#lorroakan who??

[not-so-blue]

BALDUR'S GATE 3 — they all deserve a little slutty sitting session

[lo-batteryy]

wip of more grumpy Gale, I’ll post the whole sketch page of this tomorrow I have more to draw

[invinciblerodent]

how do property laws work in Faerûn

no really, legally speaking, how can Rolan just take over Ramazith's tower? because on paper, all that happened is that adventurers waltzed into a home, killed the owner, and then... the apprentice, whose name -let's face it- is probably not on any sort of paperwork whatsoever, decided that he just owns the building and the land now? in the Upper City, the rich-tits district of Baldur's Gate where all the patriars live?

how do wizard apprenticeships even work. is it like regular employment, an unpaid internship, or Some Guy just hangs out in your home until you decide they've learned enough. was Lorroakan just being an asshole, or actually breaking Fantasy Labor Laws.

or is it just wizard laws. are wizard laws not like regular laws. do you just get anything your opponent owns if you best them in a wizard-duel. can (should????) you bring backup to a wizard-duel, or is it considered bad form to use help that's not your apprentice or someone you summoned yourself. is it illegal, or just a bit of a dick move to bring a ticked off aasimar AND a wizard that's a higher level than yourself as backup.

I have so many questions and no answers whatsoever, but I bet there will be a slightly uncomfortable conversation about this among the rebuilt council that ends with "do you actually, honestly miss Lorroakan enough to try and figure this out, or can we just fucking drop it and be glad he's dead"

[justanotherignot]

[snarfflarf]

my biggest bg3 fuckup is somehow completely missing rolan in act 1

[an-excellent-choice]

I love gale and his whole storyline but god I hate Sorcerous Sundries so much. I hate that place with a burning passion.

Do you have any idea how hard to it is disarm, lockpick and sneak in the vaults as hulking barbarian class tiefling that has a limited amount lockpicks.

[lorroakans-archive]

I think it would be really neat if it were possible to get a single Wish spell from Lorroakan instead of the money. I realize he's not strong enough to cast that, but he has contacts.

I think betraying Aylin would be a way more interesting choice if in exchange you could, say, replace Karlach's engine with a normal heart or get rid of Gale's orb.

[avallachs]

and if i said i made a little rolan kisser oc. what then.

[lcftyambiticns]

Here's a soft uwuwu HC as well to, uh... even the asshole/nice scale? Jk, no, it probably won't. Anyway

He likes watching the birds on his balcony in the morning. Every now and then, he'll scatter some breadcrumbs along the balustrade for them.

[niofo]

ah shit, here we go again

aneirin is now a half-drow cleric of kelemvor, which means out of 3 current games i'm playing, 2 are with clerics (the other one is a drow priestess of lolth that i want to romance minthara with).

idris had dark brown eyes, but i decided to give aneirin dark red, just bcos of the drow stuff, he got them after his mother, while his red hair are from his human father. (the other way round than with idris, who had elven father and bannora trevelyan was his bio mother)

i went with life domain bcos there isn't really anything going with kelemvor in the game. but also that means shadowheart will be sitting in the camp most of the time... which is probably good for her as with my previous run i was using her as a tank, i'm sorry sh, but between two puny wizards and astarion... yeah, she was the only one able to tank.

[bogglesgate]

I got to play a little bit this morning without getting too tired/sensory-weird and I love that my first foray back brought me through Sorcerous Sundries, because seeing my girl sneaking around in the vaults surrounded by books, learning new things, etc felt like a fitting return. Giving my pet wizard enrichment after leaving her alone for a week.

[kmartmithril]

Ngl the Lorroakan situation was a little underwhelming given that you can take the path of least resistance and just end the man. Very cool to have Aylin back on the game board once again though, and I love that Rolan’s immediate thought is “I’m moving my brother and sister in!!!”

[dark-and-kawaii]

You can pick who but I'm begging for more smut from you. Zevlor Rolan Haarlep Raphael whoever I just need it. Call me thirsty I don't care.

