#and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified

[dishsaop]

does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians

[olderthannetfic]

Until I read the comments on that one post I had no idea the Bechdel Test was a joke and wasn't supposed to be a serious measuring stick by which you gauged if something was feminist or not. Everywhere I'd ever heard it brought up, it was brought up as a very serious thing, and it was a failure of media if it didn't pass it. I remember the debate about Mako Mori from Pacific Rim and if she was a character you were "allowed" to like as a progressive person despite the fact that Pacific Rim doesn't pass the Bechdel Test, the discourse, the discussion of if the director was sexist for not writing in another woman for her to chat with about non-men related stuff, the camp of people trying to insist that having a fully realized character arc and being as developed as any of the male leads = good writing even if she doesn't talk to another girl...

And I've also had the remark about my writing not passing the test, just not to my face. I searched my fanfic's name once, curious to see if anyone was discussing it outside of tumblr and AO3, and found a Tiktok complaining about it not passing the Bechdel Test. The top comment was "motherfucker YOU don't pass the test but we still watch your ass". I cackled and moved on, but neither the commenter, poster, nor I had any awareness this wasn't Feminist Media Critique 101 theory and was, in fact, a goof.

Right now there's a segment of fandom debating if Blue Eye Samurai is feminist since when Mizu and Akemi talk, they do bring up men, since, y'know. Women aren't considered people with rights in their era in Japan and thus it's something they mention instead of only talking about being cool girlboss badasses who never bring up gender. If something doesn't pass the Bechdel Test, a smug segment of the internet high-fives itself and congratulates one another on being More Feminist Than Thou.

They then get really angry if you disagree, even though by this metric, Sleeping Beauty (the original animated one, where Aurora has only 16 lines of dialogue) is more feminist than Blue Eye Samurai.

--

*DYING*

Okay, so, nonnie....

Dykes to Watch Out For (1983-2008) was a long-running comic and major piece of lesbian media. I grew up buying compiled volumes at the bookstore. To be honest, that kind of 90s-ish lesbian culture isn't really my scene despite me being bi, but it was very nice to have this slice of life-y somewhat realistic, occasionally somewhat parody, look at the queer communities around me. It's up there with Tales of the City for me in terms of being a window into a particular culture and time and place.

If anybody is interested in queer history, in addition to looking up factual info, I think a read of the complete Dykes would give a really good overview of how people were thinking about things and what issues came up a lot. You'll see things like Barnes & Noble increasingly putting feminist bookstores out of business in the 90s, attitudes towards porn in lesbian circles—all kinds of cultural issues of the day.

I drifted away as I got later in my teens and found more genre fiction I cared about, but at one point, this comic was a very welcome antidote to the glurgey coming out stories that made up a lot of the more realistic media.

Anyway, here's the comic itself, reproduced in its entirety because I think it's important to actually understand the context.

This is from 1985, so the era of Rambo, Conan, and Death Wish, each of which you can see being made fun of here. It's based on Bechdel's friend Liz Wallace's actual rule for seeing movies.

That's it. That's the origin of this whole stupid test.

"LOL, fuck 80s action movies". That's it. That's the joke.

The fact that blockbusters still routinely fail to pass in the 2020s is shameful, but that was never the point of the strip.

[willalove75]

stop simping over women and pay attention to your husband. You clearly made your choice to be with a man and have his child rather than choose a woman. You bisexual women don’t get to exist in lesbian spaces when you lean towards men. Unless your husband lets to you step out on your marriage or lets you have delusional thoughts that any lesbian would want a woman knocked up by a man. You bisexual women who lean more towards men or are with men have no right to be in sapphic or lesbian spaces. And lady d is a lesbian so as if she would be with someone who let a man touch them let alone knock them up.

Oh, I'm sorry, did my husband tell you that I'm not giving him enough attention? Didn't think so.

Yes, I made a choice to be with him, because I fell in love with him. Because he's my best friend and my biggest supporter in everything I do (yes, he even supports my writing and fics and he tells me often how proud he is of me). I did not chose him because he's a man. Truthfully, his gender had absolutely nothing to do with why I married him. I just happened to fall in love with and marry a man, but that does NOT make me any less of a bisexual woman.

"You bisexual women..." and people question whether or not bi-erasure is a thing, meanwhile, this entire ask is such a great example of just that😒

"delusional thoughts that any lesbian would want a woman knocked up by a man." is truly offensive to not only every bi woman who has been with a man, but any woman who has. What about the lesbians that got pregnant by men?? Because this may come as a shock to you, but it does happen. It may not happen a lot or often, but it does. Does that mean that those women are "tainted" or "ruined" also??? No it fucking doesn't, you idiot.

It really makes me laugh when people try and use a fictional character to make a real life argument. You want to know why? BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT FUCKING REAL!!! So honestly, you have absolutely no idea if that's true or not because she's a fake fucking character from a video game. Are you also this upset at the fic writers who make her trans??? Or what about fic writers that make Alcina's partner trans??? Or are you just that much of biphobic person and this is the hill you're choosing to die on?? Either way, you're an actual bigot.

This post just SCREAMS biphobia and bi-erasure and it's fucking gross. You are so very obviously projecting your own issues and insecurities in this and honestly I would be embarrassed if I were you. Because not a single thing you said is true AT ALL or holds any merit.

Bisexual women who lean towards men or who are with men ABSOLUTELY do belong in those spaces. Just because a bisexual woman is married/with a man or leans towards men does not discredit or change their sexuality. No bi person automatically becomes straight if they date/marry the opposite gender or become gay/lesbian if they date/marry the same gender. It's called BIsexual. More than one gender. You do not get to invalidate every bi person with this shitty (and inherently wrong) opinion.

I know you wrote this trying to get a rise out of me, and congratulations because you succeeded. But I also know that people like you leave messages like this because they feel so broken and hurt and shitty that they want others to feel like that too. Unfortunately for you, I grew up in the era that birthed anonymous hate messages so you'll have to try harder next time. Not only that, but I am proud and confident in who I am and no pathetic anonymous (especially anonymous, you pussy) message is going to shake me.

I am a proud bisexual woman. I am proud to be married to my husband. I am proud that I will soon be the mother of a little boy who I will raise to be a much better person than you'll ever be. I am proud of what I've written and no, I will not stop.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Conformity is Anywhere

TW: SA (I didn't let that fucker get too far as the bartender took out the trash), biphobia, bisexual angst

A/N: The bar is completely fictional. It just sounds so cool to me. Also, there's a happy ending!

Summary: Eddie struggles with the fact that conformity can belong to any group. Does he belong anywhere?

Eddie Munson was a virgin. That was a fact that was never going to change. He knew it. He had been to Indie a couple of times to meet both men and women. His luck was always rotten. It would start off great with guys, at first, until he told them he was bisexual. He would get a few of people saying things that actually hurt a lot.

"Oh, honey, that's not a thing."

"You're just confused."

"You're clearly trying to experiment. I've been in that situation. I do not want to do that again."

"You're clearly gay."

The last part confused him, more than hurt him because the guy had given him a once over. He dressed gay? How in the fuck is a bisexual supposed to dress? Maybe it was the hanky in his back pocket. He hadn't even known about the hanky code, and he did it because James Hetfield wore a hanky. Also, why the fuck can't bisexuals use the hanky code? Eddie had decided not to go back for a while because it really sucked that even the community you're supposed to feel safe with doesn't even like who you are. He had long since pushed the bar to the back of his mind, especially after everything during spring break.

He was a free man, no longer wanted for murder. Though the townsfolk wouldn't do anything to get arrested for, that didn't stop them from giving him glares, wishing he was dead or shielding their children from him. It was also difficult to buy anything in town as they did have the right to refuse service, so Eddie depended on his friends buying him things. He hated it. He never felt more like a mooch.

He didn't think about the bar at all until Robin and Steve came out to him. He had been happier to hear that he wasn't alone in being queer especially knowing that he and Steve were the same. Part of it was also because he had a crush on the guy, but it wasn't the main reason. He had yet to meet another bisexual. It was thrilling, and he didn't want to lose that. He was sure he was never going to tell Steve about his crush. Just because they're both bisexual and Eddie likes him doesn't mean that Steve should or would like him back.

"I know of someone who wants to go to a gay bar," Robin had said to Eddie and Steve, wiggling her eyebrows at Steve. "They heard there's a good one in Indie that used to be a bookstore."

"It's still technically also a bookstore. They still sell books. How'd they hear about it?" Eddie asked, raising an eyebrow at Steve as he had assumed that's who she was talking about.

"From their cousin's friend's older brother's roommate," Robin said. "Did I get that right? Yes, yes, I did."

"Have you been there, Eddie?" Steve asked.

"A few times," Eddie shrugged, looking into his drink. "Struck out every time."

"Well, I mean, it wouldn't be just to hook up. It would be nice to know that there were more people like us," Steve said with a shrug.

"Don't get your hopes up there, Stevie," Eddie scoffed.

"What do you mean?" Steve asked.

"I mean, there are gays and lesbians, of course, but I only went there a few times, and I hadn't met another until I started getting to know you, Steve. I mean, there could have been some there, but I didn't talk to everyone, and I didn't stay long enough to find out," Eddie said. "I did what do best, I ran away from a difficult situation."

