#maybe give you all a mass brain transplant

[vezinas]

me when the function got critical flyers foundation lore

[iamtrebleclefstories]

The Little Bit of Hope I Cling to -

Part 1:

Izzie goes to Grey Sloan looking for Dr. Grey, Dr. Bailey or Dr. Karev, meets Dr. Jo Karev instead

*takes place during early s15*

“Hello Ms. Stevens, my name is Dr. Helm and I will be the resident on your case today. Now it says in your medical history that you’re a cancer survivor?” Helm asked the woman in front of her.

“Yes,” Izzie Stevens nodded her head. “I’ve been having some distressing symptoms lately. I came here to make an oncology appointment since this is where I used to get my treatment, but this morning I fainted while in the shower. I’ve been very nauseous and have not been able to keep any food down. I’ve lost a significant amount of weight. I think my mets may be back.”

“Alright, well I will call for oncology and surgical consults while I get you up for CT,” Helm nodded.

“Could I request a surgeon?” Izzie asked. “I used to work here. I’m a surgeon myself.”

“Sure,” Helm smiled. “Who would you want on your case?”

“Dr. Bailey or Dr. Grey, or Dr. Karev would be fine,” Izzie paused. “We used to be great friends.”

“Of course. Let me go find out if they’re available,” Helm said before walking off to the nurses station to find out. Minutes later Helm returned to Izzie’s bed side. “Okay, so Dr. Bailey and Dr. Grey are both in surgery right now, but Dr. Karev is available. Is that alright?”

“Yeah,” Izzie nodded nervously. She was jittery at the thought of seeing her ex-husband again. “That’s fine.”

“Great,” Helm smiled. “Dr. Karev should be down here soon. In the meantime I’m going to run a portable ultrasound to see if there are any masses in your abdomen.”

Izzie took a deep breath. She hadn’t expected to see him so soon. She knew coming back to Seattle for treatment would bring back all kinds of complicated memories. She didn’t come to start any trouble, though. She didn’t come to try to get him back. Sure, a part of her hoped that maybe he’d want her back and she’d have a chance to fix what she so horribly destroyed before. It really wasn’t why she was here, honestly. Her cancer was back. She was sure of it. She didn’t need to look at the scans to figure it out. She just wanted to be surrounded by friends as she fought it again.

***

“Hey!”

“Hey,” Jo smiled as Alex came up behind her and placed a kiss on her cheek. “I’ve missed you today.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Alex bent down to give her another kiss. “Anything exciting so far?”

“Not really,” Jo shook her head. “I did a bowl resection, supervised a resident perform an appy, and just checked on my post-ops. I think I’ll just go to the lab and work on my research if nothing comes up.”

“You could always join me,” Alex offered. “I have a kidney transplant in about an hour if you want to scrub in. I’m actually getting to do surgery today and the only thing that could make it better is if you were there with me.”

“Sounds tempting,” Jo leaned forward and brushed her lips against her husband’s. “We haven’t scrubbed in together for a while now.”

“I know,” Alex nodded. “And maybe after we can go to my office and... do some other stuff, too.”

Jo laughed, “You just want to get in my pants.”

“Always,” Alex wiggled his eyebrows and grinned. “I’m really just trying to knock you up before the year is over.”

“If I would’ve known you’d be this eager to have sex with me when I suggested trying to a baby I would’ve said yes years ago,” Jo giggled. She wouldn’t admit it to his face, but she found his desire for her incredibly sexy. If anything, it made her want him even more. “You know, that reminds me actually that I’m supposed to be getting my period this week. So, let’s cross our fingers and hope for the best.”

“Hey,” Alex smiled and his face softened. “We just started trying. It usually takes a while. So, whether you’re pregnant or not, it’s okay. We’ll just keep having fun trying until it happens.”

“Yeah. I know,” she sighed and reached up to wrap her arms around his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Sorry chief, but I need to speak with Dr. Karev,” Helm walked up interrupting their moment. Jo and Alex separated and nodded for Helm to continue. Helm looked at Jo. “Dr. Karev, there is a patient in the ER requesting you. She’s said that you worked on her along Dr. Bailey and Dr. Grey. They’re both in surgery, so I told her that I’d come find you.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll be right there,” Jo turned back to Alex. “I guess I won’t be scrubbing in with you after all.”

“Some other time,” Alex gave her one last peck on the lips and walked down the hall. “See you later!”

Jo looked at Helm, “Alright, let’s go.”

They walked down to the Pit. Helm briefed her on the patient’s condition and Jo tried to rack her brain for anything that may remind her of the patient, “What did you say that patient’s name was again?”

“Um... it started with an ‘S.’ I’m sorry, I don’t remember. It was something common, though,” Helm apologized. “Oh! And I detected an abnormal mass in her abdomen using the ultrasound machine, so I think her mets are back.”

“That’s fine. You can go ahead and check on other patients while I do the consult,” Jo instructed.

Jo walked up to ER bed 3 and pulled the curtain open, tablet in her hand. She smiled at the blonde woman and extended her hand, “Hi. I’m Dr. Karev. I heard you requested me. I’m so sorry, I but I don’t seem to remember your case. Could you remind me your name?”

Izzie was confused. Who was this woman that walked into her room saying that she was Dr. Karev? Izzie furrowed her brows, “I’m sorry, you’re Dr. Karev? The Dr. Karev I was expecting is male.”

A look of realization dawned on Jo’s face, “You must be looking for my husband.”

“You husband?” Izzie asked. “You’re married to Alex Karev?”

“Yes,” Jo grinned widely. “We recently got married. Everyone keeps mixing us up since I decided to change my last name. I’ve to tell the residents to start being more specific when they’re paging us. What did you say your name was?”

“Izzie Stevens.”

Jo raise her eyebrows in surprise, “Huh... so I guess you really weren’t expecting me.”

“Nope,” Izzie shook her head. “So, I’m guessing you know who I am?”

“I do,” Jo nodded. Jo would be lying if she said she’d never thought about what it would be like to meet the woman who broke Alex’s heart. She’d also be lying if she said that the thought of this woman didn’t intimidate her. Jo had heard all about their tragic love story and a small part of her questioned where Alex’s loyalties lied. Ultimately though, it didn’t matter who this woman was. She was a patient and deserved the best care. Jo had done this before. She’d taken care of Alex’s dad. She could take care of his ex-wife, too. “So, you think your cancer is back?”

“Yeah,” Izzie’s voice cracked. “I was doing great for many years. No symptoms, no relapses, nothing. I was cancer free. I thought I beat it.”

“When did you realize something was wrong?”

“I’ve been here in Washington for the past year taking care of my mom. She was in a car accident that should’ve killed her and has been going through really intensive rehab. A few weeks ago I started feeling sick while on my way to pick her up from physical therapy,” Izzie sighed. “Look, I’m not here to cause any problems or issues or bring back the past. I’m here because I need help if I’m going to fight this, and I can’t let my mom fight for me. She’s got enough to worry about. It would just be nice to see a familiar face again.”

Jo considered herself an empathetic person, which is why it was so difficult to hate this woman. If anything, Jo felt bad for her. Deciding to be the bigger person, Jo called Helm back to bed 3, “I need you to get Dr. Stevens up to CT and admit her. Do you know if Dr. Bailey and Dr. Grey are available yet?”

“They’re still in surgery,” Helm replied.

“How about the chief? Or Webber?”

“Let me check,” Helm pulled the OR schedule up on the tablet. “Dr. Webber is off for the day and Chief Karev is about to go in on his kidney transplant kid.”

“Thanks Helm,” Jo turned back to look at Izzie. “I’m going to go talk to Alex while Dr. Helm takes care of you. I’ll be back soon.”

Jo left the ER and made her way to the OR floor to find her husband. Seeing his name on the board for OR 4, she hurried over to the scrub room. Walking in, she saw him through the window speaking to his patient. Jo waved to get his attention.

Alex scrunched his face and walked over to the scrub room, “Hey. What are you doing here? Didn’t you have a consult?”

“I did,” Jo took a deep breath. “I’m going to tell you something, but I don’t want you to freak out. Just know that I’ve got this and I’m taking care of it. If at any point you feel uncomfortable with me taking in this patient you let me know and I’ll hand it over to Bailey.”

“Who is it?”

“It’s Izzie Stevens,” Jo bit her lip. “I have Helm taking her up for CT now, but I’m pretty sure her cancer is back.”

“Izzie is here?” Alex asked, shocked expression on his face.

“Yeah,” Jo let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding as her eyes watered. “Look, I know you two have lots of unresolved history and when you married me, you didn’t think you’d ever see her again, so I’d understand if—“

“What?” Alex couldn’t believe what he’d heard come out of Jo’s mouth. “Stop talking. I’m not going anywhere. I didn’t marry you because I couldn’t have Izzie. I married you because I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So shut up with this ‘unresolved history’ crap and trust that I’m right here Jo.”

“Okay,” Jo gave him the tiniest nod and a small smile. “I’m sorry. You know how it is... a lifetime’s worth of abandonment issues will really do a number on you.”

“I’m not abandoning you, Jo. Someone would have to kidnap or kill me before I ever willingly leave you,” he cracked a smile.

“I know.”

Alex looked at Jo for minute before speaking again, “Hey, how about I come with you. I can get the peds fellow to do the transplant. We’ll go in and treat her until Bailey gets out of the whipple she’s doing and then we can transfer Izzie’s case to her.”

“Alright.”

[cyclicallife]

We named a Spotify playlist "butterfly." We did so because one of our last meetings before I fell ill, was at the Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum in Chicago. There we watched the butterflies as they fluttered about. The children giggled as they landed on their heads and arms. We all became child-like in that place - even the adults tittered and held out their index fingers, eager for one to take respite there. It was pure glee, but I can't help but wonder if the butterflies knew what was in store, what epic migration, one of the most significant natural events, awaited them come fall.

One of the first songs I put on the playlist was Raign's rendition of "Knocking on Heavens Door," mind you, not "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" as the original version by the great Bob Dylan goes. In my mind, I cannot separate that song and the butterflies, their graceful movement, which I had seen just a few weeks before returning home for treatment, are synonymous with this track. Even now, when sitting with my coffee and gazing at our butterfly bush in our backyard garden, I watch them and mentally hear that synthy-laden, electronic drum version. Her voice, potent, albeit angelic, is layered and drenched in thick reverb. I initially heard it, as mentioned, just weeks after my return to commence my very 1st round of chemo (2016). So there is an extra layer of chemo-drug induced and emotionally consumed intensity.

