#literally stuck on the couch
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AU where the Fentons end up with Dan, all of Danny's clones, and a handful of AU Dannys and have to find a way to explain suddenly having so many kids that look like Danny with similar names WHILE avoiding making the GiW suspicious.
#danny phantom#we can throw in a flynn as a treat just to confused people as well#a dozen black haired blue eyed ghost hybrids and some random ginger hippie#can you imagine the chaos of it all#like the werewolf family in Hotel Transylvania except with halfas#corpse au Danny chilling in the corner with Snapping Sound and full ghost AU Dannys discussing being literally dead#ghost king and demon Danny probably fistfighting over whether or not murder is a viable solution#dan joins in#just ALL the AUs in one spot and stuck/adopted by the Fentons#Dash would lose his mind if the big Frankenstein's monster looking clone showing up to school#like yes you! you join us immediately! you will be a jock!#little baby man just chewing on the couch like an angry puppy
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I had an Isaac run where it was so stressful my heartrate was at a 145bpm and it persisted for 6 hours. After that, like every day that followed, my heart would just suddenly shoot up to 120-140bpm for an hour if I so much as thought about something I've been stressing over recently. Everybody encouraging me to go to the ER. And I'm just like "Oh please I've actually always been like this, I'm fine." Had to chop down my Adderall dosage. But I swear I've felt like this since high school, but I guess the medicine enhances the feeling and that feeling was ANXIETY.
So, suffice to say, playing The Binding of Isaac™️ almost gave me a heart attack.
#and its not the adderall thats just inducing the heartrate#cause i only got prescribed adderall this year#dad got diagnosed with afib when i was still in school. he rushed himself to the hospital with mom while i was taking a test#i was like what the heck where did you guys go and mom said oh dad was having a heart attack or something and we didnt want to bother you#like WOULDNT YOU TELL YOUR CHILD OH MAYBE YOU WONT SEE YOUR FATHER AFTER WE GO TO THE HOSPITAL BUT FINISH YOUR EXAM BABY#that was like 2020 and we have a couple of those oxygen readers for your fingers and it measures your heartbeat#i out one on for fun im just sitting there at the dinner table and my heartrate was at 120#like i didnt do anything we been stuck at home because pandemic and we just having a nice dinner#and my heartbeat was just thats my resting heartrate. they told me to try the blood pressure thing#average blood pressure but truly my heartbeat was just vibing at 120. mis padres were like oh no maybe you have afib too#babes youre too young to have that. and i jsut said oh is that what it means when im nauseous and have to lie down#i havent been diagnosed with anything. i suspect is tachycardia but no official thing#although i havent seen a cardiologist. what if we pay to get a screening and its nothing#i dont want to go thru all that and let it be nothing. lets wait until its a real problem#when my brother and his family visited just like what two weeks ago he was like#he was sitting on moms exercise bike and said it reads your heartrate#and it did you put your hands on the handle and it reads yer pulse#i told him like oooh let me try. hey brother my resting heartrate is 120 a lot. and hes like. what. get on this thing#and i get off the couch literally resting and lay my hands on the handles#and we see it go up. from 80 to 90 to 100 to 110 to 120 and hes a nurse and my moms a nurse and he says go upstairs and rest#dont hang out here with the kids. and im like ha i already told mom#he said sit there for ten minutes dont do anythingg and were trying again#he got mom to call our doctor and my doctor said to stop taking the adderall which is NOT IDEAL theres worse repurcussions to stop cold#so i cut mine in half. cause i had a dosage of 20mg and i almost fainted at work. we died the dosage down to 15#but after all that i cut my 15 down to 7.5 cause hey i cant stop cold but i can ween myself#brother said i shouldnt be taking adderall if im not doing anything that requires focus. but im like i need focus to live man#look at how much ive been drawing...i mean its only in like hour long intervals but its productive#so theres that. i can feel my heartrate already up but i guess its just a thing with me...anywho#doodles#the binding of isaac
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good news: we have water again ! ! ! a pipe had burst somewhere up the street so the city came out and fixed it today (we still need to run the tap to get rid of the air and muddy water but. it's something.)