"You make it sound like they're not very inclusive of bisexuals," Robin said with a raised eyebrow.

"The ones I met weren't, but maybe we just need to meet the right people, so let's give it another try, shall we?" Eddie asked, with a smile on his face.

"That's the spirit. After all, there are assholes in every group, right?" Robin said. "We just have to dig to get to the gooey center."

"Ew, Robin."

The next weekend came quickly. Eddie pulled up to Steve’s house, where everyone would be meeting, to find a redhead waiting with them. Eddie jumped out to greet them.

"Who's this then?" Eddie asked with a grin.

"Eddie, this is Vickie Fisher. . .she's my girlfriend," Robin said with a smile.

"So, you're definitely not going there to hook up," Eddie said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"No, definitely not," Vickie said. "Um, Robin said that it's okay that it's okay if I tell you that I'm bisexual."

Eddie hollered and clapped his hands.

"May I hug you and spin you around? I'm sorry, I don't get to meet many bisexuals," Eddie said.

"Okay," Vickie said, laughing.

Eddie grinned as he hugged her, picked her up, and spun her around. Vickie giggled. He set her gently on the ground.

"I'm sorry if you think I'm too weird now," Eddie said.

"Please, I like weird," Vickie said, scoffing and burying her nose into Robin's neck. "Obviously."

Eddie cooed at them while Robin rolled her eyes, smiling.

"Well, at least, I'm not obsessed with Scooby-Doo," Robin said affectionately while Eddie gasped.

"You too, Gingersnap?" Eddie asked, clutching his chest and Vickie giggled.

"That's what my dad calls me, and yes, I'm totally obsessed with Scooby-Doo," Vickie said.

"Man, it must be a bisexual thing because Steve’s obsessed with it too," Robin said. "He thinks that Fred and Shaggy are bisexual. Also, they've secretly hooked up."

"It's not obsession. I just think that it's a very real possibility," Steve said.

"Yes!" Eddie said, shaking Steve’s shoulders. "Shaggy has definitely gotten high with Fred and taken him in the back of the Mystery Machine."

Eddie was rubbing Steve’s shoulders while Steve’s cheeks reddened. Eddie clapped his hands together, rubbing them, while Vickie and Robin shared a look, giggling.

"What?"

"You know, it's a children cartoon," Robin said. "It's for children."

"Don't worry, guys, I'll turn her to the dark side," Vickie said. "I can definitely convince her that Velma's a lesbian."

"Hey, what's in that container?" Eddie asked, finally noticing what was in Vickie's hand.

"Oh, I made gingersnaps for the ride up there," she replied with a giggle, and Eddie laughed.

Eddie had forgotten how cozy it was inside the bar, how comfortable it felt. There was still room to dance on the lower floor, and on the upper floor were shelves lined with books. Sofas also lined the upper floors. On the lower floor, there was a bar in the very back, and Eddie grinned when he saw his favorite bartender. He had been the one who had been witness to his many failures. Though Eddie hadn't been back in a few months, he made sure to call Teddy every once in a while. Yes, his name was Teddy. He would jokingly call him his twin due to the fact that Teddy was quite a bit taller than him with the prettiest blue eyes of anyone he had ever seen. He laughed when Teddy jumped over the bar to wrap Eddie in a hug. There was a mirror behind the bar, and Eddie could have sworn that he saw Steve scowling at Teddy, his arms crossed. Eddie shook his head and pulled away from Teddy, laughing.

After Eddie caught up with Teddy, he turned around to find that everyone had split up. Robin and Vickie had gone upstairs to browse the bookshelves. Meanwhile, Steve was flirting with a guy near the dance floor. Eddie cursed his own stupidity. Of course, Steve was going to find someone here. Eddie sighed and ordered himself a drink, plopping down at the bar.

"A pretty boy like yourself shouldn't look so sad. It should be illegal," a voice from beside him said.

Eddie looked over and saw a blond guy leaning against the bar next to him. He was pretty with golden hazel eyes, and freckles spread across the bridge of his nose. He had a square jaw like Steve’s but his smile reminded him of Chrissy. His hair was longer than Steve’s, just barely, though. There was something in his eye, though, that made him weary.

"Me? Pretty boy?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, you. My name's Roger," the handsome man said. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"Are you blind?" Eddie asked.

"No."

"Then you can clearly see that I have a drink," Eddie said and sighed. "But you're welcome to sit down and chat if that's what you're looking for."

"A chance to chat with a handsome man," Roger purred. "What else would I be looking for?"

"What's your angle here, Roger? If that is, in fact, your real name," he replied.

"I know who you are," Roger whispered eagerly.

"Okay. Here we go," he said, rubbing his face and taking a swig of his beer.

"No, you didn't deserve to be hunted down like that, Eddie," Roger said. "You were the obvious choice. Everyone else was too stupid to think about anything else."

"You really believe that," Eddie stated.

"Of course," Roger said with a grin.

There was something that didn't quite meet Roger's eyes when he smiled, but maybe it was the beer talking or the fact that Eddie was frustrated that the one he wanted to be sitting here beside him wasn't here. Maybe Eddie was just trying to look for the bad in people like the way people looked for in him. He relaxed and started to converse with Roger. A couple more beers in, and Eddie couldn't help but talk about Chrissy. How pretty she looked when she smiled and how he wished he could have seen her live to be happy even if it wasn't with him. Even if it wasn't with him, he would have given anything for her to be happy. He talked with Roger about how special she was.

"Maybe she was the exception," Roger said.

"What?" Eddie asked, startled.

"I said maybe she was the exception to your rule, Eddie," Roger said coyly. "Maybe I could fuck it out of you. The confusion. Is that what you did first? Did you fuck them first? I want to be next, Eddie. Take me next, Eddie. Please, Eddie."

The realization nearly sobered him up. Roger didn't think he was innocent. He wanted to be Eddie's next victim. Roger pressed his hand against the inside of Eddie's thigh. He jumped back, spilling his beer. He could feel the bile rising to his throat. Eddie jumped off the stool, knocked it to the ground, and ran from Roger. He brushed past Steve, Vickie, and Robin as he ran out the front door. He ran into the alley and began puking his guts out. Suddenly, he felt a hand pressed to his back, and he reacted. He turned around, grabbed the person, and slammed them against the wall.

"Well, this is familiar," Steve said sarcastically and then softened his voice. "Eddie, are you okay?"

Eddie started sobbing and collapsed against Steve, crying into his neck. They ended up both collapsing to the ground with Eddie straddling Steve’s knees. Steve wrapped his arms around him and held onto him tightly. Once Eddie's sobs subsided a little bit, Steve pulled back, cupping Eddie's face. He leaned his forehead against Eddie's.

"What happened?"

Eddie whimpered and told him about Roger.

"I don't want to disappear, Steve. I don't want who I am to disappear. I know who I am. I'm not a monster, Steve. I'm not a freak. Just because they can't understand. . .I know who am I, Steve. I know, Steve, and they can't. . .I won't let them take that away from me. Hawkins tried to make me disappear, tried to swallow me up, and tried to make me conform to their ideals of what a good man should be, but I'm a good man, aren't I? I know I've made mistakes, but I don't think I've ever intentionally tried to hurt someone. I would never do to Chrissy. . .what that bastard did to her. I know what I am, Steve, and I know what I want. Why does that make me a bad person? I won't let them take that away from me because they can't understand it, I won't!" Eddie sobbed and yelled, his fists clutching Steve’s shirt. "And they can't fuck it out of me either. I'm not a monster like him."

"I won't let them take it away from you either. You're not a monster. And Eddie, Roger is a psychopath who just so happens to be queer. Being bisexual isn't wrong. Just like being gay or being a lesbian isn't either. You and I are bisexual. No one is going to erase us. No one," Steve promised, his hands trembling and his voice shaking. "This is probably a bad time, but . . . Eddie, I love you."

"I love you too, Steve," Eddie said, sniffling. "You know, I don't think there's a bad time to tell someone you love them."

"You know that I mean, like, romantically, right?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, I got that. Me too," Eddie said.

"Is it alright if I kiss you?"

"Is it alright if I say that I want to wait until my mouth no longer tastes like tears and vomit?"

"Yeah, come on, we should get to the hotel," Steve said and picked him up.

"Weee!" Eddie exclaimed, and Steve promptly dropped him on his feet as they stood up.

Steve grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the alleyway. Robin and Vickie were at the very end. Their eyes were filled with tears.

"We tried to get far away, but your voice carried and we -," Robin began.

"You tried not to listen?" Eddie asked. "Don't worry yourself, Buckley."

"Eddie? Can I give you a hug?" Vickie asked.

"Bring it in, Gingersnap," Eddie said.

Vickie threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Eddie grabbed Steve and pulled him into the hug, causing Vickie to laugh. She made grabby hands at Robin.

"This feels more like a bisexual group hug to me," Robin said cheekily.

"You're supporting your bisexual girlfriend by joining in," Vickie said.

"Fair point," Robin said as she threw herself at them.

