#maybe 2 if i get a better grip on my life idk

[duoduotian]

i got my hand injured at work bc i was scared i was being too slow... next time i'll just be slow i don't want to lose a hand these devices are more dangerous than they look lmao...

[cherrygenshin]

Alone Time

Jujutsu Kaisen Masturbation Headcannons, drabbles, idk what to call them sorry lol

Characters: Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Toji Fushiguro

Warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI, masturbation, sexting (gojo), Toji is a little pervy if you squint.

Smut Under The Cut!

Gojo Satoru

Has a relatively high sex drive, but won't jerk off unless he's on a mission/ can't be with you.

If/when he decides to jerk off, you WILL know about it.

It's a step by step process.

He will start by bombarding you with needy messages. 'I miss you', 'wish you were here', 'need my baby back :(('

Next comes the photos.

Photo 1. He's in bed, shirtless. You get a divine image of his sculpted abs, his lower torso unfortunately covered up by his blanket.

Photo 2. His hand creeping in to his underwear, the lighting of the photo just perfect enough to see his bulge.

Photo 3. Dick pic. He can't take it anymore, he has to show you how much he misses you! And what better way to do that then show you a photo of his long, pretty cock gripped in his digits?

After the photos, he'll call you. It's fine if you don't answer, he'll just leave you plenty of voice messages of him moaning, his breathless whimpers of your name coming through the phone as he desperately tries to reach his high.

And after that? You get the loveliest video, he squirts all over his hand and lower abs with a cry of your name. He turns the camera around to his flushed face, and ends the video with a quick 🤪✌️ because of course he does.

Geto Suguru

I don't picture this man having a super high sex drive, I feel like life gets in his way a lot of the time.

The only time he'd take matters in to his own hands is if you were asleep and he really couldn't get his boner to go away.

He debates for a while, going back and forth on if he should just wake you up, but he eventually decides not to bother you, your sleeping form was just too adorable for him to disturb with his own lustful needs.

He gets up and heads to the shower, stepping in to the hot water with a slight 'hiss'. Perhaps he was a bit too eagre to get this over with.

Resting a hand against the tiles, he closes his eyes and brings a hand down to his already hardened cock. He pumps his shaft a few times, before his eyes flit open in search of something.

There it is. Your bodywash. He reaches over and grabs it off the shelf, opening it and hastily pouring a glob on to his hands. He inhales sharply, the scent of you filling his nose before he takes his freshly 'lubed' hands back to his now leaking cock.

He fists himself fast and hard, not wanting to draw this out any longer than necessary. His mind wanders to you, how you would feel if you saw him right now. Would you be mad? Or maybe turned on? Maybe you would help him, and he'd get to stuff his cock in your tight hole..

The thought sends him over the edge as he cums with a deep sigh. He finishes the rest of his shower in post-nut shame, and quietly slides back in to bed with you.

The next morning you wonder why he somehow smells like you. Perhaps he grabbed your bodywash by mistake?

Fushiguro Toji

This man a certified daddy of 2, so I'm sure he's got a decent sex drive.

He doesn't really like jerking off if you're around as he'd rather just pound you, but when the need comes, who is he to deny himself of pleasure?

You were due home from work in 10 minutes. He'd been walking around with a hard on for the past 30, and he'd decided enough is enough.

Sitting himself down on the lounge, he pulls his sweatpants down just enough for his thick dick to spring out. He spreads his legs, enjoying the feeling of freedom.

He glances at the clock. Okay, 10 minutes until you're home. He could wait for you, but this has been pissing him off long enough.

He spits on to his dick and strokes it roughly, not caring about the slight sting of his calloused hands on his sensitive dick.

He grabs his phone and pulls up images of you, one's he's taken after he's filled your hole with his cum, one's of your fucked out face, and some sneaky ones of your panties while you weren't looking.

He grunts, hand gripping tighter as he strokes faster now, his high approaching quickly the more he looks at your photos.

"Fuck-" He heaves a heavy sigh, moving his hand to pay special attention to his tip. He tilts his head back and cums with a loud groan, shooting thick ropes on to his lower stomach.

He opens one eye as he notices you standing in the doorway, stunned.

"Hey mama, come over 'ere and clean this mess will ya? It's your fault after all."

[peachy-cheeks]

Kusakabe Atsuya A to Z

warnings: nsfw... and didn’t proofread… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

a/n: ovulating, rewatching season 2, and kinda fixating on maybe my favorite minor male character in jjk... idk i know there are more atsuya stans out here in hiding and i'm sad that there's more fic for like... idk... naoya... than him... like stand up yall, he's excellent, relatable, has a decent backstory, and i kinda wanna give him a kiss. anyway....

Masterlist

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Atsuya's disposition often reads as removed, cold, or unenthusiastic but I like to think of this in two ways: it's a defense mechanism and his job (unfortunately tied to his entire life) is conducive to him acting this way.

All of that to say he's likely the exact opposite one-on-one. Especially when he's completely disarmed by the comfort of his partner— he's the type to cradle and cuddle you, shower you in little pecks, gently move strands of hair out the way to get a better view of your face, and bury his face into your neck to breathe more of you in... You might have to kick him off of you to grab a towel before he falls asleep though.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

For him, it’s his forearms. He’s grateful that they’re used to bearing a lot of weight and can still exert a good amount of strength. It also gives him a little endorphin rush to feel the palm of your hands grip onto his arms for leverage and support.

His favorite part of you is a 50/50 split between your breasts and the inner plush of your thighs. The sensation of rubbing against, gripping onto, pinching, and biting the delicate skin excites him, mostly because he knows that he can always get a rise out of you from those areas. Truly he's indecisive, but he knows that the soft warmth feels much better in his grasp than the stiff, weighty tsuka (the main source of the callouses on his fingertips) he's used to reaching for.

C = Cum (What it says on the tin...)

I mean there isn't anything really special about his cum (at least he thinks), but he does love seeing it streaked across your face, glistening in your mouth, running along your chin and down your neck. Guilty pleasure is seeing it in your hair, though he sympathizes with how annoying that can be to deal with so he tries to avoid it.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He absolutely loves when you boss him around. Not that he doesn't already listen to you or that he'd be combative, but he really can't help it if his pants feel just a little tighter every time you tell him what he "needs" to do or even get a little cross with him. Oof... and you potentially praising him for doing something right? Definitely a submissive side he has yet to unpack or even connect the behavior with, though he can totally acknowledge that you taking the reins gives him a chance to step back from the big brother/instructor role for once.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Decently experienced and while he wouldn't divulge his past escapades with you (unless you asked), you can definitely feel the experience in how he touches you. Attentive and confident in how his hands direct your body.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying.)

Indecisive on this as well but he takes deep pleasure in seeing you take control. If he had to list his favorite three, it would be cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and missionary at the very top.

I mean, he loves seeing you on top but he's a traditionalist and, efficiency-wise, he can reach where you need him most at a faster and harder pace with you under him. Missionary is also the easiest position for him to hold your cheeks between his hand to keep your focus on him.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Again, someone who seems more serious than not. But when he's comfortable and in a non-life threatening situation between the legs of his lover, a tender side of Atsuya shows. Of course, it takes a bit of time... multiple sessions and hours really... of cutting through his reserved attitude, but after a while you find that both of your kisses, moans, and deep, vulnerable sighs are bookended by smiles and giggles. Maybe someone pulled a funny face or decided to give up prematurely on a strenuous position. Maybe you both have a moment of realization that the perfect person is fucking you and you can't help but laugh at your luck.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

I have a personal soft-spot for this so walk with me a bit... chest, arms, legs... perfect sprinkle of hair... enough to give a very mature (ugh... dilf-esque) compliment to the toned muscles underneath. A very charming, dark happy trail dusts his lower abs and leads to a nicely trimmed yet fuller tuft of hair above his dick.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

Recurring theme here... he's a secret sweetheart. Day-to-day and outside of a dangerous situation, he's a particularly dedicated, caring, and thoughtful person. There's still a reserved quality to how romantic he is PDA-wise. Hand-holding is fine, the occasional well-timed kiss— ideally away from students— is fine, he just prefers to be more chivalrous (acts of service) than overtly affectionate (touch). He's more-so worried about giving himself the ick from being a bit too forward and all over you in public (and in-turn giving you the ick.)

But... when he is all over you, the body worship makes you feel like the only person on earth. It's like he has an innate sense of how to nonverbally rectify anything you may have misread about his feelings for you (from a mix of cultivated experience and natural chemistry). Because he's constantly in minor disbelief about how you want him as much as he wants you, in bed he's very communicative, quick to learn all of your trigger points, and loves to hand out compliments:

"Mm... I remember. That spot's really sensitive... can I kiss you there?"

"Comfortable? Feel like my hands were made for holding you here..."

"Seriously don't get how someone can be as perfect as you..."

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Oh boy... rare now since he's not away from you too often. I think prior to shooting his shot with you he had a major moment of self-discovery where you slowly became the main subject of his spank-bank.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Something about Atsuya makes me think that he's generally vanilla but would be really into subtle power-play. Not committed to the full dom/sub relationship or BDSM as a practice, but loves a little touch of friendly roughness. A hand to his (or your) throat, hair tugging, a few loving slaps, maybe even a little spit-play.

I think shibari/kinbaku would be the furthest he'd go. He respects the beauty of it, the amount of trust and patience it takes to do it right, the learning process, and how much you look like you need him by the end.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Traditionalist... nothing can beat a bedroom. Though the shower is nice... keeping you from slipping gives him a great opportunity to lift. The kitchen table is great too since it offers the perfect leverage. The couch offers the same thing too for a few different positions. Well... I guess as long as it's at home...

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Your smile. It’s really that simple. Seeing you express any amount of joy, let alone share it with him fills him with a type of yearning that he can’t really verbalize. It just makes him want to be as close to you as possible.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Teacher kink... would indulge if you really enjoyed it but reminds him entirely too much of work 😭

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He enjoys giving and isn't bad at it by any means but you swear something very repressed and primal unveils itself when he locks eyes with you on your knees, mouth open, and doe-eyed. He tries to be gentle about it at least.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

This can vary since he enjoys almost any pace as long as it's with you. With setting a pace he really keeps an eye out for what he thinks you'd prefer at the moment. I think there's always a point where he can't hold back but he strategizes around and prioritizes getting you off... depends on how much time you both have. But hey, if the pace happens to start out needy and desperate...

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Not against a quickie, but as mentioned, defers to your mood on how to proceed. For him, the most likely scenario of needing a quickie (because he’d prefer to just be late or cancel whatever was cutting into your time) would be on campus; a taboo that he hates to admit actually excites him.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He's willing to experiment with you and anyone he's had an extended relationship with, but frankly speaking the limits of his own risk-taking imagination run fairly short (apart from speculating on what places you two could get away with hooking up.) But if you can show him something new, he's likely game (though, nothing super bloody or violent... just not his thing.)

