#loosely based on a funny stock photo

[undergrounddawniii]

A self-indulgent Gravity doodle 4 myself in these trying times.

Normal survivor horror friend stuff. :)

(pls don’t tag as a ship, thanks!)

[itsohh]

Boo

A/N: G/N reader, Halloween themed! I’m glad you have been enjoying it anon!

Day 14: Stockings

Word count: 1344

Warnings: NSFT, smut

AO3 Kinktober Masterlist

It hadn't been compulsory to come to the base Halloween party, for religious or personal preference. Yet, Harry encouraged everyone to come on the grounds that it would bring people together and act as a time for teams to socialise outside of the battlefield. Which is how Jordan found himself in a half-arsed Walter White costume talking to Miles who wore an impressive Blade costume with fake metal stakes and all.

Miles glanced over Jordan's shoulder and let out a laugh, his grin spreading across his face. Confused, Jordan turned to see a familiar pair of legs and Yumiko. There Yumiko stood in a picture-perfect mirror of Jordan's usual self. His eyes fell from the goggles on her face to the wraps around her hands. She laughed when she made eye contact with Jordan, a roll in his eyes. "Told you it would be funny." You whispered next to her as you approached. Jordan focused on your legs and squinted at you.

You could have sworn you saw his cheeks go a little red as he examined the stockings that covered your legs and hid down into the heels. "My eye are up here." You pointed to the black circles on the white sheet that made up the majority of your costume. There was almost a loon of relief on Jordan's face when he recognised your voice.

"Let me guess, sexy ghost and sexy chemist?" Miles joked as he held his drink. His laughter became an uproar when Jordan shot him a look, laughter which you and Yumiko joined in on.

“Hilarious as always Miles.” Jordan finally chuckled to himself, never one to bring the mood down.

“So my question is what took you two so long, I think you two are the last we have seen all night. Even Eliza came and left.”

“Shit really? Did she dress up?” You said from under the sheet, something that made it a little hard to take you seriously.

“As a cat, had this hat on with ears but that was the extent of it.” Miles explained.

“Awh, I can’t believe I missed it.”

“Elena took some photos earlier maybe she-” Jordan had barely finished his sentence as you rushed off to where Elena stood in the corner of the room.

“You really should have seen that coming. Anyway, the pair of us were trying to figure out the smallest hole they could fit through.” Yumiko spoke, her face and tone were completely neutral. Jordan saw little of you after that until eventually, he retired his way back to his dorm. The yellow suit was loosely clinging to him when he opened the door. However, you had managed to beat him to his room and now lay on his bed. With your phone in your hands, you lay on your front, legs swinging in the air. Without looking up your voice called out to the man.

“Hey Jordan, have fun?” The mask that lay around his neck was discarded.

“Yeah I did, I hope you did too boo-utiful.” You rolled your eyes under the sheet at his pun and rolled onto your back before you sat up, legs dangling off the side of his bed. “So what's with the ghost costume.”

“Don’t like it?”

“Oh I do, it shows off some of your best assets.” His eyes wandered from the bottom of your legs up to the top of your thighs where stockings finished with a ring of lace. “I can’t help but wonder what's under the sheet.” His eyes flickered up to where yours would be, only the black two circles.

“What I was wearing at the time is over there.” You pointed to the chair by his desk, one that had a white shirt and shorts on it. A few seconds ticked and Jordan realised what that meant.

“Fuck.” He let out a groan as his mind wandered, imagination getting the best of him. “Baby, oh god.” He practically dropped to his knees in front of you, hands on your ankle. You lift your left leg in the air for easier access and he ran his hand up and down the fabric. Kisses trailed up on the inside of your leg until he reached the top and his eyes flashed up. He snapped the top of the stocking causing you to make a light jump and used the opportunity to snatch the sheet away from your body.

He practically froze when the sheet was thrown to the floor, your body completely naked. “You alright there Mr White?” This managed to snap him out of the dazed state, a smirk on your face. Your free leg raised and you planted your heel in the middle of his chest. With a push, you forced him to let go of you. He fell back and looked up at you with a lustful gaze. A laugh left your lips and you cross your ankles innocently. “Strip.” Came your command and Jordan rushed to obey it, his shirt was flung off and he practically ripped the costume off himself. There in front of you, he stood, cock  red with arousal, eyes glued on you.

As a reward, you threw the frog dispenser up at him which he promptly caught with ease. He practically groaned as he spread the lube over his cock. With both hands, he ran them up the fabric on your legs, a tight grip to prevent you from moving. With a sudden yank, he pulled you further down the bed and shut your legs so they were hard-pressed together. Was he going to…? The thought on your mind was pushed away as he pushed his cock between your thigh, the lubrication making it slide in between them with ease. His dick brushed against your pelvis and he let out a grunt when he started to fuck your thighs.

Jordan's eyes fluttered closed as he gript you tight, his cock rubbing down against you and his tip would just peak out with every thrust. “Having fun there?” Your voice was far more lustful than you had intended. His eye peeked open, voice breathless.

“You have no idea. You're such a pretty fucking sight.”

“Is that why your eyes were closed?” You teased, your body moving back and forwards on his bed while he continued.

“You, nh, got me there. What can I say your pretty overwhelming.” Your hand snaked down and managed to graze your fingers around the tip of his cock when it poked through your thighs. Yet it slipped through your grasp and Jordan swore out at the contact. Your fingers moved to the side of your legs, lightly playing with the fabric, knowing fully well that Jordan was watching you the entire time. He used one arm to hold both your legs and the free one joined ones of yours before he planted his hand firmly against it and gave it a hard squeeze. His hand stayed there as his pace quickened, his end coming near.

“I swear I feel like I’m a goddamn teenager again with you.” He breathed out, face scrunched up. “Oh fuck.” He started to chant out, mixed with praises of your name. With one final thrust, he buried his cock between your thighs and his cum shot out, coating your stomach and chest.  Some managed to hit you in the chin, narrowly missing your face. The hot liquid warmed your skin and he eventually let your legs go, free to fall down again, the heels briefing knocking against each other as you regain control over your legs. Jordan panted out long breaths and he ran a hand through his hair, eventually looking up at your smug expression.

“I hope you not calling it a night Jordan.” Your tongue ran over your teeth as you wriggled back on the bed, now in a comfortable lazy position. In response he squinted his eyes and started to crawl over your body, his cum brushing against his bare body.

“Oh trust me, baby, I won’t be done with you for a while.”

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

not allowed iv, m | jjk, myg

pairing(s): est. poly relationship – jungkook x reader x yoongi

summary: Your boyfriends woke up and chose violence. Excuse me, Jeon Jungkook, Min Yoongi? Do you really think you can post one after another on Twitter, send the world into heart palpitations, and not expect your girlfriend to do something about it? Hmm?!

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; mentions of the pandemic; reader and Yoongi have giant heart eyes whenever they see each other; feels and fluff; smut (fem reader, dirty talk, nipple play, f and m-receiving oral, fingering, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, m-masturbation, double penetration/spit roasting); idol!BTS

that’s right JK posted his blue hair and i absolutely lost it part of ‘not allowed’ series, but can be read alone. basic summary: your boyfriend asked JJK to fuck you, then again, and then they decided to make this a thing; based on real time.

--

Your boyfriends woke up today and chose violence.

Everything was fine. You were on your lunch break, sitting in your kitchen, knowing you would have to get back to work soon. A quick meal and scrub of the dishes left you with you a few minutes to check your phone. You didn’t get many messages throughout the day and you preferred it that way. You took a moment to scroll through social media.

Only to choke a little seeing Jeon Jungkook, the Golden Maknae of BTS, reveal his dark blue locks to the world in the middle of the damn day. Did you almost drop your phone? Yes. Did you not because it was the special edition BTS S20+? Also, yes. The TinyTan SUGA phone case would have protected it anyway, but… still.

You placed your phone aside and went back to your computer, ready to attend work again.

Not quite composed, but it was just a picture, just a picture, just a picture…

Except you knew what Jungkook looked like naked and that wasn’t helping.

Three hours later, you snuck a glance at your phone only to be attacked by the cutest human being in the world, Min Yoongi, SUGA of BTS, sometimes Agust D, all the time lil meow meow because, holy shit, why the fuck was this man so cute? Those damn cheeks. Those eyes. Fuck, you loved his eye shape. And his pretty lips. Damnnit, why couldn’t you kiss him right now?

They’re trying to kill you and ARMY all at once. 

You’re convinced.

You rubbed your temples and took a deep breath.

It is only a coincidence. It doesn’t involve you. They’re only being their usual adorable, attractive selves and giving a gift to the fans. You weren’t delusional. It was their job to do things like this. You knew this and you were used to it. You’ve seen Yoongi say all kinds of things in V-LIVEs and you always thought it was funny. Lately, he hadn’t been responding to them much though. As for Jungkook, well.

Everyone in the world wanted Jungkook, including you, so could you blame the world? No.

Jungkook tried to tell you before that he was shy and you recalled all those see-through shirts he’d worn on stage. All those ab reveals. Hmm, you weren’t fooled.

“I wanted to make sure you were looking at me, noona,” Jungkook had teased you, hooking his arms around your waist. “I had to get your attention somehow.”

Yeah, yeah, your attention and millions of other people.

It made you laugh, until he became your boyfriend, and now it made you choke on air like every other human being who saw him looking that good. Before you had the safety of giving your full attention to Yoongi. Yoongi had always been your priority and you wanted to make sure he felt that way.

Little by little.

Jungkook grew up.

And became harder and harder to ignore.

Even more difficult when Yoongi gave him the apartment key and told him to fuck you in his stead.

You heard your phone ping. You checked your messages, saving your work in the process.

That will teach you to post such sexy pictures.

You twitched. Excuse me? What was Jungkook talking about? Your personal, private Instagram was for expressing your – sometimes eccentric – fashion sense. Was he referring to the images you posted for Valentine’s Day, the ones with the white vinyl coat, red stockings, and sky-high red heels? Hmph. You couldn’t even see your face in those. Actually, you deliberately cut off most of your face in all of your pictures. The most you showed were your lips, always painted to match your outfit. You didn’t want anyone to recognize you, even by happenstance.

Made taking pictures much easier, since you never had to do eye makeup or worry about accidentally making ugly faces.

It was private now, but it wasn’t before, and the only reason you privated it was because you started dating Yoongi. You still wanted it use it as an outlet though, so you left it as is, with your follower count unchanging. It wasn’t that many people to begin with and you were pretty sure a lot of the accounts were bots.

In any case, sometimes you felt like being creative and dressing up, thus you did so on Instagram. You couldn’t dress like that when you went to visit Yoongi. Ah, and now Jungkook too. To be honest, you loved fashion and trying on different looks, but it wasn’t possible unless you were alone. And you were alone a lot, with no one but strangers to appreciate (or be confused by) it.

Might as well take a picture, right?

And if you could tease Yoongi a little, at least from a distance, that was even better.

You forgot Jungkook also followed you now though. 

Dammit. 

Had the photos been sexy? Sure. Provocative, lots of leg, almost a peek of ass but not quite. Red lips to stand out against the white. If the coat was black, it would have been more traditionally fetishist, but that's why you had picked shiny white vinyl. Brighter for the cute holiday. 

Who are you kidding? You wore it to provoke Yoongi.

He texted you after you posted it. Usually, he said things along the lines of, pretty, cute, you look crazy, I like it. Only sometimes did he say...

what the fuck

You had asked him if he liked your post today. 

I'm not trying to pop a boner in the middle of practice, control yourself woman.

Maybe don't post such cute selfies then, you had thought. Then your phone pinged again. 

Send a picture with the coat open. Jungkook wants to see. 

Oh, so now that the maknae was involved, he was going to pin things on the younger one. Two can play at this game. You sent the photo to Jungkook first. You knew that if the situation was reversed, Yoongi would have done the same. Jungkook's reaction had been hilarious.

Noona?! WHAT???

And then a slew of head exploding emojis.

Yoongi had been agitated until you finally sent him the picture too. It had been a fun incident.

Until your boyfriends woke up today and chose violence.

Dammit. 

You stared at blue-haired Jungkook and 'Blue and Grey' Yoongi from the MTV Unplugged performance. 

This just wasn’t allowed. 

-

This visit had a purpose, but then you saw Min Yoongi standing in the hallway waiting for you, wearing an olive-green shirt, hands in the pockets of his black sweatpants, small smile on his lips. Purring your name lovingly after you closed the door, and you realized you missed him so very much, his lovely dark brown eyes and dark hair, and then you were suddenly in his arms and he was hugging you. 

With both arms. 

Yoongi was recovering well and he still couldn't do strenuous activity yet, but he was hugging you with both arms and you wanted to cry because it was so nice to have them both around you. You could've been cool and collected, yet somehow both you and Yoongi had the same idea to first hug and breathe in each other, his fresh, woodsy scent strongly invading your nose and his soft cheek against yours.

"You smell different."

"Do you like it?" you mumbled into his neck, kissing it lightly. 

"Mhm."

You thought it had worn off by now, but the new perfume you had purchased lingered far longer than you imagined, clinging to your hair. Warm spiced sweetness with a hint of sharp smoke. Yoongi inhaled deeply beside you.

"You should wear more perfume," he murmured, hands kneading your waist.

"Someone might notice."

"Nah, your taste similar enough to mine."

He was taking off your coat and you were stepping out of your shoes, being pulled deeper into the apartment, and now his kisses were yours, soft and light, every one saying, I missed you, I want you, I love you. There no need for words when it was Min Yoongi. Fingers tapping down your waist, pulling your oversized black shirt up and over your head. 

"Excuse me?"

You pooped your head out to see Yoongi staring at your chest, jaw dropped and eyes wide. Oh, right. You had been so occupied with hugs and kisses that you almost forgot. Your shirt fluttered to the floor, forgotten.

You smirked. 

"Surprise."

Yoongi made a face at you. Somewhere between angry, aroused, and shock. Good. Serves you right for posting such a cute selfie.

The front door opened. 

Both of you instantly moved, you sliding behind him and into the bedroom, Yoongi standing in front of you, masking your frame. The discarded shirt and jacket could be explained away – that's why you wore oversized men's clothes, usually in Yoongi's preferred color palette.

"Hyung?"

Oh, whew. Actually, wait. No, this was danger. 

"Ah, Jungkookie."

Yoongi placed his hand on your arm and you popped your head over the corner once you heard the door close. Yup. A swift shake of dark blue locks, white sweatshirt and loose black sweatpants, and that mischievous smirk with a wrinkle of his nose. 

Danger.

"Hey, noona!"

Damnnit, planning for two is hard! You couldn't just go put your shirt on and do the grand reveal again. Yoongi grasped your upper arm with his right hand and yanked you from the doorframe. You squeaked, body stumbling into Jungkook’s view.

"Did you plan this?" Yoongi asked with a cocked brow. 

Jungkook's eyes went wide. 

"Uh... no, but I like where this is going," Jungkook replied, smirk growing. 

The black lace bra stood out against your skin, strappy and elegant, molding to the swells of your breasts and the curve downward to your waist, matching the garter belt that disappeared into the black jeans you were wearing. You didn't usually wear lingerie. It wasn't practical and if you accidentally left something behind... it wasn't worth the risk. Yoongi and you took every precaution to not fuck this up. 

Therefore, you only wore lingerie on your private Instagram. 

Only showing little flashes, never the whole picture. And, really, you wore it in your photos to mess with them. It made you feel nice too, so it was a win-win. This set was familiar to Yoongi and Jungkook because you had worn the red version in the original Valentine’s Day themed photos. 

Again, you didn't usually wear lingerie, but Jungkook and Yoongi couldn't just post pictures on Twitter back-to-back, two-shot you, and not expect a damn reaction. That kind of shit wasn't tolerated! On top of all that, you had to wait and get properly tested before getting here. This pandemic extended your frustrations. So, yes, fuck it, you wore the damn lingerie that made you feel the sexiest. Even if your jeans were still on, you knew you looked good. 

No one had to tell you. You checked in the mirror before you left. 

"Is this your response to my text a couple days ago?" Jungkook teased, kicking off his shoes and bounding over to you two. His dark blue hair shimmered in the light, like a night sky covered with stars, smile pure and naughty at the same time, lighting up his whole face. 

Fuck you for being hot, Jeon Jungkook!

You leaned back against Yoongi, crossing your arms under your breasts, pressing them together. Jungkook grinned, the mole underneath his lower lip winking at you. 

"Something like that," you coolly replied. Shit, there was an edge to your voice. Hopefully neither Yoongi or Jungkook picked that up.

"Hmm..." 

Jungkook pursed his lips, the tip of his pink tongue sticking out the side. Ack. You had to look away. You turned and bumped your lace-covered tits against Yoongi's chest. His dark brown orbs flickered to your breasts, sly smile on his lips. 

"This is your fault too, by the way."

Yoongi raised his eyebrows, amused. "What do you mean?"

You dropped your hands, surveying him suspiciously. "You think I don't know? Posting right after Jungkook? That's not allowed! You know what that does to me."

Yoongi leaned forward. Your breath caught in your throat, heart beating fast all of a sudden. You backed up, right into Jungkook's chest. Uh oh. Yoongi hummed, black hair shadowing his face, devious sparkle in those dangerous eyes, his voice a raspy, purring drawl. 

"What does it do to you?"

Your hand fell back to brace yourself and Jungkook's fingers wrapped around your wrist, stroking your skin. You felt him shift behind you and then his lips were on your ear, whispering in his silvery voice. 

"Yeah, noona. Tell us.” His grip on your wrist tightened, squeezing lightly, asserting his presence behind you. “Or you can show us."

...

!!!

How dare they tag team you? First, they visually attack you – and millions of other ARMY – in the middle of the workday, and now this, Yoongi closing in, kissing you once more, deeper, hungrier, with dark intent, smirking against your lips as Jungkook took both your hands, ghosting his long fingers over yours. You whimpered into Yoongi's mouth, body tensing, Jungkook pressing himself into your back, breath against your hair. 

"You smell different," he murmured.

You couldn't reply. Yoongi was sucking on your tongue, making you whine. 

"Warm, sweet, and spicy."

Yoongi released you and you gasped for air, bucking into Jungkook's crotch. "I bought it last week... thought it smelled nice..."

Jungkook nuzzled your hair. "I like it. Makes me horny."

You laughed a little, turning your hands around in his to lace your fingers together. He held your hands firmly, grinding his crotch into your ass. You could already feel his arousal through your jeans.

"Sounds dangerous," you mused. 

"It is," Yoongi chuckled. "But you should keep wearing it anyway. You smell good."

Heat rose to your cheeks. Then you realized your jeans were already undone, being daintily pushed down by deft hands and an amused expression, Yoongi crouching to pull them along. Bit by bit, revealing the matching garter belt, the high-cut black lace panties that framed your thighs, and lace-topped sheer stockings, all the straps emphasizing your softness, sinking into your thighs and ass.

"Fuck..." Yoongi breathed, running his fingertips over the delicate fabric, touch so light against your skin, dancing up your knee. "You're so fucking beautiful."

He looked up at you, eyes so dark they seemed black, playful smirk on those perfect pink lips. Thump. You felt Jungkook pull your arms back and press them to his sides. You grabbed fistfuls of Jungkook’s shirt, staring down at Yoongi advancing between your legs, his smirk growing wider and more teasing, lovely voice low and husky, deep with arousal.

"What's the matter?" Yoongi purred. "Cat got your tongue?"

Your body tensed in anticipation, Jungkook's hands crawling around your sides, one tattooed, one not, fingers hovering over your now trembling chest. Looking down at Yoongi's smug expression, tongue flicking out and teasing you. Reminding you how good he was and how long you'd been waiting. 

Fuck you for being hot, Min Yoongi!

"Don't overexert yourself..." you breathed.

A sculpted brow lifted. 

"I have help now," he reminded you and Jungkook's hands sank into your barely-covered breasts. 

"Fuck..." Jungkook hissed into your ear, running his palms over your nipples, listening to your gasps as Yoongi dived between your thighs, hot tongue sliding against the lace. "Missed these tits so fucking much." His lips on your ear, growling your name, that dominant edge to his silvery voice, tweaking the hardened nubs while Yoongi teased your clothed clit with his tongue, the lace hardly a barrier but still an effective one, the rough threads plucking against your sensitive nerves.

How long had it been? So long, almost forever since Yoongi’s tongue was on you, soft and fast and the perfect pressure, deliberately teasing you and not moving the fabric aside, so close yet so far. If it wasn’t Yoongi, maybe you could tell him to move it, maybe you could beg, but you couldn’t speak because of Yoongi’s tongue and Jungkook’s rough touch, his hands on your breasts, pushing them together, your nipples poking tiny tents in the black lace, running his fingertips over them over and over, his hips grinding into your ass. Yoongi cupped one of your ass cheeks and spread them, your panties bunching in the center, Jungkook’s hardness slipping in, still covered by his sweatpants.

Wetter, hotter, sanity slipping little by little.

“Y-Yoongi… J-Jungkook…”

You tried not to shove your hips in Yoongi’s face, not wanting to strain his neck, and ended up pushing back instead, bouncing against Jungkook’s cock. The younger man snickered, nipping at your ear, pinching your nipples, and you felt a slick squelch as Yoongi’s tongue pushed the lace into your dripping pussy. The moans dragged out of your throat, eyelids fluttering, letting them do whatever they wanted, pleasure flooding all your senses, watching Yoongi wreck you, clutching Jungkook’s sweatshirt, panting their names, leaking more and more, the scent of your juices getting stronger and sweeter.

“This isn’t fair…” you panted. “I’m going c-crazy…”

Yoongi hummed on your clit and you cried out, hips rocking, so good, head tipping onto Jungkook’s broad shoulder, his long blue hair brushing against your cheek and eyelashes.

“Good, because you make us crazy,” Jungkook muttered, pushing your breasts together and squeezing them roughly. His voice was so deep you could feel your back vibrate with his words. His other hand came up and gripped your chin, trailing down and fitting around your neck, the loose sleeve falling and revealing his forearm tattoos, contrasting your lace-covered skin. “Always looking so fucking pretty and making me want to fuck you…”

His index finger came up and pressed against your lower lip. Those chocolatey eyes were watching your face from his peripheral vision, smirking as he witnessed your expression.

“Even showing off these sexy, fuckable lips. That’s not fair either, noona.”

“T-That’s not…”

Jungkook’s hand at your throat dropped and you yelped, his large palm fitting around your right thigh and lifting it up, fingers sinking in. Stockings, lace, garter, Jungkook’s touch, holding your leg up and out, giving Yoongi a perfect view of your glistening core. Then there was more, too much more, Yoongi pushing aside your panties, soaked fabric snapping against the inside of your thigh and then his mouth was directly on you, oh, fuck, his tongue on your throbbing clit, lips wrapped around it, pure suffocating ecstasy, your slick juices dripping down his chin, so easy, it was just too easy for Yoongi to make you feel so fucking good and he looked so sexy doing it too, those cat-like eyes piercing into you, ordering you to cum for him, to spill all over his beautiful face.

“Yoongi… fuck, your tongue is so fucking good–”

Your body rippled with pleasure and you flung your head to the side, away from Jungkook’s ear to moan far too loud, filling up the entire hallway, wanton and lewd, absolutely pornographic and sinful in nature, orgasm gushing into Yoongi’s waiting mouth, shuddering against Jungkook’s hard body. So many sensations, too many sensations. Yoongi sank his nails into your ass, growling as he sucked out your cum and drank it, Jungkook grinding his stiff length in between your ass cheeks, spreading your leg so far that your left one was quivering with strain, tits squashed in Jungkook’s left hand, his warm tongue on your ear, whispering darkly. Dirty, sensual, and your pussy couldn’t stop throbbing, Min Yoongi’s mouth and Jeon Jungkook’s low octave driving you insane.

