted to, and you were a little irritated that you didn't think your plan through. after picking swimsuits with evergreen, which you think she enjoyed more than you did, you walked back to the jacuzzi where they were all waiting for you.

laxus gave a low whistle shamelessly letting his eyes hungrily roam over your body and then pointed to his shoulders "where were we?" sometimes you couldn't deny how much you hated him.

bickslow smiled and pointed to his own shoulders “i’d like a massage too.”

you scowled at him which only caused his grin to become wider “freed is literally sitting right there make him do it. you’re all dead once this day ends.”

as you massaged his bare shoulders, you noticed the marks on his back that you left from your last night together, rolled your eyes at how he showed them off and traced a finger on the red scratches letting your nail gently glide across his back.

he pointed to his shoulder with a smirk on his face “my shoulders are up here y/n. are you feeling okay you’re out of it today?” he chuckled as he felt you glaring him down, as you massaged his shoulders you occasionally moved your hands to the base of his neck, longing to put your hands around his neck and clutch.

evergreen nudged the boys knowing it was their cue to leave, evergreen sent you a wink over her shoulder as she left with bickslow and freed "try to act civil you two we're in the guild after all."

within seconds laxus pulled you onto his lap clearly ignoring evergreen's words of wisdom. he rested his hands on your waist to support you, and he smiled up at you with a gleam in his eyes. his hands roamed your body as they moved down to your hips, he pulled you closer to him your body was flush against his and he whispered in your ear “that was a dirty move you pulled using your nails like that.” his voice sent shivers down your spine, the way he whispered those words just for you to hear despite the empty room, if there was one thing he knew how to do it was how to leave an effect on you.

you fiddled with the hair on the nape of his neck knowing how it affects him “it was just a harmless massage, you were the one who told me to give you one after all.” you gently dragged your nails from his neck into his hair, grazing your nails into his scalp, grinning when he hummed at your touch.

“you play a dangerous game y/n. we’ve got a couple more hours till the day ends let’s make it count.”

[batsyforyou]

Glorfindel Sleep Headcanons

Pairing: Glorfindel x reader  Warnings: None 

Author’s Note: This is a part of the Blanket Series and I have a lot of Glorfindel coming up so I hope y’all enjoy it! 

Glorfindel is a deep sleeper.

Aside from you leaving him (or trying to anyway) or someone screaming down the hall he ain’t waking up.

And because he saw the light of the Two Trees and was sent back to Middle Earth by the Valor. He glows the brightest out of the elves from his shiny hair, to his sparkling eyes and his very glowy skin. He is the biggest night light ever. 

I can probably compare it to you accidentally leaving your tv on. The screen light that kinda travels across the room. 

So in a way your kinda cuddling your tv

A sleep mask is advised. Or maybe a blanket? Just don’t suffocate. 

He loves loves to cuddle though. And will pout about it if he doesn’t get any.

Will cuddle anyway you like from being the little spoon, to you laying on him he’s pretty much down for everything. 

The only time he hesitates to cuddle you is when he’s afraid he might hurt you.

Like if you ask him to sleep on top of you he’s willing to do it. He just wants to make sure that A. You're safe and B. You know what you're signing up for.

Though he loves having you snuggled up in his arms so he prefers to cuddle as the big spoon.

He sleeps like a rock. Doesn’t. Move. An inch. Not to mention the grip he has on you.

 My gosh it is inescapable.

 So good luck trying to get up to go to the restroom.

 He runs super warm too. And hates letting you go even if the two of you were struggling to sleep in the worst of summer, sweating enough to be in a literal swamp he still wouldn’t let you go.

As mentioned in Finrod’s Sleep Headcanons elves sleep with their eyes open so the amount of creepy staring is actually pretty minimal.

For one you're usually facing away from him and no matter what sleep position you're in you tend not to see it so creepy staring is probably 23/100.

But in the morning, ah man.

The first time you woke up from sharing a bed with him you had a heart attack.

He looked dead.

You were cuddling into his side as he slept on his back and his face was turned away from you. So you didn’t immediately see it. But when you sat up and looked at his sprawled out figure with his eyes open and sleeping so deeply. He genuinely looked very dead.

He did not appreciate being shaken awake. Thought for sure that you were under attack.

Overall he is an amazing cuddle partner but if you like your space then well- sorry.

And overheating in the summer is kinda a bust but hey your toes never freeze in the winter.

He definitely protects you from all the nightmares. And aside from the occasional snore he’s pretty quiet too.  

Glorfindel is a 7/10 sleeping buddy, if you can get past the tv bit. 

