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iloveromano · 13 days

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Romano x Reader | My Immortal

! Mentions of death, not graphic at all, but read at your own risk if sensitive to this topic !

✎⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

I'm so tired of being here Suppressed by all my childish fears

“[Y/N] was a great friend, a great daughter, we couldn’t have asked for anyone better.”

Lovino was behind the row where [Y/N]’s parents sat—barely listening to whoever was reading out loud the eulogy of his first love on the altar. Blankly staring ahead of him, was a picture of [Y/N], dawned in all sorts of flowers. Roses, tulips, lilies, you name it, but none of the flowers weren’t her favorite.

‘It happened’ Lovino thought. ‘She’s gone’

Looking to his left sat his younger brother, Feliciano, who seemed unable to contain his sobs. Tears running down his cheeks, his elbows on his knees clutching his mouth. Lovino heart broke from the sight of his younger brother in tears. He was heartbroken. He hadn’t seen this ever since the passing of their grandfather. [Y/N] and Feli were the first two to meet. The two met each other at a playground when they were just in elementary school and instantly bonded. Lovino and her didn’t meet until a few months later when Feli introduced them to each other. He always thought she would join Feli in his “silly” activities. Nevertheless, Lovino secretly liked her.

To his right was Antonio, wiping his tears away with a handkerchief. Antonio treated [Y/N] as if she was part of his family. Every time she would come over to his place to visit Lovino, there would always be a delicious plate of his cooking waiting for her on the dining table. Hell, she would even voluntarily help the Spaniard harvest the tomatoes in his backyard.

The chapel was basically filled to the brim. Filled with close and distant relatives, past mentors, new and old friends, and her colleagues, seeing all the people made Lovino’s chest tighten.

Lovino looked down and began to fiddle around with his hands. He caught sight of the bracelet [Y/N] made him a few months ago when she first confessed her love for him. The young Italian’s eyes began to water, blurring his vision. As he blinked, a tear fell to his leg.

“Dammit…” He muttered and stood up.

“Fratello… what’s the matter..?” Feli looked up at his older brother, worry in his eyes. But Lovino walked away without a word, without looking back, and walked straight out of the chapel.

And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave 'Cause your presence still lingers here And it won't leave me alone

Lovino made his way to the garden located near the chapel. He and [Y/N] always went here when his lady wanted some fresh air. He looked around at the scenery.

It was beautiful.

But not as beautiful as the lady he fell in love with.

Slowly walking through the trail, he felt at ease. He felt.. Relaxed. The man felt uncomfortable in the building filled with people, hearing them sob and sniff was driving him insane. Lovino took a deep breath and began walking at a normal pace. The sounds of birds chirping, bunnies running around the grass, and the cat who crawled inside from the other side of the fence. It was like any other day. Oh, if only they knew how terrible this day was.

Lovino approached a certain bench and sat on it. He sat on the right side, the side where [Y/N] always sat. On the handle, was a lock and their initials written on one side, the other side reading “To the moon and back.”

Lovino ran his thumb across the writing and sighed deeply. He took out a cigarette from his pocket and put it in his mouth while reaching for his lighter.

Puffing out a cloud, Lovino shakingly ran his hand through his hair and gripped it as he reached the top of his head.

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase

He whispered to himself, “[Y/N] would kill me if she saw me doing this..” After a few more puffs he threw the cigarette to the ground and stomped on it.

Lovino looked up to the sky. The world seemed so dull as if it was going to rain. There was a reason for it anyway. The world snatched the love of his life from him.

While he was staring at the clouds, a butterfly flew past him. Lovino didn’t pay any mind at first until it began to fly around near him. He looked at the insect curiously until it landed on his arm, the arm where the bracelet rested.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears

Lovino felt the tears beginning to form again, and finally let it all go.

There he was sobbing on the bench, with the butterfly on his arm.

The garden was filled with choked sobs and sniffles.

“God I miss you so fucking much…” The Italian mumbled to himself.

As he stood up, the butterfly flew towards the exit of the garden. From his angle, it looked like the butterfly flew through a passage of light. Lovino wiped his tears with his sleeve and took a deep breath, trying to make it seem like he wasn’t just crying. He began walking back towards the chapel.

And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me

“Lovi! Let’s eat!” Antonio yelled out from downstairs. The smell of different spices filled the house. After not receiving the response, Antonio understood that Lovino was still feeling down and walked over to his room to knock on his door.

Antonio spoke quietly to Lovino’s door, but loud enough for him to hear. “Hoy chico… I’ll put your dinner in the fridge, just heat it up when you feel like eating, si?” The Spaniard walked back towards the kitchen to put up Lovino’s food.

On the other side of the door was Lovino lying on his bed, staring at his ceiling. He hadn’t gotten out of bed except to use the restroom, Toni was beginning to worry and would come in to check on him. Lovino opened his phone to check the time, but every time he did his heart would sink. His lock screen was a selfie of him and [Y/N] while they went on vacation to Rome. He smiled at the picture and unlocked his phone to scroll through more pictures he had with [Y/N].

