#notes to self

[oysters-aint-for-me]

tips on refrigerator ownership for the mentally ill

1.) letting food go bad does NOT make you a Bad Person.

2.) it is okay to throw out only one thing at a time. even especially if there are a lot of expired things in there.

3.) give yourself permission to throw out tupperware once in a while.

[forfoxessake]

BULLETS hair timeline (important!)

GERARD edition

Gee got this hair after the 9/14/02 show, this is 9/15/02, dyed it black again by 10/28/02

long brown hair 2003

[dreamers-collective]

Reminder that you can wholeheartedly love your system and sysmates and still have days where you feel tired of being a system. Sometimes being a system makes hard days easier, but sometimes it makes them harder, and that’s okay too.

[creatingnikki]

another year is ending and I want you to know that it is okay if you:

have not healed from the things that happened/did not happen from six months ago. just because the year is ending it does not mean your grief is too.

don't have any "fun" NYE plans to ring in the new year. this life is yours to live across days and months and years, and you can celebrate days other than the ones heavily marketed and shoved down your throat to shroud you in severe FOMO.

have no resolutions or goals for the new year laid out in elaborate lists or shared on social media or with your friends. you are braving through this life trying to do your best every day and hold the fort and so of course you know, deep down you know what is needed from you for you going forward and of course you are going to work in that direction. good luck love.

have not become a "better" version of yourself by any of the tangible or conventional measures. that kind of bettering is mostly to serve others, not yourself.

are not happy with yourself/your life as it is now. you're a work-in-progress, remember? and if you're progressing in a direction you do not like, then it's time to change the blueprints and the strategy.

take time off social media around this time to protect your mental health and whatever little joy you have managed to keep.

don't want to spend too much time reflecting on how this past year went and doing various forms of 2023-wrapped. again, it's your life. you can also revisit this year in memories and pictures and feelings whenever you'd like. it's not like you don't still visit 2012, 2017, and 2022, right?

feel disconnected from your friends, family, lover. I know this is "ideally" a time to be celebrated with your loved ones. but life is not ideal, is it? it's just life. and if right now you are not feeling the love, the joy, or just don't have the headspace or social energy to engage , that's alright.

are finding comfort in simpler things like a TV show from the 90s or that book you first read at sixteen or that slice of strawberry cake or a random post like this you come across.

don't feel hopeful, encouraged, or excited for the new year. given everything that's happened in the last couple of years, on the macro and micro level, it's only natural for you to feel weary as well as wary. when the good things happen, when the healing happens, when things begin working in your favour over time, you will automatically feel all those things. it's okay if until then you choose to be neutral.

[888notes]

Trust in the universe, redirections and perceived setbacks. Everything is always working out in your favor

[heartwombmind]

everything is god and god is within. go meditate

[museaway]

"I have to get it right the first time!"

why? why do you have to get it right the first time? what's actually going to happen if your words aren't in the absolute perfect order before you move on to the next sentence? you aren't showing the draft to anyone. this is why we have the editing and revision process. perfection is a trap that keeps you from making progress. dare I say it's rooted in fear? let it go. allow yourself to be imperfect.

[kindnotestoself]

[I see how hard you are trying to unlearn bad habits and I'm so proud of you.]

[spring-sage]

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

—Maya Angelou

[professionalfacesitter]

Step out of survival mode baby girl you deserve it 💕💕💕

[veliseraptor]

the sabbath by abraham joshua heschel / how to do nothing by jenny odell / mekhilta, tractate bachodesh 7.11

[forfoxessake]

BULLETS hair timeline (important!)

(FRANK edition)

From Christy on twitter:

June 16 - Nov 02 2002 - Long Dreads

Dec 13 2002 - Cut dreads into weird mohawk thing

Early Jan 2003 - Dreads mostly gone

Late Jan - Early Feb 2003 - Dreads gone: fauxhawk/mohawk / blonde sometime between

june 26-july 25 - shaved head

Frank got his blonde mohawk sometime after the 1/12/03 show (first) and before the 1/25/03 show (second) [source: Ash on twitter]

[saddbitchposts]

Understand, if it didn’t work before it won’t work now. Stop letting people back in where they don’t belong.

[creatingnikki]

why do I need constant reassurance? multiple forehead kisses and a good morning text. being checked in on and constantly being in the loop with your whereabouts. a good night text even after we had a 2-hour call before bed. why? I don't remember being this way before. sure, I've always known to be more of a anxious attachment style person and I know I have abandonment issues. but I never felt this in need of reassurance. this constant presence and expression of your existence and feelings. and in the books and in the movies and even in the poetry, they say things like the right person would give it to you. the hundred forehead kisses and the thousandth reassurance. that the person who really loves you and cares about you would do it all. but the truth is, it's both a yes and no. the willingness will be there most times but what about the ability? a lot of times that may not be there. why? because they too are living a whole life with work and family and their own emotions and needs. so they can be there for you a lot of the times but all the time? no. that's unfair and unreasonable. and you aren't that, are you? unfair or unreasonable? so, please learn to calm your mind. don't let your emotions fluctuate so quickly. if three hours ago you felt so very loved by them, not hearing back from them for a few hours shouldn't make you feel abandoned or unloved. take a deep breath and drink your coffee and go look at the sky and finish your work and text your friend and dance to that old song and finish that cake and remember that you are loved — by him, by others, by the universe. I'm not forcing you to loveeeee yourself. I'm just reminding you that you are in fact very loved.

[hithelleth]

*crochety old lady voice*

'Kids' these days. So impatient for the throuple to happen. (It already has!)

IDK what they expect? Porn on-screen? Won't happen. That's what fanfic and imagination are for, ffs. Not to mention, relationships are more than sex.

Back in the day *crochetiness intensifies* we shipped characters who hadn't even met yet, lol.

Anyway, I really liked the last two episodes with Ody3 being nice and caring to eachother. This is what feeds a shipper's soul! At least mine.

Just give me five more seasons of it. Or at least a satisfactory/hopeful season finale if they don't renew it.

[lauperart]

This like week four of consistent journaling and I’m finding I really like writing black out poems or as I just found out eraser poetry. How cool is that name and why didn’t I know about it sooner? I also got some new washi tape. Two new blue colors which are very pretty.