#lovejoy has done it yet again

[tokyyovie]

pebble brain is so good WHAT

[chelsie-fan-55]



‘Oldies are doing well’ Phyllis Logan hails older generations as Downton helps BritsDOWNTON Abbey star Phyllis Logan says it was “fabulous” to be reunited with the cast and production crew to shoot a second film due out early next year. The sequel follows on from the events of the first film released two years ago, which was set in 1927 with Robert and Cora Crawley, the Earl and Countess of Grantham, receiving a visit from King George V and Queen Mary during a royal tour of Yorkshire. Filming of the second film, which sees Dominic West, Hugh Dancy and Laura Haddock join original stars including Dame Maggie Smith, Hugh Bonneville, Michelle Dockery and Elizabeth McGovern, started at Highclere Castle in Hampshire in April and finished in June. Phyllis, 65, who has portrayed Downton housekeeper Mrs Hughes in all six series of the original ITV drama and reprised the role for both films, said: “It was fabulous to be reunited with the cast again, we had such a lovely time, but it was over far too quickly. “During the six seasons that we did (for TV) we usually started filming in the February and finished in the autumn, so we had a good six months of each other, and now it is curtailed into a matter of weeks, so it was done a bit too quickly but we had a great time. “There is lots of nice, really fun stuff in it, I must say and some lovely star turns.” Phyllis, who is also the narrator of fly-on-the-wall TV show The Highland Vets, which starts its fourth series on Channel 5 tomorrow (MON) night, believes period dramas like Bridgerton and Downton have provided much-needed escapism during the past 18 months of the Covid-19 pandemic. She says: “With the likes of Downton Abbey it looks so magnificent, the costumes are magnificent and the mores of the time are different where you don’t air-kiss and have to be suited and booted, and straight-laced, well certainly outwardly.. who knows what they got up to behind closed doors. “But we try to show some of this too and the public just can’t get enough of this type of costume drama. “Everyone has been bingeing or re-bingeing on their favourite shows just to give them a sense of normality. “If you can watch Bridgerton, if you can watch Downton Abbey, or your favourite comedy show, you think the world is ok now, or get a sense that life is continuing in a fashion.” Downton has also led the way in using older actors in prominent roles at a time when TV and film has been criticised for being ageist. Phyllis says: “It’s been fabulous and long may this continue. With Dame Maggie (Smith), Dame Penelope (Wilton), myself and Jim Carter, the oldies are doing well.” Her husband Kevin McNally, who is also 65, is best known for portraying Joshamee Gibbs in all five Pirates of the Caribbean films but joined the cast of Downton for its second series on ITV as Horace Bryant. Phyllis says: “It was nice to have my husband in Downton as well but it was very peculiar the way it happened. “He was on set at one point and said I have just been offered this job and I said ‘oh, what is it?’ And he said Downton Abbey, and I said ‘very funny, what’s the job?’ And he said Downton Abbey and I said ‘oh come on, I haven’t got time, I’ve got to go back on set’. And he was being serious. “They did not even tell me they were going to offer it to him and I thought they should have run it past me first, surely.” She adds: “And it ended up with most of the scenes we were involved in being together, which was unusual. “In normal circumstances as he was playing a posh person and I was playing the housekeeper as usual, I thought our paths would never cross but the way the storyline worked we were always together. “So sometimes we got picked up in a car together to bring us to the castle and it felt like ‘bring your husband to work day’, so I thought ‘what is going on?’” Phyllis, who also starred as Lady Jane Felsham in Lovejoy with Ian McShane for eight years, met Kevin, who portrayed Bernard Ingham in The Crown last year, when they co-starred in mini-series Love and Reason in 1994. Since then they had only appeared together in short films and an episode of comedy show Rab C Nesbitt until their joint stint in Downton, but Phyllis says she would be happy to work together again in the future. And Kevin’s help was vital when it came to recording the narration for The Highland Vets, which follows the vets, nurses and receptionists at DS McGregor & Partners veterinary practice in Thurso, Caithness, as they treat animals in the remote northern tip of the UK mainland. After recording the first couple of episodes of series one in a studio in London’s Soho, Phyllis has been forced to do her narrations since the first lockdown in March last year from the study of her home in west London. She says: “Kevin was my sound engineer for the Highland Vets. They sent all this equipment and I was so useless at using it that Kevin was thankfully around and on hand to be my sound engineer.” The fourth series of the Highland Vets, which contains seven hour-long episodes, starts with the vets treating a young Common seal spotted struggling on a beach by a walker. She adds: “I haven’t done many narrations. I enjoy this one because it is such a lovely programme, there is always something different cropping up, so it is a pleasure to do it.” As a result of the repeated lockdowns for the pandemic she has yet to travel up to Caithness to meet the staff at the vets. But Prince Charles did pay them a visit during a two-day tour of Scotland, where he is known as the Duke of Rothesay, at the end of last month (JULY). Unfortunately the TV cameras were not there at the time but wearing a kilt, he was welcomed by senior vet and director Guy Gordon, who introduced him to his team, including Katie Reiss, 22, who had only started work a few days earlier. Ms Reiss said: “It’s an unorthodox start to work! We spoke about my training at Edinburgh University and chatted about how the vets have been really helpful integrating me into work. “He (Charles) said to stick at it and not lose hope because I have wanted to be a vet since I was a wee kid.” Guy says: “We felt honoured that Prince Charles was keen to visit our veterinary practice to meet the staff and learn about what we do. “He stayed with us for about 45 minutes chatting about aspects of our work with genuine interest and insight. “The light drizzle didn’t dampen this special occasion nor cause him to hurry, he took time to engage with everyone. “So they have the royal seal of approval.” She adds she loves getting to see The Highland Vets before anyone else to do its narration. “There are a few sad bits that do not go to plan but it is so heartfelt.. and the fact that they are in that location which is absolutely spectacular, that they all love it, they love their lives, their jobs, their workmates, their animals. “It’s just beautiful and lovely and life-affirming stuff, even when things go wrong.” Phyllis also stars in a film, The Last Bus, with Timothy Spall which they shot two years ago but has just been released. It tells the story of an old man whose wife has just died using his free bus pass to travel to the other end of the UK, where they originally lived, with her ashes in a small suitcase. She will also be seen in the second series of BBC drama Guilt, which is due to air later this year. *The new series of The Highland Vet starts tomorrow at 9pm on 5Select. Source: Sunday Express

[mcmactictac]

Just finished up Wilburs vod from yesterday!!! It was a lot to process!!! Wilburs music (specifically ycgma and maybe I was boring) has been a great support to me this year and watching him sing through them live was really nice. Anyways in honour of that here are some of my favourite Wilbur lyrics that I have up around my room!!!

“On the path of least resistance, I find myself salting the earth every time that I miss you. I feel the way you hurt. And I don’t deserve you, you deserve the world. Though it feels like we were built, from the same dirt.” (Your sister Was Right, YCGMA)

“And even though I’m finished I’m not quite done with it yet.” (I’m Sorry Boris, YCGMA)

“I thought I couldn’t love anymore, turns out I can, but not for the same reasons as before.” (Your Sister Was Right, YCGMA)

“Treating my memory of you like a fire let it burn out, don’t fight it, and try to move on.” (Since I Saw Vienna, YCGMA)

“What was your thought when you realized you’ll never feel naive love again? Was it pain or was it sickness, were you proud of who you’d been?” (It’s all Futile! It’s all pointless!, Maybe I was Boring)

“And when you hold his hands, it doesn’t feel like flying. And when you take his breath away, he might as well be dying.” (Maybe I Was Boring, Maybe I Was Boring)

“I don’t miss you, I miss the thought of what we were.” (It’s all Futile! It’s all Pointless!, Maybe I Was Boring)

“And I can’t say that I, wasted my time. Cause I’m built by you. And I can’t say that I’m, glad it is over, cause that wouldn’t be true.” (For Memories, Maybe I Was Boring)

One of my favourite things about his music is how emotionally raw they are, and how a lot of the lyrics are very poetic ways to put difficult things. I know some people who wish it was more produced, but the whole draw of it for me is how emotion filled it is. You can really hear that he FEELS the lyrics which is my favourite.

Like when you’re having a hard time you aren’t going to try and sing a song as pretty as you can. Your voice will crack, you’ll have those heavy breaths, it’ll be full of that raw emotion that so much music misses. I don’t want to listen to an overproduced version of pain because it doesn’t feel genuine anymore. Wilburs music always feels like he’s there with you, if it’s the pain of YCGMA or if it’s the happiness of Lovejoy. It’s something I struggle to find with a lot of music I listen to, and I find so often that quality, and making it as perfect as possible loses the point of the song. For people who enjoy that emotionally raw music, here are some other songs I like where you can HEAR that emotion!!

No children- The Mountain Goats

Supercollide- Banners

I’d Rather Drown- Set it Off (set it off is really good with being able to hear the anger through the music)

ART IS DEAD- Bo Burnham

Could Have Been Me- the Struts (an actually happy one! Yay!)

Class of 2013 (specifically the live version)- Mitski (her music HURTS, but this one you can really feel the pain)

Feel Better- Penelope Scott (she’s another amazing artist for this, you can hear the passion in her voice)

How Far We’ve Come- Matchbox Twenty (yes this is probably me projecting a bit but this is one of my FAVOURITE songs. I don’t know what emotion it gives me but boy is it a strong one)

Evelyn Evelyn- Evelyn Evelyn (oh yeah this one is RAW raw)

I totally went off on a tangent here oops. Anyways if you’re still here I have a dsmp character playlist that has some more music that is like this! It’s a few posts back, but I’ll see if I can link the Spotify in my bio! Wishing all you Wilbur Soot enjoyers a wonderful day!

[spookymultimedia]

A Summer to Remember Ch4

CW: internalized homophobia

the f slur and queer used as a slur

[Ned Pov]

My eyes fluttered open to the sound of birds early in the morning. It was still dark outside. I looked down at Maude who was spooned into my arms. I recalled the conversation we had last night. As much as I wanted to hide from it, it was clear that I was homosexual. . .a queer. The word queer made me wince for some reason. I was gay, I was a gay man. It made too much sense. I bit my lip suddenly remembering something that happened in my youth. I remembered being in a group of.  . . secular non-Christian people. It was the early 70s and no one knew where I was. They didn't have to know. It was simple teen curiosity; there was a desire to explore the world that was kept away from me. Again, I always had an innate curiosity to understand. It's impossible for a person to be perfectly free from sin. It was only human nature to have sinful tendencies. What I'm trying to say is I tried marijuana. It wasn't that bad. I actually felt less stressed than I  usually was but let's not focus on that. There was this boy. This boy who was good with the guitar. He had long hair and wore blush from time to time. He called himself bisexual. I remembered how comfortable I had gotten with him one afternoon where we all were hanging out by a river. I remember the smoke and the lesbians who had made love in the shallow water. There were s'mores and homemade tea. By all logic I should have felt scared I was there; I wasn't. 

        I got up close to him by my own will, I remember. He asked me if I had ever kissed a boy before. I hadn't. He asked if I wanted to. Despite the quiet guilt in my soul I nodded. We kissed and kissed again and again until I got a hang of the rhythm. I liked it. The more I reflected on the memory, I remembered how much I enjoyed it. I stared at the window thinking while watching the warm glow of sunrise touch the curtains. I really am gay aren't I?

      I looked down when I felt Maude move and wake up. She stretched her arms and legs and blinked awake. She smiled at me, "Good morning." 

          "Mornin." 

She pressed a small kiss on my cheek and sat up. 

       "You don't have to do that kind of stuff to me if you're not comfortable." 

            "Hm? Oh. .I'm sorry it just felt natural I don't know. Are you uncomfortable?"

    "No, not at all. . .shouldn't I be uncomfortable?"She shrugged. "It doesn't mean anything inherently romantic to me. . .does that sound silly?" 

 I shook my head, "I don't think so. .but I get what you mean."

She rubbed her eyes and played with her hair. 

      "So. . when you said you where gay last night do you mean. .?"

         "That I'm a. . . lesbian? Yeah, yeah I think I'm a lesbian. Sounds right." 

  "That's just lovely Maude."

She frowned, "Is it? I. .thought it wasn't right to be. .-"

     I laid there thinking for a minute, "Is it really wrong?"

        "I'm not sure. . "

"It's just love. I can't see what's so wrong about it. . . Maude I. .I kissed a boy when I was younger." Why did I suddenly feel ashamed? It was just a kiss. Imagine what my uncle would say. He'd probably call me a f*gg*t or something. What would Reverend Lovejoy say? I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

     "Oh? Hm. . . was it nice?"

"Yeah. ." I stared at the wall again.

        "Are you going to tell them?"

"Me?"

    She nodded.

"I'm not sure. You?"

        "I'm too scared."

"I understand." I pet her upper back to comfort her.

[Maude pov]

      After breakfast we followed Tim and Helen led us to the Rock climbing area. There was this gigantic wall in front of us. It had multicolored rubber rocks that I adored. It wasn't my first rodeo with rock climbing. I had climbed with Ned plenty of times. I smiled up at them with anticipation. I had on some white tee from a church event and

jean shorts that reached my knees.

"Now this exercise is supposed to encourage teamwork and support in each other. When this world brings you down you need to have someone to encourage you." Helen explained as Timothy put on a harness. Helen looked at me puzzled as I put on one myself.

        "What? It's not on backwards is it?"

"Oh, no it's just that. . ." She trailed off looking at my harness. She bit her lip lightly for a second before her concentration quickly returned. "Well I was going to have Ned climbing the wall but that's fine that works. . .Maude, are you sure you can?"

      "I've done this many times." I smiled and laughed. 

"Oh. Okay." She said a bit surprised.

Was it just me or did she blush? Was she checking me out. . .? No, no it had to be my imagination. I dismissed any other possibility of why she looked at me like that.

      Once me and Tim were set up we started our climb. I made a speedy start grabbing onto each rock I saw available. It was fairly easy. I made a mental note of the colors. I loved them. Red pink yellow pink orange red blue green red turquoise. I focused on the rocks and moving.

  "You got this Maude!" Ned cheered. I smiled and kept on climbing. I glanced over at Timothy who was only a couple feet from the ground. It seemed I had more upper arm strength than him. I wouldn't have guessed. 

    "I believe in you Timothy! You're doing great. One at a time." Helen cheered, encouraging him. God bless her, she's so sweet. He nodded and slowly found himself a bit higher. At some point I got stuck. 

     "Go left, use your legs!" Ned coached. I nodded and did as he advised. Tim had caught up with me before I made my way ahead of him again. Before I knew it I was at the very top. 

I sat on the wall and smiled as Ned clapped for me. Helen was clapping too. So cute of her. I stared out at the trees and the shimmering lake as Tim was making the rest of his way up. Do I like Helen? I asked myself. Of course I did, she's been my best friend for years. But, Ned was also mine for longer. Yet, something in her sparkled that hadn't in Ned. Every time I had saw her, things we're better. I felt . .giddy. Oh. . .oh. I do love her. I love her more than anything. My chest had ached. Oh God, I love her. 

