#love him in this fuckass shirt specifically

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics That Start With W (3) Masterlist

part one, part two

Wagon Wheel (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: Is there enough room in Wagon Wheel for Phil's saloon and Sheriff Howell's city-slickin' ways?

waking up to a dream (ao3) - queercatwithhat

Summary: "I missed you..." Phil mumbled against Dan's jacket, reveling in the familiarity of his smell. "I missed you more," Dan whispered warmly. Phil vehemently shook his head, "Not possible." Dan chuckled. Phil found that sound so sweet and endearing that he pulled him even closer.

Waste the Days Away (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: Phil wakes up and knows that the day is going to be a write-off. The guilt he feels is overbearing, but Dan is there to help her understand what he is going through and how exactly he feels about him, too.

We balance each other out on the seesaw of life (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil had dragged Dan to Isle of Man after his return home from tour. The sea air would do him good (even if it gave him hobbit hair) and he could be surrounded by Phil's family (who were his family too). He hadn’t actively planned to drag him onto a seesaw on a playground but it turned out to be a precious moment all the same.

we freak on the cam (ao3) - freelydopefun

Summary: Two Boys. Late Night Webcalls. Cords getting tangled up in unusual places.

we were never in the park (ignoring tornado warnings) (ao3) - pasteldanhowells

Summary: After Phil leaves Dan, Dan starts seeing a therapist. Then, Phil comes back, and Dan starts lying to his therapist about him.

wear no disguise for me (ao3) - lesbaurinkos (pluginbaby)

Summary: It’s not exactly jealousy, Phil doesn’t think. Not– exactly. But he’s feeling petulant and selfish and maybe like he wants to be a little mean about this… not-Phil. This Phil who doesn’t know the half of what it means to be half of Dan.

(or: dan made a new friend called phil. am i a joke to you)

well, you gotta do something (ao3) - lagoonlarry

Summary: how i envisioned dan's WAD tour conception, and those conversations with phil

went lookin' for a creation myth (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Phil hadn't been entirely honest with Dan, and frankly he was worried for his mortal soul because of it.

But he also had bigger problems.

WE'RE ALL DOOMED! (ao3) - idkspookystuff

Summary: Dan dresses up for the occasion, obviously.

-

it's 2022, the sun is about to explode, and dan and phil go to the woods to reflect on the end

We’re All Gay (ao3) - howell_slide

Summary: On some fuckass Tuesday in April 2024, Dan Howell dropped “gay” on the phandom.

we’re (not) all doomed (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: It's Dan's last-ever performance of We're All Doomed! and he's feeling emotional.

what a plot twist you were (ao3) - realityfallsapart

Summary: Dan works as a bartender at nights to pay the bills. His night just keeps getting worse and worse however: some guy tried to grope him, he had three drinks spilled on his shirt so far, and he was tired as hell. But he manages to exit the fray with a new best friend, a man named Phil Lester who has had his heart broken one time too many and has sworn off love. What happens, however, when they fall for one another?

What day is it? (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: It's the first day of the semester, and it's already gone to shit: Dan's late to his first class, finds out his mortal enemy, Phil Lester, is the TA, and gets rejected by the girl of his dreams, but at least tomorrow's a new day...right?

Aka the one where Dan and Phil are stuck reliving the same day over and over and can't figure out why.

What He Wants (ao3) - bestelitecouple

Summary: Dan Howell always gets what he wants.

From the car he was given on his sixteenth birthday, to the job as president of the Drama Society in Year Ten, Dan has everyone wrapped around his finger. He likes to do things a very specific way, his way, and he’ll do anything to keep it that way. Even if it means fucking Phil Lester until his ass falls off in order to keep the auditorium for the Drama Society. At least, that’s what he keeps telling himself. (Or in which Dan and Phil are both presidents of different honors societies that have to share the school’s auditorium and work together for the production of the spring musical. Dan, being a brat, comes up with a dumb plan to get it back, which works fine, until his feelings come into the mix.)

What if We Stopped Pretending? (ao3) - Full_Moon_Lover

Summary: Dan and Phil are the best of friends. That's it. Until Phil tells his old school friends he's bringing his boyfriend to the school reunion even though he's been single for years. If only he had a best friend willing to pretend to be his boyfriend in order to help him out...

Dan helps Phil out by pretending to be his boyfriend while also hiding the fact that he's been in love with his best friend for seven years.

what might come with the dawn (ao3) - cloud-gays (wind_brewed)

Summary: The Island has a Guardian, that's what people say. Phil doesn't know if this guardian is a mythical being or just a piece of gossip; a made-up story to make people feel safe during storm season. A made-up story just to make them feel secure.

Now that he decides to move in with his parents again, Phil needs the protection. Maybe he needs to reach out to this lonely, black-clothed being; reach out to the lonely man of winter.

Also called: Phil is a storm-chaser of sorts and Dan, a storm-magnet. In between running and hiding, they find each other inside the calm of the storm.

What Phil Wants (ao3) - Spring_Haze

Summary: Phil is relieved to discover that Dan understands his new kink. The men engage in a little sexual role play one day after Dan learns that his boyfriend has been watching him practice yoga in their home.

what stranger miracles (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary: Dan and Phil meet for the first time in Manchester and try to figure out what they are to each other. (Or why Phil believes in fate and Dan believes in free will.)