Masterlist

[lakesbian]

was doing a bit of Thinkin about bakuda due to my worm reread liveblog. she is very much a stereotypical fiery asian woman with blue eyes--shitty mundanely racist caricature alongside savage-yet-honorable lung--but it feels like there's just enough meat there that it's easy to imagine what bakuda could be if worm was really really good instead of just really good. which is why i was sitting in the shower for 10 minutes rotating her in my mind.

this little background detail:

Armsmaster nodded, “Not surprising. She’s new. What we know about her is limited. She made her first appearance and demonstration of her powers by way of a drawn out terrorism campaign against Cornell University. Lung apparently recruited her and brought her to Brockton Bay after her plans were foiled by the New York Protectorate. This is… something of a concern.”

combined with what her powers imply about her could have some genuinely interesting implications. i'm getting into "imagine if this part of worm was better" mode here & not "analyzing what's actually explicitly in the text" mode because what's in the text is very shallow but you can dig something out of that.

she has a tinker power, and tinker powers are powers that result from traumatic rock-bottom events the person with the power saw coming from a mile away--the type of thing you desperately try to build yourself an out for, but find yourself inevitably, horrendously railroaded into anyway, to the point where it would take a miracle to escape from. and that's what the resultant power is--the type of miracle you were hoping for, coming far too late to solve your problem, and fantastically extreme in its ability to solve the sort of problem you were dealing with without actually solving any of your underlying behaviors which led you to that problem in the first place.

and what, precisely, is her tinker power? Exploding Shit Real Good. she very much comes off as the literal version of finding yourself in the midst of a shitty institution, one stacked against you, one expecting you to break yourself to succeed in it, and thinking "damn i kinda wish this entire building would explode rn." it's very easy to imagine her being the type of person some would call passionate and some would say needs to calm the fuck down, very intelligent but swamped by university's increasingly difficult barriers to success and fiscal safety, perhaps expected by society as a whole to serve as the model asian woman in a deeply racist environment--smart, hardworking, successful, and still subservient. you know, all the type of shit that would have someone going Damn I Wish This Building Would Explode And We All Die in their head every time they attend college. i've seen it put forward before that she triggered after just. abruptly failing/being locked out of something academic despite all her effort, and that's what i can envision for her: struggling to keep her head above water, knowing that she's failing to meet expectations, knowing that she's eventually not going to be able to scrape by, socially or academically. her head goes under, so to speak, everything she's been working towards is fucked despite all the effort she put in, and--having always been the type of person to explode when something that unfair or awful feeling happens--she triggers, and literally explodes. proving to the university that she's talented, she's good at something, she's got something to be proud about no matter what anyone says--and if the system won't let her have anything after all the time she spent breaking herself to fit into it, then fuck the system, she hopes it explodes.

so. thats my 2 cents on bakuda but if she was more interesting. hopefully that makes sense 👍

[mishaesque]

I bought tickets for the Scotland comic con in October cause I’m like damn I’m 27 and back in the spn swamp after 10 years and I’ve had a really really shitty year so you know what?? If I can’t be happy at least 15 year old me can. I remember looking at tickets for jus in bello FOUR with my friend like wth!!!!! If you’re a teenager or like early 20s I just want to let you know that time is gonna start moving by real fast real soon so take literally every opportunity for an experience or you will regret it!!!!! Unfortunately you probably won’t understand what I mean until you’re my age lol. Sorry for the rant/ existential crisis but Anyways my question is whether I should get a photo with Jensen or Jensen and Misha????? I kind of want both lmao but that’s really really expensive 🥹

[roo-bastmoon]

How to help Jimin this week

This is for US/PR ARMYs. International puppykitties, please keep going with whatever you know works in your countries. Fighting!

So last week, you might have bought Jimin's two physical albums and/or digital versions at Target, Amazon, iTunes, and WeVerse. And when the alternative covers for the digital album dropped on the BTS US store, maybe you got those too. If you didn't? Please do that by this Wednesday night at the latest.

So what happens this week, to avoid free fall?

Welp, you can buy the digital album on Qobuz using your Facebook login if you want, it's very easy. You can go pick up the 4 physical single CDs from the BTS US Store, if you wanna do that.

You definitely should make use of Jimin Funds, which will help you use PayPal, or you can go buy your own gift cards (pre-paid VISA or iTunes gift cards), and then you make new emails and just pick up the 5 digital versions of Like Crazy, which cost a whopping $3.70 all told. You can do this on iTunes and the BTS US store!

You should sign up for free trial premium streaming if you haven't already with Apple, Amazon, Spotify, and YouTube--and then a JRJ-OT7 Face-focused playlist should be playing on your computers, tablets, phones, and smart TVs 24/7 this week. On Spotify, you swamp accounts after 20 plays and on YouTube you swap accounts after 50 plays. Remember you can buy a song for 69 cents or you can play a song 150 times on a premium account.

And you need to tweet or call your local radio stations and politely ask for them to play Like Crazy English Version every morning and every evening.

Finally, please turn on notification for VoteforPJM and follow their instructions. You'll want to watch videos every day on the idol apps (Mubeat, FanStar, IdolChamp, etc.) so you can gather up free tickets to vote for Jimin to win awards. TMI? I literally do this when I go to the bathroom. I'm a captive audience anyway and it only takes a few minutes.

Listen...

I know you're tired. I know it's been a hell of a week. I know we have other members we will need to support soon. But from now until April 21, we fight and fight hard.

When you get tired, remember that Jimin used to diet until he passed out. Jimin used to work in the studio until 4am and then go to school at 6:30am and get straight A's. Jimin used to go on world tours while also getting his BA and MA and being a UN ambassador. Despite COVID and appendicitis and mail tampering and apartment seizure and death threats, Jimin worked hard on concerts and his album and Expo duties--even falling asleep in the studio most nights. For 10 long months, Jimin quietly took his pain and his loneliness and he turned it into art. He coded and he hid a love track... and he paid to do music shows and did fan calls... all for fans because he had something to share with us... and those of us who love him clearly see what he meant us to.