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He blames it on getting older but, normally, twice in one go is maybe the best he can do. Definitely exceptions to this... say someone feels particularly giving, there's a special occasion (anniversaries, birthdays, coming back from an assignment, a nice date night), or maybe you two lucked out and have a whole weekend, unbusy and unbothered, together.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He seems like a very simple, no-frills guy. But if you have any favorites to bring to the table, that'd likely pique his interest.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Atsuya aims to please so his teasing (just light petting, groping, and sweet whispers) is typically relegated to foreplay. Beyond this, he likes to give you very simple, sometimes curt, directions to follow while he’s fucking you. He doesn’t fully restrict you (most of the time) or prevent you from chasing your high but he likes to put small roadblocks and rules to bargain on in your way:

“Hey, look at me. Don’t touch. I’ll do it if you look at me. Mmhmm… keep your eyes here. Good... Feel good? That what you wanted?”

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Not loud, per-say, but does have a habit of moaning into your mouth, against your ear, or just against your body in general. Maybe he’s a little too shy to moan aloud and feels safer relinquishing these rare sounds to you only.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Atsuya definitely has an oral fixation. He deeply misses smoking– especially a post-sex cigarette– but he doesn’t mind if you indulge. Actually, he really looks forward to seeing you have one. Over the years he’s wisened up to the fact that smoke deteriorates the body but he still finds something enticing about the act of sucking on death itself. Especially the way you do it (of course, he does want you to live a long, prosperous life…)

You always offer him a hit but he’s principled enough to look and not touch… he also keeps a few candies in a couple of different drawers around the house, so he’s covered. On the more current end of his oral fixation, he loves sharing lollipops with you. Even better when you steal a kiss with the candy caught between both your lips.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Tanned shaft (that he loves feeling you squeeze against), darker pink tip (that he loves feeling you suck on), wonderful shape with a few prominent veins and an upward tilt. Girth-y and not unbearably long, but even when he's not hard there's a decent chub.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He would say he has a very unremarkably normal libido though you’d say otherwise. Again, he tries to reel back on PDA but when you’re both lounging around, cooking, doing chores around the house, getting dressed, and other regular daily activities he can get quite handsy and heart-eyed.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Leaves a bit of space (let's say an hour... hour and thirty tops) for a sweet and short make-out, pillow-talk, and cleanup but otherwise ready to sleep like a swaddled baby and will most likely be the big spoon.

[elasticitymudflap]

you think your boy Simon is gonna come back for season 2 or is he all arced out?

LISTEN *GRIPS U* SORRY IM ALL CAPS IM JUST BEING VERY NORMAL RN

SEASON 1 WAS BASICALLY ABOUT GETTING HIM TO THE POINT WHERE HE WAS SIMPLY NO LONGER LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE TO THROW HIS LIFE AWAY, AND RECOGNIZING/NOT ROMANTICIZING THE CONCEPT OF SACRIFICE IN HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH BETTY BECAUSE OF HOW DISPROPORTIONALLY SHE SACRIFICED HERSELF FOR HIM IN WAYS HE WASN'T COGNIZANT OF.

IMHO:

SEASON 1 BARELY TOUCHED UPON ADDRESSING OR WORKING THROUGH HIS ICE KING TRAUMA. THIS IS MY FIRST MAIN THING I NEED THEM TO TOUCH UPON.

IT CONCERNS ME THAT SIMON DIDN'T EVEN COMPLETELY CONNECT THE DOTS IN THAT ALL THE CRAP WORLDS THEY WENT TO WERE HINGING ON WHO HE IS AND THE IMPACT HIS LOVE AND SACRIFICE (OR THE LACK THEREOF) HAD ON THE WORLD (DID SORT OF FOR A MOMENT IN THE STAR BUT NOT NEARLY ENOUGH IMO)

HE'S OBVIOUSLY STILL PROCESSING HIS YEARS TAKING CARE OF MARCY IN THE APOCALYPSE???? THERE WAS NO FOLLOW-UP WITH HER PHONECALL EVEN IN THE FINAL MONTAGE???? WHAT HAPPENED IN OOO WHEN HE DISAPPEARED??? THESE TWO NEED TO FUCKING TALK FOR REAL

WHAT DOES SIMON'S LIFE LOOK LIKE WHEN HE'S NO LONGER AN EXHIBIT?? HOW THE HELL DID HE BECOME/CONSENT TO BECOMING AN EXHIBIT IN THE FIRST PLACE I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK?? HOW DID HIS LIFE CHANGE SO DRASTICALLY (OR DID IT NOT) FROM OBSIDIAN??

THE MORAL OF "MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE GONE ON THAT TRIP TO AUSTRALIA INSTEAD / WHO KNOWS WHAT LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE" IS SO BAD FOR HIM TO END CONCLUSIVELY ON AFTER EVERYTHING WE'VE SEEN BECAUSE THE WORLD STILL FUCKING ENDED??? MAYBE HE FOUND THE CROWN, MAYBE HE DIDN'T, BUT EITHER WAY FROM WHAT WE SAW IN THE ALT WORLDS IT WAS ALL GOING TO END IN TRAGEDY AND MAYBE THIS IS THE ONLY WORLD WHERE WE GET A BITTERSWEET END INSTEAD OF A HELL WORLD THANKS TO THEIR DESICIONS??? IDK!!!!!! I'D LIKE TO EXPLORE THAT CONCEPT I THINK

THE UNIVERSE IS OUT OF HIS NOODLE, BUT DOES SIMON'S HEAD-PORTAL STILL WORK?? CAN HE CONNECT TO FIONNA WORLD IF HE'S IN HIGHLY CHARGED MAGICAL ENVIRONMENTS??? ACTUALLY, WHAT THE HELL ARE THE LONG TERM EFFECTS OF A HUMAN HAVING A UNIVERSE IN HIS DANG HEAD

HE'S CONNECTING WITH ASTRID NOW AND SEEMS TO BE ON MUCH BETTER TERMS, IS SHE GOING TO INSPIRE HIM TO START WRITING FIONNA AND CAKE STORIES AGAIN TO COPE IN A HEALTHY WAY WITH HIS PAST THIS TIME??

SIMON'S RELATIONSHIP WITH ICE THING???

SIMON'S HUMAN PAST IN GENERAL: WHY IS THIS DUDE THE WAY HE IS??? WHY DID HE BELIEVE THE THINGS HE DID, STUDY THEM, MAKE THEM THE THINGS HE HINGED HIS LIFE AND CAREER ON???

ON THAT NOTE: FLASHBACKS. MOTHER FUCKING FLASHBACKS. MORE OF HIS ADVENTURES WITH BETTY. WE ACTUALLY SEE SO LITTLE OF WHAT THEY WERE LIKE TOGETHER WHEN ACTUALLY HAPPY, HUMAN, AND IN A RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER, IN THEIR ELEMENT, AND NOT STRICKEN WITH LIFE-OR-DEATH DESICION MAKING EXCEPT FOR HIS DUMB ASS GETTING BRAINED BY A CHERRY JAR

HIS YEARNING TO FIND BETTY AND APOLOGIZE TO HER WAS "TECHNICALLY" HANDLED IN THE SHOW, BUT YOU CAN NOT TELL ME THIS DUDE DOESN'T HAVE LASTING ISSUES AND TRAUMA AROUND THAT. ABOUT THE FIRST TIME HE PUT ON THE CROWN AND BETTY DISAPPEARING FOREVER. ABOUT THE GUILT AND FEAR ABOUT HER BEING DEAD DURING THE WAR. ABOUT LIVING NINE FUCKING HUMAN LIFETIMES IN A HAZE WHERE ALL HE KNEW WAS HE HURT THE PERSON HE LOVED MOST AND HE JUST NEEDED TO FIND HER. IT BECAME AN INTEGRAL PART OF ICE KING'S CHARACTER, HIS MOST DEFINING TRAIT STRIPPED TO THE STUDS. HE HELD ONTO THAT LAST PIECE OF SIMON PETRIKOV SOME HOW UNTIL SO MUCH TIME HAD PASSED HIS ONLY HOPE TO EVER FIND HER AGAIN WAS TO USE TIME TRAVEL. I'D LIKE SOME MORE OF THAT, IF YOU PLEASE.

HOW IS HE ACTUALLY COPING POST-SEASON 1? WHAT ARE HIS THOUGHTS ON ALL THE WORLDS THEY VISITED, THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO HIM, THE IMPLICATIONS, HIS INTERPRETATIONS? HE MAY BE IN THERAPY BUT HE'S STILL DRINKING.

ANYWAY

[mixelation]

some of the reborn au stuff i was working on

context: tori has applied to an internal chunin promotion, and instead of just giving it to her, minato was like "nah, go do the next exam in kiri. it'll be good pr for konoha if you're in the tournament, which i want you to just win. oh, but do it using really obvious and flashy fuinjutsu. and don't melt anyone we don't want to seem scary. idk you should try to be, like, cool and charming for potential clients"

so tori has made herself EXTREMELY stressed over this because while everyone else in her life is like "yeah obviously tori could beat the shit out of any random genin" she habitually underestimates her self. what if there is a deidara or an itachi in the tournament. ever think of that???

anyway this is introducing the other konoha-nin involved

****

Tori arrived to her meeting spot near Konoha’s front gate with two minutes to spare, take-away latte in hand. The genin of Team 2 were already there, looking distinctly nervous. 

They are so small, Tori thought with some anxiety. What if the Kiri-nin metaphorically tried to eat them? Actual thirteen year olds were vicious things, but they were also delicate little babies. Would Tori have to save them? 

“Hey,” she greeted. “Team 2? I’m Tori, the other genin.” They stared at her, nonplussed. Oh no, they’re scared little babies, Tori thought with some trepidation. “Er– where is your sensei?”

“We just got word he has meningitis,” the girl of the team said, sounding upset. She had the cute round face and the orangey-red hair of an Akimichi, flowing over her shoulders in two braids. “The messenger said someone else would be assigned.”

Tori squinted at her. Okay, yeah, that sounded… bad. 

“Viral or bacterial?” Tori asked. All three genin stared blankly back at her. Had she slipped up? They had different and fewer pathogens here. Maybe they only had one type…?

Oh, no, maybe thirteen year olds just didn’t know the difference.

Tori had no idea how one recruited a Jounin for a mission this long, this last second. In theory Minato could command ninja to do whatever he wanted, but he also seemed to operate under the policy that better treated ninja got him better results. There weren't a lot of people who would just be okay with being told one morning they’d be in Kiri for over a month, plus travel time in both directions. She imagined they were about to be set up with some sort of weirdo from ANBU.  

They only had to wait another fifteen minutes for their replacement Jounin. 

Oh my God, Tori thought as she stared at him.

“I’m Uchiha Shisui!” Shisui aimed his introduction at the team of thirteen year olds. He beamed at them, flashing his teeth. Compared to the little genin, he looked more like an adult than a gangly teen. “I’m looking forward to getting to know all of you. Let’s all get along.”

He took a moment to eye Tori’s latte with what she assumed was regular Uchiha judgment. She tightened her grip on it. She needed this latte, okay? Lattes were the only thing keeping her sane nowadays. 

The kunoichi of the genin team was blushing as she stared shyly back at Shisui. Tori felt tempted to pick her up and shake her. 

“Why don’t you all introduce yourselves before we head out?” Shisui said. “Because this is so last minute, I didn’t get a chance to brief myself on any of your backgrounds. Have any of you run missions outside Fire Country before?”

Tori knew this question was aimed at the actual children, because Shisui obviously knew all about Team 4’s missions and where she’d grown up via Itachi. The wording that he assumed they all hadn’t still made her hackles rise. 

