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karlyfr13s · 3 years

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Oathkeeper, Chapter 3

Thank you: @veryverynotgood my phenomenal beta--you keep me going when I'm busy wallowing in doubt, and you make me less of a walking run-on (hooray!).

Bless y'all: the CSMM Discord crew--it's like a community of flails, encouragement, and collaboration...such magic!

Head's up: No description of violence nor abuse; however, they are mentioned.

AO3 Links: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Most days, Killian occupied himself either by helping Granny with the more physically taxing chores around the inn and diner or on board his ship ensuring her seaworthiness. Granted, the Jolly was in top form and she certainly had no need of repairs nor did she have a heading before her; but it quieted his mind to see to her every need and to painstakingly mend every frayed hem of a sail and worn bit of paint. Lately, he’d taken to wandering Storybrooke as Granny increasingly gave tasks over to young Felix.

The boy was coming along, a bit less surly now. Killian was certain this was due to Ruby’s unending praise of his efforts--no sixteen year-old lad could resist her charms. He’d had a hard time containing his laughter when he witnessed the latest scene: Ruby, clad in a button-down shirt she must have sewn onto herself each morning, batting her eyes at young Felix as she asked for his help bringing up kegs from the cellar. The boy had practically tripped over his own feet as he scrambled to assist, then struggled mightily as he puffed up the stairs with a metal cylinder that likely outweighed his slight frame. Killian had watched as Felix professed the task “no problem”, but had also seen his eyes widen to immense saucers when Ruby cheerfully called there were only “five more to go”. At that, Killian offered his assistance quietly, assuring the boy Ruby would never know that he had not fulfilled the task single-handedly. She was occupied cleaning up after the lunch crowd filtered out, so Killian helped Felix make short work of the task before ducking out the back and allowing the young man credit for the entire endeavor.

Today, however, there was little for him to do and it made Killian antsy. He took to wandering the shore as his mind drifted to the Crocodile, the Princess, and the confusion of his present state of affairs. His increasingly cloudy thoughts were interrupted by a shouted “Ahoy, Captain Hook!” and Killian’s eyes snapped to a strange wooden contraption where young Henry Mills stood, waving to him and grinning from ear to ear.

“Good afternoon,” he sketched a brief bow to the boy as he stepped up to what he now realized was Henry’s castle. Emma had mentioned it in passing as the place the young lad took refuge in his own thoughts, an all-too-familiar notion for Killian. “I was given to understand this time of day was set aside for studies, lad. Or am I mistaken?” He raised an eyebrow up at the boy who shook his head, informing Killian school had ended an hour ago.

“My moms are busy though,” he explained simply. “Regina has a meeting with someone who wants to open a new store, and Emma is in the mines because ‘ the dwarves are flipping out about some property rights ’.” Killian chuckled at the boy’s impression of his mother. He was invited into Henry’s castle where the two sat and looked out at the waves lapping against the shore. At first, the conversation was largely Henry reporting out about his school day. It seemed he was struggling with something math-related, and while Killian’s formal schooling was long behind him, he did offer the boy assistance.

“If, that is, your parents will allow it,” he added quickly, unsure where he stood in the strange dynamic of this town and particularly this family.

Henry snorted at that. “Regina might get weird about it, but she’s trying to make up for the whole...Evil Queen thing, so I think I can manage one mom. The other mom…” he shrugged “I don’t think she’d mind as long as I’m not asking her the math questions. She said it was her least favorite subject in school.”

Killian steeled himself for his next question, taking a deep breath and levelling his gaze at Henry. “And your father?”

Henry made a face at that. “I don’t really know,” he admitted in a tone Killian couldn’t quite decipher. “He was supposed to pick me up from school today,” Henry tucked up his knees and rested his chin on them in a pose Killian had seen Emma take up as well. It seems they both made themselves smaller in these moments of questioning. “I don’t know if he forgot, or if something came up...I don’t think he knows what to do with me.” Henry peeked up at Killian, looking so uncertain of himself that it nearly broke the man’s heart. He knew what it was to feel on uneven ground with one’s father, to feel more a burden than a blessing, and he refused to allow Henry’s mind to wander those dark halls. While he could offer no real comfort when it came to the man Neal seemed determined to remain, he could offer a promising distraction that should spark young Henry’s curiosity.

“Well, whatever may be delaying him, it certainly has come at an opportune moment for me. Would you care to join me on board the Jolly , Master Mills? It’s past time she received an inspection from a keen eye such as yours.” The boy’s face lit up immediately and he jumped up, grabbing a device from his jacket pocket. After a moment’s pause, Killian heard a tinny version of Emma's voice as Henry hurriedly explained the plan to his device, suppressing a smile as Henry rolled his eyes at his mother’s questions.

“Yes, we’ll stay in the harbor,” he glanced at Killian who nodded along. “Yes, I will stay away from the railing and listen to everything--did you just call him Killian ? That’s weird, Mom, he’s a Captain...well, you’re supposed to address him by title because it’s his ship, of course…yes, yes, no….Mom, I’m not gonna die. I’m gonna go around the harbor with a master sailor…”

Killian knew the lad had won out when a rushed series of ‘thank you’s’ left his mouth before he tucked the device away once more. “She says, ‘tell The Captain that if you come back with one hair out of place, I’ll shave his off with David’s longsword’. She’s just being weird, I know we’re gonna be great--let’s go!” The lad took hold of Killian’s hook and led him down the small stairs onto the sand, setting off in the direction of his ship.

Once aboard, Henry was clearly overcome with curiosity. His return trip from Neverland hadn’t afforded him much time to explore or ask questions. In fact, he’d largely been asleep from pure exhaustion. For Killian, the afternoon with Henry was a remarkable chance to see his ship through the eyes of another. The boy’s questions seemed endless, and while they started with simple questions of identification--what parts of the rigging were called, the names of the various decks and quarters--they quickly expanded to encompass how everything came together to make her sail. His enthusiasm was infectious, and it brought Killian so fully out of his earlier sour mood that it nearly felt like Henry had his own kind of magic.

“Okay, but how do you get up to the crow’s nest?” Henry scrutinized the location through narrowed eyes. Killian stepped in behind him, pointing out the most logical route through the rigging. “Cool! Can I try?”

“I...don’t think that’s wise, lad. I prefer my head firmly attached, and your mother may well remove it if she finds out I let you free-climb the rigging.” Henry turned to face him, a mischievous smirk on his face as he intoned that she didn’t have to know about it.

“While I appreciate the enthusiasm, I need her to like me far better than she does before I conspire against her wishes. A rogue can only get away with so much when it comes to the tenacity of a mother,” he winked, and hoped like hell the boy would let it go. Of course, as Emma’s child he should have known that would be improbable at best.

“Oh, she likes you well enough.” Killian furrowed his brow at this while Henry grinned. Obviously the lad knew how to catch his attention, though just how aware he was of what Killian felt for Emma was still unclear-- the notorious Captain Hook, bested by a child . “You earned a ton of points with her in Neverland,” Henry clarified. “I know she didn’t tell me everything, but she did tell me you saved my grandpa, and I already know you saved me. Since she just got this part of her family back, you gotta know that earned you like...a million points in her eyes. You could totally stand to lose a few of them and teach me how to get up there.”

It took Killian another five minutes to finally persuade Henry that rather than risk a broken arm, or worse, he should simply ask Emma for permission before he learned to scout from above. The cost of negotiations wasn’t much, Henry simply wanted to learn to steer the ship, and so Killian guided him in his quest as they toured the harbor together. The lad had adventure in his blood, that much Killian was certain of, and it seemed he just might be falling in love with the sea as well. The idea tugged at Killian’s heart, as did the pure joy he saw in the boy’s face when they returned to port after the successful little journey.

After receiving a message on his device, Henry mentioned needing to return to his grandparents’ loft, and Killian was happy to escort him, listening to Henry’s re-telling of their afternoon on the Jolly and basking in the shared moment. To hear Henry tell it, you’d think they’d travelled across a realm or two rather than simply around Storybrooke’s small harbor. He wondered how the boy would tell it to his mother and what she would think. Would she be angry at Killian and think he had overstepped? Would Henry mention his father’s neglect today?

His thoughts were interrupted when they arrived at the door and Henry flung his arms around Killian. He hesitated only a moment before returning the fierce embrace. “Thanks, Captain,” the boy grinned up at him. “Next time, I’m going up that rigging though. And I’m learning how to use your spyglass up there, right? I wanna see everything--as far out as I can!”

Killian chuckled, “So long as you have it in writing from your mother, aye lad.”

---

Two nights later, Killian awoke to someone pounding on his door in the middle of the night and he bolted upright, grabbing his hook from the bedside table as he crossed the pitch-black room. He swung the door open to reveal a distraught Emma Swan, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy, and her fingers tapping an uneven rhythm at her side.

“I didn’t know where else to go, but I couldn’t stay in that loft for another minute,” she explained, voice cracking. “Can I come in?”

Killian stepped aside, allowing her to pass before he followed and shut the door behind them, clicking on the lamp by the bed and sitting down. There was little room, and she took a spot near him on the bed, her right leg bouncing as she stared down at the floor. He gave her a moment, but when she showed no signs of relaxing he gently spoke her name, “Swan?” Her leg stilled and she looked up, tears tracking down her cheeks. “Swan, what’s wrong?”

As he waited for her response, Killian wracked his memory--what had happened over the course of the last few days? He’d seen her in the diner each morning when she picked up her coffee and there had been no hint of whatever was on her mind. He’d run into her at the library when Henry was doing research for a school project and he was reading up on this realm’s history, but she’d been perfectly fine and that was only yesterday. They’d even discussed finding volunteer work for Felix as he was starting to grate on Granny’s nerves, Swan mentioning it may be best if the boy also enrolled in school. What could have changed so much since yesterday? He searched her eyes and waited, hoping she would reveal the problem in due time.

“I yelled at them,” she murmured at last, dropping her eyes back to the floor.

“Pardon? At whom?” He’d seen Emma yell at a fair number of people, himself chief among them, and didn’t recall her reacting in this way before.

“My parents,” she clarified, “I yelled at Snow White and Prince Charming of all people, and I know I hurt them...she was crying when I left the loft, but I was just...I was so angry with them that I couldn’t, I mean, I can’t be there right now.” She sniffed, and Killian saw her shoulders start to shake. He took a risk, trying his hand at comfort when he slipped an arm around her shoulders and to his surprise she willingly leaned into him. Silence fell between them. He knew there was far more to the story, but wanted to let her move at her own pace and tell it in her way rather than pry it out of her.

She wiped her eyes and took a few slow, deep breaths. “I’m sorry I woke you up,” she started, “I don’t know what I was doing, I just had to get out and you were the only person I thought might answer the door this late.”

“Always available to help a lady in distress, Swan,” he tried a light jest and was rewarded with poke to his ribs. “Oww--just going to wake a man up and bruise him in his own room?” He pulled back to smile at her and she immediately scooted away, a blush blossoming on her cheeks. It was then he realized they’d never shared a touch that gentle and intimate. Yes, they had kissed-- and gods what a kiss it was --but moments before he’d been granted permission to hold her. It was just the two of them in the quiet hours of the night, and she had spent these vulnerable moments cradled against his bare chest. He cleared his throat and asked softly, “What was it that upset you so? Is there something I can do to help?”

She shook her head, tucking her legs under her as she chewed her bottom lip. With a huff, she continued. “They asked if I wanted to have family dinner, and that’s kind of...new, but I went with it. So Regina dropped Henry at the loft and I thought it was going to be--anyway, it wasn’t what I thought. Neal showed up ten minutes later.” She was picking at the quilt on the bed and wouldn’t meet Killian’s eyes, probably for the best given the sneer he couldn’t quite hide. “I didn’t want to make a scene in front of Henry, so I just went along with things at dinner. I figured I could deal with a couple of hours, plus the kid is a hell of a buffer and good at keeping everyone talking, but I know he didn’t show up the other day when you and Henry went sailing. I know when Henry talks Neal only half listens.” She paused for a long while, and Killian crossed the room, offering her the flask he pulled from the pocket of his greatcoat.

She took a swig and rolled her shoulders, visibly trying to relax before turning back to face him. After a soft word of thanks, she continued. “When Henry left, Neal stuck around. My parents offered him a nightcap and asked if he’d like to stay over .” It didn’t take the experience of Dr. Hopper to see she was disturbed by this. “And I lost it. I am so sick of their meddling, and their bizarrely perfect vision of him that I completely snapped. I spit out the whole story--”

Killian sat up straighter at this, aware she’d built up momentum and certain he was about to have another piece of the puzzle that was Emma Swan click into place.

“How he’d preyed on a goddamn homeless teenager, offering her shelter when he knew she didn’t have any of her own. How he knocked up a fucking seventeen year old and left her to rot in jail for his crimes, never bothering to admit his own guilt, never checking in to learn he’d fathered a child,” her tears flowed freely and her eyes blazed like emerald fire. “I told them the truth. That he was a predator, and I was too young and stupid to know better, and that I didn’t have the luxury of having anyone to warn me about people like him, of having anyone who cared enough to see the situation for what it was.”

Her breathing hitched and Killian instinctively reached for her, pulling her into a tight embrace and stroking her hair as she lost the final shreds of her composure. She sobbed against him and he murmured to her small comforts, that it would be all right and she didn’t have to be alone. After a while, her sobs diminished, lessening to sniffles and gasping breaths. He rubbed slow circles on her back and she finished her tale, tone empty and defeated, “I told them exactly what I finally realized: that I was abused by the man they keep inviting into our family, and that I cannot be in that place if they really think I’m supposed to patch things up with him and act like none of this happened, like it didn’t matter that he used me and threw me away.”

