#math home work help
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
interesting ideas about AI art and by no means am I trying to send hate but I believe majority of people hate AI art is because it's truly just the byproduct of a giant plinko board bouncing through pieces of art made by artists who put love and care and SOUL into their work. A visual product of a math formula. While it's "art" in the most litteral sense, not having a true human behind it putting though and effort into its every detail, for many people (myself included) devalues it from a tradition artists work.
I'm a firm believer in the idea that AI art is inherently unequal to non Ai art, specifically for this reason. (Hope this made sense sorry if it's incoherent)
I agree in that sense there. I personally do not find myself wanting to engage in a work when I purposefully know the creator had used AI to create the entire product. Something something,,,I cannot find myself getting invested in something that is little more than a product. I don't wanna read a fic about my blorbos when it was written by Chat-GPT
I also agree with the idea that a lot of people hate AI art because of this heavily emotional, debatably reactionary mindset that stems from one thing: fairness. It's the same sort of emotion I find one gets if all of the work on a group project gets shafted onto them whilst their fellow peers sit idly by. It feels unfair to sink hours into your craft, spending all this time fighting to develop your skills and flourish as an artist, only to see someone type half a paragraph and have a machine spit back something that looks not half bad. Let's be honest with ourselves here and say that AI art, at least in a visual regard, has progressed quite a bit to the point where most of the mistakes people find can be dismissed as wonky perspective and the line art being a bit fucky, which is something a ton of artists struggle with too
People develop a sort of a superiority complex over it. I can't blame them honestly. A number of times I've felt it too when people tell me they're using Chat-GPT as though it were Google and when I see my family members and friends playing around with AI art. I gotta bite my tongue and choke back a chortle, both because it's kind of a dick move and also because I don't want to relish in this feeling. It's infectious though to feel as though you have an edge over another person just because you abstain from using Chat-GPT or whatever. Not to be all "grrgrgrr you should LOVE Chat-GPT and if you dare to say anything bad then you are EVILL!!" of course though. It's emotions. They're messy, intense, and oftentimes you don't really realize when you're feeling since you get locked into your perspective. Yet, I think it's important to realize a lot of hatred of this generative AI stems from emotions. Reactionary ideals and claims stem from emotions after all
I think ultimately what the conversation about generative AI should revolve around is about the concerns of labour. The several strikes from a while back from VFX artists and scriptwriters come to mind. They are most at stake from generative AI as tools like Chat-GPT are cheaper and more cost-effective than paying an actual employee for their time and effort. I would also mention the environmental issues, but if we were to talk about that we would also have to acknowledge the fact that so, so much water is being used up daily to generate power for servers. Hell, this post alone will probably contribute to drying up some marsh in the greater scheme of things
Anywho yada yada TL;DR: I agree yes but I also think it's important to recognize that a good chunk of your hatred to Chat-GPT stems from feeling cheated and a sense of pride and superiority over others for simply not using it. There is no quality to Chat-GPT that makes it inherently evil. I can't get upset at my grandma for sending me a photo of her and her dog that went through an AI anime filter. I can feel maybe some exhaustion when seeing a fellow classmate using Chat-GPT to write their essay, but ultimately I write my own work for the love of the game. I can get upset however at those in higher power who use it to push artists out of jobs. Chat-GPT is a tool that has its pros and cons and I think it's reductive to just basically sit there and hiss like a vampire when presented with a cross when faced with the mere word "AI", especially when your only big argument for disliking it is based purely in feeling cheated when someone types a prompt into a program and art that would've taken you seven hours to draw gets spit out in about a minute or two