The mind is extraordinary. Today (August 5th), I woke up and wished my sisters a happy "Cinco de Mayo." I was jarred awake by a landscaping crew, and in my mind, the rhythm of their compactor sounded like an MRI machine. In this hazy mental place, it wasn't August 5th, 2021; it was May 5th, 2017, the date I was supposed to enter Mass General to begin 1 of 2 my stem cell transplant. (Which was the original date, but that was pushed back by a month because of my brain surgery.) So in texting them with good wishes for Cinco de Mayo, I wanted them to feel a sense of normalcy that I didn't on this particular date. (It is my nature to try to protect and cacoon people, especially when it comes to my health saga.)

It took a strong cup of coffee to pull me into the now. First, I began thinking about my strange wake-up and where I was in mind and heart. Then, as it has been a while since I have listened to it, I put on Raign and sipped more coffee. Little did I know at the time, the Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum was this sacred little bubble. Not only for me, though for obvious reasons it was, but it seemed that way for everyone who was there. The laughing children, the adults who regressed to a child-like place, all of them stepped away from the world. Then, as my mind does, at least when it's fully awake and has a bit of coffee, I thought about the people in that blissful bubble and the butterflies fluttering about. Who was giving whom a respite from life; was it the humans gazing in awe at these gorgeous little beings, taken away from their worries and stresses, even if just for a minute. Or was it the butterflies developing a divine connection with a human by landing on their index finger or soaking in the gleeful laughter of children before embarking on a migration of epic proportions?

I will undoubtedly wake up again in a place and time far from here within the next few days. This isn't solely for the benefit of others, to grace them with a feeling of normalcy, but also for me. I have routine bloodwork in a week (August 11th) and an oncologist appointment two days after.

Maybe I will wake-up thinking I'm a butterfly.

"Once upon a time, I dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was myself. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man." Chuang Tzu (c. 369 BC – c. 286 BC)

[skin-slave]

I love the ppl who think if someone doesn't die dramatically right in front of them, gasping for breath, then they didn't die. 60% of ppl die at home, Marvin. And the second most popular place to die is a hospital. And then the bodies go to a morgue or funeral home or refrigerated trailer or crematorium or mass grave on Potter's Field. The bodies aren't stacked in the streets bc that's not how we do things, ya walnut.

C19 is not "just like the flu," and I can't believe this is still a conversation anyone is having. The 18/19 flu season claimed 34,157 lives in the US, and we're currently up to 132,000 for C19. We've had 2.93 million confirmed cases of C19, vs 35.5 million symptomatic flu cases last season. According to my calculator, that means a 4.5% death rate for C19 and a .096% death rate for the flu. So we've had 4x the number of confirmed deaths, and a symptomatic person with C19 is almost 47x more likely to die than a person with last year's flu strains. How is this comparison still being made? Just stop. The horse is dead.

Laying next to it is the Death Counts Only horse. Bc C19 is not a coin that lands on either death or the sniffles. It's a spinner and there are all kinds of prizes that matter just as much, and maybe more. Some ppl end up needing lung transplants. Some have permenant lung damage that is closer to COPD. Some have neurological issues, either from the virus passing the blood/brain barrier and wreaking havoc, or from a stroke. Some have autoimmune issues. Some are sick for months and lose their jobs. And anyone who sees any kind of treatment gets a 'Merika-sized medical bill. That alone is a serious issue, especially since the hardest-hit demographics are already poor. All of those ppl are (eventually) counted as "recovered." The idea that "recovered" means "all better, no big deal," is wrong. "Recovered" can mean unemployment, organ failure, permenant disability, chronic illness, and massive debt. Those are also things that matter.

You do not know if you're an asymptomatic carrier. That's what asymptomatic means. Like the guy who comes to work and says his kids are sick, and he's not sick at all, but then Sara in reception gets sick with the same thing. Maybe you're not the guy. But maybe you are. And unless you're getting a swab jammed up your nose, you'll never know. So taking precautions is the responsible, mature thing to do.

Social distancing and masks are both necessary bc they don't have the same results. Masks keep your spit at your face. Social distancing keeps your spit from contacting someone before it settles. Social distancing is great on a walk down the street. Your spit doesn't touch anyone before it drops, and it drops on the curb, in the sun, where no one is gonna touch it while it's still viable. Masks are for close quarters, where social distancing isn't possible, and communal spaces. Even if you could social distance in the grocery store, your spit is settling on objects inside of that 6' bubble. Groceries. Your spit is landing on groceries, that someone is gonna touch and take home. That's pretty gross to think about, even when the bugs going around are ones our bodies have seen before and are fairly ready to fight off. But that's not what we're worried about rn. So keep your spit to yourself.

And yes, masks help keep your spit to yourself. Pull your t-shirt over your mouth and exhale. Humid, right? That's your spit, baby. Every little droplet that you feel is a droplet not going out into the room. And that means the stuff inside the droplet is staying put, too. (And no, keeping your spit to yourself doesn't make you sick. You can't give yourself an illness you don't already have, bud.) See, viruses are smaller than the weave of fabrics. So are lots of yeast spores and bacteria. But they aren't floating out of your face on little Mary Poppins umbrellas. They're inside droplets of spit. The more spit you keep, the more bugs you keep. Is it 100%? No. Nothing short of a hermetically sealed plastic bubble would be. But it is better than not controlling your spit at all. "All or nothing" is for kids.

"Every man for himself" is for kids. "If I don't see it, it doesn't exist" is for kids. "Not touching you, can't get mad" is for kids. "I'm not doing it just bc you're making me" is for kids. "Haha, look at the scaredy-cat" is for kids. Don't insult yourself by pretending you don't know any better. Put on your grown-up pants and a mask.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

The Art Of Remembrance (Part 34)

For the time being, Sokka relishes her tender touches. For once it is she who is doing the holding and comforting. “What did you see, Sokka?” She murmurs. “I can’t talk you through it if I don’t know what you’re upset about.”

He doesn’t think that he should tell her that he’d seen her. Instead he says, “they were all over...during the war I dropped these people from an airship into the ocean. I didn’t really think about it, I guess that I thought that a boat would come for them. Some of them were wearing armor…”

“They were soldiers?”

He nods.

“They were trying to kill you first?”

He nods again.

“Sokka, everyone that you’ve hurt has tried to hurt you or your friends first.”

“I didn’t hurt them, I killed them.”

“And they would have done you and your sister the same if you hadn’t.” She replies. She grips him that much tighter.

“They were still human.”

“So are you.” She replies. “And you have the humanity to feel bad for it. If you were a monster, it wouldn’t bother you. You wouldn’t have seen it embodied here.”

He finally manages to get his erratic breathing under control. Once again he is thankful for her logical approach and her silky delivery of it.

“There are people who are actually, truly evil, Sokka.” She pauses. “And you’re not one of them.” Her voice seems to soften considerably.

“You think that you are, don’t you?” He asks.

“I don’t know.” She response after giving herself time to think it over. “Maybe.” He follows her stare as it sweeps over the pipes. “I don’t want them back.”

“Your memories?”

“Correct.”

He wants to tell her that he disagrees, that he could love her even with her memories reawakened. But he can’t seem to work past the fears. He’d been a fool to let things kindle this warmly between them.

“Yeah, maybe it’s better if you don’t. Maybe it was meant to be, ya know, that you lost them in the first place.”

.oOo.

Azula’s heart plummets, “yes, it probably was.” She replies. She isn’t sure why it stings so much. She is, after all, the one who had said it first. Perhaps she had been seeking reassurance, looking for him to tell her that she hadn’t been that horrifying. She loosens her hold on him and he catches her arms before she can withdraw them.

“You aren’t mad at me are you?”

“What, no…” She replies, it is all that she can manage without her voice cracking. She swallows down that unreleased cry. “I said it first, right?” She can’t bring herself to say anything else. She gathers that he can’t either.

The follow the pipelines in silence. Heavy silence that the swamp seems to amplify. At first she had thought that it was done tormenting them. And it was, as far as visions go. But it cloakes the sound of the cicada-mantis and the toad-squirrel croaks. It is so very quiet and this time she doesn’t have the words nor will power to break it.

She’d just got him to admit that he loved her and she is certain that they are already growing distant. He doesn’t hold her hand as tightly. And she doesn’t feel right letting him hold it at all. She has an itching impulse to dash off into the swamp and let herself disappear. To follow the manifestations and let her false father ‘get her back on track.’

She almost brings herself to a halt but ultimately decides that she needs to see this mission through. In part she is thankful for the drab and dismal mood, it somehow puts a shroud over her anxieties about entering the compound.

Sokka flicks his boomerang and when it fully captures the attention of the guards, she gives them a quick stun. With disguises acquired they quietly scope out the compound. It isn’t particularly large but it is teeming with activity.

Wheezing and smoking machines pump spirit vine juice through tubes throughout the facility.  She watches their cogs whir and their pulley systems work diligently to keep the vine juice moving.  Tubes of the stuff bubble, glowing a faint bright purple. Looking at it all, she nearly trips over a bump in the floor. She sees firebender and earthbender alike strapped to gurneys. Several of them are being pumped with vine juice. Azula cringes, imagining herself strapped down, veins beating and pulsing with a faint glowing purple. On one occasion she finds a waterbender, this girl bears the same scars as she. But there are more of them.

She begins to feel dizzy. Dizzy and her mind begins to sway and disconnect. Sensations are growing fuzzy and she feels as though she is drifting away from herself. Drifting away until she finds her face upon the body of the waterbender. She looks away and shakes her head.

“Are you alright?” Sokka asks. It is the first time she has heard his voice in well over two hours.

“I’m fine.” She whispers. She has to be. She has to keep it together. She clenches her fists.

“Ah, there you two are!” Exclaims a suave voice. “I’ve been looking for you.” He points at Azula. Despite the chill that blossoms within her soul, raising each and every hair on her body, she keeps herself impassive.

“Whatever for?” She asks, thankful for the stolen masks and identifying badges.

“We believe that we finally have a success and we would like you to record the notes since he was your patient.”

“Of course.” Azula replies.

