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multiiversal-a · 2 years

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—— - HUNTER HEADCANONS.

to preface this entire post, this hunter is NOT canon. he follows @weaselcanon and their luz squad au ; he's cookie baka from cottage's timeline. which means many things:

everyone in this timeline is 3-4 years older than in canon currently. that means hunter will be about 20; he stayed with belos longer than canon until he was about 19.

belos does not look like canon, he is a literal monster. he was once human but has been corrupted beyond saving. he is a literal litch king. he made himself a diety to these people, having churches to his name with witches that worship him as a god.

the collector doesn't exist, nor does darius' or willow's dynamic with hunter. these things simply did not exist in this au, nor will they exist as in canon. sorry huntlow shippers, that's just how it is.

also, hunter’s palisman is still rascal. he kept the name cottage gave it because it fit. he judges the multiverse for the majority of them being named.........flapjack.

INTRO. ( pre - cottage / early life )

like canon, hunter is a grimwalker ; at least the 17th golden guard and 18th iteration of belos' friend/brother and belos’ FAVORITE out of all of them.

in the castle, hunter was given the absolute bear minimum. because, to belos, hunter was not a person. plain and simple. he was a tool. a game. hunter was ( according to cottage ) borderline starved. he had a strict diet and did not eat outside of that.

he was kept like a caged bird for a majority of his early life, though he showed promise in his magical and academic abilities, inheriting his position as the golden guard at a young age.

like any other scout, he endured intense military training for years ; however, he started MUCH younger than most coven scouts. like canon, this did at times include mountains and seeing who could make it down alive. that said, he has seen people not survive training.

hunter was physically punished for poor performance ; as that was an embarrassment to the emperor. this was much more frequent when he was younger ( i.e. the scar on his face and notch in his ear ). this was not a thing that was all too frequent as he got older, as belos seems to prefer manipulating hunter.

as is to be expected, belos had this kid indoctrinated to his weird cult - ish religion pretty much since day one. he was wholly and completely loyal to belos and the titan, wholeheartedly believing belos NEEDED him and the titan had BIG PLANS for him. he truly thought everything he helped the emperor do was for the greater good, that’s how he justified it to himself.

prior to meeting cottage, the golden guard WAS his identity. he was so tied into this role that he didn't know how to function outside of that. being the golden guard, going on hunts, that was the closest thing to freedom hunter had... even if it was all superficial.

that being said, his mask became a COMFORT to him and gave him the CONFIDENCE he lacked. he was much more carefree while he was out and about. hunter convinced himself he was ok with this for a long time.

MID. ( with cottage )

at first, he didn't take cottage very seriously at all. to him, she was just “the human”. a nuisance at best. they remained rivals until cottage managed to start to be able to hold her own in fights against him ; THAT’S when hunter started to actually care about her existence ( enough to even learn her name, like damn ).

they started to befriend each other a while before cottage knew his name or saw his face. cottage caring about his existence??? that gave him serotonin. he didn't understand it, but he liked being known. he would eventually start to seek her out on what time he could manage to have off. whether it was to pick fights with her or cause annoying petty problems like BARGING IN while she was at work

even after the event similar to hunting palisman, where he ( albeit unintentionally ) revealed his face, actual persona, and eventually name ; he fell back onto his coping mechanism of wearing his comfort mask. it didn't matter to him that cottage knew his face, the mask gave him the confidence he didn't have, and at that point he was still the golden guard.

cottage..........maybe sorta started seeing hunter as more than the emperor’s right hand and more as a person in a dangerous situation and started trying to help him. there was a lot of push and pull on hunter’s side, he was TOO SCARED to betray belos but he did genuinely care about cottage as a person. at the time, she was the closest thing he had to a friend or even a positive relationship at all, for that matter.

at 18, he played a MAJOR role in belos' initial day of unity. he betrayed cottages trust as per emperor belos' orders and as a result got BOTH cottage and bee badly injured ; for a few moments cottage actually stopped breathing. cottage died. he will NEVER forget how it felt to lose the one person who gave a damn about him, even if it was temporary and she came back later on. how much guilt he harbored ( and honestly, still really has surrounding this event ).