He did all this, and he made history. And the first thing he did was come live to credit BTS and ARMY.

Of course ARMY will have his back now, right?

[sir-squibbly]

Big Bug Appreciation Post! (1/2)

For anyone who’s been on my blog, or has interacted with me, it’s no surprise I’m a bug enthusiast. But I don’t think I’ve ever made an official bug appreciation post, and there are a lot of bugs in my state that I think are super neat, so I wanted to briefly talk about them here. Not all of them will be insects though.

Unfortunately, I won’t be putting in any isopods or roaches because my state doesn’t have a whole lot of those guys that I would consider “particularly special.” But just note that I do appreciate isopods and roaches, and think that they have a great impact on their natural environments.

Anyway, onto the bugs!

Blue-Winged Wasp

These babes usually hang out in the dog fennel near my yard, and I think they’re very pretty wasps. Their wings are an iridescent blue (hence the name), and their yellow spots are quite cute. They're also relatively chill, so you can stand pretty close to them and they wouldn’t care.

2. Common Paper Wasp

They’re everywhere, but I’d be lying if I said they weren’t pretty either. I think that they have a really neat color palette and super cool pattern to them. I’ve had personal experience with them, and I’ve always made sure that when I went on my balcony, that I didn’t present as a threat to them. Overall, I enjoyed sitting with these pretty critters.

3. Giant Leopard Moth

They look like snow leopards! Ironically enough, similar to how snow leopards are closely related to tigers, leopard moths are closely related to tiger moths (in fact, they’re in the same family). I raised one of these guys. His name was Napoleon, and he was the fanciest little guy 🩵.

4. Amber Snail

It’s usually stated online that amber snails are a pretty rare species. So I think it was pretty neat how I once found five or six on my mom’s calla lilies. They’re very tiny and very adorable, ‘nuff said.

5. Golden Sill Orb Weaver

A huge species of orb weaver that I think is absolutely gorgeous. These gals can get big, and I mean BIG. But no matter the size, it’s always a treat to see them during walks into the woods.

6. Agapostemon Sweat Bee

Agapostemon is actually just a genus of sweat bee, and I’ve personally come across at least two species. All I really need to say about these guys is that they’re metallic green bees, and the ones that live near my house are surprisingly mega chill (I still wouldn’t hold one tho lol).

7. Bee Fly

Maybe not as cute as their Japanese relatives, but they’re still whimsical little fairy creatures that I would absolutely pet in a heartbeat (if given the chance).

8. Flatback Millipede

I just wanted to bring up how metal I think these guys are. 10/10, absolutely fire little guys 🔥🔥🔥.

9. Eastern Pondhawk

They’re everywhere in the local pond and I love them. They’re one of my favorite examples of dimorphism because of how cool the females look (they’re the green ones). But sometimes it can be hard to distinguish a male and a female because younger males are more green. Still, they’re cool bugs.

10. Violet Dancer

In my opinion, one of the prettiest species of damselflies. I’ve encountered one of these before (at a swamp). They’re just as vibrant as in the pictures 💜.

11. Ebony Jewelwing

Another beautiful damselfly! This time, on a larger scale. These can also be found in swamps, and their metallic green color is super cool.

12. Swallowtails (Just in General)

(Pipevine Swallowtail in the picture)

Swallowtails are my state’s official butterfly, and the reason for that is pretty simple: They’re literally everywhere. The most common is the Eastern Tiger, but there are other species, such as: The Black Swallowtail, Zebra Swallowtail, Pipevine Swallowtail, and probably even more. Another neat thing about them is that they’re in the same family as the world’s largest butterfly species: The Queen Alexandra’s Birdwing. So there’s some fun lil trivia for ya 👍.

13. Golden Northern Bumblebee

They’re very friend-shaped, and also very big. In fact, some of them can get bigger than carpenter bees. They don’t visit very often, but I really like them.

14. Variegated Fritillary

A very close relative of the gulf fritillary. In fact, I found caterpillars of both species eating passion vine together.

You can usually tell them apart pretty easily since Variegated caterpillars are lined with white dots. Also, fun fact: Their spines are non-stinging and completely harmless in general.

15. Larger Elm Leaf Beetle

Super friend-shaped, and extremely lightweight (you will barely feel them on your hand). They're pretty easy to handle since they’re very docile. But they’re considered pests to certain plants, so they’re not very liked by gardeners.

16. Golden Tortoise Beetle

Also friend-shaped, but very tiny and super skittish. One really interesting thing about them is that their larvae use their own feces as a shield. So, yeah, that’s a thing that they do.

17. Imperial Moth

A close relative of the Luna Moth (they’re in the same family). They might not be the most extravagant moths, but they have a rustic charm to them, and they remind me of bananas. Also, they’re fluffy, so they’re automatically cute.

18. Pink-Striped Oakworm Moth

A much smaller relative of the Luna Moth (also in the same family). These babes are nocturnal and absolutely adorable.

19. Antlion

Despite being shaped like a damselfly, these fellas are more closely related to lacewings and mantidflies. You may recognize their name, and that’s because the most notable thing about antlions is their larvae (also called “doodlebugs”).

