#may have sort of played a Significant Role in my youth as a gifted and talented kid

[blizardstar]

I may be having an Autism Realization

Like. Patterns are cool right??? Human pattern recognition is astounding and beautiful and part of what makes us unique? Shapes and Numbers and Words?

Seeing shapes and faces in the clouds and in shadows and in the bits of dirt and debris littering the world? How root woods connect and allow you to know the meanings of words you’ve never heard before? How the 9s times table goes 09 18 27 36 45 54 63 72 81 90???? How people an animals behave? The way speech and slang and dialect differs and yet can be so similar?

[lili66sblog]

ALL Time Reading ;

Pick -a-pile:"your wedding 💍 dayy & life "

Pile 1

Okay,so for you pile no.1,I feel like you would feel kind of nervous on your wedding day,it would be like an emotional nervousness where you are excited but somewhere nervous as well for the responsibility.I see your husband playing a very important role ,he might be like a person who likes to be in charge and do everything in a proper way .I feel like he would be helping a lot on your wedding day,and there might be many last minute changes as well.Your mother in law would have a significant role to play as well.I see you wearing a very beautiful dress kind of lacy ,and I see some piece of jewellery might be a locket or anything else ,which you would wear as a token of love as it will be gifted to you by your husband.I also see that your dress would be kind of traditional as well.The decorations of your wedding would be simple yet elegant .

I see that your life after marriage would be quite traditional. I see that in your marriage there are many third party interactions like your brother in law or other general relatives of the family ,not necessarily in a bad way ,it might be that you guys would be living with them like a family or might be involved with them somehow.I think that your marriage might have many mutual changes as well!

That was your reading pile 1,hope you liked 🤗❤!

Pile 2

Hloo my dear pile 2😘!,soo your wedding day I think would not be less than a movie ,there are so much emotions ,and so much fun !I feel like you would have your colleagues or your classmates friends present in your wedding and you guys would do a lot of fun games with them.And you and your husband would be the spotlighttt ,what I mean by that is that you would kind of fall in love with them on your wedding day itself,i mean not saying that you would not love them before,but it's just something about your wedding day that you'll see something in their eyes and that feeling of like finally spending the rest of your life with them ,it's just totally different!Yk it's like you have seen them as your friend where you both were kids ,doing fun ,major friends to lovers vibe here.So ya,it's like that you were kids until "this "moment when he just showed up to take vows with you ,now you are not kids anymore not just lovers anymore,but soulmates ❤!Yup,i know it's totally drama romantic ,but it is yk!!!And like talking about the decorations so the decorations would be very chill yet very classy ,luxurious even.It's the perfect bachelorette party with all the luxury items yet will the chill vibe and atmosphere any group of friends can dream for.Talking about your dress it would be sort of cool yet cute in a way.You would have a lot of fun in your wedding day,but at the same time you would start something really beautiful both in reality as well as spiritually.

I am getting that for you the life after marriage would be quite dynamic I would say.I am getting a lot of fire energy it is very possible that either you or your spouse has fire in their chart.There is a lot of youthful energy in this pile.I feel most of your's mental age is 18 or 20.Like you are young from your heart.Again the life after your marriage reminds me of a sweet rom com movie,where i also see fight between you ,like crazy fights ,but in the end you guys will stick together.I am getting a lott of career focused vibes,I feel like both you and your spouse are very curious people ,the type of people who always wants to learn in their life ,and also I am getting that you and your spouse might have very different aspirations as well ,in which your relationship can be a problem and may lead to fights between you two.But I am seeing that in the end there is a energy of always returning ,returning to where you belong,to them actually.You guys would learn so much about life with each other ,sometimes fighting with each other ,staying away with each or coming back or loving each other.There is what you call a journey ahead for you 🌟!

That was your reading pile no.2 ,hope you liked,and stay blesseddd!!

Pile 3

Hlo sweeties!!So ,this pile is the princess pile actually.Your wedding would be grand ,I think that your spouse would be rich and you would marry a rich person actually.I think that you wouldn't know a lot about your spouse before marriage ,I think it will happen quite fast.You would be shy and nervous about it .You can even feel confused.Your dress can be possibly gifted to you by the groom's family,it would be very beautiful and traditional is what I am seeing.The decorations again at your wedding would be so beautiful and luxurious.You can marry in a big hall or something.

Life after marriage would be very serene actually!Like ,I am seeing that you and your spouse would develop a very beautiful bond with each other.I feel like you would be very responsible after marriage ,you would actually learn quite a lot from your husband.You and your husband would together invest in something financial is what I am seeing,you would eventually have many financial gains as well after your marriage.I feel like that you and your spouse would be the responsible ones in your family as you would have to take a lot of responsibility possibly because of many reasons.Either ways but I do am seeing you fulfilling your responsibilities very well by caring and supporting for each other .!!!!

Hey,my dear pile 3,that was your reading ,hope you enjoyed!❤

Pile 4

Heyy,pile no 4!!I feel like you guys would be very happy on your wedding day.Like I feel like that you have actually planned your wedding a lot in advance ,and manifested it even in some ways.I think that you guys would be very well settled in your career before marriage, I am getting a lot of diplomatic life planning people vibes from this pile.I think that maybe you guys would already have the time in mind when you would get married ,and also only after being settled in your career.I think that it would be a cute ,chill traditional wedding.I don't see a lot of people ,I actually see the families of both sides,your friends and some colleagues.I think that you guys might marry in an open place possibly surrounding a lot of nature.your dress would be very beautiful ,stylish and comfortable as well.The decorations would be very flowery and fresh .I see a lot of happy faces and smiles and laughter on your wedding .

Your life after marriage is very different actually.Like you guys would be the most talked about couple actually.I see that there would be a lot of talks regarding you ,I think that you and your spouse would make a very stylish couple ,always properly dressed and yk giving perfectionist vibes .I feel like you and your spouse would give a lot of space to each other in marriage and would be very supportive of each other's work.The problem would be that both of you would be a bit egoistic with your ideas and beliefs and this could create problems.I think that you guys would focus a lot on your public image as a couple and could act very well behaved around other people ,this could create a sense of baggage of always portraying an idealistic marriage for the two of you.You guys would be fighting but in a cute way as well ,like kids fight for which superhero is the best ,lol.It would be a stylish and cute affair ,your marriage!

Hlo my lovelies,hope you liked😘💓💓!

Pile 5

Hey ,lovelies!your wedding day would be quite old school yet stylish I would say .I am seeing that you guys would believe in concepts such as soulmates and made for each other or match made in heaven.All of these ideals would come into reality on your wedding day .I see that there would be a lot of your seniors as well as your friends on your wedding day.Your dress would be very 90s or possibly something which is considered old yet iconic.There would be sexual tension between you and your spouse ,you guys would be very passionate for each other.I see that it would be an old school fairy like atmosphere or decorations of your wedding.You would be shy at first but as time will pass,you would also start enjoying and being free on your wedding day!

You guys would have a lot of aspirations and dreams to conquer after your marriage.I see that you guys would have similar dreams and can actually start something together professionally,you guys could be the chain breakers of your family. You guys would be always supporting each other and would find success in your professional field as well,but you guys would also have to sacrifice for it I would say.I see that the people around you would not really support what you are doing and you guys might feel lonely sometimes as you have no support but through each other's help you will overcome many obstacles in your life.You guys would be the ideal couple surviving through the thicks and thins of your life.

That was your reading pile 5!Hope you liked it !!!

[peachfaeryy]

Hi 🌙

It's my birthday right now. I'm 26 now.

1. What is my fondest childhood memory?

My fondest childhood memories definitely consist of the lovely people who I grew up with and derived my sense of humor/silliness from: my cousins Anna & Emily, Savannah -- my childhood best friend, and Kaleb, my eternal crush. These memories consist of them in elementary school, camp, and my grandma's house in San Antonio.

2. What is my favorite comfort food?

Probably nachos/chips/chips & queso.

3. What’s my favorite way to exercise?

Uh...DANCE.

4. Am I a morning person or a night owl?

I lean more towards night owl but I try to avoid both.

5. If I could have any superpower, what would it be?

The currency of youth.

6. Do I prefer cooking, baking, or neither?

I love both cooking and baking :) I find both extremely rewarding and cathartic.

7. Am I an introvert or an extrovert?

Ambivert strongly introvert-leaning.

8. What superhero do I find most relatable?

None, I detest all superheroes.

9. What is my favorite season of the year — and what do I love most about it?

Winter because it provides me with the most amount of physical comfort. I love sleeping in a very cold room, opening my windows with no AC on. Sitting in my car listening to music/eating with engine off. Less humidity. Food is tastier. Style is better.

10. Do I believe in the existence of angels?

Not particularly? Well, yes but I believe they have absolutely no role or effect on our world.

11. What are my favorite TV series?

American Crime Story (OJ & Versace), Fleabag, Atlanta...90 Day Fiance, Game of Thrones

12. What was the last movie I watched (or the last movie I enjoyed)?

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (let's gooOoo)

13. Am I a tidy person or a messy one?

I used to be very messy but not I'd consider myself pretty tidy. My nature is messy though.

14. Am I afraid of the dark?

Nah.

15. Am I more of a coffee person or a tea person?

Mostly coffee.

16. What talents do I possess that I’m proud of?

I don't have any natural-born talents but I suppose my ability to teach myself a new skill over time.

17. Do (or did) I like school?

I loved school and literally work at a school.

18. Did I go to the prom?

Unfortunately, yes.

19. What is my idea of a perfect date?

Definitely grabbing pizza at a nice restaurant.

20. Do I enjoy DIY or crafts?

Not at all, sounds awful, lol.

21. Do I forgive others easily?

Yes. But not so much anymore now that I'm older and more experienced. My instinct/nature is very forgiving.

22. Do I have a nickname — or did I ever have one?

None.

23. Do I have any phobias?

I'm scared of most anything anything everything...I'd say my daily fear is mistaking my razor for my toothbrush in the shower.

24. Have I ever met one of my heroes? If yes, who was it, and how did it go?

No?

25. Do I speak any other languages?

No, but I told myself I would learn Spanish before I die.

26. Have I ever traveled outside my native country?

Yes! I have been the Mexico and Ireland.

27. If money were no object, what would I want for my next birthday?

Maybe a trip to South Korea/Germany/Rhode Island

28. Have I ever been addicted to something?

Yes. But as far as substances? I'm addicted to Nsaid.

29. When I was a kid, what did I want to be when I grew up?

I wanted to be a wildlife photographer when I was a kid-kid.

30. Have I ever won something?

$75 with scratch offs

31. Have I ever narrowly escaped death (or serious injury)?

I'd say so, yes.

32. Do I prefer baths or showers?

Showers.

33. How am I feeling right now?

Changed.

34. Have I ever played any sports?

Soccer, Basketball, and cross-country

35. Do I prefer the beach or the mountains?

Beach, but I feel connected to both.

36. Do I prefer a Mac or a PC?

Uh...PC?

37. Do I prefer dogs or cats (or some other pet)?

Cats...I honestly do not like dogs at all.

38. Do I have any piercings or tattoos? Would I like to get any?

I have three tattoos: three rune, a sword, and a butterfly. All of which are on my arms.

39. Do I have kids?

Not right now.

40. Do I have siblings?

None.

41. What do I do on a typical Friday night?

Same thing I usually do: practice dance/choreo for a couple of hours. Read, cook, watch Youtube. If I’m going out, I’ll maybe grab dinner/hang with my friends. I MAY go to ~the club~ in a blue moon.