His heart broke for her, eyes stinging with unshed tears as he listened to the culmination of her loss and pain. “I don’t know how to face them again,” she mumbled against Killian’s chest, sagging against him in complete exhaustion. He assured her she needn’t think of that now, that what she needed was rest. And he offered to share the space with her. She nodded quietly, taking the offered shirt and pants and leaving to change in the adjoining bathroom.

Killian lay back, propped up on a pillow while his mind processed all she’d told him. He knew without a doubt her parents would mend this relationship, though it may well take time. He knew as well that whatever he’d promised Neal, that oath had been needless. In fact, the larger problem Killian now faced was how to make it through the next twenty-four hours without gutting Neal with his hook. The man had taken advantage of Emma, had framed her for his crime, and had abandoned her. It seemed Bae had become his father after all, and that did not bode well for him in Killian’s eyes.

His violent contemplations were interrupted by a bashful looking Emma, clad all in his own black attire and softly padding across the small room. “I’ll take the side by the door, Swan. Old habits, you know,” he nodded toward the cutlass by the bed and his hook which once again lay atop the nightstand. She smiled sheepishly as she slid under the covers next to him, offering a soft word of thanks and curling up with her back to him. He clicked off the light, desperately hoping she couldn’t hear the pounding of his heart as Killian tried like hell to fall back asleep.

Thanks for reading! Tagging the usual suspects: @kmomof4, @teamhook, @gingerpolyglot, @hollyethecurious, @caught-in-the-filter, @lonelyspectator12, @donteattheappleshook

#cs fan fic #captain swan #oathkeeper #killian jones #emma swan #henry mills #captain swan fanfic #karly tries to write

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imagining-in-the-margins · 3 years

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TB&TB Anon Answers! 🐇 [NSFW]

1. Ah, I absolutely adore when people quote me back @ me 😭 It's so sweet and it makes my day every time (especially when I forgot what I even wrote, like right now).

Also, who ever said omg and wowow aren't real words? They are my preferred form of communication 😌

2. You flatter me! Love definitely exists, and I can't wait for you to find it. I'm so excited to show you all more of Penelope! She is not over yet!

Which reminds me, do you y'all have any strong feelings about wanting to see her interact with the team more (like karaoke)? I don't really have any planned, and I'm not sure it would actually be productive for the plot. I might write a little spin off fic for it one day, though. As always, you can let me know here.

3. Never worry about not reading it right at release! I love when people message me a long time after, it just reminds me that people are still stumbling upon my mess and enjoying themselves.

I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed Part 18! I knew it would be a hard one for a lot of people. It was so cathartic to write, and I was shocked by how nice everyone was about it.

For those who missed it, I actually finished Part 21, I just realized today that I never went and updated Part 20 to add a link. You can read Part 21 here! Thanks for sticking around, and I hope you enjoy H2M.

Also... you're fantastic!

4-6. You are so sweet for doing this for me. I really appreciate you, and I hope you know that. It really makes my day every time.

Penelope is one of the most difficult characters to write for me! I honestly think she is one of the most creative characters, and I often find myself unable to string something unique enough together to sound realistic to me. So, I'm very glad you all think it works!

Garvez was stolen from us, and I refuse to accept it. They are in love. Let them be in love, CBS 😭 (or at LEAST give us Ralvez).

He's such an asshole sometimes, lmao. I have an interaction later between Penelope and Spencer that I think encapsulates their relationship well. I wish CBS had gone more into their friendship, because I think it's one of the most valuable ones on the show. (I mean, come on... "If Reid dies, I quit"? Gold.)

I'm always torn between whether Spencer would definitely want to fuck in a library, or NEVER fuck in a library (what if the books get damaged?!).

I'm so glad you caught the petals/feathers part! I didn't get a lot of comments on that section on the other platforms and I felt so clever when I wrote it 😅

Man, the Russian bits in this were just straight translations ripped from a site of "romantic sayings in Russian." If anyone can speak Russian, hmu, lmao. I would much rather have someone to run it by if I can!

Ah, yes... I mentioned it before, but I think it's important for close Readers to realize how dependent the two are on physicality to express themselves. Spencer should probably work on that, huh... ? Wonder why he's doing that...

I fear I have nothing to say to this line beyond 🌝...

I'm glad to hear it didn't drag on. It certainly felt like forever writing it 😂 I've been very exhausted lately by work + social life, but I am thrilled to be back to writing this weekend.

Thank you again, friend. I look forward to hearing from you again, and I hope that you continue to enjoy yourself both in and out of my blog. You are amazing and deserve the world!

7. Awwwe, that's so kind of you to say. I'm glad to hear everyone enjoyed my version of Penelope, I'm always worried that people will disagree with my characterizations. Penelope will be back in a big way later, and I absolutely cannot wait to show you.

I think this is probably the story I reread the most. Partially because I need to remember for a scene I'm writing, and also because I'm always surprised by my own writing, lol! I never remember what I wrote!

8. Ah, you know what, I didn't have any other scenes like that planned! But now that you've pointed it out, I will add one 🤗 It suits that part of the narrative well.

#adultsonlyplease #tb&tb #answer #answered

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parisofpeoplez · 3 years

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Hello I'm back again trying to get this out of the way so that I can MOVE ON GOD. I have soo many feelings from Vincenzo finale and I feel emotionally exhausted, so I'm going to try and sort my thoughts out here. This is going to be very long and chaotic....

I had started watching this show sometime in March and caught up with the episodes in the week before episode 13-14 aired. That's when I discovered the fandom on Tumblr. I've never been a part of such a fandom and it elevated the whole experience so much more and let me just put it out there first and foremost - y'all are the most intelligent, funny and creative people I've ever come across.❤ Living in today's reality where we can't even meet our friends, having a collective community experience with you all was honestly such a comfort. I will forever be grateful to this show for giving me this experience ❤❤

I've been trying to look at the positive sides of the finale but it's difficult to do so. Not saying there's aren't any, I just feel the not-so-positive ones outnumber the positive ones imo...

I've become so attached to this show that I've even surprised myself. Props to the writers and creators for creating characters and giving them such good development arcs. I truly came to see the Geumga plaza gang as a family. Blood is not what makes you a family and they proved this till the very end.

Hong Cha Young my queen....I absolutely adore her. I've never come across a female character like her in any show. I love her quirks (like even the way she walks with a bounce in her steps is so extra!) and I love her strength. She was ready to go all out to make her father's murderes pay, which is probably why I have sort of mixed feelings about her character in the last episode. On one hand I do know that her want for revenge against them is what started it all, and she deserved to kill Zumba Snake and Han-seok. But it is one thing to want to kill someone, and another thing to actually do it yourself. In the initial eps, we saw that she made Vincenzo promise not to kill anyone, but went back on it with 'promises can be broken out of necessity'. And yet, she ended up staying at Vincenzo's place out of fear that he would actually kill. She might have went back to making peace with the fact that Vincenzo is bound to kill and yet, when she witnessed one of the cryatal balls dying (idk his name), she had to take the time to remember why she was doing what she was doing, and why she had been supporting Vincenzo all along. As viewers we would have been satisfied had she been the one to kill Myung hee (since she was the one who gave the order to kill Cha Young's dad), it would honestly be completely out of character for her. She's a ruthless, cunning lawyer, but not a killer. Which is why I completely understand why the writers decided not to go that way.

On the other hand, Vincenzo has grown up in the Mafia, this is what he has learnt his entire life and what he's best at. He understood that it would have long lasting emotional impacts on Cha Young if she killed. He didn't want her to suffer like he does, which is why he offered her an out in ep 19, warning her that they will now become monsters, and delivered the final blow to Myung hee and Han-seok.

I am satisfied with Vincenzo being the one to kill them. But what I am not satisfied by at all is how Cha Young was essentially side lined in the finale, and the fact that Han-seo sacrificed himself in the end. They could have written Cha Young being involved in some way. The entire sequence in the beginning of ep 20 could have been so much more impactful, had they taken a slightly different route. I still do not understand why they didn't make Han-seo push/kick Han-seok's hand so that that last bullet ends up somewhere that is not a human body. I am as annoyed as I was when Gu Seung ju died in CLOY. I know that they had been foreshadowing his death all along, right from the moment when Cha-young and Vincenzo have that conversation about how underdogs more often than not end up dead (or something along those lines, I can't recall exactly), and then more recently in the last eps, but still it would have been a great twist for him to actually be alive, and reveal it later in the episode like they did with Mr. Lee. (Please Mr. Lee's potential death sub plot was just....NO. It was unnecessary to give him a fatal wound and make us believe that he was dead ESPECIALLY after they killed Han-seo). At the very least, even if they did want to kill Han-seo, they could have written it better and given some sort of closure to his character. I will forever mourn his loss...

Coming on to the deaths of the antagonists. Choi Myung Hee's death was.....something. To be very honest, I don't really know how I feel about it exactly. Not saying I hated it or that she didn't deserve it. I liked the whole bit about making her dance one last time. I just really don't know how to feel about actually watching her burn. As for Jang Han-seok's death, I think it was a bit too gruesome for me to digest (he deserved it tho) but I really liked two things about it - Vincenzo taking his watch and the crow. Now THOSE were satisfying.

As much as I hated it when Vincenzo had to leave, after thinking about it, I feel it was necessary. The police were after him and they literally did not have the time to fabricate any sort of evidence that would gurantee him to walk a free man. Even if they had tried to do it, it would've been a gamble. Vincenzo had to leave so that he can come back to Cha Young later and not end up behind bars instead. Yeah I know he was going to retire initially but after Luca's visit, he realised that he can't leave his family in Italy alone. The Mafia are his family after all. He's grown up and spent his whole life amongst them, he can't just leave them to defend themselves, esp when their boss is his incompetent brother. He had to take care of them first because that is what they do, they look after their own. Even though he offered the enemies money, it would only keep them away for so long and there would always be more enemies.

I'm not gonna talk about my thoughts on Chayenzo since I already made a long ass post about it (x)

I did not mean to ramble on so much but oh well! I couldn't sleep last night with so many thoughts running around my head and I needed to vent them out, so here we are lol. These are just my ramblings on the last episode, not the whole show. It is still one of the best shows ever created and I don't want to let the ending ruin that for me. It will take some time for me to accept it tho. Not in the mental state to go for a re-watch but I probably will at some point when I'm not feeling so emotional (is it the PMS? It v well could be lol) and when I do, I will be v conveniently only skipping to the kiss scene and ignore the rest of ep 20 lol (It was an amazing kiss scene okay).

#anxious gal shares her thoughts #more like word vomits #I'm not a writer by a long shot but the WAY these TV SHOWS of all thing make me furiously type on my phone #do I have anything else left to say?#I don't know #I hooe not lol I'm scaring myself okay #it is just a show why am I so attached??#anyhooo #long post #vincenzo #vincenzo spoilers #hong cha young

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mysterycheerio · 3 years

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Lights Up, on Washington Heights up in the break of day…

Peter closed his door, keys rattling in his hand. Across the street sat his little corner shop - the coffee shop he had worked in since he was small, and in front of it, the gang of graffiti artists painting the roller door in front of it.

The customers were gathered around, watching the artist, mumbling to themselves in disagreement for the pseudo Banksy.

Frustration filled him, and he ran towards them, shouting, "Hey, HEY!"

They ran off.

I wake up and I got this little punk I gotta chase away,

He entered the shop, asking the polite customers to bear with him a moment while he got everything ready, humming to himself as he did his chores.

Pop the grate at the crack of dawn, sing while I wipe down the awning-

He stepped outside, flipping the sign to 'open', and said in a good-natured tone, "Hey, y'all, good morning."

Piragüero, the man selling a sweet, shaved ice type dessert, called a 'piragua', rounded the corner, like he did every day, "Ice cold piragua! Parcha, China, Cherry, Strawberry, and just for today, I got mamey!"

"Yo, Piragüero! ¿Como estas?"

"¡Como siempre, Señor Parker!"

He smiled as the old ladies brought in their grandchildren, pulling them up to the desk. He greeted them the way he knew the ladies wanted.

"They call me Peter, and you prob'ly never heard my name - reports of my fame are greatly exaggerated," he said in a sing-song voice. The guardians began to shop, leaving the children at the front of the store listening to his story - how he's a first generation immigrant, who now sells coffee in his little corner shop.

He went into the back for the second, talking loud enough so that the kids could hear him. He opened the fridge and sniffed the milk, checking to see if it was still fresh, but all that met his nose was the scent of putrid dairy.

The door opened, and in stood Maria Carbonell, known to the community as Abuela Maria.

"Abuela, my fridge broke," he said, voice hinting at desperation as he tried to speak quietly so the kids wouldn't hear him, "I have café but no con leche!"

She smiled, "Try my mothers old recipe: one can of condensed milk."

They walked back out, winking at the kids, "Nice!"

"Ay, Paciencia Y Fe!"

He turned his attention to the kids, "That was Abuela, she's not really my Abuela but she practically raised me, this corner is her esquela," he said, the kids laughing as he turned on the spot.

"Excuse me," a middle aged man said politely, "Can you tell me how to get here?" He pointed at a picture of downtown.

"Ah, you're probably thinking, 'I'm up shits creek'. Have you ever been North of 96th Street?" He shook his head. Peter figured as much, "Well, you must take the A train, go even farther than Harlem, to Northern Manhattan. Get off at 181st and take the escalator. And you're there!"

"Thank you so much," he said, grateful, before holding his hand out to one of the kids and pulling him out of the shop, "Come on Michael."

"But dad, I want to listen to the man's stories!"

He smiled.

Soon the kids had to depart with their guardians, and he gave a friendly wave at their departure.

