#mattihas helvar

[traumatised-confused-individual]

It's so funny to me that matthias thinks kaz is a demon. Kaz could pull an unbelievable stunt and have mattihas beleive he's the devil himself.

[verymessybrain]

Are you telling me that i have to wait another year for the Ice Court Heist and to see all the crows finally togheter!?!?!??!

[cunningambitousdetermined]

my rant about shadow and bone

ok i just need to get this out bc i love the grishaverse so much; here we go

disclaimer: these are my opinions, no one has to believe them or think the same

why i love the books:

- the books were amazing

- i had been wanting to read them for a while and when i finally did, i was so excited but also worried that the hype might ruin it for me. IT DIDN’T AT ALL

- the imagery was so beautiful and the WORLDBUILDING MY GOD, i was a little confused but getting to know the world was one of the best parts

- the writing was so fun to read, it just kept you hooked from one page to the next and i never wanted to stop

- leigh bardugo has done a phenomenal job of building the relationships between every character and they felt so real even if they werent super close and when they were and they had issues like PTSD and stuff she wrote that so beautifully 

- building off of that; the way she dealt with PTSD and slavery was really cool and interesting in a way i’ve never read about it before

- INEJ: as an indian girl i really struggle with finding any good indian characters that have more to a role then being the doctor or the grocery shop owner or the token, indian person and so reading about inej was honestly one of the most amazing things i’ve ever experienced. it made me realize, YEAH i am indian and I AM OKAY WITH THAT. to read about her getting a love interest, fighting, being the most badass person ever was so so so touching that i cried, because she was amazing and normal (to the point where she could think of something other then her AP classes and an arranged marriage) and she was acctually really cool

- just reading something so inspiring and beautiful was the final push into looking into my own writing which i now love and hope to foster as i grow

why i love the show and the cast:

- i’ve been in love with ben barnes for literally forever (ok just had to say that)

- the casting was spot on, just absolutely perfect

- i am now so inspired by the diversity in the cast because wow, amita suman is like my hero. shes indian and shes in a show and shes famous and shes beautiful. i’ve never seen someone portray an brown women that way and in a way where i felt proud to say, yeah im indian just like amita suman

- jessie mei li has my heart because they are the sweetest, kindest human being ever and did i mention GORGEOUS?!

- now the show itself was such a great representation of the story but it was so unique in a way that i wasn’t expecting. and i loved it

- the way racism was incorporated in the story and the chemistry between everyone was really great

- seeing the cast pictures and hearing them in the interviews is something i do when im sad because it makes me remember that there is happy, good people in the world

in conclusion:

- leigh bardugo, you saint, these books and tv shows were a ledge for me when i was struggling and kept me sane in a time where i wasn’t sure i wanted to be. for a long time those books were the harry potter books but now as i am reading these books with characters like inej and the darkling, i really have never felt more attached to a cast of a show or characters of a book. again, INEJ IS INDIAN AND I THANK YOU FOR THAT, the amount of self worth that gave me was amazing, your books were a light when i was in the dark and im so grateful for them

OK YALL WOW I REALLY HAD TO GET THAT OUT OF ME BEFORE I EXPLODED PHEW and if you are reading this, thank you, i commend you for staying this long with my crazy and nonsense. if you are reading this but you just scrolled through this entire thing, hi! this is the end, thanks for being here. 

also @lbardugo this IS a thank you letter 

not me tagging leigh bardugo knowing very well she wont see this but doing it JUST in case she does and decides she loves me just as much as i love her

[sanguinewithasideofmeh]

Favorite six of crows or crooked kingdom quote?

[dontknow-ijusttalkabout-things]

Wylan: Jesper why did you put my photos in the freezer?

Jesper: sorry

Jesper: I did it because you're too

Jesper: HOT

[thebadgerclan]

Captured

Pairing: Matthias Helvar x reader

Requested by Anonymous

Summary: You’ve been captured...

When your husband had found your shared home empty when he returned, he didn’t find that too far out of the ordinary.  Perhaps you were out with a friend or at the market.  But normally, you’d have left a note, and there was no note in sight.  Then, Matthias entered the bedroom, and what he saw chilled him to the core.  The room bore obvious signs of a struggle; pictures were shattered on the ground, the curtains were torn, the wall was punched in.