42. If I could go anywhere in the world with unlimited funds, where would I go?

SOUTH KOREA

43. What do I do to relax?

Shower, listen to music. Do my makeup for fun.

44. What do I do to wake up or boost my energy levels?

Blast Stray Kids

45. Would I rather have unlimited energy or unlimited money?

Unlimited money

46. Am I a collector of anything? If yes, how big is my collection?

I collect Kpop bullshit...(albums, photo cards, posters, etc.) essentially merch from my favorite artists.

47. What sort of gift would I want from my significant other on Valentine’s Day or on my birthday?

JUST flowers. All I care about it getting flowers on both of those days.

48. Which would I rather avoid — excess heat or extreme cold?

Excess heat.

49. Would movie genre would I rather watch: action, romance, fantasy, or horror?

Of those choices: horror. I also like a solid journey story.

50. Have I ever been on a diet? If yes, how did it go?

More like a mini eating disorder, lol? I went through phases where I only consumed 1500 calories.

51. If I could live anywhere for a month with whomever I choose, where would that be?

Greece with I suppose...someone I get along with.

52. Have I ever gone camping? Or do you look at a tent and think, “I feel like that’s the wonton wrapper, and I’m the filling.”

Yes, several times. I actually thoroughly enjoy camping.

53. What’s the last song I listened to?

Ribs -- Lorde

54. What’s my current obsession, and how much have I spent on it?

Anything kpop...hours. I’m talking hours and hours.

55. What’s a favorite book of mine?

We Need to Talk About Kevin

56. What should I be doing right now?

Sleeping.

57. What’s my best feature?

Physically? Boobs.

Personality? I would say kindness but that’s basic. Witty? Self-discipline.  

58. What’s the most expensive article of clothing (or shoes) that I own?

Damn...shoes...? $100?

59. What is one thing I could not live without?

Music. My one coping mechanism and literally the reason I’m alive and functional.

60. What’s one thing I can’t leave the house without (other than keys and my wallet)?

Phone... BC packet?

61. What’s one of my pet peeves?

Slow walkers

62. What wild animal would I love to have for a pet (as long as it didn’t eat anyone)?

Maybe like...a toucan?

63. What’s my favorite drink?

An ICE COLD fizzy SODA boiii

64. What’s my spirit animal, and do I own anything featuring that animal?

I guess I’m very cat-like. I used to have a lot of cat stuff, but not anymore...

65. What’s my favorite restaurant, and what’s my favorite splurge order?

I like basically any fast food joint. I’m also a sucker for Chili’s. I’m really basic. A splurge order for me would be ordering a margarita with my meal.

66. What’s my favorite movie — or the best one I’ve seen in the last three years?

I’ve been obsessed with We Need to Talk About Kevin, Pirates of the Caribbean...I’ve been wanting to rewatch Little Miss Sunshine

67. What’s a favorite hobby of mine?

Dancing :)

68. What’s my favorite go-to snack?

Health-wise: apples and peanut butter. But if I don’t care: chips

69. What are my must-haves for watching a movie in a theater?

True interest in the film

70. What’s my favorite kind of competition to watch (sports, cooking, etc.)?

Not really into competition shows.

71. Would I rather get an electric shock or get an intramuscular shot (tetanus, etc.)?

Electric shock?

72. What’s my dream car?

Bella’s shitty red truck let’s gooooo

73. What are the must-haves in the home of my dreams?

LOTS of open space, sunlight, heated bathroom floor

74. What’s my favorite sandwich?

Chicken salad, BLT, plain peanut butter

75. What’s my favorite kind of dinner? (comfort food, four-course, take-out Chinese…)

Comfort food

76. If I could change my eye and hair color, what color/s would I choose?

I would DEF change my eye color to a warm brown and my hair to very dark brown. I’m growing my natural hair out. I’m going dye-free right now.

77. Who is my favorite fictional character (or one of them)?

Jack Sparrow

78. What’s my longest relationship so far (other than family)?

4 years...

79. What is my star sign — or do I usually avoid that question?

I DO NOT care about this but I’m a Leo

80. What is my lucky number, or what is a favorite number of mine?

Uh? N/A

81. What city do I live in now, and what’s my favorite thing about it?

I still live in Denton and I detest it.

82. What state do I live in now, and what do I love about it?

Texas, its diversity.

83. If I had to move to a different state, where would I rather go?

New Mexico

84. Have I ever colored my hair? If yes, what’s my favorite hair color experiment so far?

Yes, most of my teen and adult life. But my “crazy” hair experiment right now is going dye-free and wearing my natural color.

85. Whom do I miss right now?

My 14-year-old self

86. Have I ever made a mistake that someone else refused to forgive me for?

Apparently.

87. Do I have a celebrity crush? If yes, who is it?

JOHNNY DEPP and all of Stray Kids lol. Jungkook?

88. If I could meet any celebrity for coffee/tea and a chat, who would it be?

Marina Diamandis

89. As desserts go, would I rather have ice cream or cheesecake?

Ice Cream

90. Would I rather live in a house or an apartment, and why?

A small house.

91. Would I rather live in a treehouse, a cave, or a submarine?

Treehouse

92. What is one big goal that I want to accomplish this year?

Move out of D*nton.

93. What do I want to do for a living?

I’m happy being a teacher, but ultimately I’d like to counsel kids.

94. When I feel sick, where do I usually feel it first or most noticeably?

My head.

95. What sort of smartphone do I use, and what made me choose it?

Uh? Android?

96. What’s one movie that I’ve watched repeatedly? What do I love about it?

I watch signs pretty frequently. Midsommar? I connect with its characters because they seem like real actual people? I’ve been wanting to rewatch the Lovely Bones.

100. If I could afford one, would I rather hire a chef, a personal assistant, or a housekeeper?

Housekeeper!

97. What is one food that I refuse to eat?

Liver

98. What exotic food would I be willing to try?

I’d be open to trying most any food.

99. What is one item on my bucket list, and what made me choose it?

I’m kind of working on it now. I want to put a few years in while I’m young and able to become a very good dancer. I know that to obtain that it IS going to take years. It’s something that’s really important to me because I’ve always wanted that for myself but never made actual steps to obtain/execute it. And ultimately, I want it because it allows me to feel like my true self.

[somniatcr]

      character study series--- d.azai o.samu

where do i even begin--- dazai is possibly... probably... the most complex character within my little roster. and, like izaya  ( who i’ve already done a post like this for, which can be found here )  and the rest of my muses i suppose, my dazai is very headcanon based  ( though i do take a lot of reference from the series itself, i tend to portray him as i see fit and most enjoy doing so without sacrificing the things that i believe to be pivotal to his character );  to be entirely honest, when it comes to the manga, for bungou stray dogs and for nearly every series to ever exist, i’m not, nor do i imagine that i will ever be, entirely caught up.

all that said, let us delve into dazai; into the way that he thinks, the way that he functions, the way that he acts, and generally who is he as a person  ( as well as how i, personally, view and portray his character ).

let me first kick things off with a significant change that i’ve made in regard to his character, in how he’ll be portrayed here on this blog. dazai canonically has a deeply troubled mind. though his frequent, and oftentimes wistful, talk of death and his suicidal behaviors are rarely, if ever, taken seriously within the series itself  ( rather being treated as a source of comedic relief, which does somewhat bother me, but it is what it is ),  likely due to this penchant that he has for jesting and for over-dramatics, the reality that his mind is very dark and very deeply troubled remains. he feels as though there is this deep, dark hole  ( an emptiness, a void )  within him that he’s incapable of filling, regardless of however hard that he tries. a large majority of his life was spent dedicated to this, to trying to fill it, to trying to find some sort of reason to live  ( which is why he had initially aligned himself with the port mafia to begin with; he believed that he could, perhaps, find what he’d been searching for, what he’d been longing for, if he lived this life of conflict, of bloodshed and war ),  though, obviously, this was to no avail. and while, yes, he will at times use self-depreciating humor, and while, yes, at times his humor may be dark, a bit morbid, his depression and his suicidal thoughts, tendencies, are not rooted in comedy, they are not a source of comedic relief and i, personally, don’t write him, portray him, in that particular light.

that said, does he ultimately want to die? in his youth, yes, absolutely. he hadn’t yet met anyone that he cared for  ( he had no attachments, had never felt nor experienced any genuine form of love ).  he too no joy from life, spent all this time searching, aching, for purpose, yet couldn’t find it.

and then he met people who meant something. he met chuuya who, though he was adamant that he couldn’t stand him, was interesting. he met odasaku, who managed to break through his barriers unlike anyone before  ( or after )  him, who wormed his way into dazai’s heart and gave him this friendship that he never knew that he’d wanted, nor needed, who provided him with a much needed positive role model and with this beacon of hope. this--- this was pivotal in setting about a turning point, in finally setting him on a different path, in giving him the purpose that he’d been searching for all those years. although an irrefutable tragedy, oda’s death ultimately brought about new life in that it  ( and in oda’s dying words )  gave dazai a will to live.

all the same, he does still suffer from depression, he’s an insomniac, and he does still struggle with suicidal ideation  ( in that he still thinks about death, about dying and all of the ways that he could go about doing it, fairly often ). 

moving on,

this is a man with a very dark and violent past, an important thing to keep in mind. while little is known about his past bar from the knowledge that he was affiliated with the port mafia, that he’s been rooted within this world since he was around fourteen years old, back when he met mori ougai  ( as well as the fact that he managed to wind up being the youngest executive in port mafia history ),  it can be surmised that his time spent working beneath mori likely, at least in part, has resulted in his penchant for apathy, his tendency to emotionally detach himself from others, from death, and from traumatic experiences as a whole  ( he’s actually been shown attempting to fill that hole in his heart, in fact, to find joy, to feel something in causing harm to and in killing others, though he never quite does manage to get what he wants ).  his experience as a killer and as highly skilled interrogator  ( it’s worth noting that he, in fact, specialized in torturing others for information; he’s even once gone so far as to state that there wasn’t a single prisoner who ultimately didn’t wind up spilling everything when he was the one tasked with retrieving it--- and while still being a child ),  has been alluded to on more than one occasion and, even to this day, he still manages to command respect and to inspire fear throughout the port mafia, albeit no longer being a member himself.

he is unconcerned with the idea good and evil. while he currently affiliates himself with the armed detective agency, now working to protect  ( and to save )  the city and the lives of its inhabitants, his motivation to do so was primarily spurred by the words of a friend prior to his passing;  ’ be on the side that saves people. if both sides are the same, be a good man; save the weak and protect the orphans. neither good nor evil means much to you, i know… but that’d make you at least a little bit better. i know better than anyone because… i am your friend. ’

it’s these words, oda sakunosuke, that finally sets him on a different path, that leads him to meeting the members of the armed detective agency, that leads him to meeting nakajima atsushi, an orphan who’s life he, ultimately, does wind up making a difference in, providing him with much needed guidance  ( though to say that all of his methods, and all of his motives, in doing so are genuinely good, genuinely selfless, and always would be a little hard-pressed--- also, it’s worth keeping in mind that this is the second orphan to have been taken beneath his wing; the first being akutagawa ryunosuke who’s experiences with dazai were significantly different, the training that he endured beneath him being absolutely hellish, horrific, and cruel ).

ultimately, with him, the ends justify the means and, so, the actions, whether good or evil, mean little to him. he’s willing to use any means, any method, to achieve his goals; this includes playing dirty, causing harm to others, killing / death when deemed necessary, and so on and so forth. such as, for example, purposefully deflating the airbag in someone’s car prior to a car ‘accident’, in turn causing extensive injuries that he’s only willing to have healed by a fellow ability user in exchange for having a young girl pardoned of her past crimes. the end goal was ultimately good, sure, but the means of getting there were anything but.