The man leads them down the hall and past a series of corridors. Along the walls snake veins of luminescent purple. A consent and steady flow of spirit energy that is readily available for tapping into throughout the complex.

She watches a door swing open as another scientist makes her way out. Azula only briefly catches a flash of lush green. There is a massive clump of roots writing and thumping like her heart in the center of the floor. She notices that all of the tubes lining the walls, seem to branch out from that single mass. She can’t quite be certain but she thinks that she had caught sight of bark...perhaps a tree trunk.

As she tags along and time image cements itself in her brain, she is confident in her theory. Along with the manmade tubes, she had seen vines. They don’t grow from beneath nor sprout up between tiles. There had been no tiles at all in that room. It’s floor is the swamp’s floor. They had built this room around a tree and the lumps she has been seeing in the ground are its roots.

She shudders to herself. They are drawing energy from the swamp itself, a seemingly infinite supply of it. It is evil in a way that she hadn’t even seen in the impersonation of her father. It is madness beyond the look she’d seen in her own eyes.

The room they come to is worse still. It hosts massive shelves, nearly filled with jars. Jars that contain tissue that she refuses to try to identify. “He is over there.” The man points to an adjoined room.

The boy within is bound to the floor by metal chains. The earthbender trembles as they enter. “Go on, boy, show them.” The doctor scoffs. “Firebend.”

“But I’m an earthbender.” He winces.

“Not anymore.” The man turns to them, speaking mostly to Sokka. “I know that you’re our newest team member, so I’ll fill you in.” He pauses. “This boy here, is the first success that we’ve had with an element swap. We have used the spirit vines and a few careful snips and cuts to the muscles surrounding his chi points to remove his earthbending abilities and fill them in with fire.”

Azula’s stomach churns. “That’s brilliant.”

The man laughs. “Of course you think so, you think that all of your plans are brilliant.”

She forces her own laugh. “Because they are.”

“Yes well, Long Feng wants us to create benders who can master two elements. This is a start, but we will need to find a way to do the transplant without having to get rid of the person’s original element.”

“Well yes, of course.”  Azula agrees.

“Now.” He turns back to the earthbender. “Firebend.”

He lifts trembling hands and lets a small burst of fire come to them, he flinches back as they explode in his palm. His face, oh Agni, his face. She has never seen such a deep look of horror. She wonders if he is in terrible pain. She knows that he is when she catches sight of the blood leaking from his arms.

Again the room seems to spin and the scars on her arms and belly begin to tickle unpleasantly. She feels faint. On her arms the boy’s blood is reflected.

.oOo.

“Are you alright Aikara?” The man asks.

“She actually hasn’t been feeling well this morning.” Sokka fills in for her.  “I think that it’s one of these bug bites.” He points to a particularly large mosquito-fly bite on her neck. “I heard that these things carry some gross sicknesses.”

“Shall we have a look at her?” The man offers.

Next to him Azula looks as though she may blackout at any moment. Still she holds herself up right. “No, I’m fine for now.” She pauses. “I will retire for the evening and…”

“Yes, that will be fine.” The man replies. “Take the night off, but we need you ready for when Long Feng visits tomorrow.”

“Of course.” Azula agrees. If he didn’t know her so well, he wouldn’t have caught the slight tremor in her voice.

He puts his hand on her back. “Have a good night Dr...uh…”

“He’s having trouble getting your names remembered.” Azula excuses.

“Dr. Ting-Lao.” He reminds.

“Oh. I almost forgot.” Azula speaks and Sokka cringes. “How is Yion?”

Ting-Lao smiles. “She has been giving us some trouble. We only let one of her sons go.” He shrugs. “She may have stolen the princess for us, but she wasn’t able to keep track of her. A half an effort earns only half an award.”

“Right, yes.” Azula replies. “That makes sense.”

“Good day then. Rest well, Aikara.”

At his departure, Sokka walks with her back down the hall. “Are you really okay?” He asks, preparing himself for a second round of trying to fend her off.

“Just...get me out of here.” She replies.

She doesn’t let herself blackout until they are a lengthy distance from the facility. He scoops her into his arms and carries her through the bog.

.oOo.

It is dark when she comes to and she is greeted by a cloud of glowflies. They flash and blink around her like twinkling stars. She still feels faintly out of sorts, she sits up and shakes the fuzz out of her head.

From the looks of it, they have made it back to camp. “Have you filled them in?” Azula asks.

“Yup, and in full detail.” Sokka smiles.

“Good, thank you.”

“Yeah.” He rubs the back of his head.

“Where is everyone else?” She asks.

“Either sleeping or finishing their dinner.” He pauses. “Speaking of…” He holds out a plate of well cooked fish. “It’s really tasty.”

Once again, she resigns herself to eating it. Her stomach has been well and unsettled by the day’s events and she hasn’t eaten all day. It still doesn’t make the fish taste any more tolerable. He seems to stare at the fire. At last he decides to break the quiet. “I shouldn’t have said that, I was scared.”

“Yes, nobody should speak kindly of this.” She gestures to her meal.

He gives a slight laugh. “I’m not talking about the fish. I mean that I shouldn’t have told you not to get your memories back. They’re a part of you. I said that I loved you and that means that I have to love all of you, right?”

“Wrong.” She grumbles.

“Wrong?”

“I don’t love that you snore when you sleep.” She shrugs. “You don’t have to love everything about a person. There are some things that you shouldn’t love.”

Sokka lays down next to her. “That’s the thing about love, Azula. Sometimes you can still do it even if you totally hate something about a person.”

“But what if you come to learn that you hate everything about that person?” She muses aloud, cupping her hands beneath her chest and eyeing the fabric ceiling of their tent.

Sokka rolls onto his side and reaches out to take her hand. “I don’t think that I will. The swamp shows you your fears, not real things.”

“It showed me real things.” She trails off.

“Like what?”

She continues eyeing the ceiling for a long time before finally telling him precisely what the swamp had shown her.

“But the swamp didn’t account for this.” He half smirks before moving her hair to kiss her on the side of her neck.

She hums quietly to herself, “I suppose that it hadn’t.”

“We’re so close to figuring this whole thing out.” He declares. “How about this!? I said that it was meant to be that you lost your memories? Well, maybe we should let fate decide again; if we can get the research notes, I think that you’re meant to get your memories back. If this is another dead end, then maybe you are meant to not have them.”

“I hate leaving things to chance.” She grumbles.

“But you don’t seem to want to make a choice.”

She shrugs. “Fine, we’ll leave it to chance then.”

[ty-talks-comics]

Best of Marvel: Week of October 2nd, 2019

Best of this Week: The Immortal Hulk #24 (Legacy #741) - Al Ewing, Joe Bennet, Ruy Jose, Belardino Brabo, Marc Deering, Roberto Poggi, Paul Mounts and Cory Petit

There are two people in every mirror.

The central theme of The Immortal Hulk has been the reconciliation between the two sides of oneself. For Bruce Banner, it’s himself and the many other personalities that reside inside his mind and body, most notably that of the Devil Hulk. Banner, knowing that because of The Hulk and his connection to the Green Door to Hell he’ll never be able to die or find true peace, has given himself all in to The Devil Hulk’s plan of ending the world as they know it. The Devil Hulk himself is a dark and menacing entity that has some kind of good intention, but a myriad of evil hidden under it.

With an unkillable Hulk and a massive ego, some people are trying to do whatever they can to bring Hulk down and save humanity. One such man is General Reg Fortean. Over the course of this series, Fortean has observed Hulk, taken measures to contain or defeat him time after time. His most recent effort of using Rick Jones’s body to resurrect that of Abomination seemed to work until Banner ripped Jones out of the Abomination shell, saving his old friend. Fortean, however, get s it back and transplants himself into the body of the villain.

This was his biggest mistake. There's something about peering into The Green Door that corrupts the soul and Fortean cast himself into that rabbit hole with reckless abandon. 

This book begins with an amazing shot of the end of all things, potentially the first. We see Galan of Taa, the future Galactus, bathed in the green glow of the Cosmos, the first sign that The Green Door has always been there and that at one point it was wide open. Soon after we cut to the accident that gave Bruce Banner his Hulk powers with the caption of there being two faces in the mirror, “the one you think you know...and the other one.”

Paul Mounts colors each of these of these pages with varying levels of green. The first of Galan with bright shots of green offset by other colors, most notably Galan’s signature purple, echoing back to his origin by Jack Kirby and Stan Lee. Banner’s accident, in the form of a double page spread, is drawn and coated in an overwhelming Green tint while the rest of the book keeps the sinister Green relegated to Hulk and several backgrounds. It gives off a dark feeling that the Hulk and the presence of the Green Door in general is always lurking about, Mounts does his best to sow that feeling of uncomfortability throughout the book with darkly vibrant colors.

Joe Bennett doesn’t let those colors go to waste as his pencils are as amazing as they have been for the entire run of this story. His art has been instrumental for the success of the story with its focus on body horror, general gore and the extreme sense of scale that makes you feel like intense weights are bearing down on you in every instance. Every shot of the Hulk talking with half of his face ripped off is terrifying as Cory Petit letter it perfectly, emphasizing that at the moment, Hulk has no lips to speak of. It’s fleshy and gross and made even worse as Hulk throws his removed face at another soldier and it sizzles, burning him. 

Fortean also goes about using his Abomination bodies abilities to try and spit acid at Hulk. It splashes forth in all of its frothy, bright green goodness. Hulk dodges, it hits reinforcement soldiers and turns them into gross masses of boils, blood and bones as they scream, unable to stop what’s happening to them. Bennet makes you feel the pain and terror by drawing their mouths agape, teeth bared and eyes wide open in pain. Their blood is overpowered by the green of the acid spit and they just melt away.

By this point, Shadow Base’s second-in-command, Doctor Charlene Gowan reconciles with who she is and what she’s done in all of her efforts to contain The Hulk. she realizes that she’s enabled Fortean to become this monster and that she had many opportunities to stop him. She felt the need to serve under Fortean when her obligation to him was the fact that he got her out of prison, gave her a second chance, but that’s changed. His obsession had taken him over and he’s killed his own men and allowed himself to become the monster that he hates. She tells the other personnel to stand down, leaving only Fortean and Hulk to fight it out.

