#man. maannnn

[marc--chilton]

people who watched house md and bojack horseman can compare the two titular characters easily on first glance, but real mentally ill people who WATCHED both shows have to deal with the knowledge that no matter what a casual watcher might say, bojack is undoubtedly so much worse than house

[hvacutie]

Hector (HVAC) Hand-Related Headcanons

Soo I have a Lot of thoughts about his hands, since they are pretty much the majority of what we see of him (so far in the demo, unless you utterly reject him)

first is that they're very manicured and smooth- since it's the only part of himself he dares to show, he's very careful about maintaining them. if you were to take one, though, you might notice it's a little dry. (though don't worry, if you hold it for long enough it'll start sweating.)

that leads me into my next point- when it comes to his daily duties and whatever maintenance he needs to do (assuming he does any lol, writing before full release) his hands are steady as a surgeon's-- they work deftly and precisely to perform whatever task he requires. the moment he's near you, though, they can't help but shake a little, especially the first few (...or several) times you talk to him.

he emotes with his hands! big gesturer, that's what i get from his sprites. (ik it's just for the artist to show emotion without facial expressions but shhh imagination time) his hand movements get more animated the more passionately he speaks about something, and he fidgets with his fingers when stressed. (Before he was ready to meet you, his nails were bitten to the quick from anxiety.)

When getting to know him, the first times he touches you are light as a feather, like he's handling something extremely fragile and rare. He'll need some assurance and encouragement from you that you won't crumble under the slightest pressure, but from then on, his hands are gentle yet firm when they land on you.

With time and built confidence, he would be a mind-blowing massage therapist. All he wants is to give you pleasure, after all, and if his hands can provide that then how can he possibly refuse? (These skills prove useful in other ways as well. wink)

He's just as attentive to you with his hands as he is with the air he sends out, watching the way your body reacts to his ministrations and moving accordingly. By the time he's finished taking care of you you're a puddle half-asleep on your bed, and he's practically glowing with pride.

[boxylocks]

[CLAWS OF GIRATINA]

The user asks Giratina for help if granted they summon the Claws of Giratina, a set of six claws that allows the user to attack in quick succession.

[toestalucia]

(guy whos easy to please) i have forgiven cygames for everything

[coffee-without-anesthetics]

casually puts the king of despair and haou in the same room just to see what happens

[mcondance]

maannnn i love a good/shy girl and bad boy trope but that could just be my corruption kink talking…like you can’t tell me fontaine wouldn’t be absolutely obsessed

fontaine would be absolutely obsessed.

he first spots you hanging around with yo-yo, this after they all moved down to memphis, and he’s hooked. you heard about what they did back in the glen and though you’re amazed, you’re also kinda scared cause. . this nigga used to be a drug dealer and he still got them aggressive nigga tendencies 😭😭

so one day bout a week or two after he sees you he tells yo-yo and charles that he wanna get to know you. yo-yo’s face immediately scrunches up.

“her? nah, taine.”

“what you mean nah?”

“she kinda. . you kinda rough around the edges, nigga. you might scare her. she come from a good family. ion want her involved in our shit.” yo-yo laughs, shrugging fontaine’s interest in you off. she thinks her words will turn fontaine off.

but charles smiles from across the room at fontaine as yo-yo goes back to studying, cause slick knows fontaine ain’t giving up.

and he doesn’t. yo-yo should have known better than to invite you over and then not be there when you get to the house. when charles sees you outside he disappears into his room, tells fontaine “taine! that girl you was presssin’ yo-yo bout out there!”

fontaine immediately sets his blunt down and checks his face in the mirror, fixes his chain so it hangs just right and makes his way to the living room to open the door and welcome you in.

“yo-yo ain’ here right now,” he calls over his shoulder, and you peep the gold grills sittin' pretty between his even prettier lips. he plops down on the couch, spreads his legs in a way that has you wondering just when yo-yo was gon tell you about her fine ass friend.

“that’s fine. i’ll jus’ wait out here.”

“aight. you smoke?”

“yeah.”

“stay right here.”

you watch him walk away, watch his thighs in his lil hoochie daddy shorts, watch his walk that draws you in just a little more than already are, watch him gaze back at you one more time before he disappears into his room, something you definitely did not hallucinate.

tearing your eyes away from the space that he occupied before he made his way into his room, you sink back into the couch and take a breath. you cannot be doing this shit. that’s yo-yo’s homeboy. her fine ass, pretty ass homeboy, who offered you a blunt within 30 seconds of knowing you, who’s dick is definitely big, who yo-yo will just have to understand that you want, who’s coming back out of his room with the blunt and handing it to you to puff first.

fontaine sits closer this time, and chills settle all over your body. even with the weed spreading through you, you’re still a little nervous. shy, even, cause you can feel his eyes roaming your body, glued to the exposed skin of your thighs and the gloss on your lips, your hair and your bracelets— you can feel his eyes on you.

“how long you known yo-yo?” fontaine speaks first, passing you the blunt back.

“‘bout a week after y’all came down here. we met a’work.”

“mhm. you seen what we did?”

“yeah. shit was cool as fuck. y’all doin’ that here?”

“maybe. we think we found som’thin like back in the glen. we’on’t know yet.”

“yo-yo told me how y’all saved her, she said you was ready to fuck them up when she got snatched.” you laugh, eyes damn-near big red hearts as you gaze with heavy eyes at fontaine.

“i was. i care ‘bout her,” he shrugs, handing the blunt back to you.

“‘s sweet.” your tongue is heavy now, and fontaine’s a little close, and you know you shouldn’t want to kiss a man like fontaine but you really do want to.

shit.

the blunt’s halfway between your hand and fontaine’s when yo-yo busts through the door yelling “fontaine, nigga i swear to god you better not be in here tryna seduce my girl.” her eyes settle on you, and fontaine, and the blunt, and the smoke in the air and— “goddamnit motherfucker, i told you leave her alone.”

“ian doin’ shit yo-yo. jus’ talking.” he smiles snarkily, golds sparkling, cause everybody in the damn house knows he’s not just talking.

