#maaaaaybe I’ll do some good work later when I have time

[found-angel103]

Pssst Tuck fandom heres me deciding to improv some flagwork to The Story of Winnie Foster

[masterthespianduchovny]

Steve, Bucky, and Peggy: The Love Triangle that Isn’t

There is a popular narrative among a certain crowd that Steggy only happened so Steve isn’t perceived as gay or having feelings for Bucky. And maaaaaybe this is true, but honestly, I don’t agree.

Peggy was supposed to be the great love of Steve’s life that never got to happen due to circumstance. And then comes along Sharon who is supposed to be his great next love. But, what happened is that not that many people were interested and, funny enough, more were drawn to Steve’s reaction about Peggy—him visiting her and her later dying than they actually have a fuck about Staron or whatever the ships name is.

Coincidentally, this is the SAME movie that Bucky as winter soldier is reintroduced in. The movie where they try to establish a new romantic relationship for Cap and have us met the new Bucky, which the former isn’t Bucky.

What happened is this: fans essentially completely rejected Sharon and salivated for Bucky and this devotion Steve had towards him. It was a shipper’s dream the way Steve behaved. BUT, Steve and Bucky was never on the menu and it was never teased canonically.

I cannot say if the actors or those connected to the MCU queerbaited fans, but actors and connected employees have the habit of trying to be supportive of fans and ships by entertaining things they aren’t necessarily invested in or care about all that much. Some of that is because they appreciate the fans enthusiasm and the other part is it being apart of the job to have enthusiastic fans.

It reminds me how how John Boyega supported two/three ships on Star Wars, but it wasn’t necessarily because he was a shipper himself. The only actor in the current series who seems like an actual shopper is the one who plays Poe.

So, after they got rid of Sharon in the third cap “movie”, they had to figure out what to do about his love interest. Again, the only significant and canonical one people gravitated to was Peggy, but she was dead. BUT, there was also a consistent thread about Cap’s feelings for her. Almost every movie that desires cap prominently has some small scene or moment that references her.

So, for people to act like Peggy was Sharon is dishonest. Or how they want to act like Peggy was some random girl. Peggy met Steve before he was cap—I know, I know, Bucky did too—but, this is important because it sets up their relationship about how she cared for him and took him seriously as a person even then. Her feelings grew romantic as did his, but their feelings was based on friendship and their mutual respect for one another. Peggy also helped Steve to defy orders to do what he felt was right, so they share values as well. I believe all this happened over a span of two years.

When she is in the hospital Steve regularly visits her and is distraught when she dies. His behavior is a call back to that old fashioned romanticized love in which one half of a spouse is loyal, dedicated, and (always) by their beside. Despite Steve still having g his youth and presumably young, interested women clamoring for him, he is devoted to Peggy and takes time out of his week to visit her. When she dies, he’s even her pallbearer.

This behavior is more than “a connection to the past.” I guess since it’s muted and not fighting to save someone you care about at all cost, it doesn’t read a love or romantic.

But, it’s clearly established that Steve’s love has never faded and even though he has young women interested in him, he’d rather sit by the side of his 90 year old (former) love.

We even see him carrying a locket with her picture in it as well. The MCU has gone out of its way to show how very real Steve’s feelings are.

Enter in Bucky.

When we first meet Bucky, we see he’s the best friend of Steve. The charming ladies man who exudes confidence. He looks out for Steve, esp because Steve likes to get up for trouble when standing up for his values. Yet, neither Steve nor Bucky are particularly attached to one another—meaning to subtext of homoeroticism that speaks to deeper feelings known or unknown.

We could argue that Steve’s feelings became prominences, but not known to him, when he saw Bucky again, but I’ll continue to lay out for my reasoning for not believing that.

Winter soldier sets for the foundation of how captain American went from a loyal patriot to questioning and distrusting his government. Despite his camaraderie with the avengers, he still feels alone and like a man out of time. He leans on his patriotism to get him through this totally unique and indescribable experience. But, I’m the second movie, he’s on the run from that very same government and is finding out about their secrets and lies.

During this time he runs into Bucky, his best friend who he thought died.

We must keep in mind that Cap’s two direct connections to the past in this moment are both Peggy and Bucky. We see his loyalty to Peggy due to reasons I mentioned, but there is another factor going on with Bucky: it’s him, but it’s NOT him.

It was completely disorienting for Cap to see a man who was supposed to be dead and in his 90s looking youthful and a unrelenting killer. There was no way they was the Bucky Cap knew. Cap has to get to the bottom of what happened to Bucky and, later, avenge his friend. His autonomy and agency was violated, he was experimented on, and brought back to life to be a trained killer.

Of course Steve feels that deeply, especially because he underwent a similar experiment, but willingly and retained his agency and independence. But, it’s also about corrupting the past for Steve. The way the government manipulates and pushes things forth for the agenda. There’s levels to this.

Then, when Bucky saved Steve, and then disappeared, Steve was largely fine, but concerned about Bucky. And why wouldn’t he be? Bucky almost killed him, saved him, and then left—he doesn’t know how Bucky is dealing and coping with what happened to him. How could he know?

Steve fighting and protecting Bucky in his third movie and, eventually, fighting against Tony is about how we shouldn’t punish an exploited person for something that were manipulated into doing. And how they’re being used as patsy’s to shift blame. Bucky was a victim in the second and third movie. Bucky needed someone to stand up for and advocate for him, which only Steve did.

I mean, did Bucky deserve to die for something he had no choice over? Or imprisoned?

That doesn’t mean that they couldn’t have been two men in love, but once Cap knows he’s safe and protected—meaning, he’s allowed to make a “full” mental and emotional recovery without further exploitation—Cap doesn’t worry or obsess over Bucky. Bucky was on the way to regaining agency and independence and that’s all that cap wanted.

Once Bucky looks happy and healthy when they see each other again, cap goes to treated him like he did in first avenger.

And I fill that this must be pointed out: some friends do go above and beyond for people who 1. Have mental illnesses, no systems in place to assist them, and no advocates other than them 2. Someone who has been harmed/manipulated/exploited, is triggered, and potentially down spiraling. 3. PTSD.

Steve is being a damn good friend and advocate to/for Bucky.

With that being said, some don’t feel that stucky was going to be canon, but that the MCU went out of its way to prove Steve was straight. As a reminder, the Steve and Peggy thread has been CONSISTENT since day one. Since Sharon failed, they wanted to find a love interest for Steve’s endgame, no pun intended. Personally, I think that they went Natasha/Steve because Natasha/Bruce doesn’t work. I understand Natasha and Steve has a great friendship for the “why can’t men and women be friends” crowd, but Natasha also has other male friends, sooo....

To use Star Wars as an example again, this isn’t Poe and Keri Russell’s character who exists solely to prove Poe is STRAIGHT.

Peggy was never created to be someone who existed to prove Steve’s sexuality, but she was someone he was in love with and never stopped loving. She was someone that we knew Steve loved deeply and could never get over.

I know people feel that Steve going back undermines his values both in the comics and the series, which I fee is valid. But, honestly, Steve has spent a good chunk of protecting others and putting his life on the line. We see many of the other avengers be in relationships, have families, and overall fulling lives and Steve just has the avengers.

Which isn’t a bad thing in and of itself, but he’s allowed to want more than that. His life shouldn’t be dictated by if he can be of service to others.

Steve didn’t “abandon” anyone. Most of the avengers are adults who don’t need Steve. He may have been the leader, but anyone in the group can be the leader. There are other heroes.

And Bucky doesn’t need him.

Bucky understand all that cap went through and sacrificed. He doesn’t need cap to always near and hold his hand. That’s not how friendships work. That’s not how families work or, at least, healthy ones.

I’m fine with people who ship stucky, but this animosity against Steggy and Peggy is ridiculous. No movie or show owes you an open ending so you can ship who you want. From what I can recall, there was no canonical queerbaiting (I believe Chris Evans supported both ships, but I think Steggy more). And Peggy isn’t some random woman or a woman he knew for three seconds, she was important to him and their relationship meaningful to him for the rest of his life.

[starsreign]

☆ /  @irnmaidn​ :  🌠 give me all of them !!! 💖            SEND 🌠 && I'LL RECOMMEND A PLOT FOR US TO TRY OUT !!  || accepting !!

i added a few recently too so like...this gonna be long sry....

☆ AHRI.   i mean...would cass like to meet a sexy fox spirit ?? because she could if she wants !! she’s curious && fairly cordial but she’s very deadly && mysterious && just kind of comes off with an air of uncertainty whether u should trust her or not && i think that’d be fun with cass cause we kno she loves dangerous mysterious women with a taste for biting wit. but in my tangled verse it’s similar to her canon -- she’s a fox spirit && has been alive for so long, ever searching for where her people like her are && where she came from. so perhaps cass could run into her && help ahri post series ?? or she could simply be along for the ride with mysterious && selfish reasons she won’t say but either way it’s always interesting to think about when her cloak finally drops && cass gets to find out about the fox ears && nine tails ;’) also she’d probably flirt with cass sry not sry

☆ NEEKO.   iiim admittedly still working on her tangled verse cause she’s a chameleon but pls love my lesbian chameleon girl she deserves the world tbh ?? she’s extremely sweet despite her entire tribe being destroyed && killed && she FELT every single bit of it && felt her people fade away. she’s pure sunshine but she WILL fight when she has to, when there’s no other option or when people with good sho’ma are endangered. she’s looking to make a new tribe for herself now -- made up of everyone, not just oovi-kat, so she really takes in everyone who she can && who is willing. she can shapeshift by extending her sho’ma to other’s sho’ma which is a sort of spiritual essence && she can borrow their appearance, gain current emotional state && recent memories to better camouflage as them && immediately kno friend from foe so i think it’d be rly neat tbh for cass to encounter that ?? plus with neeko she wouldn’t have to open up too much or have to fight to express her emotions or voice them since neeko can feel && sense && taste emotion -- they have colours && tastes to her. she can also split herself into two, sending out a clone of herself while she becomes invisible && has a lot of floral / plant based magic as well so i think she’d rly vibe with ur cass portrayal !! but tbh she’s very chipper upbeat && kinda rapunzely personality wise -- she’s just very curious about the world && wants to learn everything since she was from a magical tribe that isolated themselves from the world, so for hundreds of years she’s literally ONLY known her tribe && their home && it’s EXTREMELY different from the world ?? she’s so used to not physically speaking && just extending sho’ma && reading emotions from each other, so she struggles with communication && that can frustrate her sometimes, but she’s knows emotions && she can see past like faking things or past all those walls she’s got up !! it’d be neat...theyd be....cute tbh... i rambled too much but i just rly love neeko sm n if u wanna kno more about her or any of these u can ask too !! also...not for nothing but neeko rly rly loves n swoons for strong badass ladies !!

☆ KINDRED.    kindred is literally just...y’kno...death, the grim reaper whatever u wanna call them !! they’re as old as the concept of death && started as one man who cleaved himself in two so he’d have a friend -- they understand the deep pain of loneliness despite having each other now because they were born from loneliness. they’d sense that from her && i think there’s plenty of times she could have met them, when death was near to her or around her && theyre certainly not entirely happy about her resurrection. they’re easily translatable into any verse but they are very ethereal && magical && love to play with people. so anything considering death. near death or perhaps just running into them if cass happens near a particularly brutal bandit robbery about to take place on the road that ultimately she wont be able to stop even if they tell her about it :’)

☆ HANA.   hjdksmd u kno i love these already n all we’ve talked about aa !! but also i’d literally be up for anything i love them sm already !! but like ?? soft moments ?? cass getting to come to her kingdom ?? getting to pilot the mechs n getting to just uuhhhh live her life be free n be happy ??

but also :eyes: hehe what if we also have a plotline where hana finds out about the moonstone thing n meets her while she has the moonstone n tries to talk her down :’) possibly mushy stuff they don’t wanna say could come out too mayhaps :thinking:

☆ AMITY.   she’s a little witch !! in her tangled verse she’s still a witch but she && her family are more in hiding about their powers && school so they’re all hidden away but amity’s family is a very, very noble family with a lot of money && power -- which extends to magic too lol. but it’d be Neat to meet cass n like amity looking up to her ?? she’s a lot like cass tbh, pretentious mean girl type who is rly rly icy n mean n sassy on the outside but she’s soft inside she just CANNOT show weakness n she oof is rly oppressed by her family n standards set for her n she ALSO has a crush on a sunshine girl who happens to be human. n she reads to younger kids n helps them out she’s softe secretly...just has a lot of pressure on her -- her parents wont let her hang around witches with lesser talent either. they’d get along i think after like tension but she’s just a lil teen witch n needs a good strong role model but she could also help cass out with the whole magic thing ykno ?? 