Y’know, these silly lil guys. The ones that make pit traps to eat their favorite food: Ants. They're funky. I love them.

20. Spring Fishfly

I just think they’re cool. They come from water.

21. Woolly Apple Aphid

Adorable, fluffy, whimsical fairy creatures. I had the pleasure of holding one once. You can’t even feel them on your finger.

22. Red Velvet Ant/ Cow Killer

Despite her name, she’s not actually an ant. She’s a type of wasp in the family Mutilidae, where females are wingless. These wasps (specifically the males) are called “cow killers” because of a myth that said their stings were so powerful, they could kill a cow. This isn’t true tho.

23. Crane Fly

They look like giant mosquitoes, but fear not! They won’t hurt you! In fact, one of their nicknames is “mosquito eater.” But they don’t actually eat mosquitoes. At least, the adults don’t. They don’t even have the proper mouthparts to do that. Instead, Crane Flies feed on nectar, which makes them minor pollinators. So while they can get everywhere once they spawn, they’re not actually that big of a problem. And they’re super frail, so please be gentle if you want to hold them🤎.

24. Two-Spotted Longhorn Bee

Absolutely adorable! They don’t visit very often, but when they do, they like to visit the sage in the garden. I usually find them frequently the same plants as the Leafcutter bees.

25. Giant Water Bug

One of the coolest dudes ever. You’ll always find them anywhere wet, but please know that they can get BIG. They won’t charge after you, but they will bite if they feel threatened, and it will hurt. I’ve encountered these funky guys before, and I just admire them from a good distance.

26. Promachus Robber Flies

Promachus is also just a genus of robber fly (I don’t know how many species live in my state tho). I just think they look cool. And they’re good for pest control 👍.

27. Common Checkered Skipper

Cute little babies that are slightly blue. I have one in my bug collection.

28. Long-Tailed Skipper

Another cute little baby. And also blue! These things are pretty common in the garden, and I’m always happy to see them.

Reached the image count limit. I’ll post the second part in a bit.

[crediblebombthreat]

Incomplete List of Fucked Up and Evil Things I've Done in Souls Games

The PS5 Demon's Souls remake brought in a lot of people who had no idea how to play souls games. So after 20 successful invasions in a row I made a character with the rule that I could only kill people after parrying them. This didn't slow down the slaughter at all, and I think just made fighting against me even more demoralizing.

In Elden Ring, I made this character named "Bleeding is Fair" and went on a two hour journey to get two thrusting swords and a bleed infusion for both. I didn't level up once during that entire affair, so I spent the next few hours invading people who had just made new characters and were exploring the first areas. Unspeakable amounts of carnage. Because of how the dual wield thrusting sword moveset works, anyone who hid behind a shield got absolutely shredded. Utterly unfair. I only stopped when I invaded these two people with the names "Gamer BF" and "Gamer GF," I killed Gamer BF and then Gamer GF used the dejection emote and stopped fighting. :C

In Dark Souls 3, there's this thing you can do to be a purple invader. You aren't an enemy or an ally, but a secret third thing. Anyway, I invaded as a purple guy in an early game area and noticed that the host was really struggling with this group of enemies. So I helped him kill one. Then I aggroed like 5 more and jumped off a cliff to leave him to fend for himself.

I made a bloodtinge build in Bloodborne.

Demon's Souls has this boss that's actually a real human person (Old Monk). Obviously, I loved being the Old Monk. The issue is, to fight this boss, players have to go up a huge set of stairs filled with some really frustrating and bullshit enemies. Imagine, if you will, that you're a player. You summon a friend. You both use bows to slowly kill the enemies leading up to the Old Monk fight. This takes five minutes. You both try to attack through the door to see if the person is trying to use some scummy magic to kill you. He doesn't! This is good! You both enter the door, and within about ten seconds I've parried and one-shot you both. Better luck next time! This exact set of events happened with SHOCKING regularity. We're talking upwards of 20 times across several months.

In Elden Ring I used the Giant Crusher to flatten people going up an elevator several times. There is basically no way they would have known I was there unless they had some level of intuition or self-preservation (no one co-oping souls games has these qualities), so it just kept working.

The PS5 Demon's Souls remake has this ring that lets you walk through swamp water like it's nothing instead of a thick goo that slows you down by like 50,000%. So I would get that ring really early on and then invade people in the swamp area, trapping them on the little islands because they couldn't move faster than me. I'd let them damage me a bit so they'd get greedy, run into the swamp, and then I'd move faster and backstab them. This worked literally every time.

In one of the last areas of Elden Ring, there's this boss that requires you to juggle aggro in a really irritating way, so a lot of people summon for it. I invaded there a lot, and used the numerous and powerful enemies there as friends to put people in awful situations that made it to where they HAD to take damage. Did a successful 1v3s in this area just by being patient. One of them took like 15 minutes and 90% of it was me just wasting the everyone's time until they got greedy and died. Which was incredibly lame of me.

In Elden ring, there's this mini-dungeon that's really fun to invade in (Wyndham Catacombs for those who are curious). It's not really fun to invade in because you're guaranteed to win (I think only like 30-40% of my invasions there were successful). It's fun to invade in because when you do succeed, it's utterly humiliating for the host. We're talking ladders that take 10 seconds to climb up so you can either prep a one shot or just stall everyone until they're willing to tank a hit. We're talking little corners that allow you to surprise people with the nasty dragon vape spell. We're talking a GIANT room with a moving floor that will squish you if you stay in it for too long, so you can lure people in there and push them out of the safe spots so they get flattened. I can guarantee I've ruined some people's days with this one.