They stayed like that for a while, surrounding Eddie in a group hug. It was nice, and Eddie felt this wave of affection for this little group. He remembered when he first moved here to live with Wayne, and for the longest time, he didn't think he would ever make friends until he met Gareth, and soon, the others started to fall into place. He hadn't felt like he had belonged until he met them, especially when they created the band. The puzzles continued to fall into place when he created Hellfire, where more pieces were added when Dustin and the others joined. For a brief, shining moment, he thought he found another piece in Chrissy, but it had been lost as soon as it had been found. Right here, right now, he felt like all the pieces had come together. Right in the middle, though, were empty places for his mother and Chrissy. . .never to be refilled. He was as whole as he could be, and he was happy.

"Let's take a picture," Vicki squealed as she pulled out a Polaroid camera from her bag. "Robin, baby, you have pretty long arms."

"You want to commemorate me getting assaulted by a potential serial killer?" Eddie asked. "Speaking of that, what happened with that?"

"Oh, Teddy said he would take care of it," Steve said. "Uh, is bartending his only job?"

"Nope."

"Are you going to tell me what his other job is?" Steve asked.

"Nope!" Eddie exclaimed and paused, rolling his eyes. "Only because I don't know what it is and I'm too afraid to ask. Anywho, Gingersnap, you wanted to remember this moment?"

"I wanted us to remember the fact that you find kinship with all of us tonight, and honestly, so did I. I want us to remember this moment because it's where we all realized that we don't have to conform to anyone's definition of who they think we are," Vickie said. "Whether we're bisexual, gay, or lesbian or anything else that we want to be in this world that I can't think of yet."

"I love you guys," Eddie said fondly. "Robin, Vickie, I'm sorry, but it's strictly platonic."

Robin rolled her eyes, raised the camera, and stuck out her tongue. Vickie peered around, hand on one of Robin's hips. Eddie grinned lovingly at Steve and rested his head on Steve’s shoulder. Robin took the picture.

[princessefemmelesbian]

Do any other femme lesbians ever feel excluded or distanced from femininity compared to straight/bisexual women because so much of it is revolved around liking boys?

Because I sure do and I don't think it's talked about enough. Like whenever I see something talking about a girl or woman or fictional female character being feminine/girly(or just the concept of being feminine in general) and they list liking boys or being obsessed with boys as an example of their "girliness", yk the posts, like when they say something like "just because a girl likes pink and dresses and makeup and jewelry and BOYS doesn't mean she's weak!" it's like "yk I would agree with you because I'm tired of being told that my girliness makes me weak but then you had to go and exclude every feminine lesbian just like that" and I immediately tune out.

At this point I won't be liking or reblogging any post, no matter how well-intentioned, that goes "she's such a girly girl who likes fashion and shopping and BOYS/is totally boy-crazy/obsessed with her favorite boy band" because news flash you can do all of that shit without giving a shit about boys. I sure don't. Even if the character is like that it's like "okay but liking boys isn't part of what makes her feminine, I need y'all to realize that". I think stuff like this adds to why femme/feminine lesbians are never believed or taken seriously because of our appearances/presentations/interests, people literally see femininity as conformance and adhering to the cisheteropatriarchy and it shows here, the fact that femininity is associated with liking boys so much(which is quite ironic don't you think???), as if EVERYTHING WE DO IS FOR BOYS, is that deeply entrenched and idk it's fucking sad and maddening as all hell. Like look at me and fucking tell me...do you really think that I dress like this for boys? Think again.

And yet in the goddamn 21st century I still fucking see people say that a girl/woman can't be a lesbian because she likes feminine things, or that femme lesbians "look just like straight girls, you'd never know they were gay teehee" as if we want men to think they have a chance with us, as if our identity is connected with men and attraction to them in any way when this is the exact OPPOSITE of what we want and are(and besides is there even a way to "look" like you like men anyway? losers). This tight association with femininity/liking boys inherently excludes femme lesbians because we don't fit the mold. That's why I won't stand for anyone saying this shit about us because our identities are inherently revolutionary and contrary to the norm. Please just don't forget that femme lesbians exist when you make your "girly girl positivity" posts or whatever. Or act like all feminine girls are automatically attracted to men or that boys are someway somehow an inherent part of femininity, it's an incredibly limited and inaccurate depiction.

[frecklystars]

i think im a lesbian and thats been making me cry in the middle of the night every night for the last umm i dont know. week. couple of weeks maybe. i dont want to be a lesbian bc ive been bi for so long and i dont want another sexuality crisis. but at the same time the idea of being with a man makes me feel so fucking repulsed and i dont know if thats bc ive just had multiple experiences of a male friend making inappropriate comments toward me when i used to trust him OR if its bc i am genuinely realizing i have never. never. never. never. never had strong feelings for a man the way i do with a woman. like i saw a cute customer today who was a guy but i wouldnt date him. i thought he was cute but i wouldnt do anything about it, like if he asked me out i'd feel uncomfortable. but then i saw a blonde woman walk in and i thought to myself, god she's gorgeous and if she asked me out right now i'd say yes when and where!!

i only feel "i'd kiss him i'd date him i'd hold his hand" with fictional male characters and male celebrities. not real/obtainable people. would i still feel that way if they were physically in front of me? i think i would, i think if ken were in front of me calling me sweet girl i'd never feel repulsed. i think if a guy who looked and acted exactly like ryan gosling was in front of me asking me out i'd consider it maybe? but i know i feel genuine love for my F/Os. my feelings for them are 100% real and pure. i hear that could possibly be an aromantic thing, to be genuinely attracted to your F/Os but not real people. but i feel genuinely attracted to real women!! sometimes!! half the time!!! not ALL the time and i don't know if i'd be willing to be in a relationship bc i'm so detached to the idea of a relationship but like... the attraction is absolutely there to some degree and it seems to be that way strongly for women

and then i thought, ok well, bisexual means being attracted to two or more genders, right? and i'm attracted to (probably) anyone who isn't a man, though my strongest feelings are for women. but then someone else told me that the lesbian label would still include people who aren't strictly women, so?? like?? i'm just confused i was hoping lesbian meant "just women" so then i can tell myself "oh i cant be a lesbian then because i've felt attraction to nonbinary/genderfluid ppl as well who don't identify as women at all" but if the lesbian label includes that, then uh, maybe i'm? a lesbian?

but god i have felt so uncomfortable around a man who's been making me feel unsafe lately, and it's just making me wake up and realize i've never been genuinely wholeheartedly attracted to men, period. not once. i've had small fleeting little crushes but if that crush asked me out i'd say No Get The Fuck Away From Me. there was actually an instance where i had a small "crush"(?) on a male coworker when i was 18 years old for a few weeks, but then he asked me out, and i felt so disgusted and uncomfortable that i went to my car and cried. and then i had a crush on a nonbinary person years later and that felt. so. fucking good. that felt so whole and so real to me. and then i had a crush on a woman years after that and i would lie awake at night with the most pure beautiful feeling in my chest. and when they asked me out i didn't feel grossed out at all, i felt wonderful, i felt amazing, i was shaking because i was so happy

but i have never ever ever once felt that way with a man. and it makes me sad bc i spent so long calling myself bisexual but i dont think that fits me anymore and i dont think some of my family members would really love me anymore if i came out as a lesbian and i just. dont want to think about it too hard but its all i can think about. i dont want to label myself right now but i dont feel good if i dont have a label. like, i can stick with bisexual just for the sake of a label making me feel comfortable but i dont feel bisexual if that HAS to include men. does bisexual HAVE to include men, if youre a cis woman identifying as bi??? can me being bisexual be attraction ANYONE EXCEPT a man??? with just a very very very very strong preference for women????

i just wish my F/Os were real, i would just be with them and forget labels entirely and just get tf outta here. i know if my male fictional others were to come to life, it wouldnt repulse me. i've asked other lesbians "if YOUR male F/O was real and in front of you with a bouquet of flowers asking you out, would you date him" they have all said "no not at all, bc he isn't a woman. i am only attracted to him fictionally but if he were real i'd feel nothing". so like. i dunno. because if ken or plankton were real i'd feel everything.

im so sick of being here im so sick of men making inappropriate comments about my body when theyre supposed to be ppl that i trust and im so sick of wanting a girlfriend but not wanting a relationship, yearning for women but not wanting anything to do with actually dating somebody. exhausting. all of this is exhausting. am i aro am i a lesbian can i be bisexual i dont feel bisexual anymore i'm dragging that label's dead weight on my shoulders and i want to replace it i WANT a label but i dont know what my label is and im tired. i dont think my family members would accept me being a lesbian and that hurts. i tried telling my dad yesterday and he was like "no you don't know what you are, you don't have enough experience to know if you like men or not. i think you'll marry a man one day" no the idea of marriage repulses me too actually. im indifferent to sex, i dont want to get married, i dont want a relationship. but god i want a woman in my life who i can kiss and come home to and hold and ask her about her day and slow dance with in the living room. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. can barbie be real i just want to date barbie. she's human isn't she. c'mon barbie where are you girl you gotta come and rollerblade to my place so we can forget everything and be aromantic lesbians together

[old-school-butch]

here is my second anon, on same-sex attraction and the fuckery i've experienced around it in the trans community. i wonder if any ex-TRAs and TIFs will recognize this, or if it's only me who managed such a convoluted mental somersault? also, please forgive me for venting in your inbox, i have no better place. but alas.

