#march zebruh

[ohimesama01]

GUESS WHAT MONTH IS IT!!!

[roll-a-troll]

Your name is Prozac Zebruh, Miss. You use they/them pronouns, and your blood runs Olive; Lenius is your sign. You're a Witch, for reasons not yet obvious. You are 8 sweeps old, and you've an interest in barbershop music, and dabble in troll marching band- At least, when the mood allows. You were brought up by your well-meaning lusus, murre auntie, and you have never heard of your ancestor, The Goodwill. If forced to describe your sexuality, you would say queer, and leave it at that.. You like to think you're pretty good at chain.. You use the handle cherubCollector on instaharm. When you type, you make heavy use of slang and use 3 whenever E might be used instead, out of unconscious habit. via roll-a-troll https://ift.tt/8J6pDse, do as you please

[lavendini]

Bad pic but

Is it March yet?

[krmt-art]

this wasn’t late when i posted it to amino and i decided y’all should not be spared

[marvusxolotocircus]

Troll Call Marching Band AU

Who Is This: Cymbals because they’re loud and scare unsuspecting people. “Stop giving me these papers the restroom already provides toilet paper.....Wtf is drill card?”

Marshi Houtek: Clarinet because apparently she enjoys “I didn’t choose the _____ life. The _____ life choose me.” meme

Azdaja Knelax: Snare Drum because he looks like he is part of the matrix and looks like a fun time but isn’t annoying or loud

Konyyl Okimaw: Bass Drum because the instrument is big and she gets to stick with Azdaja in the percussion section

Chixie Roximr: Cornet because she blocks all none praise like a trumpet but she sadly doesn’t have the boldness or excitement as a trumpet. So she settled for cornet.

Zebruh Codakk: Tenor Sax because he already in your DMs and is trying to add some class to his image (but sadly he is failing and is just looking like a creep) “Careless Whisper? Maybe.”

Wanshi Adyata: Flute because she knows it. all of it.

Bronya Ursama: French Horn because she finds time be a president of a club and loves the buddy systems

Fozzer Velyes: Oboe because he always cleaning up after others

Stelsa Sezyat: French Horn because she wears a fanny pack and actually bothers to question what people say. It’s band and most learn not to bother to ask questions but not this girl. She’ll even question the low brass.

Ardata Carmia: Piccolo because she looks like she is scheming something. She IS always scheming something. Probably scheming the death of everyone’s ear drums.

Marvus Xoloto: Euphonium/Baritone because he is part of the low brass (usually grouped in with the tubas not trombones) but nobody outside of band knows what the fuck he is playing and he loves that. Somehow became Drum Major and nobody has clue how (except Wanshi) Conducts a beat behind when the the Directors aren’t looking to fuck everyone up. Seriously how is he the Drum Major? “So here is the top euphonium player’s in the district name, address, family information, history, and romance interests. Go kill him for me so I can get first chair this year. Where I got all this information? I went on his instagram for like ten minutes on the bus ride here.”

Cirava Hermod: Alto Sax because they shouldn’t be alive because of something but they don’t care. (They’re that saxophone that probably is on something) They be chillin. “Careless Whisper? Sure dude.”

Tagora Gorjek: Trumpet because He. Won’t. Shut. Up.

Vikara Ratite: Trombone. You better believe he is that trombone player that always sends their slide flying.

Boldir Lamati: Tuba during concert season but moves to cymbals for marching because she can’t lift a sousaphone. Tuba because she is always plotting to take down the government with conspiracies.

Cymbals because they were the easiest for her to learn quickly for marching band. “For my spring break I’m taking down the government from the inside. They won’t know what hit them.”

Elward: Tenor Drums. Bang x4 (then multiply that by 2 for aesthetic purposes) bitch

Galekh Xigisi: Timpani because he thinks it looks sophisticated

Tirona Kasund: A flute because she is definitely a teacher’s pet.

Lynera Skalbi: French Horn because she is organized and cares to much about academics (the type of person that has to brag about all honors or ap)

Polypa Goezee: Piccolo because excellent relationship advice but she wants something in return. (Flutes will give you relationship advice even if you don’t ask for it)

Tegiri Karbur: Trombone but he like that senior trombone that is tired of everyone shit and already know what’s gonna happen because he already lived through this stupidity many times.

Charun Krojib: Clarinet because they just go with the flow and wears obnoxiously large hats during band practice. “Found this open bag of chips on the bus floor you want some? Yeah they’re barbecue!”