Finally, in Demon's souls remake, I made a character that ONLY leveled magic. Because of how powerful magic is in Demon's souls, I was able to make it to new game plus easily. Here's a shitty video I made like 2 years ago showing how it went. I don't think I can describe it accurately with words. This was not cool of me to do.

[eretzyisrael]

by Jack Engelhard

So this time it’s not 1,000 for one. Well, that’s an improvement. This time it’s 150 Arab terrorists in exchange for 50 Israeli hostages.

To some, that’s considered a win. Hey, look, we didn’t cave completely, only partly.

Did you get back all the hostages in this deal? That would have been something. But you didn’t. Abraham was also a lousy bargainer. Maybe that’s where this starts.

Frankly, I had intended to write something upbeat, especially when my IDF brothers in arms are fighting like lions inside the belly of the beast. (My guys were the Navy.)

But like you, dear reader, I am so damn depressed. Literally, where’s the light at the end of the tunnel?

I hardly hear any talk of victory any more. Mostly, the talk I’m hearing is about those “innocent Gaza civilians” and how Israel’s NUMBER ONE priority is to keep them safe.(Not Netanyahu and the government, thank G-d - they promise to go on to the end of Hamas and called its leaders "dead men walking" just last night.)

That’s the ballgame?

Secretary of State Antony Blinken thinks hardly about anything else, which is why he keeps traveling to Israel…to press the point.

There he is again this week…also to put the squeeze on Israel for “the day after,” which is a column for later.

He’s getting ready…with Biden, and the State Department…to swamp Israel ought of existence through another two-state solution, only this time with MORE land for the Arabs.

You heard that right. More land and THIS TIME they will be happy campers. Blinken is betting on this, with Israel’s money.

Which Israeli government will push back and resist? Or will it always be back to square one?

I am not confident. History tells us that leftist elements in Israel are always ready to concede for the “sake of peace in our time.” Per Neville Chamberlain.

Will it constantly be the same merry-go-round?

Nor can I forget the peaceniks who gave us Oslo, and the man, Ariel Sharon, who brought us to this pass when he gave this good Jewish land over to the Arabs. Hence, Hamas.

In earlier columns we proved that there are no innocent Gazans. They are all the same. One part does the killing, the other part does the cheering.

Dear Israel…how often will you let them play you like a fiddle? The enemy seems always a step ahead of you. Certainly the case Oct 7. Thereafter, as well.

We’re supposed to be so smart. They never produced an Einstein, and we have won 214 Nobel Prizes to their ZERO…all for what, when it comes to our survival.

Yet so often they outsmart us. We’re told that the 150 terrorists being released are really good terrorists. Quite harmless. Yet among them, we are learning, there exists car rammers, knife stabbers, suicide bombers, and outright murderers. BUT…they have been koshered by the government because they are only 99.9 percent like Hamas, not 100 percent. They did not succeed in their plans to murder Jews.

So, as of this writing, the deal is on…that is, for this group of 50…200 more to go.

Why art thou downcast O my soul? (David)

Because I know what’s coming. Hamas is going to drag this along for two years…one gift at a time…five, 10, maybe 20 hostages incrementally.

I so terribly hope I am wrong.

They can play this game down to one hostage left to taunt us with a Shalit all over again.

Meantime, the IDF will be stymied, the leadership, stalemated.

Let it not be so.

Hamas has this all figured out. Do the Israelis? How is it that Hamas gets to call the shots? Yes, Israel should have insisted on the release of all the hostages at once.

Or else, fire and brimstone of Biblical proportions. It’s what Churchill would have done…and did. Victory at all costs.

After all that, there is this: my niece Miriam, whose children live in Beer-Sheva…anyway, Miriam sends me the talks given by the Rebbe.

I listen to them every day…and they do uplift, give strength, and optimism. There shall be no despair. Israel…the Jewish People…will prevail.

Heck, I’m trying to be upbeat. Work with me.

[organicfirewood]

The Tortured Poet's Department (Katie's Version)

basically i'm liveblogging this as i listen. talking into the void; this is more for me to reflect back onto than a genuine critique of the album.

Most excited for: "Florida!!!" "Down Bad" & "WALOL?"

I'm hoping that this album will sonically resemble folklore and evermore... more acoustic, stripped-back, and raw. I'm still wondering about the "✌️" imagery and how that'll play into the album... maybe feeling two-faced or double-crossed?

Fortnight (feat. Post Malone) - ok... rehab. uh oh. swifties have been calling her a drunk for a while... but nobody ever took it seriously. this must be about a rebound... i don't want to say MH. ugh i loooove how this sounds. like a more sober midnights. no pun intended... sorry. post malone was honestly such a genius move for this song- his voice sounds very youthful paired with hers... hopeful.

2. The Tortured Poets Department - YESSS 80's into!!! god i love this instrumental so far. (I use a typewriter!!!) holy fuck nooooo this has the charlie puth lyric. more wedding references.