was in an arranged engagement to bee for a while until the marriage was denounced by bee. later was engaged to emira up until he broke his back.

belos actually DID try to kill hunter in the event similar to hollow minds ( which took place when he was about 19 ), he also revealed hunter was a grimwalker... and not the only one at that, to belos, making them was a cruel game and he relished killing them. but that wasn't his last day on the force. after escaping the mindscape, hunter did the one thing he knew to do. desperately plead with his uncle for another chance. again, belos STILL had him under his thumb much to cottage's dismay. this was a relationship of fear, not one of love.

only a few weeks after the mindscape incident, there was a fight with cottage and co versus an EXTREMELY mentally unstable hunter, kikimora ( who was K.O’d pretty much instantaneously ), and belos. not being at his best, hunter ended up CRITICALLY injured in the crossfire of his uncle’s attack and left for dead. cottage saved hunter without hesitation and took him to the treehouse.

even though he had MORE THAN outlived his usefulness and he knew it, hunter wasn’t immediately on cottage’s side. initially, he had been gunning to recover and return to his uncle. unfortunately, even though he KNEW belos hurt him and felt much safer at the treehouse, he felt he had no purpose outside of that existence. that he would SCREW UP every chance he had. and honestly? a lot of it was probably guilt as well. he didn’t think he deserved this chance to be his own person, be genuinely happy, and befriend cottage.

CURRENT. ( defected - traitor )

after a while ( having visited cottage’s family in dominica and visited the familiar islands ), hunter has come to learn that belos is a lot worse than hunter thought. and if he was honest with himself? he liked being free to BE HAPPY and BE A PERSON, really. having his coven sigil removed from his arm, though excruciating in the moment, was probably the most freeing thing for hunter. in that moment, he knew the emperor had NO POWER over him. he’s his own person now.

hunter was granted a role in the luz squad, he gets to screen new entries before the interview process officially begins.

he somehow ended up in the world of kingdom hearts and vanitas found him and tried to murder him ( he might have succeeded had hunter not known how to escape using the multiverse ). yet SOMEHOW hunter fell for him a bit after that? but he’s super awkward about it, neither of them know how to relationship or have feelings for someone. it might not be the healthiest thing, but it’s a thing that exists. they’ve kissed before.

hunter has a pheonix familiar named zettaflare ; courtesy of vanitas who said the fire bird made him think of a powerful spell.

while he was presumed dead for a while, cottage and hunter are not stealthy. he’s been brought into the golden city before. belos knows his FAVORITE golden boy is alive. there are now wanted posters for him ; more than likely so belos can remind hunter of his PURPOSE....or kill him and start fresh with a new grimwalker. who can say.

hunter has.... some kind of dependence on cottage after leaving the coven. perhaps that’s because he left one power dynamic and felt he needed someone there, who really knows. he cares about her a lot, if she were in trouble, he WOULD NOT hold back. if she got hurt? he literally CANNOT mentally afford to lose cottage, he will go ABSOLUTELY APESHIT. hell hath no fury kind of anger. scary.

hunter landed two jobs ; one in a skate shop under roxas and another in a cat cafe under cottage. he is less confident in the skate shop and seems pretty low energy and awkward a majority of the time. in the cafe? while being trained, he was whispering insults to cottage about EVERY customer that walked in.

now hunter is on his social arc, he’s doing things and branching out. making friends. similar to in canon, but much later. he’s turning 20 soon, so he’s DEFINITELY in a slightly different place than he was at 16.

cottage FINALLY got to beat hunter in a head to head dual ; in front of belos and an ENTIRE audience, no less! she’s worked FOUR YEARS for this win! hunter placed second in said competition, and cottage offered to take him to speak to belos.

oh. and they gotta work towards fighting belos soon, that FINAL BATTLE has to happen before the eclipse. cottage promised hunter he could be the one to kill belos IF he was hyped before the battle ; they’re going to fight him as a squad. cottage, bee, bad boy, sunny, iris, lynx, yeehaw, blushy, gus and willow.