“she right fontaine,” you speak up, though in the front of your mind you wanna give him a chance. but he’s. . different. and you’re nervous. you don’t know if you can fit in with him.

fontaine’s silent. two sets of eyes fall on him.

“‘s whatever.” fontaine gets up, says goodbye and then he’s disappearing into his room.

“you knew fontaine wanted me?”

“yeah. but, you know, that’s fontaine. and you’re you. ion know if you can keep up with him.”

you leave it at that. it’s whatever.

xxx

. . well, it’s not whatever. cause why the fuck is fontaine’s mint green pontiac pulling up beside you on your walk home from work.

“what a gentleman,” you joke.

“had to make up for stormin’ off las’ week. i got you some shit.”

“you’on have to make nothin’ up. yo-yo right. we different.”

“and what that mean? that we can’t get to know each other?”

“gon’ on fontaine. you know what yo-yo said.”

“fuck what yo-yo said.”

you’re silent. thinking. contemplating. do you really wanna fuck with this nigga? you don’t know.

“whatever.” you scoff, though you don’t speed up and you don’t want him to drive off.

“jus’ lemme take you home.” you raise your eyebrows and tilt your head at the implications of his words. “your home.” he clarifies, and all it takes is a sigh and a “home. and that’s it.” from you and he’s hopping out of his car opening the door for you.

the ride to your house is fun. between fontaine’s goated ass playlist and the not-so-small talk y’all make, it’s a dream. fontaine’s not that bad at all. he’s a big-ass softie, but he will fuck someone up if they fuck with something he love.

and you’re not that shy when you’re comfortable, not all nervous when you don’t feel you have a reason to be.

when fontaine drops you off at your house, the air in his car hangs heavy with the unanswered question.

“lemme think about it ‘taine.” you speak before he does.

“okay. i think you cool for real. hope you gimme a chance.” he grabs the bag of snacks he bought you and hops out of the car and walks around the front, opens the door for you and walks you to your front door.

“thank you for the ride fontaine,” you smile at him. you don’t know why, but you grip his face and lean forward, and he’s meeting you in the middle and shit, you’re kissing him and he’s kissing you and your bags of snacks is on the ground, and fuck what yo-yo says cause goddamn his lips feel good on yours.

you both pull away. it’s quiet.

“imma take that as a yes.”

xxx

“thought you was shy.”

you wish you could hit this nigga in his mouth, but you’re currently between his legs with his dick down your throat, swallowing and gagging and looking up at him with teary eyes, your makeup running down your face.

“you ain’t fuckin’ shy. you nasty.”

you are. you’re nasty when you let him cum down your throat, and you’re nasty when you grind on his face, huffing out breathless laughs at the way he eats you out like he needs your taste to fucking breathe.

“taste so fuckin’ good, got a nigga goin’ crazy.”

you’re nasty when you turn around and prop yourself up on your hands and knees, slurring fontaine’s name while he digs so deep in your guts you see fucking stars.

“tried to hold out on me, give me all that shy shit, but you fuckin’ me like this now. i wan’t even tryna hear allat.”

and you are fucking him, good at that.

“knew from the second i seen yo ass. .” he trails off, too focused on watching where you hold yourself on display for his hungry eyes, on where he disappears into you, on the white ring that appears on his dick every time he pulls out just to sink right back in. you don’t speak, too caught up in how good he feels and how he makes you feel secure enough to take what you want.

and you are nasty. it’s only been a week since he drove you home.

xxx

y’all don’t tell yo-yo nor charles, but when yo-yo gets home and you and fontaine are a draped over each other on the couch and charles just smiles when she asks if anything happened, she knows. ain’t shit she can do, though, but shoot fontaine a death stare, one that tells him not to fuck you up. he nods, and she can tell he’s sincere.

[empanadaenthusiazt]

MY MAN MY MAN MY MAANNNN

whoever thought of making hulk grab wolverine a thing in marvel rivals deserves a raise thatz so cool methinks

alsoooo

i never draw hulk but i had a vision. they should let hulk n wolverine get freaky get kinky n make the bed get squeaky

bro's gonna have to borrow one of xavier's wheelchairs after taking down hulk LMAOOOOOO

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Fandom Observation Funny tags: One Piece Multi-Caracter and Miscellaneous tags

Due to character limits the funny tags post has had to be broken up into multiple parts

This section includes tags involving multiple characters that only made sense in context and miscellaneous tags that I thought were funny. Now, here's your warning. It's extremely long

Multi-character

“I know mihawk is like tumblr sexy man but shanks is daddy” “shanks hes the perfect amount of scummy mihawk is perfect though” “live action Shanks is hotter to me than anime shanks and live action mihawk is a beautiful human but I'm such a sucker for scruffy vs cursive.” “zeff lovers come ON we dont fuck with Marines who stand by while [Marineford spoilers for those who havent read the manga or watched the anime]” “zeff is wonderful but garp’s looks and accent absolutely kill me” “yes i'll fuck an old man(it's garp)(sorry zeff i rly like you but garp's actor's voice is just. well)” “taz. hands down mackenyu you are very pretty but taz’s sanji is pretty and charming and funny and hotheaded and has an accent and” “the live action completly flipped my taste like what you mean I find sanji attractive and more than zoro” “i want Zoro to pin me to the wall and Sanji to be on his knees at my feet two very good boys but i want dif things from them for Smash” “temperature wise it's probably Akainu aesthetically it's king” “I personally simp for Marco but let's face it King is fucking fineeee” “once upon a time I would have boted Ace but I've gotten older and maannnn King is so fine~!” “”cmon are really gonna let the cop beat the line cook?”I….I'd rather not say….🐱 funniest thing tho is that ive called all of these men ugly (lovingly in Law's case) except Wolfwood but that's not who I voted for the one that I voted for I once wrote like 7 tweets in a row calling him ugly too and unlike Law it wasn't lovingly. I meant that shit and I was spittin and I was right and I'm still right” “I mean ace is hot but like croc's demeanor and everything else is just too tempting for my daddy issues LOL” “as a noted marinefucker….. idk honestly. too hard to choose gruff guy smoker? girlfriend shaped tashigi? girlboss hina? mommy doll? gilfs garp and tsuru? handsome boy coby? who knows (we all know. my answer is smoker)” “smoker….ive given up on convincing the rest of you whatever. more hunk daddy for me valid that people are voting robin yamato and shanks zoro ehhhhh law is NOT valid that man has erectile dysfunction nami…. lesbians i will give this one to you also why does hina have so few votes… my girlfriend…..” “i need robin and smoker in ways that are concerning to feminism” “I’m sorry Law and Zoro gotta add to that wonderful smokersweep 👀✌️✨”