Team 2 hadn’t ever been out of the country for a mission, it turned out. Akimichi Himi, the blushing kunoichi, said she’d gone on a month-long trip with her parents last year to research cuisines in Rice Country. 

“That’s super cool, Himi-chan,” Tori said, perhaps too loudly and quickly. God knew Shisui wasn’t good at not dismissing the incredibly interesting and rich lives of young ladies. 

Himi looked at her like she wasn’t sure why she was talking. Tori shut her mouth.

The two boys on the team were Kato Tetsuro and Uchiha Shouten. Shouten also seemed flustered to be speaking with Shisui. Tori had no idea why. Weren’t they cousins?

“I’m Tori,” Tori said when her turn came. “I’ve been outside of Fire Country before. Um, let’s see, I’m running solo because my genin teammates were already promoted. I already took the exam once, so I’m happy to answer questions about it.”

“But you failed?” Shouten asked, raising his head to eye her in incredible judgment. 

Is every Uchiha an asshole? Tori wondered. 

“Failing a chunin exam is sometimes more about politics than a ninja’s quality,” Shisui said smoothly. Well, at least he wasn’t condescending every time he opened his mouth. 

“Is everyone ready to head out?” Shisui asked. “Don’t worry. We can take this trip slow and steady. I want you guys to tell me more about yourselves.” 

And slow and steady they did take it, walking out of the village at a casual pace and then keeping that pace up for the rest of the day. Itachi would be having a meltdown. 

Shisui quizzed them on their specialties as they walked, since he’d been filling in as their mentor for the exam. His attentions were focused more on the young genin team, which Tori didn’t mind. He spoke to them like they were about eight, and if he used that tone on her, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep her tongue in check. 

When they breaked to make camp, Shisui went off on his own to scout the area. Himi immediately turned to Shouten. 

“Oh my gosh,” she gushed. “Shouten, your cousin is a total hottie.”

Shouten rolled his eyes. “He’s out of your league, Himi-chan,” he said. “Shisui-san is a genius. He’s one of the most decorated ninja in the clan, and he’s only seventeen.”

And too old for you! Tori nearly yelled at Himi. She knew it was normal for a kid to crush on older people, but… but!

“Do you think he could help you awaken your sharingan?” Tetsuro asked, and Shouten’s cheeks went red. 

“Never mind that!” Himi said. “Quick, tell me everything you know about Shisui-san. What are his favorite foods? The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, duh! Does he like girls with long hair or short?”

“I don’t know him that well,” Shouten griped, stretching his legs out in front of him. His face remained red. “The Uchiha clan is pretty big, and we’re not closely related. Plus, he’s like super famous. He’s the only one Itachi-sama ever hangs out with. He’s that good.”

What the hell is happening? Tori wondered as Tetsuro leaned back on his hands and started to wonder out loud what kind of training they could get from such a prestigious shinobi that the Uchiha Itachi would deign to be buddies with him. How do these random children know so much about Itachi?

“Oh yeah!” Himi said, turning to Tori. “Aren’t you the same age as Uchiha Itachi? Were you in his class?”

“Uh,” Tori said. 

“Why would she remember?” Shouten cut in. “He graduated in four months.”

“Really?” Tori asked, surprised. She thought he’d been in there a whole year… 

“Do you really not know?” Shisui asked, suddenly appearing behind her. Then he said, in a decidedly more authoritative voice than he’d used so far that day,  “Did none of you make any moves to set up camp?”

The conversation switched to splitting up tasks. Team 2 obviously already had their own system, and while Tori would usually be happy to just sit back and watch other people work, she felt self-conscious about doing it on their first night in front of Shisui. She was pretty sure Shisui saw her as full of herself and overconfident, and she wouldn’t give him more support for that theory. 

She ended up prepping ingredients for dinner under Himi’s command. She didn’t know how she ended up being bossed around by a little thirteen year old, but… well, what was she going to do? Tell an Akimichi how to cook? 

Over dinner, Shisui turned to Tori and asked, “How’s R&D?”

Tori was surprised that he’d both known her current station and also cared enough to ask. Did… did Itachi talk about her? She felt a flash of warmth at the idea. 

“It was a bit of an adjustment,” she said slowly, acutely aware of Team 2 also listening in. She wouldn’t go into why it was an adjustment, not with Shouten staring between her and Shisui that intently. “I’m going for promotion with the hopes of heading my own projects, actually.”

Shisui frowned slightly. “You couldn’t just get an internal promotion? Your mission record has got to be strong enough that you’d get one no problem.”

Shouten’s look was intensifying as he tried to unravel the conversation they were having. Shisui’s posture stayed loose and casual, like Shouten didn’t look like he was attempting to awaken his sharingan as he spoke. 

“I applied, but… um, Hokage-sama told me to do this instead,” Tori said. 

“Ah,” Shisui said, like that made total sense. “Yeah, okay. I thought it was weird he’d be taking you off R&D for a whole month…” Shisui suddenly straightened, flashing a smile at the rest of the genin. “The chunin exam is only a month-long commitment if you make it to the final stage. It’s no big deal if you don’t! Like I said, politics are a big part of these exams. Even your little hero Itachi failed his first exam.”

“No way,” Shouten exhaled. 

“Yep,” Shisui said with a wink. “By the way, Himi, this is really good.”

Himi preened. Tori considered tossing her dinner in Shisui’s face. She didn’t think Shisui was a slimeball who’d purposefully encourage a kid’s crush on him on, but also–!

The after-dinner talk turned into the other genin quizzing Shisui on missions he’d been on, and who the coolest ninja he’d worked with were. Shisui was incredibly vague in most of his answers, as ANBU missions tended to be super classified, but he had no problem dropping a handful of famous names, seemingly just to see the genin’s faces light up. ANBU operatives had tears of anonymity; basically everyone knew who Hatake Kakashi was and that he was a captain, for example. 

“Itachi is like a legend,” Himi babbled. “He’s two years above us, so he graduated before we started, but all the senior students talked about him.”

Shouten glared at his sandals as she talked, clearly… jealous, or something. Poor kid. 

“Oh yeah,” Shisui said, turning to Tori, who’s mostly been sitting out of this conversation. “How did you of all people not know Itachi graduated early?”

“Look, I knew he graduated early,” Tori said. “I just didn’t realize how early. Four months, seriously? You’re lucky he knows how to read.”

Apparently this was a disrespectful thing to say, as Team 2 all looked stricken and then turned to Shisui with wide eyes. Shisui just laughed good naturedly. 

“‘You of all people’….?” Himi repeated. Then she brightened. “Tori, are you a fan of Itachi?”

The tiniest smirk crossed Shisui’s lips.

“Yes,” he said. “The biggest fan.”

Fuck you, Tori thought. 

xXx

Tori did not bother to correct anyone on their assumptions about her and Itachi, mostly because she predicted that would turn the ten day trip even more awkward. Tori did not like the idea of anyone being impressed with her social connections, rather than Tori’s own accomplishments. She kept her mouth shut on her genin team. 

Himi did very smugly ask Tori for her crush list more than once. They were– technically– physically Himi was only a year younger than her. This would be a normal way to bond. But it also made Tori low-key want to scream. 

(Tori almost said Kakashi as a way to make Himi stop asking. He seemed like a normal target for a ninja celebrity crush, and she knew enough about him to have a conversation. But also, if that ever somehow got back to him, she would actually die.)

“How is Deidara not famous?” she did mutter to Shisui one evening while they were washing out cooking ware together. 

“I think they’re probably too young to be paying attention to the really interesting gossip,” Shisui replied. “Maybe you should hype him up. I’ll back you up that you’re a huge fangirl–”

Tori splashed water at him. “Oi!” she said. “Why did you even do that?”

Shisui flipped a pot over, pouring water back into the stream they were sitting on. 

“I thought you might not like them losing their minds,” he said. “I figured– like, if you didn’t like it, you could have just corrected me.”

This was… true. She did prefer it this way, if they had to talk about Itachi. But also: she still didn’t like it. 

“How is the entire world obsessed with him?” she wondered. 

“Beats me,” Shisui replied. 

They made it to Kiri midday of day ten, right on time. Kiri was surrounded by a thick, blue-gray stone wall. The individual stones were not uniformly cut, yet every irregular angle and nook fit perfectly into the neighboring stone. It was impressive. 

There was a guard outside the main gate, specifically for the Chunin Exam. Shisui chatted with her briefly and handed over their papers. Someone was called in to lead them to their accommodations, and while they waited for their tour guide, the guard lectured them on their rules of conduct for the stay. 

It was better than the rules they were given in Iwa. They could actually look around parts of the village, and they were getting an actual hotel room instead of abandoned dorms. No one patted them down for contraband. Shisui was handed a stack of food vouchers, good at any restaurant. 

Then something happened that Tori should have anticipated, but had been so stressed over other things that she hadn’t given it much thought. Kisame showed up to be their guide. 

“Really?” the guard asked, eyeing Kisame up and down dubiously. “Don’t they have better things for you to be doing?”

Kisame smiled, all friendly but showing off pointed teeth. Shisui straightened up, and the other genin shuffled nervously. Tori had no idea if a genin would recognize Kisame, but they’d definitely recognize he was a giant blue shark man. 

“I volunteered,” Kisame said. “I’ve met one of the entrants before. I was curious.”

Shisui’s eyes immediately shot to Tori, almost accusing. 

Oh, they really didn’t brief you, huh, Tori thought. She attempted to communicate this at him with her face. 

“Well, whatever,” the guard was saying. “Konoha, this is Hoshigaki Kisame. He’s one of our Seven Swordsmen. Be polite, or he’ll eat you.”

Team 2’s collective faces went pale, and Kisame laughed. 

He led them into the village, and Shisui stepped forward to lead the Konoha genin, walking at Kisame’s side. He introduced himself to Kisame, making small talk as they walked. Tori watched them, wondering how much Itachi had talked about Shisui to Kisame, before. Kisame was usually pretty easy to read, but he was also habitually polite. It was difficult to tell if he was being friendlier with Shisui than he would anyone else. 

“Iwa was an… interesting experience,” Kisame was saying, and then turned his head to flash his teeth at Tori over his shoulder. 

“Extremely interesting,” Tori agreed. “I hope this exam is comparatively boring.”

“With you here?” Kisame teased, and Tori felt her face go hot. 

“I’ll have you know that I’ve been explicitly ordered to be peppy,” she replied. 

“Peppy?” Shisui repeated, dubious. This was clearly news to him. 

“Are any other entrants here yet?” Tori asked, directing the conversation away from herself. 

“You’re on the earlier side,” Kisame replied, and then he made her work to get as much info on other teams as she could out of him. 

Kisame pointed out their hotel, and then took them on a walk around the surrounding neighborhoods they were allowed to wander freely. It was, as far as Tori could tell, a largely civilian part of town. But it was pretty and comfortable, she thought; she’d always liked all the greenery and little canals Kiri had running through it. The mood of the people they saw on the street was overall happier than when she’d last been here, eyes following them more with curiosity than disdain. Kisame had done a good job saving his village from civil war. 

The outskirts of the perimeter had some training grounds they were allowed to use, as they’d arrived two days before the start of the exam. 

Finally, Kisame said, “And then… well, technically it’s not inside the perimeter, but I could still show you…” 

Kisame had been largely directing his tour guide speech to Shisui, but now he turned to Tori, grinning down at her knowingly. 