TRIGGERS.

due to quite literally being the 18th version of himself, he still has a lot of trauma and discomfort around his identity. his entire identity was quite literally TORN AWAY from him, so he didn’t know who he was or how to react to the pain and confusion that came along with that. he has a poor self image due to this and tries to cover it with an overinflated ego.

replacement / abandonment is a HUGE thing for him. even before finding out more of him can just be created, he had been conditioned with the mindset that he is dispensable. that “it’d be a hassle to find a replacement”. the threat doesn't even have to be real, even if its a perceived threat he's GOING to react negatively and/or irrationally.

religious trauma. for... obvious reasons. but seriously, seeing organized religions ( even in the human world ) gives him memories of having been abused using religion as a tool or weapon. for the most part, he just goes quiet if this is the case, though.

power dynamics ; he reacts negatively to being parented. it does not work. someone could be the nicest person, but the MOMENT they try and establish a role above him in his life he is GOING to freak out. there is a difference with adults caring about him and them trying to take on a parental role in his life. hunter is well past the window where he’s looking for an adult like that for his life ; he spent wayyyyy too long trying to earn belos’ love and approval, he’s given up on having that in his life.

#「 teen prodigy┊hunter 」#/ tw abuse #/ tw spoilers #/ long post #/ i finally finished this

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sepublic · 4 years

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We should also remember that Lilith grew up in what is basically a cult for like thirty years; And it’s not exactly her fault for wanting to join it considering how many kids are indoctrinated into wanting to, no less… Obviously it’s Lilith’s fault for throwing her sister under the bus for her own dream, but besides that-

Aside from Lilith always trying to protect Eda from the Emperor’s Coven whenever she had the chance (like burning up those wanted posters at Covention or protecting her from the Conformatorium in Once Upon a Swap), I have to wonder… Would it change Luz and Eda’s perspective on Lilith, if they learned about Belos threatening to execute her? I think hurting Luz is the thing Eda is rightfully most angry about, and Luz… Well, we’ll have to see because she cares more about Eda than herself, clearly.

But regardless, I have to wonder if their opinions on Lilith would change if they found out that Belos had told Lilith that he’d basically kill her within a couple of hours if she didn’t accomplish the extreme task of defeating and capturing her own sister for him- Coupled with the fact that Eda herself is on the line, because Belos specifically alludes to what happens to ‘covenless witches’, which Eda is very much one.

To Lilith, her influence as Head Witch is the only thing keeping Belos from killing Eda, it’s her word and favor for her sister that lets Belos give her a chance- And Eda and Luz did both acknowledge that the curse was worsening and would condemn her to a ‘fate worse than death’, and Lilith herself knows about the worsening state of the curse herself. It’s terrible she caused the curse to begin with, but again- She really thought it’d be so much less than it actually was, and she’s been working her entire life to undo it. Now there are obviously things Lilith neglected to do out of blatant cowardice (like confessing the truth), but I think there might be more sympathy if Eda and Luz understood that- Yeah, Lilith was genuinely trying to protecting her AND Eda’s life at the time.

She didn’t aim for Luz to get hurt, and she didn’t immediately try to hurt Luz until it was clear that Eda was beating her and time was running out- And Lilith didn’t aim to actually kill Luz, just force Eda to use up her magic to protect her… There’s still that expectation that Luz WILL be saved, even if Lilith is recklessly endangering this kid’s life regardless- But again, Lilith herself has her own life to fear and Belos is making it clear he WILL carry through on his threat- This isn’t just her livelihood at stake, it’s her life, directly! Then there’s Eda, whose curse inevitably will get worse and condemn her to a ‘fate worse than death’ and like…

You can better understand WHY Lilith resorted to that; And only as a last resort, in the last remaining hour/minutes until her deadline, after thirty years… And how as soon as Eda is captured, Lilith stops trying to hurt Luz and happily goes on her way. Of course, telling Luz to go back to her own world was an unnecessarily supreme dick move on Lilith’s part. Still, Lilith basically has a gun to her AND Eda’s heads at this point, and expects Luz to be rescued by Eda anyway; She wasn’t necessarily aiming to kill Luz to save her life, just endanger her. Objectively horrible, but then people tend to not do the most moral things when their own dictator is directly watching- Sometimes you have to do what you can to survive.