“You look so fucking good, noona. Your body is so fucking perfect, so sexy wrapped up in lace,” he exhaled, sliding his palm over your nipples roughly, earning more depraved moans. He lowered your leg, slowly, Yoongi lapping at your clit, sending shocks of pleasure up your torso as he cleaned you off. Jungkook’s hand slid down over your stomach, flicking the straps against your skin, small snaps of pain that made you gasp, trapped in Jungkook’s power, letting him take over you. He took a step back, forcing you to arch your spine and look up at him, a curtain of cobalt surrounding that handsome face and those intense brown eyes.

No one could make you feel the way Yoongi made you feel. No one.

So...

Why did staring up at Jungkook like this do things to you? Why did it put your heart on a string and tension in your throat? Get it together. You weren't a teenager. Ask for what you want. He was just so insanely attractive in every way.

Jungkook smirked and you wanted him to ruin you. 

He lifted you up easily. You saw Yoongi standing up and wiping his chin, self-satisfied and amused. He tilted his head and plucked one of the straps on your stomach, a light, erotic sting. Yoongi made eye contact with you, locking you in his gaze. A single look, and your heart was fluttering, immediately smitten. One by one, fingers wrapping around a few of the straps and pulling you to him, backing up, leading you to the bed by own your lingerie. 

"Why today?" Yoongi drawled, tracing the curve of the bra cup, sending shivers over your skin. "Feeling risky?"

You raised a brow, focusing on him, trapped in those cat-like eyes. 

"Control yourself. Aren't you used to this body by now?"

Yoongi grinned devilishly, darting closer, leaving you breathless in his speed. The scent of his cologne and your orgasm lingered on his skin, a delicious combination. 

"Never."

Kissing you, taking your startled inhale, and you could taste yourself, fuck, just something about his skilled lips and your taste had your fingers twisting into Yoongi's shirt, rolling your body into his, still being so careful, but it was so hard because he was making it so hard, teasing you with that deft tongue, bursts of pleasure with every heartbeat you had while captured in Yoongi's lips. You missed it, this intensity, the overwhelming feeling that Yoongi gave you, being able to give in to the want, but you still couldn't give in without abandon, but you were so close. 

So close. 

Ruin me. 

He pushed you lightly and you felt another pair of arms wrap around you, the kiss suddenly broken, but the second touch was familiar now, one tattooed arm, one not, and you knew that if you fell, these arms could catch you.

Jungkook put you in his lap, your back touching his bare chest. Oh, shit. Before you could think much about it, he turned you so you were laying in his arms princess-style. He must have removed his sweatshirt while you were talking to Yoongi, but he still wearing his pants, now sitting in the side of the bed, blue hair messy from your hands and the removal of his clothes. Your arms hooked around his neck instinctively, not wanting to fall, but he had his right hand splayed across your shoulder blades, holding you up securely. 

"Mmm, this is nice," Jungkook murmured, playfully smiling. He nuzzled your nose, tongue flicking over your lips. "Why did you make us wait so long, hm?"

You frowned, breath against his chin. "The number of cases got higher... and you all were so busy... I couldn't get tested until recently."

Jungkook made a disgruntled noise. 

"Hey, public health and safety is important."

He pouted at you. "But..."

"He's horny and wants to fuck," Yoongi cut in.

"Hyung…!"

Yoongi pulled up his chair and sat down, looking amused. 

"He's been jacking off to your pictures."

"N-no, I haven't!"

"Really? I have."

Yoongi's face was completely neutral. It was hard to tell if he was lying or not. 

Jungkook tried to hide his flushed face with your hair. "... M-Maybe I h-have..."

"Tsk, tsk, naughty Jungkookie," you teased.

"Noona..."

"And you?"

You felt Yoongi grasp your chin, tipping you back in Jungkook's arms. Some of your hair fell over your eyes, hazing your vision of Yoongi. Even so, his intent was obvious. You could feel it in his gaze, the burning hunger, his fingertips caressing your chin, leaning forward slightly to observe you. 

I want to ruin you. 

Yoongi didn't have to say it. You knew it, pierced by the predatory glint in his eyes. You could tell he missed this, could tell that he wanted to give in to his desires, wanted to lose control, only limited by his own physical body.

However. 

He pressed his thumb into your lower lip, lifting a brow. 

Jungkook was here now.

Yoongi gave you his trademark open-mouthed smirk. 

"Ruin me," you whispered, staring into those cat-like dark brown eyes. The recognition was instant, pleased that you knew what he wanted. You shifted your attention to the maknae, his chocolate eyes wide, watching your tongue slide out and licking Yoongi's thumb. "Ruin me, Jungkook."

You loved the way Jungkook could turn from blushing anxiousness to sly confidence, and all it took was your words and the way you said them, enabling him in the best way possible. The dark blue hair helped accented the shift in demeanor, creating cool-toned shadows over his lightly tanned skin. 

"Anything for you," Jungkook purred.

You gasped sharply as you felt two fingers slide into you, Jungkook’s thumb rubbing your overstimulated clit. Your body jerked, trying to get away, but Yoongi's hand on your chin slid down, pressing on your chest, holding you still, your name a dangerous rasp from Yoongi's lips.

"Stay still."

Your eyes flickered down. Right hand. Okay. You shouldn’t be worried anymore, but you were. It was habit.

"Yoon–ah!"

You gasped, left arm firmly behind Jungkook's shoulders and the other behind you, your hand on the bed to steady your balance as Yoongi shoved the bra cups down, exposing your breasts. He lowered his head, the contact of his lips on your hot skin paired with Jungkook's thrust of his fingers into your pussy. Instant waves of pleasure overtook you, fingers sinking into the sheets and Jungkook’s hair, fuck, his beautiful navy hair standing out against your skin and, for some reason, seeing that made you feel prettier, thrusting your chest in Yoongi’s face to get more into his mouth, spreading your legs wide to give Jungkook more access.

Only a brief moment of, I should know better, I shouldn’t be doing this, and then Yoongi’s eyes were on you, tongue flicking your red nipple.

Let go.

Was this even fair to them? Could you satisfy both? Could you and should you? But Yoongi’s eyes were telling you to let go, to chase the feeling, to give in, and hunt the desperation and the want. They wanted you. There was nothing like this and there will never be anything like this again.

“Give it to me,” Yoongi growled.

You whined sharply as you felt two more fingers push into you, but not Jungkook’s fingers, Yoongi’s fingers, his thumb joining Jungkook’s on your clit and your eyes rolled back, so wet and aroused from knowing both Jungkook’s and Yoongi’s fingers were thrusting into you, four in total, your pussy sucking them in, back arching as Yoongi sucked on your nipple. So much pleasure, rapidly ascending higher and higher, so fucking full and tight that their fingers were making sloppy smacking sounds, matching rhythm so they filled you completely together, all at once.

You couldn’t stop your hips from meeting them, fingers spreading out in Jungkook’s hair and the sheets as you came hard, gasping their names, euphoria soaring through your nerves, and still they didn’t stop even though your pussy was violently spasming, creating a messy splatter of your juices on the inside of your thighs and their hands. Instead, the pace changed, Yoongi switching sides on your chest, and then you really couldn’t think, because Jungkook was lowering his head too, and now both of your nipples were getting abused, Jungkook’s arm firmly under your upper back to hold you up, not letting you fall.

“Yoongi, Jungkook… p-please, oh fuck!”

Your other hand flew up and buried in Yoongi’s dark locks, both hands in their hair now, one blue, one black, another orgasm crashing down, moan torn from your chest. And they kept going, changing the pace again, your toes and fingers curling, every muscle tense with irresistible, consuming ecstasy that you almost felt a little numb, unable to compute anything else but your body scantily covered in lace, two mouths sucking on your nipples, four fingers stuffed into you, clit engorged and sending violent shocks throughout your system. You couldn’t even discern one orgasm from another, pussy continuously throbbing and convulsing with the continuous, chained orgasms, so wet that it was soaking the tops of your stockings, the sweet honey of your cum the predominant scent in the room.

“I… I-I can’t take a-anymore, please…”

Your legs threatened to close but Yoongi snapped his head up, snarling your name dangerously.

“One more,” he ordered. “Give us one more.”

“Your pussy feels so good,” Jungkook panted, saliva dripping down your chest. “I love it so fucking much, even when it’s around my fingers.”

You were trying to hold back, trying to control it, tensing everything, your core, your legs, your arms, and you didn’t even realize it, but you held your breath too, biting your lip and seeing Yoongi and Jungkook at the same time, both watching you, fingers punishingly squelching into your tight little hole, stretching it out unforgivingly, abused clit pulsating so hard it almost hurt, and it was exactly what you wanted, brimming, boiling pleasure that threatened you on the brink, closer, closer, closer, and the world was almost hazy with how ferociously you had constricted the coil.

“Fuck!”

You threw your head back, back abruptly arching and smacking them in the face with your tits as everything came plummeting down, resolve cracking with a wanton howl, orgasm racking through your entire frame so hard that your body lurched and flinched, Yoongi and Jungkook cradling you while you rode your high, grinding your hips into their hands and carnally moaning, liquid gushing out and dripping down your legs, your ass, down Jungkook’s sweatpants and onto the bed.

It was such an intense orgasm that you were lightheaded, hands slipping out of their hair and falling down, drained, aftershocks causing your body to shudder, even as they removed their fingers. Your clit was still throbbing, pumps of pleasure spreading through you.

It was obscene witnessing Yoongi and Jungkook cleaning their fingers off right in front of you, pink tongues sliding between the digits, licking off your viscous cum, giving you a perverse sense of satisfaction when Yoongi moaned softly and Jungkook groaned lowly, savoring your taste like a fine wine. Yoongi spied your exhausted, smug expression.

“Do you think you’re done?”

You gave him a weak smirk. “I better not be.”

“Sit in Jungkook’s lap,” Yoongi said calmly. “Face me.”

You tilted your head curiously but did as you were told, shifting your still quivering legs so your thighs were on the outside of Jungkook’s thighs, the balance a little difficult, but Yoongi took your hands and placed them around his hips. You held onto him as he lifted his shirt, pulling it over his head.

“Jungkook, rip her panties off.”

Wait, what did Min Yoongi just s–?

Two strong hands dug out the lace trapped in your ass and fastened around the thin fabric.

Riiiiiiip!

“Yoongi!”

The shirt fluffed his black hair as he removed it, dropping it onto his chair. You glared at him as Yoongi looked down at you, expression blank, dark brown orbs full of mischief.

“You knew it was going to happen. If he wasn’t going to rip it, I was.” Yoongi placed his right hand on his left shoulder. His tone dropped, mockingly rueful. “You wouldn’t want me to hurt myself, right?”

Yeah, this was why you didn’t wear lingerie.

But, also, this was why you wore it today.

You felt Jungkook tugging off the now useless pair of panties, plucking them out from under your garter belt. Oh well. You liked the red more anyway. That’s why you had bought two sets, after all.

“Remind me to take all the bits before I go,” you grumbled.

“Sure, noona.” Jungkook dangled the said lacy bits next to your head. You narrowed your eyes and mouth into slits even though he couldn’t see. “I’ll put them in my pocket.” You felt him shove them into his sweatpants.

Were you… going to remember?

Yoongi beckoned you. You shot him a warning look, still annoyed, but Yoongi pointed down to your hands on his hips.

“Isn’t there something you want?” Yoongi mused in that raspy, dark tone, the one that made your irritation fade instantly and replace it with arousal. “Take it.”

He cocked his head, shading his dark eyes with his hair, pink lips parting, the slightest hint of a smirk. Challenging you. Go on. Show me how much you want me. Your body still buzzed with the aftermath of moments before and yet you still lowered your head, sliding your hips back, sucking in a breath as your puffy pussy lips touched Jungkook’s toned chest, smearing yourself on his skin.

“Ooh, I like this,” Jungkook murmured, leaning back a little to give you space. You rocked your hips into his torso, his muscles flexing under you opening, inflamed clit brushing against his hardness. You pushed Yoongi’s pants and underwear down, dipping your head, hearing Yoongi breathe your name lustfully.

“That’s a pretty picture.”

He was only semi-hard, but he was getting harder and harder, watching you grind against Jungkook’s pecs. You knew exactly how to get him the hardest, dipping down and latching your mouth around one of his balls.

“Fuck, yes,” Yoongi gasped, his hand coming up and fitting behind your head. You sucked it into your mouth and then extended your tongue, bouncing the other with your wet muscle while sucking the first one. The first time you did this, Yoongi was literally speechless, sputtering and confused at how you could stimulate both at once and in two different ways, sucking with your lips as your tongue flicked against the other, slurping slightly to add vibration over the sensitive skin. You felt his cock swell, smacking your cheek, fully hard at the combined sensations.

“I still don’t know how you do that,” Yoongi gritted out, keeping your hair away from your face.

“Do what?” Jungkook asked behind you, one hand on your ass and squeezing it.

“She can suck one of your balls and lick the other at the same time.”

“What?!”

You yelped at the sharp sting of Jungkook’s slap to your ass.

“How come you never did that for me?” Jungkook complained, whining a little.

You tried to lift your head, but Yoongi’s hand refused to move. You make a muffled noise of distaste, but Yoongi answered for you as you switched sides.

“Have you asked?” Yoongi replied calmly, sighing in satisfaction.

“How am I supposed to know she has porn star skills?”

“Is this a discussion for right now?” you mumbled into Yoongi’s balls.

“No, because you’re supposed to be swallowing.”

“Wha–”

The second your mouth opened, Yoongi nudged his cock between your lips and you wrapped them around it, moaning as his stiff length slid down your throat, so satisfying, his taste on your tongue, so delicious that you didn’t even want to complain, you only wanted to bob your head up and down, hands on his hips. Yoongi chuckled above you, guiding your head with his right hand, left loosely by his side. You slid your lower body up and down Jungkook’s chest, your increased slickness adding more stimulation.

“Fuck, that’s so damn hot,” you heard Jungkook groan. There was a rustle of fabric and then skin on skin, his muscular arm brushing against your stocking clad thigh with every stroke.

If only you could take a picture and could see how sexy you were, blowing Yoongi with his hand behind your head, tucking the head of his cock into your throat a little deeper every time you descended, your pussy sliding up and down Jungkook’s chest, and Jungkook furiously jacking himself off while watching you suck his hyung off, feeling your slippery clit throb against his skin.

Good thing the door was locked, because of any other member walked in on this, it might have become a damn foursome.

“Close,” Yoongi panted, fingers digging into your scalp. “You want it like this?”

You hummed approvingly in your chest, increasing your pace and fucking Jungkook’s torso harder, nearing your end too, Jungkook moaning louder and pumping himself harder. So many indecent sounds, skin on skin, mouth on skin, hand on skin, moaning, crying out around Yoongi’s cock, his saliva-covered balls smacking you in the chin, you ass slapping down on Jungkook’s chest.

Hot, wet, positively sinful.

The chain reaction started with Jungkook. He came suddenly, choking on your name, shooting up your chest, warm stickiness splattering onto your skin and you squeezed your eyes shut, moaning as you came all over his chest, slippery and sweet, drenching his skin, throat muscles tightening, Yoongi whimpering your name, a rare moment of lost control as he thrust his hips into your lips, coating your throat with thick hot strings, forcing you to swallow fast, the pressure satisfying and overwhelming, gulping it all down eagerly.

You did ask to be ruined.

Just… a little more.

Your eyes were still closed, lazily licking Yoongi’s twitching length. He was panting above you, gently stroking your hair, words so soft that they were almost inaudible.

“I love you…”

You went all the way down and Yoongi groaned, your tongue flicking the top of his balls, rapid, swift laps that made his cock swell again, bending against the roof of your mouth. Yoongi chuckled, knowing exactly what you were doing.

“Still want more?”

You backed up, panting hard, Jungkook’s cum clinging to your chest and lingerie, hair a mess from Yoongi’s hand.

“Want your cock in my pussy,” you demanded hoarsely. “Want you to fuck me, Yoongi.”

He pretended to think about it. “Hmm, I don’t know…”

You got off Jungkook’s lap, snaking around the younger man’s body, crawling onto the bed, eyes on Yoongi, his intense gaze following you, enticed by your movement. On all fours, hips in the air, dropping your chest down a little, the curve of your back accentuating the roundness of your bare ass. Still in your garter belt and stockings, your bra half-off, the lowered cups pushing your breasts together invitingly. Jungkook turned his head, pink lips parting as your fingers fanned out over the sheets, one eyebrow arching gracefully.

“Jungkook in front. Yoongi behind.”

“Do… Do you want a towel or something, noona?” Jungkook asked, blinking rapidly at your assertiveness.

“I want to get fucked and I want to get fucked now, so get over here.”

“Bed’s going to be a mess,” Yoongi remarked, moving quickly, shedding his pants and going for the nightstand, taking out a condom.

“We can sleep in Jungkook’s room,” was your dry reply, yanking Jungkook’s hips towards you after he removed his sweatpants.

“Wha– ack!”

You spread his legs out in front of you, eyes roaming over his naked body, admiring it all, his legs, his abs, his pecs, covered in your drying juices, his adorable surprised face, navy curls around his chiseled cheeks, chocolate eyes round and awed at your prowess. Your hands were on his knees, breasts hanging down, breathing hard, adrenaline humming in your veins.

“You are so fucking pretty it’s unreal,” Jungkook breathed.

You grinned.

“I can’t wait for you to fuck my face.”

Jungkook grinned back at you.

You dove down, tits bouncing before becoming squashed against the bed, Jungkook’s drying cum flaking off as you wrapped your lips around one of his balls, moaning as you felt Yoongi’s hands firmly grip your hips.

“You have to help me a little,” Yoongi murmured.

“I will, hyung.”

“I mean her too,” the older man chuckled, smacking your ass playfully. Your tongue flitted out, slurping at Jungkook’s other ball from the side of your mouth as you sucked the first one, wiggling your ass at Yoongi to indicate that you heard him. Jungkook yelped, hands slamming down onto the pillows and clutching them, moaning out your name.

“What the fuck, what the fuck, holy shit…” His head hit the headboard lightly, speaking to the ceiling and maybe even the higher power himself. “H-How...? Why does it feel s-so good…?”

You felt Yoongi slide in, so easy because of all those back-to-back orgasms, and yet he still hissed at your tightness, muscles holding him firmly. You could cry with how good it felt, Yoongi finally fully inside you once again, filling you up just the way you liked, knowing how to hit your deepest spot right away, skillful and wonderful. You licked up Jungkook’s now hard length, moaning deeply as you slapped your hips back into Yoongi’s crotch. Yoongi moaned to match yours, enraptured by the feeling.

“Fuck, you feel so fucking good,” he hissed, nails digging into your ass. “Missed you so fucking much, my love.”

“I’ll do the moving, love,” you gasped back, squeezing Yoongi’s cock inside you. You reached for Jungkook’s right hand and grabbed it, planting it on your head. “Fuck my face, Jungkook. Please. Don’t hold back until you cum.”

Jungkook bit his lip, exhaling your name. “I think I love you.”

“And I definitely love you, so please give it to me.”

You closed your lips around him and sank down, looking up at him and his sweaty dark blue hair, his blown-out pupils, his outstretched tattooed arm, so fucking hot, fuck yes you loved him, him and his body and his work ethic and his sweetness and his firmness as he obeyed your command, thrusting into your mouth from below, filling your throat with the thick head.

Perfect.

You rocked your hips back to Jungkook’s rhythm, matching him, slow at first, but gradually faster, rougher, planting your hands on the bed for balance, completely focused on clenching your core and your mouth to fit the two cocks, giving them the maximum amount of pleasure that you could offer, suffocating them with tightness. It if was obscene before, it was ten times obscener now, Yoongi’s hand on your hip, barely having to move as you smacked your ass into him, Jungkook lurching you forward with his force, clenching his jaw as he chased his release, the bed screaming for help and none of you listening.

“You’re so fucking sexy, fuck, you always make me feel so good, can’t help but want you, need you, miss you so fucking much,” Jungkook gritted out, fingers curling in your hair, desperately and viscerally whimpering out your name as you tipped your head to change the angle, the sensitive head dragging against the roof of your mouth as he buried himself in your throat. “You’re so good to me, such a soft and tight mouth, fuck.”

You arched your back a little more, Yoongi hitting you deeper, hearing him suck in a tight breath at your movement.

“Tighter,” Yoongi growled. “I’m close, come on, give it to me.”

And then he smacked your ass with his open palm, making you moan around Jungkook’s thick cock, pussy clenching around Yoongi’s entire length, and then again, smack! Control slipping with every hit, falling into Jungkook’s pace, the sheer force of his hips pushing you down on Yoongi’s cock over and over, now only focused on hollowing out your cheeks and gripping Yoongi’s cock, the sudden twitching indicating that Yoongi was close, so close, holding out a little so he could watch you longer, torturing you just the way you liked, but he couldn’t hold out for long because you didn’t let him, walls pulsating around him brutally as you came, stuffed so full that you couldn’t think. Yoongi groaned your name, gripping your ass with both hands and digging his nails in your softness, cock jolting as he came in thick pumps, filling up the condom and swelling it against your walls.

It took Jungkook a little longer, but not that much longer, your mouth still locked tight and he hissed out your name, whimpering as he came down your throat, filling it with cum once again, so fast that you had to swallow hastily to breathe, and yet there was more, thick salty dribbles that made you moan, so delicious that you leaned into it, sucking Jungkook dry.

“A-ah, n-noona…”

Your body ached, flinching from oversensitivity, your mind swimming with pleasure. Had it ever felt this good before? You slid off Jungkook’s cock, falling against his thigh and using it like a pillow, chest heaving, sticky all over, lips overused, pussy throbbing, barely realizing that Yoongi had pulled out, far too spent to see straight.

“Fuck, I love you two…”

Yoongi’s face suddenly appeared, smug expression above you. He had crawled over your body, ruffled black hair hanging down, dark cat eyes gleaming.

“Romantic.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Mmm.”

He leaned down and kissed you, smiling against your lips, mouthing his love to you, forming each word against your skin slowly so you knew. You smiled back, showering him with light pecks, mouthing the words back to him. Yoongi purred and lifted himself up, taking you with him.

“I can’t move,” you complained, using your arms to push yourself up to avoid straining Yoongi’s shoulders. He chuckled, not the least bit fooled by your whines. He pushed you into Jungkook’s hard chest, covered in sweat and cum, and sandwiched you between them, your face right beside Jungkook’s, cheek to cheek. You could feel the heat in his face, his hair sticking to it.

“Noona?”

“Hm?”

Everything was far too messy for this cuddle session, but that could wait.

“Is it okay if I love you?” Jungkook mumbled, burying his nose in your hair.

“Mhm,” Yoongi responded, sounding sleepy.

You brushed Jungkook’s hair away from his face. “I would very much like that.”

“Everything is dirty,” Yoongi grumbled.

“You are a main contributor,” you said cheerfully.

Yoongi grunted, leaning against you, squashing you a little harder against Jungkook. Nothing to complain about. You were enjoying every second of this.

“Jungkookie?”

“Hm, noona?”