   "I'm so proud of you!" I looked down at Helen who was cheering at her husband who loved her too. She loved him. She loves him, not me. She's straight, I think. It didn't matter anyways. I sighed. Still I couldn't help but smile. I was in love and couldn't do anything about it. I wonder how Ned was coping with this yearning. I then faced the wall and quickly leaped my way down. With gravity and my emotions taking over me I couldn't help but laugh. I landed on the ground giggling. "That was fun." I snorted and covered my mouth blushing. But then she laughed too. "Oh Maude, that's adorable." She put an arm around my shoulder. Oh God I could kiss her right now. She's so close yet so far from reach. So I just stood there blushing and smiling. Tim slowly but surely came down with a bit of a dizzy stumble. Ned was close and caught him. For a moment the two men were arm in arm. Tim smiled bashfully and a tad embarrassed. 

       "Thanks." 

    Ned stared at him a moment before helping him stand-up straight. "You did great, Reverend." Neddy said smiling. The poor thing. He must feel the same ache in his soul. He has to. 

[Ned pov]

          Later that day I found Timothy by the river. He was just sitting there watching it flow. I had to ask. I needed to know what he thought on the matter. Despite everything, I felt in my soul it was right and only natural. But I just needed to know. You always need to know, it'll be death of you, Ned. I sighed and walked up to him before sitting by him on the grass by the sore. "Hi Reverend."

      "Ned, we're friends, you can just call me Timothy. Really I insist."

         "Of course. Timothy," his name was so intense. Calling him by his name was so tender and intimate it almost felt wrong. "I wanted to talk to you about something. Well, I at least wanted to hear your thoughts on the matter."

         "What is it?" He looked at me slightly exhausted. I felt a pang of guilt. He probably wanted a break from being asked things everyday. It had to be exhausting. But I needed to know. I knew it was important.

    "What do you think about homosexuality?"

                   "Hmm. . ." He hummed and looked out on the lake. "Sexual deviance isn't a good thing."

      "Deviance?" I felt a bit hurt. Was it really cheating if my wife knew how I felt. I mean, it would be if I kissed a married man. I wanted to kiss a married man. Am I lusting? Is this sin? The homosexuality couldn't be though. "Is it really deviance??"

    Tim paused to think again. "Well. Hm. There are some verses-"

            "I know, I've heard about them. But I don't think they're talking about homosexuality. It could be just an error. It could be referring to a completely different sin. But if you don't mind my boldness Reverend, I really don't think it's a sin at all."

     He nodded slowly, pensive. 

"There are verses that have forbidden the consumption of some meats that were unsafe at the time. . .hmm. That's not a sin at all anymore. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding. Prophets are still human after all." He stared at the water. "I suppose homosexuality isn't so bad. Why, it's not bad at all. I mean everyone feels sexuality . . .right?" He looked a bit confused. I wasn't sure why. Was he gay? No. . . was he?

          "I believe so."

He stared at the water thinking, I assume. I looked at those hands that tempted me. Guilt was burning me alive. 

      "Timothy I've been sinning!"

He looked at me startled at my outburst. 

      "Ned. . Ned, why are you asking me about this? Is. .this why you and Maude are having issues? Are you gay?"

I froze.

        "Ned you said it yourself and I agree, I don't think homosexuality is a legit sin."

"No. I mean, no that's not the issue." I felt my eyes water. 

"Ned. ."

        "I've been lusting after a married man! That's a sin!"

       "Ned. . .are you talking about me? Do you like me that way?" His eyes were wide. 

       "I do." I started to cry. 

"Why are you crying?"

         I looked at him like he was absurd. 

       "It's lusting!"

"Eh, well. You're not acting on it. I'm sure the Lord understands your intentions and will forgive them."

     I shrugged, "I understand if you're uncomfortable. ."

         "Not really. Don't worry about it."

"I just don't want to ruin anything."

          "I understand."

"How long have you felt like this?"

                   "I . .I don't know. Maybe I was born like this." 

      "Born??" He looked confused.

"Well not literally. I mean. I've just always liked men." I rubbed my arm anxiously. I was still trying to make peace with myself.

     Timothy stared at the ground, his eyes furrowed.

 "Like them?"

           "Yeah. Like I've just always wanted to.  . .kiss them and stuff. You know?"

 He slowly shook his head looking a bit lost.

   "I don't understand."

I suddenly felt sick. Did he think my attraction was that weird?

       "It's just the same feeling that you get  with women."

    He fiddled with his hands. He looked really uncomfortable.

    "What's wrong? Is it me?"

"No it's not you.  You're fine Ned I promise. I'm glad you decided to come to me about this." He closed his eyes and bit at his finger gingerly. I had seen him do this a couple times. It was usually when he got stressed or something. "Does Maude know?"

"Yeah. She took it well." 

        "Good." He stood up and walked off.

[pascalls]

Are We Running Out of Time?

Helen is out of town and Charlie has an idea for a fun night out. Sometimes, the reverend just has to live a little.

{ Charlie x Lovejoy fic }

Playlist:

Running With the Wolves - AURORA

Pools - Glass Animals

despair - leo.

Stranded Lullaby - Miracle Musical

Dinner & Diatribes - Hozier

Tomorrow Never Came - Lana Del Ray/Sean Ono Lennon

Read it beneath the cut!

He felt a little like an opportunist.

Perhaps he was. When he’d heard that Helen was going out of town with her daughter - Jessica, he remembered - Charlie hadn’t wasted much time in formulating a train of thought that would eventually take him right to the reverend’s front door. It was a bold move that he hadn’t done before, especially since he’d been sleeping elsewhere for the last few weeks. Very few and far in between were the nights that he spent underneath Tim’s train table. Maybe that’s why this felt so nerve wracking.

But with Helen gone, what was the harm? She’d never be the wiser, so long as Charlie was smart. And he’d done his homework; made sure he knew exactly when Helen was leaving and bide his time until he was certain she would be long gone, leaving the reverend alone in his large and not-so-humble abode. It was only when the evening sun began to sink beneath the distant horizon that Charlie made his way to the home and gave the front door a knock. He fought the urge to pace while he waited, ears swiveling forward as the sound of footsteps neared. Straightening up, the hybrid did his best to hide any sign that he’d been at all nervous as the door opened and he was met with the less-than-enthused Timothy Lovejoy, decked from head to toe in his ‘conductor’ garb. He’d been interrupted, obviously. But Charlie didn’t let it faze him.

“...You really should be wearing something to hide those,” was all Tim said, pointing at Charlie’s long rabbit ears.

“It’s getting dark out. They’re fine,” Charlie replied without skipping a beat. “I came to get you outta your train hole for a while.”

“What makes you think I want to get out of my…” Lovejoy shook his head. He wasn’t going to dignify train hole with a response.

“Oh c’mon. The wife’s gone and you’re just gonna sit and do what you would’ve been doing anyway? Let’s go out! Go do something that she would pitch a fit about if she was here, huh?” Charlie’s mischievous grin and slight tail waggle gave away his enthusiasm. Internally, he wondered, if Lovejoy would have the gall - or the courage - to take him up on the offer. But he wouldn’t let the man see him doubt.

Tim sighed, glancing from Charlie back into his house and then back out at the giddy hybrid. A ‘no’ lingered on the tip of his tongue, but it was snatched away from him when he looked out, spying a sporty-looking bright red motorcycle sitting out in the middle of his driveway.

“Is that yours?” He asked, not answering Charlie’s invitation, but stepping out onto the porch and venturing out onto the driveway, eyeing the bike with skepticism - and interest.

Charlie fought the urge to lie, shaking his head. “Just borrowing it from a friend. Told him I’d bring it back in one piece, but I wanted to make sure that I’d make you an offer you couldn’t refuse.” The hybrid elbowed the reverend gently in the side, allowing Tim to circle the bike and make up his mind, in the process.

“...Alright, but not a word to anyone. And if you even run a single red light, I’m driving.” It was a reluctant agreement, but one nonetheless, and Charlie did his best to not grin like a fool as Tim retreated back inside to change, donning his usual pink shirt and tie affair. One that Charlie didn’t think altogether appropriate.

As Tim approached, Charlie went right ahead and reached out, tugging the tie off of the reverend and rolling it up gently, shoving it right into his own pocket.

“You’ll get it back at the end of the night, you big square. C’mon.” It was a tease - and a challenge - as Charlie clambered onto the bike and kicked it to life, the deep rumble of the engine sending tingles up his clawed toes. It had been a considerable time since he’d driven anything, but he’d always preferred vehicles of the two-wheeled sort over four. So he had no problem offering a hand to Tim as he awkwardly positioned himself on the back of the bike, embarrassed and bothered, but only huffing once or twice before settling in.

“Where are we going?” He asked, the words nearly choked from his throat as Charlie pulled away from the Lovejoy household and roared steadily down the street. The hybrid didn’t kick into high gear just yet - they needed to get a little further away from suburbia for that. Instead, he pointed to a backpack which hung off the side of the bike, bulging with the weight of its contents.

“First, there’s a helmet in there. Your head needs more protecting than mine,” Charlie called over the sound of the engine, pleased that Tim didn’t seem to argue. The last thing he needed was to cart the reverend home with a head injury. It wasn’t until he’d placed the helmet snuggly over that nicely coiffed hair that Charlie provided him with an answer. “I want you to see the kinds of sights I get to see all the time!”

Lovejoy frowned to himself. He didn’t know what that meant, but he was given precious little time for a verbal back and forth with the hybrid as they flew out of the subdivision and headed for the highway. As the road opened and the traffic flow ebbed with the approach of the night, their speed steadily climbed. It was clear that they were not staying nested within Springfield. And there was no real insulated space for them to have a conversation. All the man could do was hold tight to the hybrid and try not to regret his decision to come along. He wondered, absently, if it had been better to just stay with his train set.

But as he felt the slight flexing of the hybrid’s midsection in his arms, he lost his train of thought.

------------

It felt like almost an hour had passed before they slowed again, the feeling of zipping in and out of lanes still making the reverend’s stomach do a few interesting flips as Charlie steered them away from the main roads and down what looked to be a sandy, almost hidden path. The sound of the engine’s roar was quickly replaced by the roar of a different kind, and before too long, Lovejoy’s vision was filled with dark, flowing waves, illuminated only by the light of a sparse assortment of street lights and the glow of the rising moon.

“The beach? Charlie, it’s the middle of May. And it’s night.”

Charlie could only allow himself a little huff of amusement. “Yeah, I got eyes too, Tim.”

The hybrid veered off the path and down onto the sand, though he was careful not to get too close to the water. The tires struggled enough away from the smooth concrete and he was quick to turn the engine off, leaving the ambient sound of the nearby waves as their only soundtrack.

“I really don’t understand what you wanted to do here,” Tim mumbled, a bit sourly, as he stepped away from the bike, removing the helmet and trying to smooth his hair back down with some frustration. Though the salt air would likely not do it much good either; he gave up after a few moments.

“‘Tis not simply enough to see a sight, my friend?” Charlie replied with an overly dramatic flourish. His own hair was already a bit tousled with the breeze, but he didn’t seem to mind. It was never very finally pinned in place to begin with. “Get away from the fluorescents and stained glass once in a while. It’s good for you.” He beckoned Lovejoy over as he drifted down the sandy dune and towards the water, breathing deeply. It had been some time since he’d stepped away from Springfield and towards the ocean. He was a good swimmer… he simply had little opportunity to do so.

Not that he thought that Tim would take him up on a somewhat chilly night time swim.

Tim followed, though he took his time, sighing upon realization that he’d need to figure out how to get the sand out of his shoes before returning home. This all seemed so silly, but he got down the dunes nonetheless, stepping to Charlie’s side and grumpily staring at the hybrid. Like he expected more of an explanation.

“Well? Did you see it?” He asked, impatiently, not bothering to look out at what they’d actually come to see. It took Charlie all of two seconds to shoot back that impatient stare right at him, though it faded into something a little more… sympathetic. Or piteous? What would the hybrid have to pity him for? Lovejoy was almost offended, but the thought was significantly jostled off of its track as Charlie reached up with a scaly hand and gently pushed it against the reverend’s cheek, steering his face out towards the water.

“Look.”

Charlie said nothing else for the moment as Tim allowed his gaze to fix forward and out to the shifting waves. At first, his irritation threatened to return, but as he felt the hand leave his cheek and he took his first deep breath in, his protests remained swallowed. There was a dark and moody beauty to the scene, driven to a relaxing swell as he listened to the water lap against the shore. He almost didn’t notice that Charlie had sidled up right to his side, watching him with a little smile. But the hybrid’s gaze only lingered for a moment before returning out to the sea.

For a time, neither of them said anything. Until the hybrid finally murmured, a bit dreamily, to Lovejoy.

“Y’know. If there is a God up there… who… y’know, made all this- I’d like to believe that he made this for me.”

Blinking, Tim glanced over at the hybrid who didn’t look away from his fixed stare on the waves.

“...The whole ocean?” That was silly. God would have created it for everyone- all of his believers. And Tim had been about to say as such, but he would get no chance.

“Nah. Just this moment.”

There was a ‘that I’m sharing with you’ in there that remained unspoken, but Lovejoy wasn’t stupid enough to miss the implication. Awkwardly, he shifted his feet, though he found himself unable to dispute the belief, even if he felt heat rising in his face.

He always did say that God worked in mysterious ways.

“Hey! Check this out.”

Surprised by Charlie’s sudden shift into his usual, playful self, Lovejoy watched as the hybrid skittered closer to the water, his tail lifted high enough to keep from dragging in the sand. With a little shiver, Charlie dipped a toe into the waves and then another. Lovejoy stared at him strangely. The idiot would freeze if the water was cold enough.

“Charlie, really.” He said dully, but the hybrid was not swayed. Instead, Charlie only went deeper, pausing only to roll up the cuffs of his pants to prevent them from getting soaked entirely. The water was halfway up his shin when he stopped, locking eyes with the reverend as he waggled his tail once again. Like a child, Tim thought.

“Watch.”

With a strange precision that he didn’t think the hybrid was capable of, Charlie sunk the tip of his tail into the waves, and with a quick spin, dragged it in a circular motion. The water swished around him, and where his tail had been, tiny, microscopic beads of light appeared in its place. The water glowed with bioluminescence, illuminating the dark waves with an eerie aura that was also strikingly beautiful. Lovejoy had little to say as he ventured closer to the water, though made certain to keep his shoes from being splashed with the salty waves.

“...That’s not you is it?” The reverend asked, skeptical about the source of the glow and wondering whether or not Charlie had received more ridiculous radiation in Burns’ factory than he thought…

“No!” Charlie replied with a laugh. Dummy. “It’s plankton. They light up at night. Come and see!”

Another temptation - another invitation. Lovejoy seemed to be trapped in a never-ending series of challenges from the hybrid. But his curiosity was piqued. He’d never been able to see something like this before, save for, perhaps, on TV when he stayed up late channel-surfing because he couldn’t sleep. How stupid would he have to be to pass up on something like this? Besides… he could probably frame it in a sermon later on.

Yeah. That was his justification.