“listen buggy was sexy but one look at mihawk my ovaries exploded i suddenly had a fever my body was in a harlequin novel i think i whispered dear god anyway dracule mihawk destroy me sir” “catty gay mihawk imo live action zoro is TOO pretty he looks like an idol zoro should look kind of fucked up like a little TOO beefy weirdly proportioned crooked face SOMETHING anyway catty gay mihawk i love you” “as a noted marinefucker….. idk honestly. too hard to choose gruff guy smoker? girlfriend shaped tashigi? girlboss hina? mommy doll? gilfs garp and tsuru? handsome boy coby? who knows (we all know. my answer is smoker)” “smoker….ive given up on convincing the rest of you whatever. more hunk daddy for me valid that people are voting robin yamato and shanks zoro ehhhhh law is NOT valid that man has erectile dysfunction nami…. lesbians i will give this one to you also why does hina have so few votes… my girlfriend…..” “i need robin and smoker in ways that are concerning to feminism” “I know he had the bigger tits but I am sorry Zoro Robin just does it different also she washes her ass so take that how you will”

“robin because she has beauty and brains and weird woman swag <3 zoro is hot in a stinky homicidal buff gym rat way (affectionate)(my bi ass can't decide lol)” “people are gonna come after me…BUT i think zoro is only hot post timeskip….wano specifically was a gift to everyone but robin? she has been slaying since 1999” “Why would you do this to me specifically?…………..Robin Look I love her She's so smart and gorgeous And she bathes regularly Which is a thing that Zoro does not” “for once I have OPINIONS and yes zoro deserves the win muscly idiot with a heart of gold? oh hell yeah that being said… I do think aces freckles add something” “its honestly a toss up between croc and buggy but with one of them you’re not getting sand up your ass” “i almost voted Smoker but i saw Ace and knew what i had to do sorry Smoker babe but Ace isnt a cop and thats your one flaw </3” “yall really gonna make me pick between ace and zoro??? the inhumanity of it all” “ah… the gender™ i love how izou is a feminine man in contrast w kiku being transgender like yes these are diff concepts as u can see in these siblings yamatos hot as hell tho. need more big titty trans dudes in my life” “love shanks but yamato is just like me fr so im gonna give myself some confidence and vote yamato tboys gotta stick together” “kurehas pure unhinged old young woman energy vs tsuru MOMMY” “ How in the literal hell that is this site is Buggy beating out Rayleigh? And Roger to boot?! I mean, c'mon! It's Buggy!” “exploding everyone right now buggy should at be 0%. im disappointed like fuckin over ROGER? Tragic.”

“How am I supposed to choose when their types of hotness is so different? Shanks is so daddy and Kid is so unhinged maniac that lives next door? They give me different things!” “shanks destroy kid again (I don't hate kid I just think Shanks looked hot while doing what he did)” “GALETTE OVER PRALINE AND AMANDE???? YOU PEOPLE NEED HELP.” “Galette is gorgeous but Amande is my gal shout out to Brulee and Chiffon love them ooh praline's on their too! probably my second favourite after amande” “Black Maria sorry king this was a hard one. but consider: Giant Woman” “look see the thing is right im honour bound to vote drake because thats just who i am as a person yes im ashamed of it but it is the truth objectively though? easily king. maria and ulti have arguments as well here and honestly sasaki is cute but idk anything about him but drake. Drake my sweetie” “bennshanks hotter still……… sorry killer my hot wife” “BENNSHANKS SWEEP LMFAOOOOOOOO kidkiller ily but truly. bennshnanks. just look at em im glad the people on this site still know how to appreciate some good dilfs” “Rayleigh and Koby have special places in my heart… But for the love of all that is holy… What I'd do for SMOKER 🚬 would get me admitted to hospital repeatedly” “WHO submitted this. what the hell. mannnn mannn almost tempted to vote for my 2nd pick (killer) cause i cant decide between beck and smoker if not for the fact that i know killer prob has more votes than both of them beck is gonna be underrepresented here so i'll vote him also im going to RIOT if bepo is not last”

“Kiku obviously but Tashigi is so underrated (can you tell i like women with swords) Shakky would be hotter if she looked like the milf she is. iirc she's like 55 why doesn't her design reflect that? Boa Hancock's sisters are hotter than her imo. Boa Sandersonia my beloved 🥰🥰🥰the hottest woman in OP is Robin but i understand why she isn't in this poll. she'd win too easily” “as much as i would also like reiju to win i cant go against kiku” “dont know anyrhing abt one piece BUT yamato or king wildfire and the rest arent even CLOSE to touching them” “My heart says Shanks, but my dad-joke-brain says either Sabo or Ace” “if the big fight for the win ends up being yamato ace and crocodile irs gonna be The Battle of The Transmascs” “Ben’s got my vote on this one then smoker rayleigh. Marco but I can see the appeal in all” “WGHAT! WHY IS JINBE SO LOW!!!!! CRIMINAL!!!!!!! HES SO HOT!!!! sigh it was tempting between Jinbe and Rayleigh tho twas a difficult choice bc i do indeed wanna fuck that old man but! [donkey kong ☝️.png] BUT. i wanna fuck that fat fishman even more. get w the program ppl” “#KID LOSING TO BUGGY IS NOT SOMETHING IM WILLING TO TOLERATE” “Shanks is my glorious red haired Prince but King just blows away the competition in terms of being beautiful he’s also like 22 feet tall that’s fucking hot and does things to my gay brain” “this poll is very unfair i would bang ALL of them except kid cause i still dgaf about him everyone ELSE though”