You reached up and ran a hand through his dark cerulean hair. Jungkook hummed appreciatively, closing his eyes at your touch.

“You know this shade is Cookie Monster blue, right?”

“… Hah?”

“Does that make you Ggukkie Monster?”

Yoongi burst out laughing, raspy and full, a rare moment of Min Yoongi absolutely losing his shit.

-

part v "Sorry, Jungkook, you're not allowed this time."

--

masterpost

[dollsorwhatever]

Tarina Tarantino Barbie OOAK  2008

I can’t believe how surreal this is for me LOL story and photos below the cut!! In 2008, jewelry designer Tarina Tarantino collaborated with Mattel to create a collection of Barbie jewelry pieces... and a Barbie Collector doll:

Let me tell you, this doll was EVERYTHING to me. I was thirteen, about to be fourteen, and this doll was the only thing I wanted for my birthday, period. I spent hours just looking at her online; the fluffy, curly pink hair, the incredibly detailed jewelry, all of those amazing clothing pieces and the stunning box, her gorgeous face.. I would have died for this doll lol. To this day, she’s my favorite Barbie Collector doll ever released, and one of my favorite Barbie dolls to ever exist, I was so giddy when I got her! The good parts are below the cut:

When the doll was launched at Tarina Tarantino’s studio in 2008, there were six OOAK custom dolls on display at the party as well, to be auctioned off for charity. They’re the same base doll as the general release Tarina, but the hair and jewelry are unique and they each came with a fully bedazzled car (or a Moped in one example), and a piece of jewelry from the collection.  The six dolls were: Candy Cameo Barbie 

Sparkling Star Barbie

Peace, Love and Sparkle Barbie

Hippie Princess Barbie

Glam Rock Barbie

And finally, the subject of this post, Popstar Barbie

I can’t even describe how much I LOVED these dolls, particularly Popstar and Sparkling Star. I had their pictures saved on my computer and I would just look at them all the time, google pictures of them from the launch party and think about how lucky I would be to own one of them.  Sadly I wasn’t very careful with my dolls when I was 14, and eventually my Tarina became a little busted and I got rid of her. I did get a second one at Big Lots when I was 15, but I kinda destroyed her too lol.   What’s funny is that Tarina is actually the #1 reason why I became a member of the online doll community; I tried washing her (curly, kanekalon) hair, ruined it, and in searching for ways to fix it I found and joined the Flickr doll community, without which I never would have learned about doll photography, hair restyling or any of the amazing dolls I discovered through this community. She quite literally changed my life when I was 14 lol.  Anyways, I’ve always wanted to get a new Tarina to leave NIB but it was never the right time, until last week when I decided to go looking at pictures of her...and then, at the top of Google Images, was a listing for Popstar Barbie, with her Swarovski encrusted Corvette, on a secondhand designer clothing website for about 340$.

I can’t even describe how FRANTIC I became lmfao. I had to wait about 4 days to buy her, until I got paid, and then I bought her as quickly as I could.  She just got here today and frankly, I can die happy now. Sorry for these rough pics lol I have a migraine and didn’t want to set up to take good photos today. She came in a plain white cardboard box with a Tarina Tarantino sticker on the top, wrapped in pink tissue paper:

She is in EXCELLENT condition, even her hair looks completely untouched.  Here’s a photo of her that was taken around the time of the launch:

She’s in the same condition as she was, all those years ago when this photo was taken! As previously mentioned, her base is identical to the general release; the only differences are that her hair is rooted with a side part and (expertly) cut and styled into a Farrah wave, her jewelry is entirely different and custom made, and her purse is covered with little rhinestones to match.   Also her stand is signed by Tarina!! She’s incredibly beautiful, ughh

I think her jewelry might actually be Swarovski, since Tarina really likes to work with their stones. She’s absolutely pristine, actually I’m quite certain she was put in the box immediately after the auction and never touched again.  Much to my delight and surprise, she also came with the original auction card, the pedestal it stood on, and her COA, all wrapped in official Tarina Tarantino tissue paper (as well as the necklace, still in the little drawstring baggy):

This was SO exciting for me to see as I never expected the card to be included, but I’m so pleased to have it! And last but not least, the car!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was fully wrapped in plastic in the shipping box, and I re-wrapped it after taking this quick/messy photo.  It’s the 2008 TRU exclusive Corvette, but absolutely SOAKED in crystals. The rims and tires, the headlights, even the seatbelts and windshield edges are just absolutely covered in different, individually placed stones (mostly Swarovski AB crystals I believe) Also! That black thing on the front is a resin SKULL with gemstone eyes!!!! Absolutely incredible.  I find it absolutely, completely 100% unbelievable that I own this doll, this doll that I’ve coveted since I was 14 and NEVER thought I would own in a million years, this one of a kind doll that was physically displayed at Tarina Tarantino’s studio and signed by Tarina herself...and she’s mine. It frankly feels like destiny considering how much I love the original doll, and how big a part she’s played in my life as a doll collector.  I also purchased a general release Tarina Barbie shortly after getting her, to keep NIB and display with the OOAK (and also because I really, really, really missed owning her lol)

The current plan is to keep this doll NIB, and then purchase another NIB Tarina- that way I’ll have one to debox and restyle, and I can repackage the OOAK in her box for permanent safekeeping and display. Actually I plan on purchasing two more Tarinas haha; one NIB to steal her box and leave stock, and a loose one to restyle and rebody lol.  As for the car, I plan on packaging it to remain pristine and safe, perhaps in a clear acrylic case, and putting it in my closet for safekeeping when it’s not on display in my room. I plan on setting up my lightbox (the one I’ve owned for years and literally never use) and taking a shit ton of detailed, HQ photos of both Barbie and her Corvette for documentation purposes; I feel absolutely honored to own this doll and I really want to capture every detail for people to see.  Anyway long post, thanks for reading sksksks

[melodious-madrigals]

of communication and cats

Written as part of @wondertrevnet‘s Lock Out Bingo.

Fandom: Wonder Woman Pairing: Diana/Steve Prompt: texting Word Count: 2552 Rating: T Summary: Steve and Diana adopt a cat. Steve is exceptionally bad at texting. The two converge more often than you'd think. (Aka miscommunication, but like. Low stakes.) Mostly fluff. In-universe for lost love (sweeter when it’s finally found) which you can read here.

Find it below the cut or on AO3.

***

Notes: not really a texting fic, just a very loose definition of "fulfilling" the prompt because it includes some texts, lol. 

***

Don't be mad, but says the preview on her push notification from Steve's latest message. Not exactly an auspicious start, given his propensity for doing reckless things.

Diana massages the spot between her eyebrows where tension headaches start, and decides she needs to just bite the bullet and look at the text. (It can't be too bad if he's still able to text about it, right?)

Swiping down, she taps on the message.

Don't be mad, it says, but I found this little one abandoned, and I was *going* to ask if we could keep it but then I fell in love. Sorry, no takebacksies, but I will let you help me name it.

Attached is a picture of a fluffy black kitten curled up against Steve's chest. The angle is funny—clearly an attempt at a one-handed selfie while also holding the kitten—but it's one of the most precious things Diana has ever seen. The kitten's tail is wrapped tight enough to be gently touching its own nose. It's so adorable that Diana thinks she might cry.

The message is a little over an hour old, and Diana goes to text back when more messages come through.

Vet says: It's a girl! 🎈

Then, She has a great big personality, with a photo attachment of the kitten—vet office clear in the background—looking extremely indignant at her current circumstances.

I look forward to meeting her, Diana types back.

When Diana gets home, she finds a veritable explosion of cat toys and products across their living room and kitchen. At the epicenter, on the couch, is Steve, asleep, with a tiny little ball of black fur tucked up under his chin. If Diana had previously had any reservations about their new kitten (she hadn't, really), they would have been erased upon seeing them like this.

She snaps a quick picture, and then goes into the kitchen, pulling out vegetables to start dicing for the evening meal.

Twenty minutes later, Steve wanders in, the kitten now cradled against his chest.

"She's about six weeks," says Steve. "Which is a little early, but the vet says that other than needing to be fed, she looks healthy. She didn't appreciate her first round of shots, but she did appreciate the salmon pâté slurry I gave her afterwards."

"Poor thing. She was abandoned?"

"I think so," says Steve. "I actually saw her yesterday, hiding in the same spot, but they say not to move kittens, you know? because sometimes the mother is just off hunting. But she was alone yesterday and crying, and she was doing the same when I passed by today, and I couldn't just leave her there."

"You did the right thing, Steve. So, about her name."

Steve looks away guiltily, and Diana just knows that he's already named the cat.

"The vet needed a name to start her file," Steve mumbles. "I thought Bast would be cute."

Diana purses her lips, trying not to smile. "She already has you worshipping her like a goddess; it fits." Then she breaks, and starts laughing. "I'm not mad, Steve! About the cat or the name."

Steve looks relieved, like he didn't really think this would be a fight, but wasn't sure. They've talked about getting a pet before, but have always decided against it because of how much they travel.

"I already talked to Aisha and Marguerite," he says, referring to the couple who lives across the hall. "They said that they would watch her when we go out of town, as long as they also get to play with her while she's still a kitten."

"That reminds me, we should have them over for dinner this weekend. Or next, if they aren't free."

Steve shakes his head. "Next weekend's bad. I've got a work thing Friday night, and we're going to the concert at the Madeleine on Saturday with the Giraudets."

Diana makes a little humming noise as she pulls several spice jars from the cabinet. "Am I coming to your work function?"

"Only if you want, but I'd love to have you. You can't hit Floyd, though."

Diana wrinkles her nose at the mention of his co-worker. "We can go out for late night kebab afterward," she decides. "As a reward for putting up with him."  

"Génial," says Steve, at the same time that Bast wakes up and meows loudly. "Apparently we haven't been paying her enough attention."

"Hello, Bast," Diana says, and the kitten meows again.

"Here, take her; I'll finish supper," offers Steve.

The kitten squeaks as Steve transfers her, then settles into Diana's arms, looks up at her, and slowly closes her eyes and falls asleep again.

They're cat people now, apparently.

*

Bast, as it turns out, is a very affectionate cat. She wants to be held, constantly, and when she isn't being held, will toddle up to one of her people and scream until they finally do pick her up. She also likes sleeping tucked up under Steve's chin, which Diana finds absolutely hilarious because Steve is not—and has never been—a back sleeper, but now, more often than not, she finds him falling asleep on his back so as not to disturb Bast.

Bast is most definitely Steve's cat, but she likes Diana well enough. Often, she perches on Diana's left shoulder when she's working on her laptop, and peers at the screen like she's reading the artifact dossiers too.

Sometimes, if Diana is very lucky, Bast will curl up in her lap instead, nose still tucked into the curl of her tail, and purr. Most of the time, Bast perks up as soon as Steve gets home, and prances over to greet him with an affectionate headbutt.

"I see how it is," Diana says, one day, when Bast lifts her head at a sound outside the door that turns out not to be Steve, and Diana swears she looks disappointed. "You like him best."

Bast simply looks at Diana with her big round eyes and blinks once, which Diana suspects is cat for 'duh'.

"Oh, all right, I cannot blame you," Diana sighs, "I like him best too."

Bast presents her chin, and Diana obliges her with a scritch.

("That was a cat-kiss," Steve says later, of the blink, laughing. "Bast was basically telling you she loves and trusts you, and you thought it was sass.")

*

It's a perfectly ordinary day, and perfectly ordinary days are very easily ruined.

For the day in question, it's the We need to talk that shows up from Steve, causing Diana's nerves to go haywire. She really doesn't think they're fighting about anything, but 'we need to talk' is universally a bad thing, right? They're usually pretty good about handling their problems in constructive ways, and they're excellent at talking through things, but there's a certain permanent ominous quality to 'we need to talk' that fills her with dread.

But when Diana unlocks her phone, she finds: We need to talk about how adorable Bast is right now, along with a picture of the cat in question with her paws crossed over her eyes, and the tiniest tip of her tongue visible between her teeth, like she didn't quite pull it all the way in when she closed her mouth.

Diana laughs, shows the picture to her interns, and sends back She looks so angelic. Like she didn't start caterwauling at four a.m. this morning and wake me out of a dead sleep.  

She's a cat, replies Steve. They're always perfect little angels, even when they're not.

"That cat has you wrapped around its paw," Diana says that afternoon, when she comes home to find Steve making a special meal for Bast. "That had better not be the hake I bought at the market this morning."

"Of course it isn't. I filleted that and have the rest cooking down in the stock." He tilts his head toward the lidded pot on the stove. "This is just a little treat for being three months old." He says the last bit to Bast in a slightly sing-song voice.

She loves this man, she really does.

*

Diana is having a very long day and thinking about Bruce Wayne in a rather uncharitable way. (He is, after all, the reason she had to extend her business trip to the States and is not currently home with her husband and their cat.) She's dirty and tired, and trying desperately not to be bitter about it, because she doesn't approve of feeling bitter about things, when her phone buzzes.

The setting it's on means that the text can only be from Steve, while everyone else is filtered out by 'do not disturb'. Checking her surroundings surreptitiously, she pulls out her phone.

Diana help I'm dying reads the preview and Diana's heart drops into her stomach, body immediately prepping for a supersonic flight and going into panic mode because she's too far away, an hour or two at least from whatever Steve has gotten himself into now—

Diana help I'm dying at how fricking cute Bast is and I need you to be too, Steve has written. I can't even. Underneath is a minute long video of Bast, and Diana nearly hurls her phone across the room before the relief takes over. She almost throws up as she comes down from the adrenaline spike, too.

After a couple of deep breaths, Diana hits the dial button, and Steve picks up on the first ring, right as rain.

"Did you watch it? Isn't she just the best?" he exclaims.

"You need to work on how you start your texts, Steve," she says instead of answering. "Do you know how it popped up on my phone? 'Diana help I'm dying.'"

Steve sucks in a breath sharply enough that it's audible even across the tinny connection. "Oh, Gods. I'm so sorry, Diana."

Between his contrition and the fact that he's clearly okay, Diana feels her anger evaporate. She can't count the number of times that Barry—just for example—has used 'I'm dying' or 'DEAD' or 'deceased' to indicate various emotions that are not death-based. It's only normal that Steve would pick it up.

"No, I also overreacted," she admits. "I have not slept properly in two days and was not really thinking."

"I'll still work on it," Steve promises. "Seriously, watch the video; she's such a weirdo. It'll make your day better."

"Okay, I will."

"Hey, are you okay? Do you want to talk?"

"I am just ready to be home," Diana says. "I really shouldn't talk now, but hopefully I will be home before morning."

"Okay, Angel. Love you."

"Love you too."

The call disconnects, and then Diana hits play on the video. It's shot in their kitchen, and it's dark enough out that Steve has the overhead light on. Bast is in the middle of the floor, spinning in circles chasing her tail, or maybe the shadow of her tail, Diana can't quite tell. She suppresses a laugh as Bast starts spinning the other way. Dammit, Steve's right. She really is cute.

Day brightened, Diana taps out. Give her a kiss for me, we both know how much she loves those.

Two minutes later, a photo pops through of a very disgruntled looking Bast with the caption 'post-kiss', and Diana squashes down another laugh.

She's home by one in the morning, their time, and only has to move Bast a little bit to climb into bed next to Steve.

*

One of the reasons Diana was originally hesitant to get a cat was how much they both travel for work, and this month has been absolutely non-stop for her. In the past three weeks, it feels like she's only been home about three days. Fortunately, this is her last trip for another month (or at least, her last scheduled trip; JL business has a nasty way of popping up at inconvenient times), and Steve's job has been largely quiet on the travel front, lately.

She's got one more day to get through, and then it's just her normal job. She might even take a personal day or two.

She's just about to go into another meeting when her phone buzzes. Urgent! Read me NOW says the preview of Steve's message, and Diana immediately thumbs open her lockscreen, pausing before she enters the room, just in case she needs to dart back out.

We love you! ♥️💕 reads the rest of the message, and underneath is an attached photo of Steve and Bast. He's holding her up so that their faces are pressed together, and Bast has decided to be a perfect angel for Steve, looking directly into the camera. Diana swears she's even smizing next to Steve's own grin.

I know we talked about this, says another message that pops up while she's looking at the picture, but we wanted to make sure you saw that right away.

And then, We miss you.

A smile inches its way across her lips, and she sends back a quick selfie with a cat ears filter and a miss you too scrawled along the bottom before ducking back into the meeting.

*

It's Bast who hears her first, because when she opens the apartment door, Bast is sitting squarely in front of it. She lets out an indignant yowl, and then puts her front paws up on Diana's legs, asking to be picked up.

Diana shoves her suitcase inside the door, closes it, and obliges, and Bast settles in against her chest.

"She's clearly forsaken me," says Steve, who's just come out of the bedroom. "Hey you," he adds, leaning in over Bast to give her a kiss.

"Give it five minutes," Diana replies, because even though the cat looks comfortable now, her moods are mercurial.

"Mmm," Steve hums, clearly in agreement. "Hey, before I forget: can I see your phone?"

She shifts Bast (who looks up at her reproachfully) so that she can free a hand and pull her phone out of her pocket to give to Steve.  

"I've been fiddling with mine, and I figured out how to turn the preview off of the push notification," he says.

Diana lets out a startled laugh. "That's probably a more secure setting anyways," she says. "Go ahead. I look forward to the moment when every third text from you will no longer induce panic."

"The future is now," Steve deadpans, and Diana has to set an affronted Bast down so that she can give Steve a proper hug, because she's glad to be home.

*

The next morning, Diana sneaks out early to their favorite boulangerie for a couple of pain aux raisins. She's in line when her phone pings.

Swiping it open, she taps on the notification and sees (in full, this time, thankfully): Mayday, mayday, mayday, the cat has taken your spot. There's Bast—stretched out so long across the bed that it almost looks like someone put her on a medieval torture rack—looking very pleased with herself because she's taken up the entire half of the bed that is Diana's.

A small smile creeps over her face as she steps forward to order. She's got a spot to reclaim, a cat to snuggle, and a husband to kiss good morning; she hasn't got any time to waste.

***

[moneyshvt]

☆ . · . simay barlas, twenty-two, female, she / her . · . ☆ AYLA CLEARWATER lives in that huge mansion over there! no, not that one. look for THE LARGE NATURAL STONE FOUNTAIN and that’ll be it. the SPORTS PHOTOGRAPHER has offered occasional glimpses of LIGHT GREEN walls and an impressive collection of EMPTY PICTURE FRAMES in the background of social media posts, but all of that is nothing compared to seeing the opulence in person. they’ve remained CLEVER as ever since moving to tercet court one year ago, but it seems like they might’ve gotten a little more of NARCISSISTIC too. maybe that’s why they’re rumored to have such a FRIENDLY relationship with everyone else who lives on this street. ☆ . · . ooc info: ollie, they/them, 21, est . · . ☆

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

— she was adopted when she was just under two years old from turkey, so the clearwaters have always felt like her family to her. she knew the greater part of growing up that she was adopted, it just never was an issue for her. it was a fact, but it really wasn’t an important fact. she has no desire to try to find her birth parents or family, though she has visited turkey.

—  the clearwaters are a triple threat in sports : her grandfather retired mlb player and coach, her father a retired prominent defenseman in the nhl and current dartmouth men’s hockey coach, and her older brother ( 26 ) is making a splash in his third year in the nfl as a wide receiver.  however, her parents made sure she and her brother had a ( fairly ) average “middle class” bringing up, though they had their fair share of money in the bank. didn’t have to struggle, really, but didn’t get everything she wanted either. had a summer job scooping ice cream for two years in high school.

— grew up in norwich, vt, real big on nature and hiking and all that jazz and lowkey misses it in the heart of la.

— when she was ten she got one of those kid’s polaroid cameras ( u know the ones where the film is only a little bigger than a postage stamp ) and she was obsessed. she worked her way up through cameras over the years, having a natural eye for it.

— one of the first games she ever shot was one of her brother’s high school football games which sounds sweet but it was actually because she was so bored out of her mind and wanted something to do. needless to say, though, that was the start of it. some might say it was kind of inevitable she gravitated toward sports somehow — she was a clearwater at heart. since then she has gained a lot of knowledge and respect for all different kinds of sports.

— for college she was torn between dartmouth and nyu. she ultimately chose nyu because it was somewhere new.

— she went to nyu for advertising and photography, shooting various nyu sports teams while she was there and throughout her years, managed to shoot a few rangers, knicks, and yankees games as well. she held two summer internships with the yankees ( on her own merits or because of her family name, she may never truly know ) and ultimately graduated from nyu a year early.

— she then spent the better part of a year after graduation road tripping as you do and ended up in california. it’s all about who you know, and in picking up a favor for a friend in cali she stumbled into the perfect opportunity. from there she landed a role on the company that handles the photography for staples center and other notable teams, most notably the kings, lakers, and dodgers ( photography company based on this irl one ).

— she moved into tercet court not long after she knew she would be in la for much of the time being. it’s definitely not her house, considering she makes just enough to live on. it’s a family home, purchased initially by her father who’d wanted to sink some money into tangible assets instead of the stock market and to have a west-coast home available for the family. hey, worked out pretty well for her.

— she has predominately been tasked with shooting the kings the past year or so, though she started with shooting dodgers games last summer and is doing so this summer as well. she’s also shot a handful of lakers’ games when a friend needs someone to cover. three of her photos so far have been used in large ads and banners in the city ( including most recently her current MONEY SHOT of the game winning goal in a come back win ) --- very cool moment for her. several others have been used by local publications and websites.

— she does a little freelance work as well ; mostly for friends or friends of friends, though she’s been considering lately trying to make her skills and business available in a more professional manner. she does do a lot of photographing for herself --- a lot of candids ; she thinks they capture the true spirit of a person moreso than when they’re posing or prepared for a photo. but not in a creepy way --- she’s been the victim of the paps enough times by association with her family to know the correct boundaries and limits.

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂

— lowkey loves playing games with the paps, though she’s probably the only one that finds it funny. as a photographer herself she has a good eye for where they’re hiding and will also snap photos of them in turn just for her own amusement.

— she hopes someday to be the team photographer for a team, hopefully in one of the “big four” ( nfl, nhl, nba, mlb )

— she played field hockey and lacrosse through high school.

— ayla thinks she’s better at shooting people. part of what she loves about being a sports photographer is how active and unpredictable it is to shoot a game. she’s had to learn a lot to try to predict what she can.

— very much a morning person. has never had a problem waking up in the morning. who’s jealous bc i am. goes for a run at sunrise, and has showered, gotten ready for the day, and is at a local cafe shop editing photos / making graphics and drinking an iced mocha by 8. truly couldn’t be me...

— so desperately wants to be that girl with tons of cute aesthetic plants in her apartment but tragically plants always die in her care no matter what she does. probably has gotten one of those tiny tabletop sand zen gardens to make herself feel better tho she still keeps trying with plants. so far the only ones that have lived any length of time are the air plants.

— she really wants a greyhound but is afraid to make the commitment to actually adopting one.

— her personal insta ( the non-sports one ) has a modest following. a few thousand, probs.

— she has struggled a bit with people who think her opportunities have only arisen because of her family pedigree ( which some have gone so far to tell her they’re “not her family” --- which, don’t even go there, lads... ), and that has made ayla work all that much harder to prove that she’d gotten where she has on her own merits.