What We Are to Each Other (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: So maybe they both suck at communication. Maybe Dan needs to talk to Phil about what they are to each other. And maybe Phil needs to sit his parents down and tell them that big, slightly scary thing about himself. But maybe it'll all work itself out, one way or another.

What Would You Do for 14 Million Pounds? (ao3) - Merrydith

Summary: If you told Phil Lester in 2017 about the plans he made for September 30th, 2020…he would have laughed in your face. He would have told you that you were crazy and that he wouldn’t do that for “a million pounds”.

But what about 14 million?

what you won't say out loud (ao3) - seabright

Summary: All in the name of fiscal responsibility.

What Your Face Actually Looks Like (ao3) - punchmedanny

Summary: Dan is feeling self-conscious following the Toronto Interactive Introverts show. Phil wants him to feel better.

wheel of luck (ao3) - plasticheart

Summary: phil is an over caffeinated ra. dan plays the keyboard until the study rooms close.

when in fear, reach for phil (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: it’s spooky week and dan finds himself needing to feel a sense of security when they play horror games. fortunately, phil’s right next to him.

when the feeling sinks in (ao3) - weuspronouns

Summary: in which a deliveroo salad and a misplaced phone number reconnects dan and phil while on opposite sides of the world.

(when you gonna realise) it was just that the time was wrong (ao3) - The_Blonde

Summary: Phil works in a coffee shop. Or at an animal sanctuary. Or at a university. Maybe he's a Youtuber. Maybe he runs an editing firm. Sometimes he's in the 1920s. In all of these places he has dreams. In all of these places he is in love with Dan. It's just trying to work out which time is the right one.

where you end, i begin again (ao3) - bunnyslipper

Summary: Dan returns from two months on tour to the one thing he missed the most.

white, creeping sprouts (ao3) - catboyhowell (bloodyscarab)

Summary: dan looks at his and phil's heartleaf.

why do i feel fine? (ao3) - bessonschild

Summary: Dan and Phil on their balcony. He's finally feeling better.

Wishing For The Stars (ao3) - thatsthephan

Summary: A Prince!Phil Servant!Dan AU that was a lot of fun to write and has a lot of fluff in it:)

would we find each other in any universe? (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: Dan meets the worst possible version of Dan and Phil.

would you tell me if you want me (ao3) - rainbowroshenpower

Summary: AOL messenger

- D: baii ttyl <3 :) Thurs 9:08 PM

Fri 11:01 AM

- P: Why don't you come visit Manchester sometime ;) |

2009 wlw phan meeting for the first time but w lesbian tension. Phil is Pippa and Dan is Lara for the twin peaks truthers.

[stunfiskz]

Please tell me about the deltarune pokemon au. I wanna know about the teams

apologies this took me a bit to put together, i have had a Night LOL

this started as just a thing i like to do for a lot of fandoms where i make a handful of pokemon teams for characters, but it’s kind of expanded into its own concept in my head now X) i’ve been watching a lot of pchal’s videos lately and so my image for a full project with this au would likely be a romhack but i doubt it’ll ever actually get made lmao 

basically, you play as kris still in it. they’re beginning their journey as a pokemon trainer a couple years after their brother asriel left on his own. almost all of their party will depend on what the player catches, but they have a starter honedge (can fully evolve it) that you cannot remove from the party. honedge is a fun choice to me because it doubles as both the knife they have in the light world and their weapon being a sword in the dark world.

susie, ralsei, noelle, and berdly are rivals. the latter two are more of the professors assistant (professor is alphys probably) type rivals, though- berdly in particular would focus on filling up his pokédex and would brag about all the pokemon he’s caught. susie is your traditional asshole rival and ralsei your friendly one. the idea i have for noelle is that she is like… a walking glitch cause, lmao. i always loved watching pokemon glitch compilations when i was little and think its a really fun idea for her. it could start with small things- like, a scene in the school where the curtains turn black when she enters and go back to normal when she leaves, up until she starts getting some REALLY weird shit like the bad egg in her party. unsure what exactly the climax would be for that but i think it’ll be really fun to mess with haha

i think that each chapters main boss would be leaders of their own evil team. i could see it like… king leader of team spade and queen leader of team cyber, maybe? rouxls could be a team spade admin (and maybe lancer i initially didn’t think of that but the idea of there being a like 8 year old as an evil team admin makes me lose it) and swatch & tasque manager as team cyber admins.  unfortunately being rouxls brained means i’ve thought quite a bit for him in this au lmao, i think it’d be funny if he was a former member of basically every evil team imaginable but just kept getting kicked out for being incompetent 😭

as for the teams, i currently have

kris with their starter honedge

susie with a final team of hydreigon, hydrapple, druddigon, tyrantrum, scrafty, and toxtricity. all funny lizards, lol. in particular, hydreigon was chosen for a few reasons- one, i’m biased because the deino line is one of my favorites, but also because the progression of deino and zweilous having their eyes covered, the whole ravenously hungry thing, and all that fit susie very well imo. hydrapple was also chosen specifically because of the whole apple thing she has with kris.