Shameless Smut

Haarlep x f!Tav/Reader - Zevlor x f!Tav/Reader - Raphael xf!Tav/Reader - Rolan x f!Tav/Reader - Dammon x f!Tav/Reader

⋆˙⟡♡ Notes: I- I picked everyone and added Dammon because i'm horny and unhinged like that... AND BE THIRSTY WE LOVE A THIRSTY HOOMAN!!!

⋆˙⟡♡ NSFW | Haarlep Is The Best | Big Dick Zevy | Creampie | Dirty Talk | Breeding | Pregnancy | Choking | Tail Play | Public Sex | Lorroakan Is A Perv | Dammon Chokes You With His Tail | I Missed Stuff But Oh Well

Enjoy xoxo

Haarlep

“What would the city think, their precious little hero-“ Haarlep thrusted the rest of their cock inside you, “filled with an incubus’s seed.” They continue to ravish your cunt, stretching and filling you so well, you could only pant as you clenched the sheets.

“How would they react-“ Haarlep bent down, their teeth grazing against the back of your neck, their hand caressing your still flat tummy, “seeing their savior swollen with a demon’s child~” The incubus bit down gently, but enough to mark you, a dark red hickey blooming where their lips met your skin. You groaned, tightening up on their cock, the thought of bearing an incubus’s child, bearing a demon child, was strangely arousing.

Haarlep growled at the feeling of you squeezing down on them, and continued pounding into you, their hand tangling in your hair to press your face against the mattress, your ass high in the air. You let out a muffled moan as Haarlep ravished you, the head of their cock hitting that spongy spot inside you every time, and their tail rubbing your clit with a speed and skill that rivaled your own hand. You felt the knot in your stomach tighten and coil, your moans turning into desperate mewls.

“s’too- too much! I-I can’t- AH~!!”

Haarlep’s hand wraps around your throat as they slam into your sopping pussy, the bed creaking, “So pretty with my hand around your delicate little neck-“ headboard slamming into the wall and you just have to hang onto the sheets like your life depends on it.

"Do I scare you?" The incubus purred, letting the hand squishing your neck tighten around it, "Do I terrify you? You know what I am and what I can do." Their voice was low and their breathing harsh.

Haarlep’s breathing picked back up when you nodded- their hip knocking against you painfully when your hand came up and sealed around their wrist, pressing down. Wanting them to do it, to press harder, to push you around more and more, shamed in how good the feel of their hand squeezing your throat made you feel."Y-Yes! Y-you- nngh- a-ah~!” you gasped, "B-but you- f’m-make me f-feel- n-nngh- s’good- AH~!"

You were a mess beneath them, panting and moaning like a bitch in heat, the feeling of them filling you up making you see stars, “gu-gunna fill m-me~” you babbled, eyes rolling back. Haarlep chuckled darkly, their thrusts becoming sloppy.

"Pump you full- fill your womb with my seed- fill you till you're leaking-" Haarlep grinned against your flesh, "-until the hero’s stomach swells with my child- I'll make you a mother, a breeder for my little demons." They mutter, the tip of their tail flicking your clit just right, your thighs trembling and your vision whiting out.

"F-Fuck! Haarlep~!!" Your orgasm slammed into you, making you scream.

“Good! Cum- cum with me, little mortal-!"

"S'gonna- I-I-!! G-Gods, please!~" You sobbed your body going numb. Haarlep always teeters on losing themself at this part, always brought back though to reality by your nails digging into their wrist, and how sweetly you whimper their name.

"H-Haarlep~” you sob, wanting, needing their cum, "I-I want- I w-wanna b-be a m-mother, w-want you t-to f-fill me- g-give me a c-child~" You were crying now, the way your walls just clamp down around them, pulsing and gushing.

"I'll take such good care of you~" they coo, kissing your tears away as they paint your insides white. Their seed warm and thick, Haarlep pressed themself deeper inside you to push their cum even further. Their tip rubbing against your cervix, the incubus wanting to be sure their sperm finds a home in your womb.

Their goal to make sure the shape of their cock is imprinted into your gummy walls, wanting to ruin you for anyone else. 