Fortean sort of manges to get the upper hand with a mean right cross and acid directly in the face, but Hulk plunges a finger into Fortean’s eye and ultimately his brain, killing him. They end up in the Below-Place, the realm of The One Below All and Fortean sees the error of his obsession. He sees the hellscape that his soul would be damned to every time he died and he panics. He is terrified, but there’s no time for him to correct what he’s done as Joe Fixit snaps his neck, killing his soul and any chance of him coming back to life.

It’s nihilistic. It’s dark. It’s a sign that once you cross that threshold, there’s nothing left for you but a hellish wasteland. Even at the end of all things, once everything has died and the new world is supposed to begin...there’s a flicker of green and a post credit sequence that spells doom for the future of the Marvel Universe, hell - every Marvel Universe, if The Green Door isn’t closed.

Al Ewing, Joe Bennett and the rest of this creative team have forged something evil. Something dark and twisted that Marvel hasn’t quite seen in years. I gleefully anticipate every issue of the Hulk to see just how dark things will get. There’s this cold certainty to every word that The Devil Hulk says and Banner’s father being the main demon of the Below-Place has this awful feeling of depraved destiny, that maybe the world was right to fear Hulk. Bruce Banner and his alter egos will end the world and it can’t be pretty. It will be violent, bloody and ultimately hopeless.

The other person in the mirror is the one you don’t want to see.

[weekendwarriorblog]

The 30 Minute Experiment: Fear

Probably the hardest part of doing this experiment is that I consciously have to ignore everything else going on around me to make 30 minutes of uninterrupted time to write, so we’ll see how that works out, knowing how bad my ADHD can be at times. That said, let’s do this...

So anyway... today’s topic is “FEAR” and it’s actually the topic I wanted to write about that started this whole project experiment since I wanted to write something titled, “How to Overcome Fear,” because I felt that it was something I could handle to maybe help others out there.  You see, I have a lot of people I know and love, as well as good friends, people who I admire for their strength and ability to handle anything, succumbing to the worst possible fears that anyone could possibly deal with. It’s surprised and shocked me and even saddened me a bit, because suddenly I find myself being one of the most calm and reasonable people in my immediate circles... and yes, THAT is something that people should be fearing.

I’m sure some people think that i’m taking far too cavalier attitude about this pandemic, but in fact, I’m always super-careful about germs and stuff since I spent most of 2013-2014 being in that exact same place where I was so worried about getting germs or getting sick since in that case, I literally could have ended up back in the hospital or even dead. I won’t get too much into my diagnosis with leukemia in 2013 or the stem cell transplant or my year back in New York City in 2014. Some of you already know about it. Some of you don’t. It’s a topic I can cover in full sometime down the road, even though it’s something I’ve written about a lot. But it’s very much related to this FEAR I talk about and that i’m seeing all around me right now. You see, after I got my stem cell transplant in October 2013, my immune system was reset back to zero. I literally could catch any possible disease I encountered from polio to measles to anything that anyone someone may have an immunity to due to vaccines we’re supposed to get as children. I didn’t get my new vaccines until October 2015. Even though I was in this state and was already dealing with the possibility of getting sick while being treated in Columbus, Ohio, I was hell bent on getting back to my life and apartment in NYC. (And if you saw my apartment then and even now and realized that part of my leukemia may have been brought on by the conditions I was living in for 20 years, YOU would have been fearful of LETTING me come back to that apartment let alone lived there yourself under similar circumstances.) I had to come back to New York. Living in Ohio with my mother (mostly being sequestered as most of us are now) was driving me crazy as was my lack of independence and inability to go out to do the things I loved so much. If I was my doctor, I probably wouldn’t allow it, but we made a deal and that was that I would spend 100 days after my transplant before even asking about returning to NYC.

Knowing what I knew about my condition, I relented and though my planned return was sidelined by a week, I came back to NYC at almost 107 day and while I didn’t come into my apartment (my brother and a couple hired hands spent a couple days cleaning it up and putting things in boxes, etc.) I was absolutely PETRIFIED of getting sick while being in NYC. I was wearing a mask and gloves everywhere but I was also worried that I might forget something and I had lists that I was checking and double-checking regularly. God bless my brother for putting up with me cause every time we left the very small hotel room that I had rented for our stay, I was taking forever to make sure I was ready as I checked and double checked everything, made sure i was being safe, etc. etc. I should also mention that in the week when I returned, my brother and I went to see the Pixies out in Newark, and I’m pretty sure we took a busy rush hour train to get out there and I probably wore my mask for a lot of it. Mind you, I hadn’t seen a concert in over 10 months and that was part of what was driving me crazy.

But the point is that I had this incredible fear that had been put into me from the doctors and everything I read, and that fear was much about having to go back into the hospital as it was of getting sick. I spent so much of 2013 in hospitals and for someone who had spent 20 years avoiding doctors and hospitals, it was not a fun experience.  Sure, I did get sick a few times in the couple years since I got back and I did have to go to the ER for a few less-than-fun experiences, but the important thing is that A.) I pushed myself to overcome my fears and B.) I allowed my new immune system to do what it was meant to do... build up its immunities and the anbibodies needed to take on any germ or virus or disease that was thrown at me. 

Part of this may have seemed reckless to some and maybe still does, but you know what? IT WAS NECESSARY. Because the only thing worse than actual death is FEAR.

Think about it. What is the worst thing that can happen to you if you get COVID? Yes, you will die. What is the second worst thing? You will get very sick and be miserable, maybe you’ll have to go the hospital and spend some time in a ventilator and the... you will die. Or maybe you’ll contract it, not know it, not get any symptoms, and then give it to someone you like or love and then they’ll give it to someone they like or love and then maybe they’ll be put through it. Those are all viable fears to a point.

A little bit of fear is good, but what’s bad is the completely out-of-control and unreasoning fear of everything and everyone that has become even more contagious than the virus that everyone is afraid of. The stuff I’ve heard and read in the last couple weeks from people I consider reasonable, logical and yes, STRONG, makes me wonder whether FEAR really has won.

Let’s think back. Remember when 9/11 happened and everyone was suddenly afraid of terrorists and every time there’s been a mass shooting and everyone was afraid to go to movie theaters, concerts, etc? But somehow, we got over those fears and we went back to movie theaters and concerts and trust me, getting blown up in a high-rise building or being riddled with AR-15 bullets would probably be a LOT worse than suffering from fevers, the inability to breathe, hacking cough and some of the worst aspects of COVID (and I say this only to those of you who are healthy and young... not my older friends and those who are currently fighting other conditions or immuno-compromised). Being in or around the World Trade Center on 9/11 meant a much faster death and for the 3,000 people who did die that day, they probably had no time or warning to prepare at all. They were just going about their everyday lives when the first plane hit and then the second... and you probably know or have heard the rest. 

Make no mistake. It was a horrible day and so have been all the other days when people died from senseless violence, and in most of those cases, they didn’t have a way to prepare or fight back. 

With COVID, we KNOW how to defeat it, we have the tools. We have the weapons, and we have the knowledge. Sure, there are still many unknown aspects to it that scientists and doctors with bigger brains than you or I are figuring out, but ... and I’m going to try to put this as nicely as possible... WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FEARING THE UNKNOWN?

That is exactly what is going on right now. People aren’t sure of what is happening right now, what is going to happen tomorrow or a month from now, so they’re spending all their time worrying and fretting to a point where they’re unable to function. I’m not saying that I’m better than that, but I’m also being a realist here. The chances of me walking out my front door after taking all sorts of precautions and contracting COVID are probably less chances than me actually winning the Powerball the few times I’ve played it over the years. The chances of me having a pizza delivered and the COVID-infected delivery guy passing it onto me are only slightly higher.

I live in New York City... in CHINATOWN, no less... and I was doing a lot of stuff just before the governor closed the valve that totally should have had me infected but other than a small cough that lasted maybe an hour and some dry eyes, I haven’t shown a single symptom in the three weeks I have now been quarantined.  But when I need something from outside, I either go out to get it or I order it (in terms of food delivery), because the other option is sitting in my own filth like Howard Hughes (without his money) and worrying and fretting and being fearful of the unknown.  (Heck, New Yorkers generally do this every day ANYWAY, so this time should be no different than any others.)

The thing is that if I chose to live my life in fear, I would still be living in Columbus, Ohio with my mother, not being able to get out and do the things I love to do. I wouldn’t be able to read comics or go to concerts, let alone the movies that I like to watch and write about. 

As I end today’s 30 minute experiment, which I hope hasn’t come across more like a 30 minute lecture, think abut this for yourself. (Yes, there will be some home work for those who choose to read this far.)

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? WHAT IS THE FEAR THAT IS OVERWHELMING YOU?

Are you afraid to die? Fair. Are you afraid to get someone else sick or possibly kill them? Also fair. Are you afraid of getting yourself sick? Sure, that’s also fair.

But don’t let that FEAR rule your ilfe and every decision you make because the reality is that as long as you’re not going out and hanging out with hundreds of people you don’t know or going out and randomly French kissing anyone you meet on the street. (I wouldn’t put that past some of you!!!)  Then guess what? You’ll be fine. We’ll all be fine as long as we’re careful. Don’t let the FEAR of whatever you’re afraid of be worse than the actual virus.  My time is up now (I actually forgot to set my time) so until tomorrow.... 

This has been today’s 30 Minute Experiment.

[dellaliz19]

Star Trek Discovery Season Finale thoughts

(Spoilers)

So, we’ve now come to the end of the first season of Discovery, a show I’ve had...mixed feelings about, shall we say. And fittingly, I rather feel the same way about the finale. There are parts of the finale I think are really well done, and parts that are hollow and rushed, and so I’m going to talk about them.

The good:

- Burnham’s speech. I really do love that speech: it’s all the ideals of Star Trek celebrated and delivered by a WOC, and that’s lovely. I will say though, it might have made more sense characterwise to have Saru deliver it, as it’s almost more fitting to his arc, but given that Burnham is the main character, I get why it was done that way.

- I’ll get to Sarek in a moment, but it was lovely to have him and Michael get their moment, and him giving her the reinstatement was a good step in their arc.

- Tilly was adorably fun, as always. Love how she steps in between Burnham and Ash, and how she salutes the Emperor. More Tilly, please.

- Starting with Burnham wanting to fire first and then having her argue against it are good bookends for character growth...whether or not the arc in the middle of those bookends was well delivered is up for some debate. This feels like a decision that was rushed, and not all that earned, but again, I appreciate the bookends of it.