“Cowards Give us modern big mom or may saint charlos win” “can you believe 'worst pic of zoro ive evr seen' 'anime woman w big booba' and 'blonde thing' are winning over the meiji eras hottest gilf” “Smoker. IS. DADDY. Koby is just adorable.” “choosing between smoker tashigi and hina is criminal” “I have 3 blorbos in this poll and now I have to choose which is hotter? Physically? It's a pity Aramaki wasn't on the poll, that would have made the choice easier. Smokestack, Volcano Man, or Borsi Baby. I wonder who I'll vote for…” “why is sakazuki higher than kuzan” “m so mad im s o mad every single one of these guys save like marco i guess is hotter to me than zoro imsorry theyre all pretty sexy ngl. but. Man” “that was such a hard and difficult decision my heart beats for Katakuri Lucci and Killer!! king is also delicious 🙈but in the end my heart was loyal to my pasta husbando Killer sorry katchan and lulu…✌️😔” “king and katakuri should tie. with zoro in second. let’s be real if u vote for marco ur actually insane” “this is unfair bc zoro is og hot but king is the pinacle of ''oh no he's hot!'' spongebob meme and rayleigh is old man hot” “'ll keep hoping Kid beats Shanks one day as he should”

“BENN "FINE FUCKING VINTAGE" BECKMAN. I will continue screaming this until people start agreeing with me in these damn polls. Though the young lady that is Dr. Kureha should be a solid second place.” “THIS ONE'S IMPOSSIBLE#LIKE I THOUGHT CORA VS BUGGY WAS HARD#BUT HERE I MIGHT AS WELL EAT MY OWN ORGANS” “liiiiisten I love him to bits but I firmly maintain that Cora is only handsome if you tilt your head sideways and squint he’s a giant horrible combat muppet bell mere is a beautiful dyke mom and that’s final I firmly believed they were friends tho” “I HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN SMOOTHIE AND KIKU?????????????#SHIIIIIIIIT i am gods worst squirrel tho how can i CHOOSE fuuuuuuuuuck i'd let both of them stab me mannnn kinda want smoothie to juice me and serve the juice to stussy like she did w that giraffe sorry. i dont know why i said that. actually i do know. sorry nonetheless but kiku is literally my wife i sweaaaar i fell in love w her during wano………SHIT” “Kiku I adore you but Smoothie oh my god smoothie” “Guys please the joke is right there. I know Yamato is fine but please 🙏 Ace is made of fire I'm begging you” “objectively? Shanks who is the love of my life i would pick anyway? my meow meow? Sanji.” “who the FUCK are voting law and zoro's ugly asses” “In regards to doflamingo and crocodile Okay, hear me out. I think they're hot because I just have a feeling they have a bit of a misogyny streak, and I think I could peg it out of them. Don't worry. I have a plan which involves seastone cuffs. I'm also aware one's like 10 ft tall and the other's like 8'4 I still think I could take them. I also think someone needs to peg the fuckboy out of Shanks, but that's another story and a different issue. Haki is more complicated to deal with”

“The hottest you say? Akainu and Ace… yeah I'm voting them just cuz of this joke” “I was slightly disappointed akainu/ace wasn't submitted I mean clearly they had some interaction and Akainu even penetrated Ace on screen… but it's funny I'll see myself out for using that word 🙈” “WHO THE FUCK SENT IN AKAINU X ACE WHAT THE HEEEELLLLLL its so bad….oh my god theyre all so bad… jesus fuck… i thtought it couldnt get any worse than charlos and trebol….fuck….” “omg one piece polls im gonna say it: roger/figarland would be a genuinely interesting fic lol” “I’m gonna have to go with sanji because usually when I get weird about fictional characters it’s not in a sexual way like my Zoro obsession has nothing to do with me being attracted to him and everything to do with his intense devotion to his captain but sanji is different I saw sanji wear a dress once and now I want him carnally and I’m like mostly asexual so that’s saying a lot” “So evil for making me choose between Ace and Rayleigh btw 😭😭 (sorry Ace)” “zosan nation im rooting for yall divorced dads shanks n mihawk arent winning this one i fear so i gotta cast my vote for yall at least beat geto and gojo theyre just greyscaled zosan”

“how dare you pit giant trans wife against giant trans husband how very dare” “caesar 'babygirl' clown babyyyyy…is losing 😭y'all don't know anything corazon is in the lead tho… okay that's fair” “i think you people have some sort of stockholm syndrome w rosi bc this guy right here i love him with my whole heart right you all know that but let's face it he's ugly as hell i'm so sorry he does NOT compare to my beloved queen monet who is beautiful and gorgujsu and should be winning by the way 5.1% people voting caesar fucking clown who ARE you. what are your revendications. what is wrong with yous” “i knew rosi would win which is fair enough i do like the guy however my bisexual brain has forced me to choose baby 5 my deranged wife i love her” “I'm sorry Buggy gotta go with King the one guy who might have more beuatiful hair than you” “my 3 neurons are fighting eachother like king's got the face mihawk's got the style shanks's got the personality FUUUUUUUCK” “it’s ace but man. luffy in wano… esp in the wano prison” “Folks in the tags saying they both suck. Both are evil but Caesar has babygirl energy while Judge has exactly 0% babygirl energy.” “ceaser clown has been shown to be a pathetic meow meow and I'm living for it judge can kiss my ass” “ace is really hot unfortunately marco is the ugliest mf in one piece so i cannot vote for them”