Amishi Erdehn: Glockenspiel because she paid for piano lessons her whole life and thought she could handle this. Can someone tell her that she should get a new piano teacher because nobody knows what she is playing but they know it’s not music

Folykl Darane: Xylophone because she doesn’t want to march. Doesn’t think she needs to shower because she doesn’t march outside and sweat like everyone else

Kuprum Maxlol: Alto Sax because he is overly excited about almost everything. Plays Carless Whisper after every practice (When everyone is dismissed and go to pick up their stuff on the sideline. So everyone can hear it.)

Dieman Xicali: Trombone because the slide reminds him of a oblong meat product.

Skylla Koriga: A cow bell. She has to keep with her theme despite what the directors say. The music piece didn’t even have a cowbell part but don’t worry she made one herself. She hits her cowbell once in measure 3 and precedes to perform a solo square dance for the rest of the show. The band directors and the rest of the band never tell her the correct time and places for the competitions. (Marvus told her the correct time once....fucking disaster)

Nihkee Moolah: Color guard Captain. The other girl that was considered for color guard captain mysteriously lost her hand and now isn’t even part of color guard. Queen of “accidentally” hitting band members with her flag at full force. “I’M THE CAPTAIN, THIS TEAM IS MY CREW, THE FIELD IS THE SHIP, AND MY FLAG IS THE PLANK!”

Chahut Maenad: Color guard for one year but a flag accident landed a poor clarinet player in the hospital. Now she is a sousaphone and her sousaphone case is the most colorful thing you have ever seen. Careful with opening her sousaphone case without permission. Rumor has it when her instrument isn’t in there, a dead body is.

Barzum Soleil: Color guard. Drops her flags a lot during practice but the flag always seems to fall in a way that injures somebody. Her infamous flag drops have been into a meme by the band.

Baizli Soleil: Color guard. Bring a one gallon water jug? Nah. She brings 1 main two gallon water jug and 2 one gallon water jugs for backup. Consistently asking to go to the restroom.

Mallak Adalov: Triangle because he doesn’t want to march and ruin his sweet kicks.

Daraya Jonjet: Electric guitars in marching band? Sure. Why not? We already have a dancing cow bell. She just stands next to the the front ensemble and plays the music and goes home. Water breaks = headphones and rock music.

Zebede Tongva: Snare because the drum is simple and pleasing to him. You hungry? He got your back. Free sample honey sticks for everyone. The band directors are always wondering why the drumstick are sticky.

Tyzias Entykk: Oboe because she probably wants to die. She is the band librarian. In advance she asks everyone how many times will they lose their drill card so she can limit her time at the printer. They are all liars. “Who is this you told me you would only lose it 12 times. This the 34 time you have lost it and how many days of marching band practice have we had so far? 34 days. I will personally tattoo your drill card on you if you lose it again.” Somehow fell asleep in Chahut’s sousaphone’s case once....huge mistake.

[jellydonutdrummajor]

@marvusxolotocircus I did a rather terrible drawing of the three hiveswap troll call trolls you decided to make saxophones in your marching band AU!

[merryvrismas]

I posted 19,293 times in 2022

That's 2,460 more posts than 2021!

359 posts created (2%)

18,934 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@somewhatlargerobot

@masterdreamweaver

@aradiamegido

@zebruh

@meenah

I tagged 7,410 of my posts in 2022

#magic queue ball - 3,300 posts

#video - 786 posts

#gif - 650 posts

#cat - 642 posts

#homestuck - 610 posts

#tiktok - 565 posts

#miya speaks - 357 posts

#animals - 190 posts

#dog - 143 posts

#stories - 122 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#as someone who’s trying to lose weight (i’m 200 lbs/definitely obese btw) this is something i’ve definitely tried really hard to internalize

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

23 notes - Posted March 30, 2022

#4

shinzo abe probably dead what the fuck

23 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

#3

boob <3

33 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

#2

> be library distributing free masks

1,183 notes - Posted October 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

2,096 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

@zebruh replied to your post “On March 22, 1970, at 12:30 P.M., on the eve of his presidential inauguration, John F. Kennedy was assassinated by a lone...”

if we bring jfk back just to shoot him again I think it'd reset the timeline

Frank with some controversial takes here.

…

[homestuckexamination]

Eridan ! Yeah ! I like the fishs, I found their design super creative and cool. Of course, I don’t like eridan himself, because he’s pathetic, but I don’t hate him either, so... let’s see o-o

We’ll see we’ll see. :3

Okay, I admit it. Friendslut sound a lot more like an insult when Eridan says it

SNRK IT REALLY DOES.

