#makes the most sense to bend the truth and avoid having to develop a fake story and risk being unconvincing. imo.

[pheonix-inside]

I have this one OC whose entire backstory is a lie, but she's also the kind of autistic that is Uncomfortable about lying, so most of her backstory actually consists of half truths and lies of omission.

[magus-of-the-color-pizza]

Beyond the Summary

So here’s the thing. The Story Summary came out and everyone on Twitter is roasting it for not being a real story. However, aside from one or two plot points (which I will identify in a second), a lot of people seem to be missing just how... rushed and plothole dense the story is? So, in order to properly address this, I’ve compiled this little list of grievances regarding the story in and of itself, regardless of the way it’s been “told”.

 There were a few additional plot points that I personally felt didn’t make much sense, but which, ironically, could if they were developed well, which of course they will not be. I’m going to go in order with the Summary. Let’s get this over with, shall we?

-me after reading the Story Summary, 2019

Before the gods of Theros rose to power, the titans—horrific primal urges made flesh—roamed the mortal realm, sowing death and destruction in their wake.

Let’s get this out of the way immediately: yes, the titans make sense from a Plot perspective, but hey, did you know? Despite being represented on the cards, in the story they actually DO NOT BREAK FREE and are irrelevant! They are simply a plot device to introduce Klothys! The conflict of THB is unrelated to them! (Also, there are only 2 of them, which I find kind of weird but whatever)

Klothys, the god of fate, volunteered to act as jailer and sequestered herself in the Underworld for eternity.

Ok, clever way to introduce the new god, except for the fact that we’ve been told in the past that the Gods of Theros require constant devotion/followers or they will lose power/cease to exist. How did Klothys avoid this fate?

Ashiok's visions are more real than most, and in one of them, Elspeth seized Heliod's spear Khrusor. When the vision had passed, a twisted version of the spear remained, dripping with darkness and power.

For this to happen, it would have to be intentional on Ashiok’s part. It might be, but it’s weird to omit that. What were their intentions in granting Elspeth that spear? 

Secondly, Ashiok learned of the Phyrexians' existence and promptly planeswalked away to learn more of these true living nightmares.

Ashiok is the type of person that plans miles ahead. If they gave Elspeth the spear intentionally to wreak chaos, do they not care to see what happens next? And what happened to all their plans regarding Theros and the nature of the gods and belief? I can understand they’d be very interested in Phyrexia, but it seems weird to just drop everything and go.

And when gods clash, mortals suffer the consequences. One such consequence took the form of rifts to the Underworld from which countless monsters poured forth. Erebos, the god of the Underworld, was consumed by this conflict. He hated Heliod most of all, and in his rage, he neglected to keep a tight grip on the souls under his purview. News travels fast, even in the afterlife, and Elspeth heard talk of rifts to the mortal realm. Realizing her work in the Multiverse was not yet done, Elspeth gripped her shadow spear and headed toward a hidden exit in Erebos's palace—but she wasn't the only one seeking escape.

This whole paragraph is... oof. The rifts are a super convenient plot device, not to mention Erebos’s slight mischaracterization. The whole image of Elspeth just up-and-leaving the realm of death is pretty funny, I have to say.

Klothys was furious. When Xenagos attempted to take her place in the pantheon, she was understandably upset.

I’m sorry, her place in the pantheon? Yes they both fall under Gruul colors but not only does the pantheon not have a finite number of spots, Xenagos became the God of Revels, that has nothing to do with Destiny. Also, Klothys made the decision to remain to seal the Titans, remember? She had no followers.

As Elspeth headed toward freedom, she gathered allies. Along her journey, she faced many battles and powerful foes, and she fought them all off. After each victory, she raised her spear high and proclaimed: "Behold, the true Khrusor! Heliod wields a fake!"

Aside from being salty at the fact that we’re just going to leave Elspeth’s struggles at the generic “many battles and powerful foes” (Who? Why? Where? How? When?), keep in mind that we are still in the Underworld for this part of the story. So the faith she is supposedly gathering for herself/the weapon by proclaiming its true nature to, I guess, random people that were hanging around while she beat up her foes (unless you’re telling me she gathered an army, which raises way more questions) (which will be relevant in a second) comes from Returned, not living denizens. That raises so many questions I think I’m just going to move on to the next part.

She also clashed repeatedly with Calix, emerging victorious every time. After all, she was a seasoned warrior, and he was freshly made. But with each battle, Calix did a little better—he was learning his foe as he learned himself.

This part might be the one that irks me the most, to be honest. As previously stated, Elspeth has defeated many powerful foes. This Calix guy, who is a masterwork of sentient mana-construct created by Klothys, wants to return her to her place in the underworld. So first of all, he finds her, ok, that I can accept. And then...? They fight. So Elspeth beats him up and leaves him alive? Or does he make a daring escape? Because they “clash repeatedly”. Did they just agree to meet every day at the same hour? Why does Calix not play it smart and ambush her if he can track her so well? Why does Elspeth not kill this severe threat to her mission? Wh- you know what, let’s just move onward.

Heliod stood in Elspeth's way, refusing her passage out of the Underworld. She could not be allowed to escape. She would be the end of him. She was the cause of all this. Ranting under his breath, he charged Elspeth with his spear Khrusor . . . which promptly shattered in his hands. For each time Elspeth repeated that her shadowspear was the true Khrusor, the onlooker souls believed her. And it was the power of that belief, that devotion, that caused her lie to simply become truth. Staring down the point of a spear that was no longer his, Heliod yielded.

Heliod’s descent into paranoia is actually something I really regret not being able to see in full (must’ve been some powerful paranoia indeed since it made him wage a solo war against ALL the other gods). What I’m going to point out is that Elspeth’s plan... works. Really? You managed to gather so much faith (again, from dead Therosians) that you managed to surpass the unofficial Main God of this world and his very much official Khrushor to become fake? I mean I know Ajani and the leonin did their fair share of spreading doubts regarding Heliod (speaking of, where the hell is Ajani for the events of this set?), but I really have a hard time seeing how Heliod loses this battle even though he is the one that started the conflict, yes Therosians may begin to turn against him but to lose their faith completely... I’m not sold. Also, Heliod just gives up? Damn, this dude started an entire war based on the fear he might be replaced and then when a mortal challenges him, he yields. This is a god that has erased entire cities from existence!

Erebos simply took the defeated sun god and placed him beneath a giant boulder, where he would suffer for all eternity, or until he was forgotten by his worshippers above. As for Elspeth, Erebos gifted her his eternal gratitude—and safe passage back to the mortal realm.

Like a random boulder? A boulder big enough to be a nuisance to a god? And why can’t Heliod just move? It’s not like he has the responsibility to hold up the heaves/surface/underworld, it’s literally just a boulder. Also, reminder that Heliod is the most venerated/important god on Theros. The fact that he is so nonchalantly removed from his duties and placed under punishment is downright absurd! Especially since the whole Xenagos thing was a huge controversy among the gods, who are, in a wonderful metaphor of the capitalist status quo by the way, way more interested in preserving their collective status as deities than actually going after the other gods, despite being rivals (it is canon that they have technically agreed not only not to harm each other but also to not interfere directly with each other’s affairs on the surface). Also, he’s alive! Who will take his place as God of the sun/day/light/whatever? Sure generations would forget him eventually but for the meantime, Therosians will just live on with no deity of so many important things? What? WHAT

After a brief reunion with Daxos, Elspeth planeswalked away.

Oh ok. So Elspeth is finally free, meets up with her lover, who has been transformed into a demi-god (is it reversible? Is he sentient? What happens to him now that Heliod has been defeated?), chats, and then leaves. How was their reunion? What did they say? Can Daxos be saved? Is he gonna be a regular Therosian now? Do they care about each other anymore? Does Elspeth get the catharsis/absolution she craves for being manipulated into killing him? Guess we don’t care, huh.

Calix looked on, his very being in agony. It was his purpose to return Elspeth to where she belonged, and now he could no longer reach her. But in his darkest hour, a strange idea sparked within him—and he simply planeswalked after her.

And finally, the line most people have been nitpicking on (for good reason). Calix is a freaking “created being”, which according to MtG rules, should NOT be able to innately possess a spark! What’s going on, huh? We’ve been bending “spark rules” for a while now (Jiang Yanggu and Mowu, the Royal Scions, Kaya’s ABSURD ability to transport non-planeswalkers to other planes) but this is a straight-up break. Also I love the “Rip to your mana construct but I would simply planeswalk” memes people have made about this, but one more thing. Did Calix miss the part where Erebos says Elspeth is free to go? What would happen if he brought her back, huh? “Oh no man don’t worry, she’s good”. Even if Calix believes Klothys’s will is more important than Erebos’s (if Klothys even still wants Elspeth back in the underworld after Erebos pardones her), how does he think he’s going to get her to stay there if Erebos doesn’t want her? Just gonna straight-up kill her? And again I ask, WHY didn’t Elspeth kill this guy? ARGH

-a visual metaphor of being a Vorthos right now

That concludes... whatever the heck this was. Thank you for listening and if you have any comments or additions, please let me know. I will say one thing: it is terribly ironic that the world that first sparked my interest for both writing and the magic story by kicking off the “golden age of mtg story” is also the one where the story is reduced to random blurbs on cards and whatever this garbage fire was. Truly a sad day for all of us. 

[imaginedanganronpa]

Can you please do some headcanons on Shuichi and some of the V3 cast being affected by the Despair disease? Shuichi being a meaner version of Togami and says mean to stuff to the remaining cast that are surprisely true about themselves. Like taking their flaws or insecurities and slapping them in the face.

I decided to just write the whole Cast being affected with it, hope that’s okay! But poor Saihara, I can’t imagine him doing those things. 

Fair Warning: Some Minor Spoilers from SDR2 and Spoilers for the Mastermind in V3!

V3 Cast Getting Infected With the Despair Disease! 

Kaede Akamatsu

Pessimistic Disease

Kaede is normally a veryoptimistic leader-type who sometimes forcefully pushes her friends towards uncovering the Mastermind and finding the truth, but after being affected by the Despair Disease, all of those leadership qualities will be discarded.

Her firm, strong-willed character disappears and is replaced by a much more pessimistic version of herself. Kaede will have a weak mind and feel no motivation in this Killing Game.

Kaede is convinced that they are all going to die here and succumbs to the very Motive behind the Despair Disease as she falls into Despair and completely gives up.

On top of her pessimistic attitude, Kaede no longer cares about the well-being of her classmates and becomes quite selfish. In her eyes, nothing they do in this Killing Game matters because they will all either die or be trapped here for the rest of their lives. She sees no reason to fight since it all seems pointless to her, anyway; and doesn’t want to give the others a false sense of hope and security.

Kaede has no desire to motivate the others and couldn’t care less about who dies or becomes the Blackened and who lives. She has also seemingly convinced herself that, “I’ll be the next victim anyway.”

She becomes much less brave and more willing to give up her life because she no longer sees a real reason to try or live.

Kaede also becomes increasingly irritable and vulgar, especially towards her classmates. Any positive attribute she had before getting infected seemed to be a thing of the past.

Overall, she doesn’t trust the others whatsoever and puts her guard up, not letting anyone get close to her - especially including Saihara Shuichi; she considers him to be the most sketchy out of all of them and believes that he has something to hide involving his Detective talent. Kaede develops a strong hatred for her classmates and detests being around them, nevertheless speaking to them.

After being infected with this Disease, she no longer has any faith in their situation and reverts back to her previous self.

Saihara Shuichi

Crude Disease

After being infected with the Despair Disease, Saihara will become increasingly over-confident and even somewhat cocky, believing that he has a place above the others and that they are inferior to him. 

Before, he was anxious and a bit reserved, but now Saihara demands to be the center of attention and talks down to the rest of the participants. Any fear that he had before subsides and he no longer has any issues with social interaction or insecurities.

He also refuses to use his talent for beneficial purposes, believing that everyone else’s talents are pointless while his is the most valuable one here, and that they should be begging him to use his abilities to help them. 