Rolan

Rolan grabbed your arms, his face deepening in color as soon as his back hits the scroll shelf. He looked down at you, his lips parted in a slight snarl, his nostrils flaring, "Th-Thish is highly inappropriate-." He tries to protest, but you push forward, your lips meeting his. He stiffens for a moment before he relaxes- almost. Pushing you off of him, Rolan glares at you, his lips firm. "You're insufferable-." He groans, “You need to leave before Lorroakan retur-“.

You stare at the cut on his eyebrow, your eyes trailing to find the bruise on his cheek. The marks his mentor left behind… Your eyes darkened, and you press up against him, your chest rubbing against his.

"I'm not leaving until I know you're alright." You hiss, your eyes softening when you find his stare, your lips pursed, “besides~” You tiptoe your fingers up his chest, tracing over his heart, before finding his neck, then his chin. You lean in, gently pulling him forward. His breath hitching. "I want him to catch us~” You glide your nail against his throat, causing Rolan to swallow thickly, his adam's apple bobbing as his eyes flutter close and he sighs.

"You are… insufferable," he says, his voice a mere whisper. Your lips curl into a smirk as you pull him in for a kiss, pressing your body closer.

“Want him~” you trace his bottom lip with your tongue, nipping him gently, "to catch me~" you whisper, his breath deepening, before his hands find their way around your waist, gripping the fabric of your shirt, “to watch me take you~".

Rolan inhales sharply, his lips parting just enough for your tongue to slip through, the heat of his mouth causing your eyes to flutter closed. He groans, his hand cupping the back of your neck, his tongue brushing against yours. You pull back, a string of saliva connecting the both of you. His mouth following yours before you push him back again, “I want Lorroakan to hear my sweet Rolan’s moans~"

You tug up on his robe, "Want him to hear me cry your name~.” You bite your lip, “To watch you fill my dripping pussy with your delicious cum~" You glance up at Rolan, whose face is completely flushed, his lips parted, and eyes dark, “Wanna bruise his ego~”

"You are going to be the death of me," He spins the two of you, your back to the shelf now. His hips roll forward and you can feel the evidence of his arousal.

"I'll be your death." you whisper, pressing up against him.

Rolan groans, his lips ghosting against your neck, "And what a way to go," he mumbles, his breath hot. He kisses along your neck, his teeth grazing over your pulse. He reaches his hand out, and grabs the shelf above you, knocking a scroll onto the ground, "Lorroakan is going to find us." He warns, “ The man knows everything that happens in this tower."

You moan as he bites your neck, his fingers digging into your skin before pushing you down to the ground. Rolan’s hand forcefully flips your dress up, bunching it at your hips, his other hand reaching to rub the wet spot of your panties, "So wet already."

He pulls down your undergarments, his hand slipping between your slick folds, his thumb finding your clit and rubbing it in slow circles, his middle finger sliding into you, his index finger teasing the edge of your ass, "Such a degenerate," he purrs, his tail flicking behind him.

You moan, rocking your hips, feeling his fingers slide in and out, “Rolan~," you mewl, spreading your legs, your chest pressed into the wooden floor.

"Look at you, getting so wet, so loud." His fingers move faster, the lewd, wet noises filling the tower. You moan, reaching a hand back, grasping his arm. Rolan grunts, "Do you want Lorroakan to find us? Hear me make you a sloppy mess?" He growls, adding another finger, "Do you want him to see how good you're taking my fingers? Hear the noises you make?"

You nod, "Yes!" you mewl, "P-please~, rut into me, Rolan~."

He scoffs, his fingers leaving you, the wetness trickling down your thighs. You feel his cock slide between your slick folds, a low groan leaving his throat, "Such a needy thing," he mumbles, his lips trailing soft kisses along your back, "My needy thing." he growls, his hands wrapping around your waist, his tail coiling around your leg.

He pushes in, a small groan leaving his throat, his hips flush against your ass, his head pressed into your back, "So tight," he groans, his nails digging into your sides, "My beautiful girl."

He starts to move, pulling out until only the tip is left, and then roughly thrusting in. You gasp, pushing back against him, feeling his hips slap against your ass, "R-Rolan~" you moan, clawing the wood beneath you, "M-More~" you whine.