bad news: i had to go to my partner's to do laundry and shower so i missed out on work time today (bad) (anxiety inducing) (i don't need this right now)
worst news: i have a killer headache and my throat is suspiciously stiff 👁 👁
#please please please for the love of god ; ; ;#i am begging and pleading do Not let this be a repeat of last semester ; ; ; ;#this is exactly how i felt last time i got sick with covid and i Cannot afford another late start ; ; ; ;#i am. suddenly stuck by The Unwelcome Guest last week cryptically asking me when you're supposed to test for covid#and then saying 'hmm. okay. good to know.' and then refusing to elaborate#i swear. to god if she got me sick i'm#i. can't even say. i'm suddenly struck by such helpless grief thinking about how little i can do to keep her from being in my life ; ; ; ;#we literally Evicted her she all but threatened my older sibling into letting her visit weekly to take care of her potted plants#and then in october last year she was like 'my roommate has covid and i don't have money for a hotel i have nowhere to go :'('#so the agreement was she could stay for One Week#and basically she has been. on and off our couch since then.#like. only going back to her apartment for 1 to 3 days at a time before spending another two weeks in our house.#with new excuses every time.#and literally Every Time I Say No And Put My Foot Down older sibling begs on her behalf because she's busy hounding and guilt-tripping them#so like. what can i even do if it turns out she infected me with covid because she didn't care to disclose that she was feeling sick#(and decided to come over anyway)#i'm just. overwhelmed ; ; ;#i feel like crying ; ; ;#i'm already busy pre-mourning the loss of my mental health and down time with my internship starting back next week#i don't need to worry about whether or not i'm going to be bed ridden for 2 weeks#and suffer Even More lasting lung and brain and blood and fatigue issues on top of that ; ; ; ;#a a a a a i just. feel like crying a lot ; ; ; ;#i'm already behind ; ; ;#i should ; ; ; try to work more tonight before the inevitability of it all hits me tomorrow ; ; ; ; ;
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got the last five years runnin' out my mouth
always stay too late i should kick me out
[image description: 4 large images from 911 of Evan Buckley and Eddie Diaz with lyrics from the 5 seconds of summer song 'you don't go to parties'
image 1: from season 5 episode 13, taylor is sitting on her couch in buck's loft. blended over it is taylor with her hand pressed to buck's cheek with the words 'now it's 5am clinging to my couch'
image 2: from season 3 episode 1, buck and eddie pulling away from a hug surrounded by everyone with the words 'and everyone i ever knew is standing in my house'
image 3: from season 5 episode 10, buck looking sadly off to the side and eddie looking sadly straight ahead at buck with the words 'oh i wonder who i'm looking for'
image 4: from season 5 episode 11, buck laughing at a bar with hen, bobby, and lucy. blended over it is eddie looking at them sadly with the words 'cause you don't go to parties anymore'
/end ID]
#i've had this idea literally stuck in my head since the album released so#i hear the word couch and my brain starts shooting off sparks#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#bia.edit
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woe characters inspired by some of my cats be upon ye. info on them in my tags lol
#dialtown oc#jack dlc#twerpys head is a sledgehammer bc the cat theyre based on was born in a wall lmao#he works at the petstore with outis bc i got said cat frm the local petstore#lilys head is a fluffy couch pillow thing and she works at an animal shelter bc thats where i got the cat shes based on#twerpy is genderfluid bc we make jokes that my cat twerpy is genderfluid a lot#also i feel like shed be aroace if she were a person. its just the vibes yk#lily isnt labeled as anything shes just vibin#the 2 are part of a big sorta found family type shit that consists of chars based on my other 3 cats i just didnt feel