3. My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys - ok. that charlie puth lyric left a bad taste in my mouth im trying to recover. i like that her vocal tone is a little darker here- would lower register apply for this? "he only runs because he loves me" real af i get you, queen. love that we've graduated to only having sandcastles instead of fortresses. these lyrics are also very ex-best-friend-coded... im projecting.

4. Down Bad - funkyyy okay. aww dun-dun-dun-dun! i wonder what mr kelce thought of all of this... oh, to be a fly on every single wall. yeah i like this one a lot. somehow also very 1989(tv ftv) coded. this sounds like denial into anger if we're still talking about the stages of grief. "like i lost my twin" is like "twin fire signs." i think she keeps seeing herself in her partners and feels abandoned when things don't work out.

5. So Long, London - ok intro eatssss down! this sounds like a driving-on-the-highway-song. i like how "talky" this is. it's very theatrical. this gives the sense that they (taylor and whoever this may be about) may have bonded over their sadness and the other party got upset when she started to heal. also, another reference to altars, but that may strictly be a religious metaphor.

6. But Daddy I Love Him - the intros are great. love the acoustic sounds. i really like this one a lot... this is a lot more whimsical and could almost fit on a Speak Now-style record. yeah, this is fantastic. such a quintessential Taylor Swift song. i'm terrified of how literally people (millennials on tiktok) are going to take this.

7. Fresh Out The Slammer - YUHHHH these intros!! ugh god i love a western motif. this is beautiful. this might be my favorite so far. i can't help but wonder what "time" she did. rehab, like previously alluded to? a rebound? a tortuous relationship? the period in a public career where one is constantly criticized and scrutinized? another ring mention.

8. Florida!!! (feat. Florence + The Machine) - huh. weed and babies. awesome! i agree, florida is one hell of a drug. "cheating husband..." uhokok. ok yes swamp imagery! yes southern/florida gothic! what shitstorm happened in texas? taylor please eliminate the urban sprawl in florida it'll give you more room to bury bodies!! pleaseee.

9. Guilty as Sin? - again. great intros. uh oh. is it just me, or does this sound like a 1975 song?? i like the production regardless. "we've already done it in my head" again real af. this song is real af. this is like limerence... these lyrics are kinda pushing the envelope, no? for taylor's standards, anyway.

10. Who's Afraid of Little Old Me? - another western-esque motif. we are scared of you taylor, i promise. contained scandal... oh? is this the cheating allegation??? this bridge was legitimately chilling. her reputation era was only a scratch on the surface. i think she needs a legitimate full-blown villain era (as a treat). i'm scared for track 13.

11. I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) - moooore western motifs. yuh okay i like this one. more texas. what happened in texas? did anything happen in texas or is it just a placeholder? the vocals on this one are like velvet. "GOOD BOY"???? and the references to angels??? please. please. thank you, taylor.

12. loml - sigh. im not ready for this one. "better safe than starry-eyed" is a fabulous lyric. i can't wait to see that on fan merch everywhere. another reference to marriage. this is very reminiscent of "you're losing me." more rings and cradles. christ. loss of my life! loml.

13. I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - im not ready i dont think. the intro, again, is great. sounds like setting up the tour. i hope that this album was therapeutic for her. yesss i love this one actually. i love when artists do the sarcastic happy-sad trope. taylor, please know that 90% of the eras tour crowds was and is sympathetic; we were only cheering for you, not for what you do. yes key change! yes i love this one!

14. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - jehovah's witnesses mentioned. just wanting to know why is so incredibly valid and a universal truth, i think. this one left me with a pit in my stomach.

15. The Alchemy - chemicals... hospitals... i hope she writes an autobiography one day. touchdown! so this is a travis-era song? i like the sound design of this one.

16. Clara Bow - nooo im not ready. stevie nicks reference!! :) i don't think she's exactly regretting her fame, but certainly re-evaluating it here. we (media, society, swifties) need to leave her alone, please.

I hope that the creation of this album was cathartic for her; it feels intensely personal. I don't like speculating about her life, yet so many of these songs are extremely context-dependent. Most of all, I hope that she gets the healing she needs. She's such an important figure for so many people; more people want the best for her than don't. It's been very clear for a while that she's been suffering. Everyone breaks at some point... I keep seeing The Tower in my mind.

[insipid-drivel]

Stuff That‘s Part Of My Everyday Life Living In A Swamp Notorious For Bigfoot Sightings

Yes, I really do live in a swamp. So, for those of y’all that are scared of Bigfoot Country, here are some cool tidbits about what it’s like!

-Yes, there are bears. You only know about the bears if they’re comfortable enough to let you see them walking around. Don’t be an asshole and tiptoe around like a creep and scare them. If one is hanging out around your garbage cans or napping in your driveway, just start talking to the bear like it’s your best friend. They think it’s weird and walk away.

-Yes, there are wolves and coyotes. I used to hang out with a pack of coyotes in the woods when I was 10 years old. Calm down.

-We only have one species of venomous snake, and another species of non-venomous snake that looks almost exactly like the venomous one. A literal nursery rhyme is all you have to remember to tell the difference.

-The one type of venomous snake doesn’t like biting at all and is more likely to cry into a pillow and talk to a therapist than bite you if you’re being mean to it. Don’t hate on our sensitive little dangernoodles. They have anxiety.

