#m!fenhawke

[jjthebunbun]

Narrative Foil to This Sketch I made. Both created in 2021.

[perlen-gold]

He covers his maimed face, as if to shield, as if he can block the lyrium’s aching glow out. His voice is a distorted, cracked thing, disastrous and broken. He slips his right hand to his chest where his heart, tripping, blundering, beats its fractured agonizing beats. The weeps wreathing themselves from his split lips have his eyes shut against the sudden splendor of the bluish veins and their torturing power. It tethers him to life. It grinds life’s boundaries in his skin right over his heart.

His cries have shrunken to hoarse groans and he draws sharp, shallow breaths between them when a voice breaks into them.

“Fenris?” Aveline, alarmed.

He sees her not, hears not.

More words. The fire has long since drawn it’s last breath, leaving nothing but chillness in the old estate. The rustling of paper. Gasps.

“Fenris.”

“Fenris!”

More versions of his name, his unimportant name.  The only name which matters is falling, soundlessly, from his lips like winter’s hail.

A hesitating touch. Tentatively, Donnic tries to place both his hands on his shoulders. Fenris roars then like the sea waters rising to crash dykes and stonewalls, the red cloth still cradled against his heaving chest. He throws them from him, the lyrium growing teeth sharp and long, a white-hot thunderbolt in the biting-dark chamber. They retreat with fear. Donnic exhales, apprehensive and torn. Merrill flinches and recoils, her hand only inches from him before. Her face is a burial shroud white.

Their words mist around him as ghosts. Time and sound blur like melting watercolors into incomprehensibility. „Come, Fenris. You must not stay here.“ „Show … show me the letter.“ „Is it …?“ „It is Varric’s writing.“ „Come on. Up you get …“ „Listen to me –“ „Fenris …“ They kneel around him, Aveline standing behind them, near. His raucous voice still carries more power than Fenris would have expected as he roars again, teeth showing, the strained stream of their words lost with Hawke’s yelled name. Merrill tentatively tries to stroke his hair. She shrinks back from the lyrium-rivulets‘ renewed sudden flare. Tears wet the stone where she is kneeling like soft summer rain.

All of a sudden, Fenris stands.

Merrill and Donnic slightly back away from him. They stare at his ravaged features

„Where?“ He means to shout but his throat is only the inept rasping of leaves in a breeze, his chest blasted wide.

„We … we do not know, Fenris,“ Merrill whispers. Aveline steps toward him. Her face is gray, bloodless.  Wet. Light green eyes sharp with tears. Donnic tries again, standing next to him. „Listen, Fenris …“ Aveline looks at Fenris‘ contorted face. His convulsed features which she has known for so long. Almost appalled. He staggers. A deep, abyssal rumble like a beast’s growl forces itself out from someplace chasm-deep within him. „Where?“ he repeats. His voice has never sounded this low. It glints with the crimson stains in his hair from his fingertips. Each trembling breath a shudder.

Aveline’s eyes meet her husband’s only for a split second. There is something in those light green eyes he can understand but not see anymore. „No one,“ huskily, Aveline speaks, pale determination on her face, „knows for sure where they – “

A vicious, fierce scarlet rage comes and he nearly draws his sword. ���Where?“ Aveline takes a step back. He has never seen her do something like it in all their years. But out of the corner of his eye he sees the scribble in the bottom left corner on the letter in Merrill’s shaking hand.

His sword in his hand.

Wild murder in his heart.

They dare not follow him. Keep reading on AO3 / Read from the beginning

[pinkfadespirit]

Hello! I see you're taking prompts for DADWC, so how would you feel about "“Was that… blood magic?”" for m!Fenhawke? :eyes:

Hi! Thank you for the prompt! This one was just begging for some angst and I have provided. Here is some Fenris/blood mage Hawke, 1418 words, angst without much sign of a happy ending - at this point anyway.

Written for @dadrunkwriting

During the time it took them to set up camp, Fenris hadn’t said a word. He was never the type to fill silence with empty chatter and Hawke had always liked that about him. He might have put it down to that if not for the feeling that this silence was rather more pointed than usual. It was in the way he caught Fenris looking at him from across the camp in certain moments. Every time Hawke met his gaze, those sharp green eyes would slide away, his mouth set in a line that was slightly too tight to be classed as indifferent.

He knew. 

Hawke didn’t know how. He’d been careful. Or he thought he had. He’d been bleeding anyway, so he hadn’t had to cut himself. And he was becoming so used to it now; when his mana was strained, that additional well of power was so easy to reach for. What once had felt monstrous, now instinctive. And without it, they’d possibly be dead. 

That excuse wouldn’t matter to Fenris, though. If Fenris was even willing to talk to him long enough to hear it.

He found out the answer to that particular question soon enough. When they’d finished putting up their tents, shared a simple meal and started to pass around a flask that Varric had stored away in his pack. Hawke watched Fenris refuse as it was offered to him, and not long after that, no sooner than the flask had arrived in Hawke’s waiting hands, Fenris was out of his seat and approaching him. 

“I would like to speak with you.”

Hawke didn’t think this was a confrontation he wanted to have on the Wounded Coast, with the rest of their group close by, but he could see from the look on Fenris’ face that it would happen whether he liked it or not. Hawke brought the flask to his lips and took a long swallow, ignoring the way it burned as he passed it back to Varric without ever meeting the dwarf’s gaze.

He got to his feet without a word and walked away from the camp, knowing Fenris would follow. 

They must have been out of earshot by the time Fenris spoke, but Hawke still wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear it. 