#sp-rambles#Not to mention there's nuance to be had when discussing students and employees using AI to do menial tasks#I'd rather students use something like Wolramalpha or whatever to do their math homework as Chat-GPT is functionally useless#I've seen it straight-up make up proofs and just do shitty math that SEEMS right on the surface but is meaningless when actually applied#And I also would hope that a student would write the damn essay instead of handing it off to Chat-GPT#As essays (in particular crit lit ones) are designed so you show the capacity to analyze and think about ideas presented to you#But ultimately I think Chat-GPT is seen as a release from these things since let's be real it is pretty agonizing to do homework at times#It's a convenient solution that encourages a person not to participate and learn but to hand off their work onto a tool#It provides respite. It saves one from restless nights and staying awake till the morning churning out a barely comprehensive paper#Once more I do not like generative AI. I don't use Chat-GPT#I think it is only important to see the other side. To comprehend why a person may do things and to recognize your own short-comings#For example I've interacted with a number of international students who have said they use Chat-GPT or other generative AI to help study#because English is their second language and they can't afford to sit there in agony trying to understand something in a unfamiliar languag#Not when their families back home are paying 20 grand a semester to help them get a degree and they also need a to work eight hours to live#There's a nuanced discussion to be had here other than generative AI good or bad#Anyways enough rambling I need to get back to mass reblogging sad white boy and yellow cloak man yaoi and watch YouTubers play video games#ask
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
After getting absolutely lost on page one of my text book for two days and wondering how the fuck 9/4 - 1 = 5 I'm going to drop calc and go back to it in a later term. I cannot figure out the math there. Khan academy you're my only hope.
#just cant do ten hours of math home work on top of ten hours of khan and being a homeowner and dealing with workers comp and dogs every week#ill catch up on khan while i have an easy class this term and revisit it in the future#maybe doing physics next term will help me prepare more for calc as well#why the fuck i need all this for an information security degree in beyond me#i know programming uses some math but not that much
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
/showleft anyway it’s all of eyrie’s children !
from L to R: aoife, sver, ol’ver, bijou, bisha and halvi
#ffxiv#I should have a gpose tag#aoife lives in ishgard where she does a lot of work with the astrologians in an academic sense#she also makes frequent trips to idyllshire to visit the gobbies#sver still lives in the forest and was trained as a wood warder. he’s a skilled whm however#and does much of his warder work far to the north#ol’ver does gleaner work but he’s frequently found at home in kugane#he does a lot of work in aetherology and religious studies#he also accompanies eyrie on the occasional adventure#bijou spends most of his time helping out the restoration of doma following the events of stormblood#eyrie visits him often#bisha is eyrie’s co-WoL in their shared universe#halvi did a lot of combat work with the bozjan resistance#but as events have unfolded she now does a lot of restoration work#putting her home back together is going to take a long time#but Aoife is the oldest and she’s like. maybe a 100? I would have to do a lot of math that I don’t wanna do#and Halvi is less than 25 years old as she was born after the incident at the bozjan citadel
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
To all adults out there!!!!! Is there any oddly specific advice you would give to your teenage self? Could be a recipe you like. A cleaning hack. A motto you really like. What is something that made your day a little bit easier or more enjoyable?
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
nothing makes me feel more pathetic than when I’m trying to do a basic as fuck sum in my head and my brain is giving me absolutely nothing
not a single gear moving up there. Brain just clocks out when numbers are involved and trying to force it to figure out even the simplest calculations physically feels excruciating and exhausting
meanwhile my dad and my brother will be looking at me like I’m some alien experiment bc how can I be so stupid that I can’t do this shit in my head?
