#maybe a semi-hiatus is for the best while i figure that stuff out | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune · 3 years

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Going M.I.A Until July 5th After Being Peeved Off By Toxic-Humans

I just need to have some time for myself,

and I wanted to wait until July to start posting again.

I just need to try to relax and do some self healing,

and it all has to do with finding out a bit more about Scott Cawthon.

look, no one has to agree about the same religious views.

I mean I have to stay in the Neo-Christian/Ma-Acolyte Closet,

as well as the Aceflux closet and the bigender identity closet with my family.

it be nice if it didn’t happen while FNAF Security Breach was still in the works.

I’m not even sure if it’s even finished, I can only hope that someone with a heart picks up where Scott left off and adopts the series but still gives Scott credit.

right now I’m listening to a comfort song right now,

which is Lily Allen’s song F**k You.

I guess I could listen to some other songs to comfort me,

but how I feel, it calls for that song.

I just wish they didn’t bring Trump or the other names that are involved into that mess...

after finding out that Trump had some form involvement of the, my guess bullying...

I did get upset at him enough to cry and say I hate him.

of course I can’t say that to my Mom or half of my family.

sure one half supported him and the other half don’t,

but we are still family.

I don’t much care for Presidents in Real Life, I have very little trust in them.

ones in movies or video games or any form of entertainment, are fine.

since it is just in a fictional world that is at times a counterpart of ours.

no one has to agree about my being mad at Trump, and that’s okay.

I can’t help but think that there is a possibility that Scott had retired

because of the bullying and it possibly being linked to Trump.

we all don’t have to agree to like or dislike Trump.....

but I’m sure a lot of people are upset at those that caused the early retirement

before the Five Nights at Freddy’s Security Breach

but maybe there will be still hope for it,

at least if it is true that Scott has a successor.

and if they do continue work on the Security Breach,

then we can only hope things works out well.

I didn’t know there was gonna be a successor,

until I was just looking up some more info about the whole FNAF thing.

but yeah, with only half of what I know so far,

it is still going to be a part of my Semi-Misanthrope.

I still know there are some good people in this world,

that is why it is “Semi”, which is better than it being the full.

maybe later I can try to look up more info about the whole thing,

but it is still possible the bullying was part of the reason for the early retirement.

I’m still peeved at this one person who was bad mouthing YandereDev.

if they are taking long to finish the game, it is because these things take time,

and also everyone has a off day where they wont be able to work on something right away and might have to put it on hiatus.

if Yandere Simulator ever gets on a Disc or game card,

and ends up being playable on Xbox One or Nintendo Switch...

I hope there will be a mode where we can dress up as Chara from Undertale.

at least there is some good news,

Doki Doki Literature Club will be on Nintendo Switch, I have been meaning to mention that after I had found out some days ago.

and parents should not let their child play it if they are under the age of 15.

don’t go blaming the mature content, when it’s you the parents who are to blame.

hey I did see a movie that I was not the proper age for,

and I wasn’t even a teenage yet when I saw it.

I’m talking about Cool World, I still like it and have the DVD.

but after remembering I had seen that movie, and we had rented it from a place that rented out VHS tapes.

I came to realize that letting me see that too early, even though I don’t think I can remember much about watching it during that time, all I know is that I did watch it.

but at least it didn’t get as mature as the Deadpool Movie,

and I still like the Deadpool Movie.

but anyway I figured out that it was wrong for my family to let me watch Cool World when I wasn’t the proper age for it,

and even letting me watch something else with the “witch” word on it,

when I was a toddler and I ended up saying “Son of a Witch”

of course it wasn’t the word witch, but you get what I’m going with this right?

I had to try to keep my little cousin from playing my Deadpool video game,

and it was lucky I caught them on time when the game had barely started.

did they even think about stopping them before they fully started to playing?

I don’t want to make the same mistake as my Mom or anyone else in my family.

at least the bad word I used wasn’t my first word.

but I had come to realize that it isn’t the mature content to blame,

but the parents, and even if some parents are willing to admit this cold truth.

that is perhaps long overdo, not all parents might admit to it.

if you have any mature stuff either on your computer or even a movie or show on DVD.

make sure to hide it from the child, give them their own computer

but put a child lock on the browser, where only you know the password.

and if you tend to forget passwords, write it on paper then hide it where your child or little sibling, can’t find it and it’s in a place that only you know.

also I want to say this....

I rather be a part of a Neo-LGBT, there can be different types of Aces.

some who are flux like myself, but because of the whole sexual energies,

I didn’t figure it out until I started to protect myself with my bracelets.

a Aceflux person can be a sexual empath, picking up the sexual energies of others when they are either in the same room or a different room all together.

and just because someone is Heteroromantic-Ace, doesn’t mean they should be exclude from the LGBT Community, even if some will still welcome them.

and even if some might not believe that a Ace can end up being a sexual empath, but it might be very rare.

I’m not sure if there are many Aces that are sexual empaths,

and didn’t figure it out until they started to wear gem bracelets to protect themselves.

I think I’m the only one I know of that is doing that.

of course when I had first started to wear a bracelet,

it was because of a dream that felt too real and I was in between awake and asleep and then I was scared awake...

it was also dark and I was laying on my back, that is part of what I remember before being scared awake.

and I can’t tell my family I’m one, or how I believe it had first started.

I rather not talk about that right now.

but the whole me rather being a part of a Neo-LGBT doesn’t really have to do with my being Aceflux, well technically Aroaceflux.

it is for different reasons,

of course I will have to be in the closet about being part of a Neo-LGBT Community......wait, is there already a Neo version...?

well I guess I’m fine being a solo member for now.

at least not everyone in the LGBT Community made false accusations on Scott.

and I’m not sure if my pendulum is being 100% truthful,

when I asked about Scott’s sexuality, I mean when I asked if he was Hetero,

I was given a No, but when I asked if he was Pan, I got a Yes.

but that might not be true,

I mean I guess there is a possibility that it could be true.

but maybe I should throw some salt on my pendulum later.

and if it turn out those questions were true, and I was being given a truthful answer.

then it might make others sorry for bullying him.

plus I want to point out, that you can’t just keep hating someone

who believed the lies that they were taught while growing up

about how a different gender identity from your bio-sex one

or not being hetero, is evil.

it’s only when they end up seeing the truth that they might end up discovering

that they aren’t hetero, and might just be bi or pan instead.

I wanted to tell my my family about me being on the Asexual Spectrum,

well the flux type of it.

but I wanted to get their view on it first, about the Asexuality.

like I had said before, it didn’t work out too well.

and I had to make it seem I wasn’t Asexual at all.

even though I was asked if I was, I didn’t say Yes and made sure to not give away I was one.

then when I went to my room, I started crying.

how I reacted was perfectly normal, as I had found out when I found some info about how a parent shouldn’t disapprove of it.

I love my family, but it’s best that I never come out of the protective closets I place myself in, that I can only come out online.

also I’m gonna try to relax and try to just hope the FNAF series keeps alive and there really being a successor who will continue it.

well now that I know the one who partly more responsible,

is a Toxic Game Journalist........

that person sucks, they suck and I hate them so much.

any Toxic-Journalist that dares do what that one did,

they are just as bad as the paparazzi that harassed a distant cousin of mine.

and if their lies is what got everyone mad at Scott,

at least not everyone, but still.....

I hope that Toxic Game Journalist who started it all,

will get the karma they deserve after they screwed everything up.

and yes while writing this, I wanted to look up more info about the whole FNAF and Scott Cawthon thing.

and it does appear that the root is a toxic game journalist.

and if I had to put two and two together,

I say the Youtube Video that peeved me off before,

that had to do with a doxxing of Scott and [Redacted]

and if had to do with that disgusting filth of a shisno.

if the info had happen some time after that whole mess happen,

then it means that that disgusting human whoever they are,

is the cause of it.

and there is a reason why I put [Redacted]

as I do not wish for the other person/creator of another series,

to be mentioned in this.

Cancel Culture is Evil, even if something does get cancelled,

it shouldn’t involve the cancel culture cult.

don’t blame the content, blame the parents.

Pepe Le Pew deserved better,

he could of been added into the Space Jam 2 Movie,

if he got character development.

he could still flirt, but would learn to keep it a bit more friendly,

and not force himself on a gal he likes.

ya don’t see girl characters being treated the way he has been treated,

Pepe deserves better, not just Amy Rose, Dot Warner and Fifi La Fume.

that is being sexist towards Pepe.

and it’s sexist for women and even some men,

to assume if a guy wears pink or uses a pink straw, he might not be consider a man.

so wait, if a woman wearing a blue shirt or uses a blue straw, she is still a woman...?

only a real man wears pink, uses a pink straw and even cries.

and I really hope there is a Anti-Cancel Culture Group to put that shisno group in their place.

I want to try to hope things get better, and the FNAF will continue,

and Scott will get a apology from those who had believed that shisno.

maybe I should avoid looking more info about it.

I just need to try to do the self healing and hope everything gets better,

and hope it isn’t a cruel joke about there being a successor.

I guess I can try to look it up more about it to check to be sure if it is true.

I’m gonna check a few more stuff on here first, before I sign off.

and I hope some of you understand why I’m upset about what happen with Scott.

it isn’t right what happen, and how it happen.

and no matter if he supported Trump or not, there is some lines that should never cross when it comes to a dislike of a president or former president.

but if it came to picking him or the evil woman, I would only pick him to keep the babies safe.....but I’m not sure if the rumor about Hillary Clinton is true or not,

I mean when I had found out about it, I was praying she wouldn’t become president because I was worried about the innocent lives.

but if the rumors still turn out to be 100% true, I still don’t want her as the first Madam President.

I don’t even trust Biden very much, but I will have to try to hope and pray everything will be okay.

like I said, I don’t fully trust Real Life Presidents.

the best thing I can do is hope and pray that everything will work out.

for real, this will be the last post until July.

but I wont sign back in and post anything again until July 5th.

I’m still listening to Lily Allen’s song, I’m gonna listen to it a few more times.

anyway not all of you might agree with all I said,

and I’m not gonna force you to...

so see ya later, stay safe and beware of shisno.

PS:

Please Do Not Misinterpret anything that was wrote in this.

and I’m gonna hope that not everyone believed that bull about Scott being a Anti-LGBT.

and I do hope the shisno who started that mess, will get karma for what they did and causing FNAF to be almost cancelled for good.

and it better not be cancelled for good,

and there better be truth to the whole successor to the game series.

and if it turns out that my pendulum isn’t joking about Scott’s sexuality,

if it turns out to be 100% true and not a prank my pendulum is pulling.

then I hope he gets a lot of apologizes, not only from the other stuff,

but also about the Anti-LGBT calling.

#self healing #need alone time to heal #five nights at freddy's #someone please adopt five nights at freddy's #successor #neo-lgbt community #beware of shisno

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surviiived · 4 years

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Guidelines

If you don’t agree to these rules and don’t want to follow me back—and if I have already followed you—please just HARD block me. It’ll help keep my dash cleaner, as well as make sure in my forgetfulness I won’t follow you again. Don’t worry, I won’t be upset lol. Thank you so much for looking at my rules!! 🖤🖤

Basic Rules:

-SEMI SELECTIVE AND MUTUALS ONLY. This is for my own safety and feeling of security. If you want to roleplay with me, follow me. I will do the same for you if I’m willing to interact.

-OCS, AUS, AND ALL OTHER CHARACTERS WELCOME. I don’t care who your muse is. I’m all for OCs, crossovers, AUs, anything!! Just know I’m a bit more selective towards fandoms I don’t know about lol

-NO ONE-LINERS. I need some more interest in our thread from your end so I don’t lose muse as well. One-liners are fine for crack threads, but nowhere else. I’m fine with single to multiparagraph, and that’s how I will be writing.

-NO GODMODDING. I cannot express this enough. It’s my biggest pet peeve. Just don’t, or I’ll end the rp immediately.

-PLEASE USE CORRECT GRAMMAR. I’m a bit of a grammar freak, so seriously. At least try. However, If English isn’t your first language, I COMPLETELY understand.

-MULTIVERSE, MULTISHIP. Every thread is a different verse, every ship a different verse. Simple.

-DONT REBLOG THINGS FROM ME. Honestly, guys this just gets on my nerves. It’s a bit irrational...but also irritating because when I check my phone and see a notification from a mutual, I get excited because I think it’s a reply! But then I realize you just reblogged that meme/musing/whatever. Please, only reblog threads from me and everything else from the source. This includes memes, musings, pictures, and promos. Also, pls don’t reblog my PSAs, if you agree with them let me know so I can post it to my rp memes blog, which I would LOVE for you to reblog it from!!