You used to captivate me by your resonating light Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

The Italian was sitting on the living room couch with his brother watching the cooking channel.

“Gah! What does this idiota Brit know about cooking pasta? He did it completely wrong! There’s barely any sauce on that.. It should be drenched in Tomato sauce, bastardo!” Lovino yelled at the TV. Feliciano jumped slightly at his remark. “Si! You can tell he didn’t put enough love into that pasta ve~”

The two continued to watch the monstrosity taking place on the television until the phone rang.

“Oi mio tomates! Could one of you pick up the phone?” Antonio yelled out from the kitchen. Feli sprang up from his seat volunteering to pick up the phone. Lovino scoffed, propped his legs on the coffee table, and rested his arms behind his head, “Yeah go ahead and do that for me.. I’m too comfortable right now.” Feliciano walked towards the phone and put it against his ear.

“Ciao! This is Feliciano, who is this? Eh? What?!” Feliciano shrieked loudly. Antonio quickly peeked from the kitchen and Lovino turned his head towards his younger brother.

“Ma che cavolo! What’s up with you?!” Lovino snarled, annoyed by his brother’s action. The younger Italian started to tremble and sob quietly. Worried, Antonio rushed over and grabbed the phone from the Italian’s hand. A few seconds after he held the phone against his ear, the Spaniard dropped the phone and was left with a look of shock and terror on his face.

Lovino started to worry a little bit and stood up, turning off the television.

“What’s gotten up with you two?! What’s going on!” Lovino yelled angrily.

Feliciano began to sob harder on the floor, and Antonio walked towards him with sorrow in his eyes.

“It’s [Y/N].”

Lovino’s face turned pale.

“Che–”

“She’s dead. A drunk driver did it.”

Lovino’s ears began to ring. No way this was happening. This isn’t real life. This has to be some sick prank right?

Feliciano ran towards him and hugged him tightly, sobbing into his chest.

Tears started to flood his eyes and wrapped his arms around his brother as he fell onto the ground, crying out in despair.

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase

Lovino’s eyes shot open. He placed a hand on his chest, feeling his heart pounding as if it was going 120MPH. He was in a cold sweat, breathing rapidly. ‘Not again,’ he thought to himself. It was the third time in a row that he had dreamt of the dreaded day of receiving the news regarding [Y/N]. He sat up on his bed and rubbed his face with his hands, taking slow, deep breaths.

Feeling his stomach grumble, he made his way downstairs to reheat the meal Toni had made him hours ago.

After placing his hot meal on the dining table, he took a seat and began to eat.

Lovino looked up at the empty seat in front of him. ‘If [Y/N] was here, she probably would’ve told me to slow down’ he thought. He quietly chuckled to himself and continued to eat as normal.

The meal made him full and topped it off with a cold glass of water. Looking around the room, it was quiet and dark. Lovino began to feel a sense of unease. It was weird not having his lady around. The man sighed to himself and made his way to the living room where he plopped on the couch.

Lovino sat in the same spot for a few minutes until he felt a similar feeling he had the day of the funeral. The image of [Y/N] laying peacefully in her casket popped up in his head once again. The thought made his lip quiver. He was about to cry. He could feel it. But let it out anyway, knowing that no one was around.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years And you still have all of me

Although he wasn’t alone, footsteps were heard coming down the stairs.

Antonio yawned and leaned against the railing of the stairs. “Looks like someone finally got out of bed” Toni stretched and rubbed his eyes but stopped when he began to hear sniffles. Opening his eyes fully, he saw Lovino crying into his hands on the couch. Toni flipped the switch to the living room and sat beside the Italian.

“Mi pequeño tomate…” Antonio placed an arm around the sobbing man.

At this point, Lovino began to cry hysterically. “I… I-I still can’t wrap my head around the fact t-that… that..” As he began to stumble on his words, the Spaniard hushed him and started to rub his back.

“Let it out, Lovi.. I understand. I’m here for you si?” Antonio comforted Lovino. He placed his head on top of his and squeezed his shoulder.

“I’m sad too chico… she was a lovely lady. She loved you a lot, and she still does. Never forget that okay? It’s okay to cry about it now, and it’s okay to cry about it later. She was an important person in our life and we won’t ever forget her.” Lovino’s cries started to die down a bit and turned his head to Toni.