— she has a rule ( and in the case of the nhl there is a rule enforced by a signed contract ) about not getting involved with anyone she shoots ; it’s considered a conflict of interest. i imagine she has a really good relationship with the players though --- probably doesn’t hurt that she is pretty. at least one of them have hired her to shoot their wedding this summer even though she is wildly under qualified.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

alya is a chill and laidback person at heart. her approach to the fame attached to her due to her father and brother has been to laugh it off good-naturedly. she’s generally well liked, with a hint of sass and humor. she comes across as a bit of an air-head at times, but that’s part due to a persona she put on from a young age. she has an observant eye that drew to her photography in the first place and will often allow her to draw certain conclusions about people. she’s well versed in all the sports she shoots, something that tends to surprise a lot of people, but how is she supposed to be good at her job if she isn’t ? if she gets bothered during games she typically shuts people down with wide eyes and some obscure bit of knowledge in her cute, raspy lil voice. dareisay... elle woods, what like it’s hard ? energy ??

a few of her downfalls include her narcissism and need to be liked. she looks to look and feel pretty, by her own standards, and is a queen of the self-timer and remote self photography : has two instas because of it -- one for her sports photography and one that’s a “personal” and mostly just pictures of herself. her need to be liked is something she doesn’t even realize. she likes to be seen in a positive light.

𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄

alya stands at 5′4″ with a slim but athletic build. her hair is naturally brown, but is dyed to have blonde highlights. she does not need glasses or contacts and has no tattoos.

she’s almost always wearing the same pair of beat up timberland’s she’s owned since freshman year of college. she likes to be able to move easily ( bc homegirl absolutely cannot walk in heels at all ). despite what the tabloids like to call her unfortunate choice in footwear, she likes to look cute, often pairing them with short, flowy sundresses or skirts + crop tops. when she shoots games, however, she’s dressed rather practically in skinny jeans, a crop top, and a cardigan. her hair is often kept down and loose, or in a messy bun.

𝐎𝐎𝐂

it me. ollie again. i also play fitz ( miguel bernardeau fc ). yes the overlap between fitz and ayla is not great but i truly only know one thing that that one thing is hockey asldfalsdjf sO. if y’all seeing me rping with myself on the dash bc i think it’d be fun to bounce fitz and ayla off each other mind ur own business...

[redbeardace]

Quarantine 4: Stay Home

[This is a post for the May Carnival of Aces.]

So much is different now.

So much is the same.

I have been very fortunate so far.  The disease hasn’t touched me or anyone close to me yet.  I still have a job and am working full time.  The biggest practical impact on my life is that I no longer have a daily commute.

I see other people talking about their experiences and they’re so...  strange?

Someone remarked on my “8 days without human contact” sign, shocked that I hadn’t needed to go shopping in 8 days, that I must have really stocked up.  But I routinely go two weeks without shopping, 8 days is nothing.  I’m going on my 23rd day on this cycle and the only reason I’ll have to go shopping now is that I’m out of milk.  I still have plenty of everything else.

It’s weird to me that people seem to think that having more than three days of groceries is prepper level stockpiling.  And watching everyone make a run on the stores and seeing what they were grabbing was just baffling.  When Cascadia puts on its big show, what are these people planning to do?

People talk about how little gas they’ve been buying lately.  Welcome to my life. I have a mostly electric car and go months between fill ups.

I am truly concerned about the number of people posting “My kids are making me drink haha” jokes.  Sure, maybe it’s funny for the first few days, but if you’re still saying that on day 57, I think you seriously need to step back and look at yourself and consider if maybe you have a drinking problem.  Because you’ve spent two months talking about how you routinely drink in order to cope with the stress of your children, and that seems like you might have a problem.

Anyone know how to tell a bunch of my coworkers that they may be alcoholics in a tactful way...?

I’ve been telling a daily WFH joke on the company chat system.  I can’t keep it up anymore.  It’s gone on too long.

I’ve been making masks.

I’ve been putting hats on scarecrow owls.

I’ve been making subtle changes to the backdrop of the daily video calls for work.  Yesterday it was an vintage photo of an old man, a middle aged woman, and a teenage girl who might be a timelord, standing in a field.  Tomorrow it will be a jazzy picture of a roll of toilet paper with a face drawn on it.

It is named Sir Roland of Charmaine.

I ordered pizza delivery for the first time ever today.  I like pizza and hate people, so how come I’ve never done this before.

I haven’t had a nasty headache in weeks.

I haven’t put on any weight.

I live alone.  If I get sick, I’m going to have to take care of myself somehow.  I don’t know if I’d be able to do that.  There won’t be anyone to leave dinner at the top of the stairs.  There won’t be anyone to take me to the hospital if things get bad.  

Stuff is piling up.  Like literal stuff in literal piles.  My stairs are on the verge of becoming hazardous.  I’m not sure where all this stuff has come from.

I’m now treating my mail as hazardous material.

If I ever had to deal with actual hazardous material, I probably wouldn’t survive.

I see all these people talking about how much time they have now.  I have no extra time.  I’m feeling like I’m being an unproductive loser because I’m not going to come out of this knowing how to play the mandolin in Romanian or whatever, but I don’t have newfound free time.  Even the time gained back from the commute has vanished somewhere.

I have to have a timer at my desk so that I’ll stop working after 8-ish hours.

They’ve been giving me plastic bags at the grocery store because they refuse to use the reusable ones.  Reminds me just how much I hate plastic bags.

I have to get my house painted.  I’m kinda digging this no contact thing.  I need to take advantage of it more while it lasts.

The president is still a fascist, there’s gun-toting nutjobs on the loose who aim to kill us all one way or another, and the MURDER HORNETS ARE HERE.

Seriously.  The Murder Hornets are here.  WTF.

I’ve mostly been in good shape.  Two incidents threw me off balance.  

I lost a notecard of WFH jokes.  That was kind of a last straw situation, where I had to shuffle and strain to try to make a usable workspace and nothing was going right and even after a best attempt, the chair didn’t fit and I didn’t fit because I never fit and now there’s all sorts of stuff in my hallway that doesn’t belong there and what am I going to do with it all and I didn’t want to do any of this and NOW WHERE IN THE HELL IS MY NOTE CARD BECAUSE IT WAS RIGHT HERE AND I WAS CAREFUL WITH IT AND WHERE DID IT GO AND HOW DID I LOSE IT IT LITERALLY WENT SEVEN FEET AT MOST AND I’VE SEARCHED THE WHOLE AREA A DOZEN TIMES AND HOW COULD IT JUST DISAPPEAR LIKE THAT.

The latest Stay At Home order extension.  I knew it was coming, but just running the calendar out based on the dates they were saying and extrapolating for the dates they weren’t saying, and coming up with the middle of July at the earliest and just...

Somehow, the loss of the Pride Parade didn’t hit me that hard.  It should have.

Quarantine beards.  I don’t get it.  I mean, I’m lazy about shaving, but this I don’t understand.  Also, I’m pretty much incapable of growing a proper quarantine beard.  I grow in a month what others do in a few days.

I cut my own hair.  I’ve got electric clippers.  It’s really not that hard and it doesn’t involve potentially giving the plague to any barbers or pretending that democracy is threatened by my bangs getting a bit too long.  Of course, I only do it about once a year.  This is around the time of year that I do it, though.

I’ve worn pants every day.  Regular pants.  Not PJs or sweat pants.  But pants pants.  You all really not wearing pants?  Maybe I’ll wear a skirt one day to mix things up.

I have been routinely testing my sense of smell.  Haven’t lost it yet.

There’s stuff I want to do, but I don’t feel like doing any of it.  There are time-sensitive projects I want to do, but I don’t really want to sit in front of the computer for the time it would take to make it happen.  Because I sit in front a computer in my house all day for work now and there’s no energy left for anything more.  Not that there was energy for that stuff before.

Am I supposed to support the economy by ordering from local businesses online or save the lives of delivery workers by only ordering essential things?  And how come when I ordered a bunch of stuff from a place that claims they’re prioritizing essential items, the one thing that I ordered that could be considered essential was the last thing they shipped?

I had a Nigerian organized crime ring file for unemployment in my name.  The state’s apparently lost millions in this scheme.  I don’t understand how that can be.  It seems like “Don’t Send Money To Nigeria” would be a pretty straightforward check in the system.

Oh.  Wait.  I’m a software engineer who’s spent my time on the quality and reliability side of the house.  I can totally see something like that getting deprioritized and won’t-do’d.

Also had my credit card number stolen and used on a wild shopping spree.  Not sure if that’s ‘rona-related.  It’s the credit card I use for all my online shopping.  So that’s all on hold at the moment.

My car battery died.  I had to use a battery pack to jump it.  Fun fact:  I drive a plug-in hybrid, which had been plugged in this whole time.  Apparently the 12v battery doesn’t get charged by the wall plug.  Which seems really weird to me.

I see lots of people complaining about how they can’t have sex right now or how dating is weird.  So not a problem for me.

[elizabethrobertajones]

14x01 watching notes

RIP Kip, we hardly knew ye.

Well hey, returning friends and people who unwittingly clicked on this not knowing exactly what they're in for. Blowing off the dust and starting a new season of Dabb fuckery, which I spent way too long trying to think of a portmanteau for when I already have the episode downloaded

It's 5am, let's DO THIS.

-

So they start with Dean's Hi I Am A Cop On The Day Before I Retire speech re: hula girls and hawaiian t-shirts which is remarkably prescient of me to have been irrationally upset about that one detail after I binged most of season 13 last night to get me back in the mood. So now I have to elaborate on my one line textpost >.>

Because yes, that is the perfect note to start the season on: Dean thought the good times had rolled, allowed himself to hope, assembled himself a family with mom and step-pop (Bobby counts as a full father but AU Bobby is step-pop), brother, husband, kid... Said kid was promising A World Without Monsters aka Dabb's showrunning tagline for an endgame he teases them. And Lucifer was tucked safely away in an AU with the murderous Michael... And then in a series of events it all came crumbling down and with this amount of goodness in his grasp, he gave up what even when the real Michael was hounding him for it, he couldn't before.

Because in season 13 it is beyond obvious that Dean is tired, an Old Hunter, the best of his game but ready to bow out on that note, and yet for him it's not a matter of stepping back and letting someone else handle it because when Michael and Lucifer were involved, it was beyond personal. He and Sam only EXIST because Lucifer and realMichael wanted them to. And so there was no way this trouble would come to someone else's door, when it was the nasty angel on his shoulder and the devil on Sam's and we have Nougat as their collective responsibility who's the nexus of it all anyway.

-

Eeee the Road So Far text is glowy grace colour on a dark blue background. I'm JIZED for the title card.

-

Goodness, the Road So Far is a weird journey because we see Jack being all useful and magic and then callbacks to 13x01 and 2 where he was a messed up 2 day old and Dean just wanted to murder him.

I haven't outlined any expectations for this episode or even this recap but I suddenly realise that I should probably be wondering how much DeanCas we're gonna get in it, and this rage against Jack is subtextually motivated, for sure, but for me the first 6 episodes of Dean's grief arc were wonderful character stuff but removed from the main plot and therefore in my head I keep boxing them off like a bubble season, like 10x01-3 are, and I legit wasn't even expecting to SEE content from them in the recap, because brilliant as they are I sort of just forgot they were a part of this season despite watching them yesterday. The season for me became so much the Jack And Mary Search that this hiccup at the start didn't meet the requirements to be in season 13 :P

They're just That Time Dean Was Really Sad About Cas Then He Came Back And They Were Cowboys

-

Oh good there was "everybody we've lost" and then a recap of Cas dying and then - oh, we're recapping plot again? Er... everybody? Dean? Who else? DEAN?

this was the thinly veiled subtext of that line anyway since Dean waved off Mary and made it all about Cas anyways but. Yikes, editing team.

-

Jesus I watched season 13 yesterday and I forgot about Asmodeus. You know what, this is pre-coffee AND the 2 types of anti-brain fog medication I gobble in the morning.

But he's that much of a useless lump

Also too much Lucifer nipple on screen pre-coffee. Ick.

-

Nice recapping of Not The Levitating Fight.

-

NOW

Stock photo Nyoom of the season!! Hi Baby! You aren't in this episode because Eugenie said the car wasn't being used this season

-

Sam's got his Vengeance Eyes on but he's all scruffy and grown up so I trust him 10000% to get the job done.

-

OW. FUCK. OW. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. GOOD USE OF INTERSTITIAL MUSIC

Why were you even listening to Dean's tapes if they fuck you up that badly? IS THIS YOUR VENGEANCE PLAYLIST? I'VE BEEN WAITING 10 YEARS

Actually, I haven't, I binged 4-5-6 as one unit after thinking the show was cancelled during the writers' strike but the point is that Sam and his ipod in 4x01 is immediately in my head because he was listening to his own music and being a hipster douche, but now he is not on demon blood he has not installed an ipod dock because he's GETTING DEAN BACK, DAMMIT but at the same time he's also realising that this means a heavy toll that the only driving music in the car is Dean's stuff...

-

Oh no, this must be the guy from the SDCC clip we hadn't seen because Osric Chau is banned forever for illegally uploading them all for us in the past, and all I know is that Deanchael is going to Fuck Him Up and I feel very bad for him

*raises my mug to Osric* I'm sure you tried, dude. And thanks for the previous years.

-

Hi Deanchael. I noticed in a promo pic that his tie has that sacred geometry type pattern on it which is a detail I made a mental note to type out literally anywhere in the like month between there and here and did not so here it is at a hopefully appropriate place.

Based on every other scene setting detail I suspect that this faithful man is actually still within the USA because this is literally the cabin set they re-use for everything. The spoilers made it sound like Deanchael was globe trotting to raise his army but now I see what's around us... Yeah no he's as focused on the US as every other big bad before.

-

Anyway they really specifically chose this prayer to Allah because of how pointed it was about being only for Allah and how he was the best, so I'm assuming Deanchael is here to be like yo God's gone and I'm your last chance of faith

-

Like just ruin his day and he got up at like 4am or whatever the first prayer is to do it and all

-

I hope, like, no offence to any Muslim viewers or anything >.> They sure play fast and loose with a lot of this stuff because Christian cultures are full of bitter non-believers raised in the culture and looking to kick up at the big guy in the sky, which is not an impression I get that Islam is as used to cultural flippancy, regardless of personal beliefs of residents of predominately Muslim countries and cultures. I'm not 100% sure though, because the closest link I've got is my raised-Christian Iranian friend who applies Christian eye-rolling to the issues with being in Iran and heathen so I still get that perspective of middle fingers up at Organised Religion from our discussions about it all... anyway big diversion, still waiting for coffee to kick in :P I just swallowed the last of it so I can only get more jittery from here on out!

-

It's so fuckin weird to see Dean's face confidently reciting verse in Arabic

I mean you don't need the hat, sir. I get it. It's not you in there.

-

Well so far anyway he's playing on the fact that the guy does pray to god and his angels.

-

Lol @ this man guessing his way through God AND Gabe to Deanchael's annoyance that he's the 3rd guess and he has to clarify that he's the better one.

Man, Gabriel worked on his reputation. I wouldn't have been able to tell you who Michael was because there wasn't even a kid in my class with that name when I was age 4 busy portraying Gabriel in a nativity play with full impish glee that the real deal would have been proud of.

-

Uhoh things aren't looking good for Jamil D: Asking for peace and love is good, you funky little hippy.

Is Deanchael implying that the Syria insurgency is the route to peace? I honestly don't know enough about the American foreign policy politics to know what sort of stance this is though from a liberal leaning show (I mean come on Bobo is a card-carrying socialist, I've seen it on Twitter :P), though to an outside viewer well aware of how fucked up it all is should this have been said on a British program, this is a vast over-simplification.

But we know Michael's main traits are Likes War and then also Warmonger and of course, spoilin' for a fight. So this may be a personal judgement and as much as they're bringing politics into their show I'm just backing right on out and going with this :P That he thinks it is more honourable to stay and fight and that Jamil is a hypocrite for not sticking around to work for peace actively.

-

Oh Jamil hooked up with a woman called Darleen. He is FOR SURE in America.

-

It's so funny to me that Deanchael can fly anywhere and they could have set this anywhere but it still ends up being a wooden cabin in the US. This has to turn out to be a lead to follow with a news report about the poor guy or else this is just hysterical that they couldn't be arsed to mock up even a hint of another country :P

-

He knew all this about Jamil beforehand so I have to assume he's really just here to drag him.

-

Man, that throw was GOOD. I'm assuming they either spent all summer playing with wires and stunts or else they've gone back to the drawing board on all this flinging people around business.

-

"A better world" oh we are so on for this World Without Monsters malarky still. This lines up with the clip from Dean they opened on so well - the dark irony of he and Michael working on the same project but from different angles. Dean wants to sort out monsters and bad things so he can go on a beach, aka his version of paradise, and Mikey wants to smush all the sinners, and clean up the planet, which is HIS version of paradise.

-

HECKIN GOOD TITLE CARD

now photoshop those wings on everyone

-

I LIKE SCRUFFY BULLET MAKER FROM THE AU.

He's like so happy to be in a world where you just casually have resources.

Meanwhile poor Maggie has become the de facto nurse and hates it.

Ugh the Bunker is a place where people just show up who yell "Soup's on!"

In my redshirt betting pool, Soups On is the first guy who dies.

-

Promo sceeeeene

I'm so happy Sam and Mary are doing this together. Last season Sam was so upset that Dean got to have a relationship with her, and he had missed out, but without Dean around - no offence to him - Sam and Mary may be focused on FINDING him but this is the work they also need to do for their relationship to start to ground it in something real. It's taken this long with all the separations, but remember that Mary also worked through some of her issues about Sam only last season in the AU with 6 month old Jack. And if she needed that sort of reminder and relationship to warm her up for Sam, her suddenly-grown 6 month old, then there were still a LOT of underlying issues that dated back to the start for her to overcome. Hopefully this puts them on a level playing field, though there's a new conflict brewing for them, with Mary's determined optimism vs Sam's pessimism, born of that depression from last season that never really got treated or resolved, they just managed to power past its current main triggers. Of course now it all just shifts in a Deanward direction.

-

I love how Ketch has been punted to London, at Buckleming discretion to drag him back. This wasn't even Bobo punting him out the door, and he and Buckleming have a violent back and forth over favourite characters, started in 9x06 with Bobo's very first episode when he banished Professor Morrison forever.

-

MARY TRIES MOMMING SAM TO GO TO BED

THEN SCRUFFY GUN GUY IS LIKE "CHIEF"

Chieeeeeeef.

Sam runs the shooow here and I love it. He's their badass MoL hunter leader, a scruffy saviour from another world.

Given Sam is wearing the same shirt and jacket in the promo pics I'm guessing he does not sleep, though I hope he gets to eat the soup.

-

"Maggie can you hack the traffic cams?" "um. no."

I love and support Maggie. She is a normal person who happened to live in apocalypse world and she just wants to flirt with the guy from the Gas n Go who probably hasn't talked to her since that got blown up and Jack attacked him over her... I mean, this is better than the AU world but maybe she just wants to be normal? Did anyone ask Maggie what she wanted??

-

SAM. You can eat your soup and run things at the same time! Get back here and eat that soup!

-

"yes sir"

Goodness, this is wonderful. Sam's doing what he was born to do, and then not because that was leading a friggin demon army, but then yes because he's got inherent leadership traits that he defers to Dean all the time because, well, he's there, and he's big bro.

Look, sometimes you need big bro to murder Satan's ass for you forever, but you also should be calling the shots. There's a balance here, where Dean can be the older brother, but Sam can be the boss. Work/life balance. Dean's got your back but you command an army of hunters, like we've all been salivating over since like season 8 when they first said the MoL ran the Bunker as the hub of operations dictating stuff to trusted hunters and the like.

Of course, if Sam is the Bobby here, then who is the AUBobby? I hope we see what's up with that soon, I've been wanting them to bristle those beards in an alpha way at each other for months, because AUBobby was their leader before Sam because Sir Chief.

-

"Sam."

"i'm good"

*mothering intensifies*

"i'm GOOD"

*mothering intensifies*

"How's Jack"

You aren't used to being mothered and it's murdering me completely to my soul. Dean's got SO MUCH MOTHERING all through the show compared to you. He even sees Jody as a mom friend while you crush on her like crazy so you haven't even got that!!!!

Because Chief Sam is the boss of this lot but at the SAME TIME he's getting all these soft tender mom moments he's never got to have before. It's a wonderful balance of nuances to his current life. He's overworked but surrounded by a supportive care team that respects him, gives him soup, and holds his hand, literally in Mary's case. And yet he's the scruffy macho competent boss who knows how to call all these shots, deputise, set up missions, but still knows more than them, how to do traffic cams, I'm sure years of lore over most of these hunters who only learned to deal with what got thrown at them in the apocalypse by trial and error because when do they get lore books? Mary and Bobby and other pre-apocalypse hunters would be few and far between to offer competent training to a populace suddenly all turned hunter.

-

Oh, AUBobby is beating up Jack. Perfect.

-

AAAH DIRECTED BY TJW

WAS NOT ADEQUATELY HOLDING ONTO SEAT

WARN A GIRL

-

I love finally seeing the training room but I'm deeply conscious that this is where Put Up Your Dukes starts and I can't get that fan fic out my mind so I'm just like, Jack, don't lie on the floor, your dads have banged there.

-

I'm so happy that AUBobby is nurturing a grandson, because this is the difference between him and Bobby - that our Bobby had that with Sam n Dean, but AUBobby never did. Though he DID have Mary Campbell to crush on, I doubt it would have softened him and rounded out the harsh places in his soul the same way raising Sam and Dean did, because he had an unrequited love and she hadn't gotten over John, while this recently widowed Mary Winchester actually has made better progress just because of the circumstances of the loss. Anyways Jack has no preexisting history with Bobby so there's nothing weird about him and AUBobby stepping into a nurturing relationship, that Sam n Dean would find uncomfortable in a way, given their relationship with Bobby. And Jack gets yet another strong figure to teach and guide him.

AUBobby looks slim and stands tall compared to Bobby, which I'm largely putting down to posture, and not being drowned in layers. I like this difference - Bobby almost never voluntarily dressed in 1 layer, but AUBobby has a more military slant, and this training sergeant routine with Jack is a good fit to show a difference in his character, that isn't surly old Bobby behind his desk, that he's involved in teaching Jack to fight, rather than helping hunters with lore and swigging whiskey.

I'd assume given the lack of availability in his AU, he's considerably less alcohol dependant, so this is a very different character thing. If Bobby were doing this training, and nothing else was different, he'd be taking a breather to pour them both a whiskey as he imparts wisdom.

-

Demon in nice shoes and dark sunglasses at night to indicate that yes I am a demon I have black eyes :P I assume this is a demon anyway not just because of this detail but pre-season spoilers

-

Ah hearing Cas's name is enough to make my heart pick up. MY GUY!

But then, "Castiel, darling"

Stop trying to make Good Omens happen, it's not going to happen. You can't just "darling" up to an angel and expect that good good romance. Crowley took years to wear Cas down and Cas never actually LIKED him, down to their last real interaction where Cas was just "WTF???? LEAVE ME TO ROT AND DIE" when Crowley saved him in 12x12

-

God I miss that

-

"Oh god."

Same, buddy.

You do, however, realise this is your first words of the season gifset line, though?

Someone ought to write to Dabb and inform him that people make first and last word gifsets and to be more careful.

Especially if in the last episode at the end of the season, Cas's last word is "Dean"

-

Anyway Cas has said 1 line and I can tell he's on top form. Unlike 10x01 he's in a hipster hogroast joint.

