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tinystepsforward · 14 days

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ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".

like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!

on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.

returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body

literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence

#reblogs turned off because obviously i'm already bracing to be pilloried for saying one thing not quite correctly or whatever #and also bc i have zero interest in having this be boosted by trans dudes on their own transandrophobia agenda either #i'm just venting #but frankly the first time i got yelled at for saying that as an intersex person some of the immense violence i experienced as a child #was motivated by transmisogyny #i was a teenager and it was someone a fair bit older than me with more local clout so like. it's been a decade. how is it worse now.#intersex spaces have made SO much progress and yet #also yes i'm femme! i'm femme in a trans way! many dykes who aren't women are!#many of us got more comfortable w it as adults who had gender agency!#in literally the same way it took my wife ages after transitioning to work out she's also butch and doesn't actually want to do femme thing #bc that's a shared experience in how we've navigated the expectations of womanhood before opting out of the parts we don't want!#anyway the lawcomm shit was fucked bc honestl i don't give a shit if someone lost their gonads as an adult in an accident #they should be protected even if they don't consider themselves intersex #and we know that gender as an axis of oppression comes back to the reproduction of the nuclear family #and that cis women who can't have kids sometimes become the political football though ofc not as much by far and like #idk. y'all ever heard about solidarity? sometimes i feel like i'm back in the place where the loudest traumatised person at the party #is yelling at another young woman like “you'll never understand what it's like to be a victim”#when said young woman was assaulted the week before.#a politics that starts by defending and defining oneself w oppression kinda fucking sucks actually #and intersex people stopped policing intersexness by who got mutilated a long time ago #bc actually we want the generations ahead to not get that treatment #and when i see “trans elders” going on about how “if you pass and got on hrt before 18 you're not trans like i am” i'm like. why! what!#anyway. tired.#may regret this. we shall see #tony muses

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slimslamflimflam · 19 days

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Wait if all the journal 3 pages were restored after Weirdmageddon why does Bill’s book insist there were still missing pages that just conveniently happened to pertain to his incredibly sad backstory and concepts brought up earlier in that same book

#going off of memory here for that first bit but iirc the journal gets chucked into the bottomless pit alongside the other two #with all of their pages still intact #right?#so then why would bill have more pages if there shouldn’t be any more?#gf #screw it this goes in the general tags too #gravity falls #the book of bill #ANSWER ME YOU FUCKASS TRIANGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ALSO if the answer is supposed to be “ford tore them out of the journal out of shame” wouldn’t it make more sense to leave them in as a-#cautionary tale? he already left the “my muse” pages in why should these be any different? to protect his identity? fiddleford’s?#the last half of journal 3 throws all anonymity out of the window too #so then if he didn’t tear the pages out himself… why would bill have them? HOW would he have them; he’s stuck in the theraprism!#did he stow them away somewhere? nope; he burnt the journals and then got punched into oblivion. could one have popped up at the theraprism #nope; specifies its journal 3 lost pages! how could he have gotten journal 3?#okay so the pages are fake. what about the events that happened on them?#look into my eyes and tell me you really believe fiddleford won against the krampus. the guy who built a mind eraser gun after getting-#snatched by a different monster.#sure SOME events could have happened— who’s to say they didn’t? but when you take into account everything else about the pages and the book #how believable is it really?#how believable is anything he says for that matter? how much are truths? half truths? lies on paper but truths from a different angle?#“LIE UNTIL WHAT YOU WANT TO BE TRUE BECOMES TRUE.”#“LIE UNTIL YOU CANT REMEMBER WHATS A LIE AND WHAT ISNT.”#“LIE UNTIL YOU ARENT LYING ANYMORE”#how much are lies that he wishes were true?

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ofyorkshire · 3 months

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hummmms... reminded that bj would actually be very susceptible to cults.

desperate for connection, love, and acceptance in multiple angles. would bend, quite frankly, to any amount of it and forgives a lot in order to get it.

