#man if you put a timer on when im eating I will beat your ass

[guardians-of-blood]

More incorrect quotes! Hooray! (i will add the title later)

Ray: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE

Tsubasa: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially

Ray, desperately, as Tsubasa bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Tsubasa: Oh! B positive.

Ray: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Tsubasa:

Mars: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Kuno: I think you mean cards.

Mars, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No, I do not.

Pluto: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Mars: Stop romanticizing the past.

Ray: Where are you going?

Tsubasa: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there

Kayda, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Vian: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Kayda, with the tone of someone who is used to Vian: Outstanding.

Kayda: This is what I’m talking about people.

Pyrrhus: Vian was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.

Vian: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.

Pyrrhus: Vian, you ate a chair.

Tsubasa: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Kuno's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

Nina: What's wrong with you?

Celeste: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

Tsubasa, texting Ray: Roses are red, Tony Hawk is a skater…

Ray′s phone, auto-replying: I’m driving right now–I’ll get back to you later.

*Later*

Ray, texting back: Fuck you.

Celeste: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact.

Burnet: ...All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

Celeste: I wish I was a dinosaur.

Valkyrie: Why? Cause they're big and scary?

Celeste: Because they're dead.

Ray: I failed my safety training course today.

Tsubasa: Why, what happened?

Ray: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?"

Tsubasa: And?

Ray: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.

Tsubasa: We all have our demons.

Tsubasa, grabbing Ray: This one’s mine.

"I’ve been sleeping so little the past few nights that when I go to the alarm app, I click on the “power nap” button. I don’t set up alarms, I set up timers, Ray."

- Tsubasa Amanogawa

Tsubasa: I have an idea.

Ray: A good idea?

Tsubasa: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

"You know what’s funny about Ray? He's my best friend, and anyone who’d hurt him is someone I’d murder, probably."

- Tsubasa Amanogawa

Tsubasa: Alright, listen up you little shits.

Tsubasa: Not you Ray. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

Ray: I have no fears.

Kuno: What if one day you woke up and Tsubasa was taller than you?

Ray: I have one fear. 

*on Ellen*

Ellen: So I hear you tweet about wanting to die

Celeste: haha yeah, I do

*Death comes out, creeps up behind her*

Celeste: omg Ellen you didn't 

Kayda: Weird. All my shirts are disappearing.

Noir and Pyrrhus: *wearing Kayda’s shirts for the 5th time in a row* Spooky. 

Celeste: Does anyone have any questions?

Basil: *Stands up* Okay, well I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’ve been going through a lot lately.

Celeste: That’s not a question.

Basil: And I know you’ve often wondered: “Who is Basil, really?”

Noir: Nope, never.

Tsubasa: Until February, I thought your name was Jasper.

Basil: You know, there are times when I look out these windows, and I know you’re all thinking, “What makes the measure of this man?”

Mars: Oh my god, you’d better be dying!

Basil: Look, I’m telling you all, with pride and excitement… and a lot of pride, about the new and improved Basil. Noir, give me a beat!

Noir: Sorry, what?

Basil: When somebody asks for a beat you just, you don't ask a lot of questions. You just get down on it.

Noir: Oh, you want, like, a syncopated thing or, like, a vibey thing?

Basil: Just do it. Hmm? *Basil sings '80s pop rock song about being Bisexual*

*All the Dreamseekers stare at him*

Basil: Oh, come on. You guys aren’t weirded out because I’m bisexual, are you?

Pyrrhus: No, we’re weirded out by the fact that you interrupted the meeting to tell us that.

Celeste: Anyone have questions? Besides Basil, who seems to think that every Dreamseeker meeting is about him for some reason. 

Noir: *Having an existential crisis* Do you know… what it’s like to be afraid of yourself?

Vian, thinking about that time he ate an entire family sized bag of doritos in one evening: God dude I sure do. 

Feliks: Shit, I’m late for school!

Feliks: Oh wait, I’m 20.

Feliks: I’M A TEACHER!!! 

Vian: A spoonful of Nutella counts as lunch, right?

Pyrrhus: Vian, that will kill you.

Vian: I'm only allergic to like four things in it.

Pyrrhus: VIAN!!!!