Rolan moves his hands to your breasts, groping and pinching throat the thin fabric of your dress, his thumbs rolling over your nipples, "How lewd of you, getting turned on by the thought of being caught." He teases while he rocks his hips, his tail tightening around your leg. He grunts, his thrusts growing erratic, his nails digging into the tender flesh of your breasts.

Rolan is too focused on you, his rough snaps causing scrolls to fall from the shelf beside you, but as you tilt your head you notice a pair of eyes staring at you, their cock in their hand.

You lock eyes with Lorroakan, who watches silently. The sight of him causes a chill to run up your spine, your back arching as Rolan pulls you up giving Looroakan a perfect view of his cock thrusting into you, your juices coating his cock making a mess on the floor. Rolan doesn't stop, his nails digging into the soft flesh of your breasts, his head buried in the crook of your neck. "Cum for me," He whispers in your ear, his hot breath fanning against your neck, his pace unrelenting, his cock hitting all the right places.

"M' s'so close~," You whine, your eyes never leaving Lorroakan’s, "C-Cumming~" you mewl, closing your eyes. Your body tenses, and the knot in your stomach snaps, your legs twitching as Rolan keeps thrusting, your walls clenching around his cock. Rolan's hips stutter, his thrusts growing sloppy, and a low groan leaves his throat, "D-Damn," he grunts, his cum spilling out, the warmth causing a shudder to run through your body.

You hear Lorroakan groan, his own cum covering his hands. His eyes meet yours, and you bite your lip, your hand reaching behind your to pull Rolan's face to yours. "Kiss me~," and he obliges, his hand slipping between your legs, rubbing your overstimulated clit, "Again?" He chuckles, "Such a dirty girl."

You would keep at it until Lorroakan had to come pull you off Rolan…

Raphael

"Sweet little mouse." Raphael whispers, taking in how fucked out you are beneath him, wheezing out how good he feels. 

"Do you like being pinned down like this, hm?" it's an almost teasing lilt. You think he’s laughing at your stupefied state, but in reality he’s marveling, basking in how good you are to him, greedily accepting his cock.

You nod your head, whimpering. The motion is a pathetic, weak jerk. A few strands of hair fall across your forehead. He takes note of how flushed your cheeks are, how glossy your eyes look.

The sight makes him groan. You feel so good, clenching and spasming around him with each thrust, making him throb and swell.

He has you trapped, completely. Raphael has broken you to the point where all you can do is take his cock, whimpering and crying as he drives it deeper into you, stretching your insides so that they fit his shape and no one else's ever again. Eradicating the memories of those who had been with you prior.

You think to yourself, there’s nothing more delicious than being pressed, pinned down onto his bed, bred like livestock, and barely able to suck in a shaky breath of air between each rough thrust.

The feeling of his cock plunging deep inside, filling you up, stretching you, is addicting. You don't know how many times he’s made you cum, only that it doesn't seem to stop. Unable to focus on anything else besides the cock splitting you open and the pleasure wracking through your body.

"M-more~!!" you wail against the sound of your squelching cunt, feeling his thick cock tug at your walls as he leaves. It’s a frenzy entanglement- you provoke him, spur him on to drive into you faster and harder, the way you wiggle and clench down onto his thick cock, creaming so hard that with each impact you can not only hear it- you feel it splatter down in between the folds of your stretched cunt, drip down the seam of your ass. 

The cambion more than willing to provide. He’ll keep you forever, a beautiful ornament for his bed, his own personal toy to fuck whenever he desires, a perfect suitor to give him children, an army of his own blood, a pretty little thing to keep by his side. 

Zevlor

“Mm~ Zevlor-” warm hands made their way up your thighs. You gasped at the feeling of your underwear being pulled to the side. The cool air nipped at your hot skin. 

"I- I missed you so much, Zevy.”

The tiefling let out a soft hum, "I’ve been quite busy, haven’t I?" his tail brushed against your folds, and your breath hitched.

He chuckled and pressed his thumb on your clit. He began rubbing it in circles and you mewled in delight.