#it's an interesting thought exercise to try to decide if your muse would be aware enough to avoid being absorbed into a cult.#i think most people are more susceptible than they realize but still.#patrick would not bc he's patrick. he's too keyed into the manipulation tactics bc he is a manipulator himself lmao.#sean... probably not. i think he's a little too independent. it's not impossible but i don't think it'd be easy.#nathan's more likely to accidentally start one. ironically i don't think klaus would start one at all and find that plot a bit. weak.#but then i also like klaus' og 'started a strip club in the '60s' storyline a little more. that would've been better.#i lost my train of thought. anyway.#out of fairy tales [ooc];

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hardrockshrimp · 11 months

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Whuh

#i have a boyfriend now (real actually this isnt a bit about Kiefer) and we saw the lost boys and GIGGLE #transmasc movie #scribblies #i really love davids expressions like holy shit kiefer has such a FACE on his #his face meat #yknow #like the way contorts his face in some scenes is so #i HAVE to draw him #the way he frowns is so good for drawing like just the way he FROWNS #like it is a cartoonish downturn of both corners of his mouth #musings aside #the lost boys #its cold out and im waiting for my bus #kiefer sutherland

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snickerdoodlles · 6 months

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there's a lot of things people blame for why fandoms feel like ghost towns these days, but no one's really talked about the way discord's contributing to it

#its like #people are trying to force fit discord's chatrooms into forum boards #except discord is just. really really *really* poorly setup for that #and theres no way to archive or share it so everything said in it is easily lost despite personal export or community pins or search option #and like #vaguely hearing about the way some people are unsatisfied with them/feeling unfufilled in the response to them #a lot of people would be better off posting those things to places like tumblr #where there isnt a time limit on when people see or respond to them #part of what's scary/frustrating on tumblr rn is some fandoms arent good about reblogging to posts or tag rambling #like with bad buddy a large part of the fun was the enthusiastic and in depth tag rambles and the way responses built on each other #vs something like kinnporsche which feels much more like-oriented #like? its not like theres any one way to fandom #and there's nothing actually wrong with likes or quiet reblogs #but vaguely hearing about the way some people were/are really upset with some servers im just kinda like #idk #feels a bit like people trying to force a square thru a circle or that they're looking in the wrong spaces for what they want #.......this is not a complaint for my space ajkds i think i've carved out a pretty happy space for myself!#im just checking the reblog graphs of some old vs new stuff and thinking about a convo other cookie and i were having over the weekend #i have a lot of friends around and i love everyone who's happy to ramble with me #but i do feel a slight case of DM burnout rn where mostly people reach out to me via DMs instead of reblogs #which is a very different dynamic #its like. hmmm words #i love DMs but the pressure of responding to a lot of individual messages #vs something like reblogs which is more open forum for everyone and feels more communal #if that makes sense?#the difference between visiting one person at home vs casually hanging out with a group at a cafe #and the lovely thing about tumblr specifically is that i can set down a reblog chain for several days if i need #before returning to it later when i have more time/energy #its got Longevity that discord lacks u know #........okay enough tag musings from me ajkfhjdgfhj BYE

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amischiefofmuses · 7 days

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Aaaand, his profile is up.

#[Took me a bit because I passed tf out at my desk again smh I need to stop doing that]#[Now it's bedtime - shall be around tomorrow to try and do thingssss]#Lost To Time || Nathan Summers #Accessing Data || Cable HC #Comms Disturbance || Cable Ask #Advanced Tech || Cable Likes #Tactical Gear || Cable Wardrobe #Timeline Addendum || Cable Musings #Preventative Measures || Cable Verse #Outta Time || Cable Verse #Those Eyes || Cable Verse #Futuristic Hellscape || Cable Aesthetics

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abyssembraced · 1 month

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Where did Ghost really go before returning to Hallownest ?

Frankly, the question that was asked of them was one that Ghost wouldn't mind knowing the answer to themself.