☆ PERFUMA.   ooooh they’d be cute !! perfuma is just...so sweet n positive n !! i’d love to interact with her in any of ur she.ra verses or i could absolutely try to fit her into a tangled verse but i’d absolutely want to keep her plant powers but that’d be neat with ur cass n her powers too !!

oh !! or aaalso, concept: we could have perfuma interacting with chrys !! n like when her n cass start working with the princess alliance n her helping them out n giving them insider info even if shes nervous n its dangerous n just perfuma helping her with that n giving her pep talks about her being brave ?? helping her with fashion stuff, helping her adjust to life where her sister can’t help as much ?? that’d be so cute bhadjksbh

☆ AKALI.   hehehee akali n cass would be hilarious at first i swear it -- they’re both headstrong, stubborn && sassy tbh. she’s from an order of acolytes that try to keep the balance of the spiritual / magical realm && the outside realms; she was raised in it && her mother && father were higher ups && very powerful in the order -- her father died in an attack led by her master’s friend on the order && they had to flee && try to remake with smaller ranks when she was very young. she succeeded her mother as the fist of the shadow but could not vibe with the way her master wasn’t taking action like she wanted to -- she wanted to restore balance in her way && she wanted to spill blood to do it because that’d be the only way to do it, so as an adult she just peaced off to do it her own way. && tbh that could fit in with a tangled verse -- just in the shadows, keeping the balance of magic unseen to most. she’s a trained assassin && she can literally throw three kunai && pierce three different hearts while in the midst of a smoke bomb like she’s insanely good -- she is also tiny n has some amazing muscles on her arms back && has very visible abs n she sexy n she kills me daily !! but they could get along ?? she does some magic but she was never the best at it tbh but depending on where in the timeline they meet it could be interesting ?? like s1 would be neat for her to meet someone like akali ?? another strong woman fighter but she also comes from a place that praised women’s strength instead of putting it down -- buuuuut she was hiiiighly ignored by her own mother in favour of another neophyte growing up so....ykno...Mood right ?? it stings a lot -- she saved everyone from a corrupted tree spirit n had the girl she looked up to spit in her face because she lost her leg n blamed it on akali && then her mother praised the girl instead of akali despite the other kids telling her what akali had done n singlehandedly dragged them to safety n she was like around nine or ten or so at the time... but it’d be cool if they met s1 n got to kno each other n maaaybe akali joins them on their journey since it has a lot to do with restoring the magical balance of the world n they could use a master assassin but also...the angst with cass taking the moonstone n the conflict akali would face about having to oust her cause ykno...shes fucking up the balance n thats her ykno....entire purpose riiiip

☆ WIDOWMAKER.   IDK BUT OOF i love widow. i haven’t thought about a tangled verse or a fantasy verse but like uuhhh something about being a french noblewoman married to a freedomfighter but ending up being brainwashed by some magical sect or talon but they’re part of zhan tiris crew or whatever ?? might be neat. she killed her husband && she’s just a little bit possessed now && a ruthless killer. so maaaaaybe....her trying to stop them on their journey to the dark kingdom ?? but her brainwashing starts wearing off the more she’s away from the source tbh -- but also, she’d be on cass’ side when she has the moonstone n honestly that’s very powerful, she’d have a very powerful ally to keep her on track && help like tell her she’s doing great because in the end she’s on zhan tiris side && she can probably see her the whole time && would be working to help get her back to power. also up in the air whether she ends up regaining herself later on && helping cass escape or whatever but she’d feel intensely guilty yikes but anyway i think it’d be honestly rly rly interesting n i’d love to do something with this if u’d be up for it bhdajkmd n like i said we can talk about any of these if u want too !! 

☆ BENSON.   i have zero ideas for this right now because his series is just so far removed from tangled....it’s a post apocalyptic universe where there’s extremely large animals some of which can talk n want to destroy humans who all live under the surface mostly except the ones who try to survive on the surface. TBH u’d love it...i think u’d love wolf specifically too ?? i dont wanna spoil anything but yeah it might be something u might enjoy ??

but also like mlm wlw solidarity pls ?? he’s a pretty carefree but smart gay teen, he’d get along pretty well with her n play off her iciness cause he’s just like that ?? he started off just caring only for himself n his bug buddy n just thieving a lot but like got a lot of character development -- but i guess he could be a thief in tangled verse ?? n like grow out of it or she could show him there’s better ways n stuff ?? idk...

[changingourdestiny]

House of Light Part 2: Moonshadow

Summary:

Fireteam Paralight have allied with the House of Light to get them a reactor from Firebase Hades so they can produce Ether. But it won't be easy getting in, so Rae contacts a friend who might be able to help. But does she have problems of her own...?

Previous Part: Here

Next Part: Here

“So here’s my plan…” Rae began, sitting in a planning room aboard Mithrax’s Ketch with Blaze, Adam, Tif, Mithrax and two armed Vandals, “The nearest Red Legion base is Firebase Hades – the centre of the Legion’s operations here in the EDZ. I’ve a hunch that we might find a reactor in there that could help produce Ether for the House of Light.” “One tiny problem.” Blaze added, “If I know anything about the Cabal, it’s that they’re stubborn. There’s no doubt that there’s bound to be some straggling Red Legion soldiers who’re trying to preserve whatever’s left of their army.” “Blaze’s right.” Adam agreed, “The Cabal aren’t going to let us just waltz in and grab what we want.” “So how get in?” Mithrax asked. “I have a contact that I’ve recently reunited with who’s proficient in stealth. To the point where she’s been living in the shadows for years unseen by the Tower and the Red Legion.” “Damn straight!” Mithrax and Tif jumped slightly at the addition of the mysterious voice, as they along with the Vandals drew their weapons. “Relax. That’s my contact.” Rae reassured, “Mithrax, Tif, I’d like you to meet Marcia Wyverk.” As Rae said this, Tif and Mithrax saw Marcia decloak from the other side of the room. “Us Hunters are the best when it comes to stealth.” Blaze began, “But Marcia is a Voidwalker, meaning she can turn invisible and sneak into places without even being noticed.” “Plus my Ghost is quite handy at hacking into technology.” Marcia added with a smirk, “We’ll get you in there in no time.” Marcia glanced over at Tif, “Y’know when Rae told me there was a Guardian aligned with the Eliksni, I thought she was messing with me. But you’re the real deal. Not too surprised though. I know an Eliksni who used to be with the House of Devils but became a Guardian.” “Wait, really?” Tif’s eyes lit up, “There’s an Eliksni Guardian?” “Yup. Zakris is his name, along with his Ghost Vakoh. I was planning to come down here to visit him at the Farm, but I figured might as well help out Paralight and their new Eliksni friends.” Marcia grinned before seeming to greet Mithrax in Eliksni, which he replied to. “You know Eliksni?” Rae asked. “Zakris taught me a few phrases. I can say hello, goodbye, ask for directions…y’know, the basics.” Marcia replied, “Anyway, the plan.” Marcia placed a map of the EDZ on the meeting room table. “Did you…isn’t that one of Cayde’s maps?” Blaze asked. “Did you steal one of his maps?” Rae shot a questioning glare. “Maaaaaybe.” Marcia grinned, before pointing at a place on the map, “So, this right here is Firebase Hades. While I sneak in, you lot will get into a position. Nox and I will get in, open the entrance and we’ll charge inside. I’ll sneak around the base a bit before hand to see if I can locate a reactor. Sound good?” Tif gave Mithrax a brief translation. Mithrax nodded in agreement. Rae smiled, “Alright. Let’s move out.” ——————————————————————— The House of Light had split up into three groups – a member of Fireteam Paralight with each one. Adam and Blaze’s group was mostly Dregs and Vandals, while Rae’s group was her two Vandals, two Shanks, Tif and Mithrax. The groups were located around the front of the base, hiding in the treeline. “This is Marcia.” Marcia whispered into the comms, “I’m going in. Move in on my signal.” “What’s the signal?” Rae asked. “You’ll know…” Marcia chuckled. Rae sighed as Mithrax spoke up, “Voidwalker…very strange.” “Extremely.” Tif added. “You have no idea…” Rae sighed. Marcia went invisible and began to sneak towards the Red Legion base. “Any plan on how we get in?” Nox asked from within Marcia’s head. “Cabal are strong, but they aren’t very smart. No matter how fortified their bases may be, there’s always a back door.” Marcia whispered as she came across a large vent on the outside of the fort, “Case in point.” Marcia gave a quick glance around to make sure no Red Legion forces were around before removing the vent cover and crawling inside through the ducts, “Little light here, pal?” “On it.” Nox eye began to glow brightly, the dark vents now illuminated with a pinkish light. Marcia silently slinked through the vents looking through any vent grates to see if she could spot a reactor. Finally, she came across a vent grate where she spotted what looked like a reactor capable of producing Ether. “That might work…” Marcia muttered to herself before whispering into her comm, “This is Marcia. Reactor located. Sending coordinates to your Ghosts.” “Got it. Waiting on your signal.” Rae replied, “Please don’t do anything too flashy.” “Alright, I’ll knock it down a few levels.” “Much appreciated.” Marcia went to turn and crawl back when she felt the Darkness stir up inside her. She hissed in pain and discomfort as she gripped her corrupted arm. “Are you alright?” Nox asked in concern. “That’s the third time this week…” Marcia muttered, “Something’s causing my Darkness to stir up and don’t like it…” Marcia shook her head as she shrugged off the uncomfortable sensation, “I’ll deal with that later. Let’s go give the signal and get the front entrance open. You okay to hack it." "Child's play." ——————————————————————— Fireteam Paralight and the House of Light waited patiently for Marcia’s signal. “Once Marcia gives the signal, we charge in, get the reactor, and get out.” Rae spoke up. “And kill any Red Legion idiots that get in our way, yeah?” Blaze spoke through the comms. “I’m down with that!” Tif grinned. “What do you think the signal’s gonna be?” Berhane asked. *Peeeeeeeeeeeew…* *BANG, BANG, BANG-BANG-BANG, BANG!!!* Everyone jumped in shock as fireworks began shooting up from the base as the front entrance opened up to reveal Marcia shooting her handcannon at some Cabal. “In my own defence,” Marcia smirked through the comms, “I could’ve been MUCH flashier! So I technically took it down a few notches!” “For Light’s sake…” Rae sighed as she grabbed her auto-rifle as she ran into battle with her Fireteam and the House of Light, attacking from multiple different directions. Mithrax yelled out something in Eliksni, causing most of the Vandals, Shanks and Dregs to attack the surrounding Red Legion while two Vandals followed him, Tif and Paralight inside the base where Marcia was. “Come on, come on! Let’s get a move on!” Marcia called as she led them through the base to where she saw the reactor, “It’s just a few rooms away!” “Where did you even get fireworks?!” Rae exclaimed as she ran. “I’ll never tell!” Marcia winked. Rae didn’t notice that Marcia’s left arm was tensed up, her fist clenched tightly in discomfort… To Be Continued…

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Croatia to Eurovision with a confused angel lad and his lowkey over-enthusiastic mentor

Yeah, well, I definitely have hoped for this nation to finally finally bring back Dora as their national selection, as I myself have never really felt their internal entries since they abandoned it (well maybe except Nina from 2012 but even then by now I grew out of it softly). Not even Nina from 2016 which was tipped as a huge fan fave (though I’m so sorry for it getting completely lambasted in Eurovision, especially because of the poor clothing choice and Nina’s warbly notes here and there).

And they did! After like what, 7 solid years??? After the last Dora ending out with a disastrous end result and spawned a person to (more) stardom who even qualified a couple years back and this year he’s there to be a songwriter for his home country because of the Eurovision 2019 slogan inspiring him???? Well... yeah that happened. With having fought 15 other participants made up of familiar faces, up and coming starlets, the already legendary divas or just some people, he won as a songwriter for this next target of my review - the target that is aptly titled “The Dream” and is performed by a 19 year old up-and-coming pop star, Roko Blažević. Yep, Jacques Houdek won a NF but not with himself singing. Man did his magic game get stronger over the years since Dora 2011.

And interestingly enough, Jacques’s wizardry comes in with him being capable of selling chanceless music as something worth buying into. How can that happen???

Well, to be frank with you all, this song is not that bad, unlike everyone thinks it is. It feels like a low-rent musical ballad, sure, but it's not terribly composed or anything... well, I know I usually hate on those songs that like using mostly not the "verse - chorus - verse - chorus - bridge - chorus", but there are plenty of songs that mess with that structure that usually just omit the last two components (radio pop music) or don’t even need one, and they sound great. Here we have the omission of the last two components that more reminds me of “Grande amore” (I am not saying they’re comparable but still), as in, slow ballad in the F minor (”The Dream” even slaps a keychange on) that tries to sound majestic/dramatic, not very much so to be intense, just something theatrical I s’pose. And has a little too little time for another full verse so they just go to a bridge (and "Grande amore" had two long pre-choruses too?!?). I don’t hate this one, if I had to make a 2019 ranking this instant I’d put this in Top 30 somehow.

So what is there to be found that puts people off? They cannot be hating on Roko’s voice, which is really great for a young man like him. (In fact, God forbid I say one bad word about him, because some specific one on Twitter will have a beatdown with me because I dissed her hubby... so I’ll keep my mouth shut about any qualities of his :X) I guess it consists of several factors: 1) the song sounds dated; 2) the lyrics, especially in that chorus (I DREAM OF LOOOOOOVE, YOU DREAM OF LOOOOOOVE~ lol I actually dream of hatred, hatred will prevail >:) ); 3) the vocal volume is loud at parts; 4) the song is English-Croatian and somehow it should be sung in Croatian just to hide away the hideous understandable lyrics. My personal caveats are: 1) the song is too plodding and it shows a lot in that chorus with Roko holding his long notes (can we get tothe point FASTER?!); 2) the chorus lacks productional depth and maybe with a slight revamp (given Jacques wouldn’t be so stubborn about it!) it could have sounded the right amount of dramatic. If anything, I am GRATEFUL that it sounds more palatable than "My Friend", as THAT one was a joyful of cringey clichés tbh. The cheese became rotten and smelly and the sudden violin lead-in into the bridge still creeps me out. Goddamn it Jaq.

Not to mention Mr. Houdek is soooooo optimistic about his song, he finds everything in it perfect enough to not change it! Not the melody, not the language decisions, not the wings (did I tell you Roko wore wings on his NF performance??) - no! Did someone not tell him that Eurovision is rapidly evolving and his fantasies of coming top 3 with this song just better stay fantasies? Oh wait, it's the same man who once sang "dare to dream and make it real", of course he's stuck to his guns like super glue. Can't blame him, there were worse songs in top 3 over the years. Still though, the wings is a stupid idea. There should be something else involved if Jacques wants a performance to be memorable. Roko can't just stand there and only do what he's told to do by his guardian songwriter - granted he has to behave but still...

In the end, how would I summarize this tl;dr? I am one of a handful of folks who find this alright. There's a bigger minority who outright adores the song but I'm just there that likes this and nothing much more, honestly. Everything's just alright. Guess I'm sometimes soft enough to accept cheese, huh. But seriously, the mentoring behind the scenes... it's creepy to say the least. I'm happy Roko's having a helluva good time at least.