Though he huffed in faux-agitation, Lovejoy eventually stepped back and away from the water, removing his shoes and socks, nesting them neatly in the sand nearby and returning to the water’s edge where Charlie waited eagerly. Though there was hesitation in his movements, he was already halfway there. Eventually, he goaded himself into the water, similarly rolling up his pants and staring - with half-hearted annoyance - at Charlie who only returned his look with an excitable grin.

“Go on. Give it a try,” Charlie said, glancing from the water back up to Lovejoy who stood, awkwardly, not wanting to look foolish, and yet…

He sighed.

Reaching down, he dipped his fingertips into the water - then his hand. No light gleamed from beneath the frothy water and he frowned.

“You gotta wake ‘em up a bit.” Charlie’s encouragement was genuine.

It was enough so that Lovejoy didn’t feel… too put out when he gave the water a bit of a swish with his hand. And though the glow that emanated from the creatures within was fairly weak, it was a reaction nonetheless. He stared, a bit wide-eyed, moving his hand a little faster to strike up a better, stronger glow.

“See? Easy.”

“I know how to stir water,” Lovejoy replied, his gaze venturing back up to the hybrid who had carefully plodded over to where he was, glancing down at his plankton-stirring handiwork.

“Do you? Because you seem like you’re having kind of a hard time with it,” the hybrid shot back with a little smirk. Teasing, as he was wont to do.

Tim prickled at the implication, chasing a sudden urge and reaching down into the water. He scooped a bit of it into his hand, shifting his stance a bit so he didn’t sink too far into the sand, and flicked the water at Charlie in a meager splash. It was enough to significantly surprise the hybrid who hopped away in a little shake, droplets splattered onto his glasses as he stared dully back at the reverend.

“You are so rude,” Charlie said, his gaze turning devilish as he lowered his tail back into the water once again, circling Tim mischievously.

“...Okay- look. Now- Don’t go too far with this. This is my good shirt-”

Charlie didn’t wait for Tim to come up with more excuses, his tail lashing against the waves and sending a spray of sea water towards the reverend which the man tried and failed to dodge. Now they were both wet. And the thought seemed to strike both men at once. Now it was a war.

Charlie bolted away from the reverend as the man gave chase, both eagerly trying hard not to face plant into the sand and still spray the other with a considerable splash of seawater to consider it even. Charlie didn’t bother trying to disguise his laughter, amused by the grave expression on Lovejoy’s face, even though he too was trying not to chuckle under his breath. It was only when their back and forth nonsense caused Tim to nearly topple backwards into the waves that their game came to an end, the hybrid reaching out to snag Lovejoy by the wrist and tug him back to his feet. They didn’t need to play chicken with the current.

“Don’t drown on me now,” the hybrid said as he steadied Lovejoy, hands drifting to the man’s hips to keep him rooted in place, though he caught himself quickly, returning his grasp to himself and clearing his throat. “You good?”

Tim, for all of his alarm at the thought of losing his balance, was not thinking about that so much as the press of those hands on his body. Though the water was chilly, he was feeling impossibly warm, his hair wet and plastered to his head in what was undoubtedly a mess. His gaze quickly flitted from Charlie, to Charlie’s scaly hands, and then down to his own feet.

“Uh. Yes. Just fine.”

The water around them was teeming with bright, illuminated creatures, but he was having a hard time focusing on that. Even if it was beautiful.

“Good. I’d really rather not have to call the coast guard out here to rescue you a mile off shore,” Charlie replied with a little smile. Lovejoy stared at him for a moment before reaching up to snag the glasses from the hybrid’s face. Bringing them down, he attempted to wipe them clean with his shirt, but to no avail. His shirt was fairly soaked through. A rare kind gesture, foiled at its inception. Lovejoy frowned a little, moving to return them to the other, but not before he felt a sudden drop of moisture from above.

Were the waves growing?

No. That was rain.

Charlie glanced up to the sky and flinched as another drop of water hit him square in the face.

“...Maybe I should’ve checked the forecast,” he said sheepishly as the clouds above them opened and began to shower them both with light, cool rain that stirred the bioluminescence below and lit the water as far as they could see.

“Probably,” Lovejoy replied with a gentle sigh. Their earlier attempts at keeping the rest of their clothes dry seemed fairly futile now. But at least they weren’t amidst a torrential downpour or anything.

“I’ll pay for your dry cleaning. No worries.” Charlie kept his gaze on the other, a friendly apology in his eyes. The words were reassuring to Tim, in some way. Had he been worried about that at all? He wasn’t sure. He owned a dryer. It wasn’t a big deal, even if he made it out to be. But… Charlie was still concerned nonetheless.

“It’s… fine.”

The word tapered from his lips as he met Charlie’s eyes, the rain coasting along the waves and the light below bathing them both in the ghostly glow. From where he stood, he realized that, without his glasses, the other man’s eyes were…

Interesting.

No, that wasn’t the right word. But he couldn’t find the correct one. And for a moment, he didn’t seem to care, their eyes locked on one another’s as the sound of the water rushed around them and the cool relief of the rain kept Lovejoy’s face from getting too hot for him to handle.

Before he knew what he was doing, his body was moving towards the other, the pair of glasses still in one hand as he closed the distance between them. His other hand reached to find the hybrid’s chin, keeping him in place as he inspected - really looked at Charlie’s eyes. Like he was looking for something… specific.

“...What…?” Charlie asked, his breathing somewhat short as his heart hammered in his chest. He was not… used to being handled this way. And part of him wanted to run. But he stayed put, allowing Tim to do… whatever it was that he needed to do.

There was a stretch of a few long seconds before they both understood. But it was Lovejoy who finally pulled Charlie closer to him, pressing his mouth to Charlie’s in a heated, nearly desperate kiss. His fingers gripped tightly to the glasses in one hand and to Charlie’s wrist in the other. But Charlie needed no rooting to keep him in place. His own hands were free, reaching up to frame the other man’s face and deepen that kiss as though his life depended on it. Truly, he told himself, this had not been his intent. He’d been making progress - convincing himself that there could be nothing - would be nothing - between he and Tim. But this…

He drank it in like he’d been deprived of water for his entire life, his eyes shut tight against the sweeping rain and the mist that it kicked up beneath them. Lovejoy’s chest clenched painfully at the warmth of the kiss; at the obvious days, weeks, months of mutual pining between them. Where would this go? Where could it go? Nowhere but down. Down into the depths like so many microscopic bits of plankton which disappeared when the sun rose once again.

But they had time yet - the moon was still full despite the clouds framing it in a gentle embrace. The rain still shrouded them both as the kiss was broken, only for it to be reconnected once again. More than once, Lovejoy almost dropped the hybrid’s glasses into the waves, but he held tighter onto them each time. He had let Charlie down in so many ways… at the very least, he could keep his damned glasses safe.

Sadly, the hybrid knew that such a tender, sweet moment was only destined for brevity. Despite the aching in his chest and the churning, bubbly discomfort in his stomach when he thought of pulling away, he forced himself to. Even if it was slowly; gently. His hands on Lovejoy’s face remained there briefly before they too fell back to his sides, claws digging slightly into his own palms as he watched the reverend place his glasses back in front of his eyes. Behind the glass, Lovejoy was blurry and spotty. Somehow… out of reach.

As he often was.

But Charlie didn’t let his sadness pierce the veil of the moment, offering Lovejoy a soft, encouraging smile. There was nothing wrong. It was fine. Everything was fine.

“Come on. We should probably get you back home before you get sick.” Concerned, as always, though he knew that the morning would bring the crushing loneliness that he knew stemmed from Lovejoy’s apparent lack of concern from day to day.

It was fine.

Charlie led the way back to the shore, fruitlessly trying to shake the water from his hair and climbing back up the damp dunes, turning to offer his hand to Tim as he followed behind, much more slowly, and seemingly lost in thought. Charlie wouldn’t blame him, patience in his eyes as he allowed Tim to take his time. He arrived at the bike first, pulling the helmet out again and doing his best to shake it free of the rain as the shower tapered into a light drizzle. He offered it to Tim, watching as the reverend distractedly placed it on his head and climbed onto the bike behind the hybrid.

They would drive home more slowly, the sting of the drizzle against Charlie’s face an almost jarring reminder that all he would have to show for his bold night out was memories and wet clothes.

--------

Lost in thought as they drove back to the Lovejoys’, Tim had said nothing as soon as they left the water. Though his grip on Charlie tightened when they increased in speed and he’d - at some point - rested his head against the hybrid’s shoulder, his silence persisted as they returned to the quiet, stifling air of the suburbs. His house loomed ever closer, his fingers gripping the fabric of Charlie’s shirt which clung to his somewhat-skinny frame as if he could slow down time and make the trip last longer. But it was not to be.

The bike turned gently into the reverend’s driveway, the engine quieting to a purr and then silencing altogether as Charlie parked, hopping stiffly off the bike and allowing Lovejoy to follow. Tim peeled off the helmet, unaware and uncaring that his hair had flattened against his head during the ride, setting it down on the seat of the bike and leading the way up to the doorstep. The hybrid followed, albeit with hesitation, not venturing up and onto the porch step, even as Lovejoy opened the front door, greeted with a dark, lonely front hallway.

“Make sure you get dry and warm,” Charlie said from behind him, his voice muted and lacking the earlier eager energy that he’d had when they’d left for the shore. Lovejoy didn’t look back, nodding and opening the door wider, prepared to go in and shut it behind him. Charlie had clearly found places to stay. He didn’t need Tim anymore.

But-

As the door seemed to creak to a close behind the reverend who disappeared into the house, Charlie turned away with a gentle exhale. He’d spent the long drive back preparing himself for the disappointment of pretending as though the night had never happened. Resignation was all he had left as he drifted back over to the bike. Lifting up the helmet, he stared into the visor for a moment, seeing his tired, weary expression staring back at him in the reflection.

You’re a fool, Charlie Dean Walker.

“Wait,” called a voice from behind him. Charlie’s ears twitched with curiosity, turning to see that Lovejoy hadn’t quite shut the door yet. The hybrid blinked, confused.

“...It’s too late for you to be driving around looking like that,” Tim said in his usual chastising tone, though his eyes betrayed his harsh words.

They were pleading. Desperate.

“Come in and let me throw them in the wash. Otherwise they’ll never get clean, knowing you.”

Charlie stood upright, staring at Lovejoy in disbelief. He knew an implication when he heard one. And this time… he really didn’t need to be asked twice. Placing the helmet back on the bike, he pulled the key from the ignition and carried it up with him to the porch. Hesitant, at that first step, he fought the urge to run. But here it was. The invitation that he’d wanted. He knew that Lovejoy would not ask him to stay just to toss him back into the basement.

This was something different.

Something new.

Something… exciting.

Oh, he was still a fool. And he always would be. But Charlie chased his foolhardy desires up those steps, snaking his way into the front hallway of the Lovejoy residence and disappearing behind the door.

What Helen didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

[chelsie-carson]

DOWNTON Abbey’s Phyllis Logan wishes she had traded places with her Pirates Of The Caribbean hubby — so she could have played Johnny Depp’s pirate GRANNY.

The Scots actress, loved by millions as stern housekeeper Mrs Hughes from the ITV period drama, is married to Bristol-born actor Kevin McNally. He starred as sailor Joshamee Gibbs alongside Depp’s Captain Jack Sparrow in all FIVE of the big-budget Pirate films.

But Kevin, 64, also popped up in Downton Abbey back in 2012 as miserable misogynist Horace Bryant. Phyllis said: “It would have been lovely to have done one of the Pirate movies, because my husband queered my pitch by being in Downton Abbey for a few episodes. “I said to him at the time, ‘I don’t come on your Pirate movies and step on your toes.’

“But that really would have been lovely. I would have done any part they gave me — even play Johnny Depp’s old granny.”

Paisley-born Phyllis is currently in lockdown in London with Kevin and their 24-year-old musician son David. She’s been keeping busy recording voiceovers for the current 5Select show The Highland Vet — although admits she’s been having a few technical difficulties.

The 64-year-old said: “I haven’t actually finished my narrations yet. I did the first two in a nice recording studio in London but now I’m doing them upstairs in the study. “So my husband has been my sound engineer because I’ve not been particularly competent in that department. “He sets up the mic, plugs it in and sends off the memory stick after it’s done.“But they sent me this microphone that actually rests on your top lip so I felt like I was commentating on the Grand National.“For quite a few episodes I was narrating the show like that, which sounded quite peculiar. So it will be interesting to hear how it sounds between the first two pre-lockdown episodes and the rest.”

The actress also recently provided the voice of Paddington’s housekeeper Mrs Bird — made famous by Julie Walters in the hit films — for a new animated series on Nick Jnr.She said: “I think the makers had Mrs Hughes in mind when they hired me, but Paddington is so sweet.“It was a great coup when they managed to get Ben Whishaw for the series, who, of course, was the voice of Paddington in the movies.”

Phyllis has also been helping to promote Dementia UK’s new campaign Lives on Hold — which aims to shine a spotlight on the lockdown which dementia carers face on an ongoing basis, not just during the coronavirus pandemic.She says: “When this lockdown ends people will go back to getting a pedicure or going to the pub, but for them it will be just more of the same.“With Dementia UK we’re trying to promote the Admiral Nurses who help take away that sense of isolation.“The more of them we get the better because there are around 700,000 people caring for people with dementia.”

Ironically, her character Mrs Hughes lived through the last pandemic when Spanish Flu killed an estimated 50million people in 1918. It also featured as a major plotline in the hit show.

And she believes that the no-nonsense housekeeper — who made her big screen debut last year in the movie version of Downton Abbey alongside Jim Carter as her head butler hubby Mr Carson — would take any lockdown in her stride. Phyllis laughed: “Mrs Hughes would be doing exactly what I’m not doing, which is going through her house like a blow torch and sorting everything out.  “She would be throwing out rubbish and getting everything sorted. I wish I could have the same impetus.

“At the start of the lockdown I was clearing up the house, clearing bookcases and dusting like a mad thing, and now it’s like, ‘I can do it tomorrow’ — and then tomorrow never comes.”

Before her iconic role in the global hit, the Scot landed her first major showbiz break as Lady Jane Felsham in the BBC1 series Lovejoy, along with Ian McShane, which ran from 1986 until 1994.

But she fears she is part of a dwindling band of stars from the show, after the deaths of Dudley Sutton, who played Tinker, and Malcolm Tierney, who portrayed Charlie Gimbert.

She said: “I loved that show as we laughed like drains the whole time. Sadly, Dudley is no longer with us and Malcolm died several years ago. So it’s just me, Chris Jury and Ian McShane left.

“I met Ian a few years back at Venice Beach, California. He lives there and said, ‘Come and see Gwen’ his wife, so we visited him at his lovely penthouse apartment. It was just really nice to see him again. “And, of course, my husband worked with him on Pirates so I’d seen him then too. A few years go by and then we come across each other again.”

But as well as wanting to be in a swashbuckling pirate flick, Phyllis also longs to play it for laughs.

She said: “It would be lovely to do a farce. Something funny. A real comedy. The closest was a Kay Mellor thing a couple of years ago called Girlfriends on ITV, which had its humorous moments, so a bit more of that would be nice.

“I do like a good laugh but the parts I do are not such a good laugh. “So I’m going to have to sort that one out.”