“the fact that marco and ace have the least votes when they're literally the fire boys” “it's shanks and mihawk and whoever thinks otherwise need to get tested for covid” “drunk dilf and goth dilf for me” “FUCK YOU GUYS NO ACTUALLY SMOTASH MY ALL TIME FAVES FCUK YOU GUYS TGHIS IS SO AWFUL literally messaged my friend the other day “It's insane because smoker is my type in men and tashigi is my type in women. If they weren't so in love i would ask to get between them” i cant BELIEVE THISSSS ur asking me to let go of the smoke daddy and sword mommy? id rather kill myself thanks” “titties vs feral creatures vs old man yaoi vs brainrot” “look. LOOK. ur choosing fucking guy that bathes once a week and a misogynist (sorry sanji i do love you) OVER BENN BECKMAN SEX GOD (CANONICAL) AND SHANKS. A YONKO ARE YOU SERIOUS? fucking WORST POLL RESULTS IVE EVER SEEN the ONLY pair i would vote over bennshanks is kidkiller simply exquisite tits so understandable BUT FUCKING ZOSAN? im done with this bias. fuck you guys” “ok I love zosan and honestly all of these but no one can ever beat Marco/Ace for me cringfail feral greasy twunk w/ daddy issues and his emotional support grumpy old man doomed to die vs doomed to live but they’re making out abt it also Marco being a birb vs Ace raising himself in the jungle feral disaster couple that bite each other in public to show affection like it’s no big thing” “shanks and beckmann I suffer from terminal fuck that old man disease” “you guys have no taste (<- wants to be smothered in Kid's and Killer's enormous tits)”

“ZORO AND SANJIII 💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛they are the most beautiful men ever <3” “cruelest dual poll yet I'm mostly torn between narco-fineapple and drunken smoke signals I love Zoro but I'm not that into Sanji likewise I love Kid but not that into Killer physically Killer is an awesome character but he just doesn't do it for me” “who the fuck is voting hawkins here hes a pretty-ish twink i guess but LOOK AT KILLER his arms are the size of my head (and i hope his arms crush my head)” “Appreciate both, they're both old and tall. O'Tsuru (Wano) is 55 years old and 6'3", while Tsuru (Marine) is 76 years old and 6'8".” “oh no this is so hard i love older women and bellemere is so butch (for op) standards but rosinante is soooo!!!! hes a freak a skinny quiet and deadly clown faces freak with a heart of gold i love him” “#Uaaaaaaaaah VIOLAAAAAAAA#i fucking love her my dancing queen 💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃Vivi is more cute to me than anything… She is pretty but I wouldn't consider her a hot or sexy woman It's just that she'll forever be the cute and cheerful princess I've come to know when i was a kid Reiju was sooooooo hawt but she lacked something I dunno what it is but i feel like in an arc with so many characters she got overshadowed and put aside Aside from that she's in my top 10 hottest girls in all of OP” “objective viola#subjective vivi will always have my heart”

“One thing about Nami and Robin. They're going to have each other's backs 💁🏾‍♂️” "haha. here i come i do like basil hawkins im ngl he is a Would for me but at the end of the day hes just a british twink isnt he now drake. drake on the other hand. this man is SO HOT !!!! (as in i would like 2 make him cry.) anyways he has like the repressed himbo nerd vibe on lock…..he would modern au wear a turtleneck that stretches over his FAT TITS and work as a fuckin like. librarian. astrophysics nerd (i find this very endearing) and old ladies would call him a handsome young man and he would blush from his ears 2 his chest…. so cute…………ugh hes so adorable actually very bad at going undercover. law clocked him immediately and he wont fess up LMFAO im tbh i cant actually put most of the tags i want to on here cause they are nsfw his fuckass sideburns…. so adorable and his backstory. WAHHH. i hate his dad and hes a dinosaur… cmon…. the dck possibilities…..also his dub voice is so hot very masculine very good also he fucking passes out at the barest hint of skin like a victorian man adorable the beast pirates fit also… ough. leather pants do smth 2 my brain thick thighs save lives ! in conclusion vote drake” “Silvers Rayleigh erasure WHY was Sengoku chosen???” “im upset that daifuku is already winning give my boy Peros some love!! WHAT THAT TONGUE DO they're both freaks but Peros is a bigger freak with a COOLER DEVIL FRUIT POWER YEAH I SAID IT who doesn't like candy? what does daifuku got going for him? his head tiny on his big muscly body Perospero's style is fancy LOOK AT THE FLOOF ON HIS HAT it took prozd to take him down which is funny I LOVE THAT FREAKY OLD MAN I COULD MAKE HIM WORSE I COULD BREAK HIM I WILL BREAK HIM GDI FUCK fuckin evil willy wonka child snatcher from chitty chitty bang bang-looking motherfucker i want to destroy him :)” “distressed gay noises*how am i supposed to piiiick yamato's t-boy swag and sick hair versus king's 'hitting all my standards'” “

Miscellaneous

“I need to evaluate each man intimately puts them in a yaoi situation and I am in the cuck chair “One is Daddy and the other is Baby Girl” “Oh you came straight for my soul with that one huh impossible to choose” “can't I just have two traumatized catholic orphans carrying around an oversized weapon as a treat?” “im being attacked!” “incredibly cruel post” “u put 5 of my husbands on here The pained no i let out was crazy ngl” “how am i supposed to choose on this one 😨” “These notes are like a test of patience on whether the average Tumblr user has eyes” “cant answer this is like asking which flavor is better than the other” “thirsting is half the fun” “YOU MADE ME CHOOSE??? HOW DARE YOU” “please do not make me choose this is a hate crime” “FOURSOME cough cough who said that” “Damn choosing between them is harder than my exams…” “oh now THIS is a poll aaaand you’re all wrong again. do better” “op really starting a war with this poll” “ "u put 5 of my husbands on here The pained no i let out was crazy ngl” “there are correct answers here and a lot of y'all are not picking them” “I'm not choosing!!!” “how am i supposed to choose on this one 😨” “I know its about preferences but there IS a correct answer to this one”