In Saihara’s eyes, they would have been dead by now if it weren’t for him and he shouldn’t waste his talent on useless individuals.

However, this causes him to believe in himself a little bit too much which actually alters his skills and diminishes his talent.

Saihara can be incredibly mean at times, using his talent to uncover the other’s insecurities and then using that against them. He also isn’t afraid to expose the others or belittle them with facts about themselves that are surprisingly true, being far too brutally honest with the others and definitely stepping over some sensitive lines.

He isn’t nearly as serious as he was before, often making dark jokes about their situation or taking breaks to poke fun at the remaining cast. Saihara comes across as incredibly crude and downright evil, causing the others to avoid him rather than flocking to him for help and support.

Instead of making logical decisions, Saihara puts blind faith into his abilities and goes off of hunches, as well as wildly accusing the other students and talking down to them like they are children.

He also shows little fear about their situation, not taking it as seriously as he should and shrugging off the Trials. If someone gets something twisted or accuses the wrong person, he will also call them, “Stupid” or “Idiotic” and laugh in their face.

And with improved people-skills, Saihara not only comes across as rude and mean, but can also come off as a bit flirty and confident, possibly too confident for his own good.

Maki Harukawa

Compassionate Disease

Before, Maki was an incredibly reserved and sometimes hostile person who showed little to no empathy. Now, however, she is always seen with a big, bright smile on her face and an overly preppy, bubbly attitude to boot.

Maki shows a great love an adoration for everything around her and cares about them way too much.

This isn’t limited to people, though, and she also shows love towards inanimate objects and animals as well. She is shown to be greatly affected whenever one of her classmate’s is in a bad mood or gets injured and can be seen talking to plants and animals.

Maki cries easily and at nearly everything in an almost childlike, immature way. She is much less serious and more carefree, even acting like a child at times.

Overprotective of her loved ones, which is everyone, she is constantly checking up on the other students to make sure that they are okay and asking them how their day was, providing emotional support if they need it. She may also pry if you try shooing her away.

Maki is overly friendly and just wants everyone else to get along. She has no tolerance for violence or hostility of any kind and often breaks up fights, getting extremely emotional whenever her classmates argue.

After all, she feels way too much and is much more sensitive now than before, all of her emotions are much more intense and even the smallest thing can send her over the edge. Maki follows her heart much more than her mind.

She can be a bit air-headed at times and come off as oblivious, not always understanding the weight of the Killing Game.

She is also much more attached to the others, especially Kaito. She is constantly bringing him gifts and clinging onto him even when he doesn’t want her around, and often giggles like a school girl whilst blabbing on and on about how much she loves not only Kaito but everyone else here.

Needless to say, once Maki was finally cured, she was disgusted with herself for acting this way. She refused to believe that she could actually be like that, Disease or not.

Ouma Kokichi

Honest Disease

Despite his talent as an Ultimate Supreme Leader, once exposed to the Despair Disease, Ouma won’t be able to stand evil motives and wishes to rid the world of any and all negativity and evil-doers. He also positively motivates his classmates to finding the Mastermind.

Ouma is extremely compassionate and shows love for his friends, and could never imagine doing anything to hurt them. 

And most importantly, with this Disease he must only tell the truth. He can’t lie about anything, no matter how minor, and even if he wanted to lie, he wouldn’t be able to because the Disease wouldn’t let him;.

He is obligated to be one-hundred percent truthful, one-hundred percent of the time.

He sticks up for others when they are being tormented, demanding that the other leaves them alone and finds someone else to pick on. He can’t stand seeing others torment his friends.

Ouma becomes very serious and mature, as well as becoming much less eccentric. He is no longer the over-dramatic character that we have all come to know.

He can’t tell when others are lying so he often blindly trusts them and is easily manipulated; he becomes quite oblivious and rather innocent.

And Ouma himself becomes a bit dumb and all of his skills disappear - he turns into an awful liar. Since the Disease won’t let him lie, it makes it obvious when he tries bending the truth so that anyone would be able to read him like a book. 

He’ll start sweating and fidgeting nervously, his voice rises and he looks increasingly uncomfortable and worried. When he gets called out, Ouma will become frantic and shy.

All he wants is for everyone else to remain positive in their situation, taking up a Protagonist-like role in this scenario.

Ouma is also one who becomes really uncomfortable when he’s finally cured. “Damn, I wonder what kinds of secrets I spilled!~” he giggles nonchalantly.

Himiko Yumeno

Energetic Disease

Normal Himiko is quite lazy when it comes to anything but magic, but the Despair Disease flips that. She has a ‘too the max’ personality about anything and everything as she bounces off the walls with energy, but she shows very little interest in magic.

Eventually, she’ll just admit that she isn’t a real Mage and that all of her Magic as well as Magic as a whole is fake, going so far to reveal the secrets behind all of her tricks without a care in the world.

Of course, once she’s finally cured of the Disease she tries casting a ‘Forgetting Spell’ on the others to cover-up her secrets.

When she’s infected, though, Himiko is extremely intelligent and instead of being ‘slow’ she’s normally one of the first people to catch onto suspicious behavior. 

In a lot of ways, her intuition improves and she replaces Saihara as the most valuable student in the Killing Game.

Himiko is always full of bountiful energy, never tired nor is she lazy. She is loud and somewhat crass, always making her presence known.

All she wants is for the others to try their best and can get easily angered, especially when trying to encourage her friends. Himiko is probably the most motivated out of all of them to succeed.

She matures greatly and becomes much more serious, no longer making time for childish things and dropping her whole ‘I’m a Real Mage!’ act. 

Her personality is similar to that of Tenko Chabashira’s real personality in the sense that Himiko has an extreme nature, and she isn’t afraid to go out of her way in hopes of motivating her friends, sometimes coming across as too intense or out of line.

She no longer feels any real need to sleep, and because of this Himiko will be even more tired than usual once she finally does get cured of the Disease. But she can be seen and heard at all hours of the night, often getting nose complaints from her neighbors.

Himiko will become much more talkative as well, and once she starts you really can’t stop her. She just keeps going, and going, and going…

She almost seems annoying to the rest of her peers, her endless energy will drain you if you’re around her for too long.

Rantaro Amami

God-Complex Disease

Before, Rantaro was probably the most ordinary person out of the Cast, and he recognized this. He believed that he was plain in comparison to the rest of the students.

However, now he has a strong God-Complex and sees himself as much higher up than the rest of the participants. The others should bow down to him as far as he’s concerned.

Rantaro places himself on a pedestal and thinks he is much greater than the rest of the students here. Seemingly above average, he views everyone else as scum who should bow down to him and acknowledge his greatness.

He also remembers his talent when infected with the Disease. As a result, this fuels his Complex because, as he sees it, he has survived one of these scenarios in the past therefore he is the most well-off person here.

Rantaro’s love for adventure disappears, though, and he turns into a Homebody in the truest sense. He has no desire to see the world and all he wants to do is escape the Killing Game and make it home. 

His calm, relaxing personality is replaced by an anxious and tense one, to the point where just being around him will make you feel tense as well. He’ll begin to worry and panic about their situation. Rantaro grows impatient and irritable around the others as well.

When this happens, he can lash out and go on a rant about how much better he is than everyone else and how he doesn’t deserve to die here. If anything, he thinks he’s the only one worth anything, therefore he should be the sole survivor.

Rather than trying to be helpful, he accuses everyone else of being suspicious and, rather bluntly, finds everyone else to be mysterious and untrustworthy.

And unlike his usual self, Rantaro becomes a complete and utter womanizer who goes around flirting with any female he comes across. When they don’t reciprocate, he gets angry because “They should be thankful a guy like me is actually talking to them.”

Tenko Chabashira

Timid Disease

Tenko is normally the excitable, loud, boisterous girl that is bursting at the seams with energy. However, this Disease calms her down and rewrites her entire personality.

She becomes much more quiet, gloomy, and aloof. Rather than being loud and obnoxious, Tenko disappears into the back of the room and her classmates usually forget that she’s even there. She is far too timid to approach the others and instead silently observes them from a distance.

She bottles up her emotions rather than freely expressing them and doesn’t let others in on how she feels.

Her talent is rendered useless under the effects of the Despair Disease, because infected-Tenko can’t stand fighting and hates violence. She is quite weak and dependent on others to do things for her. She also doesn’t like seeing others fighting nor does she do so herself.

She actually becomes quite clumsy and gets hurt easily, her body becoming riddled with bruises.

Interestingly enough, her preferences switch as well. She becomes much more inwardly hostile towards other degenerate women, even belittling herself at times for being stuck in a “Weak woman’s body.” 

And on the other hand, Tenko is more than welcoming and warm around the male characters, though, even acting flustered or possibly flirty around them. 

She has to take several showers once she’s cured of the Disease after interacting with the men so much. She also bombards Himiko with apologies for anything that may have been mistakenly said.

Tenko is much more logical, careful and hesitant when it comes to other’s feelings, and she abandons her reckless nature and thinks ahead, sometimes overthinking, and considering every possibility before making a choice instead of rushing into a quick decision.

Kiibo

Impolite Disease

In a lot of ways, infected-Kiibo acts like normal-Kokichi. The pair have jarringly different personalities after all. Typically, Kiibo is very polite and serious, although a bit oblivious at times.

Ironically enough, their roles swap and Kiibo becomes the one constantly harassing Ouma.

But now he often terrorizes and messes with the others for the sole purpose to entertain and amuse himself. Where he used to lack social-behaviors and skills, Kiibo now has no issue socializing but comes across as pretty rude and will say impolite things about the others, driving them away instead.

Unfortunately, his lack of social-awkwardness doesn’t process this so he acts overly-confident around the students.

Kiibo doesn’t take things very seriously and makes a lot of jokes, most of which are crude and based on other’s insecurities or hurting their feelings. A lot of them also seem ‘Human-Phobic’ as Kiibo calls it, but he doesn’t care. It’s fine to be Human-Phobic in his eyes since Robots are so much more advanced anyway.

Obviously, he says a lot of discriminatory and rude things as well, never considering the other person’s feelings. He comes off as blatantly prejudiced towards humans. He also loudly and confidently laughs at discriminatory remarks, gaining a pretty twisted sense of humor, which isn’t anything he would normally condone.

Despite the fact that with this Disease, Kiibo acts less robotic and disregards a lot of the functions that define him and set him apart, and acts more human - or, at least as human as possible.

Kiibo can seem a little bit insensitive and has a ‘Screw everyone else’ attitude. 

It seems to affect him more than the other students, though, so even when he was cured there was still traces of the Disease in his system.

Miu Iruma

Moral Disease

Miu is normally a very crass girl who plays it off like she isn’t afraid of anything, but she gets quite affected whenever someone damages her self esteem or says something crude towards her.

The Despair Disease would only intensify that part of herself, causing her to become quite shy and reluctant to show off her skin, covering her body in any way possible.

Miu would be much more defensive and less hostile afterwards, and her insecurities would flare up as she belittles herself and sees herself as much more inferior than the others.

Morally, she quiets down and becomes much more ethically-sound, getting visibly uncomfortable when sexual things are mentioned and starts preaching about how we should all be more responsible when it comes to our bodies and sexuality, as she insists that we need to suppress our lusty sides and cherish the ‘sacredness’ of our bodies.

Miu still thinks she is below others but isn’t nearly as emotional anymore - rather, she is seen as visibly depressed and dragging herself around. Miu hangs her head down low and doesn’t really look up at the others. 

She keeps all of her negative thoughts internally and is less outwardly emotional and affected by their words.

But if people ignore her, Miu gets obviously irritated and demands that they show her more attention. She becomes much more commanding and less afraid of receiving backlash.

She becomes repulsed by machinery, including Kiibo, and sexual favors, and instead talks only with perfect, proper, and poised speech. She no longer swears or is very vulgar.

Miu cares about what others think more and this makes her much more hesitant to say something, provoking her to think about what she’ll say before it comes spewing out of her mouth.