ralsei has an umbreon, absol, altaria, cacturne, comfey, and zoroark. i initially wanted to give him a mono dark team but felt altaria and comfey fit him better than my previous picks. umbreon is a cute dark type with a fluffy prevo, absol is a fluffy dark type and i feel that its whole omen of disaster thing fits nicely with ralsei delivering the prophecy, altaria is fluffy + the whole soothing song thing fits well with ralsei’s pacify spell, cacturne looks like his hat lol, comfey is a healer and has the flowers thing like that one fuckass fangamer shirt i think about constantly, and zoroark is fluffy and ralsei himself has his whole mimicry thing going on.

noelle has an alolan ninetales, sawsbuck winter form, venusaur, azumarill, kabutops, and mew. alolan ninetales was chosen because she needs at least one ice type lmao, sawsbuck because Winter Deer, venusaur because a lot of glitch Pokémon will default to using bulbasaur’s sprite due to it being first in the dex, azumarill both because of the transgender marill glitch and the pikablu rumors pre gsc, and kabutops because one of the sprites that missingno can use in gen 1 is a fossil resembling it, and mew because Mew Under The Truck. i really want her team to be mostly themed around glitch/playground runor stuff but i'm a bit worried that these picks aren’t that recognizable/don’t make as much sense for her because of that 😅

rouxls has a leavanny, vivillon (polar), frosmoth, larvesta, dunsparce, and orthworm. leavanny has the Sewing/Caretaker thing as well as being an early bug evo, vivillon polar form in particular looks like him and is an early bug (easy to get), frosmoth is shiny and is a friendship evo meaning it doesn’t take much effort to evolve, larvesta is little worm, dunsparce is worm adjacent and has the whole “useless silly thing” going on as well, and orthworm is big silly worm. i tried to only chose evolutions that wouldn’t require a lot of effort, which is why larvesta and dunsparce are both unevolved. additionally, i didn’t actually realize this til i was sharing the team with gummy and it pointed it out, but he has a couple friendship evos, which is just always fun when evil team members have those lol.

lancer has a gastly, spheal, voltorb, gible, galarian darumaka, and munchlax. silly and round….

the rest i don’t have full teams for yet, but have some sort of idea for

i want king to have a mono dark team, particularly of more imposing pokemon. i currently have him down with a pangoro, obstagoon, and tyranitar. i really want to give him a guzzlord but im unsure how to be able to justify him having an ultra beast in universe haha. maybe the fountains could be like ultra wormholes and each main boss could have one?

queen has an electivire because. wires lol. and also a tsareena because queen pokemon + kick attack + i like it a lot that’s always been one of my favs lol

swatch has a smeargle, staraptor, porygon 2, indeedee, and spritzee (thank you jay for helping me with the last one lol). i still feel like im struggling a bit to find a real direction for their team though :p

i think it would be funny if tasque manager had a team full of luxray but im unsure how much im willing to commit to it lol

in theory i want berdly to be a bird trainer, but he could also fit well with other pokemon like alakazam for his smart boy gimmick. unsure what direction to go for him as well

ah, also! i think it would be very funny if jevil, spamton, and any other secret bosses had their own weird mechanics for fights, but im unsure exactly what. my first thought was jevil’s fight locking you into hardcore nuzlocke rules and spamton trying to steal your pokemon throughout the fight but the first feels a bit too morbid and the second im unsure how that would actually work so XD will probably go for something different there lol. also reminds me, i think it would be fun for the shopkeepers to still be shopkeepers, and each sell different items like tms or held items used for competitive play! 

thank you for enabling me to ramble abt this lol

[sophygurl]

WisCon 42 panel MCU’s Black Superheroes

The full title of this panel was Show Me My Respect: A Critical Look At The MCU’s Black Superheroes

The panel description:

Has the MCU done its black characters justice over the last 10 years? Did Disney allow Ryan Coogler to give Black Panther the respect and nuance it deserves? Did the Russo Brothers f*ck up everything in Avengers: Infinity War that the black and NBPOC writers and directors established in building complex characters and storylines? Let's explore this decade-long journey into Phase IV to see how the MCU has and will continue to treat us.

The moderator was Jennifer Cross, with panelists Aunterria Bollinger and K. Tempest Bradford.

Reminder that these panel notes are only my own recollections and the things I managed to write down - my notes are incomplete and likely faulty in places. Corrections and additions are always welcome. Especially please do correct me if I get names or pronouns wrong!

Also I name panelists as that’s publicly available information but not audience members unless requested by that person to have their named added.

[I came into the panel a little bit late, so missed intros and probably some other stuff.]

Tempest was talking about the black best friend trope and that DCTV does this a lot. Rhodey is very underused, and Civil War turned him into the disabled black best friend. 

Jennifer said Don Cheadle deserves better! Iron Man 2 gave complexity to Rhodey and Tony’s relationship and Civil War messed a lot of that up. It also made Rhodey disabled in a super questionable way [I missed some of this statement]. It was a literal cheap shot and felt like Joss Whedon saw him as an expendable character to use to elevate white man pain. Also the fact that Rhodey just automatically sides with Tony - what happened to the tension between them and Rhodey holding Tony accountable for his actions?