Their memories... Even their early ones from when they first returned to Hallownest were hazy and fragmented. The more challenging fights they'd faced in the Crossroads and their first encounters with the bugs they'd come to call their friends still existed in their mind, yet lay scattered and untethered from each other with unknowable gaps in between, with no certainties as to even the order in which any of the events occurred.

Before that? They knew hardly anything of their past.

What did they do in the vast, endless wasteland outside Hallownest? What caused them to return to the fallen kingdom? Why did they even leave it in the first place?

They didn't know.

They typically didn't care to think on those questions much, either—it made more sense to focus on the present, and the things they knew now, rather than dwell on an unrecoverable past. Yet, here they were, being asked to recount those lost memories.

They... Could at least make an attempt?

Grasping at those memories was hard. Though they knew for a fact that they had spent much of their life outside the kingdom's bounds, it was as though the memories of that time had never existed in the first place.

But... They could fight. Even before coming back to Hallownest, they already knew how to wield a nail. So, then... They must have met someone out there. Travellers, perhaps. Someone who taught them how to fight—or at least the basics of it, anyway. Perhaps they were even the one to gift them the nail that had since carried them through many battles, or maybe that was a different Someone.

But who? Ghost couldn't picture them. They didn't even know for sure that such a person had even existed, but it only made sense, right?

...

There was only one time that they had ever managed to recover a long thought lost memory, and that was with the Dream Nail. If they were to enter their own dream once more, unlock the hidden secrets within their own mind... Would that give them answers? Would it do anything at all?

Although... Did it even matter? The stranger's curiosities aside, they... Didn't particularly care about discovering their past. It wasn't as though whatever it was that had happened back then could be changed. Nor did they think that learning anything new about it would affect their present life. They were happy where they were right now, with their family and friends in the recovering Hallownest.

Yes.

They didn't remember what they did before their return to Hallownest, but that was okay.

#ask #.🪲#🪲 ghost ic #🪲 headcanon | ghost #distrxst #🪲 verse | post dream no more #((trading a backstory ask for a backstory ask are we? dhdgshf))#((except that ghost doesn't remember Anything about their time before returning to hallownest rip dgshf))#((they weren't conscious enough to actually form memories at that point))#((even the abyss cutscene was something they only remembered In That Moment thanks to the dream nail))#((and i'm inclined to say that that memory was a special exception. perhaps due to the high quantities of void in the abyss))#((and my ooc answer honestly isn't super interesting! hence why i wrote a little ic thing instead <3))#((i think ghost just kinda. wandered around aimlessly in the wastes for several years.))#((they did meet various people! including someone who taught them to fight like they speculated))#((whether or not it was the same person who gave them their nail is something i haven't decided and probably never will))#((there was also someone who taught them sign language and how to read and write!))#((ghost didn't bring that up in their musing because they haven't realized that those are things that actually need to be taught))#((they think it's just kinda. something they've always inherently had? like their ability to understand hallownest's spoken language))#((though to be fair. at least *some* of it probably *is* an inherent ability/knowledge for them due to being a deity))#((they may have hung around various campsites and such at others' requests for a bit but they never had a permanent 'home'))#((even if people *wanted* them to stay. they'd always eventually end up wandering off on a hunt and then were never seen again))#((they never ended up wandering into any living kingdoms like pharloom either. they just stuck to the wastes))#((and they were able to gather enough soul from the lesser creatures out there for their body to stay alive. but not much else))#((they never gained enough nutrients out there to ever be able to molt for example))#((and then in hallownest where soul *is* more plentiful they uh. became entirely void biologically. and thus lost the ability to molt))#((which is why they still look like a child vessel physically))

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timewontwait · 10 months

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hmm if i have the energy for it maybe i'll have them do their yearly 'airdrop christmas presents from the tornado' tradition again

#🌀 — later guys! i’m outta here. ❪ ooc. ❫#it was something i used to do every year #though i kinda lost a bit of steam for doing holiday themed rps #it could still be fun though!#i should consider what my muses will be doing for christmas

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yeonban · 10 months

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Yk at this point I might as well write the novella length post I've been meaning to about Dan Heng and how he used to view Jing Yuan vs how he views him now