But did she ever forgive hubby Kevin for trespassing on her Downton patch?

She fumed: “I was miffed when they didn’t tell me they were offering him a part. “But it was actually great fun. We got to travel to the set together and, as I said to him, it was like Bring Your Husband To Work Day.”

(x)

[tyronehugh]

Timothy Wepner officiating.

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[marlonhart]

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[olehistorian]

PHYLLIS Logan is only minutes back from New York where the actress has been promoting the new Downton Abbey movie. The national station PBS has been beaming out interviews across the nation, given the series about toffs and toff-servers has been such an success in the classless land of the free.

Logan’s voice is soft and a little subdued. She speaks in thumbnails, not given to flourishes at all. I factor in that the expansive, often dramatic language of hyperbole was spoken by very few in Renfrewshire in the 1950s and 1960s (yet actors tend to be more effusive). And I factor in jetlag of course.

But then again, perhaps there’s a little more of her laconic head housekeeper character Mrs Hughes in Phyllis Logan than we’d suspected? “Well, I can be a bit snippy, a bit terse,” she offers, smiling. “But only to my nearest and dearest.” Would Kevin (actor husband Kevin McNally) agree with that? “Probably,” she says, dryly.

Logan’s thoughts on the Mrs Hughes comparison continues: “She was written down in the script, of course, but I like to think I gave her the legs to run. But when you play a character there are always elements of you in that person. You can’t completely step away from yourself.”

Downton is a phenomenal television success story. The series, which began eight years ago featuring the Crawley family and their legion of servants, began with the Titanic going down, and has covered plague, rape, murder, interwoven with romance, often crossing the class barriers.

Logan’s character was voted No 1 Ever in a 2014 Radio Times poll; no mean feat given the subdued nature of Mrs H, a woman to whom flashes of excitement are to be discouraged as much as relations with those upstairs.

Yet, the original script described Elsie Hughes as a Yorkshire woman. Logan reveals it was only when the casting directors heard the Scot’s natural voice that they asked her to read in her own accent. “I was happy when she was cast as a Scot. She had that Scottish bluntness and I felt right because I have known women like her.”

During the six series of Downton, Mrs Hughes negotiated Branson the chauffeur’s assassination attempt, Carson’s Spanish flu and helped Ethel with her illegitimate Upstairs son, Charlie. The psychologist with an apron also sorted out Thomas’s homosexuality. And although she fell for Mr Carson, (or at least lurched slightly in his direction) it took a bit of persuasion before she agreed to a “full” marriage, where he would make occasional visits downstairs.

“We all know those types,” grins Logan. “But what’s nice about her is she does have a sense of humour. And she’s quite forward thinking. She’s a republican, and has a socialist bent to her for sure.”

Does Logan have left-wing sympathies, considering her late father, an engineer, was a trade unionist? She deflects by referring to Mrs Hughes. “She was of a different type. She knew people were thrown into a caste system but had to make the best of it.”

Yes, but what about you, Phyllis? Did you feel working class containment in Johnstone, where most people’s horizons didn't stretch beyond Rootes car plant or the local carpet factory (where John Byrne took inspiration for The Slab Boys – Logan appeared in the sequel, Cuttin’ A Rug)?

“You just accepted the way things were,” she says, sounding ever so Mrs Hughes. “I never thought I’d break out and become posh. But I did think it would be nice to spread my wings a little.”

Just a little? She smiles and adds: “But I didn’t audition for some of the big London drama schools. I thought that was a step too far for me at the time so I went to Glasgow.”

Not a risk taker. Not a wild child. But very, very good at what she does. Despite her careers teacher declaring the teenager was wasting her time with acting, Logan picked up the James Bridie Gold Medal at the RSAMD. On leaving she landed work at Dundee Rep and worked continuously throughout the 1970s and 1980s with the likes of Borderline Theatre. Real talent was revealed. Yet few would have expected her to land the role of Britain’s most popular posh totty in dodgy antiques dealer series Lovejoy.

Aged 30 in 1986, Logan walked into an audition room as Lady Felsham. Logan’s Lady had a cut-glass accent, spoke authoritatively of renaissance art and invoked a world of stately homes and castles. But in reality, Logan’s only castle connection was her housing scheme, Johnstone Castle, where the recognised art on living room walls was a classic Sara Moon picture. This new cut-glass accent had somehow emerged from a world where ginger bottles were a form of currency.

Logan’s clever deception (aided by being forced to speak RP at drama college) revealed that you don’t have to be a loud extrovert to be emboldened enough to convince you are actually blue blooded: you just need to be talented. “I can’t believe looking back now that 20 million were watching us on Sunday nights. The show was so huge.”

Many other drama successes followed such as Mike Leigh’s Secrets and Lies. But did she feel Downton would be the massive success it became? “I read the scripts and loved them. And when I heard Maggie Smith and Hugh (Bonneville) and Penelope (Wilton) were on board it looked good. Then we signed an option for three series but there was always the chance it could have gone down the pan after one.” Her voice lifts. “And then six came along.”

Did this kill the fear, the insecurity that comes with being an actor waiting to be hired? She answers indirectly. “It used to be that you always knew that when one job was finishing another would be on its way. But that seems to be far less the case these days. That’s why it was great having that guarantee of six months' work each year. And each time it was like going back to school after the summer holidays and seeing your friends.”

Logan seems the worrying type, so why volunteer for a life of insecurity? “And rejection,” she adds in soft voice. “And I’ve had a certain amount of that.” She thinks for a second and makes a dramatic statement that seems out of character. “You know, I wanted this part in Downton so badly I think I might have given up [acting] had I not got it. I don’t often feel that. Usually I have a what’s-for-you-will-not-go-by-you outlook.”

She laughs and allows herself a little flightiness: “Somehow I felt, ‘This is mine! It’s meant to be.'" She then contains herself and becomes more Mrs Hughes. “No, I felt I’d like to give it a bash.”

Logan certainly didn’t get into acting for the glory. She doesn’t seem to be consumed by ambition or the fripperies of acting success. She had genuinely forgotten she’d won a Bridie Gold Medal, and mention of her Bafta for Another Time, Another Place, (the 1983 Scotswoman falls for Italian POW tragic romance) doesn’t swell her head in the slightest. What she does want, however, is to act. All the time. In all the best roles.

“I just wanted to be the best I could. To find the truth in every role. You don’t think about awards. Acting has been the only thing that remotely interested me since I played Mary in the Nativity play at primary school. Then at Johnstone High I’d join every club that had anything to do with acting and take trips to the Citizens'. I’d be in any play going, starting in the chorus and working my way up to playing Polly in the Boyfriend.”

But, of course, there have been set backs. “My dad [David] didn’t live to see me graduate, [he died, aged 59] and that was a real shame but my mum would come and see all my shows.”

Logan’s voice becomes more upbeat as she tells of how her mum and aunt landed roles in one of her films, when the actress appeared in a drama set in Spain, The Legendary Life of Ernest Hemingway (1989). “My mum Betty and my auntie Margaret came on set to have a look around, and they were asked if they wanted to be extras. They loved the idea of this, and were dressed up as posh ladies with big frocks and they had all the make-up done.

“But it was a night shoot, and the second night as they should have been getting picked up they declared, ‘Oh, pet, we don’t think we’ll bother tonight.’ I thought ‘Have you never heard of continuity? Do you know what this means? I had to tell the director they’d both eaten something dodgy.”

Betty and Margaret clearly weren’t captivated by the acting world. Logan herself once claimed she wasn’t captivated by actors. She said she wouldn’t have one in the house, that they were vain people. But then she met McNally while filming the 1993 miniseries Love and Reason and they fell in love and married.

“What I meant was I’d never get together with one,” she backtracks, grinning. “But in a way it makes real sense. We know the business. And we can help each other. Recently, Kevin was doing three episodes of the missing Dad’s Army scripts (playing Captain Mainwaring) and I read lines with him every night. It meant I got to play every other character in the cast.” McNally must have found it a delight, given his wife’s talent. (She slips into a remarkable Clive Dunn/Corporal Jones voice. “Don’t panic, don’t panic Mr Mannering.”

But if all that sounds a little perfunctory, Logan, who lives in west London, once declared: “There’s an excitement in discovering that you can still fall in love when you’re an ancient old trout.”

There’s little doubt the relationship really works. But the Mrs Hughes cross voice emerges when I ask if Pirates of the Caribbean star McNally, who has appeared in Downton in the past, playing Horace Bryant, has a role this time around? “No, he does not,” she says emphatically, (subtext: he’s had his shot and should be thankful, a sentiment which sits neatly against her husband’s quote of the time: “Phyllis said it was like take-your-husband-to-work day.”

Was she a bit territorial? “Yes,” she smiles. “I was thinking: ‘You don’t get me a part as Johnny Depp’s mother and take me to the Caribbean. So why are you here?’”

What of the Downton film, set in 1927, two years after the end of the series? It transpires tiaras and silver will be polished until they sparkle. “We get a visit from the King and Queen (George V and Queen Mary) and there’s a bit of friction between the Downton team and the Royal household staff. Mr Carson (now on gardening duty) is begged by Lady Mary to help out. The cavalry ride into town!”

And, of course, there will be lashings of scandal, romance and intrigue “that will leave the future of Downton hanging in the balance,” says the official movie site.

But what of the future for Phyllis Logan? Despite running up continuous film and TV series, success, from Taggarts to Rab C Nesbitt, from the more recent The Good Karma Hospital to Girlfriends – and attracting great crits for her West End role earlier this year as Patricia Highsmith in Switzerland – she certainly has Elsie Hughes’ worry gene.

Logan’s run, she feels, could end at any minute.

“It’s a snakes and ladders life,” she says in Mrs Hughes' tones. “Your career can be going really well and suddenly the snake appears. But I guess I’ve been lucky because I persevered.”

Nonsense, Phyllis. Talent kicked in. You don’t get Bridies and Baftas and almost continuous work for perseverance. “It’s lovely of you to say so, but I’m not sure that’s really the case.”

Downton Abbey is out on September 13

[kinetic-elaboration]

May 21: The 100 2x11 Coup De Grace

It’s late, my computer’s more tired than I am (and hardcore hates me and very well may decide to eat this entire post who even knows), and this is probably a bad idea but I’m gonna do it anyway.

Or at least start.

Another episode, or partial episode, of The 100.

This opening torture sequence makes me so uncomfortable. Which like I get is the point but tbh I’m just not into ‘look how unflinching we are at the realities of Bad Stuff.’ Especially when my tired computer is skipping and the sequence becomes, like...trippy. Trippier.

This is probably a super bad idea because my computer literally cannot handle video lol. I am going to restart it.

It’s actually kind of nuts that Monty’s been missing for 2 days and Harper even longer and Jasper and Maya are like ‘this is weird and upsetting but I guess we’ll find them somewhere!!’ Well, Maya more than Jasper. Mount Weather isn’t THAT big.

“You have to look like nothing’s wrong. Like everything’s okay” is so sad. I think it’s situations like that that make S2 my favorite, just b/c I’m a sucker for scenarios of enclosed tension. Like, forget war and blah blah blah, I want this, like... secretive, spying, being spied upon, uncertainty. That’s the real horror in a satisfying way.

Gosh his haircut is awful though.

When does Clarke learn to ride a horse?

I have literally no idea what’s happening bc I rewatch these eps so infrequently.

Clarke just got “yes ma’amed.” I find that semi-hilarious, not because she’s 18 but because you knew Grounders used words like “ma’am.”

I love Clarke’s single-mindedness. “We can’t stop for water. We can’t stop for anything. We’re on a mission. And Bellamy might have called!” AWWNH!Clarke is so OOC lol but she has a different background okay?

I’m not really in the mood to trust Abby about anything. Does she... actually make good decisions? I feel like you’d have to track her through all of the seasons but I am inclined to say...perhaps......not.

So the Mountain Men tried to assassinate Clarke and Lexa. Completely forgot about that.

The introduction of Echo. I just... I just have no opinions on her, I guess. Literally my only opinion is that she should have been the Ice Queen and, not being the Ice Queen, she’s just not interesting to me. I will say, she couldn’t have been in Mount Weather long if she knew who the Sky People are, as they’ve only been on the ground about a month. But also...why does she hate them? They were only fighting with Trikru, and Azgeda territory isn’t even, like, in the vicinity.

I love Dante but he has some major balls looking Jasper in the face and saying he doesn’t know where his friends are. I mean, he doesn’t, because Cage stole them, but how do you just MISPLACE people in a 600,000 square foot bunker? Where COULD they go?

I’m sure I’ve said this before but as someone who went to a high school with a uniform I find it HIGHLY unrealistic that all these teenage boys tuck in their shirts and keep them tucked in all the time without exceptions.

Jasper being protective of Monty <3<3<3.

So it was MW that told them there were no Ark survivors. Did I know that? Did I forget that? Not that it matters as my Clarke/Maya fic is done lol.

Dante is the most Hilarious and Wonderful of all of the attempted father figures on this show I said what I said--they’re all terrible but at least he bring the Weird Father Figure energy to 11. I’ll lie to you but it’s to protect you, call you son (always weird), super good at self-defense--ah-ha! sword at at your neck!

“This is not a toy.” If the sword is in MW it’s probably Important and Famous.

IMO and I completely stand by this assessment, it’s harder for Jasper to be brave than it is for other people, and he was really brave, and it worked, and I’m proud of him.

I realize this is also a problem with the literal world but we actually do know that torture isn’t effective so Indra being all upset that she’s not allowed to torture Emerson is just so....exhausting to me. Like Clarke isn’t suggesting not torturing him bc she loves the high ground and must walk it at all times. She’s suggesting not torturing him bc the last time she tortured someone, she got 0 good information. And even though neither of them know it, it was the shit information garnered from torture that led Finn to TonDC! Also if they had let Emerson die, the Grounder would have also still died--it’s not that they chose to use resources on one and not the other. They had two different types of wounds. I mean I guess if they’d brought them in faster without patching up Emerson in the field? That’s probably what she meant. However the Grounder Death Cult and their complete willingness to declare their fight over at the merest papercut makes me again less sympathetic to this point of view.

I’d literally already forgotten that someone tried to assassinate Clarke like an hour earlier. Abby doesn’t need to be concerned about that, lol, Clarke’s used to it!

Okay first I did have a longstanding headcanon that Echo had a crush on Bellamy going way back--I mean that’s practically canon, yeah?--but now I’m super convinced because in their second scene together, he sacrifices himself for her using information she gave him (that MW takes the loud/strong looking ones), even though she greeted him by spitting in his face, and actually, that was very heroic and selfless of him. I’d fall in love too.

Second, I thought she had no tattoos because she’s a spy or w/e but I CLEARLY see tattoos on her legs. And they are not white either.

I don’t think I ever realized that Maya found Bellamy because she was in the infirmary/harvest chamber looking for Harper and Monty. I do not have a good memory for each scene leading into the next. AND she think she’s found them when she sees how fast the random patient’s treatment is working, because that has to be a Sky Person and she would never guess Bellamy.

They really do just talk about their little torture machine casually all the time. “I need to go over the treatment schedule so I know how many cages to clear.”