Approval factor: Oh I don't know with this one, statistically we can just go ahead and... try approving this? I’m not a huge fan of Croatian entries this decade, at least Slovenia redeemed themselves in my eyes last minute with “Sebi”, while even in my Croatian faves (they mostly are “Nebo” and “Crazy”, and I maaaaaybe like “Lighthouse” a bit too actually?) I see some negative qualities that completely overwhelm my liking for them. But since I legally find “The Dream” okay, I give this one a bit of a pass.

Follow-up factor: Sadly this kind of choice feels to me as a steady divedown in overall quality of what Croatia usually offers us. Well the decline was always on since ��My Friend” followed up “Lighthouse” I suppose, or it's just so happens that Croatia sent the duds on this decade only in odd years ("Celebrate" was fun but tragic trash, "Mižerja" was pleasant I guess but everything here was miserable from the beginning and everyone still doesn’t get why “My Friend” qualified and “Crazy” didn’t). I like it though.

Qualification factor: I’d like to believe that this one can borderline sneak the fuck in to the finals for no reason other than Jacques knowing how to work things in his favour. Yes, I’m not writing this off completely. Although I still see some parts where this wouldn’t work out, it’s actually not 100% doomed... if anything, I at least don’t see it coming last in semi easily! It’s not as LAME as Iceland last year was. And it too was a basic love-peace-dreams message inserted into an older-timey-sounding singalong ballad and was given for a young singer that has a helluva lot of potential later ASIDE Eurovision. That is if they don't pretend Eurovision "ruined [their] careers, njeh!", of course. At least Roko can SANG live and maybe it will happen again that a singer's voice will make this surprisngly qualify over the song? We'll see. For now Jacques should just stay focused on how to make Roko's angel wings (sigh...) more memorable on stage in case the voice is not qualifying but the gimmicks are.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

EMA 2019 at least had positive surprises all over for a NF this non-cared-about-by-me. Dora just... did not. Really. This NF did not interest me all that much song-quality-wise, and it even had SIX MORE SONGS than EMA!!! Crazy, huh?? But it’s okay, I can talk about the show to you if you want me to:

• From the Dora participants list announcement I was mostly excited to hear like two entries, and I'll mention both of them right away separately. And it's by two artists I've heard of before a lot! Though this first one kind of made me feel like I've been somewhat betrayed... enter Luka Nižetić who has got a nice vast catalogue of songs now - soft song(s), upbeat summer songs, and so on. And I kinda liked some of those songs of his I heard (if you're looking for recommendations, give "Vječno" a listen!), but “Brutalero”, his actual Dora 2019 entry was... on a whole different level. Dude, when was ripping off “Mi gente” ever useful?? It’s the year people were chasing after “Fuego” as the Latinesque bop to copy, not this! I hate it when people rehash annoying (but catchy) songs, and it’s certainly worse when they do it as their Eurovision NF entry. Brutal. And I actually remember hyping him before hearing the song, which is a bigger facepalm-worthy moment of mine. When will I ever learn?! ;( Thank God for the juries who served this song right. IDC if the revamp version of this made it any better, I’ll be fuming over this not being an inspired song. Oh and the comic book cartoon style made this brutally laughable to me, I said what I said. It might have entertained some kids though. So to summarise, Luka’s capable of having bops out, but “Brutalero” ain’t it, sis.

• Well guess what - Friendship ended with LUKA, Now MANNTRA is my best friend! Hell yeah lol. Did I tell you I like rock music so much? So I really foresaw kind of liking Manntra's song “In the Shadows” and rooting for them based on me knowing their name (just like Luka but oop), and in fact I really did root for them in the end! I wish I supported them more than Luka instead. They’re bangin’. They’re blazin’. They’re pure awesomeness. Their costumes. THAT BREAKDOWN. Magic. Should’ve won, and if them winning were any forbidden because Croatia is just refusing to accept stuff I’d stan for, at least come second. Screw Luka, screw Lorena. Bring the rock music back. ^^

• oh yeah and the others I guess. Well, if I had to recommend a few entries, here goes: if you’re nostalgic for old-timey early 2000′s bops (in the style of “Everyway That I Can”), you go and listen to the aforementioned Lorena Bućan‘s entry, “Tower of Babylon”. If you dreamed of one of the Femminem singers becoming a 60s retro artiste (actually you did not, that sounds very utter random), go check her project’s (Gelato Sisters) entry, “Back to That Swing”. If you’re here for THE QUEEN DOMENICA, go ahead, check out “Indigo”, the ultimate shopping mall background music anthem. My actual other favourite together with Manntra was Beta Sudar though, as “Don’t Give Up” as some really nice pop I guess. You see what I mean when I said that Dora this year did not interest me all that much song-quality-wise? Well ofc some songs were nice but that's all and too much 'just niceness' is slowly breaking me honestly. I would have gladly cancelled the NF and put Manntra through internally instead. Epic boys deserve an epic platform to showcase themselves, I don’t make the rules here.

Thankfully that's that out of the way, now I'm just going to wish this sweet little angel man all the best in Tel Aviv and not to be too upset if he flops. I know Jacques would be upset, but for that he shouldn't put Roko through a similar mind process also...

[plush-anon]

tejoxys

I finally saw the Endgame spoilers clip

*rubbing my grubby little hands together bc I love a good roast*

Welp, if it’s a roast you want, a roast you shall receive!

(Note: I think I spoke vaguely enough about everything big in the Clips below NOT to warrant an outright Spoilers tag, so I’m leaving it with just an Endgame Leaks tag and a ‘Read More’ line. Message me if you’ve a.) seen the Clips/gone scrolling for more info in the Spoilers tag and b.) think it’s more spoilery than I try to vague it to be, and I’ll tag it post haste)

Christ Almighty, the Clips just make everything look like an enormous MESS.

Thor looks just... awful. In every scene. LITERALLY EVERY SCENE HE’S IN IN THESE SPOILERIFIC CLIPS, HE LOOKS TERRIBLE. There isn’t a single one where he doesn’t look like a mess. Everyone else gets a glow-up (new hair, tattoos, freshly shaved) and looks put together in general (which is admittedly baffling - really, EVERYONE looks good in the face of mass genocide and failure to stop it from occurring?) but Thor decided to whip out his Big Lebowski cosplay at their big ‘save the world’ get-together... why??? (seriously Thor, was a shower too much to ask for?)

Now, if we’d had ANY inclination that anyone else looked rough aside from Tony and Nebula a la the stuck-in-space teaser trailers we saw originally, that would be one thing. Everyone there lost a loved one, everyone there has probably had to come to terms with the fact that they FAILED TO STOP THANOS when they were all right freakin’ there! NO ONE SHOULD LOOK 100% OKAY HERE. Show me dishevelment, poor coping mechanisms, show them having to struggle for weeks (maybe even MONTHS) after the events.

But nope! They are ALL in perfect health according to the trailers we’ve seen before. Even Tony, after nearly dying in space multiple times, just takes a bath and appears to be in fine health after getting back (with some bags under the eyes). Everyone’s perfectly fine, except for Thor (and maaaaaybe Hawkeye, who looks to have gone full-on Frank Miller Batman in his quest for vengeance, but still had time to get a mullet and some sweet sleeve tats in between!).

Nice.

This is a MASSIVE problem with the MCU as a whole, and has been for a while: their repeated attempts to gloss over and sweep consequences of mental trauma and illness away under the rug until it suits them for plot convenience or for comedy. You see this in the Thor sequels a LOT (Selvig being institutionalized for comedy after being possessed, Loki being kept in literal solitary confinement for roughly 2 years, Valkyrie’s PTSD and alcoholism played for laughs, mocking Loki’s suicide attempt from Thor 1 and the actual death he survived in Thor 2, ALL of Odin’s outright dickishness as a parent a la narcissistic parenting, Hela being imprisoned in isolation for literal CENTURIES), as well as anything to do with Tony Stark and his thought process (everything he does is pretty much as a result of the trauma he endures, and everyone in the Avengers just??? doesn’t recognize it??? and attacks him for it without going ‘hey, maybe he’s got PTSD’ or something???? what the hell, man). GOTG does a MUCH better job of it with Rocket and Nebula, but Mantis is left woefully unrealized (thought they do touch upon it briefly, and handle it with relative seriousness). 

Either way, Thor concerns me a LOT, because he is the king of a very small group of Asgardian refugees (and given the scene that shows in the Clips, as well as the appearance of another Thor character later on, we KNOW there were multiple survivors), trying to find a new life on Midgard in the face of not one, not two, but THREE fcuking tragedies - the destruction of Asgard, Thanos’ attack on their ship, and the Snap. Why is he the way he is, in the location he’s in (which actually appears to be the apartment from Team Thor’s mockumentary)? He is the only semblance of leadership left for these people who have lost everything and he’s Like That. Where is a Thor stressed and fretting over being fully responsible for once in his life over the lives of his people, over what little remains of his kingdom? Where is a Thor struggling with guilt as he tries to build a new life for his people, struggling with rule and politics and trade? WHERE IS HE??? Bc right now, all I see is Chris Hemsworth auditioning for the remake of The Big Lebowski, having wandered onto the Avengers set instead of his audition location by mistake -_-

The scenes with Steve leave me absolutely baffled (and some of them just ooze cheese, and not in a great way), because how in the fcuk do we get to those?? His scenes feel the most disjointed here, bc they all have a similar vibe to his personality in Whedon’s Avenger movies. Kind of the ‘Boy Scout’ presentation, which is particularly odd in the aftermath of the Russo Fools’ two Cap movies and Infinity Fcuk Up, which made him more serious, less - bright? I can’t think of a good word for it rn. This is particularly highlighted in his big ‘save the world’ speech we hear - it feels kind of like an ‘okay team, time to save the world!’ speech, instead of something more serious. Is it to try to bring everyone’s hopes up? What else is missing here that we’re not seeing? Why does he feel like he’s back to this persona in light of all that’s happened? Is it to highlight how good and awesome he is in order to {SPOILER REDACTED} like we see in that final sequence? (Also, the imagery for SPOILER REDACTED, while meant to be badass and awesome, feels... kind of awkward, IMHO. Which is weird, bc I thought it would be more amazing and awesome. IDK, maybe I’m just super jaded with the MCU by now).

Carol Danvers’ scenes are actually pretty on point. She gets to be a badass in her fighting scenes and gets an awesome new look that pretty much only functions to further cement her Lesbian Status. The only way she would be more obviously a Lesbian is if her suit were in the colors of (one of) the Lesbian Pride flags and a Cyndi Lauper song was playing in the background (or maybe Joan Jett).

Hulk/Bruce Banner... I don’t even know how they’re going to swing this. Like, at all. I’m particularly baffled bc given how some of the scenes appear to be set early in the film, it resolves extremely quickly to get to that point, and after all the drama of Hulk not coming out in Infinity Fcuk Up, I just - who the fcuk knows at this point. Also, that one scene with the {SPOILER REDACTED} could be effective depending on how they set it up, but then... why exactly is he the one in the scene with the {SPOILER REDACTED} and not Carol or Thor, due to Obvious Plot Reasons?

Finally, Peter Parker. He’s adorable in his scenes, ‘nuff said.

Now, after seeing these scenes, I am left EXTREMELY CONCERNED for this movie’s tone. Granted, it was only 5 minutes of footage for a 3 hour movie. Quite clearly, there is a LOT we aren’t seeing. All the same though, it feels extremely disjointed. I know they’re trying to pull away from the dark and grim ending of Infinity War, but these clips make it all feel a little too casual, a little too ‘let’s go beat the bad guy!’ as opposed to ‘we have suffered a great failure and a great tragedy - as heroes, we MUST work to undo this for the sake of those we have lost, and everyone left alive who has lost the people they loved’. Idk, that may just be me on this one.

But you know the worst part of all of THIS? The worst part is that this is probably what we’re going to get on the release date. This isn’t a trailer Marvel released with deleted live-action scenes featuring minimal to no CGI, or sections clumsily edited over with explosion effects - this was a slew of scenes with a TON of special effects fully rendered in painstaking detail, recorded with a phone on its side in what looks like a movie theater, with foreign subtitles on the screen (I honestly don’t recognize the alphabet, but it might be Middle Eastern). That CGI is expensive and time-consuming as all hell to do, and considering how many of these scenes had it? Either they wasted a shit-ton of money on scenes they didn’t use (seriously, a number of them have Rocket in them, or Hulk - those aren’t the easiest characters to render, I would imagine), or these are in the movie, end of story.

Not to mention, TPTB clamped down on these Clips HARD - like, IMMEDIATELY - as opposed to the process behind deleting Reddit comments. The fast and heavy response from Marvel and the Russo Fools, COMPLETE WITH OFFICIAL TWEET LETTER, along with a Chris Evans tweet not to Spoil the Shit, was to chastise the ones who did (which is somewhat warranted here, given how extreme the security on leaks for Endgame have been).

This response, combined with the quality of the clips, and some of the plot threads that actually seem to be mentioned/referenced in the Lego sets, leads me to believe it’s real.

And I’m not really impressed.

On the flipside, I’m actually kind of relieved, knowing what I’m going into when I walk into the theater opening weekend. I’m not going to be completely shocked and horrified by what I see. This works well in breaking the ice, and also eases some of my anxiety on what to expect (bc I have had a LOT of it for this movie).

The downside to this is that at the end of the day, this is what 22 films ultimately amounted to. Something that feels a little too glib, a little too rushed. Something that doesn’t feel like it’s doing right by the characters who were left, and the characters we love (at least, not in full).

I understand that this is an insurmountable task - to bring to film, with limited time, a satisfying conclusion to so many characters. To arrange hundreds of people within thousands of hours on a set budget to bring this massive story, building for over ten years now, to a close that will resonate and sate with as many fans as possible. But I read fanfiction that does just that with less time, fewer moments, no budget - hell, there are 10k oneshots that rewrote Infinity Fcuk to make sense and treat the characters with the respect that they’ve earned over 20+ films.