#muse: dan heng.#The more I look back on the storyline; the more details I find about JY's importance in DH's life from the moment of rebirth til now #It does amuse me tho that DH used to be on the dislike end of the spectrum bc he was always left in the dark about his sentence #but it made me sob when in his voicelines he said that (after a while) he understood that the banishment was actually a mercy given to him #and it's making me so :') to think about how DH was about to leave the Luofu the second JY went to recuperate bc THAT'S #when he no longer felt safe on the Luofu. when JY wasn't around anymore. I may have lost it a bit at that scene I fear #(double that when in Jingliu's quest DH was about to pack his bags and leave again when she told him JY isn't there/is busy w smth else)#like JY went from being sb DH mildly disliked to being sb DH canonly feels /safe/ around and I can't even describe how much that means #The scene above is just one of the MANY reasons why he's warmed up to JY as fast as he did but it's def one of my favorites #JY: I can't guarantee your safety. I hope you can understand #Also JY bless his heart: (joins the fray to guarantee DH's safety against assassins even tho he's still recuperating and barely standing)#Their dynamic is so close to my heart NO MATTER in what light we look at it. And Blu only made my brainrot worse w our plotting

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byanyan · 6 months

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okay i'm done spamming ur guys' dashes with aesthetic posts... i mean, i tried spreading them out a bit so as to avoid annoying anyone, but. yeah lmao. tysm once again to all of u who sent the prompts!!! i probably spent more time on all of them than i should have, but i had a lot of fun with it ♡

#of course now i have just lost one of my patented muse discussion essays right as i was finishing it thanks to discord crashing on me...#so i'll be losing my mind for a bit!! i was having a good time and now i'm immensely discouraged & frustrated!!!!!!!#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.

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ircnwrought · 7 months

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amaya and the autmn king

the portal amaya fell through transported her to avallen. wounded and disoriented, she claimed asylum with king morven through the ancient language of the fae. though she never admitted where she came from, rightfully fearful that morven or others would use the knowledge of her homeworld against her, morven recognized the scale of her power and adopted her into the royal family under what he believed to be her true name (rather than her middle name). thus, lorin donnall was born.

amaya's affinity for avallen-specific shadow magic and her dark looks allowed her to easily pass as the king's niece, but her independence and opinionated streak were intolerable for the conservative backwards society. in addition to learning the new language of her adopted people and being coerced into using her illusion magic for morven, amaya walked a tightrope of fear for about two centuries. the attempts to turn amaya into a "proper lady," culminated in a final threat. marry or be cast out ( or worse ) she didn't for one moment think morven was bluffing so instead she swallowed her pride and volunteered herself as a bride for the autumn king. anything to escape avallen.

einar's ascension to the throne a century before underscored a need for a bride and an heir. having no other female relatives, morven was more than happy to oblige in signing the marriage contract for amaya. due to the difficulty in conceiving fae can have, amaya's contract laid out a marriage obligation for 500 years. failure to produce an heir in that time would result in divorce and disgrace ( and likely a return to avallen to face even more dire consequences ) she grew to love einar initially and though he treated her with respect in the early days of the marriage, the respect quickly deteriorated into indifference. amaya was never crowned queen or considered einar's consort.

as the unofficial autumn queen, amaya was kept in a life of luxury that was truly a gilded cage. she retreated into herself and made herself the maleable wife to survive. meanwhile, einar continued his affairs and his descent into verbal and emotional abuse.

roughly 250 years after the marriage, amaya conceived ruhn and the production of a male heir catapulted her back into the good graces of the king. he showered her in gifts, gave her increasing freedoms, and generally ceased to interact with her outside of official events (a mercy to amaya, though she would be subjected to one more of einar's horrors after her near abandonment: when she tried to defend bryce from being cast out of the autumn palace after her visit to the oracle which resulted in the autumn king's sigil burned between her wings to "remember what court" she "owed loyalty to"). never did she suspect einar burned ruhn and believed she had spared her son the worst of his father.