Hey so like how did Maya get in if she’s not cleared for this facility?

What a wonderful time to remember yet again that if Bellamy knows who Maya is from her reference to Jasper, Clarke, who saw Maya and Jasper flirt like ONE TIME, must have told him about them, which is cute and funny all at once.

Maya: “I wanted to see what was so special about him, but... he’s dead.” Bellamy: Ah yes! I’m dead! * immediately closes his eyes * Why am I laughing so hard at this?

Good thing they take dead bodies down slowly instead of just thunking them on their heads.

Maya, Bellamy, and Echo v. Lovejoy is a pretty satisfying fight. Also, what did Clarke just say about Emerson talking b/c they saved his life? Echo helps Bellamy because he saved her life. Sometimes you get more flies with honey.

I tend to forget that Bellamy literally strangled this guy with his bare hands. Like it was self-defense to some degree, in that this had to be a fight to the death, but it was also just pure fucking rage. Like he said, he (like Clarke for a while) wants to kill everyone in the Mountain.

And then he thanks Echo and asks Maya if she’s all right. A True Catch. Tbh I could see something forming out of Echo and Bellamy here, but not after some of the later twists and turns in the later narrative.

Honesty, I’ve always loved Maya but... let’s just appreciate her, shall we? That was horrific, seeing someone she knew killed in front of her--and helping, because she knew he was on the wrong side, even though that was the same side she’d been on her whole life. Is she completely in the moment, or is she already seeing that there’s no way out for her here? That the people they’ve brought into the Mountain are really going to destroy it?

Bellamy coming out in Lovejoy’s clothes looks like a kid trying on new clothes at the mall before the new school year. Except he’s just dumped a body down a trash chute.

Like “I’ll come back for you, I promise”--I can see a basis for a ship in that. So far it is 100% built on how Echo would have to be dumb not to fall in love with Bellamy but still.

This Maya and Bellamy scene is amazing. I love every aspect of it.

Lemme just...watch that Jonty hug on repeat.

Honestly they even ended the scene with them walking out the door together even though there’s no way anyone could have moved Harper that fast and there’s also no indication of who moved her or how. Guess she’s...not that important...?? LOL??

Kane has only two modes: fairly ineffectual bastard or utterly ineffectual neo-hippie. “You’re not grasping the situation! We’re nice! Be nice to us!” I probably shouldn’t mock him bc he is me lol, I also would not know what else to say to Emerson other than ‘please????’ but still. Common sense and peace and love would be great but those aren’t shared values I guess.

And then he goes 180 to ‘let’s torture him then?’

What you should be doing is good cop bad cop. Or like, wearing him down with repeated questioning? I heard that’s an effective interrogation technique, although here Emerson has a certain advantage of time and that his interrogators are way more easily annoyed than he is easily worn down or confused.

Anyway I remember now. Clarke ultimately solves this problem with that ultimate BDE moment, sending him with a message and 6 hours of oxygen. She really is just the Smartest.

At least Kane acknowledges that the Chancellorship is a completely random title since Abby literally just kinda stole it? Like Jaha is the rightful Chancellor and Kane is the second-most-rightful Chancellor and she’s just sorta...there? But it also doesn’t matter because as established, Clarke is the one actually in charge.

This Bellamy and Maya elevator scene is also the kind of tension that I like. Is Bellamy...legitimately considering shooting him? In the elevator? That would end badly lol. He has this idea to just start randomly offing people in public/enclosed places, while Lexa is all like ‘we can’t save TonDC bc it would blow Bellamy’s cover!’ like the irony.

I wonder if the MW classes are like...to some end, like, mandatory schooling that must be completed, or if they’re just like for funsies? I think the second, partially because it’s an “Expressionist class” which doesn’t seem like the Three Rs and partially because this dude doesn’t seem upset that Maya didn’t show, like he’s just vaguely wondering where she was.

“We’ve accomplished great things” in that tone is like the MOST American thing I have ever heard. (I can say this because I’m American.)

“We’ve been bleeding people to stay alive for generations. That’s our legacy” is true in the sense that Dante’s line in the sane is...truly in the sand. But also has it been ‘generations’? I’m not sure you understand how time works, show-as-a-whole. I mean maybe this is technically true? They probably discovered Grounders like....50 years ago? Which is sort of “generations.” But when you say it like that it makes it sound way longer.

You wanna root for Dante over Cage because he’s on the side of our heroes but in terms of like bitter logic Cage has the advantage. What they’ve already done and what Dante has managed to rationalize to himself is bad enough. They’re already Doing Bad Things, doing yet more bad things isn’t going to bother anyone. Especially when these extra bad things (1) come out to the same--torturing/killing people and (2) lead them to a permanent home on the ground.

I wonder if Dante/MW justified what they did to Grounders with stories of them being like...irradiated mutants. Like literally inhuman. So it ‘doesn’t count.’ I mean objectively they’re wrong of course but I mean in their heads. And then for Dante the line is so obvious between killing radiation casualties and killing just normal humans like themselves, whereas for Cage--who sees the Grounders more because of Cerberus, and knows they don’t look that much different, that they are also just people underneath the masks and big clothes--sees no difference between the Grounders and the Sky People, and if he’s already sullied himself by using one set, he can continue sullying himself, for a greater cause, by using the other set. It’s just a question of which story you’re telling yourself and how much you’re willing to lie.

The plotting of this season is, overall, very good. Especially in the second half.

I think Clarke’s default mode when stressed is order giving. It’s part of the control thing. She’s okay if she has everything under control, and if she knows everything, and when she has all that knowledge and control it just...spills out of her, directing people with what they need to do and where they need to go.

Whereas Raven’s in full ‘falling out of love with Clarke’ mode.

Also I think Clarke is very quick to comfort people and she is genuine in this but because she ALSO has her agenda and her strident tone and her controlled demeanor, it can look like manipulation. Or at least, if I were her friend, I would always wonder if she really cared or if she just wanted me to calm down so my emotions weren’t in the way of The Plan.

My 15 second Raven, Clarke, and Octavia scene. Lemme just rewatch this a bunch of times too.

“Jackson found genetic marker anomalies that can only come from someone born on the Ark.” Remember when people were theorizing that this was a big deal in some way? The Arkers were genetically modified to withstand space? I remember that being a theory. Anyway in retrospect, it’s just a Plot Device. Possibly a Pseudo-Science Plot Device I would not know.

Never mind. “We were genetically engineered. They weren’t.” So it is in fact canon, just meaningless canon. HOW IS THIS SOME RANDOM THROWAWAY LINE?

Clarke’s feral moments are the best.

It’s cute how Abby continues to think Clarke isn’t in charge.

Having Bell run into Lovejoy’s son is cheap but effective. I still remember that scene and I can really feel the full effect on him through Bob’s acting and the music. I also always remember that line “What did you expect you’d find here?” Because the answer is obviously ‘monsters.’ They had their simple narrative too: about how MW were the bad guys and thus they could destroy them all and it would be vengeful and feel good. But it’s more complicated than that: everyone in the Mountain is complicit in terrors. But many of them passively so. Bellamy was ready to kill all of them, and so was Clarke, but he changes his mind based on this encounter, tells her about it over the radio, and makes HER change her mind and in fact change her entire plan, by the time she explains it in 2x15.

And it’s sad for Maya too because Bellamy is being aided by her but she is still a Mountain Person. It’s easy to say ‘she’s an exception, she’s Jasper’s friend, she’s our friend.’ But she’s done everything he hates the Mountain for. If the whole Mountain is evil, she’s evil. And to the extent you can’t be both pro-MW and pro-Sky People, she’s put in this impossible position of choosing sides, or trying to switch sides abruptly. Bellamy sees that, and it’s like yet one more additional layer to his guilt over what he did, because he sees a new angle to how it affected Maya,  without whom he’d be dead.

Jonty the leader couple. And Jasper’s face when Monty says “We’re not safe here.”

S2 is my favorite bc of plotting like this episode: just as the 47 are about to leave, Cage stages his coup. Just as Bellamy is about to see his friends, the doors lock and they’re trapped. The moment when Jasper sees Bellamy--with absolutely no reason to believe this could even be possible. In trying to plan fics that use S2 I tend to get confused about the plot bc it goes back and forth and circles around a lot, but in actually watching it, it’s quite effective, and I think part of the circling confusion is just bc there are so many moving parts, people need to be in the right places at the right times, meet and separate at the right moments, so it can read awkwardly in summary. But they did a good job ultimately, I think.

Another thing about S2 generally is that even though it’s much more expansive than S1 in terms of locations and number of characters and groups of characters, ultimately almost everything revolves around one story (except for the CoL setup stuff), and 2 main locations that have meaning, with various points in between. So it is more concise and more centralized and more meaningful than later seasons, which become increasingly spread out and disjointed. Or so I try to explain to myself at 1am.

Yaaaay emotional Princess Mechanic and then Bravenlarke. I live for these moments when characters are just like...emotional together.

I don’t know if I find it realistic that Clarke would be like ‘it’s over’ so fast but nevertheless I like Raven and Bellamy picking her back up.

Clarke’s relieved face...she’s in love.

Bellamy: I’m fine. Me: He’s a liar!!! But I guess they can talk about his emotions later.

When they’re all together, they’re all better. Like immediately. Even Clarke’s “Raven’s going to help you” with a little look to her, like, this isn’t an order, and Raven nods....

I love that Bellamy took Maya’s expression to mean “It’s not a problem” when it quite obviously meant “It’s a huge problem.” But also Clarke smiled for .05 seconds so I think she knew he was a-lying. This could be a sitcom if it were a totally different show.

Weirdly, I watched part of 2x15 again for a fic I decided not to write atm and...they don’t actually use the Grounders as a Trojan Horse army. Their plan NOT to kill everyone including the kids meant basically that they used their real army as a distraction and then just took the inside-Grounders out the back way. Or that was the idea. Which in retrospect is actually kind of disappointing.

Clarke’s power walk through the hallway with her Grounder Entourage is just so....satisfying. This is the emotional payoff that got me into this show.

Clarke just literally staging a coup against her own mother, using the Grounder force that sees her as a leader, is so.... I feel like I have never appreciated it before this rewatch. I think in the past I found it kind of annoying tbh. But this time I like it a lot more. I like Clarke’s just insane levels of confidence and self-assurance. It is a good look.

First of all the parallel to the Wallaces. But more importantly, I always wanted this big story line of Delinquents Versus Arkers that never fully came as I wanted it, but this is pretty close, where she’s just used to being in charge by now, so you know what, she is. And the only thing she needs to make her desire for power real is muscle, which she has, thanks to Lexa, so she uses it. It’s also very satisfying. And should ultimately have been the groundwork for the delinquents to form a separate community but WHAT DO I KNOW?

All that said, and this isn’t contradictory, but Clarke picks like the MOST inflammatory way to go about her plan. She just does it, she gives no explanation, she stages a showdown at the gate with her own Mom the Chancellor. There is a subtler way of doing this. But I like that she didn’t do subtle because it’s IC for her. It’s IC for her age (who is more Dramatique than a teen?) and it’s IC for her place in her hero’s arc: under L’s influence, she’s becoming big-headed, leaning into the sin of pride, here in the form of “I do can do no wrong,” and by 2x16 in the form of “I can do no right, no one has ever been more wrong than I, no one has ever been more sorrowful than I, let me perform penance in the woods.”

Pride: the most annoying deadly sin.

Anyway.

And Kane, who always bows to the Alpha Female in the room, immediately enables Clarke’s Drama.

“Let our people go and we’ll let you live. It’s just that simple.”

“The Grounder army is bigger than you think and the acid fog can’t hurt them” is honestly a bluff though? Because again, they do not use or even PLAN to use the inside Grounders and they DO plan to take out the acid fog so??? I guess the point, if she was protecting Bellamy, WAS the bluff, WAS the distraction.

I think it was unnecessary to take out his O2 but I guess she’s really just showing off, which again is IC and I guess has the purpose of showing MW she means business and is Not To Be Fucked With. Still, it is important that her message make it to MW since it’s the distraction Bellamy asked for, so it seems like something of a risk to make it hard for the messenger to arrive home safely.

I do like that she gets to use that classic retort “That sounds like a you problem.”

And so.... I meant to go to sleep like 3 hours ago, and my power is flickering. Time for bed. The end, goodnight.

[voicefulbee]

My slow dance with Jesus

By Joseph Ahab (God Increases Love) 

“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?” Psalm 42:5a

I waited in vain for an answer, but the lack of response made me mindful of my surroundings. Here I was all alone on the beach at night: sitting on the sand. I couldn't see much, although I was able to make out the vastness of my surroundings in the moonlight. I heard the waves lapping on the beach around me. I took in a deep breath of air, and smelled slightly sulphuric decaying sea matter mixed with salty ocean. A gust of wind passed over me -- chilling my body while it rustled the trees around me.

I took a deep breath and sighed, while staring into the moonlit ocean.

As I closed my eyes, my mind brought me back to around a year ago. I went back to the hospice with my Aunt Deborah: right after my father died. She tells me “God is refining you Joseph.”

I opened my eyes as I shook my head, exclaiming. “Yeah right!”

Combined with losing my Dad and being locked up during a pandemic, I had never felt more alone in my life. Fuck my life!!!

I was pissed. The warmth of a tear falling down my cheek provided temporary relief to the chill of the night.  The one tear turned to several. With tears streaming down my face, all I could think of is one of June Osborne’s prayers.  I looked up to the stars in the skies and cried out: 

“Our father, who art in heaven, seriously? What the actual fuck?”

As I opened my eyes and waited for a response, another gust of wind passed over me -- as the trees rustled around me again.

I turned around and saw nothing but a black void.  I closed my eyes again, and this time a prayer from Kesha came to me.

"Am I dead? Or is this one of those dreams? Those horrible dreams that seem like they last forever? If I am alive, why? Why? If there is a God or whatever, something, somewhere, why have I been abandoned by everyone and everything I've ever known? I've ever loved? Stranded. What is the lesson? What is the point? God, give me a sign, or I have to give up. I can't do this anymore. Please just let me die. Being alive hurts too much."

I opened my eyes as I think I heard a “Joseph!” called out from a distance behind me. While I didn’t see anyone as I strained my eyes, I could now see a tiny flickering light in the distance.

I stood up, brushed the sand off me, and started walking in the direction of the light.  As I began to get closer, the light appeared to be a lamp.  A beautiful melody of piano chords also began to play.

As I arrived at the lamp, I stopped. Seeing no one, I called out: “hello?” I did a full spin and verified that I was still alone. A guitar and drums were suddenly added to the piano melody playing. I let out a sigh as I imagined this melody to be the perfect slow dance song. Yet here I was, all alone.

Looking up at the sky, I called out, “do you think it’s funny to torture me? Have you predestined me to be alone in the dark? Will you even refuse to dance with me Lord?”

I heard a chuckle behind me. Startled, I turned around. There in front of me was Jesus. “Oh my God!” I gasped in astonishment.

Jesus laughed and replied, “That’s me! I hear you’re looking for a dance partner.”

“Wait, one second! Where did you come from?” I asked.