It’s a match made in heaven. The two biggest slut on alternia, equally starved for attention and love, meeting each other at the beach. If my avatar had been litteraly anyone else, that wouldn’t have work. But he is the friendslut.

That yearning for attention...

It’s really fun to be the functional one for a change.

Eridan better go underwater, he’s getting BURNT today.

He was giving me ZEBRUH VIBES XD

At least Eridan seems to lean into the Hemospectrum beliefs, Zebruh acknowledges the bad of the system and still uses it to fuck over other people for his benefit-

OH GOD HOWWWW

How can he be so woke about gender one seconde and then immediately be a innommable racist jerk the next instant ? 😂

I’ve never laughed so hard on a road before

That was my favorite part, leaning into the fanon of March Eridan for some actual fun exploration of GNC Eridan- Then getting slapped in the face immediately by the embodiment of “You can’t just assume because his takes are good on one thing, they’re good on every one.” The whiplash is lethal.

I think my reactions to this route can be more accurately described with this meme I just made 

Sorry for the bad quality. I had a better version, but tumblr won’t let me post it :\

safsafasfsa-

We stand for self improvement. You can do it, Eridan ! I believe in you ^^

And in the meantime, you gave me a good laugh

He got a loooong road ahead...

[yourfriendsimf-o]

Matchups you say? Well, I'm a 20 something year old, 5'7", chubby brunette with brown eyes! I like to draw, write, sing and paint!

I'm introverted but I make friends really easily, laid back and flirty but easily flustered too! I usually get very attached to Bastards™ because I see the good in everyone!

I already know the answer but I wanna see what you've got in store! -Modi 💜

(i did not plan for this. i genuinely did not plan for this. for the individuals who i know their f/o’s - i put extra effort into trying not to match them up with the f/o? but honestly? this one fits. i have “I DID NOT PLAN FOR THIS CHARACTER FUCK” written in my notebook?? i did not plan this)

your sign is AQUALO - you are violet-blooded; you are a prospit/heart player

as a violet-blood, you are very personable and are up for most anything. you build your own drum and you create your own beat to march to. as a prospit-player, you carry yourself in an optimistic light. you tend to live in the present and are rather intuitive. your thought processes are everchanging and fluid. as a heart-player, forging your own identity is the most important thing to you; it is your primary focus. you are very self-aware of yourself and how you understand the world around you.

with this, the information you have provided me, and what i know about you personally, i match you with ZEBRUH CODAKK

zebruh is more than willing to let you create your own beat to march to; to forge your own identity in the ways that work best for you. your energy and commitment to yourself eludes him, it makes him curious and it draws him towards you. he’s quite observant of you and if anything, he can learn a bit about creating his own person from you! not only is he willing to let you take the lead, but he’ll follow you wherever you go. he supports, and encourages, you to be the best version of you you can be. 

he’ll be there to remind you that despite everything, you’ve got this. life has been particularly grueling and rough lately; zebruh can help remind you that it’s okay to take a break and rest. you don’t always have to be doing something, you know? it’s alright to set things down when they’re a bit too heavy to hold. 

[toycarousel]

“The Favourite” (Zebruh/Listener Script)

This is the script for my first Zebruh/Listener audio, as commissioned and written by BirdieJess (thank you so much for commissioning me~! I enjoyed creating an audio from your excellent script!)

Warnings: 18+, possessiveness, jealousy/envy, unhealthy relationship dynamics, mild verbal/emotional abuse.

Script beneath the readmore~!

The Favourite:

[SETTING – Zebruh has dragged Listener along with him to a purpleblood party. Somehow he managed a way to nab an invitation and was looking forward to the opportunity to network with some clowns. Unfortunately things had not gone too well for both of them at the party and Zebruh had stormed back home with her.] [Zebruh slams open the door of his hive with an annoyed grunt, storming up the stairs to his respiteblock. The Listener trails after him, asking – slightly exasperated – if he’s okay.]

Zebruh: [Continues to walk up the stairs] I’m fine!

(Listener: Are you sure? You’ve been sulking ever since we left the party-)

Zebruh: I am not sulking! [He sighs, spinning to face the Listener, rubbing his fingers against the bridge of his nose] I just can’t believe how clueless you were!

(Listener: Clueless…?? Zebruh, what are you talking about?)

Zebruh: Ha. Don’t act so innocent. I saw you. It really was generous of me, you know, taking my better-half along with me to a high blood party as my plus one. It was a great networking opportunity for me! Spread some news about lowblood rights, rub shoulders with some clowns, hell, even show you off a bit, but, no; you had to go and ruin everything!