like drawin more rn#twerpy is really mean and stuck up but is secretly super sweet it just takes them a long time to warm up enough to someone n show it#shes also secretly incredible at like. comforting people and helping them out. but again only shows it for people hes warmed up enough to#lily is super confident and full of herself and spoiled. she thinks shes super fuckin smart but she is very much Not /lh#she loves attention though and gets her feelings hurt super easy#also shes Huge on physical affection. she loves giving people hugs and holding hands and shit#like. shell be like oh im so fuckin hot and cool literally no ones on my level and of ur like eh idk that fit isnt really that good on u#she will start Crying. and get mad that youre being mean to her for no reason while sobbing#and probably will hug onto you while doing it#twerpy also gives really good hugs but they Hate being touched. so if it willingly touches you then youre incredibly lucky special#also lily loves sitting in peoples laps#if youre friends with her she is far more likely to sit on your lap instead of any chair in the room nd thats just smth youll have 2 deal w#dlc wiki
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#vent#ahhh my best friend has once again told me to move out and look at shelters hahahahahahaha#like fuck man there ISNT A SHELTER HERE.#the only one we have is only open a couple months in winter#and also a shelter is THE WORST OPTION#esp in utah#like if i move out i need 2 have like help i cant just do it on my own yknow#he did have a good idea abt a mental health professional being able 2 help me tho..#but then im 2 scared my mom will find out im going to therapy!!!#but i am going to look into it#bc like. i just cant do this anymore yknow#this place is killing me#like literally#both my mental and physical health are. very poor rn.#idk what 2 do idk. i am fuckin scared abt everything yknow#dissociation has gotten worse#i keep seeing things#heart is acting up#cant eat#keep having nightmares#mom wants me 2 give her $1.5k#my dog is super arthritic n im the only one who will do anything with her#which is making MY joints and body pain way worse#i am always sick n i always have the smell of mold stuck in my nose now#i cant even function man#i just lay on the couch all day sick and out of my mind n then i get screamed at for it#bc im the only one who cleans so if im not cleaning the house is fucked and so the house is fucked#i cant see a way out idk#nothing makes me happy and i feel like im dying again#my entire life is fucked
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so in the last week my fiancee has lost her job and also been offered a new job but uhhh. this job will not give her a paycheck before our rent payment is due, plus our internet and electric are both due before may 5th. if you guys could help me spread this i’d really appreciate it, it’s been a fucking rough few weeks.
my paypal and venmo are both @drgynsbaby if you can help at all, we need $358 before the 5th
#personal#mutual aid#she was supposed to be transferred and we were so excited bc she was working less than 20 hours a week in her department#and instead of doing that like they said they were gonna they fired her#+ our couch broke and i'm stuck in bed now bc of it#and we're behind on vet bills#the 358 is literally just our rent bc we can't live without that#i'm so frustrated i wanna tear my hair out
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I am. in agony!
#managed to drag myself out of bed after like 1.5-2h of rotting there#and now I’m stuck on the couch#have to get up tho bc I gotta go meet up for thesis/final paper/whatever you call a profielwerkstuk stuff#elli rambles#I feel like such a whiny little bitch this is like the fifteenth post I’ve made or rbed about it in the past two days but I am literally in#so much pain. like I genuinely have to fight tears every time I move my back#chronic pain tag#back hurty#vent
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GOD it fucking sucks I cant even cuddle my doggies or my mom rn :( I want hugs and cuddle piles so bad rn.