The Bad:

- Why doesn’t Saru get to be Captain? He’s really good at it, and honestly he’s earned it, just as much as AOS!Kirk had. Having a non-human Captain was really progressive for Discovery, and it’s disappointing that it doesn’t seem to be sticking.

- The Enterprise. This is going to be a decisive one for many people, who loved this twist but I’m in the camp of people who don’t want this. To be clear, this isn’t the first time Trek shows have done this: TNG had cameos from several TOS crew mates (and also Generations, but we’d all like to forget that). But those shows never relied on the cameos or characters from previous generations to tell their stories like Discovery does with Sarek...

- Sarek still being so integral to the story. Remember when Grey’s Anatomy announced that Meredith Grey had a SECOND secret sibling, and everyone decided on mass that was the dumbest thing ever, and that you can only pull the secret sibling card once in a franchise? Well, the Discovery writers didnt learn that lesson, so here we are. Michael Burnham could have been the adopted daughter of any random Vulcan (or another alien species if you’d really wanted to give her an arc that wasn’t copied pasted off of Spock’s), but the decision to make her Spock’s secret sister is something they should be leaning away from and letting her be her own character, not towards.

-Ash/Voq resolution. This whole arc was a bit mismanaged and having Ash head off in this episode is pretty clear evidence that the writers had written themselves into a corner. Is he to blame, is he not? What laws apply here. To say nothing of the “we can transplant a Klingon brain onto a human,” thing, which is kind of like the portable beaming device from Into Darkness: a cool idea that breaks the world you have built, and then the writers run away from it because the implications aren’t what they want to focus on.

- Mirror!Georgiou’s resolution. Like Lorca’s resolution, it’s disappointing that Mirror!Goergiou only gets one episode to shine in the Prime Universe. The Mirror Universe and the war really should have been 2 separate seasons so we had real time to dedicate to their arcs, instead of rushing it here.

- Still no discussion of the emotional impact that having a captain from a murderous Universe for months would have on a crew, huh?

The Ugly

- Bury Your Gays. Look, I don’t care how much the cast assures people on Twitter that Culber isn’t “like, dead for reals,” even if they unbury their gay, so to speak, it won’t erase the fact that they still killed of an LGBT character for shock value alone. Because that’s what it was: shock value. I’d be a lot more lenient if that decision had major impact on the story: maybe it lead to a trial and interesting dicussion on consent and legal responsibility with Ash/Voq’s interesting predicament. Or that we spent an episode or two focused on Stamets and his grief, saw it impact his work to the point where he couldn’t work on the spores and the crew and him had to stop and work through it. But we didn’t get that. Culber’s death could have been replaced with the death of a redshirt, and nothing would have changed because his death wasn’t about him, it was about showing that Ash/Voq was dangerous. And for a show that explicitly wanted praise for being the first “gays in Star Trek,” this was a move that was in incredibly bad taste.

Mostly, I did enjoy the finale. It’s flawed, absolutely, but I like the tone, and I’m hopeful that we can move past the weaknesses of season 1, which many great shows struggle with, and tell a story that is a little bit more about exploring the cast and brave new worlds.

[lenshop]

Blue Light - The Good and The Bad

Today we're going to share some important facts about blue light going over what it is, where it comes from, as well as how it can be good for the eyes,  bad for the eyes or potentially ugly. 

We're gonna go over blue light and these are facts about blue light really what it is where it comes from as well as how it can affect our eyes and our bodies. 

Now blue light is part of the visible spectrum of light. That is the light that we can see and perceive and which is inside of the electromagnetic spectrum which is basically all forms of light that even our eyes cannot see that includes things like infrared, light x-rays, gamma rays, your microwaves radio waves, TV waves and then of course UV light. 

And then we have our visible spectrum which goes from about 400 nanometers of light to about 700 nanometers of light. Within that spectrum between 400 and 500 nanometers of light we call that the kind of blue wavelength light spectrum and even smaller in that section about 400 to 450 nanometers of light that is the high energy visible wavelengths of blue light.

That is the energy of wavelengths that is very close to UV light but this level of blue light penetrates into the eye and can even get to the retina which can potentially be a concern for eye health. As well as our brain health which we will get into momentarily. 

Blue light comes from multiple sources most people think of blue light coming from our computer screens and our phones because that is more heavily in the media these days, as we are spending more time in front of these digital screens than ever before. Many people's jobs now are basically working on a computer all day and they're spending like eight plus hours in front of a screen. Even young children in developed countries are going to school and they're using smart boards tablets all day long. And then they come home and do homework again on a computer and yeah they're in front of a screen all day.

But blue light also comes from other sources including the Sun which is the most major source of all blue light, in fact the reason the sky is blue is because the blue light coming from the Sun and that that light hits different particles in our Earth's atmosphere and then that scatters and again that's why the sky is blue. Even lesser well-known is that blue light also comes from our artificial light sources our indoor lighting which right now a lot of us are spending more time indoors and that means we're exposed to more of this artificial light and this concern about high-energy blue wavelength light being emitted by artificial light sources has been a concern in some countries like France even noted this as a public health concern because we're transitioning to more efficient light bulbs such as LEDs and they emit a lot of harsh high-energy blue wavelength light. 

So not only do we need to be concerned about blue light coming from our computer screen but also from the Sun outside as well as indoor lighting. Of course there are concerns about blue light and we're gonna get into those, but first blue light also has some benefits to it. Blue light helps with our alertness especially early in the morning. It's even being used in some light fixtures to help treat certain mood disorders such as seasonal affect disorder. It's even been shown in some studies to help reduce fatigue for veterans who are being treated with this similar type of high-energy light. And blue light kind of like the lights I have here in the background that can affect your memory as well as changing your mood as I find blue light to be very calming and kind of has a tranquilizing effect. 

Blue light plays a significant role in regulating our sleep cycles because having a blue light get into the eye and touch certain retinal ganglion cells that activates a certain part of your brain called the pineal gland and can help regulate the release of melatonin the hormone that helps regulate your sleep cycle.

But that also means that blue light can have the bad negative effect especially if you're exposed to too much later in the evenings it could inhibit your melatonin release which is gonna delay your sleep cycles and reduce your chance of having a well rest at night sleep and you're gonna be more fatigued the next day and it even helps inhibit developing good memories which is my concern for especially for young kids who are going to school and trying to learn as they're not developing those memories then they're not going to learn as well.

In addition getting somewhere between seven and eight hours of sleep at night has been shown to help reduce your chances of developing memory loss issues as you get older such as dementia and Alzheimer's. 

This is a major concern that I personally have as I have done a lot of Vision Care in senior homes working with the elderly and anybody who's seeing family members go through things like dementia and Alzheimer's,it's not fun and I don't think anybody wants that.

Alongside having reduced amount of sleep cycles due to exposure of blue light there's also a lot of people who are experiencing eye fatigue or digital eye strain also sometimes known as computer vision syndrome from overexposure of this harsh blue light and you may have experienced it yourself while staring at the computer and part of this is believed to be because blue light is scattered again more easily and by staring at the computer screen that extra blue light will scatter and that could even reduce the amount of contrast and you maybe have felt this but looking at a computer screen it seems really sharp and kind of almost too bright and it kind of hurts your eyes a little bit and then maybe you have seen other reading devices such as Kindles have a different type of a background screen which is not as harsh as other computer screens and phones which allows you to have more comfort when reading.

Although the results of study about eye fatigue and blue light are a little bit mixed the vast majority of people who have either reached out to me or have seen me in the clinic usually do report that they feel our eyes are more light-sensitive around blue light sources.

The real ugly concern about blue light has to do with the theories and some studies that suggest that blue light especially that high-energy wavelength visible blue light could cause retinal damage to the back of the eye. This is a kind of a touchy subject for a lot of eye care professionals because there are studies mostly animal studies in done in mass mice and rats that show that the high-energy light can cause damage to these retinal cells and it kind of makes sense that this high-energy light which is very close to UV light which we know UV light from the Sun can cause things like sunburn and skin cancer it can damage ourselves this high-energy light since it passes through and touches the retina that it may pose a risk

There's multiple studies that either show or suggest that this high-energy light increases the amount of metabolic demand on these cells. The retina is already the most metabolically active tissue in the body and if you're adding this really high level of demand on the retina over time that the cellular debris that gets built up through this hell activation of the retina that this cellular debris is going to build up what we call drusen which is a major significant factor for the development of age-related macular degeneration.

Now a big disclaimer I like to give out is that these are done on animal studies mostly rats with high-energy light really close to their face and then there are some studies done on on human retinal cells that have been transplanted to a petri dish and again completed in the laboratory, however the human eye does have defense mechanisms to help protect metabolic changes to the retina, at least when it's not a really high energy source because if you are gonna stare at the Sun or a laser pointer or something with a high amount of energy that can cause burn damage to the retina and we call that solar retinopathy when it's on the Sun.

So do not look in those high-energy light sources but you can understand why these theories and studies have us concerned about blue light. But at that same time just to be fair to everyone epidemiological studies also do show mixed results at best at really for or against that light exposure whether it be from the computer screen or the Sun outside could lead to retinal damage. 

https://lenshop.eu

[casselafrommanila]

Blog: Transplant

“The liver can regenerate after either surgical removal or after chemical injury. It is known that as little as 25% of the original liver mass can regenerate back to its full size.” -- quick Google search

Watching Grey’s Anatomy and taking allied health science courses right now is draining me. Like taking History or Ethics, or Law and Forensics, or just the fact that you know too much of a particular thing. It’s ugly. The world is ugly. It’s the best case of when to say it’s better not to know.

My father died of liver cirrhosis 21 years ago. I was 5 years and 1 week old. I remembered being in the hospital a lot as a kid. My memory is blurry. I remember physically being there but not remember what I felt when I was there. Maybe I wasn’t feeling. Or maybe I shut it down because I was feeling really bad. The brain has that defense mechanism. (That, I learned from Neuroscience.)

I remember liking the people in their all-white uniform. They were all nice. They gave me jelly ace, not the one that my mom buys but the full serving size. They all had kind eyes. But as an adult, maybe those were not kind eyes. Those were your-father-is-dying eyes. I cannot remember my dad’s face as his health deteriorated on that hospital bed, but somehow I remember some of those strangers’ faces.

