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#lost somewhere you dont know
aerial-aceing-it · 1 year
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Ok, it's finally down. Getting this guy onto the transport is going to be harder than expected. I'll be assessing damage afterwards, I didn't expect it to get so.. bad. Arceus fucking hell. Everyone ok? We need to set up a better communications relay than fucking tumblr-
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mishapen-dear · 6 months
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something about qbad mentioning how much horror he put red team thru every time purgatory gets brought up... something about how proud dapper was of him.
like this is just my late-night read but- it feels like guilt qbad is trying to twist into pride. he keeps needling away at it. “i killed them all, over and over and over again.” “they were hunted by a monster.”
it’s like- reassurance. like a nail he’s trying o beat into his head. he’s had SO much trouble with legitimately hurting his friends, despite making that vow all the way back when the eggs first went missing, despite all the tree talk and the promises to save the kids no matter what. He never faltered with elq, and that protected them. He keeps faltering now. Sometimes he doesnt remember the code, or cucurucho, or skeppy. But that doesnt matter, right? Because he’ll protect the eggs. He’ll be the monster. he is the monster. he can and he will protect them even as his seams start ripping and he keeps breaking further and further apart. even at his worst, he’ll do whatever he needs to protect the eggs.
he’ll be the monster. wont he?
#qsmp#he loves his friends and he wants to hurt them#he loves his friends and he doesnt want to hurt them#qsmp badboyhalo#ita like. He was torturing himself with the soul vultures because he kidnapped ron and threw down some scary magma mobs#and then forever changwd rhe whole fuckin narrative with that appreciation room and bad remembered the joy of community#and then cellbit. Where bad was like ‘i see him destroying himself to get the eggs back and i know where that road goes’#’his loved ones dont want that to happen to him. i dont want that to happen to him’#and then purgatory gave him the first actal legitimate lead for finding their kids and he just had to get worse#and so he fucking swandived into self destructive violence (and the cc was purposefully playing qbad more recklessly violent)#(bbgirl couldve been lured into a trap so so easily)#ive lost my point somewhere now im just rotating qbbh in my brain and all the parallels#ah yes. But now theyre out of purgatory. And he refuses to regret what he did because he *had* to do what he could to save dapper#and the other eggs#because he has a huge complex about being the ‘only one who can protect the eggs’ because of a thousand little cuts and his mental health#issues. Like he’s Wrong bur its such a fascinating little direction for his character. Yes king burn thyself on the pure of protection#and then burn in a nuclear blast too because your self sufficiency left you to care for your egg alone#you can take care of the eggs. you can hurt your friends. look at how much you hurt your friends#look st the monster you are . your teeth are sharp and your claws are large#never mind that time you sent tina into a panic attack because you tried to recreate safety#never mind that your friends and family are worried about you#you are falling apart. but so many monsters survive the killing blow
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identityquest · 3 months
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lizzie get two wolves 👍
#strato.txt#oil painting#wip#im worried ive unbalanced the composition w the second one on the right tho... its so much closer to the edge#ugh whatever. aunt lizzie is the focus here#i wish i knew what she actually looked like this is just cobbled together from general features of my family#solid build... dark curly hair... bigass ears. she could be one of my cousins. she could be me#ok rq im gonna lay out the story in the tags for anyone who hasnt seen the previous lizzie art#my great-something aunt lizzie was disabled and couldnt walk very well and she died young#she wanted to see the second floor of the farm house real bad but no one ever carried her up there and she died before seeing it#they buried her in a long white dress somewhere down at the creek. we dont know where her graves lost unfortunately#the night she was buried something wearing a white dress walked into the house and up the stairs and disappeared#and sometimes you can hear her down around the creek screaming#somewhere along the line wolves got mixed into the imagery for me#my uncle told me a story about another 'white thing' that was wolfish and would jump on cars#so i just assumed lizzie was a werewolf my whole life#anyways. i think her staying after she died was a manifestation of her desire for autonomy. maybe#maybe if shed had modern accommodations she wouldnt have felt the need to stick around. or maybe she would have idk#either way i think death afforded her control over her own desires in a way she hadnt experienced before#and i think thats why she still hangs around the creek#i hope she would like this. maybe ill take it down there and leave it out for a night when its finished so she can see
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puppyeared · 29 days
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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glittergroovy · 1 month
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dishsaop · 2 months