*somewhere else*

Noir, terrified: What was that?!

Kayda: That was the call of someone who is very pissed and on a mission to fuck someone up.

Basil: So, how’d you convince all of them to betray me? What’d you offer them?

Chalcedony: I asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they instantly said yes.

"bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches"

- Kuno Aurich

"So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress"

- Raymond 'Ray' Seidel

Vian: Yum, thanks!

Kidnapper: *puts more tape over his mouth* I said stop eating it.

Tsubasa: *writing a letter*

Tsubasa: Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...

And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.

Ray: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.

Tsubasa: All I drank was Redbull!

Ray: How many?

Tsubasa: Eighteen

Tsubasa: Hey, are you okay?

Ray: Yeah.

Tsubasa: You don't look okay...

Ray: Then stop looking.

Mars: Fight me!

Pluto, standing behind him and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

Tsubasa: I'm going to fight the next person who insults Ray.

Ray: I hate myself.

Tsubasa: Alright, square up.

Pluto: Know why I called you in here?

Mars: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.

Pluto: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

Pluto: When's the last time you slept?

Mars: Uh... a few days ago, I think.

Pluto: A few- how many?!

Mars: Uh... *starts counting on fingers* I need more fingers...

Pluto: What you need is sleep!

Kuno: When you’re gay in your house with nobody else, you’re homolone

Ray: When you’re bi and there’s nobody else around, you’re biyourself

Basil: Please stop

Feliks: Top 30 reasons Feliks is sorry. Number 5 will surprise you.

Mikael: TOP 30 ANIME DEATHS. NUMBER 1, YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!

Leni: Ray, are you high?

Ray: Am I what?

Leni: High.

Ray: Hi.

Pluto: So what’s for dinner?

Mars, staring at the food he just burnt: Regret.

Pluto: Am I in trouble?

Mars: Take a guess.

Pluto: No?

Mars: Take another guess.

Pluto, standing with his back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Mars.

Mars: How did you do that without turning around?

Pluto: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

Pluto: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.

Mars: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.

Pluto: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

Mars: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Pluto: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Mars: No! Four to five seconds!

Pluto: Too late!!!

Pluto: I was arrested for being too cool.

Mars: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

Pluto: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Mars: Thank you

Pluto: I didn't say that was a good thing

Mars: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

Pluto: Okay, truth or dare?

Mars: Truth

Pluto: How many hours have you slept this week?

Mars:

Mars: ...Dare

Pluto: Go to bed.

Mars: I don’t like this game.

Mars: I’m going to take you out

Pluto: great, it’s a date!

Mars: I meant that as a threat.

Pluto: See you at five!

Mars: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Pluto: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Mars: Absolutely not.

Pluto: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

Mars: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

Pluto: Okay, help me please!

Mars: Got two words for you.

Pluto: I bet they won't be helpful.

Mars: Your problem.

Pluto: I was right

Kuno: Why did you give Luth a knife?

Tsubasa: He felt unsafe.

Kuno: Now I feel unsafe.

Tsubasa: Sorry.

Tsubasa: Want a knife?

[lalast0ne]

The bad penny

Layla

*Sin City was definitely living up to its name. Our first night in Vegas had been one I’d never forget .. what I could remember of it. After leaving the “Art Gallery” which I’ve decided was not a legit gallery at all, we hit the shops then made our way back to the hotel room to get ready. With the key safely deposited in the safe, we headed out for dinner. Tao was amazing, the service, the atmosphere and the food. After dinner we paid well over the odds for a 5 minute ride in a gondola thru the Venetian then made our way to the hotel casino. Judging by the pounding of my head this morning we were in the casino a looooong time.  The last thing I properly remember is Wilder tugging me to the high roller section .. after that it becomes hazy. I look towards the bathroom where the sound of the shower running and singing can be heard which makes me smile as I collapse back into the pillows groaning. The fact he’s in a seemingly good mood must mean he beat the house. Thank God. I look around the enormous room, my eyes landing on the safe. The safe that houses the most expensive key known to man and a flurry of questions rush thru my mind. We didn’t discuss it last night, I refused to taint our first night with talk of business (which is exactly what that was) and Wilder wasn’t forthcoming with the information, so I still remained clueless. I just couldn’t decide if that was a good or bad thing ...*