But there, on the bed, was a pin; a human heart wrapped in barbed wire, the sign of a Grisha Heartrender.  Matthias swore, slamming his fist into the doorjamb, and called for Trassel to follow him.  The isenulf followed obediently, on high alert after his master’s unsettledness.  Matthias knew he could go to Brum for help, but his commander would have to launch a formal investigation, put together a team, gather evidence, and that would take time,  Time you might not have.

His wife had been taken by the drüje, that was a sin that Matthias could not forgive.  He gatherers his weapons; his bola, his rifle, his knife.  He picked up the nightdress you’d worn the previous night, holding it to Trassel’s nose.  The wolf scented the clothing intently, looking to his master when he had the scent memorized.  “Spår,” Matthias commanded, track.  The isenulf sniffed at the air, and when he caught the scent, he took off.

Matthias ran behind him, keeping his hand on the butt of his rifle.  He wouldn’t hesitate to kill anyone in his path, not if it meant getting you back.  He’d do penance for the rest of his life, but as long as you were safe, Matthias didn’t care.  People on the street leapt out of his way, sensing the urgency in his steps or frightened by the great white wolf barrelling down the road.

Trassel led Matthias out of the city proper and into the woods.  He saw footprints that had been hastily covered, and he smirked.  The drüje are getting sloppy, he thought.  Trassel’s steps hastened, as did Mattihas’, and a moment later, they came upon a darkened cabin.  Matthias crouched behind a tree, and his wolf stood obediently beside him.  “Distrahera,” he said, distract, and Trassel bounded forward.

Distraction was one of Trassel’s best tactics.  He could go from fearsome predator to trembling pup in seconds, and that was exactly what he did now.  He whined and pawed at the door, and a moment later, a witch in a red kefta opened it, her face contorting to that of pity.  “Oh darling,” she cooed in Ravkan.  “Are you lost?”  Matthias seized his chance; he ran from his hiding place to the wall of the cabin, climbing in through the open window.  He found you knelt on the floor, bound and gagged, your wrists behind your back.

You perked up when you saw your husband, but Matthias held a finger to his lips.  At once, you nodded, keeping quiet, but unable to quell the hope in your chest.  Everything would be alright, Matthias was here, you were saved.  Your husband drew his knife, silently creeping toward the witch at the door.  Trassel was lapping up the attention she was giving him, and he knew that the isenulf was truly enjoying it.  But she whirled around, raising her hands before her.  Matthias’ airway shut, the air trapped in his lungs.

“Did you think I wouldn’t know you were here?” the witch taunted.  Trassel was on high alert once more, hackles raised, fangs bared.  “I sensed your heartbeat the moment you stepped from behind that tree.  “Then why,” Matthias wheezed.  “Did you let me inside?”  The drüje shrugged.  “Fun, perhaps.  Or to let you think you could win.  It doesn’t matter, now does it?”  Matthias saw spots in his peripheral vision, and he knew he would faint soon.

With the last of his breath, he whispered a command, praying to Djel that Trassel would hear him.  “Ge sig på.”  Attack.  Heartrender power was useless on animals, and Trassel snarled, leaping atop his attacker.  The witch yelped as the wolf sunk his jaws into her arm, her hands dropping, releasing her hold on Matthias’ trachea.  Your husband fell to his knees, sucking in breath, but his hand wrapped around the hilt of his blade.

The wolf kept the witch pinned, and Matthias rose, standing over her with murder in his eyes.  “Let us hope your blasphemous Saints are forgiving,” he said.  “For you have committed many sins.”  Matthias adjusted the knife in his hand, but turned to you.  “Look away, my love,” he said, and you did, turning your face from your husband and your captor.  Matthias slit the witch’s throat, ensuring she would be unable to heal herself with her unholy power.

When he was certain she was dead, he ran to you, pulling the gag from your mouth and untying your wrists.  “Matthias,” you gasped, tears coursing down your face.  “Matthias, I thought…I felt…Djel, I thought I was going to die!”  You broke down, sobbing hysterically, and your husband pulled you into his arms, his grip on your middle vice-like.  “My darling, I have you.  You are safe, nothing can hurt you now.  I will always keep you safe, Y/N, my sweet wife, I am so sorry.”

Matthias began crying as well, and the two of you sat there, your captor’s blood soaking the floorboards, soaking in the fact that you were alive and well.  He would ask you later what happened, but later, when you were more calm and composed.  Now, he would comfort you, take you home, bathe you, clean the bedroom, and do whatever he could to help you forget this horrible day.