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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians
#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic#im just like. tired of gnawing#and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get#content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky#young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me#im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances#m text#i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story#not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a#lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out#bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples#and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified#(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here#(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein#out as lesbian#like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has#to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just#and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so#yknow. personal viewer bias here#but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian#and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out#but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes#I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'
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weirdbabs · 9 months
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i am once again thinking about how fucked it is that sacrificing like half to three fourths of the ships/crews to save 3 people is considered a paragon option but sacrificing about 75% of your unit to defeat the enemy is renegade. why would sacrificing thousands of people to save 3 be considered “compassionate” or “heroic” while sacrificing 75% of your unit (which is 7-14 people apparently, so like 5-11 people) to ensure you won is considered “ruthless” or “apathetic”
(i know why. its bc the first mass effect game doesnt really seem to have a grip on what it wants its morality to be much more than blue= nice, good and red= bad, mean)
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navramanan · 6 months
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Isnt it crazy how yes, my liberation notes makes me feel seen in some parts, it also makes me want to die for the things that i dont have compared to the characters
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flamboyant-king · 8 months
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You know me. I like barely ever show any NOT SAFE FOR WORK drawings on here. So instead, I'm sharing drawings of my face AS I was drawing each NOT SAFE FOR WORK thing.
And the subject is right there, smack dab in the middle. Being tormented by the sins of the egg. (I drew him really cute but I can't share the rest.)
ALSO, I'd like to state that it's not corngraphic except like two maybe, it's more so like violent. We are all just having fun beating this guy up. Like, step right up and stomp on his face type shih. I never ever ever draw violent stuff, unless it's lewling related, so this is like cathartic.
This uhh feeling will fade after Halloween hopefully and we'll go back to our regularly scheduled wholesomeness and cammypus.
#i looked in a mirror 20 feet away as reference because im like NYAHAHA WHAT EVILS HAVE I COMMITED#and i see my own smug face in the mirror like 'yes this will get me hunted down'#sketches#i do comedy slapstick violence but ya know doing more darker jokes and adult humor feels nice like im not censoring myself#i mean i still am by not showing you guys a lot of the bloody or even H O RN Y stuff but ya cant expose everything#like for those of yall who have followed me for years id say were all legal here for more than my usual 13+ content#i just want ro be appealing to a broader audience IN CASE i ever did make it somewhere but haha its been what#8 years since i started this blog. any credit i had died off with teeny taku fhjdjsksajsk#ive got no image to uphold. i have nothing im trying to promote anymore. i do but ive lost the plot ya know#im just having fun and im glad you guys are just ...letting me? like i looked at my old stuff#with the cookies the pokemans the fehs the ocs. and yall just let me go freaking wild and thought#yeah ill give that a like. bless yalls hearts. bless ya souls. ive got thousands of posts on here and yall just let me run wild#and thank you for that. ya never pit pressure on me. kts me outting pressure on myself.#i do wish there were folks that did look forward to some actual tangible content instead of me shitposting with no cohesiveness#but thats just hard with adhd. and try as i might with medications and alarms and deadlines and what have you. its just. difficult#like even the tags here are derailing. but i hope that alongside me just having fun doing my thing. i hope i can get on course#where there is a clear line to follow in my life but i dont lose sight of it as i trail off#but for now. im just drawing experimenting and straight up goofing around. have fun you guys#i may not show you everything but just know im having fun too.
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eldritchqueerture · 1 month
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kinda insane how scary this podcast is. jesus christ. what is even going on
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sk3l3t0n444 · 9 months
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i feel like everybody hates me, but especially those who i look up to...i feel like a little kid again...looking up to those who only look down upon me, instead of picking me up and embracing me.