#I’ve always suspected I’ve got some degree of dyscalculia bc there are other related issues I have in that area#I used to slam my head on the table in primary school in frustration and cry when I couldn’t get my brain to figure things out#my exams and jotter margins were peppered with loads of tiny dot marks from where I would have to physically make a mark to count#and then count up how many marks I’d made to do the multiplication or whatever. Like 6x7 I would do six sets of seven dots and count them#I can’t do it in my head and school made me feel like an absolute moron for it but no-one ever suggested I might have an issue there#I couldn’t memorise times tables beyond like 2 and 5 and 10 consistently. Even 4 wouldn’t stick somehow#and 6 7 and 8 made me cry from how much I struggled with them. I still can’t remember them#I had a maths tutor in high school for my last year and every week he would have to teach me things again bc it wouldn’t stay in my head#My dad would shout at me when I was asking for help at maths homework bc he somehow thought shouting the sum at me would make me Get it#uncle would throw questions at me and my bro to figure out and my brother would get it instantly and I would be sat there struggling#and then the inevitable impatient sound of a disbelieving ‘come on!!’ would follow and I’d feel worse bc im expected to do it and I couldnt#there’s a home video of me trying to figure out the difference between the years 1982 and 1987 and the pause while the gears struggle#ton work out the number before saying it is agonising to listen to bc I am genuinely taking that long to do it
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
the thing about the next month is that it's going to. suck.
#i'm finishing up out of town work and going back home tomorrow#and then saturday we work#and then next week is. whatever.#and the week after we're driving out of town again to our job sunday#and then we're working until friday and then going back home again#and then the week after we're working mon-wed then have thursday off for the 4th of july and then we're working fri-fri#and now my coordinator is like 'good news! i crunched the numbers and you guys don't need more help so i'm pulling ppl from your job'#like okay. i'm glad the math checks out for that. in the real world however where things go wrong this is going to kill us though#in a month where we're already struggling#like. if you have to pull someone you have to pull them. no hard feelings#but don't pretend it's not a bad thing you're doing to us#especially because the job she's pulling from is notoriously difficult and always needs extra time due to problems and filter changes#like. man.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hilariously, rn I am sitting in my (college) classroom before class is supposed to start and telling everyone who steps in: "class is cancelled, teacher's sick."
He is, in fact, sick.
And he did cancel class.
I am just a weirdo sitting in the empty classroom for seemingly no real reason.
#btw i actually have a LOT of reasons for it lmao#for one I'm autistic and like working in quiet spaces#it's a math class and the building's all but empty at this point in time#so I often stay in the room after class to do other things#(sometimes schoolwork but more often writing lol)#otherwise i'm always on the quiet floor of the library lol#i literally NEVER like being “at home” because I can't focus on schoolwork (or even sometimes writing) while im there#anyway yeah#also it's because i need to charge my computer and the more comfortable place to sit doesn't have a plug lol#so im in the classroom to charge my computer lol#also-also I like helping people out and it's kinda funny to me how many people come in not having seen the email our teacher sent#but/so i think it's nice that i'm here to basically keep people from waiting around; wondering why nobody/so few others are here#before eventually checking their email or otherwise finding out class is cancelled lol#the faechild speaks#about the faechild
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Honestly I usually follow the film timeline of LOTR/the Hobbit bc it ends up shaving off those 17 years Gandalf goes to research the Ring/where he and Aragorn hunt for Gollum. I based Créa's main timeline on that bc that's a really long time.
Going back and adjusting for an alternate book timeline is hilarious tho, bc there is are particular lines in The Hobbit that mentions Man settlements in the Wilderland- that they shoot at the Great Eagles for trying to steal their livestock, and that goblins and wargs come down from the MM and raid villages and drag people back to the tunnels, never to be seen again. Créa is an adult by this time, and her timeline of leaving home is before Thorin's Company arrives in Rivendell.
But with the book timeline??? Créa is like. Five years old. baby. baby girl. It still works but the mental image is so funny to me.
#(the story still works regardless its just really funny)#(she's 3 years younger than Aragorn so that's always helpful for my math which i am Bad At)#(someone came to me like "oh so créa is like 100 something years old during LOTR?' and i was like HUH? and i had to clarify lmaooo)#the mental image of créa leaving home at five. scaling the great east road and the misty mountains herself#arriving in rivendell and becoming a ranger at the ripe age of five. truly innovative)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Actually it is SO weird to me to remember that I was an engineering student and that later on I had been pursuing a minor in statistics
I may be a IT & com person in the end, but I do have the foundations of engineering and statistics in my brain too. Wild !