he’s also an exceptional liar. while his ability to intricately weave together falsehoods, from the most small and insignificant of lies to the most complex of tales, comes naturally, his time spent working for the port mafia only honed his abilities further. and while is doesn’t lie constantly, perhaps not even frequently  ( instead opting to simply abstain from providing an answer altogether ),  he is, in himself, a walking fabrication, putting on a perennial facade all his own; fake. his true thoughts and emotions are rarely so much as even alluded to, frequently hidden behind a mask of his creation, perfectly crafted and nearly impossible to crack. furthermore, his true intentions, frequently, are left unrevealed until he, himself, chooses to reveal them. in truth, there isn’t a person alive who truly knows or who genuinely understands him. there are a select few  ( such as mori ougai, nakahara chuuya )  who come, in their own way, close through all of their time spent working with him  ( a former mentor, a former partner ),  though none are able to comprehend his actions, his mind, in their entirely, not quite the way that oda was once able to.

it doesn’t help that he is also a man of mystery and deflection. while he may talk and act as though he’s an open book  ( and believe me, he does just this and often ),  he rarely, if ever, speaks of himself, in regard to his past and present alike. thoughts are locked away, left solely for him to ruminate upon, and emotions are kept hidden, locked deep, deep within, if not attempted to be brushed away in their entirety. furthermore, he has a habit of leaving his comrades, his friends if you can quite call them that, in the dark when it comes to long-game plans and strategies that he has devised and it’s virtually impossible to get a straight or genuine answer from him upon asking a question, so most times it isn’t even worth the effort that it takes to form the words  ( not that this has ever stopped anyone from trying, much to their ultimate chagrin ).

and, finally, a basic character and personality breakdown,

name.  DAZAI OSAMU, 太宰治 age / d.o.b.  22 / JUNE 19 species.  HUMAN / GIFTED ethnicity.  JAPANESE gender.  CIS-MALE, HE / HIM occupation.  DETECTIVE / PORT MAFIA EXECUTIVE  ( FORMER ) affiliation.  ARMED DETECTIVE AGENCY / PORT MAFIA  ( FORMER ) height.  181 CM / 5'11" weight.  67 KG / 147-148 LBS build.  SLIM, LONG-LIMBED hair color.  DEEP BROWN, ESPRESSO; MILD, NATURAL WAVES eye color.  RED-BROWN, CHESTNUT blood type.  AB r / o, s / o.  DEMIROMANTIC PANSEXUAL noticeable features.  WEARS BANDAGES THAT COVER THE LARGE MAJORITY OF HIS BODY  ( * explanation to be provided below );  ONLY HIS FACE, HANDS, AND FEET REMAIN UNCOVERED

ability.  NO LONGER HUMAN      **  his ability allows him to effectively nullify the abilities of others entirely upon contact, whether with the user themselves or a physical manifestation of their ability. he’s often referred to as an anti-ability user or anti-gifted. zodiac.  GEMINI religious belief(s).  ATHEIST mbti.  INTJ alignment.  CHAOTIC NEUTRAL temperament.  CHOLERIC mental health.  DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL IDEATION pos traits.  QUICK THINKER, SHARP, IMAGINATIVE, CLEVER, STRATEGIC, DECISIVE, SELF-CONFIDENT, INDEPENDENT, DETERMINED, OBSERVANT, PERCEPTIVE, CALM, COLLECTED, LOGICAL, OPEN-MINDED, QUICK LEARNER, ADAPTABLE, WELL-READ, A JACK OF ALL TRADES neg traits.  SECRETIVE, DETACHED, JUDGEMENTAL, ARROGANT, OVERLY DRAMATIC, UNPREDICTABLE, CONFUSING / DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND, CAN BE OVERLY ANALYTICAL, HAS DIFFICULTY WITH  ( AND LOATHES )  HIGHLY STRUCTURED ENVIRONMENTS, PRONE TO APATHY, PLAYS DIRTY, CAN BE CRUEL, FREQUENTLY INGENUINE neu traits.  WITTY, TEASING / JESTING, BLUNT, SOMEWHAT OF A FLIRT, PRONE TO SHIRKING CERTAIN RESPONSIBILITIES, HAS A HABIT OF EMBARRASSING OTHERS  ( VERY INTENTIONALLY )

he covers himself in bandages for two very specific reasons. the first being that his body is absolutely riddled with scars; while some were obtained during his port mafia days, equally as many were self-inflicted. the second, they serve as a sort of security blanket, providing him with an unconventional source of comfort.

he’s very well read. he enjoys novels of a wide variety, though he’s usually only seen reading books about suicide or death. he isn’t partial to poetry, however.

he isn’t a big eater whatsoever. he’s generally a one meal per day sort of person and doesn’t snack particularly often furthermore.

he listens to music fairly often during his free time  ( when he isn’t reading ).  while he doesn’t have much of a preference as far as genres are concerned, he does gravitate primarily toward music that he finds calming, more mellow, or relatable.

he’s highly skilled in the art of lock-picking. he could chalk it up to his time spent with the port mafia, but in truth it’s a talent he’s had since he was a kid.

he doesn’t have a drivers license. he’s never been especially concerned with getting himself one and doesn’t really find that he feels the need for one even now.

he dislikes fizzy and / or bubbly beverages. for the most part, he’s a tea or a coffee drinker, although he’s fine with water, too. also, whiskey. he loves a good whiskey.

he enjoys good company  ( although he finds that it’s rare to come by ),  good and meaningful conversation, summer storms, late night rain showers, autumn leaves, seafood, and fresh, clean scents.

he dislikes overly sweet foods, the sound of babies crying  ( and loud noises in general ),  dogs, hot weather, and boring, tedious, and / or repetitive work  ( such as paperwork, for example ).

he frequently smells of soap, laundry detergent, and cotton intermingled with a natural scent all his own; fresh, warm, and clean with a hint of musk.

[sartle-blog]

Art History of Santa Claus

  Of all the Christmas traditions this time of the year, Santa Claus is perhaps the most confounding, and definitely the rotundest. He’s a man wrapped in diverse rituals, and within a history as opaque as a cup of cocoa. Here's a look at the visual history of Santa Claus, tracing his history from early depictions of Father Christmas in England to early American illustrations before arriving at the big fat elf clad in red we know today. Let’s jump down the research rabbit hole -- er, chimney -- and get to the bottom of this. And no, Santa Claus wasn't invented by Coca-Cola.

  The visual history of Santa Claus may begin in 17th century England where there was a cultural battle over Christmas. The Puritans, a protestant group who wanted to cleanse Christianity of its Catholic traditions, vehemently opposed the celebration of Christmas, a ceremony they found pagan and ungodly. As a response, English writers personified the holiday for the first time as Father Christmas and put the character into plays where ol’ Father Christmas had to defend himself in front of a court. No, really. The illustrators for these books decided to make him lithe and saintly, quite like depictions of St. Nicholas, although the holiday had not yet subsumed the saint into its own celebrations.

  Father Christmas defending himself in Christmas, His Masque (he says ‘cheere’ instead of cheese, but still, who would turn down cheese?)

  Christmas struggled in America, too, due to large populations of Puritan immigrants, essentially the bedrock of early America. In fact, Christmas wasn’t really widely celebrated until the end of the Civil War. But this didn’t deter writers working in New York, formerly known as New Amsterdam, a Dutch colony. This detail is important, because the first writer to establish Santa Claus used the history of Dutch folk culture to lend credence to his creation, Santa Claus.

  Yeah, that’s right, I invented Santa Claus

  That’s Washington Irving who wrote Knickerbocker's History of New York, published in 1809. The book is a satirical history that almost single-handedly established Santa Claus as an American myth by presenting him as an already existing Dutch symbol (the book also sought to establish a mythic origin for the city of New York). Although there are no illustrations that accompany the book, it is rife with visual details that certainly influenced later artists: a mysterious man who uses a flying sleigh, smokes a pipe, and likes to place a finger beside his nose. These are all details that would be picked up by fellow New Yorker Clement Clarke Moore in his 1923 poem “A Visit from St. Nicholas,” more commonly known as “T’was the Night Before Christmas,” the poem that would codify the appearance of our modern Santa Claus.

  An illustration from an anonymous artist for a poem that predates “Night Before Christmas” and is the first known depiction of Santa Claus with reindeer and possibly the first with a red coat.

  Let’s jump back over the pond to look at the illustrations for Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol from 1843. The representation of the Ghost of Christmas Present, done by John Leech, is quite curious. The figure, who is youthful and muscular, wears a robe that is surprisingly similar to the robe that our modern Santa Claus wears, even though it is green like holly. Due to the immense success of this story, it is not out of question that this drawing significantly impacted the imagination of artists who would go on to define Santa Claus.

Hey Scrooge, check out my six pack!

  Enter the father of the American cartoon, Thomas Nast. He is the first American artist, although German born, to really play with the representation of Santa Claus, and was heavily influenced by Moore’s poem. He was also likely influenced by winter Germanic traditions in his understanding of how the portly elf looked.

  Populist Claus

  This was his first attempt at Santa Claus, and it was decidedly political. Santa Claus arrives on a Christmas furlough rather than Christmas eve, and his coat is spangled with stars and stripes. It continues the tradition of the reindeer driven sleigh, and may be the first to show his sleigh overstuffed with toys. Twenty years later, in 1882, Nast would draw the first image to be considered a definitive portrait of Santa.

That’s the good stuff!

  Here we can first see the visual tropes begin to emerge, especially against the image of St. Nicholas. Santa Claus is an outsized figure, and rather fat; he’s bearded, wears a thick fur suit, and carries toys for children. We might even see the influence of Leech with the placement of holly on top of the head and the thick fur coat.

  Important to note, although toned down from his earlier drawing, Santa represents the American identity with an armband featuring a US flag design. Nast would also use Santa Claus in a few of his drawings concerning the Civil War, like the Christmas furlough drawing seen above. Placing him into political contexts is a trend that would continue into the new century, and one which furthered the ties between Santa Claus and a national identity. Yet, here it must also be noted that Santa Claus was already being picked up by other cultures, like in Britain where Father Christmas was being supplanted by Santa Claus before the arrival of the 20th century. In fact, the first Christmas movie, Santa Claus, was produced in Britain in 1898 (however, Santa Claus in the film looks like the old versions of Father Christmas).

  Let’s bring the heavy mistletoe, Sergeant! (1918)

  This is a painting done by JC Leyendecker, who along with Norman Rockwell, defined the early modern representation of Santa Claus through their covers for the Saturday Evening Post. This painting is also significant in that it predates Coca-Cola’s use of Santa Claus as a marketing tool by at least two years.

  US Propaganda from 1918 -- is that Santa Claus and Uncle Sam?

That’s not to say that Coca-Cola did not have a role in shaping the portly gift-giver. Their first depictions actually took a lot of inspiration from Thomas Nast, and their later ads in the 30s, which are more distinctive and done by Haddon Sundblom, took inspiration from Moore’s "Night Before Christmas" poem. Sundblom used his friend, a retired salesman, as his model. His paintings were used by the company from 1931 to 1964, and funnily enough, are all kept in the company’s archives and occasionally make rounds to museums like the Louvre.

Coca-Cola Claus

  This image also establishes Santa Claus as a secular hero, something that was always there, but wasn’t exactly crystal clear. It also furthers Santa Claus’s connections to commercialism and capitalism, something that we may overemphasize today without considering his literary and visual history.