I'm getting tested, times are tough on this bodega, two months ago somebody bought Ortega's. Our neighbours started packing up, and picking up, and ever since the rent's went up-

"It's gotten mad expensive," a kid said, making small talk as Peter handed him his coffee.

"But we live with just enough," he said, smiling.

"Amen, brother."

Next up to bat, the Starks! They run the cab company, and struggle in the barrio, see - their son Harley is off at college, tuition is mad steep, so they can't sleep, everything they get is mad cheap.

"Good morning, Kid," Tony said, hand in hand with his wife, Pepper.

"Pan caliente café con leche!"

Tony nodded, "Put 20 dollars on today's lottery-"

"One ticket, that's it!"

"Hey, a man's got a dream."

Peter laughed at the couples banter, when Pepper addressed him, "Don't mind him, he's all excited cause Harley flew in at 3 am last night-"

Peter set down the drinks, "Don't look at me."

They took their drinks, and as a parting message, Tony said, "Underoos, come over for dinner, there's plenty to eat!"

Peter barely got five seconds before he heard the sound of distinct chatter, "So, then Yesenia walks in the room-"

"-Uh huh."

"She smells sex and cheap perfume, it smells like one of those trees that you hang from the rear-view!"

"No!"

"It's true! She screams 'who's in there with you, Julio!' Grabs a bat and kicks in the door, and she's in bed with Josè from the liquor store."

"No me diga," the younger of the two said.

"Wanda and Nat, going to the salon?"

Nat nodded, and the two chorused, "Thanks Pete!"

Monday is a busy day for him, to say the least.

The bell on the door dings for the umpteenth time that morning, but instead of a customer, it's a small, black boy, fourteen, who's rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

"Miles, you're late," he says, his tone annoyed, but Miles knows there isn't any real bite behind it.

"Chillax," he says, making his way to the back of the store, "You know you love me."

He rolls his eyes.

Me and my cousin running just another dime-a-dozen, Mom-and-Pop, stop-and-shop and oh my god, it's gotten two darn hot-

He turned on the AC. The weather man said this summer will be one of the hottest in history.

People come through for a few cold waters and a lottery ticket, just a part of the routine, everybodies got a job, everybodies got a dream. They gossip as I sip my coffee and smirk, the first stop as people hop to work.

That's his day really. An endless blur of one dollar, two dollars, one fifty, one sixty-nine, I got it, you want a box of condoms what kind?, that's two quarters, the New York Times, you need a bag for that? The tax is added.

Like he was saying to Miles when he first came into his life, "Once you get some practice at it, you do rapid mathematics automatically."

Miles then comes out of the back, preparing himself to work the counter so Peter could do the coffee's - Peter was the only one who knew the secret recipes that kept the customers coming- successfully snapping him out of his thoughts.

"How are they today?"

"Practically everybody's stressed, but they press through the mess."

Miles nodded.

"You ain't got no skills," a voice said, as they walked into the store.

"Ned!"

Ned smiled, leaning against the counter. Peter and him were best friends growing up, so naturally, Ned was a regular in the shop, despite working long hours for a boss that didn't respect him.

"Yo, let me get a-"

"Milky way?" Peter guessed.

"...Yeah. Let me also get a-"

"Daily news."

"And a-"

"Post."

"And a most importantly, my-"

"Boss' second coffee, one cream, five sugars."

Miles wrinkled his nose at Ned's boss's absurd amount of sugar, and Ned began to talk to Peter about his job while he waited.

"I don't get it! I'm the number one earner! He can't keep me on the damn back burner-"

"Yes he can."

"I'm making moves, and I'm making deals, but guess what?"

"What?"

"Ya still ain't got no skills!"

"Hardee-Har," he said, sarcastically, pouring the creamer in.

"Has Michelle shown up yet?" Ned asked Miles, who was smiling.

"Shut up!" Peter said hastily.

"Hey, dude, don't be upset. You should tell her how you feel. Buy the girl a meal,on the real, or you ain't got no skills."

The doorbell dinged. This is why Peter was so anxious to be talking about Michelle. She normally came in around this time. Right now, she was looking at the ground, phone to her ear.

"Mr. Johnson, I have that security deposit. I've been saving to make a down-payment, and pay rent… no, no, I won't let you down-".

Ned whispered to him, "Here's your chance, ask her out."

"-I'll see you later, we can look at that lease," she said, before hanging up.

"Do something, make your move, don't freeze!"

"Hey," he said, buzzing with nerves.

"You owe me a bottle of cold champagne," she said, her voice soft and soothing. Despite this, her words made a heavy feeling form in his gut. It was something they'd thought about years ago, but only if-

"Are you moving?"

She shrugged, "Just a little credit check and I'm on that downtown train."

He tried to shake off the sad feeling, "Well, your coffee's on the house."

"Okay," she said with a smile, before turning to leave.

"Peter, ask her out."

"No way," Miles said.

But Michelle turned around, "I'll see you later… so…"

And with that, she left.

"Oh, smooth operator, oh damn, there she goes," Ned teased, before taking a look at Peter’s still kinda sad face, "Hey, dude. Take five, get some fresh air, a walk outside. You look exhausted, lost…"

"I kinda feel that way," he joked, but was it a joke?

Ned looked at him with sympathy, "Hey, the whole neighbourhood is struggling, and times are tight, and you're stuck to this corner like a streetlight…"

Ned looked at his watch, and rushed out of the shop, saying he was gonna be late and bidding adieu to the two guys, but Peter could say it back, his friends words bouncing around in his head.

Yeah, I'm a streetlight, choking on the heat. The world spins around while I'm frozen to my seat. The people that I know all keep on rolling down the street, and everyday is different so I'm switching up the beat.

Cause my parents came with nothing, they got a little more, and sure, we're poor, but yo, at least we got the store. It's all about the legacy they left with me, it's destiny, and-

One day, I'll be on the beach with Miles writing checks to me.

That's what he wants to do. His parents died, along with his aunt and uncle, leaving him in the care of Abuela. He longs to go to a beach, and reconnect with his roots. A better life, one where he isn't stuck serving coffee's.

It gets more expensive every day, in their little corner of the world.

Turn up the stage lights, we're taking a flight to a couple of days of what it's like-

In Washington Heights.

#peter and tony #peter parker fics #tony stark #no powers au #in the heights #coffee shop au

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

Nostalgia, Part 3 (Rujubee) - Dartmouth420

nostalgia is a series that follows the re-ignition of raven/jujubee’s friendship (with benefits) while jujubee competes on all stars five and raven is working on set. there will be one chapter for every episode of AS5 where jujubee appears. drag names used with male pronouns.

summary: Jujubee’s coming off the thrill of the challenge win and the lip-sync battle. But jealousy is a double-edged sword… and bad habits are hard to break.

tw: smut, dom/sub dynamics, mild degrading language, mild jealousy

a/n: i’m enjoying the heck out of AS5 and i hope y'all are too.

Jujubee was very pleased with his performance in the challenge. Designing and presenting the hotel room had been surprisingly fun and despite his early misgivings, India and Alexis had been great to work with. Jujubee was confident, he’d been funny, coherent, and had delivered exactly as he’d intended. One hundred percent pure Laotian gold sheets indeed.

Raven hadn’t been around much and Jujubee hadn’t sought him out.

“Girl,” said Mariah, in that patient, knowing drawl of his as they painted their faces in the mirror in preparation for the runway and the judging, “I know what you’re doing.”

“Do you now?” responded Jujubee, carefully covering his mild panic. Not that there was anything to panic about but he had technically broken an important rule…

“Don’t you look at me like that, I ain’t a snitch!” laughed Mariah, “But I noticed that hickie. Maybe next time I’m feeling the stress of the competition I’ll go see for myself if darling Raven is around. I’ve got good memories of that mouth.”

“Since when?” responded Jujubee. He hadn’t realized the two of them had ever been involved, though hook-ups were certainly common among the community.

“We’ve both been around for a while,” said Mariah, with a knowing shrug, “We’ve both been getting around for a while.”

“Damn, who hasn’t he let fuck him?” joked Jujubee lightly, but slight jealousy was twisting in his stomach. He couldn’t deny Raven’s reputation. Though Jujubee had vaguely hoped he had the other man to himself, at least if their on-set shenanigans were going to continue.

“Out of the old generation? That list is short. From what I’ve heard he and Raja are working through the younger ones, too… just ask baby Naomi.”

Jujubee chuckled and he and Mariah returned to the task at hand.

Jujubee won the fucking challenge!

He couldn’t help letting a few tears escape his eyes as the pride and relief overflowed. It was a lot. And then the damn Untucked was a lot, too. Connecting with Mayhem and Blair was great, but emotional as hell. Nerves and anticipation were creeping up for what was to come next.

He spoke with everyone, changed into his leopard-print catsuit, picked out his damn lipstick and then before Jujubee knew it he was standing on the runway, and Ru was shouting “Ru-veal yourself!”

Jujubee turned, heart in his throat as he stared at the screen and the assassin contained behind it. Jujubee’s prediction from the other week in the bathroom with Raven returned to him, and his heart pounded in anticipation. Was it Raven behind that screen? Production would never be able to wrangle it, there was no way, but-

The screen rolled up and Jujubee saw soft orange velvet ankle-boots and while they were lovely shoes Raven would never wear something like that in a million years. As the screen rose Jujubee forced Raven to leave his mind as he focused on the task at hand, which was going to be beating Monét-motherfucking-X-Change in a lip-sync battle, to a Lizzo song.

All Stars Five was hard, damn it.

Monét gave an amazing performance, and Jujubee did his best but the emotion of the day left him a bit thrown off. Jujubee was disappointed with the loss, he could admit that. Somewhere in back of his mind he knew if he had been lip-syncing against Raven he could have beaten him, and felt ever-so-slightly cheated that his prediction hadn’t come true. Oh well, it was water under the bridge.

Then there was the matter of sending Mariah home which was way more fucking tragic than anyone including Jujubee had been ready for.

“Good luck, girl,” whispered Mariah in Jujubee’s ear as they hugged and he left the runway, “And have fun.”

When Jujubee finally, finally got back to the hotel after a very long day, he walked down the hall to his room and noticed a figure leaning against the wall next to his door, one arm tucked under the opposite elbow, eyes down on his phone.

It was of course, Raven, looking like a tall drink of… chaotic whore. But what else was new? Jujubee approached, quiet, waiting for Raven to notice him.

“Hey bitch!” said Raven when he looked up, a grin his face, “I heard a rumour that you won the challenge today.”

“Mm-hmm,” replied Jujubee, self-satisfied, sliding his hotel key into the slot and then opening the door. The day had been an emotional roller coaster, full of highs and lows. He was dead tired on his feet.

Raven followed him inside without needing to be asked and said, “Congratulations.”

“Thanks, fuck I needed a win.”

“I know, you deserve it. It’s been a long time coming.”

Jujubee tossed his day bag onto the chair, and laughed, “I thought it was gonna be you behind that screen. Bitch I was like ooh shit we just talked about it last week and now I’ve won? Hope he’s ready… ”

Raven put his phone down on the table, “I wasn’t lying to you when I said I’m not an assassin-”

“Jury’s still out on that, I can’t trust anyone.”

Raven laughed, and Jujubee gave him a suspicious side-eye that was mostly for show. Mostly.

“Monét destroyed you.”

“I wouldn’t say ‘destroyed’,” replied Jujubee, mildly insulted. He thought he’d held his own pretty well in the lip-sync, but the disappointment that it wasn’t Raven had thrown him off…

“Kicked your ass, cut you to pieces, sliced and diced,” continued Raven, stepping closer to him.

“Shut up.”

“No, I live to give you a hard time,” said Raven, passing by Jujubee and making his way over to stand next to the end of the bed, “One more bitch down, huh?”

Jujubee took a moment. Raven was posed awkwardly, looking down at the bed with his arms crossed, avoiding eye contact. Jujubee cocked his head to one side, and considered his response. He was pretty damn tired tonight but elation and pride were still tingling under his skin. He had just won, after all. And curiosity was pulling at him.

“Did you get a chance to say goodbye to Mariah?” asked Jujubee, casually, reaching for the water bottle he’d left out on the table.

“Yeah, I saw him afterwards. You know how emotional the eliminations are. We, uh, talked,” said Raven quickly. Jujubee recalled his earlier conversation with Mariah, noted Raven’s avoidance of eye contact and presumed something must have happened. But it seemed odd that Raven wouldn’t brag about it.

“Did he say anything interesting?” asked Jujubee.

“Interesting?”

Jujubee shrugged and took a drink of water. All he could picture was Raven’s mouth around his cock the first week in the supply closet, how good it had felt and whether Raven had done the same thing for Mariah. Jujubee was certain that he had, but there was no rational reason to feel jealous. Both he and Raven were in serious, if open, relationships and fucked all kinds of people on tour and in the ins and outs of their lives. This wasn’t anything special.

“Anyway,” said Jujubee, putting his water bottle down. He decided to be straightforward. “It’s been a long day girl, what do you want from me?

“Oh, well,” Raven practically purred, an absolutely salacious expression appearing on his face that caused a tight thrill to swoop in Jujubee’s stomach, “You won today. I’m here so you can claim your reward.”

Ah, of course. I’ll let you fuck me if you win. Jujubee had assumed Raven meant the crown, not just a main challenge. Perhaps Raven was using it as an excuse, and he was more interested in keeping this thing going between them than Jujubee had realized. What exactly were they to each other?

“I don’t have the energy to top you tonight, I’m exhausted,” said Jujubee, crossing his arms.

Raven’s mouth fell open for a second, and then he closed it, and he shifted, still standing by the bed.

“Okay, but like, I prepped and everything-”

“Wow. Someone’s entitled.”

