#look i'll watch it to the end of the season bc he might return but... unfortunately nothing else has grabbed me

[humanoidtyphoons]

turns out i'm there for lucifer morningstar and him alone. gdi.

[nalyra-dreaming]

It's funny how before Bailey left the show, I would've never said that I've watched it only for her (bc it's true, I appreciate every actor equally), and now when it's clear that she's not returning, I can't feel ANY excitement towards the upcoming season :( I think I've severely underestimated how attached I've become to her. Her departure left such a sour impression on me that I'm really considering ditching the show completely - the show that I've fallen in love with, to the point of obsession. I feel as if I'm a child and my candy was taken away - stupid and helpless. And it looks like all fans around me just accepted this change and moved on, while I still can't stop crying. Sorry for the rant, and I'll understand if you decide not to answer - it's not your responsibility to console fellow fans anyway, I just feel completely gutted and have noone to complain to about this whole situation :(

*hugs*

It is alright to mourn, and to mourn special actors, too?!

Bailey did a fantastic job.

But... Claudia was never to survive, of that I'm fairly certain (and her death is a big event, canonically), or else Louis would not have said that he "had a daughter".

So... I'm not sure how much this helps, or if anything... but maybe... Bailey is the Claudia that got to survive, as others have pointed out. Isn't that cool, in a way?^^

And maybe, when it happens, that will make it easier for you.

But, again, it's okay to mourn. It means that she, her portrayal of this character mean something to you. And that is something pure, something precious. Don't feel bad about that.

It will pass though. Time even mutes mourning, even though you never fully forget the pain. This is as true for this as for "real" deaths, as I can, unfortunately, confirm. We... go on.

So, I think... feel this. Embrace it. And then... let it go.

If you actually continue watching or not is not important here, though I think you might in the end :) But to embrace it and feel it and be aware of it... that is what makes us be alive.

*hugs*

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Okay wait I love this whole gardener batmom detail. Maybe you could write something about the stages of the garden? I can see her letting it kinda die off when she was mourning Jason and then the baby. Bruce almost crying seeing her slowly go back out there when she started to heal from it. Coming back after Damian and finding out Alfred (or even Bruce) kept up with it.

TEACHING FOOD INSECURE BABY JASON ALL ABOUT FOOD AND NUTRITION AND FOODS HES NEVER EVEN KNEW EXISTED THROUGH THE GARDEN BC HE GREW UP IN A FOOD DESERT!!!!!!

I could give a 50 slide PowerPoint on this topic. Thanks for a new obsession.

Jason looked out the window and frowned, "Hey, Alfie?"

"Yes?"

"What is she doing?" he said, pointing out to where you were tearing half-dead plants out of the ground and tossing them into a waiting wheelbarrow.

"Ah," he said, glancing out, "It appears Miss Y/N had deemed the growing season at an end- She's putting the Vegetable patch to bed and getting it ready for winter."

Jason frowned, "You don't do that?"

"Haven't for years," the butler chuckled, squeezing his shoulder and returning your wave when you noticed you were being watched. "I might do some weeding. And I'm happy to help her with the planting. But Miss Y/N is much better at all this than I am."

"Should I-"

"I'm sure she'd be happy for your assistance," he said smiling. "It's a rather tedious task."

_________

Bruce watched, amused as you explained to Jason about companion planting, pollinators, and composting. Lecturing patiently and answering questions as he helped you sketch out the plans for the garden this year.

"Cherries grow on trees?"

"Yes. And with some luck, my cherry trees, Strawberry bushes, and Apple Trees will all give us some fruit this year- Some of it we'll keep but most of it I'll have picked and given over to food banks."

Jason nodded seriously, considering that. He remembered eating from food banks. Everything was canned. He didn't think he'd ever eaten a cherry that wasn't in pie filling or a can of fruit cocktail.

"It's not much," you acknowledge, misunderstanding his silence "But"

Jason patted your hand and looked up at you, "People will like it anyway," he said confidently. "Like when we made the birthday cake kits. And the spices and stuff."

"Think so?" you hum, brushing an errant curl out of his eyes.

"Uh- huh," he said grinning as he looked back down, "Hey-"

"What Jaybird?"

"Shouldn't you put the corn over there?"

You look down at your plans and frown slightly, double-checking yourself and smile, "Good catch, dude."

___________

Alfred looked down at your desk. There was a finished garden plan with little addendums in Jason's handwriting. Things he wanted added- or removed. The boy had HATED carrots and so those were conspicuously absent. But in their place were radishes and sweet potatoes.