"I apologize," he whispered in your ear.

His lips trailed hot kisses down your arm, his hands wondering over your entire body, pausing at your swollen belly and looking up at you.

You met his gaze with half lidded eyes and smiled, caressing his cheek. His eyes softened and a smile grew on his lips as he continued kissing lower and lower. Situating himself in between your thighs, he hooked your legs over his shoulders, as he buried his face in your pussy.

The heat of his tongue sent a shiver through your spine and a groan escaped your lips. You arched your back off the bed and grabbed his horns.

"Z-Zev~" his thick fingers held your cunt lip apart, his tongue making small circles around your clit before a finger probed at your dripping hole.

"S's~ hahhh~" Zevlor curled his fingers, feeling for the spongy spot that made you arch your back for him, careful not to scape your insides with his nails. Your hips bucked into his face but his other arm held you down and prevented you from moving, “I~ please~ please~! Zevlor! I-“ You blushed, holding your swollen belly, “N-need you~”

Zevlor pulled away from you and you whined at the loss. He looked at you and licked his lips. His horns glistened from the sweat on your hands, his lips and chin shiny from your juices.

He crawled on top of you and kissed your forehead, then your nose, then finally, his lips met yours. You sighed into the kiss, tasting yourself on him, his tongue exploring every corner of your mouth, your tongues dancing. His hand finding the swoll of your stomach where his child grows…

His child.

Zevlor still can’t get over it. The thought of it turns him on and he can feel his own cheek flush with embarrassment. He constantly thinks about how he filled you up so full of his cum it had gotten you pregnant, the sounds of you begging him to impregnate you still lingering. You were so beautiful like this, so plump and soft. He’d never admit it, but if he could, he’d put another child in you this second. 

“Fu~ S’so tigh-tight~~” you squirmed beneath him as he pushed into your sopping cunt. Despite bedding with him countless of times it was always such a stretch. Your toes curled and a long drawn out moan escaped your lips as your hole greedily took in his thick girth.

He let out a guttural groan as he felt your velvety walls envelop him. It had been a few days since the last time you two had sex and your insides hugged him so tightly, so nicely.

He slowly thrusted his hips, relishing in the wet heat of your cunt.

Dammon

"D-Dammon! I-I'm so sorry! I‘ll be a good girl, I swear!" Lying in the hay you struggle against the rope wrung around your wrists, but Dammon easily presses his foot over the both of your bound arms, forcing you to stay still. He kneels down beside you, his lip lower down to your ear, nose inhaling your scent as he talks down to you calmly and quietly, "Keep count.”

You take in a shaky breath before nodding in agreement, fingers balling up into tight fists as you brace yourself for impact. The first strike of his hand comes down hard, stinging the delicate flesh of your exposed bottom. A small yelp leaves your mouth and you instinctively move forward, “Ah~ O-One! Another strike and you cry out louder this time, tears welling up in your eyes, "fu’-Two!"

The next six strikes come in quickly, and by the end of it your tears and mascara paint your face, your lip tint smeared from burying your face against rough hay inside the barn… Your ass marked with his handprints, and Dammon finds himself running a fingertip over the sore flesh, smirking lightly to himself. "So desperate from my cock that you couldn't even control yourself in front of her, could you?"

"Y-Yes-!."

It was true, you always grew envious when Karlach was around, desperate to show her that Dammon belonged to you.

He pulls you up so that you're resting on your knees, your face now level with his crotch. Dammon’s calloused hand grips your jaw tight, forcing his thumb past your lips.

"Are you going to be good for me," he says darkly, and you can't help the whimper that rises when his coarse thumb and nail presses down on your tongue, saliva pooling. He takes his thumb from your mouth with a pop. His hand fishing his cock out of his slacks, "Go on, wrap those pretty lips of yours around me." and you open your mouth wide, tongue lolling out to lap at his cock.

Dammon's cock is impressive in size, thick and veiny with a bulbous head, and the sight of you kneeling before him, tied up, lips stained and eyes puffy from crying has him leaking pre cum.