“Fuck off.”

“I don’t think I will bitch, this is my room.”

Raven let out an annoyed sigh and rolled his eyes. Jujubee felt a kind of calculating power, because there was something so fun about fucking with Raven. It was easy. It was almost as much fun as actually fucking him.

“Sit down,” ordered Jujubee and there was an instant change in the air, and to Raven’s expression. But Raven didn’t obey immediately, he waited, drawing out the moment. And then Raven sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at Jujubee expectantly.

Jujubee approached him. There it was, the thrill of the power exchange that occurred so smoothly between them every time.

“Keep your mouth shut,” said Jujubee. “I don’t want to hear your whining.”

Raven bit his lip and nodded.

“Take your pants off.”

Raven unbuckled his belt and undid his fly and lifted his hips, sliding his jeans to his ankles and taking them off his feet. Jujubee just stood and watched, and then brought his hand up and examined his nails, performing indifference. Raven huffed and removed his underwear as well. He was already hard. Well that was certainly fun, considered Jujubee, allowing an approving smile to appear on his face.

He approached, closing the distance between them and took Raven’s face in his hands. Tilting his head back and kissing him. Raven responded, hands going to Jujubee’s back. Jujubee broke the kiss and stepped back out of his reach. “Don’t touch."

Raven looked disappointed but he didn’t say anything, doing as he was told. A jolt of excitement shot down Jujubee’s spine.

Jujubee decided he might as well cut to the chase.

"Open your legs.”

Raven obeyed. Jujubee stepped froward and dropped to his knees, hands on Raven’s overly-tanned thighs and regarded his cock for a moment. Raven was still, practically holding his breath.

Jujubee dipped his head and took Raven’s cock in his mouth and felt the other man practically shudder at the sensation. Jujubee went to work with his hand and his mouth, and while he didn’t fall over himself to suck cock at any given moment the way Raven did, he’d been doing this a pretty damn long time and he was pretty damn good at it too.

“Mm, fuck… ” murmured Raven.

Jujubee pulled back instantly, digging his nails into Raven’s inner thigh. Raven hissed at the pain, and Jujubee grabbed him by the chin with his opposite hand.

“Did I say you could talk?”

Raven shook his head, a smirk growing on his face. Jujubee held eye contact until Raven looked away and pressed his lips together, pouting, submissive.

“Keep your mouth shut you little slut, and maybe I’ll let you finish.”

Jujubee wasn’t entirely sure where that had come from, because he really hadn’t been planning for things to get this intense. But Raven inhaled sharply, and his cock twitched and he obediently remained silent, so Jujubee returned to his task.

They really shouldn’t let this become a habit, considered Jujubee as he sucked on the head of Raven’s cock and Raven let out a heavy breath. Warm nostalgia rose in Jujubee’s chest.

During All Stars One there had been part of the Untucked that had remained unaired, during the heavily staged Fuck, Marry, Kill conversation. Raven had just infamously and hungrily told Manila, “I would actually fuck you.” But what Raven had said next, in response to Jujubee’s name coming up had been to simply give him a wink and say, “Been there, done that. Marry.”

They hadn’t done anything yet, of course. Raven had been holding off on him since Season Two. It had only made the tension between them higher, much to Jujubee’s frustration. Jujubee’s response to Raven’s name had been, of course, “Fuck. Baby, I’ll make sure you can’t walk the next day.”

And he had.

Jujubee snapped back to the present, because it seemed like Raven was going to come soon. Raven had fallen back to his elbows, his breath shallow, and a flush was beginning to creep up his neck to his face. They really weren’t supposed to be doing this. The stakes were too high and Jujubee wasn’t exactly sure where Raven would fall under the ‘no conjugal visits’ rule, should anyone find out.

But anyway, Raven finished, staying obediently silent and keeping his hands off Jujubee as ordered. There was a certain satisfaction to it. Jujubee efficiently spat into a tissue and tossed it into the wastebasket in one swift movement. Raven lay back on the bed with a lazy hum, rolling onto his side.

Jujubee didn’t have anything better to do so he flopped down next to him, propping himself up on his elbow.

“You can talk now,” said Jujubee dryly.

“Mmm, permission received.”

There was silence for a moment. Jujubee considered whether he wanted to go to the effort of having Raven give him a handjob or something and then decided against it. He was dead tired. Sleep was looking attractive.

“You know you could be getting laid plenty this season, if you want it,” said Raven, seemingly out of the blue.

“What makes you say that?” asked Jujubee.

“That short bitch Cracker wants you, it’s obvious,” stated Raven with feigned nonchalance, rolling onto his back, tucking his arm under his head, “You going to fuck him?”

“Perhaps,” replied Jujubee, delicately touching his collarbone, giving Raven a smirk, “Are you jealous, bitch?”

“No,” said Raven, rolling his eyes, “You can do what and who you want, obviously.”

But Jujubee knew him well enough to read his body language, to see the set of Raven’s jaw and the tension in his shoulders. Raven was such a brat, and he was clearly feeling insecure about being left behind for someone younger and more fun. Oh, sweetie.

“Well, now that I know such a great place to fuck people on set-” began Jujubee.

“Hey, no, that’s my spot!”

“Who else are you possibly fucking at work?” joked Jujubee, a vision of Mariah flashing before him.

“Eh, there was this twink PA I liked but he’s working somewhere else now, so-”

How intriguing. Ah, Jujubee could certainly pursue Cracker if he wanted to, the man wasn’t unattractive, but playing with Raven’s ridiculous emotions would probably be more fun. It wasn’t that Jujubee wanted to actually hurt him by any means, but Raven could be so dramatic and self-centred that there was a certain satisfaction to winding him up.

“So it’s just me?” teased Jujubee, pushing his luck.

“Do you think you’ll fuck Cracker?” responded Raven, dodging the question.

“Hmmm… I could.”

“But will you-”

“I don’t know yet, bitch!” laughed Jujubee, “I need to focus on winning. We probably shouldn’t even be doing this, it’s a distraction.”

“No it isn’t,” said Raven, a sly smile growing across his face, “This is what they call emotional support."

The two of them laughed and Jujubee rolled his eyes, "You’re so stupid.”

“You like it.”

“To a point.”

Raven shrugged and then yawned, “Well I better go, I have to drive home.” He looked down at himself, amused, “Ha. I’m still naked.”

Jujubee admired Raven’s ass as he got up and pulled his underwear and jeans back on, heaving a deep sigh.

“Bye bitch,” called Jujubee, as Raven got his phone and left with a casual wave of his hand. The door shut behind him, and Jujubee blinked, the exhaustion of the day crashing back down on him. He got up and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Tomorrow would be another challenge, and in all likelihood another twist. But whatever, Jujubee was ready. Bring it on, All Stars Five.

#rpdr fanfiction #rujubee #raven #jujubee #smut #canon compliant #nostalgia #dartmouth420 #tw dom/sub dynamics #tw degradation #submission #s2 #as5 #on set fic

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cryptic-michael · 4 years

Text

In The Heights from... In The Heights

[USNAVI:] Lights up on Washington Heights, up at the break of day I wake up and I got this little punk I gotta chase away Pop the grate at the crack of dawn, sing While I wipe down the awning Hey y'all, good morning

[PIRAGUA GUY:] Ice cold piragua! Parcha. China. Cherry. Strawberry. And just for today, I got mamey!

[USNAVI:] Oye, piragüero, como estas?

[PIRAGUA GUY:] Como siempre, Señor Usnavi.

[USNAVI:] I am Usnavi and you prob'ly never heard my name Reports of my fame are greatly exaggerated Exacerbated by the fact that my syntax Is highly complicated ‘cuz I emigrated From the single greatest little place in the Caribbean: Dominican Republic! I love it!

Jesus, I’m jealous of it And beyond that Ever since my folks passed on I haven’t gone back Goddamn, I gotta get on that…

Fo! The milk has gone bad, hold up just a second Why is everything in this fridge warm and tepid? I better step it up and fight the heat 'Cuz I’m not makin’ any profit if the coffee isn’t light and sweet!

[ABUELA CLAUDIA:] Ooo-oo!

[USNAVI:] Abuela, my fridge broke. I got café but no “con leche.”

[ABUELA CLAUDIA:] Try my mother’s old recipe: one can of condensed milk.

[USNAVI:] Nice.

[ABUELA CLAUDIA:] Ay! Paciencia y fe…

[USNAVI:] That was Abuela, she’s not really my “abuela,” But she practically raised me, this corner is her escuela Now, you’re prob'ly thinkin: “I’m up shit’s creek! I’ve never been north of Ninety-Sixth Street!” Well, you must take the A Train Even farther than Harlem to northern Manhattan and maintain Get off at 181st, and take the escalator I hope you’re writing this down, I’m gonna test ya later

I’m getting tested; times are tough on this bodega Two months ago somebody bought Ortega’s Our neighbors started packin’ up and pickin’ up And ever since the rents went up It’s gotten mad expensive But we live with just enough

[COMMUNITY:] In the heights I flip the lights and start my day There are fights

[WOMEN:] And endless debts

[MEN:] And bills to pay

[COMMUNITY:] In the Heights I can’t survive without café

[USNAVI:] I serve café

[COMMUNITY:] 'Cuz tonight seems like a million years away! En Washington…

[USNAVI:] Next up to bat, the Rosarios They run the cab company, They struggle in the barrio See, their daughter Nina’s off at college, tuition is mad steep So they can’t sleep Everything they get is mad cheap!

[KEVIN:] Good morning, Usnavi!

[USNAVI:] Pan caliente, café con leche!

[KEVIN:] Put twenty dollars on today’s lottery

[CAMILA:] One ticket, that’s it!

[KEVIN:] Hey! A man’s gotta dream…

[CAMILA:] Don’t mind him, he’s all excited 'Cuz Nina flew in at 3 A.M. last night!

[KEVIN:] Don’t look at me, this one’s been cooking all week!

[CAMILA:] Usnavi, come over for dinner

[KEVIN/CAMILA:] There’s plenty to eat!

[DANIELA:] So then Yesenia walks in the room…

[CARLA:] Aha..

[DANIELA:] She smells sex and cheap perfume!

[CARLA:] Uh oh..

[DANIELA:] It smells like one of those trees That you hang from the rear view!

[CARLA:] Ah, no!

[DANIELA:] It’s true! She screams, “Who’s in there with you, Julio?” Grabs a bat and kicks in the door He’s in bed with José from the liquor store!

[CARLA/USNAVI:] No me diga!

[USNAVI:] Daniela and Carla, from the salon.

[DANIELA/CARLA:] Thanks, Usnavi!

[USNAVI:] Sonny, you’re late.

[SONNY:] Chillax, you know you love me.

[USNAVI:] Me and my cousin runnin’ just another dime-a-dozen Mom-and-pop stop-and-shop And, oh my god, it’s gotten Too darn hot, like my man Cole Porter said People come through for a few cold waters and A lottery ticket, just a part of the routine Everybody’s got a job, everybody’s got a dream They gossip, as I sip my coffee and smirk The first stop as people hop to work Bust it… I’m like:

“One dollar, two dollars, one fifty, one sixty-nine. I got it. You want a box of condoms? What kind? That’s two quarters. Two quarter waters. The New York Times. You need a bag for that? The tax is added.” Once you get some practice at it You do rapid mathematics automatically Sellin’ maxipads, fuzzy dice for taxicabs and practically Everybody’s stressed, yes! But they press through the mess, Bounce checks and wonder what’s next

[COMMUNITY 1:] In the heights I buy my coffee and I go

Set my sights On only what I need to know

In the heights Money is tight But even so

[COMMUNITY 2:] In the heights

I buy my coffee and… Set my sights

What I need to know In the heights Money is tight

Even so

[COMMUNITY:] When the lights go down I blast my radio!

[BENNY:] You ain’t got no skills!

[USNAVI:] Benny!

[BENNY:] Yo, lemme get a..

[USNAVI:] Milky Way

[BENNY:] Yeah, lemme also get a..

[USNAVI:] Daily News..

[BENNY:] And a..

[USNAVI:] Post..

[BENNY:] And most important, my..

[USNAVI:] Boss’ second coffee, one cream..

[BOTH:] Five sugars

[BENNY:] I’m the number one earner..

[USNAVI/SONNY:] What?!

[BENNY:] The fastest learner..

[USNAVI/SONNY:] What?!

[BENNY:] My boss can’t keep me on the damn back burner!

[USNAVI:] Yes, he can

[BENNY:] I’m makin’ moves, I’m makin’ deals, but guess what?

[USNAVI:] What?

[BENNY/SONNY:] You still ain’t got no skills!

[USNAVI:] Hardee-har

[BENNY:] Yo, Vanessa show up yet?

[USNAVI:] Shut up!

[BENNY:] Hey little homie, don’t get so upset

[USNAVI:] Man…

[BENNY:] Tell Vanessa how you feel, buy the girl a meal On the real, or you ain’t got no skills

[VANESSA:] Nooo! No no nooo! No no nooo, no-no-no! Nooo, no-no-no! No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no-no! Mr. Johnson, I got the security deposit It’s locked in a box in the bottom of my closet It’s not reflected in my bank statement But I’ve been savin’ to make a down payment and pay rent No, no, I won’t let you down…

[BENNY:] Yo, here’s your chance; ask her out right now!

[VANESSA:] I’ll see you later, we can look at that lease!

[BENNY:] Do somethin’, make your move, don’t freeze!

[USNAVI:] Hey!

[VANESSA:] You owe me a bottle of cold champagne!

[USNAVI:] Are you moving?

[VANESSA:] Just a little credit check and I’m on that downtown train!