“please do not make me choose this is a hate crime” “i feel it needs to be more specific. hotter as in raw sex appeal? as in who'd you fuck in fmk? or the general hotness of all things combined?” “'m judging some of you hard” ““They are both hot and can't compete. Too different kinds of hot. I would prefer to see them both in my bed. For sleep over cuddles. Pretty please? 👉👈🥺” “this is incredibly biphobic where is the threesome option?” “oh no oh no… oh nonononono bisexual panic” “nope sorry can't do this one😭😭” “LMFAOOOOOOOOOO TRUTHFULLY WASNT EXPECTING THAT ONE good for him tho even more eldest daughter coded I think” “why fight like this when they can kiss” “they are in love!!!!! why did it have to be specifically them against each other 😭😭” “this is going like their actual fight in the anime” “Dilf or Brat?” “

some of these flags are the height of a skyscaper and some of them are handkerchiefs” “old men …. (says the lesbian)” “It's nice to think one piece fans will be less unhinged after an exorcism but I'm not sure that will help” “ITS 3:30AM AND I JUST TEXTED MY BROTHER OVER THIS POLL how dare you” “oh TO SEE TWO HOTTIES PITTED AGAINST EACH OTHER a dilemma! a shame! a TOTAL (other words for sad) but of course i voted and then regretted and then kissed them both on their foreheads and said 'you are both equally hot' smooch!!” “both are responsible intimidating adults with a soft spot for kids! how can you choose!!” “battle of the UILFs…..” “i could take em both :)” “I don't see it tbh but y'all live your dreams” “why are most of these guys old men what yall trying to say here” “oh gods These people are all a mess” “so fucking torn . you cant do this to me women when they are womaning” “they’re all so fine tho” “im down bad for one piece men” “Horny today, aren’t we?” “my dad would cry if I showed him this poll I think (He loves most of these characters)” “why would you do this to me like four of my husbands are in this 😭 I can’t decide I’m sorry I can’t 😂I just can’t two of them I’d be a widow” “frick you”

“THEY DON'T PLAY IN THE SAME CATEGORIES AT ALL YOU CAN4T MIX DIFFERENT SUBSPICIEZ LIKE THAT IT4S GONNA FUCK UP YOUR RESULTS” “this is the FIRST one that makes me physically ill holy crap theyre all soooooo (im a lesbian lmao wtf)” “never been so conflicted” “old man fucker website my ass!” “i will happily stand with my fellow 2%” “who are all these beefy identical looking literal clowns these aren’t all the same guy?? and I’m losing it over them all being jacked gimme some twinks anyways uhhh second to last guy? first guy? Idfk” “one piece husband” “this was designed to torture me specifically i s w e a r 😭😭😭😭good job op you chose violence with this one” “😭 crying in hot guysI mean I gotta pick my baby but there are so many really hot guys here it's hard” “not enough dilfs tbh” “Asking me to choose should be a crime 😭” “I'M NOT PLAYING THESE GAMES WITH YOU” “i have a collection of dilfs i swear i dont have daddy issues-”

“tumblr when they lie about being old men fuckers” “How do expect me to pick between the hot dilfs of one piece??? impossible 😩” “don't go here but i have mutuals who do” “so. here's a poll i can't vote in but have at it guys it should be a 9 way tie” “making me choose from so many is a crime and then i fucking misclicked…..” “I'm glad we all have same three brain cells” “i decided to vote for the MOST cursed imo lol i’m so glad it’s cursed bc i saw this and didn’t see that initially and was like OK maybe i need to read more of those defend your blorbo posts bc one piece fans i do not get it” “all the Gender characters in one place” “making the brothers fight … goddamn …” “cursed poll i refuse to vote can i have a no option? please” “I'm abstaining they both suck each as unattractive as the last they can make out with each other tho they deserve it” “reblogging because I want to see people fight” “penis poll activate” “that has to be the most stacked poll so far this is insane nuclear bomb vs nuclear bomb bs nuclear wtf” “Wife or wife 😭 that's evil” “Who cares, let them make out with each other i typed that comment and then was assaulted by a vague memory of submitting this match myself i am brilliant” “

[lokissweater]

POOKIE IF U SAY WE ARE SOULMATES THEN WE AREEE VERY MUCH MARRIED AND HAPPY AND SKIPPING THRU THE FIELDS INTO THE SUNSET TG 😞💞💞💞 honeymoon phase never ends ong w the loml that matches my freak 😻😻😻 BUT BUT DID UR MAN INSPIRE THAT SCENE CUZ GODDAMN LEMME GIVE HIM A THUMBS UP BC i became that old man falling down the stairs outside of his trailer meme (I hope yk what I’m talking abt bc I can’t put it in the ask 😞😞😞😞) damn like where can I get a man like gojo where he’s hella obsessed w me and can’t live without me bc im his like reasoning to live, like if u don’t tweak out when im not w u then no (my future man must be down horrendous for me) 😻😻😻

And omfg IM SO EXCITED TO SEE READER BESTIE AND YUJI 🥹🥹 I love readers bsf and she’s such a girl’s girl, genuinely 😭😭💞💞 I wish I could have someone as supportive as her and truly wants the best for her bestie… (not that my friends aren’t like that, I have the type of friends I don’t usually talk abt boy stuff w 😞) and yuji w her too omg match made in heaven my two babies i love them sm 🥹🫶 and gumi-bear… (ngl id have that as his contact name it’s like gummy bear LMAO) I wonder what his reaction would be to reader in the cheer uniform……. 😳😳😳 like imagine other teams eyeing his precious while she’s js having fun training w her bestie 🤭🤭

anyways ahem… lemme propose to u a freaky deak thought… let’s say like reader is yk taking in her mans saber right right and he has the possessive edge to him to like poke it in the inside of her cheek yk and have like…………… 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️ I need to be exorcised sorry my demons came out 😞💦

ps. WHAT NENDOS DID U BUY MY LOVE OMFOOGMGOGMG… I collect nendos too and I have like 6 atm (I wanna get more so bad but the aftermarket is so ewie)

HAVE A WONDERFUL REST OF UR DAY NICKIPOO MUAH MUAH 😻😻😻💞💞💞

- 🎀

FOOORRRR REEEAALLL WE ARE LITERALLY FROLICKING THROUGH THE FOREST IN SEARCH FOR MUSHROOMS AND SUCH TO BREW AND BOIL A NICE LITTLE STEW WHEN WE GET BACK TO OUR TINY CUTE COTTAGE HOMEEE MAANNNN !!!!!