#My household had me growing up super physically affectionate and just affectionate in general#we say I love you to eachother thousands of fucking times a day#but my step mom abused and scared me out of being able to be physically affectionate with my dad as often#like hugs and lil leaning against him on the couch cuddles#cause when I was around 15 she started telling me I wanted to fuck my dad#because I thought other people with beards were attractive#and she straight uo fucking said those words to me#and I KNEW she was fucking crazy#but it made me feel weird and fucked up about wanting to hug and chill with my dad as often#and we have Manny the doggie here#but hes not anywhere near the same kind of cuddle buddy as the dogs with my mom#and he sleeps in my dad and step moms room#and my mom and other dogs are still stuck in Texas to keep an eye on my great grandmas brain health#My step mom also used to FREAK the fuck out when me and my little brother would cuddle#she told us it was gross and disturbing and would yell at us#when literally he’d be sitting on top of my lap like in a criss cross shape on a chair#like hed try to make me phsycally uncomfortable by sitting on my legs weird to hurt them#and I would refuse to budge so then wed just both zone out on our phones or tv while he was on my legs#and shed LOOSE IT#so in combo with her#and my ex from 8th grade#Im really reallt fucked up when it comes to being able to be physically affectionate and I am so deeply touch starved from kt#it*
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Plotlines about parents getting a divorce are so interesting to me because like. You think that’s bad? Try knowing that you’re parents WANT a divorce and the only reason they’re still together is because they can’t afford to be single in this economy
#you’re sad cuz your family is broken?#my family is broken and I still have to see it every day#It’s like being sad you’re chair is broken so you gotta get rid of it and get a new one#meanwhile my chair is broken and I still gotta fuxking use it#yeah It’s disappointing your parents don’t love each other and change sucks#believe me I know#but be grateful you get the chance to be happy#we’re stuck like this#my parents hate each other#if we had the money they would sleep in separate rooms#instead they work different shifts so they sleep at different times#and then my mom sleeps on the couch on weekends when my dad is home#they talk shit about each other constantly and then pretend to like each other to their faces#to try to pretend they’re still in love#but my dad fully admitted to me he would get a divorce if he could#and my mom says she regrets marrying him#so that’s fun#we’re literally living in the 1950s over here#except instead of societal expectations it’s being broke#meaning I also can’t leave
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okay i am hilarious for being the only kid to take up my moms threat of kicking us out as far as i know like cmon. cmonnnnnnnn.
#personal#not to brag but im bat shit. game plan was go missing for a week.#if this happened a day sooner i would have more than 5 bucks to my name#but not like missing for attention i was just kinda done with my whole family. not missing bc i also said ill still visit dad#but like seriously im still stuck like mom kicked me out and requested my phone what the fuck did anyone think would happen#like i did that and 'fucked off' the grid#thats not fucking off thats doing as i was asked. like oh yeah thats fucking crazy because it was a fucking crazy response to calling out#oh my god i made my argument for when i talk to my mom later#but anyway i am so funny for packing up most my stuff and couch surfing and going off the grid#in my defense alarming true feelings aside i did literally say im not gonna do anything#like i warned everyone hey im gonna be mia bc mom asked for the phone#anyway not a fun event and im pissed im spending my weekend doing this when i was just feeling unwell and wanted to sleep#this in fact the opposite of sleeping and resting#anyway when i talk to my mom later if nothing else its not all talk i guess?#i will most likely be talked into moving back in. my brother already started yesterday but im gonna talk to my mom about like#therapy maybe? but mainly emphasize that she shouldnt say thing she doesnt want#if you kick me out and take the phone shockingly that will will kick me out and no one will have anyway to contact me#if thats what you want thats fine. i have places i can stay and can get a phone plan#but if you want me to live here than dont do that. dont threaten it#i will leave and i will not come back#i dont want to turn this into a shit on my mom fest when i go talk to her but im a fucking adult women getting my moms equivalent of#grounding me for calling out with the hours. i have to negotiate hair cuts and get permission if i want another ear piercing#thats not fucking normal. at all. i pay my rent on time to her and have been doing nothing but helping with dad#almost all my work occurnaces are bc im helping with dad#like a few on me but most#i get shes going through it and she cant understand me calling out but that does not justify this at all.#like i would perfer to stay bc im a sicko but i cannot keep doing this. if she brings up the calling out im gonna tell her it#that it doesnt matte that i called out. frankly speaking. as long as i pay my rent thats all that should matter to her. and even without#that this issue isnt about me calling out this is about you kicking me out#those two? not comparable. in the least. in any world.