Wilder

*Vegas was growing on me. I had won big last night. At the tables and with my wife. I knew her mind was working in over drive but sometimes it was best to leave her guessing. All would be revealed in time. I towel dry, got dressed and stepped from the bathroom to find her lazy ass still in bed* Little Ball of Fire, time to get ready for the day. We have Vegas shit to do. I know you have things you would like to see that I ruined yesterday. *Smirking, I check the time.* You have 15 minutes or the party bus is leaving without you. No aquarium though. That’s not Vegas. *I pour a cup of coffee and wait as you scramble from the bed.* Make that 14 minutes.

Layla

*I see the way you look at me and know exactly what you’re waiting for my body isn’t ready to move at a fast pace yet .. I don’t even think it’s ready to move. I roll from the bed, my shoulders dropped slightly and my walk slow as I head to the bathroom* You’re so mean to me .. always putting me on a timer. How are you not feeling like shit this morning? I’m sure you drank just as much as, if not more than, me. *I step into the shower and wince as the water hits me, the cold feels like a thousand needles pricking my skin until it warms up and I relax a little. Even with no intention of rushing, I shower as quickly as possible then emerge feeling a little fresher.* I swear I’m never drinking again .. *I mumble as I pass by your to the closet and roll my eyes when you tap the face of your watch. I don’t waste anytime messing around. I slip into comfortable clothes and a pair of sneakers, tying my still wet hair back out of my face and stand in front of you and shudder as I say what I’m thinking.* Please don’t tell me today’s the day we’re going up the Stratosphere...

Wilder

*I finish the last of my coffee and eye you up and down.* Is that what you are wearing today? You should have switched to ginger ale after the first drink like I did. *I avoid the death glare you are giving me and hold the door open.* Was the Stratosphere not on your list? I’m catering to all things Layla today so smile Little Ball of Fire. You don’t always get me so accommodating so I recommend you take advantage.

Layla

*My eyes narrow at your treachery. If I’d known you’d switched to ginger ale I’d have made my cocktails virgin. I cover my mouth at the thought* What’s wrong with what I’m wearing? *I look down at my t-shirt, shorts and sneakers then back to you* Comfort is the aim of the game today, husband. And while the Stratosphere is on my list, I don’t think the people on the rides, or the good people of Vegas standing below, want to see the contents of my stomach. *I move to where you sit and position myself between your legs, my fingers teasing thru your hair* We can make our way to old Vegas this morning. Go to Fremont Street and check out the Mob museum?

Wilder

I don’t care to see a jail cell if you throw up on people and we need to fight. *I laugh and lift you up, taking long strides to leave our room.* First lets get some food in you to soak up all the alcohol and then find some mobs. Maybe if you are lucky, we can buy that thing you could not stop staring at last night. *The elevator takes us down and I keep a tight grip on your hand.* Don’t take any of those cards people try to hand you. We are not hitting up those places here.

Layla

*I wrap my legs around your waist and bury my face in your neck, humming softly as you walk us to the elevator. My feet hit the floor when the doors open and I pout at the loss of contact until your hand is on my hip and your pulling me close* I don’t think they’re for places to go .. I think they’re for girls *Chuckles* to come to your room .. so don’t you be taking any of those cards Mr *I reach down and pinch your cheek, laughing softly as the doors open* I hear Serendipity do the most amazing pancakes .. let’s head there .. because now I honestly feel like I could eat a horse.

Wilder

I think they cater to all baby girl. No discrimination. *I growl against your ear and head in the direction of pancakes, my hand firmly gripping your ass. Vegas might be growing on me but I will never understand the lengths one city goes through to steal your money and make you lose your entire life. I can do that in a heartbeat back home and feel no guilt. You will be as rich going in the ground as you were above. Life really is simple.* We should take in that volcano show tonight. Feel the heat from that fire. *Smirks as we stop at the restaurant and wait to be seated.*

Layla

If you want heat .. I can got you hot under the collar, baby *I smirk across to you as we stand and wait (im)patiently to be seated. I grab my stomach as it grumbles and thank the Lord, 10 minutes later, when we’re finally shown to a table for two on the terrace. Before the waitress can even ask if we know what we like, we’re reeling off our order and handing back the menus she’s just given us. I cross my arms and lean forward slightly, grinning at you as I admire the sight of Caesar’s Palace behind you* So what are your thoughts of Vegas so far, husband? Are you enjoying it?