Lilith harming Luz is another example of her being reckless and not considering consequences, because she’s panicking over what she might lose and lacks the confidence to take any chances she’s not completely certain of- Hence why she never approaches Eda for help both when she wants to join the Emperor’s Coven as a kid, nor when Belos threatens her decades later… And in the latter situation, Luz DID just sort of drop into Lilith’s grasp unprompted- Lilith didn’t deliberately seek Luz out, even if she didn’t ever intend to take her as a hostage, Luz still broke the law by trying to steal the Healing Hat from Belos’ castle, so Lilith is still obligated to arrest Luz regardless; Especially when she knows that Belos IS watching. And if Luz is already here and in Lilith’s grasp because of Luz’s own actions, because Eda –presumably- let her go on this field trip, and Eda should be expected to pick up Luz anyway, then…

Again, I see parallels to how King didn’t really WANT to use that shrinking potion on Willow and Gus- But then out of nowhere, someone drops it into his hands without King asking, and then things just sort of happen and suddenly he has to deal with the consequences that he’s not totally responsible for, so- He may as well make the most of it, right? That scenario is much more like Lilith using Luz, of course- Whilst her cursing Eda is still very much her own fault, since she went out of her way to buy a curse at the Night Market and spend her own snails and was rather committed… Not entirely because she thought it’d just be weakened magic for a day, but alas.

So, I can see Eda and Luz forgiving Lilith, or at least being willing to hear her out and understand her, if they should know about this… But I also wouldn’t blame them for still being justifiably angry at her, because Lilith still genuinely hurt them and did things she didn’t have to, despite warnings. I think either option makes sense, and I can see Eda and Luz alternating between both as they settle on their feelings. It’s really up to them, and I support whichever option they choose, because it’s very easy to see where they’d be coming from if they either forgave Lilith, or still had plenty of issues afterwards.

#the owl house #toh #the owl house lilith #lilith clawthorne #the owl house luz #luz noceda #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #meta

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bigshoeswamp · 4 years

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Since Agony of a Witch, I’ve been thinking a lot about knowledge and learning in The Owl House up until now. I think they’re building up some amazing commentary regarding these topics, so I thought I’d share some of what I’ve been thinking here.

The show’s portray of the opportunities to pursue knowledge has been great and very fresh since day one. At the beginning of the series, we’re introduced to Luz as she is having problems at school basically for being weird and wild. She’s clearly really interested the school activities, but her ideas just don’t fit there.

The fact that she’s coded as someone with adhd really matches this characterization. She is enthusiastic about learning, but the system isn’t working for her, or, well, she isn’t working for the system… So she must get sent somewhere to fix her bad habits, somewhere she can be taught to act “normal”... A Camp literally called “Think Inside the Box”.

That’s the start of the show, and there a lot of the recurring themes are laid out: 1. The system of learning in a world such as ours as rigid and harmful 2. The experiences of those who break the rules and reinvent their pursuit of knowledge 3. The system as a mechanism of control and concentration of power in the hand of a few

From then on, we get to see these topics flashed out in a lot of diverse and interesting ways.

First, of course, there’s Eda – a witch who has broken the rules and surpassed the limitations imposed in her pursuit of knowledge and became super powerful. I LOVE Eda’s character so much. It’s amazing to think about how much she breaks the witch’s classed stereotype of “breaking the rules” and “pursing power and knowledge” as inherently bad and greedy. In a system that’s built on controlling and manipulating the access of knowledge for those within it, breaking the rules is an act of resistance.