And as far as her talent goes, Miu will no longer be interested in Inventions nor will she have the mental creativity to come up with them, becoming much lazier and unmotivated.

Kaito Momota

Halfhearted Disease

Until his normal self who is a passionate hopeless romantic, Kaito becomes extremely shy and nervous around girls, especially Maki. Although she’s the one who wants his affection, he is too meek to actually give it to her.

He also finds himself being crude and less than compassionate towards Maki, giving her the cold shoulder instead.

He comes very weak, lazy, and unmotivated. All he wants to do is hide in his room and sleep all day, and Kaito would if he could. Rather than having a workout routine, he becomes flimsy and no longer cares about his body or physical strength.

Kaito also couldn’t care less about the others. He isn’t fazed by the Killing Game and it doesn’t matter to him who lives or who dies - he becomes similar to Kaede in that aspect. He doesn’t have any real motivation to escape the Killing Game and won’t put up much of a fight if his life is on the line.

He becomes terrified of taking risks, much more secluded and reserved. Kaito often avoids the others because he doesn’t want to make contact and fears that he will be rejected, his more socially awkward side peeking through in moments like these. Because of this, he doesn’t want to bring very much attention to himself because he doesn’t think he deserves it, and thinks very little of himself.

Kaito’s ‘hero-type’ disappears and he becomes much more weak-hearted.

Not only that, but he is unreliable and independent. He makes promises he can’t keep and will lie just to make himself look better, which makes it hard for him to keep a real schedule.

He finds crude humor entertaining and has a much more laid-back persona, taking life easy and not worrying about the Killing Game too much. Since he is so carefree and halfhearted, it’s hard to actually anger this Kaito.

However, he is much more anxious than usual and demands validation at all times, stuttering and becoming flustered if he doesn’t receive it. His self-worth plummets to an all-time low and he sees himself as inferior and useless compared to everyone else.

Angie Yonaga

Unfaithful Disease

Angie’s defining characteristic is her religion and faith in her God, Atua. The Despair Disease, on the other hand, completely reverses this and causes her to drop all aspects of religion from her life.

She becomes a very firm Atheist, turning into a God-Fearing woman who goes so far to belittle religion and criticize anyone who chooses to follow it. She often rants about how it’s unnecessary, calling those people of faith ‘nut-jobs.’

And since she no longer follows her religion, she can no longer hear or speak to Atua so her incoherent ramblings don’t occur as often, either.

Funnily enough, her accent also disappears after she gets infected with this Disease, which was quite unexpected.

Angie doesn’t care about the others nearly as much as she used to, if at all. She is no longer the preppy, positive girl who wanted to form a ‘Cult’ to protect the rest of the students. Now, she genuinely couldn’t care less about what happens to them.

Secretly, she puts them before herself and is much more willing to sacrifice herself for the greater good, but she’s far too stubborn to actually admit that.

Angie’s generally cheery side is gone and replaced with a pessimistic personality who believes that they’re all going to end up dead. This wouldn’t be an issue for her in the past, though, since she always believed that she’d go to Atua once she passed away…

But this Angie is petrified of dying and wants to put it off for as long as possible. Rather than being upbeat, she is worried that she will face an early death in this Killing Game.

Instead of smiling all the time, Angie’s expression is more neutral and unimpressed now than before.

She has little interest in art since her art previously revolved around her religion and sacrifices to her God, but now she wouldn’t be able to recognize her art if she saw it. Angie would also probably criticize it for being too religious.

In a way, she feels like everyone is against her and refuses to follow blind faith in others, so Angie becomes much more independent and abandons the friendships she’s made with Gonta and Himiko.

Korekiyo Shinguuji

Friendly Disease

Rather than being aloof, lonesome, andcool-headed, the Disease would make Korekiyo much more outgoing and friendly towards the rest of his peers. He would likely see them as superiors and, in a way, romanticize them so pieces of his true personality would remain the same.

But he would be unnaturally friendly and upbeat, ditching his mask and wearing a large, beaming smile across his lips and walk with a pep in his step. 

It’s a little bit strange and uncomfortable to see Korekiyo act this compassionate towards others.

He consider everyone to be his friend and, like Maki, he would cling onto them, becoming much more dependent rather than isolating himself.

Korekiyo would want nothing more than to entertain the rest of the participants and bring them happiness, purposefully seeking them out and wanting to spend time with them and get to know them better. 

He would fixate on others, seeking out friendships with specific people, and try his best to alleviate their situation.

Normally, Korekiyo thinks with his head and makes much more rational, logical decisions; however, now he would be driven by his emotions and use his heart rather than his mind. This causes him to frantically jump to conclusions.

He cares more for people’s personalities rather than their beauty, so his talent gets twisted a little bit but ultimately remains somewhat similar. He wouldn’t be affected by the Disease as intensely as some of the other students, so parts of him are able to shine through.

Korekiyo lessens the distance between himself and his classmates, caring about them and their safety.

He gets overly excited around the others, and his creepily friendly attitude can easily be mistaken for Korekiyo simply being invasive and far too personal.

He’s still a little bit unsettling, but not in the same way. His other personality sometimes peeks through and speaks for him, but that side of him, too, is affected by the Despair Disease and altered in some way.

Kirumi Tojo

Messy Disease

Kirumi, although she doesn’t like to be recognized this way, is like the motherly figure of the group. Her talent as a Maid gets completely overturned and rewritten after she gets exposed to and infected by the Despair Disease, though.

She becomes much more immature and unprofessional, laughing uncontrollably at the most childish jokes and pranks and even playing minor pranks on the others herself. Things that Kirumi would normally refuse to bat an eye at would now have her doubled-over from pure joy, but maybe that wasn’t an entirely bad thing. 

People have always told her that she needs to ‘loosen up’ after all…

More importantly, she becomes much more messy and unorganized, slacking off from her work and refusing to clean up after herself and others. 

She would have stains all over her Maid uniform and her Dorm Room would look like a disaster area.

Kirumi becomes a lot more dependent on others, when before the other students were dependent on her. She needs someone else to assist her with even the most basic tasks and promotes laziness.

Unlike a good, respectable Maid, Kirumi would become incredibly impolite and rude, especially when someone asked her for help or a favor. She would snap and hiss at them to do it themselves.

She stops caring about herself and really lets herself go. This Disease would cause her to become a ‘slob’ in every sense of the world, and she wouldn’t be able to take herself seriously once she did finally get cured.

Kirumi becomes untrustworthy and sketchy rather than the responsible, parental figure that everyone was used to. But she would never commit an immoral act like murder, which is something that actually stays the same as far as her values go.

However, despite her messiness Kirumi will view herself as being above average and demand respect in a very frantic and desperate way.

Gonta Gokuhara                    

Angry Disease

Normal-Gonta would be ashamed of what the Despair Disease does to him. He wouldn’t be able to look at his own reflection for weeks.

It turns him crass and rude, instead of the caring and considerate Gentleman that we all know and love.

Although Gonta would gain an intelligence boost and comprehend things much easier, he wouldn’t always use it beneficially. 

He would become easily angered by the things he is now able to understand, even more-so since the weight of the Killing Game is just now making sense to him.

No longer patient and soft-hearted, Gonta will become absolutely enraged by even the smallest things and becomes more prone to breaking things and using his sheer brute strength against both his classmates and his surroundings.

Gonta will become much more competent, therefore resulting in him being a compulsive liar who refuses to help the others if he doesn’t gain any benefit from it. 

He will lash out easily, much more irritable than before. And Gonta is quite scary and intimidating when he gets angry, completely contrasting the sweet and innocent boy that his class is used to. He can and will threaten you, even using his strength as a gambling chip.

And he becomes much more prone to getting into physical fights, sizing up to his other classmates or even challenging them to fights. If he gets really angry, he’ll start swinging and let his anger out on whatever stands in his way.

Becoming a Gentleman is no longer at the top of Gonta’s priorities and be becomes much more selfish and lets his own desires get in the way of what he should do and what’s right.

In some sense, he thinks of himself as being higher up now. The selfishness shifts his mind into believing that others should respect him, putting himself first every time. Because of this, Gonta stops caring about his classmates in this situation.

The Despair Disease does weaken Gonta, but not as much as you’d think. He still has average strength and enough muscle so that he will pack a punch regardless, especially when enraged. 

Tsumugi Shirogane

Disobedient Disease

Tsumugi is secretly quite smart, considering she is the Mastermind behind their entire situation. But even she isn’t immune to the affects of the Despair Disease - plus, it would look suspicious if she was the only one who wasn’t infected by it,

Tsumugi afterwards would be a little bit ‘dumbed-down’ to say the least. She would act more air-headed and clueless, especially to who the Mastermind could possibly be.

She typically thinks she is pretty plain, so afterwards she would also be much more lively and eccentric, and unafraid to really put herself out there as much. 

She would gain a lot of confidence but would also become much more snarky and snippy towards the others, often times going off on them and losing her temper.

Tsumugi isn’t bothered by Cospox since the Despair Disease cancels its effects out, so she isn’t afraid to strut around in her sexiest cosplay.

Overall, she is much more reckless and carefree now. She is more likely to make dangerous or hasty decisions, without fear of the possible consequences.

The Mastermind within her comes out more easily, so Tsumugi has to be careful and find a balance between her true reserved nature and hidden reckless side so that she doesn’t accidentally expose herself. 

But she could easily use other drugs to cause Confusion or Amnesia among the group if needed.

She somewhat loses interest in the Killing Game and disobeys authority when infected, temporarily disregarding her duties as a Mastermind and having a bit of fun while she’s still here.

However, she wouldn’t get infected with the same amount as the rest of her class, so the effects wouldn’t bother her as intensely, and Tsumugi would still be able to act under her own free-will to some extent.

Ryoma Hoshi

Hopeful Disease

Even though Ryoma insists that he is the ‘Shell of the man he once was,’ the Despair Disease would not revert him back to his normal state. Instead, his entire personality would change, showing that maybe he isn’t so different from his ‘previous self’ after all.

Ryoma would become panicky and cautious over every small detail, defending himself even when that was unnecessary and keeping his guard up at all times. He would also be overwrought and nervous, his skin crawling with fear as he worries that he might be the next victim.

He gets easily shaken up and can freak out over the smallest incidences, but Ryoma remains vigilant and blindly hopeful in their situation.

He would become very soft and sweet towards the others, offering warm and reassuring smiles even to those who don’t want them and he would do his best to encourage the others to find the truth. All he wants is to work together towards finding the Mastermind.

Ryoma, despite remaining suspicious of others, would get as close as possible to the other participants and form bonds with those who were willing. He would want to make friends in this situation, more than welcoming to the rest of the group.

He seems a bit delusional, happy-go-lucky and idealistic even in the Killing Game. Even when things look bad, Ryoma would remain as positive as possible, spreading hope to his other classmates.

With the Motives involving a Time-Limit, he would be the last person willing to sacrifice themselves - he’s simply too afraid of dying and not humble or courageous enough to go through with that. Deep down, he has hope that there is another way out of this.

His normal-self doesn’t act upon or show feelings too often, but he would be a bit more sexual and make more innuendos than before.

Ryoma fantasizes about his future a lot, and is actually excited and desperate to survive this Killing Game.

- Mod Rantaro

[buckysforeverprincess]

Thanks For The Memories - Pt. 1

Steve Rogers x Reader, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson

Words: 3658

Warning: Language, break up, angst, minor character death

A/N: This is a 3 part thing I wrote where Steve breaks the readers heart, and the they see each other years later. Secrets come out and the truth revealed, but will it be enough for them to find a way back to each other? Enjoy.

“What part of ‘I don't love you’ do you not understand, Y/N?!” The tall muscular blond standing in front of you asks. “I don't think I ever did!”  