AND NO HE DID NAWT ! the freak thought came to me as i was writing it 🫦🫦🫦 bc though he did do that to me once it was SOOOO FUCKING LONG AGO THAT I HAD FORGOTTEN UNTIL YOUR LAST ASK HAHAHAH

and i’m not one to ask for it man like it has to come from your body mind and soul that’s the only way i’ll get nasty over it 🫦🫦 so he can STAY being a loser until he does it again i’ll keep yall posted !!! 😻😻😻 AND I DO KNOW WHICH MEME UR TALKING ABOUT I STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD 😭😭

no because you’re absolutely right WHEEEREEE is my gojo in real life where he actually feels like he’s suffocating without me?? that he is so down bad and obsessed that he literally cries when i am not near ??? when he blows up my phone when i don’t answer in over two hours??? perhaps less ??? i need beetlejuice!gojo where he would literally bargain with eternal banishment with no fucks given if it meant the chance to be with me again 😐😐😐 THE REAL WORLD IS LAME !!!

OMG NO LITERALLY I LOOOVEEE READERS BEST FRIEND SHES BEEENN TAKING GOOD CARE OF HER SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL AND GUARDS READER LIKE A LITTLE SISTER 😭😭 !!!! and my baby blue bows i want you to know that you can talk to me about literally WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT IDGAAAFFF !! I WILL BE THIS FRIEND FOR YOU HONEY !!! talking about men especially 2d men is my favorite topic i fear 😻😻

GUMI BEAR IM DEAD THAT IS SO FUCKING CUTE 😭😭😭 THE WAY I WOULD TO it fits so mf good and i just know he’d huff and puff over it but the little shit LIIIKKEEESSSS ITTT so much and would never admit it 😝😝🫶 and i just KNOOOWWW mlb!megumi is squirming in his seat watching her train because 1) she looks so scrumptdiliumptious and wants to slip a hand up that skirt and 2) !!! the football players are being dickheads with no sense of respect and OGGLING at her and her best friends goods, to the point where him and yuji COLLECTIVELY are roasting in a pit of flamboyant anger and bother bc fuck you mean “she has nice tits” 🤣🤣🤣 ??? DEATH !!! TO ALL OF THEM !!!

and also … your freak thought made me go into cardiac arrest. BJ mlb!megumi WILL be coming in the next one no questions asked.

OH MY GOD WHICH ONES DO YOU HAAAVVEEE !!! bye this is embarrassing i got TWO and spent like 120 dollars ….. one was sora from kingdom hearts he was actually EIGHTY FUCKING DOLLARS UM ??? it’s ok because gumi already said he was gonna send the money over 😻💕💕🙏 AND THEN I GOT SIR MEGUMI HIMSEELLFFF AAAUURRR AUR AUR GONNA LAY IT NEXT TO ME WHEN I GO NIGHT NIGHT 🫦🫦🫦

I LOVE YOUUU SO SO SO MUCH MY BABY BLUE BOWS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIIISSSSS 🥹🥹💕💕💕💕 I CANT WAIT UNTIL YOU COME BACK !!!

[brits4gerardway]

BIG MAANNNN OUUUJUUHH LITTLE DIGNITY BIG MAN OUUUuuUUu LITTLE DIGNITY NO OFFENCE BUT YOUUUuU YOU GOT NO INTEGRITY BIG MAAANNN OUUUHUUUUUUU LUHLUHLUHLITTLE DIGNITY

[earlysunshines]

OKAY IDK ABT WHETHER SHE’S FRUITY OR NOT

BUT ABT THE BI GIRLS AND BEING FED UP.

it isn’t even bi girls it’s bi curious girls the ones who are straight or say they are at least and then later be like wait ur cute and then u get all blushy and flustered coz OF COURSE they just have to be hot too coz the universe is out to get us I mean me but idk and then you’re like okay so are you straight or what and they’re like yea I’m straight but some girls are p cute and I wouldn’t mind trying something out with them nothing serious but just experimenting and they give the NONCOMITTAL SHRUG or optional SEDUCTIVE HAIR FLIP and you go nuts and overthink and then bam they get w a musty crusty dusty man w a goatee LIKE. HE THINKS HE HAS A GOATEE BUT IT AIN’T WORKING HE’S JS A GOAT LIKE OPEN YOUR EEYYYYYESSSSS

sorry but… ,’:|

,’:| anon

BYYEE THIS IS SO FUNNY

okay i need to say before i rant i am not biphobic at all 😭😭 i mean as i said before a lot of my friends r bi and i don’t have a problem w bi ppl at all lol its just i happened to have the worst experience with girls who happened to be bi as well😭😭free me

i think this is just commitment issues bc my friend recently came to me talking ab this girl she’s talking to and saying she doesn’t want to keep it going bc😑she has commitment issues like girl… (me too)

NO BUE ITS ALWAYS A MAANNNN i swear. men always win and it aucks bc wel!! im better than a man by default😓😓😓literally girls r just better but im biased and actually one of my male friends is bi and dating tm other friend and she’s also bi and they’re so cute and onfanbfjej that was off topic but i support that man ❤️

[shotmrmiller]

I’m sorry The Hobbit and Thorin and just screamed, “Fuck yes!” so loud my coworker who’s with me today was like, “Oh did they finally kiss?”

I am just known in my job as the fanfic weirdo and okay with that.

Anyway I love The Hobbit! Thorin is fucking great!

OH MAN OH MAANNNN. Thorin held my attention for far too fucking long.

this man?

id fuck him til erebor itself crumbled into dust.

[picklewednesday]

ooohgghhh man. maannnn . are you kitten me

[lolathepeacocklord]

.....📓?

I really wantsta write a long prowlbulk slow burn fic, I have certain scenes thought of in my head but I have such a hard time with fanfics especially with figuring out how to make points connect and meet each other, but oh my goodyness if I got good at it.... If I ever got sooo good at it maannnn...... I would contribute soooo hard to the one singular ao3 page of prowlbulk fanfics you got no idea man tank yewwww for da askkk teehee gigglez, i love interacting witchuuuu <333

[damimami1994]

OOOMMG idk how i missed this fic but it’s so precious 🥹💕

Just the softness and love this man has for his wife gets me in my feels! (In the best way!!!)

Logan building her the reading room too AHHHH MY HEART!! 😭❤️

“Putting it on the east side of the house- so you can watch the sunrise, your favorite time of day.”