[USNAVI:] Well, your coffee’s on the house

[VANESSA:] Okay!

[BENNY:] Usnavi, ask her out

[SONNY:] No way!

[VANESSA:] I’ll see you later, so…

[BENNY:] Oooh… Smooth operator, aw, damn, there she goes! Yo, bro, take five, take a walk outside! You look exhausted, lost, don’t let life slide! The whole hood is struggling, times are tight And you’re stuck to this corner like a streetlight!

[USNAVI:] Yeah, I’m a streetlight, chokin’ on the heat The world spins around while I’m frozen to my seat The people that I know all keep on rollin’ down the street But every day is different so I’m switchin’ up the beat

'Cuz my parents came with nothing, they got a little more And sure, we’re poor, but yo, at least we got the store And it’s all about the legacy they left with me, it’s destiny And one day I’ll be on a beach with Sonny writing checks to me

[COMMUNITY:] In the Heights, I hang my flag up on display

[USNAVI:] We came to work and to live and we got a lot in common

[COMMUNITY:] It reminds me that I came from miles away

[USNAVI:] D.R., P.R., we are not stoppin’

[COMMUNITY:] In the Heights Ooh..

In the Heights I’ve got today!

[ABUELA CLAUDIA:] Every day, paciencia y fe

[USNAVI:] Until the day we go from poverty to stock options

[USNAVI:] And today’s all we got, so we cannot stop This is our block!

[COMMUNITY:] In the Heights I hang my flag up on display

[PIRAGUA GUY:] Lo le lo le lo lai lai lo le!

[COMMUNITY:] It reminds me that I came from miles away

[USNAVI/PIRAGUA GUY/NEIGHBORS:] My family came from miles away…

[COMMUNITY:] In the Heights It gets more expensive every day

[USNAVI/PIRAGUA GUY/WOMEN/MEN:] Every day

[COMMUNITY:] And tonight is so far away…

[USNAVI:] But as for mañana, mi pana Ya gotta just keep watchin’

[USNAVI:] You’ll see the late nights You’ll taste beans and rice The syrups and shaved ice I ain’t gonna say it twice

[BENNY/GRAFFITI PETE/MEN:] Late nights! Beans and rice! Shaved ice! Say it twice!

[COMMUNITY:] In the Heights! In the Heights! In the Heights!

[USNAVI:] So turn up the stage lights We’re takin’ a flight To a couple of days in the life of what it’s like

[ALL:] In Washington Heights!

(sorry this is so long)

#I had to look this song up #But it's pretty good #submission

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imaginemysimsstories · 3 years

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Unexpected Can Be Beautiful

Presley had only had a couple hours of sleep when suddenly she was awoken bright and early by the natural light that peeled through her tall windows. She hadn't gotten much sleep last night. When she couldn't rest she went down to her kitchen and unpacked almost the entire kitchen. She assumed it was sleeping in a new house that was keeping her up last night. She considered it a win though because she got most of the kitchen done. It's the little things, she thought. Presley started to feel a bit of anxiety about getting the house put together before the house warming party next weekend.

Presley stretched and pulled herself out of the warm cocoon that she had formed within her blankets. She was determined to be productive today. Presley did her best to choke her anxiety down about finishing this house. She decided she would make an affirmation that today was going to be productive and good. Today will be GREAT and I will be productive with my tasks!, she exclaimed. Presley's therapist, Lukas, whom she saw three times a week, was pushing her to make affirmations each day when she arises. Lukas swore by this technique. He states, "One affirmation a day keeps the therapist away." Whatever that means, thought Presley as she rolled her eyes. Lukas annoyed her sometimes with his silly little quotes, but she felt heard by Lukas. Being heard made Presley feel cared for.

Presley used the restroom and made her way to the kitchen. Eggs and toast sounded delightful. She pulled the eggs from the fridge and the bread from the bread box, and began to cook. She was excited to cook on these custom stove ranges. Her friend, Clementine, recommended them. Clementine was married to a wealthy broker. Clementine was always remodeling her home with the newest appliances. That bitch has too much money for her own good, thought Presley, but she does have the best recommendations.

As Presley made her way to her bar to eat her breakfast. It dawned on her that she hated the design on the kitchen walls. What was I thinking when I picked this design?, she thought. She immediately grabbed her phone and called Katie. Katie answered excitedly. She wanted to hear all the details about Presley's first night at the new house. Presley explained to Katie that it was a rough evening adjusting to her new surroundings. "Katie, can you please have the painters come and paint the solid color I picked for the kitchen instead of this dreadful print?" "I'll get them right over!", Kate advised. Presley finished her breakfast and headed back upstairs and changed her clothes and her wig. She had a new short blue wig that she was dying to try.

Moments later, Presley's security system alerted her that she had a visitor. To her surprise, Katie was standing on the lawn, as well as the maid who was arriving for her first day of service. Presley became annoyed the maid service sent someone to clean today when she specifically told Katie to schedule it days ahead. Presley opened the door and greeted the maid. "Hey! I'm Presley, the owner of this home." "My assistant was supposed to advise your company not to come for a few more days." She asked the cleaner for her name. Annie Lynn Caper, she replied confused. "Annie, what is your SimoApp?, Presley asked politely. "I'm going to send your some funds for your trouble." AnnieLynn42, Annie replied. Presley pressed a few buttons and sent Annie a tip for her trouble. I'll see you bright and early on Monday Annie, Presley declared.

Presley feeling overwhelmed felt relief wash over her when she saw her favorite person, Katie. Kate made her feel safe, taken care of. That was one of the qualities that Presley loved most about Katie. Katie made her way up the stairs and hugged Presley. "Girl tell me everything!", Katie screeched. Presley's eyes filled with tears. "I didn't realize how hard and overwhelming this move would be, Kate." Kate embraced Presley once again. "Remember what Lukas explained to you, this is all temporary.", Kate reassured. Katie felt relieved that she was there to help her friend get through this overwhelming time.

"I was going to wait until after the house warming party to ask you this, but I just can't wait any longer.", Presley excitedly stated. "This house is entirely too large for just one person, would you want to take the entire second level?!" She explained to Kate that she had full creative control over her space, all covered on her dollar. "I feel in debt to you for your hard work and PR, Kate." "You've shaped so much of my career for good, and I want to do this for you." Katie was surprised by this revelation. Katie quickly said yes to Presley's offer. "I'M MOVING TO OASIS SPRINGS Y'ALL!", Katie yelled in excitement.

Presley and Katie shared their excitement together for a few more moments then they retired to their rooms to do some unpacking. Presley was already hours behind schedule. She was determined to get her room done today. Sleeping in a cluttered room isn't good for the mind, she thought. When she made it upstairs to her room, she was delighted by the greenish-teal paint on the walls. I should pinch myself, she surprisingly thought.

After a few hours, Presley emerged into Katie's room. Let's order some pizza, I'm famished. Katie agreed, it was time for some dinner after all their hard work unpacking the house. Katie ordered their pizza on the Don's Pizza Palace app. The app gave a delivery time of an hour. Katie decided to go downstairs and set up the table for dinner. Presley decided to call it a night and take a quick bath before dinner was delivered.

Presley fell into the grey stone tub, hot water moving up her body. Her muscles needed this after all the lifting and hanging. She closed her eyes and quieted her thoughts. The steam filling her nose, she felt a heaviness in her breathing as the warmness soothed her. A warm breeze blew into the bathroom from the arched open doorway, the sheer white curtains following the direction of the breeze. Presley was reaping the benefits of her hard work and the pay off felt intoxicating. A few moments later she heard a knock at the bathroom door. Kate was letting her know the pizza had arrived. "Thank you for letting me know!", said Presley. "I'll be down in a few moments." Presley bathed herself and dried off quickly.

She was starving and ready to devour pizza with Kate. Presley ran down the steps and met Kate on the back porch. The smell of the pizza filled Presley's nose, her stomach growling, she hopped onto the chair. "This smells so delicious, get in my belly," said Presley! Kate giggled at Presley. She was always the comic relief in the room.

They enjoyed their dinner as they chatted about the future. Kate reminded Presley there was a formal dinner for MatchStick's new game release this weekend. Presley replied excitedly, "I am so excited for that event girl, I've been waiting so long to play Lost Avenue PlotTwist2!" Katie quickly grabbed her phone and RSVP'd to the event. Katie was scrolling through her calendar checking events and commitments. All of a sudden her phone notification went off. Presley looked at Katie as she began to have an annoyed look upon her face. "What's wrong Katie?" "It's just this guy that I've been seeing for a while," Katie said. "He's so kind and has been extremely consistent in showing me effort," she explained. "I'm just not feeling it," Katie confessed.

Presley listened to Katie as she expressed her predicament. "Kate the only thing you can do in this situation is communicate," she said lovingly. "You are strong and confident, use those tools," "Lukas says we should always confront issues head on," Presley said proudly. Presley felt proud that she felt emotionally knowledgeable for a moment. "If he's any kind of man, he will understand that you aren't ready for a relationship with him right now," Presley said convincingly. Presley's advice soothed Katie and they finished their dinner after a bit more conversation.

After dinner Katie and Presley made their way to the studio. Presley needed to make an appearance on her channel tonight. Kate knew if she didn't follows would drop exponentially. Presley logged onto VideoStitch, immediately viewers started pouring in. They were very interested to see how Presley's move went. Viewers expressed their excitement that she was back on Videostitch. She explained that the move went well, but had stressed her out. To much of their disappointment tonight's cast wasn't going to be centered around any games. Presley lovingly told her fans that her next stream would be two nights away, as she was planning an eight hour stream. "Keep a look out this weekend for my stream, I'm going to be debuting MatchStick's new release," she exclaimed! During the stream, Kate tiptoed out. She was exhausted from the day. She went to her room, changed her clothes and hopped into bed. Presley logged off from Videostitch an hour later and changed into her pajamas.

Today was productive in the most unexpected ways, Presley thought. As she laid in bed and thought about all the things she was thankful for, it dawned on her that she loved doing life with Katie. Whatever that meant at the moment. She considered doing something nice for Katie to thank her for her support. I'll have to think more about that, Presley pondered. She drifted off to sleep after some thought about gifts.

#simsstories #sims 4 edit #sims 4 challenge #sims 4 cc #simstagram #sims 4 #sims 4 story #sims 4 gameplay

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dailyaudiobible · 3 years

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04/03/2021 DAB Transcript

Deuteronomy 23:1-25:19, Luke 10:13-37, Psalms 75:1-10, Proverbs 12:12-14

Today is the 3rd day of April welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is a joy to be here with you as we bring to a close of another week together, even as we begin a new month. It seems there’s like transitions happening all the time. And of course, we find ourselves right in the middle of a transition. This is Holy Saturday, and this is between Good Friday and Easter, right? So, this tension in between which is where we live so much of our lives. But this is this is a weird day, this day in between. It's…it's supposed to be, because Jesus, if we’re commemorating and observing this than we would understand that Jesus died yesterday. Like we observed and commemorated His death, which means that today He's dead. His body is lying in a tomb and it's been a lot of hours now. And even though His body was ravaged and what happened to him unthinkable He would've been cold. His body would’ve been cold lying in the tomb. And that…we don't want to think about any of that. It seems disruptive and uncomfortable because it's uncomfortable, because it's supposed to be. We sit in this tension today with just a ray of hope. And thankfully we know tomorrow comes and we know what that represents, and we know that we will rejoice. But if we’re putting ourselves back into the story than we don't know that yet. And that's the tension that we embrace as we move through this, the most important season, toward the most important day. If there's no Easter than we are in the wrong place at the wrong time doing the wrong thing. But thankfully that's not the case. And where in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing. And, so, let's reach out our foot and move forward and take the next step in the Scriptures as we continue our journey. We’re reading from the Contemporary English Version this week, which is today. Deuteronomy chapters 23, 24, and 25.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for another week in Your word, another week to allow Your Spirit to plant seeds in the soil of our hearts, another week to tend the garden of our hearts so that we are good soil, another week to look forward to the harvest. We also find ourselves here in the in between, in between death and life really. And this is what we’re contemplating today. We have sat with our sin through a season. We have observed and contemplated the cost and we are still in that tension hoping, hoping that there's some way. Even though we know how this story goes, even…even though we know there is a way and the truth and a life and that is You, Jesus, as we engage with the story that brought us to this moment, this is where we find ourselves in the in between, in the tension, in the place where we have to hope beyond hope. And, so, Holy Spirit come into that as we prepare our hearts for great joy in the morning. We pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hey guys it's Sparky from Texas and first of all I just wanted to tell everybody thank you for the prayers and you don't know how much it means when…when you're having a rough week and…and you hear prayers from Georgia and…and all over and it just…it means a lot. And I also wanted to tell the lady that saying I love you Lord that it broke me down in tears and on a job site standing on a ladder hearing that. I had a grandma who's passed away that when I was young would send me to church camp every summer and we were church Christ. And…and there were no instruments and hearing you sing that and from your heart I just…I wanted to let you know that he loves you too. I hope that you feel that because you made me feel something that…that's deep and a deep kind of love and He loves you very much. And I just want you to know that that was the most beautiful heartfelt…heartfelt thing that I've heard in a long time. And I just wanted to give you praise because your Father is very proud of you. And thank you again for your prayers, And I’m praying for all of you guys. Every time I hear a prayer request, I'm uttering prayer myself and to God. There going up and this is a real thing. And everybody be well and I hope you have a good rest of the week.