Jennifer made an aside to let the audience know that the panelists were going to be using a lot of code switching and AAVE references. She then went on to say “Fuck Infinity War - Russo brothers, take your white man pain to Ralph Lauren and buy some more polo shirts.” (lol)

Jennifer brought up that two black American men go to Wakanda for the first time and said nothing about it. Also they made Wakanda look “dank as shit.” 

Tempest said the amount of Cumberbatch she had to stare at in Infinity War was too much - she skipped a whole movie to avoid him! (me too) One problem with IW was that there were just too many people in it, so they couldn’t properly focus on anyone. 

Tempest added - why didn’t they just ask Shuri to fix things from the start? She was finally going to fix it, but she got interrupted by more man pain! Jennifer added that she loved the “you tried” moment with Shuri. 

Aunterria talked about IW’s short shifting of Wakanda as if they were saying “well we gave you a whole movie - what else do you want?” But also how much worse it might have been if that had been the first introduction to Wakanda instead of coming out after Black Panther. 

Jennifer brought up Winter Soldier and how Sam got to have a whole back story about his PTSD. In IW, we see him helping other people with their trauma but they never address how events are affecting him. She talked about how PTSD varies from person to person, and about how it can affect black people differently, especially.

Tempest brought up the gaybaiting of the series. Jennifer adds that she hates shipping, but she loves Sam and Bucky. 

Tempest said that Sam has more back story than Rhodey in terms of story that isn’t tied to a main white character. She will also never forgive Tony for shooting him in the face in Civil War. Marvel tries with regards to race, but their attempts are inadequate. 

She went on to talk about the character of M’Baku in Black Panther. She has a friend who was initially very upset about the inclusion of this character because in the comics the portrayal is very racist. Then he saw the movie and saw how great the character was. This is what happens when you give black people agency. Ryan Coogler had a lot of freedom in how he made BP.

Tempest added that white directors may try, but when trying to fix race in one area, they often make it racist in a whole other way. She brought up the Mandarin, for example. Why don’t you just ask an Asian person?

Jennifer said she wanted the panel to primarily focus on black people. The MCU fucks up all people of color, but the panel is specifically about black characters. 

She added that she loved watching Rhodey kick Tony’s ass. When he said “you don’t deserve to wear this suit” - it was a calling out of his privilege. She also found it suspect that Rhodey didn’t notice Tony’s PTSD in Iron Man 3. He’s a veteran and a general and would be trained to look for those signs. She said “we’re 10% of the population in LA - find one of us and pay us to fix this stuff.” Especially important to find a black veteran officer to inform Rhodey and Sam’s characters. She no longer trusts white people to write black people. 

Jennifer moved on to Valkyrie. She said she does love Thor because Chris Hemsworth. Also Taiki Watiti did surprisingly well. She loves Tessa Thompson. 

Aunterria talked about her love for Danai Gurira as both Michonne in The Walking Dead and Okoye in the MCU. However, she still falls under the trope of the exceptional black woman giving it all up for a man. 

Tempest countered that saying that Okoye fights for Wakanda over a man. She and T’Challa fight alongside one another and it’s clear that she would do the same for Shuri if she was queen. BP is not just about awesome black men, but black women too. There isn’t enough complexity in the other black characters in the MCU with the exceptions of Heimdall and Valkyrie. Asgard also had random Asian and black characters walking around that are never addressed or explained.

Jennifer loved Valkyrie drunkenly stepping off the ramp. Also the quietness of Heimdall’s character even when had more to do than just standing there. She talked about being a big Norse Scandanavian folklore nerd and said Asgard looks the way it’s supposed to look - it was actually diverse as shit. It took a man of color to finally make it look almost accurate representation-wise. She references the show The Almighty Johnsons as a show about Norse gods living in New Zealand. 

Jennifer wonders if it’s going to take only poc behind the scenes to give us proper treatment. Way down in her soul is an optimist that “no amount of beating with Lucille can shut up” that wants to know if it can happen any other way. 

Aunterria said she’s not optimistic about this. She can’t think of a poc character written by a white person that’s done anything meaningful or purposeful or accurate. 

There is much collective groaning about Iron Fist.

Aunterria talked about making Luke Cage bulletproof but not talking about police violence. Giving black characters powers without engaging in the social issues around them. 

Jennifer said she is mixed about Luke Cage. It’s the embodiment of respectability politics. But there is an effort to show Harlem and the gentrification of it. There’s this idea that poc don’t have any room to make mistakes. BP did so well that Kevin Feige is begging Coogler to come back. 

Jennifer said that she loves the women in LC - especially Misty. There are lots of women who are all different people, all unapologetically black but in different ways. She’s watching it for the women. Praises Alfre Woodard. 

Tempest uses headcanons to make movies better.

Jennifer addressed how Tessa Thompson was the one out of the women in the MCU cast to ask Kevin Feige about them wanting their own movie. Why did the black woman have to be the one to ask for what all these white women have been wanting? Why couldn’t ScarJo take her white appropriating ass up there and ask about it?

Tempest talked about the TV part of the MCU technically being in the same universe. TV shows have to include the big events of the movies but not the other way around. She said she stopped watching Shield when Daisy’s transformation killed the black male character (Trip) for one episode of white pain. Jennifer also stopped watching it in season one.