(Listener: [She is starting to get irritated now. He could be so annoying to deal with sometimes. She walked closer, insisting she had no idea what he was talking about.])

Zebruh: [Lifts his head, his voice raising as he gets heated up] You were there! Sitting on the couch with them, their arms around you, talking, laughing; [He speaks through gritted teeth] they liked you!

(Listener: What, can I not make friends?)

Zebruh: “Friends”? Ha! Those purple bloods would crush you in a minute! You can’t trust them! [He laughs condescendingly.] You’re lucky you have me in your red quad,  you know. You can be so naïve.

[Listener is getting tired of listening to this, rolling her eyes and marching up the stairs past him, heading to the respiteblock. She didn’t really want to argue over something as trivial as her talking to trolls at a party he invited her to. Zebruh doesn’t let it go, following her and continuing]

Zebruh: Honestly, sometimes I think you think everyone on this planet is as lovely as me! Ha! I’m the only one who knows how to take care of you, who understands you, who’ll protect you. Without me you’re just a lost fool. Admit it, you need me-

[Listener walks in the respiteblock, slamming the door in his face. Zebruh walks into the door and grunts, rubbing his nose.]

Zebruh: Did you just-?! Hey! Open up!

(Listener: Not until you apologise!)

Zebruh: Apologise?! For what??

(Listener: You basically called me an idiot!)

Zebruh: I didn’t say you were-! [He tries the door handle, hissing in annoyance.] Are you seriously locking me out of my own respiteblock? In my hive? You can’t be serious!

(Listener: Oh, I am! I’ll let you in when you tell me what the real issue is!)

Zebruh: [He hesitates, called out] I told you what the real issue was-! [Silence] …I did!

[She doesn’t say anything else. He rolls his eyes and makes a dramatic sigh,  leaning against the door. He leans in silence for a while, too stubborn to be honest, tapping his fingers against his arm. Eventually, the guilt starts to eat at him and he grumbles, resting his head back and muttering.]

(Listener: What was that?)

Zebruh: I said I was…ugh…jealous. Perhaps. A little. [Sigh] Fuck …a lot. When I was invited I…I was really excited – this is the first time I’ve actually been asked to a purple hiveparty and this was my chance to get in with that crowd! But…I think it was you who they wanted. Just…seeing you the centre of attention like that. Them all clamouring for you, you, you. I…I got so angry at them – at you. I… [He rubs his face. That was a lot, coming from him.]

[Listener quietly unlocks the door with a click, cracking it open. He stands up and turns to face her, starting to speak again]

Zebruh: Alright, look, I’m s- [Listener cups his face and kisses him suddenly. He makes a startled sound, but leans into the soft kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist. When the kiss parts she kisses his chin, thanking him for being honest. He sighs, resting his head in her hair.] …no problem.

[Listener plays with the end of his ponytail, just letting him come down from his temper tantrum. He could be difficult, but she knew him well enough to see where he was coming from. She quietly reminds him he doesn’t need to try so hard.]

Zebruh: [Snorts] Yeah, yeah, easy for the lowblo- I mean, human to say. They all love you. You’re the favourite.

[Listener spouts some cheesy line saying he’s her favourite, which makes him laugh. It was dorky but it’s Zebruh - he’s eating up the attention.]

Zebruh: Now who’s trying too hard? [He kisses her again, sighing against her lips] … but...thanks.

Zebruh:  Welp…tonight was a bust… [He speaks tiredly, rolling his eyes]

[Listener: It doesn’t have to be…]

Zebruh: …Oh? [He picks up on the mood change instantly, holding her tighter.]

[Listener pulls him inside the respiteblock, kicking the door shut behind the two of them. They kiss again, the kiss quickly growing more heated, filled with tongue and teeth, Zebruh pressed back against the wall and holding Listener flush against him. His hands slide up under her clothes, feeling her bare skin; he grins when she shivers.]

Zebruh: Hah, you can be so needy sometimes, can’t you…? [He presses his thigh up between her legs, enjoying how she clings to him] Look at you…we’ve barely even started and you’re already desperate for me. [He laughs softly, pulling her closer] Go on. Tell me. Tell me how much you need me. [He hisses into her ear, punctuating the demand with a nip to her earlobe] Say it.

[The Listener shakily complies. He rubs his thigh up against her crotch, swallowing a groan. He really did love hearing her talk like that.]

Zebruh: Louder. [She repeats herself a bit louder and his breath hitches, dipping his head to kiss her hard again. He breaks the kiss with a low chuckle] Such a good girl… now, c’mon...lay down on the jam pile.