Hi this is Victoria Soldier I'm calling to wanted to call and pray for some of the DABbers. I want to thank all of my precious sisters and brothers for praying for my…for my sister-in-law and my nephew. It's her only son and she's in the hospital and…and he wound up in jail and she's trying to get to him but she's not able to get out and I just thank you all so very much for praying with me on this. And we just believe in…we just believe in great miracles. I also called to pray from Micah and his 16-year-old girlfriend that’s about to have the baby and God come in and bless like gangbusters and…and work a wonderful miracle in their life. I want to also pray for the…the young man who's in the military and…and is having a lot of challenges and he needs some direction. And I'm just praying that God would give him the direction and would speak to his spirit. I want to pray for Joseph from Australia. I want to pray for…for them for the deliverance in their household and I want to…I want to pray for…for…for the wife and…and the children that is going through the alcohol problem, the children with the alcohol problem and the single mother that is having challenges with the…with the kids. I want to also pray for the young woman who's suffering anxiety and depression. I want God to work a miracle there and I want to thank Duncan my piano man for his prayers also and I want to pray for him to continue to get those…those…those piano ones…ones that he can…those piano ones so that…that he can reach out to people and God can bless him and continue to strengthen him in the loss of his precious wife. Gracious Father we just praise...

Good morning family this is Delta Alpha Foxtrot calling from the central Texas front. I’m calling for urgent prayer for my friend Victor. He's been in the hospital the whole month of March with covid and was just intubated in…on Sunday. And, so, I just want to ask everyone lift him up, just pray for restoration and healing in his lungs, get rid of that pneumonia and just get rid of that covid from…from his body. I thank you all for praying. Want to shout to all my old friends out there, all the guys from wild at heart, to Blind Tony just everyone that's been praying through the years. Love you all. Love you Brian. Thank you for all that you do. This is Delta Alpha Foxtrot calling from the Central Texas front.

Hey family this is Sparky from Texas I just wanted to give you guys an update and a praise report. I just wanted to thank you all so much for prayers. And I…I'm sorry that I don't have to get names. Most of the time I'm working, and I have a headphone in my ear, but it is a big deal, and this is a very powerful family and I appreciate it. And like clockwork, I had…I had been suffering from depression and there was a lot to it and I had taken a test and I had very low testosterone and insanely low and as my wife and I got to looking through it, it's…if you're a male there's a lot of depression a lot of tired exhaustion, moods. And, so, I've got a doctor’s appointment scheduled for that and I just love all you guys. I'm praying for all of y'all and I just wanted you…wanted you all to know how powerful it is when that rings through and just I pray with every one of you everyone that goes up and I love you guys. Paula, I did pause it. I got your email. And to the ladies that have been praying for me, thank you. It means so much and I love you all and God loves you and God bless. Thank you for praying for me and my family.

Hi Daily Audio Bible my name is Mattie this is my first time calling but I've been on the Prayer Wall and I just appreciate the community here. I just need prayer and community. I am in my final semester of grad school and…and it's been tough because grad school is tough but also because we're in a pandemic and the community and belonging and just kindred spirits that I found in my classes, we aren't connecting the same way, obviously not being able to be together. And I'm not without hope and I'm not without motivation and desire to do a good job and to finish well but also, I am exhausted, and I struggle with depression and…and I'm just not doing how I normally am. And I feel like my normal support group, my normal friends, are in a way kind of doing their own things. So, I really, really, really would love prayer for that and my ability to connect with the Lord in this season of craziness. I recently started a new job and all of it together I just feel like I'm…I'm not going to finish which I am but it's a lot. So, I would appreciate your prayer. Thank you so much I appreciate you Daily Audio Bible family.

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filipinosmakinghistory · 7 years

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Meet Josh Abalos a Super Senior at UMass Boston! He is a Filipino/Filipino-American who grew up in a setting that emphasized the Filipino culture. Today is his birthday! What do you think is the most common misconception about being Filipino? That we're Mexican or that we speak Spanish? That the United States DIDN'T straight up colonize us after ownership of the archipelago was transferred from the Spanish to the US after the Spanish-American war? That we're dirtier or less civilized than northern/paler Asians? How did you become aware of your cultural identity? I grew up for my first 10 years around New York and New Jersey where there were huge Filipino communities. My parents raised me with the customs that they carried over when they moved to America. They just acted like themselves around me and I absorbed that. So I knew from an early age that I was Filipino but when I moved to Massachusetts at age 10 where there were markedly less Filipinos, and I became mostly surrounded by white people, I started noticing how the color of my skin, and the culture and behavior that I brought with me, stood out from everyone else. The lack of diversity in the new town didn't help either. How much do you identify with the history of the Philippines? Lapu Lapu from the Visayas was pretty badass. He killed Magellan, that cocky Portuguese bastard, and defended the Philippines before the archipelago even had a name. There's also the legend of Urduja (pronounced: urd-oo-ya) from the region of Pangasinan, where my dad's side comes from, though scholars are divided on whether or not she was ever real (I'd bet she was real after some internet research). Anyway she was a fabled warrior princess in the pre-colonial archipelago, who led a band of female warriors and defended her kingdom from foreign invaders as well. Legend has it that she would not marry any man who could not best her in combat. Thus she died a virgin. Wowza. What a woman. Check out the veracity of her story for yourself. http://www.urduja.com/princess.html. Then there's Jose Rizal, who is widely regarded as a polymath, is very respectable in my books for that very trait (also v v v respectable for igniting the revolution just through his writings). He was also a nerd who got around with the ladies (20 different girlfriends), so while I don't necessarily promote promiscuity and especially not infidelity, let it be said you can totally be an over-the-top nerd and still get laid (and inspire a country). Wish I knew that in middle school lol. Otherwise, in regards to my family's history: my lolo (grandfather) on my dad's side fought in World War II. He was at Bataan. He hated the Japanese, and with good reason. They made him and the other 80,000 POWs march some 60 odd miles malnourished and abused. They would torture, physically, and mentally attack them while marching. He watched his buddies die right next to him from exhaustion, starvation, and bullets to the back of their heads. Whenever a POW couldn't keep up, they were either shot or just left in a ditch to wither. He almost didn't make it, and I might never have been born. Bittersweetly, he survived only to die of cancer right around the time I was born. I wish I had at least met him. My dad recalls these memories of his to me. He tells me that lolo always used to hate when dad did Japanese stuff. Lolo never wanted his son to drive Japanese cars, eat sushi, or to learn karate (all of which he did anyway; the damned rascal was a 2nd degree blackbelt in wado karate). Given all that, sometimes I wonder what my lolo would think of me if he were here today. I watch a lot of anime, I pretend to (ironically) act japanese sometimes, but you could say I look like a total weeb. It's weird to think about. I don't hate Japanese people, although I think some of the them are weird (have you heard of waifu body pillows? jeez). Would my grandfather disown me? Would he understand what it is to be a kid in this day and age? Is religion important in your household? Describe a situation illustrating why or why not. It's pretty important. My parents have poon amongst which is the Santo Niño. We have a prayer group which rotates amongst different families' houses where we pray the rosary together and praise Jesus and stuff but I'm not so much into it anymore considering I don't align myself with the Catholic Church anymore. Have you ever struggled with your racial/ethnic/cultural identity? Describe this struggle and how you overcame it. Yea people called me a twinkie or a banana all the time because I acted so white. Yellow on the outside, white on the inside. I wanted to believe I was just like all the other kids in middle and high school but nothing could be farther from the truth. Oh sure, I learned how to fit in reaaal good but that doesn't mean I still wouldn't get sly remarks like "oh I didn't know you would be into punk rock" or the not so subtle "I thought you were Mexican!" and "Oh you're from there? You must eat dog then". Everywhere I go, I'm reminded that I don't exactly belong. You don't see a lot of Asians at punk shows, especially around here. Kids at concerts assume I don't know the scene, I don't know the bands, that I'm just a casual show goer, or worse a "poseur". At the kind of shows I go to, three is a crowd in terms of Asians being there.

Sure Asians are supposedly the "model minority" but I'm brown. I'm a "dirty Asian". On top of which, I have a full bushy beard and moustache these days. I don't look so innocent anymore (I try to avoid cops and follow the law). Filipinos don't even recognize me as Filipino at first glance anymore. I was in a crowd of Filipinos from my parents' generation and they all spoke English around me, but as soon as I stepped away, they felt comfortable enough to speak Tagalog. I had to tell them I was fully Filipino and that my parents grew up in the home country. What's worse is I don't speak any Filipino language so even when they know I'm full-blooded Filipino, the older generation sees me as less because I can't speak Tagalog. I was at a Filipino birthday party over the summer, where this tita (auntie) overheard that the birthday girl's new boyfriend barely understands a single lick of Tagalog. Soon as she heard that flew off the handle shouting at no one in particular "ANONG PROBLEMA NG MGA KABATAAN NGAYON. THESE KIDS SHOULD UNDERSTAND TAGALOG. THEY SHOULD BE ASHAMED. THEIR PARENTS SHOULD BE ASHAMED. SUSMARYOSEP" and I'm just here like lmao chill out tita, sorry we grew up in America.

But yea there is that slight pang of regret that I can't connect with my people on that level. Nowadays I'm President of my Filipino club, Hoy! Pinoy!, at UMass Boston. Second Term whoop whoop. I try to re-acculturate myself with the Philippines and try to provide the opportunity for members of my club to do the same. I helped found the club specifically to find my roots again, and be around people who were like-minded.

And I recommend to anyone and everyone who is disconnected from their family's original home land, to join a cultural group, such as a college Filipino club in my case, so you can be surrounded by people who work together to find yourselves and your identity in something other than just the fads, memes, and trivialities of American life. So you can understand the struggle your ancestors, your family, have gone through to get you where you are now. So you can understand why you face the hardship you're facing now from society around you. If your family isn't perfect, it's probably in large part from the /STRESS/ of they and their ancestor's way of life being uprooted and changed so many times and so often, that life has been just chaos, whether if it's the Spanish colonizing us, the Japanese abusing us, the white Americans imperializing us, or just the immigrant experience as a whole. And if your group isn't asking the hard questions, like where y'all came from, how will you know where to go next? You cannot grow as a person or even take a step forward if you don't have a place from where you began. You can't build a house without a foundation. As humans, we build narratives, personal stories, which we use to identify ourselves, and figure out who we are and what we want. Take psych 101 and you'll hear this. Take Asian American Psychology and you might find a group of students who would help you understand who you are as both a Filipino and an American. Who cares if it's not a course that teaches you how to make money or where you learn a marketable skill? You'll be unhappy in life if you're rich and successful but don't know who you are and what you truly want. Ask me how many people I grew up with that are like that now.

If you really, truly know who you are as a person, that can never be taken away from you, no matter how many times you're told who you are by dominant ethnic group who have never experienced what it's like to not be white, what to want by advertisements and product reviews that just want your money, or what to change so you can try to be just like them and not so foreign and scary. You're an individual which is both scary and exciting. But you're also human, and you need to be loved, regardless.

As Uncle Iroh once said: "It's time for you to look *inward* and begin asking yourself the big questions. Who are you and what do *you* want?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYkuuu9u3EI What are you most proud of as a Filipino/Filipino-American? FOOD. UGH BUT WHY DOES IT TAKE SO LONG TO COOK?? . . . . . . . . ANS: BC IT'S MADE WITH LOVE. What challenges did you face, growing up as a Filipino/Filipino-American?For those not from the Philippines, have you ever been to there? Tell a story or favorite memory from you visit! I was probably 7 years old when I visited my extended family in the province of Pangasinan, in Lingayen. Pros: Watched Darna on repeat Cons: Almost drowned in the monsoon. Great times. Told my parents "When are we getting off this wretched Island already!!! 😭" Describe a significant event in your life that shaped who you are today Seeing other Filipinos (-Canadian) my age underage drink and "sin" (lol) when I was still a goody two-shoes in high school. Didn't help that I had a crush on this one girl who I looked up to. I started drinking in college. What do you feel most grateful for your life? Being born into a family that is economically advantaged. I mean, look, we live in Massachusetts, I go to one of the best public university systems in the nation, and I'm not going to be up to my neck in loans when I graduate. That's more than most can say. Tell us about someone who has had a big influence in your life? Ghandi. Civil Disobedience. Pacifism. Anti-colonialism. What a guy. What traditions have been passed down your family? Eat with your hands. Don't leave the bathroom door open. Describe your immediate/household family. Mom, Dad, and brother who is a sophomore in high school. Is having a knowledge of family history important? Why or why not? Yes. Maybe you should know if you have a family history of trauma or diabetes so you can get diagnosed earlier in life to see if you need to change your lifestyle to prevent life-threatening situations or lasting damage to your mind and body. Maybe. What does it mean to be successful in your family? Be a lawyer or a doctor. Be rich. Have kids. Whoopee

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5hfanfiction · 7 years

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our broken white rose (4/?) ⇾ camren

a/n: hey guys, i’m really sorry for not updating as quickly. idk if y'all wanna know about my life story but since some of you guys messaged me today and two days ago, heres whats been going on. i briefly explained to those of you who asked but in case you’re interested in knowing more, keep reading this lil authors note or just skip ahead to the story if you genuinely don’t give a fuck. lmao.

for a few months now, my fiancée and i have been trying to get pregnant. by her and i, i mean her, lol. she’s a bit older than me (over 21) but i’m 20. anyways, we’ve been pushing really hard for a baby because something we’ve been talking about since the early stages of our relationship is starting a family and having kids. but you know, clearly as two females, we can’t reproduce together. so recently we’ve been doing lots of research and looking for a sperm donor from a sperm bank.

she’ll be the one carrying because i am not of age and quite frankly me and pain do not mix therefore child birth and i do not like each other, lmao. but since she’ll be the one carrying, shes been really adamant on finding a donor who looks like me. i don’t really care to be honest, just the thought of someone i love bringing in beautiful new life to be apart of our own warms my heart but you know, she really cares about that. now my fiancée is biracial and i am brazilian.

honestly speaking from what we’ve seen, the closest donor we’ve seen that looks like me is a white man. and theres nothing wrong with that. i mean, its really hard to come across a brazilian man who’s willing to give his sperm away to help make babies who’d have my features. pale ass skin, blue ass eyes and dark ass hair. and honestly we’ve been fighting a lot because of that one thing. all i care about is finally getting to start my family with the woman of my fucking dreams and thats basically being put on hiatus because she wants someone who looks like me and exactly me. and i can get why she really wants that and all, but eh… whatever.

i just thought i’d share my reason for not writing. shes having several exams and back to back doctors appointments, all which i attend, then on top of that looking for donors that she approves of, getting school work done because i’m still a student but she’s not. baby girl is on her way to being a teacher but thats basically all. i’ve literally only had time to read on my phone because i’d be too exhausted to pick up my laptop and start writing.

i really hope things speed up soon because this process is already proving to be extremely tiring but as long as i get to create a family with her and live out our forever lives, i’m all in it. pun intended.