This? Doesn’t feel like those.

I will happily admit, I am guesstimating a LOT here, based off of what essentially amounts to 3% of the movie (slightly more, depending on how long the credits are sans post-credit scenes, but still roughly 3%). There is a LOT that is missing, which could fill in these gaps successfully and make this whole post look completely pointless. If it does that, I will gleefully concede that it fooled us on this one. Maybe all of these scenes really ARE hoaxes (even if they were painstakingly subtitled in a foreign language and shown on a movie theater-size screen, but I digress).

But the framing of the scenes looks like it was meant to showcase what the movie would be as a whole, in terms of tone and what to expect. And from that, I’m not excited, or overjoyed. I’m just tired.

And I cannot WAIT for this all to be over, bc I’m fcuking exhausted just watching 5 minutes. Lord knows what 182 of them will leave me like in the end.

*peers up at massive unending ranty analysis post* ...ah. Well then. that happened again. Ah well. Hope you had fun reading my nonsense brain goop, kiddos.

[themoonisalwayschanging]

LIVE

I always wanted to go to one of her concerts. EVer since her first song popped up in my twitter timeline when I was 14 I knew that It was ment to be.

Halsey wrote the sort of music I wanted to hear. The sort of music that could fit almost in every aspect in my life.

The wAy she pictured her story, her thoughts or her beliefs just made me feel something that felt a lot like love, but it even got further: me, a completely straight girl, felt completely turned on by the simple fact of her existence.

That did not took so long to change and in no time I come out as bisexual, when I realized how in love I was with her.

Long were the nights when I sat in front of a computer and scrolled though all my social media searching for her videos or pictures that could help me to get off, always dreaming about her hands Doing the job.

So when I got that call 4 years later two days before turning 18, where I was told to get my passport ready because I was getting a ticket to see her as a birthday gift, I almost died of excitement.

The mix of emotions made me feel so anxious! I was not only becoming -finally- an adult, I was also traveling to another country by my own for the first time ever and SEEING HALSEY LIVE, also for the very first time.

Two weeks later I was in London, waiting in the longest line I had ever been in, but I was really close to the front.

I was wearing a beautiful crop top that went from red to lilac to blue in gradation, a pair of high waisted white shorts and my old black converse. My long blonde hair was tied in a high ponytail and my makeup was mostly blue and red.

I ran when the doors opened trying to place myself in the middle and in the front row. It was not an easy job, all this teenagers were as desperate as me, so even if I ended in the middle and almost in the front I felt being kicked every two seconds.

“She is coming!” Someone started shouting right before all the lights turned off and my world stopped.

There she was, wearing a red lace bralette and a black plate skirt. She talked to us, but I didn’t payed attention as I was to shocked about her beauty.

My eyes were just getting bigger with every move she made and my heart was racing.

<> I whispered to myself.

The first song started. The crowd went wild.

She scanned the public, smiling. When she reached my place I shouted and waved and she smiled me back. I mean, she smiled, so I just guessed since her head was looking in my direction that she did smile to me.

The night go on, sadly. I was expecting it to last forever but I was conscious about timing all the time, so when there were not too many songs left I started panicking.

I needed to get closer.

I must got closer.

So I did, but as I was trying to pass the few people that separated me from Halsey, someone tried to hold me back by my top, ripping it apart.

“What the fuck” I screamed so loud that all the people turned.

“You deserved it” the girl who claimed to did it said.

My top was not longer there and my see-through bra was exposed for the whole stadium to see.

And that was the moment when I caught her eye. Halsey had a playful smile on, I was able to clearly see her chewing her lip looking at me, trying to focus her eyes on the rest of the room.

I covered myself with my hands, and sang to the two songs that were left, trying to ignore the fact that everyone around me might have seen my boobs.

Meanwhile my mouth was letting I love you(s) and fuck me(s) go out of my brain. I had no longer control over my words.

By the end of the show, she glimpsed in my direction and winked.

I stared with my mouth wide open, trying to remember how to breath.

I stood there for fifteen minutes. Waiting for my brain to work again and for it to process all that happened.

“Hey” a man shouted.

“Sorry, I’ll leave now” I told him realizing that everyone was gone.

“No” the man replied showing himself and looking at my exposed bra"follow me"

He led me to a spot behind the stage, it was a completely surreal experience.

“Wait here” he said.

My mind pictured million different possible situations.

But all I actually wanted to happen was to meet her.

I waited where I was told as this guy, who introduced himself as Jason, disappeared into backstage. All I could think was what the fuck.

<> someone that I recognized as Jason said<>. I heard footsteps coming in my way as he got an answer <>.

What the hell.

Was that her voice?!. And In no time I realized it was.

“Hey” she said looking into my eyes and then scanning my body “I’m Ashley, glad you stayed so I can help you out with that, what’s your name?” she said pointing at my bra.

“Wh-what? I’m y/n”

“Yeah, like get you a t-shirt! What did you think,y/n?” She asked smirking at me. Good question, she got me there.

I stared at her. She was no longer using the blue wig and was exposing her natural short hair instead. Her eyes were shining and locked into mine.

“I…” she just waited, not answering or interrupting my silence “nothing” I muttered after a few seconds that seemed ages.

“Follow me” she said holding my hand and dragging me into the labyrinth of doors that the backstage was.

My mind was running. Believing that anything could happen; and my Bain laughed at me, being racional about how senseless would it be to be able to kiss her.

She brought me back to earth when she pulled me inside her dressing room laughing.

“Oh gosh, why are you so nervous?, I am not going to bite you!” She got serious out of the sudden “at least not Now”

I moaned softly, just turned on by the sinful thoughts that were running through my mind.

She smiled and her eyes shined with something I couldn’t define. Ashley locked some hair behind my ear “aww, baby girl, stay calm” Ashley told me “what’s going on inside that pretty mind of yours?” She whispered getting closer without hesitation.

SHE CANT CALL ME BABY GIRL AND PRETEND ME TO STAY CALM.

We were standing next to the door, now closed. The room was small and consisted in a huge full length mirror, in one of the walls, a white sofa on the side and an open closet in the wall that was in front of us.

“So, I asked you something” she asked almost touching my lips. I could smell her perfume where I was. It was some sort of flowery thing.

As I was about to respond she turned away leaving me there breathless.

She headed herself to the closet and grabbed a tee, she threw it at me and laughed as i clumsily tried to catch it. I smelt it discretely, and it smelt just like she did.

I was ready to put it on and leave since As much I was fucking enjoying this (and I was) she would probably asked me to leave when she interrupted my not-working mind.

“Wait, don’t put it on” Halsey stopped me, biting her lip and sitting on the sofa “I was thinking that maaaaaybe you wouldn’t mind returning me the favor?”

I looked at her confused. Omg, okay, what on earth could someone like her want from me?

I think she realized that I wasn’t following her, so she took off the top she had on. She wasn’t wearing a bra.

I immediately got even more aroused than I already was, if possible. I was even thinking about pinching myself to get sure I was not dreaming.

My mouth was open and I couldn’t breath correctly.

Another muffled moan came out and I turned red.

“See” she told me as she licked her lips looking at me lustfully and pointing the space next to her in the sofa, asking me to get closer “I saw your incident with your bra and it turned me on” she blinked as if she was trying to look innocent “a lot… so I thought you might help me out with it as well… what do you think?”

I was getting tired of not moving. This was fucking happening so I stopped thinking and straddled her. She looked surprised, she probably thought that she would need more time for me to react after my behavior over the night. I locked my lips on hers and when she gasped I pushed my tongue against her.

The kiss was desperate, as if we were starving, she returned the kiss immediately and lowered her hands to my ass, where she massaged firmly.

My mind was flying back to all the times I imagined this situation and I tried to imitate what I did in my mind. When I She let a moan out for the first time I started grinding against her and when she moaned in my mouth I bit her lower lip.

I leaded my kisses under her ear and neck until I found her sweet spot.

“Fuck y/n, you know what you’re doing, don’t stop” she said unclasping my bra and looking down to my now free breasts.

“Nice tits by the way” she added making me shiver.

“So are yours, so we should take care of them, Right? Lay down” I demanded and she did as ordered. I aligned my mouth with her breast and sucked hard next to one of her nipples leaving a mark.

I pictured that scene million times before that day, but I never thought about how noisy she was, in fact she was very vocal in bed and that was making me wetter and wetter.

“Stop teasing me and go down on me” she whispered when I found my way to her stomach. I placed my tongue in the space between her boobs and licked all the way down to the hem of her skirt and thong. I got rid of the skirt with my hand and used my teeth to take her panties off as well.

She pushed my head down and I teased kissing her inner tights before reaching the point she needed me to kiss.

I licked her once, from her anus to her clit. She kept moaning and it had turned me on so much that without not even opening my shorts I slid a hand inside of my panties and started rubbing my clit.

She was so horny that I couldn’t help but stopped teasing and started licking in the right places, trying to help her to get her release. I found my way to her slit, entering her as deep as possible, and twirled my tong in ways that made her shout and pull my hair in bliss.

“Faster baby girl” she cried “please”. How could I deny her orders? So I did what she begged me to and used my hand in her so I could gave attention to her clit with my tongue.

I fingered her, first with one finger and in no time I was using four. It didn’t took long before she orgasmed and I licked everything that come out of her.

When she recovered I licked two of my fingers and gave her the other two. She licked slowly and flirty, but since my hand remained inside my shorts a moan that escaped my lips interrupted the mood.

“Shit, you are so fucking wet” she said. She was right though, even my white shorts were wet and my fluids were going down my inner tights. “Let me help” Ashley told me switching places with me and taking my short and panties off. It was soaking wet. She took a second to decide how to took care of me.

She laid on the sofa and indicated: “sit on my face”

“What do you mean?” I responded and made her laugh.

“You have never done this, have you?” She smiled as If i was the most fragile thing in the world. “Straddle my face and I’ll do the job” I was completely Horny and I did as told without really thinking about it even if “sitting on someone’s face” didn’t sound so pure. I laughed internally at myself when I realized I was thinking about being pure while having someone’s tongue so close to my exposed body.

Her tongue started exploring as my body reacted to her movements. She was teasing a bit, making the moves slowly and without realizing I grinned agains her face, leaving all my fluids all over it.

“You are this wet all because of me?” She asked sending vibrations through my body.

“I am” I replied between sounds that I didn’t know I could do “please make me cum”.

Again, she did as told and drawn circles in my sensitive spots. Her tongue teased my asshole and entered as deep as possible into my wet slit, moving until touching my g spot.

“Finish for me baby girl”

In the blink of an eye I was shouting her name and coming undone. She kept me there until the orgasm ended and licked it all.

“Okay” she said after I could breath again and I was off her face. Her eyes looked at the floor where my wet clothes were and then she find my eyes, with an expression full of lust “I think I should also get you a pair of shorts… as long as you can return me the favor again”

[buzzdixonwriter]

Writing Report August 1, 2021

Word counts.

As mentioned before, I keep a daily tab on my word count, striving for at least 1,000 words a day.

By “words” I mean material that I actually intend to see published / produced / posted, not notes abut projects or social media comments (though I’ve used some of my social media comments as the basis for longer blog posts).

Not a bad pace if one can maintain it.  Assuming one writes only five days a week and takes two weeks off at some point, it’s 250,000 words a year, the equivalent of three average size novels.

And that’s assuming it’s an average pace; books need to be revised and polished, so while 1,000 words a day can produce three novels worth of first drafts, there’s time to be spent rewriting – and I don’t count that in my daily totals.

I can blitz stuff out in a single concentrated burst.  Just recently I wrote the first draft of a one act stage play in an eleven hour stretch, clocking in at 37 pages and 6,846 words (thank you MS Word for doing those autocounts; makes my life easier).

My big project for the year ended up with a first draft around 105,000 words long, much too long for this type of story (i.e., a contemporary mainstream social satire).  I spent the last week getting very little productive work done (other than the aforementioned one act play) while trimming back the first draft to just under 94,000.

That’s in the nervous range; I might find an editor / publisher who’ll accept it at that length, but it’ll sure improve my chances if I can keep trimming to under 90,000.

For my second draft (the 94,000 version), trimming wasn’t difficult.  I tend to write loose and shaggy, often repeating phrases and descriptions.

It’s easy to trim stuff like “he went down the stairs” to “he went downstairs”.

I also slashed away mercilessly at everything that didn’t advance the story, either by moving the plot forward or providing vitally needed character insight to explain later actions.

Some cute stuff went by the wayside.  Quelle dommage.

I also trimmed stuff that went to far (and I can hear jaws dropping from people reading this who know me and go “Buzz is worried about going too far?!?!?”).

In this case, yes.  My basic premise requires a PG approach, maaaaaybe occasionally brushing up against a PG-13 but never venturing over into R-rated territory.

Even while writing the first draft, I needed to go back and remove two scenes that -- while funny and entirely in character for those involved -- bumped the story up into soft R territory.*

Eliminating those necessitated revising an earlier scene which set them up, and to the betterment of the novel, I must say.  The story works better the further certain elements can be kept off stage.

(There’s no avoiding mention of the concept of those elements, but the elements themselves don’t need to be paraded out in the open.)

While I often use collegiate notebooks for short story and blog post first drafts, for this project I used my computer to get it on its feet.

Every week I printed up what I’d written to date and shared it with the writers group I belong to.  This gave me good feedback on the clarity of the story telling and specific problematic areas.  I accumulated those printouts on 3-hole punch paper and put them in a large notebook along with regular notebook paper.

As you can see in the photo above, I write notes to myself about specific areas to be addressed in red on the notebook paper as well as on the printouts themselves, but also write additional scenes by hand in black ink to slip between the printed pages as needed while prepping the second draft. 

The second draft is the trimmed down version of the first but also with name changes (for example, I had two characters with similar first names who are rarely in a scene together, but each interacts frequently with a third character; that could be confusing so one got a completely different name).