i thought myself a gay man for 10-ish years. and yet i had... very clear sexual attraction towards women, clear enough that i've genderswapped 80% of my fictional male crushes so they would have breasts and vaginas, while still considering them "men" because i kept their he/him pronouns. seeing females as men allowed me to tell myself i was only attracted to males. i think a mix of biphobia and lesbophobia, stirred into gender-think. i was only allowed to love women if they were actually "men". because it was ok to love men.

i had crushes on girls as a teen and i'd always feel gross and predatory when i shared the locker rooms with them. i remember so badly wanting to sneak looks at my crushes but doing all i could not to. bc i "knew" that it was wrong. however i never developed into accepting this same-sex attraction as normal, because i got swept up in genderism, and became a "man" and... all my attraction towards women suddenly felt EVEN MORE predatory and violating. i swept it away as male gaze, objectification, leering, still predatory. etcetera etcetera. genuinely did all i could to suppress/explain away my obsession with female bodies. i centered my male attraction, and as the trans movement is very male-centered to begin with it was only encouraged. people (straight females) calling themselves f*gs left and right. every time i started thinking about breasts (i'm boob obsessed for real) or having sex with women i pushed it down as male depravity. i also thought me wanting to fuck women had been conditioned into me by advertising. like, yes, of course everyone wants to have sex with women bc they are trained by society to want this :)) logical. this totally happens to all female people. oh you love the smell of pussy? advertising taught you this. -_-

obviously as a TIF, i felt somehow that male identity and pronouns was a prerequisite to be fully human/be the way i was inside. misogynistic as fuck. it seems i felt this for other women, too. you told me i'd feel the weight of the harm i'd done along the way, when i sent the first anon; this is a heavy one. having viewed women and myself this way for so long. and having written off my same-sex attraction (i salivate when i see bare chested women lol) because, well, i'm a "man" and i violate them with my eyes.

the power dynamic between TIFs is funny/tragic too. ssa ones being treated as if they're straight males and culpable for everything those do. osa ones being the ones with more social capital. bisexual ones centering males bc well, the whole movement shits on women and you don't wanna be "straight" or bi ending up in a "straight" relationship. a lesbian TIF just enters a world in which her attraction (which she's likely felt predatory for her whole life already) is REINFORCED as bad. because now she's a straight man. and when a real heterosexual male is not accessible to shit on, she will be the target of the "gay" ones. god, the trans community is such a complicated type of homophobia...

i feel so good now to be out of it. i've been butch my whole life, i had a buzzcut since i was 14, up until my 20s. tomboyish always. now i have a long braid, and i considered cutting it off when i peaked, but i can't bring myself to do it. i miss my breasts very much and my braid is a body part as well, one that i can still hold on to. i can't let it go. it means something to me, i suppose, symbolically. but i don't feel like i'm a man anymore, and my attraction towards women is not to blame for their oppression. it is so liberating. i no longer feel like i'm degrading or harming women by being attracted to them. and most of my friends who dropped me were osa TIFs, binary and nonbinary... they have a lot to lose if they should give up that identity. they'd get booted out the "queer" community, lose the oppression they built their identity on. it's weird looking back at them. ah, i ramble so much, but thank you, even if you don't end up posting this, for having a space open here to go to. it feels so valuable, and it helps to read others anons.

Oh, I've definitely read wilder somersaults. It's amazing how confusing it is when reality is upside down. A lesbian becomes a gay man, or a straight man depending on the identity of the women she's attracted to. All nonsense, but I do wonder if it allows people to contemplate relationships they had rejected previously. Like, if you're a straight man who decides he's a lesbian but then meets another TIM then you're supposed to also include him, or women might have idealized views that relationships with men might not be so bad if you can escape 'being the girl'. Women, according to the stats, are the most likely to twist ourselves into these pretzels, of course, female socialization at work. So, we must forgive ourselves and each other for our roles in all this.

I'm glad things are working out well for you. There are times when I feel isolated being gender critical, but then I remember the headache-inducing mental repression I had to endure to make myself believe all this and I feel much more free and real.

[deargodhelpmeaaa]

Duckman review

If you are, at all, familiar with my infamous post “ranking my most prominent fictional crushes out of ten” then you will recall that among the horrible men I listed there was a stupid, bespectacled yellow duck named Eric Duckman. So what the heck even is an Eric Duckman anyway? You probably are unfamiliar with him unless you’ve seen those random clips from his show that had a brief heyday on YouTube. He’s a character from this 90’s cartoon (if the art didn’t give that away) that was actually very adult oriented. At the time, it was pretty unheard of to have an adult cartoon out that was dirtier than the simpsons.

Today, however, I’d argue that most kids shows are on par with the simpsons in terms of their maturity. The simpsons is no longer the edgy show that it used to be. It’s very tame by today’s standards, and duckman was sort of one of the first cartoon series to outdo it in terms of edge.

sooo….. was it any good?

Online, I have seen almost nothing but people singing praises for the show, a couple critics here and there and I am, as much as I love the show… one of those critics.

The show reminds me a lot of the Amazing World of Gumball. I’ve seen people compare it to Bojack Horseman and it’s… really not. The characters in Duckman are pretty static and none of them are really that complex. It just seems that way since this show has a main character who is a horrible person with some redeeming qualities and a backstory to sort of but not completely justify his behavior.

Gumball is a much better source of comparison because the shows are both very meta, at times obnoxiously and pointlessly so, but at others it is actually quite charming. The humor in both is pretty absurdist and shockingly inappropriate at times. Both are vaguely satirical at times as well, duckman a bit more overt with its satire than gumball.

I mention earlier that I like the main character quite a lot. He’s my favorite archetype: egotistical, socially incompetent, treated like utter garbage by the narrative. He’s handled okay, sometimes really poorly; it varies per episode. In some the show is like “wow this guy sucks” and nothing else; in others we see some of the depths of his character, the best of this being the episode “About Face” which is a surprisingly nuanced narrative for this show? We sometimes see his insecurities, his desire to do better for his family, his worries about seeing other women after the recent passing of his wife. Most of this is in season 1. It’s pretty good.

What I like about it is that the show never pretends like he’s this great person or anything. It knows what he is and it punishes him for his bad behavior. It does the same for the other characters who are being kind of assholes as well. The show makes an attempt to show how these other characters are right about something’s but in their behavior may be doing something wrong, like Bernice’s bullying of duckman or the teddy bears constantly preaching at him, and duckmans own behavior itself is also shown to be pretty wrong albeit humorous at times. Cornfed however is based and awesome B) I can’t remember right now what his problem was but the show made his relationship to duckman pretty interesting.

Also for some reason I think people ship duckman with him I mean Duckman did offer to have sex with him one time so I see it.

My problem with the show starts with just the characters being kind of flat. Like I said before, people were singing praises for this thing, calling it 90s Bojack Horseman. Sure, duckman has some depth, but the others…. Eh…. I was really hoping to see some depth from duckmans sister in law who he lives with, Bernice (I mean of course I fucking was look at the website I’m on) but she really never went past this bitchy stuck up feminist stereotype who wanted to find herself a husband (the writers probably made her like men to avoid making her an offensively stereotypical lesbian, though it seems she might be bisexual anyway lol) and seems to maybe kind of care about Duckman deep down.

Duckman himself as I’ve said before is a pretty good character especially by the shows standards, but in some episodes he is just annoying and nothing else. And I mean really annoying.

Duckmans kids are just eh to be honest. Like they do their job and his relationship to Ajax is kind of interesting, but none of these characters are especially funny or interesting nor do they go that far beyond their initial premises, giving the show pretty little to do with them in the long run. Ok I lied Ajax is kind of funny sometimes.

What I like about the family aspect of the show is that it isn’t a completely abusive family, with humor being derived from the characters treating eachother like shit all the time. Duckman is an asshole, Bernice is an asshole, the twins are kind of jerks, Ajax is literally just Chris griffin. It’d be easy to just make them abusive and nothing else but the show actually tries to make them sort of love eachother at the end of the day. Duckman still cares about his kids, of course he does. Bernice does too and she wants her nephews to have a better influence than their dad, who sucks. The twins don’t respect him but resemble him in some ways they don’t want to admit. It’s too bad they don’t explore this more!!!

I’m just skipping past the dog that does nothing and the grandma who is in a coma like state and umm communicates exclusively through farts look guys it’s a fucking 90s cartoon I told you it’s more like gumball than it is like bojack horseman and I’m not your mom im not as sophisticated as I look!!!!!

The female love interests for duckman vary in quality. Some of them are kind of interesting even if we only see them through the lens of their relationship to duckman, sometimes their existences are pretty funny, but especially in the later seasons they’re just kind of stupid.

The stuff with Duckman and his dead wife is kind of interesting, especially since if I remember correctly, it was her idea that if she died, duckman would instead live with her sister Bernice since she knew he wouldn’t be able to raise their kids on his own. I wish the show explored his dependency on her more, and really just… her in general. I think it’s sort of implied that his dependency on her was in some ways a kind of bad thing since like after her death, he becomes a wreck, but he still always loves her. I really appreciate Everett peck (god rest his soul) for making the executive decision to kill her off as she was still alive in the pilot which made duckman look like more of an asshole for wanting to see other women, and the concept of her being too focused on other things rather than him also wasn’t very compelling and kind of makes him look worse if that’s what we’re supposed to sympathize with. Changing it absolutely was the way to go.

we see some glimpses of duckmans parents. Again he has a pretty interesting relationship to them. He accidentally killed his own father, who was very hard on him, and his mother, much like him, was a hedonist, especially after the death of his father. She was neglectful much like his father was.