“Whenever I sleep, I see her. When I close my eyes, I see her. She’s everywhere, even though she isn’t.” He looked down and started to play with the hem of his shirt. “I can’t escape her… it’s like she’s following me–” “Do you not want to think about her?” Antonio questioned. Lovino’s head snapped up and shot a glare at him. “Stupido! I never said that!” Antonio chuckled lightly and patted his back, “She’s just visiting you, si? There’s nothing wrong with that at all. When our loved ones pass, they sometimes pop up in our dreams or maybe the world gives us a sign that they’re still with us.” Antonio shifted his body towards Lovino and grabbed his left shoulder.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

“[Y/N] is still here with us okay? Even in spirit, she will always be there for us, chico..” Lovino wiped his tear-stained cheek and nodded his head. “I guess you’re right, bastardo.” He looked forward towards the picture frame of him, [Y/N], Toni, and Feli. That day they were out on a picnic and a butterfly had landed on Feli’s sandwich, which made him freak out a bit. The others however just laughed at him and mocked Feli for his fear of insects. Lovino kept a mental note to thank Kiku for taking the picture the next time he came across him.

Lovino half-smiled, “The day of her funeral when I walked out in the middle of the eulogy, I saw a butterfly in the garden and it landed on my arm.” He looked at the same spot where the insect landed and placed a hand on it. “It was weird, nothing of the sort has ever happened to me..” Lovino said quietly.

Toni smiled softly and leaned his back on the couch. “See? That was [Y/N] letting you know that she’s still here.”

Maybe he was right. Maybe [Y/N] sent out a butterfly to let him know of her presence.

Lovino chuckled a bit and closed his eyes. “The butterfly was pretty, it must’ve been her then.”

Antonio laughed lightly and looked over at the Italian, “Well, I’m going back to sleep. But don’t forget to close the light before you go back to your room!” The Spaniard stood up and made his way back upstairs. “Yeah yeah, I got it.” Lovino lazily exclaimed while shooing his hand at Toni.

As soon as Lovino entered his room he locked the door behind him and turned on the lamp on his bedside. Beside the lamp was a photo strip of him and [Y/N] from when they tried out the photo booth at the mall. They were 2 months into their relationship. The first photo showed the two smiling at the camera. In the second photo, they made silly faces at the camera. The third one they completed a heart with their hands. The final one showed them kissing. Lovino smiled at the picture on the table, remembering the events of that day. [Y/N] decided to kiss him last minute which made him stumble backwards, making him fall out of the booth.

Lovino picked up the strip and kissed [Y/N] on the picture. He set it back down and slipped into his blanket. He took a deep breathe before closing his eyes, falling deep into his slumber.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears

“Oh Lovi~!” Lovino turned around in the direction where the voice came from. There was [Y/N], running towards him with a brown paper bag.

“Oi idiota ragazza!” Facing the woman, he crossed his arms and furrowed his eyebrows, “I told you not to call me that!”

[Y/N]’s cheerful laugh filled his ears. “Heh… sorry I just can’t help it! But listen I have a little gift for you!” She shoved the bag towards his chest. Lovino looked at her with a cocked eyebrow. He slowly grabbed the paper bag from her hands and looked at it curiously.

“Dios mio… What could this be this time– gah! This is probably one of your dumb pranks, isn’t it? Allontanami questo cosa!” He exclaimed and pushed the bag towards [Y/N] again. Lovino glared at her only to be greeted with puppy eyes and a pout.

“Pleaseeeee Lovi!! I promise you won’t regret it!” The shorter girl whined. Lovino let out a defeated sigh, “Fine…” and began to slowly open the bag as [Y/N] cheered in accomplishment.

As Lovino took a peek inside the bag, his eyes widened. The paper bag contained a tomato keychain with [Y/N]’s initials along with a red, green, and white patterned bracelet.

I held your hand through all of these years

“[Y/N].. what is–” “Tada!!! While I was shopping for beads, I found this keychain near the cash register and it reminded me of you! Because you love tomatoes so damn much!” [Y/N] declared happily.

Lovino quickly averted his gaze from the gift and her, in an attempt to hide his blush but failed miserably due to the fact he heard her cooing at him. He took out the contents of the bag and bashfully looked at [Y/N].

“Grazie stupida ragazza..” Lovino mumbled. [Y/N] smiled softly grabbed the bracelet from his hand, and began putting it on his right wrist.

After she put it on and gave the Italian man a soft smile, “I hope you like it… I made sure to use your favorite colours. I made one for myself too so that we’d be matching!”

Lovino blushed even harder– if it was even possible– but returned the smile. “I love it [Y/N]… I won’t take it off, prometto.” And held up a pinky towards her.

[Y/N]'s smile grew bigger and linked her pinky finger along with his. The two got closer and shared a deep kiss.

After a few seconds, the two pulled away and rested each other's forehead on one another.

“I love you, Lovino.”

“Anch'io ti amo, [Y/N]”

You still have all of me…

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Hiya! Thank you so much for reading my first oneshot! This one is quite angsty but I hope you guys really like it!! ^_^

Song: My Immortal by Evanescence

(Sorry for making you dead I hope you can forgive me)

More Romano fanfics coming in the future!

#hetalia #romano #hetaliaromano #south italy #hetalia southitaly #spain #lovinovargas #northitaly #felicianovargas #hetaliaxreader #romanoxreader #angst #hetaliaangst #hetaliaoneshot #oneshot #light angst

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