Aunterria is still watching Shield. She wondered if Trip had been killed because of the possibility of his entering into an interracial relationship. She said there is a new black male character (Mack), but his arc is all about suffering. Last season had a storyline about aliens enslaving white people, which was interesting. But the people of color come to save the white people. Jennifer interjects “Killmonger wasn’t wrong...”

Tempest adds “Joss is the most fuckassed fuckass to ever fuckass.” Jennifer asks what about Stephen Moffat? Tempest said - he’s second.

Aunterria said Shield did make the black man the team leader at the end of this season. Jennifer said - so he has to suffer for his reward now and his reward is to parent a group of white people? That’s even more fucked up!

Tempest said that BP gave her hope. Jennifer said - see, she’s not the only one with optimism. Tempest said that Coogler has some power right now - maybe he can bring in some friends and fix some more stuff.

Aunterria said that being a black writer right now is also hard because there is so much to fix. There is so much shit to work on before you can even focus on your craft - so it’s more work for them.

Tempest said her hopes are with the movies over the TV shows.

Jennifer said - “especially fuck babyvampJessica” (Karen from Daredevil). It’s like the paler you are, the more people will die for you. 

Tempest said - as far as cleaning up, BP didn’t have to do that work because they were starting from scratch. There must be other characters that can be brought into the MCU movies that can be written by black writers.

Aunterria said those do exist, but the funding isn’t there. Tempest - but Gods of Egypt somehow got funding!

An audience member asked about Heimdall and if he would come back. Jennifer said that Idris Elba has said no on that. 

Tempest talked about actors being semi-responsible to the narrative of their characters. RDJ even saying - maybe it’s time for me to go? Jennifer added - and then they throw more millions at him and I can’t be mad about that. Tempest said that we know all those people who were turned to dust are coming back. It was a bold decision to kill some of them - but we need to sunset one story in order to have a sunrise on another. Also - “fuck Thanos.” 

Tempest said that something that ruins a narrative almost as much as white supremacy is the irresponsible choices of actors going on and on - except for all of the cast of BP - they can stay as long as they want.

Jennifer said that with Disney owning Marvel, Deadpool is now officially a Disney Princess (lol).

Tempest said she sat through all of Wolverine Origins just to see Hugh Jackman naked and she is done with Deadpool now.

An audience member asked about the character Cottonmouth on LC. Jennifer talked about him as a complex character bridging socio-economic status’s. She added that if you put trauma in a black character’s history, you need to do it in a way that is not just for show. She said the opposite of the example would be Zoe Walsh.

A member of the audience asked about Lash’s purpose on Shield. Aunterria said he filled in May’s backstory and explains things to us about her that we weren’t getting just from her side. But he was mostly there for gratuitous pain and suffering of a black man and Asian woman. 

Jennifer said the MCU is allergic to black love. “Tweet that.” She wants to see a black male character saving a black female character - not just everyone else.

An audience member asked about Miles Morales. Jennifer said - we’ve had four Peter Parkers in fifteen years! Tempest said Tom Holland is at least finally a good one. Kevin Feige has said there is space for Miles, but she wonders who is going to write him? 

Jennifer closed the panel with a firm statement for the white members of the audience, especially. She said - you will take everything good from our culture and appropriate it, but not our pain. You’ve taken our stuff for fun value and for show, but you don’t address our pain. 

This panel was also livetweeted pretty extensively with #blackmcu if you want more/other perspectives from it. 

[For context, I’m white.]

[lunartearrose]

Ok but consider: splat manga spyke

I just thought about goggles, rider, and the S4 meeting Spyke for the first time. They gonna be smols just starting out turf for this and some headcanons will come into play because gosh i love to think about squids and big ol’ urchin of questionable nature… read more below because this might get a bit long :3

1. Goggles Spyke sits at his usual place, relaxing in the alleyway on his shaul with the empty sea snail shells. Well, to be specific, two empty shells and one he was finishing up eating. It was early, and squids usually wouldn’t come until about 30 minutes later, but he always showed up early just because you never know when a new squid might show up with a shiny little snail to trade for some slots.

He finished up his little snack and casts the shell aside. Just then he noticed a small blue tentacle whip behind a vending machine as he looked back out. He can hear the voices of two- no, maybe three voices of little squids if he tried to listen. They didn’t sound that old or like they planned to do something shady, so Spyke didn’t worry about it. A minute later, one of the squids peek out again, and darts right back behind the vending machine again. Spyke rolls his eye. Should he call them out or see what happens?

A few minutes pass, and a small, nearly mature squishy with a cozy looking hat walks by, noticing those behind the vending machine. With her big smile still on her face, she picks up one of the hiding squids and tucks him under her arm.

“BOBBLE NO!” Two other squids shout before squeaking and hiding back in their obvious hiding place again.

The squid named Bobble walks forward casually, and drops the unmoving pilot goggle wearing squid In front of him.

“U-uhm… hiiiiiiiiii there uh….” the little goggled squishy spoke, a hint of fear in his little voice.

“Spyke. Th’ name’s Spyke. N’ you are?” Spyke says calmly, staying relaxed.

The inkling gulps a bit. “Goggles. Heh.”