-

This demon, with dark black sunglasses inside at night (douchebag) just ordered a coffee, black. WE GET IT, ENOBY DEMENTIA DARKNESS RAVEN WAY, YOU ARE GOFFIC AND IT'S AS BLACK AS YOUR SOUL

-

LOL Cas is sitting under the JACK'S sign.

Demon douche sits under Schultz, which is the death beer. And lemme tell you, TJW is well-versed in this. So well-versed in it he's sat Cas in front of a classic El Sol flyer with the subtle touch required to tell Dean that Cas is his dream girl. He knows his shit.

-

This seriously seems to be implying that the rise of hipster food joints is an effort from Hell to spread chaos on earth

-

Cas sitting with his back to the fire is such an interesting visual, but this is just a note to self for later to guess what it all means

-

THIS FUCKIN DEMON TOOK  HIS BLACK SUNGLASSES OFF TO SHOW OFF HIS BLACK EYES

Dabb is so good at incidental characters, and making me hate this guy for nuanced nonsensical reasons is amazing. This is... art...

-

This is a callback to 5x08 and Dean ranting about hating procedural cop shows then him and sam taking their sunglasses on and off at night every time they made  a pun and I'm 100% convinced since 12x01 and Cas busting through that Mystery Spot sign that Gabriel has been subtly influencing events

-

Okay so we know exactly what is written on demon bathroom walls. I'm taking that as a sideways confirmation that Cain knew full well that Dean had his Colette because he'd seen crude doodles of them doing it

Anyway douchedemon just outright told Cas that all the demons assume he and Dean in particular are banging. Not that Cas bangs Winchesters, as some have implied, without knowing all the details. They've narrowed this info down.

I assume this is also in the Winchester Dossier that Barthamus studied from before meeting them. I love that demons probably do have a filing cabinet somewhere of all the notable assholes they run into in their work, and the Winchesters take up a whole cabinent, but the refresher file summarising them in a paragraph if you don't have time is like, Sam: Lazy boyking, will stab you. Dean: fucking Castiel, will stab you.

-

Cas doesn't even move an eyebrow. Incredible.

-

Cas rarely gets hit with these compared to Dean in the history of the show, and Dean is full of bluster or anger or confusion or alarmed eyebrows. Cas is like... no. fuck you. i'm party!Cas, I have my shit in order.

Though this is from a demon. It's an entirely different thing when Heaven is involved, as they also have their dossier on the winchesters.

Sam: abomination. will banish you. Dean: fucking Castiel. Will stab you.

-

*loud coffee slurp* "what's in it for moi?

Cas, stab him. Stab him now. This is not worth the information. You can find another guy.

-

I'm starting to think Cas with his back to the flames is his unwitting danger from this hellish hogroast place.

-

They use Shultz beer containers to hold the sauces and menus on the table. DEEEEATH

-

Cas speaking slower and threatening to burn him to ash "right here and right now"

this is a gifset that will get a lot of notes from thirsty Cas fans

-

Whaaaaaaaa the entire joint turned out to be owned by and filled with demons who would ever have guessed based on one open fire and that metal hogs head from the promo pics :P

-

Stop hurting him!!!! Misha can't stage fight! This is really unfair!!

I wonder how the poor new awesome fight coordinator took to Misha

"let's just... um..." "hide him behind all these demons?" TJW suggests The fight guy nods sadly.

-

Aww Sister Jo got back to work. Good for her.

-

Sister Jo has no fear and can stroll down a shady alley counting her money

*t-shirt meme* One fear: *flappy wing noises*

"Hey Jo."

-

GHOLY SHIT TRUE FORMS TYHUEOJDSHGFSH DS TRUE FORMS WE SEE WHAT ANGELS SEEE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD SCIENCE HAS CAUGH T UP TO THE DIVINE, SPN CAN FINALL Y SHOW US WHAT ANGELS SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-

Holy shit I want the gif of this as my blog header. That's shitting amazing.

-

Burning HALO

ALL HIS CHI POINTS LIT UP EVEN WHEN IT MAKES IT LOOK SILLY TO HAVE HIS CALVES GLOWING

-

I wonder if this is what Danneel sees when she looks at Jensen all the time

-

"Why would he say yes to you?"

"Love"

I'm dying and I am dead. I gather that Dean is 100% absent from this episode, but that one comment puts him front and centre and I am in paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain. Everything happening around Michael and because of Michael is because Dean loves his peeps. From Sam staying up hacking traffic cams on vampires to Cas getting his ass handed to him by demons.

-

I bet Cas looks like that single glowstick he had on in the cave when angels look at him.

-

Party!Cas

-

I ruined the fun

-

Jensen gently touches Danneel's face and that's just rude because that's all his tenderness for his wife being turned into a scary villain move between Deanchael and Jo. Don't do this to them!!!

-

Oooof Deanchael pulls from Dean's memory of Anael about what she was like, describing her in the most Cas-like terms, then cuts through her hilarious bull about wanting handbags (this is so meta about sticking middle fingers in the faces of people who think she's a well-paid beard) and then starts telling her she wants love and a family.

Deanchael has used the word "love" twice in a scene and it's horrifying to see the word come out of his face, when Dean is so guarded. Now Deanchael is just looking through Sister Jo and analysing what she wants - and she's playing this game very well but this move of his might still beat her. Because ow. Telling her she wants belonging and family. When she's very much established as a Cas mirror by the reminder she ran away from Heaven and doesn't want to play by their rules.

"It's very, very human of you. And so disappointing." Did all those times Lucifer sucked her grace bring her close to feeling it? To the point of permanent damage? I only ask because I know another guy this might apply to.

-

I wonder how much Deanchael is projecting based on conjectures because he knows Cas through Dean's eyes.

-

"But if they're all these sad, lost, fallen things..." Ya, that's Cas too for suresies

-

SAM AND JACK SAM AND JACK

Jack sitting quietly in meditation, clearly unsettled. A parallel to 13x23 when Dean came rushing in to him having a nightmare, now Sam is having a crack at parenting the boy.

-

Jack lying about how things were fine. Nougat. Hon. You're human now. But not that good at being human. Sam knows your tells :P

-

Sam interrupted mid pep-talk by Mary with some nonsense.

Jack is always so ugh... accepting and kinda flippant. He knows parental figures can be disappointing and get dragged away mid peptalk by some business.

Which he's apparently not involved in. I guess after we see him going on hunts with them in 13x23, he's grounded until he goes through basic training so not only is he useless to help with his powers to find Dean, but he can't even do the easy hunter stuff because he's just a kid.

-

Aww my poor baby Nougat :( He's so angsty. He's a TEEN. Lookit him! All growed up!

-

Uuugh I guess this is Nick. "I didn't talk to him. I can barely look at him."

What I'm getting from this sequence mainly is the sound of Triss's rage at the Bunker layout.

-

*Mary pats Sam's shoulder supportively and walks off*

You're on your own, Chief.

-

Ugh I am not ready for this bull if it's Nick but I have to keep watching to be sure :P

-

Ew it is. EW. What does Mark P HAVE on you all.

At least TJW is shooting the heck out of this to show us how gross Sam finds this all.

Sam's shadow falling over Nick.

I really want to know how this bullshit happened. And yet. No, not really.

-

Oh gross AND they're making Mark P take off his shirt. The nipple I didn't want to see in the Road So Far was not warning enough.

Pre-season ugh speculation was that whatever Crowley did to Nick made him stronger and more permanent apparently even than Lucifer being stabbed out of him.

-

So yeah anyway I guess Jack is in part also sulking about this and I'm with him, because Sam being pulled away from their pep talk time to deal with Gross Man Associated With My Father But Not Actually Him Because Biologically I Am The Son Of A Non-Historical President...

-

Making Sam the one who has to care for Nick is utterly cruel. He has so many deputies. Maybe this is just his personal fear that Nick's still a bit Lucifery. Maybe he just sees this as a gross burden, a manifestation of the ongoing trauma from Lucifer, that even when he's dead he lingers.

-

Plus, it's giving us some reassurance that an angel can be ousted from a vessel without killing them, to throw some options into the Deanchael pot.

-

Still. Nick. Really.

-

I bet Jack is sulking because some little cosmic part of him regenerating deep down in his core, that one lil gold glowy chi point in his big toe, knows that Eugenie forgot his name at SDCC and called him "Nick" and this shit from your creator just weighs on you. Jack is an entity beyond Buckleming and yet born from them, and this is what they beget: forgetting their own child in favour of this old carcass.

-

bitter? moi? *sips coffee noisily*

-

Actually, that's not true but I need some tea because I'm sulky so I'm taking this ragebreak to go make some and then I will sip it noisily in Nick's direction. :P

-

Everything henceforth is under the jurisdiction of hot drink no.2

-

"I don't understand how Lucifer could die and I could live"

I hate you

Eurgh, I bet you anything Dabb pulled a Buckleming and just took the post-it note they gave him when he asked, er, HOW does this happen? and transliterated it into dialogue because 1: all the writers shade Buckleming all the time because I can literally see it ooze out of Perez and Yockey and Bobo's writing but this is the showrunner, guyses. 2: it's such a dumbass convoluted explanation that it only burns out the archangel but if you non-fatally stab it then the guy is fine.

Which begs the question of how the fuck is Gabriel because if we get anything good from this, that fucker is in one hell of an interesting vessel situation compared to Old Nick.

-

PS: I am not sure how culturally saturated this is so we are all clear that Old Nick is a historically used name for Satan and his name has been a joke since 5x01 thanks to Kripke, and now we have to actually deal with that.

-

And then Nick is actually sympathetic to how Sam feels looking at him. I guess Mark P really wants us to feel sympathetic to his new dude.

-

"And Michael... did he tell Lucifer anything about his plan?"

Listen, we NEED acknowledgement that for a month or so Lucifer and AUMichael roadtripped together to assemble from their AU the key of solomon, the fruit of the tree of life, and the blood of a most holy man.

There was a lengthy downtime while people settled in and Dean was allowed to think the Good Times were rolling, and all that time, the weirdest brother roadtrip show ever was going on in the AU, mad enough that I would actually find it hilarious to watch despite enduring Mark P as a result of it.

-

SAM DOES NOT DESERVE THIS

He's not allowed to rest, ever.

-

I bet this is douchdemon phoning him from Cas's phone.

-

"Hello Sam!" says a perky voice down the phone. It's INCREDIBLE how unlikeable this demon is making himself. He's actually my favourite character now.

-

Oh no, Nougat is wearing a different grey shirt. He's really depressed. Someone help him.

-

"He just told you he was a demon?" "he seemed proud of it too"

Sam hates him as well. I can't wait for Sam to come scowl at him.

-

"What do we do?" Maggie asks, completely wide-eyed. Oh honey. Poor, innocent, sheltered Maggie. What were you doing all apocalypse until we caught up with you? You aren't hardened, you're adorable.

-

AUBobby and Rufus (his gun)

-

"I'm coming too!" YAY JACK. Your father is in trouble, he's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days, but what a different world all the rest is

-

"I'm not as strong, but I can help," he says, looking tiny beside Sam, bruised up from AUBobby's training, a single layer to make him look even smaller...

(we do not talk enough about how all these jackets are a sort of alpha being shoulder plumping thing like when you make yourself look huge to scare off a mountain lion but that's 100% what this is)

IT MADE JACK SMILE yey he's allowed to feel useful! Pop is allowing him to go on a mission to rescue Dad who was looking for Papa when this all went down.

Grandpapa is not so pleased, because AUBobby has been measuring how useful Jack is and I feel like lil Nougat bab is going to do something mildly heroic for Cas or else get pasted for his ongoing character development for the season...

-

"He needs this, Bobby."

-

Dear LORD does he not quit? We don't even know his name? "Are you sure I can't get you anything... hot... or black?" FUck OFF

No wonder by the promo pic Cas looked so utterly done. This is exhaustingly annoying for him. Cas's personal hell is just irritating people. A line of Crowleys and Lucifers and this jerkwad chattering at him.

-

And yet Dean runs his mouth all the time and Cas is in luuuurve

-

Oh lordy are we really doing this coffee metaphor now? "Coffee has no effect on me" (but he once acquired the taste, and it was a core part of him being human and learning to human in the opening shot of 9x06 for him as his metaphor for how he was learning)

"me either *sluuuurp* not any more. But it's like saltwater taffy or infants. I just like the taste."

-

"I'm just being a good host like mother would have wanted"

Cas stops mid eyeroll to eyeroll HARDER at meeting ANOTHER demon with mommy issues. Like, please. Don't. I like Rowena now but can we NOT.

-

Party!Cas of Dabb era is my favourite iteration of Cas by a country mile.

-

"Why are you using me as bait?" "it's kind of what you're for"

Oh Cas. Now he's just the damsel in distress, which I guess is a step up from being an attack dog, but still isn't that great for the ego stroking about his role and use within the Winchester family, an ongoing source of stress for him, this reminds us.

-

Cas's faith in Sam is wonderful. like, as soon as douchmon says he needs something from Sam, Cas just SMIRKS like, OH BUDDY. BUDDDYYY. No, I'm not gonna say it. I'm just - "you think he'd make a deal with you?" I'm ... I don't laugh as a rule but inside? Hilarious.

-

"Somebody asked me what it was that I wanted" You know, I think Deanchael is INCITING people. he's not killing any of them, just using the revelation of his appearance to motivate them - moving Sister Jo to do what she wants, which is to re-organise Heaven with the ideas she had as a button pushing functionary... visiting world leaders and holy men, and this douche...

To what end, though? Chaos? This is a roundabout way to make a better world.

-

"Destroying, Drinking, Defiling, you know, the 3 Ds" they absolutely have posters up in Hell with this on for the newbies to learn.

-

We've seen Heaven's staffroom, I DEMAND to see the break room in Hell, with all its lurid Destiel smut doodled on the walls and so on

-

Anyway it's a hell of a question, pun intended, because demons have no real purpose, even the named baddies have largely been slaves to someone else's will (Lucifer or Crowley) and Crowley could not have answered that question from the start of season 6 through to the moment he chose to sacrifice himself... I don't think any of TFW 2.0 or Bunker Squad could answer it fully. Cas can't, and that's the question that's been bugging him since 9x06 -

EPHRAIM Shh-shh-shhh. It'll be over soon. I'll take the pain away.

CASTIEL I want to live.

EPHRAIM But as what, Castiel? As an angel? or a man?

and it's what his entire crisis in season 10 was over... Who ARE you Castiel? What do you WANT?

-

Dean wants a Beach Vacation Ending. He figured it out and as narrative punishment, he's Deanchael. No one else has sorted it out, though, but Sam got close - he had his pizza dream and was immediately punished with being eaten by vampires and resurrected by Lucifer and all that drama... Sam's work isn't done. Though his growth has taken a huge leap, now he has to figure out what he wants in this NEW setting, and we're only just MEETING Chief Sam in this iteration, so he's got a lot of work to do.

-

"I gave it a good think and I worked out exactly what I wanted. Everything."

Deanchael definitely is planning for this, so watch out buddy.

-

SAM DRIVING, MOM IN SHOTGUN

RED ALERT

-

Uhoh Sam's snapped because of the optimism Mary exudes. Yep, he really was nearly at the last straw in their earlier convo when he scoffed at her attempts to cheer him up.

Look, she's trying to mom you with no experience except adopting Jack. Work with her.

-

Sam is spiralling with the depression, this time all the bad things that could have happened to Dean and how they're never going to find him, throwing these horrible scenarios at Mary to stop her trying to comfort him.

-

"I know. I know he's out there, scared and alone." She sees lil 4 year old Dean. Because, I mean, that is the soul Dean bears to her when they have moments sometimes. And her optimism is a wall against thinking of her toddler in this scenario.

"I know. I know he might not come back. Never think I don't know that. But I can't - I have to think about the good, Sam. Because if I don't, I will drown in the bad." I wonder who that directly relates to who is currently driving this car.

I really hope this is a bit of vindication for Mary - or redemption to the eyes of the people who don't like her - that she does care, and she's spelling out her approach to all this. In the start of season 12 when she was trying to keep afloat she used a lot of optimism and furious paddling on the surface, because she has been doing that her whole life. When she was being raised a hunter, when she was a housewife with no clue what she was doing, a mom but he marriage beginning to fall apart... And then thrust into the present day, and it's 360 degrees of combat and loss and sadness and a ill-advised hook up with Ketch... Furious doggy paddling on the surface.

"For Dean's sake, I can't do that. We can't do that." And she shows that she is prioritising Dean, that she's driven and motivated to keep going FOR him.

Come on, give her a chance.

-

Nyooom.

-

Meanwhile in the Jack and Bobby truck, Jack is the one angsting and Bobby is the one driving.

Jack is one years old and not legally old enough to drive.

-

Bobby peptalks him with the reminder that when Jack had his grace he did hero things for these people, which is why he can ride shotgun, and even if he feels useless now, they'll have his back, that he has earned this squad even if he can't be as awesome as he used to.

-

Maggie is like, I'm getting a reaction shot... Am I going to develop feelings for Jack? That would be super weird, he's one years old. I hope no one is implying this even though I'm in a bunch of scenes getting character focus.

-

Eeeeeeee Sam trusts Mary with the demon killing knife. I am sure they don't call it Ruby's knife to her and he has never, ever told her about that time that thing happened with Ruby.

-

This fucker had his back turned for Sam to enter just so he could turn around dramatically. God he's repellent.

-

An extra was hired to pat Sam down. What a job.

-

"The shoulders. The hair! You are my Beyonce!" I mean, same. Except. Cas is Agent Beyonce so this fuckhead has totally misread this situation.

This gives Sam a moment to look over at Cas and Cas silently says, yes I know he's a total fuckhead, I've been dealing with this all day. I'm so sorry bro, can you just stab him so we can go home and follow a different lead. I don't even care what this one knows, I can't handle him another minute.

-

"I'm more embarrassed than I am hurt" I understand this to my core, and I'm so sorry, Cas.

-

"Kipling. Kip for short."

"Cool. Kip. I'm here." Sam being exactly as "fuck you" as I wanted towards Kip.

Sam is now standing with his head in an El Sol sign. TJW what are you up to bud?

-

Oh no Jack and Maggie got caught skulking. Sam and Cas have the same "my boy!" reaction when they see Cas.

Maggie is here too, you monsters.

But Kip has missed Mary and AUBobby

-

"It's just late capitalism, you understand" Yeah, and fuck you Kip.

-

How is Kip so irritating that he can make tapping a stool somehow the most obnoxious thing a man could do? He's WONDERFULLY well-cast. I love this actor. He's chewing scenery and it's incredible.

-

"What do you want?" Ow, Sam being twisted into asking the same thing Deanchael asked Kip

-

"Ass-modeus Kentucky Fried" listen you are still the worst but that drew a sympathetic smile and I hate it and I hate you.

-

Oh, Sam just Sammed something from that side glance, random demon side-eye. Oooh. Oooooooh.

But yeah, Kip asking for the "Crowley Deal" as if it's a package that can be bought from the Winchesters, and not something that Crowley wormed his way into via much back and forth power plays and drama. The Winchester have always had a back and forth with Hell, and since Crowley there have been a lot of demons, like Bart, trying to figure out what exactly it WAS that they all had. But someone has to be in charge, and the Winchesters are the top dog destined hunters with their fingers  in all the world-saving pies, so clashes come naturally. Approaching them like this, first Bart, now this douchenozzle, is meta, presumptuous, overstepping what builds naturally... An attempt to leapfrog to the end where the equilibrium is established.

But Crowley had time to build a long game. These new pretenders are working in a world where the Winchesters' actions have devastated Heaven and Hell alike, and are, like Mary, just trying to keep afloat on the whole thing.

"We never gave Crowley that deal." Because yes, that's how it seemed to play out, and from outsider eyes that's how it may have looked... But each and every interaction came about naturally through the plot, there was no wrangling it. That's just how the Winchesters and Crowley ended up.

And that hole can't be filled by someone just leaping into the chair and asking for it.

Though it is nice if Motown Meats is the new seat of Hell on Earth instead of the outdated exterior asylum interior castle dungeon look Crowley set up.

-

"You're no Crowley. I know that. So do they." I think that was what Sam Sammed out of the demons, and also true, and ALSO is this the boyking accidentally exerting himself, knowing what's good for Hell? I always get a lil tingle in my thumbs when Sam gets too involved in knowing what's up with Hell.

-

Holy shit Kipling was a Mongolian warlord who rode with Genghis Khan in life. PLEASE survive this episode, I want to hate you all season. PLEAAAASE I BEG YOU.

-

Oh my god this insecure whinging asshole, chowing down on the scenery like there's no tomorrow. "I'D EAT YOUR HEART" *turns to weepy and quiet* "before I show you who I really am..."

This is Eddie Redmayne in Jupiter Ascending levels of scenery eating. He's gonna pick up a barstool and take a bite out of it now.

-

Sam is doing this all unarmed, which is something to remember, because this is the fucker who talked his way into killing the Alpha Vamp while MOSTLY unarmed for a majority of that chat.

-

Sam Fucking Winchester.

-

AUBOBBY AND RUFUS!!!!

Also mary.

-

But AUBobby gets a slow mo for Rufus shooting demons.

-

HOLY SHIT MARY'S SLOW MO

I am pregnant

-

MARY THROWING SAM THE KNIFE

-

TJW was like this fight is too fast, my guy. We need to slow it down.  You're so good at your job no one's gonna see what happened unless we go slow mo.

he and the fight guy high five

-

"Aw, balls."

Hey, Nougat tried. He's got a squishy hero centre.

Looks like he weighs nothing and now he's human he goes down in one punch. Owie.

-

"Here take this. You know how to use it?" "Uh! Stab them with the pointy end!?" "pretty much"

Maggie you precious girl why are you HERE. Why is Soups On or Gnarly Gun Guy not here?

-

Cas you fucking damsel in distress

-

Fight guy is like "uuuuh do I have to"

Misha is like "I'm good here, tbh"

-

SAM FUCKING WINCHESTER

(Aw, Kip's dead, he was fun)

-

"ENOUGH"

YES SIR

-

"There will be NO NEW KING OF HELL"

You are gonna get demon minions like fucking ducklings you ass

-

"Not ever. And if anyone wants the job, you can come through me" Sam is technically immortal so long as Rowena is alive and vice versa you know. Also, how long is he planning on defending Hell? Ever?

I'm stalling from how much I have to scream about how badass Sam was throwing down that declaration that he's now essentially the trial a pretender to the throne has to pass to take the job.

Because if I was a demon... FUCK NO would I want to tangle with this fucker.

-

Sam's file, updated: Current King Of Hell. Will Kill You. AVOID.

-

Sam is fucking terrifying. I love it. He scared demons out of their meatsuits. Sam walking into a room is now a reason to eject and abort mission. God. This guy.

-

Remember in season 1 when demons were scary? Oo er this isn't our sort of thing... halp.

Now Sam looks them in the eye and is like, fuck off. I'm scarier than any of you.

-

"That's what I thought"

Cas is literally giving you the reverse look of in 4x16 when you marched in and fried Alastair's brain.

-

SAM GOT A NEW SHIRT thank god.

I should amend: he did all this wearing blue plaid with orange stripes.

Sam Fucking Winchester.

The BMoL definitely didn't have the right birth certificate because that's his legal middle name.

-

Sam n Caaaaas my GUYS. I hope this is the 10x01 convo but, like, not. Flip flip flip those pancakes, Dabb my guy.