-Bigfoot is minding his own business stop filming the poor bastard he’s just trying to go from Point A to Point B.

-I know The Eyes are scary at night, but it’s because you’re pointing your flashlight right at them when they’re trying to sleep. Turn your highbeams off and mind your business. The Eyes are just The Eyes.

-Nettles, poison ivy, and poison oak are around and you’re spending unnecessary cash on creams for it because there are multiple other plant species that grow around them whose juices produce a natural balm that stops the burning/itching.

-Leave the rock piles alone. Yes, I know river rocks have no business being stacked around in the middle of a forest and they keep coming back. Yes, it’s weird. Leave the rocks alone. That’s someone’s art.

-Bones are everywhere. We know. I have a pile of them drying out in my closet right now. They’re useful for things. Bog and forest witches are a thing out here. I’m one of them. Stay out of my Grove unless you’ve got bones, feathers, or antlers to offer. I need those.

-The deer will check on you if they hear you crying or playing a musical instrument. It’s a compliment.

-Stop making eyecontact with every animal you see it’s rude and makes them uncomfortable.

-Stop running and panicking when you hear the footsteps. You’re just gonna exhaust yourself and look like an idiot. The footsteps keep up with you no matter how fast you run. You can’t outpace the footsteps. Relax and ask for directions if you’re lost.

-The swamp will comfort you if you go there when you’re sad or scared. The swamp will fuck with you if you blunder in and start freaking out at what’s already there. You will feel it laughing at you.

-The Forest Gods are 100% fuckable so long as you’re cool with them stalking you afterward. They were probably stalking you beforehand anyway.

-Quicksand is real. It’s called mud.

[glitchdollmemoria]

mutual 1: lost my damned tome again, i think i should just become a blacksmith at this rate

mutual 2: yeah milord that "herb" is a "spell component" 😏😶‍🌫️

mutual 3: i just know the court jesters pussy is tight

mutual 4: met this knight at the tavern and he bought me a drink after my gig and so i started kissing on his helmet only for him to take it off and reveal he was a butch lesbian who thought i was a fair maiden but no im just some fucking twink in tights fml fml

mutual 5: the skeletons are back

mutual 6: the king loves the way i jingle 🔔... yet her majesty hears not a chime! 🤭

mutual 7: my horse doesnt know how to read scrolls. my horse doesnt know anything

mutual 8: EXTREMELY disappointed in thayleria the swift :( the piercing tusk of a wild beast would do less harm to us all than her treacherous queerbaiting. might take a break from social magica #gayleria #we fucking trusted you #does our patronage mean nothing to you

mutual 9: lord maladaptivus should be slain

mutual 10: did elf ketamine with aldrunne oakbow and they put me in the hundred year labyrinth because "youre funny when youre confused" literally what the hell is their problem. anyway are there any cronefuckers online? fantastic news dearie

mutual 11: i need to dunk blorb'o from my epics in tar

mutual 12: sorry i havent been active im swamped in parchmentwork #aging scryblr userbase i know

mutual 13: BY THE DIVINES I NEED GNOME GOCK

mutual 14: necromancy is literally fine i dont understand all the fuss?? theyre already dead they dont care if i use them in battle

mutual 15: wyrm day isnt gonna save scryblr you buffoons

mutual 16: holy fucking shit i cant believe some of you actually dont ask the dead for permission before resurrecting them. you are literally the entire reason that necromancy is still illegal in some kingdoms. You Are The Problem. get help.

mutual 17: please remember good revolt etiquette! *quill drawn infographic with the worst advice youve ever seen*

mutual 18: how to undo rat curse

mutual 19: this loser just tried to give my mother a dowry of two hens and a pebble for my hand in marriage,, i,,,, ???

mutual 20: ok but am i the only one who thinks adventurers are hot when theyre all exhausted and grimy and weary and (the royal archers aim directly through my window)

mutual 21: had another prophetic dream. tome in chimera lair

[eclaire-went-bam]

warning. this post is gonna have a lot of over-explaining simple concepts anyone can observe in the show because i'm autistic thanks

also episode 8 hazbin spoilers

ft alastor homework doodle

someone's probably already said this, but regarding "finale" from hazbin hotel i like;; didn't watch it with subs bcs the service i used just didn't have them

& for the longest time i thought alastor's "and i barely escaped being killed by a hair" was actually "...killed by a hare"

i don't know if this specific wording was intentional or it's literally just me misinterpreting it, but it did made me think about alastor's death. the whole thing is that he was the hunter, before momentarily becoming the hunted. literally.

he went from the most dangerous thing in the woods (swamp?? marsh???) to the deer that gets hunted with ease, the whole being a deer thing is a reminder of that (which obviously isn't new news or anything)

moreover almost every scene he's in seems to be a struggle for the narrative, or for control, or for at least some unspoken acknowledgment that he is The Radio Demon — he does Not enjoy not being untouchable

he refers to most by "my dear" (my deer) — he sees most as potential prey or at least much more feeble/helpless & deer-like. maybe partially why he consistently helps mimzy, for example. he may not see her as a potential victim of his but he does acknowledge a power difference, which both invokes a sense of responsibility & a sense of pride/power when reinforced

but he refers to everyone in this way while also having a preference for vension. and also cannibalising rotting deer corpses. So like.

now back to the actual line. he went into the fight with adam, not even concerning himself with bringing an angelic weapon with him (despite it being clear angels can only be killed by such). yknow, weapons & beings associated with light, while alastor's powers are based in shadows. he thought he could do it alone, and failed. this was the the breaking point of his struggle for control that he's been shown to subtly be experiencing throughout the season. perhaps when everybody forgot about the radio demon, cognisant of the fact vox was broadcasting this attack, he believed he could show hell once again who he was.