#i just feel like nobody fucking likes me...like everybody secretly hates me and are actively trying to make me feel bad about myself#like i know that probably isnt true...but its the only thing that make sense#like no matter what i do everybody seems to leave me alone in my own little bubble...#everybody has their little groups with their little friends...but i dont...im the one who is a small member of multiple groups...#and that gets me left in the fucking dust#i just want to belong somewhere...i change and adapt to hopefully become a part of some group but it never works#i just want someone to hold me and tell me itll be ok...and that people dont actually hate me...#ykw if you fucking hate me you can tell me anons are on...i just wanna know im not the crazy one here...#im just trying to fit it so much that ive lost myself...who am i and who is what ive become?#i try and be friendly...and hope that i get accepted somewhere but they never really care...#im like the last kitten left in the cardboard box...all the others were cuter and healthier and now nobody wants me#nobody wanted me from the start...and now im all alone#idfk#i would do anything for a hug rn#since january shit has been going downhill...died...moved...gone...and then i had some people who cared and then it all fell apart again...#i just want to belong somewhere ffs...i want to be able to have friends...not just people who tolerate me...#i would rather have one friend that 10 people who tolerate me#idfk...im going to go eat ice cream until i cant feel any emotions anymore...#if i wasnt a pussy i would be stealing my parents alcohol...they already dont like when i eat...#or maybe i shouldnt eat...then maybe someone would love me...idfk...i just want to feel loved and secure and like i fucking belong
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trainingdummyrabbit · 3 months
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anyway Something is going on up there n i dont like it
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ddanmeissu · 2 years
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i need someone i can yell at about my very niche tma au ;w;
(see me playing fast and loose between tma lore and mdzs canon under the cut wheeee~)
this is part headcanon, part drabble, all-around mess. just dont think too hard about it please
the classification of each entity isn’t fully documented yet, smirke’s 14 doesn’t exist, but each major clan has a specific fear that called their founders. there are also some entities haven’t been identified yet so a lot of fears bleed into each other 
they’re still cultivators here. they’re cultivating fear.
golden cores are the physical manifestation of your connection with your god within your body. the more you feed it, the more connected you are to your patron, the more powerful you become.
each clan is a powerhouse to a specific entity but their disciples can be touched by multiple entities (and honestly, i cant make everyone a slaughter avatar) only the sect leader needs to be fully devoted to their fear god
Gusu Lan = Beholding, Qinghe Nie = Slaughter, Yunmeng Jiang = Hunt, Lanling Jin = Stranger, and Qishan Wen = Desolation
wei wuxian was once heavily touched by the hunt. his mother a famous Huntress and rogue cultivator and his father a servant and close friend to the sect of The Everchase
jiang cheng’s Hunt core is slightly weaker but its fine because they are of the same pack. they are partners, brothers in everything but blood, and will hunt down anyone who dares to hurt the other.
jiang yanli isn’t an avatar, not marked by the hunt but touched by the Hive, manifesting more on the love/belonging and family aspect rather than the filth aspect
i have more Thots about the family aspects between hive/hunt and how they are both very possessive on who they call their Persons but expresses it different ways that mirror jyl and jc but that’s for a different post
during their time in the cloud recesses they meet a quiet watcher who wwx immediately zones in on him as his new “prey”.
lan wangji is silent and knowledgeable as is expected from a disciple of the beholding, but there is a certain chill around him that other eye avatars do not have
wwx stalks the poor boy, pounces on him whenever he manages to catch him alone, and is just a general disturbance all-around.
he does not feel the Eyes that sometimes watch him when he is alone.
lan xichen does not need the beholding’s power to see the way his brother looks at the young hunter disciple. he is pleased to feel the cold surrounding the jingshi has lessened. shufu seems perplexed and torn.
wwx’s also has his eye on jin zixuan, the pompous plastic peacock that’s engaged to his shijie. he isn’t actually allowed to hunt him down so he settles on dismembering the lifeless mannequins that he uses as servants.
(playing with the timeline here) they get kicked out when a text is destroyed within the Library Pavilion even though it was just a pornography book (any kind of knowledge is still knowledge) and even though it was lwj who destroyed it (the eye had punished him severely for that).
the desolation!wen are attempting to bring The Scourged Earth into the world. they burn down the cloud recesses “in the name of ‘cleaning up the place’ so that it would be ‘reborn from the firelight.’” ( - directly from the mdzs wiki)
the xuanwu of slaughter is an ancient manifestation of, well, the slaughter and cannot be reasoned with.