-

Cas, hon, you're still so beat up you have blood trails coming out of your nose. There's not really caring about your meatsuit because it heals eventually, but there's also washing your fucking face, because Sam's had time to change his shirt and get a beer so what were you doing?

-

Probably staring at a picture of Dean on his phone and sighing.

-

Anyway he's here to ask how Sam is, rather than care about himself. Symbolism.

"I've been better. And worse." Worse is 10x01.

Or 4x10's flashbacks. For sure those are the worstest.

Though, this time you are the king of hell and you're wearing a dark shirt and I don't think you have thought this through.

-

The most well-meaning accidental king of hell ever.

-

Sam and Cas share the "to find Dean I'd do anything" look. Be CAREFUL. Cas is literally choosing to wear hubris on his face because he feels bad about his fuck up with going to Kip.

-

Mary! Casual Mary chilling in the kitchen!!

Although, with everyone in the bunker, these rooms are taking on different meanings. The people are chasing out the heavy shadows and ghosts of all the oppressive silences Sam and Dean have filled these corners with.

-

Aw it's Mary and AUBobby. I was half-hoping we'd have her giving beer to Jack, but I guess we need to set up the forward momentum on their relationship for this season.

"Not bad today, old man." "you too, Sunshine."

You do realise that Mary is sitting in the exact same spot as where Dean was when he called Cas "Sunshine" You do know that right I mean you KNOW? This is TJW, he knows. He's a Destiel Shipper of the highest order.

-

Cas pops in on Jack, staring at his busted up face in a mirror, now filling more Winchester angst tropes to make up for lost time. "I'm fine," he says without being asked.  Because 10x01 or 10x02 was where Cas defined "fine" for Hannah and explained to her it's what humans say when things are really not fine but they can't admit it.

-

"You did well." "All I did was get punched. In the face."

I love snarky teen Jack.

"To be fair, we all got punched in the face," Cas says, still covered in hubris.

He has a POINT. He has full right to pull the "I should feel more useless than you" card on Jack.

-

Jack doing the "i'm useless" thing that Cas had to go through when he lost his grace, and Jack was allowed to stay in the Bunker. Is this how Cas would have felt had he not been kicked out?

-

Jack says Michael's out there and he still feels responsible to stop him. There's a very, very very very ver very weird Hamlet vibe from Jack, being forced into a position of emotional responsibility to kill his uncle, but Cas is his once dead now back and not a ghost father, and Jack couldn't kill Michael and so Dean got possessed... I mean, it's not a neat overlay, but Jack wants to kill an uncle, an AUncle, and I feel like in terms of uncle-killing narratives, AU Michael making off with Dean fits about as well to Hamlet's uncle marrying his mom as we're gonna get... I'd love to see how this shapes out because these family narratives since season 11 are becoming deeply shakespearean in the amount of nonsense going on. This sort of supernatural drama is a modern world way to have this kind of heightened emotion and the stakes you find in Shakespearean tragedies, and to force the sorts of reflection on the world and self... I really really dig it. Watching season 13 yesterday really hit me with this feeling all over and I'm delighted that Jack has this arc because I'm so amused/interested to see where this weirdo Hamlet parallel goes for him.

-

"I don't have anything." "Oh Jack" thanks Cas that's what I said out loud "you have me. You have all of us. You have your family." *SHOULDER GRASP*

No hug. Fuck off Cas, with your reassuring shoulder grasps. I know that's the language you've been taught but Dabb era is hug era and you suck.

-

I love that with all of Sam and Mary's doubt and Jack's lack of self worth, it's down to CAS. CASTIEL. CASTIEL WINCHESTER. CASTIEL FUCKING WINCHESTER. PARTY!CAS. to give the actual pep talk of the episode which has ANY conviction behind it. Cas has been fuelled with something MAGNIFICENT since the Empty, and he's turned it up to 11 for Jack here :')

-

Jack makes the smallest smile, then turns back to his mirror.

-

Sam opening the door to his bedroom, framed in darkness. 10x01 parallels again - this shot as well as the demon dean one were repeated a few times through the 3 episode arc, and the demon dean one became iconic but Sam did it too, to Dean's room. Now he goes into his own... empties his pockets... he still has the fucking engraved money clip from Tall Tales because Gabriel is not only not dead but telling this entire story for us... He has the phone, that's off, because Dean is not there, not communicating with him, blah blah. And he has the keys to the Impala. Because he's the chief.

Well, the King of Hell. Damn, it took 14 years to get him there. Azazel is fucking spinning in his grave.

-

Ooh, phonecall! Is it Deanchael? "What do you want?"

Nope, it's Sister Jo! :D She's been standing there ALL NIGHT weighing her options and working out what she wants.

SPIN THAT CHAOS, DEANCHAEL.

-

Deanchael approaches a vampire, and it's that purity of Purgatory, that just wanna eat that fuelled so much of the badass stuff in season 7 with the Leviathan, everything Dean's struggled with when it comes to the black and white world of killing monsters no problem that dates back to Gordon in 2x03, that draws Deanchael to them. Because this is Dean's safe space with Benny, a real relationship based on a bond forged in pure, kill or be killed, eat or be eaten purgatory. Deanchael has the same inner machinery as Dean, because Michael is the worst version of Dean, engineered to be Dean but without love. Dean as a monster. And so it all leads here... D:

-

Well this will be fun :D

[meme-aesthetics]

what memes had to do to us: breakdown for the meme-illiterate

What is a meme?

We talk about them all the time, but does anyone actually know how to define a meme? The most common form of meme is the image macro (pictures that get passed around with edited text/captions on them). But what about reaction gifs, planking/dabbing, Photoshop memes, Twitter hashtags, etc.? The image macro is only one kind of meme, though it’s the most archetypal kind of meme there is. How would one define “meme” in a way that encompasses all of these?

Time to dive into meme theory.

I’ll be basing this first part on a paper called “The Anonymity of a Murmur: Internet (and Other) Memes” by Simon J. Evnine. According to Evnine, a meme is a set of norms (Evnine 308). Or, more specifically:

Memeₒₙₜ: A meme is an abstract artefact made out of norms.

Meme𝒸ₒₙ: M is a meme if and only if M is made, as part of memographic practice, out of norms for producing things as parts of that memographic practice.  (Evnine 315)

Where memeₒₙₜ = meme (ontological) and meme𝒸ₒₙ = meme (conceptual).

The ontological is just a more general definition answering what kind of category a meme falls under, while the conceptual specifies the exact thing within that category. For example: What is a teenager? Teenagerₒₙₜ = A person. Teenager𝒸ₒₙ = A person from the ages of 13-19 (Evnine 304).

Now...Unless you’ve read the paper, chances are that means next to nothing to you. Let’s break it down, starting with the ontological definition.

By "artefact", Evnine is referring to the result of someone imposing a concept onto some sort of matter in an intentional act of creation (Evnine 314). Basically, if you take matter and have a specific concept of what you want to make out of it, then go and intentionally create that thing out of that matter, you have an artefact. The meme is an “abstract” artefect because the "matter" it is made of is a set of norms—aka, it is made out of something that is not real.

How is a meme made out of “norms”? Well, take for example the distracted boyfriend meme, one example of the image macro. For the meme-illiterate, an example meme:

(Source x)

The “norms” of the distracted boyfriend meme is to use this picture, place text over the three figures, and have the relationship between the 3 labelled figures be that the boyfriend is distracted by/appears to prefer the girl in red over the girl in blue, who is presumably the girlfriend.

Now for the conceptual definition.

Meme𝒸ₒₙ: M is a meme if and only if M is made, as part of memographic practice, out of norms for producing things as parts of that memographic practice. 

“Memographic practice” is kind of like the "meta-level" activity around a meme (Evnine 305). It is the process of sharing it, recreating it, riffing upon it, transforming it, etc.

Here are some examples of the distracted boyfriend meme that participate in memographic practice, which I found just by searching “distracted boyfriend meme” on Tumblr:

(Source x)

(Source x)

(Source x)

So basically, a meme is something that someone intentionally makes by imposing the concept of a "meme" onto a set of norms that were already pre-defined by memographic practice for the purpose of continuing memographic practice. Continuing the tradition, so to speak. 

What about the first instance of a meme? When/how does a meme actually become a meme? Evnine has an answer for that, too. The first instance of a meme, i.e. the first time someone used the distracted boyfriend picture before there was memographic practice surrounding it to establish it as a meme, is part of a more general instance of meme that the Evnine calls MEME (Evnine 313).

MEME is just a meme𝒸𝒸 that results from the overall general existence of memographic practice, where meme𝒸𝒸 = meme common contents (a specific kind of meme, like the distracted boyfriend meme), and memeᵢ = one instance of a meme𝒸𝒸 (the example meme that I showed above).

So MEME covers initial instances of different kinds of meme𝒸𝒸 by being an overall meme𝒸𝒸 where its norms is the existence of memographic practice in general.

A diagram I made to illustrate this concept:

Additionally, a memeᵢ need not comply with all the norms in meme𝒸𝒸 (Evnine 317). For example, other photos of the same people in the original distracted boyfriend picture can be used, or a completely different picture could be substituted in if the relationship and positioning of the figures in that picture are recognizably similar to that of the original picture. Sometimes it isn’t text that is put on the figures, but the heads of characters from someone’s favorite show.

Some more examples:

(Source x)

(Source x)

(Source x)

The point is, not all of the norms must be followed—just enough for it to be recognizably part of that meme𝒸𝒸 tradition. Thus, the norms within meme𝒸𝒸 may change/transform over time (Evnine 318).

So that’s what a meme is. Or at least, one conception of what a meme could be. What about memes in the wild? How do they function, what is their appeal?

-

How memes work

What’s unique about memes, then, isn’t that they’re participatory, or that they remix visuals and stock figures. What makes a meme a meme instead of a cartoon, a joke, or a fad is...a meme is an atom of internet culture...Creating, sharing, or laughing at a meme is staking a claim to being an insider: I am a member of internet culture it says, and if you don’t get this, then you aren’t (McCulloch, location 3668) 

The above quote is from Gretchen McCulloch’s Because Internet: Understanding the New Rules of Language (which, by the way, I highly recommend.) 

The in-jokes, the drawing of boundaries between those who “get it” and those who don’t, the group-bonding—that, is essentially, the heart of memes.

According to McCulloch, the internet is a “third place”:

The first place is home, the second place is work, but people also need a third place to socialize that’s neither home nor work, like a coffeeshop (McCulloch, location 3161)

This makes the internet a major site for linguistic change and innovation. It’s a place where people who may not have had pre-existing strong ties come together and socialize or exchange ideas. This aspect of the internet is also what allows the meme to thrive: ideas that catch move fast, and they spread further than they would have if they were otherwise confined in tightly-knit groups.

However, despite the fact that the internet functions on a network of (mainly) loose connections (I’m not saying that internet friends aren’t real friends—I’m simply referring to the fact that you probably follow more people and have more mutuals than you have internet friends), memes gain popularity because they create a sense of community.

Popular posts tended to strike a balance between somewhat obscure but not too cryptic—in-jokes and references that appealed strongly to a distinct subset of people (McCulloch, location 3292)

But what makes a popular post a meme? After all, it’s not as though any post that reaches a certain number of likes, reblogs, replies, retweets, upvotes, etc. automatically becomes a meme. Well, according to McCulloch:

A meme in the internet sense isn’t just something popular, a video or image or phrase that goes viral. It’s something that’s remade and recombined, spreading as an atom of internet culture” (McCulloch, location 3431)

In this sense, McCulloch’s idea of a meme aligns with Evnine’s. What makes a meme a meme is the existence of memographic practice surrounding the meme.

What was unique about the memes that took off was not the in-jokes, but the scale: in a world where in-jokes happen all the time and distribution costs are zero, a few of them can get really big because their in-groups are actually very large, like “people who agree that this particular cat looks very grumpy,” or “people who saw the previous very popular in-joke.” (McCulloch, location 3537)

“People who saw the previous very popular in-joke” is key. A lot of memes have a kind of absurd, incomprehensible humor to them. Why are they funny? No one knows. You can talk about dada-ism (or e-dada, like this Tumblr post suggests) and the state of the world but really, the humor behind the most popular memes are self-referential. They’re funny only because you get the reference, even if the reference itself doesn’t make sense. 

-

Aesthetique™

Now that we have a working definition for what memes are and how they work, I would like to talk about what memes do. The affective qualities of the meme. Or, the aesthetic.

To explicate this, I will be using, of course, loss.jpg and Lucky Luciano (aka “you know I had to do it to em” guy). 

Since this is written for the meme-illiterate, I'll be using copious examples of memographic practice in an attempt to illustrate the way memes overall affect us.

Let’s start with loss.jpg.

Loss.jpg starts with this comic, drawn by Ctrl+Alt+Del:

(Source x)

According to the KnowYourMeme page, the meme started out as “mockery” of the strip, generating countless parodies across the web. Though, at this point, I’d argue that loss has become so ubiquitous that even if it started out as mockery, it’s looped right back around to a kind of awe. 

(Source x)

Most notable, however, is the fact that “norms” that make up loss have expanded and transformed to include minimalist portrayals of the comic.

(Source: the KnowYourMeme page)

Some examples:

(Source x)

(Source x)

(Source x)

Lucky Luciano started out on Twitter, in a post that is no longer available to the public. Of course, the internet being what it is, it has been preserved for our viewing pleasure:

(Source: the KnowYourMeme page)

KnowYourMeme classifies this meme as type “Character, Photoshop”. The common norms of using this meme is to take a picture that someone else posted, and then repost it while hiding Lucky Luciano somewhere in the photo, “Where’s Waldo?” style. The meme became so popular that several blogs dedicated to documenting and furthering its memographic practice were created (wherethefuckishe​, where-the-fuck-is-he​ and locate-lucky-luciano​ are the ones I’m aware of). 

(Source x)

(Source x)

(Source x)

(Source x)

(Source x)

And my personal favorite:

(Source x)

And just for fun, here’s a combo meme:

(Source x)

For those who don’t get that last one, the icon was edited to have both Lucky Luciano and loss.jpg:

The replies also included a Rickroll, which KnowYourMeme classifies as a “bait-and-switch” meme.

You might have noticed a lot of mixed reactions in the screenshots I included. “I am tired and I will never be free”, “fuck you op” (op stands for original poster in this context), or this fantastic reaction image provided in the last one:

What feeling do these reactions represent? What emotion is being evoked?

I would argue that the answer to these questions is “stuplimity”, a term coined by Sianne Ngai in her article “Stuplimity: Shock and Boredom in Twentieth-Century Aesthetics”. As the title suggests, stuplimity is described as a mixture of shock and boredom.

The sudden excitation of “shock,” and the desensitization we associate with “boredom,” though diametrically opposed and seemingly mutually exclusive, are both responses that confront us with the limitations of our capacity for responding in general. Both affects are thus frequently invoked in responses to radical art usually dismissed as unsophisticated... (Ngai)

Not all memes are created equal. Or perhaps, though they may start out somewhat equal, through memographic practice, some rise above others. I’d argue this is the case with loss.jpg and Lucky Luciano, which have become so well-known and common on the internet as to be veritable cultural phenomenona. Memes, being abstract artefacts created out of norms, are necessarily a group effort. Norms can’t be established by an individual. Memographic practice is a communal project. The first few times we see a meme, the first few times we “get” a meme, we may be delighted. But eventually, over time, many people become tired of the meme. Bored. And yet, they cannot revoke their own knowledge of the “joke”, and each time they come across a new iteration they are both astonished that there are versions they have not yet seen and bored by the same joke being used over and over. “I am tired and I will never be free” is the common sentiment, and I would label this sentiment as “stuplime”.

...a rethinking of what it means to be aesthetically overpowered: a new way of theorizing the negatively affective relationship to stupefying objects previously designated by the older aesthetic notion of the sublime. One way of calling attention to the affinity between exhaustion and the astonishment particular to the sublime, invoking the latter while detaching it from its previous romantic affiliations, is to refer to the aesthetic experience I am talking about—one in which astonishment is paradoxically united with boredom as the stuplime... (Ngai)

But this isn’t the result of a single instance of a meme. It’s the collective effect of all memographic practice surrounding a meme𝒸𝒸 that constitutes stuplimity. 

Stuplimity is thus the final destination, the final form if you will, of the meme.

-

In conclusion,

(Source x)

Get it?

-

References

I’ve collected all the Tumblr memes in a tag here (though not in any particular order) and all non-Tumblr references are collected in a works cited page here (link will only work in browser).

[ace-t-rex-in-space]

Promoting some Small Black Owned Businesses to help with holiday shopping

I posted something earlier asking if anyone could recommend any black owned businesses to help with my holiday shopping... I didn’t get an answer from Tumblr, so I cruised the internet to gather a list of black owned businesses to support in your holiday / birthday / whatever shopping. 

Below the read more is a list of shops with categories for easy shopping, enjoy!

FOR KIDS

SoapSox: https://soapsoxkids.com/ This is a really adorable gift idea for young children or new moms. These are the most adorable things in the world and I bought several for my niece and nephew (5 and 10), this are great stocking stuffers or inexpensive gifts for expecting mothers. Each individual character is $9.99 USD, gift sets are $11.99 and bundles offer saves of 10% or more.

HarperIman: https://www.harperiman.com/ Adorable, handmade dolls. Not ideally recommended for really young kids as these are more a collectors item with a higher price point. Really great for older kids!

FOR YOUR HEALTH CAUTIOUS AND ALLERGY CAUTIOUS

Partake: https://partakefoods.com/ A gluten-free, vegan, and allergy-friendly cookie company that makes crunchy and soft bake style cookies. I bought a few boxes for my sister that has a gluten allergy. I highly recommend variety packs as gifts. Packs of 5 boxes are about $25 and packs of 8 boxes are $40 USD. For single cookie flavors they do sell in packs of 3 boxes, so keep an eye on that when ordering from their website,

FOOD AND DRINK

BLK & Bold Coffee: https://blkandbold.com/ Specialty coffees and teas. Featuring whole bean coffee and loose leaf teas. They also have a “Farm to Cup” section to support local farms. Also 5% of this company’s profits are donated to help support at-risk youth locally and nationally.

McBride Sisters: https://www.mcbridesisters.com/ McBride Sisters are famous for their Black Girl Magic wines. You can purchase a bundle of various flavors from their three collections or you can purchase single bottle for between $17-25 USD. They also have canned spritzers for $24 USD for a 4-pack.

Brooklyn Tea: https://brooklyntea.com/ Really cool tea flavors. Teas range from $4-$8 USD for a 6oz tin. They also offer tea boxes for easy gifting.

Jones Bar-B-Q: https://www.jonesbbqkc.com/products Queer Eye fans, you know them, you loved them, now support them! Jones Bar-B-Q shop focuses on Kansas City style bar-b-q sauce and rubs for any grill master.

HOLIDAY / BIRTHDAY / GREETING CARDS

CardCraftUS: https://www.etsy.com/shop/CardCraftUS?ref=simple-shop-header-name&listing_id=892415097 Really cute cards for every occasion. Adorable and funny, you can find a card for anyone.

JEWELRY

Mixed Millennial: https://mixedmillennial.co/collections/all mixed metal jewelry. Minimalist style, perfect simple layered jewelry pieces.

HOME OWNER / HOME DECOR

TheCraftySwirl: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thecraftyswirl/?utm_medium=editorial_internal&utm_source=etsy_blog&utm_campaign=featured_shop&utm_content=thecraftyswirl_q320 Really cute minimalist shelves and home accents.

HOBBY GIFTS

Manual Photo: https://manualphoto.com/ New York based Old school disposable photo gifts and photo developing services. Perfect for the photographer or photo-manic.

[recentanimenews]

Staff Picks: Our Favorite Anime of 2019

Welcome to the third post of our annual “Staff Picks,” in which the Ani-Gamers team selects some of our favorite anime, manga, and video games of the past year. This time we’re covering anime!

If you’re strictly looking at the anime output of 2019, it was yet another great year. An ambitious second season of Mob Psycho 100, highly anticipated CG productions like Promare and Beastars (still not available on Netflix!), a new music-focused series from Shinichiro Watanabe (Cowboy Bebop), and Netflix’s big US-Japan co-production of Cannon Busters, among many others. On top of that, Evangelion made its triumphant return to North America thanks to Netflix, stirring up some new controversy along the way.

Unfortunately, all that good stuff was clouded by the worst anime news in decades: a brutal arson attack at Kyoto Animation that left 36 people dead, 33 more injured, and many of the studio’s production materials and digital backups destroyed. The attack represented not only a major tragedy for the anime industry, but the worst mass murder in post-war Japanese history. The victims included acclaimed veterans like Yoshiji Kigami and countless young artists, many of them just out of college and eager to begin work at their dream job. KyoAni was one of the few studios with a reputation for treating their workers with the dignity that they deserve, making the loss of their talented, passionate staff all the more painful. Thankfully, KyoAni has managed to gather a huge number of donations from fans to support the victims’ families and the studio has resumed production, with the new Violet Evergarden movie scheduled for April 2020.

Below, Ink and Evan have listed some of their favorite anime titles of 2019, covering TV series and movies, action series and comedies. Enjoy, and feel free to chime in with your own 2019 picks in the comments.

Ink

#3: The Magnificent Kotobuki

It’s not that I see this title qualifying as one of the best anime of the year, it’s just that, as a WWII plane otaku and airshow enthusiast, The Magnificent Kotobuki (TMK) is one of my personal favorite anime from this past year. Watching TMK is like watching someone play Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge but with much more attention paid to the planes’ mechanical details and exterior wear as well as some very convincing weight dynamics applied to the dogfights. (The dogfights, by the way, range from intimate 1-on-1’s to squad based to air force against air force (and everything in-between) – all presented in loving detail with so many different angles and approaches that they are definitely the stars of the show.) The characters, save Captain Dodo (the stone-faced badass pictured above), are superfluous, but there’s a fair amount of comedy (mostly stock but some original gags) that works well because of the characters and how they’re used that keeps the show entertaining even when not in the air. The only downside, and it isn’t much of one, is the 3DCG animation used most noticeably for the characters; it stands out like a sore thumb against more organic backgrounds, but not so much as to make the show unwatchable. I looked forward to each episode release every single week.

#2: Wasteful Days of High School Girls

I stand by my original description of Wasteful Days of High School Girls (WDoHSG) as Teekyu x Azumanga Daioh with a load of wit via well-placed running gags and impeccably timed, snarky one-liners. It’s cast is a large ensemble, and the show does well via piecemeal introductions that eventually allow the characters’ traits and tendencies to be expressed and received differently depending on which characters are present – the depiction thereof, as someone prone to excessive compartmentalization, I appreciate quite a bit. Watching people bounce off of other people to varying degrees is great, and the aforementioned timing, crucial to any comedy, is spot-on, but WDoHSG also leverages repetition of animation and situational cuts to great effect. I’d be failing the show completely if I did not mention its AOPOTY (Anime OP of the Year), which consists of an all-female (VA-sung), almost nonsensical, gag-filled rap/pop track ("Wa! Moon! dass! cry!") that initially backs the narrative of a photo-bombing Tanaka as she takes candids of her friends (the cast) and later delves into visual gags and welcome randomness that gets more fun as you get to know the characters. WDoHSG is nothing deep, but it’s a show that consistently makes me belly laugh, and that’s exactly what I needed this year.