-REBLOGGING ASKS AND TRIMMING THREADS. I’m not as strict as a lot of people over this, but some mutuals of mine are so please trim your threads when you reply to me. If you are in a situation where you can’t, that’s perfectly fine. However, thanks to this new Tumblr update I cannot trim asks because I don’t have xKit. So I ask for you to trim them for me, and if you can’t either then I’ll figure something out. Also with asks, I’m fine with you reblogging an ask to continue it. I will turn it into a separate thread for my friends’ sake.

-UNFOLLOWS. There’s a low chance I will unfollow someone, and the only reasons I can think of are spreading drama, being inactive for over a month without a hiatus, something else that annoys me, or too many OOC posts. The latter is why I am hesitant to follow back personal blogs who roleplay on said blog, but it’s not impossible. I won’t follow personal blogs from side blogs, but if you let me know you are a side blog I will gladly follow where you roleplay.

-DONT INVOLVE ME IN DRAMA. I hate drama. I’m the type of person who wants absolutely nothing to do with it. If I ask about what’s going on, then you’re welcome to tell me, but other than that, don’t talk to me about it. I won’t take sides. I won’t tell other people what’s going on. I’ll only act like nothing’s happening.

-SPOILERS. This is kinda hard with an Identity V blog... I don’t really anticipate there being any spoilers on this blog?? But if a new diary entry comes out or a deduction for a new character, sure, I’ll tag it for a couple of weeks.

-REQUESTING MUSES. If you don’t request a specific character in an ask or a starter call, I won’t write it. I just don’t have the time to go to you and ask which character you want, nor try to guess what you were thinking when you sent something in or liked a starter call. So I just won’t respond to whatever it is. This is the case when requesting one of my muses or picking one of your muses, if you’re a multi like me. Sorry..!!

Romance Rules:

-NO SMUT. I can’t stress this enough. It’s not that I’m a minor (which I’m not), it’s that it makes me uncomfortable. You will never see smut on this blog. I’m fine with heavy make out scenes, but when the clothes start to come off is where I request a fade to black.

-I LOVE TO WRITE ROMANCE THREADS. I’m a pretty big hopeless romantic, as that’s where most of my muse is generated from. I may want to add a ship to our thread at some point, but will never force it.

-REFUSALS. NO pedofilia, NO incest, NO rape, or ANYTHING nasty like that. I understand that sometimes in writing dark situations occur, as some of these things are in my muses’ backstory. So, if you write any of those things, I’m not going to block you. However, if you request to do any of that stuff with me, I’ll say no. Press the issue, I’ll hard block you. I shouldn’t have to hear you request it the first time, as it’s right here in my rules and that means you didn’t read them. But I’ll go easy until you cross a line.

-THERE MUST BE CHEMISTRY. Don’t bother trying to make a ship work that just won’t click, it’s a waste of time. But I’m more than willing to try things and see how they work..!!

-PLEASE RESPECT MY MUSES’ SEXUALITIES. You can tell a muse’s sexuality by what it says on their about. Most are bi/pan, but a few may be different.

Rules and things about me:

-I HAVE LOTS OF WRITING EXPERIENCE. I’ve been writing since I was maybe even seven years old, played games where I pretended to be a character irl since I was five, and have been actually roleplaying for approximately 7 years now. I’ve been roleplaying on Tumblr for three years. I really love writing, you know?

-WARNING, I WRITE GORE. I tend to go into detail about pain, suffering, death, and just very demented topics. That’s just a warning. If you have a problem with that, you may not want to follow me…

-TAGGING. Gore, murder, suicide, and other dark and triggering things will be tagged, but swearing will not. I swear far too much for me to remember to tag it. Also, I don’t post NSFW images or threads on this blog, so don’t worry about that, but I will tag asks and memes that can be perceived as nsfw. I tag things like this (using death as an example): “tw: death”. If you have any triggers, PLEASE let me know so I can tag them. There’s always a chance I might forget about something, and if I do please tell me. I’ll make sure not to forget a second time. Also, I ask you all tag vomit mentions, even if it’s just written, and ESPECIALLY TAG VISUALS OF THROW UP!!!! That is my ONLY trigger. Thank you.

-RESPONDING TIME. I’m a college student, high school student, and I work, so my responding time isn’t what it used to be lol. Please don’t pressure me over that..!! I also post most threads via queue unless I just need to send it out ASAP. I won’t bother you if it takes a little while to reply. We all have lives outside of Tumblr!!

-I’M NOT GOING TO SEND IN PASSWORDS. It just adds to my anxiety, and I don’t like that. That’s why I don’t ever ask someone to send a password in and just ask that they like my rules post! Just know I will always read someone’s rules before interacting.

-I’M ALWAYS HERE IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. Honestly, I want to help! If something’s wrong and you want to tell me about it, I’m all ears. I hate being upset or depressed myself, so I like to try to make others feel better. It helps with my own sadness.

That’s all for right now..! Happy roleplaying~!!

like this post if you have read it and agree to it, please.

Hello! My name’s Kiki. There isn’t really much to say about me, except that I love to roleplay!! That and write, of course. And draw. And sing. So I guess I love a lot of stuff lol. Also, I am diagnosed with ADD (attention-deficit disorder), so please bear with me..!! One last thing, I’m 18 as of November 2020.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m right here and always accepting PMs!!

My main account is twx-sid3d, but I’m rarely ever on there so here is the best place to contact me. I also have a multiverse oc sideblog @hxlf-bred that’s connected to my multi, @nycttophilic.

Thanks for reading! Have a nice day~!

#{ Rules }#{ Mun Things }#~ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵒⁿᵉ ᵃʳᵒᵘⁿᵈ ʰᵉʳ ᵗᵉˡˡᶦⁿᵍ ʰᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵃʸ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒ; ˢᵒ ˢʰᵉ ʷᵃˡᵏˢ ᵗʰʳᵒᵘᵍʰ ʷᵒʳˡᵈˢ ᵃˡᵒⁿᵉ~ [OOC]

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cbseung · 5 years

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cobblestones: modern prince hyunjin - [part 7]

[masterlist]

[pt 1] [pt 2] [pt 3] [pt 4] [pt 5] [pt 6] [pt 7] [pt 8] [pt 9] [pt 10] [final]

pairings: hyunjin x reader

w/c: 1,198

a/n: hello i’m back i hope you enjoy!!! end of finals so end of my semi-hiatus!! i wanna write something almost every night so we’ll see how long i can pull that off !(•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

description: an oddly timed confession from the etheral prince himself does not go unnoticed!

the rest of the morning was..

pretty awkward???

for you at least

after that whole “whoops sorry i accidentally cuddled you in the middle of the night” and “oh no i kinda liked it and it left me a stuttering MESS”

incident..

you kinda felt awkward around hyunjin

and yeah so what you kinda liked it

so what you liked hugging hyunjin

it’s not like you like him or anything

pssh

don’t you remember you like

HATE him

“hey, y/n, ready to go? mother needs me back at the castle, something about errands for the ball? and you’re coming with me! we need to meet with the caterers to make sure all the menu is all set and we need to check on the invitations and make sure they’re up to mother’s standards AND we need to check on our alterations for the outfits AND make sure we have all the jobs set up for all the workers

“.. hyunjin this sounds like a you problem??? are you serious do i really have to go with you

“yes! so it’s a good thing you love me!”

0_o br0

“whAT? I DON’T!”

“yes you do, it’s written all over your face”

“shut up! i don’t!”

“whatever, you’re still coming with me though”

so you spent the day with hyunjin

once again

and you didn’t hate it!

he said stuff like

“you’re really pretty when you’re stuffing your face with cake”

LIKE BRO WHAT EXCUSE ME DO YOU HEAR THAT EXACTLY THERE’S NOTHING THERE BECAUSE YOUR HEART LITERALLY! STOPPED

and he did stuff like

“got you coffee when you were in your dress fitting, it’s not the same as coffee on cobblestone streets but it’s the best we can do!” d=(´▽｀)=b

“oh i got you a sandwich because i don’t think we’re gonna have time to get lunch but i don’t want you to pass out so here”

so like

duh your heart is gonna flutter

but like you don’t like him

you swear

it’s not like

his smile makes you smile or anything

and it’s not like his general presence makes you happy

or when he brought you that coffee and sandwich that means he was thinking about you or anything

a crush?

on prince hyunjin?

... nope not you no way

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

but anyway

by the time you and hyunjin finish all the errands, it’s dinner time

you walk in the dining room

cracking jokes and insults as usual

because i guess that’s your thing now

“bro how can you say that obviously pancakes are better than waffles”

“bro do you ever just shush”

“me? shush? have you met me”

you sigh, “sadly i have”

for the first time, hyunjin’s mom is having dinner with you, hyunjin, yeji, and felix

so you kiinda knew something was up

“have you kids got a date to the ball yet?” hyunjin’s mom asks the moment you sit down

oof there it is

i mean like

you were thinking about the impending ball

and sure going with felix would have been fun

so why did a part of you not want to go with him anymore?

you’ve entertained going to the ball with hyunjin

how can you not? you’ve spent so much time with him the past couple days

and seen the charm

yes! charm! you said it

that he has

and you can’t help bu-

“oh yeah! i’m taking y/n!” felix says

but think of him taking you instead

you glance over at hyunjin to see his reaction

for what reason? you’re not sure either

but for some reason

his face kinda..

dropped?

“o-oh um yeah i’m going with felix!” you say as you give a slight smile

while still looking at hyunjin

you grit your teeth because

why

do you care about hyunjin’s opinion so much

“ah is that so? i guess i’m asking princess mirai then” hyunjin states

“ah! mirai? she’s so sweet and lovely! you’ll have a great time with her!”

“...yeah” hyunjin dejects

let’s just say

it’s a weird sight seeing hyunjin so quiet for the rest of the night

the following day, you don’t see hyunjin at all

and like

you were sad about it for the whole day

i mean

it was just a day? but you’re still sad

oh god why am i so clingy i’m NEVER like this

you don’t see him the rest of the day

or the following day

and the one time you did

he looked really sad

like weirdly sad

“..hey hyunjin?”

“oh ,. hey y/n sorry i can’t stay and chat i have to go”

“but i haven’t seen you in days! you could have asked me for help if you had stuff to do”

“i’m sorry .. i just can’t” he says as he walks away

... that was a weird interaction

like what happened??

you try to rack your brain

but nothing comes up

yeji obviously notices

and drags you two in a room

“okay. you guys have been all around the palace with your sad mopey faces and i’m SICK of it. it’s been so quietly lately, so you two aren’t leaving until you FIGURE. IT. OUT.”

and with that said

yeji slams the door

and you get up to leave

because the silence? no thanks

so you pull

and pull

and even push for the fun of it

“um.. she really locked it huh.”

“i guess”

.....

...

....

“oookay bro what’s your problem? i feel like you’ve been ignoring me the past few days.. do you wanna talk about it?”

“not really.”

“have you met yeji? you know she really won’t let us leave unless we sort it out”

“ah good maybe then you won’t be going to the ball with my brother” hyunjin mumbles.

wait

what?

did you hear that correctly???

“hyunjin what?”

“nothing..”

“you don’t want me to go to the ball with felix?”

“.. no i don’t.”

“??? wtf what do you mean i can’t go to the ball with your brother? you heard your mom right? she said we can’t go to the ball without a date”

“yeah i just.. wish you’d go with me”

waaaaaiiiiittttttttttttt

hhaha

hhahahahah

hahahahahhahahahhaha

“i’m sorry?”

“go to the ball with me y/n”

wow

woW!

“but.. hyunjin..”

“i know, i know you like felix and stuff, and as your friend i should be happy for you,, but i’m not.”

“haha friends? we’re friends?”

“yeah y/n i do.”

“hyunjin i literally don’t know whether you’re kidding or not”

“you know what y/n? that’s okay. i wanted to be friends since paris but i guess you didn’t feel the same way.

“hyunjin i-

“in fact! surprisingly! i like you, y/n, like i have feelings for you, y/n”

hahah

hahaahahahahahh

what?

feelings?

for prince hyunjin?

a prince? so ethereal as he? has a crush? on you?

“hyu-”

“no listen, i know i sprung a lot onto you, so if it’s okay with you, i’ll be taking my leave. i hope to see you around.”

and with that hyunjin left you alone with your thoughts

oh boy

what are you gonna do now

a/n: i’m gonna be honest with you, i DO have a direction for where this story is going i don’t know why it’s taking so long for me to write it? i also don’t really like how i wrote it and tbh i kinda wanna do a rewrite but that’s too much

so i’m gonna finish the story first and then we’ll go from there!!!

n e ways, hope you enjoy!