The air outside was getting warmer- time for you to move your seedlings. But you hadn't been able to even think about it. Without your faithful assistant to help you this year- your heart just wasn't in it. On a good day, you could shamble along. Going through the motions. But this- this was not that day. And there hadn't been a good day all week.

So he gently rolled up your meticulously drawn map and tucked it under his arm. You didn't have the strength to do it- not right now. But he'd be damned if he was going to let you feel like you let Jason down later when the fog cleared and you could feel anything other than pain.

Jason would understand- All of Gotham would understand, if he was being honest. There would still be apples and honey and berries- But Jason loved helping you do this. The donations and the starting little community gardens in empty lots.

The community gardens would still be seen to, thanks to your small army of intrepid volunteers and school children. But your Garden- your little safe haven wouldn't. Not this year. Not unless someone gave you a hand. And so, he headed to the greenhouse. He couldn't stop the pain- but at least he could do this.

He stopped at the door of the greenhouse, listening to the voices inside. Arguing in hushed tones and smiled a little. Evidently, he wasn't the only one that noticed the change in temperature and missed the smell of soil being turned over.

"Gentlemen," Alfred said, smiling a little when they both, Dick and Bruce turned, looking guilty, "I believe this has everything on it that we need."

Alfred didn't miss the flash of pain in Bruce's eyes as he noted the handwriting. "Everything?" Dick asked skeptically.

"Between this and the tricks Miss Y/N's taught me- I think we can make a good go of it," Alfred said nodding, unrolling the plans carefully and pinning them to the table.

"At least until she can do it herself," Bruce said nodding.

[traumxrei-archive]

Ah, I have found another Jamil lover- Hello ❤

So I was thinking- I usually can't stand those 'couple coupons' that usually come out for Valentines Day, but can you imagine giving some coupons to Jamil for his birthday? They are for a whole day of being Kalim-free. Like, if he's just too fed up one day, he can redeem a coupon and you'll babysit Kalim for the day instead of him! It can't be too hard, right? I feel like if you say no to Kalim he'll be okay with calming down or finding a more reasonable alternative. And he's so nice, he'd probably already consider you a friend even if you've only spent a small amount of time together.

It just sucks that Jamil probably wouldn't use them. He wouldn't risk pushing him off to someone else because if Kalim gets in trouble it'll still be Jamil getting blamed. But hopefully we can get through to him and show him we're responsible enough to be trusted!! And we'd have given him the coupons before confessing that we like-like him, and if he does use the 'coupons' and runs out, of course we'll tell him he can always ask that favor of us even without the physical coupons.

hello jamil lover anon !!

honestly this is so cute. like ;-; sir pls take a break. we love your hardworking side but also. *gestures towards a bed* rest.

before we start, i am dEFINITELY nOT a jamil simp, nope, would not kiss this guy for 0 dollars at all... /s but i can definitely imagine his reactions the first time you give the coupons to him-

"what are these?" jamil glanced down at the pieces of paper, giving them a cursory read. "kalim-free day coupon, exchange this coupon for one day without having to watch over kalim."

"it might seem kind of silly but," you fidget nervously with your fingers. "it's for when you're too stressed or busy with school, you can give it back to me and i'll take kalim off your hands for a day."

"that's...a very generous offer," he glanced up at you. "but as his retainer, i cannot possibly-"

"i know, i know..." you can't help but smile helplessly at his devotion to protecting his family's name. "even if you don't use them, i'd want you to have them all the same."

[ more rambling n simping below the cut ! ]

at first, he suspicious of your intentions with those coupons. but after getting to know you better, he knows that you truly did view him as a friend. i can imagine that he would keep those coupons close at all times. secretly he treasures them. he would look at them on the days when he's frustrated or tired; thinking about how you truly cared would give him just enough strength to go on with his day.

kalim knows about them bc he happened to see jamil holding on to it one day, and there are even days where he plays up his air-headed behavior just to see if he could finally get jamil to exchange it but...it never works. jamil has the patience of a seasoned mom of ten children, it's kinda hard to get him to give up sjdfksjf

he doesn't end up using the coupons in the end, only because he's too nervous to now. before it was about kalim's safety but after getting to know you better, he knows you couldn't hurt kalim. (and you guys were even friends! kalim liked you quite a bit, to jamil's dismay and ire)

but now ? now it was about the stuttering in his chest that was making it hard to greet you with a neutral face every single time he would pass you in the hall. now it was about how he couldn't help but pick out your voice in a room filled with others, and how he could spot you from even a glimpse of your hair. now it was about the hard tug in his chest that would happen whenever you'd have to go; the same feeling that told him he never wanted you to leave.