Wilder

*My eyes cut in every direction since our chairs are out in the open on the terrace and I can’t see who is approaching from behind, landing back on yours. I reach up and flick your nose playfully.* It’s loud, dirty, has this smell you can’t wash off, everything is way too big. I think I would need need to see the seedy side before I can give you my honest opinion. It might be ok. *I lean back as the waitress brings our drinks, nodding my hand in thanks.* What is your opinion of all this sin?

Layla

*I laugh when you give me your opinion, not at all surprised, then smile at the waitress when she places our drinks on the table. I load my coffee wit way too much sugar and take a satisfying sip, smiling with I feel the caffeine taking immediate effect* This world of sin ... I love it. I couldn’t live here but for a trip, I’d happily return a couple of times a year. Whether Vegas would let us return .. well that remains to be seen *i smirk at you over the top of my cup*

Wilder

*My head falls back, booming laughter filling the terrace.* Mrs. Steele, I don’t know why you assume I will get us kicked out this city or even state. I have been on my best behavior. *I lower my voice.* I have not felt the need to pull my knife even once. I would say that is a record but the day is still young. I make no promises.

Layla

*I laugh and shake my head at your declaration* we’ve not been here 48 hours yet, there’s plenty of time for us to get thrown out. *I lean in and whisper back to you* Please try to keep your knife in your boot *I sit back when the waitress approaches with our food and thank her as she places the hugest plate of pancakes down in front of me, then look back to you* for a little longer, at least.

Wilder

You have my promise Fire. No knife will come out of my boot while we are here. *Stabs a huge bite of pancakes and shoves it in my mouth, not promising about the knife in the back of my pants.* I’m being accommodating remember. *My eye catches a profile that seems familiar as I continue to eat.*

Layla

So accommodating that you’ll even agree to come to the aquarium *I smirk taking a mouthful of pancake, nodding my head* Such a good husband. *My smile falters when I lose you for a moment, your eyes widening slightly when you clearly see something. I turn my head in the same direction and search the crowd to see what you’ve spotted and then I do.* What the hell ...  *My head spins back and my mouth goes dry, the pancake suddenly feeling like I’m chewing cardboard* Is that ..?

Wilder

Carlos. All the way out here. *My fork drops to my plate and I push back from my chair. I stand to my full height and make my way across to the terrace and his table. He gives me his eat shit grin as I stare him down. My jaw clenched and I crack my knuckles to form a fist.* You are always one step behind Carlos. I already have what you are looking for. You can scurry back into your hole with your tail between your legs.

Layla

*I follow behind you and grab your hand, aware of eyes on us and not just Carlos’s* Wilder ... maybe we should take this somewhere a little less ..

“Well, what a pleasant surprise this is” He waves his hand away dismissively as I try to pull you away “Now now Mrs. Steele, there’s no need for that. We’re all friends here, Won’t you both join me? We can discuss ... business.” He smirks as he sips his coffee.

*I scowl, and it’s not a playful one, at the man who has just ruined this entire trip.* No, thank you. We have our own table that we should be getting back to. *I tug on your hand again a little more forcefully*  Wilder ..

Wilder

You are a fucking asshole. *My words not loud enough for anyone else to hear.* I’ve played nice but not anymore. I will run you from this town and mine. *I take Layla’s hand and we head back to our table, sitting down. I slice through my pancake like I would the skin on his body and shovel another bite in my mouth. Trying to ignore the annoyance of his appearance.* Let’s forget about him Layla.

Layla

*i don’t look back when you take my hand and pull me away. Your words make me smile though when I take my seat and watch you* I don’t think I’m the one who needs to forget about him *I sit forward and lower my voice* but why the he’ll is he here? Now? The same time we’re here. That’s not a coincidence is it. *Its not a question, it’s a statement.*

Wilder

It’s Carlos. He is a thorn in my side. *I snag a piece of bacon from your plate, a smirk growing across my face.* Plus I got what he came here for. The key.....