[k80rph]

100 100x100 of calahan skogman as mattihas helvar in shadow & bone episode 6

[jonathanlejonhjarta]

Hey dude! What are your thoughts on the Helvar/Brekker ship? I'd never considered it but I recently saw an edit for it and I do like it! I really like the way you look at fictional characters and kind of do your own thing with them while also understanding the source material very well. So I'm interested to hear your opinion! Have a nice day!

hello pal !! ahhhh ok so, i saw that post and i was like FINALLY someone else than me is thinking about it ! because yes, of course i have thought about it. matthias is my beautiful scandinavian boyfriend representation so of course i have wanted him to relieve that he likes ppl of all genders because then i’d have a chance with him ;–) nina/matthias is a super good ship though, but i would so break them up if that meant nina&inej became girlfriends in canon

i find it super difficult when it comes to shipping kaz with people (for example, i am not a fan of the canon ship kaz is involved in, to the extent that i actually have it blacklisted) because of kaz’s trauma, him being in that kind of relationship is so difficult, which we are shown in the book, which is probably one of the reasons why he and inej didn’t become involved in the end. 

BUT if kaz and matthias was to be in a romantic relationship these are my thoughts: 

in the book, it looks like matthias comes from a strictly (binary and cis-) heteronormative patriarchal culture, where the main point of relationships is, in the end, to conceive children. men and women have different roles in society and duties toward the other gender. i’d say that the fjerdan culture we are shown in the duology inherently homophobic and misogynistic. (basing this on how when nina and matthias discusses his previous romantic and sexual relationships and how matthias comments that women shouldn’t act the way nina does) 

so the internalised homophobia would be the main obstacle matthias would have to overcome when realising he was attracted to kaz, but also him admitting that all of the men in the world he could like, kaz is the one.

while kaz’s main obstacle is his trauma and the fear of letting people close, mentally and physically.  

matthias is also pretty prude (it is possible that this has to do with the cultural climate he is raised in) and therefore, what i’ve interpreted, respectful of personal boundaries. and that’s great because he needs to be that around kaz to not give kaz a panic attack and/or get murdered

we know from canon how kaz handles liking people: he accidentally insults them, he lets them see him vulnerable, he challenges his skin against skin repulsion when he touches their neck, helping them changing their bandages after they’ve non fatally gotten shot in the chest. 

matthias and kaz’s relationship would be kaz letting matthias hand brush against the bare skin of the back of his hand without flinching, standing side by side, almost/maybe shoulders touching while they wait in the harbour for inej to dock, kaz fiddling with matthias’ blonde hair when it has grown out, them locking eyes during events and matthias giving kaz a little smile, kaz answering with a scowl to surpress his own smile which just makes matthias’ smile widen. it would be matthias asking for permission before touching kaz’s face to wipe away tears after a nightmare. it would be kaz making himself as tiny as possible and then leaning forward, burying his face against matthias’ shoulder and let the nightshirt the other man is wearing absorb tears. it would be kaz nodding into mattihas’ shoulder when the latter asks him if it is okay if he puts his arms around kaz.

it’d be kaz promising matthias to protect him from the drüskelle, since he is a deserter and they want him dead. it’d be matthias having second thoughts of joining the dregs and being with kaz brekker, because he is a traitor who deserves death. matthias panicking and kaz snapping at him to pull him together because if fate wanted him dead, he would’ve died when shot in the chest. that hadn’t been the plan for matthias helvar. and if it had been, surprise, kaz had changed the plan to something he thought fitting his and the world’s needs. 

this may seem small things, but for kaz, it is a step on the way to let people close again. he’d never call matthias his partner publicly. this is not because matthias is a man. it has to do with they liking each other is their sake and him knowing their romantic involvement will not last forever. but instead of worrying about them in the future, he tries to focus the present.

the present where they all sit around the table in the van eck manison, matthias with his fork frozen on the way to his mouth while listening to jesper and wylan bickering about which month during the year is the ultimate time for planting those new flowers in wylan’s mother’s garden (wylan says april, jesper says august) and both nina and inej taking wylan’s side, making jesper complain about how everyone always is against him and kaz commenting that jesper shouldn’t say anything about gardering when he has no idea what he is talking about. 

(does kaz know anything about gardering??? what is this man that matthias likes??? how come he knows everything?? matthias is staring at his boyfriend, the fork stil in the air, not having reached it’s goal)