#hwang hyunjin #stray kids imagines #stray kids fluff #hwang hyunjin imagines #hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin x reader #stray kids #skz #prince hwang hyunjin #prince hyunjin #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #modern prince hyunjin #THANK YOU GOOD NIGHT #cbseung imagines

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nycttophilic · 5 years

Text

Guidelines

Basic Rules:

-SEMI SELECTIVE AND MUTUALS ONLY. This is for my own safety and feeling of security. If you want to roleplay with me, follow me. I will do the same for you if I’m willing to interact.

-NO GODMODDING. I cannot express this enough. It’s my biggest pet peeve. Just don’t, or I’ll end the Rp immediately.

-PLEASE USE CORRECT GRAMMAR. I’m a bit of a grammar freak, so seriously. At least try. However, If English isn’t your first language, I COMPLETELY understand.

-MULTIVERSE, MULTISHIP. Every thread is a different verse, every ship a different verse. Simple.

-SPOILERS. I will tag spoilers for everything that’s not in the anime. For example, if a post contains something in the BSD fandom that’s not in the anime, I will tag it. I doubt I will tag threads for spoilers, and if there’s a character that’s manga only I won’t tag it (ESPECIALLY if I write that character, like Daki.)

Romance Rules:

-THERE MUST BE CHEMISTRY. Don’t bother trying to make a ship work that just won’t click, it’s a waste of time. But I’m more than willing to try things and see how they work..!!

-PLEASE RESPECT MY MUSES’ SEXUALITIES. You can tell a muse’s sexuality by what it says on their about. Most are bi/pan, but a few may be different.

Rules and things about me:

That’s all for right now..! Happy roleplaying~!!

like this post if you have read it and agree to it, please.

Hello! My name’s Kiki. There isn’t really much to say about me, except that I love to Roleplay!! That and write, of course. And draw. And sing. So I guess I love a lot of stuff lol. Also, I am diagnosed with ADD (attention-deficit disorder), so please bear with me..!! One last thing, I’m 18 as of November 2020.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m right here and always accepting PMs!!

My main account is twx-sid3d, but I’m rarely ever on there so here is the best place to contact me. I also have a multiverse oc sideblog @hxlf-bred and an Identity V multimuse at @surviiived.

Thanks for reading! Have a nice day~!

#{ Rules }

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chrisemrysfics · 4 years

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WIPs&Projects List

Hello!

I had two separate posts for that before, but I decide to make a whole new post and combine in one post, so that everything is in one place!

Do note that my inspiration did shift toward MDZS a bit more, however I still plan to actively progress on writing for my DGM fics.

Read more as it is a long post, will adjust when anything needs adjusting and reblog when I do!

Main focus for WIP

My top priority, so the ones I will most often look to write for.

Shadows Symphonies, No one else but you, I expect an equal level of inspiration for both. Note: right now, No one else but you only has its one-short version posted, what I mean is that the multi chapter version is one I am actively working on right now, and will be a main focus once posted!

Meet me Halfway to the End is also a main focus, it might not get updated as often as the MDZS ones, still I want to actively continue this one the most (out of DGM fics).

Secondary focus for WIP

Less priority than my main focus, yet I still intend to work on them whenever I can, and are likely easier to get inspired for (but less likely than my main focus).

Assassin’s Light, I can’t say it’s as main focus as before, so it’s more so a secondary focus now, still I want to continue it.

Rise of the Walker, there’s a good chance it’ll be slower to update than Assassin’s Light and main focus WIPs, however I want to write more for it, as it is Allen’s backstory for all canonverse fics.

Mid focus for WIP

Honestly I call mid focus because the following two fics are less priority than secondary focus, but easier to get inspired for than all other WIPs after, so mid focus felt about right for them.

Bring me to Life

Make it Right

Low focus for WIP

Here come the fics that have a low focus from me, however note it’s more precise to say it is a fickle focus. I could get super inspired one day, which can be in one week, one month, two months, etc. I could get super inspired for the next chapter, or super inspired for multiple chapters. I could get renewed inspiration in the form of regular updates for a short term period. I could get inspiration to finish if I know a fic to be getting close enough to final chapters.

In short, these place low as priority, not out of lack of inspiration, but out of utter randomness of it.

The future we choose, Freedom to love, Secret of Dark Red, The Joy of Time Travel, The Divine Battle, Out Past, Shadows of Rebirth, Tales of Black Wings.

Semi-hiatus WIP

The difference for these ones is that, while it is also fickle when I get inspired for them, it is also much harder for me to feel inspired, and so they are more of actual low level of inspiration, rather than just fickle.

Hellish Chronicles, Different Yet Alike, Fated Chain, Broken Chain.

Main Projects

Those are the non-WIP stuff I am actively working on as side things to my WIPs!

Story to come Bonus “chapter” for all my WIPs except the main focus ones, they are meant to be for anyone who wish to get an idea of what the story is going to be, whether it is to make it easier to wait or to know and close the figurative book for good, a choice for every readers I have and might have in the future, and more freedom for myself as it will be easier to write if I’m not feeling guilty people are waiting to know what happens next (either they wait willingly, or wait knowing what they are waiting for, a choice they didn’t have before).

MDZSxDGM crossover in the form of Noah!Wei Wuxian, for now I am not sure what form it will take, however my best guess is a series where each fic is a collection of scenes based in the same settings. Either I’ll write as much as I can (so it’ll be pretty much “complete” when I first start posting it) before posting, or I’ll start posting at one point I feel comfortable doing so and it becomes a main or secondary focus.

ABO settings, which are going to be general (rather than fandom based) and meant as more so of a fun project, replying to the question how would I write ABO settings.

A second part to The Path we took, I want to expand on the k/ink s/ex aspect more, as there are more stuff I didn’t really put or that I fully worded later, and I want to have Wangxian word it themselves.

Side Projects

Those are the non-WIP stuff I intend to work on, however I’m not actively doing so right now.

A sequel to Long Lost Reunion, meant to be multi-chapter.

Expansion to Window of the Heart, as I have left-over scenes in my idea notes.

Venerated Triad might get expanded one day, and/or get a proper multi-chapter fic, as I can feel there’s a story I can make out of it, I just have too much on my plate right now to give time to it for now.

Field Adventure, Deity’s Royal and Protectors in Everytime, Everywhere might get expanded (all one-shots of this fic might, but these three are more likely), however for now it is just a project idea.

Requiem aeternam is a very tiny maybe about a possible expansion.

There were also some ideas I noted down about a Neallen two shot that would be lime if not lemon, Tykillen one-shots of the lime/lemony type, and a Joyd/Allen multi-chapter fic (not meant to be long, will move to secondary or mid focus if it goes get longer than expected).

Note that there are two fics I intend to write that goes with Meet me Halfway, one will be the origin of war and the other the life of Mana, Nea and Allen before everything went wrong (and how things went wrong). When I’ll work on them, is left to be decided based on my progress in Meet me Halfway.

Notes of projects for longer stories

I do have quite a few ideas noted down for multi-chapter fics, in various fandoms. This is a little overview, of all these things I hope to one day write.

White Devil is the nickname for another big canon au I once planned for, I’m likely to eventually work on it secondary to whichever WIPs I have when I finally work on White Devil, but also it won’t happen until I have less WIPs on my hands (though it is possible I work on it slowly here and there).

A DAIxDGM crossover is likely to be worked on one day, it was first born as a rp idea, to have my Lavellan character end up in DGM world and grow up there, what I really want to write is the DAI storyline when there’s this Lavellan who grew up with the Noah Clan, Allen as brother, and who already had a canon au background (half spirit). One of the scenes I really, really want to write and almost is the sole push behind everything is Allen’s arrival in DAI world and then Allen being a constant present that wlll f*ck you up if you mess with his little brother.

There is also a DAI&SKyrim crossover series I’ve once world build and wrote down notes about, it has in Skyrim a Thief Guild OC with secrets, my first Dovahkin, and my first Inquisitor with my second Inquisitor as Companion (and lover, meant to be a vee or triad with Dorian eventually). Yes, this first inquisitor is the same Lavellan as for the DGM crossover, in the way the backstory is the same up until what changes in the DGM crossover (but there is no crossover with Skyrim in the DAIxDGM crossover).

I’ve had another multi chapter fic planned for Natsume Yuujinchou, canon au with Ayakashi Natsume and Matoba/Natsume. I also have multiple Pokemon fics planned. The same goes to BBC Merlin, there were quite a few fics I had ideas for and noted down. All these fandoms however are where I intend to only have one WIP per fandom, so new fics won’t come until existing WIP in their fandom are finished or are close to finished.

And of course, there are the existing series that I have, who imply multiple fics and so fics to write in the future.

#progress #projects

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fanfic-inator795 · 5 years

Text

RotTMNT/Baron Jitsu fanfiction: Dating… With Children - Chapter Four

(Also on AO3 if you want to leave a comment or kudos)

Plot: Benjamin Draxum hardly considered himself a man of high social standing. Not because he was uncouth or unworthy of it, mind you, but simply because he didn’t have much of a social life. Hard to have one when he usually spent his days at work, cooped up in a lab for so long that he often had his lunches in there, and his nights at home reading or doing research for more personal projects. But perhaps meeting handsome semi-retired movie star - as well as his four young sons - could change all that…

First off: Thank you all so much for the kudos and comments, it's just so SO encouraging that people are supporting this AU ^v^ Your kind words and feedback mean the world to me!

Secondly: That hiatus I was gonna go on to work on original stuff? Yeahhhh, didn't really pan out... BUT, i'm still gonna try to work on original stuff the best I can, I'm just gonna also work on fanfics when I'm in the mood. I figured trying to limit myself and divide my focus is better than going cold turkey on fanfics and not having anything to work on when I hit writer's block on my original stuff. So yeah, expect semi-frequent updates, and I hope you all enjoy this chapter! ^v^ Quick note: It takes place directly after Lou and Draxum's date in the last chapter (but before the little bit at the end of ch. 3 with Draxum going into work and Huginn and Muninn noticing his good mood, heh). Okay, here we go!

“...So, how come we’re meeting Dr. Draxum for breakfast?” Raph asked, glancing away from his window and the passing New York architecture.

“Actually it's brunch, but yeah, why?” Donnie said from the back-left seat, though he didn't bother to look up from his book, “Didn't you guys JUST see each other yesterday night?”

“I bet you guys are really good friends now!” Mikey grinned, “Just like us an’ April!”

Looking up from the road for just a moment, Lou smiled at his youngest son using the rear view mirror. “Yes, we are… But, Dr. Draxum wanted to see you all again too.” He left it at that for now, wanting him and his new boyfriend to explain the situation to his children together, as well as answer any questions they may have had.

Thankfully, three of his four kids were satisfied with this answer and went back to either looking out the window or, in Donnie’s case, reading. Leo however couldn't help but stare at his father. Something was up… He knew something was up! Maybe he wasn't as smart as his twin, but Leo still liked to think that he was a bit more observant than the average six year old, at least.

He saw the extra smiles his dad would make whenever Draxum was mentioned, and how excited he was to see him again. And his face would sometimes get sorta red too… While yeah, Leo would've been happy with his dad just making a new friend, there was something about how he hung out with the long-haired doctor that made him seem like way more than a friend. How happy his dad was to see or hear from him, how long they'd talk over the phone, how close they'd sit or stand near each other…

Oh yeah, Leo could see it clearly. The boy tipped his blue cap low over his face, trying to hide his smirk. He'd seen enough Disney movies to know EXACTLY where this was going - and maybe he hadn't shared his theory with his brothers yet, but he was still gonna rub it in their faces that he knew all along.

Soon enough, the family of five arrived at one of the big city’s cozy local diners. Before moving to help his kids out of the car, Lou made sure to swap out his normal yellow tinted glasses with his darker sunglasses - or his ‘sneaking around so no one knows I'm a movie star’ glasses, as dubbed by his kids. (Not that they even really minded whenever their dad was ambushed by fans, usually making a game out of who could sneak into the most photos or who could get the most compliments.)

Thankfully, the glasses did their job, and the hostess greeted them like she would any family. “Table for six, please,” Lou told her, “we’re still waiting for one other person.” The hostess nodded and led them to a large, round table near the back of the restaurant.

It was only a few minutes later, after they were given coffee, milk and free crayons to draw on the kids menus with, that Draxum arrived looking the most casual that Lou had ever seen him. The scientist was wearing a dark green polo with brown jeans, and his long hair was actually loose rather than in a ponytail or braid, instead simply resting over his broad shoulders. Lou quickly waved him over, flashing his boyfriend a grin that in turn made him smile softly.

“‘Morning, Dr. Draxum!” Raph greeted while Mikey waved and the twins nodded.

“Good morning to you as well, boys,” he nodded back, sitting down, “And to you, Lou.”