  This Japanese artist’s interpretation of Santa Claus from 1914  gives further credence to the idea that Coca-Cola had little involvement with the visual development of Santa Claus

  Let’s talk about that literary history. So we know that Washington Irving planted the seed and Moore established the image of Santa Claus while artists like Nast and Rockwell pushed the iconography from those textual influences. All of this does not explain the precedent for Irving’s creation. Some scholars have suggested that the visual history that influenced Santa Claus might stem from Siberian Shamans, and others theorize that Santa Claus is a permutation of Yule, another name for Odin. Even others say that he is a corruption of St. Nicholas.

  Odin by Georg Van Rosen (1883)

The god was an ornament (of sorts) for the world tree instead of the Christmas tree

  What is clear, however, is that the Santa that we know today is the result of a pluralist American imagination (pluralist insofar as Dutch, German, English and other settlers combined their cultural histories into a new figure). He also presents a compelling narrative to the art historian in that his visual development is built upon literary references that jump back and forth around the Atlantic, and, perhaps, the globe. As we’ve seen, it is not the easiest story to put together. Still, the figure of Santa Claus has become such an established icon, that he has become a tool of appropriation by modern artists like Paul Mccarthy. What we are left with is that Santa Claus is an American tradition, an American myth.

  Know of a moment in Santa Claus’s visual history that we missed? Let us know in the comments below.

  The Sartle team looking out for all of your lovely comments

 By: Matt Marcure

[expressandadmirable]

Heroes

Aviva offered a thin, sleepless smile as Halei returned to their quarters, her bare feet soundless against the rich carpet. Elerian followed close behind her, pale green robes drawn somewhat haphazardly about his shoulders. Where the Drow’s expression was one of cautious confusion, the High Elf showed outright concern, roused as he had been from reverie in the grey light of early dawn. “Thank you, sunshine,” Aviva murmured. “Good morning, elrandir.” Her sun and her star-wanderer, who made her heart whole. Sitting primly on the sofa, hands clasped in her lap, she shifted slightly to make space at either side and waited for the Elves to join her.

“Ci maer, Aviva?” Are you well? Sinking onto the sofa and resting a hand on the Tiefling’s knee, Elerian searched her face for the cause of his summoning. No longer possessed of the gift of foresight granted him by the cycle, the Seer could divine little from the nervous uncertainty in her eyes. Rather than sit at her other side, Halei remained standing, folding her arms and frowning at the floor as she resisted the urge to pace. All the Elves knew for certain was that Aviva had been ill for several days, and early-morning conversations rarely contained good news.

Realising her wife was not of a mind to sit, Aviva clucked her tongue and reached upward, slipping her fingers beneath Halei’s crossed arms and finding the hidden hand. Her other hand covered Elerian’s, her expression softening into a somewhat more reassuring smile. “I’m alright, I think. I’m sorry for the urgency, I just wanted to speak with you both as soon as possible. I, ah…” She looked from one Elf to the other, her gaze finally settling on the carpet at her feet as she took a deep breath. No sense in beating about the bush. “I’m pregnant.”

Elerian started, meeting Halei’s wide eyes over Aviva’s head before focusing on the Tiefling. The smile that spread across his face vanished as quickly as it appeared, worry drawing taut lines across his boyish features. “Aviva… You bring us joyous tidings. Why do you speak with such unease? What troubles you?”

“You’re worried about us, aren’t you?” asked Halei softly.

Aviva opened her mouth to answer the High Elf, looked up at the Drow in surprise, then huffed a bemused laugh and tugged at her to sit. “You know me too well.” Halei snorted but obliged the pull, settling on the sofa and sliding an arm around Aviva’s waist. The Tiefling continued, her words slow and measured: “We’ve already had all the talks about my lifespan versus yours. Even if I choose to come ‘round again after Aviva Lux is gone, I’ll still be someone new. This version of me will only be here so long. We’ve all of us, I think, come to terms with that.” She swallowed hard, her forced calm slipping. “But a child is different. Having a child with me means you won’t just watch me die -- you’ll watch them die, and their children, and their children’s children. Having me as a mother shortens all of their lives.” Lifting Elerian’s hand from her knee, she placed it atop Halei’s against her belly and covered them with both of hers. “Are either of you ready to go through that?”

For a few contemplative moments, no-one spoke. Elerian frowned at the hands on Aviva’s belly as he gathered his thoughts; Halei rested her forehead against the Tiefling’s shoulder and exhaled slowly. Finally, Elerian lifted his head. “If I may,” he began, pausing as both women met his eyes, “while your ability to put others’ needs before your own has always been admirable, I think I speak for both Haluei’en and myself when I ask: what do you want?”

“We’ve all lost so much in this life,” Aviva protested, her shoulders falling slightly. “I don’t want to give you another thing to lose. My people’s lives are so brief compared to yours. It’s-- It’s like Wilhelm said once: we tend to look older when you look away for too long. Even having Elven blood will only do so much. You are going to watch your child die. Is that little time going to be worth it?”

“That’s not what he asked,” Halei chided gently, the smallest smile playing at her lips. “You’re tangling yourself up in the future again. We can get to that later. Right here, now, in this moment of this life: what do you want?”

Aviva opened her mouth, closed it again. She looked over her shoulder at Halei, back to Elerian, silently pleading for direction, but her loves simply waited. Gods damn them, did they not see the heartache that would befall them? The loss, the pain? Her throat tight, she let her gaze drop to the collection of hands on her belly, pale and crimson and slate-grey. Her family. She knew there was only one answer.

“I want to have this baby,” she whispered.

A sharp exhale, almost a laugh, escaped from one of the Elves, and when Aviva looked up, Elerian was beaming. “I would be remiss if I said I’d never given thought to this day. To have a child… For my part, at least, it has been ever a source of joyful anticipation.” He tucked a lock of errant blond hair behind his ear and stretched his free arm along the back of the sofa, not moving his hand from Aviva’s belly. “We are Elves. Even the most withdrawn of our kind will eventually find themselves caring for those with shorter lives than ours. It is simply the way of things. We must all, at one point or another, make our peace with the inevitability of watching those people grow old and pass on. Have you not done the same for Grummer?”

“Grummer was old when we met--” Aviva started, but a look from Elerian quieted her. She knew that look; it was one that both her Elves had perfected. The ‘Aviva, you’re talking yourself into a worry spiral’ look. She huffed in frustration. “Won’t it be different?” she tried instead. “When it’s your own child?”

Elerian shrugged. “Perhaps. In fact, I daresay it will be quite different. It is never a simple thing to lose someone we love. But for my part, I’m more than willing to take that risk.” His smile returned. “It would be my honour.”

Aviva returned the smile in spite of herself. He had, as always, managed to balance that most inexplicable mixture of aged wisdom and youthful candor. But he was not the love she had held in their time of mourning; who would, in some ways, always bear the scars of the events that had led them to their shared destiny nearly a decade prior. Releasing the hands on her belly, Aviva leaned back into the sofa cushions to see both Elves more clearly. “Halei,” she addressed her wife, taking the same even tone as before. “My Sol. Our first night together, you said you had never thought about children. That it had never been your role to do so. That you likely could have, if you’d wanted, but you never had the time.”

Halei let out a puff of air. “Yeah, that sounds like me.” A wry smile. “Well remembered. It was a good night.”

It was a good night, and Aviva allowed herself a small smile at the memory before pursing her lips. “Now’s the time, my love.” She held the Drow’s ice blue gaze, her voice barely above a whisper. “You’ve never been anything but honest with me. I need that honesty now, because I’m not going to do this without you. Knowing everything that will come, the generations of heartache and goodbyes… Do you want to be a mother?”

Though she did not look away, Halei was silent for some time. She brushed her fingers along Aviva’s jaw as she considered her answer, a gesture that had remained unchanged since the first time they touched. Finally, she sighed again. “I’m scared. Of course I'm scared. You're not wrong about anything, and we'd be idiots not to acknowledge that. There will be pain someday.” She smirked. “But you know me: I've never been one to think too far beyond the here and now.” Her smirk became a lopsided yet genuine smile. “We’ll face the future as it comes. If you’ve taught me anything, it's that to have lost more than most means you’ve loved more than most. That love seems pretty worthwhile to me.” The smile spread into a full-fledged grin. “And fool on you for thinking either of us would ever look away for too long.”

Releasing something between a sniffle and a laugh, Aviva took Halei’s face in both hands and kissed her. “Fool on me indeed.” The knot in the pit of her stomach began to ease, the fear in her heart replaced by elation. Wiping away the tears that threatened the corners of her eyes, she turned to Elerian and drew him into a kiss of his own. “Okay.” She nodded, breaking into a grin. “Okay!” Letting her body relax forward, she dropped her head into her hands, expelling the last of her nervous tension in one great breath. “Okay.”

Elerian glanced at Haluei’en, his expression a silent question. The Drow nodded, the lines around her eyes creasing as she smiled. Yes, she meant every word. Yes, she was ready. Yes.

Sitting up again only to slouch comfortably low on the sofa, Aviva laced her fingers over her belly, suddenly itching to dive into the details of what was to come. “Will we have to make some sort of royal proclamation?” she asked, peering up at Elerian. “Because if we announce anything to your nation before telling my mother, she may never forgive me.”

The High Elf laughed lightly. “Eventually, yes, but it needn’t be soon. We have plenty of time for private notifications. I shall need to speak with my spouses, and eventually make a formal statement to my advisors. Any public declaration will wait until we’ve had the chance to spread the news to friends and loved ones.”

“Morgan’s going to flip,” Aviva chuckled.

“I expect the same of Astos.” Leaning in conspiratorially, Elerian dropped his voice. “He would be loathe to admit it, but he has a rather significant soft spot for children.”

Both women snorted. “You say that like it’s supposed to be a secret.” Aviva shook her head. “I’ve seen your husband around children, elrandir; he turns into a complete mama bear.” A pause, then a small shrug. “Maybe seeing the leader of the Wood Elves doting on the Prince of Aelfheim’s baby will help bring you one step closer to peace.” She pressed her palms more firmly against her belly; she had, for the most part, become accustomed to being seen as a living symbol for the peoples of the world, but she wondered how that life would affect the child.

“Is this baby going to be in the line of succession?” asked Halei next, propping her elbow on the back of the sofa and resting her cheek on her hand. “Do surface Elves have a line of succession?”

“Mmm…” Elerian tilted his head from side to side. “Not as such. Succession is not quite as simple as ‘child of the current monarch’. When it comes time to choose an heir, I will do so, and train them as necessary. It could be that this child is the most likely candidate; should that be so, it would be up to the three of us to determine, as parents, if we want the child to assume that responsibility, then to the child themselves to determine if they are capable. More concisely: possibly, but not for a while yet.”

Aviva mulled over the Seer’s words. “That seems nicer, I think. Doesn't put all the weight on her immediately. She’ll get a bit of a normal childhood, or at least as normal as we can give her.”

“She?” Halei raised a brow.

“I dunno,” Aviva shrugged, “feels like a she. I mean, once they’re born they can be whatever they want, but for now she feels like a she.”

“A little moon,” Elerian smiled. “A reflection of you.”

“Well, I mean, she’s going to be a reflection of all three of us,” Aviva demurred, but the flush of excitement across her cheeks belied her protest.

“Better be.” Halei smirked. “If you think I’m not teaching that kid everything I know about getting into trouble, you’re sorely mistaken. She’ll be bar fighting before she can walk.”

“Halei no!” Aviva giggled, covering her face with her hands to block out the very thought.