[Listener untangles herself from him to lay down on the pile of pillows. There is a shuffling of fabric as she lifts off her dress and unhooks her bra; Zebruh gawks, grinning and taking off his vest as he walks closer.]

Zebruh: Damn...I didn’t even have to tell you to strip. Just wanna get right down to it, eh? Heh. I can vibe with that.

[He settles down between her legs, leaning over her so he can kiss down her neck and chest. He spends a bit of time at her breasts, licking and kissing over the two soft mounds with an appreciative hum, teasing her nipples. He smirks as she arches her back, shivering at the touch of his lips]

Zebruh: Wow, you humans are so sensitive...it’s so damn hot.

[He gives her a shit-eating grin as he parts her legs, his fingers moving to shift her underwear down and off. He barely holds back an aroused growl when he sees her spread open for him, appreciating the sight for a bit. He presses a few teasing kisses around her entrance, chuckling at the needy sounds she’s making. He licks slowly up her slit before pressing wet, open mouthed kisses to her. He takes his sweet time here, groaning and whispering Listener’s name teasingly between kisses and licks. Eventually she gets too wiggly and he chuckles, sitting up.]

Zebruh: Had enough? [She nods] Good. Beg for me. Tell me what you want.

[There is a pause as Listener hesitates, embarrassed; she then touches his arm, saying she wants Zebruh to fuck her. He groans happily, sitting up and shifting closer, undoing his buckle and zipper so he can yank down his pants.]

Zebruh: “Fuck you”, huh…? Damn. Alright...you think you can handle that?

[Listener pulls him closer into a hard kiss, his bulge suddenly pressed up against her slit. He gasps and melts into the kiss, rutting his hips against her. He parts the kiss with a slight bite to her lip, growling. After checking again that it’s okay, he slides his bulge in to the hilt, letting out a deep groan. He holds onto her hips, adjusting for a few seconds before thrusting deep into her.]

Zebruh: Oh, fuck… [He curses under his breath, pulling her closer as he continues to plunge his bulge into her. There is the sound of skin hitting skin as his hips smack into her’s.] ...God...you like this, don’t you? [His voice gets slightly darker as a possessive undertone overtakes it, grabbing onto her thighs.] You like my bulge, deep inside you? Good…’cause you’re mine, got it? Mine!

[His movements start to become rougher and faster, his breathing getting heavy. He continues to whisper and growl dirty-talk at her ((Feel free to ab-lib here, go wild)), driving home the fact that she is his matesprit - no one else’s. Eventually the words just start spilling out without him realising, and before he knows it he’s confessing.]

Zebruh: Y-you need me. Don’t you forget that. You need me. N-no one loves you like I do, yeah?? Only I can do this to you...make you beg. No one is red for you like I am - nobody. I-I love you...god...I...oh, oh, shit-

[His words trail off as Listener gasps out that she loves him too - his eyes widen and he hesitates at the sudden love confession. He moves forward to bend over her and pull her into a desperate kiss, his blood-pusher pounding.]

Zebruh: S-say that again…! Say you love me!

[Listener repeats herself and he groans, the phrase driving him crazy. With a grunt he pushes up her thighs further, shifting a bit so he can really start fucking her, his breathing getting heavier and sounds getting more desperate at the new angle. He continues the string of dirty talk, fingers digging into her thighs.]

[His breath hitches again, getting close. With a few more deep, hard thrusts his back arches and he finishes with a loud groan, yanking her against him. Listener gasps and cries out for him, clenching tightly around him, making Zebruh moan and continue to weakly thrust inside her as he comes down from his high. After a while of heavy breathing and Zebruh gently rubbing her thighs, he pulls out with a shaky whimper, his bulge returning to its sheath as he flops down beside her.]

[Listener rolls over to face him, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. Zebruh sighs happily and pulls her closer, giving her a gentle squeeze]

Zebruh: Mn… wow...I guess you really did salvage the night.

[Listener: I mean, I’d say you did most of the work there…]

Zebruh: Hm? Oh, true. Perhaps you should be thanking me then.

[Listener rolls her eyes and bats his arm. He laughs, dipping his head to exchange a few slow, soft loving kisses with Listener. He parts the kiss, staying close to her with his tone serious]

Zebruh: Hey… I meant it. When I said I love you.

[Listener: And I love you too.]

[He makes a happy sound, nuzzling into her shoulder and kissing her collarbone]  

-END-

[missfinefeather]

MissFinefeather

Damn, that one reader of mine that thought Eridan never got a chance to develop must have loved this Pesterquest route!30 posts into the session. Only 50 posts can be queue on one particular day. I hope I can reach it in 20 posts!