Dammon's hand that had been gripping your jaw moved to grip a handful of your hair, his tail coiling around the base of your throat, choking you in a way that leaves you moaning around him.

The head of his cock hits the back of your throat, and you choke, eyes welling up with tears as you look up at Dammon who looks back down at you, smirking, "Can't have you forgetting that you’re the only one that belongs to me."

Dammon thrusts his hips forward, pushing his cock further down your throat, "This is mine." He struggles to keep his eyes open, heavy, breathy moans escaping him as you take more of his length, bobbing your head as you twist and slide your tongue around and under his cock, tracing every vein and ridge. 

Each time you take him deeper and farther you ignore the tight pressure on your throat. You're his to use right now, and despite the pain, you'll be his good little throat hole. His hips twitch a little, making your eyes water and throat tighten. Your breathing is heavy, the taste of him on your tongue the only thing you can focus on. Dammon’s tail squeezes your throat, and your moans vibrate around his cock and appendage.

He groans, voice heavy and strained, "So obedient when my cock stretches your throat.” 

It isn’t long until he begins fucking your mouth, pulling out and pushing back in deep, a loud groan escaping him when your nose bumps against his pelvis. The sounds of you choking and gasping for air has him lost in the moment. He can feel the way your throat bulges against his tail every time he thrusts forward.

You gag, saliva dripping down the corners of your mouth, tears and mascara running down your face. And yet you look so beautiful like this. You take everything he gives, your eyes fluttering closed in bliss as you feel your mind begin to cloud.

“Going to fill your stomach with my cum, make sure you never forget what we have, princess." His words come out in a strained growl, the pace of his thrusts growing erratic.

You whine around him and dig your nails into his thigh when he keeps fucking your face, your vision swaying and darkening. “Going t-to.” You can barely hear, trying to push him away by instinct. His hold on your neck and hair is too tight though, his hot cum shooting down your gullet and forcing you to swallow every drop.

Dammon releases you, watching you slump down on the ground while cum and drool leaks from the corners of your mouth, his tail wiping up some of the excess. He kneels down, pulling your limp form against him, holding you tightly against his chest as you take in large gulps of air.

"You are the only one for me, I promise." He swipes a stray hair from your face, “My one and only girl.”

You look up at him with a dazed expression, a smile on your lips as you rest your head on his shoulder. Dammon’s tail curling around you as he plants a soft kiss on the top of your head, a gentle purr emitting from his chest

[thedomesticanthropologist]

Why are people sleeping on the darker sides of Gales character and reducing it down to "he was groomed so it's not his fault/he only does it to hide his insecurity BC he hates himself so it's fine"

Y...you know his hubris is mega sized right? His ego is crazy inflated right? He's a power hungry man who genuinely thinks he's better suited to welding ultimate power than anyone else and he actions this perspective in game if you support him in it/unless you interrupt him right?

Like he has the Wizard Ego we see in Rolan, in Lorroakan. He has it too. It's kind of a wizard... Thing in the game at least, where they act like they're hot shit and spend their time trying to put other wizards down because they treat it like Highlander lol (THERE can BE only ONE ultimate hot shit wizard and of course it's me!)

He thinks he has the best opinions, he thinks he's the smartest, he thinks he's the best suited for power and that he's entitled to it because he's the best. He is extremely ambitious and he thinks being ambitious is one of his best qualities.

Have you seen his reaction if you try to let your Tav deal with that magic in that scene? Where he goes off about being the most qualified and that you CANT do it, and if you do he calls it sheer dumb luck?

Like you can totally say he acts this way due to severe insecurity but *he 1000%* DOES act this way in game and again, it's good writing! Is he a loving gentleman? Was he groomed and abused? All yes.

Does he have the hubris of a man who thinks he's better than everyone else and deserves godhood for himself and does he have an ego the size of Faerun that is also so delicate he threatens to explode if you tell him he's unimpressive ? Yes

Cause he's multi faceted and well written and he has good aspects and rough aspects and questionable characteristics and negative characteristics almost like a person who is capable of being many things at once, like real people are.