“I saw you back there,” he said and Hawke’s mind was cast back immediately to several years ago—four, if he had to take a guess—when they’d stood outside the Hightown mansion that was to become Fenris’ and he’d spoken in that same tone. Like Hawke was a stranger. Back then he had been. Tonight, he could hear the unspoken suggestion in his words that he might as well be now. Sometimes Hawke thought back to the man he was then and the one his years in Kirkwall had turned him into and felt the same way. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

Perhaps the vehemence, the betrayal in that question should have made him pause but instead Hawke found himself wondering what he even had to lose. When everything seemed to fall apart and every attempt he made to save what was left seemed to backfire spectacularly.

“You never have before now,” Hawke found himself sighing, in a moment of what was either honesty or self-sabotage. 

Fenris gave no answer right away and eventually Hawke couldn’t stand it. He stopped and turned to look at whatever damage his words had done. Fenris had stopped too, further back than Hawke had realised, his bare feet having made little sound on the sandy ground. His body was rigid, his face twisted with a look of betrayal that was enough in that moment to make Hawke regret every decision that had brought him to this point. Almost. Because this was bad, yes—Fenris was the last person he ever wanted to discover the truth—but at least he was alive to know it. 

“Then it’s true…” Fenris’ face was in darkness, the moons above them not enough to illuminate the finer details of his features this far from their campfire. So perhaps Hawke was imagining it when he thought he saw a sliver of vulnerability creep through from beneath the hard look Fenris was giving him. “No. Tell me clearly, Hawke, back in the caves—was that blood magic?”

“You know it was.” There was no point in pretending otherwise. As much as Fenris clearly wanted to be wrong, he was no fool. He wouldn’t believe a lie now he’d seen the truth. “We were almost overwhelmed and I was out of mana… I did what I had to do.”

“Is that what you expect me to believe?” Fenris spat. “That you had no choice?”

“You were there, Fenris. You saw how bad it got. What choice do you think I had?”

“Any but that.” Fenris was seething. Hawke had seen him angry before but never at him, not truly. The few times he’d found himself on the receiving end of Fenris’ anger, it had always been meant for someone else. He felt the brunt of it now but it didn’t make him afraid. The thought of what might have happened if Hawke hadn’t acted had frightened him more. 

“I thought…” Fenris almost continued before cutting himself off.

“What?” Hawke grunted back at him, not sure he wanted to hear the answer but not quite able to leave it either. “What did you think?”

Fenris shook his head. “I believed you to be different.”

It stung just like he thought it would, that inevitable conclusion to Fenris finding out the truth. 

“Is it so terrible? Does it make me so like a magister that I want to keep you alive? That I would do anything to keep you that way?”

Fenris didn’t so much as hesitate. “Yes.”

It was the certainty that hurt more than anything. He didn't even need to hear Hawke out. He had decided already. But then, Hawke supposed he’d already known it. From the beginning he knew this was one thing Fenris would never forgive. 

"It is in your arrogance," Fenris sneered, "believing you get to decide when it is justified."

"Arrogance," Hawke scoffed back at him. "What do I have to be arrogant about when I keep losing everything? I'm supposed to be Champion of the bloody city and I'm still living under Meredith's thumb."

But Fenris appeared so unmoved Hawke could only guess he believed it was necessary. Did the blood magic even matter really? Even before that, there had always been a part of Hawke that Fenris had hated. There had been a time he'd thought that was something he could change. But now it was impossible. He could see it in the way Fenris looked at him. The trust he'd once had in him was gone. 

"But you don't care about that," Hawke sighed.

"Do not presume to know what I am thinking."

"Tell me then…" It was a long shot but he asked all the same. "Is there anything I can do to save what's left of our friendship?"

"Give it up. No more blood magic."

"The blood magic is what saved you today."

"And it will destroy you. Believe me, Hawke," for the first time a pleading note entered Fenris' voice, "I have seen it happen."

He could see the way out Fenris was offering him, a way to put right what he'd feared from the start might be a mistake. What he didn't know was if he could trust it.

"If I told you I would give it up would you even believe me?"

He could just make out the furrow in Fenris' dark eyebrows, the expression that said just how damaged the trust he had in him was. And it seemed to him then that whatever hope he might once have had of Fenris returning to him, not just as a friend but as the man he'd been desperately in love with for four long years, was now truly lost. 

He shook his head. "I won't lie to you anymore. If I have the power to keep you safe you know I'm going to use it. Even if you hate me for it."

Fenris didn't seem to have an answer to that. He shook his head and turned away in disgust. Just as he seemed about to walk away he paused. "You are not the man I thought you were."

Hawke thought to himself sadly, as he watched Fenris walk away, that he’d always suspected that might be the case.

[snacobie]

Been missing da2 lately

[lunehowls]

bilingual 

[stealingpotatoes]

hawke hawke part 4: you’ll never guess who @highladyofdusk and i were romancing

(commission info // kofi support!)

[pickleforstony]

Fenris rivalmance

[junie-junette]

I wish you all a very nice weekend with a soft morning kiss between Hawke and Fenris ! I was like coming home, drawing them again so I hope you'll like the drawing !

The joy of finding an old forgotten WIP in my files haha ! Fenhawke will still have the place n°1 in my heart ! ♡

[daggerbeanart]

Zzzzz

[00wormwood]

testing out a new brush i made

[project-walrider]

About time I did this

[perlen-gold]

Just in case ...

Just in case anybody out there needs a super angsty m!fenhawke fiction... 

... oh, and just in case you don’t: Start running RIGHT NOW!

Yes, please, make me cry! I forgot to run! Well shit, I ran but wasn’t quick enough!

[privatebooth]

No rest for the wicked.

[voukkake]

This two mfckers

[lunehowls]

hey im back and hyperfixated on fenhawke dragon age

[stealingpotatoes]

i love getting into stuff like 12 years after it came out <3 have some da2 doodles

(commission info // kofi support!)