“Have any of you genin been to a beach?” 

****

for anyone of you who picked up the moral inconsistency between tori being annoyed at shisui for potentially (though not intentionally) encouraging himi's crush and her own treatment of mangetsu....... yes <3

[morningberriesao3]

Guys,

I just hit HALF A MILLION WORDS published on my AO3. It feels surreal?!?!?!? that I wrote that many words, and also a huge accomplishment as someone who picks up hobbies and abandons them before seeing them through LOL

Anyway, huge shoutout to everyone who reads my work, especially those who leave kudos and comments, and those who like and reblog here on tumblr, too. I’ve made a lot of friendships bc of this fandom and fic writing, and it’s been such a fulfilling hobby to fill my free time. (End Oscars speech)

Anyway, below the cut is an excerpt from my most recent fic, Love the Way It Hurts So Deep which is a part 2 to Hate the Way It Feels So Good. I mean, I posted it as a second chapter instead of it’s own fic, but it’s 17K words and was supposed to stand alone initially.

CW: enemies to lovers but they’re ACTUALLY enemies, a lot of dub con content even though i promise they both want what’s happening more than anything, violence, spit kinks, maybe even blood kinks?!?!? idk just think of all the sadist and masochist shit and stuff it into this fic and that’s what it is.

18+ only

For the hundredth time tonight, Eddie trails his eyes over Steve in appreciation. But his soul is shining through his irises again, and there’s something else hiding inside of him that Steve can’t put his finger on. “You gonna tell me who put their hands on you now?”

“No.” Steve shakes out his fuzzy head, tries to push through the fog inside of it. “I mean, you don’t know them. Seriously.”

“Them?”

Steve stares into Eddie’s face as his features crumple within it. A million different emotions flutter on it, but it ultimately lands on something that looks like outrage.

“They won’t bother me again,” Steve says, because he has the urge to calm Eddie down. Make him feel better—even though he wasn’t the one who was tortured in a secret Russian base. His words seem to work, just a little, as Eddie bites back whatever it was he was going to say, and starts to pull his boxers back off. “Why? Are you jealous?”

Steve snaps his lips shut a little too late, the question falling out of him before he has the chance to realize he doesn’t really want to ask it.

Eddie pauses for a few long seconds, his boxers shoved halfway down his thighs. His eyes tick up to Steve’s, rimmed in wide white, making them seem too large for his face. “Yes, Steve, I’m jealous.”

It sounds like sarcasm.

He kicks off his shorts, his hands rubbing the tight skin under his navel, then the patch of hair that Steve wants to bury himself in, then down to his balls. His fingers wrap around them, give them a tug.

Steve stares unabashed—he figures Eddie’s doing it for his sake, anyway. Touching himself—putting himself on display—so he can watch the way Steve turns dumb and the way his cock leaks against his abdomen. Proof that he’s too wildly affected by just Eddie’s presence, just the visuals, just the thought of their bodies rolling together.

His lips get loose again, like the Truth Serum is back in his system. “Because you care about me?”

The muscles feather on Eddie’s jawline. He slowly crawls onto the bed, between Steve’s legs. He hovers there, not quite low enough for their bodies to touch the way Steve wants, but his hair fans around the sides of Steve’s face as he cranes his neck down.

“Because I fucking hate you.” Eddie’s hand is suddenly around Steve’s neck, squeezing against his airways tight enough that Steve’s grip flounders against the blankets, enough that he gasps in shock, but also for the air that is evading him. “You made my life a living hell, Harrington. I’m jealous because I should have been the one to make you bleed.”

[13as07]

Spitting Image #2

(Ino Yamanaka)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to shiino_9]

Requested by: Myself

Word Count: 3,738

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Okay I want your thoughts. I’m thinking part three is all Gaara being zaddy and trying to reconnect with his baby mama. Then part four is moving to the Sand Village. Yay? Nay? Idk :)

———————————————————————

     "Just breathe, it's all going to be okay," Ino whispers in my ear, gently squeezing my shoulders as she leads me down the road.

     I repeat her words in my head, eyes set on Yoshiki who's curled up in my arms. His chubby hands are raised, trying to get a grip on one of the strands of my hair. He giggles to himself, the ends of my hair tickling his chubby cheeks. Lord, he's so chubby and round and adorable.

     "You are adorable, my love," I coo, peppering his cheeks in kisses.

     "You're hogging him," Inojin complains, his hands wrapping around my arm to tug on it.

     "Inojin," Sai says, his tone calm as he smiles softly at his son. "Maybe let Ne-San carry Yoshiki for a while."

     "She has been carrying Yoshiki though. I want to hold him!"

     "Inojin!" Ino snaps, gripping her son's ear as she lectures him.

     "Ino," I call, shifting Yoshiki to my hip before I tap her shoulder. "It's okay, if he wants to hold him it’s fine. It'll probably be good, give me a chance to wiggle my nerves out of my system." I bend down, handing my son over to Inojin. He's quite responsible for his age, and always careful while holding Yoshiki.

     My son's eyes light up when he realizes who's holding him. I swear, he's just as attached to Inojin as Inojin is to him. Yoshiki takes hold of his hair, gripping it and using it to move the older boy's head around. Ino's son gushes over my baby, cooing at him as he takes slow careful steps down the road.

     The sight is nice, even if we are heading to my doom. It's been about a week since I ran into Shikamaru's brother-in-law. Gaara's older brother. Yoshiki's Uncle.

     After Ino managed to talk me out of the bathroom, she showed me pictures of Temari's and Shikamaru's wedding; more specifically pictures of Gaara, who turns out was the man from the one-night stand. It took about a week, but Sai and her managed to talk me into letting Gaara meet Yoshiki and me. Meet me again, in a sober mindset, with the lights on, and my legs closed this time.

     "You look pale, Ne-San. Are you nervous Gaara is going to want rights to Yoshiki?" Sai asks, getting a smack upside his head from his wife.

     "What the hell, Sai? You can't say stuff like that!" Ino hisses, gripping his ear like she was doing to her son a minute ago. My eyes stay trailed on the boys as Ino rips into her husband, the noise of their fighting filling the background.

     My mind spins with a million different possibilities and 'what if's about this meeting, about things going forward, about how Gaara is going to react.

     "Okay, I want Yoshiki back," I mutter when the restaurant we're meeting at falls into view.

     "Ne-San!" He whines, clinging to my son more.

     "Please don't fight with me about this Inojin. I'll let you feed him at lunch," I try to bribe him, sliding my hands between his arms to wrap Yoshiki in my hold.

     "Really?! You mean it?"

     "I mean it," I echo, resting my son on my hip. Inojin tucks himself into my side, the one my kid is resting on as he continues to coo at him. My grip tightens as Yoshiki tries to throw himself at Inojin, calming my nervousness a bit again. The sight clams me a bit. It's adorable how much the boys love each other.

     "Shoo, go run ahead and say hi to Shinki or something," Ino complains, trying to wave her son ahead. Reluctantly he does as he's told, racing ahead and disappearing into the restaurant. "Alright Mamas, how are we feeling?" She asks me, gripping my shoulder again.

     "She's probably not doing too well. We're about two steps away from her life changing forever, hopefully for the better," Sai mumbles, doing his weird 'I'm trying to be comforting but I actually look creepy as hell' smile.

     "Sai!" Ino screeches again, ramping up her lecture.

     After a couple of minutes filled with their heated back and forth, I decided waiting in the restaurant would be better than listening to the Yamanaka screaming match. The restaurant atmosphere is quite calming, with dark soft reds, and gentle music playing in the background.

     Yoshiki's head swerves around, taking in all the soft lights and the colorful coverings of the lights. "You like the colors?" I ask him, shifting him up further so I can whisper in his ear. Giggles erupt from him, his small hands squishing my cheeks as he enjoys the lights.

     "Oh, you like that one, don't you?" I ask another unanswered question, walking towards the soft red-colored covering that has caught his eyes. I settle us underneath it. Watching Yosh watching the coloring. "Do you know what color that is? It's red, just like your hair," I tell him, twirling one of his strands around my fingertip. "Your hair is red, chief Akimich has red hair, and... and..."

     "And his dad's hair is red," a voice from behind me butts in. My nerves are on edge as I turn around. My grip tightens on my son as the man from the flower shop - Yoshiki's Uncle stands a couple of paces behind me. "Gaara has red hair," he reiterates as if it's something I don't know.

     "Ya, I know. It's why I was attracted to him," I mutter, scanning the entrance for Ino and then the restaurant for Inojin.

     Ino might not fall into my view but her son does. He's sat at one of the large tables in the restaurant, a group of about six people or so with him, making my heart flutter faster with anxiety. My eyes stay locked on the boy, hoping he'll notice me and bring some familiarity to this uncomfortable moment.

     "You got a thing for redheads, little lady?"

     "Don't call me that," I mutter, anger bubbled in my words. My nerves are rubbing off on Yoshiki who's starting to stir, his pre-cry whines falling from him.

     "Oh hush, love," I coddle him, covering his forehead in kisses. "You don't need to go and get upset just because mommy is. You're fine," I continue to coo, moving him around like a bird as I walk us around the restaurant, leaving his Uncle and some of my anxiety behind.

     Yosh giggles because of it, 'flying' like a bird being pretty high up in his list of favorite things. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," I hum to him, continuing our laps around the room as I wait for Ino to join us. "You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear how much I love you," I continue to sing to him, resting him against me again. "Please don't take my sunshine away," I finish off, littering his chubby cheeks in kisses.

     "Ne-San!" Inojin calls, leaning over the table he's at as he waves at me. "Come here! It's almost six o'clock, Yoshiki needs his bottle."

     I sigh softly at the boy's knowledge of my son's schedule. It's useful when I'm busy, but not useful at this moment. "You might not know how much I love you but you sure as heck will know how much big brother Inojin loves you," I tell my son, holding him in front of me so he can dangle. He doesn't do his newborn scrunch anymore, which makes me a bit sad.

     "What do you say we go over to Inojin? You want to see Inojin?" I ask him, getting happy babbles as a response.

     I cuddle him against me again, my heart slamming against my chest as I head towards the table. Yoshiki's Uncle has rejoined the table, his wife - presumably - is sitting next to him, in similar purple makeup as her husband. Shikamaru and Shikadai are sitting next to them, looking more like twins the longer I look at them. There's a blonde lady next to them, Yoshiki's opal-colored eyes staring at me from the lady's face. That must be Temari.

     The spitting image of my son is sitting next to the blonde girl, repeatedly blinking as he stares at me and my son, our son. A boy about Inojin's and Shikadai's age sitting silently next to him.

     Yoshiki is unfazed, his attention on trying to grip my hair again. Soon his hands fall from my hair to my mouth, trying to shove his hands into it. This is his new thing, like two days ago new thing. "Yosh," I coo, moving his hands away from my mouth. "We don't do that. No, we don't," I tell him, pressing kisses to his small hands.

     "You're hogging him! Ne-San! You promised I could feed him. Give me, give me, give me," Inojin whines, turning around in his seat and trying to take grip of my son.

     "Ya, ya, ya," I mumble, carefully placing Yoshiki into his arms. My eyes stay locked on my son, worried about this Gaara guy or anyone else at the table jumping at him while I dig for his bottle.