I’m not dissing my boy cornfed, who is duckmans detective partner (not in a gay way but in a detective way. Probably in a gay way too tho idk) He’s cool. I do wish they did more with him though, since it’d be interesting to explore his own flaws despite him foiling the most flawed man on the planet. Literally my only complaint.

The last character to talk about is king chicken. He’s voiced by Tim curry, and is hyped up to be sort of this major villain for the show. The premise behind his relationship is simple: duckman bullied him back in high school, and it’s revealed in the only good king chicken episode (the dinner party one. Forget the title) that duckman only did that because when king chicken there wasn’t around to bully, everyone would turn around and pick on him. Now after all these years, king chicken wants to get his revenge on duckman, as he now seems to be much more successful than he is. Theres also, for some reason, at least on duckmans end, some sexual tension between the two of them?it’s a great premise honestly, and us tumblr bitches love ourselves some good old enemies to lovers, rivalries with weird tension kissimessmitude type stuff.

But I did say there was only one good episode about this guy. Yeah…. It’s the last episode of season 3 and one of I think 2 truly good episodes in there (season 3 kind of sucks lol) which is a dialogue driven experimental episode based on who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf where we get some interesting insight on the relationship between duckman and king chicken, and sort of king chicken and Bernice (who King Chicken also has romantic tension with).

Ok so you probably noticed how I was complaining about how the characters aren’t that complex, about needing to explore depth. You may ask me: “wait isn’t this thing a comedy? It’s like gumball, you said! It doesn’t need that much depth, idiot!!!!” Errmmm yes it does actually. This isn’t because it’s a comedy but because of the type of comedy it sets out to be. Season 1 in particular wants to show us new sides of these characters (mostly duckman) in each episode. It sets the show up to be something that might deconstruct or arc him, and a good chunk of the episodes are trying to do this.

For instance season 4 has one where he meets a girl he knew back in detective school, we get one in season 3 even trying to flesh out Bernice who wants to be a mother but can’t find the right man for her.

We get one I think in season 3 where he has to hold back his veneral desires when they hire a tutor for the kids (I think?) who happens to be a woman he finds really hot.

We get one in season 4 where a sycophantic intern tries to exploit his vices and ruin his life, and he’s too gullible and desperate to notice.

These all sound like good premises but the execution is often quite janky. It doesn’t tend to go far beyond the premise and the writers often find themselves not knowing what to do, so they end up getting lazy and give up on the story.

I think the show could have been fine staying static like that, though I think after a while they would end up needing to write long term character arcs. I saw they planned to potentially write a romance between duckman and Bernice which is a strong indicator that this was what they wanted to do. That doesn’t mean that the episodes would still be good though because it would also need to be funny and entertaining on top of doing things with the characters, and the writers shouldn’t want to just give up on it like they do with so many episodes.

I honestly did enjoy some episodes that don’t try to be deep and just are stupid fun. I’ve indicated here that the show isn’t great at being deep. Season 1, some of season 2 and the Virginia Woolf episode are really the only times this show does it gracefully that I can think of off the top of my head and otherwise, the execution is rather clunky, as the show often does a poor job balancing humor with heart, with serious moments feeling quite forced and often sappy. It reminds me a lot of my earlier personal comics (and weaker current ones) in how it will switch from funny to serious, in a feeble attempt to be bojack horseman, but credit where credit is due for it coming out prior to the show I just now accused it of copying!

It is in a way quite ahead of its time. I won’t deny it. The simpsons obviously did much of what this show tried to do but better, but I will never not love the vulgar, hideous but honest, underground cartoon like feel of duckman. It over simplified things, gets a lot of things wrong and is often quite outdated (I have issues with the one flew over the cuckoos nest episode, as asylums did not look like that in the 90s) it’s a good time capsule from the 90s honestly as it is easily the most 90s thing I have ever seen.

is the show funny? I mention comedy a lot here. Uh. Kind of. It’s hit or miss. It’s either like they asked a horny version of Berdly from deltarune to write for them or it’s genuinely funny with some very interesting in between.

now the art. Yes! I love the art!!! It’s good but some of the character designs are kind of concerning to me. I think some of the really ugly and mannish women they draw are supposed to be trans and it’s not good. I get it the 90s are like that and I’m not saying ugh trans rep and whatever I just think the trans women should look as hot as duckman does when he’s wearing womens clothing. Jk but fr they don’t need to be that mannish it’s kind of dehumanizing and gross and adds nothing to the show and didn’t age well is all.

And before anyone thinks I’m doing the tumblr bit where I get mad at a lack of body diversity: no I don’t care and I think the over sexualized but kind of disgusting designs are hilarious and make a good commentary on duckmans own views towards women as well, and add greatly to the absurdist humor of the show.

All in all it looks great to me. Really ugly but that’s why it works imo and the colors are really nice. The studio behind this series is klasky csupo by the way. They made stuff like rugrats, wild thorn berries, aaaaa real monsters… I love their style and while it doesn’t show that much in my posts on here more of my personal art kind of copies it a bit.

last thing is voice acting. This show has a star studded cast. Jason Alexander, famously known as the guy who played the short balding guy from Seinfeld, actually voices the main character! And he’s great! He was definitely type casted tho lol. Tim curry I think I mentioned earlier was the voice of king chicken. We also have Gilbert gottfried, who surprisingly enough does not voice a talking bird in this show! I want to say there’s some other big names here too, like I think the guy who voiced cornfed or something. Zappa, yeah that Zappa, did the intro theme and some of the music for the show and his son voices Ajax and he’s great. I think everyone did pretty good with this show in terms of acting, it’s really just the writing that is super hit or miss here.

quick talk about the finale. I hate it lol. It’s obvious they were gonna reveal something like it’s all a dream or oh no that’s not his wife it’s an alien shapeshifter pretending to be her. They were told to do a cliff hanger ending to increase ratings. Seeing as how there have been no new episodes in like over 30 years I think it’s safe to say that it didn’t work.

long story short. The shows super hit or miss, not great at balancing humor and serious moments, with a cast of characters that never properly gets fleshed out enough besides the main character, who though rightfully treated as what he is: kind of a jackass who it seems will never amount to anything, the show still does revolve around him so many of the characters are made interesting through their relationships to him and not to each other and they themselves often aren’t interesting on their own either- which is a problem I have too in my own writing, and weirdly enough I also tend to write characters who are duckman like as well…. so it’s okay.

what stands out to me about this show is just how much it appeals to my interests. I mentioned time and again how the main character is literally my favorite type of character ever down to his appearance: which is that he’s a skinny little bastard wearing glasses. He also could be in a way described as a cross between the two characters this blog, thus far, has seemed to be dedicated to (Berdly and filthy frank, as he is basically just a pretentious gross bird guy) not to mention that i initially made this blog to post Seinfeld memes which is…. Crazy. It really just feels like something I would make and that makes sense because I can often be found kind of copying it-

I also just love 90s stuff, and I like stuff that’s super edgy, inappropriate and satirical in nature, and this show does that pretty right. It’s dynamic between a screwball duck and a straight laced pig is an obvious callback do Daffy Duck and porky pig and duckmans womanizing and status as a detective is a likely reference to Howard the duck (which I still need to read). He sort of looks like a simpsons character and much of the show pays homage to the simpsons, homer cameos in it and it references it a ton. I love the simpsons, it’s a massive influence on me as well. I see hints of underground comics influencing it but that might be just the cartoon characters being vulgar thing here.

today honestly…. I won’t lie this show is much better than 99% of adult cartoons being made today, but in a way this show is sort of the norm. I think it is kind of ahead of it’s time, I think in other ways it’s exactly of it’s time. It’s a very interesting show to me and even though I have many qualms with it and the poor writing I do really love it over all.

[justanisabelakinnie]

Fandom Lesbophobia

No but the way fandom treats lesbianism, whether canon lesbian characters or characters headcanoned as lesbians, or ships involving lesbians(whether canon or fanon) is fucking whack. 

Whenever a female character is canonically confirmed to be a lesbian, “fans” will always go the whole nine yards in trying to prove that the character is bi; they’ll always headcanon the character as bi and ship them with men. If you politely tell them that the character is a lesbian they’ll snap at you and call you biphobic or say there’s no proof of that or that “everyone can have their headcanons regardless” not when it’s actively erasing a canon sexuality being represented, ya dipshits. I can’t think of a single gay female character I’ve seen that hasn’t been called bi or even straight or had their sexuality dismissed by being shipped with men: Apple White, Tomoyo Daidouji, Robin Buckley, Amity Blight, Velma Dinkley, the list goes on and on. 

Even when the character isn’t canonically a lesbian but is headcanoned as such people seem super against it and will be super bothered by it for some reason. Like they’ll always ask you “why” you hc the character as a lesbian and say “but she could be bi!” And yeah, she could, but what’s so wrong with me seeing her as a lesbian? Why not just make your own post about the character being bi? And then they’ll go on to derail your post by talking about how much they ship the female character with a man. Why are you so offended at the possibility of a female character not being attracted to men? Why do all women have to be available to men, even in fiction? 