“Halei yes,” Elerian replied immediately. While the two Elves had never shared any romantic inclinations, their mutual affection for the Tiefling between them had transformed their professional relationship into a deep, often mischievous friendship. “I imagine it falls to me to teach her proper etiquette. Can’t have her following too closely in your reprobate footsteps.”

Halei scoffed. “Please. I am a servant of the divine. Like you’ve never played a prank at a formal function.”

“I would never!” Elerian retorted, putting a hand to his chest in mock offense, but his expression quickly turned sheepish. “The last time I tried, Celestine read me the riot act.”

“Wives are good for that.” Halei winked at Aviva, who gave her a playful scowl in return. Then a wave of nausea turned her stomach and she curled in on herself, groaning pitifully.

“Gods, please, deliver me from morning sickness!”

Elerian offered a sympathetic laugh. “Is there nought we can provide for you?”

“No.” Aviva shook her head miserably. “It’ll pass in a few weeks. Then I’ll just progressively take up more space and need to pee all the time.” She sighed dramatically, imagining the changes in store for her body. Out loud, somewhat to herself: “It’s a good thing I didn't get my nipples pierced when I was drunk with Morgan in Corneria last year.”

“You were going to get your nipples pierced?” Halei sounded intrigued, and more than a little disappointed it had not come to pass.

“For an inebriated minute. Ship’s sailed on that now.” Aviva counted off the forbidden items on her fingers. “Also on the list of don’ts: don’t drink, don’t smoke, probably shouldn't get tattooed. No sushi, black tea, hot baths, flying, sleeping on my back, heavy lifting, cured meats, soft cheeses, cannabis, stress in any form, or basically anything fun or taxing.” A pause. “I did some research. Oh, and no oral sex.”

Elerian blinked in sharp surprise. “Excuse me?”

Aviva grinned. It was not often the Seer was caught completely off-guard, but she tended to be the cause more frequently than most. “You heard me. Evidently, getting air up there can be fatal. Best to avoid it altogether.”

“She’s right,” Halei added helpfully.

Coughing politely, Elerian gave a curt nod. “Good to know.”

“What I’m hearing is, now that you’re pregnant, you’re suddenly made of glass.” Halei’s ever-present smirk was playful. “Means it’s up to us to stop you running off and being a menace to yourself. Really, we should be grateful. You’ve given us a right good excuse to duck out of boring commitments.”

“I have never wanted anything more,” Aviva answered dryly, but her smile was far too broad for mockery. “By all means, use it as much as you like. I certainly will. ‘Can’t deal with your bullshit today, I am simply too fuckin’ pregnant! Got to roll myself on home now, fuckity bye!’”

Soft laughter surrounded her, bright and beautiful as the warmth of a hearth. As it faded, she reached for the Drow’s hand, then for the High Elf’s, looking them each in the eye before speaking. “This is… not a chance I thought I’d ever have again. I’m not even sure I would have wanted the chance, but now that it’s here, I… I can’t imagine not taking it. In this life, with you, it feels… right.”

“Too many lifetimes cut off too soon,” Halei murmured, broadening the meaning of Aviva’s words. In all the cycles they had spent together, they had never once lived long enough for children, though many incarnations had wanted them. Then the Drow smiled. “If I recall our first night correctly, I also said there would be a lot of your life left to decide again. So here’s to that.”

“Here’s to that,” Elerian echoed.

“Here’s to that.” Aviva spread her loves’ fingers against her belly, still soft and unobtrusive for the time being, and looked again at the strange rainbow of colour. For the first time since she had started to suspect there was life forming inside her, she was not afraid. What had been a source of uncertainty and dread had, all of a sudden, become the start of the next great adventure. There would be pain for them someday. There would be loss. But between now and then there would be so, so much love.

“I’m going to have a baby.” Her sunshine, her starlight, and now her little moon. She laughed. “We’re going to have a baby!”

[newstfionline]

The Secrets of Resilience

By Meg Jay, WSJ, Nov. 10, 2017

Does early hardship in life keep children from becoming successful adults? It’s an urgent question for parents and educators, who worry that children growing up in difficult circumstances will fail to reach their full potential, or worse, sink into despair and dysfunction.

Social scientists have shown that these risks are real, but they also have found a surprising pattern among those whose early lives included tough times: Many draw strength from hardship and see their struggle against it as one of the keys to their later success. A wide range of studies over the past few decades has shed light on how such people overcome life’s adversities--and how we might all cultivate resilience as well.

In 1962, the psychologist Victor Goertzel and his wife, Mildred, published a book called “Cradles of Eminence: A Provocative Study of the Childhoods of Over 400 Famous Twentieth-Century Men and Women.” They selected individuals who had had at least two biographies written about them and who had made a positive contribution to society. Their subjects ranged from Louis Armstrong, Frida Kahlo and Marie Curie to Eleanor Roosevelt, Henry Ford and John D. Rockefeller.

The Goertzels found that less than 15% of their famous men and women had been raised in supportive, untroubled homes, with another 10% in a mixed setting. Of the 400, a full 75%--some 300 individuals--had grown up in a family burdened by a severe problem: poverty, abuse, absent parents, alcoholism, serious illness or some other misfortune. “The ‘normal man,’ “ the Goertzels wrote, “is not a likely candidate for the Hall of Fame.”

If the Goertzels were to repeat their study today, they would find many more examples of women and men who rose to great heights after difficult childhoods--Oprah Winfrey, Howard Schultz, LeBron James and Sonia Sotomayor, to name just a few. Today, we often use the word “resilient” to describe such people.

But resilient people are everywhere, not just in the ranks of celebrities. They are ordinary women and men, in every walk of life, who meet the definition of resilience set forth by American Psychological Association: “adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress.”

Across nearly two decades as a clinical psychologist and an educator, I have worked with many accomplished people who grew up in difficult circumstances. One thing I have learned from them is that the way we tend to talk about resilience is too simplistic. In everyday conversation, we say that people who are resilient “bounce back” or “rebound.” The dictionary defines resilience as elasticity, that is, the ability to recover quickly and easily--to snap into shape again, like a rubber band stretched and released.

These images are fine for describing recovery from short-term problems, like the flu or a career disappointment, but they don’t capture how resilience truly works and feels. The most common childhood adversities aren’t one-time events but chronic sources of stress: bullying, neglect, physical or sexual abuse, the death of a parent or sibling, addiction or mental illness in the home, domestic violence.

Such problems are recurring threats to a child or teen’s safety and well-being. Resilient youth do not just rebound from them. What they do is much more complicated and courageous. For them, resilience is an ongoing battle, a way of approaching life, not a restorative bounce.

Physiology plays an important role. In the face of danger, our bodies respond with fight-or-flight. The brain triggers the release of stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. Our heart rate increases, we become more alert and focused, and blood flows to our muscles for extra energy. When we think of the fight in fight-or-flight, we may imagine physically harming someone. But in the modern world, fighting back can take many forms.

Consider the Kauai Longitudinal Study, an ongoing project begun in 1955 by psychologists Emmy Werner and Ruth Smith, and summarized most recently in their 2001 book “Journeys From Childhood to Midlife.” The Kauai Study’s subjects are the 698 babies born on the island that year, with assessments so far at ages 1, 2, 10, 18, 32 and 40.

Of the children in the study, Drs. Werner and Smith identified 129 as being at high risk for future problems, because they faced four or more adversities at birth, ranging from poverty and family discord to alcoholism or mental illness in the home.

Two-thirds of these high-risk children went on to have difficulties of their own, such as delinquency, unplanned pregnancies and underemployment. One-third, however, fared well. At school and at work, they did as well as, or better than, their low-risk peers from more affluent, stable homes. In adulthood, they found supportive partners and built loving families that, often, differed greatly from the ones they grew up with. They became, as Drs. Werner and Smith described, “competent, confident, caring adults.” How did they do it?

They were active problem solvers who, over a period of decades, fought for better lives for themselves. Though they weren’t necessarily gifted, they used whatever strengths they had to their advantage--a particular talent, an engaging personality, a ready intelligence. They sought out friends, teachers, neighbors or relatives who cared. They made plans to better themselves and set ambitious but realistic goals for the future. In early adulthood, they seized opportunities to move forward in life, by way of higher education, the military, a new job, a supportive partner or parenthood.

When the researchers asked these resilient adults how they understood their own success in retrospect, the majority reported that their most important asset was determination.

“I am a fighter--I am determined--I will survive,” said one woman who made her way out of an abusive childhood. “I give it 100% before I give up. I will never lose hope.”

“When things have to be done, you just do it. I am not the type of person to run away--no matter how difficult the problem,” said another subject who became a bookkeeper.

And another who became aerospace engineer put it this way: “I don’t let problems take control. I just pick myself up and start all over--you can always try again.”

Other research has suggested the importance of the fighter within. In a 2010 paper in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, Anke Ehlers of the University of Oxford reported on 81 adults who had formerly been held as political prisoners in East Germany. They had been subjected to mental and physical abuse, including beatings, threats and being kept in the dark. Decades after their release, about two-thirds of the former prisoners had, at some point, met criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), while about one-third of the prisoners had not.

What made some more likely to suffer from PTSD? Dr. Ehlers found that the extent to which prisoners had fought back in their own minds made a bigger difference than the severity of the abuse they had suffered. Those who felt mentally defeated--who felt like they were “nothing” or who quit caring what became of them--were more likely to report symptoms of PTSD later. By contrast, prisoners who had resisted from within--even if they appeared to have given up on the outside, by complying with guards or signing false confessions--fared better down the line.

This sort of inner defiance is, in part, how one man--an officer in the military who came to me for a consultation--told me he survived years of bullying as a child and teen: “I refused to accept what they said about me was true.”

Of course, there is enormous variability in terms of how individuals respond to adversity. Social scientists rightly argue that resilience isn’t a single quality that someone does or doesn’t have, or a single action that a person does or doesn’t take, but rather it is a phenomenon--something we can see but may never be able to neatly explain.

A minister once shared a parable with me that neatly captures this point: Two brothers are raised in a home in which the father is a violent alcoholic. One brother grows up to be a drinker and an abuser, while the other becomes an abstinent man and a model parent. When asked how they came to be who they were, both brothers gave the same answer: “Given who my father was, how could I not?”

My aim here is not to say that resilient people are winners--or that those who are suffering have allowed themselves to be defeated--but, rather, to say that overcoming childhood adversity is a phenomenal struggle indeed. It is a heroic, powerful, perilous, often decadeslong endeavor, yet one that, over time, can lead to both ordinary and extraordinary success.

Back in 1962, the Goertzels’ finding that so many prominent people had grown up with hard times may have seemed counterintuitive but, given what we now know about stress and coping, it isn’t so surprising. Coping with stress is a lot like exercise: We become stronger with practice. University of Nebraska psychologist Richard Dienstbier explains how this works with his “toughness model,” first published in 1989 in the journal Psychological Review.

Dr. Dienstbier gathered evidence from a wide range of human and animal studies demonstrating that exposure to intermittent stressors, such as cold temperatures and aerobic exercise, made individuals physiologically “tougher.” They became less overwhelmed by subsequent difficulties, and by their own fight-or-flight arousal. This makes a difference because when a stressor seems manageable, we perceive it as a challenge, and adrenaline--which boosts energy, focus and coping--is released. When a stressor seems unmanageable, however, we perceive it as a threat and our cortisol levels rise too, suppressing our immune system and making us more vulnerable to disease.

What’s more, Dr. Dienstbier wrote, toughened individuals increasingly seek out experiences that stimulate them and provide opportunities for more mastery and success. It is a virtuous circle.