***

“We are live here on Express News Daily with former fifth harmony member, singer, dancer and model, Normani Kordei,” Dianna McGee introduced as the audience roared in a fit of cheers. Dianna faced the dark haired girl with a wide grin. “We’ve been trying for ages to get you here on this show. It’s truly an honor.”

Smiling bashfully, Normani shook her head. “No, it’s my pleasure. When my team told me I’d be coming on here today just a few weeks ago, I nearly lost my shit. Excuse my language,” she laughed.

Dianna threw her head back and let out an obnoxiously loud but contagious laugh. “So tell us where you’ve been lately Normani. I’m sure fans are curious to know what’s to come soon.”

Getting giddy, an adorable smile took over Normani’s face as she edged further off her seat. “Well, I’m working on a new album with my literal idol, Beyoncé,” she shared. The audience erupted in cheers and claps as everyone congratulated her. “I have to pinch myself every morning to make sure it’s not some big crazy dream I’ll just wake up from. I’ve looked up to her since way before I came into the industry and to know that I’ll be working on a whole album with her is just… insane. I’m at a loss for words.”

Her cheeks were slightly hurting from how hard she was smiling, but she couldn’t help it. She was so excited to finally share the news with the public. As the interview went on, Dianna somehow brought the topic of gay rights into the mix questioning Normani’s thoughts on it and bringing up former bandmate, Lauren Jauregui.

“So Normani, it’s been pretty evident that you’re extremely active in the LGBT community,” she started, Normani nodding along as the audience clapped. “A while back while you were in the hit girl group - Fifth Harmony - you had one of your band members come out as bisexual then a few years later announce that she’d finally found herself and was simply hiding behind that label to feel less odd toward society, eventually coming on out and saying she was a lesbian.”

Normani nodded, swallowing harshly at the mention of Lauren. Someone she hasn’t spoken to in quite awhile but still found it in her to smile nonetheless. “Yes, Lauren. I think she was really the one to like, you know wake us all up about gay rights and LGBT rights as a whole while in Fifth Harmony. I always grew up knowing that it was nobody’s place but God’s to judge and I always stuck by that. If you love a woman and you’re a woman, that’s amazing. God made you who you are for a reason, you know? If you were a man who loves another man, that’s amazing too. If you were born male but really are female, phenomenal,” Dianna gave Normani her full attention along with the audience as everyone stopped and listened.

“I think it’s not so much as being who you are but embracing it. There are so many people who have a hard time embracing who they are, Lauren having being one of them. We found out as a group of her interest in females the same time the public did and while it wasn’t all that much of a shock,” the audience laughed. “I guess it kind of was actually. There’s always that first initial shock to something you feel that you’ve always known but never knew that’d you’d be spot on. You know what I mean?” Pausing, Normani sighed. “We still knew that she needed our full on support and that’s exactly what most of us gave her right off the bat.

“As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to stand more and more firmly by my belief of gay people are born into and belong to every society in the world. They’re literally all ages, races, faiths, etc. They’re doctors, teachers, farmers and bankers, soldiers and athletes. They’re everywhere. And whether we know it, or whether we acknowledge it, they are our family, friends and neighbors. As much as people choose not to believe it, being gay isn’t some sort of western invention. It’s a human reality.

"I like to believe that our journey isn’t complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law - because if we are truly equal, then we as a nation, as a society, as people, should understand that the love we commit to one another must be equal.

"And I’m sorry for the mouthful here but you guys, it literally takes no compromise to give people their rights… it takes no money to respect the individual. It takes no political deal to give people freedom. It takes no survey to remove repression. I think the best day in society will be when we no longer talk about being gay or straight. It’s not a gay wedding, it’s just a fucking wedding. It’s not a gay marriage, it’s a fucking marriage. Period.

"What people choose to do in their own homes is their business. And they can choose to love whoever they love. That’s their business, don’t make it your own. They aren’t personally affecting your everyday life, so why must you affect their own? What? Someone being different is too much of a threat to you? It’s really like… wow,” she let out a humorless chuckle.

“I mean, if anybody can find someone to love them and to help them through this difficult thing we call life, then I support that in any shape or form and so should you. There are people who’ve said that I’m being brave for being openly supportive of gay marriage, gay adoption, gay rights and LGBT rights as a whole… but with all due respect, I humbly dissent. I’m not being brave. I’m being a decent fucking human being. Love is a human experience, not a political statement and it’s sad so many individuals still don’t get that. At the end of the day, gay rights are human rights. There is no separation.”

Normani took a deep breath as everyone stayed silent for a moment before everyone in the audience stood to their feet, clapping and cheering, Dianna joining. She smiled. Before Dianna could speak she said one last thing, “And I’m glad to be someone apart of something as beautiful as the LGBT community. As my old closest friend once said, she was a bisexual Cuban-American and she was so damn proud of it. Well world, I’m a lesbian African-American and I am so fucking proud of it.”

***

“I did it,” she breathed as she wrapped her arms around the tall blonde. “I can’t believe I actually fucking did it.”

Dinah smiled down at her girlfriend, bringing their lips together in a soft kiss. “I’m really proud of you baby girl…” she trailed off.

Normani backed away with a frown. “What’s wrong?”

Dinah sighed, running a hand through her messy blonde waves. “I think Mila is in trouble… and I need your help finding Ally and Lauren.”

***

“Jauregui, you got some visitors!” Janelle yelled from outside the studio door. I frowned as I stood from my seat.

Walking out towards the main opening doors, I looked around but saw no one. Turning towards Janelle, I held my arms out in confusion. “Where?”

Pointing behind me, she raised both eyebrows. When I turned around, my heart sunk to my feet. What the hell? As I faced the three ladies before me that I haven’t seen in almost four years, a deep frown set itself on my lips.

“Hey Lauren…”

I stood in silence. Shaking my head and blinking a few times, I looked back up expecting to see a different set of people, thinking my eyes were simply fucking with me. When I came face to face with the same three faces, I felt the panic set in.

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked in shock as my heartbeat sped up.

My former closest friend from the three stepped up, her dark eyes giving me a look of uncertainty as she glanced behind me towards Janelle and everyone else who happened to be around. “We have to talk to you privately,” she spoke lowly, reaching for my hand which I instantly moved away.

I shook my head as a disbelieving laugh fell from my lips, “What happened to "Lauren I think it’s best if we all stay away from you and the girls” huh?“ I found my voice raising and could feel the eyes of my co-workers on us.

"Lauren, please can we just talk to you where there isn’t so many people,” the shortest of the three pleaded. My eyes instantly softened when they met her own. She was probably the only one I could never go off on. She looked around before motioning for me to bend down. Furrowing my eyebrows in confusion, I bent down slightly. “It’s about Camila…” she whispered.

***

I shook my head, refusing to believe what I was reading. Fuck no. “Someone is fucking with us and I know exactly who it is,” I mumbled out as tears clouded my vision. How could Tori do such a thing?

Dinah looked at me with wide eyes. “Lauren nobody is messing with us. It’s Mila. She’s alive.”

I glared at her. “No the fuck she isn’t! I just worked with a client from Yakutat, Alaska. She was so fucking adamant about learning everything there is to my personal life. I told her all about the group, the girls and Camila’s death. She’s probably just a crazy old fan trying to fuck with my emotions.”

The room fell quiet before Ally spoke quietly. “Okay if that were true though, why would she contact Dinah? How would she even find Dinah’s number? Wouldn’t she just contact you?”

“Don’t you guys get it? Everyone has been fucking with us since she died. Remember when harmonizers use to send us random fucking letters to our P.O. BOX claiming to be Camila and saying she was in danger. They found her remains you guys… she’s dead. Okay? It’s impossible for a dead person to magically be alive.” I hated this. I hated feeling this way. Why would someone go out of their way to make me relieve my worst nightmare?

Normani spoke, “Lauren I get your hesitation but she gave us an address and everything. How would the fans know about Lola? They only know that she abused Camila and thinks that she got locked up years ago. Remember, her team covered up her death by saying she was in a plane crash.”

“Plus she called me Cheech,” Dinah added.

I shook my head. I wasn’t buying any of this. Why are they so quick to believe everything? Clearly nothing’s changed. “You guys should just go back to wherever you came from. Everyone knew you and Camila called each other Chancho and CheeChee. That’s a known Fifth Harmony fact and anyone who knew of our group would know that. And look at the big ass coincidence that she happens to be in Yakutat, Alaska. Same place that girl I just worked with is from. The city barely has 700 people so you can’t say it’s common. Within those 700 random individuals, are you seriously trying to convince me that Camila is somehow apart of that? Bullshit. I’m telling you, she’s just fucking with us. If Camila was alive, I would know,” I paused shaking my head as I thought back to Tori’s best friend, ‘Karla.’ “God, I’m so fucking stupid. She even made up a fake best friend named Karla.”

Everyone paused as they glanced at me. “The person you met said they had a best friend named Karla?” Ally asked. I nodded slowly, raising an eyebrow at her. Ally, Normani and Dinah all shared a look before Ally walked over to me, her tiny arms wrapping around me. “I know you don’t want to get your hopes up by thinking that Camila just may be out there, in danger, needing our help,” she paused as she sighed. “But, I don’t think whoever that person was played you. Maybe… she knows Camila but doesn’t know that it’s your Camila?”

I scoffed. “I don’t know who’s supplying you guys your drugs, but you may wanna find someone else because you’re all fucking losing it. Camila. Is. Dead. And Tori Kelly is a pathological liar.”

***

After sending my former bandmates on their way, I pulled my phone out as the tears flooded my vision once again. This is why I don’t let people in.

Lauren - 12:42 PM: Are you happy? Proud of yourself? Does it make you feel better? Sleep at night peacefully?

Lauren - 12:43 PM: You know, I’m really not sure what’s more fucked up. The fact that I actually saw you as a possible friend or the fact that you were here for almost two weeks and pretended to not know that my dead wife was Camila Jauregui or mostly known as Camila Cabello.

Lauren - 12:43 PM: You’re a fucked up person. How the fuck do you do shit like that? Do you enjoy causing people pain?

Lauren - 12:44 PM: No wonder you wanted to get close to me. You’re fucking crazy. Just stay out of my life and stop giving my old bandmates hope that Camila may still be alive because she’s not, okay? You know that. I’m sure you’ve had your fun to toy around and fuck with peoples emotions but just fuck off now.

I went to hit the block button when my phone started to buzz, Tori’s name coming up on display. Hitting on ignore, I proceeded to attempt to block again but it started buzzing once again.

Letting out a huff of annoyance, I answered, holding the phone up to my ear. “What the fuck do you want? You already had your fun right? Fuck. Off.”

“Lauren, what are you talking about?” I laughed at her attempt to play dumb.

“Just give it up Tori! You had your fun. You got to me. You somehow got to my former bandmates as well, so please just–”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Lauren, I swear to God. You just randomly started blowing up my phone completely going batshit crazy on me. I haven’t done anything to you.”

I paused at the genuine confusion I heard in her voice before shaking my head. She wanted me to believe she knew nothing. She’s messing with me again. “Just stay out of my life.”

With that, I hung up.

***

Tori stared down at her phone. She was frozen. She didn’t know what to say and or do. She sat in her office chair for a few seconds, her brain not being able to process what had just happened in such a short time span. Snapping out of it, she immediately headed for messages on her phone.

Tori - 11:57 AM - i really don’t know what i did. can you please just explain and i’ll leave you alone, i swear. if you don’t wanna be friends anymore just let me know and i’ll go.

Staring down at her phone, she bit her bottom lip nervously. She could feel the tears pricking at the corner of her eyes.

Lauren - 11:59 AM: I’m blocking you.

Tori - 11:59 AM: wait no please

Tori - 11:59 AM: please tell me what’s happening

Tori - 12:00 PM: please

The three dots in the bubble that indicated Lauren was typing came and disappeared several times. Tori grew nervous as each minute passed by.

Lauren - 12:23 PM: You are really into this playing dumb shit, huh? In case you’ve forgotten your own actions, you not only fucked with me the entire time you were in California, but you had the fucking nerve to stalk on some Great Dane shit and find my former bandmates phone number telling her Camila was still alive. If you were a fucking fan of Fifth Harmony, you could have said something. For nearly two weeks, you pretended to befriend me, pretended that you knew nothing about my late wife. Did you know that all of my former bandmates that I haven’t seen in almost four years all flew out to Los Angeles because they were convinced there was a chance of Camila being alive. But we both know there’s not.

Lauren - 12:25 PM: Oh wow and you made up a best friend named Karla who coincidentally has the same first name as Camila, huh? Then you text Dinah on some unknown number telling her that you’re in Yakutat, Alaska in “danger” with Lola. You’re a fucking joke.