#1: Carole & Tuesday

After watching the initial trailer for Shinichiro Watanabe’s new music-focused joint, I was skeptical; the guitar playing animation seemed loose, how much could you do with a keyboard, and something just felt off in general. (Watanabe has said he doesn’t like loose depictions of music being played — one of the reasons Kids on the Slope was so intricately animated.) I was very happy to put my initial impressions behind me, however, very soon after I started watching the series proper. It’s a title with a ton of heart that wants to resolve issues stemming from socio-economic disparity through the creation of art. The topic of privileged creator vs. struggling artist is addressed too lightly and almost dismissed via casual acceptance in the first season; resolutions come a little too easily, and arguments that should be had are, for the most part, laughed off in the face of loneliness/desperation. That, however, feeds into the show’s main focus which is healing and growth through friendship and creation/expression — coming together to be something more than yourself by being a part of something greater to which you personally contribute. And that really sets up the second cour. The pacing is rushed but no unacceptable, and the characters are as charming as they are amusing (and vice-versa), but the main reason why this is my favorite of the year is simply that it got me to watch an in-series version of a reality TV show that was, itself, fun, funny, and increasingly tense.

Evan Minto

#3: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 5: Golden Wind

The hits keep on coming for JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. Following up on last year’s excellent Diamond is Unbreakable, Golden Wind takes us to Italy to check in on Giorno Giovanna, the son of infamous vampire Dio. Golden Wind’s cast lacks the easy charm of Josuke, Okuyasu, Koichi, and Rohan, and it’s hard to hold a candle to Yoshikage Kira in the villain department, but at least for me the leads aren’t the real stars of this show. In Golden Wind, Araki’s overactive imagination seems to get a bit of a power-up, as everything from the costumes to the Stand powers becomes even less plausible (and thus, better). Characters walk around wearing entire outfits riddled with holes for fashion reasons. Enemy stands can do things like accelerate the aging of everyone in a train or — get this — spawn a baby assassin out of a briefcase. David Production, too, are at the top of their game on this latest adaptation, continuing their strong command of Araki’s unique character design style while bringing in new animators to craft dazzling action and effects sequences. Stone Ocean is on the horizon and I couldn’t be more excited.

#2: Mob Psycho 100 II

When it comes to anime adaptations of ONE manga series, I was always a One-Punch Man guy — there’s nothing quite like watching the coolest action concepts crumble into dust under the scrutiny of ONE’s sardonic, anticlimactic sense of humor. But 2019 brought us second seasons for both of his big series, and let’s put it this way: I didn’t even bother with the second season of One-Punch. Mob Psycho 100 Season 2 is a stellar follow-up to what was already an excellent first season (it was one of my Staff Picks back in 2016). The season picks up thematically where the previous one left off, as psychic middle-schooler Mob seeks self-improvement and greater self-confidence. Sometimes the show’s character arcs feel like retreads (the faux-psychic con man Reigen is as devious and manipulative as ever), but then it unexpectedly dives down dramatic avenues that push the characters to their breaking points. More than anything else, however, Mob Psycho is worth watching for the dazzling artistry on display in nearly every frame of every sequence. Action scenes crackle with energy, and the animators spare no expense detailing the supersonic whiplash and earth-rending force of the series’ many psychic battles. What has always set Mob Psycho above the rest, though, is the fact that even the scenes of daily life are beautifully animated, full of loose, expressive, and frequently laugh-out-loud funny character acting. This is one of the best-looking shows in years, and highly recommended for any fans of great animation.

#1: Promare

No anime experience of 2019 can compare to sitting in the largest ballroom at Anime Expo in Los Angeles, cheering and hooting along with the crowd as I watched Promare for the first time. Studio Trigger’s first feature film plays out like a compressed version of Kill la Kill and Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann; it’s one magnificent set piece after another, strung together by a series of unlikely twists and betrayals. The gags are fast and exceedingly dumb, the characters are larger than life, and oh yeah, it’s about gay firefighters duking it out with eco-fascists. On top of that, the film’s eye-popping, candy-colored world is powered by a groundbreaking 2-D/3-D hybrid production, utilizing the best talent at both Trigger and their sister studio Sanzigen and merging their two styles into a unified whole. Promare may not be my favorite from its creative team (Kill la Kill and Gurren Lagann are tough acts to follow), but it provided me with more pure, unpretentious fun than anything else this year. I liked it so much I made a whole damn website to celebrate it!

Check out our 2019 Manga Staff Picks and 2019 Video Game Staff Picks too!

Staff Picks: Our Favorite Anime of 2019 originally appeared on Ani-Gamers on January 9, 2020 at 2:47 AM.

By: Ink

[itsworn]

Help Us Find This Lost Dick Harrell–Converted 1968 Chevrolet Chevelle

Mr. Chevrolet. No pressure there at all, right? Well, if anyone was deserving of the moniker it was the legendary Dick Harrell.

Harrell, better known in his earlier years as Dickie, cut his automotive teeth in Carlsbad, New Mexico, racing on local dirt tracks. By the late 1950s he had progressed to straight-line racing with Chevrolets and started to make a name for himself in the Southeast as a formidable competitor.

Harrell campaigned Chevrolets in the 1960s and continually climbed the national recognition ladder as a racer. Equally, his mechanical career took flight. Fenders reading “Tuned by Harrell” inferred you were likely to end up on the losing end of your drag race against one of his tuned cars. His skill behind the wheel and under the hood increasingly became fodder for Bowtie performance-minded individuals.

Dick Harrell (in the necktie) worked as Nickey Chevrolet’s Performance Advisor and was instrumental in the first Camaro 427 conversions. Here he observes as Nickey technicians Lou Anzelmo and Mike Terrafino turn a garden-variety SS into a supercar.

As Harrell’s career progressed, Nickey Chevrolet in Chicago came calling. Harrell would become Nickey’s Performance Advisor, overseeing client relationships as it pertained to performance Chevrolets. Thus began his next foray into the Chevrolet history books when he transplanted a 427 into the new Camaro, ushering in the era of supercar conversions and cementing himself as Mr. Chevrolet.

Not long after the Nickey 427 Camaro, Harrell had another well-known high-performance dealership knocking on his door. Racing legend Don Yenko was looking for a partner. Yenko, who had created his own version of a supercar with the Yenko Corvair Stinger in 1966, wanted a performance-minded mechanic to swap 427s into a fleet of Camaros. In East St. Louis, Illinois, Harrell undertook the conversion of approximately 106 Camaros to 427 power for Mr. Yenko. He was beginning to earn his Mr. Chevrolet nickname. The partnership parlayed into sponsorship of Harrell’s Camaro Funny Car as well.

Having now moved numerous times in a few years, Harrell settled down in Kansas City, Missouri. Next on his plate were 427 conversions of the new 1968 Nova via Fred Gibb Chevrolet and COPO 9738. Ultimately, Harrell would convert between 10 and 20 Novas to 427 power and would also be a catalyst for the 1969 ZL1 Camaro.

Jim McCraw profiled “Mr. Chevrolet” for Super Stock & Drag Illustrated’s July 1958 issue. He’s shown standing outside his shop in Kansas City with a few of his supercar conversions.

Towards the end of the 1968 model year, Harrell had created supercars for Nickey Chevrolet, Yenko Chevrolet, and Gibb Chevrolet. Realizing that he himself was the straw stirring the drink, he opened Dick Harrell Performance Center at 11114 Hickman Mills Drive in Kansas City. Finally he would be doing supercar conversions on Novas, Camaros, and Chevelles, with all of them wearing “Dick Harrell” badges.

Around this time, Harrell was interviewed by Super Stock & Drag Illustrated for its July 1968 issue. The title of the article, “Chevy Capital of the Midwest,” hovered above a photo of the exterior of Harrell’s shop, as Harrell leaned against one of the 427 Harrell Chevelles with a Camaro and another Chevelle off to the side.

Wedding Present

Dudley and Margaret Coleman’s Harrell Chevelle may have been impractical for daily street use, but who else could lay claim to having the baddest Chevrolet in the state of Florida?

Arizona resident Dudley Coleman was no stranger to the high-performance craze taking over the automotive industry in the mid-1960s, having owned an Impala, a pair of Corvettes, and a GTO. Just recently married, Dudley surmised that the best thing to do post-nuptials was to order a 1968 Harrell-prepared 427 Chevelle. Well, it might not have gone down that way, but Dudley’s wife Margaret recalls just how terribly impractical a machine of that caliber was.

Dudley and Margaret’s Harrell 427 Chevelle stretched the pocketbook to the tune of $6,500. Received at Courtesy Chevrolet in Phoenix, a Harrell dealer network reseller, the 1968 500hp Harrell 427 Chevelle wore Fathom Blue paint and a black vinyl top, featured a four-speed with disc brakes, and had a whole host of Harrell à la carte goodies underhood and in the cockpit.

Prior to taking delivery, the Colemans moved to Florida, where Dudley’s mother lived. Since the Chevelle was already on its way to Arizona, it was received at Courtesy Chevrolet then loaded on a transporter once more for the trip to Florida. Nearly every weekend Dudley and Margaret washed and waxed their prized Chevelle. Both drove it as their only vehicle. After the brief year in Florida it was back to Arizona (they’d move back to Florida one more time), where they decided that perhaps a Harrell 427 Chevelle might not be the best car for a couple thinking about starting a family.

Stewart-Warner gauges were installed on the Harrell Chevelle. You can also faintly make out the Hurst four-speed shifter.

So with 7,000 miles on the odometer, the Chevelle was listed in August 1969 for $4,295. It would be the last time the car was mentioned in public as far as we know; its whereabouts after that are unknown.

Based on research about this car and sales information on 1968 Harrell Chevelles going to Courtesy Chevrolet in Arizona, it’s believed this car could be one of four with VINs being withheld in order to keep it from being re-created.

We’re left guessing what became of the Chevelle. Could it have made its way to the dragstrip? Could it have met an untimely demise on the street? Hopefully by making this information public, MCR readers can help shed light on the whereabouts of Dudley and Margaret’s old 1968 Dick Harrell 427 Chevelle.

Harrell offset a 427 emblem into the grille of his 1968 Chevelles. Harrell’s unique hoodscoops gave the car an imposing persona. And don’t forget, “Nixon’s The One!”

Harrell Super Performance Options

The goodie bag of performance parts available for having your car converted by Harrell included the following.

Special tri-power intake system, $285

Special dual-4-barrel intake system, $234

L88 (steel) cylinder heads 12.5 compression, $165

3-barrel Holley, $118

Tuned 4-tube exhaust system (loose), $150

L88 engine (alum. heads; not recommended for street), $635

Explosion-proof clutch and flywheel assembly, $205

Hurst competition shifter, $109.45

AHRA & NHRA approved scattershield, $99.50

Stewart-Warner Inst. Pkg. (oil, water temp, alternator, tach), $125

Traction lift bars, $49.95

Traction lift kits, $148.95

New design super-traction (7-inch) Wide Ovals, $50

Latest compound for traction & handling (4-ply), price varies

7-inch-wide stance lightweight mag wheels for above tires, $184

Cragar S/S mag wheels, $176

Special chassis components for rally pkg., price varies

Large sway bars front & rear, shotpeened ball joints, tie-rod ends, spindles; price varies

H-D springs & shocks (composition only), price varies

Coleman’s commitment to keeping his Harrell Chevelle impeccable is on display here. Note the 427 emblem on the rear valance.

The advertisement we’d all dream about coming across. However, in 1969 $4,295 was a lot of money, and few people had the foresight to purchase and hold onto a car of this caliber.

The post Help Us Find This Lost Dick Harrell–Converted 1968 Chevrolet Chevelle appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

from Hot Rod Network https://www.hotrod.com/articles/help-us-find-lost-dick-harrell-converted-1968-chevrolet-chevelle/ via IFTTT

[goope-jp-tenmei]

Behind the Stationery: ilootpaperie

We’re bringing you a sister act on today’s installment of Behind the Stationery! Alice and Doris of ilootpaperie recently moved into a dedicated space this year in Pasadena, California (congrats!) and their greeting card and pin designs are full of vibrant colors and puns galore. They’re here to share their story—from their experience in finding a local printer to outsource their printing needs to the different methods they use to sketch and render designs—take it away, ladies! —Megan Soh

From Alice: Our foray into the stationery world had its beginnings, funnily enough, in wedding invitations for some of our close friends. We found quickly that the part of the process that we were drawn to the most was designing the accompanying thank you cards we included with the invitations as part of our gift to the couple. This realization shaped the beginnings of Ilootpaperie when we launched in December of 2010 as a passion project with just six designs on Etsy. This all took place before the advent of the phenomenal of the side hustle, so we simply thought of it as taking steps to get an idea Doris and I had daydreamed about off the ground in case she moved to London for a position she had been applying for at her day job in the finance industry.

During this time, I was working in marketing and design for a shoe design company. After making it through several rounds of layoffs due to company restructures, at the end of August 2013, I was laid off and this set off an unexpected course of events in which we eventually decided I would apply my full effort to help grow the company.

With the advice of our fellow entrepreneurial creatives in mind — that few part-time projects can take off without full-time attention applied to it — we embarked on this ever-challenging but also ever-fulfilling endeavor. We have found ourselves to be a small part of a very special industry filled with fantastically talented kindred spirits that we have the honor of working amongst and calling our friends. Doris continues to work at her day job, so we often joke there is 1 and 1/4 of us getting things done!

We are based out of Pasadena, California and just moved into a new place this past January. This move was a huge deal for us because for the first time since Ilootpaperie sprung into existence, our little endeavor finally has its own dedicated space. We converted the master bedroom into our working studio and there are two tall windows that let in a flood of beautiful natural light during the day—oh! and we installed an extensive shelving system along one of the walls to hold our inventory, something we’ve dreamt of for years.

Our first real card shelves were handmade by Joel Kvernmo of the awesome Iron Curtain Press (it was their previous shelving) and it was a milestone we hold dear because those shelves made us feel like a legit card company. Rosanna’s encouraging words when we met her to pick up the shelves from their beautiful shop Shorthand stayed in our minds as we prepped for our first trade show. Those first shelves dominated the living room of Doris’ tiny studio apartment.

So the idea of this converted studio space has been quite thrilling as we’ve always been about scrappily making it work (card inventory thoroughly infiltrated both our living rooms by time we had moved) and we can’t wait to unpack in the next couple months to create a more centralized studio area with the goal of finding more opportunities to streamline our day-to-day processes. We’ve had to put unpacking on hold to focus on prepping for the National Stationery Show (which took place at the end of May), fulfilling NSS orders, and then NSS show unpacking! As you can see, we’re in a bit of a transitional state. It can be challenging and frustrating at times, but we are learning to be patient with ourselves, to stay focused on current tasks and look to new possibilities just on the horizon to stay motivated as we settle into the new space.

From Doris: In 2015, when we started to seriously consider attending the National Stationery Show in New York, we began researching to outsource the printing and production of our designs. We wanted to educate ourselves on the how-to’s of scaling up should the need arise following the trade show — it was a process of reaching out and learning about the various printing capabilities of printing companies near and far from us, and this definitely took some persistence. We’ve always had a subtle linen texture in the paper stock we used for the line even when we were printing in-house so we wanted to be able to carry that textural brand element forward. In the end, one of the local Pasadena printers (top notch!) with diligent effort was finally able to source a premium linen paper stock that we loved, and the pop of the colors they were able to achieve for the samples we printed for NSS sealed the deal, so voilà! Here we are.

Due to the colorful nature of our designs, our collection is printed on an HP Indigo digital press on the beautiful premium linen stock in white or natural white depending on the design. Certain designs will then go to our second printer, who is also located in Pasadena and specializes in die cutting, foil printing, embossing and debossing. We love being able to build concepts around new design elements we are excited to incorporate be it a new foil color or a technique new to the line (i.e. embossing, debossing). From the printers, everything comes back full circle to us for packing, packaging, finishing and fulfillment.

Being able to work closely with our local printers in Pasadena has been integral to our growth and we feel these strong working relationships with our printing partners have helped us to be able to sustain the order volumes and levels that we had dreamed to achieve when we began attending the National Stationery Show.

Doris: We believe what really shines through in our cards and sets us apart is how much fun we have when we are coming up with our card designs. There are lots of laughs involved behind the concepts that are full of humor and heart. Even the vetoed concepts tend to make at least one of us giggle while we try to sell it to the other person. We aim to have a good time with it and believe that that’s what makes our products memorable; and that this shared laughter and connection extends beyond just the two of us is a gift.

Doris: Each day is different depending on the deadlines that we’re working on so there isn’t really a typical work day—our days are generally filled with pulling items and packing them up for retail and wholesale orders, working with our various printers/vendors to submit new orders for new designs and restocking orders to keep our inventory stocked! Concepts for new cards, pins, and products is an ongoing conversation that happens throughout all of this.

Like many other small business owners, we struggle to find enough time in the day to get everything that we would like to get done completed as there’s an ever-growing list of to-dos that need to be balanced with the fun we’d like to have, the art we’d like to create, and other life obligations that can’t be ignored for long. Moving into the new space has definitely helped us move toward achieving efficiencies in our processes to move quicker and be able to do more. In talking with other creatives in the industry, there are definitely more opportunities and workflow tools that we can continue to explore when we have a little more time on our hands (the irony!). It’s definitely a work in progress.

Alice: Our concepts are the sparks that set off our design process. We aren’t always able to set aside a specific time aside to concept so that has always been a constant on-the-flow process for us, even from the beginning. Ideas come about through every day conversations and text conversations back and forth when we aren’t together (inspiration really is everywhere!) and often times in the car on the way to drop off post or while running errands. Things that we feel deeply about also contribute to this flow of inspiration.

We keep a running list via email / phone notes /sketchbook list of our half-baked concepts and taglines, and we review the list prior to a print job or placing a pin/ notebook / button order to see which ones we should fully explore and execute. Admittedly there are times when I will take a 4am detour in the midst of designing at night and there will be a surprise concept when Doris wakes up in the morning (I tend to be a night owl when it comes to the creative side of things). We like to keep the design and brainstorming loose and open to playful impulses to keep things lively!

Once a concept has been moved into the “Let’s Execute” list, I often find myself researching lots of images of animals doing funny things (usually for the concept, but sometimes to procrastinate because it is always a little nerve-wrecking to begin a design). When we first started, Doris and I had throughly discussed and agreed we wanted to allow the brand’s visual voice to come into its own. So, especially in the beginning, I incorporated different mediums like watercolor, pencil sketches mixed with vector and text elements, and even thumbprint art when executing the designs.

As of late, all designs have begun with a hand sketch in pencil, for those that get vectored in detail (meaning point by point by mouse). Our enamel pins now all tend to be fully vectored in this manner to give me more control over the small details. And for other concepts, we like the very flat clean graphic quality of vectored lines and begin with an ink pen sketch usually on tracing paper, which I snap a photo of with my phone to take into Photoshop to composite my favorite parts of the sketches and clean up the lines. I like the hand-drawn feel that is preserved in these designs.

From there these sketches get taken into Illustrator to be vectored and then I start put together the colors and the composition with the text. Sometimes your initial instinct is spot on, other days there’s a lot of nudging, and tweaking and pushing to get to the final design. The first test print is always very exciting—we get an idea of where the colors/ tones fall and check the spacing and composition as it lives on the physical space of the card. Then comes more tweaking. When the designs are finalized, they go to our printer and next comes the proofs! At this crucial point, I check to see if we need to make any corrections / notes for printing. Ideally we don’t, and it moves into production.

Our overall design process is very much about shaping the physical lines I’m able to achieve toward the idea I have in my head. I never went to proper art school, so what I do is a mishmash of techniques and tricks I learned on the job and in classes I took after work while I was still in marketing.

With everything we do for Ilootpaperie, from our product and packaging design to shop window and craft show display designs (and even painting our first mural at our first NSS booths), there is a strong element of improvisation and constant problem solving. We take what we know and mix in a whole lot of research, trial and error, terror and gumption to keep going—it is often terrifying and exciting all at the same time.

Thanks so much for allowing us to share our little piece of our cheeky universe with everyone, Nole and Megan. We cannot fully express what a thrill it is, to be a small part of OSBP as it has inspired us so much always. We pinch ourselves every time!

You can shop all of our cheeky paper, pins and more at ilootpaperie.com and follow along in our day to day shenanigans on IG @ilootpaperie.

Photos by Michelle Nicole Photography.

Want to be featured in the Behind the Stationery column? Reach out to Megan at megan [at] ohsobeautifulpaper [dot] com for more details.

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[kurtwarren54]

Prepping for FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer)

So many of you have written me DM’s, emails, and left comments asking how we prepped for our Frozen Embryo Transfer (or FET) and I wanted to share with you what I did to prepare. By the time you get to the actual FET, it’s like you can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. I remember going in for my first appointment for to start prep for my second FET and I was literally a ball of emotions and started to hysterically cry to my nurse about the pressure of it working. You have done so much to get to this place if you have been lucky enough to get embryos from your egg retrieval. I wrote about our first failed FET here and one thing I will say is that since this was my second time around, it was easier since I knew some of the “moves.” Easier in terms of, I knew the meds, I knew the process and I knew what I needed to do to get myself in the best possible shape to welcome our little embryo into our lives. So below, I will share what I did to prep for our FET. Please note that it’s so important to come up with a plan with your doctor and that what I share is only what I did and worked for my body based on what I needed. The photos included in this post are a photo of our ACTUAL transfer. This photo marks the beginning of our little miracle baby boy and I will treasure it always.

Supplements and meds I was taking DHEA microionized and CoQ10 were supplements I took (which I bought from wholefoods). These are both longevity supplements that can help to enhance fertility. I don’t know if they made a difference personally, but it’s something I was religious about taking. I also continued to take my prenatal vitamins. Since I don’t love big pills my doctor was able to prescribe me with Vitafol Gummies with Iron. I also took 2000 IU of D3 because of a deficiency. Another supplement that was pretty unique was Trental, which I was taking was for my uterine lining. In previous cycles, I had a hard time getting my lining thick for transfer. My dr wanted to me to be close to 8mm and many times I had a hard time reaching that number and sometimes we didn’t. Something that seemed to help me was also taking Trental to help with bloodflow and to help my uterine lining grow thicker. I did the normal estrogen pills alongside of estrogen patches to also thicken my lining. Unfortunately due to adhesive sensitivities, I had to discontinue use of the patch and stick with the pills orally or vaginally (i know gross! But they absorb better vaginally). I also took 800 iu vitamin E to ensure no fluid build up that would interfere with the transfer. Since sometimes, if you have fluid buildup, it could affect your FET.

Diet I ate a TON of eggs and avocado. I tried to eat as clean as possible but I didn’t force it. If I wanted cupcakes, I had cupcakes. I think it’s all about just making your body feel its best whatever that means for you. I never did the INSANE fertility diets bc they just didn’t work for me. Some of you wrote me about fertility shakes and other diets that really worked for you but again, it wasn’t what my body needed to prepare. We are all SO different and I think the bottom line is to feel like yourself, because sometimes taking such drastic changes from your norm end up stressing you out more than helping. As far as wine, I LOVE my wine, and I wanted to enjoy some before our big transfer. I stuck to no more than 2-3 glasses a week and not all in one sitting. That is what my dr said. Honestly, I think having a glass here and there relaxed me. With this successful FET, my doctor was SHOCKED at how great my lining was. She asked what I did differently this cycle. My answer: RED WINE and lot’s of it. So funny right?! I just stopped all alcohol when I started my progesterone injections. I also decided to cut coffee(even decaf) since I have sensitivities to caffeine. This was a totally personal choice but I wanted to be EXTRA cautious. This is prob the only weird thing I did. I didn’t have decaf coffee again until probably 9 weeks pregnant bc I was paranoid.