#speculation nation#if i hadnt liked coding so much i probably wouldve still been an engineer.#like my school does a first year engineering track where u learn the basics and then explore different engineering options#so by ur second year u choose your official track and that decides the rest of your schooling.#and id been thinking about computer & electrical engineering. often goes hand in hand.#guys i couldve been an electrical engineer. honestly that wouldve been so cool. wasnt meant to be tho 👍#i took a coding class my 2nd semester. first experience with coding. it was in C. i LOVED it.#and it got me comparing computer engineering and computer science and i decided that i wanted to do computer science#but well the intro course for that fucking sucked. didnt wanna go back to engineering either bc i hated engineering lol#im smart enough but it's fuckin soul sucking man.#eventually tho i found my way to my current home. im a techie :3 and im happy with that.#anyways do i seem like the kind of person who was into engineering and statistics? sometimes it's weird for me to remember.#but i did spent Years assuming id end up as an engineer. my grandpa was one. my dad was studying to be one b4 he dropped out#and my sister is one. just kinda runs in the family i guess. & so i was So Sure that was where i was going.#took. an engineering class in high school and everything. taught me some good foundational skills in modeling#also was the class that let me develop my signature. bc we had a notebook we had to sign the top of every day#so me doing my signature over and over again. i decided to use it as an opportunity to make it My Own. rather than just my name in cursive.#so yeah im a techie that talks good but i do have that math brain. engineering basis. statistics knowledge.#kinda feel like a jack of all trades (master of none) with it all. but see thats a good thing for companies (i hope)#ive got foundational knowledge of many things. and i am Adaptable. they can teach me the in depth shit i need to know themselves.#and i Also have my work experience in management... which i hope will help my case when applying to companies too.#aaaahhh!!! so many things to think about!!! but at the end of the day i am smart & educated and i will be a good asset to any company i join#i just need to convince them of that 😂 but i can probably figure something out. something !!!#i will graduate college and get some kind of IT job that pays decently & work my way up to maybe someday being an IT manager or smth#i can finally start. truly growing up. instead of being stuck in forever college unable to drive myself anywhere.#have my IT job and a car and the ability to do Whatever i want.... god i want it so bad.#im just daydreaming by this point. god im so excited to finally graduate college.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
...i'm starting to wonder if i wasn't actually pretty often failed by the adults in my life as a young kid tbh.
#i'm always doubtful where to put the blame#in a morally neutral causality kind of way to be clear#because like. i dont know. if i was the adult. confronted to the opaque behavior of a child. would i have done better?#but also i can't help but think#why the fuck did they make me skip a grade (last grade of primary on top of that) when i was notorious for never doing my homework#and was incredibly inconsistent across topics#like i sucked at math. like ''needs to count on fingers to do a simple addition or substraction'' sucking at math.#like i never learned any multiplication tables sucking at math#like i never got how to pose divisions and still can't at age 18 because logicomathematics are completely counterintuitive to me#and just. the work was never done to make me Get It. my work or teachers' work who knows. but perhaps skipping a grade wasnt the solution#or like#apparently when i was three years old the pediatrician suspected smth was up with me#either autism directly or ''generally suspicious child'' we're not clear on that#but he told my parents. and everybody said ''we better test that'' and then. nothing. idk.#they filled a parental report of behaviors questionnaire for... adhd i think? autism maybe. and that's it. never fucking heard about it.#god. i just remembered my mom saying proudly they almost never put me in the nursery as a kid.#always either with a parent or family or a nanny.#and perhaps mother. you could have foreseen that a kid with no siblings no pets no kid neighbors no playdates. would end up socially fucked#i remember the teachers scolding late students and showing us that we were supposed to be in bed by 9:30 or something#and internally i was like BUDDY AT 9PM WE'RE HALFWAY THROUGH DINNER#MOM'S BEEN HOME FOR LESS THAN AN HOUR#and shit. i don't know. i was scared of the dark as a child. to the point that even with the compromise#of keeping the door ajar and lights in the hallway (which i had to fucking advocate for btw)#i still slept curled up in the bathroom on a towel sometimes when it got too scary#and i would cry and scream before going to bed. i would beg my mom for sleeping pills from a young age.