Although I would hardly consider childhood adversities to be desirable difficulties, many who grow up with hardship do say they benefit in precisely this way. The military officer who was bullied in his youth--and who, besides resisting on the inside, also toughened himself up as a teen through running and judo--described the impact that early adversity had on this life this way: “I see myself as stronger and more capable than most people around me because of the treatment I lived through. I see myself as an optimist, not because I think bad things don’t or won’t happen but because I believe I can overcome whatever comes my way. I feel independent and confident. I feel tested. I feel brave.”

Poet Dylan Thomas said, “There’s only one thing that’s worse than having an unhappy childhood, and that’s having a too-happy childhood.” I don’t know if this is true, but I do know that too many women and men feel lesser somehow because of the adversities they have grown up with, imagining they would be happier or more successful people if they had enjoyed stress-free upbringings. This isn’t necessarily the case.

In a multiyear study of more than 2,000 adults aged 18 to 101, published in 2010 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, University at Buffalo psychologist Mark Seery and colleagues found that those who had known some adversity were both higher-functioning and more satisfied with their lives than those who had experienced extremely high levels of hardship--and compared with those who had experienced no adversity at all. They also coped better with more recent problems they encountered, leading the study’s authors to conclude, in partial agreement with Nietzsche, that “in moderation, whatever does not kill us may indeed make us stronger.”

So where does that leave those of us who would like to be more resilient? It helps to take on long-form projects that feel like challenges rather than threats. Whether taking up crew or judo, studying for an advanced degree or mastering an instrument, hard things that aren’t emotional or unexpected help us practice for those that are.

And when life inevitably becomes difficult, own the fighter within. Resist defeat in your own mind by a schoolyard bully or an alcoholic parent. Fighting back on the inside is where battling back on the outside begins.

Reach out to family, friends or professionals who care. It is a myth that resilient people don’t need help. Seeking support is what resilient people do.

Engage in active coping. Most serious adversities are neither quickly nor easily solved, but taking control where we can is empowering. Make a realistic plan to improve your situation, and work toward it day by day. Progress shores us up and calms us down.

Finally, remember the ways you have been courageous and strong. Too often we remember what has gone wrong in life rather than what we did to survive and thrive. Think back on a time when you were challenged and give yourself credit for how you made it through. You may already be more resilient than you think.

[classicmusic]

New Yorker, issue 1: Henry Cowell’s “Ensemble” received an unkind New York welcome

I always find it interesting to look back at the first issue of various publications to see what was what at the beginning of the run. Perhaps unsurprisingly, writers can be very optimistic and see the publication in an auspicious light, whether or not the crystal ball was true on the course. (I say unsurprisingly because, well, think about the likelihood of a journal publishing doom and gloom in its first issue...)

Being a semi-regular reader of the The New Yorker, some time ago I took advantage of the access to their online archive that comes with a subscription to see what the magazine was like in its early days. It doesn’t exactly go without saying that the tone and general spirit has remained more or less the same (though compartmentalized) since issue no. 1, from February 21, 1925. The cover features Rey Irvin’s famous dandy, Eustace Tilley:

The image evokes an unambiguous sense of specific culture and highbrow-ism (the magazine eventually taking its place as middlebrow, par excellence), even a slight air of effeteness. The editors surely were not seriously unaware of that perception, and on the first page of prose (opposite the first printed page, an ad for Caron perfumes, similar to this) is the tongue-in-cheek proclamation:

On general principles, this magazine expects to take a firm stand against murder. But we don’t want to be bigoted. If, for instance, someone should ask you to advertise in The New Yorker, and throw out the hint that your refusal might lead to some unwelcome publicity, you wouldn’t shock us much if you poured him into the nearest drain.

Even today, New Yorker humor is notorious for this sort of *snort*-worthy pithiness, its “Tiny Shouts” section maintaining that too-clever voice to this day.

[Apparently the legal mailing status of the magazine had yet to be settled on the first press.]

This in mind, I looked for the first pages on music, and I can’t say I was terribly disappointed. The page is broken down into a series of “comings and goings” of New York musical life, none longer than a few paragraphs (again, not unlike sections of the magazine today, with its lists of events, reviews, and general commentaries on cultural life in the City). The first note is a short, somewhat critical review of Stravinsky’s Piano Concerto--played by the NYPhil and conducted by Willem Mengelberg--that heralds the “last of Stravinsky, propria persona” in New York before the composer left for the west. The third is an in-the-know recounting of the box office frenzy for tickets to a series of April concerts at Carnegie Hall by Fritz Kreisler, whose popularity seems to have reached a fever-pitch in the inter-war period, the New Yorker writer claiming that “Kreisler, by the way, is probably the only artist in the world who can sell out concert after concert without announcing in advance his program” in light of the immediate sell out to some 3,000 patrons who bought tickets by inquiring directly to the Heck Brothers, who managed the space.

[The New Yorker’s caricature of Kreisler from the first issue.]

The other three blurbs are slightly more amusing, if not interesting. A brief report on the British pianist Ethel Leginska discusses her failure to appear for a concert, the NYer writer speculating the cause to be a previous performance’s bad review written by a critic who likely would have attended this New York show. The highlight of the blurb here is the first sentence: 

Mme. Leginska, the evanescent pianist, has described her disappearance as a lapse of memory, and perhaps she who lapse last lapse best, for Leginska is as noted now as Mr. and Mrs. Jack Dempsey.

This might be the first--and certainly the punniest--time I’ve heard of a direct comparison between a pianist and a boxer!

A brief look at the tenor Edward Johnson extolls the virtues of his ability to sing in multiple languages, the singer being particularly famous in Italy for his performances of Wagner in Italian(!). But evidently such a performance choice was taboo in New York at the time: 

Johnson has sung Wagnerian roles in Italian only and polyglot performances are taboo at the Metropolitan, although unintentionally polyglot versions occasionally are heard. Probably the task of restudying the roles in German appalls the gifted tenor. And well it might!

Not exactly scathing, the review is at least tongue-in-cheek about the demands of a professional singer and the concessions made to them. This is sort of an interesting reverberation of the tradition of performing vocal works in the audience’s native language--rather than the language of composition--which had been in practice at least since the baroque era, something that is almost looked down upon anymore.

The last of these three more interesting reviews (it appears as the second item on the page) is a brief look at an International Composers’ Guild February 8 concert and is the one that piqued my interest most, not just for its sheer absurdity. The review focuses narrowly on only Henry Cowell’s 1924 work, Ensemble (performed at this concert in a revised and expanded version for ”a small [string] orchestra”), which was, suffice it to say, not terribly well-received by the author. They do note that aside from the unconventional thunder stick instruments the music is “conventional matter,” presumably a good thing. 

The highlight of the performance was a mishap:

The end of Mr. Cowell’s stick declined to be party to the affair, and flew off the handle, seeking refuge in the general direction of Lawrence Gilman. Now, if Mr. Cowell were to begin twirling pianos he probably could be certain of a sold-out house. Suggestion to live insurance company: Why not sell accident insurance with concert tickets?

I have to appreciate the pervasive sardonic tone of the whole of this page of music criticism, especially this bit of it that today stands as a rebuff to the (sometimes) over-seriousness and score-fetishism of much music criticism and its audience (you can practically hear the clutching of pearls if this had happened in Carnegie Hall today). 

Cowell was treading a line with critics of the day, as Olin Downes had a similar reaction to the event for the New York Times on February 9, 1925:

Mr. Cowell, it appears, has temporarily abandoned composing for the piano and fists and forearms and has written his “Ensemble,” heard last night, for three Indian thunder sticks and chamber orchestra. The thunder stick is a flat piece of wood attached to a string and whirled in the air by the performer. The effect is of whirring wind, mounting to a thunderous sonority, according to the rapidity of the movement. Three men whirled thunder sticks through the first movement of Mr. Cowell’s “Ensemble,” and it was hard work. One of them, after trying with first one hand and then two, gave it up and rested. Another whirled too vigorously and lost his grip. The thunder stick shot away from him, but it did not hit either the composer of the piece or a critic who listened, so that both lived to the end of the composition.

I’m not sure which critic didn’t recognize Cowell, but both seemed to find the situation humorous, regardless of who dropped the stick. Together, the two reviews offer a composite picture of the persons involved--it seems Cowell may have lost his stick and Lawrence Gilman was nearly hit by it. If it was Gilman who was almost hit, perhaps there is some poetic justice here, with this concert taking place at Aeolian Hall where, a year earlier, Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Blue premiered with the Paul Whiteman Orchestra, a work that Gilman panned as trite and feeble.

A well-covered event (Gilman was writing for the New York Herald Tribune by this time), what the New Yorker article fails and Downes succeeds to provide is an accurate picture of the power-house program that included Cowell’s piece. From Downes, we know that works by the following composers were performed: Acaria Cotapos, Bela Bartok, Massimo Zanotti-Bianco, Henry Cowell, Anton Webern, Richard Grant Still, Carlos Salzedo and Carlos Chavez. Of these, Downes had little positive to say about the actual music, complimenting mostly the performances, even going so far as to say:

One expects from what may be called certain exhausted European musical stocks, such as that represented by certain of the disciples of Arnold Schonberg [sic]--among them von Webern--music which shall be ultra-sophisticated, self-conscious, refined and re-refined until nothing vital or expressive of anything in the least important is left. But one regrets to see young North Americans turning out stuff which has little or none of the youth, the clear vision, the instinct for direct and honest self-expression which should be characteristic of rising composers of this country.

For his reputation and legacy, Downes didn’t mince words when it came to modernist music, preferring instead a more conservative ilk (”One of the best compositions was Bela Bartok’s sonatina for piano...”).

There is a lot more that could be drawn out of these reviews as instances in a fuller picture of the reception of modernist music at that time, Cowell and others inclusive, but I’ve rambled a bit further than intended already. The tone of The New Yorker’s writing has dialed back a bit since its first issue, though the image it laid out in its early days lingers between the covers. Nevertheless, there is a significant contrast between this and what you read from people like Alex Ross or (previously) Sasha Frere-Jones, which is, I think, interesting. (...which is not to imply that this is unique to the New Yorker...)

[intheuthanhbinh]

Korean language Girls Have Many Qualities

The Woods of Life and The Tree of Knowledge and Malignant mentioned in the Book of Genesis are actually referring to knowing what is awful from precisely what is wrong. I was confused, disappointed, and disappointed. They absolutely adore alcohol and party.

Green Peril, Stereotypes, Ads, And Hope For The near future

Dreams from an early age of the fairytale wedding ceremony regularly centre upon getting the ideally suited dress. Potentially then it was no surprise to anyone when some years later, I was again thrilled by the testimonies of adventure and ideals of patriotism a further man in uniform brought into my life. Nevertheless despite my personal initial fascination with the military, when a relationship license and a Budget Pick up truck found me personally halfway across the nation as a fresh bride of Uncle Sam, I used to be less than charmed. Also, my husband nonetheless looked just like handsome in his high and small and Gown Blues, and I was still feeling blissful regarding being a newlywed, however it did not take very long until Choice the Maritime Corps and I were just not going to go along.

I have simply no drawback stating this. Southern Korean women are probably a number of the most shallow persons I have referred to and satisfied. You would quite possibly assume that Americans can be extra obsessed with external magnificence and material Korean Girls prosperity since it’s the most richest nation. Koreans usually takes the American shallowness (is that a term? ) to a new degree. We am talking primarily about Koreans FROM South Korea who have grew up in South Korea. Sure I just am generalizing, NOT ALL SOUTHERN KOREAN WOMEN OF ALL AGES ARE LIKE THIS KIND OF.