HE IS THE SWEETEST!!!!! We don’t need to mention the little mess ups he did with the dining room lol because that makes him Logan after all and he will fix it all LOL

“And him finally showing her the reading room layout I JUST CANT

"This is different." He says. "It's for you."

You looked at him in surprise. "Lo, you don't have to-"

"I know. I want to. You deserve it, love."

I just need this domesticated MAANNNN!! Van you always so amazing girly!! 🩷💐👏🏼

Domestic bliss with Logan 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Hubby

Logan Howlett X Reader

Married life suits him

A/N: Thought of this ask today while I was working on a build project and came up with this!!! Enjoy <3 I want to be married to this man- also any Logan could be imagined, but Origins certainly has hubby vibes doesn't he? :)

Warnings: Married life, a lil short thing about mutants, suggestive ending ;), Logan nesting like crazy

"They're just people, mutants are just people with special abilities. I don't hold that against them! They deserve a normal life as everyone does-"

The talk show host rambled on and on. The usual spiel over mutants and their place in the world. Men in suits talking about the rights of people again; as if they were God and had any choice in what a man did and didn't deserve.

Logan wasn't really listening to it though. Background noise that he tuned out for the most part. He just liked having the old radio playing, kept him from drifting too far into his mind.

Occasionally it would start to static, losing it's connection and he'd reach over and bang on it- mess with the antenna. You've offered a hundred times to buy him a brand new radio, but he's insisted that this was perfectly fine. Why waste the money?

The smell of cigars and cut lumber filled the space- his workshop. Inside what was actually a barn at one point, but no animals to keep in it yet. You want goats and chickens- he plans to surprise you with a few baby chicks around late spring- once he gets a chicken coop built.

He puffed on his cigar a few times, before blowing smoke up into the air, while he examined the drafts he's been working on all morning. Dusty and smudged from multiple times he's had to erase and redraw lines he's messed up. He ashed the cigar on a glass tray, sticking it back between his teeth as he creased his brows in focus- reading his notes, observing his sketches- picking at details he forgot or needs to change.

He's building you a reading room. You don't know that yet. A nice cozy room, with lots of windows for sunlight, and walls with built-in shelves for all your books and knick-knacks you could never find space for. Putting it on the east side of the house- so you can watch the sunrise, your favorite time of day.

Least he could do, after spending the last few weeks building the dining room and driving you crazy with all the dust and bare walls and tools scattered over the floor- alongside some other messes.

He picked up the sound of your footsteps crunching against the gravel outside. Lifting his pencil, he added a few more notes to his drafts as he waited for you to try to sneak up on him- as you always do. Trying- and failing to surprise him, a little game you had with him for years.

You were being awfully quiet. Though the sound of your heartbeat always gives you away. He was always listening to it, a sound that brings deep comfort to him- no matter how far you were.

Once he discerned how close you were, he removed the cigar from his lips, setting it onto the tray and turning to look at you with a quirked brow.

You immediately froze at his stare, a plate full of food in your hand. Your shoulders became hunched and you pout.

"You can't pretend at least once to be surprised by me?"

"Even if you know better?" He asks.

You rolled your eyes, stepping closer and proudly presenting the plate of food that you've been cooking all afternoon for him.

"Lunch."

"Mm." He observes the plate, taking it from your hands and setting it atop his drafts- concealing it from your eyes. His hand went around your waist and pulled you close. "Looks good." He hums, eyes trailing up and down your figure- and you knew he wasn't talking about the chicken salad you made.

You giggled, leaning forward to peck his cheek, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"Working hard?"

"Me? Nah. "

"Mm." You smiled, before glancing over at the papers, not paying any particular mind to them. "Don't be out here too long, okay? I miss you."

"Promise." He looks up, and gives you a sweet smile, and leans forward to give you a peck on the lips.

You began to walk away, but he caught your hand and pulled you back to him, pulling you into his lap with ease, eliciting giggles from you as your arms wrapped around his neck. "What was that?"

"Take a look." He reached over to the workbench and moved his lunch out of the way, giving you a proper view of that smudgy construction drafts. You leaned forward, his hands holding you securely in his lap while you examined the drawings and notes.

"Is this..."

"Yeah."

You looked at him, a knowing smile on your face. "I thought you said you were done building for a bit- especially after the incidents with the dining room."

He dropped the circular saw while it was running. Created a big gash in your new flooring- he hasn't fix that yet. Then he accidentally knocked over a can of paint that spread out and leaked into the carpet in the other room- replacing the carpet is on his list. Accidentally broke a window, just have cardboard taped over the panel for now.

He was handy, but he was not agile.

"This is different." He says. "It's for you."

You looked at him in surprise. "Lo, you don't have to-"

"I know. I want to. You deserve it, love."

You bit your lip as you felt heat blooming in your cheeks.

This man always finds a way to make you flustered.

Looking back at the plans again, your fingers fiddled with the collar of his flannel. "Well... If it's going to be outside for the most part, I guess I can't complain."

"I'm sure you'll find something." He teased.

You gasp, hitting his chest playfully, but he caught your hand and pulled you closer so he could kiss you. You both start laughing, mirth escaping you as you kiss.

His hands pulled you closer into his lap, and your pecking kisses melted into something messy and deep. His hand that rested on your thigh traced up your body, down your arm, and over your hand that was pressed to his chest, where he felt the ring he's given you not long ago, resting where it rightfully belonged; his own ring brushing over it.

"Mm." You hum as you parted from him with a soft smooch. "Why don't you take a break from this, spend some time with me?"

"Sounds perfect." He hums, his arms scooped you up from his lap as he hopped down from the chair, carrying you out of the barn, to your country home that you share with Logan.

The radio host droned on in the now empty barn.

"These....people, mutants, they have feelings! They- They hurt, they go through a lot of pain. They love too! They have family, friends, people they care about. So what if they can do special tricks that some of us can't?" The host carried on, "They have a right to live their lives, and to live it happily."

[grossillygirl]

about time is one of my favourite movies and i just realised that my next rewatch is going to be absolutely soul crushing since my dad died. oh no oh man oh no oh maannnn