#i would often find myself in the morning sleeping with my face smushed between the pages of the book i literally fell asleep on#because i read until my eyes gave out#and a couple years later when i got a 3ds i'd play at night and if my dad caught me he'd storm into my room and i'd hide under the comforte#and he'd punch a couple times and whisper-yell at me not to do that and go to sleep#it took until i was about 15yo for me to see a sleep specialist
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
ik my blog is kinda on a hiatus rn but let me update y'all with my life
#today imma have the busiest day#so now it's 11 am and I'm going to the beauty center with my mom#then we're gonna go back home and meet with my dad and sister#and we're gonna go eat sushi#then I'm going back home#then I'm meeting with this girl to help her with chemistry (ik I'm not just funny and brilliant I'm also a maths genius /j)#then I'm going back home again#and then I'm going to my best friend's place to have a horror movie marathon#and in the midst of all this I have to do my homework#plot the works for bylerween#and sew the darts on a skirt I've been working on bc tomorrow I have sewing classes
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hey so that was a great date, yeah, but I don't think it's going to work out. Nono you didn't do anything wrong, and I have indeed had a crush on you since we started high school, it's just... well, I didn't want to bring it up at the time but we kinda got sucked into a portal fantasy midway through. We saved the kingdom over and over, relying on our knowledge of and trust in each other every time, throwing ourselves into the firing line to protect each other and using each others' conviction as a rock. We got married and lived a happy life together until the portal sucked us back mid-battle and you gave up all your memories of our journey in order to save my life right when we ended up back in the coffee shop. Yeah that was when I got a bit weird and went to the bathroom.
Anyway I thought we could push on and make the date work but I have all of these memories of secrets that this you never chose to share, decisions that this you never made, and intimacies that this you never experienced. And it's kind of screwing with the vibe yeah. Also on the date it was really, blatantly clear that you're sixteen whereas I have memories of ruling a fantasy kingdom for thirty years so like... that's a problem all on its own. Anyway this you just feels more like a daughter to me. A daughter with the woman I gave my heart and soul to over and over and received like in return, only to lose her forever on the journey home. On the plus side I can definitely help you with your math homework now.
33K notes
·
View notes
Text
Best school assignment help

OFFERING SCHOOL ASSIGNMENT ASSISTANCE SERVICES AT A FAIR PRICE!!CALL/ WHATSAPP/SMS @+1 (512) 882-4013
#assignment help#assignment services#assignment expert#assignment writing#assignment earth#studentsuccess#essay writing#learning#genz#students#do your homework#home workout#homeworkhelp#do my economics homework#i should be doing homework#university#academics#student#college#school#dailyprompt#dailyprompt-2062#mathematics#algebra 2#algebra 1#math#history#accounting#nursing#social work
1 note
·
View note
Text
regressing because i got triggered and it helped me calm down >>>
having nightmares + having to go to lecture feeling jittery next day <<<
#T-T im so tired#but i cant go home yet#math lecture is only 3 hours so i think i'll be fine#taking the biggest nap after i do homework#pika light vent/ramble#did spend like hour and half talking to one of my best friends!#helped alot ive missed talking to my friends since we started college#regressor college kid core is not a good look but im working through it atleast
0 notes
Text
I made a post the other day that mentioned IEPs. So I wanted to make a post as someone who was worked for the american school system, and explain IEPs versus 504s. I double checked by looking online just to make sure I wasn't spreading misinformation. (Or just the way my severely underfunded county did things, bc they cut corners) And I found this site above that gives a great break down. It offers a pdf with a chart that compares the two. There is a video that explains it as well. There's also video, a podcast, and the transcription available here . That link also has a few links to other resources.