Most of the things I remember during those few weeks were not my own memory. They were more of a “story” passed down to me and that’s what I’ve been retelling people when they ask about it. My father will always be remembered as the kind-hearted, charismatic, athletic, and fun-loving character that he is, but it saddens me that his daughters barely know him. He read me his own bedtime stories because we couldn’t afford story books then, yet for the life of me I cannot remember the sound of his voice.

When I was around 4 years old, I was eating a fried dish and white rice with my older sister when I accidentally knocked down her glass of water and the water poured on to my sister’s plate. She got upset and poured water onto my plate, too. We both cried and my father attended to us. I remember him saying, “Don’t worry. You can still eat it. Like it’s your favorite sinigang.” (He was in and out of the hospital and our family was broke.) As an adult, I’ve been overthinking this memory. As an adult, I can eat sinigang any time, any day. I can eat the dish for 2 weeks straight, and I’ve proven it. And as an adult, I’m thinking that maybe sinigang has been stuck in my memory because it was part of the only thing that I remember my dad saying to me almost verbatim.

As young as I was when my dad passed, a part of me knew that he was dying. He was a strong man. He had biceps that me and my sisters would hang on to as he flexes. He had the physicality and athletic ability that women have noticed through his prime years and always made my mother jealous. Me and my sisters would always say, “Daddy! Strong!!!” and then he would flex his muscles. And then one day, I said to my dad, “Daddy! Strong!” His face clearly showed that he attempted to flex his muscle, but his biceps remained soft.

My cousins on my dad’s side of the family grew up to be medical doctors. They’re mothers, who were also feminine, charming, and kind-hearted women, married rich local entrepreneurs. But they didn’t know much when my dad passed. “The liver can regenerate back to its full size.” They didn’t know that. The developing country where I came from may not have had the resources available to the first worlds. My father died at 37 because his 11 siblings did not know that they could’ve done something.

I am 21 years too late to be angry. I’m angry at this, and I’m also angry at myself because I don’t have all the facts to be this mad.

I decided to become a doctor when I was in high school. I took a biology class and I realized that I was good at it. Then I took a chemistry and I was still decent at it. I wasn’t the smartest kid, although I received honorary awards every school year. I am still not the smartest student now at 26. I am no longer in track to become a doctor, and I will be a scrub nurse instead. My father’s could-have-been transplant led me to pick the surgery track and kick ass at it. 

Hopefully I can give a daughter/son some day a longer life with a father/mother by their side. And that would be enough.

[garden-of-everything]

ABIM: Hematology

ABIM syllabus can be found here Let me know if you find any errors Sources: UWorld, MKSAP 16/17, Rizk Review Course, Louisville Lectures, Knowmedge (free version)

Hypoproliferative anemia

Aplastic anemia: - associated with autoimmune diseases, thymomas <-- need CT chest, Tx with resection - Tx all patients with PPx anticoagulation + iron + folic acid; if <40yo: stem cell transplant - associated with PNH: pancytopenia/hemolytic anemia with need for transfusions + Budd-Chiari/venous thrombosis/CVA/MI + morning hematuria/iron deficiency, associated with AML; Dx: flow cytometry shows lack of CD55, CD59; Tx: iron + Eculizumab to decrease need for transfusions (AE of Eculizumab is increased risk of meningococcal infections) +/- (if thrombus) warfarin; if <40yo: allogenic BMT Iron deficiency anemia: - decreased iron, ferritin, transferrin; increased TIBC, RDW - associated with gastric surgery, restless leg syndrome - colon cancer until proven otherwise - also seen in: (1) Celiac disease:  IBS Sx with iron deficiency that is unresponsive to oral supplementation; Dx: tissue transglutaminase Ab --> if neg: small bowel biopsy (2) Plummer-Vinson: esophageal webs, glossitis; associated with squamous cell esophageal carcinoma (3) Osler-Weber-Rendu/Hereditary Hemorrhagic Telangiectasia: lip/oral telangiectasias + epistaxis + +FOBT associated with hemoptysis/brain bleed - Tx iron deficiency: PO supplementation x6mo or IV iron gluconate (dextran is associated with anaphylaxis) Sideroblastic anemia: - ringed sideroblasts/basophilic stippling on PBS seen in EtOH, lead toxicity (Burton line on teeth, deposition in metaphysis, RTA type II (hypokalemia, glucosuria)), copper deficiency, and use of INH (from B6 deficiency), chloramphenicol, Linezolid - Tx hereditary sideroblastic anemia with pyridoxine/B6 Megaloblastic anemia:  MCV>100, hypersegmented PMNs, associated with EtOH use (1) B12 deficiency: peripheral paresthesias; associated with strict vegetarians and Crohn’s disease (terminal ileum disease), elevated methylmalonic acid > homocysteine (2) Pernicious anemia: anti-IF antibodies causing B12 deficiency; associated with autoimmune diseases and increased risk of gastric cancer (3) folate deficiency: no paresthesias; associated with pregnancy, EtOH, and Bactrim use; elevated homocysteine only Pure red cell aplasia:  associated with AIDS + Parvovirus B19; Dx: flow cytometry shows monoclonal CD57+ T-cells; Tx: IVIg and check for thymoma with CT chest

Hemolytic anemia

- PBS shows schistocytes (vs. dacryocytes/tear drop cells with 2 line involvement in Myelodysplastic syndrome) - appropriate reticulocyte response = >100,000/uL - Tx chronic hemolytic anemia with folate - Scleroderma renal crisis (HTN, AKI, MAHA):  Tx with ACEi (Captopril) even iff pregnant - MAHA in the setting of mechanical heart valve needs emergent TEE to check for leak/regurg Glucose-6-phosphate dehydrogenase deficiency: - remember food: fava beans, bite cells, Heinz bodies (red spots in RBCs; looks kind of like a pink boob with 1 or more red nipples) - associated with sulfa drugs, infection, and DKA --> hemolysis - has decreased glutathione levels Pyruvate kinase deficiency: Tx with PRN transfusions --> severe?: splenectomy Autoimmune hemolytic anemia:  Coomb’s/DAT positive (1) warm immunoglobulins: - IgG, DAT+ with spherocytosis - associated with autoimmune (SLE, UC), HIV, CLL - Tx steroids --> splenectomy --> refractory Tx: IVIg, AZT, cyclophosphamide, Rituximab (2) cold: - IgM (Mmm cold ice cream), occurs in cold temperatures - associated with malignancies, mono, mycoplasma - Tx: avoid the cold, Rituxan Microangiopathic hemolytic anemia:  Tx: plasma exchange +/- corticosteroids - Sx:  “FAT RN” (fever, anemia, thrombocytopenia, renal failure, neuro sx) - Dx: normal coags, D-dimer, fibrinogen (vs. DIC = elevated coags and D-dimer; decreased fibrinogen, platelets) *FYI:  ITP, TTP/HUS, and HELLP all have normal coags (1)  TTP:  primarily neurologic symptoms - increased vWF multimers/decreased ADAMSTS13 (NOT needed for diagnosis) - associated with tacrolimus, cyclosporine, plavix/ticlodipine, quinine - Tx: plasmapheresis *if >20 weeks pregnant, this is TTP and does NOT resolve with delivery (2)  HUS:  primarily renal symptoms - associated with E.coli/Shigella diarrhea and cyclosporine - Tx: discontinue cyclosporine!, supportive, plasmapheresis Hereditary spherocytosis: - jaundice from unconj/indirect hyperbilirubinemia, pigmented gallstones, splenomegaly, leg ulcers - PBS shows spherocytes and Howell-Jolly bodies (blue dot in RBC seen in splenectomy); DAT negative (vs. DAT+ in warm hemolytic anemia; see above) - Dx: osmotic fragility test --> flow cytometry - Tx: splenectomy Wilson’s: young patient with hemolytic anemia + psychosis + transaminitis

Hemoglobinopathies and thalassemias

- present as microcytic anemias: MCV <80; target cells Alpha thalassemia: has normal Hb electrophoresis --, -x = HbH: hemolysis, splenomegaly, Heinz body - --,-- = Barts / Hydrops fetalis (dies before birth) Beta thalassemia:  abnormal Hb electrophoresis - minor: elevated HbA2 (alpha 2 gamma 2) and HbF - intermedia:  elevated HbA2 only; Tx: intermittent transfusion +/- iron chelation if Fe>1000 - Major:  elevated HbF, decreased HbA;  Tx: splenectomy and allogenic stem cell transplant Hemoglobinopathy:  severe disease requires stem cell transplant

Leukocyte disorders

(1) AML:  t(15;17) - associated with PCV, Fanconi’s, Down’s, Klinefelter’s, CML, XRT/chemo, benzenes, MDS - presents acutely as sepsis (decreased PMNs, anemia, thrombocytopenia) - pallor, gingival hypertrophy (M5), fatigue, easy spontaneous bleeding/purpura (due to thrombocytopenia), and NO hepatosplenomegaly or lymphadenopathy -  M3 (Auer rods) associated with DIC Tx: ATRA *ATRA AE: after 1-3 weeks --> fever, leukocytosis, pulmonary infiltrates/hypoxemia; Tx: dexamethasone *prevent TLS (hyperkalemic paresthesia/weakness, hypocalcemic tetany, bronchospasm, AKI) with Allopurinol BEFORE chemo --> Rasburicase (2) CML: t(9;22)/BCR-ABL, decreased LAP - asymptomatic splenomegaly with elevated WBC (symptomatic when >200) with increased Eosinophils and Basophils - Tx: Imatinib/Gleevec (TKI) (3) ALL:  TdT, anterior mediastinal mass (thymoma <-- chest CT)/bulky mediastinal lymphadenopathy with bone pain and CNS involvement - increased blasts (>30%) - Tx: combo chemo (intrathecal if CNS involvement) +/- XRT if bulky disease --> stem cell (4) CLL:  B2microglobulin; CD5, CD23 B-cells; smudge cells - asymptomatic, lymphadenopathy, hepatosplenomegaly, lymphocytosis, thrombocytopenia - Tx: watchful waiting if asymptomatic; Bendamustine+Rituxan > Fludarabine + Bactrim PPx *AE:  Richter’s syndrome: transformation into aggressive large cell lymphoma *Evan’s syndrome: AIHA + ITP (5) Hairy cell:  older patient with pancytopenia, splenomegaly, dry fibrotic bone marrow - associated with PAN - Dx: flow-cytometry: CD11c, CD103+; +TRAP - Tx: Cladribine