Wakraya

Ooh mhmm!

MissFinefeather

Welp

Wakraya

THERE WE GO

MissFinefeather

Couldn't let us like him TOO much xDD

Wakraya

It does provide some insight on his character though

His full willingness to rebel against an arbitrary social norm that he thinks is toxic and bad.And yet embraces one that benefits him, despite being just as arbitrary and toxic.

MissFinefeather

So like, Zebruh if he ever learned to self-reflect

Wakraya

X3I really like the gender talk with Eridan though because it really does show that he's

Very capable of caring about a social issue and push for a positive change and actually self-reflect and not be an asshole

And then bam, casteism out the ass.

It shows a proper trajectory of things to work on with him and the potential to actually realize his own hypocrisy for redemption for people who like him?

Also. Eridan in Dress Cute.

MissFinefeather

That headcanon of him in like, a skirt and tube top is kinda canon now

Wakraya

X3 I do love that they took the popular March Eridan thing and the fanon about Eridan wearing makeup

And genuinely incorporated it as part of like...

His actual character, with an actual reflection on his relationship to gender?

While ALSO not using a positive take on Gender to downplay how awfully racist and awful he is.

MissFinefeather

Heh, just like, he just suddenly change the subject and it's the worst one possible xD

Wakraya

The whiplash is most certainly intentional for extra humorous purposes and I really appreciate Griever for that X3

MissFinefeather

Don't tell him MSPAR is a lowblood...

[marsh-room]

So I'm part of the apartmentstuck server and there's a rule that you can't play a character until they have a typing quirk so I'm. Deprived of Dammek content. So I wrote a thing because hey I play Xefros anyway so this *could* be canon (in the APS universe). Anyway here it is bdjdjhfvfnd

Dammek hadn't been expecting anyone to anticipate his arrival. Of course, Xefros certainly would, but he had foolishly trusted him not to tell anyone he even existed.

Dammek marched silently through the halls, looking around at the room numbers and who lived where.

C4. Clover Four.

C5. Fin Five.

C6. Caliborn, apparently an entity with no last name. Dammek noted that.

C7. Xefros Tritoh.

Xefros Tritoh.

So what he heard was true. Not only that most of the chaotic people lived on the third floor, but also that Xefros was in the building. He'd have to talk to him sometime, but right now he was headed to the roof, so he didn't bother with his door.

The roof, where Broderick Strider, someone whose room he discovered on the third floor, allegedly beat up and almost killed multiple people.

The roof, where Rose Lalonde allegedly sought out certain people just to fight them.

The roof, where Eridan Ampora allegedly almost died.

Dammek didn't care about those stories. He was focused on one, and that one only.

The roof, where Xefros Tritoh allegedly fell, and was later pushed off.

He was going to see if these stories were true.

Dammek decided to take the scenic route, going around the building for each floor, simply to figure out who lived where.

Now he had the entire thing memorized.

Finally, once he reached the top of the final stretch of stairs, he saw someone through the open door to the roof.

Xefros.

If he had fallen down twice, though, why would he be up here? Sitting at the edge of the roof, no less?

That's how Dammek knew it was him. Nobody else would be dumb enough to go up there a third time.

He strode over to where Xefros was, gazing down at the town below him. Dammek had been silent, to the point where Xefros didn't even notice he arrived.

"Whatt'cha tthinkin' about?" He asked casually.

Xefros didn't even realize it was him. "my moirail," he said sadly, as if the man himself wasn't right next to him.

Dammek laughed sadly. "Yeah, I gett itt. You worried aboutt tthem?"

"hes been gone for an Xtremely long time," Xefros explained. "i dont know when hes coming back."

Dammek gazed back behind him at the multiple colors of blood behind them.

"Wonder if he gott killed up here," he said grimly. Dammek is a good person.

Xefros looked back to respond, but then he realized who it was, and jumped up. At Dammek's height of 6'3 (5'3 not including horns,) he was definitely shorter than Xefros.

"tetrarch dammek!" Xefros shouted. "where were you oh my god i missed you so much i couldnt calm myself down i got so mad i punched a hole in zebruhs wall-"

"Slow down, chief," Dammek said firmly.

Xefros lowered his head in shame and looked at the ground. "im sorry tetrarch," he mumbled.

Dammek put a hand under his moirail's chin and guided his head up. He felt better until he met Dammek's eyes and felt the sheer rage of his glare.

Dammek wasn't one to blow up when he got mad, which naturally meant he did far more damage than anyone else could.

He spoke quietly, with a well-contained anger that was slowly released over time, in the most painful form possible.

Physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional harm he could cause. What made it worse was that Dammek was unpredictable.

"Zebruh Codakk?" he asked lowly and quietly. Anger bit at his words like flames lick the side of a burning building.

Xefros shook as Dammek's hands rested on his shoulders. He wasn't going to let himself be pushed off the building. Luck would catch up with him eventually, just like Marvus had said.

"yeah," he whimpered. "why...?"

Dammek closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His brows furrowed further. He was terrifying.

"Zebruh Codakk," he repeated. "Tthe one tthatt owned lowblood slaves. Tthe one tthatt fetishized lowbloods, and disguised itt as acttivism."

A quirk of his eyebrow told Xefros that Dammek looked over the edge, like he was contemplating throwing him over.

"dammek, hes-"

"Whatt was tthatt?"

"... tetrarch, hes better than that. hes gotX over all that, and"

"Leave him."

"... what?"

"You heard me. Leave him. You don'tt deserve tthatt."

Xefros paused. Did Dammek actually care if he got hurt for once?

"... deserve what?"

"You don'tt deserve love," Dammek tested. Of course, he didn't mean it, he just wanted to see how the usually passive troll would react.

But that's what made Xefros snap.

He took Dammek by the collar and held him over the edge of the building. He tried not to show fear, but a loud, panicked clicking came from Dammek's throat.

"Xefros, whatt are you-"

"everyone fucking hated you, dammek."

"Wh-"

Xefros loosened his grip, and Dammek yelped.

"i tried my hardest to convince everyone that you were better than they thought. you really arent."

Dammek tried grabbing Xefros' wrist, but he swatted him away.

"ive put up with you for too long. i dont want to deal with you anymore."

"Xefros, I didn'tt-"

And with that, he released his hold on Dammek.

[momestuck]

Let’s read Hiveswap Friendsim... volume 7!

So. Our narrator is like... building something resembling a functional social circle. Something resembling. We’ve made all of 13 friends! That’s a lotta friends!

But we’re not done. Oh no. This one is called “of business, flagrantly illegal” (I should like... actually report the titles lol) and we are going to meet...

Remele is another cerulean girl, with a similar multiple eyeball situation as Vriska/Aranea’s Vision Eightfold. Funny, we’re getting a lot of that colour... it’s almost as if the Homestuck fandom is packed with lesbians obsessed with Vriska. Ha. Ha.

Also Konyyl, olive, cf Nepeta. Buffest troll we’ve seen yet, unless we count Equius.

Both these girls look pretty fighty.

Remele

Remele was written by Cee L. Kyle, who also did Bromya and Zebruh.

We end up in an art gallery. We can spot the obvious ones: Mona Lisa, American Gothic, The Scream. The others... maybe someone who knows more about art can let me know.

There’s a lot of purplebloods here, but before we can leave, Remele shows up.

Is that an accordion in the soundtrack? Also god, good luck your shirt over that horn Remele... guess that’s why she’s got such a wide neck.

Anyway her quirk is that she puts the letter ‘e’ on the end of random words.

We learn a little about the narrator.

Let’s try praising the art... sure enough, flattery works. We get a tour.

Faygo as a high class drink... well played. That fits.

We learn that gore and ‘religious themes’ i.e. clowns are what sells to highblood trolls. The narrator seems to have some knowledge of purplebloods, which is weird because I think we’ve only met them on a non-canon (i.e. non-friendship) branch.

The portrait art is pretty good in this game.

Could this be... Equius? Probably not, tbh. I’m not sure if he’s even been born yet.

She’s about to tell us about her webcomic (omg), but then a reporter (teal text box) shows up. Apparently she’s in a legal suit over her comic being fanwork. We ask how serious it is.

Gorjek... hmm, best not mention whose bathrobe we’re (still?) wearing.

She gets the idea to get us to do an art heist for her.

I am extremely down for an art heist. Fortunately the options agree...

Previously degree of enthusiasm has mattered, but I doubt it will here. All the same, let me click ‘hell fucking yes.’ We get a real choice: steal the keys or bust down the door.

Let’s try the subtle approach first.

...hold on a minute. I am not very confused. I thought the friendship routes are canon. Does this mean that we failed to befriend Polypa? Or that canon is an arbitrary and fake concept and time isn’t real?

The strange part is, previously the narration in this chapter mentioned the mall movie theatre, which was on the other Polypa branch. This might be a “don’t think about it too much” situation, or it might be a sign of timeline shenanigans. I mean, this is a Homestuck game...