(”Lan Zhan, can you See anything?” “No. My connection with The Beholding has been greatly severed.” “Oh. well.. Uh, it’s kinda foggy in here huh? Here have my outer robe, you look kinda cold.” “…Mn.”)
lotus pier burns and jiang cheng loses his core. wwx asks flesh!wen qing for help because only an avatar of the flesh (the boneturner, though that isn’t its name yet) is able to carve open another avatar long enough to take something out and place it somewhere else.
jiang cheng immediately becomes a fully-fledged avatar using wwx’s hunt-influenced core. it manifests as strong bloodlust against the wens, fear of being seen as weak prey by the other clans, (and later, hunting down wwx and other end-aligned cultivators.)
wwx gets thrown in the burial mounds. he is dead for three whole months. and then he wakes up.
his hunter core is gone but that’s fine. he is alive not because he wants to but because he has to. when he is awake, he calls upon the dead to exact his revenge. the wens are defeated and everyone is in frightened awe of the new being that he has unwillingly become. when he is asleep, black tendrils of death plague his dreams. He relives the horrible memories of his own and others’ deaths. sometimes he can feel someone watching him but cannot see them in return.
wei wuxian is alive but he is not part of jiang cheng’s pack anymore. he does not follow them out on hunts anymore, doesn’t even bother to stay within the residences. he isn’t part of their pack anymore, abandoned their patron for something else more powerful, and for what? he feels resentment brewing inside him. resentment and fear.
wwx knew not to trust the polished and waxed faces of the jins. all the wen remnants are non-avatars, barely touched by anything other than the fear the jins had instilled by themselves. they do not deserve this cruelty, to be both entertainment and livestock for the rest of the cultivation world. it is true that death comes for everyone, but wwx will not let these people die at the hands of these strangers.
the wens become touched by the End during their stay in the burial mounds. wen ning, with flute music playing in his head, wins an archery game against Death and finally wakes.
 one day a cold mist surrounds yilling when wwx takes a-yuan out on a stroll. He loses him but finds him again clinging to a man in white robes that looks like he wants to disappear. wwx feels himself smile brightly at the sight. (”lan zhan! it’s so nice to see you again! It’s been so cold out today but luckily it’s warmer now!” “Mn.” “You really blend in with the fog with those white robes of yours. it’s okay though because i’m sure i can find you wherever you disappear to!” “Mn.”)
qiongqi path becomes a massacre of plastic mannequins and not!beings. the smell of death and manufactured flesh fill the air like an offering to his unwanted patron, and black tendrils surround wwx and his assailants. It blinds him and he can’t see it, can’t control it, can’t stop it as jin zixuan is pierced through his chest and falls to the ground, dead.
the clans are outraged. they speak in fear of him, they hear of his power over life and death and that he, like the wen fugitives by his side, is trying to bring about his patron into the world. they call for an attack, a bloodbath to take him down once and for all.
and a bloodbath it is. the entire cultivation world against a one-man army. fear rings high in the air and all the Entities are well fed in the aftermath, the most satisfied: Slaughter and (paradoxical to their intent) The End.
later, much later, when the siege is over and nothing is left of his anchor other than a small child marked by death, lwj accepts the punishment lashes and then goes into cold seclusion. the jingshi is completely covered by clouds of fog. no one can See him, the elders only get a debilitating headache when they try to pry too hard. not even lxc, who has become the Eye’s most devoted avatar, can know his brother’s whereabouts. only lan yuan seems to able to navigate through the dense gloom.
the world moves on
jin guangyao’s wide smiles are not conspicuous within the plastic faces and painted lips within lanling jin. If his limbs are too long or if his smile a bit distorted or if he disappears through a bright yellow door and doesnt come back then no one makes mention of it.
No one also notices the webs above them hidden in the high ceilings of lanling jin nor the tiny spiders that skitter around the gossiping servants, spinning and weaving threads of thick silk around them.
it takes years for his brother to come out from the fog and lxc nearly weeps at the knowledge that The Lonely had not forsaken another member of his family. still, lwj has changed. there is a certain chill around him now that persists wherever he goes. though he has always been silent since childhood, his silence now is cold and unfeeling, eyes faraway as if not seeing those around him and only floating through the days. He is not completely alone though and that is enough to alleviate some of xichen’s worries. 
time abates some wounds but certainly not all. there is still an empty cold pit in lwj’s chest but it does not bleed as freely as it did 10 years before. Before, he would have readily disappeared into the fog when the elders comes to look for him, now he chooses to disappear from the cloud recesses and absconds into night hunts. he goes wherever the chaos is, seeking (but not willing to hope) that he might find something that can stir the deadness in his heart.
tbc ?