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istg if I have to hear another couple have sex like 5ft away from bc they think a closed door and music will block the sounds I'm gonna go insane
#I hate this whyyyyyy#I literally live on the couch rn u cannot hide sex sounds and I can't leave bc I'm fucking stuck in bed plssssss#I'm already sex repulsed please this ain't helping#have fun ig but OMG IM SITTING RIGHT HERE
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very bummed and sad because i saw a listing for a job that would be PERFECT for me..............if i was able-bodied enough to do it 🙃
#its for an arts program coordinator person and itd involve doing classes for kids-teens (and some adults)#and while teaching isnt endgame for me i still feel like i could be really happy doing this for a bit#they want someone with experience in a variety of media and like UHH i literally do mixed media professionally#BUT im actually doing WORSE physically lately#like ive had two instances of pre syncope while sitting down in a chair (my feet were PURPLE it was wild)#and im just...........so frustrated because i have more to offer and im stuck in bed/couch all the time#im just mad and sad about it all.
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finished my arc copy of big swiss and phew 🥵🥵🥵 overall it's a 9/10 for me (i didn't care for the ending too much but meh fanfic will fix that when it's officially out). however i did devour this book within like 26 hours which has not happened for me in years so take that for what it is
#it's honestly incredible funny/smart/interesting characters#there are scenes that phew i had to take a break to compose myself because i was having a fucking MOMENT#there's one specific line that god it's stuck with me because it has the same weight as two of my other fave lines in literature#listen...i am a sucker for gay lines that are simple in nature but hold so much weight in terms of the overall story/theme/romance#i absolutely cannot wait for the show though because god i am still processing jodie read this#and then said 'yes i will be producing this and staring in it thank you' because again i had a moment tonight reading it on break#literally almost fell off the breakroom couch from how much i was squealing#the actual epitome of laying on a bed kicking my feet and twirling my hair#i do however need them to give me the grand ol carol open-ended type of ending where it's heavily implied and shit#if not hbo writers just tweak the book a bit to make it be the exact way i want in the end xoxo#big swiss#emiie rambles
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I don’t get home until like 8pm tonight then I get to go straight into catching up on work reviewing 25+ assets like … I spent time with my mother but I didn’t get to relax a single moment how I wanted to this entire last week 🤪
#and now you’re telling me I have to go back to work#personal txt#i am SO SICK of hosting fucking asset reviews it’s such a remedial task and my manger and supervisor KNOW it#and they feel bad I’m still stuck with it#like me and the other coordinator are Full up at capacity#but there’s literally NOBODY else to take over them rn#we’re looking for a third coordinator rn to take on easier stuff so that me and my other sr coord#can actually do the work we WANT and need to be doing#I’ve been hosting ssset reviews for SEVERAL months literally EVERYDAY#i can’t talk about what goes into it but it’s such a tedious task bc we have to take screenshots and annotate and also Type feedback#and when there’s like 15-20 assets it literally can take four hours of MY work day that I don’t have#and then I end up having to push my ACTUAL tasks I like back and back and back#and I can’t just take a day off from reviews bc they’re CONSTANT AND CONSISTENT#like#us taking one day from reviews pushes os back then everything gets thrown off in terms of estimates and man days#I JUST FONT WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK#also I’ve been stuck sleeping on shitty hotel couches and my own couch this entire week to#too. so my mom could have all the beds#and also I hate sharing a bed with my mother I’m almost 30 it’s weird to me
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something about me is i prep seams and then just leave garments draped all over couches, pins absolutely unsupervised for hours or even days at a time
#and don’t we all just stick extra pins and needles into couch arm?#literally was at a friends house and was like oh bro here u had a needle stuck on the arm#and she was like lmao yah i was sewing there and forgot about that thx#sewing#craftblr
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