You're sitting on the bed of your shared apartment, tears running down your face, flowing like a wild river. “Why, Steve? What did I do? You can't be serious, throwing away everything we ha-“

“What we had was a lie!” Steve angrily interrupts. “I've spent the better part of our relationship living a lie! Do you know how many times I faked a look, or a kiss? When we were out with friends I had to pretend I was having a good time, but really, I wasn't! If only you would have stayed away, I could've had fun, but no…you had to always come along and never gave me space. Seriously, everything about you is suffocating!” Steve begins fiercely throwing some clothes in a bag, never once looking your way.  

There's nothing you can do but cry. His words cut you like a knife. Everything he said must be the truth because no one would ever talk to someone they loved like that. Steve was not in love with you...never had been and at this point, never will be.  

“I'm going to Sam's.” Steve’s bag is packed with his necessary items.

Your ex isn't making eye contact with you, hell, he's not even looking at you. “I'll be back in a week, this is my apartment. I hope you'll be gone by then!”

That's the last thing Steve ever said to you before he grabbed his bag and walked out the door, finalizing the last five years of your life.  

Six years later…

You wiped the tears of that memory from your cheeks as you drive through the streets of Brooklyn. Home, but not your home. You haven't been back here since you left six years ago, and if it weren't for the phone call from Nat, you wouldn't be heading back there either.  

The drive from Atlanta had been long, and you were tired and worn out. All kinds of memories and emotions had come flooding back in and it had taken over the silence in the car. Your driving buddy was not a wealth of information or entertainment, choosing to either sleep or play on his tablet to avoid the boredom of the drive.  

“Almost there! You ready to see auntie Nat?” You we're looking at your son through the rear-view mirror.

“Does she have waffles?” His mind going directly to food, the kid eats like a tank.

“I'm pretty sure she does. She knows just how much you love them!” You smile, and he accepts this answer, attention going right back to the tablet in front of him. He really is no help at all.

Pulling up to the brownstone, you find a parking spot and put the car in park. “James, were here!”

The boy looks up and takes in the scenery outside the car. “This is Brooklyn?” You can see the disappointment on his face. “It ain't Atlanta. What a shitty place to grow up!”

Your mouth drops, and you gasp at the words the five-year-old blurted out. “James Samuel! What the fuck?!” Your own scolding just as profane as his.

“Sorry, mom…,” he lowers his head, “but aunt Nat said this was a shitty town and she's happy, but unhappy you left!”

You laughed this time as he used the same ‘shitty’ word again obviously repeating what he had heard. Nat had a way with words and your son was picking up on the redhead’s bad habits. It’s a good thing you loved her…anyone else and you probably would have chastised them something fierce for teach your son foul shit.

“Ok…no more bad language words!” 

Your son nods his head in defeat. “Yes, mom…I'm sorry.” James genuinely looks apologetic, and you accept his plea.

Looking around you decide it's time to face the reality and get to the reason for this visit. “Alright, champ…let's get out and go see aunt Nat!”

James’ face turns to sheer excitement, and you both exit the car and meet each other on the sidewalk. You grab his hand and walk up the steps, knocking on the door and standing nervously as you waited for your friend to greet you from the other side.

Your little boy can hardly contain himself waiting for Nat to answer the door. He could hear the dog bark when you knocked and remembered the promise from Clint about being introduced to Lucky.

“What's taking so long?” James says after only a few seconds.

“Patience, young Jedi. Don't let yourself be tempted by the ways of the dark side. Trust in the force, and all will be revealed.” James loved it when turned everything into a Star Wars reference. Your son was such a sci-fi nerd.

“He is not ready!” Nat spoke as she opened the door. James didn't know if he should smile or frown at her words. “I sense a terrible weight within you. The force is strong, but yet...the darkness calls.” She bends down and starts tickling your son and the boy erupts in laughter.

“Stop, stop!” He cries out, but she continues, showing him no mercy.  

It's heartwarming, watching the two of them. When you left years ago, you thought your best friend would hate you. Time has proven differently, and she's been with you through everything possible, no matter the distance between you.

Nat finally lets him go and stands up to give you a hug. “It's good to have you home!”

“It's only a short stay, we talked about this.” You break the hug and Nat shakes her head.

“This will always be your home.” She moves to the side letting you and James enter the house and out of the Brooklyn air.

“Y/N! James!” The male voice comes running in from parts unknown, followed by a very excited Labrador.

“Uncle Clint!” James runs to him, Clint bending down to scoop up the child, arms wrapping around each other.

“I missed you buddy!”

“Did you buy me a dog?” All the adults laugh in unison at the innocence of the child.

“Sure, buddy, but he has to stay here with me and aunt Nat. So that means you'll have to come visit, or he won't remember you.”

You scrunch your face at the man, and he gives you his best shit eating grin. “Well played ass hat…well played.” Neither Nat or Clint ever give up trying to get you to move back home.

“Come on! Let's go play with Lucky and give the ladies a chance to talk.” Clint grabs James’ hand and walks with him and Lucky through the house, most likely heading to the back yard.

“Shall we go to the living room?” Natasha quips.

“Yes, lets!” You respond, never missing a beat. The two of you have been best friends since elementary school. You were practically in each other's heads.

Sitting down in her living room you had a clear view to the outside from the patio doors. James was in good hands, so you weren't worried about him at all, but it doesn’t mean you wanted to lose sight of your son. Clint and Natasha wouldn't ever let any harm come to that little boy, which made it hard for either of them to leave when they would come and visit you in Atlanta. They were the constant in your life, and now the only family you had.  

“How are you holding up?”

Nat sits down next to you holding out a cup of coffee. You didn't ask her for it, but she figured you probably needed it after the long drive home.

You shrug your shoulders and let out a breath, “I really have no one left. No one except James, and I plan on wrapping him up in a blanket and living as a nomad for the rest of our lives, in a cabin somewhere desolate and secluded.”

Nat laughs at your over dramatic description. “So, over the top!”

You scoff at her and roll your eyes. You always miss the back and forth banter you have with her. “I'm doing ok...I just can't believe this happened. She told me the surgery was just a regular procedure, I didn't have to come home, and she'd call me after. Never expected she'd code and flatline.” Tears had started to develop and began to fall from your eyes.

“No one did, but I'm glad I was there before hand, despite her stubbornness. She kept telling me to go home, but I told her you'd divorce me as best friend and I just could throw away so many years of fuckery because she was being a shit, so she agreed I could stay.” Nat smiles at the recent memory and it warms your heart.  

“Well thank you for that, and for taking care of the arrangements. The funeral is on Friday?” You ask, taking a sip of the still warm coffee.

Nat gives you a nod. “Yes, I've taken care of everything I can. You just have to sign papers to release her. That's something only a blood relative can do. Once that's done the funeral home will take care of the rest. The only thing we have to do is show up. Oh, there's a viewing before…. just an hour early. I didn't think you'd want too much more time before, is that ok?” Nat is sporting a questioning look, but in reality, she knows you better than anyone.

“Of course, it is. I really appreciate it…thank you.” You set the cup on the table and lean in to give her a tear-filled hug.  

“She was pretty much my mother too.” You could hear Natasha say through her own tears that have finally made their way to the surface. “She was the only one I had...there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her...or you.”  

The two of you sat in a silent hug, gripping each other for a moment in time that could go on forever, but was interrupted by a ball hitting the patio door; startling you both, and an eager five-year-old running to grab it.

“Sorry!” James yells, picking up the ball and runs back to Clint and Lucky. You both let out a laugh, as the moment is done and are now back to the here and now of the day.  

“So, you do know everyone will be there, right?”

That thought had not escaped your mind and you gave her a nod. “Yes.”

Nat looks at you, her stare gaining a little in intensity. “Everyone.”

Your best friend baiting you, it won't work. “Figured.” You kept your answer short.

“Including Steve.”

Ah, there it is. She never disappoints. You shrug your shoulders and she rolls her eyes at you.

“How do you suppose you'll handle that?”

You give her a sarcastic scoff. “The same way he handled me.”  

By the immediate change in her now scrunched up face, you can tell she is not impressed with you at all. “He's bound to find out. What do you plan to do when that happens?”

That was the question that had been running through your mind for six years. The truth is, you really had no idea what you were going to do. Steve left you so heartbroken and dead inside, you didn't know how to tell him he was a father. Why would he want anything to do with his son since he never loved you in the first place?

“Well, I guess we'll find out. I'm not seeking him out, nor will I cause a scene, but I can't be worried about Steve's feelings when I'm here burying my mother. If he gets his ass chapped about it, oh well. He broke my heart, and I've had to live with that every day since I found out I was pregnant. You know it hasn't been easy, especially knowing James wasn't conceived because Steve was in love with me. Clearly, he was only fucking me out of a sense of obligation. So again, his feelings no longer matter.” Nat just stares at you, shaking her head.  

“Ok!” Nat finally break the silence. “Enough of this talk, let's order some pizza and then we'll head to the hospital. James can stay here with Clint. I think Bucky's coming over tonight? Said he couldn't wait to meet his namesake!”

You grab the now empty cups and head to the kitchen, “I'm surprised he hasn't told Steve about him!” You shouted to her from the sink.

“Yeah well, I may have threatened his balls, and he says he pretty attached to them, so he promised to keep it a secret!” Leave it to Nat to find a person's weakness and exploit it.

Walking into the funeral home hadn't been easy for you. The last time you had to do this was in Atlanta six years ago, doing this same exact thing for your father. You weren't on good terms with him when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer or when he passed; he'd left you and your mother in Brooklyn when you were twelve and barely gave you the time of day, so leaving to go be with him before he died was an internal struggle you held to this day. That decision was made easier when your then boyfriend said those words that still played on repeat in your head daily. You would never forget them no matter how many years had gone by.

As Natasha had said, the viewing began an hour before the service and people started to file in, paying their last respects to the woman who had meant so much, to so many. Clint handed you a travel pack of tissues, knowing you'd need it for the water works that were bound to eventually flow from your eyes and you couldn’t be happier at how astute he really was.

“Y/N! It's so good to see you!” Sam exclaimed, leaning in and giving you a tight hug. “I've missed you beautiful.” He says in your ear, low enough for only you to hear and you were thankful for that.

“I've missed you too…it's been way too long.”

The man nods in agreement and gives you a halfcocked grin. “Yes, it has. Talking on the phone just isn't enough anymore. I hope this means you'll be taking up residence here again...you know this is home, and we're your family. We can't just let you leave to deal with this on your own.” He's giving you a stern look, like a teacher scolding a student.  

“Sam…”

“Don't Sam, me!” He interrupted, but his voice remaining very calm. “You know he's here…and once he sees you and James, he'll fight for you to stay.” You roll your eyes at your friend, unimpressed by his talk of Steve. “I'm also not saying forgive him…but, maybe you should hear his side. Don't make a hasty decision until you have all the variables.”

God, you wish you could hate this man, but you can't. Sam's always been the more sensible one of your friends, giving you solace when Nat’s words weren't enough. “You're a good egg, Sam.”

He laughs at your attempt to lighten the mood. “Hard boiled, or scrambled?” Asking through his continued laugh.

“Both!” You leaned in and hugged him again, before parting ways so you could welcome more guests.

It wasn't long before the one person you wanted to avoid came into view, and you instantly stiffened up in panic. Steve was still very much the same tall, blond, handsome guy he had been when you left. Even through his white shirt button up shirt and black suit jacket, you could see the definition of his muscles. The only thing that had visibly changed in the past six years was his face. It was thinner, more defined. Steve had aged well and taken care of himself since you left. Of course, he did. He was probably out there screwing all of Brooklyn, he needed to be in tip top shape.

“Careful, doll…,” you hear the voice in your ear, “don't let him catch you staring. He might see that as an invitation.” Bucky's smirking next to you.

You roll your eyes and shake your head. “An invitation it's not, but you...on the other hand...I've had my eye on you for days now…,” you turned to face him, “why am I not in your bed?”

Bucky laughed at your question. “Because of that man right there!” He's pointing at Steve who's now making his way over to the casket. “I don't care what happened or what he said to you. He lied, and he's never gotten over you. So, no…I won't be bedding you, even though I most certainly want to.” The brunette kisses you softly on your forehead.