     "There you are, mamas!" Ino calls, jumping on me as she wraps her arms around my shoulders. "And look at that, Yosh is already back in Inojin's arms. I swear at this rate Ino is going to have a permanent imprint of Yoshiki on his arms," she teases, sending me a soft smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. Ino's eyes are soft, a silent 'are you okay?' being sent by them.

     "Yoshiki? As in fortunate?" Gaara asks, his face scrunched up as he looks between me and my - our son. 

     "No, Yoshiki as in blessed. Like a blessing, since he's my blessing," I mutter the last half, tugging his bottle out of the diaper bag. Despite the fears and anxieties I've felt today, I managed to hold it together enough to prep for dinner. Pre-measured formula in his bottle so all I need is warm water.

     "Aw, that's cute!" Temari beams, sending a not-so-secret glare towards her brothers.

     "Oh, ya. Adorable," Purple-man echoes, getting kicked by his wife under the table.

     "Yes and no. It was my father's name," I mutter, setting Yosh's bottle on the table as I scan for a waitress.

     "Don't worry Ne-San! I already ordered some warm water for you, it should be out soon," Ino's son says, focusing still on making faces to entertain Yosh.

     "Thank you, Inojin," I praise, resting my hands on his shoulders before pecking his forehead. I lean down a bit further, kissing my son's head too before I slide into the seat next to the boys.

     Ino quickly sits down on the other side of the boys. Sai goes to sit next to me in the only spare chair, getting a pointed look from his wife.

     "How about we play musical chairs!" Temari cheers, locking eyes with Ino. Shikadai sends his mom a weird look, his father mimicking it as they stare at her together. "You stay right there... um... ma'am? You boys stay there too," Temari struggles out, ordering Inojin to stay still.

     "Temari - " The oldest brother starts, quickly getting cut off by his sister.

     "Get up Kankuro," she hisses, quickly standing to her feet, husband and son in tow.

     Everyone shuffles around, raising my anxiety even more. When everyone settles back down, seats have been changed completely. Inojin is still holding Yoshiki, then me, followed by Gaara, the kid who sat next to him earlier, Shikadai, his parents, the Kankuro man and his wife, with Ino, and Sai sat by their son to start the circle again.

     "So..." Shikamaru mumbles, breaking the silence and getting a warning glare from his wife. It's almost funny how much Temari and Ino seem to be. "Gaara and you have two kids, that's cool."

     "Two?" I ask, snapping my head towards the Nara chief.

     "Shikamaru!" Temari and Ino both yell, startling Yoshiki enough for wails and tears to spill from him. "Shut up," Temari hissed at her husband, pairing it with a smack to the back of his head. Well, that solved the mystery on the silent kid with red face paint. I assumed it was Kankuro's kid, I guess not.

     "We're going to step out for a moment," I murmur, snatching Yoshiki from Inojin's arms. "Do you mind making his bottle?" I ask the older boy, patting his head before quickly heading back out of the restaurant, crying baby in tow. By the time I get out the door, into the chilled air, tears are spilling from me too, mine being from stress instead of fear.

                        ———————————

     The door to the restaurant creaks open, upsetting Yoshiki more. The more upset he gets, the more upset I get, continuing the cycle of unchecked emotions. "Please calm down, love," I coo, rocking him in my arms again.

     "Would you like some help?" Ino asks, her tone gentle as an attempt to help calm me down.

     "No, I have it under control," I hiss out, causing Yosh to shriek again.

     "You've been out here for twenty minutes. That isn't 'having it under control'," Ino points out, shifting to stand in front of me.

     I have to turn my head up to look at her, courtesy of being sat on the ground, back to the wall. "Okay, maybe I don't have it under control. I'm freaking out. Gaara has a kid. A different kid! And our dinner went from the six of us to a party of twelve of us. What... what the hell? What the hell, Ino? I'm actually meeting Gaara, like for real, and his brother, and his sister-in-law, and his sister, and her family, and I can't calm down long enough to get Yoshiki to calm down, and what the hell?"

     "I know, I know. It's a lot to handle right now. There's a lot of people and it's a lot of new and a lot of stress, but this will be good, right?" She asks, falling to kneel on the ground in front of me. "Yoshiki will get to have a relationship with his dad, with his older brother, with his family. He'll get more family to love him, you'll get more family to love you."

     I lean forward, resting my head on Ino's shoulder. "I don't know. What if it doesn't work out? What if Gaara wants to take Yoshiki? What if he wants nothing to do with Yosh? Then what? 'Sorry kid, your dad was too established in the sand village to give a shit about us, but hey your mom tried her best'? What kind of life is that for my son?"

     Ino lets out a sigh, rubbing my shoulders to soothe me. "I don't think that's going to happen, and even if it does then fuck Gaara. If worst comes to worst, you two will still have us. You'll still have Sai, and Inojin, and me. We can be our own little family of five."

     I let out a sigh of my own, my stress still high and only climbing higher the more Yoshiki cries. "Alright mamas, you need to calm down. The more you freak out, the more he's going to freak out."

     "I know, I know. It doesn't help that he's hungry either," I mutter into her shoulder, my angry tears soaking into her shirt. "I just... I can't go back in yet."

"Okay, okay. I have an idea - that you can totally say no to. Remember, you're the mamas, your baby, your rules," Ino starts, rubbing my shoulders faster as she rests her cheek against my head. "I'll take Yoshiki inside and get him calmed down and fed. You can hang out here and get yourself put together before you join the table again, okay? Worse case you decide this isn't the right time or space to do this and we replan, okay mamas?"

"Ya... ya that's... probably for the better," I mutter, reluctantly letting her take Yoshiki from my arms. I don't like the thought of him being around Gaara without me, but I know if I don't take some space to calm down, I'm just going to keep winding Yosh up. Besides, my poor love is probably starving since his feeding time was about twenty-five minutes ago.

Ino takes him from me, pressing a kiss to my head before she leaves me alone outside the restaurant, giving me the time I need to calm myself down.

                        ———————————

     I brush my hands over my pants, dusting off the dust from the sidewalk. As I'm cleaning myself, the restaurant door creaks open. "I'm sorry," I mutter, shifting out of the way.

     "You are not in the way... -San," the young voice struggles with the last word, not sure what to call me.

     My eyes settle on the boy, the same one that I left sitting next to Gaara at the table. His eyes are a green color, not the same as his father’s or Yoshiki’s, a darker green. It reminds me of the forest. His face paint is red unlike his Uncle, and cups his eyes in a way that makes them stand out. It's weird how much my - our - son looks like Gaara and how little his older son looks like him.

     "Your kid screams a lot," the boy mutters, shifting around. His black cloak moves with him weirdly, like it's not made of cloth. "He's okay now though. Inojin is feeding him and that seemed to quiet him down."

     "Yoshiki is a little stressed and he's too young to be able to understand what he's feeling."

     "He can't even talk, what could he be stressed about?"

     "He's stressed because I'm stressed."

     The kid looks at me for a moment, head tilted and face scrunched as he sizes me up. "He looks a lot like my Papa."

     "Yes, he does."

     Silence falls between us, the boy slowly blinking as he stares at me. My eyes jump around the road, looking for something other than the child to look at. "Papa doesn't cry."

     "No?" I ask, internally screaming. What have I gotten myself into? What kind of man did I accidentally choose as the father of my child? What the hell is up with his kid?

     "No... he cried when Aunt Temari told him you agreed to meet him again, to let him meet..."

     "Yoshiki."

     "When you agreed to let us meet Yoshiki."

     "I'm sorry I made your dad cry," I murmur, glancing around the empty street again.

     "Uncle Kankuro calls you 'The Leaf Village Margarita Lady'."

"Ya?" I ask, shifting my weight around. The conversation is very uncomfortable and the need to check on Yoshiki is building with every passing second. I see my out when the restaurant door creams open again.

"Shinki?" The soothing voice that whispered sweet nothings into my ear sixteen months ago calls, making the kid's head turn. Shinki and Yoshiki, it has a nice ring to it. So much for my out though. "Hello," Gaara says, tone a bit panicked when his eyes settle on me.

His panic only grows as his eyes flicker between his son and myself. "My greatest apologies for anything Shinki might have said," Gaara rushes out, leaning forward and grabbing his son by the collar of his shirt tucked under the not normal cloak. "His social skills are a bit - "

"- like his father's?" I ask, cutting Gaara's sentence off.

"Yes," he mumbles, just a hint of pink dusting his cheeks. The sight makes my mind flicker to... the creation of Yoshiki. Gaara was all kinds of pink that night, it was a sight I enjoyed quite a bit. It was hot, a big shot Shinobi stumbling over his words and blushing because I was flirting with him, because I was doing a hell of a lot more than flirting. "I hope he didn't say anything insensitive."

"No, your kid has a good set of manners. Though, he did tell me your older brother calls me the margarita lady."

Gaara's flusteredness deeps, the color of his cheeks proving that and tugging a small smile to my face. "I am sorry for Kankuro too. I know your first meeting with him wasn't... up to par. I am sorry for the nickname as well."

"It's fine," I mutter, my eyes switching between Shinki and Gaara. Whoever his child's mother is must have some pretty strong genes to outweigh Gaara's. Stronger than mine, that's for sure.

     "Mamas!" Ino's voice rings out, the door slamming open as she pushes her way out. "Gosh at this rate we're all going to be out here."

     Ino and I both nervously laugh, only making Gaara pinker and his son even more unamused. "Might as well tell everyone we're eating out here now," I murmur, focus set on my friend. Her attention is set on me, eyes asking if I'm okay again. The answer is a big fat no but I don't voice it. "I should go check on Yoshiki," I announce, skirting past Gaara and squeezing through the door.

     I can sense Ino behind me even before she wraps her arms around my shoulders for the millionth time tonight. "Dear Lord, Mamas. Gaara looked like he wanted to eat you whole."

     "He did not!"

     "He did too," she giggles, using her hold on me to shake me around. "Look at you, having the Sand Hokage all flustered and blushing. Not to mention your kid is the spitting image of him. Not to put it out in the world and ruin it or anything, but I think Gaara is going to take care of you two."

     I know she means it in good light, but the thought terrifies me. All the 'what if's circling my head, the main one being 'what if Yoshiki and me end up trapped'? I don't know anything about this man, about his family, about his expectations, about his wants for himself, for Yoshiki, for me. He was supposed to be a one-night stand, a high and fly, not the father of my son.

     "Stop worrying, mamas. Everything will be alright," Ino whispers in my ear, gently squeezing my shoulders. When the sight of Yoshiki giggling in joy because his uncle is blowing raspberries into his cheeks falls into view, a small piece of me wants to believe her.