#rotating this au hard and fast in my mind's eye#i actually dont know the overlap between the mdzs and tma fandoms but im just assuming there isnt much ???#i kinda got too into it at the end there i didnt know where to stop lmao im sorry im pulling all of this outta my ass dskfjhkdhfk#i still have so many Thoughts for this au and cute lil scenes between these avatar fledgelings#i promise its not all Angst its just that lonely!lwj is a very good source of inspo#is this a fix it? maybe. maybe not.#on one hand i want everyone (except jgs and zixun) to love and be happy#on the other hand lonely!lwj is the entire reason why i thought of this au in the first place#according to the wiki the chinese name for cloud recesses means 'somewhere unknown deep in the clouds'#which is Peak Lonely vibes but i didnt find that out until after i wrote this oops#beholding!gusu lan is staying tho bc i love lonelyeyes!lwj hehe#i almost wrote an entire backstory in the tags about madame lan and how wangji inherited her Loneliness dhsdfkhd#i'll write that on a different post this one is long enough#LANLING JIN IS STRANGER ALIGNED BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL CLOWNS#i was thinking of jzx being replaced by a not!them after qiongqi ambush but hmmm maybe thats for another au hmmmm many thoughts#funfact! in MAG113 decker mentions that only a Hunter can kill an avatar of the End so. do what you will with that knowledge :)#OH HEY I JUST REMEMBERED WWX TOLD LWJ TO 'GET LOST' WHEN LWJ TRIED TO SAVE HIM DURING THE FIRST SEIGE JUST BEFORE HE DIED SO :))))#MY LONELY!LWJ HEADCANON IS GOING STRONG#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#should i tag this as tma? nah#anyways here just take this
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starswordartblog · 8 months
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Shininginktober Days 2 & 3 - Bowie & Oddeye (+ Peter)
Quiet guy carrying the world on his shoulders, quiet guy with demons on his past, and a chicken who talks enough for three people. I love them. I also have no idea if I wanted Peter to be this big but it's too late to go back now lol
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aro-attorneys · 4 months
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everyone shut the fuck up this is the only mod that matters
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I wanted to ask after that quote, if xiaoge is also in a chinese bl alcohol-anti squad in the novels?
😂😂😂 "alcohol-anti squad"? What do you mean? As in intolerant like Lan Zhan or Shen Wei or smth?
No lol, and it didn't seem at least to me like he's against drinking either, if you meant it like that. He doesn’t drink during their "adventure" times, cause he is always on high alert, so that time Wu Xie got upset he wouldn't drink with him was bc Wu Xie and Pangzi were both drunk and Xiaoge didn't trust Yuncai or their surroundings, so he was the only one on guard.
And it's true that he doesn't drink during parties too, even if it's with Wu Xie's close friends and family, bc he keeps an eye on him and sees him to bed. I also remember that while Wu Xie was sick he got drunk in the village with the gang, Xiaoge didn’t drink bc he was watching him and brought him water, when he drank too much. During New Years, even with Pangzi, Xiao Hua ad XiuXiu, Wu Xie's parents and Wu Erbai there, he still kept an eye on him, bc crowds are a no-no for him.
All in all you know Xiaoge, he doesn't trust anyone, besides three people and it's a bit sad thing, but if someone else is there or they're not in the safe place, he's unable to relax due to his mind state. So I just think that in most times he feels like can’t afford to get dizzy.
So yeah, during shananigans no, bc dangerous. During large parties also no, bc he watches his drunk husband, thats all true.
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That’s why I think this scene is hundred times sweeter. I don’t think he brought non-alcoholic beer lololol. That means he’s home, he feels safe, Wu Xie will sleep next to him in normal bed and he can just relax for the first time in a while.
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And that's truly the 8th wonder of the world that he feels that way with them :)
P.S. 😂 I mean, he's also not opposed to nicotine in stressful situations. Like he doesn’t smoke, but he did chew on tobacco, like when Wu Xie was smoking and contemplating "how easy it is to die" after A Ning’s death.
And ofc the only time Xiaoge actually lit up a cigarette and smoked, which shocked Wu Xie to the core was during the night before the goodbye. I bet he wished he could've gotten drunk in that moment too. But hell we all get it, we also wished we read this part with a bottle of vodka lmao T_T
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