I'm going add a quick summary of the most important details below regarding IEPs vs 504s. I'm also to going to add a link for parents/guardians who either don't speak/have limited English. (Unfortunately the pdf is in English, but you could probably put it through a one of online translators and the gist of what it saying.)
Most important differences between an IEP and a 504:
IEP: Is always written. Includes related services and specially designed instruction.
Generally much more in depth.
Requires any changes made to the IEP are given to parents/guardians in writing before the IEP team meets and makes any changes. You are automatically part of your child's IEP team. You have to right to attend these meetings. They will send a letter, by snail mail, telling you of a time and date they would like to meet. (If your kid has a good teacher, they will call and try to find a date that works for you. If not, you can contact the school and request a different day. Most schools are willing to be accommodating.)
Written consent from parents/guardians is required before evaluation and before the IEP is put into affect. HOWEVER, the student has to fall under one the 13 disability categories.
Typically includes modifications of the what the student is expected to know and learn. (For example, if the student has an intellectual disability, their learning goals will be established by the IEP team.)
This doesn't mean the student will not be presented with general education grade level concepts, just that they will be modified to meet the student's capability.
IEPs have annual goals that are measurable. These goals are made by the IEP team, including parents/guardians. (Aka, there is a lot of progress monitoring.)
Usually teachers will send out a progress report every two weeks. However, most teachers send out less formal methods of progress monitoring weekly or daily. Sometimes it's just a chart in a file folder where the teacher will jot a note of anything that the student was doing well with, or anything the were struggling on. Sometimes it's their complete work for the week sent home, excluding anything the teacher is keeping for records.
An IEP team has to include at least one gen ed teacher, one special education teacher (special education is usually called EC these days) a school psychologist/specialist, a district representative, and the parent/guardian of the student.
An IEP team is required to meet at least once a year, and the student is reevaluated at least once every three years. (Typically they are reevaluated and deemed still in need of an IEP. Though there are cases when students (mostly in high school) have received enough support that they no longer feel the need an IEP)
An IEP is a legal agreement. You have the right to sue the hell out of the school system if they fail to meet it.
504s:
Doesn't include specially designed instruction. Is meant to help student remain in general education.
Doesn't have to be a written document. (Though typically most schools do write documents. Bc otherwise they would not be able to keep track of what students need, bc there are so many).
Usually provides accomadations/assistive technology, but not related services of modifications. (Though sometimes these are also provided, especially if a student fails to qualify for an IEP, but still needs services and/or modifications)
Requires a student have a disability that impacts their education
Much easier to obtain than an IEP bc less requirements
No specific set of rules of who is on the student's plan team. Generally includes the parents/guardians, the student's general education teacher, (in the event the student has multiple teachers, the teacher will probably be their 'homeroom' teacher, and/or the teacher(s) of whatever subject/area your student is struggling in) and someone from administration, such as the principal or assistant/vice principal. Hopefully also someone from EC who has been trained to teach students with exceptional needs.
Parent/guardian consent is needed to evaluate the child, but this consent does not have to be written. (Many schools will still send some sort of consent form, bc the school system believes in documenting everything.)
The school has to tell you of any big changes to the plan, but they do not require your consent before starting them. Generally you'll be sent a letter of those changes in the mail. (If your students team is good at their job, they'll contact you before. Like, the teacher will call and say we are planning on starting x thing on y date, or email you if that's your preferred method of contact.)
504s don't track annual progress or create annual goals. (Though usually teachers will keep their own form of progress monitoring, bc a student with a 504 could be reevaluated and found they meet the criteria of an IEP. For that reason, many schools treat 504s as if they IEPs. Some schools suck though.)
For parents/guardians with limited or no English language known.
Most importantly, if you have a language barrier, your school must provide a competent translator/interpreter. They should NOT expect your child to work as translator for you.