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[baltears]

idk how else to describe this like i think the kind of traditionalist/hyperliteral read of buffy not catching feelings for spike until late s5/s6 just misses the level of iron grip buffy keeps on her feelings. apropos of nothing other than seeing this read one too many times and im not up on my buffy meta scholarship so forgive me if im making the same points everyone and their mother has been making for the past two decades

keeping tight control over her feelings is not something buffy started doing after a certain point, it's a behavior she has coming into the pilot bc we see that at that point there's already a level of emotional distance between her and joyce (not only re the slayer stuff and the later retconned-in betrayal & invalidation trauma from being thrown in an institution when she tried to tell her parents the truth, but also for instance the intensity of buffy's distress over the divorce). she already has a home life consisting of not voicing most of her difficult and 'close to the chest' emotions. when she tries to be genuine in a way that asks for space for her frustration or anger or more 'selfish' feelings, this is often not met with understanding (worth mentioning that giles does a MUCH better job on this than joyce for the most part, but other characters including willow and xander respond poorly a substantial number of times). as a result she is well practiced at suppressing emotions that are too inconvenient or complicated to feel acceptable to verbalize, so she tends to just kind of whistle past things that feel hard to tackle until she reaches a point where she can no longer bear to ignore them. this is a core part of her canon characterization that is also visible at many points in buffy's relationship with angel (s3 comes to mind, when she spends a good chunk of the season operating under the convenient belief that they're in a functional platonic friendship when she subconsciously knows they are still too hung up on each other for that to be feasible). so like we know this is something buffy does. it is not at all unusual for her to feel things that she keeps beneath her conscious awareness + does not allow herself to process and admit to having felt until well after the fact.

this takes me to the oft cited point that from the first time she interacts with spike, there is a different vibe happening than is typical for buffy and vamps. it just feels very obvious to me that from basically minute one (or maybe more accurately from their first fight, when she isn't so much on the back foot) she registers him on some level as a person who happens to be really interesting and hot, but has a fairly easy time of it keeping this feeling out of her conscious awareness bc 1) he's also an unsouled vamp, meaning she can choose to dismiss his personhood as nonexistent and his personality as mere performance or game-playing (ie he is not a 'real' person, therefore the relationship need not be acknowledged as 'real' either – taken to extremes in s6 when she has to actively abuse him and continually reaffirm his lack of humanity and lack of worth in order to sustain the self-told belief that she doesnt see or experience his personhood and doesnt feel a human connection with him), 2) they're mortal enemies, 3) he likes to be really annoying on purpose + as a vampire also has a baseline level of generally acting like a bit of a creep, and 4) for much of their relationship she has other romantic objects on whom she can more acceptably focus her attention (insert reference to spuffy being a queer coded relationship here).

i think this state of noticing-slash-not-noticing persists from 2.03 through s3&4 and into season 5. by then she is so good at studiously ignoring how weird and flirtatious and intense their dynamic has always been that the revelation that spike is now acting very obviously like hes in love with her, to the extent that someone else could notice, takes her totally by surprise. getting more specific idk how else one could possibly explain how her ass was acting in something blue pre-spell, like i absolutely canNOT see buffy behaving like that around any other vamp literally ever. they were both being so unceasingly annoying with their creepy little flirty back and forth that both giles and willow were completely over it and just wanted them to shut up and stop paying so much attention to each other. ig the point im getting at is i think it's weird and dont get it when ppl seem to read buffy's character as if shes basically just saying the things she feels and vice versa rather than like regularly and even habitually lying to herself, bc i just don't think that's in line with the character that we're shown. buffy SAYS for a very long time that she doesnt care about spike and basically says and does everything possible to deny that she has any attachment to him at all, but frankly i think the level of aggression and frequency with which she expresses variations on that sentiment in and of itself gives the lie to that idea. anyways i think she was down bad pretty much immediately and just took a very long time to let herself notice

[drifloonz]

*Cough*

*Coughhhh*

Strangle Red(Steven) cuddle headcanons for the simp n single plzz.

i was gunna go on hiatus and close requests temporarily bc theyve just been piling up but Ehhhhhhhhhh. This ones easy i might as well dripfeed people content. got nothin' else 2 do!

anyways

steven cuddling headcanons <3

____

♡ man's got a grip on him. due to his extreme self-isolation and therefore under socialization, he doesn't really remember... how to like... hug well. he knows how to do it, but it's been years and he also isn't exactly aware of his own strength, y'know? this means he'll usually hug you really tight, more than he means to but he doesn't notice it's too tight, usually.

♡ due to this if you ask for cuddles, the first few times it may be kind of awkward because he's not really aware that he's squeezing you too tight unless you make it obvious ( eg making noise or looking really visibly uncomfortable )

♡ he's perceptive though, and he'll eventually notice this and loosen up a lot. he's a very good cuddler once this happens... he's almost definitely way taller*, bigger, and built* than you, so it's like cuddling with a big comfy teddybear. he's warm and nice.

*( i personally hc him as 6'5 or taller to a mostly unnatural/uncommon degree like idk 6'9+ ),

*( if you like your stevens more muscly or dad-bod-esk, which i HC his body being like that in his later adult life anyways. although he was very skinny, weak, scrawny and underate in his teenage after-incident years due to not taking care of himself in my own personal headcanons cuz' i mean. makes sense. checks out. depression and spiralling does a lot of that to a mf. )

♡ when you cuddle while he's asleep, his hugs loosen up a lot because he's genuinely happy and calm around you, especially when he's asleep. although, if he's having a nightmare or is visibly stressed he'll be squeezing you as if you were dying in his arms and he wasn't ready to have you go... huh. Might be related to that nightmare. And also the general fear of losing people he loves. #lol

♡ he loves making you feel safe, and if cuddles do that for you he's going to take almost every opportunity to let you do that with him. he especially finds it cute when you nuzzle into the space between his neck and shoulder, or lay your head on his chest. it feels... nice.

♡ he also makes small snores and huffs and mumbles when he sleeps. his chest is very rumbly and the vibrations feel nice against your body. probably the type to sorta sleeptalk. maybe even sleepwalk but that ones arguable, although i see him doing it. horrible mental image of him somehow sleepwalking while still cuddling you, so he's just carrying you while he groggily walks around his own house.

♡ speaking of sleeptalking, this definitely isn't me projecting a headcanon i got from a character.ai rp, but he'll often sleeptalk about you, or when he's having particularly good dreams he'll be reminiscing on his nostalgic days with miki, and audibly saying and doing the things he's doing in his dream. this leads to him awkwardly petting you in real life thinking you're miki and not being aware of it unless you mention it to him, in which he'll get embarrassed but try to play it cool and also ask if you liked it. it's a little cute, though.

♡ speaking of, miki sleeps at the foot of you two's bed and takes up half of the bed /hj

♡ technically related, he sometimes hugs you in public ( if you somehow get him outside in the public eye ) if he's jealous, but it's moreso "putting a protective arm over your shoulder" type gesture. he'll also just do it as a protective measure even if nobody's making him jealous. he's a little paranoid of you replacing him or finding someone better, because to him it probably isn't that hard. Bpd moment.

♡ he will not tell you this outright but he really likes the feeling of your hands running through his messy, tangled hair when you two cuddle. it's nice. if he could purr He Would. he does make little rumbly chest vibrations with his noises sometimes which, close enough ig

♡ if you snore or make any noises or sleeptalk or do anything like that, he finds it very cute and endearing. if you sleeptalk especially he might quietly respond back just to see if your very unconscious brain replies to him. he's curious. and finds it cute to tease you even in that state.

♡ if you two are a little further in your relationship, he'll often give you some slow, chaste kisses when you two cuddle. he doesn't do this earlier mostly because he's sort of bad at knowing when the right time to do that would've been, or if you'd like it... so he still doesn't do it often, unless you initiate it a lot. then he gains that confidence back and teases and kisses you a lot more often.

♡ you will Not escape his arms if he doesn't want you to. they're big and he's strong. if he wants 5 more minutes when you two wake up, you are HAVING 5 more minutes. unless he feels particularly merciful and lets you go, or if you get out of his arms when they're loose ( aka when he's sleeping, since they loosen up a decent amount if he's comfortable and asleep )

♡ steven's almost always the big spoon due to him enjoying it a decent chunk more since he likes being protective and holding you, but in most cuddling hcs i like to think the both of you are facing each other when you cuddle anyways. equal amount of attention and cuddling. that's how steven likes it as well, i'd think.

♡ speaking of which he is very clingy with you and cuddles and hugs indulge him. he can just keep you there if he wants. he's usually nice enough and will let you go if you complain enough or really need to do something ( eat, go to the bathroom, shower, whatever )... but he finds it funny to keep you there sometimes. he'll never genuinely not let you go unless he's feeling extremely overprotective or had a really bad nightmare and wants your comfort but is too afraid to directly ask.

...or he's afraid of you getting hurt like how miki and also mike but steven doesn't want to think about mike did when he let his guard down, and then becomes overprotective due to that, since he's afraid of leaving you alone without him and thinks you'll get hurt.

♡ anyways! on a lighter note he's so big that you could probably sleep on top of his body and he wouldn't mind, probably. he sort of likes the weight. you Are his weighted blanket that he needs so desperately but is too lazy to order off of éBay ( get it. é. like the pokémon é. god i should make a pokemon irl blog with my sona or something some day. anyways. )

♡ semirelated by technicality in the sense that its about touching him, please god massage steven. specifically his spine and his back. his borderline scoliosis quickly became Regular Scoliosis after the incident and it's only ever gotten worse. he will appreciate it. he also will do the same if you also have back problems which tbh if you're reading this, you probably have back problems. [ PROJECTS MY ISSUES ]

♡ very good cuddler but he is clingy sometimes and very strong overall very good 5/5 star review on yelp ( i dont know why i end every request with this it's sort of hard to end requests in general )(*&^ )

thank you for requesting !

[mathisshiftss]

A scenario in my coffee shop dr

When Emily fakes her death and Spencer has a breakdown in my arms

Warnings: Death, violence, breakdown, comfort kisses, men crying, maybe more idk

I’m reading in bed, a book that I have read a million times before. The main character reminds me of Spencer, which is why I continue to reread it. He’s away on a case, I haven’t spoke to him in at least 30 hours.

Randomly, I hear the door open. It’s about 2:00 A.M and the door closed very quietly. It was definitely Spencer. He trudges into the room, seemingly lost in deep thought. I look up at him and he has tears in his eyes.

“Hey, Spence.” I say softly, setting the book down. “I didn’t hear you come in.” I lie.

“Hey.” He says weakly and he crawls into bed with me, not bothering to change. I look a him, concerned.

“Are you okay?” I ask softly. My hand finds his face, turning him toward me. He shakes his head and I immediately pull him close. “What happened? Bad case?”

He nods and leans into me, sobbing into my shoulder. I’m shocked for a moment before rubbing his back gently. The scene breaks my heart. We sit up so I can hug him easier.

“What happened?” I ask gently, keeping a strong persona on for him. I rub his back comfortingly. His head is buried in my shoulder.

“She’s gone.” He manages. My hand stops for a moment. “I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.”

My face drops and I turn my head so I can kiss his hair.

“Who?” I ask gently. He lets out a sob.

“Emily.” He says. His voice is weak. I had met Emily many times. I’d consider her a friend. My face turns white.

“What?” I ask. I bury my face in Spencer’s shoulder. I cannot cry. I cannot cry while he’s crying. I rub his back gently, comforting him with tenderness.

“I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.” He says again, his hold on me tightens a bit. He’s still sobbing, he probably will be for a while.

Maybe half an hour later he’s all cried-out. He’s still clinging to me with his head buried in my shoulder. I pull his head up so I can look at him. It breaks my heart, to see his eyes full of tears and grief.

“Hey, honey.” I say gently. I wipe his tears away. I hold his face in my hands, careful not to hurt him any. “You’re gonna be okay.”