Thinking of Eda makes me remember the hunting of witches through the Middle Ages and, in general, the denial of access to learning for women through history, and how the attempts from any of them to break those limitations were met by villainization and persecution.

Besides Eda, we see these topics arise in multiple instances. In Willow’s failure at being a witch for feeling forced to choose a track she isn’t good at and doesn’t like. In Amity’s strive to be the best and being one of the few to really have access to control and knowledge… and the hurt that comes with that – for her and for those around her. The misfits from The First Day and how excited for learning, creative and resourceful they were (and how they were helped by Eda’s legacy).

I don’t want to write too much here, so I’ll stop enumerating there, but I think the show has been doing an amazing job of setting up a multifaceted view on these topics, going from the narrative of multiple characters to a systematic world-building.

And that’s where we come to Agony of a Witch and Emperor Belos’ rule. From the beginning of the episode, we get to remember and learn more about how indoctrinated the kids on the Boiling Isles are about the cult to Belos’ image and reign.

One of my favorite scenes of the show is the one where Kikimora is telling the story of Belos’ reign – the covenless witches being depicted as savage, and Belos as a saving and helping force. The narrative of the division and classification of knowledge as necessary, but in reality being a mechanism of control that keeps Belos all-powerful.

I loved the revelation of the falseness of Belos narrative through the painting with the witches in terror so much! And the development of his coven system as a mechanism of control, where only a select few, those closest and most loyal to him, can be really powerful was amazing.

There are a lot of parallels with out world to make there: Colonization and the ruling of the colonized peoples as savages – ignorant and foolish, lacking any valuable knowledge since their worldview and values didn’t match the colonizer’s. The construction of a very narrow scope of possibilities of self-realization under Capitalism, always involving competition and the limitation of oneself. The inventing of the sciences as we know it today since the Illuminism by the division and hyper specialization of the pursuit of knowledge -leading to a loss of autonomy and control by the population. And so on!

The show is doing an amazing job at showing the consequences of a controlling and authoritarian system of government to the possibilities and narratives that permeate the lived of those under it – from the most personal sphere to the politics behind it all.

I’m super excited to see what comes next in TOH regarding these topics!

#the owl house #the owl house meta #idk if i managed to communicate things very well #but take this

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sepublic · 4 years

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Lilith’s Curses- The Crane Wives

I really feel like Curses by The Crane Wives just… FITS Lilith perfectly as a song- Specifically a song from Lilith’s perspective, how she feels about Eda, her own guilt over the curse, the moral dilemma she’s facing, and the loneliness that Lilith feels. Looking at the lyrics;

There’s a fire in my brain and I’m burning up

Oh my, oh my

Keep running for the sink but the well is dry

Oh my, oh my

Every word I say is kindling

But the smoke clears when you’re around

Won’t you stay with me, my darling

When my walls start burning down?

I’ve talked before about how Lilith has a bit of a Fire motif going on, and how Fire seems to be related to the Emperor’s Coven, as well as characters who want to join it (Amity) or subscribe to the same ideas of hierarchy and power (Boscha). Belos’ own throne room is lit up by burning braziers… And we see Lilith with spells that cast blue fire. And, I think this motif is symbolic of just how destructive these characters can be, both towards themselves and others- And how Lilith is someone who no doubt felt a lot of immense pain over cursing Eda, over her one-time mistake as a child that spiraled far beyond anything she could’ve expected.

Lilith is hurting herself by joining the Emperor’s Coven, indoctrinating herself into its toxic beliefs and cult-like mentalities… And she hurts others; Such as wild witches, Eda, Luz… And there is that horrible implication that some wild witches are burned at the stake as execution, given that one poster in the library, as well as the giant furnace in Belos’ castle. Not only that, but ‘Fire in my BRAIN’ specifically? I think this can apply to how Amity tried to burn Willow’s memories, so they both could get forget and pretend the past never happened… And I think this could create the image of Lilith willingly burning away her own memories just to cope, and/or how she damaged Eda’s memories with the curse. Lilith, like Amity, set a fire that hurt someone’s mind- But it’s Lilith herself who is the victim, it’s Lilith who tries to blind herself and ignore the corruption of the Emperor’s Coven, and hopes that Eda can one day join her.