#(( this...has made me so incredibly sad that i'm going to lay down here for a bit ))#tw: abuse #(( bc the autumn king is an ASSHOLE; a sentiment that is echoed by my bryce muse ))#❛ lost to time ❜ ▬ ( amaya headcanon. )

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masquenoire · 1 year

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Circe wasn't the first girl Roman kissed. He actually hit it off with another girl at the All Girl's Boarding School his parents sent him off to during his early teens, the two sneaking off for a bit of 'private fun' until the bullying incident occured where he lost his temper and glassed his tormentor's face.

#💀 || musings #💀 || headcanons #It's Sunday!!!!!!!!!#And I'm feeling a little better!#Started taking Feroglobin and my god it feels like it's already made a world of difference #Was so lacking energy but the second half of work kicked in and I actually got stuff done #Don't feel half dead on my feet anymore and have a bit of appetite again #Might have helped having steak for dinner too but have been very low on iron #But yeah here's a fun headcanon for ya'll #Roman still thinks about that girl from time to time #He forgot her name but it was a pretty prominent memory #Probably wouldn't have hated the all girl's school so much if it weren't for the bitches there #That other girl nearly lost an eye #Mr. and Mrs. Sionis had to fork out a LOT of hush money for that little outburst lmao #It was also the beginning of the end for them #Roman had started getting too strong and violent for them to be able to control so easily anymore #He lasted all of 3 days at that school XD

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tearsoftime0086 · 1 year

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Thinking of wild AU concepts tonight and came back to the Amalgam AU idea I had for Resident Evil. It lifts a lot of System Shock 2's dynamic with SHODAN and the Many, but essentially Leon nearly dies in Gaiden after his solo encounter with the B.O.W. parasite. Turns out that parasite had just beaten up the newer, second parasite, so the new parasite clings and melds itself into Leon in order to stay alive. That's why the cut on his throat bleeds green in the ending. Leon just thinks he passed out and is unaware of most of this.

Flash-forward to RE4 and Leon's asking Ashley if she's hearing the weird multiple voices speaking in her head too. Ashley's confused because she isn't, and there's differing symptoms of infection between her and Leon. They chalk it up to plaga behavior, but it really becomes noticeable when Leon successfully gets Ashley treated and passes out.

Ashley wakes up to Leon on the ground, looking more emaciated than normal... like he's lost a significant amount of flesh. Is that even possible?

Then a shadow flits across the wall.

She screams when there's another Leon - a younger, bloodied, Leon, asking her to help "our host".

The Amalgam tells her that they had reached a symbiotic relationship with their host, until this intruder began to ruin their union. "If you repay our favor, then our unity shall be restored. Our intruder shall live as one with us."

Ashley is trying SO hard to not panic because there's one version of Leon speaking like a hive mind with nosism, and the other one is passed out looking super plaga infected at this point. She asks what the Amalgam is, and they politely recite their backstory.

"And what will this... unity mean for Leon?" she asks.

The younger copy's dull eyes seem to look puzzled. "We have always been one. We will return to our harmony, together."

Okay, so this... thing was in Leon the whole time? How come it didn't present itself before? And what's cooperating with it going to do to Leon.

The copy smiles.

"But you fear us. We hear your thoughts - and they rage for the one you believe dead. But he is not. He sleeps in us."*

She eventually agrees, and the copy... merges back into the other body? And when she props Leon up and runs the machine, it malfunctions mid-way. But the inky veins vanish, and Leon opens his eyes.

Cloudy, dull eyes.

Ashley grabs a nearby scalpel before Leon dissuades her. It's the same professional, slightly awkward tone he'd had for the entirety of their time here, which lets her relax, a little. In fact, Leon's the one who's most startled when the Amalgam mentally projects their gratitude to Ashley, now with another voice in their choir.

Anyway, the rest of the AU would be the events of RE4 where Ashley and Leon have to deal with Leon's secret dual parasite hivemind that's now part cruise-ship parasite and plaga. With body double fun times too, because that's a thing Leon can do now.