“Yes, a very good morning.” Lowering his voice a bit, Lou added, “For the record, you should definitely wear your hair down more often.”

Draxum rolled his eyes, though let himself smile back at the man just a little. “I’ll consider it. So, what's everyone get-?”

“Waffles!” “Pancakes!” “French toast!” “Breakfast burritooooo!”

“Boys, inside voices, remember?” Lou lightly scolded. His boys mumbled an apology before eagerly making additions to their breakfast requests, now at a much quieter volume. Draxum smiled, a bit amused by the wholesome scene. How Lou could manage to keep a level head while raising four slightly rowdy boys on his own, Draxum didn't know, but it was certainly impressive. Maybe fatherhood was just easier after dealing with the stresses of Hollywood, Draxum supposed.

“I’ll probably just get one of these bacon and cheese omelets,” Lou told him, “and what are you getting?”

His date hummed. “I think I may get a couple pieces of French toast, as well. Though just so you know, we’re getting separate checks-”

“Ah-ah, no way,” Lou told him, insistent, “You made dinner last night, I can buy breakfast today.”

“Technically it's brunch, and honestly Lou, this was my idea and I'm perfectly capable of buying my own breakfast-”

“Didn't say you weren't, Ben.” The ex-star then angled his face down a bit so Draxum could see his eyes over his glasses. “I'm just saying that I'm the type who likes to treat a guy right.”

Draxum huffed. “How annoyingly chivalrous of you,” he retorted, even if his expression was anything but annoyed. Lou just flashed him a grin.

While his brothers continued to draw and talk, no longer interested in the strange conversation, Leo just made a face at the two adults across from him. What was that thing grown ups called it? Flirting? Was this flirting? Groooooss - even if it was another bit of proof that he was right in his deduction.

Eventually, the waitress returned and took their orders. Having more than a few minutes until their food would be brought back, Lou decided that there was no better time than now. “So, my sons,” he began, getting his kids’ attention. Draxum also made sure to sit up a bit straighter, suddenly feeling a bit nervous.

...Hoping for approval from kids under ten years old. Huh… What a strange turn his life had taken in just a few weeks.

Lou seemed to feel the same, fidgeting his hands slightly as he made sure his tone stayed calm. “There was a reason why we - er, Dr. Draxum and I - wanted us all to have brunch together, because there is something we wanted to tell you all. Ah, don't worry, it's nothing bad, though it's also okay if you aren't too sure about it or have questions, okay? We just want to be honest with you all.”

“Well, what is it?” Raph asked, voicing what he as well as Donnie and Mikey were thinking.

“Well… Dr. Draxum and I have decided to officially start dating.” Lou felt himself grin, still feeling the leftover excitement and happiness from the night before. “As of last night, he is my new boyfriend.”

“Yes,” Draxum stiffly nodded, figuring he should participate in this too, “We are dating and, and we hope that you are all alright with that.”

Raph began to speak when Leo let out a cheer. “YES! I knew it! I knew you guys were gonna say that!” The boy in blue exclaimed.

“What?! Nuh uh!” Donnie argued, “you couldn't have known!” At the same time, Mikey asked in awe, “How'd you know?”

“Cause I saw how Dad would give Dr. Draxum weird smiles, and he'd do the same to Dad,” Leo told them, “And I saw how they'd get all lovey dovey and do the weird-gross flirty thing too! So I just knew they were in love!”

Draxum held back a chuckle. As embarrassing as it was to have it all laid out in the open like that - and by a child, no less - there really was no denying it at this point. He had fallen in love, and had done it more quickly than he ever would he thought. Perhaps Lou just had that special something, or maybe it was just easy for him to drag people up to his speed. Either way, Draxum couldn't say he wasn't grateful for it. Not when the results were this surprisingly satisfying.

“...Hey, Dr. Draxum.” Brought out of his thoughts, Draxum directed his attention squarely on the boy in red. “How come you think we wouldn't be alright with you dating our dad?”

“Er, well-”

“Cause you're really cool-”

“And nice!” Mikey chimed in.

“And super smart,” Donnie smiled.

“And really tall with pretty hair,” Leo added.

“Yeah! So you seem like a good boyfriend to us!” Raph finished, nodding at the doctor in approval, “Just as long as you keep bein’ nice to our dad and don't make hurt his feelings or cheat or anything!” At this, all four boys put on a bit of a scowl, a silent (and unfortunately for them, sort of adorable) warning.

Still, even while being a bit shocked that kids so young apparently knew what cheating was, Draxum made sure to look serious as possible as he nodded back at them. “I promise to try and be the best boyfriend I can be to your father.” After he said this, he felt a hand grip his from under the table. Looking back at his date, he saw a much softer smile now.

“And I will promise the same thing,” Lou said simply. And that was all Draxum needed.

“...So, what made you wanna start dating Pop anyway?” Donnie asked, raising an eyebrow, “Wouldn't you wanna date someone as smart as you?”

Draxum quickly brought his other hand up to his mouth, trying to cover up his muffled laughter while Lou gave his middle child a bit of a look. “Geez, Donnie, you should be a bit nicer to your old man, don't you think?”

“I'm not trying to be mean!” Donnie argued, “I just thought it was kinda weird. Don't scientists date each other?”

“Maybe in the movies and comics,” Draxum told him, “Not so much in real life. But as for why I wanted to start dating your father, well… It's the same reason why I chose to keep in contact with him after meeting him at the museum: I enjoy his company, and I feel comfortable with him.”

“And I'm ‘less annoying than other people’, you can't forget that,” Lou quoted with a grin. Draxum nudged him with his elbow, and Lou nudged him right back.

“So, wait,” Leo said, grimacing as he began to realize the downside to being right, “if you're boyfriends, does that mean you guys gonna start making out all the time now?”

Draxum immediately blushed, which in turn caused Lou to laugh, too amused to be embarrassed. “No, we are not going to be making out all the time. We are however still going to kiss and hug sometimes, but we’ll try to do it when you kids aren't watching, okay?”

Leo still stuck out his tongue, “Grossss.” Lou just chuckled again, leaning over and ruffling the boy’s hair.

“How do they know what ‘making out’ and ‘cheating’ are?” Draxum whispered.

His boyfriend sighed slightly. “Let’s just say that Donatello is way too good at hacking the parental locks on the tv.”

Draxum shook his head, an amused smile returning to his face. Unbelievable… Yet completely fitting. As he spotted the waitress returning with their food, he felt himself relax. That had gone over pretty well, actually. The kids were okay with it, they answered all their questions, and there had only been maybe one or two awkward moments, and they were going to have a decent, hot meal to finish off the occasion. All in all, not bad.

His French toast was looking really good as well, topped with powdered sugar and brought with hot syrup. Everyone else quickly dug into their meals - with the exception of Mikey and Lou, with the latter helping the former cut his breakfast burrito up into a more manageable size for such tiny hands - so Draxum didn't hesitate to do the same. He cut off a piece, brought it to his mouth, and-

“Are you two gonna get married?”

Draxum sputtered, nearly choking on his bite but forcing himself to swallow. “W-Wha-?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Lou sitting up a bit straighter, forcing a sheepish smile. “Ah, heh, Mikey, that's-”

“Oh yeah!” Raph said, nodding at his youngest brother, “Grown ups who date always get married.”

“Not always,” Donnie lightly argued as he poured syrup on his pancakes, “They also breakup sometimes.”

“But that counts as being mean, right?” Leo asked, “So if Dr, Draxum breaks up with Dad, are we allowed to beat ‘im up?”

“You boys will not be beating anyone up,” Lou said sternly, “And, ah, marriage is, well, i-it's a long way off. Very long way. We just want to enjoy dating each other for right now, understand?” The boys all sort of shrugged and nodded, accepting it more than understanding.

“Though, I will probably be around a bit more often to visit you all as well as, well, taking your father out on dates,” Draxum added, “Which means you all don't have to be so formal with me. I won't mind if you don't use my title or call me Benjamin or Ben instead.”

Mikey hummed, scooping up a forkful of burrito. “Nah, I'm gonna keep calling you Draxum.”

“It does sound cooler,” Leo commented, “Way cooler than just Ben.”

“Well, fair enough, I suppose,” Draxum told them, not minding the technical insult.

Thankfully there were no more surprise questions for the rest of their meal, even if the conversation itself was still primarily controlled by the children at the table. Donnie and Leo happily shared the books and comics they would be hoping to find at the library later that day, sparking a discussion for all three of them about their favorite books and stories. Granted most of Draxum’s favorites were a bit too high-concept for children, but he was happy to break them down for them, endeared by their comments and observations.

On the other side, Lou listened to his oldest and youngest sons tell him about the puppet show that would also be happening that day - both the good and bad things about it. (“Raphael, baby, I promise you that the puppets are not actually alive, nor are they evil, no matter what the older kids say.”) When Mikey decided to invite Draxum to come along with them to watch, Lou had to hold back a laugh when he saw the taller man’s face twist into a forced smile.

“As… fun as that sounds, Michael, I have a few errands I need to run before the day is over, so I don't think I’ll have the time.” He may have liked Lou’s kids, but he had his limits. “But I hope you and your brothers enjoy yourselves.”

“We will!” Mikey grinned, while Raph just slouched in his seat, looking much more unsure. Lou gave him another pat on the back.

Once the dishes were cleared away and Lou paid the bill, the six of them headed out to Lou’s car, with Draxum once again taking the extra step to walk him to it.

“Well, that went over pretty well, don't you think?” Lou asked, leaning on his gold painted vehicle, his kids already inside.

Draxum nodded. “Yes, I'd say it was the best reaction we could've hoped for.” He chuckled lightly before adding, “Though, I’ll have to keep your sons’ warning in mind.”

“Oh, I'm not worried.” Maybe they would last and maybe they wouldn't, but Lou had a feeling he didn't have to be concerned about his new lover cheating on him or doing anything else extremely hurtful. Although, there was one other thought in his mind… “But, ah, I'm sorry if any of the boys’ questions caught you off guard.” He rubbed the back of his neck, his smile a bit more sheepish. “Like… The whole marriage thing?”

Draxum stared at him for a moment, taking him in as he tried to wrap his head around the image of such a normally open and bold person actually looking somewhat bashful. He felt his own smile soften a bit. “While it may have surprised me a bit, yes, I supposed we should have expected it. It's only natural for a child to jump to things like that, after all. ...But, I think that you were more flustered by the idea than I was.”

Despite the heat returning to his face ever so slightly, the ex-star scoffed. “What, me? Nahhh, never!” Lou insisted. He might have gone on, if he hadn't noticed Draxum’s flat stare. “...Well, I mean, maybe a little. But, but not because the idea is unappealing or anything! I've got nothing against commitment, I can assure you I have been in exclusive relationships before-”

Lou cringed. Yeah, tell him about your past loves, that's JUST what your new love wants to hear! “I just, ah- we don't want to take things TOO fast, you know? We just started dating, for goodness sake! I may enjoy life in the fast lane sometimes but- Er, but like I said, I wouldn't mind getting married either. Totally cool with marriage! Definitely wouldn't mind if it was with you! That is, as long as you wanted to-” Wait, you guys literally got together YESTERDAY, are you seriously-? “N-Not that you have to decide that this very moment, that would be ridiculous! Heh…”

Lou held back a groan, feeling like he could slap himself as Draxum continued to stare at him, eyebrows raised. When it came to things like flirting and getting people on his good side, it felt like he could do know wrong, words and smiles flowing through him like air. But sometimes, when it was time for much more emotional and personal things - the more awkward things - it was like being shoved into a soundstage without a script! “Look, what I'm trying to say is-!”

*BEEEEEEEEP!*

Both men flinched at the loud horn, with Lou nearly crashing right into Draxum’s chest. “Daaaaad, are we gonna go yet?” a muffled voice from the car asked.

“I will be there in a moment, Leo, now please get back in your seat!” Sighing, he turned back to Draxum.

“So,” Draxum began, his gaze still soft and free of judgement despite everything, “what were you trying to say, Lou?”

“...I think, what I am trying to say… Is that I do not want to pressure you into anything, or push you into anything because… I don't want that either.” Even if Draxum was the first person he felt fairly serious about. Feeling a smile come onto his face, if only a little, made his thoughts come to him a bit more easily.

“You… You are a good man. Smart and interesting, fun and kind and-” And hot, so VERY handsome- “and, I want to just enjoy being in these moments with you, without really thinking of- without worrying about the future, because… Well, you're the first person that I've wanted to do that with in a long time. Not in a ‘this is a fling’ sort of way but, just in an ‘I enjoy being around you, and this feels good so let's just roll with it, a-and I also really don't want to lose this feeling or scare you off’ way, you know?”