Platelet disorders

*Rule of thumb:  transfuse if Plt <10 or if ICH/pulm hemorrhage <40-50; 1 bag of platelets corrects by 25k *give IVIg + steroids if pregnant with Plt <50 *Plt >50 = okay for surgery Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura:  diagnosis of exclusion - Dx: PBS, DAT+ (don’t order anti-Plt antibodies) - Tx (if symptomatic or Plt <15): steroids --> IVIg/Rhogam --> refractory: splenectomy, Rituxan Heparin-induced thrombocytopenia (HIT): - 4T’s: thrombocytopenia (2pts: >50%, 1pt: 30-50, 0pt: <30), timing (>5days, ?>5, <4), thrombosis (+, ?, -), no other cause (yes, maybe, no); score 6-8 = high, 0-3 low - Dx: PF4, SRA - Tx: stop Heparin (warfarin is NOT contraindicated!); switch to Argatroban Essential thrombocythemia: - “Jack et Vera are Buddies” (”et” in Latin is “and”): Jak2 mutations are associated with ET, polycythemia Vera, and Budd-Chiari” - JAK2, CALR, BCR-ABL, NPL1 - Plt >600 --> livedo reticularis, erythromelagia (painful red hands/feet, Tx: ASA), headache, vision changes - Tx: ASA + (if symptomatic) Hydroxyurea +/- (if TIA/CVA/MI/GIB) pheresis Other platelet dysfunction:  increased bleeding time; bleeding from small injuries, epistaxis, menorrhagia (1) vWF: increased PTT/low-normal VIII corrected with mixing study; Dx: vWF Ag; Tx: pre-dental DDAVP or for active bleed, recombinant factor VIII (2) Bernard-Soulier: X glycoprotein Ib --> thrombocytopenia (3) Glanzmann (~Abciximab/Eptifibatide): X gpIIb-IIIa --> normal platelet counts

Coagulation factor disorders and thrombotic disorders

Rule of Thumb: PeT PiTTbull - PT extrinsic pathway (VII, X) - PTT intrinsic pathway (VIII, IX, XI, XII) *mixing studies correct = deficiency --> present as bleeding into muscle/joint; Tx with DDAVP for mild disease or missing factor for active bleed *mixing studies don’t correct = (1) if there is bleeding: presence of factor antibody: Tx with recombinant FVII (2) if there is no bleeding:  antiphospholipid Ab

Coagulation factor deficiencies: - VII:  elevated PT (it’s pretty much the only one that isn’t elevated PTT), presents as ICH, Tx: rfVII - VIII/Hem A:  elevated PTT, bleeding into muscles/joints, no excessive bleed after minor cuts; Tx: DDAVP before dental work, fVIII - acquired VIII: elevated PTT that doesn’t correct, Tx: rFVII (<--yes, Tx is rf7, NOT 8) - IX/Hem B:  elevated PTT, bleeding into muscles/joints, no excessive bleeding after minor cuts; Tx: fIX - XI/Rosenthal: elevated PTT in Ashkenazi Jews; Tx: FFP prior to major surgeries - XII:  asymptomatic and totally benign elevated PTT - XIII:  coags look normal, but has severe post-op bleed; Dx: urease clot dissolves; Tx: Qmonthly FFP - acquired X/AL amyloid:  elevated INR with postural hypotension, macroglossia, heart failure, and proteinuria/kidney failure; Dx: serum/urine electrophoresis, free light chain assay, BMB, fat pad aspirate vs.  vWF: increased bleeding time, normal/elevated PTT that corrects with mixing stud - Dx: vWF Ag, vWF activy assay, VIII, level, subtype multimer study - Sx: gingival/mucocutaneus bleed, menorrhagia, easy bruising - Tx: DDAVP prior to dental work, active bleed: rfVIII

Thrombophilia:  DVT/PE’s (1) Antiphospholipid antibody syndrome: anti-beta2glycoprotein I Ab - blood clots, miscarriage; associated with SLE - apTT doesn’t correct with mixing study --> Dx: anticardiolipin IgG/IgM ELISA (2) Factor V Leiden: most common - Dx (check months after DVT): clotting assay (resistance to Protein C) --> genetic prothrombin G20210A mutation 

Porphyria

-morning hematuria, blistering photosensitive rash, abdominal pain, nausea/vomiting, HTN, tachycardia, psychosis, seizures all exacerbated by EtOH, smoking, stress, sulfa drugs - increased risk of HCC, lymphoma - Dx: elevated urine uroporphyrinogen (urine turns purple in sunlight) --> check for Hep C and hemochromatosis - Porphyria cutanea tarda: associated with HIV, Hep C; Tx: phlebotomy to decrease iron stores

Myeloproliferative disorders

Polychythemia vera and other erythrocytosis:  JAK2V617F, associated with Budd-Chiari, facial plethora, pruritus with hot baths - BMB is hypercellular, decreased EPO levels - Tx: ASA and phlebotomy to Hct <45 +/- Hydrea - also Tx hyperuricemia with allopurinol, pruritus with antihistamines Essential thrombocythemia:  JAK2, decreased EPO levels; associated with vWF disease (more info under Platelet Disorders above); Tx: ASA + Hydroxyurea +/- pheresis if TIA/CVA/MI/GIB Agnogenic myeloid metaplasia and myelofibrosis: - splenomegaly, dacryocytes, giant megakaryocytes/platelets, BM fibrosis - portal HTN - Tx: supportive (NOT splenectomy); if <60yo, stem cell transplant

Myelodysplastic syndrome

- cytopenia of 2 cell lines + tear drop cells + nucleated RBCs, elevated MVC - r/o B12 deficiency (PBS macrocytosis) - BMB shows ringed sideroblasts, Pseudo Pelger-Huetz cell (looks like 2-lobed PMN or cell wearing blue sunglasses) - Tx: Azacitidine to keep Plt >100k, Epo, GCSF; if young: stem cell transplant - 5q-subtype Tx (best prognosis): Thalidomide (AE: rash, peripheral neuropathy), Lenalidomide (AE: less neuropathy, but more decr PMN, thrombocytopenia)

Hematologic malignancies

Acute and chronic leukemias (see Leukocyte Disorders above) Hodgkin’s disease:  B-symptoms, non-tender contiguous nodes with Reed-Sternberg (owl-eye) B-cells, associated with EBV; Dx: full excision of lymph node + pan-CT + PET + BMB if Bsx or stage III/VI; Tx: ABVD + rads if same side of diaphragm --> screen for breast cancer 8 years after XRT or at 40yo Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma:  multiple nodes with extranodal involvement, B>T cells, associated with autoimmune dz (Sjogrens: parotid MALT), HIV (1) Indolent: (a) Follicular: painless swelling in neck, armpit, groin; Tx: watchful waiting, but if symptomatic: XRT if limited, Bendamustine-Rituxan or R-CHOP if outside XRT field (b) MALT: Tx H.pylori (2)  Aggressive: (a) Diffuse large B-cell:  B-symptoms; Dx: biopsy, Tx: CHOP --> R-CHOP --> XRT (b) AIDs-associated lymphoma:  EBV in CSF --> primary cerebral lymphoma (c) Burkitt’s lymphoma:  African jaw mass/U.S.A. abdominal mass, associated with EBV, increased LDH, starry sky (3) Cutaneous T-cell (CD4): Sezary/Mycosis Fungoides:  plaque --> nodular lesions with cerbriform nuclei (epidermis: Pautrier microabscess) Plasma cell disorder / Multiple Myeloma: - “CRAB” hypercalcemia, renal injury, anemia, lytic bone lesions - >3gM protein, >10% plasma cells in BM, normal ALP, discrepancy between urine protein and urine dipstick (due to inability to detect light chains) - Dx: BMB, XR>bone survey; serum and urine electrophoresis Q6 months - Tx: (1) <75yo: Lenalidomide/Thalidomide + Dexamethasone --> stem cell transplant --> Bortezomib (2) can’t or >75yo: Melphalan + Prednisone vs. Smoldering MM: MM without Sx vs. Plasmacytoma: solitary lytic bone lesion; Dx: tissue Bx; Tx: follow vs. MGUS: no CRAB, few clonal plasma cells, serum monoclonal protein <3g *AE of Thalidomide = DVTs

Transfusion medicine

Indications for transfusion:  Hb <7 or <10 for acute MI Complications of transfusion: (1) ABO/acute hemolytic transfusion: fever, flank pain, tachycardia, hypotension --> stop transfusion (2) Delayed: elevated bili and LDH, decreased Hb and Haptoglobin, increased retic (3) Post-transfusion purpura: within 1 week, anti-HPA-1a Ab; Tx: IVIg and watch for transfusion-induced thrombocytopenia with next transfusion (4) TRALI (ARDs picture with hypotension after transfusion; Tx: vent/supportive fluids) vs TACO (hypertension; Tx: diuretics)

Other

Sickle Cell: - may present as diffuse pulmonary infiltrates that mimic PE/PNA/appendicitis, but with >2g/dL Hb drop and elevated LDH/retic - acute chest syndrome --> Tx: exchange transfusion if Hb <10 - associated with pulmonary HTN and increased risk for CVA (BUT DO NOT NEED PLAVIX; instead CVA PPx with monthly 2 unit transfusions) - Dx: Hb electrophoresis - chronic Tx with 2 pain crisis/year or h/o ACS: hydroxyurea (but CI in pregnancy and AKI) *vs Fat embolus (long bone fx): fever, CP, thrombocytopenia, multiorgan failure; BAL shows fat bodies *vs. Aplastic crisis (Parvovirus/B19): low retic count

Plasma exchange indications: (1) Guillain Barre (symmetric ascending flaccid paralysis with reduced DTRs) (2) Myasthenia gravis (ocular-->facial -->proximal muscle weakness that doesn’t fatigue) (3) TTP (neurologic symptoms with hemolytic anemia and thrombocytopenia) (4) Goodpasture (anti-GBM nephritis (hematuria, hypertension) with hemoptysis) (5) Cryoglobulinemia (cold-induced nephritis, low complements, associated with HCV) *AE of plasma exchange = hypocalcemia from citrate: perioral numbness, tingling, anxiety/vomit; Tx: calcium gluconate

[euroman1945-blog]

The Daily Tulip

The Daily Tulip – News From Around The World

Sunday 30th September 2018

The Final Publication

Good Morning Gentle Reader….  Today will be the final publication of The Daily Tulip. Ever since I started writing the Tulip, I have had problems with Facebook, who seem to consider this newsletter about what is/was happening around the world to be Spam, and as a result, every five days or so I get restricted and cannot share the news with other groups and pages that I am a member of.