“He wants a reroll on his headgear.” Bobble says, face unmoving from that slightly disturbing smile.

“Got un’ o’ these?” Spyke asks, nodding to the little pile of emptied snail shells.

“uh! Yeah! Just lemme-” Goggles digs into his pockets and starts to freak and says, “I forgot it at home!!!”

It’s the little squishy girl to the rescue again, taking a sea snail out from under her hat and plopping it in the boy’s lap. He makes a happy noise and says “Thanks bobble!”

“right. Now give me ya goggles an’ I’ll reroll ‘em.” Spyke says.

Goggles cautiously takes his prized headgear off and hesitantly hands them over. Spyke does his work and the goggles get double damage plus swim speed. He hands them back and the squid squeals happily.

“Thanks Spyke!!!” Goggles shouts, quickly hugging the urchin before speeding off in the other direction.

The urchin was admittedly a bit dazed by the squid’s sudden movements and quick change from scared to spaz. Bobble still stood in front of him with that smile.

“want somefin’?” Spyke asked.

“Can I touch one of your spikes?” she asks.

“Nope. Poison’s in ‘em.” he answers.

“okay. Can you add a slot to this then?” she asks, removing her hat which had 30,000 coins in a little bag inside.

He nods, and does his work. “That all, then?”

Bobble nods. “Thanks Spyke!” and gives him hugs before leaving as well.

Sweet kids. He watches the two meet the other two behind that vending machine and the four of them run off to bring their chaos to the world.

2. Rider

It’s getting dark out. Boy, Spyke sure hates when winter time comes around. He had as many layers as he could find under his poncho, and frozen sea snails weren’t that pleasing to pick at. Heck, the only reason he stayed out for so long is because there’s usually a customer that likes to brave the weather for some slots or a triple reroll. So, he figures it’s a chance to get some non frozen snails or some extra cash for more blankets and space heaters.

About fifteen minutes more is all he can stand. He packs his stuff up, and begins to head out. On his way home, not too far from the plaza, he hears a little fight going on. The only reason he looked for it was because he heard a little kid shouting.

One turn around the corner, and he spots a nearly matured yellow-green squishy with a bit of a shiner already, trying to get his hard-earned coins back from the older squids that were acting like asshats. Spyke to the rescue, he guesses.

Knocking one of the older inklings flat on their backs was enough to scare them off and leave their stolen goods behind. Spyke picks up the items and hands them back to the small squishy. The little inkling grins widely, showing his chipped beak now as well.

“Thanks. Who are you?” he asks.

“Spyke. An’ it was nothin’. Better get on home, s’ gettin dark.” Spyke answers.

“Right…” the squishy trails off, and he looks around, shivering as the cold wind made him hug the not so warm leather jacket tighter around himself and his red winter scarf whip around. The look in his eyes said it all.

“Guessin’ you got chased, right? Don’ know ya way back now, huh?” Spyke says.

The little one grumbles and nods. “I live near arowana…” he says.

“s’ right on the otha side f’ town, then. Got ya phone? Could wait with ya ‘ere while ya folks come get ya.” Spyke says.

“alright… thanks.” the little one says.

The little one takes out his phone and calls his mother. He learns the kid’s name was Rider because his mom screamed at him over the phone. He felt bad for the kid.

But still, he helped the kid get through explaining that it’s not his fault he was out past curfew. About thirty minutes later they’re both frozen and the mom finally picks up the kid. Spyke quickly gets home, and spends a good hour in blankets right up against his space heater.

3. Army

Spyke is chilling at his little business alley once again. It was one of those days where he was just completely bored. But a job was a job, and this was bearable. All he had to do was sit and wait for a customer.

A while later, another squishy wearing gear that was the slightest bit too big for him shows up. He may be not quite matured into full inkling yet, but that shakily done war paint says ready for battle. Spyke figures this is bound to be a bit interesting. The little guy puffs up his chest and marches over, trying to look tough. Spyke wanted to burst out laughing but he didn’t want the squishy to cry or anything.

There was a moment or two of silence before the kid points and says, “You’re loitering!”

“Am I now?” Spyke asked.

“Yeah! That’s against laws!” the kid puts his fist up to his chest and says, “And I put a stop to law breakers! I am! Army!”

It was taking Spyke a lot of effort to not start laughing. “well I can tell ya righ’ now, m’ not loi’er’n. This s’ where I work.” Spyke says.

Little Army seems shocked “What?! Where you work??”

Spyke nods and says, “30 grand ’r a sea snail, an’ I can reroll or put extra slots on yer gear.”

Army’s eyes light up. He takes his beret off and fishes out the exact money from his pockets. “prove!” he says.

Spyke does the reroll, and the kid is lucky enough to get triple slots of quick special gauge filling on the hat. Army is squealing as he gets the hat back, realizes the silly noise he’s making, and straightens up and clears his throat.

“You’re free to go. Sorry for bothering you. Have a good one!” he says, running off.

“Cheers.” Spyke says simply. Once Army is far away enough, Spyke snickers a bit. Boy, were these new turfers a riot.