Acupuncture I mentioned in all my blogs posts that I did acupuncture for my first egg retrieval and FET but sadly, it didn’t help me get pregnant and stressed me out more. Some people RAVE it helped them get pregnant. So just a suggestion if you are looking for something else to try, a lot of friends loved it. But again, it was not for me and I did NOT do acupuncture for my second FET.

Tips for progesterone injections I always get a lot of questions about how I manage all the injections during IVF. Honestly, my mother to this day is still so shocked and impressed with how many injections I have done to date. It’s not an easy fear to overcome… but honestly these days, needles don’t scare me one bit. But it wasn’t always like that. The progesterone injections are by far the “scariest” of the injectables because the needle is longer (about 1-1.5” long!). Just seeing the needle will make you want to faint. Or at least I wanted to the first day I opened up my box of FET medications. You get bottles of PIO (or Progesterone in Oil) that a pharmacy compounds for you. Mine were compounded in Ethyl Oleate which is apparently the most fluid of the oil compounds. You might also get yours compounded in olive oil or sesame oil. I am allergic to sesame so I had ethyl oleate. The first day of these injections I was freaking out… the needle… how was I going to survive. I read HORROR stories online of how much people hated them which was my first mistake. But in reality, the injection wasn’t the painful part for me. Yes it can be uncomfortable but the injection itself isn’t bad. It is the aftermath of the progesterone getting lump in your butt post injection that was the most painful for me. But I practiced a simple routine to help with the discomfort. I would prop myself up, standing, against our kitchen island. Blake would then use a dart like motion to quickly jab the shot into my butt cheek. He would let me know when it was almost finished (it takes a minute to injection fully because the oil is thick) and then immediately after the injection, he would take a washcloth that had been pre-soaked in hot water and then use that to massage the area of the injection for at least 30 seconds. Massaging the area rigorously helps to distribute the oil and keep it from getting lumpy. After that, I would sit on a heat pad to help also with discomfort and to distribute the oil. I did end up having a sore butt but I think the massage really did help. After the transfer, I refrained from sitting on a heat pad because I was paranoid about the heat. But those are the things I did to help me get through. In the end, the progesterone injections were not as bad as the internet made them out to be but that was my own experience. Hope these tips will help!

Shopping before FET I went to the store and bought lemons/real lemon juice in a bottle for hot water with lemon. Since I wanted to avoid all herbal tea and coffee period, I substituted in hot water with lemon to get lots of warm fluids in my body (because apparently that is great after transfer). You also want to grab all your favorite snacks and stock up on other warm foods like soup to enjoy when you first get home. Stock up on your favorite magazines too since you will be in bed on bed rest. Some people eat a lot of superstitious things but honestly I just ate as well as I could and still indulged in some of my fav treats!

Outfit the day of FET I always lay out my outfit for day of transfer. Loose fitting sweatpants that don’t squeeze the tummy, a tshirt and cozy sweater since it is usually more chilly at the office. My sweater of choice was my vintage Mickey Mouse sweater because it honestly just makes me SO happy. The key is to be comfy and not wear anything too tight fitting.

Pajamas for bedrest I always make sure to do all my laundry and pick out all my favorite cozy pajamas for my bedrest and lay them out so I don’t have to go digging for them when I am supposed to be relaxing. If you really want to treat yourself, order yourself a new “lucky” pair. I love gap body pajamas because they are super soft and really nice loose fitting. I love these two pants in particular because they don’t put any pressure on my stomach and I have worn them through my pregnancy so far.

Movies for bedrest Stock up on some of your fav feel good movies. You want to be HAPPY, CALM (I hate to type that because i literally HATED people telling me to be calm), and just overjoyed excited for little embryo that is getting all cozy inside. So many great things on netflix but if you have that one all time fav rom com that literally makes you happier than anything, do yourself a favor and download it or buy it. You deserve to feel so happy during this bedrest and anything to help will make you feel so good. I tried to stay off my laptop because you don’t want to have that heat on your abdomen after your transfer.

That’s pretty much it! I didn’t do too many crazy things honestly, but there are small simple things you can do to put your mind at ease. The bottom line is you want to be prep for some lazy, guilt-free days of bedrest and keep those positve vibes flowing as the dreaded 2WW (two week wait) begins. That time is one of the longest 2 weeks of your life and starting it with ease and being kind to your body and mind is so important. If you are prepping for a FET, wishing you nothing but zen vibes and fingers, toes, and eyeballs crossed for a successful transfer. Stay strong friends!

If you want to read more about our IVF and infertility journey, below are some links to my other blogposts:

IVF Round #1 // IVF Round #2 // IVF Book Resources

Prep for IVF Egg Retrieval // IVF Round #3

The post Prepping for FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Pesch.

from Wellness http://www.eatsleepwear.com/2018/05/02/prepping-fet-frozen-embryo-transfer/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[elizabethcariasa]

Prepping for FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer)

So many of you have written me DM’s, emails, and left comments asking how we prepped for our Frozen Embryo Transfer (or FET) and I wanted to share with you what I did to prepare. By the time you get to the actual FET, it’s like you can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. I remember going in for my first appointment for to start prep for my second FET and I was literally a ball of emotions and started to hysterically cry to my nurse about the pressure of it working. You have done so much to get to this place if you have been lucky enough to get embryos from your egg retrieval. I wrote about our first failed FET here and one thing I will say is that since this was my second time around, it was easier since I knew some of the “moves.” Easier in terms of, I knew the meds, I knew the process and I knew what I needed to do to get myself in the best possible shape to welcome our little embryo into our lives. So below, I will share what I did to prep for our FET. Please note that it’s so important to come up with a plan with your doctor and that what I share is only what I did and worked for my body based on what I needed. The photos included in this post are a photo of our ACTUAL transfer. This photo marks the beginning of our little miracle baby boy and I will treasure it always.

Supplements and meds I was taking DHEA microionized and CoQ10 were supplements I took (which I bought from wholefoods). These are both longevity supplements that can help to enhance fertility. I don’t know if they made a difference personally, but it’s something I was religious about taking. I also continued to take my prenatal vitamins. Since I don’t love big pills my doctor was able to prescribe me with Vitafol Gummies with Iron. I also took 2000 IU of D3 because of a deficiency. Another supplement that was pretty unique was Trental, which I was taking was for my uterine lining. In previous cycles, I had a hard time getting my lining thick for transfer. My dr wanted to me to be close to 8mm and many times I had a hard time reaching that number and sometimes we didn’t. Something that seemed to help me was also taking Trental to help with bloodflow and to help my uterine lining grow thicker. I did the normal estrogen pills alongside of estrogen patches to also thicken my lining. Unfortunately due to adhesive sensitivities, I had to discontinue use of the patch and stick with the pills orally or vaginally (i know gross! But they absorb better vaginally). I also took 800 iu vitamin E to ensure no fluid build up that would interfere with the transfer. Since sometimes, if you have fluid buildup, it could affect your FET.

Diet I ate a TON of eggs and avocado. I tried to eat as clean as possible but I didn’t force it. If I wanted cupcakes, I had cupcakes. I think it’s all about just making your body feel its best whatever that means for you. I never did the INSANE fertility diets bc they just didn’t work for me. Some of you wrote me about fertility shakes and other diets that really worked for you but again, it wasn’t what my body needed to prepare. We are all SO different and I think the bottom line is to feel like yourself, because sometimes taking such drastic changes from your norm end up stressing you out more than helping. As far as wine, I LOVE my wine, and I wanted to enjoy some before our big transfer. I stuck to no more than 2-3 glasses a week and not all in one sitting. That is what my dr said. Honestly, I think having a glass here and there relaxed me. With this successful FET, my doctor was SHOCKED at how great my lining was. She asked what I did differently this cycle. My answer: RED WINE and lot’s of it. So funny right?! I just stopped all alcohol when I started my progesterone injections. I also decided to cut coffee(even decaf) since I have sensitivities to caffeine. This was a totally personal choice but I wanted to be EXTRA cautious. This is prob the only weird thing I did. I didn’t have decaf coffee again until probably 9 weeks pregnant bc I was paranoid.

Acupuncture I mentioned in all my blogs posts that I did acupuncture for my first egg retrieval and FET but sadly, it didn’t help me get pregnant and stressed me out more. Some people RAVE it helped them get pregnant. So just a suggestion if you are looking for something else to try, a lot of friends loved it. But again, it was not for me and I did NOT do acupuncture for my second FET.

Tips for progesterone injections I always get a lot of questions about how I manage all the injections during IVF. Honestly, my mother to this day is still so shocked and impressed with how many injections I have done to date. It’s not an easy fear to overcome… but honestly these days, needles don’t scare me one bit. But it wasn’t always like that. The progesterone injections are by far the “scariest” of the injectables because the needle is longer (about 1-1.5” long!). Just seeing the needle will make you want to faint. Or at least I wanted to the first day I opened up my box of FET medications. You get bottles of PIO (or Progesterone in Oil) that a pharmacy compounds for you. Mine were compounded in Ethyl Oleate which is apparently the most fluid of the oil compounds. You might also get yours compounded in olive oil or sesame oil. I am allergic to sesame so I had ethyl oleate. The first day of these injections I was freaking out… the needle… how was I going to survive. I read HORROR stories online of how much people hated them which was my first mistake. But in reality, the injection wasn’t the painful part for me. Yes it can be uncomfortable but the injection itself isn’t bad. It is the aftermath of the progesterone getting lump in your butt post injection that was the most painful for me. But I practiced a simple routine to help with the discomfort. I would prop myself up, standing, against our kitchen island. Blake would then use a dart like motion to quickly jab the shot into my butt cheek. He would let me know when it was almost finished (it takes a minute to injection fully because the oil is thick) and then immediately after the injection, he would take a washcloth that had been pre-soaked in hot water and then use that to massage the area of the injection for at least 30 seconds. Massaging the area rigorously helps to distribute the oil and keep it from getting lumpy. After that, I would sit on a heat pad to help also with discomfort and to distribute the oil. I did end up having a sore butt but I think the massage really did help. After the transfer, I refrained from sitting on a heat pad because I was paranoid about the heat. But those are the things I did to help me get through. In the end, the progesterone injections were not as bad as the internet made them out to be but that was my own experience. Hope these tips will help!

Shopping before FET I went to the store and bought lemons/real lemon juice in a bottle for hot water with lemon. Since I wanted to avoid all herbal tea and coffee period, I substituted in hot water with lemon to get lots of warm fluids in my body (because apparently that is great after transfer). You also want to grab all your favorite snacks and stock up on other warm foods like soup to enjoy when you first get home. Stock up on your favorite magazines too since you will be in bed on bed rest. Some people eat a lot of superstitious things but honestly I just ate as well as I could and still indulged in some of my fav treats!

Outfit the day of FET I always lay out my outfit for day of transfer. Loose fitting sweatpants that don’t squeeze the tummy, a tshirt and cozy sweater since it is usually more chilly at the office. My sweater of choice was my vintage Mickey Mouse sweater because it honestly just makes me SO happy. The key is to be comfy and not wear anything too tight fitting.

Pajamas for bedrest I always make sure to do all my laundry and pick out all my favorite cozy pajamas for my bedrest and lay them out so I don’t have to go digging for them when I am supposed to be relaxing. If you really want to treat yourself, order yourself a new “lucky” pair. I love gap body pajamas because they are super soft and really nice loose fitting. I love these two pants in particular because they don’t put any pressure on my stomach and I have worn them through my pregnancy so far.

Movies for bedrest Stock up on some of your fav feel good movies. You want to be HAPPY, CALM (I hate to type that because i literally HATED people telling me to be calm), and just overjoyed excited for little embryo that is getting all cozy inside. So many great things on netflix but if you have that one all time fav rom com that literally makes you happier than anything, do yourself a favor and download it or buy it. You deserve to feel so happy during this bedrest and anything to help will make you feel so good. I tried to stay off my laptop because you don’t want to have that heat on your abdomen after your transfer.

That’s pretty much it! I didn’t do too many crazy things honestly, but there are small simple things you can do to put your mind at ease. The bottom line is you want to be prep for some lazy, guilt-free days of bedrest and keep those positve vibes flowing as the dreaded 2WW (two week wait) begins. That time is one of the longest 2 weeks of your life and starting it with ease and being kind to your body and mind is so important. If you are prepping for a FET, wishing you nothing but zen vibes and fingers, toes, and eyeballs crossed for a successful transfer. Stay strong friends!

If you want to read more about our IVF and infertility journey, below are some links to my other blogposts:

IVF Round #1 // IVF Round #2 // IVF Book Resources

Prep for IVF Egg Retrieval // IVF Round #3

The post Prepping for FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Pesch.

[oliviawriting12]

Letters, term 2

NOTES: Letters are between an Australian nurse and her boyfriend. The nurse is stationed in Greece during WWII. All stories are closely  based on real events. All spelling and grammar errors are intentional. Dotted lines stands for a spot blacked out by censors.

Dear Kit,

Many “thank you”s for the candy. All the gals here loved it especially the chocolates. Was a big morale-booster, too, for reasons I will explain. Before I forget could you please send some stockings as my wool ones are quite worn through. We are on our feet 12 hours a day here and they go very fast. I have put extra bandage around my heels to prevent blisters in the mean-time, and some of the other girls do it too- the 2/5th AGH makes do!  

We are currently in ------------, having been moved just a few days ago- and do I have a story to tell you. You might not believe it.  We were evacuated just recently out to ----, and were taken by car and truck to Nafplio. We weren’t told until a few hours before, Matron Best having selected 40 to go and 39 to stay. We all said our goodbyes. I had to leave darling Mer behind which was very heart-rending, altho we promised to write. We all left in the very dead of night with our little satchels and tin hats, and respirators in case of gas. On the horizon we could see the fires from the battle and I only then realised how close it had got. I was so glad to have Constance with me as I don’t think she’s ever felt fear in her life. For two hours we all stayed put in a cemetery as there was an air raid going on. We all huddled down and held hands v. tight.  It was complete blackness, made even worse by the big respirator masks which you cant see out of even during the day. I could hear the rattle of the planes overhead and the explosions but thankfully the Germans saw no use in bombing a cemetery. Still it was very harrowwing.

After another hour we  arrived to find that our transports were on fire from the raid and being deserted by the Navy men. The fires were so bright you could read a book by them. I don’t think I will ever forget the look of those bright orange flames against the black water and all the smoke coming in thick onto the harbour so you could hardly see. There were some men floating facedown in the water but it looked like most of them had gotten out O.K. They had other boats out spraying them with retardent but it wasn’t doing much yet. I dont know how long we spent on the harbour, but nobody knew what to do. It was chaos with everyone running around in the smoke trying to dredge men out of the water. We were all very scared our transport would leave. Eventually somebody found some fishing boats and Greek fishermen who would take us and we all crowded on like sardines. We went very slowly through the fires.

When we got to the destroyer it was more chaos because nobody had thought to bring the walkways the Navy boats had to get us on. We had to jump across the gap to the destroyer in our narrow skirts and tin hats, one at a time. It was like the games we used to play in the garden, jumping from the tree to the balcony, except this was in the Agean Sea with fires burning all around you and an old man barking at us to hurry up because he was worrying about the Germans coming back. Constance was the first to go of course, and she nearly didn’t make it, only avoiding the chill water because two of the Navy men caught her by the arms and hauled her up. This spooked the rest of us good but we didnt have any other near-accidents. I got across okay- all my gymnastics training doing me good, although I don’t think I’ve ever felt my knees knock more in my life. We did have one accident where Julia’s satchel was dropped in the water when we tossed it up after her. It hit the side of the boat and sunk like a stone. She must have felt badly loosing all her things but she didnt say a word.

Once we got in the boat we were all so tired from our night we were asleep on our feet. Altho the boat was rocking v. badly and cold, we all slept very well with the blankets the soldiers gave us. It was afternoon when we arrived in Crete and we all felt better for a night’s rest and some mugs of soup which was good because we were at work right away setting up the hospital tent.

Quite the harrowing event but throughout it all we did fairly well keeping calm and soldiering on, even me, which you may find hard to believe! But when you are with 39 other even-tempered women it is not so hard as you might think.

Work has been hard but no threat of air-raids like before, which is a relief. There are 50 men now and 40 nurses plus doctors etc, which you might think would work out but never seems to be enough.  Where I was emptying bedpans and mopping before now I am applying bandages and stitching, as there are less experienced nurses here. I am such a quick stitch now, which is good as we also find we are short on anasthetics often. When I first started in 1940 it was so hard seeing the young men with their burnt eyes and limbs because I would always see your face on them but now it is just like any other day. Of course one does feel but you go on so much easier. I know you wouId prefer having your leg and fighting to not & being at home but it makes me happy you are safe. I always worried you would come in wrapped in bandages even tho you were training on the airfields and I was in Greece.

Much love to you, Kit. I think of you every day & you dont need to worry about me finding a beau among my patients as they all move on too fast. As soon as this war is done I will come home to you and we can go to the movies and fool around like we used to. I hope you are getting used to the crutches.

Also since you asked I dont know anything about troop movements and besides they screen all my letters- the 2/5th goes where they move us, no use telling us plans and us going and blabbing by accident, which I could just see happening to me. So I don’t know & don’t mind. Greece is very sunny and warm but as I haven’t had a day off in 2 weeks I haven’t been swimming.

Am dead tired after a long day so goodnight.

For you x x x x x x x x  o o o o o o o o o x x x x x x x x x I love love love you Kit Gwendolyn

PS Dont forget stockings!

Dear Gwen

I hope you like the stockings. They’re made of fine wool so they should not be too scratchy. I sent some candy too, although they were sold out of liquors at Corris’s, so I got lollies and chocs. Your letter has been passed around to all my relatives as they were all astounded at your story and you will likely be asked to retell it many times when you return. Also enclosed is a drawing from Charlie of Gwen jumping onto the boat. He asked me to read the letter may times, which I did.

The crutches are going as well as expected. I’m still very clumsy and Aunt Mary makes me practice hopping around in the garden as I knock her lamps and things when I’m indoors.

Sometimes I forget it’s gone and then I remember. Just this morning I woke up and swung out of bed and nearly fell, forgetting my left leg is gone at mid-thigh and wasn’t there to catch me. And sometimes if I sit still I swear I can feel my foot. I notice it the most when I’m going out in town because people stare. I guess all your hard work with the soldiers will get you used to amputees so you won’t mind. I won’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt when people are frightened, although a lot of people are very respectful. Just yesterday when I was going out with Mary for groceries a man shook my hand. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had never seen any action. I feel a real fool about it, spending two weeks in training trudging in the mud and then going home right away after an aeroplane accident, without being any use. All the fellas are off fighting and here I am. Well, everyone except Jim, who can’t go on account of his diabetes. He told me one time he wishes he was missing a leg so people wouldn’t hiss at him on the street thinking he’s a coward. That made me pretty mad & we haven’t talked in a little while. So it’s just me and Aunt Mary and Charlie mostly.

I wish I could work but I’m still in the recovery period so I’ve been watching Charlie at home while Aunt Mary works. She’s got a new job making bullet cartridges and will bring defected ones home for Charlie to play with, which he loves. Money is tight as she’s got me to look after and it will be some time before I can get a job, but we don’t need to worry about toys for Charlie because he’s got his cartridges. He stands them up in big rows and knocks them down. I never knew how much energy a little boy could have till I started spending time at home. Usually in the morning I’ll read and he’ll run around and amuse himself, and in the afternoon I’ll take him over to a friend’s or we’ll go into town. I still get tired fast so we can’t do as much as either of us would like. On Tuesday we played Chinese Checkers and he beat me. He’s a smart kid. On Wednesday we didn’t play any games because we were too occupied with your letter.

I know you don’t like it when I pester but I worry about you all the time. I hope you still have the photo I sent you & I hope you won’t forget me. I know it isn’t patriotic but I wish you could come home. I’m glad you’re further from the front lines these days, as the thought of you working with shells whistling over your head makes me go out of my mind. It’s funny that I hope you won’t have any more emergencies like the one you told me, but at the same time it was so exciting to read. I hope you’re doing O.K., you sound so tough. I love you and I can’t wait to see you again.

All my love, Kit Love from Charlie and Aunt Mary too

Dear Kit

Thank you and bless you for the stockings they are lovely! Am no longer traipsing around in little bits of bandage. And the candy was lovely, I gave a little to all the girls. Tell Charlie I have the drawing up by my bunk and look at it when I go to sleep.

Thankfully there has not been any more “exciting” emergencies. We have been here two months now and it is going fine. I got a day off last week and went into -------- with Constance on bycycles. We dont know a word of Greek and had to talk through hand gestures when we went to get some lunch. As a result I got some funny cheese dish I didnt want but it was just fine in the end. It has been sunny for weeks now and hardly any rain so it is getting dusty and all the army trucks send up big clouds. It is a job keeping the dust out of the hospital tents. The 39 others we left behind have arrived and so I am reunited with Mer! Although now many more patients are coming in and we are too swamped to chat. The battles in Greece seem to be getting bad and I dont know how long it will be till we are moved again. I can’t see the shells like I could in Greece but if the men cant hold their positions we’ll go with them. Word has it it might be to ----------- next. Will see! It sounds like a good time, we could see all the ---------------------- --------- ------------------------------ --------------------------- -----------.  

Another thing- for the past week I’ve been changing the dressings of a soldier from Yamba.. I told him I was from MacLean myself. Isn’t that interesting. We get on well although he isn’t a match for you, Kit dear. I come and talk to him at nights because I haven’t been sleeping well.  He’s called Herb and he told me about the what it’s like fighting in the towns and I told him my own story, with the boats which suprised him a lot that a nurse had come so close to combat. He was the wireless operator on a tank and he was in for gunshot wounds, one in his stomach which is pretty hard to get over, and the other in his leg. He said the Germans fight dirty so now everyone does too. He got shot when they were getting out of the tanks at night to get supplies, some Germans hid and fired on them when they got out. He says the Germans don’t surender anymore when you capture them because everybody just shoots each other now, and even goes at the Red Cross trucks. The Germans started shooting prisoners and they got so mad they started doing it back. He can’t wait to get back to action because he spent so long in training to work on a tank and he doesn’t want to waste away on the hospital bed. His good friend Will who was the gunner was killed by the Germans the same night and he wants to get back in the tank for him. He didn’t die right away but bled out on the ground before the medics got there. He spends ages tapping Morse codes to himself to make sure he doesn’t forget.

I don’t know if its fair to kill prisoners but if the Germans started it first I guess I understand. I remember when I started I was so suprised just to see a man who had been shot in the back but I got over that pretty quick. I guess when you’re all out to kill each other there aren’t any rules. Maybe don’t read Charlie this part.

I hope you can get to work again soon, although I’m sure Mary and Charlie will miss you at home. Dont feel so bad about not seeing any action as lots of fellas get hurt in training and its nothing to be ashamed of. Soon you can get an office job and keep helping the war effort. You have such nice printing and you did so well in school I’m sure you can get a real nice job. I’m the one with the bad speling, which is why I’m the nurse!

Thinking of you and saying a prayer every night for your poor stump! Love you love you write me Gwendolyn