This restricting and blocking has coincided with Facebook asking me to “Boost” the publication by paying money to do so, I reject their offer, and low and behold, I am restricted and or blocked from sharing. I have always thought “Sharing” was a fundamental and core part of Facebook’s philosophy, but, it seems “Sharing”  is only possible if you pay for it.

So this month I have decided to stop writing on Facebook and seek another medium to express my thoughts on.

Thank You for all your kinds words and comments, it has been a lot of fun, unfortunately the Facebook problems have outweighed the good times..

As this is the last issue of The Daily Tulip, I thought that we could look back at some of the news events over the years that have put a smile on our collective faces….

FRIDAY 25TH SEPTEMBER 2015…. Well what do a Pigs Head, David Cameron and Oxford have in common I ask you Gentle Reader??? Well it seems that during the 1980’s when David Cameron (Call me Dave) the former PM of the United Kingdom attended Oxford from what I have been able to glean from news sites all over the world is that at Oxford two life styles existed, the ones that wore “Donkey” jackets and supported the miners and a group that wanted to relive Brideshead.. they of course were the “Filthy Rich” but to quote “Dave” ‘The atmosphere among those of us who wanted to live the Brideshead life was really quite pleasant. There were cocktail parties in the Master’s [head of college] Garden . . . and we could all play at being Sebastian Flyte.’…. But it seems Cameron went a great deal further. He also got involved in the notorious Oxford dining society, the Piers Gaveston, named after the lover of Edward II, which specializes in bizarre rituals and sexual excess….. A distinguished Oxford contemporary claims Cameron once took part in an outrageous initiation ceremony at a Piers Gaveston event, involving a dead pig. His extraordinary suggestion is that the future PM inserted a private part of his anatomy into the animal’s mouth… (Maybe that’s where the expression “Dick Head” came from??)… The late Count Gottfried von Bismarck, an Oxford contemporary of Cameron’s, reportedly threw dinner parties featuring the heads of pigs. (He later became notorious after Olivia Channon, daughter of a Tory minister, died of a heroin overdose in his Christ Church bedroom.)…Meanwhile, Cameron had joined yet another dubious society — the notorious Bullingdon Club — a riotous drinking club for a highly select band of the super-rich…..  The bespoke uniform, of navy tailcoats, mustard-coloured waistcoats and sky-blue bow ties, could run to thousands of pounds, putting membership beyond the reach of ordinary students….So I ask how much significance should be attached to Cameron’s decision to join the Bullingdon Club?... One Tory colleague thinks that the answer is ‘considerable’. The MP concerned was once asked to join the club himself, but attended just one gathering before walking out in disgust…. ‘What it basically involved was getting drunk and standing on restaurant tables, shouting about “f***ing plebs”,’ he says. ‘It was all about despising poor people.’ … I don’t think that attitude has left our former PM he still looks down on the “Huddled Mass” and truthfully doesn’t give a Dam about the average person.. he’s a sort of Margret Thatcher in men’s clothes… he makes Jeremy Corbyn look normal….  

WEDNESDAY 18TH MAY 2016…It looks like Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway has taken a bit to the tune of $1B in Apple, so It’s no longer forbidden fruit. Famously averse to tech stocks, Warren Buffett has gambled big on the Cupertino-based computing giant — news that saw the iPhone maker’s shares jump 3.5 percent to $93.65 yesterday. Long a fan of predictable, slow-earning stocks, Buffet’s investment, some analysts say, reflects that Apple is no longer a tech-only firm attracting growth and high-risk investors. And with Buffet also reportedly backing a bid to buy Yahoo, it looks like the legendary value investor has finally gotten online.. Buffett must have seen the "Core" value of Apple.....avoided the "Serpent" and taken a bite...

SUNDAY 5TH APRIL 2015…. Staying in the Garden of Eden, and why not I ask myself, It isn’t brain surgery, but still … Massachusetts General Hospital surgeons, who completed the nation’s first genitourinary reconstructive transplant last week, aren’t feeling cocky but are “cautiously optimistic” about the outcome. Patient Thomas Manning, 64, who lost his penis to cancer in 2012, reported little pain and hoped his success would encourage other men stigmatized by similar amputations. The organ, from a deceased donor, could take months to become as functional as the world’s first successfully transplanted penis, which helped father a child after being attached in South Africa in 2014.

SUNDAY 20TH NOVEMBER 2016…. “This is Nut’s”….. An English train company announced possible delays after an escaped pet squirrel became trapped on one of its trains. Southeastern railway provided an update via its Twitter account, warning of potential delays from Orpington Kent on Tuesday. "Trains from Orpington may be delayed due to a pet squirrel being stuck behind a grill on a train," the railway said. The railway explained the squirrel had gotten trapped in a vent underneath the seat as the owners attempted to coax it out. The squirrel's owners refused to leave the train until they had their pet, forcing the operators to divert the train back to Victoria to avoid further delays, according to ITV. Ultimately the owners were able to safely lure the squirrel out of the grill and the train continued on its way.

TUESDAY 12TH FEBRUARY 2013…. And finally, An alarming report released Monday by the National Audubon Society revealed that, during their lifetimes, nearly four of every five female birds will be sexually harassed by complete strangers lewdly exposing their colorful plumage. “We knew that male birds sitting on branches in groups and making obscene calls to passing females was a nearly ubiquitous phenomenon, but the frequency with which unsuspecting avians of egg-producing age are subjected to lurid flourishes of multicolor tail feathers is really quite shocking,” said Katie Ulster, an ornithologist at Columbia University who headed up the survey, which also found that 48 percent of female birds exposed to such unsolicited displays of plumage had barely reached sexual maturity. “Unfortunately, incidences of a young sage grouse or a bird-of-paradise being followed back to her nest, hearing a sudden whistle, and then turning around only to see an array of garish plumes flapping wildly right in her face are all too common.” The report also published the disturbing findings that, after enduring such behavior, many female birds will often mate with their abusers for life

Well Gentle Reader I hope you enjoyed our look back at the news from around the world this, morning… …

Our Tulips today are is called a Tulipa "Kandy Cane" and it's an historically old genius of Tulip dating back to 1785 and has not been modified since then, unlike Mr. Thomas Manning.....

A Sincere Thank You for your company and Thank You for your likes and comments over the years. I will miss the interaction with You, the reader, and before tears start to fall, as is my custom, I will go and get myself another mug of "Colombian" Coffee and wish you a safe Sunday 30th September 2018 from my home on the southern coast of Spain, where the blue waters of the Alboran Sea washes the coast of Africa and Europe and the smell of the night blooming Jasmine and Honeysuckle fills the air…and a crazy old guy and his dog called Bella go out for a walk at 4:00 am…on the streets of Estepona…

All good stuff....But remember it’s a dangerous world we live in

Be safe out there…

Robert McAngus #Spain #Tulips #Bella #Coffee #Final_Issue

[hithelleth]

The 100 4 x 08 “God Complex”

Let’s do this, so I don’t forget everything.

Bayliss not being Bayliss got uncovered pretty fast. Unfortunately, he died because [insert some half-assed science about a nightblood component that killed him as a side-effect of dispelling the radiation which they promptly found a fix for with removing the said component.]

(I’m not going to go into the whole blotched up science; but I’m sure it takes longer than a couple of hours for the transplanted bone-marrow to take effect as well as more than 5-20 seconds for radiation effects to show up. But, you know… I can let it slide? *shrugs* At least Abby found a more or less painless way of extracting the bone-marrow.)

Anyway, loved Raven and Murphy calling out Abby, Clarke and co. on Mt. Weather similarities.

Also loved Murphy calling out Clarke on saving her life. The ‘if you were nightblood/Commander, you could kill more people’ quip was also in place.

(Murphy and Clarke’s conversation was also overall heartbreaking.)

Loved Roan giving Clarke a pep talk about leadership and saving people; they are such a great BroTP/OTP (idc)! (Again, thanks, canon, for playing well with my headcanons.)

BTW, I need a gifset of his fight with Luna (I may need to gif it myself) in which he took great care to to cause her the least possible hurt and then lowered her to the ground so gently, another confirmation that he does not relish causing pain/fighting for the sake of it.

And then all that Roan and Murphy said got to Clarke so she injected herself the newly fixed nightblood bone-marrow in Emori’s place, but Abby couldn’t stand her being ‘tested’ (because she saw her ‘die’ in her EMT-fried brain hallucination), so she smashed the radiation camorra.

Well, I guess Clarke could still test herself by walking out into acid rain? Just saying.

Meanwhile, Bellamy chaperoned Jasper on a jobi nuts hunt, lol. I loved all their scenes and what Jasper said about not wasting the time left – which was, incidentally, very similar to what Kane said: you can’t change the past and what you did. Except that Kane’s point was trying to become better and Jasper’s was not beating himself up with the guilt, but those two aren’t necessarily that much different.

And Jasper even talked Bellamy into partaking in jobi nuts tea consumption and having fun. Conveniently, there was a Clarke stand-in blonde throwing herself at Bellamy, too.

Jaha, Kane and Monty found another Second Dawn bunker under Polis, being prompted to look for it by Niylah’s grounder funeral blessing ‘from the ashes we will rise’ and Mony was smart enough to find out that the blessing is actually an instruction to melt the Second Dawn coin down to get the key to opening the bunker.

Indra, dear, as much as I love BB, he’s not exactly the person to look up to re: mass murder. Anyway, Indra is now pro-gun. Also, if you have only 10 days to live, why does it matter guarding the Commander’s tower at all costs? (Well, she did move the guard to the temple once the bunker was discovered, but, eh.)

Kane was right, though, Roan (or if not him, the rest of the Azgeda) will think Skaikru did the killing.

But we have a month-long hiatus ahead to not worry about it just yet. Maybe I could instead get somewhat closer to finishing the monster Bellamy/Roan fic in the meantime? Someone needs to kick my ass into trying harder at that.