C'mon, fandom, let's try to take characters for all that they are and not pedestal them. It really take the flavour out of the experience because there's so much potential in characters that are more than just the 'best' parts of themselves

He also grows and changes throughout the game based on your characters influence and that's important to note as well because that's super cool and it means he has character development

[gnomishcunning]

there’s something delightfully angsty thinking about rolan, trying and failing to cope with his (seemingly) unrequited feelings for tav.

there’s this person, this hero, who has a magnetic attraction or second sense for whenever rolan is experiencing despair. they swoop in and play a first-hand witness to every godawful moment in his life. from keeping them from leaving the grove and perishing on the road, to finding him drunk off his ass at last light, to walking into sorceries sundries and blatantly questioning the bruises on his face.

worst off, they do everything in their power to fix it: they keep him and his siblings together, they save his only family from the depths of moonlight towers and his own ass from the shadowlands, and then beat up his abusive master and hand him an Archmage’s title on a silver platter.

by act 3 of baldur’s gate he owes all his success to this person he can only mentally rectify as his personal guardian angel. he has his life, his family, and he’s living his lifelong dream thanks to them. they’ve seen him at his worse and they did everything in their power to help him anyways, and what does he get?

an ego that died a quiet death somewhere in the shadowlands, that got buried under Lorroakan’s boot heel. a tower and a magic canon that, gods help him, may help him find a way to repay a single iota of the multiple life debts he owes his hero. memories of his mistreatment of them along the road to baldur’s gate.

and these feelings, these godsawful feelings he can’t bring himself to put a name to. a longing so great it hurts, admiration so deep it he hasn’t found the depths of it, a love so great it scares him, so desperate it has him making awkward, stilted jokes about being friends, pledging his help to fight a literal netherbrain, jokingly (not jokingly) referring to himself as the dashing master - trying and failing to endear himself to his seemingly-insane savior while they prance about in a party full of insanely attractive bachelors, all gunning for their attention.

he knows he can’t compare, after how he treated them. he just doesn’t measure up. they’ve seen him at his worst and he can’t be loved by someone like them, after that, but-

his grumpy little jokes always earn him that weird little sideways smile, and it sends his heart a-fluttering.

so he’s going to try.

he’s always been good at embracing hopelessness, anyways

[normal-thoughts-official]

dame aylin's whole speech when she kills lorroakan is extremely underrated btw but the part that gets me the most is the simple

"Dame Aylin is watching. She is indomitable"

the emphasis she puts on her name and on "she" is so beautiful. after so long of being treated as an object, called an it by most, lorroakan included, of being the nightsong, a relic, she reclaims her personhood here. her name is dame aylin and you will not call her anything else. she is a woman, not an object. and no one can take that away from her. she is indomitable, and she will never be reduced to a "relic" again

and with her being a woman obviously the extra layers of this. especially since her name also denotes womanhood (dame aylin, not just aylin), both times she is drawing attention to her personhood and her womanhood at the same time. those are tied to each other; personhood, which is so often tied to manhood (mankind, etc), here is expressed in a way that cannot be dissociated from her womanhood. she is a woman, and you will treat her with respect

and she is indomitable

in a world that tries so hard to tame women, make them pretty and palatable and small, to put them in metaphorical soul cages in service of men, which in her case was quite literal, she says she is indomitable. nothing and no one will hold her down, and she will continue to be loud, violent, strong, desire unabashedly, and all the things that are looked down on women

this also makes the "you are broken by its beauty" more powerful to me. because beauty is so often everything that a woman is reduced to; a woman's entire value is often tied to looks in a man's eyes. but when dame aylin calls herself beautiful, it is not in any way a beauty meant to make her desirable and palatable to men; on the contrary, her beauty breaks them. her beauty is in her violence, in her strength, in her wild and indomitable nature. and it cannot be reclaimed to be something that belongs to a man. her beauty is her "unfeminine" traits, it's her refusal to conform, her strength. everything that makes her undesirable to all the gamer men who hate her is what she calls her "beauty" here. not for anyone to admire, but for her to yield. not to be maintained desperately, but an inherent part of her

it's a subtle yet powerful flip of misogynistic expectations of her, and makes me love her all the more