Usually I’d ask, ‘are you gonna be okay?’ Because that’s usually better for him, but right now I know he needs definite reassurance.

“You’re okay.” I whisper. I kiss the tears away that managed to escape the pads of my thumbs.

“Matt, I don’t know what to do.” He mumbles. His voice is weak. “I can’t go back there.”

“She wouldn’t want your life to stop just because hers did.” I whisper. He clenches his jaw and nods. “Take some time off, I will too.”

“You’re right.” He mumbles. “She can’t be gone.”

His face falls into my chest and I feel my shirt get wet with tears. I put my head on his as he cries, holding him carefully. I kiss his hair and gently run my hand through it.

“It’s okay, Spence.” I whisper. My hand runs up and down his back. He is gripping my shirt tightly as he cries. “You’re gonna be okay.”

[lunar-insanity]

HEY! OCTO FANDOM! MOSTLY 2 BUT 1 CAN ALSO BE HERE

Let's have a fun what if scenario.

If one little thing was changed in the Travelers' stories that didn't necessarily spell the end of the world, but would definitely ripple and result in "Bad Ends" for the travelers, what would that change be?

I asked my friend this and we got at least 3 for Octo 2.

In this scenario, the idea is to change the travelers' pasts or current journeys to end in a bad way but not "Oh God Vide is here" end, because it would actually fuck up a few plans. Granted I'm purely thinking of Oboro's plan, idk how you would interfere with Arcanette and Petrichor but REGARDLESS.

What would send the travelers onto wrong or different paths?

My 2 cents were for Partitio and Hikari.

For Partitio, the change would be: He went with Roque when Roque asked him to come with.

Poverty was a life changing experience for Partitio, and it's a big part of how he became who he is in Canon. So what happens if you take that away? He wouldn't have that experience anymore, and is likely in Clockbank or primarily on the eastern continent doing his thing while possibly VERY unaware of what is happening in Oresrush. Why is he unaware? Is Roque possibly keeping correspondence from Oresrush from Parti on account of being in cahoots with Giff? Did Oresrush just end up being unable to really send letters anymore? (Probably)

It's just a huge sense of "This really isn't where you should be."

Then for Hikari, the change would be: He gets too scared of the Shadow.

It could happen possibly after any of the three attempted Shadow takeovers, like the first fight against Ritsu in Ku, in Montwise, or Wellgrove. Each time in canon, Hikari manages to fight the shadow off and not give in.

But what if it did happen, and he ended up killing either Ritsu, or Zoro, or General Rou while in the Shadow's grips, and he just loses all his bravery and courage because of it.

Because [Spoilers] when Shadow's Hold changes to Light's Radiance, one of the voice lines is now "I won't be afraid, and he admits that before he was afraid of the Shadow anymore. But now in this scenario, he's too afraid.

He feels like he's too dangerous, too unpredictable, unworthy. And thus his quest is abandoned then and there.

The one my friend suggested was for Throné: She takes over the Blacksnakes.

Why, I'm not sure, but this would change her arc (but she may or may not go the way of Claude). Perhaps the change is during her travels or at some point in the past, and the wish for freedom is now overridden by whatever made her become the new 'Mother' of the Blacksnakes.

Edit: Thinkin' more on it, maybe a better way to put it would be: She's not as offput by blood as she is in canon Cause that would probably feed into this idea even more.

AND SO! I POSIT TO YOU, OCTOPATH FANDOM! What else could be changed to cause a ripple effect for the worse in the travelers' stories? I'm mainly thinking of Octo 2, but please do add in Octo 1 if you have any ideas! I wanna see what y'all can come up with!

[wardingshout]

your ALTTP drawings are so cool <3333 and your artstyle looks awesome!

What are 3 things that inspire you to draw?

thank you so much I'm so excited to hear people like them !!! ;v; I have sooo many things I want to draw that are super challenging for me right but I hope I can get to do all of them at some point !!!!

I feel like it's almost hard to narrow smth down to 3 things bc So many things inspire me to draw ! (my struggle is more so in motivation and energy department I guess)

I ended up typing a lot bc I got excited but I think these 3 are my biggest ones !

1) Nostalgia! especially when felt from environments around me or in little random moments! I always end up with a bunch of random photos of like environments or buildings or the clouds on my phone bc I felt a certain way in a certain moment and while my memory is pretty bad, snapping that photo usually helps me revisit that moment even if it may have been on some random day! and while not rly related to feeling there's also always smth fun to see around like the shape of a tree or the way shadows fall or colours ! maybe it's more about general vibes than nostalgia hmm...

I definitely don't draw environments as often as I'd like to and even when I do I haven't posted much but even so it's smth that fills me with a want to draw! to try and also bring out that kind of nostalgia or warmth !

I want to do more edgy dramatic stuff too but trying to make warm feelings has too strong a grip on me haha

2) Video games a lot a lot !! and other media too!! I absolutely love creating fanworks, I'm just a nerd and I want to share and show my love for stuff !!

video games are especially fun bc I already get to spend my time in x world and depending on what game it is that either means being bombarded with interesting visuals, fun little moments to recreate or for visually "simpler" games you get to imagine it in a 3d space all on your own and I love that ! like right now of course I'm losing my mind over alttp but in the past, games like Yume Nikki (and fangames), older pokemon games and Star Stealing Prince have had this exact effect on me too !

for a little add on I wanna say I used to worry a lot about accuracy and it could make fanworks pretty intimidating but one of my friends (shoutout to Cai) said smth earlier this year that I cannot for the life of me remember right now But it completely changed my mindset to instead be like. it's more important to make up my own interpretation of stuff rather than make sure everyone agrees it's accurate right? I can't even remember it right now but it completely changed the way I played games since like Bloodborne and Zeldas bc rather than worry about getting things instantly Right in my brain I would discover little lore pieces at my own time and instead try to put stuff together in my own way and idk games have been infinitely more fun since And it's inspiration machine to me !!

3) and most of all other people's art !!!! I could spend days browsing the internet just looking at all the amazing things people make and it's so contagious to me ! even if I couldn't ever create the kinds of things I enjoy seeing myself I can't help but feel so inspired and motivated to create something too no matter how it ends up!

creating an inspiration folder for myself that's full of just Anything like environments and character art and photos and colour schemes has been on of the best things I've done for myself! I rarely look at other stuff When I draw (for worse imo, like I rly need to get better at referencing) but if I ever feel stuck I can look through that and almost instantly find smth that kicks me in gear ! sometimes I see art and it's amazing and impressive and sometimes I see it and just think "man that looks like it was so Fun I want to have fun too!" and both work perfectly for me! :D

anyway uuuuh take pictures of nice things and save cool stuff there's always smth to be inspired by in little things! here's a little collection of random photos of my own from the past year that make me happy and also go !!!!!! (not a lot of city stuff tho bc usually ppl are on those )

I ended up going through my camera roll and it was so hard to pick stuff bc everything made me go !!! ocean and buildings are the big themes tho only one shows here haha

[jenyifer]

Only friends 8/10 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

About a group of friends and the destruction of that friend group in a web of lies betrayals and revenge. The music and sets are beautiful amazing I literally listened to every song they carefully choose for each scene it was genius. Every character was morally grey and complex. Really showed queer stories. I’m a lesbian and there was many many times I could see my own life experiences in the characters. You will find a character to relate to and many of them you will fall in love with for whatever reason. The acting was fantastic ForceBook FirstKhaotung NeoMark deserve all the recognition and awards for their performances. I was surprised at the realism and twists the story took which is very rare for me I have to watch sci-fi horror films at home because I’ll guess the ending and get bored but who would have guessed a Thai Bl would stump me multiple times. I won’t change BostonNick’s story line to me their scenes even with being cut short with what feels like major parts missing is a 10/10. A real journey of the heart and I was hurt and also in love with the conclusion. The series is worth watching again and again for them.

Now…. You’ll notice it isn’t a 10/10… I’m going to get honest with you after the break. So If you don’t want my critique then leave.

I’m going to talk about my grips and how I’d fix them now and why I can’t I’m good conscious forgive these things.

1. Loss of the each episode for a character like the interviews or social media. I felt like these would have given us another angle on those boys. I understand they were trying to edit for the fans but… it is extremely sad. The first 4 episodes are perfection in my opinion.

2. Cheum is terrible lesbian representation. She’s a terrible character. I hate to think this is what queer men think lesbians are. She disappointed me over and over. I’d rather her not be in the story at all.

3. The glossing over of Boston’s torture throughout the series. Mew Cheum and Ray should have apologized to him. I wish Mew and Ray had been better friends in general I felt like I wanted to see the trio trying to incorporate eachother in their lives before the final episode. I wanted to believe at some point they cared for eachother. I wanted them to miss Boston when he was gone and to be guilty for what they fucking did.

4. Top and Mew terrible pairing. Mew is my least favorite character of all time. I have alot to relate to mew on. But he never became a character I could root for. Vindictive and Spiteful. I don’t know if he loved top or not. I don’t foresee that relationship lasting. I liked Top but you could see the bland oatmeal coating they gave him half way through I want the messy angry boy. I did want him to gain happiness but I doubt mew could ever give it to him. I will forever skip their boring scenes I’m glad I no longer have a reason to watch them. To fix this I would have made Mew nosey supportive into Ray and Boston’s lives just him being able to have long term friends would have made his character seem like he was capable of affection. To fix the TopMew scenes? Idk they always felt uneven Top tried so hard Mew was never punished for what he did. Mew became a worse person so maybe reverse that.

5. SandRay I love them I truely relate to Ray so deeply. However the way Ray treated Sand over and over wasn’t right. I hated it. His apologies to sand rang hollow he didn’t back them up. Sand adores Ray and I wish Ray adored Sand just as much but that’s not true. I have hope Ray would mature though.

Over all to fix things I would have given it more episodes there was clearly scenes missing structure that should have been there. I think the problem was the ships had to be so segmented from eachother. Top and Mew could have benefited from more of them interacting with Ray and Cheum. The actual friendship bonds explored would have helped. I also wish they hadn’t swept Bostons revenge P and expose account under the board. Ray having real change in attitude towards sand would have been rewarding as well. I hope there is a season 2 so badly. I have to see BostonNick get their healthy happy ending too.

[gleekto]

Klaine Advent 2022: Chemistry Sucks (9/?)

Summary: Nerd!Kurt/ Popular!Blaine high school AU - Kurt joins Glee club in his junior year to please his dad, though he’d rather just hide out in the library until he can graduate and get out of Lima.

Turns out he’s not the only gay kid in town. Too bad the other out gay kid is cocky and popular senior, Blaine Anderson. Sure of himself, gets all the solos, things served to him on a platter. Kurt finds him shallow and infuriating.

Blaine finds Kurt square and irritating.

Yet at a party one night, they promise to sleep together if they don’t have other opportunities by the end of the year. A dare. Naturally competitive spirits.

Day 1, Day 2,Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6, Day 7, Day 8

Chemistry Sucks (Day 9: Value)

Kurt isn't exactly sure why this dumb competitive bet with Blaine has so drastically shifted the dynamic between them, but somehow since Regionals, Blaine has gone from not wanting to be associated with the nerdy gay junior to his BFF. Or maybe not quite his BFF, but Blaine sure does text him a lot.