I didn’t nail down all the characters and locations names, so I’d use placeholders for those and when prepping the second draft swapped them out for their final names (or at least better ones).

The second draft isn’t completely prepped yet, but it’s 80-85% done.  Once it’s prepped then I’ll have it printed out at the local FedEx store and use that to edit my third draft on.

The way things are progressing, the third draft will go to beta readers and after their feedback, one last polish and it’s ready for submission.

As posted above, I try to write 1,000 words a date for publication or posting, and I have reached that number right…now.

   © Buzz Dixon 

  * The late William Rotsler once laid out the history of US movie ratings for me.  Before the MPAA rating system came into effect in the 1960s, theater owners and distributors used an unofficial rating system of “mature” (talked about or hinted at), “adult” (a few flashes of female flesh), X (partial female nudity), XX (full female nudity / partial male nudity), and XXX (full blown porn, if you’ll pardon the expression).  When the MPAA launched its official rating system, the original categories were G, M, R, and X.  M quickly vanished as “too confusing” replaced by GP (yeah, that wasn’t confusing…) which then became PG and eventually added PG-13.  X used to be any film previously unofficially rated XX or XXX but has since been supplanted by NC-17, X being handed back to the professional pornographers, presumably at the end of a long set of tongs.  In the 1970s these official categories were unofficially refined by theater owners, movie distributors, and audiences as soft R (the old “adult”), hard R (the old X), soft X (formerly XX), and hard X (i.e., XXX).

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 9- “THIS ROUND IS MAKING MY SCAR HURT”-Owen

I have honestly never been happier for a merge!!  I hope that Lily, Landen and I are still as tight as we used to be going into merge.  I'm excited to get to know Jules, she messaged me and we have a mutual friend and she seems so sweet!

GUESS WHO, BITCHES! Aheh! *sticks out tongue and cackles* I'm making MARSHMALLOW moves because 1 - I made the Merge, and with Jacob C and Max GONE!!! Thank FUCK because they are the perfect two people to have be gone first, Max being gone clears a major target off Hufflepuff's back and gets rid of a stigma I'm gonna have as him being my number, as well as a potential goat in this game that people would probably try to drag around. I already talked about Jacob being gone in an earlier confessional. I liked Max; but he was just seriously going to be a wrench in my game, so this is a major relief. I'm so glad to finally be done with the premerge stage (even though I was safe for 8/9 tribal councils... OK CUTE!)  And I'm ready to take on the big leagues. Hopefully I don't die ASAP. Obviously, I'm not just hoping that. Here's what this Hufflepuff is thinking moving forward. First of all, I found the Merge Idol, or the Avada Kedavra spell. This is honestly perfect, as soon as the mini challenge hunt was revealed I knew I would have to give it my EVERYTHING to find that damn idol, because there was literally no way I was ever going to find one of the branching path advantages. I don't even want to *try* to find one and keep track of all the paths I've followed, let alone actually having the luck and gut intuition to actually get there... Especially after seeing how hard yall made the escape room branching paths. Thanks, but no thanks. I'll just take the challenge one. I'm pretty nervous having it under my belt because I tend to get paranoid with idols, like *really* nervous about playing it correctly and making sure I have it at the right moment and everything, where I usually misplay or just don't end up playing. Hopefully I can avoid that and actually have the read to play it correctly this season, but at the end of the day, it's a security blanket. I did wind up telling Lily that I had it, mostly because I trust Lily ferociously, with ALL my heart, and I also know how skilled of a social player she is. If Lily gets any crucial information and wants us to play something, then she can give it to me and we'll be able to get it done and Lily won't feel lied to. It's crucial I keep her on my side because A - I genuinely want to work with her, I've been with her the whole time and I love her! And B - As long as we make it past these early stages like 11, 10, 9, She is always going to be a bigger target than me. Lily is a bigger social threat than I am with more conversationalist skills and inroads, once we get to the stage that people like that are targeted, she's gonna be the one that people go after, not her beta bitch little gay marshmallow friend :D and I'm okay with that!! I have a similar plan with Kevin, I'm ready to be his sub beta BITCH for as long as I need to because at the end of the day I'm confident people will target him over me for his challenge prowess, his inroads with almost everyone in the game, and the way he is going to have to betray people sooner or later. And again, another plan with Juls. I want to be close to Kevin, Juls, and Lily, and keep them around as shields for me. I'm not going to be the one to ruthlessly take them out, because I'm confident enough in my own gameplay that I don't need to do that, but if I can be there when they all get voted out and then pick up the pieces at Final Tribal, I'm MORE than happy to do so. ;) But as far as that goes, I need to first make the final 7 or 8 with all those shields in order to be okay in the game. Without becoming a SOCIAL POWERHOUSE, it might be.... let's just say DIFFICULT, for me to make the inroads with the Ravenclaws that I need to avoid their target early on. Early in the merge people are going to want to go for people that won't make WAVES and while me leaving would upset... Lily, and like, **maaaaaybe Juls**, if I'm lucky.. I don't think anyone else would be that torn up about it. So I have to find the right routes to survive right now, and this can be a time for my game to shine that I can use in my Final Tribal later to point out the positives of my game. I started with Kevin, I had a 2 hour call with him tonight just going over everything that happened in our games and kinda making a truce that JUST IN CASE this vote turns into a war of sides and we end up on opposite sides, let's please not gun for one another. But I also discussed the possibility of us working together with Lily, Ruthie, and potentially our very good mutual friend Autumn! If I want to work with Juls, also having Autumn may be a great way to get ourselves set up for the future, and if I am tight with Juls AND kevin wants to work with hufflepuff, that should be more than enough ammunition to convince Autumn, who already has strong bonds with me and Lily from our last swapped tribe (I love her btw!) to vote with us. The only problem here is that it would leave us with probably Owen as the only option, because I don't think Kevin will want to turn on any of Jules, Joanna, and Dan just yet. He also may not want to isolate them either which would make an Owen vote tricky. On the other hand I get the sense that Kevin might be willing to vote out Chips, we discussed that, BUTTT, Juls and Autumn would NOT be on board with that and if Kevin wanted to vote out Chips, maybe Juls and Autumn would find a way to sneak back in with the Ravenclaws and take the opportunity to blindside ME (owen wouldn't go for Ruthie, Lily is too good socially) and that's just a risk I'm not sure how ready i am to take... Meaning right now it might be better to subtly set up the vote to land on Owen, than Chips. Of course that's not even factoring immunity into the whole mess, and also other Pre-Game/Cross-Tribal relationships that WHO EVEN KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE!!! I'm sure lots more people know each other from past games and it'll probably all start coming out of the floodgates very soon, so for someone like me, who's relatively new to this community - I'm interested to see where the lines get drawn and what goes down. It honestly feels like this merge vote is going to be the Battle of Hogwarts, and I'm just donning my robes, gripping my wand, ready to make any marshmallow moves necessary to make to secure that my side wins. Hell, I'll secure myself through a Horcrux if I have to! (Which I guess in Survivor terms is equivalent to putting my soul into that idol so that I can revive myself through it when I 'die' to cancelled out votes!) Here we go, game on, this Final 11 is stacked, and it's EXACTLY what I've been waiting for.

Soooooo my loyal ass can’t help but still feel the most trust and loyalty to Ruthie, Landen, and Kevin. Now my brain is trying to think of some way to make this work so that none of us get voted out. The only thought I have right now is a girls alliance with Ruthie and I and I’m thinking juls and autumn? Then Kevin and landen in an alliance with dan and chips? Dan and Owen??? I think I should probably talk to Kevin and see where he is at. I just would hate for this to all backfire in my face now. I’m not ready to be done with this game and hope that the hufflepuffs don’t become the targets. It’s also helpful to note that landen told me he has the idol. He wants to keep it between us and I’m good with that. He says he would use it on me or for him. Whomever gets targeted first. I sure as hell didn’t get past the sudoku so this is great. I hope that I don’t become a target anytime soon and I can remain under the radar despite going to a rock vote...

In all honesty this merge has me VERY nervous for my life haha.  Everyone is so intimidating!  I need to message everyone but it is just very overwhelming! Right now I'm just talking to Lily, Landen, Dan and Jules!!  Jules is very nice and I'm getting great vibes from her- I can't remember if I already said that yesterday or not though, LOL. I need to message Autumn and get to know her, Lily says that she is someone we can potentially work with this merge. I think Lily and Landen still want to go after Owen and I just don't know about that, I need to message him and see where is head is, I still feel guilty about the round we went to rocks.

next day

Very little people are talking to me and keeping up with messages with me when I message them... so I smell a vote me out scheme trying to happen.  I'm going to wait for awhile to panic just in case people are sleeping, I'm going to idol search at my normal time and I prayyyyyy to the survivor gods that I find some kind of advantage so I'm not the one going home tonight.  Best case scenario would be for me to find something that could help the OG huffle puffles make it through! 

god landen when you read this i know ive only known u for a bit but i do love you with all my heart. but. you are A CLOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A STRAIGHT UP CLOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u are so cracked and i love you for it, but i dont know if you're trying to lie to me or u genuinely believe all the shit u say!!!! i just dont know!!! but ugh king...true king....much to think about....

2 hours later

AHHH are Landen, Owen and I really about to form some kind of power alliance here or...?  Going from having our names thrown around to potentially working together, I like the sound of that!  I think the people that threw my name out there were 100% Dan and Joanna which is VERY frustrating to me but... whatever.  Dan just told me he heard my name so he must sense that I know he was probably the one to suggest it or go along with it but I am going to be very wary.   In all honesty I would LOVE to work with Dan here but I just don't think it is going to work because I don't think we can trust each other as far as we can throw each other haha.  I think he is now just telling me that he heard my name to cover his ass so I don't go after him but UGH.  I would love for us all to just come together and vote out someone that is playing the middle at least this first round in the merge.  The people I think are in the middle right now are Chips, Juls, Autumn and sadly Kevin.  I want to say that he is with me but it is just really hard to tell right now :/ If we do come together to make like a huffleclaw alliance I'm going to suggest Juls or Chips go.  I feel like maybe some of them would be okay with that?? UGHH. I hate this part of the game y'all.  

Owen says that Dan doesn't want me to go? I'm SO UGHHH.   Okay so according to Owen, Autumn and Dan want Landen to go, and Juls and Jules want me to go which SUCKS because I felt good vibes from Jules whenever we talk.  Everyone else is just kind of in the middle but I think... that maybe we can get the votes for Joanna to go.  Owen seems to think that her and Dan aren't as tight as I thought they were.

THIS ROUND IS MAKING MY SCAR HURT First of all, I was very very happy to have won out to merge lol. I don't know what would've happened between Landen/Lily and Autumn/myself, but there would've been some fireworks lol. At the end of the day though we didn't have to worry about that! But now? My worries are ten times worse. I thought coming in that the three Gryffindor would join forces with Dan/Jules/myself, but the more time has gone on, the more I've realized Jules and Dan are NOT on the same page at all. Dan is so worried about Jules being a social player and having other connections, which I agree with wholeheartedly. Especially bc Jules came to me today and basically said: I like Landen and don't want to vote Landen, so unless you vote Ruthie, it's going to be you. LIKE WHAT! It was so freaking obvious Jules is trying to save Landen's ass for some reason and manipulate me into thinking it was a me vs. ruthie thing when really it's a landen vs. ruthie thing. Because now, Autumn/Dan seem to want to push Landen's name still, and Jules/Juls want Ruthie gone to save Landen, and I'm somewhere in the middle I guess??? But it sucks because in my heart, I really want to stay loyal to Dan, get revenge on Landen/Ruthie bc they freaking lied to me and got Jess out. But in my head I get this feeling that if I take out Landen rn, I'm going to be soon because I'll be a next big "threat," and that it'll turn into an Old West situation where all the players take each other out all merge and start to give the floaters more and more power. It's not fair! So I'm toying with the idea of pulling together with Lily/Ruthie/Landen and protecting them, so that hopefully they continue to get targeted as a group over myself. But in doing that, it seems like I'll just screw over Dan/Autumn, and I literally CANNOT do that. I wonder if there's a way to get Dan to want to do Joanna somehow? I don't know. I would feel ten times more okay if we could all get on the same page, save both Ruthie and Landen, and take out a non-threat. I'm falling into a trap I always do. I want too many people happy with me and too many things to be secure and go my way, so I'm making two different deals with two people, and I'm gonna have four enemies left in the game by tonight. So it's like - do I take the risk of pissing people off to save Landen? Or do I go with the path of least resistance and, against my better judgement, get Landen out of the game? I HATE SURVIVOOOOOOR

I LOVE this alliance I have with Landen and Lily, like I can't even.  I LOVE how transparent we are being with each other through the whole thing and how we are working together.  I also like that Landen and Owen are now getting along SO MAYBE I can continue to go far with all of them. I might not be so done tonight! SORRY all I keep doing is making confessionals.

I dunno who to vote out. I like everyone

I’ve honestly never hated a cast more than this one. I want to flip on all my allies, be a psycho, and just get voted out lmao

thought i made a confessional but i know for a FACT that i didn’t.. just girly tingz. but anyways so! this first merge vote gonna make me break out with how much stress it’s bringing me because every time jules kevin and i save landens ass he digs himself another hole HVDBDBD but i love him.. my cracked king. i just hope we can make this vote go the way we want it but OF COURSE. people just love to make things difficult.. sick to my mother fuckin stomach. 