When applying, you need to write information about your self, some standards that would express you as a person. Korean girls as well furnish information about themselves before enrollment. But in addition for this, they pass a emotional test, which will show the genuine intentions with the girls and also provide identification documents. So Korean language mail-order brides’ profiles happen to be real.

Simple https://findmailorderbride.com/korean-brides/ and shiny scalp. Sizzling hot Southern Korean terminology girls connect a great time period for your frizzy hair. It must have a look best. Curiously, hair that is naturally ugly is not considered gorgeous, but curls which might be designed are among the list of nice advantages of Korean magnificence. Small facial region and little head, unneeded round serenidad, V-shaped, brief, nevertheless scarcely aimed chin is normally standard Korean check.

I love this webpage. We beleive it assists a lot of people in needs around the world. I was an cookware single female. Currently dating an igbo man in my house land. He persue his master level in my country. He is hitched and got partner back home. This individual proposed myself to marry him. Sad to say his wife cannot provided birth as a result of age factors. We have meet up with once and stay having lots of fun mutually. In fact you’re both completely happy in a way that we cheerish the other person so well. We have come to a conclusion that something should be done. With both party contract. I was a lady and i also can simply understand his partner feelings as good. I dont like to be treated this sort of and i dont beleive in divorcee also. I are willing to end up being the second better half, whom are living in foreign land and be having my family ere, i can simply visit his homeland regularly. And i beleive i can have the ability to take it that way. I really like him and still have faith inside our relationship. Please guys i just need some type here. Could god assist.

Part two Biblical Origin Of Far east People

Couples in the United States think of white wedding dresses as “traditional, ” but the white wedding dress is actually a fairly recent personalized. There are also great Filipina women who know their families are taking advantage of her (their daughter) married into a “rich” American (the common mindset there may be that we’re all rich) yet she will be sure to let them do so because she has recently been engrained as birth to feel responsible to her main if your woman doesn’t support support these people at anything level they tell her is appropriate. We have a friend with that difficulty and the woman just can’t let herself find that her mom is a greedy bitch getting back together stories to get additional money delivered to her to get wasting and Papa’s and brother’s alcoholic beverages – perhaps even use the same lame report more than once. Our friend and her man argue regarding it regularly yet he delivers a reasonable amount and will not send precisely what is requested because he understands what’s going on. Your sweetheart cries a whole lot because of getting torn among allegiance to them and also to her partner.

For a solitary factor, females are actually great at Englishand additionally allowing them match along witheveryone. Pretty Korean language girls consider that if you wish to always keep a members of the family you should listen to guys and because of this they very commonly compromise. If you respect and adore your spouse, she will undoubtedly turn out to be your best wife also, you will favorably never ever would want to depart her.

They blazed through a 114-page basics-of-Korea book. Nguyen explained so why young people should sit in priority seating on the Seoul subway. She told them that new Korean language mothers take in seaweed soup, high in nutrients. And the girl said Korean language wives generally, always condicion on their granparents.

They have limited schedules. It’s the WORST place for women to work (in comparison to first-world countries), and if you reside in this region, your Korean language bride probably will spend 52 hours every week on function (which is far more than 20 hours a day). Certainly feel depressed at times, and you’ll have to deal with it.

Korean language brides are not slaves, nor could they be the women that will want being leaders inside your family. Korean women will be in the middle, making them very interesting and mystical for men by various other countries. Unusual not only in appearance but likewise in other features make them unique brides.

Is he intelligent? If yes, as to what level because sometimes it things. Even if I are not looking to mean that non-educated people are not-marriageable, of course I will be a liar to state that because many extremely educated couples today will be filing with regards to divorce upon daily basis all over the world.

Chinese suppliers has the major varieties of racial types on the globe. You can find Black and Negroid type of races within China and tiawan coexisting with the dominant Mongoloid people. In the beginning ancient China and tiawan was a burning pot of diverse competitions migrated from outside. This is the reason early Oriental people referred to as their area “Middle Kingdom”, the center land of the world.

Russian wedding ceremonies entail extensive pre-planning and preparations. Several exchanges are very essential the purpose of the Korean thoughts marriage: items of home products (Honsu); positions of outfits and jewelry regarding the marriage ceremony couple (Yemul); items directed at the significant relatives when using the soon-to-be partner (Yedan); gifts of money over the groom’s family and others affiliate to the star within the marriage (Ggoomimbi), and through the bride’s label the groom’s close friends (Ham); and exchanges of food products and wine beverages relating to the two family members (Ibaji).

Traditions require kids to expand up in a great atmosphere of love and patience. Consequently , Korean spouses are stressed about rearing children and creating a good family atmosphere. Demonstrate the qualities of an future supportive and care father and stay sure that this will substantially increase your likelihood of being well-liked by a Korean male order bride.

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Courting Korean Females

For a traditional bride who desires an Oriental wedding dress it can be a daunting process to find 1; you may have to order online and then find a seamstress to finish that to your personal specifications. But you, Mr. Delancey, have no clue about these stuff of the spiritual side of life mainly because you are far outside the kingdom of Goodness – stuffed with bitterness and hatred in case you have happiness and success is obviously. And every period you write a pile of crap as if you posted in this article to damage people, you take yourself one more step away from that kingdom.

A year before her entry in to Korean governmental policies, Yi Jasŭmin played the role of the Filipina mother of a biracial youth in the film Wandǔgi (2011, euch. Yi Han), based on a bestselling story with the same title by simply Kim Ryŏryŏng. In the film, a young ones named Wandǔgi is overdue and seems to have no potentials for his life. Wandǔgi, his humpbacked father, great adopted uncle, who has a developmental handicap, live in a poverty-stricken area inhabited by many migrant individuals from Southeast Asia and South Asia. Wandǔgi does not have any memory of his Filipina mother as she remaining him if he was still an infant. The disappearance of Wandǔgi’s mother is due to his dad’s decision to “let her go” because he could not tolerate the discrimination his better half faced. Wandǔgi, however , has the capacity to meet her through his teacher’s help. After spending some difficult time going to terms with her quick re-appearance, Wandǔgi and his family members decide to live together again.

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Regrettably, most of the aforementioned class of Nigerians would rather prefer to go back home to check out a wife, you know how come? Because the cultural and traditional ideals are different, better and as such, facilitates marriage better. For instance, when a typical Nigerian couple is certainly going through relationship crises, they would frequently hardly ever throw in the towel like it is generally done in the western countries. Remember, marriage in Nigeria can be described as union of two families- the mans and the women’s family, and therefore the households would step in in cases where things are getting out of hand they usually would perform whatever they can to settle the matter amicably within the family level. Nigerians typically, have undeniable respect for his or her parents and would hear and pay attention to them at any point in time.

There are a few of my brother’s friends which are single, never been wedded before, which were born in the uk, grew up in the uk but yet these men ended up exploring back home to watch out for wives and yes certainly, they hitched these Nigerian women being a first option and these types of Nigerian females are well lifted. And right now there husbands helped bring them back to England, not like most Nigeria men which will marry a Nigerian females and keep them back home like a second option just in case the bright white wives disappoints them. Thank you JESUS that any of us still have black men that wont have at this time there own girls as a second option.

Tham khảo bài viết gốc tại: Korean language Girls Have Many Qualities

source https://intheuthanhbinh.com/korean-language-girls-have-many-qualities/

[rodrigohyde]

Can a KonMari Closet Refresh Really Bring You Joy?

How to Use the KonMari Method to Refresh Your Closet

It’s the new year, which means it’s a great time to purge our wardrobes and get a fresh start on style. We know it’s not easy, so to get started, we’ve taken inspiration from decluttering and organizing authority Marie Kondo, a Tokyo-based consultant who developed her now-famous KonMari Method of organizing. That led her to write the international best-seller “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” and then “Spark Joy,” an illustrated guide to her method. The books led to the launch of Kondo’s recently debuted Netflix series, Tidying Up With Marie Kondo.

She begins the tidying process in the closet by dumping every item of clothing you own into one massive pile. You then sort through each and every piece to figure out if it “sparks joy” for you. If it does, keep it. If it doesn’t, thank it for its service and discard it. The practice is really pretty simple.

RELATED: 28 Executives Share Their Best Career Advice for 2019

Her Netflix show is also great for real-life case studies to serve as inspiration. In episode one, “Tidying With Toddlers,” the Friend family (yes, that’s their name) gets an all-in education on tidying, including lessons on folding and proper storage. An added bonus is that you probably won’t feel so badly about those arguments you get into with your significant other about a messy home when you see you’re far from alone.

Get Started With Your Own Marie Kondo

Since getting Kondo to your home may be a long shot, consider hiring a local decluttering expert. We spoke to New York-based Certified Gold KonMari consultant Patty Morrissey about her suggestions on where to start. (KonMari consultants are required to read both of Kondo’s books, provide photographic evidence that they have tidied their own homes using the method, and attend certification seminars. The certification levels are based on both the clients’ work with and sessions completed.)

“The first thing to understand is what you love and what you don’t love,” says Morrissey, who has completed more than 200 tidying sessions with 20-plus clients. “Second ... is to understand how you want to show up in the world. What brings you joy?” She says pajama pants sparked joy for one of her male clients, “but clearly that was a ‘no’ for his everyday wardrobe.”

Morrissey suggests creating a role for yourself, and then keeping or buying the clothes that fit within that role. “We eventually settled on what the client described as ‘Euro Dad’ style (his words, not mine),” she explained of her pajama-pant fan. Morrissey emphasized that she’s not a fashion consultant, but she did end up helping this client craft a nice, minimalist style for himself. Before working with her, he had so many clothes that he was even storing them in his kids’ closets. After the project was done, his wardrobe fit nicely in his own bedroom.

RELATED: 10 Productivity Books All Guys Need to Read (Even You)

“Men tend to go through the process faster than women,” observes Morrissey. “They make decisions faster, and like to have a ‘go-to’ uniform. Men are also very visual and like to have all their clothing spread out before them where it can be easily viewed.” This works beautifully with the KonMari method, especially when it’s time to put things away.

Following the purge, Kondo recommends folding every single piece of clothing, thereby transmitting a certain energy into them. When they are neatly folded using the particular KonMari folding method and placed standing up in a drawer, it’s easy to see exactly what you have, and to pull exactly what you want. She does allow for some clothes to be hung: coats, suits, jackets, and “any clothes that look like they would be happier hung up.” Morrissey allows her clients a little more latitude with hangers if that makes them more joyful and therefore more likely to adhere to the new way of living. One even chose to hang his sweatpants so he could see them more easily.

The fact of the matter is, a lot of guys have a graphic T-shirt, hoodie, or something specific to them that they keep for sentimental reasons. Morrissey points out a lot of men get more sentimental about the purging and tidying process than they expect to be: “‘This T-shirt is from my first concert or from that awesome road trip.’ If it’s something you don’t or can’t wear, but really can’t part with, it belongs somewhere else … not in your closet.” She suggests using a service like Project Repat to create a keepsake item that’s useful, too.

About Those Staple Items ...

Morrissey advises purging your wardrobe of those old concert tees, those plastered with corporate logos from completed 5Ks, and the souvenirs that you couldn’t resist from the vacations of you youth. Instead, upgrade to a classic solid T-shirt in neutral colors. Get them in Pima cotton, nature’s own performance fiber, and you’ll have tidy style for every day, the gym, or a night out.