There had always been an attraction between the two of you, but James Barnes was known for breaking hearts and yours was one he never wanted to hurt, so you kept everything at a platonic level; with an extra heavy dose of flirting and pushing each other's limits as much as possible. Steve was never bothered by it when you two were together, knowing there were some lines that would never be crossed. This banter was something you had been missing from your life since you'd been gone.

“Don't look now…,” Bucky brings you from your thoughts, “looks like we have trouble on the horizon.”

You look over at the casket and Steve is bent down talking to a child...your child. “Shit! I was not ready for this!” You take in a deep breath.

“Relax…,” Bucky places a hand on your back hoping to calm your nerves, “go...and stay calm.”

Nodding your head, you knew this was going to happen, you just didn't expect it to come to a head this soon.  

As you walked over to them, time seemed to stand still. Even though it was only seconds, it felt like an eternity; watching the rather innocent interaction between father and son. Both blonde’s facing each other, lost in conversation, facial expressions matching with ease. It's how you would have wanted things to be if life had been different, but life has never been kind to you. It certainly won't be now.  

“James…,” you say on approach and both of their attentions are now on you, “is everything ok?”

Steve has now stood up and is facing you, his expression very unreadable.

“Mom, this is Steve…he's my dad!” The five-year-old says matter of factly like it was just another day.

You smile and nod at his direct approach knowing there was no way out of this moment and you would have to face the music. “So, it would seem. Are you sure?”

Steve inhales a breath but still doesn't speak.  

“I know he's my dad, you showed me pictures...and you said he lives here!” James’ five-year-old brain is working overtime processing everything you've ever told him about Steve. You've always been honest with him about his father's existence, just not why he's never met him.  

“So now that we've met, I can keep him, right? You said he'd want me if we ever ran into him, so now we have!”

Damn his astute little brain. This was not how this was supposed to go. The kid was a genius, turning things to his advantage and was too smart for his own good. Looks like you'll have to bite the bullet on this one, taking the full force of the hit. No turning back now.

“Perhaps the adults should talk now, sweetheart. I think uncle Bucky needs a James sized hug. Can you do that for me?”

You look over and Bucky is motioning for his namesake to join him. James lets out a sigh and gives you a pout, turning away without so much as a word and running into Bucky's outstretched arms.

Steve stands there watching the entire thing stoically, processing everything that has happened in the few short moments since his arrival. You know he has questions, but this was not the time for them. The last thing you need is a scene at the funeral home in front of anyone that's ever known you or your mother.  

“I have a-”

“Let me stop you right there!” You interrupt him before he can finish his sentence. “Not here, not now. You have questions, I got answers, but they wait until after this is finished...understand?” You look at him sternly and you can see him swallow and exhale a breath you're pretty sure he didn't know he was holding.

Steve nods in agreement but doesn't look happy that you're not discussing the issue right now.  

“Good! I have to go, but…,” you look over towards your son still hanging out with Bucky, sitting on his lap playing some unknown game on his phone, “James, I'm sure he told you his name is James. He's five. His favorite color is blue, and he has a turtle named ‘Snape’. He loves pepperoni pizza, waffles and fish tacos and hates all green vegetables. Those are the basics, and all I can give you at this time. And, you should probably sit close by. Now that he's seen you, he'll want to sit by you. He's a people person and since you are his people…”  

You turned away from Steve and made your way back to greeting the many people that came to pay their respects to your mom.

This is what you didn’t want, but knew you’d have to face. Everything needed to come out at this point, and nothing could be left unsaid. It wasn’t just about you and Steve and more. James had finally met the man who was his father, and that would be the hardest thing to separate. Brooklyn was no longer your home anymore. Steve would be hard-pressed to ever change that.  

Part 2

[fortunatelylori]

Why the Jon/D*any romance doesn’t work (Part 3)

When everyone and their mother has a different take on the same line of text

I must warn you in advance. In this 3rd post in the series (1, 2) we will go down the rabbit hole every woman has found herself in while reading her Tinder messages trying to extract some sort of meaning from a seemingly unrelated string of emojis.

Yes, boys and girls, now is the time to try and answer the all-important question that has plagued womanhood since the beginning of time: What does Jon mean when Jon says words?

Answering this question is extremely difficult since most of what he says can be interpreted in different ways. People have chalked it up to bad writing, rushed storyline and the actor’s limitations but is that really a fair assessment?

When analyzing the Jon/Dany scenes more closely, you begin to realize that they work on multiple levels both plotting wise and emotionally. It’s that both the direction of the scenes as well as the actor’s mannerisms aren’t what people expect them to be in that situation. The writers aren’t doing a bad job at presenting you a generic romance, they’re working overtime to both give you the basic structure of said romance while at the same time subverting every trope that they employ.

When trying to take things at face value and analyze the scenes as romantic in nature, the more I was hit with lines upon lines of dialogue that were vague, banal and impersonal. I started envisioning my scriptwriting editor taking out her red pen and cutting out these lines with notes like: what does that even mean?!? Because no editor in their right mind would’ve let this dialogue and these scenes as they are.

So why were these allowed to be filmed into a production of this level? My explanation for this is that these lines and scenes, while uninspired and unflattering to the character or the actor forced to speak them, do have the advantage of allowing the audience to read whatever they want into them, which they will because of how hotly anticipated this ship was. They’re simply allowing you to get tangled in the web so they can pull the rug from under your feet in season 8.

It might seem like I’m exalting the Ds writing abilities to extraordinary levels. But I’m not. It’s not that brilliant, to be honest. It’s a trick, nothing more. And they do it because they can. No other TV show could get away with inciting a ship this way only to annul everything put on screen later on. No show except Game of Thrones and no other ship except Jonerys. Why? Because Jonerys didn’t need to convince people to root for them, those people were already on board the ship long before Jon and Dany danced the devil’s tango. This has been one of the most hotly anticipated romances in TV history so the scenes only came to enforce what people wanted to see.

So do the writers really have anything to lose by trolling us? It doesn’t matter if Jonerys is real or fake, underdeveloped or the world’s most epic romance., everyone on planet Earth will still be tuning in to see every episode of the next season. If the Ds decide to confirm their fans dreams, then everyone who isn’t onboard will have to shrug off the inconsistencies and move on. If the political!jon theory is revealed in season 8, they will be hailed as the greatest twisters in the history of twisting. Every TV critic will write about it, will publish think pieces and then one day they will stumble on to Tumblr and discover my metas and I will become famous the world over …. Hey, a girl can dream, right?

So, let’s forget for a second that Dany and Jon were the ship that broke the internet and let’s look at the rest of the island scenes keeping in mind both the romance but also the possible subversion of said romance.

Scene 6:

Happy to report that Dany did not ask Jon to bend the knee in this scene.

Yay!

Progress!

Sort of …

There are 3 major things that are wrong with this scene in terms of the romance subplot:

1.       Jon’s reaction to Dany’s temper tantrum.

He looks like he’s about to send her to her room, with no supper. Btw, I hate it when people say that Kit Harrington is a bad actor. He might not be acting out what people want to see but his micro expressions are pretty on point.

Jon isn’t wrong in being frustrated by Dany’s public humiliation of her hand. However, it does undermine the romance, particularly since Jon’s reaction goes unnoticed by Dany. And the whole thing could have been avoided had the people behind the camera simply not shown us his reaction at all. These types of reaction shots are not filmed simultaneously with the rest of the scene so it’s actually a lot of extra camera work, positioning and actors doing the same scene over and over again just to show us that Jon is annoyed by Dany but chooses not to say anything. And they do this because the script, the blueprint of the story, told them to do it.

Alternatively, you could have these reaction shots take on a positive connotation by having Jon intervene and lecture her on her rudeness, for example. That would position him as the only person willing to tell her the truth, another romantic trope that pops up in couplings all the time. But the script doesn’t go there, instead planting this seed of Jon as being duplicitous in his interactions with the woman he’s supposed to have developed feelings for by now.  

Like I said, the writers don’t have a lot of time on their hands. They need to get us all on this ship as quickly as possible; there are only 3 episodes left. And yet they continue to torpedo our trust in this romance at every turn.

1.       Dany turning to Jon for help is unearned.

As we’ve already established they’ve spent the last 5 scenes talking about knee bendings, white walkers and little else. There is no common ground between the two of them that would make this request remotely romantic. So when Dany, out of the blue, decides to ask Jon what she should do, we can’t go: “Oh, look! They trust each other now. They’re a team.” On the contrary, we’re as taken aback by this as Jon is.

2.       He doesn’t actually help her.

The conversation goes like this:

Dany: what do you think I should do?

Jon: Don’t burn people alive.

Dany is moved by his speech, so moved in fact that she doesn’t notice he didn’t actually give her any advice on what to do, just a general rule of thumb on not turning people into torches.

This a pretty blatant subversion of what is a very useful trick writers use to build trust and intimacy in a romantic plot: have one of the partners help the other with a problem that they have.

By writing yet another general, non-committal response from Jon, they’re denying us, the audience, the reason to cheer for this romantic pairing and thus frustrating the momentum needed to credibly build up this relationship.

Scene 7: (or as I like to call it the “there’s a bridge I’d like to sell you” scene)

It doesn’t do this scene any favors that whenever Missandei starts talking about Dany, all I can think is “cult recruiter”.

It’s like she’s heading the welcome parade into Jonestown…

Leaving that disturbing imagery aside, why is this scene so deeply unsatisfying?

In order to answer that, what we really have to ask ourselves is what is the purpose of this scene? There are no useless scenes in scriptwriting. Every scene must serve a part in telling the story.

Is the purpose here to show that Missandei idolizes Dany? It can’t be. We already know that. Is it foreshadowing for Davos moving to Narth because it sounds like a “liberating” place? Doesn’t quite sound right.

It must be a scene that pays service to the Tyrion/Jon scene where Jon is advised to seek out people close to Dany. So the purpose of this scene is to see Jon learning some very positive things about Dany, from her number one fan. This feels like a very natural progression, because we’ve seen this done in stories a million times before. So I think most people will not really look very deep into this scene to really realize why by the end of it, the romantic plot hasn’t advanced at all.

The reason why this scene doesn’t serve its romantic purposel is because  the whole structure of it is wrong.

Let me explain. We start the scene with

Davos: What do you think about her?

Jon: I think she has a good heart.

This line is problematic to begin with because we have seen Dany do nothing that would indicate to Jon that she has a good heart. Since he’s been here, he’s been turned from King to Lord, to simply Jon Snow, he’s seen her humiliate Tyrion, refuse to help him fight the white walkers and develop a troubling bended knee fetish. So what is it that would prompt him to say that?

Well … what is the number one argument that Dany’s fans always bring up when people criticize her? I think it goes along the lines of: But she was doing it for the right reasons. She’s a good person … She has a good heart.

 I think this is the writers at their most trolliest giving people deeply invested in this ship something to cling onto when saying that this romance does actually exist, while simultaneously making people that dislike the ship tremble in their boots a little at the thought that it might be reciprocal.

 And just to make anti-Jonerys’ tremble even more, they double down with this little gem:

Davos: A good heart? I’ve noticed you starring at her good heart.

Yeah … sorry writers, I ain’t tremblin’. I’m a woman. I’ve developed a sixth sense for men checking out a girl’s … wolf bits. It looks a bit like this …

Nice try though!

How does Jon respond to Davos’ appraisal? Does he get flustered that he’s been found out? Does he reject it outright as a vile falsehood?

Jon: There’s no time for that.

And here I must ask again: what do the words that Jon ejects from his mouth mean?!? Does he use the excuse of the white walkers to hide his secret attraction? Does he mean it literally? Is Dany like the Flash, so quick there’s no time to look at her cleavage? Or is he letting out his frustration at having to play out this parody while the world is on the verge of annihilation, as the political!jon theory would support?

 The point is we don’t know. We can claw each other’s eyes out over this all we want. The line is left vague for a reason. We, unlike Jon for once, know nothing.