I don't trust any of these people, everyone is WAY too quiet for right before a vote. Last I heard is that Landen, Lily, Owen, Dan, Kevin and I are voting Joanna but... WHAT? I just don't trust it, I really thought that Dan and Joanna were really close so I'm just... ugh. I wish we could get Jules out because I heard she is after me!  SO me being the nosy person I am did some digging on her big brother pokemon profile and may have more of an insight... sorry Jules when you read this I promise I'm not a stalker, LOL. Anyway, I'm beyond nervous, something just isn't adding up.  Even LILY my number one ride or die is being too quiet. :/

So I got sick and then kind of... talked a limited amount to people. Luckily Max was targeted instead of me and Jules and Juls voted with me to vote him out. Then we merged And merge is INSANE. Four names have been thrown: Ruthie, Landen, Owen, Joanna Each name gained steam in its own time but then petered out and then the other gained steam. Lily tried for the better part of an hour to explain how we need to vote out a Ravenclaw because they're scary. Autumn told me Kevin doesn't want to associate with the Hufflepuff sunken ship. It's been a lot and I think Ruthie is the final vote today? Of course, I think there will be an idol play or a power played and the outcome will be different. But that's who I voted. I want to be added to an alliance now that we merged and I"m too nervous to make my own. Hm... guess I'll be third wheeling it while everyone else uses me as an extra number.

Why are Lily and Landen not talking to me but Owen and Dan are??? THIS IS HOW... craziness happens. I am literally sweating bullets right now.

28 minutes later

I AM SEETHING RIGHT NOW. I'm frustrated that Landen won't vote for Jules when not everyone is comfortable voting for joanna right now and like literally ANYONE ELSE would vote for jules right now.  LANDEN OWEN AND I ARE FREAKING BREAKING OUR NECKS FOR YOU AND THIS HAPPENS I AM SO MAD.

8 minutes later

THIS is why the only person I idol hunt with is Lily.  I am SO MAD AT LANDEN RIGHT NOW. 

tribals in 10 minutes i need to do one of these really quick essentially autumn/jules/juls/chips wanna do ruthie and then lily/owen/dan/ruthie are down to do any of the other 4 but i dont wanna break trust with those ppl nor vote them out i really want owen out and i think i got my people on board with that ??? but we're waiting for autumn to get online idk if its gonna happen if it does this is insane this has to be a blindside but like idk if its gonna be im gonna scream and never stop screaming ever so idk idk idk oh my god but if owen goes home......... wow. i did that. but if i go home.......... wow. i did that. IM SORRY THIS IS SO NOT SPECIFIC

[ofmentalisms-blog]

UH OH...here i am once again with a bill skarsgard fc because i’m trash.  i’m also jo, hi!  under the cut you’ll find a little bit of information about PETER BARTON & myself.  enjoy!

PETER BARTON is a/an TWENTY THREE year old SIXTH YEAR at Age of Heroes Academy who looks a lot like BILL SKARSGARD. HE/HIM identifies as CISMALE and rumor has it they’re the child of  CLINT BARTON & BOBBI MORSE. They’re described as STRATEGIC & STUBBORN and got into the academy due to their ability of ENHANCED BRAIN CAPACITY & MENTALISM. Their moral alignment is LAWFUL EVIL. ( jo, nineteen. gmt, she/her )

soooo...first of all i just would like to establish who i am. as i said i’m jo, i’m nineteen and live in the uk. i study screenwriting so i should be good at writing characters. (i’m not.) 

also for any of those who was a part of the old age of heroes, we meet again. i played the summer bishil barber wire chick and the richard harmon animal hating weirdo. whether i’ll bring them in to this rp at a later date is a mystery.  maaaaaybe.

now on to peter

aparrently i wanted to break my pattern of unusual names for characters with peter. so dull. we’ll say his mum probably named him.

peter was born with an enhanced brain capacity thanks to his mother enhanced shit. whilst it didn’t seem very cool at first in comparison to his sisters, when he started school he realised he could slack off bc he absorbed things so easily.

kind of a habit he still has, doesn’t tend to do any assignments that don’t count towards his final grades. will knock the important stuff out in a matter of seconds.

really pisses off all his teachers bc he’s lazy af but still produces good work.

is a pretty good mentalist (think patrick jane meets merrit mckinney) is really good on picking up on facial cues and ticks to see if a person is lying or get them to reveal stuff.  has pretended to be a telepath before and gotten away with it.

can read people without talking to them. is smug af about it. 

in regards to his parents he’s probably a bit of both. the enhancements from bobbi, the attitude of clint. doesn’t really care too much about his parents breaking up. doesn’t really care to much about anything.

nonchalant 98% of the time. tends not to have deep emotions about stuff however he doesn’t take well to people telling him what to do.

as nonchalant about his sexuality as he is life. doesn’t really care who he sleeps with but doesn’t do relationships. not a lot of people know about this though.

doesn’t really like getting his hands dirty so tends to skip the combat side of things. whilst he can shoot a gun pretty well he’d rather stick to the stuff that requires brains.

likes causing trouble most of the times but doesn’t always intend to.

will work for whoever pays him the most. would probably rob a bank.

has been arrested on several occasions after running his mouth and insulting police officers.

is apparently as lazy as me who will get a connections page up at some point buuut not right now.

[junker-town]

Let’s share the worst MLB trade deadline takes we ever had

Did you think a trade was dumb, and it turned out to be great? Did you get excited about a trade that turned out to be horrible? We’re here to listen, not judge.

Max Muncy is hitting like Willie Stargell, and we’re supposed to pretend to know how this stupid sport works.

But not knowing that a breakout player is going to break out is just one of the ways baseball messes with you. There’s also the shame of completely whiffing on your analysis of a trade or a signing. I’ll keep reminding the world of my awful Nelson Cruz take because I deserve it. There’s something so pleasingly arrogant about snap analysis after a big transaction, and we keep doing it because there is no real punishment for our hubris.

The MLB Trade Deadline is almost here, which means it’s a good time to look back and roast our stupid opinions from years ago. Note that you can’t make fun of the trades that didn’t happen, or your fake trades that seem lopsided with the benefit of hindsight. For example, a couple of years ago, I suggested that the Dodgers should trade Corey Seager and Joc Pederson for David Price, which was dumb. But maaaaaybe the Dodgers would have won the World Series with Price that year. Did you ever think about that, smartypants?

No, focus on the reactions you had to deals at the time. Get it all out. This is a safe space and a judgment-free zone. We all have bad baseball opinions, and it’s time to atone for them.

For example, here are some dumb baseball things that I actually believed ...

The Brewers were going to regret trading Matt LaPorta for a rental

That rental was CC Sabathia, who had one of the truly great post-trade performances in baseball history. After a shaky first start, Sabathia pumped out three straight complete games, and he put up a 1.65 ERA in his 17 starts, which was a big deal back in in 2008. It’s a big deal now, too, but it was DEFINITELY a big deal at the tail end of the Mitchell Report Era.

To get him, though, the Brewers had to give up Matt LaPorta, who was absolutely everything that post-James baseball nerds were trained to love. He was a high-OBP thumper with a high first-round pedigree. Position? We don’t need no stinkin’ positions. Gimme those walks and gimme those dingers. Before the 2008 season, he was the 23rd-best prospect in baseball according to Baseball America. He put up a 1065 OPS in his introduction to professional baseball, and he was crushing the ball in Double-A when the Brewers traded him for a rental.

YOU’RE GOING TO TRADE THE NEXT JIM THOME FOR A FREAKING RENTAL? ARE YOU DAFT?

Turns out that [checks] LaPorta wasn’t the next Jim Thome. After some low-average seasons with the Indians, he pootered out and drifted away. While Sabathia didn’t exactly lead the Brewers to the promised land, I probably shouldn’t have been concerned with the slugger they gave up.

They also traded a player to be named later for Sabathia, but it’s not like that was going to make a difference.

Yu Darvish was going to make the Dodgers unstoppable

This one I actually published, like a dingus. The Dodgers were reportedly choosing between Justin Verlander, Sonny Gray, and Yu Darvish, and I ranked them accordingly:

Yu Darvish

Sonny Gray

Justin Verlander

Justin Verlander was done. Finished. He was a high-4s ERA guy now, and he was owed a lot of money, to boot.

Gray was young and controllable. Even as he was buried under a pile of red flags, that’s the guy the Dodgers would want.

Unless they would want the proven ace, the guy who would benefit most from coming to Dodger Stadium. Yes, even though he was just a rental, this is who the Dodgers needed. This was finally the win-now move they’d been tip-toeing around for years. They were invincible. They am become death, destroyer of postseasons. In his first start with his new team, Darvish was absolutely dominant.

Then Darvish had one of the worst World Series performances in history. Maybe the worst. And it all came after dominance in the NLDS and NLCS. It was so weird.

And it just so happened that the guy I pooh-poohed was the actual correct answer. Justin Verlander molted and became a Cy Young candidate again, right when the Astros needed it most.

Against the Dodgers.

Which seems ironic, at least in an alanistic sense.

The Dodgers probably should have traded for Justin Verlander instead.

Sorry.

The Red Sox were going to regret trading Nomar Garciaparra

The Red Sox did not regret trading Nomar Garciaparra.

The exact trade was strange — a four-team deal with a lotta ins, a lotta outs — but as best as I can figure out, the Red Sox gave up their Face of the Franchise for Doug Mientkiewicz and Orlando Cabrera, which shouldn’t be a sentence that aged well.

And yet, do the Red Sox win the World Series without Cabrera’s strong hitting in the ALCS? If you want to go full galaxy-brain, you could say that you don’t know if the Cubs win the World Series with DJ LeMahieu, who was traded away with Tyler Colvin, who was drafted with the pick the Cubs got after Garciaparra stunk the next year. Not that LeMahieu isn’t a good player, but we’re talking butterfly effect here.

The Red Sox steered into the skid, doing something that looked for all the world to be curse-y, and they came out the other side as big-market bullies with all of the haughtiness that three championships bring. This should have been another example of the Red Sox getting stuck in a vending machine, but it ended up being how they broke free of the vending machine.

Carlos Gomez was exactly what the Astros needed to put them over the top

Not only was Gomez the perfect missing piece for the Astros in 2015, but the Mets were fools for letting a little “physical evaluation” scuttle their plans to acquire him. Even though Gomez was struggling that year, his previous three years were electric and excellent. What were the odds that he was in the middle of a serious, prolonged decline?

Oops.

To get Gomez, the Astros had to trade away Josh Hader, Domingo Santana, and Brett Phillips, all of whom might help a team in the present and future. We can argue about the merits and demerits of a person who took pride in being an absolute asshole online, but the Astros would quietly like to stuff Hader into a sack and bring him back to Houston, controversy and all. Winning is more important than all that icky stuff, after all, and it always will be. Sports!

Gomez was broken, stumbling to a 670 OPS for the rest of the season and flummoxing the Astros the season after that.

The Mets probably would have won the World Series with Gomez, of course. I have no evidence for this, but I believe it to be true. At the very least, we have one of the most Mets things to ever happen because of Gomez:

Imagine crying because you were going to leave the Mets, not the other way around.

The Giants were absolute morons for giving up John Bowker for Javier Lopez

Ah, my crowning trade-deadline meltdown. I’m proud of it now. Before teams turned the postseason into bullpen-manic late-inning festivals of whiffs, the conventional wisdom was simple: Don’t give up too much for relievers. They’re just not that valuable.

And here the Giants were, dealing a power-hitting, low-cost outfielder for a danged LOOGY. My reaction was calm and measured, of course.

If Lopez is perfect, shutting down lefties with runners on at every opportunity, and if the Giants make the playoffs by a single game, maybe this isn’t a complete debacle. Maybe that would give the Giants some kind of value.

So let’s all just hope for that unlikely sequence of events.

Disgusting. Just disgusting.

The Giants won the division by two games, I’ll have you know. They did so with Lopez being utterly dominant in the regular season and postseason, shutting down lefties, just like he was supposed to. Then he hung around and contributed just as mightily for the Giants next two championships. He was like a special Magic: The Gathering card that you could keep in your sock and play whenever it made the most sense.

I award myself bonus points for a freaking Luke Scott comparison breaking the format of the site.

So, yes, I’ve been dumb. And after the trade deadline, I’ll post something about the “winners and losers of the MLB trade deadline,” and it will be useless trash. My only request is that you click on that link and all of the links that will follow because my kids don’t deserve to pay for my sins, and these clicks are putting a roof over their heads.

Now it’s your turn. What were you excited about that flopped? What did you think was a disaster that turned out a-ok? C’mon, be honest. We’re all sharing here.

Tell us about your dumbest trade deadline opinions. Thank you.

[spectrumscribe]

Explanations please?

Part of my Voltron/TMNT AU, Donnie and Raph meeting up for the first time, again, under some... interesting circumstances.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Maybe Raph should have stayed in the research and development division. It probably would have been less of a headache.

But, what could he do? Mysterious emails containing information about his older sister and father’s disappearance, summoning him to the garrison, and absolutely reeking of Donnie’s sneaky little hacker touch, could not be ignored.

He hadn’t seen his brother in a good while, either. He hadn’t seen any of his siblings, not since their father and sister left earth. Karai would probably give them all hell for losing track of each other- especially Mikey, who knew where he’d gotten off to- and Raph wasn’t sure if he’d fight the scolding.

Nah. He would. It was the principle of things.

It wouldn’t be fun, trying to figure out how to exist in the same space as his siblings again. Military rules or no, they’d find a way to start a fight. But this was for Karai and their dad, and figuring out why no one had even told Raph that his sister and father were missing. It felt unsettlingly like a thriller spy movie, all the secrecy and cover-ups.

So when Raph had gotten the email, containing what was probably a lot of stolen documents- he’d deleted it, twice over, packed his bags, and submitted a form to transfer into pilot training.

The transfer alone had been hard enough, and now Raph couldn’t locate Donnie or Leo. His eldest brother should’ve met him at the door, because Leo was a nosy motherfucker, and Raph thought Donnie would at least slink by to say hello. Instead, he hadn’t been able to find either, and he’d already been on base for a few hours.

Suspicious.

Donnie had said, in the email, that he’d been on base for a few weeks. That he’d been steadily sifting for new information about their missing family. Secretly. For reasons he hadn’t put into the email.

Raph honestly couldn’t believe that his techy brother had signed up for piloting, but it was for a good cause. He guessed that even Donnie, devoted as he was to his private research, would set that aside for this.