4. Aloha

Later that same day as the ordeal with army, a pink squishy with a blue tropical shirt and visor dashes into the alley way. The kid is light on his feet and dodges an angry little army who smacks into the wall when he misses the tackle. The pink one bounces off a trash can, flips, and lands on his feet before running and dashing behind Spyke.

“GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE CRIMINAL! PEST! I’LL ARREST YOU!!” Army shouts.

“Go away! You’re not even a real cop dude!!” the pink squishy shouts back. “Jerk!”

“You’re lame!”

“Shut up!”

“you first, dork!!”

The two almost get into a slap fight, and Spyke has to pull them apart. The two growl at each other and flail.

“Wot’s goin on ‘ere? C’mon, out with it.” Spyke says.

“Army said I couldn’t dance cuz I was disturbing peace and that was a stupid law or something!”

“Aloha called me lame and kept doing it!”

“that wasn’t even a law!”

“YOUR FACE isn’t even a law!”

“Dumb rich kid!”

“Stupid criminal!!”

“Jerk!”

“Fuckass!”

“SWEARING IS AGAINST THE LAW TOO!”

“YOU’RE A SUPER LAME FUCKASS!!”

“STOP BREAKING THE LAW!”

“FUCKASS FUCKASS FUCKASS!!”

And the fight devolves into Aloha saying every swear word he learned from his parent ever and Army flailing and pretty much starting to cry while he covered his ears.

“alright, alright, that’s enough! Aloha, keep yer mouth shut, take a step back, an’ take a look at Army. Know he started it, but ya ended up makin ‘im cry over somefin silly. Not a very cool thin’ if ya ask me. Army, if ya stop tryin t’ jail people an’ jus’ talk to em’, I gurantee you’ll ‘ave a better time dealin’ wit em’. Long story short, quit bullyin’ each other an’ make up, alright?” Spyke says.

He sets the two down, and the two kinda glare at each other for a moment. They then both cry and hug each other and apologize. After that big ordeal, they both walk off, talking and getting to know about each other. Spyke wonders if they’ll start to fight again. He guesses it might be inevitable. Oh well. Back to snails and slots.

5. Mask

It was a lovely spring day in inkopolis. Spyke was happy to have warmth and sunlight back as opposed to snow or torrential downpours. The air was fresh, it made him happy, and with a splatfest on friday he was ready for the sea snails to come pouring in. His mouth watered just thinking about it.

A flurry of sneezes interrupts his thoughts. A cyan colored squishy trudges up to him. Even stranger still, the inkling had a paper bag over their head with eye holes cut out. Spyke glances to Annie’s shop in the distance, wondering if it’s a weird new trend. Nope, nothing indicated that. He looks back to the squishy, another near maturity but not quite.

“Mornin’. Lemme guess… hay fever?” Spyke asked.

The inkling nods, sniffling a bit. “can’t turf at aaall…”

“sorry t’ hear that. Wot you ‘ere for?” Spyke asked.

The squishy takes a dingy, extremely trashed gas mask out from his bag. “Can you help find something like thiiis? Looked it up… the thing helps you breeaathe.”

“‘Course. Got one right ‘ere nobody wanted.” Spyke says, taking out a gas mask that was in top condition from behind himself.

“perrrrfect. Thank you.” the squishy says, giving an appropriate amount of pay.

“been a pleasure… but tell me. Why ‘re ya wearin a paper bag?” Spyke asked.

The boy sighs a bit and says, “Momma put it on me. I can’t take it off unless i find something elllse to cover it up.”

That didn’t sit right with Spyke at all. “Why would she do somefin like that?”

“‘Cauuse I’m ugly. You don’t wanna see. Nobody should and if I show somebody I’ll just get in trouble again. And be even uglier.” he answers.

“So wot if ya are? I’m pretty darn ugly too. No reason t’ hide it. N’ fact, lemme see you. I won’t judge ya, and i won’t tell anyone.” Spyke says.

The boy thinks for a moment. “…fine. you asked for it…”

The kid removes the bag. Aside from a lot of snot he was wiping away with a handkerchief, the kid had about three painful looking scars, almost seeming to be made a few days prior. And sadly, the scars would likely not be going away since they happened while the kid was still maturing. But still, Spyke had his opinion he wanted to say.

“Not bad at all. She really make a fuss ‘bout the scars?” Spyke says.

The squishy nods, and sniffles a bit. He puts the mask on, takes a few deep breaths, and relaxes.

“muuuch better… “ the squishy sighed.

“Good. An’ jus’ one more question…” Spyke says, because he’s curious and and loathes abuse, “Yer mom give ya a difficult time of’en?”

The squishy takes a moment to decipher Spyke’s words, and then answers, “She lets me know evvvvery day I’m dissapoiiinting. I’m not even supposed to be here, but I stopped caring about that a while ago… and she hits me and yells a lot, I don’t get what i did wrooong a lot… but I guesss it was the sneaking food when i wasn’t supposed to have that daaay that landed me with thiiis.”

Way to drop a bombshell, kid. “that’s not good. ‘s wot we call abuse. Should give th’ police a ring…” Spyke says.

The kid goes wide eyed and says, “Nonono! Can’t do thaaat! She knows how to bribe them, she’s gotten guys fired or got lawyers… and in the end she always thinks i tooold on heeer when it’s aaalllways someone else!”