You have Lilith ‘running for the sink’ but the ‘well is dry’, because she doesn’t know how to cope, she definitely can’t in a toxic environment like the Emperor’s Coven. Every word she says is kindling- The propaganda she preaches just buries Lilith further into her sins, each lie uttered by her about the curse just contributes to the unnecessary pain… And every word that Lilith says during her confrontation with Eda in Agony of a Witch, culminating to her specific confession of the curse? One might say it nearly burned the bridge between her and Eda…

But the smoke clears when Eda is around- Because then Lilith remembers, Lilith finds comfort, she can go back to those old days when they were happy together and not in this kind of pain. One could also interpret the smoke clearing, because Eda combats the Emperor’s Coven and its fire motif- I’ve talked about Eda having a Wind motif, and we know that wind can blow away smoke… Of course, even when Belos is ‘burning down’ the Boiling Isles, Lilith asks for Eda to be with her, at any cost- Even when the walls are burning down, even if being in the Emperor’s Coven is going to hurt Edalyn in the long run; Because Lilith wants her sister back so desperately that she might just hurt her, as we see when she willingly depletes Eda’s magic to capture her.

Obviously Lilith believed that it’d all come back as soon as Belos cured the curse- But there’s the idea of Lilith being possessive of Eda, wanting her sister by her side at all times… Downplaying Eda’s connections with other people, with Lilith finally taking the step to disregard Eda’s freedom when Belos threatens her. Lilith traps Eda with her, in a bubble, in the Emperor’s Coven- Inside a throne room with two massive, burning braziers… And Lilith’s walls are burning down because her world-view is collapsing around her, Belos is threatening to execute her, Eda is fighting her, her belief in the Coven System is being shattered.

She just desperately needs Eda’s guidance throughout this process, even if it’s at Eda’s expense. Lilith wants Eda to help and provide for her, but… She’s not quite ready to give Eda what her little sister truly deserves, either- Lilith’s offered some support by bending the law, but she needs to give true unconditional love and support, by siding with Eda openly against the Emperor’s Coven. Lilith wants Eda’s validation- But she still has plenty to give to her own sister. In the season finale, we even get the two being executed together; Had Lilith not acted to capture Eda, it would’ve been JUST her… But thankfully Luz saves them all in the end.

Still, there’s that recurring theme of Lilith being toxic to Eda, dragging her down, inhibiting Eda’s freedom and expression of self by bringing her sister down with her, just for Lilith’s selfish sake and comfort. Lilith asks Eda to stay with her, even as her walls come burning down… Just as Lilith’s spell-barrier is breaking apart, and her ‘walls’ come down as she opens up, and reveals the truth about the curse, about how she’s been feeling, as her mature and innocent façade falls apart. And when the truth and who Lilith really is, is laid bare to Eda- Lilith tries to negotiate, in essence desperately begging Eda to still love her sister and be with her, and to stay with Lilith even after her guilt is unveiled, all in the midst of Lilith using Luz as a hostage.

This house is my name like an elegy

Oh my, oh my

Echoing where my ghosts all used to be

Oh my, oh my

There’s still cobwebs in the corners

And the backyard’s full of bones

Won’t you stay with me, my darling

When this house don’t feel like home?