And there is a lot of times where the translator isn't available that teachers will ask a bilingual staff member to translate for them. How you feel about that is up to you. A lot of parents don't mind in my area, bc we are severely understaffed when it comes to translators, and they want a quick response. If it's something you absolutely don't want, be sure to tell the school. You don't have to do so verbally; send a letter in your language stating your wishes. The school will find someone to interpret it. Keep a back-up copy for yourself.
Just as a general rule to all parents/guardians, keep documentation of everything the school sends you. You never know when you may need it.
#education stuff#the american school system#iep vs 504#i worked in EC for nearly a decade#if y'all think you or your kid is being treated unfairly by the us school system. my asks are open. i will help you find resources.#bc i carry a deep seething wrath for this country's school system#i actually went into education thinking i could make a difference#that i would make things better for kids who were like me. the quiet ones with social struggles. the ones who got picked on. the outcasts#but i person is just a cog in the machine and the machine gets mad when you tell students we don't say indians anymore#we say native americans or indigenous people#like even native american is out dated. but my 2nd graders had problems pronouncing the word indigenous#bc they were not able to read it. and instead letting kids get held back to learn the skills they need. we just pass them along#bc heaven forbid a parent complains about something#like obviously parents have the right to their say in their kid's education#but these parents are typically the ones who refuse to have their kid do summer school. or use any of the free tutoring services provided#they have buses that will come to your house and pick up your kid and take them home#they feed the kids breakfast and lunch. it's school food so it's not tasty. but it is free. and the cafeteria can handle any dietary issue#and it really helps students bc the class size is smaller and they get more one on one attention#like tbh even if you refuse to let your kid get held back a grade you should have them attend summer school#just to help them prepare for the next year#and it's not common for a kid to be held back in kindergarten#usually that only happens if there's a serious concern. bc some kids come in reading and able to do simple math#while others come in and don't know to read a book from left to right or how to count past 5#but i am rambling
1 note
·
View note
Text
the house i grew up in was a little bit of a fixer upper. for the first 19 years, my dad just sort of slowly fixed it, but pretty early on in college, he came into a large amount of cash and decided to just do the whole thing at once. so he rented a different house for like, 2 months that was just a block down from us, and then got a bunch of contractors to fix original house ASAP. it was kind of crazy, but it compressed many years of work into like, three months.
the sitting in a new house for three months was actually pretty fun. and i shouldnt really complain at all (staying at home while in college is a sweet deal)
but.
but. my parents are fairly hard of hearing, and their bedroom in the old house was in the furthest possible annex from everyone else. wheras in the rental it was just in the middle of the house. so without going into details, i was extremely aware that my parents were having sex like, eight times a day. my dad had just retired and i guess they were celebrating, which is great i guess, having parents that really like each other is way better than the alternative, but also, it did make me envy their deafness. i kept headphones on for so long that year i got literal ear calluses.
at the same time, the house my buddy from the shoe incident grew up in flooded. turbo flooded. they burst like, two pipes at once and the damage was so severe they had to redo all the flooring and all the drywall. his family actually had homeowners insurance, which is either incredible or suspicious for a family that used the drained pool in their backyard to store rusty scrap metal. so insurance was handling the work, but in the meantime, they were crammed into a very small hotel room space. we did the math on it then, it averaged about 80 square feet a person.
so one day i got home, and i was chilling, and then six rolled around, and apparently six o'clock was sex o'clock because my parents decided to flex their cardio. i grabbed my headphones and prayed that god would do for me what he did for beethoven, but that failed to work, and then seven rolled around and my parents were still at it, which again, very impressive, but was pushing me to swap out judas for mozart in those prayers. there's a definitive point where you stop praying to be deaf and instead pray that god could take you to a nice field and pop you like a gore-balloon.
i was about five minutes away from that point when my friend called me and basically said i have been stuck in a 500 square foot space with 6 people and i didn't have many marbles to start but what few i had are gone. please. if we are friends, if we were ever friends, take me out of here just for a moment.