Imo people seem to hate lesbian headcanons the most, even compared to other headcanons. It’s as if a female character being unattracted to men completely intimidates them and/or is something they can’t comprehend, whether it’s canon or not. Just looking at the Encanto TikTok, when it comes to queer headcanons, fans on there seem to hate the lesbian Isabela one the most. And no, I’m not talking about Colombians who don’t want the message of the movie to be erased, I’m talking about people who simply don’t like the headcanon because they are homophobic/lesbophobic. Maybe it’s just me being an Isabela simp and looking at more content of Isabela and since I’m a lesbian the headcanon I tend to look at the most is Isabela being a lesbian as well(especially since I also have the headcanon myself), but I see it all the time, even more so than hatred for Mirabel being bi or Camilo being genderfluid even though the latter is possibly the most baseless. 

Like I am so sick of people getting mad at others for headcanoning Isabela as a lesbian and using Bubo as an excuse even though his character is a rough draft and not canon. And it’s funny as well because most people don’t even like Bubo. Bring him up to an Encanto fan and they’ll instantly say they dislike him. But suddenly you want him to be with Isabela because it’s still better than Isabela being a lesbian. I even saw someone’s account receive death threats, attacks, and hatred just because they headcanoned Isabela as a lesbian, and it culminated in them taking down all their Isabela lesbian content and uploading an apology video instead, and all the comments were saying “it’s okay I forgive you now that you understand” WHAT?! So you only feel bad that she received hate because she no longer has the headcanon? It’s fine for her to receive death threats as long as she does have it though because she deserves it for thinking a fictional fucking female character isn’t attracted to men. Fucking sickening. 

Don’t even get me started on how much more popular slash generally is compared to femslash. Because as we all know if a relationship doesn’t have men at its center then it’s not worth paying attention to and not to mention people will attack you for having the ship all the time as well. Even if it is canon don’t think that will stop fandom from tearing the ship apart and pairing one or both characters with boys. Alternatively very often slash pairers will only ship f/f ships to get them out of the way of their slash ship, and I’ve seen a lot of fics while looking for a femslash pair that I want that are tagged as such but only have that relationship in the background/as secondary. And the main and “foreground” ship is always an m/m ship every. single. time. This post goes into it in more detail so that I don’t have to, but the point is made that it’s so upsetting because this all directly stems from centering of men in society as well as fandom. idk it just frustrates me. And I wish this was acknowledged more. 

TLDR: I’m tired, please just respect lesbian characters more in fiction and let people have their lesbian headcanons and ships, that is all. Lesbians deserve better. 

[davekat-sucks]

Some Homestuck Fans need representation so badly in fiction. They need to police all of us so badly to get it We could have good representation in fiction! I want it too! But it’s not something Homestuck even offers. Homestuck turns every bad taboo into a strange punch line. It’s weird to make Homestuck a platform to talk about capitalism when the way their economy works is so different for real life. It’s so strange to see people talk about racism when Karkat’s world was fucked up enough to make canabalism and mandatory sex a cultural thing. Homosexuality wasn’t even a concept to Kanaya, she isn’t a lesbian even if she does have a preference towards women. (I am so tired of seeing Yuri shippers really think they are activists when they make Rose and Kanaya into something more important than it actually is. They are the people who make fun of fujos despite doing the same thing. Only most fujoshis don’t claim making male characters have sex is activism. It’s just stupid fun. WERE ALL JUST HAVING STUPID FUN!)

Homestuck is not the platform to talk about these heavy issues. This is fucked up scifi where what would have been cool for the ending is to see them recreate the world together and pick what should be saved and what parts of their culture should be thrown away. (Plus! all of humanity being killed by the empress makes Dirk and Jane’s distrust of aliens in the epilogue make sense to me, this could have been a learning tool about how racist people develop their beliefs and how to change their mind. But the epilogue writers went full labor camp with Jane. This is Legend of Korra season 4 all over again. They need to make every bad guy hitler because they don’t know anything about history outside of snippets of WW2 propaganda.)

We need to teach these people that Marx called all black people the n-word. He cheated on his wife and got the nanny pregnant. AND COMMUNISM LEAD TO A PRISON ISLAND FILLED WITH STARVING PEOPLE WHO (this is so gross so ignore if you’re squeemish) HAD TO PRACTICE CANABALISM! THE WOMEN HAD TO HAVE SEX WITH THE GAURDS TO GET FLOUR WHICH THEY MIXED WITH WATER THAT GAVE THEM DISENTARY! Marx was a fucking idiot who didn’t care about compassion and didn’t understand people. He was pathetic and seeing the Homestuck fandom suck his cock is so pathetic.

They do the same in other fandom spaces for stuff like anime, video games, comics, etc. The three listed being most talked about because of corporates that tries to push progressive activism is usually in poor quality, pandered to gain quick money, and localization becoming more of censorship that much of the original creator's writing or intention get lost or silenced. And fujoshi, at least for Western fans, don't really call themselves that. After all, it's offensive to use that label on yourself if you like BL. Because if you call yourself a fujoshi, you hypersexualized real life gay men. Because BL/yaoi in fictional works = real life gay men, when it's not the case. Using media to tie in with politics has been retarded since people started comparing Trump to Voldemort or Darth Vader. Even if a film or TV show has topics that would go over similar themes in real world, it is not exactly the same as real life. The shit that happens in the story is just that. It's fake fictional world with their own problems. It's not like real life.

[guardr0ck]

Intro post I guess?

I always said I would never ever EVER let go of my old online handle because it was so unequivocally me and, while that is actually still true, the community that I cultivated there for over two decades no longer is. Even as a young tween when I first started posting online in '01, I had a very concrete grasp on what is fiction, and what is reality. I used the internet to connect specifically with other girls and young women who enjoyed the kind of strange fiction and games that I love; from fanart to RP to cosplay and everything in-between. I was born with major organ failure and a deformed body, so I had to get used to accepting my lot very quickly and at a very young age. Practicing radical acceptance, if you will. The notion that other women (and men too) didn't live with such a concrete divide between the real and unreal never occurred to me, as that level of delusion was nearly impossible for me to fathom at my young age. And, for a good while, the culture of fandom reflected this, as it was always understood, for example, that the person I was conversing with was just Kelly the fellow 19 year-old gal from Wisconsin, and not actually Dave Strider from our Homestuck RPs.

This notion was completely challenged when, circa 2011, my best friend found gender ideology on this very site.

At first I was accepting and tolerant, but it quickly shoved a wedge between myself and all my friends, for it was as if a contagious disease ravaged my entire extended friend group, all of whom were neurodivergent females. My close-knit friend group in real life all began identifying as some sort of trans. Soon followed my internet friend group as well. In both spaces it then spread even further to other extended female companions we had. Altogether, about twenty young women with whom I was close with, now identify as some flavor of trans, with a few of them currently suffering grave illness in their 30's due to complications from extensive testosterone use throughout their 20's. You can not tell me that this is not a social contagion, because IT FUCKING IS. I became a pariah because I refused to take T or id as "non-binary" (a make-believe, pseudo-spiritual identity with absolute 0 basis in reality). I became a pariah because of the simple "crime" of accepting myself as a lesbian.

I have been critical of trans ideology from the very get go, albeit in a "you do you, I do me" sort of way. If the individual was close to me or even clearly trying their best to assimilate and "pass" I was even cool with using their "preferred pronouns" no matter how wrong it felt. Live and let live, and all that. Honestly, I still AM like this towards TIPs who acknowledge that they aren't actually the opposite sex. You would think there would be no issue with that, but nah, I was met with comedically extreme resistance ("bigot"/"murderer"/"violence-promoter") for stating the simple fact that one can not actually change sex. I knew these accusations of bigotry were untrue words coming from disturbed minds (who needed help, not hormones...), but I was willing to forgive these egregious accusations on the grounds of "tolerance" and "being kind". However, in their minds I had to become a True and Honest Believer or else I was evil. Of course, they could never make me believe in the unreal, so I simply held my tongue and walked on eggshells with nearly every interaction, tying myself up in knots to please them.

This changed when I was sexually harassed (in real life and online) by multiple heterosexual trans-identified males for the crime of being a gay woman. "The right cock will fix you, as long as its wearing a frock." Legit the same shit coming from the hyper-religious right, but wrapped up in a glittery package complete with hideous make-up. Most of my friends sided with them, with the men threatening to "fix" me via heterosexual corrective rape.

All I have to say to that is: FUCK YOU.

I'm lucky to have made it to my 30's, and I'll be fucking damned before I let some delusional assholes continue to control how I act and feel. You only get one trip around this rock, and I'm done letting them invade my spaces online and threaten my safety in real life. Funny that, when all the lunatic jargon and double-speak is removed, this all boils down to straight (predominantly white) males trying to sexually dominate a profoundly disabled woman who doesn't want sex with them!