Jesus chuckled and replied, “I have never left you. I have just been waiting for another one of your invitations.  So what do you say… do you want to dance?”

“But you’re a man and I’m a man, my Lord. Surely the Church won’t approve of us dancing together!”

Jesus replied, “freedom comes through abiding in me. Now do you care to take my hand?

I blushed and smiled while grabbing Jesus’ hand.

I placed my arms around his neck as Jesus placed his arms around my waist.  We gently swayed to the melody as we stared at each others’ faces. I couldn’t mutter any words: I was in complete awe of what was happening.

Suddenly I heard the voice of a young man call out; his voice coming from beyond the reach of the light coming from the lamp. “Bruh, that’s so gay! Two guys can’t dance together! Go find some chick to bang!”

“Oh no! He’s back my Lord!” I sighed.

“Who’s back?” Jesus enquired.

“Chad. He’s one of my accusers,” I answered.

“He is speaking lies to you Joseph. But it’s your choice to hold onto his lies, or to let them go,” Jesus told me while holding my face.

I then heard the voice of a young woman call out: “You have every right to feel shame. You really need to keep quiet about yourself. This needs to be a secret.”

“Becky’s right my Lord. I should remain in the dark,” I stated while looking at Jesus.

Jesus replied, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

“Change is possible. If your faith is strong enough, and you pray hard enough, you can pray away the gay!”

“Oh Lord, James has a point. Why has my faith been so weak? What will it take for you to finally answer my prayers?” I asked.

“Joseph. Joseph. Joseph. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. I know this is not your choice. Please ask yourself why you are trying to change what I made wonderful.”

“The only way you’ll ever be able to reconcile your faith with your life is to embrace the affirmation of everything! Sure, you may have to question whether or not that man you’re dancing with is a figment of your imagination, but at least you’ll be able to experience love from everyone else in our church!”

“Do you really desire me to attend Reverend Lovejoy’s church my Lord? Will not my own congregation be willing to discuss my journey with them? Is the only way for me to break away from shame in the Church is to embrace the affirmation of everything?” I enquired of Jesus.

Jesus replied, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6

“You’re choosing this because your Mom or Dad traumatized you! You can’t be Christian and gay. You just need to learn to walk and talk like a real man, and then your homosexual condition will fixed.”

“And people wonder why I struggle reconciling my love for you while hearing Nicolas preach this in the Church,” I cried as streams of tears poured out of me.

“Joseph, stop trying to fix yourself and stop looking to others to fix you. Let me transform you,” Jesus affirmed to me.  He added, “None of that toxic masculinity ever came from me. I want my children to look to the Son of Man as their role model. Can I get an amen in here?”

“Amen!” I shouted while smiling.

Jesus added, “Now let the music play!” This made me laugh.

“You’re not with a man now, so you’re straight!” shouted Karen.

“No hunty, you’ve been with a man before, so you’re gay! No woman will ever take you again!” argued Charlie.

Before I had a chance to say anything, Jesus grabbed my face and stared into my eyes telling me, “I know you see beauty in my creation regardless of gender. I see you as my beloved child. It’s up to you to use your own words to describe your life.”

As I stared into my Lord’s eyes, the words of David came to me:

Psalm 139

O LORD, you have searched me and known me!

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

you discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down

and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before,

and lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from your Spirit?

Or where shall I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

If I take the wings of the morning

and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

even there your hand shall lead me,

and your right hand shall hold me.

If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,

and the light about me be night,”

even the darkness is not dark to you;

the night is bright as the day,

for darkness is as light with you.

For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

If I would count them, they are more than the sand.

I awake, and I am still with you.

As I pointed to my accusers around me, I continued:

Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!

O men of blood, depart from me!

They speak against you with malicious intent;

your enemies take your name in vain.

Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?

And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?

I hate them with complete hatred;

I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart!

Try me and know my thoughts!

And see if there be any grievous way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting!

Smiling, Jesus grabbed my face and proclaimed to me:

John 15:1-14

I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branch. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciple. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friend if you do what I command you.

I replied, “Lord, I am one of your branches… but these accusations are preventing me from bearing fruit.”

Jesus asked me, “well, do you want to bear fruit?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed!

“Then to hell with these lies,” Jesus replied, as he pulled out a pair of pruning shears. Suddenly my eyes were opened to each of the parasitic vines attaching me to my accusers. Jesus grabbed the shears, and proceeded to to cut each and every lie growing off me.

We then returned to our slow dance. 

“Wow, I guess I was getting tripped up in those vines,” I told Jesus. “Suddenly I can dance a whole lot better. I got the moves like J… ESUS!”

Jesus laughed, then kissed me on my cheek. “I love you Joseph. Now look in my eyes.”

As I stared into Jesus’ eyes, the world around me became intensely hot and blindingly bright. Where I stood, I was comfortably warm, while the discarded vines around me instantly were incinerated. The light surrounding us was so bright that the only thing I could focus my eyes on was Jesus. 

While everything was burning around us, neither his nor my hair were singed, nor were our clothes harmed. I placed my head on Jesus’ shoulder while closing my eyes. I took a deep breath and noticed that while my clothes still smelled like Downy Unstoppables, Jesus had a divine scent finer than the costliest perfumes. His arms wrapped around me were so comforting. I could feel my heartbeat against his.

Then the lyrics of the song of our slow dance came to my lips:

I'm Listening - Chris McClarney

When You speak, confusion fades

Just a word and suddenly I'm not afraid

'Cause You speak and freedom reigns

There is hope in every single word You say

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

'Cause everything You say is life to me

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

Quiet my heart, I'm listening

When sorrows roar and troubles rage

You whisper peace when I don't have the words to say

I won't lose hope when storms won't break

You keep Your word, oh and Your promises will keep me safe

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

'Cause everything You say is life to me

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

So quiet my heart, I'm listening

Your ways are higher

You know just what I need

I trust You, Jesus

You see what I cannot see

Your ways are higher

You know just what I need

I trust You, Jesus

You see what I cannot see

Your ways are higher

You know just what I need

I trust You, Jesus

You see what I cannot see

Your ways are higher

You know just what I need

I trust You, Jesus

You see what I cannot see

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

'Cause everything You say is life to me

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

So quiet my heart, I'm listening

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

'Cause everything You say is life to me

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

So quiet my heart, I'm listening

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

'Cause everything You say is life to me

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

So quiet my heart, I'm listening

Jesus whispered in my ear,

“The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” Ecclesiastes 12:13

As the Raven perched on a branch called out to me, I opened my eyes. I noticed that I was standing alone in the same spot, except that it was no longer night time. The sun was just coming over the mountain as the dew on the greenery around me dazzled like jewels.

I lifted my eyes up to the mountain, and shouted my own prayer to the Lord as the Raven took off and soared above me:

“I am alive; God dwells within me. Praise the Lord, oh my soul. Lord, I’m still confused and hurt about so many things, but I trust you that you’re in control. I will continue to ask you why things happen. Thank you for walking alongside me and never abandoning me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for allowing my brothers and sisters to be the hands and feet of your love for me. Thank you for showing me how you can beautifully fix something broken. Thank you for giving me signs to remind me where to go. I can do all things when you give me the strength to do them. You are my reason for living.”

In the light of day, I could now see the path that lay ahead of me. As I paused to turn back to look at the spot where I had just been slow dancing with Jesus, I turned back to take my first step on this path, while I Am Loved began to play.

I Am Loved - Mack Brock

Just as I am

You welcome me

With open arms

How can this be

My guilt is undone

My past is untethered

I leave it behind

And run to my Father

There is no disappointment in Your eyes

There is no shame there is only pride

I am loved

Father, I'm loved by You

So unreserved

Your heart for me

My fear is gone

I am set free

There's nothing to hide

There's nothing to measure

'Cause I am Your child

And that's all that matters

There is no disappointment in Your eyes

There is no shame there is only pride

I am loved

Father, I'm loved by You

There is no distance in Your embrace

Over and over again You say

I am loved

Father, I'm loved by You

I am loved

Father, I'm loved by You

You are changing everything

You are changing everything

I believe it

I receive it

You are changing everything

You are changing everything

You are changing everything

I believe it

I receive it

You are changing everything

You are changing everything

You are changing everything

I believe it

I receive it

You are changing everything

I believe it

I receive it

You are changing everything

Oh, You are

Oh

There is no disappointment in Your eyes

There is no shame there is only pride

I am loved

Father, I'm loved by You

There is no distance in Your embrace

Over and over again You say

I am loved

Father, I'm loved by You

I am loved

Father, I'm loved by You

I am loved

Father, I'm loved by You

I'm loved by You

I am loved, I am loved, I am loved

I am loved by You

I am loved, I am loved, I am loved

I am loved, I am loved by You

I am loved, I am loved, I am loved

I am loved, I am loved by You

I am loved, I am loved, I am loved

I'm loved by You

I am loved by You

[sometimesrosy]

Can you tell us, from a writer point of view, what’s Echo’s plot and what you think of it? What type of archetype is she? Where is she headed? How did her character in past seasons influence her character in s5 and how will it influence s6? Sorry if it’s too much, I’m just really curious because barely anyone analyses her character without being biased. If you take this “challenge”, I’ll thank you for it. If not, I understand and thank you anyways.

Okay. First, archetypes aren’t like, a definitive label to place on a character. Archetypes are traditional stories and characters, patterns and tropes and conventions that we are familiar with due to eons of these stories being told.

They help us build our concept of humanity, of ourselves, and of expectations, ideas of right and wrong, and help us make sense of the world around us. They are subconscious stories that *feel* right to us, so we can understand character or personal motivations.

As such, I can explore a character through many different archetypes and might have different understanding through each one. Some might fight more fully, some might be only a partial fit. A character might drop one archetype, and move onto another, like Bellamy starting out as “the rebel” and becoming “the caretaker.” He was DEFINITELY “the rebel.” And then he wasn’t. Or perhaps he still has some elements of “the rebel” in him. The more complex a character, the more realistic, the more we’ll be able to see multiple archetypes within them.

Okay, so I did a little google (with a short trip through some mens rights horror) and settled on our basic idea of archetype. Jungian. Generally with this show, while there are many literary elements going on, they are usually pretty simple ones, and you can find understanding on page 1 of your google search.

So for Echo, I’m going with:

The HeroMotto: Where there’s a will, there’s a wayCore desire: to prove one’s worth through courageous actsGoal: expert mastery in a way that improves the worldGreatest fear: weakness, vulnerability, being a “chicken”Strategy: to be as strong and competent as possibleWeakness: arrogance, always needing another battle to fightTalent: competence and courageThe Hero is also known as: The warrior, crusader, rescuer, superhero, the soldier, dragon slayer, the winner and the team player. [X]

She is The Hero before we meet her. I don’t mean the hero of the story, and i don’t meant The Hero’s Journey. I’m talking character type. Personality. 

So we meet her in the cages, where the enemy has beaten her and her story is basically over until she meets Bellamy who she blames, sorta, and hates, until she realizes teaming up is the way to survive and win. This actually reminds me of Clarke. She recognized him as “the hero” and leader, the “other” who could be allied with in order to win. Which she did. They work together to defeat Lovejoy, and Bellamy goes on his mission while Echo takes on HER mission, mobilizing the grounder troops.

However, her leader calls her to stand down, so she abandons her new comrade in arms and leaves him to fail, while following her leader, who has chosen to betray their allies. 

We know that this bothered her, because she told him it was wrong (as did Lincoln and Indra.) In season 3 she came back, and leaned on her relationship as comrade with Bellamy, apologized for her betrayal, and then, leads him away from the plot against Mount Weather. Thereby saving his life and fulfilling her debt to him for saving HER life, but also betraying him AGAIN. HOWEVER in doing so, she has followed her leader’s requests, again, in word, while also getting her goals accomplished. Saving Bellamy. Who she feels a connection with, as well as owing a debt to.

In season 4, she’s back again. This time, with power. The king depends upon her. She is a warrior again. She makes decisions for the best of her people. She continues with her enmity against the sky people, which has been the case since they landed. (witness her initial meeting with Bellamy.) BUT her interactions with Bellamy have taught her that the sky people have also contributed and are warriors in their own right. She still disregards the skypeople and thinks of them as enemies, but BELLAMY is not like other skypeople, and she would like him to trust her. :/ I am not a big fan of “not like other girls” thinking. Lxa did it too with Clarke.

That actually is important, because there are a lot of parallels between Echo and Bellamy’s relationship and Clarke and Lxa’s relationship. The opposite side enemies, who become allies and comrades and are betrayed, leading Clarke and Bellamy to basically lose it, who must come back to become comrades again in order to survive and then, fall in love. 

Lxa and CL was important to Clarke because it allowed her to embrace the dark side of herself, to make the hard choices, and face the terrible repercussions of those things. Lxa was her shadow and she needed to fall in love with her in order to move forward.

Echo and B/E is important to Bellamy because it allows him to forgive HIMSELF, to let go of his hate and resentment of the enemy who has caused him so much pain, so that he could accept “the other” as part of his family. As humanity. He needed this to move forward and lead with his head, while Clarke needed CL to embrace love and lead with her heart. 

I point these out because, while Echo is important and has her own story, her MAIN place in the story is to act as a foil for BELLAMY’S journey. Yes. She is there to serve his story. She is a secondary and sometimes tertiary character. because it’s HIS story. Why didn’t we get the story of B/E falling in love? Because it wasn’t about their love. It was about how their love changed Bellamy and allowed him to move forward in HIS story. He is a holistic leader now, he has forgiven himself and his enemy (sometimes the same thing) and now he can live without the trauma he has been holding and we see him as The Hero he is meant to be. For Bellamy, that is not actually his archetype, that is his role in the story. Not personality. Sorry, there are many forms of “the hero” in lit analysis. 

Echo’s story in s5 CHANGES. She moves from being a minor or tertiary character to being a secondary character.

NOW we get to see her in her Hero archetype. She is the fighter. The warrior. The team player. She goes on the missions. She saves the day. Right? 

Her story in season 5 and I suspect season 6, because it is not over. I feel like she went to sleep in the middle of it, is “The Hero” discovering that she does not need to be the warrior all the time and she has a place in her family without having to be fighting someone all the time. 

With the fight for Eden, she had a clear role. It was EVEN how she got Octavia to allow her to continue her relationship with her boyfriend. Her romance is not really the story. Being ALLOWED to be part of Bellamy’s life is. We don’t SEE their love. We see them fighting to be able to love. And to WIN that permission? What does she do? She fights against the enemies. She provides the leader with military advantages. She is The Warrior. 

It is hard to tell you what I think her story is this season without speculating, because I don’t believe her story is done.

I do not think her story will be about a romance, but I DO think it will be about belonging, about family, and about being the good guy– and what that means when she can’t just fight “the enemy” and let that be enough to make her worthy. It is part of the main story of the whole show, with different characters exploring what it means to be good. What IS good. Her issue is where does she belong, because she has always belonged AS The Warrior. If she can’t be The Warrior, then WHO IS SHE? 

I’m seeing some echo between Echo and Clarke now. The beginning of s1 had Clarke asking who was Wanheda if there was no one left to kill. And I think Echo will be having a similar question in season 6. When the warrior went to space and put down her sword and became a part of a family and found love, but then had to pick up the sword again and fight enemies again. So she had a place. The family, the love, the sword. 

