#maybe a quick trip to dollar general for cookie dough

[milo-is-rambling]

The countdown until the first script reading is all I’m seeing in my mind. In four hours and fifteen minutes I’ll be sitting in audience seats of the little black box theater while everyone reads the script for the first time and I get to imagine what it’ll all look like in March when the show is on the big stage

[rostamic]

Interview with the Muse

- What is your Full name? Include any maiden names, aliases, or nicknames.

Rostam Morley. The Third. Esquire.

You can shorten it if you really want, but people usually just call me by my full first name. I prefer my full name. Kerry is the only one to call me “Tammy” and she remains the only one because no one else is allowed to. When I was a kid – sometimes even now – my mom called me “Pancake” as a pet name. They said that was the first English word I spoke during breakfast one day. Not even “hello”.

- When is your birthday? Do you know where you were born and at what time?

14th of May (Ordibehesht 24, Persian calendar). Some village outside of Shiraz, Iran. Don’t know what time.

- What is your star sign? Do you know your Chinese Zodiac too?

Taurus. Explains why I’m so good at bullshitting.

- What is your earliest memory that you can remember?

Fuck if I know.

- Where was your childhood home? Was it more urban or rural?

My adoptive parents’ place was a little outside the city. I’d say it was kinda more semi-urban than suburban. No white picket fences or anything like that, just an old type of house that fit the five of us, somehow. I don’t know what type they’re called. Ranch?

(In other verses his family lived in a semi-detached row home.)

- How was your childhood in general? Did your parents treat you well? Did you have a lot of friends?

It started off weird as fuck. It wasn’t easy to get me from my country and the details are blurry at best. It might be better if I don’t know the whole story. But after I came here to my family, it got better. My parents worked hard for me and when I started talking freely they couldn’t get me to shut up. So I got a lot of friends soon enough. Between the neighborhood kids and school kids, I had no shortage of people to play with.

- How was/is school? What is your favorite and least favorite subjects? What were your grades on average?

School was school. I didn’t get perfect marks and I didn’t want to – just to pass. High school I did the worst. They were being unnecessarily hard to “prepare” us for... what exactly? I found university easier than that. That was bullshit. But, like I said, I passed.

- Did you have a best friend growing up? What was their name? Are you still in touch?

I had some best friends. There were a whole bunch in the neighborhood and I had two at school. A few of them moved away or transferred to other schools and the ones that didn’t weren’t my friends anymore as the years passed. Our interests were no longer the same. That’s fine. Shit happens.

- Were you in any cliques?

No. I talked to everybody.

- Best childhood memory you can recall?

Playing outside, throwing rocks and chasing each other with sticks. It’s not really a memory, it’s a feeling.

- Worst childhood memory you can recall?

I got trapped in an elevator once. I decided to go off exploring on a school trip. Something malfunctioned on the way up. It felt like hours I was in there but it was probably only 30 minutes at most. That wasn’t fun.

- Name an event in your childhood that has shaped you into the person you are today

I sound like a broken record and I usually don’t bring it up, but being adopted tops the list. I don’t know what my life would be like if I stayed in Iran. Thank God I wasn’t born a girl.

- What is the dumbest thing you have ever done to impress someone? Were they impressed or was it all for naught?

I’ve done a lot of dumb shit but it’s rarely to impress anyone.

- Did you ever have any sweethearts or lovers? Do you have a boy/girlfriend?

I’ve had many lovers and a handful of exclusive relationships. I’m not spoken for now. ;)

- Are you a virgin?

Ha. Not since I was 14.

- Do you ever plan on getting married in your life? Do you want kids?

I think it’ll be a long time before either of those things happens.

- Would you rather have your own kids or adopt? How many kids would you want?

Ideally both. Being adopted myself, I was very lucky to get a home that treated me well. If I had any kids at all, maybe 4 total – biologically or otherwise.

- Do you think you'd be a protective parent or a relaxed parent?

Probably a mix of them.

- How would you prefer to pass away? Surrounded by loved ones and at peace, or while doing something heroic?

If anything, I wanna die quickly.

- Generally, how healthy are you? Do you get sick or injured easily or are you fit?

I’m healthy. I don’t get sick very often. My serotonin could probably use a boost.

- Have you ever been badly injured before?

A few times. The worst was from a fight in high school. Me and some other guy were arguing over some stupid shit in retrospect. We weren’t the least bit sober and when you’ve got two angry teens rolling, shit hits the fan quick. I’m only glad fists and knives were involved and not guns.

- What is the worst injury you have ever gotten? What was it and how did it happen? Were you ever close to death?

That fight. I still have a scar on my side from it.

I’ve skirted fate once or twice. I might not be so lucky the next time.

- How many times have you been to the hospital/doctor's?

Maybe 3 times? I don’t know, I don’t count them.

- Have you ever had a concussion or brain injury? Have you ever had amnesia?

I got a mild concussion from a fist fight. I’ve also blacked out at parties once or twice. I like staying conscious so I don’t go as hard as I used to.

- What was the worst illness you ever contacted? Do you know what it was? How long were you sick?

The clap. It’s long gone now. Moral of the story: Wrap it before you tap it.

- Ever had any extended hospital stays? What for?

No.