(little note i think it's a cool detail that our framing shows alastor as all-powerful, everybody knows him, he's terrifying, and he definitely is terrifying, subtle interactions with those not as involved with our narrative, such as carmilla and lucifer, shows something slightly different. alastor has taken control of the way we see the show, namely himself)

and i mean what he did do was extremely impressive, but nobody's gonna mention that. he was shown, after 7 years, being bested, while being broadcasted by vox. Like !! that's a win to the v's

jesus christ tangential ok i'm just writing off the top of my head

but what's more feeble than a deer?? a 🎶Hare🎶

often hunted

though deer are prey, they can still be dangerous. they can still be intimidating. their antler's are dangerous. their hooves are too !!! those things KILL!!!!‼️‼️‼️

rabbits and the like?? not so much

is it possible that in these moments, alastor saw adam as that hare? talks big, but ultimately unimpressive? if so, how much would it utterly irk him that the hunter was bested by a hare?

anyways thank you for coming to my most delusional ted talk where i spent only the last 10% of this post getting to the point

[urrone]

This is a story about me crying.

Once a week when we can manage it, I go to one of those gaming bars and play D&D with friends. Darby is a half elf raised in a swamp by her human mother, now on a quest to find her dad, newly possessed of a bunch of bardic powers she doesn’t know the origins of. We’re somewhat newly level 10, which is only relevant in that Darby is a College of Lore, so at level 10 she got access to additional magical secrets, which is when I had her pick up Find Greater Steed. 

My DM, hereafter just referred to as DM, is great. I love him. He’s great at RP, great at balancing fights, great at handling a lot of big personalities around our table (myself most definitely included). He loves to incorporate gaining new powers or new skills into game play, not quite on a level with Matt Mercer but not *unlike* Matt Mercer, if you know what I mean.

So we were heading into the Fey Wild and since I wanted my greater steed to have fey origins, I talked to him about RPing getting access to the spell. He said he’d love to do that but we went to the FW and both of us kinda forgot. So last week I was just said to him that I’d start using it, no big deal.

Yes I’m getting to the crying part hang on.

So last night we’re headed out on the road after spending the night in a hunting lodge with a vampire. (He’s a friend? I guess?) and I literally said out loud “hey guys, look what I figured out I can do!” and then, in game play, ten minutes later (that’s how long it takes to cast) a peryton appears.

I pulled up a picture of what a peryton looks like, because everyone was curious, and one of the guys at the table starts doing this truly terrible cartoon voice and is like “that’s what it sounds like.” So the DM starts picking it up and talking to me in that voice, because everyone was laughing. I mean absolutely everyone thought this was the funniest thing of the evening.

Except me.

I started to protest, because this voice was truly just the most grating thing I could think of. The rogue rolled to imitate the voice and got a nat 20, so the DM was like “no you hear it coming out of Pantomime.” I told the DM that it doesn’t communicate out loud, we communicate telepathically, and so he said that’s what it sounds like in my head. Everyone was laughing so loud that I truly don’t think anyone was really paying attention to how much I wasn’t laughing. I dispelled the steed and the last thing it did in that awful voice was tell me it loved me.

One thing I’ve had some time to think about since last night is how my family interacts with each other. I love my family a lot, but we’ve got a mean streak down the center of us when we get together that I think my dad is 90% responsible for. There’s nothing my family loves more than to laugh at each other, whether the person means to be funny or not. Like a pack of jackals we find the weak, sore spots and just laugh at them, whether the victim participates or not. It becomes even funnier when they protest, and if they lash back out or respond poorly, it becomes their fault for how they’re reacting to it. They shouldn’t be so sensitive, we have to take responsibility for how we react to things, etc. The gaslighting is real.

So last night I started telling everyone how it felt, to have everyone laughing at something but me, when I had been excited to have the spell, when I’d literally prefaced casting the spell with “watch what I can do!” and then have it go so poorly and feel like the butt of the joke for protesting. And in the middle of talking about it, I started crying. And I know I started crying because it made me feel 12 years old again, told that the violence of my emotions at being laughed at was somehow my fault. But there I was, 41 years old, crying in front of a group of my peers about being picked on.

The DM apologized and we moved on, but the session was almost over anyway.

I texted him later and apologized for overreacting, said that it was a family trauma button I didn’t really have a good grasp on, and he texted back almost immediately that I should never apologize for having feelings, and that he was sorry he didn’t recognize how upset it made me and that he’ll do better in the future at reading people when things start getting out of hand. He really is a good dude.

It’s just been weird for me to reflect on since last night, the trauma buttons that my family placed in my psyche and the way they get set off. Like I said, I love them so much, but they’re all assholes for various reasons.

I don’t know, I just needed to write this out, I think.