If you made it this far, congrats lol. PLEASE DO interact if you are a GC artist, but especially if you do fanart of HH or 80's/90's animation (especially lost media and foreign stuff). Please understand the characters and dynamics I find entertaining in fiction ARE NOT indicative of what I like irl!!!! I can never let go of "fandom" or being creative -- it's in my blood. Literally, I come from a family of artists. But I can't keep living in this bizarre upside down space where I am forced to kowtow to the delusions of every person who lives in a fantasy, and where I am encouraged to support blatantly narcissistic behavior at the expense of my own safety and happiness.

[jerzwriter]

I have trouble understanding how you are bi yet you stubbornly insist Ethan and Tobias aren't bi. I saw you say you played as an f!mc so you didn't know it was an option, but why not change it once you did know. I can't understand your choice.

Babydoll... here's the beauty of it all... YOU DO NOT HAVE TO - AND I DON'T HAVE TO UNDERSTAND YOURS. YET WE CAN & SHOULD RESPECT ONE ANOTHER. Unfortunately, that seems to be a one-way street, and you are the one driving in the wrong direction; you should consider making a U-turn.

I've always tried to be polite and respectful when replying to these asks - even as I get screenshots of people in the fandom - people from the queer community of which I'm a part - saying fucked up shit about me because they seem to think tolerance and acceptance only apply when you agree with them. I know immaturity has a lot to do with it, but I'm over it. So I'm answering this, but I'm done being polite.

Here's what you got right. I played as an F!MC for a long time before I was ever involved in this crazy ass fandom (I may refer to that time as the good ol' days going forward). My HC was already created, and I was happy with it. So let me understand. I needed to change it to satisfy... you? Will you change your HC for me? If so, please, stop hiding behind anon like a little coward. Let me know who you are, and I'll submit my requests for what I'd like you to change in your HC. OK? I'm sure you'll rush to do it, right? Yeah, I didn't think so.

As a bisexual woman, who has been in relationships with bisexual and straight men, and bi and lesbian women within my life, I find there are different personality types within each group. Truth be told, when it comes to men, I prefer dating those who are bi, but I had a different vision for MY FUCKING INTERPRETATION OF THESE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.

Why is this so upsetting to you? Do you know how unsettling that is? As a queer person living in the real fucking world, are you REALLY telling me this is what keeps you up at night? Because if so, you must have a charmed fucking existence that neither I nor any other queer person I know has had the luxury of living.

And another thing - I DON'T HAVE TO HAND IN MY QUEER CARD because I have a straight Tobias in my HC. I know what I do for our community in real life - what I've done for our community since most people here were still sperm. STOP IT! Go do something PRODUCTIVE to help... our community's rights are going backward worldwide, and this is the shit motherfuckers are triggered over. Really? Do you do anything outside of performative bullshit on Tumblr? Because I'm going to give you a clue if you don't have one - this helps no one!!!! I volunteer with young adults who were thrown out by their families for being queer - and not one is impacted by Tobias Fucking Carrick or Ethan Fucking Ramsey NOT being bi in my fucking headcanon. I'm cracking up as I type this because it is SO ridiculous. Like you should be ashamed of yourself! DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE!

Someone asked me why I haven't addressed my MCs bisexuality more. Why? Because of fuckers in OUR COMMUNITY who behave like immature assholes. Who sit perched, waiting for the one thing they don't agree with and attack. Because of assholes who say, "Bi isn't queer enough," or "Your character isn't bi because she's in a relationship with a man." Because of assholes who are offensive as fuck on the daily, yet poor babies are offended by everything. Bruh, at least the straight people here who don't want to read about my MC's bisexuality simply skip those fics and move on with their day - I'm not getting screenshots of them saying fucked up shit about me because they don't like my HC. Do you know how unhinged this is?

This is the very last anon I will ever answer about this topic. I'm happy to discuss it if you want to send me a DM - but this is the end here.

I'm also done with self-censoring what I choose to write FOR MY CHARACTERS. Is my MC not queer enough for the queer crowd? I don't give a fuck. Is she too queer for the straight crowd? I don't give a fuck. I sat pride out in the fandom last year precisely to avoid this shit. This year I said, no, I'm joining in - I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO - and sadly, this is the result. But you know what? I'm not letting it stop me from doing what I want to do.

Babydoll... if this is triggering you this much - get help.

[chandravess]

hi! why do you use the label bi lesbian instead of bi or lesbian? genuinely curious!! ❤️❤️ i hope your day goes well 🥰🥺

okay so its kind of a long story and ties a lot into my gender identity and also trauma so buckle up lmao

so like when i was 22, i came out as bi. i was married to a woman from 19-28 and she was my first and only for a long time. i felt queer and couldnt quite pinpoint where this feeling was coming from. but...for SOME reason, my attraction to women was always what made me feel queer. i was only ever with one man (consensually) in this time and it was...meh?

now flash forward 6 yrs and i come out as trans. shortly after, i start IDing as a lesbian. honestly men terrify me and the trauma i endured from a very early age through to adulthood with several experiences of sexual assault made me incredibly distrusting of men and, quite frankly, repulsed by them.

a year and a half into my transition, i start feeling Horny Thoughts about men...but like almost entirely fictional men and celebrities lmao. hormones were doing smth to me

i had hooked up w a transmasc enby who described their gender as "if a fairy and a goblin fucked" so like...they arent a man but it was the first id been w someone who was a "dude" (im not misgendering them, this is all stuff they would use to describe themself). they were also the first person to dom me and penetrate me and it was GREAT. we hooked up like once or twice after that

then i tried experimenting w a cis guy and holy fuck it was shit. he was a lazy lay and i spent much of it thinking "i wish this dick i was sucking was attached to a girl"

several months later i hook up w a trans boy who is v much a femboy and he was the first person i dommed like...p intensely? we have hooked up a few times and still talk, he's great and 10/10 would fuck again, but like point is, it was another step in my weird sexual journey.

so, while the transmasc ppl id been w were ppl who knew i was a lesbian and were OKAY with that being so (some are, some arent), it still got me thinking like...im attracted to trans men and able to be open, vulnerable, and feel safe bc we share the experience of being trans. i dont have to worry about a trans guy killing me for being trans lmao

so, within the past month or two, i started IDing as a bi lesbian. i wanted to acknowledge this attraction i feel for men but also...i quite frankly dont think id ever be in a romantic relationship with a man. i just cant see it. so i continue IDing as a lesbian bc it centers my sexuality and romantic feelings on women and femmes bc first and foremost, i am sapphic.

[failurefemmegf]

why aren't you a transmasc anymore?

short answer: i realized my dysphoria was a combined reaction to being a lesbian who was scared of other women along with depersonalisation due to misogyny

long answer: i started identifying with the transgender community when i was around 12 or 13 years old, around the time i was in middle school. in elementary school i was friendly with boys and girls but as i grew older and the social cues for being a "girl" became too complicated, the other girls regarded me as weird and i was always lumped in with the boys.

i had childhood friends who were girls but a combination of mental health issues and abusive platonic relationships made it difficult to hold onto them. by the time i entered my sophmore year of high school, i no longer had any friends in my grade, and i resorted to helping for a very male-dominated gaming club as a last resort, which i stayed with until graduation. the gaming club was extremely libertarian conservative (i once got into an argument over whether "water is a human right") (it is, obviously). i was full on "not like other girls"ing my way through high school. my primarily male friendships continued into college, where i joined a game design degree program with a total of maybe 4 women including me in my entire class.

in the fall semester of my only year of college, i was constantly sexually harassed by a male "friend" and then manipulated against the rest of my friend group by a different male "friend" who ditched me after winter break when he realized i wasn't going to fuck him. in my spring semester i was completely alone (i had no roommates) and actively suicidal. it was at this time i threw myself into trans identity politics. i'd always been uncomfortable with my breasts because i developed earlier, and i bought my first binder, began tucking my hair into hats and attempting to pass as male on the rare occasions i would leave my dorm room.

i had waist-long hair from middle school until this point, where that summer i chopped it off, broke up with my long-term online girlfriend, and called myself a gay trans man. really though, the only men i was attracted to were fictional (comphet). i transferred to a community college and was still actively suicidal along with doing nothing about it. i blamed it all on my dysphoria.

covid hit that spring, and given some time to myself, i realized i was a lesbian. i jumped head first into being part of the lesbian community on twitter at the time, and it felt so right, like i'd finally figured out a last puzzle piece. my mental health still wasn't great due to other reasons but i didn't feel at odds with myself anymore.

after i lost my summer job and swapped to retail, my suicidal ideation and depression came back in full force. i got a new job at a grocery store and ran into a former childhood friend who happened to be a guy, and my complicated feelings towards him i mistook for love. boom, i was iding as a trans gay guy again, i continued to throw my mental health down the trash can because "IF I TRANSITION EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE", developed an eating disorder, and ended up in an intensive outpatient program for lgbt+ young adults.

i turned a corner when i learned to stop caring what others thought of me. to be secure in myself and not rely on other people to validate my feelings, my appearance, my identity. i had my ups and downs but by the time january hit, something felt different. i no longer felt "socially" dysphoric, i stopped caring about people calling me "she" or "a girl", but my trans identity had become such a huge part of my life that i was extremely torn. i began looking up detransition resources, desisted to "nonbinary/genderfluid" until i stumbled across some radfem blogs.

i'd always been told to avoid radfems because they "hated trans people" and "WANT you to detransition". but they were the only people to take my thoughts of desisting seriously. i reached out anonymously over the course of several months to several different blogs and i was blown away by the grace and kindness i received. i really want to thank blogs like @woman-for-women and @detransition for their wonderful posts about female depersonalization and dysphoria, they really helped nudge me in the right direction for me.

from where i stand now, i'm a gender abolitionist, but i'm not completely against the idea of transition. because of my past i have a lot of sympathy for dysphoric people, and i know there are probably trans mascs and men out there who do feel a genuine disconnect. however, i don't think we should push transition as the only option to treat dysphoria, and we need more studies about the effects of female socialization on female depersonalization. i'm not a scientist or a psychiatrist though, i'm just a girl on the internet who wants to help people.