 Then we get to Missandei’s speech. She’s essentially the Pope of Daenerism. The main message of her speech is

Missandei: My queen has a good heart

Great. So why did we need this scene again?!? So Jon could find out what he already said he knew? Maybe he needed some reinforcement. What was his reaction to Missandei’s ode, you ask?

Can’t read my … can’t read my … nobody can read my poker face …

Followed by the old, faithful romantic classic

Jon: Is that a Greyjoy ship?!?

 So … a 2 min scene of writers trolling and an aerial shot of a ship … and absolutely no progress on the romance front. No wonder this scene is frustrating.

 Humor me for a moment and imagine this scene in a different sequence.Move Missandei’s speech in the beginning and end the scene with Jon saying Dany has a good heart. Eliminate the ship altogether. Doesn’t it feel like a better set-up and make the scene less repetitive and more romantic?

Scene 8:

The first part of this scene is breathtaking. Leaving aside everything else, it’s astounding to see how far television has gotten in terms of what they can present on screen. Everything from the CGI, to the scope of the shot, to the colors, music and scenery is stunning. It’s perhaps the most memorable moment of the entire season. Plot wise, it’s also extremely meaningful.

 Because of the stunning imagery, this has led people to interpret it as romantic in nature. But it isn’t. This is not about the Jon/Dany romance at all, but rather about R+L=J, about Jon himself and his nature. We’ve never seen another person apart from Dany get so close to Drogon before, let alone pet him. And all this is punctuated by Kit Harrington playing Jon as completely overwhelmed. As he should be. He’s doing something that people haven’t been able to do for 300 years and, more importantly than that, he’s doing something that feels strangely familiar to him.

 That’s why all those gif sets showing Jon as completely in awe that imply he’s looking at Dany are so frustrating. Watch this scene again and you’ll see that he’s holding eye contact with Drogon throughout, punctuated even by a close-up of the dragon’s eye looking at Jon. It’s only Dany that looks at him curiously, seeing him interact with her favorite pet/child.

 If you’re going to frame those looks as romantic in nature, you shouldn’t be shipping Jonerys at all but rather … Jonon? Drojon? Can’t decide …

 So, if we eliminate this first part, and concentrate solely on Jon and Dany’s conversation, what happens?

They disagree on whether fire breathing lizards are beautiful, gorgeous, beasts or children.

 Dany: They are not beasts to me. They are my children.

Jon’s face says it all really … (gif courtesy of @thelawyerthatwaspromised)

No resolution is reached on this front. So Jon abruptly changes the subject.

 Like I said in my previous post, romantic couples don’t reach this type of communicational impasses. They duke it out to the end or reach common ground. That’s what makes them work.

 But it gets worse. Not even the awkward transition to another subject leads to anything.

Jon: You weren’t gone long.

Dany: No.

Jon: And?

Dany: And I have fewer enemies today than I did yesterday.

Silence … Very awkward silence … Dany literally has to push the conversation forward and …

Dany: You don’t know how you feel about that

Jon: No, I don’t

…it still doesn’t go anywhere. The writers keep breaking the momentum of their dialogue over and over again and frustrating both Dany and the audience.

Just look at that face. That’s the face I pull every time I come back home from a bad date.

But Dany is a stubborn girl. She tries again, with another awkward change of subject.

Dany: When you first came here, Ser Davos said you took a knife to the heart for your people.

Jon: Ser Davos gets carried away.

This would have been the perfect time for Jon to open up, at least a little bit. He thinks she has a good heart after all, right? But no. He not only avoids the subject, he lies outright. Why? Why would he lie? And more importantly why do the writers want to keep Dany at arm’s length from Jon this far into their relationship?

Dany doesn’t completely believe him but have no fear!

 Luckily the plot intervenes before Jon is forced to answer. Heaven forbid that we get a meaningful conversation between 2 people that are about to have sex a few scenes from now. The less 2 people talk, share their feelings and experiences, the more impactful their romance is. Isn’t that how it goes?

 The introduction of Jorah in this scene is significant because the dreaded competitor for the maiden’s heart is a trope used to excess in romantic plots.

 No matter that the writers haven’t built up enough of a connection between Jon and Dany for us to feel the stakes of introducing this new element into their romance. Finally, now we have the opportunity to see Jon look jealous and feel that his bond to Dany is threatened by someone with whom she shares so much history. Sure he might be standoffish and cryptic when it’s just the two of them but surely he won’t be able to control himself when he sees his lady love hug another man. So what do you say, Jon?

P p p poker face, p p p poker face

Scene 9:

I won’t analyze this entire scene because most of it is not linked to the romantic subplot and also … it’s stupid. The whole hunt plot is stupid and Tyrion should lay off the bottle immediately. It’s affecting his intellectual skills.

 We will resume ourselved to the 3 romantic beats withing the scene.

 So, we start promisingly enough with Jon letting everyone know that Arya and Bran are alive. There’s no context as to why he decided to announce this in front of a room of strangers so read into that what you will. Perhaps he wanted to share the happy news with Dany …

Dany: I’m happy for you

 Silence

 Dany: You don’t look happy.

 Silence

 Perhaps we could tell from his expression?

Lady Gaga ran out of lyrics, you guys … sorry about that …

End of topic. No need to explore this momentous event for Jon or have the opportunity to see him sharing his happiness with the love of his life. That’s what fanfiction is for.

 Then there’s the part when Jorah offers to hunt down a zombie to bring back as trophy for his heart’s desire. This has, of course, prompted people to speculate that Jon decides to go on the hunt in order to one up him in Dany’s eyes. Which is not outlandish, per se. That’s what happens in a love triangle after all.

 However there are two issues with this.

 One - there is absolutely no one in the audience that thought Jon would not go on this hunt since the moment it was proposed. He was Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, he’s the only one in that room who has gone beyond the wall and the only one who has actually fought the army of the dead. Jorah or no Jorah, the scene would have ended with Jon going on the hunt. That sort of undercuts the whole jealousy angle.

 Secondly there’s this peculiar sequence of lines after Jorah says he’ll go:

Jon: The free folk will help us

Davos: They won’t follow Ser Jorah.

 Surely, if jealousy was what the writers were going for, those two lines should have been inversed. That could be construed as an attack on Jorah’s abilities by Jon and could lead to a starring context between the two, right before they’d take their shirts off and duke it out in the rain while Dany watches in rapture from the window.

 Does that sound like a ridiculous, over the top, infantile scenario? Sure … But let’s make one thing very clear. Writers do not introduce romantic triangles into stories because they want to keep it classy. They introduce it so that at some point we can end up here:

The last of the romantic plot in the scene comes right after Jon says he’ll go on the hunt.

Dany: I haven’t given you permission to leave.

This line pulls double duty in terms of plotting. It just does it in the wrong direction. On one hand, it torpedoes the love triangle because Dany clearly doesn’t want to let Jon go while she doesn’t have that many qualms about Jorah potentially freezing to death or getting killed. So with 8 words a triangle that started a scene ago has been turned back to a straight line for the audience. That’s no way to build up tension between your characters.

 The second thing it does is that it shows, once again, just how one sided this whole relationship is. Because Jon is not at all touched by Dany’s concern for his well-being.

 In fact he seems rather annoyed by her attempt.

Jon: With all due respect, your Grace, I don’t need your permission. I am a King.

This has been described as a ‘panty dropping’ line. Except that depending on where your alligencies lie, the interpretation for why it pulverizes underwear is different. People that are invested in this ship say that this is the moment Jon proved himself a good King to Dany. People that reject this ship see it as the moment when Jon regains his agency and status, after being humiliated by not only the queen, but also her servant when denied his rightful title.

 Again, this is a problem. Because you shouldn’t have two contradictory explanations for one line this late in the plot. By this point we should all agree on the basic meaning behind what Jon says, whether we like the pairing or not.

 Also:

Jon: I put my trust in you … a stranger […] Now I’m asking you to trust in a stranger.

 We end this scene with Jon calling the two of them ‘strangers’. It kind of feels like we’ve been through 9 scenes and three episodes of romantic build-up and we have nothing to show for it.

Scene 10:

This scene has been analyzed a lot so I won’t dwell too much on it. The reason why it’s gotten so much interest is because of the ‘look back’ trope.

Jon not looking back is not, in and of itself, a problem. In isolation, it can be seen as a missed opportunity on the writers’ part. Adding the fact that Dany does follow him with her eyes for quite a bit just like the lovely John Thornton does with Margaret Hale in the gif above, does put a blemish on the whole thing.

But then the writers for some reason double down on this motif by having Jorah look back at Dany. And then the camera also includes Jon pointedly NOT looking back.

Look at the boy go … It’s like he’s trying out for the Forest Gump remake. Run, Jon, run!

Once you put all of these elements together in one scene it becomes less of a frustrating lack of romantic fulfillment and more of an intentional message that is very hard to ignore.

But let’s leave that to the side and talk about their last words to each other.

Jon: If I don’t return, at least you won’t have to deal with the King in the North anymore

Dany: I’ve grown used to him

Jon: I wish you good fortune in the wars to come, Your Grace

I’ve already pointed out in my first post of the series how deeply unwise it would be to have Jon say good-bye to Dany by using Mance Rayder’s last words to Stannis if we were to look at this scene in a romantic way.

 It isn’t just the fact that Stannis and Mance were enemies. It’s also problematic because Mance was on his way to being burned alive for not bending the knee. Fire is something that the audience connects to Dany immediately. And what was the main bone of contention for these 2 characters throughout Jon’s stay on the island?

Aside from that, the dynamic between them is exactly the same. Dany’s attempt at warmth and intimacy is flanked by two general, formal statements by Jon, the first of which is actually a bit passive-aggressive if you remember that Dany requested he bend the knee so she could name him Warden of the North.

 Also, this is put in direct contrast with the way Jorah says good-bye to her.

Dany: We should be better at saying farewell by now.

Jorah: Your Grace, I …

Jorah’s line is interrupted by Dany grabbing his hands. This touch elicits such a powerful emotional response from him that he can’t continue his train of thought. He simply bends his head and kisses her hand.

 If you were saying good-bye to someone you love, which one of these two responses would feel more bitter-sweet and romantic? Which one would you like to receive?  

 If you say Jon’s …. Well then:

(source: @dreamofspring)

Thank you guys so much for all your great feed-back and a special thank you to @thelawyerthatwaspromised for supplying me with some of the gifs in this post. They were a life saver. The rest of the gifs and clips also do not belong to me. I picked them up from all over the place so if you recognize your work, let me know and I will add the source below the pic. Thank you!

Also: 

stay tuned for part 4 

[defenestrata]

slowly slides in and places fred + all on ur desk :) time for Perishing !

sdjfsdhjfsdhi’m love you. okay so ladies and gents we are taking a trip away from london and korea and heading to the united states which is where this is set, massachusetts most specifically. onto freddie —

QUESTIONS FOR YOUR OCs

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

a solid five minutes. he’s not hyperactive or anything, but just, the feeling of doing nothing is so awful to him. he has no chill. meditation isn’t real. also like, he sometimes gets little intrusive thoughts if he’s tired.

How easy is it for your character to laugh?

surprisingly easy ! fred laughs at a lot of things, despite how preppy and harsh he may seem at first. of course, half of it is either fake or a bit overenthusiastic but he’ll laugh. he’ll laugh at a lot of things. 

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

usually studying for a bit — he does that before bed anyway. otherwise, it’s usually not that hard for him to fall asleep. he works hard and sleeps harder. 

How easy is it to earn their trust?

no one has ever earned frederick michael estelle’s full trust. not his father, not his mother, not his two step-mothers, not his brother, not any of his friends. it’s for the better that way, in his opinion. superficial trust for small things though, is easy to earn, so long as you’re a decent human being. 

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

well, whatever someone has done really has to bother him on a very moral level in order for him to genuinely refuse to trust someone even superficially. otherwise, because he rarely shares his secrets or deep considerations, trust isn’t even a big deal to him. 

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

at the beginning of his character development, he has an enormous respect for law, and considers them completely immovable. over time, he comes to understand the flaws of modern america and adopts a less extremist point of view. 