Lauren - 12:28 PM: I have only one question for you Victoria. Why? Why would you purposely make someone relieve the pain of someone who died? What if I played some fucked up prank on you telling you that your dad was still alive? Honestly just go to hell.

As Tori read the messages over and over, she tried to make sense of what was going on. Lauren’s words hurt her more than she wanted to admit. Her heart was slowly breaking as the harsh words sunk deeper and deeper. Thumbs trembling, she began typing, hoping and praying that she wasn’t blocked yet.

Tori - 12:37 PM: i’m very sorry for whatever’s currently happening lauren but i did not message your old bandmates and lead them to think your wife was still alive. i didn’t even know the name of the band you use to be in until these last messages. you never even told me your wife’s name

Tori - 12:39 PM: i can’t blame you for your suspicions. you’ve met the first person ever from yakutat, alaska and now someone is telling you that your dead wife is in danger there to my understanding of what you’ve said. but i didn’t make anything up. i really like you and i don’t want you to think that i’m messing with you because i swear and cross my heart, hope to die that i am not

Tori - 12:40 PM: karla is a real person. my best friend. i didn’t make her up. i wasn’t a fan of fifth harmony. i really didn’t even know what that was until again, you mentioned it. all you ever told me was that you were in a band with four other chicks and you spilt up in late 2016 and married one of them

Tori - 12:42: i’m really sorry for the misunderstanding and i get if you don’t wanna talk to me anymore. i’m sorry. i won’t bother you anymore

After sending her messages, she waited for a reply. An hour to be exact but it never came. Within the last hour of her awaiting Lauren’s reply, she read the messages over and over, crying softly to herself. She hated feeling like she was hurting someone. Her first time out of the state and she’s already made enemies with someone she really liked as a person.

Putting her phone down on her desk, she decided to call it a day. Packing up her belongings, she made her way over to her boss’s office and knocked on the glass door. She could already tell the light makeup she wore was smeared from her crying but she couldn’t find it in her to care. She just wanted to go home. Dustin Harrison, the on floor boss for the day at Tori’s workplace shut his laptop and smiled up at the curly headed blonde before frowning. “Hey Tor– what’s wrong?” He asked, cutting off his greeting.

Tori sighed to herself, shaking her head. “Nothing Dus. Can I please take the rest of the day off? I’m not feeling too well,” she mumbled.

Dustin nodded immediately, pulling out a slip of paper, signing it and handing it to Tori. “No problem darlin’. Just come in when you’re feeling better, okay?”

Times like these were when she was really thankful for the understanding staff at her workplace. Maybe she could visit Karla later and rant. That is if Lola’s head ass lets her.

***

“Tori, what’s the matter? You haven’t touched your food at all,” Laura asked with a sigh. She had dropped her fork onto her plate and set her glass of wine down as she gazed at her daughter who had been aimlessly staring off into space the last fifteen minutes.

Tori glanced at her mom before resuming her stare into space. “Nothing Ma, just not hungry.”

Tori could barely find any form of energy to engage in small talk with her mother since she got home from work a few hours ago. Lauren had still not replied only this time, read her message. She was pretty sure she was blocked by now. She just lost a friend over something she didn’t even do and to say it was affecting her would be an understatement.

Laura shook her head. “Now Victoria, is lying to me really a good idea?”

Sighing, she looked down as the first tear fell. “I messed up Ma,” she breathed out.

Laura gave her daughter a look of confusion. “How?”

She took a deep breath. “Do you remember when I went to Los Angeles to record that demo for Karla’s birthday?” She started. Laura nodded. “Well, I met this girl there. Her name is Lauren. Everything I ever recorded there, she helped me on. We became friends over the time I was there and we started to talk everyday. So much so that she got really worried when I didn’t text her back after I landed for a few hours because I forgot.

"When I was there, she told me some things about her. Like how she use to be in a group called Fifth Harmony with four other girls. In Fifth Harmony, she dated and ended up marrying and having two kids with one of the members after the group break up in 2016,” she paused, her heartbeat picking up its pace. “She also told me that in 2019, her wife died and she was left to raise a two and a one year old at the time on her own.

"Everything has really been a blur, but long story short, when I came back everything was good up until today. She texted me and she was pissed. She started accusing me of messing with her bandmates and her–”

“What? How?” Laura interrupted. Tori gave her mom a look and the raven haired woman put her hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay. Sorry, continue.”

“Anyways like I was saying, she was accusing me of messing with her and her bandmates. Apparently someone texted one of her old bandmates telling them that Camila - her supposedly dead wife - was alive and in danger. This person posing as Camila apparently. She thinks it’s me now because the person said that she was in danger, here, in Yakutat, Alaska and she just met me and I’m from Yakutat, Alaska. She thinks I’m just some weird old fan who got close to her just to prank her like this.

"She said that’s why I was all up in her business. But Ma, I swear I didn’t do anything like that. I didn’t even know of Fifth Harmony until she started going off on me and I didn’t even know what her wife’s name was either up until she texted me those things. How could I just up and do something so elaborate when I just met her a week and a half ago? She barely told me anything about her personal life except for those things.

"Then she told me I faked having a best friend named Karla because her wife - Camila’s - first name is Karla. She just blamed everything on me, told me she was blocking me and to never talk to her again. I explained that it was a misunderstanding and that I haven’t done anything but she never replied and I don’t know what to do Ma. I really like her and she wants nothing to do with me. She probably thinks I’m some crazy bitch.”

When Tori finished, she wiped away the few tears of frustration that had fallen during her explanation. Laura stood up and extended her hand out to her daughter. Tori looked up at her mom in confusion. “What are you doing mom?”

“C'mon, lets go look up Fifth Harmony and see why this girl is so adamant about you messing with her.”

***

“I never met that girl, but by those messages, I doubt she did this Lauren,” Ally spoke as she took the glass of wine I had poured for her into her small hands.

Its been a few hours since my former bandmates decided to involve themselves into my life for the first time in years with their crazy assumptions that Camila may still be alive. I don’t care what they say, Camila’s dead. I saw her body parts. I saw the DNA results from the autopsy. I saw it all. She’s dead. And the sooner we all come to terms with that, the sooner they can move along and continue ignoring my daughters and I’d very existence.

I thought I had sent them on their way and they’d book a flight to return to where they needed to be, but they somehow found where I lived and invited themselves over. I just wanted them to leave before the new sitter arrived with the girls. After what happened with Lucy, I didn’t trust her around them for awhile.

Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair. “You guys, please. I cannot stress this enough. I’m tired of this. Camila’s gone. Alright? She’s dead. Please just drop this all. Tori is just a delusional former fan pulling a cruel prank.”

Dinah stood up from her place on my barstool, pacing back and forth. Suddenly stopping, the Polynesian stared at all of us with watery eyes. This was obviously affecting her way more than necessary. Dinah didn’t need to get her hopes up. If Camila was alive, I’m sure I would know. This was not the time to open up a can of emotions. Because once it opened, I wouldn’t be able to care for my daughters. Camila would have wanted me to stay strong for them and not fall into traps set up by sick people.

“What if it’s not a prank? Huh, Jauregui? What if your wife, the love of your life, the mother of your children is truly alive? What if you’re just so blinded by this wall of self protection you have up that you can’t even see that every minute we waste, Camila may be getting hurt and actually killed by the crazy bitch?!

"I know you don’t want to believe something just to get let down. I know that happened so many times after her death and we all believed it time and time again. But I don’t think someone would randomly just up and do this so many years later. Lauren, please. Camila could-”

I suddenly found myself shouting at the top of my lungs as tears filled my eyes. “Enough Dinah!” My hands shook as Ally and Normani stopped what they were doing to stare at me as Dinah shrunk back slowly. This is what I didn’t want. This is what makes me weak. I can’t be weak for my daughters. I can’t be weak for myself. I just couldn’t. “Camila is gone. Alright? She’s gone. Shes not coming back, she’ll never come back. You wanna know why? Because she’s dead. Dead people don’t make a r-reappearance,” my voice cracked as realization hit me for the first time in years. My wife is dead. I’d never get her back. The familiar aching that I haven’t felt in so long soon returned to the center of my chest as the room started to close in around me. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

Normani was the first to get up and come to my side, followed by Dinah and Ally. “Okay Lo. Okay. We’ll stop, just breathe, alright? Please calm down.”

Moments after catching my breath, I shoved the three women off of me. My knees felt weak, my head throbbing with an upcoming migraine. “Let this go and leave. Luna and Lana won’t be reintroduced to you just for you guys to walk away again. Go back to wherever you came from,” I spat out, my green eyes glaring holes into each of them.

The three of them shared looks of defeat before gathering their things and heading towards the door. Just as Dinah went to open it, Ally turned around and walked back over to me. She wrapped her tiny arms around me, not caring if I didn’t hug back as she whispered in my ear. “I know it’s scary to think of the possibilities, but don’t completely rule them out. Because I believe there is a God. And the God that I worship isn’t so cruel as in to let us all be toyed with like this after so many years. I believe that Mila is alive. And we’re going to find her, with or without your help,” pulling away she looked at me with tear filled eyes. “Even if this is all one big prank, even if this is all one big joke to someone, trying never hurt. Because without effort, there’d be no faith. And with no faith, then what are we as human beings?”

I felt my mouth hang open slightly, at a loss for words. Shaking my head and closing my mouth, I stepped back. By now Dinah and Normani had both come back over as the three of them stared at me expectantly. “So…?” Normani trailed off, the three women awaiting my reply.

***

Bringing her fist up to knock on the door, she shifted from side to side impatiently, glancing around. When the door opened and she came face to face with the familiar hazel eyes, she spoke quickly. “They know that Camila is alive.”

Hazel eyes turned to slits as she dragged the woman inside before shutting the door. “What the hell do you mean by "they know” Janelle?“ She hissed out, anger coursing her body.

Janelle shook like a leaf under the harsh, murderous gaze of Lola.

***

a/n: im so sorry for the late update. because of that i made this chapter extra long and divided it into two parts. the next part is gonna be so… just wow lmao. so double update for y'all. i’ll post that after seeing the feedback on this one.

please make sure to comment and vote. to my tumblr readers, please visit my wattpad @ wthbello to see when i upload the second half of this part. please answer chapter questions below if you’re a wattpad reader.

what do you think about lauren accusing tori?

what do you think tori and her mom will find out?

how do you feel about this chapter overall?

what do you think of janelle?

do you think lauren will try to go along with finding camila?

how do you feel about laurens initial reaction?

thank you so much for reading. i really, really, really, really, reeeeaaaalllllyyyyy, hoped you enjoyed it. please let me know if i should go ahead and post part two of this chapter or have yall just forgotten about this book? lmao.

once again, make sure to comment and vote. answer those end of the chapter questions too. lmao (:

ALSO DONT WORRY NORMANIS COMING OUT IN THE BEGINNING WILL SOON BE UTILIZED A FEW CHAPTERS IN. IT WASNT JUST FOR SHOW.

one last thing, i wanna address the whole laucy situation momentarily. if one of my readers happens to be apart of the group of people who harasses lucy, who comments endless lines of "camren is real” under any of their posts, who deliberately tries to hurt anyone lauren or camila have gotten close to, this is a giant fuck you to you. please hop the fuck off my page.

there’s nothing more disgusting than a group of people who intentionally try to hurt others for - as lauren would put it - their own sick pleasure. people romanticize gay ships these days and its kind of creepy. obsessing over two people who have told you time and time again that something isn’t real is crazy af. sure i write camren and yes i do ship them. but im also respectful of their wishes as human beings. im respectful of the fact that the things i read and write is nothing but fictional and should stay that way. im respect of the fact that they are two grown women trying to get through life as individuals and create their own individual relationships.

please, i am begging you, give it a rest. camren isn’t alive. never has been and never will be. its a fantasy that fans have made up. thats not a problem. everyone has the right to feel a certain way towards something, but forcing it onto someone? hurting people they love? now that’s a whole new level and it’s unacceptable.

as someone around the girls’ age, (im 20) and pretty much had to grow up at a young age like that, if not younger, i kind of understand in a sense. i was put into the foster system from age 6-16. luckily being adopted in my late teens. i had to grow up hella fast and if in that mix, i had a group of people on my back pairing me with my best friend and saying that we’re dating, we’re fucking on the DL, making up scenarios and theories as to how that person and i could secretly be together, i’d hate my life. i mean, what’s fun in having millions of people intentionally ruin aspects of your life for their own wants?

all im saying is respect lauren and whatever relationship she’ll have with lucy. because ive seen it. ive seen how those two stare at each other and THATS love. not whatever we make up in our heads. those two have been through it all with each other and the least we can do as people who love and care for lauren is respect how she feels towards someone and i hope that one day they can mend their broken relationship and come out the way that they had planned to. come out with zero fucks and unconditional love and happiness towards each other.

if you don’t like that, if you don’t wanna read what i have to write anymore because i choose to respect two individuals and keep my fantasies, fake, then please by all means, unadd this story from your library and never read any of my works again.

thats all i have to say on this matter. i have the utmost respect for lauren and lucy and i wish nothing but goodness and happiness to those two. thats love. whether hard headed camren shippers choose to respect that or not. if you are willing to fuck someone else’s happiness up for your own, you’re a horrible person and fuck you. goodbye.

don’t forget to follow me (;

sorry if that rant or this chapter as a whole made no sense. english isnt my first language and i tend to fuck up a lot when it comes to writing it. anyways thanks for reading.

ellianna, xxxxxxx

#UPDATE #series #x factor #non AU #AU #slash #camren #norminah #angst drama #romance fluff #submission #our broken white rose

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