We don’t know where Lilith lives- But we did see concept art of Lilith’s room, and the window implies it could be within Belos’ castle. Belos’ castle, Lilith’s old childhood home where she cursed Eda- Both work here as places that no doubt feel largely empty and haunted to Lilith for a number of reasons… Her old home because it’s where her happiness and childhood both thrived and died, where the young Lilith we saw disappeared and was replaced by the dark-haired one without glasses; And Belos’ Castle, because of how cold and cut-off it is, how isolated and lonely Lilith feels within the massive, empty architecture. Regardless of where she lives, Lilith doesn’t feel like she’s at home, because home is where you feel safe, where you feel like you belong…

That’s the importance of the Owl House, as a location that provides belonging and comfort, and the freedom to be oneself- A TRUE family… The Emperor’s Coven is no family for Lilith and she knows it, so she asks Eda to come over and MAKE it that way… She wants Eda to be with her ‘real’ family, or make that family for her real. And that’s what Lilith tries to do, ascending the ranks, looking up to Belos- But Belos doesn’t care, he just sees her as another tool. Lilith also mentions an ‘elegy’, she’s mourning her past self and how it ‘died’, she’s lamenting her lost connection with Eda, and the Eda she loved- Acting like she’s dead, when in reality she still lives on in spite of the curse… And this was who Eda always was.

Perhaps Lilith’s ideal image of Eda was shattered, who knows? Lilith misses the young Eda, the simpler one that wasn’t cursed and wasn’t defying the Coven System, and she mourns for her like she died… Eda still lives, Lilith just wishes she was different, that she’d be like she used to be, because then they could be in the Emperor’s Coven together like they dreamed- Lilith wants Belos to ‘resurrect’ the Eda she missed. And Lilith- Lilith might mourn her old, innocent childhood self as well. She certainly doesn’t look like her anymore… The backyard’s full of bones- Lilith’s skeletons in the closet, as well as the fact that Belos’ castle likely has a LOT of people dead or dying in it thanks to his executions.

Oh ashes, ashes, dust to dust

The devil’s after both of us

Last my curses out to rest

Make a mercy out of me

Lilith has been burning the bridge between her and Eda to ash, and she wishes she hasn’t- But she’s too scared to defy the Emperor’s Coven, and she doesn’t fully understand Eda’s reasoning, even if deep-down she kind of wants to. The ‘Devil’ is of course Belos, hunting down wild witches or recruiting them into his coven- He’s horned, monstrous, and burns people. The devil could also be retribution for one’s sins, and boy does Lilith have plenty! And she sees Eda as having a few due to being a ‘criminal’. We also have Lilith, who just wants to lay her guilt to rest, lay the curse to rest by killing it with Belos’ help… She just wants mercy from others, from herself and Eda through forgiveness. She wants mercy from life, Lilith wants to finally be freed from the curse, but she never will be…

She can never rest, there’s even more work to do now that she’s changed her heart and needs to make things right. Though because Lilith is no longer focusing on just the curse as of the finale, and has finally shared it with Eda- Perhaps that issue has finally been put to rest, at least for now, so Lily can repair her relationship with Eda. Lilith confessed and now the secret is gone… And Lilith gets mercy from Eda, who tries to strike down her sister at the Conformatorium, until King vouches for Lilith’s defense. Lilith also wanted mercy from Belos, wanted him to be forgiving of her mistakes- But she finds the only person she can get this from is someone who DOES love her, Eda.

This tired old machine is a-rumbling

Oh my, oh my

Singing songs to the secrets behind my eye

Oh my, oh my

All my aching bones are trembling

And I may yet fall apart

Won’t you stay with me, my darling

When the war starts in my heart?

Lilith is tired, she’s getting older now and wasted so much of her life in the Emperor’s Coven, and trying to cure the curse. She’s tired of the guilt, tired of the work, etc. The Emperor’s Coven reduces individuals to mindless, robotic followers… And Lilith is beginning to break at the seams and give away, she can’t handle this anymore. She’s too lonely, and Lilith knows that she and Eda are running out of time in a lot of ways- In regards to their lifespan, Belos’ patience, their time before the curse takes over, their time before it’s too late to fix things between them…

Lilith is about to have an emotional breakdown, and then she finally does- That’s why she confesses to cursing Eda during their duel. The mask is breaking and who Lilith is, how she really feels, lonely and guilty and afraid, uncertain, it’s coming out… Lilith’s got secrets behind her eye, all right; The knowledge of the curse, and now that secret IS on her eye, as of the season finale. And that happened because of a verbal spell that rhymes, the way a song might…

Even after it’s revealed, Lilith still wants Eda to be with her; She NEEDS Eda to be with her, to help Lilith settle the conflict in her heart, as she’s torn between loving Eda, feeling resentment… Wanting to join the Emperor’s Coven, wanting to be with her sister; Knowing deep-down that the Emperor’s Coven is corrupt, but being too afraid to defy it openly… Hating herself but paradoxically buying into the propaganda that she’s superior to others.