I think her question will be “am I worthy if I don’t have the sword?” Partly because the question of love will be up in the air, with both Octavia and Clarke there now, and Bellamy loving Clarke. And to THEN be confronted by Clarke and Bellamy’s decision to “be the good guys” and Bellamy’s declaration that they weren’t going to kill their enemies. It leaves Echo without a place. This would essentially be a confrontation of her archetype. If she’s always playing the role of the hero and that is how she finds value, then having it taken from her and finding her own intrinsic value is a subversion of the Hero archetype.

I think she’ll find that being part of the family is ENOUGH. That being HERSELF is enough. And she might end up making some decisions that are the right thing to do, but not for her family. Hmm. I think she’s going to prove herself as the good guy also, but it may not be how her family wants. BUT that is speculation on what I see her story going towards, not an analysis of it yet. Because it hasn’t gotten to that part yet.

I believe that s5 and s6 are a two year long story arc for all the characters, so I’m looking at where we could go from where we are now.

. What do I feel about her story? If it goes the way I see it, I think it’s good and important and strong for a secondary character. I don’t like the romance because I ship Bellarke, but I also don’t see it as a threat, because I see it as a narrative tool to move Bellarke into the romantic. All the signs are there. It’s slower than the fandom wanted, and left us in the middle of it which makes them feel Bellarke isn’t happening, but it’s all still going along the conventions of the love triangle, so I’m good. 

I am leery of the ship wars, and I know the ship wars make me not want to pay as much attention to echo as i might otherwise if i didn’t know people would use the analysis to prop up a ship and shoot mine down, and take my analysis of what I see as a romantic obstacle to Bellarke as an attack on them. And while I appreciate echo, I can’t take part in echo appreciation because people use that to hate on Clarke, which I cannot abide. So the fandom limits how I may address characters and stories. Mainly because I don’t want the drama. 

I took the challenge. It was hard. ;)

[scuttleboat]

Do you like Echo? I really want to now that she's a regular but I can't shake my wariness of her. It seems like she's constantly in the antagonistic role for our mains, but then she'll look sad for like 2secs and people will feel bad for her. But I don't. Do you feel me? Im open to her changing and growing with the spacekru, and I hope I like her character next season. But as of right now I don't understand the fascination some people seem to have of her.

An Egregiously Extensive Echo Essay

I’m gonna throw this wild analogy at you: Echo kom Azgeda is James Bond.

She is a dangerous, beautiful, ruthlessly loyal spy. She serves the queen (or king) and has to kill a lot of people. Fanatically loyal, always gets the job done. She gets captured, she makes allies, she lies to people, she gets friendly with the enemy and then later has to fight them or kill them to save her country.

bad difference: she doesn’t get to have smokin’ sex with the enemy officer (yet)

good difference: she feels actual, on-screen, sincere regret and anguish for deaths that she knows are necessary for her people but will nonetheless cause pain to someone she respects. I don’t think I’d personally seen a movie with genuine anguish from James Bond until Casion Royale came out.

So James Bond is a superhero if you’re British, but if you’re Russian or Communist or you work for a well-paying criminal mastermind, he’s basically like a horrific monster who kills your friends and blows up your factory and keeps your homeland from winning the cold war either militarily or economically. Either way, a loyal killer lapdog of the monarchy.

That’s Echo. If you look at where she’s coming from, even the fact that Bellamy helped her once isn’t enough to counteract the belief from her people and her queen that the Sky People represent an extreme danger to the clans and to Ice Nation. So they betray Lexa (who they see as an unfit conqueror anyway), and take out the enemy stronghold (Mt. Weather). To do that, Echo lies to a man who helped her once and saved her life. Yes, it’s a cruel and terrible thing to do.  Yes, he’d be in his rights to hate her forever. But that doesn’t make Echo any less of a hero to her people.

((sorry this is getting long, so…. behind the cut))

The way I see The 100, the show goes to extreme lengths to show that everyone has motivations for evil acts. Most of the time, those motives start out “good” (such as self-defense, protection of community, stopping cruelty).  In a few cases, it becomes evil when A) the harm done so vastly counterbalances any possible rational good (Dante), B) when someone is just a total sadist (Cage), or C) when ego and neglect and vanity cause the literal apocalypse (Becca/ALIE). Echo does not meet the standards of either A, B, or C. None of the major Grounder characters do (maaaaaybe Luna? !SQUIRREL!).  Anyway, Echo, like our main characters Clarke, Bellamy, Kane, Jaha, etc… she’s done terrible things to protect and serve her people.  I don’t hate or even dislike her character for that. She just is a character in this universe. And I certainly adore Bellarke, who have done as bad or worse than Echo for the same reason, so I can’t point fingers on the whole military actions thing.

We didn’t get to really know Echo until this season, and I think the show tried hard to put a lot of character building in while not forgetting about what they’d used her for in the past. They did an… adequate job. There’s definitely stuff that could have been handled in a smoother or more complex manner, but at the end of the season I’m generally satisfied with how they brought her into the regular cast. Weak episodes aside, there were several of her scenes I liked, and plenty of points at which I felt sympathy for her, just as you mention in your ask.  

The biggest thing I had wrt Echo going into season 4 was “How is her relationship with Bellamy going to be handled?”  Because I stan that guy, and she did him dirty. She did him as badly as Lexa did Clarke, except no one was there to intervene and save the sky people this time. I was pretty frustrated with their dynamic in the first half of s4, especially 401, because I thought their scenes really underplayed the anger that Bellamy ought to have been feeling.  And then again in 405, their pivotal conversation didn’t feel successfully dramatic to me because I was just asking “WHEN IS BELLAMY GOING TO BE MAD ABOUT STUFF?” Like, Echo was a pivotal agent in a plot that got his friends and lover killed, she lured him into a potential bloodbath to disrupt a peace summit, she held a sword to Clarke’s throat, she mortally injured Octavia, and she advocated for war with Skaikru. Even if Echo was just protecting her own nation, it’s incomprehensible that Bellamy wouldn’t be angry that she used their past shared trauma to personally manipulate him. And then like, basically assassinated his sister.

For most of s4, I was like “????????” about how this was going, but that was more about Bellamy>>Echo than about Echo the character. Luckily, 410 went a LONG way to fix that for me. In 410, we finally saw Bellamy’s rage. I normally am not here for guys choking women on TV but in this unique case it felt really earned as a climactic fight. He almost kills her the same way they killed Lovejoy, the same way Murphy and then ChippedKane almost killed him. I cheered cause WOOOO DRAMA.Bellamy found out Echo was interfering and would try to assassinate his sister AGAIN, so he tried to kill her and his violence took on a form that is indicative of his lessons on the ground. We saw him finally let out that rage that was suppressed during their earlier encounters.

I’m glad he didn’t kill her, and she didn’t kill him, but I think they needed to come close. They needed that release, so the real forgiveness could come. We’ve seen Bellamy forgive–or at least live with–the people who tried to kill him or his loved ones before (Pike, Murphy, Jaha, Kane). Bellamy at his heart is a loving person who is damaged by anger, not made strong by it. Forgiving Echo at least enough to help her survive is absolutely in character for him at this point in the story. That’s what makes him a heroic protagonist. Being a protector is a core trait for both him and Clarke, and part of why they’re ultimately so compatible.  Does that mean Bellamy could fall for Echo? Ehhh… They’re in a fairly unique situation and I wouldn’t take sex off the table. I think a delicate strange friendship will come about. But I highly doubt he’d actually fall in love with her. If I was shipping them, that’s a really complex dynamic to write a ton of fanfic about. As I’m not, I don’t care.

“Do you feel me? Im open to her changing and growing with the spacekru”

Anon, I have to say that nope, i do not feel you on this. Specifically, I don’t think she has to “change” if ‘change’ means to go from being a bad person to a good person. From the POV of her journey, she did the right thing by her people every step of the way until 410. The conclave was the first time she went outside her orders and did a dishonorable thing to save her people. Ironically, the Skaikru did the exact same thing that very same evening. A lot of people cheated at that event. But why it mattered to Echo’s character is that honor was the heart of her story–and it was honorable, to her mind, to kill in defense of her nation in s3 and s4. But when she let her fear and distrust drive her to break the rules of this (totally outrageous fucking bonkers) murder game, she violated her own honor. Roan came down hard on her for that, because Roan happens to care a lot about honor when it comes to fighting, I guess. Echo went too far in 410–just as Clarke and Jaha and Miller did. Just as Bellamy has before, as Lexa has before. She was punished for it, essentially ordered to die in a few days time.

I don’t look at Echo’s character and see a bad person who needs to learn to care about things–Echo clearly cared about a fucking LOT. It just wasn’t what our mains cared about. Echo did have to learn a lesson about when to have restraint, but then that’s what everyone on the show has had to learn. Other than that, her being in a antagonist role has been entirely a function of plot on the show. The plot was that she worked for the enemy. Otherwise, she is pretty similar to our heroes, only taller. 

We did see, at several points this season, that Echo’s fierce loyalty to Roan and the Ice Nation caused her anguish when it came to betraying Bellamy. She was fully aware of what he’d done for her, and that between them personally he didn’t deserve to be so horrifically betrayed. To be a little callous, that’s more genuine visible remorse than we ever saw from Lexa or Pike or–check this out–Emori. As a viewer, I feel like we’ve been given enough material to see her position and to understand where she comes from. I’m content with her being in the main group. I think she’s one more interesting person in a mix of interesting characters who are trapped together in space.

I mean, I may have a bad reaction if we have to SEE her make out with Bellamy. Like, I hope I don’t have to see that. Otherwise, I’m cool with her on the show. I feel bad when she makes a face like a kicked puppy. I think making deep and meaningful connections with people outside her clan will enrich her as a character.

[dukereviewsmovies]

Duke Reviews: A Christmas Carol

Hi Everyone, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Where We're Continuing Duke's Yultide Reviews...

And I Have A Slight Problem...

On Today's Show I'm Doing Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, But Here's The Thing There Are So Many Adaptatons Of A Christmas Carol That If I Do All Of Them I Will Basically Be Doing The Same Review About A Billion Times So, Here's What I'm Going To Do I Am Going To Do What I Believe To Be The One True Christmas Carol Adaptation And Do That...

Sure, There Are Those Once In A Lifetime Adaptations That Do Something Completely Different With The Tale With Some Being Good And Others Being Different And Yes, I Will Be Talking About Some Of Those Another Time...

But What Christmas Carol Adaptation Do I Believe Is The Best? Well, Charles Dickens (Acting Like Patton) You Magnificent Bastard, I Read Your Book!

As Much As I Think That I Really Don't Have To Go Over The Plot For This Story As Everyone Basically Knows It I'll Go Over It Anyway For Those That Are Watching This Film For The First Time, George C. Scott Plays Ebenezer Scrooge, A Miserable Old Miser Who Is Visited By The Spirit Of His Former Partner, Jacob Marley Who Tells Him That He Will Be Haunted By 3 Spirits...

Just 3? I Was Hoping For 999...

Who Will Help Scrooge Repent His Evil Miserly Ways, Will They Succeed?

Let's Find Out As We Watch A Christmas Carol...

The Movie Starts Exactly Like The Novel Does With Jacob Marley Being Dead As A Doornail, Our Viewers Must Know This Or Nothing Wonderful Will Come From The Story That I Am Reviewing...

Our Story Starts In Scrooge's Counting House, As Bob Cratchit (Played By David Warner, Who Most People Know For His Role As Mr. Lovejoy In Titanic) Recounts For His Boss, Ebenezer Scrooge That 7 Years Ago That Day, Scrooge's Former Partner, Jacob Marley Passed Away...

Asking Cratchit To Get Back To Work, Bob Goes To Get Some Coal For The Fire Before Going Back To Work, Scrooge Tells Him No, Stating That Coal Is Too Costly And Therefore They Will Not Burn Any For The Rest Of The Day...

Being Visited By His Nephew, Fred Who Wishes Him Merry Christmas Scrooge Only Tells Him

I Realize That This Isn't From This Movie But It's The Only Scrooge Saying Humbug I Could Find So Bear With Me...

But With Fred Saying God Bless It, He Invites His Uncle To Dinner But Scrooge Declines Stating That He'd Rather See Himself In Hell First. Not Happy To See His Uncle So Resolute Fred Leaves Wishing Scrooge A Merry Christmas And A Happy New Year...

Going To The Exchange, Bob Hands Mr. Scrooge His Hat To Which Scrooge Realizes That Bob Will Want The Whole Of Christmas Day Off Tomorrow While Not Too Happy About It, Scrooge Tells Bob To Take The Day Off But To Be There Early The Next Morning...

Arriving At The Exchange, Where After He Talks With Some Businessmen About Corn, He Talks With 2 Gentlemen Collecting Money For The Poor (One Of Them Being Played By Alfred Pennyworth From Tim Burton's Batman) But Refusing Them, Scrooge Exits...

Leaving Work, Bob Meets His Son, Tiny Tim Outside Of Scrooge's Office As He Tells Him That He's To Have The Whole Day Off Tomorrow...

Wow, That Line Sounded Like The Kid Read It Off Of Cue Cards...

Walking Home, Scrooge Soon Hears A Voice Calling His Name, Eventually Arriving At His House, He Soon Sees The Knocker On His Door Change Into The Face Of His Former Partner, Jacob Marley...

Going Upstairs To His Room, Scrooge Puts On His Best Dressing Gown, Only To See The Face Of Jacob Marley Within The Fireplace As Bells Start Ringing Eratically And Chains Are Heard Throughout The Place As Scrooge's Bedroom Locks Are Unlocked So The Spirit Of Marley Can Appear Before Him...

Oops, Wrong Spirit...

I Meant To Say The Spirit Of Jacob Marley, Not Bob Marley...

(Start At 3:20, End At 8:46)

And Just As He Came, Marley's Ghost Leaves...

Not Buying It All For One Minute, Scrooge Goes To Sleep, Only To Wake Up At 1:00 To See Nothing At First However A Bright Light Soon Shines To Reveal The Ghost Of Christmas Past, Who Takes Scrooge Back To His Childhood At Boarding School...

Watching Himself Grow Older As The Years Pass By, Scrooge Watches As His Sister Fan...

Fan? I Know I'm Probably Asking A Moot Question Here But Who Names Their Daughter Fan? Fran, I Can Understand As That's A Name But Fan Just Is Not A Name A Fan Is A Way To Keep Yourself Cool When It's Hot But It's Not A Name...

But As I Was Saying, Scrooge Watches As His Sister, Fan, Takes Ebenezer Home In A Carriage With His Father (Who Looks Like That One Guy With The Weird Eye That Always Appears In Adam Sandler Movies) Who Has Gotten Him An Apprenticeship At Mr. Fezziwig's Establishment...

So, Going Forward In Time, We See Scrooge At Fezziwig's Establishment Where They Prepare For Their Christmas Eve Party...

And It's There That Scrooge Met Belle...

Not Her!

But As I Was Saying, This Is Where Scrooge Met Belle And Fell In Love With Her...