The other classic wardrobe item that Morrissey insists upon addressing? Socks. “Throw out all your socks,” she instructs. “I actually did this for myself after one of my male clients had the idea. Start with an empty drawer. Then buy a bunch of dark dress socks and a batch of athletic socks, all in exactly the same color and style. Then stack them in the drawer.” There’s no need to worry about pairing them up, because each sock will match every other sock. “Bombas socks keep coming up. Many of my clients love them,” she adds.

As for neckties, Morrissey says, “I haven’t found a guy yet who really loves his ties. If the object here is to liberate people from things that don’t bring them joy, then maybe not liking ties is actually saying something about your career choice.”

Morrissey, who was originally trained as a social worker, had a female client who didn’t want any of her work clothes touching any of her casual clothes. When she asked about it, the client began to admit to herself that her work was really encroaching too much on her personal life.

RELATED: Back to Basics: The White T-Shirt

If you love your job but your neckwear choices aren’t sparking joy, upgrade. Just like with socks and tees, get in there and purge all those ties that were gifts you don’t love, were on sale and seemed like a good idea at the time, or were bought to match a specific suit or shirt that isn’t around anymore.

Although tidying doesn’t necessarily equal shopping, keeping your wardrobe neat and organized may be more enjoyable if you’re working with raw materials that you know make you look great. “A lot of guys only shop when they are dragged to a store, or they grab whatever they can at Costco,” says Morrissey. “Once we’ve got his wardrobe pared down and organized, working with a service like Trunk Club is a great next step.”

Finally, Morrissey referenced a study from UCLA anthropologists about American families, our homes, and our “stuff.” The study’s researchers found that the cortisol levels of women are directly correlated to the number of objects in the home. So the messier the house, the higher the level of stress. Many men, on the other hand, may not even be aware that their house is in disarray. “I had a client whose wife didn’t want anything for her birthday, so as a gift to her, he bought himself the tidying service,” she says.

Although Morrissey emphasizes that you have to really want to go through this process to succeed, play your cards right and you might end up sparking a little joy that has nothing at all to do with wearing clothes.

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Republic Day 2020: Full textual content of President Kovind’s speech

In his address, President Kovind pressured upon the want for mutual cooperation among the government and the competition parties and said they have got “vital New Delhi forty three:26 am 26 January Speech in English Republic day president speech full textual content, full text of president speech, ram nath kovind speech full text, indian explicit information President Ram Nath Kovind. (Twitter/rashtrapatibhavan)

President Ram Nath Kovind Saturday addressed the nation on the eve of usa’s 71st Republic Day. In a televised deal with, he pressured upon the need for mutual cooperation between the government and the opposition events and stated they have “critical roles to play”. He also spoke approximately the performance of numerous authorities schemes and additionally applauded the Indian Space Research Organisation (ISRO) for its achievements.

Here’s the full of President Kovind’s speech

Dear fellow residents,

On the eve of our 71st Republic Day, I enlarge my warm greetings to all of you, in India and overseas.

Seven many years ago, on twenty sixth January, our Constitution came into effect. Even before that, this date had received special significance. Having resolved to achieve ‘Purna Swaraj’, our humans were celebrating ‘Purna Swaraj Day’ on each 26th January from 1930 to 1947. That is why, in 1950 we embarked our adventure as a Republic at the 26th January, putting forward to the principles laid down in our Constitution. Since then, each 12 months we rejoice our Republic Day on twenty sixth January.

The current State accommodates the 3 organs – Legislature, Executive and Judiciary, which are always interlinked and interdependent. Yet, on floor, the human beings include the State. ‘We the People’ are the top movers of the Republic. With us, the human beings of India rests the actual energy to decide our collective destiny.

Republic Day 2020  right here to observe LIVE updates

Our Constitution gave us rights as residents of a loose democratic state, but also located on us the responsibility to continually adhere to the vital tenets of our democracy – justice, liberty, equality and fraternity. It turns into simpler for us to observe those constitutional ideals, if we maintain in thoughts the life and values of the Father of our Nation. By doing so, we will be including a meaningful measurement to our celebrations of a hundred and fiftieth birth anniversary of Gandhiji.

The Government has released a number of welfare campaigns, and what's especially noteworthy approximately them is the truth that residents have voluntarily became them into popular actions. The ‘Swachchh Bharat Abhiyan’ has finished amazing success in any such short time. The identical spirit can be seen in different endeavours. Be it giving up cooking gasoline subsidy or pushing virtual bills, the common guy has made the government programmes his own, making them virtually effective. The success of the ‘Pradhan Mantri Ujjwala Yojana’ is an issue of satisfaction, as the target of 8 crore beneficiaries has been done. With this, those in want have get entry to to easy gasoline. The ‘Pradhan Mantri Sahaj Bijli Har Ghar Yojana’, that is, ‘Saubhagya’ too has brightened people’s lives. Under ‘Pradhanmantri Kisan Samman Nidhi’, more than 14 crore farmer households have turn out to be entitled to get hold of minimum annual profits of Rupees six thousand. This has enabled the farmers who feed us to stay a lifestyles of dignity.

To effectively meet the venture of the growing water crisis, the Ministry of Jalshakti has been created. Water conservation and water management are being given top precedence. I am confident that, like ‘Swachchh Bharat Abhiyan’, ‘Jal Jeevan Mission’ too will take the form of a famous movement.

Along with the welfare of these most in want, every policy initiative of the Government is guided via the ‘kingdom-first’ precept. The roll-out of the GST has realised our vision of ‘One united states, One tax, One market’. It is being complemented by the e-NAM scheme, which is strengthening the process of making ‘one marketplace for one nation’ and could benefit farmers. There is a consistent attempt by means of the authorities to make sure normal development of every and each a part of the u . S . – be it Jammu-Kashmir and Ladakh, the states inside the North-East or our Islands inside the Indian Ocean.

Strong inner protection is critical for the development of the united states of america. Therefore, the government has taken several concrete steps to reinforce the internal security gadget.

Access to health and education are regularly considered the inspiration of correct governance. In each these sectors, we've got come an extended manner inside the seven decades. The Government has rightly focused its interest on the health region, with its bold tasks. Starting with the Pradhan Mantri Jan Arogya Yojana, and expanding to the Ayushman Bharat, that is the world’s biggest publicly funded typical healthcare programme, the Government has proven its care and concern for the well-being of the negative. Quality of healthcare has stepped forward, so has its reach. The Jan Aushadhi Yojana has brought down the healthcare finances of common people in the u . S . A . Via supplying fine regular medicines at low-cost charges.

The foundations of a valid education machine were built in historical instances, with the setting up of excellent universities like Nalanda and Takshashila. In India, understanding has continually been taken into consideration more valuable than power, repute or riches. In our culture, educational establishments are respected as temples of studying. When our land become pushed into backwardness after the long colonial rule, it changed into education that emerged as a direction to empowerment. Even even though the improvement of our tutorial establishments commenced quickly after Independence, in an surroundings of shortage of resources, our achievements in the discipline of education have followed a top notch trajectory. Our endeavour is to make sure that no toddler or youth is denied education. At the same time, we want to strive to reach international education requirements by way of non-stop reform of our instructional systems.

India is pleased with the achievements of ISRO. They are making similarly progress in Mission Gaganyaan, and the nation excitedly seems ahead to the Indian Human Spaceflight Programme gaining further momentum this yr.

This is also the year of Tokyo Olympics. While India has traditionally finished well in some of sports, the brand new era of players and athletes has introduced laurels for the state in increasingly varieties of sports in latest years. At Olympics 2020, the Indian contingent could be subsidized by means of cheers and accurate wishes of thousands and thousands of Indians.

Another source of pleasure for our u . S . A . Has been our diaspora. During my visits overseas, I even have discovered that Indians have now not simplest delivered prosperity to their followed lands, they have got also superior India’s image earlier than the arena community. Many of them have made brilliant contributions in a extensive sort of endeavours.

I don't have anything however unreserved reward for our armed forces, paramilitary and internal safety forces. Their sacrifices to hold the integrity and cohesion of our usa gift a saga of unprecedented braveness and area. Our farmers, medical doctors and nurses, teachers who impart gaining knowledge of and values, scientists and engineers, alert and lively young people, industrious participants of our personnel, entrepreneurs contributing to our economic wealth, artists who enhance our culture, provider area specialists who have earned international appreciation, our fellow countrymen contributing in lots of different spheres of pastime and particularly our resilient daughters who've scaled new heights of achievements towards odds – all of them deliver delight to our state.

Earlier this month, I had the opportunity to engage with a few achievers who have carried out commendable work in various fields. Working silently, they have made significant contributions to diverse fields including technology and innovation, sports, empowerment of Divyang people, farming and afforestation, girls and infant empowerment, training, healthcare, revival of old art paperwork and providing food and nutrition to the needy. For instance, Sushri Aarifa Jan has revived the Numdha handicrafts in Jammu & Kashmir; Sushri Ratnawali Kottapallihas been serving sufferers laid low with thalassemia in Telangana; Shrimati Devaki Amma has advanced forest wealth thru her individual efforts in Kerala; Shri Jamkhojang Misao has advanced the lives of many human beings through his network improvement efforts in Manipur and Shri Babar Ali has been presenting education to underprivileged kids in West Bengal in view that his adolescence. There are numerous such examples, I actually have cited just a few of them. They exemplify that everyday human beings could make excellent contributions. There are a massive quantity of voluntary organizations too who've been contributing to the task of state-building, and complementing the initiatives of government.

We at the moment are in the 1/3 decade of the twenty-first century. This might be the decade of the upward push of New India and a new technology of Indians. More and extra of these born in this century are collaborating within the countrywide discourse. With the passage of time, we're gradually dropping residing links with our extraordinary freedom war, but there may be no reason to fear about the continuity of the beliefs that guided it. With advances in generation, the younger minds of nowadays are better knowledgeable and greater confident. The subsequent technology stays strongly committed to the middle values of our state. For our young people, the state continually comes first. With them, we're witnessing the emergence of a New India.

Mahatma Gandhi’s beliefs remain applicable in our state-constructing efforts. It ought to be part of our day by day recurring to introspect on Gandhiji’s message of fact and nonviolence, which has grow to be all the extra essential in our instances.

When combating for a motive, human beings, specially the children, need to now not forget the gift of Ahimsa Gandhiji gave to humanity. Gandhiji’s talisman for figuring out whether an act is right or wrong also applies to the functioning of our democracy. Government and opposition both have critical roles to play. While giving expression to their political thoughts, both have to flow forward in tandem to make certain that improvement of the u . S . A . And welfare of its humans are promoted continually.

As our Republic Day is a celebration of our Constitution, allow me conclude with the phrases of its chief architect, Babasaheb Ambedkar: “If we desire to maintain democracy no longer merely in form, but additionally in fact, what have to we do? The first aspect in my judgment we should do is to hold fast to constitutional techniques of reaching our social and financial targets.”

These words have usually lighted our direction. These words will preserve to reveal us the manner beforehand to new glories.

The idea of worldwide as a large well-knit circle of relatives, captured in our message of ‘Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam’, strengthens our members of the family with different countries. We had been sharing our democratic ideals and the end result of our improvement with the whole world.

We have a lifestyle of inviting foreign heads of states to participate in our Republic Day celebrations. I am glad that this yr, our prominent buddy, The President of Brazil, Mr. Bolsonaro will participate in our Republic Day characteristic the next day.

As India and Indians march forward, we stay committed to attractive the global network to build a secure and wealthy future for ourselves and for the entire humanity.

I once again deliver my Republic Day greetings to all of you and I enlarge my quality needs in your brilliant destiny.