“...Well, maybe not the fling thing but, yes, I do understand,” Draxum told him, taking a step as he kept the space between them close, “and, considering that you've kept me for this long… I think you and your kids would have to try a lot harder if you ever did want to scare me off.”

Lou grinned, taking his boyfriend’s hand. “Heh, I will keep that in mind…” Speaking of his kids, even without any more blasts from a car horn, he could hear them start to complain. Draxum could hear it too, and gave Lou a quick peck on the cheek before he needed to leave.

“Until our next appointment, doc?” Lou said, stepping back and putting his hand on the driver’s door handle.

“Are you going to keep using that line?”

“Sure am!” Draxum sighed, briefly wondering why he was agreeing to all of this again, and remembering only a second later as he watched Lou smile and cheer along with his kids as they finally left the parking lot…

He was nearly in bed when he heard from Lou again, only it wasn't a phone call but a text. Specifically, a text and a photo of a simple, fairly messy drawing of the two of them, holding hands and surrounded by a giant pink, glittery heart (as well as small, multi-colored hearts).

“Look what Mikey drew at the library arts and crafts table. I think he supports us - and he captured your likeness pretty well!”

Draxum scoffed despite his smirk as he texted back, “That boy of yours is too adorable for his own good.”

Lou’s reply came in only a couple seconds later. “I’ll let him know you liked it. ;)”

Draxum nodded at the screen. He expected to be bombarded with numerous similar looking drawings the next time he visited the Jitsu home, but it was just as well.

Taking a moment to save the picture to his phone, Draxum then set his alarm before getting into bed, a fairly relaxed and content expression on his face as he slipped into sleep.

((Splinter's awkward dad apology/speech at the end of 'Evil League of Mutants' is so sweet, he's trying his best, ya'll... Such a good rat dad... But yeah, that's pretty much where I got my inspiration for quite a bit of Lou's dialogue in this chapter, lol. Just another side of him I wanted to show. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed! ^v^))

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #baron jitsu #baron draxum #lou jitsu #human au #fanfiction #my writing

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endless-vall · 5 years

Text

Not Born, but Made - TCATF fanfic, Chapter Four - Interrogation.

Summary: Before Kenna can talk Annelyse into supporting her cause, she needs to pass the test of an associate of hers.

Author’s note: I think that if Kenna wasn’t royalty (from the start) her and Raydan’s dynamic could be even more interesting (seeing as Raydan wouldn’t be reluctant to flirt with her) but I’m getting ahead of myself, we’ll get there later.

As I said, I’m on a semi-hiatus, but I have a bunch of these chapters already written out, so I figured, why not post another?

Tagging : @endlessflame @frugalchoicer @regina-and-happiness @stopforamoment @mariamulroney @indiacater @wolverinesbeer

They walk in together, hand in hand. A servant announces them, although no one really knows their names, yet.

“Kenna Rys and Dominic Hunter, from Stomholt.” A few faces do turn around to watch them as they go down the stairs, but they are all looking at Kenna, Dom realizes.

She does have that affect on people.

So he smiles and plays his part.

They finally arrive to the bottom of the stairs, greeted by the most dazzling ballroom they’ve even been to.

To be honest, it’s the only ballroom they’ve even been to - But they’re sure it’s more impressive than many other ballrooms. It has to be, decorated in so much golden statues and marble.

Both Kenna and Dom smile, greet people, and mingle until they come to a stop.

A few steps before them, stands a beautiful woman. She’s wearing a golden dress, and has a jewel decorating her wavy, long, black hair.

“This must be the queen,” Kenna whispers to him.

“How do you know?” She looks promising, but so are many other ladies in the room.

“Well, for starters, she has guards.” Kenna points out.

Huh. They aren’t so visible, in first sight. The golden woman does have guards around her, but they aren’t standing so close, and look as if they belong there.

“And her outfit is all-gold. You know.” Kenna mentions, adding.

Dom shrugs. “I guess you’re right.” He nods back.

“I’ll go talk to her. You talk to the nobles meanwhile? Try to charm them before saying anything about a plan about-”

“Overthrowing the Nevrakis regain? Yeah I won’t start with that, I promise you.” Dom chuckled, and Kenna joined him, realizing she was being too bossy, and too obvious.

“I’m just nervous,” She admits. “I want everything to go according to plan.”

Dom takes a deep breathe, and lets go of her hand. “And it will.” He assures.

“Now go get her.” Kenna feels a light push on her back, and lets it guide her towards the queen of Aurelia, who turns out to be a charming lady named Annelyse.

The conversation flows greatly, before Kenna mentions anything about Luther or a rebellion.

“I have to admit Annelyse, I did come to Aurelia with a favor to ask in mind.” She tells her, as Annelyse offer her a glass of the finest wine Aurelia has to offer.

“I figured as much,” Annelyse’s smile never falls.

“Really?”

Annelyse hands Kenna the wine, and hums to herself while a servant pours another one, for Annelyse herself. “Most people come to Aurelia to seek something. I didn’t think you to be different. Please don’t be offended, though, you’re the first one I don’t really want to decline tonight.” She explains,

And Kenna nods.

Kenna sips from the wine. It tastes amazing, better than anything she’s ever drunk.

It tastes a lot better than the glasses she’d manage to sneak while playing with Dom in the summers, and better than the ale she’d shared in the tavern with Val, Jackson and her other new friends.

“Mmmm, this is delicious,” She doesn’t forget to compliment Annelyse.

“I’d hope it would be. It’s the best wine Aurelia has to offer,” Annelyse smiles at her, and something tells Kenna she isn’t lying.

It seems Kenna had charmed Annelyse, and maybe the favor she was going to ask of her wasn’t too far-fetched, after all.

“So... Should I tell you of my plan, and let you decide whether you want to help me or not?” Kenna tries her luck, keeping her voice down and her features unchanged.

For a stranger, it would seem her and Annelyse were still talking about ballroom stuff, just like they had been for the last hour or so.

“Of course not!” Annelyse giggled, placing a hand on Kenna shoulder and keeping with her act. “It’s a party.” She reminded her, talking into her ear now.

“But you should meet with me later for some privacy, and we could discuss that.”

Annelyse gives her a meaningful look, before looking around the grand room. “Well, I have tons of other guests to attend to, but I’ll see you, later.” She winks at Kenna, and with that, sways out of sight.

“So, how’d it go? It seemed like it was going so well for a while, but then she disappeared.” Dom found his way back to Kenna.

“Well, it went... Well? Though I haven’t introduced her to our cause yet.” Kenna furrows her eyebrows for a moment, before remembering she still needed to put on a show and dazzle the nobleman around her.

She put a mask back on her face, figuratively speaking, and smiled as decisively as she could.

“What?!” Dom exclaimed, although they were speaking in hushed tones and whispers. “You haven’t told her yet?”

“She invited me for some private time later, she said discussing those things in a party wasn’t really wise, and she’s right.” Kenna pointed out.

Dom sighed. It was true. It would be dangerous to discuss their plans in here. But he wasn’t sure how he felt about Kenna being with Annelyse in private, either.

“What about you?” Kenna changed the subject. “How did it go with the rest of the nobles?”

Dom assured her he was quite the charmer. He swayed a few major families to their side, already blindly supporting whatever idea they’d suggest.

“That’s good to hear-” Kenna smiled, but stopped in her tracks when she saw someone approaching them.

Before they could discuss their plans any further, a beautiful, dark and mysterious man stood before her.

“May I have this dance?” He was offering her an arm.

Kenna only blinked at him once, before shaking herself out of her shock and breaking into a smile. “Of course.”

Dom couldn't help but feel a rush of jealousy running throughout his entire body.

He came to this party with Kenna by his arm, and yet he lost her so easily.

He just hoped the stars he was seeing in her eyes were still just a part of her act.

“What a beautiful evening,” Kenna commented, being let by the mysterious man on the dance floor.

“It is,” He answered, but unlike her he wasn’t looking around them at all, his eyes were focused all on her, and her only.

Kenna felt her cheeks turning red, but tried to fight that feeling.

What was that feeling, anyway?

“May I ask, who are you, exactly?” She gulped a little, trying to regain her courageous persona.

“My name is Raydan, Raydan Lykel. I’m an... Associate of lady Annelyse’s.” He explained, though his tone wavered a bit when he mentioned ‘Associate’.

“Well, Raydan the Associate, seeing as I haven’t seen you all night long, and the fact that you weren’t announced when you entered, can I deduct that you’re not just an associate, but maybe...” She leans closer, trying to intimidate him just in the right amount, and whispers in his ear. “Her spy?” She guesses.

When she leans back, she’s surprised to see Raydan smile. It still looked like he had the upper hand, and that’s not a situation where Kenna usually were.

“You are correct, my lady,” He nods, spinning Kenna with elegance and grace just in queue with the song. He never missed any beat, Kenna realizes, and he’s been leading her this whole time, with the song. Someone watching them from the side would not be able to tell it’s the first time Kenna has danced to this song.

“And if we’re already playing a guessing game, let me deduct that you’re not royalty, are you?” He looks at her feet, as if he’s motioning for the fact that he was, in fact, leading her this whole dance.

“And still, you got invited to this ball. You’re here because you have some kind of cause in your mind, and you need Annelyse to do it.”

Kenna nods, unsure what her next move should be. He could expose her at any moment. Hell, even more, she fell for his charming smile and silver tongue, but he was just Annelyse’s spy and doing his job, marvelously so.

“You’re also nervous, I can tell,” He continues, answering Kenna’s prayers so she doesn’t need to speak up.

“Don’t worry, I won’t expose you. Not yet at least.” He assures her.

“You won’t?” She can’t help but raise her eyebrows at him. She let’s her guard down, once again, but this time purposely. “Why?”

Raydan seems to think about her question for a second, before smiling to himself, brilliantly. He dips her, just in time for the song.

She lets him guide her, relaxing in his touch and trusting him to pull her up when he needs to. She closes her eyes, and lets the world around her to fade away, for just a moment.

“Easy,” He says, making her open her eyes back. He’s lifting her up, and she watches as the light around Raydan seems to shine brighter than it does around the rest of the room. “It’s because I like you.” He smiles, and twirls them around again.

“You like me?” She blushes again, before reminding herself it might just be an act. “You don’t even know me.” She scowls at him.

Raydan chuckles to himself. Kenna doesn’t like that.

“Since the first moment you set foot in this ballroom, it was obvious you had a cause. A cause you’re ready to fight for, and I respect that.”

“You watched me since the moment I stepped into the room?” Kenna questions.

“Wrong. I watched you since the moment you stepped into the city of Aurelia.” Raydan finally gives away more information, and Kenna feels dizzy.

“Since the moment I entered the city? But... How...?”

“We don’t just let any travelers into our city’s walls,” Raydan explains. “Annelyse tasked me with this.” He shrugs.

“And I also know why you’re here.” He adds, his eyes finally leaving Kenna, as he looks at something behind her shoulder, his eyes getting dark and distant and serious again.

“You do know? And you’re not going to stop me?” Kenna’s voice isn’t so sure of herself as it was in the beginning of this conversation, but the dance is not over yet and she clings to the moments they have until they finish it.

Raydan doesn’t answer, but he looks back at her, the corners of his mouth rising into a light smile, telling her that no - in fact, he wasn’t going to try and stop her.

“Does Annelyse know?” Kenna continues questioning.

“No.” He answers, giving Kenna the answers she wants to hear. She wonders how come she’s so lucky, to meet not one but two people that decide to take a chance on her. The carriage rider and now Raydan, the spy who’s loyalty she should be questioning right now, but she isn’t.

“Now, if you don’t mind, can we finish the dance without further interrogating each other? I do enjoy dancing with you, even if you’re quite inexperienced.” Raydan tells her, making her blush again.

This time, Kenna laughs, and throws her head back. When she returns to face Raydan, he’s watching her intently, her eyes glistening with curiosity.

She rests her head on his shoulder, continuing to dance. “Sure. I enjoy dancing with you too.” She lets only him know, as she’s speaking into his ear again.

“I’m glad to hear that.”