ohhhh imagine for your birthday it's him who approaches you first. you brighten up, seeing a paper in his hands thinking, "finally! it's better late than never!" before you notice something. it's a different paper. the coupons you made weren't written on yellow paper-

he hands it to you, "i am just merely returning the favor."

your eyes flit to him before going to the paper, jamil's elegant script reading:

spend a day with jamil coupon. exchange this coupon to spend a full day with jamil viper to yourself.

your brain blanked for a second, "wait a second... is this your way of asking me out?"

his facial expression doesn't betray anything except for that slight twitch to his mouth; a teasing tilt to his head, "you'd have to exchange the coupon to find out."

i'm literally dying from how cute that'd be i'm jskdfjskfjk <333 hello sir pls i'll take you out on a date so good and relaxing, i promise i'll get azul to baby sit kalim in exchange for my soul, dw about it sweetheart. i gotchu. the ONLY reason i'd do the cooking and the cleaning is if i was helping jamil with it bc mans has enough on his plate already-

oh right. i forgot the part where i was trying not to fall in love with this man more, i think i've done the complete opposite of that jskdjksf

i dug my own grave and carved out a casket made out of couple's coupons to match, and jamil's the one lowering my casket into the ground with his pretty-ass braids looking like an angel- rip trau, death by jamil simping.

ty for the chat jamil-simp anon, it was very fun to think abt <333 and for basically filling me with jamil feels- (also sorry this got so long i got carried away ! simp levels went haywire !)

[theghostofashton]

I saw you recently rb a puckurt post , so now I have to ask what your opinion is on their development through the seasons . They have such cute background moments and that scene where puck looks adoringly at kurt in heart just makes me want to see more dynamic

hi anon! thank you for the ask <3

puckurt is.....a bit of a mixed bag for me. some days i really love them, other days i'm a little iffy. but generally i tend to really like them, particularly as the dynamic starts to shift.

s1 and early s2 are what's hardest for me, given the way puck is bullying kurt, the things he says, etc, but i think toward the end of s2 and s3 is where things really shift. forgive the obnoxious klaine fan in me but i really do think a lot of it comes down to kurt meeting blaine and his time at dalton. that period of time was so healing for him and such a needed break from the stress at mckinley, and i think a byproduct of that is him being more open and willing to connect once he returns. he learned that the world isn't always such a terrible place, that people can be good and kind and want him for exactly who he is, and i think that really helps him. being away, he realizes how much he misses his friends and his old school, and i think there's a definite shift in how he approaches them bc of that, when he comes back. (might expand on this in a future post bc kurt when he leaves in 2x08 vs. when he comes back in 2x18 are. so different, honestly)

but i think this is a change puck notices, as well, bc there seems to be this shift from kurt being written off as the gay kid that doesn't really fit in to him being seen and taken seriously for who he is. they work together to stage that intervention for rachel in 2x18, they have that lil moment where they're cracking up in the background in 2x21, etc.

that moment in heart is so cute!! puck finally getting over the way he used to see kurt as the loser gay kid and possibly finding him....attractive? that's development, if i do say so myself. i'd also bring up 3x20, where he puts on the dress after hearing kurt refuse throughout the ep. i feel like the old puck wouldn't have thought twice about it, and even made fun of kurt not wanting to do it, and this gesture feels very no, fuck it, he's not going to do it and we shouldn't keep asking him to, i'll do it instead. (there's also a lot going on with puck in this ep that i think also factors in, but that's another post) it just feels like puck finally sees him as an equal and takes what he says seriously, if that makes sense? i think puck develops a deep respect for kurt and i can def see that blurring into attraction he might not even consciously be aware of.

one other thing i want to bring up is 5x03. their scene in that ep is....difficult, for obvious reasons, but i think it illustrates the culmination of kurt's development and puck's response. puck resorts to old shitty tactics reminiscent of the way he used to insult kurt, but kurt has grown up so much since then. he meets puck exactly where he is and gives it right back to him, dares him to behave the way he used to, and leaves puck kind of stunned? kurt's strength here is so striking. and i think that's really what i like most about puckurt, ultimately. i love watching puck, in particular, go from writing kurt off and being awful to him, to being kind of in awe of his strength and the way he carries himself. it says a lot about them both.