It would be nice if he would actually show up now, and maybe explain a bit more in-depth about just what the hell was going on.

Raph adjusted the collar of his new uniform, one that was a lot more constricting than the engineer’s version had been. Those things had room to breathe, and this one felt like a snake’s skin. Too tight all over.

A few other new initiates were milling around the area, the dorm rooms hallway, as they settled in. Raph had already dumped his bag out on his bed, so he figured he was unpacked enough for the moment. He could make it military grade order later. Right now he was hunting for his other missing siblings.

His eyes skipped from trainee to trainee, examining each one briefly. It was a good idea to get familiar with who he’d be spending the next few months of his life with, considering his circumstances for being on base.

He paused on one of the trainees.

A long braid went down her back, dark hair pulled tightly into it. A pair of black framed glasses perched on her nose, and they reflected the screen of the device she was typing on. She stood apart from the crowd, leaned against a wall. She seemed to be waiting for the people making noise in a room to be done. Probably so she could go back inside.

It took another second to match the person in front of him with the person in his mind, and then Raph figured out the girl was his brother.

Oh what the actual fuck.

She- he glanced up from his device, and red eyes met Raph’s green ones. Donnie looked at Raph for a moment, nodded, and then seemed to conclude that was enough of a greeting.

Wow. No, it was so not. Definitely not.

Where the fuck was Leo? Why the fuck was Donnie without his binder? And were those extensions in his hair??

Raph marched over to his brother, grabbed Donnie’s arm, and started hauling him away. Donnie protested quietly, but didn’t pull hard enough to break Raph’s grip on his arm.

Raph pulled Donnie around the corner into an empty hallway, released his brother, and rounded on him to say, “You have exactly three seconds to explain what the hell is going on.”

Donnie blinked down at Raph. “Nice to see you to.”

“Oh- don’t give me that, Donnie,” Raph said. He gestured sharply at Donnie. “What the hell is all this. Why do you have extensions? Because you definitely didn’t the last time I saw you. Hell, for that matter, where the fuck is your binder.”

“Shhh!” Donnie hissed, glancing around them. “No one here knows about that! And I’m not Donnie right now, okay? It’s Tessa while I’m on base.”

Raph gave Donnie a look. “Tessa? Really?”

“Tessa Tello, to be precise.”

“Oh my god.”

“Hey, if you’re dark enough and have the right documents, people will believe anything.”

“Oh my god.”

Raph paced in a short circle, working on catching up on what was happening. “Okay. So you’re undercover. Obviously. Fantastic. Got it. Why though.”

Donnie crossed his arms, and looked away. “Because. Missing family and all that.”

“Yes, but why are you-” Raph gestured sharply at Donnie again. “-like this? We- we put a lot of work into helping you… you know. Why’d you go and undo all that?”

Donnie seemed to bristle, scowling at Raph. “It’s my body. My choice.”

Raph sighed, and turned to look at his brother again. “I know that. But… you were so happy. And everything that went on before that- I don’t get why you’d go back. You weren’t happy Don- Tessa.”

If Donnie wanted Raph to call him by his new name, he would. Felt weird in Raph’s mouth though.

Donnie kept scowling for another moment, and then his shoulders slumped. The careful mask over his stress and exhaustion lifted, and he looked a lot more like the brother Raph knew. “I know. I know it’s weird. I don’t like it either, but it’s for our dad and sister. Just until I find them.”

Raph grimaced at his brother, not liking how tired Donnie seemed. “How come you didn’t just register as a guy? There wouldn’t’ve been any issue with you doing that. Your papers are already all changed.”

Donnie shifted uneasily, and looked away from Raph again. “Um… weeeell…”

Raph knew that tone. Uh oh. “D- Tess. What did you do?”

“I kinda sorta maaaaaybe got myself perma-banned from the base. And might’ve verbally assaulted a few people during that. Maybe hit a few too. Um. Yeah.”

Raph blinked. “Are you kidding me?”

“Would I be dressed like this if I was?” Donnie asked dryly. He sounded like he was attempting to cover up his embarrassment. “This hair is making me feel like I’m dying of heatstroke like all the time. And, god, I didn’t know how frustrating makeup could be. I don’t know how Karai does it.”

Raph pinched the bridge of his nose. He left his brothers alone for a few months, and this is what happened. Leo cutting off almost all contact, Donnie going and hacking government files, and apparently assaulting government staff too, and who fucking knew where the hell Mikey had buggered off to.

“And people used to call me the impulsive one,” Raph grumbled.

“Shut up,” Donnie said. “They’d been lying to us all along about our dad and Karai. I was a little ticked off, alright?”

“Why did you have to come on the base for that anyways? Couldn’t you have- I don’t know- just hacked from afar? You usually do that. Why didn’t you do that?”

“I was upset, okay? Thinking straight is hard when you’re upset. And besides, the best way into the file system was direct uplink. Via a computer already a part of the system.”

“Why are you not in jail,” Raph asked, rubbing his temples. “How are you not in jail?”

Donnie adjusted his glasses, narrowed eyes glaring at something not there. “Because. They want to keep things quiet about dad and Karai. If they locked me up, they’d have to give a reason, and then the media would hear about them losing our family and Shini. I wouldn’t exactly have stayed silent, either.”

“Well, okay then. Fuck. Where’s Leo?” Raph asked, switching topics. Because, hell, if things had gotten this bad, Leo had to have gotten involved already. “He should’ve come and stuck his nose into my business already; it’s been like three whole hours since I got here.”

“He’s… well…”

The change in Donnie’s tone made Raph’s older brother instincts twitch. He looked at Donnie, and saw a bit more slump had been added to his posture.

“I don’t think he knows I’m here,” Donnie said quietly.

Raph stared at him. “The fuck. How could he not? You’re like six feet now. How could he miss you.”

“He’s, um,” Donnie visibly swallowed. “He’s walked right past me. A bunch of times. I… I looked him in the eye one time, and he just… ignored me afterwards. I don’t think he recognizes me.”

Wow. What the shit.

“Bullshit,” Raph said automatically.

“No, really,” Donnie adjusted his glasses again. Nervously. When he’d had glasses as a kid, that’d been a nervous tick of his. “I’m back to not binding, and I do use a bit of makeup, and the glasses and hair and, uh, I’m pitching my voice a bit too-”

Raph grabbed Donnie’s hand, and stopped his brother from listing reasons why their older brother wouldn’t recognize him. “Dee. Donnie. Donatello.” That got Donnie to look at him. Good. Raph squeezed Donnie’s hand. “Hey. You okay? For real. I know this probably hasn’t been easy on you.”

“Do you need physical okay-ness or emotional okay-ness?” Donnie asked, a hint of grim humor in his voice.

“Donnie.”

“Fine. I’m not okay. Emotionally. This has been awful, and it really sucked that my own brother didn’t recognize me with long hair.”

Raph squeezed Donnie’s hand again. “Are you going to be okay?”

Donnie let out a long sigh. “When this is over, and our family is home, I’ll be okay.”

“Good.” Raph said shortly. He grabbed Donnie in a quick, tight hug, then let him go and started walking towards the hallway they’d come from. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find and punch our brother in the nose.”

“Raph- no! Stop it!” Donnie exclaimed, grabbing Raph’s shoulders and pulling him back. “What part of undercover and low profile don’t you get? The garrison doesn’t know me and Leo are related, or you and me for that matter!”

“He still should’ve known you! Crap on you head or not!” Raph said, pulling against Donnie’s grip.

“Oh my god- can you just- chill for like a minute! It’s fine! I’m fine with it!”

“No you’re not!”

“Maybe! But it’s for Karai and dad! Chill out!”

“After I punch Leo, I’ll chill out all you want!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

    Raph didn’t get to punch Leo in the nose, but he definitely, definitely wanted to.

Even after Leo’s explanation of “I was just doing what I thought Donnie wanted me to. Keeping everything low profile.” and how it would’ve been dangerous for him to contact Donnie anyways, because the whole garrison was watching Leo, “-for months, and I haven’t been able to figure out why, and they wouldn’t tell me anything about dad or Karai either-”, but still.

Fucking asshole. Not even trying to tell Donnie he fucking recognized him.

Raph really wanted to punch Leo. He didn’t get his chance though, because-

-then they’d seen a space ship fall out of the sky, relocated their missing sister and AWOL brother, become fugitives, and found an ancient robotic cat. And then gone to space.

Raph honestly didn’t know he would’ve expected, five of the Hamato’s reuniting like so. Why was nothing simple with his family? Ever?

Staying in the engineering division definitely would have been less of a headache.

Next fic.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Spain to Eurovision with whole lotta fun

Dare I say Operación Triunfo is a little bit of... a Choice?

I mean, you got yourself a format that a bunch of young-aged/teen/late-teen aged droolies follow for the drama more than the music, at least that’s what I suppose it is because it’s one of those singing reality shows where you’re oh so very welcome to follow the lives of all the 20-somethings that were unfortunate to sign the contract of the show, not being able to read all the fine-prints in the contract and later regretting not doing so because things like Eurovision. In Israel. But more on that later.

But this is Espain, and this is the sad state of television that is today - if they like your shitty talent show with 24/7 followship of the contestants, and if they watch that, and if they eat that with a spoonful, chances are you’re going to prolong its post-mortem revival state in order to maaaaaybe attract a new audience and acquire a new shippable couple people will vote “a Eurovisión”. Even if your last couple sucked. And even managed to break up unceremoniously sometime before the 2019 show’s Eurovision final <3 god bless them for finally breaking the chain and breaking the hearts of thousands who were ‘dying’ for the ship. It was never EVER meant to last.

So is it a no surprise that Operación went thriving for another year? Certaintly at least it’s no joy to bear with another amount of subpar desperates from every other corner of Spain, but only because Spain deserves a better NF format. I mean, with these other NF formats we can at least have a variety of artists with their own (or composed by others) songs, and it doesn’t matter an inch whether the public’s big fave gets rigged out to me - as long as it’s just a NF I can get easily over with, it’s all fine to me! And of course OT is also fine for me, it’s just that people are begging for it to get axed for some reason. Maybe because of all the ships?

I don’t want to put too much more thought of what happened in the reality show other than the Eurovision Gala, BUT I seemed to notice something rather crazy. You see, at first we had Natalia (or was it Alba Reche or Sabela even?) heavily speculated as the winner pre-show, but in the end the OT glory was all handed to some Dutch-born boy of Nigerian origin named... Famous. Not shitting you, it is his name. But what’s the saddest part about this? Famous CLEARLY wanted it all to himself just because of Eurovision being included in the contract. Yet his only victory in life is being the best among the rest of these stars that were watched over 24/7. Unfortunately, Mr. Oberogo couldn’t make this out to be in his favour in the Eurovision-special gala, to which the “triunfitos” can attend if they have songs chosen for them in the lineup, and yes he was admitted, but then he was given a SUCH DISAPPOINTING SONG EHMERGERD!!!!!!!! :’(

(lol calm yer ladyhormones, “No puedo mas” wasn’t THAT bad, it’s just that given Famous did songs like “Nobody but You” (yes THAT one) on the show, you’d expect something contemporary soulful, not just blatant radio filler that could have easily been an EYD reject?)

So how did it all happen that the girls were rooted for to win OT, but in the end the one that wanted Eurovision the most won? And how come the one that wanted the Eurovision the most was given a song that paled in comparison to that one song that was performed by someone who was blatantly against going to ESC because “nuuuuu Israel stop hurting Palestine” and that one being favoured to win? AND HOW COME ONE OF THE BIGGEST SHOW’S VILLAINS GOT HANDED ABSOLUTE SLAYAGE OF THE SONGS?? Honestly it’s for the best if Spain is just there to subdue everyone’s expectations, just like they did when choosing Manel (be it because of a corrupt juror or whatever). They did it every single turn of the time this year during OT’s run.

And of course I’ll forever love them for that, as the end result was AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING FIESTA BANGER. Courtesy of Miki (Núñez).

Ngl, the first thing I went in for about “La venda” before listening to it was through this first impression tweet on Miki’s ‘eliminated’ song from the selection, “El equilibrio”:

BITCH HOW WAS SHE NOT READY TO SEE THAT COMING AT HER.

Granted, the sudden start of happy sounds rushing right at me was a little startling, but I was able to cope with it and jam to the song in the end.

I completely adore this one, it’s so powerfully joyful with all its instruments and the Spanish language, the interesting turn of events in lyrics, the incredibly easy probability to sing along to this (LO QUE EEEEERE! LO QUE ERE ERE E!), the authenticity, the cultural roots (tbqh Eurovision countries should be welcome to embrace their culture rather than stray further away from it! also this is why more native languages other than English are encouraged)... mmm-mmm.

And like I said, for some reason Miki was seen as a grand villain to the show, and even if I didn’t follow OT all that much, I was constantly questioning why, and after seeing him eliminated I only wanted to know if people in Espain were rejoicing about it. The against-agenda turned up onto him again when he happened to have the most songs in the internet selection bunch handed to him (THREE!!! Two solo tracks and a duet.), but nothing there was to worry, as instead other favourites were discovered, therefore Miki ended up in the dust for a while. Up until something happened that got him a big surge of votes at the end. Go figure.

Despite all this, I think it’s the right direction for Spain songwise! Me gusta mucho, and not only personally, but also objectively, honestly. Miki’s got a right enough good song for the nation and provided the revamp doesn’t make it crash and burn (yes, the good friend of a Eurovision song - the revamp! It’s happening), it’s safe to say that Spain can stand a chance. Not win, for now, but stand a chance. Yes.

Before I repeat myself some more I’d probably have to add this part for no reason as it came from my Twitter review for “La venda” this time, as I heard songs 1 day before the NF as when I expected the NF to go on Saturday but it was on a Sunday:

BITCH HOW WAS I WRONG. Well mostly thanks to the fact the fanwank-ess of OT ESC Gala actively asked to direct her votes to Miki’s song (Monika Marija teas amirite), but still, WRONG!