#playchoices #playchoices fanfic #the crown and the flame #tcatf #annelyse adair #raydan lykel #kenna rys #dominic hunter #nbbm #not born but made #My writing

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hclles-blog · 6 years

Text

hey guys ! this has been sitting in drafts for at least a day now, but trust me when i say i’m as excited as i was when typing this fucking monster of an intro SDKFGJKFD but i’m jules, kard and clc supremacist and a struggling student about to apply to the english faculty of my uni ! like i said, this is a super long intro, so get settled as i introduce asteria’s resident skating brat halle, a bitch who overworks and doesn’t know how to chill long-term !! stats page is HERE for your reading pleasure, extensive plots and an extra list of options are linked accordingly !

jeon somin, cis female, she/her. — have you seen ( hyunmi “halle” chae ) around ( hecate ) ? they’re a ( twenty-two ) year old ( senior ) who’s majoring in ( kinesiology. ) i know they’re busy with ( dance club, women’s volleyball, and kappa delta sorority ), but you should tell them to check their latest starred rating ! ( jules, 21, she/her, gmt-3:30. )

honestly she is.. fucked sgjfsgdkl

this is mostly a carbon copy of an intro i’ve made for her in the past, so while some random points seem a Little dated or repetitive, they’re valid enough to stay here sfdlgkdg

i’ve had inspo for her after the olympics and rly wanted to use her somewhere, so if some things here seem a little.. idk, farfetched for your taste, we’ll pin it on that sfdgkdfj

this is her as popular vines

so chae hyunmi aka halle, ulsan born, raised in seoul and relocated to toronto, canada with her parents, little sis and partner to train bc..

she’s a figure skater, good enough to win ( .. junior ig ) titles when she was in her early teens, so it was only inevitable for her to leave for toronto to train with the Best eventually

she’s competed in international competitions, as part of a pair, and made her olympic debut in sochi by the skin of her teeth; her highest placement was third place ( not at sochi pls sgjkld she prob ranked in the top ten at best ), so she’s got a medal or two to her name

ultimately it was after sochi that she saw her coach and ( ex ) partner intervene with her.. unhealthy practicing habits

she’s a perfectionist through and through, so of course she’d spend hours on the ice at just seventeen/eighteen years old, even younger tbh, to get a routine right. but she pushed herself harder and harder, where small missteps would lead her to fall hard and recover for days on end, even spraining her ankle just before competition season was to begin

so when her coach insisted she take a break, her parents following suit, it was with good reason — one that she didn’t fucking see fsdkgkl

even so, them pushing her to prioritize education for a bit, to get ahead of the skaters who would prob only be able to do so upon retirement in a good few years’ time, and hanging up her skates until she saw it as.. less than something she needed to abuse herself to feel comfortable with, for as long as they would do so led to her resolve shattering and her applying for universities in canada, the us and sk ( the sly brat reasoned that it’d be nice to be reconnect with her roots.. for the sake of having something going for her beyond just competing in pyeongchang ! )

but the latter wound up being a bust bc she opted for asteria u, close to some of the popular yet secluded skate clubs the greats went to during their off-season training.. and before tr*mp got elected bc she would’ve cancelled everything, demanded her money and scholarships back, had she arrived after that LSDFGJFKLD

should be noted that her grades were good, she had a super brief volunteering stint and she’s a rising star ( well, was.. the bitch wouldn’t be competing again anytime soon to keep herself where she was within the skating circuit ) in her favoured sport, so she deemed all of this inevitable sfkljfdgk

though the school didn’t and still doesn’t offer its own skate club so, that was a slight drawback for the invested bitch

the transition wasn’t too hard ofc; she got comfortable with the campus and was back on the ice in no time, joining one of those aforementioned skate clubs under her parents’ noses and making the most of it as comeback/olympics prep

she saw herself as poised to be added to the roster once again, now a singles prospect after a major falling out with her longtime partner for one too many dumb bitch moves, and was desperate for it; however the stars didn’t align back in 2017 during her sophomore year, when she just missed obtaining qualification while now on canada’s roster on a technicality, and nothing could’ve compared to the agony that was missing her chance in something she invested sm practice, time and compliance with the people around her to pull through and get to pyeongchang

she’s still distraught over it, it’s been a couple of years since that happened and she gets emo real quick, misty-eyed if you bring it up ( she uh, has issues with moving on from things if you can’t tell )

suffice to say she resents her coach for his minor contribution in fucking her and himself over, dropped him out of anger ( a move she.. does feels bad abt on a personal level but professionally ?? pft ) and linked up with one back in toronto who she’ll begin seeing when she’s “ prepared ” to give it a shot again

meaning she’s currently on hiatus from the sport, but she knows a good few people think her career is Over now — and it pisses her the Fuck off

studying kinesiology despite wanting to be a skating coach when she retires as a competitor, bc she rly loves being active and thinks she’d be a resource in the field down the line ok ??

anyways, she’s found new things to invest her time in, such as the sorority, dance club and volleyball

dance helps with the choreo for her routines.... or Did, but we all know she’s still doing Some amount of skating on the side so

and it helps in areas where muscle memory and years of flexibility can’t quite do so

volleyball’s a great second option for her as a sport, mostly bc she can exert as much of her frequent frustration as possible into a game and act like it’s just her being into it. though she really can be That competitive, as you can see, rather than bratty

so, moving onto other things —

personality and other shit

she is.. a mess rly

inflexible, independent, charismatic, etc

most of her actual personality is further down oops dsfgjklfg

kinda detached ?? like she doesn’t want too many distractions and she deems relationships as the fucking Worst for it.. she’s had some pals from skating with potential go downhill when they got too deep with certain partners or just with too many side hobbies, social obligations, so she’s trying to be level-headed while not destroying her social life ?

idk it’s hard to explain, she’s an enigma even to me in that area

only dated once or twice. the first time being when she was like nine. with her first pairs partner that she quickly ditched.

not.. super sexually active either ( rip ?? )

but she’s been Involved with people so fdskng

on the ice, or just in whatever she’s applying herself to, she’s domineering and blunt, v strict on herself though she’s slacked off a bit over the years.. so imagine how self-disciplined — in the worst of ways — she was when she was younger

with a rigorous work ethic like hers, her being a leader among those at the local skating club implies that she’d be strict too with what little power she has.. but she’s kinda chill overall ?? tho you still have to get your twizzles right before the end of the day, don’t care that the hockey players will be out in two ! let’s go !

uh.. her attitude carries over with a Lot of things. she especially has no time for people who are Committed to their sport but show poor performances bc of laziness, distractions, etc. so brace your kids for hurricane halle ??

call her ice queen. try it. try it. GKFDJKGDSF she hates that nickname 95% of the time, usually bc she assumes people are basing it off of her initial/professional demeanour first and her passion second

she rly just has a hard shell where it matters, aka her career and stuff, but is a semi-precious gem overall

or, for a better way to describe it though it sounds like i’m just repeating myself: she gives off Proper head bitch vibes ( subtract the Need to feel powerful in being a piece of shit to anyone who walks past you ) but she’s really just a blunt and serious brat with a super dry and at times menacing sense of humour

she won’t hesitate to call you out on your shit or make it clear that she doesn’t like you, though, even if she appears cordial on the surface

as a result, hockey players HATE her !

bc she rips into them the most for frequently poor experiences with her fellow ice people. most of which are them hogging her reserved practice time, and being thirsty and pretentious dicks about it within and outside of the arena

kind of dramatic and a meme ngl, curses quite a bit, whips out korean or her conversational-level french far too often — especially if she’s shit-talking bc you made an ugly choice but is trying to be a Supportive Friend

english name came from halle berry bc hyunmi thought she was rly pretty on all the red carpets her mom would have on growing up sfgdkjflk

unwinds with the usual netflix and wine

oH also prob still hurts herself by overworking, especially after That Lost Opportunity, i hate

she’s pan but..... girls disappoint her far less than guys so she has a preference djfgskgdkf

all of that being said, it clearly plays into how she’s perceived by others, so —

her view and reception on starred

she..... probably doesn’t do too hot tbh

well. maybe she Does if starred's social ladder resembled most high school/college shows, movies.... rps, but it doesn't really so —

in all fairness, she probably does do better than i'm assuming rn bc.. she Is a character of sorts, who knows gskfksl but MOVING ON !

her blunt and kinda snarky attitude is partially Why she hates this point system, bc people tend to kiss ass just so they aren’t given a low rating whereas she can only hold back about 5% of her unfiltered opinion — but that’s IT !

tbh she relies heavily on her involvement in extracurriculars, and especially her public image from her glory days, more so than she herself to keep her head above water

so she looks entitled from that alone

given the way i’ve played her in the past, ik she might come across as a hbic type: thinks she’s the best ( which.. she kinda does sjkfgd ), savours the power she tries to or does in fact exert, doesn’t come across as particularly sympathetic or nice, etc

but she’s just a shit disturber with thick skin and a slight kink for receiving admiration and respect, puts herself first a little too much

in fact, she doesn’t really Care to hold people by a leash, but yeah, it can come across much differently since her tone never really Shifts if she doesn’t know you well, doesn’t trust you, knows you’re naive with such things, doesn’t like you, is just fucking around or in a sour mood.... the list goes on

so if your character focuses on who’s the nicest or most cheerful when giving high ratings, makes a v quick judgment on their character from a first impression, she’s gonna be near the bottom of their list dfsghkfgj

and like i said, she doesn’t care for the system Enough to change any of this, so she gets by

KDFJGSKFL uh, let’s end it there bc this is painfully long — congratulations if you’ve made it to the end of this intro from hell ! if anyone wants to plot, like this or im me !! ( ps, if you prefer d*scord like yours truly, just ask for it or send me yours ! )

#╳┊: — these are stacy's baby ! •「 ooc. 」#starred:intro #y'all i'm SO sorry this got so long kfdgkgsdj

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webcricket · 6 years

Text

Looking Glass

Chapter 3 - The Quote Unquote Situation

Pairing: CastielXAU!Reader

Word Count: 1914

Summary: A summer hiatus series. The reader is a refugee from the apocalypse AU where angels pursue humans with righteous wrath under the rule of the archangel Michael. Against all odds, the reader awakens in a world where the apocalypse never happened and not everyone is who they seem to be. Does her heart truly long to save her world, or does it belong now to the last person she ever expected to give it to?

A/N: I know everyone is eager for the reader and Cas to properly meet and greet - it’s happening next chapter! Until next week, feel that slow summer simmer...

Miss a chapter? Have a Masterlist Link!

Sam’s gaze locks on his brother’s mouth flexing wide; hazel horror enlarging in the suspense, his own mandible gapes and aches with a pang of physical sympathy at viewing the freakish yawn of square jawline. A cringe creeps across his shoulders, constricting the muscles there so that his neck recoils into itself. Unable to tear his aghast gawp from the impending massacre, he rubs the phantom pain afflicting his chin with a thumb and watches.

Jaw unhinged and snake-like, Dean’s teeth and lips warp in seeming docudrama slow motion to engulf a full corner of a meat-stuffed soggy sesame seed bedecked bun swimming in red sauce. A piece of saturated bread sheers away under the stress, carrying with it a rubbery appendage of artificial orange cheese that extends from his grease glistening fingers to the plate.

Sam can almost hear a melodramatic British narration of the scene in the dull background din of the diner: ‘Witness the fervor of the squirrel – that eager huntsman of epicurean delights – consuming what may be his final meal in single-minded preparation for the coming wintery apocalypse.’ If it were farther from the truth, it might be funny. Despite this grave thought, Sam tries a relaxed smile on for size so as not to dampen his brother’s glad mood.

The elder Winchester lets out a long, low, and borderline sinful groan of decadent approval; a stupid gooey-gummed grin stretches his stuffed cheeks. Freckled lids flutter to drape across greens glittering with wanton gluttony. “Ohmygod,” he moans around the mouthful of chili cheeseburger ecstasy. With no room for spoken words to escape, gobs of chili dribble from the corner of his overfull mouth and ooze down his shirt with every muffled syllable. “You have to try one of these!”

Staggered to silence by the sloppy show, Sam’s slim smile curls up and twitches on one side in a patent blend of outward revulsion and amusement as Dean devours another bite before bothering to swallow the first.

For the Winchesters – Dean in particular – it’s often like this on the other side of a whopping failure sandwiched by a win. Food, drink, and a frivolous attitude abound to celebrate a turnaround in their favor. It’s Dean’s version of having room to breathe after having a portion of the weight of the world lifted from their chests; Sam generally obliges to play the role of hapless bystander.

For the moment, anyway, the knockout punch of losing Gabriel and their source of rift-revealing archangel grace to use to journey to the Armageddon-devastated universe to rescue their mom, Jack, and – if they’re feeling magnanimous – maybe even Ketch, is semi-superseded by Rowena’s redemption; after all, she’s a powerful ally. Sam allows himself to crack a compact authentic smile about that witchy bit of progress. Perhaps the situation finally is turning around for them.

Dean’s cell phone, discarded on the tabletop in front of him beside an as yet unused napkin, jumps to life; it vibrates and blasts out the opening instrumental of Stairway to Heaven. Gastronomic orgasm denied mid-chew, the hunter drops the dripping burger on his plate with a juicy slosh. He smacks his sticky hands together; and in lieu of the obvious choice of using the readily available napkin, he swipes his messy fingers across his pants. “It’s Cas,” he mumbles.