Spyke finds it hard to hide his anger or shock. He thinks for a moment and says, “So they’re no help… then I’ll help ya how I can. I ain’t like the cops, but I can get ya a spot away from th’ lady th’ only way I know how. You’ll ‘ave t’ hold out ‘til yer matured a bit, though. Can ya ‘ol on till then?”

The squish seems surprised. “Really? You caaaan heeelp? No joooke?”

“i don’ joke aroun’ ‘bout abuse.” Spyke says seriously.

The kid goes to wipe tears, but his gas mask is in the way. “Th-thaanks, Spyyyyke…. I can hold on if it means getting awaaay from all thaaat…”

“no problem… wot’s yer name again?” Spyke asks.

“call me Maaask…” Mask answers.

Spyke holds out a hand. Once Mask shakes it Spyke says, “Pleasure to meet ya. If ya need anyfin, even jus’ need someone t’ talk, y’know where I’ll be.”

“Thaaanks.” Mask says.

The kid soon has to leave, and Spyke waves the kid goodbye. Little does spyke know he’d be the sort of fatherly guardian figure for this kid for the next couple years, teaching him how to use his intimidating nature and how to get by with less of a struggle. He’d even be teaching the kid how to flirt and romance his crushes, which was about the only thing he was a master of and good at teaching and he’d have to squid google everything else.

6. Skull

It was about two days after a splatfest. Spyke was sitting pretty with his sea snails, having a pretty alright day. He had lots of snails and lots of shells to clean up too, but he doesn’t care too much about it at the moment. He closes his eye, and lies back. If someone wants something, they’ll get his attention.

After a while, Spyke feels something… off. Like he’s getting stared at. Like very, seriously stared at. He opens his eye and sure enough, there’s an inkling boy standing there, staring directly at him, unblinking. He had purple ink and a skull bandanna, and also lacked eyebrows. Spyke felt he was relatable in that respect. The inkling seemed to have matured into full inkling not that long ago. He still had a kinda babyish face with a tint to it the color of his ink.

The staring lasted for several more moments before Spyke says, “Wot ‘re ya starin’ fo?”

“You were asleep. I was waiting for you to wake up.” the inkling answers shortly.

“ah. Well, I’m up now. Wot ‘re ya here for?” spyke asked.

“Help me find Avi. I lost him. I think he went somewhere this way.” the boy says.

Spyke assumes he’s talking about some sort of pet at first. He agrees to help him find him and they search around the alley for about ten minutes.

“Oh. He’s right here.” the inkling says, picking up one of the assumed empty shells.

What was inside was another purple inkling, in squid form, cowering in fear, hiding his eyes. The kid reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a pair of aviator glasses.

“Avi. Got them back. Your snails too.” the inkling says.

Spyke watches the scene with lots of curiosity. Avi comes out from his hiding spot, snatching back the sunglasses and hugging the other inkling. The poor kid looks like he got roughed up.

“I’m sorry you went through that trouble Skull! How did you get them back??”

“it was nothin’. They were easy to beat up. You hurt?”

“Not too bad, I mostly got scared…”

“Glad you’re okay.”

“I’m glad you’re okay too!”

God, those two kids were adorable. Hugging and all that. The two also thank Spyke for his help, and leave. The next day, Avi is back to trade in some sea snails for slots.

“hey, c-can I ask you something real fast? Just a fast favor. But really important. It’s about Skull.” Aviator says.

“shoot.” Spyke says.

“S-so uh… how do I say this… Skull is a little… orphaned and homeless. I kinda found this out recently too, along with the fact the city will be cracking down and making sure kids with no home go to one of those foster care places. I looked them up and apparently they’re overcrowded as is and reeeeaaallly bad. Like, you’d be better off on the street bad. I know you’re a busy guy, maybe like you don’t know how to, but like… ugh… what i wanna ask is… could you pretend to be Skull’s parent figure? Just so he has someone to name as that so he won’t get sent off. Please? He’s my best friend and I don’t want him to have to go away.” Avi asks.

“Sure.” Spyke says.

“Please I’ll give- wait, you’ll really do it? Like really mean it and do that??” Avi says.

“Pretty much doin’ that for another squid too, so why not. ‘sides, we look a bit similar already, an’ nobody’ll mess wi’ ‘im if they’re tol’ I’m takin care o’ them.” Spyke says, pointing to his own lack of eyebrows.

The kid is so relieved, he starts to cry a bit. “Thank you so much, Spyke! Here, take the rest of these- you don’t have to give me rerolls for them!”

5 extra snails are plopped down in front of Spyke. He happily accepts the gift. For the next few days, each time Skull comes for a reroll, he’s calling him Dad instead of Spyke. Spyke rolls with it, and in return the kid gets a fearsome reputation and Spyke gets a lot of, “You’re really Skull’s dad?!?!?” from his customers for a while.

In a way, it sort of became the truth after a while. Same with the Mask kid. He’d hear from them or about them almost every day, and be somewhat proud of them when he hears they’ve become the best of the best. He didn’t mind it one bit, having Inkopolis’ most accurate charger and fearsome sub weapon user be his semi-adopted kids. He enjoyed his crazy, colorful, interesting existence as an urchin running his business.