Going Forward In Time Once More We Watch As Belle Breaks Up With Scrooge, Believing That He Loves Money More Than He Loves Her...

Now, I Get Why Belle Does What She Does The Story I Get It, But In This Version It Seems Like Despite Loving Money He Still Has Feelings For Her And It's Like She's Trying To Make Him Choose Between Having Money Or Having Her Which Is Just Ridiculous...

It's Like Having To Choose Whether To Have A House Or Live On The Street And I'm Sorry But I Think Any Logical Person Would Choose Having A House...

Not Liking What The Spirit Is Showing Him, Scrooge Kills The Ghost? I Don't Know But He Winds Up Back In His Room, Only For The Second Ghost To Appear, The Ghost Of Christmas Present...

Taking A hold Of The Spirits Robe, They Go One Day Into The Future To Christmas Day As He Takes Him To Bob Cratchit's House As Him And His Family Sit Down For Christmas Day Dinner...

Quick 'll mFact: Cratchit's Wife Is Played By Susannah York, Who Played Marlon Brando's Wife Lara In Both Superman The Movie And The Original Richard Lester Cut Of Superman 2...

Asking About Tiny Tim, The Spirit Tells Scrooge That If These Shadows Remain Untouched, The Child Will Die...

Moving On, They Travel To The House Of Scrooge's Nephew, Fred Where Him, His Wife And Their Friends Play A Game...

Travelling To One More Place Before The Spirit's Time Is Up, He Takes Scrooge To The Poor Row...

(Start At 0:14)

With The Spirit's Time Up, He Abandons Scrooge Where He Is But Not For Long As The Final Ghost Appears Before Him, The Ghost Of Christmas Yet To Come...

Taking Scrooge Into The Future To The Exchange He Hears The Gentlemen Talk About Someone Who Has Died Yet They Never Mention Who...

Taking Scrooge Back To His Room To See The Man Who Has Died But He Does Not Wish To Do That Saying That He Understands However There Has To Feel Emotion Over This Man's Death And Asks The Ghost To Take Him To That Person....

The Spirit Takes Him To See His Maid Selling Some Stuff That Belonged To The Man In Question...

Upset That This Is Not Sadness But Greed And Advirice, Scrooge Asks The Spirit Again To Take Him To Someone Who Cares About This Man...

This Leads The Spirit To Take Scrooge To Bob Cratchit's House Where Scrooge Discovers That Tiny Tim Has Died...

Taking Scrooge To A Cemetery After Showing Him That, The Spirit Shows Him The Grave Of The Man That Died When Scrooge Asks Him Who Is The Man That Died?...

Discovering It To Be Himself, He Tells The Spirit That He Is Not The Man That He Was And That From This Day Forth He Will Honor Christmas...

Waking Up In His Bed, Scrooge Has Been Reborn...

(Start At 0:39, End At 1:38)

Getting Dressed, Scrooge Meets The Boy And The Poulturer And Tells Him To Take It To Bob Cratchit's, Saying That It's From A Friend...

Walking Through The Streets, Scrooge Runs Into The Gentlemen Collecting Money For The Poor, Apologizing To Them And Offering A Unique Sum Of Money...

With The Turkey Arriving At Bob Cratchit's, He At First Believes It To Be A Mistake, But Explaining Everything, They Decide To Cook It For Christmas Dinner. While Scrooge Goes To Fred's To Have Christmas Dinner With Him And His Wife...

(Start At 4:13, End At 7:23)

The Next Day, Scrooge Arrives At Office Before Bob Cratchit And Decides To Play A Little Prank On Bob, By Acting Like His Former Self For A Second Only Instead Of Firing Bob For Being Late, Scrooge Offers Bob A Raise And To Help His Family Anyway He Can..

And That's A Christmas Carol With George C. Scott And Despite One Or 2 Nitpicks I Absolutely Love This Adaptation....

What Say About It? The Way They Handled The Story Is Great, They Had A Good Cast, What Special Effects They Had Were Fantastic I Just Honestly Love This Movie And I Say See It...

Before We Go, I Would Like To Talk About Some Other Adaptations Of The Tale That I Believe Are Worth A Watch...

The Jim Carrey Version, Which Is Probably The Second Most Accurate Adaptation Of Charles Dickens Story Despite People Hating It Because It's Jim Carrey, Mister Magoo's Christmas Carol, Basically A Musical Version Of A Christmas Carol With Mr. Magoo In It, The Stingiest Man In Town, Another Musical Version Of The Tale Done By Rankin-Bass With Walter Matthau As Scrooge, Bugs Bunny's Christmas Carol, A Version Of The Tale Which Has The Looney Tunes As All The Characters From The Book, A Flintstones Christmas Carol, The Flintstones Put On A Play Of The Novel While Hijinks Go On Backstage, The TNT Version With Patrick Stewart, Another One Of The Better Adapted Versions Of The Tale With An Amazing Performance From Patrick Stewart As Scrooge, A Christmas Carol: The Musical, A Musical Version Of The Tale That Aired On NBC That Starred Kelsey Grammar As Scrooge, Jason Alexander As Jacob Marley, Jane Krakowski As The Ghost Of Christmas Past, The Flash's Jessie L. Martin As The Ghost Of Christmas Present And Geraldine Chaplin As The Ghost Of Christmas Yet To Come With Lyrics By Little Mermaid And Beauty And The Beast's Alan Menken...

Now, I Know I Didn't Mention A Few Versions Including The Disney Version And The Muppet Version But Because I'm Going To Talk About Those And Ones That Are Different But Follow The Same Storyline Like Scrooged With Bill Murray Another Time...

So, Until Then, This Is Duke, Signing Off

[writingandhotcocoa]

mountain girl - 4

I keep saying this every time, but you guys make me so happy. I’m very thankful for everything, stay awesome peeps ♥

announcement: When this comes up, I’m going to France on vacation for 3 weeks. Unfortunately, this means that I’ll not be able to upload this series every week. I’m very sorry for this, but when I come back I’ll make sure the next parts will be surprising ;)

Important: When I notice that no one wants me to continue this series, I will put it on a break to write other things  or maybe even stop. So if you want this series to continue, let me know!!! I love to hear your feedback, it gives me motivation ♥

Prompt: The reader grew up in Mount Weather and had never seen the ground. Her best friend is Maya, and they work together. When the 48 come into the mountain, The reader is very interested. She wanted to hear stories about the ground and become friends with the outsiders. But what she doesn’t know is that the situation will change and danger is yet to come. What does she do when all of her new friends are hunted for their bone marrow? What does she do when she meets Bellamy Blake?

Fandom: The 100

Episode(s): 2x11, 2x12

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x Mount weather! reader (eventually)

Word count: 1892

Mountain girl masterlist

The room was dark and filled with thick air, like always. In front of you, the person you searched for hung upside down for their blood. Different tubes went inside his body and his mouth was open.

It was a young man, with brown curls and freckles. You walked closer to him to study him more.

It had to be someone from the ark, but you couldn’t ask him because he was unconscious. You looked around and saw different syringes laying on a table. One read “EPINEPHRINE” and you knew that would wake him up. If the others discovered him he would be dead, so you had no choice.

With force, you put the needle into his leg, and he gasped immediately. He began to start breathing heavily and looked around fast. You bent your knees to talk to him.

“Who are you?” You asked. He took a second to think, and then he looked at you. “You are from the ark, aren’t you?” he nodded.

“(Y/N)?” he said. You frowned, how did he know your name? You nodded slightly.

“How about getting me down (Y/N)?” he said, and you stood up. You grabbed the needles in his chest and ripped them out. The heart monitor went off, and at that moment someone walked in.

You started and looked at the person, Lovejoy.

“Lovejoy, hi,” You said, glancing at the boy from the Ark.

“Hello (Y/N). Do you know what is so special about him?” He said, referring to the boy.

“He’s-” You sighed, “He’s dead”

“So he is” Lovejoy commented, taking a look for himself. He pressed a button what made the boy go down slowly. The boy acted like he was dead, fortunately, and you wondered what his plan was.

Lovejoy started to free him from his chains and immediately got kicked in the face. The boy sat up quickly, freeing himself from the last chain on his foot.

Lovejoy grabbed his gun and shouted at the boy: “Don’t move!” You wanted to help, so you grabbed another syringe and stabbed Lovejoy in his neck. The gun fell to the ground and you rushed to it.

Meanwhile, the boy and Lovejoy were throwing punches at each other, so you pointed the gun at Lovejoy.

“Stop!”

“No, don’t! They’ll hear” The boy said, so you lowered the gun. You had to trust him now. The fighting went on and on and you just stood there, watching. It looked like the boy was losing, but then a grounder girl grabbed Lovejoy’s wrist. The boy got up and grabbed Lovejoy’s neck with much force.

Seconds passed and Lovejoy’s face got more purple and he couldn’t get enough air. And then, it was over. the man fell to the ground, and there was silence. He was dead.

You sighed deeply, looking at the ground. You missed the look the boy gave you.

“Are you alright?” He asked you, and you looked at him. You didn’t answer, so he walked up to you. He laid his hand on your arm.

“I’m fine,” you said, shaking a little bit.

“Help me get him undressed,” he said, and you followed him to the body. What had you done?

The boy you learned was called Bellamy changed in an empty closet, and you waited for him outside. The air felt thicker than before, and you couldn’t realize what happened moments before. Yes, you did what you had to do. And Lovejoy did so too.

Bellamy stepped out of the closet, wearing Lovejoy’s uniform. He looked at you at you for a second, before closing the door. He stepped toward you.

“You’ve done enough. You should walk away”

“You don’t know where you’re going,” you told him. You didn’t kill someone to stop now.

“So draw me a map”

“No, I’m in,” you said, giving him the gun. He looked at you, his eyes shining a little bit.

“Okay. I need to get to the radio to contact Clarke. We heard Jasper’s SOS-”

“My friend helped them set that up. I know where it is” You sighed, you had to tell him about his friends. “Bellamy… The doctors here are obsessed with your friend’s blood. They’ve taken Monty and Harper, but I stopped it for now. I hope...”

“I need to see the others. And thank you for saving them,” He said, and you nodded.

“The dorm’s on the way to the radio. And-” you stopped him from walking away by putting your hand on his chest. Your other hand ripped Lovejoy’s name tag from the uniform.

“Everyone knows everyone here,” You said, and he nodded. You gave him a cap, and you told him to roll up his sleeve. You needed to remove his tracker, so you grabbed a small knife and a bandage.

“I’m sorry, I need to take it out”

“Do it,” He said, giving you his arm. You held it gently and started talking to him as a distraction.

“How did you know my name?” you asked him, cutting his arm. He studied your face closely.

“Clarke said that you helped her escape” You smiled at him, and got the tracker out. He sighed and you put the bandage on his wound.

“Put this in your cage,” You said, giving him the tracker.

“There are 382 people in this mountain,” You told Bellamy while you guided him through the hallways. “If any of them realize you’re not one of us, you’re dead” You scanned your card and got into the elevator.

“We’re on level two and the dorm is on level five. There’s a camera in the upper right-hand corner, keep your head down” The door opened and you stepped inside. Bellamy kept his head down like you told him so, but before the doors could close someone stepped inside. It was a professor of yours.

“Hey (Y/N). You know I missed you in my expressionist class” he said.

“Yeah, I had some work to do” you answered, and Bellamy looked at you. His hand rested on his gun, but you shook your head. By the next level, even more people joined you. You and Bellamy stepped backward, staying in the background.

When you arrived at level 5, you grabbed Bellamy’s hand and walked out of the elevator. But before you could, your professor noticed Bellamy’s wounds.

“Hey, you’re bleeding. Are you alright?” If you wanted Bellamy to be unknown, you had to do something.

“You’re exposed. We need to retrace your steps and find the breach” you said, guiding Bellamy back into the elevator again. “You better go,” You said to the professor. You put your hands on Bellamy’s neck.

“What about you?”

“This is my job, I’ll be fine” He left and you waited for the doors to close. When they did you looked at Bellamy, who was already looking at you. You let your hand down and sighed. This was going to be hard.

You and Bellamy got on the level and you led the way. You walked around the corner to find a class full of kids going inside their classroom. You backed up, pulling Bellamy with you. You watched them until they were all inside, and then walked around the corner.

“Mister?” A kid showed up behind Bellamy and touched his hand. You stood behind Bellamy, smiling at the kid. Bellamy looked at you.

“Are you on the ground unit? My dad’s training for a ground unit” Bellamy was looking at the kid now, still shocked by his sudden appearance. After a painful silence, Bellamy spoke.

“It’s pretty cool up there. I hope he makes it” The kid smiled, and then it occurred to you. You recognized this kid. Before he walked away, the kid looked at you.

“Bye (Y/N)”

“Bye sweetie,” You told him, trying to smile. When the kid walked away, Bellamy saw a nametag on his backpack. You were right. You had killed his father. Your eyes found Bellamy’s, and you tried to hold in your tears.

“They’re just kids”

“I’m pretty sure there were kids in space too,” You said, turning around. “Come, we’re almost there”

When the dorm came in sight, you turned around to face Bellamy.

“There they are,” you said. You saw Jasper and Monty packing their bags, what meant President Wallace had succeeded in stopping the operations.

Bellamy was about to say something when the alarm went off and the doors closed. Two other guards were guarding the door, and Jasper ran to the door on his side. He looked through the glass, and you made eye-contact with him.

“What the hell is going on?” Bellamy asked, but you didn’t know.

“I don’t know. It’s not a breach, but it can’t be good,” Bellamy looked behind him, and his eyes met Jasper’s. Jasper’s eyes grew, he recognized him.

“Get me to that radio” Bellamy said, and you nodded.

“Camp Jaha, this is mount weather. anyone read me?” You and Bellamy had found the radio, and he was now reaching for Clarke.

“Bellamy?” you heard a familiar voice say through the radio. It was Clarke. You walked up to Bellamy and stood beside him, and he looked up at you.

“Clarke?”

“Are you all right?”

“I’m fine. But that’s it for the good news. We have to talk fast, something has changed. Jasper, Monty, everyone is locked in the dorm”

“But they are alive? All of them?”

“I think so, for now. (Y/N) says they are already using their blood. Things will get ugly in here real fast,”

“(Y/N)’s with you?”

“She helped me escape,” Bellamy said, looking into your eyes. “If not for her, I’d be dead” You smiled at him. You did what you had to do.

“And Clarke, there are kids in here. We need a plan that doesn’t kill everyone” Bellamy said.

“I hear you. But we can’t do anything until you disable the acid fog. Raven’s gonna help you”

“Got it. What else?”

“You have to figure out a way to free the grounder prisoners. There is a whole army inside that mountain and they don’t even realize it”

“a Trojan horse. Good plan”

“What does (Y/N) think? Is it doable?” You shook your head slightly, It would take a lot of time to free all of them and it would be dangerous. Bellamy saw you shaking your head but said something else to Clarke.

“She says It’s not a problem” you sighed.

“good”

When you walked outside the room, the familiar sound of your alarm sounded. You turned to face Bellamy.

“They need me,” you said, looking at him. “Please don’t do anything stupid”

“I won’t,” he said, and he send you a look before you walked away.