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

drives with packed cars. diners. marble floors. loads of things. fred’s childhood was peak americana, with an upper class vibe to boot. he spent a lot of time at dinner parties and in tuxedos, in debates, getting a convertible for his sixteenth birthday and so forth. what in generally triggers the most nostalgia for him is his home city ; boston. god, he loves that place, despite all its flaws. and he loves that feeling, especially because he can always relive many of his memories that are related to the city. 

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?

fred was a good kid, to be quite honest. he was always determined to impress everyone around him, so he’d bend to their will if they wanted him to act a certain way. refinement? you got it. charisma? work up the charm. intelligence? bring it on. if anything, he had some frustration and anger issues in his teens, especially in between his father’s marriages, and he was told to shut up and deal with it. and that’s what he did. 

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

like a motherfucking sailor. he may be WASP-y but he’s seen how much high society curses, so go ahead. swearing is a more effective way of getting rid of anger than — breaking things, or whatever other people might do. and fred is bad at bottling things up. first swear word was probably ‘fuck’. a classic. and he has immense respect for classics. 

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

fred doesn’t lie too often, but he does make a lot of false promises, mostly related to visiting his family. he hates going back home, which is unfortunate considering he studies less than an hour away from his hometown. he’s tried everything from the ‘i’m sick’ excuse to ‘declamation club’ to ‘broken ankle’ to avoid visits. 

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

perish. he’s a stubborn fool who will try to understand everything on his own terms, and if he gets an incomplete picture, too bad, he’ll live with it. although he knows he probably won’t get an incorrect picture in the first place, he’s just way too thorough for that. 

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

get a friend to scratch it for him. duh. 

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

fred looks pretty good in sober colours, and its what he usually wears too. but, just as a wild card, he does look really, really, good in more adventurous choices, especially stark whites, blacks and even reds. but he’ll never wear them, he hates looking loud and attention-seeking. 

What animal do they fear most?

no animal. why the hell would you be scared of animals in new england —

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

extremely confident, and he’s well-capable of thinking as he talks without much hesitation. it’s really one of his best talents, making sense while giving great presentations with fantastic oration. he doesn’t need to rehearse jack. 

What makes their stomach turn?

people crying or screaming, it just has him totally taken aback, which he’s not as used to as you’d think. he is utterly incapable of handling debates in a rational manner if he’s being goddamn screamed at. 

Are they easily embarrassed?

surprisingly, yes. underneath that façade of utter and sheer confidence, he’s really concerned with maintaining that impression with others. he doesn’t take kindly to being humiliated or having his pride attacked. he won’t respond with embarassment as much as he’ll respond with unbridled rage. and angry fred is terrifying. 

What embarrasses them?

levity in situations which do not need it. so pranks, mocking jokes, being teased or belittled in public. compliments don’t embarass him one bit until they become on the subject of his looks. then he gets a little flushed, but flattered nonetheless.

What is their favourite number?

why does that even matter ?? ( it’s 9. ) 

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

he’d bark at being asked to define familial love, he’d say it doesn’t exist. and then if you asked about platonic and romantic love he’d tell you to buzz off. it’s one of the questions he just doesn’t know how to answer. in his conception, if he’d want to kiss them and marry them, it’s romantic. 

Why do they get up in the morning?

because you don’t get rich and hit it big without fucking working. he’s actually really driven, half out of demonic pressures to do well, and half out of spite for his brother, who he has to out-do in every respect.

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

jealous fred is the worst. he will get so aggressive and possessive and rude, with seemingly little control. however, it takes a lot to push him to that limit, and he’s usually good at warding off encroachers on what’s his before they even try to make a move. 

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

there’s really only one thing that he’s envious about — the love and attention his parents give his elder brother nicholas who’s just as much of a prick as he is, except just a little less concerned with doing the right thing. and he’s pretty much made it his life’s goal to get to the world of finance quicker than nick and do better. 

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?

kind of ? he’s a hot-blooded teenager so it’s not like sex is something sinful or foreign to him, but he doesn’t really discuss it with people anyway because there’s no one he’s close enough to talk to about it. also, why would you talk about it anyway — it’s not even something worth discussing. 

What are their thoughts on marriage?

to summarise: marriage is great, but only if you’ve found the one. since finding your version of the ‘one’ is impossible, and will likely lead to at least two divorces that permanently fucksup your kid’s perceptions of family and marriage — don’t ever get married. @ his dad. 

What is their preferred mode of transportation?

his own car. that kind of freedom can’t be beat. 

What causes them to feel dread?

situations that he’s unprepared for, essentially. if some kind of curveball comes at him (and he didn’t know that there would be curveballs involved), he’ll panic. it’s why he needs his more inventive friends around to be at his best.

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

nah. rip the band-aid off. end the suffering quick. besides, it’s not like he’s had the privilege of knowing a lot of sweet lies over the course of his life.

Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

every now and then he gets something done that he’s really proud of, and that’s when he considers himself to have ‘lived up to his ideals’, but it’s usually only for the short term, and the gratification is there and gone in an instant. 

Who do they most regret meeting?

all his friends at uni. 

Who are they the gladdest to have met?

all his friends at uni. now figure that one out. 

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

most of his stories are kind of posh experiences like country clubs and stuff, but he’s seen a lot of businessmen’s embarassing moments. he’s really good at anecdotal humour. 

Could they be considered lazy?

nah, def not. if he needs to get something done, he’ll get it done, with the maximum delay of a day or so. of course, that’s only when he’s feeling healthy and normal. if he’s reached a threshold of despair or whatever, then he’s way less productive. 

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

easy tbh? if something was his fault then he makes sure to try and make up for it before the guilt starts weighing in on him. of course, if these matters are emotional then he takes a longer while to make up for it, so he starts Perishing sooner. 

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

he … tries to be. it’s fine when someone comes up to him to chatter about their new favourite video game, but not when someone shows up excited about their new boyfriend or girlfriend or significant other. he’ll listen, sure — but he won’t really listen, y’know. 

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

he was highkey hoping that college would be the time when he finally experiences the mystery of love. but it’s not really looking that way — he has way too much coursework. 

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

fred’s memory is impeccable. he laughs in the face of your puny lists and phone notes. names and numbers are doable, but if things need to go a particular order, usually he can just brute force the memory in. just parrot it. 

What memory do they revisit the most often?

times with his first stepmom. she was the only one that actually tried to be more than just a wife to his dad, tried to be a mom. took him places he wanted to go, bought him stuff, baked cookies for his bake sales and accompanied him on school trips as a chaperone. she was the closest to a mom that fred will ever get.

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

he can’t ignore them, really. it’ll always be there at the back of his mind that you’re loud or you’re irresponsible or that you’re arrogant. but that’s not all there is to you. so he’s pretty level headed in that respect. 

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

not.. at all. he says he accepts constructive criticism but he doesn’t consider a lot of criticism constructive. he’s surprisingly bad at handling criticism. he just thinks he knows better than most people. 

How do they feel about children?

they’re okay. not great. he could do without them. 

How badly do they want to reach their end goal?

so. so. SO. badly. his end goal is to eventually surpass his elder brother in terms of material success without resorting to foul means. and by GOD he will do it. 

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

[ bo burnham voice ] straight…. white…. man

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?

he’s a fool. but he’s my fool. also he’s like…. a really old oc lmao i made him in like … 2014? and he was in middle school back then so it really feels like he’s grown with me as i shifted him to a college story. 

B) What inspired you to create them?

i wanted to make a vaguely contradictory kinda character where he’s a total mess and extremely capable at the same time. so he’s very productive, smart, efficient, but also has a short temper, panics in every situation that he’s not ready for, and so forth. 

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

he was the sidekick to kazu, my mc. but by now each one of them stand on their own. 

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

i think he was a ginger in the first draft. he’s got dirty blonde hair now. he’s also a bit more… muscular, shall we say. 

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

maybe? i’d think he was a prick to be honest. i feel like we’d get along only if we were forced to get to know each other. but otherwise we wouldn’t even want to meet. 

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

he’s my idiot son. a combination of pride and frustration and amusement. 

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

he truly needs to fucking RELAX like fred please not everything is a matter of personal pride and performance. 

H) What trait do you admire most?

he’s very sincere. surprisingly moral, wants to do things honestly and with integrity. the way he takes everything so seriously is honestly kind of cute sometimes. 

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

three cheers for unoriginality!

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

ok i still don’t know what this question means but to be safe i’m gonna say no. 

[naturecpw]

Hummingbirds Are Where Intuition Goes to Die

A long-held belief about how hummingbirds drink is wrong—and the truth is really weird. Ed Yong  -  Nov 29, 2017

When Margaret Rubega first read about how hummingbirds drink, she thought to herself: That can’t possibly be right.

Hummingbirds drink nectar using tongues that are so long that, when retracted, they coil up inside the birds’ heads, around their skulls and eyes. At its tip, the tongue divides in two and its outer edges curve inward, creating two tubes running side by side. The tubes don’t close up, so the birds can’t suck on them as if they were straws. Instead, scientists believed that the tubes are narrow enough to passively draw liquid into themselves. That process is called capillary action. It’s why water soaks into a paper towel, why tears emerge from your eyes, and ink runs into the nibs of fountain pens.

This explanation, first proposed in 1833, was treated as fact for more than a century. But it made no sense to Rubega when she heard about it as a graduate student in the 1980s. Capillary action is a slow process, she realized, but a drinking hummingbird can flick its tongue into a flower up to 18 times a second. Capillary action also is aided by gravity, so birds should find it easier to drink from downward-pointing flowers—and they don’t. And capillary action is even slower for thicker liquids, so hummingbirds should avoid supersweet nectar that’s too syrupy—and they don’t.

“I was in this very odd position,” says Rubega. “I was only a graduate student and all these really well-known people had done all this math. How could they be wrong?”

Even while she turned her attention to other birds, the hummingbird dilemma continued to gnaw at her. And decades later, as a professor at the University of Connecticut, she hired a student named Alejandro Rico-Guevara who would help her solve the mystery.

Born in Colombia, Rico-Guevara remembers spotting a hermit hummingbird on a fateful field trip in the Amazon. In the jungle, most animals are heard rather than seen, but the hermit flew right up and hovered in front of his face. “It was just there for a split second but it was clear that it had a completely different personality than other birds in the forest.” He fell in love, and started studying the birds. And when he read the capillary-action papers, he felt the same pang of disbelief that Rubega did. “We decided to go after it,” says Rubega. “Is it capillary action? And if not, what’s going on? We just wanted to know.”

Rico-Guevara handcrafted artificial flowers with flat glass sides, so he could film the birds’ flickering tongues with high-speed cameras. It took months to build the fake blooms, to perfect the lighting, and to train the birds to visit these strange objects. But eventually, he got what he wanted: perfectly focused footage of a hummingbird tongue, dipping into nectar. At 1,200 frames per second, “you can’t see what’s happening until you check frame by frame,” he says. But at that moment, “I knew that on my movie card was the answer. It was this amazing feeling. I had something that could potentially change what we knew, between my fingers.”

Here’s what they saw when they checked the footage.

As the bird sticks its tongue out, it uses its beak to compress the two tubes at the tip, squeezing them flat. They momentarily stay compressed because the residual nectar inside them glues them in place. But when the tongue hits nectar, the liquid around it overwhelms whatever’s already inside. The tubes spring back to their original shape and nectar rushes into them.

The two tubes also separate from each other, giving the tongue a forked, snakelike appearance. And they unfurl, exposing a row of flaps along their long edges. It’s as if the entire tongue blooms open, like the very flowers from which it drinks.

When the bird retracts its tongue, all of these changes reverse. The tubes roll back up as their flaps curl inward, trapping nectar in the process. And because the flaps at the very tip are shorter than those further back, they curl into a shape that’s similar to an ice-cream cone; this seals the nectar in. The tongue is what Rubega calls a nectar trap. It opens up as it immerses, and closes on its way out, physically grabbing a mouthful in the process.