Lilith is having a crisis on what to do/believe, she’s a walking contradiction pulled between two options, and she needs Eda as comfort- Either to encourage Lilith to side with Eda, or to have Eda go with her to the Emperor’s Coven. Lilith needs to be told what to do, because her life in the Emperor’s Coven taught her not to think for herself, she cursed Eda not because of her own judgment but because she thought it was what Belos would do. In the end, the decision ultimately boils down to just Lilith, as all of the effort in the world to change someone’s mind won’t do a thing, if they don’t wantto change.

Lilith has to choose between what she really loves, wants, and values in life- She has to choose between the Coven System and Eda. And Lilith desperately wants Eda to recognize that she’s having a crisis herself, that she’s not as perfect as she claims, that Lilith too is struggling… Lilith wants Eda to acknowledge this, that Lilith IS working and trying to make things better between the two of them, and why can’t Eda just acknowledge and appreciate this?

That’s why we have our last new line from this song, with the rest being repeated lyrics; “Tell me I am good enough”. Lilith has struggled with not being good enough for the Emperor’s Coven, not good enough for Belos… Not good enough for Eda, not as strong as her… Not as independent and brave, and Lilith feels like Eda is judging her for this, with Eda apparently thinks she’s always been better. Lilith wants, she desperately NEEDS and craves validation- To be told she’s good enough, just like her apprentice Amity.

She’s tired of feeling undervalued, of feeling terrible and inferior, insignificant, that she always makes mistakes- She just wants someone to tell her for once that she did what she could, that Lilith tried her best, and it’s enough! Lilith wants someone to ignore her shortcomings and say she’s perfect and has nothing to improve on, that for once she DID make the right decision and has nothing to apologize for, hence why she’s stubborn about acknowledging how kidnapping Luz was unjustified because it’s for and Eda’s sakes. Lilith wants to be told that her victories against Eda were real and valid, and not the result of cowardly tactics and Eda not even giving it her all… Lilith wants to believe she’s good enough to be by Eda’s side, maybe even better- Or good enough to cure the curse, to have her efforts at least appreciated by Eda.

But at the same time, Lilith wants someone to tell her that she never needed to ‘prove herself’, not by joining the Emperor’s Coven or anything else- And that this reassurance can help her leave and finally reconnect with Eda. If only Lilith had been told she was good enough, she never would’ve tried to take Eda’s spot in the Emperor’s Coven away from her… Lilith’s insecurity and feelings of inferiority are at the root of all of her flaws and mistakes in life, and if she can be told that she’s good enough, just this once, or that she feasibly CAN be at least- Then maybe she can finally make things right.

And now, as of the finale- Lilith wants someone to tell her that she’s good enough, that her efforts have been recognized, that either she’s earned love, or has always been worthy of it- Lilith wants to be reassured that she deserves love and can even get it in the first place. She wants to be told that she doesn’t have to earn anything, after feeling like she’s had to work for everything in her life, Lilith is already entitled and due just for existing.

And, at the Owl House… I really think she will get that kind of validation, and finally be able to heal as a result. Lilith can learn to agree with Eda that nobody has to prove they’re worth of dignity, respect, and love- Everybody is, that’s a right you really have to work to forfeit by being cruel to others. Lilith wants to be absolved of the guilt and blame in ways that aren’t productive, such as ignoring her own flaws… And ways that ARE, by recognizing that the Coven System has genuinely hurt and indoctrinated her, and failed to provide in ways it promised.

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