“Ya think?” Sam sasses, spiking a brow as if he didn’t already know by the not-so-subtle ringtone.

Dean scowls at his brother. Wiping his face with the back of a sleeve, he snatches up the phone. “Hey Cas! You’re not dead!” He punctuates the proclamation with a smirk even though Cas can’t see the facial quirk to appreciate it; not that he isn’t happy their angelic ally is alive – he’s thrilled – it’s just that this ‘Hail Mary!’ notion of his to ask Heaven for help was an idiotic gambit in a long line of rash ideas using the angel’s own life as collateral again.

Castiel’s blues spin upward in their sockets to regard the drab grey ceiling of the bunker hallway. He can hear both the conflict of condescension and relief fringing in Dean’s tone. He’ll never admit it aloud to his friend, but in instants like this a simple ‘Hey man, I knew you’d get through this one!’ would go a long way toward bolstering his ever-floundering morale. Instead, he finds Dean’s default setting of shocked sounding jocular jabs when wrong about stuff – stuff like the wisdom of Heaven’s arguably second least favorite fallen son trying to crash the pearly gates to implore aid and the peril of undertaking such a task – pointless and demeaning redirection.

He’s a billion-odd-year-old being capable of making his own decisions – poorly informed, plotted, or otherwise – and taking responsibility for the outcomes. He asked Dean once to show him some respect; he’s still waiting on it. And anyhow, if they’re keeping tabs on who has died or almost died more times in desperate dim-witted self-sacrificing plots to save the day, Dean’s the one with the winning score. The angel offers a snarky rejoinder instead of pointing out this fact. “While I appreciate your unwavering confidence in my ability to not get dead again, this isn’t about the angels.”

“It isn’t?” Dean laughs in nervy anticipation of the update’s evidently non-angelic punchline even though he knows odds are the joke won’t be remotely funny and invariably involves worse news; Cas is just about the least hilarious – on purpose – person he knows.

“What’s going on?” Sam prods from across the table. He recognizes his brother’s uncomfortable chuckle. “Is it about Gabriel?”

Dean catches the angel’s slow nasal inhalation of breath happening through the speaker. Shaking his head, he holds up an admonitory finger at his brother to beg silence.

After a pregnant pause and a quick glance at the locked door of the bunker sleeping quarters room designated by the number 15 – which also happens to be the angel’s chosen room – as he paces by it on hallway patrol, Cas states, “I’m in the bunker and we have a . . . situation.”

“What kind of situation? Did you drink the last beer?” In Dean’s mind this is both the best and worst case scenario defining a situation at the bunker.

“Situation?” Forehead corkscrewing into a knot in the middle, Sam ignores Dean’s warning digit.

Peeling the phone from his ear, Cas halts in the hall to grudgingly glower at it; and via it, Dean. Snorting sharp through his nose, his frustration flecked blues again roll skyward at the Winchester taking nothing about this call seriously. He regrets not choosing to call Sam instead. Pinching the bridge of his nose, jamming the device back to his ear, he grumbles, “Dean, this is serious.”

Air of good humor precipitously threatening to plummet, Dean gripes in retort, “It’s you, of course it’s serious. Once, just once, maybe you could lighten up a little bit.”

“Need I remind you that Michael is maneuvering as we speak to breech the walls of his world to crossover and destroy this one, and you’re suggesting that I lighten up?” Cas doesn’t bother to repress the gravel of a reproachful rumble grating his voice.

“Just a little bit,” Dean answers in smug satisfaction at successfully riling the angel who ruined his lunch.

“Perhaps that would be a viable option if your apocalyptically traumatized houseguest hadn’t attempted to murder me a few minutes ago with a meat cleaver in the kitchen and then barricade herself in my bedroom after she fled.” And here his friends had conveyed worry about homicidal angels – all the extant nine or ten of them currently keeping Heaven from flickering out of existence forever; not that anyone’s going to ask him about that concerning development.

It sounds too much like a rousing game of Clue for Dean not to snicker. “She tried to off you . . . with a meat cleaver?”

“What’s going on?” Sam asks, making a mental note to request that Cas call him first in the future – if only for the sake of efficiency.

Cas huffs a longsuffering sigh, “Well, Dean. Evidently she thought the bag of flour and variety of canned goods hurled at my face weren’t sufficient to subdue me although I offered no protest. Suffice to say, she’s not a big fan of angels. Though, along with the physical violence, she used much more colorful phrasing to make the point.”

Dean scoffs, “Why the hell did you tell her you’re an angel? You know where she’s from angels are public enemy number one.”

“That’s the problem – I didn’t say anything; I didn’t have to. Somehow, she knows me; knows my name. And she’s absolutely terrified of me. I don’t know what to-”

“Alright,” Dean interrupts, gathering the gist that he and Sam need to hoof it back to the bunker before their rescued apocalyptic butterfly takes flight and flaps her wings to cause chaos somewhere in their world. “We’re a half day’s drive out. Hang tight.” He shoves his plate aside with a frown, muttering, “And maybe in the meantime, try apologizing or something to smooth things over.”

The angel’s brow furrows at the proposal insinuating he wronged you. “Apologize for what?” Apologize for healing you? For being courteous? For being . . . himself?

“Figure it out.”

“Dean? Dean!” Call disconnected, the angel clamps his fingers across the black screen and drops his arm limply to his side. When it comes to the number of times a pair of angelic eyes can ascend to their heavenly zenith as a result of a solitary phone call, Castiel holds the record encompassing all of creation. Glaring at a cobweb strung across a corner of the ceiling, the confused notion he should be sorry nonetheless niggles him. In healing you, he remembers the rejuvenating touch of his grace brushing the outskirts of the charred wasteland of your mind – a swath of still smoking cauterized devastation where he did not dare venture without permission. He remembers the broken vow necessity of what he did to Donatello. He wonders if he – the other him – did that to you.

You lift your earlobe from where it’s been compressed to numbness listening to the conversation happening outside the wooden door. Looking at floor, in the trickle of light streaming through the space at the bottom of the doorframe into the darkened room, you see the shadow of the seraph shift, hesitate, then disappear. The words he spoke to this Dean character echo in your mind and wobble your legs: ‘Need I remind you that Michael is maneuvering as we speak to breech the walls of his world to crossover and destroy this one . . .’

Sinking to sit, you wrap your arms around your knees and continue to anxiously watch the gap of uninterrupted light for any sign of his return. Your body rocks in a reflex of comfort. Michael’s world, you think, your world. And . . . this one. It would explain why Castiel, this Castiel, appeared so genuinely startled when you lashed out at him. Why he didn’t attack. Why he mustered only enough movement to shield himself and clear a path for you to escape. And also why he hasn’t broken down the door to finish his fiery interrogation.

You shiver and hug your limbs tighter. Or maybe this is all a part of his sadistic endgame – a trick of the mind meant to confuse you, to dupe you into letting down your guard – smoke, and now mirrors.

Next: Ch. 4 - Somewhere Under the Rainbow

#castiel x reader #castiel x you #castiel series #castiel x y/n #castiel reader insert #spn reader insert #spn x reader #castielxreader #castielxyou #cas x reader #cas x you #reader x castiel #you x castiel #castiel fanfiction #spn fanfiction #au!castiel #castielxau!reader #cricket writes cas

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marvelbuilt · 6 years

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hi okay so i’m going to make this post because i dont have too many rp friends that i can even talk to about this.

so im like really upset right now because two of my best rp friends havent like spoken to me in months. so basically we’d all been friends for a very long time via MANY different fandoms. we had our own discord gc and servers and stuff and talked nearly every day. they were really there for me when my ex dumped me unexpectedly and i was an utter mess and they were there for me as i got better. i’ve also been there for them for insecurities, among other things. we were all really good friends.

so two of us watch drag race, nothing new there, and while i assumed the other was watching live, with me, i sent in a group chat “MONET WAS ROBBED” to which she was understandably upset that i spoiled that singular episode on who went home for her. but the way she went about it really put me off. that coupled with my worry that i was just annoying them both at this point, had me overreacting and leaving the gc. i thought things would just cool down; whatever. well no one ever messaged me, not that i expected them to, so i eventually messaged them and apologized and explained why i felt insecure about things and that i loved them a lot like literally sisters to my gay ass. then we talked about like one thing? and then they completely stopped responding to my messages.

that was fine; i just figured they had left the rpc, as all their blogs went onto hiatus and maybe they’d abandoned their discords as well, idk. so then we still have each other on snapchat and insta/twitter. she tweets something about waiting for incredibles 2, i tweet back something just semi-sarcastic with edna mode handing out tissues. it was a joke but apparently we weren’t there yet lmao. so never got a response. like a month or two passes and i realize that our snap chat group is now empty (we like used it very rarely), meaning both of them had left. mind you; i’m only talking about one of them currently.

that was like a week or two ago and i realized; wow maybe they’re like done with rp for good and don’t want anything to do with me. i dont reminders of friends who aren’t coming back so i removed them from my discord (they hadn’t responded in months anyway) and unfollowed via twitter and like removed them from snapchat. it’s not that deep, especially for people who didn’t seem to want to talk anymore.

anyways; after the yj trailer was released during comic con last week, i decided to make dcbuilt finally and really buckle down. i started following people and found a blog that looked remarkably similar to that one friend. i followed and liked posts, until i finally realized that it was in fact her. i then realized she was never going to follow back and again tried to make amends, explaining why i removed them from things, because i figured they weren’t coming back / didn’t want to talk anymore; whatever. i wasn’t sure how to contact her, so i resorted to an ask on our blogs yesterdays. i said i didn’t want to go back into yj without having her to talk about it with among wanting to be friends again.

this morning i woke up, half-expecting to not hear back, only to see i’m no longer following the blog, meaning she softblocked me. i couldn’t even get an answer to whether or not we could be friends again; just a softblock so she doesn’t have to deal with me.

i literally lost TWO of my best friends because i spoiled an episode of drag race and put a gif of edna mode handing tissues on twitter. like, they are some of the sweetest girls i have ever met and i adore them dearly, still to this day. the issues i caused were mistakes; no doubt. but i never thought of them as issues that would result in a softblock. i dont even know what my other friend thinks of me?? like i can only just imagine she’s going along with her.

anyway, the yj fandom is small right now and i’m worried that things are going to be awkward and im like just kinda floored that all of this has happened. like i never meant to harm in anyway. i dont even know why she’s upset with me. i spoiled an episode of who went home on drag race, apologized and was forgiven. then, thinking we’re good, i sent a sarcastic tweet of edna mode handing tissues for waiting to see incredibles 2 and never got anything in return. then i was never responded to again; figured they were just done with rpc and didn’t want to talk anymore, so i removed them from things. then i find out that’s not the case and attempt to explain my, if you ask me, minuscule actions, and she won’t even talk to me and just softblocks me instead.

i cant stand to have people mad at me; but especially people i was so close to for so long and the fact that i don’t even know the reason why. like is it still the drag race thing? the edna gif? i never blocked them or insulted them or talked bad about them? i literally adore and love them. like i just can’t believe i’m losing some of my best friends over something that i don’t even know. like is it because i removed them? because they left the snap group first; i didn’t do that.

ugh i know no one is going to read this full thing through but im just like??? what is going on? im literally shaking i cant stand not knowing

#☼ // ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵃᵛᵉᶰᵍᶦᶰᵍ (ooc)

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snapshotadeline · 3 years

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Adeline on Hiatus 2020

This is how Adeline spent 2020, copy and pasted directly from discord with Darcy’s player and not edited because fuck it I’m lazy.

darkmasterkatt02/27/2020

I think Adeline takes the time to work on personal projects, because it’s something she hasn’t had the time for and she misses it

cassandra july’s abs02/27/2020

She’s gonna be hanging out at Bold doing all her projects omg

darkmasterkatt02/27/2020

a significant amount of time is probably spent in the blanket nest that is sure to become a semi-permanent fixture in Darcy’s office, yes

[1:46 PM]

the first couple weeks at least 4 people ask, on any given day, if Adeline would like a chair or something that isn’t the floor and 9 times out of 10 she answers that, that’s what Darcy’s lap is for

cassandra july’s abs02/27/2020

Omfg Darcy snorts

darkmasterkatt02/27/2020

but I do think she limits that time to after therapy and on really bad days, because she doesn’t wanna be in the way and as much as she knows Darcy doesn’t mind working around her, she does know it’s not as conducive to work as they perhaps wish it was. And she honestly likes her blanket nest that she always makes sure to fold neatly and out of the way when she leaves (cos she starts just leaving them there to make it easier). She probably bakes more, tries new recipes, brings them in for Darcy’s employees. Makes them both dinner and brings it to the office when she knows Darcy is really caught up in work and probably won’t leave til late. And she has to explain to her therapist (who is high key worried about dependency issues) that she could work anywhere and she does work at the studio, but she enjoys the environment Bold offers and yes, that means being around her girlfriend, but she’d just as easily spend time in Darcy’s office WITHOUT Darcy there because, ultimately, she’s been working alone since she broke into the business, and while she has a handful of people who work at either studio, 90% of all work is done so separately, there’s rarely anyone there. But at Bold, if she gets particularly bored of working in Darcy’s office she can probably go find someone else willing to let her camp out in a corner. She probably does this at some point too, like finds herself in various offices and work spaces and people actually ask her opinion on like article layouts or some shit cos they realize that she might be able to help, probably cos she walks by someone who seems frustrated, back pedals and takes a look and just given an offhand suggestion to try this thing and it works. And like, she’s not even necessarily doing it on purpose but I think in a lot of ways, Bold thrives in a way it hasn’t before while Adeline is just hanging out.

darkmasterkatt02/27/2020

OMG, so when Darcy hires whoever, to replace Ben, they’re just like “who is the woman in the beanie?” cos confusion as to why she’s always around and dressed like that to a group of people and there are a handful of distinct answers:

Boss’ girlfriend

Adeline Finley-Jackson (some include the word Fucking between her first and last names apparently)

Don’t you know your photographers?