and i was still pretty mad at him, but i had pity on the poor guy. also helped that i was desperate to leave the house. so i drove the chickenshitmobile to the hotel and i picked him up, and then we did our normal hangout activity, which was go to food city and buy produce. his normal house was, on a good day, nasty, and his backyard was, as i stated before, mostly used to store mosquito larvae and rusty metal, so what we'd always done before was just walk to the grocery store a half block away and leer at vegetables.
so we did that and it was like old times again. they had some radishes that were expired, so i could buy like, literally an entire grocery bag of them for about $5. so i did. i really like radishes. he got a coconut because he liked fruit and beating things with hammers.
which probably would've been great except we didn't have a hammer, so instead we spent about 30 minutes stomping itike it owed us money. when it finally cracked we cheered like we just got the winning touchball at the superdome and then he ate some of the flesh, and i ate some of the radishes, and we admired the black, starless sky of the city before i took him back to his hotel room.
and then we got pulled over.
i forgot to turn my lights on because the street all around the food city was ludicrously well lit. so it went from being pretty bright, to pretty bright and flashy, then i pulled into a parking lot and a cop came to ask us for IDs which is where everything went to shit:
i’d forgotten my license at home.
the cop was was actually kind of chill about it - he said he could get by with just an address. except i did not know my address. i hadn't memorized the new one yet. so i told the cop, my house is getting remodeled, i don't know my address right now. and then he went to my friend, and my friend said the exact same thing. house getting remodeled, staying somewhere else, no address, sowwwwwwy.
now the cop genuinely didn't know what to do. he went back to his car, and i was stressed that i was about to get into HUGE trouble so i started eating the radishes and my buddy started eating more of his coconut, and we actually managed to eat like a quarter of both before the cop came back. we ate enough produce that he could smell something weird in the air, and he asked what the smell was, and i said radishes, and my buddy said coconut, and the cop said which, and then we produced a large bag of droopy radishes and an absolutely brutalized coconut, and the cop was just like
so my buddy tried explaining how he was sharing a 500 square foot apartment with 6 people and wanted a fruit he could fight with power tools, and i tried explaining how i'd actually tried buying my parents like, board games and puzzles and stuff but nothing worked - the only thing my parents seemed to like doing right now was each other, and we both went on long enough and pathetically enough that the cop eventually went:
ok. stop.
and we stopped.
and he said do you know why i pulled you over?
and i said, because of my headlights, and my friend (who is hispanic) and the cop both looked at me like like i was the dumbest person in the entire world. and then the cop said no. that's why i'm allowed to pull you over. i checked your car because this neighborhood has a terrible sex trafficking problem, and i pull over every car i can to make sure no one is buying or selling sex. and you two are obviously doing neither. now i could give you, like, four tickets right now, but that would do nothing to make this area safer, so just turn your lights on, go home, drive safe, and try to be less stupid in the future.
and i said okay but i was thinking, you know, damn, this is just how i live man, i don't have a hidden third gear i can shift into. people can't just get smarter because it would be convenient. it's always convenient to be smart. i am literally trying my best.
but i didn't say anything because i was, slowly, learning how to filter what i said. instead i nodded and the cop left then i dropped my buddy off, and the last thing he said was said he owed me for responding to his SOS. I said he owed me for a lot of things, and he agreed that was true. then i drove home with my lights on, 5 under the speed limit, and arrived to a peaceful quiet home. I could’ve wept with relief but instead I went to bed.
the relief was short lived. i was woken up at 6 am by my parents. i swore, and then i prayed, and when i did not explode, i swore again. then i got up to make breakfast before my first class.
#babylon-lore#anecdotes#funny stories#the second dumbest traffic stop of my life#the first happened on a date with my wife#and it's a pretty good story#i#ll get around to that one eventually#like its not shoe story good but it's a funny little incident
11K notes
·
View notes