[ivyblooms]

Hiiii this might be weird lol but I saw your addition to the post discussing the correlation between the gay trans men phenomenon to misogyny and you brought up the topic of rising trans slash in fanfics - as someone whose been in fandoms for like 10+ years you’re sooo right!! Even though I do read all sorts of fanfic (gay, lesbian, platonic) I’d say I’ve always had a more critical approach in fandom stuff (plus getting more into radfem theory about 3 years ago) and from the get go I always saw the ~majority~ of male slash fanfic created by women as an expression of romance/smut through a non-misogynistic lens; “men get to be people while women are women yadda yadda”. A perception I’ve always had at the back of my mind, so it always confused me when in the past 5ish years suddenly women who had consumed so much gay fanficton were proclaiming they must actually be gay men

You mentioned the rise in trans slash media and honestly I thought I was going crazy lol. There has definitely been a huge shift, where suddenly the components that made the work gay could just be altered and it’s supposedly still the same. Apologies if this seems vulgar but the switch to now male characters actually being trans, feminization in sexual/non sexual manners, and sometimes just having a “boyp*ssy” at minimum has been really fucking weird, and in some fandom spaces I’m in the change seems to have skyrocketed in the past ~6 months

Honestly sorry for the random ramble and feel free to disregard but I would love to know if you have anymore to say on this topic. I think I’ve only encountered one light discussion overlapping fanfiction / feminist theory, so it’s always interesting when I see the topic brought up!

No worries sis, it's not weird.

I am there with you. I'd been noticing the trend but when I wanted to have a quick look at Captain Marvel femslash I was like 3 pages of results in and still hadn't seen one that didn't include 'girlpenis' or equivalent. I was legit annoyed, the last thing anyone wants when looking for fxf is the word penis getting involved.

I don't want to discount homophobic fetishisation of course. As a lesbian I never really believed that was real until I finally saw some hetero fandom friends genuinely being sexually attracted to males cast in live action versions of a cartoon and I was like .. wait a second u guys were serious?? So yeah thats real, but I highly doubt it's the main reason. Especially when so many lesbians are super into slash fic as well.

So to your point, while I do think the popularity of gay male slash fiction has largely been due to women wanted to escape misogyny, I don't believe it's been a conscious thought. I don't believe many of these girls and women actively thought they are lesser than men, I don't think choosing to write mxm was a decision to highlight misogyny, I think it's just an entirely internalised 'feeling' that somehow putting a woman with a man is demeaning or inequitable therefore they want their favourite blorbo to be with someone that doesnt give them that feeling. And, to straight women, men are hot.

Like notice how so many of the pov men in older mxm fics are the one that bottoms? Even the concept of strict set in stone roles for top and bottom defining your character (seme and uke) really is more reminiscent of hetero relationships that actual real life gay relationships. I truly do think there is reason to believe this is due to making one character (the bottom) more relatable as a subconscious woman stand in. They were always shorter, they were almost always weaker, they had less body hair, they were almost always prettier and more feminine, their male genitalia was small and often barely remarked on and there was no question that their main participation in sex was being penetrated. They were trans men before the idea of trans men and gender being unrelated to sex really ramped up.

It makes perfect sense to me that the next step in that train of thought, that men and women feel unequal and gender is not related to sex, is "well I relate to men as an equal therefore I must also be a man". Like if you haven't stepped back to understand your own bias, how would you ever realise the true answer is women are equal humans despite the way the world treats us? It's not correct and it comes from a place of homophobia where straights consider gayness a club they can join on a whim rather than a meaningful material experience, but it's understandable that's the leap being made.

You are right, it has gotten so much worse over the last six months. Maybe ABO has finally become truely accepted and now anyone feels they can put any genitals on any character like its a mix and match. Maybe trans ideology has finally fully taken over the majority of fandom spaces. Maybe actual gay writers and fans got sick of so much unwanted hetero we have started dropping out of popular fandom spaces.

Seriously trying to find gay fanfiction now is so much harder than ever before, but it's something people not in fandom spaces are missing because if you see nothing more than the characters in ships you'd think it was gay. Fandom spaces are becoming hostile to homosexuality in a way I wouldn't have predicted 10 years ago. I think they probably always were, tbh, it was just that misogynistic straight women didn't realise they had another option and could get by on the fetish until they found this solution.

[manincaffeine]

NSFW asks

I want all the answers🌚(you can skip any if you want)

Okey love ✨️, Yk na you're a bad bitvh?? 😂 ,

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?

You in kitchen counter.

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:

Bad , because i didn't feel that connection b/w us , maybe it was bcz she wasn't my girlfriend nor i love her.

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:

Aann, emma mackey (from sex eduction) and lili Reinhart (riverdale)

4: Something that never fails to make you horny:

when girls say first what's want in bed.

5: Where is one place you would never have sex:

public place

6: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:

--------

7: How are you after a really good f$%k?

That feel was amazing actually, boosted my mood :))

8: Have you ever got so wet/hard in the night that you wake up wanting some sexual activity?

yess , but I didn't have my partner.

9: Tell me your wettest dream?

shhhhhhh

10: Top or bottom?

Girls on the top

11: What body attracts you the most, men or women?

women ( I'm straight)

12: Ever kissed someone of the same sex?

Nope never,

13: Home alone and you’re bored. What do you do?

Sleep 😭

14: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

My money and my dairy

15: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:

no one gave me Weirdest nickname but some ppl didn't pronounce my name correctly.

16: Are you a touchy feel person?

Yess fucking yess

17: If you were/are a lesbian, would you go for the women/girls who act like men, or the ones who act like girls?

Not valid for me.

18: Does a massage get you wet/hard?

i never goes for massage.

19: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

Depends on my girl.

20: If there’s one place a girl should touch you to make you instantly horny, where is that?

when she kiss my neck

21: Has a girl even touched you or discreetly groped you while clubbing or in a crowded place?

nope

22: Ever left the house without wearing any underwear?

Yess

23: What do you wear when you go to bed?

pajama

24: Biggest turn on: when someone tell me what she wants.

25: Worst possible time to get horny:

when i was in meeting 😭

26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:

Fucking yess

27: Worst sexual idea you ever had:

try BDSM

28: How much fapping is too much fapping:

more than 3 times in a week.

29: Best sexual complement you ever got:

Ahhaann, So once a girl told me that you're good in licking and you give to priorities girls , its makes you a gentleman. 😌

30: What do you think you and/or the opposite sex looks the sexiest in?

31: Have you ever been called a tease?

Yess 😐

32: Fill in the blanks: “If they ____________, we are ****in”

33: What your favorite part of your body:

My hair 😌

34: Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math thats “greater than, less than, or equal to]

love >>>> sex

35: What do you wear to bed?

Pajama

36: When was the last time you masturbated:

3 days ago

37: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

Nope , i never film.

38: Have/would you ever have sex outside?

nope.

39: Have/would you ever masturbate at work?

Nope

40: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?

Fucking No 😭 ( but it's one my fantasy)

41: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?

often by the weekend or I'll choose from my playlist.

42: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?

nope i never clicked

43: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

44: Does size really matter to you?

45: Is there anything you do on the internet that you would not like your significant other to see?

46: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)

47: Would you give your significant other access to your internet history?

yess , i have nothing to hide.

48: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?

49: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

50: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

A friend .

51: Do you like to have phone sex?

yupp, but i get bored easily .

52: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

53: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

yupp, i don't wanna eat hairs💀

54: Booty or Boobs?

Boobs always 🤌🏻🫠🥺

55: If you had a penis, what would you name it?

56: Have you ever been on an official date?

Yess

57: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

Nope

58: Have you had sex with someone of the same sex?

nope,

59: Have you had sex with more than one person simultaneously?

nope

60: Have you ever been to a strip club?

61: Name one naughty act you have done in a public place?

62: Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?

Morning and night.

63: Shower or bath while having sex?

Shower

64: Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?

65: Love or Money?

Money

66: Have you been caught having sex?

Nope

67: Does anyone have naughty pics of you?

nope

68: Do you like wild sex or romantic sex?

According to my mood.

69: Do you consider hair pulling sexy?

yess, but if my girl dont want it. i wont force.

70: What should a guy first do when about to have sex with you?

71: Something that will never fail to get you horny?

When girls talk dirty.

72: Favourite sexual things a guy/girl does to you thats not sex?

Kissing eachother

73: What do you wear to seduce the opposite sex?

seduce her w my words and action.

74: Have you ever paid for sex?

never

75: Do you like kissing in public?

I don't have sharam but if she's not comfortable, i won't do.