“This has been going on literally under our noses for the entire history of our association with hummingbirds and there it was,” says Rubega. “We were the first to see it.”

This same technique is also how the hummingbird swallows. Every time it extends its tongue, it presses down with its beak, squeezing the trapped nectar out. And since there’s limited space inside the beak, and the tongue is moving forward, there’s nowhere for that liberated nectar to go but backward. In this way, the tongue acts like a piston pump. As it pulls in, it brings nectar into the beak. As it shoots out, it pushes that same nectar toward the throat. The tongue even has flaps at its base, which fold out of the way as it moves forward but expand as it moves backwards, sweeping the nectar even further back.

The thing that really astonishes Rico-Guevara about all of this is that it is passive. The bird isn’t forcing its tongue open—that happens automatically when the tip enters liquid, because of the changing surface tension around it. Rico-Guevera proved that by sticking the tongue of a dead hummingbird into nectar—sure enough, it bloomed on its own. Likewise, the tongue closes automatically. It releases nectar automatically. It pushes that nectar backward automatically. The bird flicks its tongue in and out, and all else follows.

In hindsight, the surprising reality of the hummingbird tongue should have been entirely unsurprising. Almost everything about these animals is counterintuitive. Hummingbirds are the bane of easy answers. They’re where intuition goes to die.

Consider their origins. Today, hummingbirds are only found in the Americas, but fossils suggest that they originated in Eurasia, splitting off from their closest relatives—the scythe-winged swifts—around 42 million years ago. These ancestral hummingbirds likely flew over the land bridge that connected Russia and North America at the time. They fared well in the north, but they only thrived when they got to South America. In just 22 million years, those southern pioneers had diversified into hundreds of species, at least 338 of which are still alive today. And around 40 percent of those live in the Andes.

As evolutionary biologist Jim McGuire once told me, “the Andes are kind of the worst place to be a hummingbird.” Tall mountains mean thin air, which makes it harder to hover, and to get enough oxygen to fuel a gas-guzzling metabolism. And yet, the birds flourished. Their success shows no sign of stopping, either. By comparing the rates at which new species have emerged and old species go extinct, McGuire estimated that the number of hummingbird species will probably double in the next few million years.

As they evolved, they developed one of the most unusual flying styles of any bird—one that’s closer to insects. The wings of medium-sized species beat around 80 times a second, but probably not in the way you think. When I ask people to mimic a hummingbird’s wingbeats, they typically stick their hands out to the side and flap them up and down as fast as they can. That’s not how it works. Try this, instead. Press your elbows into your sides. Keep your forearms parallel to the ground and swing them in and out. Now, rotate your wrists in figure eights as you do it. Congratulations, you look ridiculous, but you’re also doing a decent impression of hummingbird flight.

That unusual wingbeat allows them to hover, but it also allows for more acrobatic maneuvers. Hummingbirds use that aerial agility to supplement their nectar diet with insects, which they snatch from the air. While many birds can do that, they typically have short beaks and wide gapes. Hummingbirds, by contrast, have long flower-probing bills and narrow gapes. “It’s like flying around with a pair of chopsticks on your face, trying to catch a moving rice grain,” says Rubega.

But once again, she has shown that there’s more to these birds than meets the eye. Another of her students, Gregor Yanega, found that as the birds open their mouths, they can actively bend the lower half of their beaks, giving it a pronounced kink and getting it out of the way. Then, the hummingbirds essentially ram insects with their open mouths.

High-speed cameras again revealed their trick. “The moment Gregor first saw a bird fly into frame and open its beak, he stopped, and said: Hey, can you look at this?” says Rubega. She walked in and he played the footage. She asked him to play it again, and he did. Just one more time, she said. He played it again.

“That is wild, and you should know that nobody has ever seen that before you,” she told him.

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2017/11/hummingbird-tongues/546992/

[russellthornton]

Oneitis: The Unhealthy Effects of Falling Madly in Obsessive Love

We all know where the line “O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?” ended up. A oneitis obessesion can become that tragic.

Oneitis is used to describe someone who—like Juliet—is head over heels in obsession with someone else. It’s life or death. A hypnosis of the mind. There’s absolutely no one who could possibly be more ideal than this one person in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

When you’re in it, that person is your everything—god forbid if you lost them… You’ve won the lottery. What the two of you have is unlike anything seen in the cosmos. Or they’re your dream partner. You just know you’re meant to be together. If only they also felt the same…

Sorry to rain on your parade of Disney emotions, but Doctor Dex is here to diagnose whether you have the oneitis disease. And to prognosticate on your chances of surviving it if you do.

Definition of oneitis

Oneitis is a term that became popular in the seduction community and the manosphere in particular. ‘Itis’ is actually a medical suffix used to let you know a word describes an inflammatory disease. So ONEitis therefore means a disease of the only-one-person-out-there-for-me type of thinking.

When you contract a belief in ‘one person for me and I hope I find them’ you exclude the gazillions of other possible love options available to you. You also potentially become over-fussy, never able to settle with one person. [Read: How to stop obsessing over someone: The 12 things you must do]

Furthermore, if you get with your dream fantasy partner, you’ll have a crippling sense that if they ever left you’d be helpless. They have all the power because it’s a win-lose scenario. If they leave you lose. If they stay you win.

It’s quite similar to the infatuation phase of a new romance. Think Bella and Edward in the Twilight movie/book series. Your relationship becomes this thing that is more important than everything and anything IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

Signs and symptoms

Oneitis means different things depending on whether you’re feminine or masculine and whether you’re a guy or a girl. I’ll explain this in the prognosis section. With that said, let’s diagnose whether you have the disease and give you an idea of your outlook…

#1 You’re a forlorn poet. It’s hard for me to remember what it was like to be in oneitis because nowadays I see it as so lame. But when I was deep in the disease, like Romeo, I had this urge to capture the unique incomparable beauty of my partner. They were a ray of light and everything they did or didn’t do had a unique significance. I also felt a sense of somberness. [Read: Romantic attraction – How to know when you feel the real thing]

#2 You’re obsessed and unproductive. Everything reminded me of my partner when I had oneitis: foods they enjoyed, words with a syllable the same as their name. I’d find myself daydreaming about being with them. I let go of seizing other important areas of my life—they didn’t seem to matter.

#3 You exclusively listen to love songs. When you’re deep in oneitis you get tunnel-vision, lose your swag, and so no longer understand the language of ‘game.’

You’ve thrown out music that aggressively talks about money, success, and fame. Now you’ve got a whole playlist dedicated to how it feels to be in love. You hum ‘I think about you everyday’ to yourself.

#4 You’re needy. You’re on a drug. When you’re away from your partner you spiral downwards into a low mood. But being in their company is like being on a high. As long as you get your fix you’re good—though you sense it’s unhealthy. Your relationship feels less like enjoying a lovely meal and more like craving a sugar hit. [Read: 13 needy signs you’re too available for your partner]

#5 You’re not sure where you begin and they end. When you’re really bought-in to a person they heavily influence you. You start adopting their way of speaking, thinking, their opinions, interests–the list goes on. It may also seem like a cool thing to do.

#6 Your partner’s always right. You’re unable to think for yourself. So, in an argument or discussion you feel morally inferior and are more likely to bend.

#7 You’re frustrated and weak. I think anyone who knows the source of their personal ‘joy’ depends on something pretty much outside of their control *another person* feels inner frustration. You feel trapped.

#8 You feel powerless. First rule of any relationship: ‘the person who needs the other person least holds the most power in the relationship.’ When you have oneitis, you tend to give most of your power away like free candy. Until you’re a sniveling Mr. Smithers from The Simpsons telling Mr. Burns ‘I love you, arghhh, stop hitting me!’

#9 You’ll do anything #crazy. I once had 70+ missed calls by a girl that had oneitis for me. I was an unwitting asshole back then so I put it down to her being a crazy person. Truth is she was just crazy about us. [Read: 15 instant hacks to the put the crazy away]

#10 #desperate. Not good. Not good at all. Again, we want to be with winners—that’s a healthy way to approach life I think. Having other options, but selecting someone as your best option, is way more flattering than just choosing a partner out of desperation.

#11 You get easily bent out of shape. You need your partner to respond positively to you. Or to give you validation constantly. Your moods depend on how well your relationship is going. How you feel always comes down to how your partner is behaving in some way or another.

Prognosis

In a way, oneitis is a useful phenomenon. It makes you value one person enough to reduce your chances of being wooed by other third parties. This gives the two of you the chance to:

#1 Develop strong bonds that could last a lifetime.

#2 Focus on each other long enough to raise a family.

#3 Mature, so that you act in a way that benefits both you and your partner.

But here’s the WARNING…

Oneitis is probably more dangerous for guys. This is because women generally have far more romantic options than men do. And they’re innately better at being selective. So, they are far less likely to develop oneitis prematurely *unless they’re still in the Twilight Bella and Ed tween years of their life*.

It can still happen. Particularly when a woman seeks a man who is in say the top 10% compared to other men. But even the average woman automatically has several male suitors at any one time. More pickings for the kissing. [Read: Should you settle for less when you can have much more?]

By comparison, the average guy may have very few options. Scaaarce. So for the guy, developing oneitis most likely just makes him seem lame and unattractive. Not recommended!

Last point, feminine women are naturally more concerned with the flow of love. Partly because they have a more limited amount of time to raise children. Therefore, it might be paramount for them to develop oneitis—to select one best option from the many. Perhaps this is more important the more attractive she is.

There are roughly four stages of the disease:

#1 You lose your ‘game.’ Game, swag, sex appeal. Call it what you will. Losing your mojo is super dangerous. The masculine needs to worry about this far more than the feminine does.

For the feminine, they usually get hunted even when they’re married. Either way, it’s important to stay fresh. Think of Romeo and Juliet resorting to fake suicide because they did not have the skill-sets to create new options in their life.

When you feel boxed in, life gets real dark. Stay attractive, smooth, confident, self-assured, masculine/feminine. Keep that blade sharp. Keep that glow about you. [Read: Stop being socially awkward: 13 steps that’ll change you for good]

#2 You become the AFC. Becoming the Average Frustrated Chump in my opinion is a living tragedy. The second stage of losing your game—a near complete loss. It’s a state of quiet desperation, accepted helplessness. Being in oneitis makes you firmly hedge your chips on one person. When you’re not with them you feel torn up. But also you may accept being under-appreciated, under-sexed, or under-desired out of desperation.

If your partner flirts with others or seems dismissive with you and no longer excited to be in the relationship, you feel powerless and weak. Not a good place to be! [Read: How to reassure and win over a super-jealous lover]

#3 You become the unwise fool. Getting played for the fool can’t always be avoided. And it’s true for both men and women. But it’s especially true if you overlook warning signs. Are your friends and family telling you something negative about the person? Are they all saying the same thing? Maybe you just don’t want to hear.

Like the Montague and Capulet family beef in Romeo and Juliet, sometimes others are the ones with the issues. Maybe a friend is simply jealous of your relationship. But often, your single desire for one person blinds you to the realities of how that person behaves.

You also play yourself. Just think of the teacher-student affairs you read about in papers. Or huge divorce settlements after wild sudden romances. When you only see the positives in someone, it can be dangerous because you’re taking a gamble. This can lead to a broken heart, bitterness, and time-wasted. [Read: Fool me once shame on you – Don’t get fooled again]

#4 You never settle down. This one is dangerous for both men and women and particularly for women. In some ways, it’s the worst outcome. If you have this fantasy of the perfect one person you may never come across someone who measures up. You have unrealistic expectations of what it means to be in a relationship. You ignore the work and compromise and tolerance necessary for any healthy relationship.

[Read: Obsessive love: 15 ways to tell if it’s real or just unhealthy]

Obsession brings about amazing things. But it’s unhealthy to have unrealistic expectations of any oneitis person. You’re sure to be left disappointed and push partners away.

The post Oneitis: The Unhealthy Effects of Falling Madly in Obsessive Love is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.