Now that I finally composed my thoughts I guess, let’s all go and read the below verdict I’m putting this up for:

Approval factor: I’m giving this a big fat SÍ!

Follow-up factor: Of course I like it way better than “Tu canciYAWN”, there’s no doubt in it :) and after Almaia’s romance advertisement they’re doing a great job by coming back to their great Spanish roots of music, honestly. And it’s better that way than forcing a ship onto a Eurovision 2018 ship, so yeah

Big 5 factor: As of this time Spain lowkey fizzled out with everyone now that a big wave of other faves arised, BUT I don’t think that Spain’s drowning in misery this year, not at all! With right kind of energy of the staging and uplift Spain can totally woo them televoters this time around, making them “lo que ere” their worries away to the sunset. And this is a positive thing - as if juries decide to drown this sometimes and televoters don’t, it will still soar somewhere up high enough in top 15.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

Now, I don’t quite think this year’s OT was quite as memetic as I expected, but we still have had some pre-NF gems, just like this:

• “THEN POLKA”. That one moment was also brought up to her on her OT Eurovision Gala postcard.

• and this one contestant’s gloriously accidental butt-shot

Though we did have a handful of these kind of moments on the Gala itself (and surrounding it), such as:

• NF’s biggest favourite to win songwise not even trying. Yes, there are those NF winners which underperform but only because they don’t seem to know better, but did you know that there are THOSE like María Villar who decide against it? Basically, she was one of those opposing against the situation in Israel with Palestine, so out of protest towards all this, she voluntarily went against doing Eurovision in a nation like this by encouraging her fans to vote for Miki the night before and sacrificing any slightest grains of trying with her performance - by barely dancing on stage and not outselling anything vocally. And it worked to some extent, as she came SECOND only, and shortly after Miki won, she spoke out loud that she was satisfied to not have become the victor (I mean she just thanked everyone for not voting her to ESC lol). But you know what, for situations like these I really do love ESC NFs - where everything predictable is upturned by some sort of events like these. I mean, I like "Muérdeme", it’s catchy, Latino-appealing enough (for those whores thirsty for Luis Fonsi and similar fucks who sing in Spanish on English songs these days), has a cool breakdown and what not, but it would just probably bring back another disappointing result from Eurovision much to fans’ dismay, especially if the Tel Aviv (oh wait sorry... for Maria’s case this would have probably been Limassol or Vienna) edition was to bring many bops for this time around that are BIGGER and BETTER than this one. It’s just happening that it’s unfortunate to be Spain...

• Yet again, putting Famous up on here, but of course he was disappointed to not get that win. I know I’m not the right person to judge considering I’m WHOLE THREE DAYS YOUNGER than him, but I’d still tell him he only had RTVE to blame for giving him THAT in the end and putting him through online voting rounds... and speaking of:

• Like I mentioned before several times, there was an online voting round for to pick-pocket the songs that sounded the best out of the demo-ic snippets of a minute or less. Its top 3 was of course dominated by ladies and their own bangers/just likeable enough songs, with poor Famous being 4th in it (and the top 3 is a must on there to be automatically admitted to the show without any higher-ups shuffling the other competitors ‘round later on and toying with their fates). I liked the complete final cut of the Gala for the most part, but boy did they miss out some, like this male laidback-acoustic pop bop “Sale”, courtesy of Damion Frost. I can at least forgive the loss of “El equilibrio”, but this? Nah siree. And yeah I know this whole shtick is a tire, but I like some of it, and I saw a worse track from the same shtick collection qualifying through higher-ups and that’s NOT boding well with me.

(yes of course Manel happened but still)

• Miki joining the glorious wall of epic NF victory reactions with his O face of total cartooney awkwardness <3

• and Eleni Foureira being able to rock a trashbag as a dress during her guest performance of both “Fuego” and her ‘new’ ‘smash’ hit in partially more Spanish than “Fuego” was - “Tómame”. Granted the juxtapose transition was a little too jarring, but hey - 2 songs for a price of 1. Go get them Spanish audience people acknowledging your pop art Elli <3 (also her chitchat with the ESC Gala host about what do you need to do good in Eurovision <3)

At this point I’m too not fucked to remember more of them but I’m really sure I missed a lot of the OT lulziness that happened before the Gala, during and after it (such as Natalia (who also sang one song in the NF with Miki himself) not wanting ESC but still trying better than Maria). I don’t want to be reminded of them, as my review’s as long as it is. But I’m sure someone else remembers, so I’ll let them judge.

[themoonisalwayschanging]

Live- Halsey (Smut)

I always wanted to go to one of her concerts. EVer since her first song popped up in my twitter timeline when I was 14 I knew that It was ment to be. Halsey wrote the sort of music I wanted to hear. The sort of music that could fit almost in every aspect in my life. The wAy she pictured her story, her thoughts or her beliefs just made me feel something that felt a lot like love, but it even got further: me, a completely straight girl, felt completely turned on by the simple fact of her existence. That did not took so long to change and in no time I come out as bisexual, when I realized how in love I was with her. Long were the nights when I sat in front of a computer and scrolled though all my social media searching for her videos or pictures that could help me to get off, always dreaming about her hands Doing the job. So when I got that call 4 years later two days before turning 18, where I was told to get my passport ready because I was getting a ticket to see her as a birthday gift, I almost died of excitement. The mix of emotions made me feel so anxious! I was not only becoming -finally- an adult, I was also traveling to another country by my own for the first time ever and SEEING HALSEY LIVE, also for the very first time. Two weeks later I was in London, waiting in the longest line I had ever been in, but I was really close to the front. I was wearing a beautiful crop top that went from red to lilac to blue in gradation, a pair of high waisted white shorts and my old black converse. My long blonde hair was tied in a high ponytail and my makeup was mostly blue and red. I ran when the doors opened trying to place myself in the middle and in the front row. It was not an easy job, all this teenagers were as desperate as me, so even if I ended in the middle and almost in the front I felt being kicked every two seconds. "She is coming!" Someone started shouting right before all the lights turned off and my world stopped. There she was, wearing a red lace bralette and a black plate skirt. She talked to us, but I didn't payed attention as I was to shocked about her beauty. My eyes were just getting bigger with every move she made and my heart was racing. <> I whispered to myself. The first song started. The crowd went wild. She scanned the public, smiling. When she reached my place I shouted and waved and she smiled me back. I mean, she smiled, so I just guessed since her head was looking in my direction that she did smile to me. The night go on, sadly. I was expecting it to last forever but I was conscious about timing all the time, so when there were not too many songs left I started panicking. I needed to get closer. I must got closer. So I did, but as I was trying to pass the few people that separated me from Halsey, someone tried to hold me back by my top, ripping it apart. "What the fuck" I screamed so loud that all the people turned. "You deserved it" the girl who claimed to did it said. My top was not longer there and my see-through bra was exposed for the whole stadium to see. And that was the moment when I caught her eye. Halsey had a playful smile on, I was able to clearly see her chewing her lip looking at me, trying to focus her eyes on the rest of the room. I covered myself with my hands, and sang to the two songs that were left, trying to ignore the fact that everyone around me might have seen my boobs. Meanwhile my mouth was letting I love you(s) and fuck me(s) go out of my brain. I had no longer control over my words. By the end of the show, she glimpsed in my direction and winked. I stared with my mouth wide open, trying to remember how to breath. I stood there for fifteen minutes. Waiting for my brain to work again and for it to process all that happened. "Hey" a man shouted. "Sorry, I'll leave now" I told him realizing that everyone was gone. "No" the man replied showing himself and looking at my exposed bra"follow me" He led me to a spot behind the stage, it was a completely surreal experience. "Wait here" he said. My mind pictured million different possible situations. But all I actually wanted to happen was to meet her. I waited where I was told as this guy, who introduced himself as Jason, disappeared into backstage. All I could think was what the fuck. <> someone that I recognized as Jason said<>. I heard footsteps coming in my way as he got an answer <>. What the hell. Was that her voice?!. And In no time I realized it was. "Hey" she said looking into my eyes and then scanning my body "I'm Ashley, glad you stayed so I can help you out with that, what's your name?" she said pointing at my bra. "Wh-what? I'm y/n" "Yeah, like get you a t-shirt! What did you think,y/n?" She asked smirking at me. Good question, she got me there. I stared at her. She was no longer using the blue wig and was exposing her natural short hair instead. Her eyes were shining and locked into mine. "I..." she just waited, not answering or interrupting my silence "nothing" I muttered after a few seconds that seemed ages. "Follow me" she said holding my hand and dragging me into the labyrinth of doors that the backstage was. My mind was running. Believing that anything could happen; and my Bain laughed at me, being racional about how senseless would it be to be able to kiss her. She brought me back to earth when she pulled me inside her dressing room laughing. "Oh gosh, why are you so nervous?, I am not going to bite you!" She got serious out of the sudden "at least not Now" I moaned softly, just turned on by the sinful thoughts that were running through my mind. She smiled and her eyes shined with something I couldn't define. Ashley locked some hair behind my ear "aww, baby girl, stay calm" Ashley told me "what's going on inside that pretty mind of yours?" She whispered getting closer without hesitation. SHE CANT CALL ME BABY GIRL AND PRETEND ME TO STAY CALM. We were standing next to the door, now closed. The room was small and consisted in a huge full length mirror, in one of the walls, a white sofa on the side and an open closet in the wall that was in front of us. "So, I asked you something" she asked almost touching my lips. I could smell her perfume where I was. It was some sort of flowery thing. As I was about to respond she turned away leaving me there breathless. She headed herself to the closet and grabbed a tee, she threw it at me and laughed as i clumsily tried to catch it. I smelt it discretely, and it smelt just like she did. I was ready to put it on and leave since As much I was fucking enjoying this (and I was) she would probably asked me to leave when she interrupted my not-working mind. "Wait, don't put it on" Halsey stopped me, biting her lip and sitting on the sofa "I was thinking that maaaaaybe you wouldn't mind returning me the favor?" I looked at her confused. Omg, okay, what on earth could someone like her want from me? I think she realized that I wasn't following her, so she took off the top she had on. She wasn't wearing a bra. I immediately got even more aroused than I already was, if possible. I was even thinking about pinching myself to get sure I was not dreaming. My mouth was open and I couldn't breath correctly. Another muffled moan came out and I turned red. "See" she told me as she licked her lips looking at me lustfully and pointing the space next to her in the sofa, asking me to get closer "I saw your incident with your bra and it turned me on" she blinked as if she was trying to look innocent "a lot... so I thought you might help me out with it as well... what do you think?" I was getting tired of not moving. This was fucking happening so I stopped thinking and straddled her. She looked surprised, she probably thought that she would need more time for me to react after my behavior over the night. I locked my lips on hers and when she gasped I pushed my tongue against her. The kiss was desperate, as if we were starving, she returned the kiss immediately and lowered her hands to my ass, where she massaged firmly. My mind was flying back to all the times I imagined this situation and I tried to imitate what I did in my mind. When I She let a moan out for the first time I started grinding against her and when she moaned in my mouth I bit her lower lip. I leaded my kisses under her ear and neck until I found her sweet spot. "Fuck y/n, you know what you're doing, don't stop" she said unclasping my bra and looking down to my now free breasts. "Nice tits by the way" she added making me shiver. "So are yours, so we should take care of them, Right? Lay down" I demanded and she did as ordered. I aligned my mouth with her breast and sucked hard next to one of her nipples leaving a mark. I pictured that scene million times before that day, but I never thought about how noisy she was, in fact she was very vocal in bed and that was making me wetter and wetter. "Stop teasing me and go down on me" she whispered when I found my way to her stomach. I placed my tongue in the space between her boobs and licked all the way down to the hem of her skirt and thong. I got rid of the skirt with my hand and used my teeth to take her panties off as well. She pushed my head down and I teased kissing her inner tights before reaching the point she needed me to kiss. I licked her once, from her anus to her clit. She kept moaning and it had turned me on so much that without not even opening my shorts I slid a hand inside of my panties and started rubbing my clit. She was so horny that I couldn't help but stopped teasing and started licking in the right places, trying to help her to get her release. I found my way to her slit, entering her as deep as possible, and twirled my tong in ways that made her shout and pull my hair in bliss. "Faster baby girl" she cried "please". How could I deny her orders? So I did what she begged me to and used my hand in her so I could gave attention to her clit with my tongue. I fingered her, first with one finger and in no time I was using four. It didn't took long before she orgasmed and I licked everything that come out of her. When she recovered I licked two of my fingers and gave her the other two. She licked slowly and flirty, but since my hand remained inside my shorts a moan that escaped my lips interrupted the mood. "Shit, you are so fucking wet" she said. She was right though, even my white shorts were wet and my fluids were going down my inner tights. "Let me help" Ashley told me switching places with me and taking my short and panties off. It was soaking wet. She took a second to decide how to took care of me. She laid on the sofa and indicated: "sit on my face" "What do you mean?" I responded and made her laugh. "You have never done this, have you?" She smiled as If i was the most fragile thing in the world. "Straddle my face and I'll do the job" I was completely Horny and I did as told without really thinking about it even if "sitting on someone's face" didn't sound so pure. I laughed internally at myself when I realized I was thinking about being pure while having someone's tongue so close to my exposed body. Her tongue started exploring as my body reacted to her movements. She was teasing a bit, making the moves slowly and without realizing I grinned agains her face, leaving all my fluids all over it. "You are this wet all because of me?" She asked sending vibrations through my body. "I am" I replied between sounds that I didn't know I could do "please make me cum". Again, she did as told and drawn circles in my sensitive spots. Her tongue teased my asshole and entered as deep as possible into my wet slit, moving until touching my g spot. "Finish for me baby girl" In the blink of an eye I was shouting her name and coming undone. She kept me there until the orgasm ended and licked it all. "Okay" she said after I could breath again and I was off her face. Her eyes looked at the floor where my wet clothes were and then she find my eyes, with an expression full of lust "I think I should also get you a pair of shorts... as long as you can return me the favor again"