Office mom - this sparks an argument over whether or not she’s best labelled mom or aunt, they do ultimately agree on mom

cassandra july’s abs02/27/2020

I LOVE HELPFUL ADELINE OMG

[2:17 PM]

LMFAO OMG YES

[2:18 PM]

The replacement ofc doesn’t ask Darcy

darkmasterkatt02/27/2020

I mean, to be fair, in a work environment asking coworkers before asking the boss is usually how one goes about gaining information. but it is possible the strange array of answers prompts them to be like “So… I’ve kinda gathered who she is, but why is she here?” Adeline, walking in to flop down into her nest “Cos I can be.”

cassandra july’s abs02/27/2020

This is very true

darkmasterkatt02/27/2020

Cos I think they try to crowdsource that answer to but no one has an actual answer and some people are just like “She’s been hanging around longer than I’ve been here.”

[2:25 PM]

The person just looking at Adeline, who is sat in her nest with a lollipop and her laptop, so confused and turning to Darcy like “Does she work here?”

“When I want to.”

cassandra july’s abs02/27/2020

LMAO

[2:29 PM]

Darcy is “Don’t worry about it.”

darkmasterkatt02/27/2020

“You look like you could use a muffin. They’re in a box in the breakroom. Go. Get the muffin. Eat the muffin. Don’t stress.”

The person just kinda does what they’re told because a) muffins and b) it seems like the less confusing option

OMG some executive or something in the industry is on a visit and asks how Darcy got Adeline on her staff/ if it’s weird given they’re dating and Darcy is just like “She’s not my employee.”

“But we walked by that office, she was working.”

“She does that for fun. She wasn’t hired to do it, she wasn’t asked to do it, she just started doing it. And I’ve learned not to question what my girlfriend chooses to do in her spare time.”

[2:41 PM]

And it probably comes up as a concern with some people that maybe they’re taking advantage of it, when they ask Adeline’s help with stuff but what none of them pick up on, until she goes back to working, and is thus only in the office a couple days a week for more than like an hour, is that all they’re doing is learning from a resource that is freely offered to them.

darkmasterkatt02/27/2020

Please imagine Adeline (after having the IT people make sure EVERY computer in the office is set to sleep when the power button is pressed) walking up on someone completely stressing themself out over a thing, hitting the power button and in response to the following freak out going “You need to stop. Five minutes. Take five minutes. Go for a walk, get a drink, eat a snack. Just sit here and do anything but that and then go back to it. You’ll thank me later.” And then not only does she ultimately train them to do it to each other, she trains them to do it to themselves. To take those 5 minutes when things just AREN’T working and step away and reset cos like 9 times out of 10 they figure out what the hell was wrong way faster than if they didn’t. And they even manage to apply it to non-computer related work.

Though I feel like the first time she does it to Darcy she sits in Darcy’s lap and physically forces her to give her attention for those 5 minutes.

[2:57 PM]

And cos the employees learn from Adeline they start to turn things in that need less revisions, which makes Darcy’s work a hell of a lot easier

cassandra july’s abs02/27/2020

THIS IS DELIGHTFUL

darkmasterkatt02/27/2020

And like, her logic is simple: better a 5 minute break to reset than spending all this time doing nothing but frustrating yourself.

It’s something she taught herself with editing photos. If the thing doesn’t look right STOP LOOKING AT IT and try again later when everything has stopped blurring together. And all it takes is 5 minutes for that little reset.

cassandra july’s abs02/27/2020

She gets kisses and “thank you for looking after them”

Aka Adeline goes on hiatus and accidentally revolutionizes the way Bold works

darkmasterkatt02/27/2020

“They just seemed so stressed.”

[3:23 PM]

But OMG they come back from Disney (in which Adeline was very serious about there being no business outside of absolute emergencies) and Darcy expects things to be a bit of a mess, cos that’s how it’s been other times, but it’s not, cos her little family has figured out how to get things done without constantly needing her approval on every little thing cos they’re actually confident in what they’ve come up with

darkmasterkatt02/27/2020

Which, of course, people take notice of because Bold was amazing before but now it’s even better and that’s HARD to do so there’s an interview with Darcy about it, and like you don’t give away your secrets so the answer is that Adeline made the entire office her personal project and the interviewer is just ??? Because what does that even mean? She’s a photographer. But like Darcy’s just like “You’d have to ask her.” Because let’s be real, even Darcy isn’t 100% sure what happened, she just knows Adeline did.

[3:33 PM]

“The best thing that ever happened to me, happened to Bold. Adeline.”

cassandra july’s abs02/27/2020

Omfg “She was the missing piece of the Bold puzzle.”

darkmasterkatt02/27/2020

Omg imagine Adeline forgetting Darcy had an interview and like realizes as she’s walking in, cos she hears her name and is just like, “Didn’t mean to interrupt. I’ll come back.” And even the interviewer is like “Can you stay though?”

cassandra july’s abs02/27/2020

DARCY PATS HER LAP

I feel like, by next year when Adeline proposes people are almost more scared of Adeline than they are Darcy because in being with Darcy and working on her mental health, Adeline grows as a person. She gains stability and in that stability she gains confidence. Sure, she still rocks skinny jeans and a band tee with a beanie more times than she doesn’t, but she walks like the punk she is. Head held high, shoulders back, and smile soft. The first person to tell you off for being a dick but also the first person to react to a child crying. She finally finds the balance she’s been looking for since becoming a professional photographer. The balance between the person she is and the work she does.

darkmasterkatt02/27/2020

Adeline just happily doing so, settling herself in Darcy’s lap like the fucking throne it is. And like, what was supposed to be an interview with Darcy turns into an interview with what is, essentially, the fashion industry’s power couple. And like Adeline is very open about what she did because yes, she holds a loyalty to Darcy and in turn to Bold, she’s the kind of person who wants to see the world thrive and if no one out there is pushing as hard as Bold is, then the industry stagnates. Nothing gets better. To be on top without challenge is to become complacent and prone to falling.

#about: a camera lens mask #about: headcanons

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level99life · 3 years

Text

I’m back

Just a quick post to say that I’m back and I’ll be trying to actually update this now. I basically set this up last year and then never touched it again - becauseeee I immediately got in a relationship lol.... I haven’t re-read my posts yet but maybe I talked about it? Because I would have been texting her the very week I set this up I believe.

A quick update about me: So yeah, that relationship thing happened, that was scary. We ended roughly around August 2020 (but off-and-on did a friends-with-benefits thing until January 2021, after which I’ve since completely blocked her on everything - maybe I’ll go into that in the future, probably not though). At work, I took on more management roles and so that takes up a lot of my time and mental bandwidth (I’m slowly trying to get a new job, however - one I’m not embarrassed about - so far I just have my resume like 95% complete). At home, I still live with super weird/messy roommates that I really need to get out of (surprisingly this is probably the #1 issue in my life right now, and I think that by solving this I’ll have a lot of derivative benefits across all other facets of my life). Relationship-wise, currently not seeing anyone or even trying; I’m forcing myself to address other things before I bring someone else into my life (relationships are time-sinks and money-sinks, not to say that’s bad [in my opinion those are like the best money/time-sinks possible, it’s basically the whole point] but I either literally don’t have those things available to me at the moment or need to figure out what I can budget for it). Free-time wise: completely stopped working out all of COVID so far - I had injured my back (that took a good 6-8 months to heal), my stomach constantly has problems that get much worse when I work out, and I haven’t been able to figure out meals that... A) I can make fast enough to have time to do other things in the day, B) have enough calories that I even gain weight when I’m not working out (all of COVID my weight has slowly been going down, so I can only imagine what it would have been if I had been working out). I played RuneScape a little bit all year (came back from a 3 year hiatus) and finally maxed both of my accounts plus some other side-goals, and I’m calling it mostly quits again (I might pick it up every few months, but I’m definitely done grinding) -- this is probably the most important part to make note of as it’s what made me remember this blog lol; throughout the last year I blogged on my clan’s dead forum and it felt really good to journal goals and accomplishments and thoughts like that, so once again I’d like to try applying that idea to my real life here. Self-wise

I just finished some quick spring-cleaning of the blog (fixing pictures, styles, links and such). Also renamed it from Lvl 99 Life to Level 99 Life because yeah. Still not totally sold on using Tumblr for this (honestly I love the format of forums so much, but I want something to be a bit more public even if I’m not actively sharing it and expecting people to read it - I love semi-anonymous, semi-public posting), but it’s one of those “we’ll improve it with time” things I need to get more comfortable with (I so often fall into the trap of thinking I need to perfect things at the very beginning).

Some quick reflections on this blog: Almost certainly not going to do those weekly update things. Structure like that, while pleasing to my OCD-like tendencies of wanting strict organization, is stressful as fuck. Nah. I’m keeping this super loose (as you can tell from this jank-ass post) the same way that my RuneScape blog was over the last year, and maybe with time it’ll converge to something more structured.

Alright, I think that about covers everything. My ending notes will be my current overarching life goals and what I’m actively working on:

Actively working on:

Project 0: Get a rotation of meals to make every week (super quick to make, high calories so I gain weight, and that don’t upset my stomach).

Next life goals:

Finish my PC (I’ve put next to zero focus on this since January-ish so I’m forcing myself to re-focus and get this bitch done; I literally just need a GPU but I’ve been super defeated because of how hard they are to buy for normal prices... this annoying project has taken me something like 5 years and will stand as a trophy to my inability to complete things in reasonable timeframes whatsoever, jesus fuck).

Finish budget & financial goals spreadsheet (I don’t want to know how many hundreds of hours I’ve put into this now).

Finish resume, post to Indeed/Linkedin/etc., look for a new job.

Find a new place to live (alone or with just one other person).

Go back to college.

EDIT: I went back and read my other posts. Oh boy. Alright so, from this post:

Today, Sunday, has been especially bad. I got into bed as soon as I got home and I haven’t been able to leave. I haven’t had this happen in months, if not more, so it’s worrisome. I’m scared about roommates seeing me for some reason, can’t leave to eat anything, and sometimes can’t even get out to go to the bathroom.

Yeah, I continued to be like this all year, and especially all of 2021 so far. I had no fucking clue until now how literally nothing has changed in over a year. I need to start seeing doctors again, wow. Really proves the importance of journaling like this - you don’t realize the time of things until you read old thoughts. In January I was my absolute worst - I was literally only awake for 9 hours as most, and slept the rest of the day, and it’s becoming that again.

I truly can’t get myself to go grocery shopping, and I ran out of meal foods on Friday, so I’ve been severely under-eating. This has likely caused a loop wherein I feel more depressed/anxious/etc. due to my hormones and stuff being out of whack from bad diet, further preventing me from going out to get food. So much for the budget helping with this.

Still such a huge problem, if not worse? I don’t think I even go grocery shopping once a month anymore, it’s a little over that. I do laundry just once a month. These two things are examples where I feel like living on my own would have huge bonuses though, since (as I talked about above) I’m so scared of being around people (and conflict with them in terms of needing to use certain things/rooms at certain times) that I can’t just get shit done when I want, be noisy at weird hours in the kitchen, etc.

I started my role as assistant manager at work. Nothing has changed yet, no training yet, so it’s very weird where people are asking me things that I can’t do anything about.

Yeah that hasn’t changed. Fuck this job actually sucks harder than I thought. I could be hard on myself and say it’s (at least in part) on me to have initiative and seek things out on my own, but honestly no - I’m blaming the company for such a terrible training structure.

#update

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