Or maybe it wasn't the bet. Maybe it was the winning duet. Kurt having proved himself an asset rather than a liability to the ultra-competitive leader of the Glee club. The unpredicted value of a Regionals victory to his social life. Regardless, Kurt is apparently suddenly very textworthy.

Today alone, his phone hasn't stopped buzzing. Even during class.

B: Are you taking history next year?

K: IDK. I haven't decided yet?

B: Try to avoid Ms Pattinson. The worst. Dry and a lot of work.

K: Sounds like chemistry.

B: Come on, chemistry can be fun ;)

Kurt honestly has no idea how to respond so he just leaves it.

Then an hour later -

B: Do you think they'll give us another duet at nationals?

K: You sure have a lot of questions today. I don't know. You'll get something though don't worry, leading man.

B: I'm serious. We sounded great together. You could help us win.

K: I feel so used.

B: No. I mean you were great too.

K: Thanks?

B: That sounded cocky sorry.

K: When have you ever apologized for being cocky?

And just when Kurt was finished his nightly moisturizing routine, ready for bed, his phone buzzes again and he just knows it's Blaine. Again. He rolls his eyes but feels a twinge of he doesn't want to even think of what -

B: Do you think Harry Styles is hot?

Another important conversation that needs to be had right now.

K: He's straight.

B: So? And no, I think he's bi.

K: I've learned not to fawn over straight guys. Don't get your hopes up.

B: I do not think Harry Styles would be in to me. I just think he's hot.

K: Glad you've maintained your grip on reality.

B: I think lots of guys are hot.

K: Not just photoshopped celebrities?

B: No seriously. I appreciate real guys too.

K: Sam?

B: Like my best friend, Sam?...Yeah, he's hot. But don't tell him ok?

K: He would be flattered.

B: Oh I know. Just don't want him to get a big head.

K: Of course I won't tell him.

B: Like you've never thought your friends were hot.

K: Worse. I used to have a terrible crush on Finn. Now he's my stepbrother.

B: Yikes. You win. Finn is pretty good looking though.

K: Him too?

B: I told you, I think lots of guys are hot.

K: Artie, Puck, Mike?

B: In that nerdy-hot kind of way, I'm not really one for the bad boys, and Mike is definitely hot.

K: True. Well you pretty much have a crush on all the guys in the Glee club.

B: You missed one.

K: Seriously?

B: Are you fishing? And no crushes. Just physical appreciation.

K: I never fish.

B: Well I think you're hot too.

Kurt is relieved this is all on text so Blaine can't see how clammy his hands are and the unintentional smile plastered on his face.

K: You're not so bad yourself.

B: That's a relief.

K: ?

B: I mean if we end up sleeping together, I hear it works better that way.

K: Mutual physical appreciation.

B: Exactly. Leads to better outcomes.

K: We're stopping this right now Blaine.

B: ...

B: Goodnight Kurt.

K: Goodnight. No more texting.

B: Until tomorrow.

K: Fine.

[lunatic-fandom-space]

I found a 2009 german proshot of the count of monte cristo yesterday so i watched it for the first time and I liked it but it was so different from how I thought it would be. for context, the only songs i knew before watching it were a Story Told, Everyday a Little Death, Hell to Your Doorstep and This Man Is Dead

So i thought it was gonna be this upstanding good christian boy getting wrongfully convicted and thrown in jail (and i thought it was gonna be for greater political reasons but instead it was just literally to improve the lives of three random guys in some french town ig) and because his life is ruined after that, hes gonna go seek revenge and Im gonna be honest, i couldnt really figure out where Mercedes fits into all of this without actually watching the musical

But then i started watching and I was like "oh okay, so his wife is gonna be his character motivation initially but then he'll get more and more embittered by his imprisonment and once he gets out hes going to be like 'i still love my wife and i wanna see her again, but before that I need to kill those guys' leading to him becoming more and more corrupted until she doesnt love him anymore and then he kills himself bc he thinks he did all of that for her and life isnt worth living if she doesnt love him" and looked like i was completely right, like, it was gonna be a tragedy where Mercedes spent such a long time waiting for Edmond and hes been wanting to go back to her for so long but his need for revenge has such a strong grip on him and by the time they meet again theyve changed so thoroughly that they cant love each other in that beautiful way they used to

Like, since Mercedes ended up marrying one of the guys Edmond wanted to take revenge on, I thought we were gonna have a scene he murders him and Mercedes sees it but doesnt recognize Edmond bc its dark or hes covered in blood or something but Edmond recognizes her and then later when This Man is Dead (I Know Those Eyes) happens its basically Edmond being like "you say you love me bc you dont know what ive done, if you knew, you would never love me" but that wasnt really it, it was more about the trauma from being in prison changing him and I think he hadnt even done anything to any of those three guys at that point

And then he just like, gets better after seeing Mercedes again? Like, he realizes that revenge isnt the way (although Im pretty sure he'd already killed and/or ruined 2/3 of his victim trio by that point lmao) but then her husband comes in after he ruined his life and I thought, "oh, maybe instead of what I initially thought, the tragedy is gonna be that this man fell so far but managed to pick himself up again and chose the better path only for his past to come back to stab him in the back in the form of this guy stabbing him" but then Edmond ends up being quicker and just stabs him before he can hurt him and then he feels guilty about it but Mercedes reassures him that he doesnt need to feel guilty and then thats kinda it

Idk man, i guess my The Count of Monte Cristo review is: good musical, but Im a tragedy enjoyer and I felt severely tragedy-blueballed, like all the elements are there but its just. not a tragedy

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

ooooo for the oc ask game, 13 15 20 30 48 and 60? all for Nevaeh btw (am i being sneaky trying to get backstory maybe maybe shhhh)

Aaaaahhh, Saturn, my love! It's always great to have you in my inbox, you know? You did well on your sneakiness, you get a shit ton of lore (it,,,, its really a lot, I don't blame you if you don't wanna read it all lol).

Anyway, this was SO FUN to do! Thanks so much for the ask!! 🤍🤍

13. Do they have anyone they can lean on?

Nevaeh's family is actually quite supportive. I've begun developing a culture and language for the Terrans and it's helped me get a better grip on their (and especially Vae's) intrinsic values. While there is competition between the siblings to become the next Tribe Leader, there's also a deep love and devotion between them.

Terra's culture and religion is based on their home planet. Now I talked about them colonising other planets before, but I only touched on it. Basically, Terra is in a certain point in the galaxy where the Force is stronger than other places (in my AU the Force is viewed as energy (by the Terrans at least) and moves on certain lines through the galaxy. Terra lies on a sort of intersection. This is based on ley lines) resulting in higher midiclorian count in their inhabitants. Because Terra's population outgrew their planet, they colonised other planets (this takes place thousands of years before our story starts, by which point they have stopped colonising and faced the issue) but made sure they were also on these lines. Still the Force (or as they call it va'eyaey -> va meaning life, eyaey meaning energy) is strongest on their original planet, lead by the Tikaani, Nevaeh's Tribe. The Terrans believe that everything that grows out of, or comes from their home planet is holy, because they essentially worship the Force as an entity (seeing as they view it as energy, and everything is made out of energy). 'Grows out of their home planet' therefore also applies to people. So basically, Nevaeh views her siblings & family as a holy blessing and they view her that same way. That's why their connection is so deep. (I realise I'm playing it fast and lose with canon lore, but the Jedi can still adhere to the laws of the Force that we know. They have the same, yet different faith, I guess? different denominations? idk, I hope you get it saturn, if it's not clear pls ask follow ups lol)

last little tidbit about culture and language! I developed a sort of oath for the Terran warriors which might appear in the story, I'm not sure yet. I'm gonna share it here now, bc I'm pretty proud of this one!

Na'kato erih gatar vwe ih aueiili va'eyaey. Terra'na primet, nak'Terra'na setet.

meaning:

My oath is to serve and to protect the energy given through the Force. Terran first, other second.

15. Can you name 5 personality traits they have?

uuuh good question!

1. determined for sure. stubborn is probably the better word, but Nevaeh might get a lil testy when she's called that lol

2. loyal, see explanation above!

3. cunning. Neaveh is sort of the Heroin of this story, but she sometimes does behave a little,,, well she moves in a gray area sort of. The Terrans don't align themselves with either Dark or Light side, so true warriors (like Nevaeh) can be dangerous and hard to predict

4. generous. Even though the Terrans are secretive and don't like outsiders, their focus within their own people is still very much community based. But if you see the oath above, it says that they will serve Terrans first, others second. Nevaeh has always taken that very literally. Serve others, but don't do it at the cost of your own people. As long as it won't harm a single Terran, there's few this girl won't do for you!

5. empathetic. This is based partly on her connection to the Force, but also because, even though she's only in her early twenties, as a warrior, Nevaeh has seen a lot. Leading up to where we meet her in the book, she's experienced a lot since she last saw Obi-Wan. I won't spoil too much, since the story will go into this, but her struggle has made her more human in a way. She is more sympathetic and empathetic because of her trauma. (this might not come through in the first few chapters of the book, but that's because she's pretty tense right now. Once you get to know her better I think this makes sense lol)

6. secret sixth one bc I love saturn :) hot-headed. which I think is obvious if you've read the Prologue and first chapter of When We Bleed, We Bleed The Same lol

20. What do they look like?

So, I posted about this in the past here, but I made some updates on her design. She looks something like this:

She wears her hair down (it's actually much longer than pictured, but I'm not an artist so I use picrews, lol. I love this one a lot, but they didn't have longer hair. It still captures her essence pretty well though!), but if she is on a prolonged mission or yanno,,, maybe involved in a war, maybe? she puts it in dreads, for convenience and protection. She also has a traditional tattoo of remembrance on her entire left sleeve and (when not on mission) wears a ring lip piercing on her lower lip.

30. What music do they enjoy?

I haven't really come up with how Terran music sounds, but I like the idea of their primary way of story telling - but also worship to va'eyaey - to be singing. So that, I assume lol. Just imagining Nevaeh and some other Terrans sitting around a fire with some clones during a campaign and the Terrans are singing about a fight that they won, or that one amazing homecooked meal their mom would make when they were all kids, or how Ethan broke his arm climbing up a tree that one time, or that time they went to a bar and Rose and Vae danced together all night. And the clones just sort of listen to these people sharing about their rich lives in the way they would in their culture, even though they don't really do that with outsiders, so they're just quietly listening and falling in love with the stories and Rex is just looking at Vae like she's everything and WAAAA :')

48. Do they have anything they are trying to hide from others?

Oh yeah, like a fuck ton. Girly is a spy, she has thousands of tricks up her sleeve and knows all the state secrets (even those she's not supposed to know. but hey she couldn't sleep one night, so why not break into hq and get the dirt on all the superiors? (this is not canon, but she would, let's be real))

60. In a crowded room are they in the corners, sides or in the middle?

Depends. Is it a family function? Is it a political function? Is she on a mission? Is she undercover? Is her cover someone who's supposed to be noticed or not?

I think in her natural state without a mission or ulterior motive she'd probably be in the middle. She's a pretty bold social-butterfly lol

Thanks again for the ask, friend! I had such a great time! If you need any follow ups anywhere, just let me know, I'm happy to ramble some more!!

Have a great day/night/whatever, where ever you are! 🤍🤍