- Have you ever had to give yourself or someone else emergency first aid? What happened?

No.

- Are you employed? Where do you work and who do you work for? What do you do?

Manta Talent Acquisitions. I’m a consultant.

- Are you happy with your current job?

It’s fine. I’ve never done anything like it so it’s been a learning experience. The pay is good and I get flexibility. There’s better jobs out there I know but so far, I’ll stick it out with this one. 

- Did you have any previous jobs? What were they and what did you do?

Lots. Did some short summer work through the years. For full time I was a restaurant host, bartender, construction worker, office aide, bookkeeper for a short stint, and now a talent consultant. 

- Most dangerous thing you have ever done?

Drug mixing + alcohol = you might die.

Shower sex is a close second.

- Do you consider yourself a more active person or a more relaxed person?

Active.

- What is your dream come true? How about your worst nightmare?

I’m not letting you use that against me.

- What is the biggest and most important goal you have set for yourself?

Be a little less temperamental.

- How persistent would you say you are? How much does it take to get you to give up on a task?

It takes forever for me to give up on anything because I don’t like to give up.

- Would you surrender yourself to your enemies or fight to the very end?

That depends on the circumstances.

- When do you usually do your shopping? What is currently on your shopping list?

Groceries I get after work or later at night when the rush is gone. I get my clothing and home things whenever I need them.

- Top three things on your wishlist?

I’ve got what I want right now.

- Currently, what is something you want but do not need?

See above.

- Do you like shopping? What is your favorite thing to shop for?

I don’t care either way. I get what I need and go.

- What is the most expensive thing you have purchased? Was it worth it?

My car. Hell yeah it was worth it.

- What would you do if you were suddenly given one billion dollars out of the blue?

What wouldn’t I do? That’s the real question.

- What would you describe your style of clothing as?

Ah... A nicer kind of casual.

- Do you have any hobbies? Name all of them if you can.

My hobbies? Just watching movies or listening to music. Socializing. Running. Whatever I find interesting at the time I guess.

- Do you like and appreciate art? What is your favorite piece of artwork?

I’ve never been a big art fan. Leonid Afremov has great stuff, though.

- Do you like music? What is your favorite style of music?

I like rock music, but I’m also a basic bitch and listen to top 40.

- Have you ever seen any musicals? What is your favorite?

No. I don’t like singing in shows. People get really angry when I say I don’t like different animated movies.

- What are your top three favorite animals? What would you say your "Patronus" or "Spirit Animal" is?

Elephants. That’s really it. 

Look. How could you not like them?

- What are your top three favorite colors?

Burgundy/maroon, grey, and... I don’t know. White? Black? Yellow? As long as I look good in it.

- What is your favorite season? Do you prefer hotter or colder weather? Do you like snow at all?

Summer. I’ll take hot weather over cold. Cold’s got its benefits, though. As for snow, it’s great to look at and play in, but I’m paying someone else to clean that up.

- What kind of flavors do you prefer: Sweet, Sour, Bitter, Spicy, Dry, or Umami (savory meat taste)?

Every taste has its place in my heart and stomach. 

- Can you cook at all?

Yeah I can cook. But for you? For a price.

- What is your favorite dish? Can you prepare it? Do you have the recipe handy?

Breaded chicken served with oven-roasted allumette-cut potatoes paired with a spiced tomato reduction sauce. I can make it, but I don’t use a recipe so it tastes a little different each time.

- What is your favorite fruit and vegetable?

I love nectarines.

- What is your favorite dessert? What is your favorite type of candy/treat?

Favorite dessert is cookie dough ice cream.

- What is the best thing you have ever had the opportunity to eat? What is the worst?

Pus-- I really love nectarines. The worst was liver. 

- Do you like to drink tea or coffee? Any favorite flavors?

I hate coffee, so I’ll always go for tea. I really like hibiscus tea but I’ll go for any kind of tea.

- Describe your sense of humor.

Situational. Bawdy. Dry.

- What is one thing you are justly proud of?

Where I am now financially. My job, where I live, the things I have. It took a long time to get here. Everything else in life is a work in progress.

- Do you have any religious beliefs? If not, have you ever been to a church service?

I don’t care what you do in your free time. I’ve only been to churches for weddings or funerals.

- What would you say is the worst thing someone has done to you? What is the meanest thing someone has ever said to you?

I had an ex-friend who almost blackmailed me into some serious crime. I’m not talking little drug runs, I mean stuff that’ll get you locked up for the rest of your life and then some. I had to get out of that before things got bad. Mean words on the other hand don’t mean anything to me. 

As for the absolute worst thing someone’s done to me, I’m not gonna talk about it.

(It’s a very sore subject for him, sorry!)

- What is the worst thing you have done to someone? What is the meanest thing you have said to anyone?

I’d never hurt a fly. Honest.

- Share the latest entry in your diary/journal.

Don’t have one. My old counselor suggested me to have one a long, long time ago but I thought it was stupid. I don’t think that as much now, but I still don’t want one.

- What is the most precious thing you own? Is it valuable at all?

A necklace with a little elephant pendant from my siblings. It has no market value but it’s priceless to me.

- Talk about someone you know. It can be someone you either like or dislike.

[proceeds to talk about himself]