This would be a very confusing chapter if we’d not played all the earlier branches a couple of chapters ago!

Luckily, Remele intervenes and saves us from the purpleblood guy! ...wow, that’s pretty gutsy, given how OP purplebloods are.

We get an action scene, in which we stab the guy with a paintbrush.

That’s a cool axe portrait for one scene! Most of the time they don’t bother to depict stuff like weapons.

So surprisingly, this isn’t the death branch, and we agree to do the heist another day. Apparently having a customer die is excellent news...

So we get to be a muse for a second time.

OK, side branches. What if we tell her her art is derivative?

We get called a ‘plebe’ is what. No surprises there.

Now, to the heist. Let’s try breaking the door down.

Remele picks the lock with paintbrush.

I can safely say that is not an experience I’ve ever had.

Inside, we get a new background...

Lasers ahoy. We are short enough to shimmy over to the alarm, and Remele guides us to press the right buttons.

Remele nicks a painting which she says is derivative of her earlier work before she tried to make money from her work, and now wants to rip off in return. But then security shows up!

She bullshits her way past the guard with the power of confidence and privilege, and we leave with the painting. What’s gonna go wrong?

Ah. After all that... we don’t end up Friends(TM).

I kind of like that ending actually. Playing with the established pattern.

And that’s the last ending for Remele. Nice.

Artists, huh.

Konyyl

Konyyl is by Aysha U. Farah as well. We don’t take long to find her...

Unusually, her track has vocals - though no lyrics I can make out. It’s pretty Fantasy.

She demands to know if we’re who she’s waiting for. Apparently she finds it plausible we’re a woman. I guess we really are a AFGNCAAP. Or at least an AFGNAP, since we seem to be something of a nerd and probably from a Western country.

Apparently she’s waiting for someone called countryyladyy453. Well, that typing quirk sounds familiar... what does she want with Skylla?

Skylla shows up. Lady is with her, so we can trust we didn’t go down the branch where Lady got dognapped.

The narration hangs a lampshade on the ambiguity.

I am really enjoying the reappearance of characters from prior episodes!

And indeed it turns out the story this time concerns that prior episode. We’re here to rescue lusii! Lususes?

So I guess Konyyl is some kind of mercenary.

There’s a cute interaction where Konyyl accidentally calls Skylla pretty...

They get in an argument... Skylla calls Konyyl a coward. We get a choice of how to defuse... say we know people, or ask if Konyyl works on spec. Well, no self-respecting professional would take the latter, so let’s draw in some of our other friends. Some of them might be useful...

A great idea! Unfortunately...

Ahaha. Well played.

OK, so let’s try and get her to work on spec. Which in this case means that the bandits probably stole a bunch of other stuff, and she could get paid with loot.

She goes with it.

However, Skylla isn’t coming. Because Konyyl is horny for her she’ll put us at risk.

Despite the narrator’s expectations, we have little trouble tracking down the bandits. New background, hey!

But unfortunately, along with the ship is... an adult troll. Tall, dark grey skin, big old claws.

She mentions someone called Azdaja who’s usually the brains of an operation. From the description, probably a yellowblood. Maybe we’ll meet him later.

We get our real choice: follow the pirate into the warehouse, or board the ship.

Let’s do the ship. I feel like this will lead to us dying in space, but that’ll be fun right?

BIG WORM

Unfortunately, the adult troll is on board the ship. She mind controls us into submission (cerulean) and... we end up in space! Apparently with a shipment of lusii on board. This troll does not seem to be able to fully mind control us, but like Vriska, can only put us to sleep. Konyyl, on the other hand, is fully affected.

The ship is hit by something, and starts to re-enter the atmosphere. We learn the narrator didn’t really want to go to Alternia.

This time, we make it to an escape pod... but Konyyl’s had it with us.

Hey, died in space, just like I said!

Now let’s try the warehouse.

Konyyl marches up to the door. We see some lususnappers chilling in a break room, and suggest a different door.

Konyyl remains unimpressed with us, but we keep going. And blunder right into the break room anyway.

Konyyl massacres them. The narrator starts to feel... less than great at ‘a bunch of kids getting massacred’.

Konyyl, however, is surprisingly gentle with us over this panic attack. The game is, naturally, one step ahead of my commentary...

And, after that... she loots the bodies. “It’s a lot messier and takes way longer than it does in videogames.” We comment a little on her blackrom attraction to Skylla... and she gives us a phone! A phone of our own!

Hooray! Now we can actually stay in touch with our 15 friends!

That was a neat little episode I think. I enjoyed the callbacks... though I’m still confused about which Polypa route was canon.